#TV detectives

[vavandeveresfan]

Columbo gets angry. Mood.

I can so identify with him in this compilation.

A little guy who believes in justice, who uses his cunning and wiles to lure murderers into smug complacency, and then nails their asses while smiling benignly. But every now and then his patience reaches a snapping point, the facade is tossed aside, and you see the passion in him.

Damn, I love Columbo. If anyone tries to remake this series I'll commit murder.

For the record, Columbo isn't really angry with the young man he's yelling at in Italian. He's pressuring him to give some information. I think. The only Italian I know are names of foods.

[stone-cold-groove]

Farrah Fawcett.

[countesspetofi]

Today in the Department of Before They Were Star Trek Stars: Jonathan Frakes guest stars in "Stages of Fear," episode 8 of the seventh season of Barnaby Jones (original air date November 23, 1978). Frakes plays the castmate and boyfriend of a young actress who's being stalked and terrorized during rehearsals for a new musical. The producer hires Barnaby Jones's detective agency to investigate. Frakes' character dies halfway through the episode and does a Sunset Boulevard in the swimming pool. I'm wondering if this was before the back injury, because he does some pretty athletic diving in the first swimming pool scene. Or maybe the symptoms just got worse over time; I know how that goes.

Other Trek connections: Jerry Goldsmith wrote the theme music for both Barnaby Jones and Star Trek: The Next Generation, as well as music for several Star Trek movies.

[iainjclark]

New painting! Shaun Evans as Endeavour Morse (acrylics on cold-pressed watercolour block.)

[zippocreed501]

Hill Street Blues

[animusrox]

"You Missed the Point by Idolizing Them" Starter Pack

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Dr Doolittle-style show about a detective who can talk to animals, except instead of talking like people the animals still talk like animals, just translated into English sentences, so the plot of most episodes centres around trying to figure out what the star witness testimony actually means.

Victim's murder was witnessed by her pet snake, whose tank was in the room. Unfortunately pet snake is incapable of describing the world around them except in terms of 'rocks' and 'meat', with their descriptions of individual forms of 'meat' focusing almost entirely on body temperature and smell.

(Solved when it turns out that their description of 'warm-cold meat with rock' was actually an attempt to describe a suspect with a prosthetic limb, which is pretty unnoticeable to a human, but looks dramatically different in infrared.)

Murder at a honey farm. Each witness managed to see about ~0.06% of the full crime, in order to get the full picture, you have to get them to swarm.

Victim was found several days after death, already crawling with maggots. Days into the investigation, protag begins a frantic search to find any surviving maggots/flies that were on the corpse, after realising that how the victim tasted would give vital information about the poison used.

Also there's at least one or two animals who actually do talk in full sentences and in terms humans can understand, and the reason behind this is never fully explained.

All cats in this universe talk in terms of 'mine/not-mine' and mainly focus on territory, mates and food, with the one exception of the main character's cat who is named Watson and knows how to use sarcasm.

All insects speak in one word sentences where everything is 'food', 'enemy' or (for hive insects) 'friend' and 'queen', with the exception of seven-spotted ladybirds specifically, who for some reason speak in full English sentences and are up to date and knowledgeable about world events. The protagonists is as concerned by the full implications of this as you are.

[sonovabeatch]

Alexandra Daddario x True Detective

[mylavellan]

Neil Gaiman really just turned all his works into tv shows to make every character (canonically) gay.

I really appreciate this in a man.

[vavandeveresfan]

Pet peeves: category: TV detectives.

OK OK what rEALLY cheeses me off is when a TV detective carries around a backpack all the time and never fucking takes anything out of it or puts anything in it.

When it's just a fucking prop, like, for what reason?

My backpack has a brush, moisturizer, pen, notepad, measuring tape, penknife, leash (for when I come across a stray dog), bus pass, keys, wallet, sunglasses (on sunny days), phone, band-aids, aspirin, binoculars, compass, breath mints, fruit bars, a book.

And believe it or not all of those things have come in handy at one time or another.

And it can expand to hold a goddamn baby elephant.

So what's the point of a detective who never puts anything in his backpack and never takes anything out? He just lugs it around, to show, what? How proletariat he is? Pockets aren't enough for this sleuth, he needs a Hershel pack for all the shit he doesn't have.

Columbo kept all kinds of stuff in his raincoat. Cigars, matches, hard-boiled eggs, salt shaker, gumdrops, dog treats, once an entire fucking Thermos. Miss Marple had lots of handy things in her purse, from hankies to knitting. Father Brown had a purple stole and lock picks in his cassock. Maigret had a tobacco pouch, matches, and pipe in his coat.

But Backpack Detectives don't have so much as a sandwich in a paper bag.

It just irks me. Couldn't the writers come up with something the characters actually used?

(I admit I haven't seen all episodes of Unforgotten and Death in Paradise, so it's possible they used their backpacks and I didn't see it, but in all the episodes I have seen they've never zipped open those suckers even once.)

The other thing that irks me is that Backpack Detectives always carry their pack only over one shoulder.

If you're kneeling down to examine the body or footprints or blood smears, or bending over to squint at the shattered vase or bullet in the coffee table, that pack will slip right off your shoulder. So you have to hold it in place with your other hand. Which means you only have one free hand.

If you do the sensible thing, the thing backpacks are designed for, you have both your arms through the straps, which leaves you with both hands free.

A detective wants both hands free. What if the murdered person's spouse offers a cup of tea while Backpack Detective is picking shards of bone out of the carpet? He doesn't have a free hand.

Screenwriters need to think about this shit more.

[fancykraken]

Same, Navarro. 😳😏

True Detective, “Part 4”, s4x04

[ninjafuuzz]

im going batshit insane over these twos,,,, god bless

[iainjclark]

New painting! I loved Bertie Carvel's very sad, solemn performance as the poet-detective Adam Dalgliesh. I was trying to capture that expression here

This is acrylics on cold-pressed watercolour block.

[kweerfish]

publicity stills from True Detective: Season One (2014). starring Matthew McConaughey (Rust Cohle) and Woody Harrelson (Marty Hart).

[missfisherandjack]

“Now, tell me, Jack, does that new furrow in your brow have anything to do with kissing me the other night?”

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries (2012-2015) ↳ 1x07 Murder In Montparnasse // 1x08 Away With The Fairies

[grandmoments]

I'm in love with this chaos!

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency