#Take a Hint and such are GREAT! but not inherently aro or ace. Just about telling people to accept no for an answer like a person should do

[staryflowers]

Killing all the songs titled "Never Been in Love" that are about being in love with a ROCK

[makeste]

I saw this take on twitter about Hana & Kacchan having “reverse parallels” and since they both have apologised to Tenko/Deku (but one was more or less sincere and the other was absolutely sincere) and they said that, while Hana moved away from Tenko, Kacchan ran to catch Deku. There was also more to the thread abt Kacchan & Hana’s differences. They were sorta trying to argue that this is a clue that Hori intends for Bkdk to be sibling-like/brotherly. As a bkdk shipped, I’ve accepted that it makes sense.. cause it’s an established fact that Tenko & Deku parallel each other. Tenko having his own “Kacchan” makes sense. Tho yes I am a little sad since I’ve held a little bit of hope for romantic bkdk becoming canon. I just wanted to ask your opinion if Hana was really meant to foil Kacchan or was it just a reach?

okay so I have a couple responses to this.

1. while it's true that Horikoshi has woven a lot of deliberate parallels between Deku and Tenko's characters, that doesn't mean every single thing about their lives and every single person they interact with is a part of those parallels. which is to say that no, I don't really think Hana and Kacchan are meant to mirror each other in any kind of significant way. Hana's apology to Tenko was under completely different circumstances than Kacchan's apology to Deku; I really don't see any connection between the two situations. you might as well be trying to compare Hana to Endeavor, or Deku, or Hawks, or Aizawa, or any other character who's apologized to anyone over the course of the story.

2. please pardon the forthcoming rant, anon -- and I hope you know that none of this is aimed at you in particular -- but for me personally, this whole obsession with ships becoming canon is one of the most exasperating types of discourse there is. like, don't get me wrong, I totally understand people wanting to see their favorite ships validated by the author, and not to mention there's also the issue of having more LGBTQ+ representation. but speaking as someone whose own orientation (aromantic) has almost no representation in fiction whatsoever, it gets frustrating to see so many people dismiss non-romantic relationships as being an inferior type of ship, to the extent that calling a relationship "sibling-like" is now a commonly-used attack in ship wars. so many people view romance as this completely transformative element, to the point where two characters can literally tick every other box on the intimate personal relationship checklist, and none of it will matter to some people unless they actually confess their love and kiss.

and again, I'm not saying I don't understand it, especially since queerbating is a thing. it's one thing if a writer is genuinely just trying to portray a close friendship, especially in series where romance isn't really a focus. but it's another thing entirely if a writer is deliberately hinting at a romance in a blatant bid to attract a larger queer audience, while all the while having no intention whatsoever of having those hints lead anywhere. the issue, I guess, is that it's not always easy to tell which scenarios are the former, and which are the latter. and of course, you also have people who think that the former is a type of cop-out as well, because the thing is that romance is always viewed as the default. so for a lot of people, allosexual and alloromantic relationships are the only ones that get considered as far as representation goes.

but you know what, I'm just gonna say it; even knowing where people are coming from, it's still discouraging to know that so many people are so dismissive of aro and ace relationships that the thought of a favorite ship not becoming romantic in canon is considered a profound disappointment. and it's even more discouraging that the thought of a rival ship becoming canon is considered such an existential threat to some that they will literally use "oh, they're just like siblings" as an argument against the ship, rather than a point in favor of. because siblings are a downgrade. friendship is a downgrade. any kind of close relationship that isn't inherently romantic or sexual in nature is less important, and that's just how it is.

so yeah, that's kind of a pet peeve, ngl. especially since the truth is I actually do think Bakugou and Deku's relationship is very akin to siblings. and so I do sometimes get weary of not being able to just outright say that without having to first pepper the statement with all kinds of disclaimers so that people don't think I'm invalidating the ship. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells if I ever want to talk about their relationship in terms that I can personally relate to.

but I mean, here's how I look at it. they've known each other since they were small children. they call each other exclusively (or almost exclusively) by childhood nicknames. they have an openness and an unspoken, almost taken-for-granted trust in each other to the point where they'll share closely guarded secrets ("I got my quirk from someone else") and personal vulnerabilities ("why was I the one who ended All Might?") with barely a second's hesitation which they would never share with anyone else. they have a comfortable little bickering type of rapport ("I'm getting stronger"; "well I'll just have to get even stronger then"; "you'll never surpass me"; "we'll see about that") which they can fall into with ease and which looks weird af to outsiders, but is "normal" to them and something they're both grateful to have.

they're so intimately familiar with each other's personality and behaviors that they can predict them with perfect accuracy. they're so in tune with each other that they can whip up elaborate coordinated attacks right on the spot in perfect sync. their admiration for each other is so strong that they each think of the other as being the epitome of winning and saving, respectively. their mental images of each other are so vivid that they subconsciously mimic each other's speech patterns whenever they start falling into a particularly strong Win or Save mindset themselves. they take no small amount of pride in showing off for each other. they go apeshit any time the other is in danger or hurt. and each of them would literally die for the other if it ever came to that.

all of that is already canon. on just about every metric imaginable except for "now kiss", the two of them already have a canon intimacy that rivals just about every other great relationship out there. and so to say that none of it actually counts unless there's an actual love confession involved frankly just boggles me. again, maybe it's because I have no personal vested interest in romance myself, though. I'm literally just not wired that way, and so I'm really not the best person to vent to when it comes to these kinds of concerns.

but look, no matter what happens from here on out, these two care about each other on a very deep and personal level. they're going to continue to be a part of each other's lives no matter what. and each of them, no matter what, will continue to occupy a space in each other's lives that no other person can fill, regardless of how we or Horikoshi or anyone else choose to label and define that space. and so in my book, that's already a win.

anyways, apologies again for the impromptu rant. again, this wasn't particularly directed at you in any way; if anything it's mostly just a generic response to the constant shipping discourse in this and every other fandom, and a more detailed explanation for why I personally don't like to get involved in it. this is just one of the myriad reasons why I try my best to stay very far away from BnHA twitter lol.

[ungracefulace]

Ngl, I feel so bad for exclusionist aces and aros and those questioning. Like, lets take a break and imagine thinking ones asexuality or aromanticism isnt inherently LGBT+ for whatever reason. And so you make a exclus blog or follow them because you agree with what they say. You interact and join exclusionist discords and whatnot and you have a whole subsection of internet friends bonded with you over your discourse opinion. And you get these allo exclus giving you a pat on the back for being a "good" aspec and you're comforted by the whole "valid but not LGBT" line.

But, youre still ace or aro. And you have 2 choices for how you can handle that. You can only vaguely address your identity in posts that tokenize yourself "I'm ace/aro and I think inclus are awful" or responding to posts like "well I'm ace and you dont support ME !!!" And if you choose this method you see that exxlusionists think youre great and dont bother you about being ace or aro, and because you are aspec and youre supported by exclusionists, exclusionists support aces and aros.

But the other option is you show ace and aro pride, and you actually talk about ace and aro issues. Then every time you reblog pride art with an aro or ace flag you get the people you're friends with and your followers sending messages about why that flag was there and if youre an inclus now. If you dont preface or end you aspec post with "but we arent LGBT!!" then people will add it or ask about it for you, even if its just "aces have problems too". You get mocked if you say anything criticizing the exclus community and how they talk about aces, or straight up ignored even though you still completely and totally agree that aces arent LGBT. Then you realize that this whole subsection of internet friends that youve grown close to are only actually accepting of your identity if you ignore it or if you downplay any negative experiences youve had being ace or aro (unless you are using it to say how you still arent LGBT). And you dont want to be an inclusionist, because you still dont think you are LGBT by virtue of being aspec.

Thats just a really shitty situation and it goes double for those who are questioning since if they show any hint of "am I ace??" Theyre friends are quick with the "not wanting to fuck isnt an orientation" or something similar. Exclusionist blogs are literally fueled by hatred and dismissal of aces and aros, from everything to our experiences to our entire orientation depending on the blogger. And as an ex exclus I know what an awful environment that is if youre ace, aro, or decent. Theres a reason that a lot of ace and aro exclusionists have been turning away from discourse after failed attempts at getting their community to see that theyre being shitty. And it sucks that a lot of these people have also had shitty experiences with inclusionists so they dont want to talk to us either. But I do hope they learn some self love and stop accepting this because for whatever reason they're cool with it.