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nicxl333 · 9 months

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NSFW ALPHABET— ITOSHI SAE

depending on how this does i’ll continue this as a blue lock series :)

this is based on my opinion and also egoist bible facts about sae (hopefully it’s accurate enough)

A= Aftercare (what they're like after the act)

even though he may not seem like it, sae is very soft when it comes to you. your legs are aching? best believe he'll massage them. his first instinct would be to draw a bath for the both of you, cleaning you up so you don't have to do so much as lifting a finger. after all, it was him who put you in this state. after you're both clean he'd put you to bed, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into his chest where you both eventually fall asleep.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

on himself, probably his thighs. they are impressively toned and a perfect spot for you to hold onto when pleasing him so it's only natural that he takes pride in them. on you? ass. (canon) in his opinion, there's no ass that compares to yours and he'll quite literally do anything in his power to see it move. if you wear booty shorts around the house best believe he's grabbing it. he also definitely has a hidden folder on his phone filled with ass pics from you for when he's abroad for football.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

if you guys are doing it in doggy, he'll take the opportunity to cum on your ass. either that or inside you. he likes the risk, even though you're on birth control.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

he got wound up post game one day and took it upon himself to fuck his fist to the thought of you. specifically you last week being fucked by him in a state of overstimulation after he'd already made you cum twice on his fingers alone. that isn't the thing that makes this a secret he'll never share however. once he'd cum sticky ropes into his hand he reached for his phone and snapped a picture to send to you. but, in his post orgasmic state he misclicked and sent the photo to the one person he tended to avoid the most: shidou ryusei

sure, he could've deleted it and avoided the most embarrassing moment of his life, but, with shidou being the most desperate male he's ever seen of course he'd view it immediately, given the fact that sae never contacts him.

long story short shidou sent a surprise of his own and sae in a state of absolute rage made him swear to secrecy if he valued living.

E= Experience (do they know what they're doing)

sae doesn't know anything apart from soccer, so it's safe to say that he was clueless about anything sex related. doesn't mean he didn't learn though. you were also each other's first.

nowadays it's questionable if you were really his first and only lover the way he fucks you with such expertise.

F= Favorite position

anything where he can see your ass clapping with each snap of his hips. doggy style, reverse cowgirl, leap frog, the snake. he's not very particulate on just one.

however, if he's making love to you, it needs to be in missionary. he wants you to know just how much he loves you with each roll of his hips into you. it's also a way for him to feed off your reactions in such an intimate setting.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

this is sae itoshi we're talking about. i can guarantee you whenever you fuck it will be a serious moment. that doesn't mean he won't tease you every once in a while though to stroke his ego. he is a massive egoist after all.

expect lines such as "you're about to cum again? i'm not even halfway through with you and you're already crumbling." or "stop holding back. just let me make you cum, it's not like you can do it on your own anyways. need me to do everything for you.”

H= Hair (grooming habits)

sae is the type of guy to stay well groomed. be it shaved completely or short wisps of hair that re uniformly trimmed.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/ dirty)

he is away a lot, given the fact he's an internationally famous soccer player, so he most likely doesn't have enough time to always ensure the most romantic settings for you, resulting in many heated quickies. when the football season is over however and he has a lot of free time on his hands, expect lots of beautifully expensive dates which almost always end up in passionate sessions of love making.

he may not always show it, but sae really does love you so much, more than you can ever imagine, and the best way of showing it in his eyes is giving you endless pleasure so you can fully feel the effects of his love (mentally and physically if you catch my drift).

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

you have him constantly hard on the regular, whether you're with him or not (not that he'd ever let you know the power you hold over him) and he finds his hand wrapped around his dick more often than not. before practice, during practice games, when you're with him. just the mere thought of you is enough for him to spring a massive boner that has to be dealt with at least once every two days. other days he'll either pray that no one sees or take a cold shower.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

dumbification. easily top of the board. he likes to see you completely lose yourself on his dick, fucked into total submission, to which he'd respond with a snarky comment.

"have i fucked you stupid? going dumb on my cock huh? i think you can take one more, can you do that for me? yeah?"

dacryphillia (in the good sense). he likes to see tears prick at the corner of your eyes due to how good he is fucking you. he'll reach down and wipe your tears away

"is it too much huh? don't worry baby it's okay i’ve got you"

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

as horny as sae gets he does have some form of rationality. given the fact he's bombarded by paparazzi a lot he wouldn't like to risk the both of you being next day headliners across the globe for something so unsavoury in their eyes.

he would fuck you most likely in the comfort of your shared condo or the safety of your hotel room if you have decided to travel with him.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/ turn ons)

it's you. you don't have to do a lot to turn this man on, just your sweet voice is enough or your bright smile.

if he had to choose however, probably seeing your ass in a nice pair of shorts. specifically if you’re bent over cleaning or picking something up, to the point where he can see your ass peaking out.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won't do)

threesomes. he is way too possessive (in a good way) and full of love for you that he'd refuse to see anyone other than himself please you. he believes he's more than capable of doing that himself.

bring it up to him one day and he will shut it down immediately, no fucks given.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

definitely giving, although he wouldn't say he doesn't enjoy being on the receiving end every once in a while, particularly after a stressful day.

this guy is the absolute king at eating pussy, sucking on your clit while fingering you with curled fingers to hit your g-spot with each stroke. it's something about seeing you in total ecstasy because of him that really feeds into his ego.

P= Pace (how fast they are)

if you guys are fucking, hard and fast. he knows all the spots that make you scream so he's pretty skilled at bringing you to a quick earth shattering orgasm every time.

if you're making love, slow and deep. he wants you to feel every inch and every vein of him. he particularly enjoys the sweet whines you let out in his ear when he hits it just right.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

like said earlier, he doesn't always have a lot of free time to spend with you so always expect a quickie if he's only there for a day or so. it would be wrong to say he prefers it however because if he did have the time, he would spend it pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

as long as they're reasonable. if he doesn't feel comfortable or confident with it he'll make it known to you. he is open to some suggestions though. particularly degradation if you’re up for it.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

bffr. for starters he's a literal football player. this man spends almost every day of his career running up and down a massive pitch for a minimum of 90 minutes. best believe his stamina is absolutely god tier.

if he does have the time for it, expect 3-4 rounds of him going absolutely ham on you.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

funny story. the first time he walked in on you using a vibrator on yourself he demanded the name of where you got it from, then finished you off with the toy, then himself straight after. it was the first time he got you to squirt.

the next time you saw him he had a box full of sex toys for him to test out on you. it was a long, pleasurable night.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

he does enjoy opportunities given to make you beg for his dick. methods such as pulling out once he feels the signals of your orgasm coming, letting the heat inside you die down before he fucks into you again and repeats the process once more.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

nah. he's pretty quiet as it is so expect small grunts in your ear, or slight panting from exertion. don’t get him wrong though, he will tease the shit out of you if necessary. you on the other hand, are very loud, which he relishes in. your sweet sounds are a need for him in order to cum.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

as much as he hates threesomes i think he'd want to fuck you in front of shidou. not to the point where he can see your body, but so much so that he knows what's going on.

eg: you're sitting on his lap, wearing a skirt, where his dick can easily access your tight cunt. he'd probably engage in some conversation while he bounces you in his lap so he can show shidou just who you belong to.

X= X-ray (what's down below in dem pants)

easy. he's big in both sectors. he's very girthy, meaning you're stuffed to the brim each time he takes you. equally he's got a decent length, 7.2 inches, slightly curved to the right. the tip is quite an angry shade of pink while the rest of his dick is pinkish light brown. (#ca9f94 for reference) he deffo has a big vein running underneath which you do well to lick at every time you give him head, and his tip is definitely extremely sensitive.

lick the hole of his tip and he's cumming instantaneously.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

due to extended periods of time away from each other his sexdrive is on an all time high. when he's with you it's gotta be at least once a day y'all go at it.

don't think yours isn't just as high though, he can barely walk through the front door before you're pawing at his clothes in desperation to take them off.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

he's an athlete, it's mandatory that he gets some form of rest. he most likely falls asleep with you or just after you, softly stroking your hair or caressing your waist gently, before giving you a peck to the forehead and drifting off.

#anime #blue lock #sae x reader smut #sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #sae #itoshi smut #blue lock sae itoshi #itoshi sae #itoshi brothers #bluelock smut #nicxl333writes #nicxl333

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sweettoothvn · 1 year

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Eddie nsfw alphabet when- HE GOT ME BY THE THROAT-

I'm glad you enjoy him~! NSFW UNDER THE CUT

A = Aftercare

He's not a big fan of physical touch but when it comes to his S/O he doesn't mind. If you need to cuddle or be held he won't question it and grab hold of you. If you're crying he'll just hold you silently, rubbing circles into your back. Once you're calm he'll ask you a few questions about what you need and what you want to talk about. If you need reassurance or compliments he'll provide

B = Body part

He loves attacking his partner's neck mostly. He's also sensitive around the coccyx (above the butt). The nape of his neck is sensitive too. He would prefer you didn't touch his back due to his scars but if you're gentle he'll allow it. Do not scratch his back he will get so pissed off. Don't even try to tease him with that, its genuinely not a good idea.

C = Cum

He's not big on handling cum, its a sensory thing for him. If he's giving head, he will spit it out. Not a big fan of the taste.

D = Dirty secret

Secretly wants to be dominated when his partner is in a pissed off mood.

E = Experience

He's had sex a few times but he's not too knowledgeable about it. He just knows how to properly communicate with his partner- he definitely knows where the clitoris is dont worry.

F = Favorite position

"Leap Frog". He's an 'ass' guy so if he can get a good grip that'll make him happy.

G = Goofy

In general he's not a very goofy person, more on the serious side. However during intimate moments he lets loose and becomes entirely vulnerable. If there are slip ups or mistakes he won't hesitate to laugh it off or share a giggle with you.

H = Hair

His hair is generally a mess- good luck trying to run your fingers through that. Now down there he's well groomed, however he does have some hair above the crotch and below the belly button.

I = Intimacy

At the beginning he can pretty awkward as he's not one that's good with romance. He doesn't really know what to do so you're going to need to guide him through that. Later on in the relationship he gets more comfortable and whispers compliments and what he loves about you. He loves playing with your hair too.

J = Jack off

He doesn't like being entirely naked when jacking off (including sex) so he keeps his shirt on. Usually he whispers dirty talk to himself, trying to get in the moment. If you catch him masturbating don't mention the dirty talk unless you want him horribly embarrassed and avoiding you for hours.

K = Kink

He likes degrading his partner and he's also a bit of a masochist. He's not big into biting but if you want him to do that he will. He's more into causing bruises and a bit of knife play. He also likes choking his partner if they're into that. He's into a bit of exhibitionism too. Ah, let's not forget some good old orgasm denial and over stim.

L = Location

Bedroom is preferable for him. But he wouldn't mind doing it in the living room if you guys are watching a movie... just be prepared for him to quote the movie if it's Indiana Jones that you're watching.

M = Motivation

Typically if you tease him or slightly piss him off that will get him going. If you blow on the back of his neck that might get him flustered too. He will not admit that he likes it when you pull his hair.

N = No

Don't scratch his back, don't bite him, no degradation on him, do not try to be sadistic towards him he will hurt you back, no scat, no watersports, no vomit, general stuff like that, food play is a no, no ageplay, no master/servant

O = Oral

He would prefer to receive oral than give it but he doesn't mind that much when giving it.

P = Pace

He's definitely someone who goes fast and rough, he will not slow down and let you catch your breath until he's finished. Or until you've said the safe word obviously.

Q = Quickie

He loves quickies, usually if it's him having you against a wall or you giving him head.

R = Risk

He loves taking risks and experimenting so don't be afraid to ask him to try something out, so long as it's not him being hurt or any of his "No's". If you really want to do something that he doesn't want to, he wouldn't mind if you sought out a sexual partner to fulfill that fantasy. He would like to meet that person though and make sure you're with someone nice at least.

S = Stamina

He has a pretty good stamina. Blame the rock climbing you guess. But he can last a good 6 rounds before becoming absolutely exhausted. Keep the pelvic floor strong yknow?

T = Toys

The only toys he might own would be flesh lights or those vibrators you wear in public.

U = Unfair

He's a big tease. If you're trying to work or do something but he's in the mood, he'll come up from behind and whisper what he wants to do to you. Then walk away and return to his normal routine like nothing happened.

V = Volume

He tries to keep quiet as best he can, a few grunts or groans might leave him but nothing loud. Now if you're giving him head he'll be whimpering and moaning from that.

W = Wild card

Definitely has fantasies/wet dreams of him and/or his partner getting fucked by tentacles or monsters.

X = X-ray

Burn scars across his back, few moles across his whole body and additional scars from his recklessness

Y = Yearning

Pretty average really. If his partner is really horny he wouldn't mind having sex every day though.

Z = Zzz

Generally he struggles to fall asleep but after sex he's out like a light. Really helps with the semi-insomnia-

#sweet tooth vn #special icing asks

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sundaynightslive · 7 months

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NSFW ALPHABET | Nash Morningstar Edition

A/N: I really don't care enough to say this on my main because I know no one is really going to see it either way. I'm being really lazy with how often I write because of the lack of audience but honestly I think I'll try to find more ways to bring people in. I really do like writing but like having no reason to do it kinda sucks. Everyone has something going on and I'm sick of it so I just need a refresh on who's coming into this little community

Also I'm going to say that the reader is someone Nash actually likes (has literally never happened /j)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Nash has always been a touchy person, so it's not surprising that he would want to be holding you after sex. If you do want to talk, the most he'll really do is communicate in hums and lazy nods (they're only so lazy because he doesn't have room, your head is nuzzled into his neck). He doesn't care enough to immediately clean up after sex either so you're stuck with (and to) him. He'll just close his eyes and lightly snore. It's more like a low purring sound, but if you were to bring it up to him, the snoring might just be more acceptable. He's not really sleeping either because if he feels his hands are slipping, he'll quickly reposition them. That and the fact that if you move, he'll be quick to open one of his eyes. Nothing's really going on in his head either, he's just enjoying the proximity between you two before one of his coworkers overrides his Do Not Disturb and tells him to get up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Nash loves his arms. Everyone can tell that he loves his arms. Every time he sees a mirror, he flexes. Even if the mirror isn't that big, he'll move himself so he can see his biceps. Don't get it twisted though, he doesn't skip leg day either.

Nash loves his partner's neck. He can bite it, grab it, use it to hid his face, that's really all there is to say about that, it's really multipurposeful.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His cum is a lot closer to white than clear, it's on the thicker side, and he cums A LOT. Most of the time it's just a steady stream but sometimes if he cums quicker than usual, then it comes out in spurts and it takes a while for all of it to come out.

He'll cum wherever his partner wants him to, but he prefers to cum inside them just because he'll be too lazy to clean the mess off of them later. Plus, he has some questionable pull out game (on purpose. You're warm, and he's greedy. That doesn't mix well).

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Nash doesn't hide anything from you. If he wants to do something, he'll tell you straight up, and he'll be proud of it too.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very. Every Lord at Hireath jokes about him having every sexually transmitted disease known to man (or demon). If you tell him about a kink that you wanted to test out, I'm sure he's already tried it and knows everything about it. However, I will say that he fucks around a lot less recently than he did in his younger years. It's most likely because he's coming to terms with the fact that he actually has to get work done.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has a few:

Missionary: Call him basic, but he likes how intimate it is and how he can clearly see your facial expressions and how you look at him.

Doggy Style/Leap Frog: Had to balance out the missionary somehow /j. No but really he is still a whore at heart and he'll take any opportunity he can to give backshots (just throwing a bit of temperature play in there, he may or may not use the air in the room to mess with you. Making it all cold hand having it run down your spine for a few seconds)

Standing up: This might just be because of how much he enjoys semi-public sex; this is often how you guys end up doing it. He enjoys the feeling of your arms and legs holding onto him for dear life. For some reason, it makes him feel really useful, and if something boosts his pride, he likes it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It really just depends on how he feels. He's fine with being serious, and he's also fine with being very playful. Just don't try to change the vibe because he will not be able to collect himself and he will embarrass your dumbass.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He isn't annoyingly hairy but there is some hair down there. Even though he does have a bit going on, its still pretty well kept. Also the carpet does match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He's not the type of person to express his love in words very often, and that does apply here. If you've come to realize that him being that close to you and even him choosing to be serious is his way of showing love, so it is a very intimate moment for the two of you most of the time.

He doesn't go out of his way to be romantic in terms of presentation unless he feels like you care about that stuff. Then every once in a while he does some generic romantic shit before you two get down.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

A decent bit?? Without you he jerks off around 4 times a week, and the only thing stopping him from doing it everyday is work. He doesn't really feel the urge to jerk off if you're around, but if he feels like he really shouldn't bother you, then he absolutely will go jerk off, so I feel like it changes to once or twice a week when you're around.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Marking, overstim, begging, praise, edging, and degradation are the ones that get brought up the most, but he probably likes whatever you like as well

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He'll be fine with doing it anywhere that wouldn't have terrible consequences, so he has a lot of places to choose from. In moments like these, you have to remember that Nash is still a questionable being, because I'd say that some of his favorite places to get down are probably in one of the other Sin's offices. The risk factor is there, and honestly he gets off on missing all their stuff up sometimes soooo...

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

IT HAPPENS OUT OF NOWHERE. There is not one specific thing that will get him going every time. Even you trying to get him motivated doesn't usually work as well as you would expect it to because it feels too easy for him.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that would really hurt either of you. Some pain is fine to him but he gets beat up enough at work already, there's no need to bring it there. If you're a masochist, he can indulge in that a bit but he doesn't want to cause too much harm or else he'll feel guilty.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Let me quote something I said a while ago.

"Nash knows that it's cold. He loves it. In fact, he'll stick his tongue out before eating pussy, dry some of the moisture off of his tongue with his powers (remember, he's the element of air) just to make it way colder. He likes to see the way you shiver when he runs his tongue along your body. And he'll have the nerve to ask you to stay still while he does it. Not like he doesn't have his arms wrapped around your thighs to hold you down anyway" -Rye, 2023

Even if you don't have a pussy, it really doesn't change anything because he will fuck around and you will find out. This is just a very specific version of it

Anyway, Nash prefers receiving, he just thinks that it puts his partner below him (in both ways) and it really just boosts his ego. Most of the time he'd be doing something while you suck him off anyway, making you feel extra useless for not being able to snap him out of it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the day, but most of the time he's going to be fast and rough, often changing positions in the middle of it. By the end of it, he'll have you confused and maybe even dizzy because how did you even end up like that? But there are those rare times where he goes extremely slow. And when I mean slow, I mean he's barely moving because all he really wants to do is hold you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Get used to quickies because half of the time if you're having sex, that's what it is. He's busy and finding a long time to do it if he isn't on break because of his heat is damn near impossible. He doesn't hate them either, he just wishes that he could spend more time with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Anything that probably won't kill you? If the answer is yes, he's down.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

There is no need for this to even be said. It's almost as if he never gets tired. I can't even say how many rounds he can go for because it's not based on how much he can take, but how much time he has. He lasts a little bit longer than most guys but it's nothing too impressive.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He rarely ever uses toys on himself, and if he does it's like a fleshlight or a vibrator, nothing crazy. He won't use them on his partner unless they ask him to. If they ask him to, he's not the type to be offended at all so he's in the green here.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you think Nash wouldn't tease you, there has to be something wrong with your brain chemistry. He teases you without even noticing because it comes so naturally to him. And like I said, he has a thing for begging so he'll try his best to get you to do that, and if that involves teasing, then so be it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He doesn't make much noise at all. It's like he makes you scream to make up for his lack of volume. If anything, he's just whispering to you and letting out low groans and a few whines.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Even after his coworkers ignore his DND, he still takes his sweet time to get out of the house. Like he'll be walking around wearing just his boxers, eating a bowl a cereal, complaining. Like MOVE.

Also he will ask you to aim for him. He's joking but he'll be amused if you actually do.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His dick can shapeshift just like the rest of him, but let's say he's 8'10 like usual. He's pretty thick too, but reasonably so. I'd say he'd be a solid 9.7 inches with a few visible veins running down to the tip. He's circumcised, the tips pink-ish and the shaft is slightly darker than his normal skin tone. Also, he's a shower not a grower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

On a scale of 1-10, one being rarely having a sex drive, and 10 being constantly horny, he's always around 7.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't usually feel the need to fall asleep after sex unless it was after a mission. So most of the time he waits for you to fall asleep before he actually falls asleep, or he doesn't sleep at all.

#oc: Nash Morningstar #ocs

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darthmaulification · 3 years

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boba fett NSFW alphabet

A/N: boba fett is just... *chef’s kiss* 😍😍 i want to hug and smooch him on the lips and have him absolutely rail me 🥴🥴

this is for post-sarlacc/mandalorian boba fett as well, and does primarily assume fem/afab!reader.

nsfw under the cut!!😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Boba’s positively soft after sex. He takes care of you so so well, especially after particularly rough rounds, and will make sure you’re safe, warm, and comfortable. This usually means he cleans you up, either by running you a bath or wiping you down with a damp cloth, and massaging away any aches you may have obtained. Boba is also uncharacteristically talkative while he tends to your needs, and it’s all praise like “You did so well, cyare” and “Such a good girl” alongside clarifying questions like “Do you feel sore anywhere?” and “Would you like me to run a bath?”. Boba makes sure you are completely taken care of.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Boba doesn’t have a favorite part of your body, because he’s easily able to mark it all up and he’s never been one to pick favorites, but I suppose he’s like any other man and does enjoy your... feminine curves, so to speak. He particularly likes your hips, ass, and thighs, if not only that he’s able to spank them, nibble on them, grab onto them while he’s fucking you silly... it’s also because he loves watching them sway as you walk. There’s a certain perfect sashay mixed with a slight jerk in your gait that Boba loves to watch, how your thighs ripple slightly with each step, how your ass does the same, and how those perfect hips of your rock side to side... Yeah... there’s something perfect there.

If Boba had to chose a favorite part of his body and not say “The whole damn thing!”, he’d pick his arms and hands. They’re what he does everything with, how he handles his blasters and jet pack, how he handles fighting, how he handles you, etc etc. Boba’s hands and arms are where every skill of his is practiced and carried out, the limbs that can do anything. He finds a slight pride in that. Also, Boba knows you also enjoy his arms, so he finds it very amusing to flex for you every once in a while to get you blushing.

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Boba Fett cums a lot, and he makes sure all of it ends up inside you. He finds it incredibly satisfying to dominate you in such a way, being able to paint your insides white, to claim you and your pussy as his. Boba also has a slight breeding kink, so he makes sure none of his cum goes to waste, sometimes pushing it back into you when it leaks out.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

Boba will probably never tell you this explicitly, most likely you will pick up on it with every breadcrumb he leaves, but Boba loves you so fucking much. He has so so much love for you it makes his heart bleed with the intensity. He’s never loved someone with all his being before, never cared this hard in his life. Boba may not even be able admit it to himself, love is a word that has brought him so much pain. But he loves you, he loves you, he loves you... Cyare, mesh’la, ni kar'tayl gar darasuum...

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Very experienced. Boba has had many many sexual partners over his lifetime, so he knows exactly what he’s doing and his way around your body. Having the “tall, dark, and handsome” allure as a bounty hunter really helped him with this.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

Boba has a couple positions he usually defaults to, all of which he enjoys. They are:

Leap frog. This is a close one for being his favorite position. Boba likes to keep you beneath him, for control, and when your flat on your chest, arms either trapped under your body or above your head, hips hitched up just enough to allow him access... well, that gives him all the control he could dream of. When you’re like this, Boba fucks the life out of you, draping over you to kiss your back and neck all while one hand is nestled around the front to toy with your clit. He also loves how desperate for more friction you get with this one.

Doggy style. He likes the control this position gives him, how he’s able to command you into it, set the pace, decide when you are allowed to come undone. Boba also likes being able to grab your hips and knead your ass as he rails you, leaving fingerprint bruises on your skin. He also likes spanking you and pulling at your hair. He also keeps a couple firm, large fingers against your clit, rolling that sensitive bud between them.

Missionary. Boba enjoys basic missionary because A) you’re smooshed under him, B) it gives him the ability to kiss you as he pounds into you, and C) he’s able to be versatile. He also likes how personal and intimate missionary is, being able to see your face and watch your facial expressions as you orgasm for him again and again. Boba also gives your breasts a lot of attention when he’s got this perfect access to them, kneading them and pinching and tweaking your nipples.

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Boba is 100% about making sure that you are receiving the pleasure you deserve. He is giving you everything he’s got during sex, so there’s no room for being silly. The most “goofiness” that he partakes in is lots of teasing and dirty talk, which isn’t all that goofy to begin with, just as serious and commanding as he is.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Boba is a functionalist, so he’s pretty well groomed below the belt. Of course, of what he has left to groom. The Sarlacc pit’s acid wiped out pretty much all his body hair, including his happy trail and about a quarter of his tuft (Boba genuinely thanks the Maker every day his penis remained untouched), so there’s only a little bit to take care of.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Boba is intimate in a very domineering, overpowering way. He gets you so close to the edge so quickly, so torturously that there’s nothing but this overwhelming closeness that occurs, this performance of worship. His hands and mouth on your body, his voice in your ear, it’s like you become one, when he’s steady above you, your bodies interlocked, fingers laced in your hair, tugging gently. It will feel like Boba pushes you to the limit, that the intensity is like a thousands stars burning over you at once. Boba’s presence is like that.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

When he was a younger, more spry, more sexually unruly man? Yes. Everyday, probably. Now when he’s older, has more self-control, and you by his side? Not so much. Rarely ever, to be honest. the only times he finds himself with the itch to yank it would be if he’s been gone from you for a while or if it’s a mutual masturbation type of situation.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Boba is such a fucking sexual deviant and kinky bastard it’s no wonder he decided to be a bounty hunter, because only a bounty hunter would act up the way Boba does. He has quite a few kinks, but here are the main ones:

Daddy kink. Boba is the physical manifestation of the “Your daughter calls me daddy too” meme. He derives such a smug pleasure from you calling him Daddy. He also likes it for the position of authority it is.

Dom/sub dynamic. Boba is a bonifide top/dom and nothing is changing that. He’s the one in charge, who makes the rules and breaks the rules, and he isn’t relinquishing that anytime soon. Boba thrives in that position of power, and loves having you a submissive, moaning mess beneath him. If you are naturally a quieter, maybe introverted person, Boba would go near rabid because that softness is just what he’s looking for. If you’re dominate like him, he sees that as a challenge... Prepare to be dominated.

Praise/degradation kink. He really just loves to hear himself talk, huh? This man is constant, non-stop dirty talk during sex and he’ll be saying downright delicious things to you. He’ll be giving you all the pet names in the book, “cyar’ika”, “pretty girl”, “mesh’la”, etc etc. Every time you react the way he wants to, or you pleasantly surprise him with your response to him, you’ll be rewarded with utmost praise. He’ll coo to you about how well you’re taking his cock, how perfect your body is, how good your wet pussy tastes... everything. Boba also likes balancing the good with the bad, so he may use a bit of degradation, usually in the form of backhanded compliments or ruder nicknames. However, if you don’t like degradation, he will simply avoid it, easy said and done.

Innocence kink/virgin kink. Woo hoo boy... Boba loves if you are or act all shy and bashful with him in the bedroom. It really goes hand in hand with his dominate role, you being a submissive, blushing mess while he’s all big and intimidating (not in a fear way). He likes being the one to corrupt you by marking your body all up with love bites and small bruises, making your tight pussy his as he rails you. If you tell him you’re a virgin the first time y’all have sex, Boba might go feral.

Breeding kink. Before meeting you, Boba didn’t really have this kink. His younger years were spent angry and vengeful and full of sex that was meaningless at the end of the day. But after the Sarlacc, and snagging the Palace from Bib Fortuna, and meeting you, Boba kinda starts getting an inkling of wanting a little something extra... or a little someone extra. He starts genuinely contemplating and liking the idea of having kids, and it partly manifests in his dirty talk where he’ll say stuff like “Gonna let me fill you up?” and “Got to keep your pussy full. Womb too”. Boba likes the idea of you mothering his children.

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

Boba’s favorite place to positively ravish you is anywhere that he has full control over the safety of the room. So this usually applies to the bedroom, where Boba has set up so many security measures that no one is getting in, but also to more public places. When Boba was younger, he was much much more into exhibitionism and would’ve been down to fuck like... in front of a crowd, to be honest. But he’s older now (and wiser too) so he values the concepts of safety and security, much unlike his past self. So while Boba may still fuck you in an alley or in the throne room, he makes sure that literally no one is around. He does this less out of the potential embarrassment, but more so because he knows he has a huge target on his back.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

If you start being a little tease, or show him a bit of sass and being overall more mouthy, his pants are definitely getting a bit tight around the crotch region. Boba loves it when and if you try to talk back to him or if you get all snarky.

On the opposite hand, Boba also loves it if you’re easily flustered, all pink-faced and bashful at something he says. He really finds a smidgen of shyness to be really, really enticing. It strokes his massive Dom Complex.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Boba has a few hard turn offs that he would never do, full stop. They’re age play/regression, consensual non-con/rape play, and extreme sadism. While he does have a daddy kink, it’s really only for the name and position of power, not the age factor (so he’s not into DDLG). And despite Boba being a big ol’ bastard, it’s never sat with him well to play the role of “rapist” during sex. Also, Boba likes a bit of punishment and being rough ‘n tough with you, but he has a limit of how far he’d go. He never wants to actually hurt hurt you. Even if you’re a full masochist and you asked him to do it, said it’s okay and everything, Boba would still never harm you and would probably get fully turned off.

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

He doesn’t really have a preference, because he’ll go down on you and if you give him head, he’s all game, but fuck, does Boba like going down on you. He gets an immense amount of satisfaction from making you cum using only his mouth, having you completely undone and writhing just from his face between your legs. He also really loves your pussy??? Like it’s so perfect to him, the aroma, the taste, the slick, wet feel, the way it clenches and quivers around his tongue, etc etc??? Boba loves it.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

Boba fucks hard and rough and slow and with a purpose. He wants to give you (and himself, of course) as much pleasure as possible for as long as possible. He paces himself very well, the master of self-control he is, and he will have you orgasming and edging for ages before he finally dicks you down. Boba finds great pleasure in having you cockdumb by the end of it.

Sometimes though, Boba gives you that same purpose in a slightly different way. he still fucks you good, but he’ll be a bit more sensual, a bit more gentle. Often, it’s because you ask to love make, but occasionally it’s because Boba really really wants you to know just how much you mean to him.

PDA is very very lowkey and subtle with Boba. This is mostly because he and you know that if your relationship, especially with how deep it is, were to become too much of common knowledge, someone is bound to use it against you, specifically to get back at Boba. So, Boba doesn’t often even have a hand on you in public, or show any outward affection. What he does do though, is stand close to you or have you close at his side. He keeps you in his line of sight always, and it’s become a sort of dance you to have. Boba and you orbit each other in a way, never growing too distant nor too close. Though, its perfect for you.

However, if someone starts making moves on you, Boba may physically step in, cutting whoever it is off from you. He’ll make sure they know that your off limits, untouchable. Usually, this also brings the gentlest yet firmest of hands to your lower back.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Yes. Just yes. Boba loves quickies. He might be addicted to them. It’s a mix of he is always Ready To Fuck and he just finds you so damn desirable and beautiful. Though he will always prefer having you for a few hours opposed to a rushed ten minutes. But don’t think he does any less of a good job.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

In his younger years, this would’ve been a hard, enthusiastic “yes”, but nowadays Boba won’t really actively experiment. If you have something you want to try, odds are he’ll go along with it, but he won’t ever bring up something new. He’s very content with his abilities, that are admittedly very very successful.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

Boba can last a long while, considering his age. He’s got years of experience and a whole lot of self-control under his belt, so he’s able to work you for at least a couple hours before he starts feeling it. He’ll having you cumming over and over again, working you with his mouth, hands, and cock. Boba also is very good at pacing and has this uncanny ability to restrain himself in a way that the pleasure for him doesn’t build up unless he allows it to. So don’t expect him to cum, even in light of your best efforts.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Again, used to when he was younger. But now he doesn’t because he knows he’s too damn good with his hands, mouth, and...y’know... to need any toys. Though, if you have any toys or you ask him to try one out, he’ll humor you and oblige. But he’ll tease you about it a ton, saying stuff like “Ah, but don’t you want my mouth instead?” or “I bet you’re missing my cock”. Boba will always make sure that you know he’s better than any toy that you’d introduce.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

Boba is such a smug shit. He teases so much and is so unfair that it borders on being cruel and he enjoys it, the fucking guy. If you’re into that, he’ll get you begging and in tears before he lets up and gives you what you want (read: need). But if you’re not into it, he has a base, “normal” level of tease, but he’d never take it too far. If he does push it too far, he’ll make it up to you however you want him to, because the last thing he wants is you too upset because of him.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Boba spends most his time during sex teasing the life out of you so he is vocal in that respect. He talks the talk, saying stuff like “You take my cock so well, little girl” and “Use your words, mesh’la, tell me what you want”. His constant dirty talk is sometimes broken up by growls from the back of his throat, heavy grunting and groaning, and the occasional low moan— all from the slick, hot heat that is you.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

Boba struggles with pain sometimes, the aches left behind from the wounds he received from the Sarlacc pit. It usually flares up if he’s stressed or been overworking himself, making his skin feel tight, like there’s a constant pull in all directions. He also gets pain from age and overuse of his joints. Often, it’s only his knees and ankles that act up, but sometimes he gets it in his back and wrists. And though he never says anything about it, and never asks you for anything, he really does appreciate it if you take the time to give him a massage or run him a warm bath, despite how grumpy he gets when you do.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Boba is built like a fucking tank, an absolute hunk of a man. From a life of training, bounty hunting, fighting, etc etc, Boba has a body type akin to a powerlifter, he never built muscle for show, only functionality. He’s all broad-shoulders, stocky, and thick muscles. Unlike the beauty standard, Boba doesn’t have the ever-desired six pack abs or pinched waist, he has a hefty barrel torso and a slight, squishy tummy. His arms and legs are equally, if not more, strong and muscled like the rest of him, and Boba is very easily able to lift you up whenever.

Now, of course, Boba is very heavily scarred. He has scars of varying sizes, shapes, and ages, some being that shiny white while others are still pinkish, all over his body from bounty hunting and getting into tiffs. The Sarlacc also completed ravaged his bronze skin, leaving this impressive and tight web of scar tissue near everywhere on his body, though it’s most heavily condensed on his left side.

NOW HIS PENIS. Boba has a Nice Cock on him, that’s for damn sure. He’s not exceedingly big, but he is girthy. And weighty. Boba’s penis is 6 inches (15.25 cm) in length and just under 2.5 inches (6.35 cm) in diameter. He is uncut, and a prominent vein runs on the bell end of his cock. His balls are also very impressive and are fairly heavy.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High. Astronomical. Boba suffers from Horny Derangement Syndrome™. You touch his shoulder as you pass by him? His cock is hard. You give him a kiss out of the blue “just because”? He’s dry humping against you. You give him a cheeky smile and flirt with him? His pants are off. Boba is in a constant state of Wanting To Fuck. But, of course, if your sex drive doesn’t match his or if you’re not in the mood, he literally will not care or hold it against you.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Boba does not fall asleep until you have. Period. Full stop. It’s a bit of a machismo thing of his (he sees himself as the “protector” in the relationship) but it’s also because he just genuinely likes watching you fall asleep. Boba likes when you get all sleepy and droopy, melting against him, feeling all your muscles relax as your body starts to slow down. It makes him feel strong, comfortable, and most of all, loved. You falling asleep next to him, the Boba Fett, is almost the biggest exercise of trust you can show him, and he loves it.

#star wars #boba fett #boba fett x reader #boba fett x you #star wars boba fett #post-sarlacc boba

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camilliar · 3 years

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recs for someone new to omgcp

[February 2021.]

Reading, or not reading, OMGCP fics has come up in a couple of conversations I’ve had recently with artists newish to the fandom (ie. @jovishark; @decafffff), who are making OMGCP art (!!!) but haven’t started exploring fic -- but maybe want to? Which of course reminded me that I’ve never bothered to make an actual, concrete recs list for this fandom. So, I mean. Here is one.

The approach is, what do I think about when I think about OMGCP fanfic? What comes to mind, what stands out to me? I have excluded some very popular fics. Some of these I just don’t think are very good, and others I do think are good, and/or I enjoy them, but I don’t see why you’d need me, specifically, to recommend them. I am thinking of a story like maybe i’m waking up, which I discuss below because I link to a podfic of it. It has a lot of merits, to be sure, but it’s the second-most-read fic in this fandom by hits, and it’s got thousands of comments, and it’s by an author whose work is relatively widely praised and circulated. I am not sure what telling you more about this fic will add to the conversation; if you want to find and read it, you inevitably will. I’m happy to, say, answer asks about these kinds of fics, or talk more generally about them via DM or whatever. Feel free.

Also, I don’t think there’s a point to pretending to be objective about fanfic; this list has a perspective and that perspective is mine. In this fandom I largely read stories that navigate the tension around Jack, Bitty, and Parse, in various permutations. This is not to say that I’ve never read fic about the frogs, or that I have no interest at all in other pairings, but I am by no means an expert on Dex/Nursey and can really only speak to the one fic about them that sticks out to me because it goes beyond being merely Dex/Nursey and does something else. This is just to say that I am sure there are great and interesting fics about other things and ideas--but I’m not the person to hear about those from.

Likewise, I’m not super interested in stories that really reproduce that which is already in OMGCP. I like Zimbits--albeit maybe not in the ways or for the reasons most fans would--but I do not really need to see endless iterations of the same story about them falling in love and being cute together. I don’t think these stories are bad or they shouldn’t exist or that they have no merit by default. Still, I don’t need fanfic to give me more OMGCP. I need fanfic to complicate, to comment on, and to transform OMGCP. Many people don’t work like this! Totally okay! But I can’t rec you fics that do that.

What I have noticed, however, is that over time there appears to have been a shift in how people do write fic for this fandom. (Other than, you know, increases and decreases in activity pending the status of the comic, pairings going in and out of vogue, and so on.) Early on, say during Y1 and Y2, the comic was about the group of friends having a cool time at college together; about whether the burgeoning attraction between Jack and Bitty would manifest and, if so, how; and, especially, Jack’s past coming into fuller view for Bitty and how it would have to be dealt with in order for a relationship between them to work. YMMV on how great the comic executed there, but as Y3 went on these themes increasingly disappeared from the story. I think this means a lot of fic written over 2015-2016 or 2017 has one kind of tone, and was written mostly around these questions; after that, it feels like a new crop of writers and a new crop of ideas started circulating, that is, either embracing Jack and Bitty’s canon relationship and accepting its relative straightforwardness in text--or deconstructing it, imagining what readers aren’t seeing, or how problems not dealt with in the comic would manifest later. People who have read my fic know which of these I’m mainly interested in exploring.

All of which is to say, looking at what I’m reccing here, when the fics were posted or when I first read them probably has a lot to do with why they stick out to me so much. Because there’s no real culture of fanfic criticism--and I mean that in the positivist sense of broad evaluation not explicitly for fault and merit but rather, for context--I think it’s really hard to keep this in mind. But I’m obnoxious and I can’t just be easy about things.

Fic recs

In alphabetical order, somewhat unsorted; if a stand-alone fic has a summary I’ve included it, but in other cases I’ve recced a couple of conceptually related fics or series, which I’ve tried to just describe or explain as opposed to copying the summary off AO3.

There are so many more fanfics I think are great and worth reading! In an ideal world I’d come back and add more later, or create a secondary list that’s more along the lines of “if you like this, read these,” or whatever. But, being realistic, this is a starter kit. I’m open to talking about fanfic.

- - - - - - - - - - -

7-0-2 by Idday; Friends in Low Places and Sorry for the Blood in Your Mouth; I Wish it was Mine by blue_rocket_frost | I’m not sure it would be correct to say that I don’t like Parse/Tater, or that I’m not interested in Parse/Tater. I’m not interested in Patater a priori; I think it could be interesting, with teeth. These fics stick out to me when I think about this pairing, because they feel different. Accusations of a preference for just linking any two white men who happen to be hanging around have validity, but because of what hockey is and how it works and who’s hanging around it, it’s not exactly a leap to imagine what kind of gritty spark the friction between two closeted NHL players would create. A little violence in your sex? A little sex in your violence.

A Sight Worth Seeing by sadtomato | A four-fic Jack/Bitty/Shitty/Lardo explicit BDSM series. Either you want that or you don’t. It’s nothing hardcore, and not properly a four-way, really; more properly a kind of voyeuristic round-robin. There’s a more open and egalitarian view of sex here than I really get from the characters in the back end of the comic. It’s an expansive, propulsive view of sex and relationships that’s really nice to see. I love Lardo's detached coolness, and Bitty as a smooth operator; if you’re looking for some kind of Dom/sub dynamics world, this really isn’t it, but it’s a lively exploration into the sexual dynamics in a group of friends that’s super close to the good-times vibe you get from Haus scenes in the first couple years of extras.

call me son (one more time) by Summerfrost, Verbyna, and blithelybonny | This is a series, incomplete, and you will love it or be massively put off by it. I mean that as a compliment. I love it. The premise is, Bob Zimmermann and Kent Parson have been having sex since Kent was, like, 19. Everyone in this story has been chewed up: by themselves, by each other, by hockey. Plainly, this is a pretty bleak view of what OMGCP, as a story, is supposedly offering. If you want fic that is dark and glamorous, treading the toxic melange of substance abuse, sex-as-sublimation, and so much money you can’t possibly throw all of it away without trying, this series has that sick-inducing shimmer to it. But, again, its strength is its examination of Kent Parson, textually and meta-textually, as someone to be projected onto. Bob, Alicia, Jack, and Bitty all impute certain feelings of their own onto him, displacing their own issues to a character who’s centralized in every fic but defies neat or total comprehension. Some critiques I’ve read of this series feel it’s too dark, and I’ve also seen it argued on FFA that an overwhelming amount of praise heaped onto these stories has made it tough for other writers to make headway in writing Bob/Kent fic. But I’m also not sure you could engage with Bob/Kent fic without going down this road at some point? I’m sure there are ways to scale it back, but ultimately it’s a story about how hockey’s violent, homophobic, old-guard gatekeeping has continued to set the terms for a younger and ostensibly less toxic culture. I fully embrace PWP fics that tread on the power dynamic without fully excavating it, but buried within any PWP is the fact that a 53-year-old man is ensnaring a 19-year-old, no matter how much the latter is, realistically, into it, and legally empowered to consent. Not to mention the dynamics of it being a 53-year-old man who is the father of the 19-year-old’s ex-boyfriend, and a 53-year-old man who is an eminence grise in the field the 19-year-old is trying to make a career in The sexual element--the vaguely incestuous nature of it--is making textual the subtext of how hockey works, actually: objectification of teenage bodies as older men’s capital.

Coach Z by thistidalwave | Just before the 2009 NHL Entry Draft, tp prospect Jack Zimmermann overdoses on his anxiety medication and is admitted to rehab. His future turns from a clear-cut road to the top into an uncertain path filled with therapy appointments, ignored text messages, a group of boys who aren't there to teach him a lesson about himself, and, of course, hockey. | I keep reccing this fic because it has 360 comments on AO3 but nobody, as far as I can tell, has ever read it; it never appears on rec lists. This isn’t the kind of fanfic I usually go in for, but I can’t help being charmed by it. This is a character study in the truest sense, a kind of Mighty Ducks-but-better view on what Jack’s time coaching peewee hockey might have been like. I have no interest in kids and my own aesthetic is maybe a little darker than this, but I admire this story because it injects vibrancy into a period of Jack’s life that OMGCP has left largely unexplored, and so has the fandom. We know nothing about what made Jack want to go to college, nothing about how he spent his days in between juniors and Samwell. It posits a very sympathetic and patient Jack/Parse dynamic, showcasing the exact kind of ragged teenage push-and-pull that would have led to the circumstances we see in Parse I-III. The outside perspective Jack needs is largely present in an OFC who’s not a love interest. Super unique, somehow both engrossing and low-key.

#dirtbags by angularmomentum | A series that is a Kent Parson/Claude Giroux fuckfest with feelings. I’ve long suspected that Parse is popular in part because he is the character who most easily elides OMGCP with the actual NHL, or rather, NHL fandom; I think he made it appealing to write OMGCP fics where the NHL is a factor. Case in point, this series, which is basically “what if Kent Parson was a real hockey player and therefore part of NHL RPS”? I have only read some NHL RPS, so I’m not the person to assess accuracy, but what I do know is superstar IRL hockey players take turns here as the caricature fanfic versions of themselves, and since Kent Parson is already that, it’s great how seamlessly he integrates into their social fabric. Rambunctious energy peppered with regret and loss, but ultimately this series is farcical, and it doesn’t take its sentimental ending too seriously--which, good.

fated to pretend by nighimpossible | 5 Jack/Kent fics that Ransom and Holster dramatically reenact for the Haus + the truth. | As a fic format, 5+1 doesn’t usually work for me, but this one isn’t just front-loaded with five too-knowing vignettes; it then wraps up by using its +1 better than you might expect. Sometimes I talk about economy of fic, and this one exemplifies it. A zero-waste fic.

go ahead and move along by originally | "Leave, Parse," Jack says. Again. Or: Kent finds himself stuck in a time loop. | Kent Parson is trapped in a Groundhog Day scenario on the day of Epikegster. I’m sure you can imagine, just from that, what happens. And yet I think this fic is super entertaining, reserving some key surprises. What this story is doing is something a lot, and perhaps even the majority, of great Jack/Parse fic wants to do: digging into the question of just why this can’t work in comic canon. Most often this is approached from the past, by writing teenage Jack/Parse deep-dives that examine their lives mid-juniors, or by writing AUs where enough circumstances are shifted that it does work, or via future fics that posit enough growth has happened, and enough things have changed. But this fic makes Parse live the same bad day again and again, testing multiple theories about just how dependent on circumstance and incident real life actually is. Another day, another tone, 10 minutes sooner, not at all--you just can’t know why it didn’t work until you exhaust every possible variable. I worry that this rec has sucked the life out of the story, though--it’s so fun!

I Saw a Life and Strange Lovers by @bluegrasshole | Most AUs in this fandom seem to retell the story in a new setting or with some big detail change, following OMGCP’s rhythm beat-for-beat. I think of this as, “It’s the plot of Check, Please, but” -- they’re doing high school football? They’re acrobats? They’re a/b/o? They’re in a DIY punk band? And so on. These two stories are not that! They’re both 1950s AUs, each deeply felt, and yet hugely different from each other. I Saw a Life is about displacement and fragmentation, two sides of a similar but incongruent social critique; Strange Lovers is a finely wrought social drama about coal mining in Nova Scotia in the 1950s, centered around historical events. I suppose a theme on this rec list is something like, “I don’t even like this, but” -- yes, okay, I don’t even like Dex/Nursey, but--! This fic is so overwhelmingly complete, the AU laid out so carefully that the story breathes with all the background details informing the writing that aren’t actually, in the story; you just know they’re below the surface. (With the exception of one investigation of Jack’s character in a short, separate fic.) I Saw a Life, meanwhile, really tests the limits of the notion that Jack and Bitty are soulmates--not by calling it into question but by asking, rather innovatively, how the setting and place of the comic itself activates that.

Les Hivers de mon enfance by staranise | What do you do when hockey is the language of prayer for your soul, and also the toxic thing that almost killed you? 2009: Jack Zimmermann takes a mental health year. God knows he needs it. | Here’s a fic by someone who’s no longer around so much, but she felt ubiquitous in 2016-2019 OMGCP fandom. Before any of that, though, she wrote this one lovely fic about Jack’s pre-Samwell recovery. The author is Canadian and really irritated by hockey culture, and I think this fic benefits greatly because she is clear-eyed about Jack’s being caught in an exploitative system; it’s hockey he’s in recovery for, in a way. There’s an epistolary element that works for me, too. I read this early on in my time in OMGCP fandom and it really stuck with me.

Lysistrata? I Hardly Know Her! (by which I mean everything) by @tomatowrites | It feels somehow like cheating to recommend OMGCP fanfics by my OMGCP BFF with whom I make an OMGCP podcast where we talk about OMGCP. You know the fics I really want to rec, like truly the ones that speak to some kind of shared depravity, are the ones where Jack is miserably mpreg for the second time and accidentally lets his kid see Kent Parson’s Long John Silver’s shrimp scampi promo spot, which obviously would get twisted into a self-hating three-way. How many times do I have to rec this fic? As many as I need to, is my feeling. If you don’t know, Long John Silver’s is an American fast-food chain that sells, like, fried pollock sandwiches; it is nautical-themed; I have never eaten there; I don’t know where there is one; I don’t eat fried fish. (Shrimp, on the other hand?) All of which is to say that it takes a real genius to investigate a premise that far out. And while a lot of people almost certainly will start reading this humanity’s depths-themed sex scene and back the fuck out, readers with refined taste will note that Kent, the point-of-view character, is right there with you, despairing that he can’t help himself. And so long as you’re in that story collection, honestly, you’ll love petite gems like Jack is transmasc, Jack and Shitty play hockey in 18th-century England, and oh, right, he’s from Georgia. Tomato holds the distinction of being probably the gamest author I know in this fandom, just really like fearless in her pursuit of any range of concept she’s pushed to. (I can push her to?) See, for example, a sublime bandom AU; Bitty is cancelled for buying a maybe-unethically exported Roman fragment of a youth’s torso; or, god, the masterwork that is this future fic series where Jack keeps relapsing and Bitty exiles him to their guesthouse. Do I think you need to read a fic where Bitty is snide about the teen prostitute whose baby they’re adopting? Yes, I mean, he would be snide, don’t tell me he wouldn’t. I could go on, but my main thing here is, if I have to pick just one, I’m going to pick this Lysistrata fic. The premise, literally, is that Bitty reads the Lysistrata and it gives him ideas. Like most of Tomato’s OMGCP fic, it’s a stripping away of the comic’s polite fiction that Jack and Bitty could possibly attain the ideal it reaches in the comic without some kind of messy, efflusive breakdown. Life is like that, you see! Tricky. Like a lot of people, although it’s tough to say precisely how many, I have always intuited that maybe Bitty is kind of a natural top? But obviously when you meet him, as a literal virgin, it’s hard to see how he’d go from zero to self-actualization so neatly. This fic floats a theory, and it has a fun little side plot for Whiskey, something I never thought about or needed before Tomato built it out herein. In conclusion, BONUS: Dex’s gay lobster novel.

only fools rush in and the light of all lights by decinq | This person wrote of the nature of the wound, one of the early, formative Jack/Bitty fics that was oft-recced when I was getting into the fandom in 2016. It forms part of a larger series that deals deeply with how Jack has been shaped by his struggles (? I hate this word) with homophobia and his own mental health. It’s a picture of the character as you might have imagined him much earlier in the comic’s run. The formatting is atrocious and he author’s flair is what Tomato would call “AO3 house style.” It’s a voice that works great for her writing. I think it’s at its best in these shorter fics; the former is about Parse and Shitty stumbling into a relationship almost accidentally; the latter, an eerie PBJ vampire fic. I had begun writing a fic where Parse is a vampire early on in this fandom, only to read this and immediately quit, because you only need one, and this one’s all I need. The Parse/Shitty rare pair fic shares its exuberance with hockey RPS when it’s good: here’s how fun it can be when you’re young, rich, and jocular. And I don’t even like accidental marriage AUs, they’re usually boring, so that says a lot. By all means, read the wound fic; read the entire series. But these are highly unusual.

OVERDOSE and Oomph and a little spin-o-rama by jedusaur | None of these are long, or plotty, and they’re all a little experimental. OVERDOSE is an AU set in a world where you know how you’ll die, but no details; Oomph, a little fic where Jack hears hockey pucks talking to him. This is the kind of stuff I used to think I’d find in fandom forever, coming out of Lotrips lurking in the 2000s: short, zany bursts of energy that surprise and delight. a little spin-o-rama peers at Kent’s character through the grim reality of being the hypertalented superstar stuck on a dead-last team. All three are sparse and stylish in a way that’s really smart, practically economical.

Sowing Season by @agrossunderstatement | Parse and Zimms, Zimms and Parse. Kent Parson's life, from the Q, through his early years with the Aces, to Jack's senior year. Canon divergent. A story of love, loss, moving on, regressing, hockey, and found families of all kinds. | Effectively a novel, digging into Kent’s personal history, mostly concerning his life in juniors but expanding into his present, overlapping with the plot of OMGCP. I think there is room enough for endless speculations on what went down pre-canon; this one offers a fuller life for Kent than nearly any others, digging into him as a whole person rather than as a satellite to Jack or the plot of the comic. Which isn’t to say that the Kent/Jack stuff isn’t dealt with here; it explicitly is. But the fact of Kent Parson’s life, if we can begin to imagine it beyond mere text, would exist before, after, and alongside Jack; he gets to juniors without Jack, presumably, and he is the captain of a hockey team without Jack, and Pinkerton lays the foundation of Parse’s character within a junior hockey that Jack also inhabits, more so that Parse existing for Jack, so to speak. And I’m not implying this latter tactic is wrong; I have certainly employed it, and others have employed it to great impact and effect. But, still, the title of this series tells you what you ought to know: Kent and his story are the potentiality of OMGCP, up to a point; seeds being planted. Young hockey players, similarly. The question implied there is, what will be reaped? And the answer to the latter, in a sense, that reaping is a sort of violence. Which makes this series sound pretty heavy, but it’s not -- more like, realistic.

(tell everyone) you were a good wife by @queerofcups | The biggest problem with pretending that he doesn’t know that Kent Parson is fucking his husband is that Jack can’t tell Kent how grateful he is. | The ne plus ultra of PBJ triangulation; I’ve been squealing to the writer about how good it is since August, begging for behind-the-scenes insights, and I’d only do that if I really meant it. The precarious social fabric stretched across these three chapters is fraying before the reader’s eyes. The details are delicious, and I don’t want to spoil them, but they sing in chorus with the plot. My favorite OMGCP fics, honestly, remove the romance narrative guardrails that keep things in the comic itself humming along. I think Dann’s take is to ask who in this comic has power and what they would end up doing with it. (Or not doing, from another angle.) At one point, early on in its telling, OMGCP looked like it was going to be a story dealing with the compounded traumas of hockey’s discontents. Then, of course, it wasn’t. This is a fic that steps back and asks what the fallout of that oversight would be. But that’s just the moldering core of this fanfic; it’s actually embroidered, like I said, with glittering detail. The color of the suit Bitty wears to his wedding is burned into my brain. The gray manicure of a woman Jack knows. The ingredients in a cake. This is one of those fics I still haven’t reviewed because the thought of stacking everything I could say about it into mere AO3 comments is inadequate.

when you’re ready by megancrtr | The Aces’ director of communications gets the call at 3:13 a.m. Jack Zimmermann has withdrawn from the draft. | “What happened at the draft” is so mythological it gets asked in the comic proper, and I’ve never counted how many fics attempt to answer this question--from Kent’s point of view, even--but it’s gotta be, oh, hundreds. This story replays the situation from the perspective of an Aces staffer who just wants to do her job, and gets at the jarring discordance between the plot of OMGCP in its quest for social justice and the business of actual hockey. Important context is that this story was written around the time the comic was playing out the end of Y3 and start of Y4, and Bitty pointedly asked Jack the question, “why can’t we?” This story reframes the question as literal, rather than rhetorical. A sterling example of fanfic being a gloss on its source.

BONUS, podfics

hockeyed up | There are many things on Jack's mind. Namely: hockey, hockey, Bitty, hockey, anxiety, hockey, hockey, anxiety, Bitty, hockey, hockey, anxiety, and hockey. | A fic read aloud by its French-Canadian author. Also a relatively early OMGCP fanfic; composed while the first semester of Y2 was posting, the story suggests a version of OMGCP that was in some ways more and in other ways less complex than what it would turn into not long after. The real power of this podfic, however, is that it’s read by the writer, so you can hear the intended emphasis in every line. Also, because she’s French-Canadian, Sophie’s intonation is what I picture when I read or write dialogue for Jack.

maybe i’m waking up | It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.) | Don’t get too excited; this isn’t finished. A podfic of probably the best-known, most-recced fic in OMGCP fandom. Striking for its use of metatext woven into the story, this is one of several early longform Jack/Bitty fics that posits that maybe Jack has a lot more development to undergo before he can really, truly, be okay--or be okay enough to be with Bitty? To be honest, this story strikes me now as too long, but the parts in it that work are effective beyond that which fanfic demands. Meanwhile, this audio version only covers six chapters, but it’s so slick, so well-realized, so true to the story. Podfic as art.

my own dear friends | Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.) | There’s previous little Jack/Shitty in this fandom and a lot less quality BDSM,

the city’s ours until the fall | Kent has been, historically, good at this—forgetting about things until suddenly he doesn’t, and then it’s like the scar has never been there in the first place, just the wound. (Or: Kent Parson lets himself be happy, after all this time.) | I’ve never read this fic and I never will. I cannot imagine how, no matter how good it is, it could compare to the version that lives in my head, with Kent’s voice so totally realized. Vocal fry and pathos, a languid energy that I still think about when I think about Parse.

the model home | It’s going to be better, and that’s great, but sometimes Jack thinks, why can’t it be good right now? | j/k j/k, this is a self-reminder to finally one day review this.

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keepthyfaithandthylight · 3 years

Text

✨nostalgia post™️✨

-does anyone else remember playing the Reader Rabbit video games or was it just me

-what about the leap frog alphabet factory movie (my mother forced me to sit down and watch it and I literally threw a temper tantrum.)

-and what about those really weird Qubo TV shows (Babar, Jane and the Dragon, Jacob Two-Two, Pearlie, Turbo Dogs, Grossology, the fucking Mysteries of Alfred Hedgehog, to name QUITE a few.)

-I feel like I’m the only person on the planet who watched Crashbox as a child.

-we can’t forget The Magic Schoolbus

-the old PC Littlest Pet Shop games

-the THX sound scaring the living shit out of me :)

-the absolute hell that was summer camp no I will not talk about it.

-freaking Smile Of A Child channel.

-St. Bear’s Dolls Hospital. It was weird.

-Quigley’s Village (aka knock off Mr. Roger’s..)

-pretty sure The Huggabug Club was also a reoccurring thing in my childhood.

-Colby’s. Clubhouse.

-Arnie’s Shack….

-Can’t forget the Shari Lewis show.

#my mother raised me religiously.#as we can see by the absolute shit ton of Smile of a Child TV shows.#asra speaks #completely off theme but I wanted to post.

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laceymorganwrites · 4 years

Text

Don´t call me kid, don´t call me baby

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM THE MANGA

Word count: 4,043

Pairing: Atsumu x fem!reader

Summary: You are the neighbor of infamous Atsumu Miya and manager of the Sendai Frogs (Former manager of Karasuno). You don´t really like him (reader is a bit of a tsundere) until you get a chance to know him. Maybe you were wrong about him all along?

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), Atsumu overthinking and being insecure

Fun facts: Atsumu and you wanted to go to the park for your date, but it rained, so you just went to his place, cooked together and watched Naruto

Mini playlist: Illicit affairs - Taylor Swift

Bloody Valentine - Machine Gun Kelly

Friday I´m in love - The Cure

Rockstar - Call Me Karizma

Alphabet Boy - Melanie Martinez

Leave Me Alone - I Don´t Know How But They Found Me

Trying to squeeze your way through the masses at the airport always stressed you out, coming home was supposed to feel calm and relaxing, not like this.

You were only gone for a week, visiting friends and relatives abroad, but honestly you were excited to be back home.

It was stressful running errands and catching up on months upon months of information.

You only had this chance because the season just ended, but that only meant that the training would start again soon, now that you were home.

Volleyball and you were inseparable, ever since you could remember.

It all started with you watching it on TV and being fascinated, joining a club in middle school, then in high school, you even got the chance to be the manager of the Sendai Frogs, your current job.

Everything was going too well.

You only hoped that your apartment would still stand when you arrived there, maybe having the team look after it wasn´t the best decision. Maybe Tsukishima was able to smack some sense into the others.

“(Y/N)-senpai?!” Hinata called out to you, he thought he was only imagining things, but when you turned around to meet his eyes, he smiled brightly and ran to you.

He just came back from Brazil and you were equally surprised as him, sure all of you stayed in contact, but both of you and Nishinoya being abroad, the rest of the team being in college or working already complicated meeting up.

Yet it was nice that you texted each other, you even followed some of the careers of your former club as far as it was possible.

And Hinata made sure to text as often as possible, even announcing to you that upon his arrival he´d want to attend the tryouts of the Black Jackals.

“Hinata! You´re back already? Is it already the third?” you thought to yourself, to you it felt as if he just left, to you he was still the little bundle of joy that changed everything.

“You sure grew up a lot! You´re much taller than before… I can´t believe it´s been three years already!” you mustered him, noticing how mature he was now, still to you he´d always be the same he was in high school.

“Brazil was amazing! I learned a lot, beach volleyball is super hard! And you won´t believe who I met” he started as you two walked out of the airport together, you listened attentively as he told you all about his stay abroad, you had a smile on your face the whole time.

He has come so far.

“I can´t believe you ran into Oikawa at some random beach, what are the chances?” you giggled, picking up your luggage with him and leaving the airport.

You talked a bit more until you had to part ways.

“Good luck with the tryouts!” you called after him and he gave you a thumbs up before he grabbed a taxi.

You had the luck to be picked up by the team´s coach and discussed the next season and games in the car.

“Training starts tomorrow again, but you don´t need to do anything today. We don´t have any set games yet, so we´re just gonna commence normal training tomorrow and you can make some calls after and see who´s free for a game” he instructed and you nodded.

It was good being in the flow of things again, somehow being home and working was more relaxing than being with your family and friends.

When you arrived home, the coach helped you with your luggage which you were grateful for.

Luckily everything in your apartment was as you left it, probably thanks to Tsukishima.

After saying goodbye to the coach you were on your way to put the last piece of luggage into your apartment, though you wished you were already inside when the events unfolded before your eyes.

“You´re an asshole, Atsumu!” some girl yelled and you had to suppress a chuckle.

Being neighbors with Atsumu Miya wasn´t as annoying as you thought it would be, he was never at home.

And still he was just like the asshole you imagined him to be, just like the cocky prick he painted himself as.

But he was quite entertaining as a neighbor, you had to admit. Every now and then angry women would leave his apartment, yelling at him, accusing him of the most ridiculous things. And it always made you laugh.

“Come on, Sarah! It wasn´t that bad… give me some credit” he called after her, but she only huffed and turned around bashfully.

“My name´s Nicole!” she shrieked and stomped out of the door.

You eyed the two, leaning in your doorway.

Atsumu sighed, this wasn´t the first time this has happened. Not only was he bad in bed apparently, though he didn´t see the problem in cumming fast when she initially just wanted to blow him, but he was also the biggest asshole on the planet.

No wonder he couldn´t get anyone to stay.

“Ouch. Forgetting her name? That´s low, even for you, Miya” you commented with a bitter undertone.

At least he had the decency to look somewhat guilty.

“You think I don´t know that?” he mumbled, making you raise an eyebrow. Usually he´d make some shitty remark about how he had so many girls, he couldn´t possibly keep up with the names of them all.

“You know, it´s kinda her own fault for getting involved with you” you tried to comfort him, but obviously your words left more harm than intended.

You wanted to apologize, but before you could do that, Atsumu gave you a knowing smile.

He seemed off today, but it was none of your business, so you didn´t press it.

“How was your vacation by the way?” he tried to change the subject.

You scrunched your nose, he always tried to pry into your life like that, you didn´t know why but it irked you.

“I don´t see how that´s any of your concern, Miya” you coldly told him off.

“Would it kill ya to call me by my first name?” he softly asked, scowling a bit.

The thing was, Atsumu had the biggest crush on you ever since he quite literally ran into you on your daily morning run. And when you moved in next door, he was over the moon.

But his reputation preceded him and you didn´t want to have anything to do with him, he couldn´t even blame you.

Yet every time he saw you, his heart raced more than when he spiked a volleyball, he couldn´t help smiling and you made his heart leap out of his chest.

It was stupid, he knew nothing would ever come of it and yet he couldn´t give up, he didn´t want to. He wanted to live in his little fantasy world where you actually looked his way.

“We´re not that close, Miya” you shot back, not wanting to admit that intimacy of that kind scared you.

You weren´t stupid, you noticed the thickened atmosphere between the two of you, but acknowledging even the slightest possibility of you opening your heart to him meant defeat to you.

Besides, you didn´t have time for relationships.

His heart sunk at your words, at the undeniable truth that hurt him so much more than he was ready to admit.

“Can I at least help you with your luggage?” he offered, sounding almost desperate.

“Suit yourself….” you mumbled. Usually you´d decline, but you just didn´t have the energy today.

You had to deal with the bickering of the team tomorrow anyways, a little help wouldn´t hurt, would it?

Atsumu entered your apartment and asked you what he could do to help, you showed him around and together you unpacked your suitcases. He even stayed to clean your apartment with you.

When you showed your surprise that he somewhat knew what he was doing he told you about his teammate who always got up on his ass about being dirty and messy.

You laughed at the way he pouted, telling the story.

“Hey are ya hungry? I can cook something up for ya” he asked, his eyes wide and hopeful.

He beamed at you when you agreed, showing him around the kitchen.

“Didn´t know you could cook…” you mumbled, watching him prepare the food.

You couldn´t believe you just agreed to have Atsumu Miya cook for you. You´d so regret that in the morning, you were getting weak…

“Yeah, my brother´s got an onigiri shop an´ I help out sometimes” he said nonchalantly, grabbing two plates and serving the food.

“Hm… I didn´t know that. You don´t seem like the type to do that.” you thought out loud, starting to eat and smiling delightfully at the taste. “Like you said, we´re not that close… I don´t really have the best relationship with my brother, but he´s still family, ya know?” he stated, digging in as well.

“Anyway, how´s the food? Do ya like it?” he asked excitedly and grinned widely when you nodded.

He helped you clean up the dishes before you two said goodbye.

“Thanks for the help… Atsumu…” you said through clenched teeth, looking sideways.

He looked at you perplexed, but over the moon.

“You called me by my name!” he exclaimed, smiling at you softly.

“Don´t let it get to your head” you told him before he went back to his own apartment.

The next few days passed rather quickly, your team was as chaotic as ever, you called a few of your friends and Hinata texted you that he made it into the team and asked you if you wanted to celebrate with him on the weekend.

You were free so you agreed.

What you didn´t expect was that he also invited the team.

You rolled your eyes as you saw Atsumu and Hinata come up to you, one more joyful than the other. “Congrats on making the team, Shoyo” you smiled at him, trying to ignore Atsumu´s knowing smirk.

Hinata must´ve told him something.

“Thanks! I can´t believe Atsumu-senpai´s finally tossing to me!” he smiled widely, it was nice knowing that he was still as full of energy as ever.

“What can I say? I keep my promises” he smugly answered.

“(Y/N)!” Bokuto called out to you, running up to you and joining in on the conversation.

“Kou!” you matched his energy and gave him a big hug, to which Atsumu looked away jealous.

“Have you met everyone already?” he asked, but before you could say anything he looked over at Atsumu who had a pleading look on his face.

He hoped Bokuto wouldn´t embarrass him too much after everyone found out about his crush on you.

It wasn´t even his fault, he never thought they´d figure it out. He always kept talking about his neighbor, and now that Hinata was there who knew about your annoying neighbor, all of that secrecy was for naught.

It was quite funny from the outside perspective.

In their first training with the newbie he talked nonstop about you and his old team, about his stay in Brazil and his dreams, Bokuto asked about you as well and asked Hinata if you still had that douche of a neighbor.

Atsumu only listened in on their conversation once you were name dropped.

He was shocked when Hinata nodded and asked if he was really that bad.

Bokuto said nothing to that, only shrugging his shoulders and letting him know that his attitude wasn´t for everyone.

“I think you´re great, Atsumu-senpai!” Hinata then let him know.

“Yeah, don´t let it get to your head!” Bokuto patted his back.

And now he wanted nothing more than to escape this situation.

“Ah, (Y/N), are you free next Wednesday?” Bokuto asked and Atsumu´s eyes went wide, he couldn´t be thinking of that, could he?

“Yeah, it´s our day off, but I have to make some calls. Why´re you asking?” you answered, something about Hinata´s and Bokuto´s behavior seemed suspicious, but you couldn´t put your finger on it.

It really threw you off.

“Do you maybe wanna watch our training and help a bit?” he asked, so it was true. Atsumu´s most dreaded and most wished dream would come true if you said yes.

Wished because it was you and he wanted nothing more than to impress you. Dreaded because he needed extra training to get used to the noise in the stadium. Which meant his teammates would make as much noise as possible and Bokuto would very loudly imitate his fangirls.

He already embarrassed himself in front of you enough on a daily basis.

“Yeah sure, just text me the time and I´ll be there” you agreed, it wasn´t every day you got the opportunity to watch such a great team.

Hinata and Bokuto left you two to talk to some of their friends from high school. You already talked to everyone and didn´t feel like staying much longer.

Atsumu felt kind of out of place, he wasn´t that good at social interaction despite being known as such a bright personality.

He gave up on taking someone home tonight, he really wasn´t in the mood.

And without his brother, his old friends from high school or his teammates who already left or were busy with someone else, he just felt lost.

“Hey, you know what Kou meant with me helping in your training?” you asked, it didn´t leave your head ever since he mentioned it.

“Promise me you won´t laugh?” Atsumu sighed, meeting your eyes.

“It´s you we´re talking about, of course I´m gonna laugh” you replied, smirking at him.

“Fair enough” he stated, facing you.

“I can´t play when it´s loud, my serves and spikes are always off when I hear those squealing pigs…” he mumbled, crossing his arms and pouting, looking way cuter than he should.

You couldn´t help but chuckle a bit.

“Squealing pigs? Seriously?” you raised an eyebrow, but couldn´t stop laughing as you imagined Atsumu glaring at them like he did in high school.

He was such an asshole back then, a good player, and just your type.

“What? They´re annoying….” he defended himself.

“Sure, but that still doesn´t explain how on earth I´m gonna help with that. Except I should cheer for you” you thought and scoffed when he met your eyes.

“In my defense it wasn´t my idea! And Bokuto does it too…. But it helps a lot actually… I just hope I´ll get my shit together until next game” he confessed.

“Oh trust me, I´ll give it my all” you giggled, you wouldn´t let an opportunity to make fun of him slip by so easily.

Atsumu and you talked for a bit longer, he told you a bit more about himself, and you, well, you gave in and did the same.

It was weird laughing with Atsumu, being by yourself at a party and still having more fun than everyone else.

And yet you didn´t want it to stop.

“Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat?” he suggested with a hopeful glimmer in his eyes.

“Yeah, food sounds great right now” you gave him a smile which he reciprocated gladly.

You two said goodbye to everyone and Hinata and Bokuto both gave you knowing looks.

“So, where are we going?” you asked, for the first time actually interested in sparking a conversation with him.

“My brother´s place, it´s close and you said you wanted to go there sometime” he said, surprising you that he actually remembered.

The walk was nice, you talked a bit more and the cool night air was refreshing.

“If it ain´t my idiot brother, didn´t I tell you not to bring yer hoes to my shop? Don´t want my rep to be crushed...” Osamu scolded him and now you understood why Atsumu was always so reluctant to speak about him.

Apparently he didn´t lie when he said they parted ways on a bad note.

“She ain´t a hoe, ´Samu! Her name´s (Y/N) and she´s my neighbor. The one I told ya about” Atsumu explained and Osamu quickly apologized to you.

You simply shrugged it off though since it didn´t bother you that much.

“Ya must be some sort of angel with nerves of steel to be able to live next to such an idiot. If I was in your place, I woulda moved places a long time ago” Osamu remarked, getting your order ready.

“Oh you know, he´s not that bad” you admitted, slightly looking at Atsumu and catching him off guard.

“You really think so? Thanks, (Y/N)” he smiled and then sat down with you to eat.

Meanwhile he told you funny stories from his childhood while Osamu told you embarrassing things about Atsumu that made you laugh even harder.

Atsumu decided that the sound of your laugh was his new favorite.

He paid and you two walked home together.

You even hugged him goodbye as you had to part ways.

This night your touch and your words clouded and calmed Atsumu´s dreams and he woke up refreshed and in a good mood the next morning.

Wednesday came rather soon, now that you talked to him more and got to know him, time seemed to fly and you cursed yourself for being so prideful for all the wrong reasons, for your prejudices against him.

You entered the gym to Sakusa scolding Atsumu for fucking up his seventh serve, Hinata was praising and defending him and Bokuto was doing fuck knows what, yelling about how he wanted Atsumu´s children.

Atsumu was the first one to notice you, apologizing for the scene you just had to witness as he saw your appalled expression.

“Kou, what the actual fuck?!” you murmured as you greeted everyone.

“It´s part of the training! I´m one of his fangirls, they´re gonna be super loud and he has to get used to it” he explained, smiling widely.

You shook your head.

“So he has to get used to people wanting his children and calling him daddy? Alright… I´m not gonna do that” you decided.

“I think I´m just gonna watch a bit and cheer when I think it´s necessary” you said and sat down.

Everyone thought that Atsumu would be distracted by your presence, but the exact opposite was the case.

He was hyper focused, even though everybody was trying to distract him, he could shut that all out and focus on his play.

When he landed the first serve of the day, you were shocked to see how good he really was.

You couldn´t help yourself but cheer for him as well, though you didn´t yell out how much you wanted his children, rather you yelled how awesome he was, how you didn´t know that anybody could make a spike this hard and fast, how he was better than Kageyama.

The last one really pitched his ego and he dedicated his next serve to you, to which you rolled your eyes, but also blushed.

“Guys, honestly I think you´re gonna be fine on the game. Like, holy shit… all of you are so good! I´m so proud of you” you let them know after training was finished.

“Thanks, (Y/N)!” Hinata and Bokuto grinned.

“I´m still not good enough, you helped a lot, but it´s not enough...” Atsumu said, he was never happy with his performance, no matter what he always found something that didn´t go as he planned it.

“What do you mean not good enough? You´re easily the best setter in Japan right now” you stated as a matter of fact.

“Huh?” Atsumu questioned, thinking he had just imagined it, there was no way in hell you´d compliment him like that, cheer him up like that, and in such a way that leaves no room for objection.

“I mean it, Atsumu. You´re amazing. And if anyone tells you otherwise they´re either lying or just plain rude” you undermined your statement and he gave you a dreamy smile.

“You said my name again” he happily noticed.

“If that´s what it takes to make you know your own self worth then I´ll do it over and over again” you said, crossing your arms.

Hinata thought you looked like you did in high school. Like a mom, like someone who deeply cared, someone who could kick ass and someone who was one of the best managers he could´ve ever asked for.

Hell, Kiyoko, Yachi and you carried the team to the nationals, if it weren´t for you, Ukai and Takeada none of this would´ve been possible.

It was only now that he was an adult that he realized what all of that really meant and how grateful he was.

“I agree with (Y/N), Atsumu-senpai! You´re a great setter and you got even better, you train harder than anyone else and get better every day but it´s important that you take breaks” Hinata chimed in, he wasn´t part of the team for long, but has heard that Atsumu always overworked himself.

The team was scared that he´d hurt himself some day because of that.

“I can´t afford to take breaks, if I do I´ll fall behind. And if I fall behind I´ll get benched and if I get benched I´ll get kicked from the team and then all of this was for nothing” he rambled, looking distraught.

You let out a worried sigh and gently touched his arm, making him stop in his tracks and look at you.

“Do you really think they´re stupid enough to let such a great player go? And even more than that, do you think that anyone would let a great man like you go?” you softly spoke, touching his heart.

“Do you mean it?” he quietly asked, being in your presence calmed his mind down immediately.

“Of course I do. Look, when I first met you I thought you were the cockiest asshole to ever walk on earth. But you proved me wrong, because you´re so much more than you think. And I regret being so cold and distant to you, because honestly, I wish I´d got to know you sooner. But I´m stubborn and I didn´t. I can´t change the fact that it could´ve gone very differently, and neither can you. No matter how much you think about it, how you could´ve done things better, spiked this ball better, you can´t change it. All you can do is give it your all in the moment. And trust me, everything you do is more than enough, so don´t dwell on it. If you keep thinking like that, volleyball won´t be fun anymore. And that would just be sad” you opened up more than you intended to, but you thought it got the point across.

Atsumu said nothing for a while, still processing those words. Sure, he felt great hearing your praise, but what stuck to him was that you were actually glad to have met and know him.

And that was just the best feeling in the world to him.

“Will you come to our next game and cheer me on?” he asked hopefully, making you smile.

“Tell you what, I´ll even treat you to dinner afterwards. Sound like a good date to you?” you grinned.

“A date? You actually want to go on a date with me?” he had the goofiest, biggest smile on his face that made you feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

“A poor choice really” Sakusa commented.

“Hush! They´re having a moment!” Bokuto whined, he was very emotional and honestly relieved, Atsumu has been up their asses about dating you ever since you moved in next to him.

You groaned and dragged Atsumu outside with you, away from the others to have a little privacy.

“Maybe it wasn´t the best idea to ask you out in front of everyone…” you laughed it off and Atsumu joined in.

“I´m glad you did though. I wanted to ever since you moved in, but you know… didn´t think you´d be interested” he admitted.

“Me neither and yet here we are” you chuckled, not really knowing where to go from here.

You were pretty proud of yourself that you even managed to admit your feelings for him, give him a chance and then asked him out. It was totally worth it.

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu scenario #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenario #atsumu imagine #atsumu drabble #atsumu oneshot #hq #hq imagine #hq oneshot #hq drabble #hq scenario

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declansmitheram5555-blog · 5 years

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Top 10 internet memes

What is going on guys? It’s Declan here and in today’s post we will be taking a look at the top 10 internet memes of all time. This list is completely subjective, but I only care about my opinion so that doesn’t matter. Before we begin, make sure to like and share this post with all of your meme loving mates, or just strangers on the internet. Either way let’s jump straight into the list.

10. Grumpy cat

Kicking it off at number ten is a meme we have all been subjected to at one point in our life, maybe without even realising it. Since 2012, Tardar Sauce, (as her friends call her), blessed everyone’s feed with the perfect blend of cuteness, and relatable disapproval towards typically mundane or aggravating situations. Recently, Grumpy cat has passed away at the age of 7, so it is only right that we all pay our respects in the comment section. F for Grumpy Cat. A pioneer of the internet meme will stay in hearts, and in our meme library forever.

9. Why the f**k you lyin?’

When Nicholas Fraser uploaded this video to popular video site Vine in 2015, there was no predicting the impact it would have on online entertainment. The video, that shows Fraser dancing to the tune of ‘Too close’ by ‘Next’(1997), gained fame due to his inclusion of his own lyrics incorporated into the beat. This parody includes the Viner’s now famous lyrics that continuously repeat ‘why you always lyin’?’. This video highlights the extent to which a generation will glorify such a meaningless video… and we love it!

8. Jordan Crying face

By now you have probably seen this image circling around your google machines and mobile cellular devices, but do you know its origins? The photo of NBA star Michael Jordan crying at his 2009 hall of fame induction ceremony is ironically placed over those who have failed… sometimes epically. The beauty of this meme is that it is so easily applicable to our own personal experiences. Oh come on we have all been this meme before. If we aren’t busying applying this meme to ourselves, we can use it to add insult to injury to our friends, or you know people on the internet, who are more famous than us.

7. Mocking SpongeBob

‘Spongemock’ as you hipsters refer to him, was the result of a 2012 episode of the hit Nickelodeon show, SpongeBob SquarePants. The image did not receive widespread attention until 2017, when Twitter user @OGBEARD uploaded it, accompanied with a mocking text. The internet quickly absorbed (Like a sponge hehe) this meme and produced some of the finest pieces of meme art history. The meme has been used to mimic stereotypical expressions and sayings in a way in which we can all relate to, sadly.

6. Who is she?

For our first video appearance on this list, was there really any other choice? This video by Chloe Lmao gave us one last flash of greatness from the dying site ‘vine’. Don’t worry, if you had already given up on vine at this point, there was no escaping this viral video in which the Viner turns to face the camera, as Riff’s ‘Take on me’ intensifies. Although her face is intentionally made to look unappealing, there is no denying the true beauty of this video. Relatable to anyone who values their dance moves more than their outer beauty, this vine is one that will not be forgotten anytime soon.

5. Kermit the frog

Talk about a meme that has been with us from the start. This green frog puppet is arguably as important to meme lords as it is to 3 year old learning the alphabet. Kermit has undergone many meme transformations from the iconic sipping tea meme, to the recently popular evil Kermit. A refreshing break from internet drama, and world problems, Kermit will always be there to remind us of who we really are. There is a Kermit in all of us, and it is safe to say that there is no end in sight to this frog’s leap to internet fame.

4. Confused Nick Young

Following our trend of NBA players and their parodied facial expressions, is a man who has played for more basketball teams than I have fingers. One thing that will never change though, is Nick Youngs history of being a meme both on and off the court. To summarise the now unsigned baller, all you have to do is take one good hard look at the confused Nick Young meme. The result of Youtuber Casey Athena’s video titled ‘Thru the lens’, we were blessed (or maybe cursed) with this image that has all thinking one thing… What happened to you Swaggy P?

3. Double rainbow

Within the mix of funny cat videos, and epic fails that filled up YouTube in 2010, a new contender emerged. Uploaded by Paul Vasquez, AKA Hungrybear9562, this video portrays the man gazing upon two rainbows over the Yosemite National Park. What makes this video so memorable is the ecstatic manner in which the man addressed the very common phenomenon. Throw in an appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show, as well as a music parody that is still better than modern rap, and you have a recipe for viral sensation.

2. Bad luck Brian

Adding to the collection of golden era memes, is this meme uploaded to Reddit by Ian Davis. Unfortunately for Ian, it was his friend Kyle, or bad luck Brian, who received the attention for this fine year book photo, turned iconic meme. I guess bad luck Kyle just didn’t have the same ring to it. regardless, we all know a Brian. Sometimes we are Brian. He was sent by the meme gods to remind us that our school photos could well and truly be much worse. Bully him all you want, chances are he is more famous than you… sorry, please don’t unfollow.

And finally, at number one, the reason for our very existence, the meme that is in desperate need of a revival, Ri-

Yes, you just got rick-rolled. Tag your friends so you can totally rick-roll them too! And no, i do not regret wasting 5 minutes of your time.

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mrfirefoxgym · 7 years

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A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created by the Chinese Gymternet

NDISCLAIMER:

1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour.

2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured.

So now, if you are ready, please read on:

--------------------------------------------The line to hell-------------------------------------------

Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation

A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj. - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)

“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”

The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be -

“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”

When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”

When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken.

B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss

Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.

Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”

C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans

With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being...well...too biased.

Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”

With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries.

Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)

1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦，擦地，擦四步（scratchy，ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps)

Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“.

2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)

Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well... anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.

3. Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing

Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao.

4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙，娃娃 - frog, froggy

Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess.

5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant

Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career.

6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang

Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today.

7. Zeng Siqi & Chen Siyi - 旅游小姐/拍手小姐/提包小姐 - Miss vacation/Miss hand-clapper/Miss bag-carrier

Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC.

8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian

Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite...clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.

9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen

Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!

10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar

Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain... so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam.

11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation

Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended... So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”.

12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士，Miss Alphabets

Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that.

13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe

Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”.

14. Maria Paseka - 845

Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life.

15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women

Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/.

16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon

Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”.

BONUS:

Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation.

Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin.

And....thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this! I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)

#gymternet

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iwouldnamemypetsafteryou · 7 years

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Reality Blurred

I typed this up a few days ago in one sitting. The idea was sitting at the forefront of my brain for about two months and I finally had to sit down and write it.

The idea for Reality Blurred came to me during an exercise in my writing class. The instructor asked us to simply write about what an absolutely perfect day would consist of. If you were given only one opportunity to have the most decadent, outlandish, or otherwise unbelievable experience, and the day went entirely up to you, what might it be like. This idea morphed and distorted in interesting ways until it became this work.

My face tingled and my head felt like it was being hacked at from the inside. My eyelids felt heavy and I decided to let myself sleep, hoping rest would provide respite from the intense pain I felt and had been feeling for hours. I let my thoughts wander and my breathing slow, allowing my hands sink into the ground below me.

***

Once, when I was little, my mother screamed when a large spider skittered across the kitchen floor. It scrabbled across the tile, and out of fear I clambered up onto a chair. My mom was wearing sneakers, the kind with heavy rubber soles, and she took her foot and slammed it against the floor, immediately recoiling. The imprint of the bug never quite washed off the linoleum tile, even when we moved out several years later.

***

The first person I loved was an artist. She used to paint sketches she’d drawn of me and slip them under the door of my first apartment. I’d hung every one up on the bare wall of the rented space, smiling at the colors and shapes that decorated the otherwise desolate place. I was 19. She broke up with me because she wanted to travel the world.

***

My eyelids fluttered a little, the warm sun waking me momentarily from my nap. My head still hurt. I closed my eyes again.

***

My first memory is of my third birthday party. As soon as I was allowed to open my presents, I tottered down the dim hall into the living room. My father spoke in the background, talking to my preschool teachers about me. I paid them no heed, ripping the wrapping paper enthusiastically to reveal a foam puzzle of the alphabet, which I immediately tried playing with, taking it apart and putting it back together again.

***

When I opened my eyes again, the puzzle was sitting there on the sand, waiting for me to pop out the foam letters. The colors were bright against the white sand and I sat up slowly, propping myself up on my elbows. I mustered up the strength to sit up fully and grasped the edge of the puzzle, dragging it towards me. I fingered the soft plastic and used my thumb to extract the N from the frame. Smiling, I begin taking out the rest of the letters, jumbling them up in my hands.

My head still hurt. I went back to sleep, the rainbow letters strewn across the sand, the Y resting softly on my stomach.

***

I once slept with a boy who told me he didn’t like being in relationships. He was callous and uncaring, but I liked him because he didn’t mince words. We almost dated. We almost loved each other. He and I could have continued the pattern of almosts, except that I didn’t want to waste my life with almosts. I wanted to have something that actually was.

***

I wiped the grit from my eyes and rolled onto my side. He slept peacefully next to me, his stomach rising and falling softly, his long eyelashes appearing almost pretty in the sunlight. I rested my hand on his shoulder, but the effort of twisting my arm hurt, so I pulled away and shifted my body so my head lay on his chest. I watched birds and dragons fly by above us, wheeling gently between the clouds.

***

I worked at a museum after I graduated from school. I gave tours to children on field trips and explained the grotesque science behind mummies and the fascinating history of the dinosaurs. I never got bored of it. Each group had its own dynamic and the kids usually adored me. Their attention was what made me want children someday.

I never really liked most of the teachers who came through the museum. Often, they spent the whole time looking at their cell phones and allowing me and their chaperones to watch the students. It made me wonder why they were teachers. I always noticed the ones who seemed really invested in their kids. There was one in particular who came every year and always made sure every child’s shoes were tied and gave out compliments to each one as they passed single file through the double doors. I always wanted to be her. She seemed to have her life in order.

***

The teacher walked through the trees with a line of children behind her. She leaned over and, one by one, told the kids what she liked about them. She began with a small black-haired girl with large eyes. There were about thirty of them, and by the time she told the last one, a girl with a pink backpack and tangles in her long red mane, that she liked how she always raised her hand at sharing time, I was feeling drowsy again. The chatter of the kids faded in the background, but the noise persisted throughout my dreams and pounded in my ears.

I felt ill. My tongue was dry and I thought I might vomit, but I slipped into sleep quickly each time this thought entered my mind.

***

I used to have pet frogs. They liked to swim in the little pool of water on the left side of their terrarium, contracting their back legs and propelling themselves across the surface. Their skin was wet and their feet sticky, their tiny throats expanding when I picked them up in my palm. I named them Ruby, Monica, and Daphne. I loved those little frogs, even when I had to feed them crickets. They climbed the artificial branches and leaped from one twig to another without a care in the world. When I moved from California to Michigan, I detested the idea of them suffering through the long trek across the country, so I gave them to my sister. She wasn’t very good with them. Ruby died first, then the others soon followed.

***

My frogs were in front of me and I was undergoing a crisis. My whole body, every instinct in me, told me they would be delicious. But my heart loved these frogs. I had Daphne in the palm of my hand, my mouth felt dry and scratchy and I was hungry. I put her on the sand and reclined against a tree, but it hurt my back and I was still thinking about eating her. I couldn’t resist anymore. I sat up quickly, even though it hurt my head, and grasped one of the frogs, stuffing it unceremoniously into my mouth. It didn’t taste good. In fact, it tasted like sand. I spit it out and realized I only swallowed a large, gritty mouthful of dirt. I wondered where my frogs were. I lay back down.

***

My current girlfriend is an accountant. She puts stability in my life. It’s funny, because most people think it’s crazy that I’m dating someone so different from the others. She’s not an artist or a writer or even a creative person at all. But she’s funny. When we first met she drove around for two hours with me sitting shotgun because we couldn’t decide where to eat. We ended up getting McDonald’s takeout. Last year, she asked me if I was ever going to propose to her. I told her I would think about it, and two weeks ago I bought a ring. I don’t think I’m ever going to get to give it to her, though. It’s just this weird feeling I have.

***

I told my girlfriend that I was giving her the trip of her lifetime for her birthday. I bought inexpensive plane tickets to Spain, where I was going to propose to her on the beach. On the flight, there was quite a bit of turbulence. She went to the restroom even though the “fasten seatbelt” signs were on. I think that was pretty bad judgement on her part, because I am still alive and she is not. At least I don’t think so, anyway.

***

She must have been alive because when I woke up again, amidst huge hunks of metal and slices of safety glass, she was walking towards me. She was wearing the yellow sundress she was so excited to wear on the beach in Spain. At least we were on a beach, even though it wasn’t quite the destination the flight was meant for. She smiled at me, her dress fluttering in the light breeze. I knew it was time. My mouth felt dry, whether from nervousness or something else, I wasn’t sure. I picked myself up and brushed sand from my shirt, kneeling on the beach studded with sharp metal bits and feeling the cuts on my knees open up. I pulled the ring out of my pocket and held it up to her.

“Will you marry me?” My voice was rough and raspy and broke a little bit. I almost didn’t hear myself talk. She heard me, though, because she said yes and picked me up, swaying with me on the beach. My feet hurt and my head was screaming. The sand was wet with red marks from my bleeding knees and feet, so I sat down and she sat beside me. I felt thirsty. We fell asleep there, on the beach, with the ring on her finger.

I didn’t open my eyes again.

***

Remains of Aircraft Bound for Spain Identified

New York, August – The wreckage of a flight that went missing en route to Barcelona two weeks ago was identified on a small island in the Atlantic Ocean. There are no known survivors. Of the 23 passengers on board the small aircraft, one was found on the beach of the island. Mia Branch, a 36 year-old museum guide, was wearing a life jacket and appeared to have survived the crash. When an autopsy was completed, there was evidence to suggest that Branch died of dehydration after several days. Her feet and knees were covered in a multitude of scrapes and cuts and a diamond ring was found in her hand. Her body will be shipped to her family home in Anaheim, CA. Condolences go out to her family and those of the other victims. No other bodies have been found. – Dave Redford

The End

Note: Hopefully this work has made you want to leave a comment! Subscribe to my blog if you enjoyed it and want to read more. This is entirely a work of fiction. Any names or incidents which appear similar to real-life ones are entirely coincidental.

Also: PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE. I work hard writing these stories, so please do not copy and paste without a link and the name of this blog. Thanks a million!

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tania-grey · 5 years

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F451

O’Connell stopped, surrounded from lights above, as a frightened deer in headlights about to be crushed by a car. O’Connell was going over what he did today to deserve this.

This morning, as always, he went for his morning walk. He had gazed upon the sunrise of deep butterfly hues. O’Connell was thinking of his wife and how beautiful she was on stage at the Opry. How everyone clapped at her long and beautiful part. Thinking of how the audience looked; the didn’t have a clue at how well Martha O’Connell did. The audience hadn’t a clue at what she had said. O’Connell saw the audience was jolted by the seats to make the audience think they enjoyed it.

O’Connell thought of the book that he had borrowed from a friend of his. He was told to keep it a secret. He know deep inside that books were wrong, socially non-accepted. O’Connell’s friend told him that an alarm was sent in and had to rid the books before sunset. It was at that point O’Connell realized that all burning he ever saw was always at night. This is why they were after him, he thought.

Or, was it because of what happened at breakfast? He ate freeze dried cooked chicken for breakfast. Martha O’Connell had asked for the book to put it in a compartment to hibernate even as a frog does. They both knew that to save a book from an alarm, they must put it under ground. The O’Connell’s have had at least 5 alarms. The firemen found them in the closet, attic, and basement. The fourth time the firemen came, they could not find them at all. They were underground. They burned everything in sight, and still the books were safe. It was the same story the fifth time the came. Yes, thought O’Connell, this is why. The firemen thought the books were on his person! They’ve come to burn him instead of the house! Such a terrible thing to die for something so small.

Perhaps that wasn’t it after all. Perhaps it was because after breakfast he had found a pear tree and ate from it. They look at him as another Adam. He may have broke some forbiddance he was unaware of. If he was Adam, then where was the serpent? Surely, then, the pear tree wasn’t it. Besides, his Eve had not seduced him to it.

Perhaps it was jogging to work. Did O’Connell make himself look like a fugitive? Was it that he asked why he needed to do something a certain way? He was told to alphabetize files A to Z. O’Connell asked why A to Z? Why not Z to A instead? Was this why? He would be easier dead or in an asylum than if he asks why? OR was it because instead of buying a freeze dried lunch he ate real carrots, apple, and peanut butter sandwich?

Could it be that Martha O’Connell picked him up from work instead of watching TV? No, then they would come for her. Was it because Martha and O’Connell asked how the day went for the other? Was it because they took the afternoon to read the book? Maybe it was because he went for an evening walk, smoking.

Or... Could it be, O’Connell thought, that the governmental system is fallible? O’Connell was a sloth to come to this realization. At that same instant, a man in a helicopter said, “Montag, don’t move!” Montag! The seashell was just talking about the search a minute ago! They mistakened O’Connell for a fugitive runaway! Can Martha see me? O’Connell thought. Does she realize the mistake the government has made?

A heap or living metal leaps towards O’Connell, yet it did not leap. It was awake, yet it wasn’t. It lived, but it did not. It had eight legs spidering out. O’Connell saw the needle. Then it hit him: This metal was the hound. The hound was going to kill him! O’Connell did not hear himself scream. He did not hear himself scream. He didn’t hear himself scream!

Instead, he thought of his grandpa. Grandpa O’Connell told him of when firemen were friends. Told him people used to ask why, not how. Told him books are the center of a good society.

Instead, he thought of his parents teaching him how to ride a bike. He was so afraid of falling. How he insisted his Dad hang onto the bike. How, like a foal learning to stand, gained confidence and told his Mom to let go.

Instead, O’Connell thought of Martha. They met at a store in LA. How they were talking of life as a single person and how lonely it is. How they talked of technology making people incompetent. How O’Connell later asked her to marry him.

Instead, he thought of the wedding. How Martha was dressed in white with day lilies in her hair. How they both said their vows with all of their love filled hearts. How good it felt when they tasted their first kiss.

Instead, he thought of their daughter, Clairesse. How she grew up. How she was so happy and inquisitive, as is a young kitten. How she was taken to the asylum for merely being normal.

Instead, he thought of his Mom. She sang him to sleep. To sleep... Hushaby Mountain...Hushaby Mountain... Rock a by baby... on Hushaby Mountain... And O’Connell fell asleep in a deep, deep darkness.

Andrews was sure he was dead. Andrews was amazed at how fast the hunt and kill took place. It took all but 5 seconds. Five seconds to dramatize and kill O’Connell for the millions of viewers.

The men took O’Connell to the incineration site so that no one could tell that it was O’Connell instead of Montag. Riding the dragon, Andrews’ conscience starts eating him slowly as a worm though an apple. Andrews asks the Fire Chief, “Did we have to kill an innocent man?”

“No. O’Connell is not an innocent man,” the Chief replies. “He’s been a mule bucking the system. He and his whole family had been.”

“Oh,” came the bleak reply. They piled out of the Dragon and sprayed kerosene oil on O’Connell, and lit the match. They say a flash of light in the sky. The Fire Chief said, “So as the world began, and so it will end.” With that, an explosion throws the men into O’Connell’s fire.

#tg 11/1/k19 #f451 #spilled thoughts #spilled writing #spilled ink #writeblr #writblr #writing #throw back #wrote this in highschool #was homework #thoughts?

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lillianfromaccounting · 6 years

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💖 tag game 💖

i was tagged by the beautiful @avengersandchill 💕 (thank you!)

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

last 1. drink - water 2. phone call - in laws 3. text message - my friend 4. song you listened to - the alphabet song in the leap frog video 5. time you cried - two days ago?

ever 6. dated someone twice? - yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it - yes 8. been cheated on - yes 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yes

fave colours 12. red 13. purple 14. silver

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - yes 16. fallen out of love - i have an on again off again crush on evans 17. laughed until you cried - yes 18. found out someone was talking about you - no and i don’t really care 19. met someone who changed you - yes 20. found out who your friends are - yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yes

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - 99% 23. do you have any pets - nope 24. do you want to change your name - not anymore 25. what did you do for your last birthday - day trip to visit @katiekeysburg in Boston and got sooooo drunk 26. what time did you wake up today - 6:30AM because kiddo was up 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping 28. what is something you cant wait for - Infinity War? maybe? 30. what are you listening to right now - superhero high is on tv 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - my daily grind job 33. most visited website - probably tumblr or facebook 34. hair colour - black 35. long or short hair - on the longer side right now 36. do you have a crush on someone - sigh 37. what do you like about yourself - my warped sense of humor 38. want any piercings? - nope 39. blood type - who wants to know? 40. nicknames - lil, lilz 41. relationship status - married 42. zodiac - gemini 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - criminal minds, the good place, b99 45. tattoos - none 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - yes 48. piercings - none anymore 49. sport - bowling 50. vacation - antarctica 51. trainers - i’m more of a flip flop kinda girl

more general 52. eating - all the noodles 53. drinking - water or chai 54. i’m about to watch - nada 55. waiting for - time to leave for brunch 56. want - world peace and equality 57. get married - done 58. career - no freakin’ clue

which is better 59. hugs or kisses - hugs 60. lips or eyes - eyes 61. shorter or taller - taller 62. older or younger - depends? 63. nice arms or stomach - either 64. hookup or relationship - depends 65. troublemaker or hesitant - a healthy mix of both

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - nope 67. drank hard liquor - yes 68. lost glasses - yes 69. turned someone down - yes 70. sex on first date - define date 71. broken someones heart - yes 72. had your heart broken - yes 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - yes

do you believe in 76. yourself - probably too much 77. miracles - yes 78. love at first sight - yes, despite how illogical 79. santa claus - sometimes 80. kiss on a first date - depends 81. angels - maaaaybe

other 82. best friend’s name - who wants to know? 83. eye colour - dark brown 84. fave movie - sleeping beauty 85. fave actor - chris evans

tagging: --not tagging. if you’re reading this consider yourself tagged.

#personal #tagged #tag game #long post

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its-toys81-blog · 6 years

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Sing along to fun learning songs like 'the wheels on the bus and' and 'the alphabet song'. Leap Frog's fridge Phonics encourages children to explore the world of A to Z with colourful letter tiles that talk, sing and teach about the alphabet.

Fridge Phonics is magnetic and can be played with on a fridge or other magnetic surface. Fridge Phonics reinforces alphabet knowledge, including letter names and sounds, which is an important first step in learning to read. Playing with the letter tiles, which are designed for easy manipulation by little hands, also helps strengthen fine motor and coordination skills

Leap Frog Fridge Phonics encourages children to:

Explore letters - Kids can learn the alphabet by placing individual magnetic letter tiles on the bus window.

Build Vocabulary - Press any letter twice to hear Tad use it in a word and a sentence.

Say it, sound it - Place any letter on the bus and press it once to hear Tad say the letter’s name and sound.

Enjoy learning through Sing-along fun - Celebrate A to Z with fun learning songs, including the "Alphabet Song" and "Wheels on the Bus."

Recommended Age: 2-5 years.

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onthegoinmco · 7 years

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For the past 30 years Disney Legends awards have recognized the remarkable contributions that individuals have made to the Disney Legacy, and this year’s ceremony hosted by Disney Chairman and CEO Bob Iger at 10 am on Friday, July 14, in Hall D23 of the Anaheim Convention Center during the D23 Expo 2017 is shaping up to be extraordinary!

“The Disney Legends Award is the highest honor our company can bestow on an individual, reserved for those few who have truly made an indelible mark on the history of The Walt Disney Company,” said Disney Chairman and CEO Bob Iger. “It’s a celebration of talent, a recognition of achievement, and an expression of gratitude to the men and women whose work has significantly contributed to Disney’s enduring reputation for creative excellence.”

The 2017 Disney Legends Award honorees (listed alphabetically) are:

CARRIE FISHER became an overnight sensation in 1977 with her iconic performance as Princess Leia in Star Wars. But throughout her career, Carrie took on many roles—as an actress, author, playwright, screenwriter, and outspoken advocate for mental health awareness. For Disney, Carrie appeared in Scream 3 (2000) and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) for Dimension Films, and, in 2015, she returned to the role that made her famous, starring as General Leia Organa in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. She reprised the role for Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which will be released in December.

CLYDE “GERRY” GERONIMI joined the Disney Studio in 1931. His first assignments as an animator were for several memorable Mickey Mouse, Silly Symphony, and Pluto cartoons, and he eventually contributed to more than 50 of the Studio’s shorts. Gerry made the leap to sequence director with 1943’s Victory Through Air Power, and he subsequently contributed to The Three Caballeros, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Cinderella, Peter Pan, and One Hundred and One Dalmatians. He also directed segments for television’s Mickey Mouse Club and contributed to episodes of Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color. The apex of his Disney career came when he served as supervising director for the 1959 masterpiece Sleeping Beauty.

MANUEL GONZALES was one of 33 artists selected from thousands of applicants to join Disney in 1936. In 1938, he took over penciling duties on the Sunday Mickey Mouse comic strip from Disney Legend Floyd Gottfredson. He brought Mickey Mouse to newspapers nationwide for nearly 40 years. At its peak, his Mickey-starring comic strip appeared in 120 newspapers around the world with a collective circulation of more than 20 million readers each week. Manuel was presented a “Mousecar” award by Walt Disney in 1966.

MARK HAMILL began his career in 1970, appearing in numerous television series guest-roles and several TV movies, including a recurring role on ABC’s General Hospital and starring in MTM's acclaimed The Texas Wheelers. He achieved worldwide attention as Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars trilogy, which included The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. He returned as Luke in The Force Awakens and will appear in the upcoming The Last Jedi. His stage career includes Broadway shows and the first national tour of Amadeus directed by Sir Peter Hall. A prolific voice-over actor, he has performed in countless animated television shows, feature films, documentaries, and video games. He appears on Disney’s Miles from Tomorrowland and Milo Murphy’s Law, and has also provided the voice of The Joker in the Batman animated series, a role that recently earned him a BAFTA Award.

WAYNE JACKSON began his career as a Walt Disney Imagineer in October 1965, and in the decades that followed he would put his technical skills and know-how to great use in the development and installation of Disney attractions around the world. Originally trained in aircraft tooling, he began as a technician and machinist assigned to rebuild the shows from the 1964–65 New York World’s Fair that were slated for installation at Disneyland. Instrumental in the early development of Audio-Animatronics technology, Wayne would go on to help bring Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion to Disneyland. He went on to work on the construction and installation of attractions and show systems at Walt Disney World Resort, Tokyo Disney Resort, and Disneyland Paris.

STAN LEE got a job as an office assistant at a comic publisher in 1939 called Timely Comics—forerunner of the powerhouse we all know as Marvel. Stan made his debut with a Captain America story in 1941, and by the next year, at the age of just 18, he was promoted to editor. In 1961, Stan teamed up with Jack “King” Kirby to create the Fantastic Four and ushered in a spectacular new age of comics. Stan co-created an enormous roster of Marvel characters, including Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, the X-Men, Daredevil, and Falcon. He became Marvel’s editorial director and publisher in 1972, and eventually was named chairman emeritus. His well- known cameos in Marvel films began with 1989’s telefilm The Trial of the Incredible Hulk, and since the release of X-Men in 2000 he has appeared in nearly every Marvel film project. Outside the super-hero realm, he has even popped up as a wedding guest in Disney’s The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement.

GARRY MARSHALL began his career in Los Angeles writing for a number of hit shows, including The Dick Van Dyke Show and The Lucy Show. But his big break came in 1970, when he produced The Odd Couple for ABC, the first of many big hits he created for the network. Beginning with Happy Days in 1974, he developed a shared universe of spinoffs including Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy, and Joanie Loves Chachi. His other ABC sitcoms during these years included Angie, The New Odd Couple, and Blansky’s Beauties. Garry was also a successful movie director, with 18 films to his credit. At Disney, he made stars of two young actresses: Julia Roberts, in Pretty Woman, and Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries. He directed Bette Midler in Beaches, as well as in The Lottery, a short film that for years was a fixture of the Backstage Tour at the Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park. Garry was known for his acting, as well, and he appeared in Disney’s Race to Witch Mountain, Chicken Little, and as the Devil in Hocus Pocus.

JULIE TAYMOR is a Tony, Emmy, and Grammy winning and Oscar nominated filmmaker who has changed the face of Broadway with her innovative direction. Her adaptation of The Lion King debuted in 1997, becoming the most successful stage musical of all time; 24 global productions have been seen by more than 90 million people. The show has played in more than 100 cities in 19 countries. It received 11 Tony Award nominations, earning Julie Best Director, Costume Designer, and Best Musical for the show. Her production of The Magic Flute is currently in repertory at the Metropolitan Opera in New York City. Her films include A Midsummer’s Night Dream, Titus, The Tempest, the Golden Globe-nominated Across the Universe, and the Oscar-winning Frida. Taymor is a recipient of the MacArthur “Genius” Fellowship and an inductee into the Theater Hall of Fame for Lifetime Achievement. She is currently directing M. Butterfly on Broadway, opening Fall 2017.

OPRAH WINFREY is a renowned award-winning producer, actress, talk show host, and philanthropist. For 25 years she was the host of the award-winning talk show The Oprah Winfrey Show, which ran for 25 seasons on hundreds of stations domestically and in more than 100 countries around the world. Oprah is also an Academy Award nominated actress for her role in Steven Spielberg’s 1985 hit The Color Purple. In 1998, she starred in Beloved for Disney’s Touchstone Pictures, a film that she also produced. Oprah also produced and starred in ABC’s 1989 limited series The Women of Brewster Place, and would go on to produce many films for ABC, including Tuesdays with Morrie, Before Women Had Wings, and Their Eyes Were Watching God under the “Oprah Winfrey Presents” banner. She performed as Eudora in Disney’s The Princess and the Frog in 2009 and will co-star as Mrs. Which in Disney’s 2018 film A Wrinkle in Time.

Disney Legend Honorees receive a two-foot- tall bronze Disney Legends sculpture that signifies the imagination, creativity, and magic they have brought to the Company. Disney Legends Award recipients will also participate in a handprint ceremony at the end of the event, and their bronzed prints will be displayed in the Disney Legends Plaza at the Company’s Burbank headquarters.

Admission to the Disney Legends ceremony will be on a first-come, first-served basis and is included in the price of a ticket to D23 Expo 2017.

Tickets for D23 Expo 2017 are available for $81 for one-day adult admission and $59 for children 3–9. Members of D23: The Official Disney Fan Club can purchase tickets for $72 for a one-day adult admission and $53 for children 3–9. Multi-day tickets are also available. For more information on tickets and D23 Expo 2017, visit D23Expo.com.

The post D23 Expo 2017 News: Nine New Disney Legends #D23Expo appeared first on On the Go in MCO.

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