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tomdutch · 3 years

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thoughts on uncharted!!

i can really sum it all up in one short paragraph:

another funny, sweet, sexy, and traumatised orphan played by tom holland for me to love. sophia and tati ate this shit up, they left no crumbs for anyone else and i could not be prouder to be an arab and black woman and to see my sisters thrive and shine like this. so well deserved.

overall rating: 4/5!

spoilers below of course both in writing and some pics i took in the theatre <3

• first of all let’s just take a moment to appreciate how fine this man is

• i was so surprised by how likeable nate is. i was expecting some cocky, annoying, loudmouth lowkey misogynistic dude but he is actually. delectable. and i don’t mean just physically, but he’s actually so engaging and very easy to not only sympathise with, but love and root for. nate is so smart yet goofy, kind, knowledgable, well learned. he’s got a very strong sense of loyalty even to ppl who’ve abandoned him and new ppl he shouldn’t trust as easily, but it doesn’t make him naive. if anything, it makes him more heartfelt and sincere among ruthless ppl on the hunt for gold. he has so much love for his brother and almost always refers to him as “my brother, sam” instead of just by his name 🥺

• the relationship between nate and sully (even tho he’s played by he who shall be executed publicly) was granted a lil cliche but it was still fun to watch and i definitely enjoyed tom going off on multiple occasions. while sully was more one-note than nate or chloe, he did have a character arc accomplished towards the end and i liked it!

• i was worried they would make nate and chloe’s relationship forced and just 2 hot ppl flirting relentlessly for no apparent reason, but it was anything but that. tom and sophia’s chemistry and their characters’ chemistry really shone through. they’re setting up for a sequel i’m sure, even if it actually coming to live isn’t confirmed or anything, so i really appreciate that they took the time to slowly develop chloe and nate’s relationship. there was an immediate physical attraction for both of them, but the film shows that chloe has a lot of trust and abandonment issues, and proves that for her and nate to get closer, they’re gonna need much more than lust at first sight or a meaningless crush which y’all know pisses me off and i didn’t want chloe to be another mj dropped from the sky to suddenly be the love interest. but they actually did a great job!! who would’ve thought. nate and chloe clearly have an attraction to each other and nate is less jaded than chloe, but their relationship is complicated and takes a lot of time to develop from two strangers with one-sided dislike and mutual distrust to two semi-friends torn between the connection they’ve developed in their time together and their past experiences and trauma. i really hope we get a second film so we can see them grow closer and learn to let go of the hurt from the past.

• on her own, chloe is very interesting and much more developed as a character than i would’ve expected from sony considering she’s just a love interest or at least that’s how she’s marketed as. y’all know somy is the worst at giving any substance to female love interests other than they for some reason wanna fuck the main dude, but we actually learn so much abt chloe! she shares that she’s loved adventuring and exploring since she was young, and that her father took advantage of her passion and abandoned her for his own monetary gain, which is the root of her trust issues. i love seeing her struggle between her witty, intelligent and self-preserving self that she’s had to be because of her rough schedule, and her more sensitive, caring persona that nate brings out. sophia did an amazing job with the stunts and with portraying this duality in chloe.

• SAM !!!!! firstable who is the dude that plays sam he’s so hot i want him. secondable i rlly enjoyed what little we go to see of him! there was a literal collective gasp in the cinema when the final scene came on like PLEASE give me a second movie i need more sam 😔

• and last but not least, miss ma’am who stole the show: TAT GABRIELLE 🗣🗣🗣🗣 now i’m gonna be honest….. none of the ppl who said her character’s name were clear bc i have no clue what it is. i literally had to google it on the way home cause i was like is it jill… jean… joey… it was BRADDOCK 😭 girl no one said it right. whatever her name was, she fucking killed it, she gave a delicious twist. she was a perfect villain—clear motives, incredible stunts, fucking fantastic lines, she looked amazing the whole time and exuded such confidence.

• the ONLY fault in her character isn’t even her fault, but she and sully have been proven explicitly to have had a relationship in the past… WHICH IS FUCKED UP. not only bc sully’s played by he who deserves to be buried in the desert but bc she and nate are the same age and sully calls him “kid” and we KNOW sully and braddock fucked around many years ago i.e when she was even younger….. DEATH.

• one of my fave things abt this movie is pretty obvious but the visuals are amazing. travel is clearly a huge part of the plot, and they did a g r e a t job with the visuals. absolutely breathtaking.

but yeah tl;dr i enjoyed this movie so so so much, anyone who gives it less than a 3 stars is a damn liar 🗣 as i said in my letterboxd review:

convinced half the ppl who left reviews didn’t actually watch the movie lmaooo like how were y’all not entertained at the very least? it was action-packed, visually stunning, the stunts were insane amazing phenomenal like tom, tati and sophia really put their whole pussies into it. it had well-paced complicated romance, the most fun adventure i’ve ever seen play out on screen, begrudging friendships and character growth, the humour was corny and funny and exactly what i want from an adventure film. i think y’all just hate to have fun and wanted to see all 273927 video games played out by sock puppets in front of a digital camera.

here’s a couple more fine ass tom pics lmao

#uncharted #uncharted spoilers #txt

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unohanadaydreams · 4 years

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I would kill for some awkward sex headcanons with your faves. Who has trouble getting it up? Who applies the condom on wrong? Who yells out the wrong name in the heat of things? Also, who cums in your eye and y’all have to come knocking on 4th division, blinded as you are by the wet ass money shot 👁👁

I can not express how much I fucking love this ask. Here are your unfortunately spicy takes below. @tater-tati come get your juice. please don’t get it in your eye. <3

Features: smut. not the fun kind but the funny kind. sometimes the sad kind.

Who has trouble getting it up?

1. As Nodt. Not only is he scared of death, but of ‘the little death’. He fucks like its the last thing he’s gonna do and will probably not have the courage to go all the way anyhow. RIP to anyone who wants to get nutted in. Your man gets soft the moment you ask him to cum.

2. Mayuri Kurotsuchi. It is truly painful how much this man wants to be above sex. He takes anti-depressants just to flaccid and Logical when you won’t leave him in peace. He’d be first place, but he refuses to permanently fuck with his huge wrinkly brain (tm).

3. Jushiro Ukitake. Poor guy just gets really worn out some days and either can’t start or fizzles out before he can finish. Just reassure him it’s fine and allow him to finish through with his fingers and mouth so he can salvage his dignity and it should be alright.

4. Ulquiorra Cifer. It’s not something with a firm explanation or cause. Sometimes he just can’t keep in the moment or the bodily feelings he has will just...leave. There’s really no tell or situation that keeps these bouts of numbness from happening, so sex can be a real roll of the dice. He’ll shrug it off and continue on without his third leg (wing?) though.

5. Ryuken Ishida. He’s become very adept at shoving the majority of bad thoughts and feelings down with keeping his mind on work. Unfortunately, this means sex can be a struggle when visualizing how busy he is gets in the way of visualizing you on top of him. Isn’t usually a problem since sexual escapades with him don’t usually involve his dick. (Kink master works around emotional and bodily problems: more at 5.)

Who applies the condom on wrong?

1. Byakuya Kuchiki. He isn’t ignorant about sex per se, just the particulars of casual sex, since he was groomed to be a squeaky clean figurehead. And you can’t really produce an heir while using a condom, can you? He doesn’t even know to where begin. He takes the unopened condom with absolute confidence despite his ignorance and pointedly does not look at you when you fix his handy work, which is so heinous you have to use another one. (He fucking bunched the extra latex at the base for some reason, leaving the head of dick no breathing room and it ripped.)

2. Keigo Asano. He’s just extremely nervous and keeps putting it on too quick, catching it with his nails, and ripping it each time. He makes a joke about how his cock is just ‘sort of a monster hahaha’, but he is getting sweatier and more desperate and oh no, oh no, he is getting soft.

3. Gin Ichimaru. Absolutely is on purpose. He knows how to put on a condom thanks to being forcibly detained by Unohana and given a menacing demonstration on a banana after pressuring a 4th division woman to fuck raw. Purely scumbag tactics.

4. Riruka Dokugamine. What, like she’s supposed to know? What’s she supposed to do? Watch porn or something? Disgusting. Learn how to do it yourself. She screams into her pillow later because she absolutely googled how to put on a condom and just fucked it up.

5. Like, every Arrancar. Szayelaporro is the only exception. Ulquiorra commits to learning after the first fumble. Grimmjow doubles down and insists its fucking dumb in the first place. Luppi refuses to wear one unless it’s an appealing color and probably flavored. Nnoitra hates it on principle--its like you’re trying to oppress his dick or something?? Harribel says--with a completely straight face--that the pull out method will be fine.

Who yells out the wrong name in the heat of things?

1. Momo Hinamori. She apologizes the moment she realizes and is fucking horrified. Really, she has no feelings for [redacted] anymore. She doesn’t know what happened. If she could, she’d go into witness protection.

2. Shunsui Kyoraku. Especially if you’re not romancing something heavy and are a one night stand. He tries to laugh it off, rubbing the back of neck and shrugging like it’s a ‘what can you do?’ moment. If you are romantically involved he will get drunk and depressed about it later on--just another reason he doesn’t deserve you.

3. Shuhei Hisagi. He might be thinking about the Seireitei Bulletin or about that party later tonight that you were both invited to and blurt out a name. Like, ‘holy shit titstitstitstits also the captain invited me to drinks later holy FUCK wow that feels soooo good -chan you fucking goddess fuckfuck oh right Captain--’, kind of train of thought. He boards the apology train and makes all the stops--flowers, heartfelt words, physical affection, an alright song cover with his guitar.

4. Uryu Ishida. In his defense, you were roleplaying and he simply called out your character’s name. This will happen a lot. It’s pretty hot, actually.

5. Isshin Kurosaki. It doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes he calls out his first wife’s name and it’s just something you have to live with. Just sad and unfunny and horrifying.

Who sends you to the 4th division via indecent blinding?

1. Renji Abarai. King of awkward good intentions, he leads your blind ass to the 4th division and waits by your side like a puppy waiting for punishment. He just gets really excited and forgot aiming was important. You insist it wasn’t as bad as the time he shot his load up your nose, though.

2. Akon. In his defense, you were playing with VR headsets and he shot his load in good faith while getting an imaginary face full of 3D anime waifu titties. He can’t imagine taking this to his captain and rushes you to the 4th division before anyone in the 12th can spot him.

3. Nanao Ise. She holds a lot of stress, so when she lets go, the result is usually a ridiculous amount of squirting. She leads you down deserted streets and disappears when anyone shows up, leaving you standing while blinded for like minutes at a time. She would rather die than have her peers find out and leaves you at the 4th division the moment they’ve written you down for intake.

4. Rangiku Matsumoto. She really likes to ride your face and it is simply not her fault that you aid and abet her. Of course if you’re going to play slip’n’slide so often, something is bound to go wrong. She leads you down to the 4th and if she sees someone she knows she’ll call out like ‘haha, guess what?’. It is the second time this month.

5. Shukuro Tsukishima + Gin Ichimaru. They didn’t do it on accident. Gin probably did it out of boredom, just to see you squirm and try to make your way to the 4th with him assisting....barely. Shukuro does it because you tried to tease him about his cooking or something and this is revenge. Have fun finding your way to the 4th by your own power.

#smut #bleach headcanons #this was so fucking funny to do #some of these were immediate fill ins #thats how confident i was #mars speaks #tater-tati

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benaffleckofcrowdsurfing · 4 years

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Lazerquest - part 2

Alex Turner x Reader

Chapter 2/?

Description: you are an impulsive bartender who recently moved to London after traveling across the United States and living on the road for a few years. You befriend Alex, a musician who recently got out of a long term relationship, and you show him the ways of your free-spirited lifestyle in an attempt to help him move on from his ex. However, you become more of a muse than a friend for Alex and all is revealed when he releases his band’s fourth studio album, “Suck it and See”.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: none

Tag list (msg me if you would like to be added):

@imagine-that-100 @lolurnotmileskane

Updates whenever the heck I please (at least once a week)

A/N: hi two updates in one day because im eager to get this show on the road.... by next week i wanna have 4 or so chapters up. also if u wanna send me requests or questions or just be my friend u can message me or whatevah, im always open to talk to people :)

**************

“So you’re telling me that you were homeless for 3 years?”

Alex and you were on your way home now, walking shoulder to shoulder and laughing like school children. He had a fantastic sense of humor and was witty beyond belief. The two of you had been playing off of each other and bantering non-stop for the last hour of your shift and ended up getting a bit tipsy before you left. Now you were reeling through the quiet streets of London toward your flat.

“Absolutely not! I could have gone home, I just didn’t. I never even slept in my car or anything I was always in someone’s house or a hotel room. Think of it as like…… I went on tour.” you giggled.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Love, I am a musician. That’s not a tour. That’s a teenage girl living out of her car and smoking an obscene amount of marijuana with strangers in every state.”

You stopped dead in your tracks and a massive smile appeared across your face. “A musician you say?”

“Yes, Y/N. A musician.”

“Well have I heard you in anything before? What’s your band called? Are they big?”

“Not sure if you’d have heard us. We only have one or two big songs in the states. We’ve got a bit of success here in Europe, though. Ever heard of Arctic Monkeys?”

Your jaw dropped. Everything was falling into place. Alex. Alex Turner. Arctic Monkeys. The hair. The voice. The confidence.

“No. There’s no way. You’re not Alex Turner. That can’t be right.” you shook your head in disbelief.

Alex looked at you and furrowed his brows. “Do I not live up to my name, darling?”

You blushed and your eyes grew wide “Oh my God no that’s not what I meant! I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve spent the last two hours with a heartthrob rockstar and I didn’t realize it.”

“A heartthrob you say?” Alex puffed his chest up and lifted his chin in a sort of playful, cocky way.

“Woah woah woah, Turner. Don’t go all narcissistic on me. I’m just repeating what the tabloids say.”

Alex chuckled and shook his head. “You’re funny, Y/N. This is one of the best nights I’ve had in a long time.”

“I don’t believe that. You’re hanging out with some tipsy bartender in the middle of some random neighborhood.”

“Trust me, this is better than what I usually do on Friday nights.”

“What does a big rockstar like you usually do on Friday nights then?”

“Recently? Sleep until one in the morning and then get fucked up at some bar alone. Then go back to sleep.”

“Well that’s depressing.”

“Just be glad that tonight you could provide a lad some real fun.”

At that Alex put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in for a side-hug. He smelled like cigarettes and sandalwood musk, and you wished you could have your new friend’s arm wrapped around you forever. To lengthen your time close to him, you wrapped your arm around his waist and the two of you began walking with your arms wrapped around each other.

“Well, here we are,” you sighed after a few more minutes of walking. “Home sweet home.”

The two of you looked up at the apartment complex in front of you. Alex still had his arm wrapped around you, and you were fumbling through your jacket pocket for your keys. “Do you want to come in? Obviously you don’t have to, but it’s pretty chilly tonight and I’m not sure how far you live.”

Alex flashed you a smile and you blushed at the sight of his hand going through his unruly hair and his brown eyes looking into yours. “I’d love to come in.”

*************

“Just go ahead and make yourself at home. I’ve got to go take a shower and warn my roommate that you’re here. There’s alcohol in the pantry and the glasses are in the cupboard left of the sink.” You let out a long sigh of relief as you entered your flat. Alex followed you closely, taking off his sweater when he passed through the threshold. You had to keep yourself from staring at his toned arms before biting your lip and walking down the hall towards Tatiana’s room.

“Hey Tati, wake up,” you whispered and tapped your flat-mate on the shoulder. She snorted awake and gave you a dirty look.

“Why are you waking me right now?” She grunted.

“I just wanted to let you know that the man in the living room is not an intruder and is instead a new friend of mine.”

Tati’s eyes shot open. “YOU MADE A FRIEND? A MALE FRIEND? WHAT KIND OF FRIEND?” she squealed. You gave her a dirty look and put your hand over her mouth to shush her.

“Thin walls, idiot. He’s just a friend friend.”

“I don’t believe that for one second. I’m gonna go out and say hi to him.”

“You better not, Tatiana.”

“I’m goinngggggg!!” Tati sang as she slipped out from under her comforters and towards the door. You put your forehead in your palm before following her and making sure she didn’t say anything stupid.

“Alex, this is my roommate Tati. Tati, Alex.” you muttered as Tatiana waltzed into the living room and sat beside Alex on the couch. When she plopped down beside him and turned to shake his hand, her eyes went wide.

“It’s- it’s uh- it’s nice to m-meet you Alex,” she stuttered. Once again, your forehead was in your palm. god dammit Tati. Of course you know who he is.

“Very good to meet you, Tati. This is a lovely place you two have,” Alex chuckled, and shook Tati’s hand firmly. She was ghost white.

“Tati, don’t you think it’s time for you to go back to sleep?” you said through gritted teeth. Tatiana shot you a confused look and smiled weakly at Alex before you both went back down the hall into her room.

After making sure the door was closed behind the both of you, Tatiana looked at you with her jaw dropped and her eyes wide.

“Alex Turner is in my living room. Why is Alex Turner in my living room?” She hissed.

You sat on her bed and finally took off your heels. “He showed up at the club like, an hour before closing and just started talking to me. I didn’t realize who he was until we were on our way back here.”

“Are you saying you invited Alex Turner into our house without realizing it was Alex Turner?”

“Actually he was the one who offered to walk me home. I didn’t invite him in until we got here.”

“Alex Turner….. offered to walk you home….”

“As friends. Just friends.”

“Love, I don’t care if he’s just a friend, you still caught the eye of Alex motherfucking Turner.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled before standing up and skipping toward the door. “Well you sit here and have your Alex Turner breakdown, I’m going to go shower so I don’t keep our guest waiting any longer.”

***********

After your shower, you put on an old sweater and some yoga pants. You ran a comb through your wet hair as you walked out of your room to see Alex sprawled out in the couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand.

“Glad to see you made yourself at home, Turner,” you teased, and ruffled his hair as you walked past him and towards the kitchen.

“Only doing what you asked, Y/L/N,” Alex yawned.

“Not getting tired there, are you?” You smirked. Alex sat up on the couch and looked at you with a goofy smile and tired eyes.

“Not a bit.”

“Bullshit. You can stay if you’d like. I’m perfectly comfortable with letting you crash on the couch as long as you let me sit with you for a while so I can drink my glass of wine,” you cooed before taking a bottle of wine and a glass to the living room.

Alex moved his legs out from next to him and patted a spot on the couch. “Of course, Y/N. I’d love the company.” When you sat down next to him, he put an arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder. “For a girl I only met a few hours ago, I trust you a lot. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed someone’s company like this.”

You blushed and did your best to hold back a giggle. “Trust me, I’m not usually this calm. I promise I’ll be a bit more interesting once I get some sleep.”

“Oh you’re plenty interesting already, Y/N. I am excited to see what you’re like at not 4 in the morning, though.”

“Thanks Alex.”

“Y/N? Can I rant to you for a bit? I need the advice of a woman.”

“Of course, Alex. What’s up?”

Alex took a deep breath and pulled you in a bit closer. You could tell whatever he was about to say had been bothering him for a while and you patted his thigh reassuringly.

“It’s okay Alex. I’m here for you,,” you sat up and put your arms around him, so now his head was on your shoulders. You continued cooing affirmations to him and running your hand through his hair before he took his head off of your shoulder and looked you in the eyes.

“Alexa and I broke up last week,” he whispered. Tears began forming in his eyes and you moved your hands from around his neck to the sides of his face to wipe away the tears now streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Alex, that’s awful,” you whispered. He pulled you back into a hug and nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. You both sat in silence for a while before he sighed and gave you a little squeeze.

“I’m sorry for getting all emotional on you, I promise I’m usually more cool than this,” Alex chuckled weakly. “I just don’t have anyone other than my mates to talk to right now and I just feel really comfortable around you.”

“It’s okay Alex. I’m one hundred percent here for you. I’m gonna help you get through this. I promise,” you whispered. You could feel Alex’s tears on your neck and you couldn’t help but get a bit choked up yourself. It’d been years since anyone had confided in you and the fact that Alex felt comfortable enough to let you in on a secret like that in only one night of knowing you warmed your heart. You knew that Alex would be a friend for a long time and you were determined to help him through this.

“Hey, Al?”

“Yeah, Y/N/N?”

“I know what we’re gonna do tomorrow.”

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edourado · 4 years

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Warning - Part II

So I had an anxiety attack last night. What fun.

And, since I was maybe twelve years old, writing is what actually calms me down, I finished this little piece that has been sitting on my drafts for AGES.

Please note that I wrote 99% of it before the latest Avengers movies. So if you pick up any discrepancies, ignore them. It’s already an AU, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.

Thanks for all the messages I got, supporting that I posted this. Honestly, I haven’t written anything since mid 2019, and September was the start of the worst time of my life, so I was very, very insecure going back to it. Still am.

Let me know what you think. Tomorrow I think I’m gonna post a snippet of something else I was working on before all the mess, that I still feel excited about.

Love you all.

.:.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a motherfucking bitch, he can’t believe this guy’s luck.

Or, maybe, it has nothing to do with luck at all.

When he first met Frank Castle, Grotto knew he should be careful. Nothing about the guy said “friendly” or “willing to sway the rules”. They were both beat cops back then, but, honestly, Grotto was fooling no one. This decision of his to “go straight” was not gonna stick for long, no matter how many times his father threatened him or how many tears his mother shed. It was just in his blood.

And, right away, he knew Castle was not going to be one of his buddies. So best to keep a safe distance.

Unsurprisingly, Frank, the condecorated Marine, started, you know, going places. Soon enough, Grotto - Officer Grote, now - was still in uniform while Castle was Detective. A blink of an eye and, what do you know. Sergeant Castle.

No grudges there, it’s not like Grotto had big dreams for himself with the police while he was still in bed with the… Wrong kind of crowd, to put it mildly.

But he had always wondered about that one pesky thing.

He is better looking than Frank. Yes he is, 100%. He doesn’t have any visible scars and a nose that has been broken about a thousand times, and he doesn’t frown so much. His eyes are a nice shade of greenish grayish blue, he has a nice smile. He can do pretty well for himself with the ladies, there should be no contest between him and Frank Sour-Face Castle.

And yet.

He doesn’t get it. The guy is grumpy, the guy is broody, the guy is downright rude, but whenever he walks into a room, suddenly it’s all about him.

Sure, he does have a nice physique, but you can’t even tell it when he’s wearing a suit, which he does everyday. Still. There should not be as many women following his every move wherever he goes.

When he walks into the station, you can almost hear the collective sigh. From the hookers to the badges, everybody wants a piece of Castle, it seems.

Not that it really matters. Grotto has his own thing going on with Sally Burnett from Chelsea, and also maybe a little something else with Tatiana Henry, from Williamsburg. He met this amazing nurse in Harlem the other day, Claire something, and he definitely would like to have something with her, but she knows Castle, and Turk tells him she’s involved with Luke Cage, so he’s not holding his breath.

But then, just when he thinks he finally has the upper hand on the scowling bastard, he gets slapped on the face again.

Frank lost the bet. Fair and square, he lost it. The one thing they were able to really talk about was basketball, and Grotto got to gloat for a whole weekend plus a Monday when his team won and Castle’s lost, spectacularly, and Frank had to cover traffic for him for a whole night while Grotto went out with Tatiana.

He had been genuinely happy then. Not really because of the game, he didn’t really care that much about sports. Not even because he finally would get lucky with Tati. No. It was the thought of Castle sitting alone in the car, stopping stupid text-and-driving teenagers and chasing speeding assholes - or, better yet, too slow assholes - for an entire night. That made him almost tingle with petty excitement.

But then, the bastard had walked in the coffee shop the next morning with a funny look on his face. And before Grotto could even say anything to him, before he could ask about his miserable night while gloating about the mediocre sex he had had with Tati - hey, sometimes you get a little too excited, you know? - the prick was, shit you not, smiling at someone.

And yeah. Even Grotto could admit the guy was charming, with the kind of side smile that would look ridiculous on himself, but worked on Castle.

And then, like a fucking slap on the face, Grotto saw that the pretty - gorgeous, so out of his league it was ridiculous - blonde that also got her coffee there everyday was smiling, too. Directly at Castle.

God damn it.

How the fuck does he do it?

Grotto watched, flabbergasted- as his nana would say - as Frank walked confidently and almost leisurely towards the woman, the woman, the one woman nobody at the station ever had the balls to even try to chat up, because are you kidding?, and she was adjusting her hair and fuck this. Fuck this guy. What the fuck.

“Gotta give it to the man”, Mahoney said from his side, finishing up his coffee. “He’s got it.”

“What the fuck he got that I don’t got?” Grotto asked, and he can admit that he sounded like a boy with his pride hurt.

“Oh, my friend”, Mahoney laughed, and patted him on the shoulder while Grotto watched as the prick and the pretty lady struck up in hush hush conversation, all secret smiles and flirty eyes. “A whole lot.”

.:.

Well, that’s some predictable heteronormative crap, if you ask her.

Not that they don’t look good together. They do, she admits it. Her angelic, ethereal good looks contrasts with his burly, hyper masculine vibe. It clashes but it also fits.

Ok. So maybe “predictable” wasn’t exactly the word, but still.

Ava has been working on this coffee shop for almost a year, now. Her mom’s friend and neighbor, Sarah Lieberman, was nice enough to recommend her to Arlene, and what was supposed to have been a temporary job, just to get her shit together after high school and through the first semester of college, was becoming more and more like a nice career prospect. She was manager now, thank you very much, and Arlene was even talking about another shop, maybe uptown, closer to her dorm.

But anyway. While the second location didn’t happen, Ava was managing this one, and learning about their patrons while doing it.

Karen Page came in everyday, twice a day. Once in the morning, for a tall light roast Java and a croissant, and again in the evening, for a caramel latte, sometimes with syrup and whip cream.

Frank Castle also came in everyday, but three times a day. In the morning - double espresso and a plain bagel -, during lunch - espresso and one single tiny donut hole - and in the evening, just before they closed, for an americano. Sometimes he brought his kids, who got hot chocolates and everything bagels (for the girl, his oldest) and grilled cheeses (for the boy, his youngest).

She saw him looking at Karen sometimes, while she texted on her phone. She saw Karen looking at him while he talked on the phone or read the paper.

And Ava sighed, her bisexual ass torn between fantasies of both of them, taking turns in her mind.

Not that either one of them would ever consider going out with her 19 year old self. They were both officially grown ups, and she still took her laundry home, drove her dad’s old car, was panicking about having to deal with taxes and was intimidated by going to the bank alone.

That didn’t stop her from flirting, though.

“Morning, Frank”, she would say from behind the cashier, just to hear him say “Good morning, sweetheart” back at her, that usually scowling face of his making her toes curl inside her boots when he looked at her.

“Hi, Karen”, she would smile, opening the display window to fish the best looking croissant she had saved for the blonde that could have just as well been spat out of a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

“Hey, gorgeous” was the reply she got every time, which was certain to give her butterflies.

That morning, though, Ava sighed, because, figures.

Karen had walked in and not walked straight to the line like she usually usually did, but lingered around the stools by the window. Five minutes later, she was about to ask Karen if she wanted her to prepare her order when Frank walked in and smiled at her.

Not ‘Ava’ her. ‘Karen’ her. He opened the door, ran a hand over his hair and looked around for about a second before meeting Karen’s eyes, and then he smiled. Charming and still so big and burly, and Ava looked, and Karen was smiling right back, sweet and timid but with a hint of boldness and oh my God. Come on, now.

They said something to each other, low and privately, and she saw the way Frank’s eyes roamed Karen’s face and hair, how his eyes glinted a little.

Honestly, buddy. Same.

They walked to the counter then, and Ava squared her shoulders.

“Hi, sweetie”, Karen greeted, and she smiled, because Jesus, how can you be this gorgeous and this nice? Looking like that, she ought to be a bitch, everyone would understand.

“Hi, Karen”, she said, pretending not to notice anything unusual while Frank stood there by her side. “The usual?”

“Yes, please. And Mr. Castle’s order is on me, today.”

Shit. They’re totally doing it.

Trying not to roll her eyes, she lifted her brows and punched in the order, stealing a quick glance at Frank, who winked at her, the beautiful bastard. With a grin, she moved to get the croissant, the bagel and prepare the drinks.

Honestly. She could totally see it, they already looked so good together.

Handing Karen’s croissant and Frank’s bagel to her and greeting the next customer, she hoped her own Frank or her own Karen hurried up and got there. She couldn’t wait to have this sort of sizzling chemistry with someone.

.:.

Lisa Castle zipped up her backpack, sighing.

She had payed zero attention to class today. Well, it was presentation day, and it had been Bobby Meyer and his group’s turn, so not much to miss there. It’s not like she hadn’t seen a potato lamp before.

“Hey”, Leo called while they exited the classroom. “Your project is next week, right?”

“Yeah”, she said, sounding gloomy even to herself.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just…” they got to Leo’s locker and Lisa dropped her voice. “I think my dad is dating someone.”

Her friend and neighbor stopped right when the lock clicked open, and looked at her.

“He is?”

“I think so. Don’t know for sure.”

“Did you, like… See him with someone?”

“No, but… We spent last week at his place, right, Frankie and I. And this morning I saw a text on his phone. I didn’t mean to do it, it was just sitting on the counter after breakfast, and it pinged, I thought it was mine, and I saw the text.”

“What did it say?”

Leo closed her locker and they walked to Lisa’s.

“Something about a croissant and coffee. I didn’t get it. And then when he read it, his face got all… I don’t know, like silly? And he texted back right away, and he never does that. He drives my mom crazy, we usually have to call to reach him.”

“You don’t like that idea? Of him dating someone?”

Lisa sighed.

“The whole thing surprised me, but, to be honest, I think he should. It’s been over a year since the divorce, and he’s been working too hard, even mom says so. Maybe a girlfriend would help him relax. I’m not against that, I just… Wasn’t expecting it.”

“I can understand that.”

They walked towards the exit and Lisa mentioned that he was picking them up today. Maybe Leo and Zach would like a ride?

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’ll see for yourself, he’s all different.”

They sat on one of the benches by the front doors to wait, and she went on about her discovery.

“I saw the name when she texted. Karen Page.”

“Karen Page? Why does that sound familiar?”

“Right? I thought so, too. At first I thought maybe one of our neighbors, or someone’s mom from school, but I can’t figure it out.”

“Let’s Google her.”

In no time, they recognized the name. She was a reporter from The Bulletin, and they both liked her immediately.

The lady was, to put it mildly, a boss.

“Oh my God”, Leo said, scrolling through Karen’s Wikipedia page. “She interviewed the Black Widow once and now they’re friends.”

“Who’s that?”

“Only like, the best Avenger. Natasha something.”

“Oh, I know who she is! She kicks ass!”

By the time Frankie and Zach joined them, they were excited about her dad’s new maybe girlfriend. But they decided not to comment with the boys yet, because… you know. Boys. Ruin everything.

“Mr. Castle is coming to pick them up”, Leo said to her brother, putting her phone back in her pocket. “You wanna drive with him?”

The boy shrugged.

“Beats the bus.”

When he arrived, Lisa and Leo exchanged a look.

“Pay attention to him. He’s weird, you’ll see.”

“Hi dad”, Frankie greeted, opening the back door and getting in the car.

“Hey buddy.”

“Is it ok if Leo and Zach ride with us?” Lisa asked, opening the front passenger door.

“Sure it is”, he said, smiling at them. “Hop in.”

“Thanks, Mr. Castle” Leo said, getting in after Zach.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Seatbelts, seatbelts, everyone.”

The boys, being boys, were loud and spoke over each other during the drive, talking about that stupid game of theirs, and Lisa texted Leo on the back seat about how they could find out if he really was dating their new hero.

“Hold on, I’m gonna try something”, she wrote, and then turned to her left.

“Hey dad?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Could we maybe get some Starbucks?”

“Starbucks?”

“Yeah. They got the new seasonal drinks, I haven’t tried them, yet.”

It was a long shot. Everybody knows dad doesn't like their stuff, he usually gets his coffee from a place near his work, and is always saying how Starbucks has too much sugar in everything and it’s not authentic and these chain restaurants are not as good as the local stuff, the places ran by families, with tradition, real heart, blah blah blah.

So, everyone was surprised when he said,

“Sure.”

“What, really?” Frankie asked.

“Yeah. Why not?”

“OMG” she texted Leo. “If he orders a croissant”, she went on, after they exchanged surprised looks through the rearview mirror. “That confirms it. He doesn’t eat croissants.”

She thought they were going to the drive through, but he parked the car and they all walked into the Starbucks closest to their block.

Frankie and Zach ordered venti Java Chips, and Frank made them change it to talls. Leo ordered a strawberry and cream, and Lisa went for the pumpkin spice.

“Just do me a favor and don’t get used to this, ok?” He told them after they were done ordering. “Go see if there are any seats.”

She and Leo lingered by the counter while the boys walked to the couch in the corner.

“No coffee in any of those, please” he instructed the barista.

“Sure thing. And for you, sir, anything?”

“I’ll have an espresso.”

“Ok. Anything else?”

There was a beat, a moment that stretched while he considered it. The girls watched him with bated breath.

“Do you have croissants?”

Lisa and Leo looked at each other, and tried to hide their grins.

Busted.

“Yes, we have…” the barista leaned to check. “Butter, almond, chocolate and pistachio honey.”

They couldn’t contain the giggles while he thought about it for just a second before ordering.

“Yeah, one of each, please.”

“That’s a lot of croissants, dad”, Lisa said while he paid, trying to keep her tone casual.

“Maybe I’m hungry”, he replied, a hand smoothing her hair.

“You skipped lunch or something?”

He clicked his tongue at her and reached to pinch her cheek, which she evaded.

“Get some napkins.”

She let it slide, preferring not to comment that he never had pastries like these, especially not from Starbucks, that his story didn’t really make sense.

Maybe he wanted some privacy. Her dad had never lied to them, so if he wasn’t telling her the truth about the croissants, maybe it was because he wasn’t ready yet. Lisa can understand that.

And he seems happy. More than he had been this past year, so she can wait a little bit.

He stopped the car in front of the Lieberman’s place and waited until Leo and Zach were inside before driving a few yards forward, to their place.

She missed having him home, everyday. His new house was just a block away, but still. Not the same.

“Bye dad!” Frankie said, hopping off and walking towards the house - mom’s house.

“Bye, buddy. Math test tomorrow. Don’t play video games all night, ok? You have to study.”

“Yeah, ok!”

Lisa lingered a little longer.

“Thanks for the drinks, dad.”

“Sure, baby. Just don’t get used to it, ok? Too much-“

“-sugar is bad for me. I know.”

She smiled up at him, suddenly very happy to see him looking not so heavy. There was something lighter about him, now that she was paying attention.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, you will.”

“Ok. Bye, dad.”

“Bye, honey”, he said, leaning to place a kiss on her forehead. “Do your homework.”

“Ok.”

“And get started on your presentation.”

“Ok.”

“Call me if you need anything.”

“Ok.”

“And maybe don’t tell mom about the Starbucks thing.”

“Ok”, she said again, this time smiling conspiratorially.

He winked and honked when she waved at him from the living room window, driving away after she signaled she had locked the door.

Finishing the last of her pumpkin spice, she made her way to her room, to get on her computer and find out more about Karen Page.

Her presentation could wait.

.:.

His wife would say, when she was happy with him, that he was such a good reporter, he didn’t know how to not investigate stuff.

“This clinical eye of yours, Ben, you see through everyone.”

When she was mad at him, she would say that he was nosy, meddled too much.

“Maybe you should learn how to separate work from the rest of your life, Ben”, that tone that gave him the chills.

Either way, she was right. Not much got past him.

Not that these two were trying too hard to hide anything.

Frank Castle was a good kid. Ben and Doris visited his mother at the hospital when she had Frank, they had watched him grow up right next door to him, went to his birthday parties, saw him off when he joined the Marines and flew off to protect the country, helped with the welcome party when he came back for the first time.

Ben was there when Frank got married, he knew both his kids, was very good friends with his parents.

He and Doris were there for Louisa when Frank’s father passed away, helped her along the grief, the bureaucracy of his will, his life insurance.

Frank was like a son to him.

Still, it was a surprise when he showed up at work, on a Monday.

“Hey Mr. Urich”, he said from the door, knocking twice. Ben blinked at the sight of him.

“Frankie! Hi!”

The man - taller than him, now - walked in and Ben got up from his desk to shake his hand.

“I hope I’m not interrupting you, or…”

“No, no, come in. Can’t say I’m not surprised, though. Been here over twenty years, I think this is the first time you visit?”

Frank smiled, sitting on a chair in front of the desk.

“I came to ask a favor, actually.”

Ben sat back down on his own chair, and looked at him.

“I’ve been talking to my mom, and she mentioned a book she wanted to read, but can’t find anywhere. I got it for her.”

Frank showed him a bag from Barnes and Noble.

“Knowing Louisa”, Ben said, reaching for the bag. “I’d say she only looked for it at Target and Walmart.”

“That’s what I said to her. I hope you don’t mind, I’ve been busy with work, and the house, can’t really find the time to make it to Queens these days. And she doesn’t want to drive any further than five miles anymore, so it makes it kinda difficult.”

“I’ll deliver it to her, don’t worry.”

They talked a little longer, Ben asked about the kids, Frank asked about Doris, it was all very pleasant.

But he couldn’t fool Ben. He was a bit restless, a bit awkward, there was something going on.

“I met one of your reporters the other day”, he said, finally.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Karen Page?”

Ah. There it is.

Ben tried not to smile too knowingly. Half his staff had a crush on her. He just raised his brows in recognition and nodded.

“Karen’s my best asset.”

“That right?”

“Kid’s a natural. Almost too good. She’s sitting on my old chair, I predict she’ll sit on this one soon enough.”

Frank smiled, and Ben was surprised. The last time he saw him smile like that, he was still married to Maria.

“How did you meet?”

“I, uh… Almost gave her a ticket.”

Ben laughed.

“And we get coffee at the same place, just around the corner.”

“Son, that is almost too cute. A coffee shop romance?”

Frank looked at him, as if he had been caught, and Ben saw that fire cracker of a kid again.

“Romance, what are you-”

“Come on, kid. I’ve known you your whole life. Can’t lie to me.”

Sighing in defeat, but with a lopsided smile, Frank leaned back on his chair.

“I haven’t had anything serious since the divorce”, he mused.

“You think Karen could be something serious?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“What d’you think?” he asked Ben, and he thought about his anwer.

“I met her during a complicated time of her life. Came to know her well, I got her into writing.”

“She mentioned.”

“She’s a good one. She really is.”

Frank looked at him.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you’d be a fool to pass this up.”

He looked towards Ben’s window, apparently thinking.

But his mind was already made, it was more than obvious.

“She around?”

Pointing out the door, Ben took a sip from his coffee.

“Last office to the right.”

He shook Frank’s hand before he left.

“You don’t disappear. Come visit your mother. And Doris misses you.”

“Yes, sir. You send them both my love.”

Ben watched as Frank walked out of his office and made his way to Karen’s.

Shaking his head, he adjusted in his chair, going back to the article he was revising.

These kids.

Good for them.

.:.

He really did like her hair.

The first time they kissed, it was by the water, two days after she bought his coffee.

It was a cold night, she was all wrapped up in a scarf, he had a hoodie on, a beanie that made her want to pinch his cheeks - which was absurd. He was not a man whose cheeks one simply pinches. Her hands were cold, she had them buried inside her coat’s pockets while he told her about his kids - his son, the time he drew a Marine on the wall and told him it was to keep the scary guys away while Frank was deployed, and how that had been what made him decide to stay for good - and she was smiling, more than a little bit hypnotized by him, by this man that was a whole different kind of handsome.

Karen, as a fair skinned blue eyed blonde, usually dated… Well, pretty men. Men that were classically attractive, all right angles and no bad sides.

Frank, though. Frank was inexplicably beautiful. That rugged kind of handsome that she could not for the life of her explain why it worked so well, but it did. Everything about him was so attractive, his face, his broken nose, his jaw, his resting face that looked like he was ready to bite someone’s head off.

But God, he looked so good.

And he looked back at her, that face of his actually doing a pretty job in warming her up.

She doesn’t actually remember what they talked about after that, but she knows he made her smile, and she said something else that made him smile, and then he was closer, her nose was freezing, but she felt warm in her belly, and then he was kissing her, small at first, just a touch of his lips on hers, one that lingered, but then it was a bit bigger, he leaned a bit closer and she parted her lips slightly, which made him raise his hand and put it on the back of her neck, bringing her closer.

They stayed there for a few minutes, pressed together against the chilly wind, kissing without any sort of hurry or agenda, in spite of how cold it was.

“Wanna get a coffee or something?” he finally asked when the wind picked up, and she nodded, closing her eyes when he kissed her again, and that was the day she found out he really did like her hair.

Everytime they kissed after that, and the first time he spent the night at her place, and all the other times following that first one, he would spend a good while caressing her hair. Twirling a lock around his fingers, smoothing it on her head, pushing it out of her face, pressing his nose against it while they sat on the couch, you name it. Frank would always pay attention to her hair and Karen loved it, felt beautiful and cherished when he did it.

Missed it when he was not there.

It was a bit after seven when she decided to call him. She knew she shouldn’t, he was working, he would be there later, but she was all by herself, and it was ridiculous, but she missed him.

Her bag was packed and waiting on the couch, full of things she would need for the weekend, the very first weekend she would spent at his place, the very first time she would actually stay over. His kids were in Chicago with their mother for the long weekend, so she would not be meeting them just yet.

Which was good, she was nervous about meeting them.

What if they didn’t like her? What if she said all the wrong things? What if she embarrassed herself in front of this guy’s kids and messed it up so bad she couldn’t see him anymore?

Pushing those thoughts away from her mind, she pressed the call button, running a brush on her wet hair while it rang, fighting the silly smile when he answered.

“Hey”.

.:.

He does love her hair. More than a little bit, if he’s being completely honest.

It’s not even a thing for him, normally. Maybe because he never met someone who’s hair he found so alluring, that caught the light like that, or twisted at the ends like this, or that particular color he had never quite seen before.

Well, he had seen it, Karen was not the first blonde woman he ever met in his life.

But the way those particular strands looked on his pillowcases, and the gentle and subtle curl of it around his fingers, the baby hairs that kept out of the towel she wrapped around her head after the shower.

Honestly, Frank lived for the smell of it, any given time.

His favorite, though, might just be that contrast of it against his pillowcases.

She was asleep, but almost waking up. The sun was out already, and the birds outside were chirping like their lives depended on it. He felt her feet flexing under the covers, and, granted, they haven’t been sleeping together long, but Frank was starting to know a few of her patterns.

First were the feet, then the slight frown, and then she would stir, stretch and then open her eyes.

Karen frowned and Frank raised his hand. Slid his fingers over her ear and into that hair, the heel of his wrist by the corner of her mouth, her cheek warm on his palm.

As expected, she stretched, and Frank felt a hand touching his chest under the covers.

For three days, now, he had been watching her wake up, and he liked going through the whole process (a fascinating thing to watch, Karen Page). Today, though.

Today he put his fingers through her hair, and brought he face to his. She let out a small whimper of residual sleep, and turned her face into his palm, and that hair, that hair slipped and moved, fine fine fine strands of gold, and Frank moved to lie on top of her, nose on the crook of her neck, her arms around his own neck, hands grabbing her legs and adjusting them around his hips.

“Morning, officer”, she mumbled in his ear, so warm under him.

“Morning, miss Page”.

“So rude, waking me up like this.”

One breath, deep, the scent of her shampoo filling his lungs.

“You wanna go back to sleep?”

“Hmm”. And that hair, working like liquid rope around his fingers. “Maybe.”

“Ok”, he agreed, pressing one simple, lingering kiss on her lips before turning them, fitting her back to his chest. “Close your eyes, then.”

He did the same, feeling as she adjusted his hand against her chest, his nose buried once again in the long strands of blonde hair.

“The lengths we go to avoid a ticket”, she said suddenly, making him laugh, laughing herself, turning inside his arms to cuddle against him, the top of her head under his chin.

He should buy Grotto a coffee sometime. Preferably before he arrested his crooked ass, but the only reason he could bury his nose in Karen’s hair right now was because of the bet he lost, so the very least he could do was treat the stupidest corrupt police officer he had ever to a cup of coffee.

But he would think about that later. For now he would enjoy the warmth of the woman against him, and not even ponder about the rapidly growing feelings inside him.

Later.

#I'm back #am I back?#I think I might be back #kastle #Frank Castle #Karen Page #The Punisher #Daredevil #I have forgotten the tags that I'm supposed to put here #Hell's Kitchen's Chronicles

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 5 years

Text

Of Exes And Imaginary Jonathans

NOTES: The plot is based on @super-sootica ‘s text post. It includes two (2) original characters, but there’s a reason they’re there ;). 6k words, and No archive Warnings Apply.

Also, let’s all pretend this is before Thursday. And Cas hasn’t come back yet. It’s based between 15x06 and 15x07. Mostly crack, but we’ll treat it like it’s serious, ‘kay? Have a good time reading ~

(Read on ao3)

***

It’s been a long day.

Castiel is definitely not in the mood to study the drinks list, but he knows he isn’t a Winchester, who saunters up to the bar, doesn’t even have to summon the barkeep, and orders an immensely cool sounding drink from memory. Or, more likely - makes plain whiskey sound cool. ‘Straight’ or ‘on the rocks.’

He’s Cas, so he seats himself awkwardly on a barstool, waits until he doesn’t have to compete for the bartender’s attention anymore, and orders the first thing on the menu whose ingredients he recognizes.

“Well?” the blonde bartender asks. She’s got a kind look in her eyes. Freckles too.

“Hot tati,” he declares. She nods at him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She’s got a tattoo, which looks like Enochian for ‘H,’ which was probably not the point - it also resemble a heart too, but of course the alphabet is what he registers first.

“Strong?”

“In proportion to the honey peppermint,” Cas tells her and she smiles like he’s funny before she turns around to make it. Meanwhile, Cas looks down at the glass counter and through to the fancy shot glasses and tumblers on display.

They’re glistening like they have drinks poured in them. Kind of like tearful eyes.

He thinks about his day.

He’d gotten rid of the djinn fairly quick, though the healing afterwards had been cumbersome. He’s thankful he was able to do it. Now that he’s thinking about the monster, he’s thinking of the djinn’s alias and he’s soon thinking about his own cover.

Just like that, he’s thinking about the phone call and he’s thinking about Dean.

“There you go.” She places the drink before him and Cas pulls it closer absentmindedly, handing her the money. He doesn’t reach for any change. “I’ll be on that side of the bar, if you want something else, okay?”

Cas nods. It’s a good drink, so he smiles politely as she disappears. He holds the glass with his right hand, and his phone in his left, staring at the completely dark screen. Cas doesn’t know what he’d been expecting from Dean - but it hadn’t been the conversation he got.

Dean hadn’t said a single thing to him.

He’d just updated him on the status of the world ending - something Cas had promised himself he’d wait until the morning to think about - and nagged at him about checking his messages from Sam. Dean hadn’t talked about that day. Or how he was doing. Asked nothing about how Cas was either.

Was Cas the only one who couldn’t stop thinking about it?

He was almost disappointed now, though he’d just been irritated the entire time Dean had been there.

Dean had been adamant that Cas check those messages, hadn’t he? Cas fiddles with the lock button on the side of his phone and takes another sip. It isn’t supposed to taste like anything to him, but it tastes more of whiskey, than sweet. If this goes on, he’ll even end up drunk.

Nothing is happening like it should.

Cas puts it back on the counter, the tall glass mostly drained. He feels a different kind of fuzzy around the edges, but it’s too little to even notice.

“Scared of committing?” Says someone.

“To the drink?” Cas returns, eyebrows up in his hair, as he turns to face the voice. It’s a woman, her chin propped against her palm, and her elbow propped against the slab, and she’s staring him in the eyes.

Cas realizes he should’ve just said, ’excuse me?’ But now she’s smiling at him.

“Nope, I mean it, like,” She straightens a little, and Cas can see she’s wearing a sleeveless jacket, when she uses her hands to gesticulate as she speaks. He never understood the purpose, because it’s not even zipped up, but he remembers Dean finds them pretty. “ That’s a drink which just went through a break up. Right up there, on the got-dumped shelf, along with white frigging wine.”

She’s obviously drunk. Drinks don’t break up.

“So, yeah. Did you catch yourself a commitment-phobic fish?” She repeats, grinning, not unkindly.

He likes her smile. It’s warm, somehow. He takes another sip from his glass.

Then, he blinks. “Well. He probably was that too.”

“Look who’s nice and petty. I like you.” She coos, dragging her stool an inch to his. “Doesn’t look like you’ll be ordering sad whiskeys to brood into tonight, though you’re definitely serving the looks for it.” She pauses abruptly, and turns to the woman who’d got him the drink. “Doesn’t he look like he’d make a good brooder, Heli?”

When 'Heli’ doesn’t reply at once, she turns back to Cas. “Sorry 'bout that. I’m way too gay, but she’s bi. Ergo, a way better judge.” She drawls out the 'way’, almost sings it. It’s a little funny. “Nevermind. Look sad again when she comes back here, okay? I’ll ask her then.”

Cas nods, and he’s smiling without really knowing why.

“See, I’m not sure, but do you need to talk?” She turns a little bit serious. “I think you want to talk about it, now that I’ve gone and brought it up.” She holds out her hand, like Castiel’s supposed to shake it. “I’m Dimitri, if you don’t just want to rant to a stranger.” Cas does shake her hand after all.

“He thinks I’m everything that’s wrong with the world.” Cas says, truthful enough, and he finishes off his glass. More would be nice. “I’m Castiel.”

She cackles, after her eyebrows go down from the 'he’ bit. It’s a genuine laugh. “Trust me, I get that. My girl once thought I got her mother to dye her hair pink.” She rolls her eyes theatrically. “I think she was jealous of how her mother totally pulled it off, but geez, did she freak out on me.”

Cas hasn’t won any medals for being adept at social interactions, but he doesn’t think this is a good time to mention that his guy thinks Castiel killed his mom.

Keep Reading

***

Taggy the list welcomes y’all back, and says: @ctrl-alt-destiel @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @styggtroll @adventurous-blob @petrichoravellichor @all-or-nothing-baby @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect @moderatelypanickedbiromantic @elvenlicht @legendary-destiel @trenchcoatsandfreckles @noemithenephilim @naitia @ladywaywarddsc @zoerayne2426 @hellfire37 @3dg310rdsupreme @thekidsmaybealright @impulsivedandelion @screamatthescreen @feraladoration

Have a wonderful day! Keep it Sailing ~

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alittlesliceofcucumber · 5 years

Note

writing, eh?? could i mayhaps request a bit of,,,, TatiBarb? if you would?

Why of course! Here you go, dear anon :D

Want to request something? Check out this post!

Realization

A Spies Are Forever Oneshot (Tatiana/Barb)

And another.

She’d never really been much of an alcoholic, she could hardly hold her liquor, but Barb still found herself resorting to what her friends thought was the best way to ease the pain. And she was, indeed, in pain.

The love of her life, (Ex-)Agent Curt Mega, had just come out to her as gay.

And she had no problem with that! She was happy that he was happy and had found himself! She would defend his secret with her life! But at the same time, she couldn’t help but mourn. The one man she’d ever found herself pining for, the one man she was willing to die for, the one man she’d fallen in love with… wasn’t into women. It was just her rotten luck. It was like the universe had some grudge against her.

And another. And another. And-

“Woah- Hey Barb, slow down!”

She tore her eyes away from the shot glass and noticed Tatiana approaching her, with one hand reaching to grab the bottle of vodka on the table.

“It’s a little strong for you, eh?” She said, with a subtle smile of sympathy.

Barb pouted. “It was working, though.”

Tatiana simply mouthed “Ah” as she pulled up a chair to sit next to the troubled woman.

They sat together in awkward silence for a few minutes. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Tatiana obviously had something to say, but was probably waiting for Barb to say something first.

And so Barb did.

“Did you kn-”

“Curt told me you ran out crying.” Tatiana stated hurriedly.

Wow. She really was waiting.

Barb sighed. “So you did know.”

More silence.

“Ugh!” Barb cried suddenly. “Everyone knew except me! Everyone knew I was making a fool of myself!”

“He only wanted to spare your feelings.” Tatiana reassured. “And if it makes you feel any better, then I’m the only other… living person who knows.”

A small snort escaped Barb. “How is that supposed to make me feel better?! I’ve known him for at least five times longer than you have and he told you first?”

She knew it sounded rude, and she knew it was the wrong thing to say to her face, but she was drunk and frankly didn’t care at this point.

“And just because I can’t physically save him when he’s out in the field,” she continued, “doesn’t mean that I haven’t saved his life countless times with my inventions! I worked so hard for him, and spent years… God, I’m so useless...”

Words slipped away from her tongue as tears started to form in her eyes. This was closely followed by ugly sobs.

All of a sudden she found herself wrapped in warm, slender arms. After the initial shock of Tatiana showing outward emotion, Barb settled into the embrace. It wasn’t the awkward, professional hug that Curt would occasionally give her after a particularly nasty mission. No, this was a genuine, kindly hug that Barb would expect from anyone except Tatiana.

“First of all,” the Russian began, “I believe you are much more deserving of Curt’s secret than I am. You’re not useless, and you’re right. Curt would be dead right now without you, so all of your efforts were not for nothing.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me, Tati.” Barb sniffled.

She could’ve sworn Tatiana stopped breathing for a moment. Or it might just be a Russian thing. She couldn’t be sure.

“You know, I only found out by accident.”

Barb looked up in surprise. “Huh? What do you mean?”

Tatiana smiled wistfully as she pulled back from the scientist and cleared her throat to tell her tale. “When we were at his mother’s safehouse, before… before I knew I thought he was flirting with me. And so I tried to flirt back”

Despite herself, Barb snorted and began to guffaw violently. Tatiana looked down at her in mock annoyance at being interrupted.

“Hey, I wasn’t sure what else to do! That’s why he told me!”

She paused. Barb hadn’t stopped laughing.

“What?” she asked. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just-” Barb managed to wheeze out. “It’s just I thought that you two were so totally a couple and I was so jealous!”

“Of who?” Tatiana asked, without missing a beat.

Barb’s laughter started to subside and her smile faded as she asked: “What do you mean?”

Her friend’s eyes were wide. “Nothing! I… um… just thought you were… it’s nothing.”

“Thought I was what, Tati?” Barb interrogated, now serious.

“Hey, Barb?” Tatiana said in a tone of voice that made it blatantly clear that she was changing the subject. “Have you ever been into any other guys apart from Curt?”

Barb let out a long sigh as she was reminded of her sorrows. “No.” She replied.

“What about girls?”

Ah, awkward silence, their old friend.

The truth was, and Barb hated to admit it, Curt wasn’t the only person that she’d pined over. Sure, he was the only man, but she suddenly remembered a girl from her high school. She’d been quite the nerd growing up and could only wish from afar, but she’d definitely fallen head over heels for Lydia back in ‘46. Lydia was so beautiful. She’d had long, gorgeous reed hair with tumbled gracefully over her shoulders. She’d had the brightest blue eyes that-

“Can I tell you a secret?” Tatiana asked, bringing Barb back into the present.

“Of- of course.” She replied.

“Curt was not the only one feeling… uncomfortable back at the safehouse. I’m not exactly… how you say… “into guys” myself.”

It was if she’d just poured an ice-cold bucket of water on Barb’s head. All she could do was stammer and splutter without forming any coherent words.

“And I was wondering,” Tatiana continued, “if you feel the same way… would you wish to go on a date with me?”

Desperately trying to regain control of her tongue, Barb felt herself sober up completely in a matter of seconds. Enough so for her to say one word with the highest amount of certainty she’d felt since she accepted her position at the A.S.S.

“Yes!”

#spies are forever #fanfic #tatibarb #saf #tatiana #saf tatiana #barb #saf barb #for anon

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anewbeginningagain · 5 years

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Rock The Rink 2019 - Abbotsford

I thought I might try to write about my personal experience in the show. It’s going to probably be a lot of rambling so bear with me if you’re up for it...

Tbh after watching TTYCT I never thought I will be able to watch another show where Tessa and Scott perform. Coming all the way to Canada isn’t an easy task (not to mention costly) and between work and my master’s and real-life hassles, it felt like a once in a lifetime thing. But between making several personal changes over the last few months after a personally difficult year and deciding to take some time to myself and travel in North America for several weeks I knew that I will make an effort to somehow make it work. Vancouver seemed like the most realistic option and since it was also on my bucket list, the Vancouver show was chosen. When I learned that this will be their last tour (forever? for a while? who knows) I knew I wanted to add another show and with the help of good people in this fandom it happened. It’s a good time to thank all of those who reached out and offered a ride - it’s easy to get wrapped up in the negativity of this fandom but there are also truly nice and warm people here.

So for the interesting part - the show, I absolutely loved it. The cast is truly spectacular and the chemistry between them is palpable. I also thought the choreography of the group numbers is some of the best I’ve seen in a long time - it felt fresh, mature and cohesive. There was almost like a linking line between every group number and the smart decision to let everyone in the cast shine during them while still somehow giving Tessa and Scott the center stage in most of them was a smart one and one that really paid off. The band part was good as well (especially when they perform the acoustic version of their song) but I will say that the decision to have a long break after their set (while understandable for production needs) is a little bit questionable. Still, once the show begins it’s 90 minutes of nonstop skating which is truly amazing.

The individual numbers (no spoilers):

I’ve never seen Jeremy Abbot skate (other than his Sochi programs) and I was pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable I found him to be. Plus every time he did a backflip the crowd lost it - he is definitely good as a crowd pleaser and I can totally see why he was added to the show.

KO is always a joy to watch and I felt like her number was also about her embracing herself, physically it’s obvious she’s changed now that she’s not in elite athlete shape, but she’s just as gorgeous as she was before and she has such a warm and smiley energy that you simply can’t help but enjoy her.

Both Elvis and Patrick were a hit with the older ladies and it’s always funny to watch the ladies go crazy over both, especially over Elvis. At some point, Elvis did a move and ended up right by a group sitting on the ice level and one woman was so excited I swear she started screaming.

Tati and Max still have the tricks that’s for sure, I never noticed how impressive Tati is on the ice, but this time I definitely did. They hit some beautiful poses and overall seemed ecstatic to be there and the crowd showered them with love.

Caro. Tbh I have no words to describe Caro. It was the first moment during the night that I was close to tears, it’s basically her moving on the ice, no jumps, but it was so enchanting you just know she puts a spell on the audience.

The group numbers:

I don’t want to write much because I don’t want to spoil anything, I truly think that the experience will be at it best when you know as little as possible (though I totally get watching the HD videos some are gracious enough to share). I will say again that I think the choreography was more mature and enchanting. It was more than just skating for the entertainment value (which is perfectly fine) but there was an added layer to the choreography and the performances. It was apparent that the cast loves those numbers, they were so into it and truly gave it everything they have and I think that with more time and getting more comfortable and familiar with the material, it will become even more special. There is something to be said about the age of the cast - having almost the entire cast be in their 30s really brings a level of maturity to the skating that you rarely see. It also emphasizes how longevity in figure skating should be valued, encouraged and aspired.

The costumes:

I have to give a major shout out to Mathieu for the costumes. Every costume was well made and fitted the theme of the dance. I think one of my favorite dresses was Caro’s dress for her solo. The costumes also really emphasized certain let’s say features of the male skaters, and that’s also highly appreciated. The 20s number costumes are also absolutely to die for and I’m not really familiar with the level of success Mathieu had prior to working with TS (I know he was doing skating costumes, not sure to what extent) but with him doing the costumes for the show for the second time and also doing the costumes for BoTB I will assume his partnership with TS turned out to be very beneficial for him (as it should, I don’t love everything he does but there’s no doubt he is amazingly talented).

Tessa and Scott

Saving the best to last... Where do I even begin? There was so much being said prior to this tour, about how they will maybe phone it in, about how they will have no chemistry, about how Scott doesn’t care. None of it is true and this show is the best proof for it. Their chemistry is still off the charts and can be felt in every move they make. Their quality of skating is second to none, the little nods to past programs were a punch in the gut in the best way possible and their love for what they do could be seen and felt during the entire show. Scott’s energy levels for the entire 90 minutes of the show are something I have no idea how he even sustains, he was all in, and Tessa shines like the bright light she is. Together they truly give everything they have during the show.

As for the video, it was both heartbreaking and beautiful, they were both visibly emotional and said beautiful things. It is however not the only or even last thing they say about each other, so it should really be put in some perspective. The following Fix You number was also gut-wrenching and beautifully choreographed and performed.

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And to finish on a personal note - I’ve been following Tessa and Scott for close to 6 years now. It’s been a ride I could have never imagined when I first watched them skate in Sochi for the first time. So to watch them being constantly reduced to mostly made up personal drama is more frustrating than I could put into words. It was frustrating when every little thing was being used as proof of them dating and it’s even more frustrating to watch it being used as proof they hate each other and or whatever the current narrative is. It’s bad when outside forces are being accused of being the cause of their supposed hatred for each other and it’s even worse when it’s one of them that’s being cast as the villain of their story (for a long time it was Tessa, now it’s Scott). No one is saying things are the same as they used to be, but the change was bound to happen and does not mean that things are as gloom and doom as people insist they are. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, as I said before some people seem determined to make themselves suffer, but I’ll be damned if I let it get to me. It’s easy to lose perspective sometimes and try to use this platform to fight the negativity, but the cost of it sometimes gets too high on a personal level. So for the rest of the tour, I will do everything I can to keep myself in a positive headspace only, It’s what I deserve and it’s what they deserve as well.

#Tessa and Scott #RTR #I don't expect anyone to read it #I just needed to put it into words #and maybe it will somehow make me feel a little bit better than I have for the past few hours #not let's do the Vancouver show

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richincolor · 5 years

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Book Review: Dear Haiti, Love Alaine

Title: Dear Haiti, Love Alaine

Author: Maika Moulite and Maritza Moulite

Genres: Contemporary

Pages: 432

Publisher: Inkyard Press

Review Copy: Purchased

Availability: Available now

Summary: When a school presentation goes very wrong, Alaine Beauparlant finds herself suspended, shipped off to Haiti and writing the report of a lifetime…

You might ask the obvious question: What do I, a seventeen-year-old Haitian American from Miami with way too little life experience, have to say about anything?

Actually, a lot.

Thanks to “the incident” (don’t ask), I'm spending the next two months doing what my school is calling a "spring volunteer immersion project.” It’s definitely no vacation. I’m toiling away under the ever-watchful eyes of Tati Estelle at her new nonprofit. And my lean-in queen of a mother is even here to make sure I do things right. Or she might just be lying low to dodge the media sharks after a much more public incident of her own…and to hide a rather devastating secret.

All things considered, there are some pretty nice perks…like flirting with Tati’s distractingly cute intern, getting actual face time with my mom and experiencing Haiti for the first time. I’m even exploring my family’s history—which happens to be loaded with betrayals, superstitions and possibly even a family curse.

You know, typical drama. But it's nothing I can't handle.

Review: If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you know I went to the Los Angeles Launch Party for Dear Haiti, Love Alaine hosted by the book’s authors, Make Moulite and Maritza Moulite. Of course, they began with an awesome reading of the novel and based on the except they read, I knew I would love this novel. And I was right.

Dear Haiti, Love Alaine was funny, heartwarming, and heartbreaking at the same time. The novel is told mainly through Alaine’s diary, but also included are emails, texts, internet articles, etc, that really brings the world to life. Alaine is a young woman who is very sure of herself and the direction she wants her life to take, except she sometimes doesn’t think through the potential consequences of her actions, which is why she is sent to Haiti to work for her aunt. I like that the Moulite sisters didn’t actually write “the incident” when it happened, but focused on the immediate fallout. It intrigued me as to what could be so big to cause Alaine to almost get expelled, but then the incident is hinted at and just the hint, I feel, is so much funnier than if the sisters had written the scene out. Alaine is very dramatic, so her reflections on her mistakes tend to be on the dramatic side and that is where the humor lies.

I really liked Alaine as a character, as she has a wonderful heart, but hides it behind a tough exterior. More than anything she wants to develop a good relationship her mom, who is a famous journalist, so she hides that hurt behind her drama. She does come by it honestly, however, as her mom has a flair for the dramatic as well (actually, her entire family does). This desire to have a relationship with her mom is also heartbreaking when she learns that her mother has early onset Alzheimers, which many know is a horrible disease. I really felt for her because I have friends whose parents have Alzheimers and they are struggling with it, I could only imagine how hard it is when one is a teen and having to deal with such a devastating illness. It puts Alaine in a horrible position of getting to know her mother as she is starting to lose her mother. However, her time with mother and her aunt, and learning of the “family curse” and trying to break it, does allow Alaine to begin to understand her mother and that helps heal their relationship. I feel like Alaine’s relationship with her mother is the heart of the book and what also moved me the most.

Dear Haiti, Love Alaine was an enjoyable read where I got lost in the story, in the characters, their lives and the world. When I finished the book, I wasn’t quite ready to leave Alaine, so I hope Maika and Maritza decide to revisit this world and allow us to have more adventures with Alaine.

#book review #recommendation: buy it now #WeNeedDiverseBooks #blackgirlmagic

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tervacious · 5 years

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Since Everything is a Feminist Dissertation Imma blog about Shane Dawson’s palette for a minute

Nine times out of ten when you make a statement and end it with BUT, you have outted yourself as a hypocritical ass who should have the ovarios to say what follows the BUT without the opening statement. Maybe this will be true for me too.

In agreement with most radfems I totally think the cosmetics industry is a clusterfuck of male entitlement and wealth being siphoned away from girls and women to men and male CEOs, etc etc, and I also think the sheer amount of product and time involved in placing thirty-five different products on one’s face to achieve a “natural” look is insidious and a perfect exemplar of what misogyny functions like on a daily basis, BUT

I’m a survivor of an extreme fundie xtian cult that controlled female behavior by emphasizing conformity, femininity, modesty, and lack of adornment/personality. I did not like this even as a small child because I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel. Which means I was a totally normal little girl who didn’t like being controlled and who fought back at every opportunity.

Which might explain why I’m a goth. I’m also an artist, and I’m on this planet, as are you, for a very tiny amount of time, and if I want to spend a fraction of that time adorning myself and wearing lots of black eyeliner, by the goddess I’ll fucking do it. And there’s nothing radical or feminist about that, any more than there’s anything inherently radical or feminist about not doing it.

I have a single small dresser drawer filled with makeup, and I’ve been eyeballing it recently because I should really pitch out and replace about 80% of it for age related reasons alone.

And thus we come to the Conspiracy palette by Shane Dawson x Jeffree Star, and also the mini palette, Lorde help me

Jesus christ, look at that.

I only buy one eyeshadow palette at a time and use it until it is gone or falls apart into dust. The current state of the beauty industry is such that they are pressuring women and girls into buying palette after palette, some of them enormous, some small, but a grown-ass woman owning stacks of these things is not unusual anymore. And new ones are coming out constantly-- to the point where there’s a whole part of beauty YouTube devoted to “the anti-haul”, in which people announce which makeup thing they will NOT be buying. This is a sorry state of affairs, there’s no way around it.

I don’t collect makeup because that’s silly. It’s a huge waste of money. I watch otherwise sensible women hoarding vast numbers of eyeshadow palettes, and they use only one or two colors and that’s... just sad? Apply that to the vast quantities of makeup products, to your lipsticks and glosses, to your pencils and correctors and corrector palettes and concealers and blushes and highlighters and contours and powders and foundations and primers and mattifiers and setting sprays and mascaras and a bunch of others things I forget, add a pile of false eyelashes and I don’t know, eyebrow merkins or some shit, and that’s what a well-appointed makeup afficionado is supposed to have in her arsenal. And all those things can’t be just one-- you have to have multiples, for reasons. But I honestly think the eyeshadow obsession is the worst, which is strange coming from me, because I adore eyeshadow.

And yet in spite of this I have a black stand-alone eyeshadow pan, and one large palette that is cheap, made in China, not great but with a lot of weird colors in it, so I use that one when I bother, and a few pots of glitter. My plan is to use it up or wait until it’s too old to use safely, and then pitch it/repurpose the case for something (it is literally the size of a laptop with a huge mirror in it so I can think of something), and get a new palette. I only buy one at a time, and use it until it’s gone. You know, like a rational person.

At first I’d decided when the time comes I’d get the Jawbreaker palette and mini, by Jeffree Star, because I loved the colors, but now I’ve changed my mind, because Shane Dawson’s not only has a case that matches my aesthetic, it also has awesome colors and, most importantly, BLACK. I use black eyeshadow alone or to set my eyeliner, so I’m devoted. And while all of these palettes have too many neutrals for my taste you can always use those for some kinda detail, and the Conspiracy Palette is my jam. It’s really gorgeous. Not gonna lie.

The documentary he made about the making of this palette is interesting on multiple levels-- there’s the process itself, which I didn’t know shit about until now. There was the portrayal of his relationship with Jeffree, which was interesting and often pretty funny, and touching. And from my chronic can’t stop writing feminist dissertations POV, the way women are the target of this business and yet completely sidelined was a real eyeopener. Let me just mention this one part:

In the final episode when the palette is assembled, each pan glued into the box and then the box boxed up, there’s a song with a woman singing about how she’ll never be Prom Queen. Shane is walking through the assembly line, emotional, because this is his project coming to fruition. Jeffree is with him, and Shane starts crying, and Jeffree comforts him. The song is clearly meant to be something Shane feels.

But the scene is of dozens of women, none of whom will be prom queen, none of whom are about to make millions of dollars on cosmetics, in white coats and hair protectors and goggles, busily assembling a beautiful object, which one suspects only a few of them will be able to afford for themselves though I can’t swear to that, it’s possible they are paid well, the place is unusual, Jeffree makes all his product in the United States, and I’m not inclined to jump to conclusions. But they are anonymously and busily working, putting together this thing, meant for women, and no woman really had any functional input into this project at all. This was, as everyone was joking, Shane and Jeffree’s baby. A baby. You know, the thing a man can never have.

I appreciate film making that reveals truth, even if it wasn’t intentional.

So other than that there’s not much to say. You can watch the epic thing yourself on YouTube, it was entertaining (and good for me because I need to opt out of some of the heavier shit I’m always buried in, yet one more reason I fucking QUIT MY JOB and am now FREE,) but if you want a look into the way the business works on the indy end of the spectrum, not the old timey Cosmetics Corporations but the new one that Jeffree Star basically spearheaded and upturned large chunks of the old business model, I think this documentary is a good one for understanding exactly how marginalized women remain in a business that ostensibly is directed at us.

The reason I think women like watching men like Jeffree and Shane and whoever else do these things is because it aids and abets the lie that wearing makeup is all a choice women make. The men are choosing, because men have zero pressure on them to do these things. Women are taught to have affinity with men and to ignore their lack of affinity with us. These bits of entertainment are a great brainwashing reinforcing device, to get us along for the ride, to hop in the car we never ever get to drive. And none of it is intentional, which is the best part. As smart as Shane is, the joy of being male is you just take things, casually, as your birthright. You’re totally entitled to make a nine-hour epic following your friends and family, unapologetically, put it on the internet, and get accolades, including the one I’m writing right now. You’re entitled to dictate the facts as if they contain a great truth. You can be totally unaware of the impact your decisions have for the greater bad. You can think you’re helping your sister-in-law through her crisis created by the very culture you are responsible for while mocking the women she blames for making her feel bad. This set of films is a monolithic treat for a radical woman to confront. And I hope, since there’s truth hidden in plain sight throughout, that a lot of other women and girls will see it too. Will notice the few females scattered throughout the film, consulted in the most cursory way, knowing they have to perform or they’re replaceable. I’m an Old, and used to seeing the real world, which has looked like this all my life. I don’t know what a fifteen year-old will see.

Tati Westbrook also released a new eyeshadow palette last week I think, and since people think if she puts out a forty-five minute video she’s talking too much, she naturally did not film a massive docudrama showcasing her Eyeshadow Palette Journey or whatever I could imagine her saying. Thus she was very much overshadowed by something that won’t appear for sale until tomorrow. I have no doubt she’ll do well, but will she make twenty million dollars? Will she do as well as she could have if she were a man?

Should anyone, off of what is essentially bullshit? Pretty, gorgeous bullshit? Of course not. That’s the actual feminist conclusion, it doesn’t matter if a male or a female is profitting off of, essentially, the insecurities and desires for cool new things and to be hip and liked and looked up to, which all of us have to some extent in some arena. I’m not immune to it either, ain’t lying again. It’s always an unseemly pleasure to have someone half my age ask me what I’m wearing and where I got it. Capitalism has conditioned all of us to associate material things with social acceptance and admiration, and if you are a materialist person like I am, that association comes very easily.

Anyway, that’s it, that’s the bit. I have no doubt this thing will sell out in approximately two hours, which will happen without me because my old eyeshadow palette still works.

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onisiondrama · 5 years

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Apparently onion is tagging jeffree star tryna start beef that he sexually harassed him 7 years ago? I mean why bring it up now if not to cause more drama for views...

I agree. I think it’s because the James Charles controversy. James was exposed for allegedly using his fame and money to manipulate straight guys into sleeping with him among other things. James has since lost 3 million subscribers and made mainstream news. The expose video, “bye sister”, has almost 40 million views and Tati (the youtuber that made the video) gained 4 million subscribers since uploading the video. Greg probably thinks he might get similar attention for exposing Jeffree.

This is the second time he’s tried to gain attention by claiming Jeffree sexually harassed him. He needs to realize no one is going to take him seriously because no one trusts him. Especially after he went on that “shane is a pedo” campaign.

Anyway here’s a timeline

Greg and Jeffree encountered each other around 2011 through Shiloh’s music producer. According to Greg, Jeffree allegedly called Greg a f*ggot over and over and said Greg “liked to guzzle cum” and “loved penis” while Greg sat on a couch and awkwardly laughed. Greg has brought this up as a funny/interesting story in the past, like the 2015 video, "Why Do People Hate Blood On The Dance Floor (+ Dahvie Vanity)”.

The first time Greg claimed he was sexually harassed by Jeffree was August 2018 (right after Shane released his highly successful Jeffree Star video series). Greg claimed he didn’t realize he was sexually harassed until now because he didn’t know Jeffree was gay, despite calling Jeffree a “hot gay guy” in the 2013 video “Jeffree Star & Game of Thrones (Why Don’t People Like Them?)”. His logic was: since he now realized Jeffree was gay, that means he was the gender Jeffree was sexually attracted to, which makes what Jeffree said sexual harassment because if a straight guy said that to a woman (he replaces f*g with slut), that would be sexual harassment.

And here is a clip of Greg making a joke about Jeffree being molested shortly after he claimed Jeffree sexually harassed him.

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opinionatedpieces · 5 years

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Cancel Culture and the Effects it has on Actual Human Beings

I’m aware most people are sick and tired of the typical “Cancel Culture is bad” and “Don’t make assumptions without evidence” and so forth. However, depending on the topic, it’s stupidly difficult to consider the facts when something horrible ALLEGEDLY happened; usually these events would require the authorities to be involved in some way or talking things out in private, instead, there are people who talk about private events in a public fashion, without speaking in private or contacting the authorities. This year we have seen multiple instances of public figures being slandered due to a “mistake” or someone’s personal vendetta against them; I understand that it’s hard to tell someone how you truly feel about them, but it’s worse to LIE about it to an impressionable audience and to yourself as well.

The biggest example I can think of that pretty much highlighted how quickly a celebrity’s fanbase can go against them is the James Charles situation, this event occurred because Mr.Charles chose to promote a beauty product that rivaled the product of a friend of his, keep in mind, these two people were close. Then, the friend lashed out and made a call-out video, the waterworks and all were included; this person is a woman known as Tati, a 37-year-old married woman with a career made, who had a vendetta against a 19-year-old young man. I put emphasis on their ages because she already has her life set out for her, while she, destroyed someone else’s career, someone who barely had a career in the first place. She claimed he sexually harassed a straight man who was a waiter at some restaurant they were in and he said a joke that wouldn’t come off as funny to an outsider, however, this joke was a reoccurring one and she conveniently uses it as a tool against him, later on, that same waiter says that he’s bisexual and that he was into Mr.Charles at first but then called him a pretty bad kisser, which was funny, but it contradicts that woman’s story.

As the result of all of that, Mr.Charles’s audience turned against him to the point where outsiders became blatantly homophobic, this greatly affected Mr.Charles’s mental health as many stories were surfacing about him being some type of pervert for straight men, all these stories were false and their only purpose was to continue to destroy the image of this teenager. James Charles made the mistake of releasing a video trying to explain himself at his most vulnerable, he was clearly aware of his previous emotional state when he made a second video that was calmer, thought out, and overall, NO CRYING. Personally, as any viewer, I don’t like seeing public figures cry on video if it’s not something that would make someone cry without realizing it, like when someone tears up when they think about a traumatic event or talk about something they’d rather forget, those people might not even realize they’re crying; usually they edit that stuff out if it’s not a raw video. Usually if it’s done on purpose, the only reason they do that is because crying generates views and makes your audience feel sympathy for you in some way.

What grinds my gears is how disingenuous it looks when a public figure cries on camera, ESPECIALLY if I see editing throughout the video, it’s like the CS:GO Gambling website apology video by Trevor Martin. To put it briefly, it promoted gambling to young impressionable children. His apology wasn't sincere and it was meant to manipulate his audience as well; that makes me very angry, because that’s no different to me than spitting on my face and expect me not to have a violent reaction to that, it’s disgusting and it shows just how much literal human garbage exists on the planet. Which is why I appreciated the video Mr.Charles made, it was calm and collected, he addressed the accusations with his own evidence to debunk Tati’s allegations, and he ended it with an obviously passive-aggressive, but well deserved, “Bye Sister”, considering his catchphrase is “Hi Sisters”, it’s the nail in the coffin for Tati’s credibility.

However, James Charles isn’t the only one who fell victim to false allegations and cancel culture, a Youtube commentator known as Slazo was accused of rape by a former friend, the reason for the accusation had little to no weight, the young lady along with Slazo’s group of friends just wanted a reason to not associate with him anymore. Sure, maybe Slazo isn’t or wasn’t a good person, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t justify an accusation like that. Brilliantly, his “group of friends” opted to basically destroy his life; because that’s appropriate when a bunch of teenagers just decide to accuse someone of rape, everyone involved is a child, sure, they’re adults based on age, but the way this was handled? Nah, they’re all a bunch of muppets if you ask me. The girl who accused him of rape recently tried to commit suicide and was taken to a Mental institution, as horrible as that is, I know it’s because she doesn’t want to face the repercussions of a false allegation and the inevitable consequences of getting eaten alive by those who stood by her; to me, that attempt only confirms what many people know, they’re all children and like children, they don’t understand how serious the effects of an accusation like that can have, Slazo’s career is ruined, whether they meant to do that or not, and they DID because its rape he was accused of, the deed is done.

Maybe it’s because I grew up in a different environment, or maybe it’s because I plan to have a career in law enforcement, I don’t know. But what I DO know, is that people are incredibly misinformed, they don’t take that extra mile to question people when they make serious allegations. With Slazo, this girl didn’t go the police, there’s no record of her contacting the police, filing a report, nothing from her; but yet, people chose to believe her. Instead of making sure if the accusation was legit, very few people demanded proof that she went to law enforcement first before going online. I’m well aware it’s incredibly difficult for victims of abuse to report their trauma and admit it happened to them online where you are vulnerable to intense scrutiny and skepticism. However, going online to slander or create libel against a person is disgusting, I'm talking about the people who do this knowing they’re not going to report it, hoping to gain “Justice”, it’s an act, a disgusting act. It happened with Tobuscus, a gaming YouTuber who even played a role in the annoying orange in Cartoon Network, had his life destroyed by some woman. Her claims were false, she intended to cause harm, and yet that event seems to slip everyone’s mind, these women need to be held accountable for their actions, they only hurt real victims.

I’d like to take note that I know little to nothing about these people, I am an outsider, I had to learn this and search for credible evidence. I don’t watch their videos, I don’t much care for them either, but I do care about how they ended up where they are now because those are very real things that can happen at a local scale, and that scares me.

#cancel culture #James Charles #Slazo #False Allegations #Suicide Attempt #Metal Health #Mentions of Rape #Mentions of Abuse

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