#Tbh they reached some career with their arts

[t00thpasteface]

the thing about academic literature is that sometimes incredibly complex hyperspecific terminology and phrasing really is the best, clearest, most efficient way to communicate a concept while minimizing nuance and potential for misinterpretation. tbh it drives me up the wall when people take that personally and misconstrue it as elitism and deliberate obfuscation when the goal is to be as objective as possible in such an inherently subjective medium as written language. obvs some authors take it to an extreme— pretty common disclaimer for humans in general— but the rule of thumb is if you can choose between a common word or phrase that kinda matches the thing you need to say and has a variety of colloquial meanings, and a niche word that has exactly one definition, you should pick the niche one every time.

the other thing is that most academic literature is aimed at other academics, because that's who it's most vital and time-sensitive to reach with the info. entry-level science communication geared toward the layperson should not be expected from interacademic communication and scientific journals, the same way you wouldn't tell two ESL spanish-speaking people to speak english when chatting privately in their own home.

on top of all that, i think people criminally undervalue teachers and public speakers. "simple english" is deceptive; it's an entirely separate skill (and honestly an art form) to rephrase something complex into simpler terms, even if you know the actual concept front to back. asking someone who deals almost exclusively in academic vernacular to suddenly try and write in simple english for a layperson is an extremely tall order and devalues both the work they put into developing that academic-language mindset and the equally impressive work of educators who actually are able to perform that translation work and regularly do so as a career

[vigilantethot]

DRIVING ME CRAZY

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x villain!reader

Summary: You’re a villain who steals and hops dimensions. Miguel is irritated. 

A/N: I had this concept in my head and I just had to write it. Maybe I'll make it a fic one day. I say reader is a villain but she's mostly good tbh. Just a lil selfish and a crybaby lol

Becoming a villain was the best career choice you ever made. The moral satisfaction of being a hero was great, but it wasn’t paying the bills. Sure, helping the world become a better place was cool and all- but it wasn’t enough. You liked having nice things. Cute designer shoes, nice furniture for your apartment, and 26’ bundles weren’t cheap, and you were not going to live the life you deserve by saving kittens and stopping small drug dealers. You’re a powerful superhuman, and you knew that monetizing your powers would get you everything you deserved. So, you did some digging, made some connections, and started doing “jobs” for unsavory people. You refused to be a hitman, having all that on your conscience was not worth it, so you settled on doing theft, trespassing, and other unscrupulous things for cash. Not long after that, the cash started rolling in and you were finally living the life you wanted to.

You discovered your powers at age 10 after accidentally cloning yourself at a sleepover out of fear, while watching a horror movie. Over time, you discovered that you had more powers than just Bio-Fission. You had the power of energy projection, possession, telekinesis, resurrection, and teleportation. You were basically a very powerful witch. Your parents pulled you out of school as your powers grew in your teenage years, as your powers were very hard to control at first, and often your powers only came out when you were in emotional distress. You didn't mind being homeschooled, as your friends started to avoid you out of fear, and you were tired of eating lunch at a table by yourself. You used these years to learn as much as possible about your abilities and learn how to wield them. When you reached 18, you moved out of your parents house and started a new life in New York City. You kept a low profile, making a few friends but you never divulged the information about your powers to them. 

About two years into your stay in NYC, you heard about a Spiderman. A man with superhuman strength and a red and black costume, fighting crime in Brooklyn. You were inspired, it WAS possible to use your powers and be accepted and loved! You made a makeshift costume, a simple black long sleeve shirt and black leggings. You put a masquerade mask on your face, not knowing how to sew and contract a mask like Spiderman. You started fighting crime in Manhattan, making the city a better place one day at a time. 

Then, at 24 years old, you’d had enough of trying to save the city. It wasn’t paying the bills, and you didn't want to depend on your parents your whole life. So you made the switch. 

FIRST MEETING

Finding out you could teleport through dimensions exponentially increased your salary. You weren’t just doing jobs for disgustingly rich people on your Earth, you could go anywhere! You made a name for yourself on your Earth, many rich and powerful people sought you out to steal a priceless art piece or artifact for them. Business was booming, and you started to be on Spiderman and other heroes radars. With heroes on your ass, you thought it would be best to travel to other dimensions and do jobs, until the heat was off you. 

That’s how you found yourself on Earth-928B. Some greedy CEO hired you to take something for him, a rare Diamond located in a highly secured safe. This diamond was not for sale, but the CEO insisted he needed it for his collection, so when the $200k check cleared, you made your way to the safe and started to execute your plan. Your game plan was simple, teleport into the safe, grab the diamond, and teleport out. You were then to call your boss for the evening and make your way to the drop off location, in the Four Seasons parking lot, where you were staying for the “job”.

Unbeknownst to you, Miguel O’Hara, this dimension’s Spiderman, was on your heels. He didn't really care about the crime you committed, but you were an anomaly and your presence in his universe was a threat. He got Lyla to track what hotel room you were staying in at the Four Seasons, and he knew you would be back right after the job. So he waited. He examined your room, looking for nothing in particular. You took very little with you. He found a small bag next to the bed, filled with some clothes and various toiletries. Yes, he knew he was invading your privacy, but he was intrigued by you for some reason. How were you able to just hop through dimensions? Lyla informed him about your various warrants throughout the multiverse, as well as your secret identity. He looked at your drivers license picture a bit too long, enchanted by your brown skin and bright smile. You were beautiful, and he admired your picture for a few more seconds before going back to rummaging through your bag. Your scent was very appetizing, the smell of lavender and shea butter filling his nostrils and calling to him. He came across a sexy black and red lace thong, and shamelessly held up up and nodded his head in approval. You were clearly a very stylish, sexy woman with expensive taste, just his type. Too bad he had to arrest you and forcefully send you home. 

He heard a key card go into the door, and he quickly stuffed the panties back in the bag and scrambled to a hiding spot behind the door in the dark en suite bathroom. He watched through the crack in the door and waited until you took your shoes off and moved toward the bed. You plopped on the bed, pulling out your phone and scrolled mindlessly. 

God, she really should work on her situational awareness. 

Miguel quietly made his way from behind the open door, and moved to stand in the dark bathroom doorway. You were facing away from him, playing some water sorting game on your phone as he silently made his way to the bed to grab and restrain you. 

Until his watch made a beeping sound. 

You moved impossibly fast, and he found himself impressed with you as you quickly stood up and projected an energy ball at him, causing the spot in his suit where you hit him to glitch. 

The masked intruder in your room stood completely still. He slowly raised his massive gloved hands, and you took in his appearance with wide eyes as you started to feel fear for the first time in a while. Fuck, he was huge. His stature was intimidating, and as you looked at the emblem on his chest, you started to breath harder. This colossal Spiderman is in your hotel room, and although you were very powerful, you didn't know what he was capable of. Your earths Spiderman had almost caught you once, and if he was as strong as that one, you knew you wouldn’t win this fight. 

“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” 

You noticed a slight accent to his words, and if you weren’t so scared you would think his voice was sexy. 

“What do you want then?” 

You spoke in a whisper, too frightened to raise your voice. He had super hearing anyway. 

“Im here to take you back to Earth 1610. Its dangerous for you to be here.”

Fuck, he knew who you were. 

He was definitely going to take you back to your Earth and give you to your earths Spiderman. You would rather die then spend your life in that prison they stick all the villains in. You tried to will yourself to teleport the fuck out of there but your powers never worked how you wanted when you were this upset. Of course. 

You made a split decision and bolted to the door, very fast, but not fast enough. Spiderman grabbed your arms from behind and you knew you couldn’t fight him off. So you cloned yourself. 

You didn't look back to see his reaction, not that you could see any expression on that mask. You bolted out of the door and made your way to the stairwell. You couldn’t just leave your clone behind, if she were to be harmed or taken you wouldn’t be able to leave without suffering. Your clone was an extension of you, a perfect mirror of yourself and if you were to leave her behind it could fracture your mind beyond repair. You would also rather die than live your days as an insane witch. 

If you were calm enough, you could will your clone to come back into your mind. You took a few deep breaths and closed your eyes. You weren’t far from your room in this stairwell, so you were quickly able to find that invisible rope that connects your minds and yanked her back. You’re attempt was successful, and feeling whole again, you teleported to a random dimension in order the get the hell away from there. You made a mental note to never do a job on that Earth again. 

Meanwhile, back in the hotel room, Miguel cursed loudly at his failure. He then made a promise to find you, before you end up traveling universes again and possibly destroying them for your own selfish gain. 

SECOND MEETING

After almost being caught by the Behemoth Spiderman, you decided not to take any jobs for a while and lay low. You chose a random Earth again, and bought a room in a luxury resort on the beach in the Maldives. You spent your days drinking daiquiris and being served Caviar by the pool. You had been working so much that you had to spare no expenses, you had more than enough money to live lavishly for a while at least. Your mind often wondered towards that Spiderman you encountered. Your Earths Spider man was a young kid, the only one alive after the death of the older Spiderman. Neither Spiderman was as big as the one you encountered, and you wondered how many other variations of Spiderman there were. And how many of them knew who you were? Shit, how many variations of you were there? The mere thought of this was overwhelming, and you quickly got up to from the Pool chair you were lounging in and made your way to the bar to get another drink, hoping a buzz would kill your existential dread. 

When that didn't work, you decided to just go back to your room and watch some reality TV and relax. You had been living this lifestyle for almost a year, and you were starting to get tired of no romantic or even platonic relationships. You had lovers in the past, but due to your lifestyle they never lasted long. You longed for a stable life now, the villain life was getting old. But you were in too deep to go back now. 

You finally made it to your room, taking your shoes off and plopping on the couch in the living room of your spacious suite. You kicked your feet up and turned on the TV, ready to watch some petty arguments and pointless drama. 

“What did I tell you about being in universes that you don’t belong in?”

You froze as you heard that familiar deep voice with that accent behind you. Behemoth Spiderman made his way from behind you and stood in front of you on the couch with closed fists, caging you in. He must’ve been in the bedroom waiting for you. 

Your mind was racing, as you looked at him with wide eyes and furrowed brows. 

“How the fuck did you find me??” 

My voice was shaky, laced with fear. 

“You need to go back to Earth 1610. You are putting this whole universe at risk with your selfishness.” 

Spiderman spoke calmly, ignoring your question, chin up and shoulders wide with confidence. He finally found you. 

Miguel obsessively searched for you for weeks, you had somehow fallen off his radar, and because you don't travel through any portals, he couldn’t track you. He alerted the spider society of your existence, and told them to tell him if they have any tips. He strongly insisted that they didn't engage with you if they found you. He wanted to catch you himself, and he needed you to understand that you couldn’t just hop in other dimensions just because you want money. He finally got a tip when the Spiderman on the Earth you were currently on informed him that you were at this resort, your cover was blown on a drunken night when you teleported into a bodega late at night because you were craving a chopped cheese. You didn’t even think anyone would notice, but the owner alerted Spiderman about your appearance after checking the security camera. He then knew that you didn't have some evil “I will destroy all universes” plan, you were just trying to find happiness and live your life the way you wanted to. He didn’t know how you would react to him finding you again, but he was prepared to lock you in Spider HQ forever if you didn't abide by his rules. 

Miguel ignored his urge to get closer to you just to smell that sweet lavender and shea butter scent that he had in the back of his mind for weeks. He ignored the urge to ogle you as you were dressed in a skimpy bikini and a sheer coverup. You were breathtaking, he was definitely attracted to you and Miguel struggled to find any more words as you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and lip wobbling. He didn't want to make you cry, he didn't want to hurt you at all. He just wanted you to listen to him and stop making dumb, selfish decisions.

“Im sorry!! Please don’t kill me! Ill do whatever you say, please, just don’t kill me!”

You wailed, you knew you were in big trouble and you knew this Spiderman was deadass about catching you, especially if he was able to track you to a whole different universe. 

“Just come with me.”

He quickly grabbed your arm and opened a portal to Spider Society HQ. You looked around at the huge building, crawling with tons of spidermen. You felt your cheeks warm up in embarrassment and you felt them staring at you. 

Holy shit, you were fucked. Behemoth Spiderman led you throughout the lobby and building by your arm, presumably to your death. You were surprised when he threw you in a red prismatic cage. You stumbled and fell to the ground in the cage, looking up at Behemoth Spiderman. You were planning to beg for your life as he took his mask off, and whatever plea you were going to say completely disappeared as you took him in for the first time.

“I didn't know Spiderman was so hot.” 

The words just fell out of your mouth without thinking, and you quickly shut your mouth in embarrassment. Miguels face was stone cold and unreadable, and his red eyes pinned you in place with his stare. He didn't acknowledge your statement. He just stared at you. 

You quickly lowered your gaze, his stare was way too intense and his demeanor was unsettling. 

“Someone will bring you food shortly. Im taking you home tomorrow.”

His statement made you snap your head back up and shake your head vigorously. You stood up, still shaking your head, tears filling your eyes.

“NO! I can’t go home! They’ll put me in prison forever! I haven’t killed anyone, just let me go and I’ll do whatever you want.” 

You tried to use your puppy dog eyes that worked on so many men before, but your attempt at trying to guilt him didn't work at all. He didn't even respond as he turned away and walked away from the little prison you were in. 

“Asshole!”

 You screamed. He stopped in his tracks for a few seconds, and you waited to see if he would turn around and let you out. He just kept walking after about 15 seconds of standing like a statue.

You banged on the glass with your hands, and tried to use your energy balls to break the cage to no avail. You slumped to the ground in defeat, tears falling. 

You were so fucked. 

Miguel watched you cry in the cage from his office, feeling guilty. Sure, you were a villain and a criminal, but you have never harmed anyone, and you truly seemed to think you weren’t putting anyone in danger with your dimension hopping. You genuinely seemed like a good person who makes bad choices. 

He hated this feeling. He hated feeling at all, he worked tirelessly just to not feel anything. This was very unlike him, he knew he could be a bit obsessive but he wanted nothing more than to wipe your tears and comfort you. 

He watched you sob for a few more minutes before deciding to do something he thought he would never do. He was going to let you out. Based on your emotional state right now, he felt confident that you wouldn’t go outside your dimension again. For now at least. 

He went back to your cage, and you stood up to look at him with teary eyes. 

“You can go back home. I won’t hand you over to Spiderman but promise me you won’t go dimension hopping again.” 

“I promise! I promise! Thank you!”

He barely got his words out before you made your promises. He slightly shook his head, amused with how much of a crybaby you were. 

He opened your cage and opened a portal to your earth, and watched you as you walked through. He fought a smile as you turned around and thanked him one last time. The portal closed, and he turned to go back to his office as he ignored the protests of the other prisoners to let them out too. 

THIRD MEETING

You knew this was bad. You knew you weren’t supposed to come back to Nueva York but after 3 months of laying low and avoiding Spiderman on your Earth, you were bored. You only took this job because of the ridiculous amount of money that was offered to you. And also to maybe get a glimpse of the sexy Spiderman again. You just couldn’t refuse. Besides, it would take only a few minutes to steal this artifact anyway. He couldn’t possibly know you were even here, right? 

The job went smoothly, the client got the artifact and you were paid handsomely. This could last you a whole year! You were so high on your success that you made the decision to quickly stop at a bar here and celebrate. Behemoth Spiderman was far from your mind as you wandered the beautiful futuristic city. You settled on a nice bar with a patio and had a drink. And another. And about 3 more. You couldn’t resist a good smoky tequila. 

You stubbed around Nueva York for God knows how long, taking in the city. This place was nice, and it didn't even smell like pee unlike your Earths New York. Your drunken haze was interrupted when you heard commotion in an alleyway ahead. You heard fighting, and some type of weapons being fired. You slowly crept up to the alleyway, determined to stop this. You might be a thief, but you won’t just let someone die like this. 

You prepared to use your powers and ran into the alleyway, right into the action. If you were sober, you would’ve had a game plan. But the tequila took over and you were ready to save the day. 

You were shocked to find Behemoth Spiderman being beaten by three large men. They seemed to have supernatural abilities, as their movement were too fast to be human. 

Wasting no time, you attacked. You summoned your power from deep inside and threw the most powerful, brutal ball of energy towards the men. Two were knocked down and wheezing, and you quickly sent another powerful ball of energy towards the last one, incapacitating him. 

Behemoth Spiderman looked at you, eyes narrowing on his suit. He stormed towards you, enraged that you were here. 

“What the fuck are you-

His rant was cut off by a shot, and you looked in terror as a huge arrow pierced through his suit and chest, poking out of both sides. 

“Oh shit!” 

You immediately sent another energy ball up to the assailant behind Behemoth Spiderman, and used your telekinesis to take the gun away from him. 

Spiderman fell to his knees, losing blood and feeling dizzy. You looked on in disbelief. You can’t just let Spiderman die. 

He reaches a shaky hand forward, and tries to say something to you before choking on his blood. 

You had to save him. You knew that he would die. You pulled the arrow out of his chest, and he collapses on the ground. He’s not breathing, and he has no pulse. You had no choice but to resurrect him. 

You put your hand on his chest, and summoned your power once again. You would need a lot to pull this off. You had resurrected things before, like cats and your house plants, but never a human. 

Guess its never too late to start, right?

You feel your power coursing through you, fingers turning black as your power grows. You put your hands on his chest, silently appreciation the pure muscle of this man. You surge your power into him, and you blackout for a few seconds while the resurrection begins. You feel his wound close and his heart starts faintly beating again. You give him your power until you feel his heart beat strongly and his breaths are even. He will be asleep for some time, as he finishes healing, so you have enough time to escape. You press his watch, trying to see if there’s a button to press of help. You touch random things until a tiny holographic woman pops up. The AI woman scans Spiderman, probably searching for injuries.

You don’t wait for it to say anything. You let out a quick “Get him help.” 

You don’t wait for help to come. You teleport back to your dimension, in your parents house. You hadn’t talked to them in a while, afraid that they might not accept your lifestyle but you know they would protect you with their life. You pass out in the living room where you teleported into, resurrections always drained your energy, but this was another level. You let sleep take you as your father lifted you and put you in your childhood bed. 

Miguel woke up confused. He was sure he died, because of you. So why was he in the medical sector of the Spider Society? He called on LYLA, and she told him what happened. He was livid that you didn't listen to his demands, but he was eternally grateful that you saved him. He knew you were a good person. Truthfully, he had thought about you all the time, wishing he could talk to you and get to know you. 

He felt incredible gratitude towards you for saving him, and he was determined to find you again, this time to thank you.

FOURTH MEETING

After making a full recovery, Miguel started to think of ways to pay you back for what you did for him. He weighed all options in his head, before finally deciding on making you a upgraded suit with the best tech, after hearing that you were back to being a hero, this time in your hometown. He was proud of you, and he couldn’t wait to see you and tell you that. LYLA commented on his affection for you,  which he very unconvincingly brushed off. 

You seemed happy, Miguel admittedly stalked your social media from fake pages to track you down. And to also admire your pictures. He really wished you had a picture in that thong he saw in your hotel room. 

The suit was finally finished, it was black with hot pink detailing. It hugged all the right places, and the gear was basically indestructible. The face mask was in the masquerade style that you always wore. He really hoped you liked it. 

He came on a Sunday. He came with no suit on, just casual clothes. He waited outside your house until your parents left before knocking at the door, anxiety at an all time high. 

You opened the door without looking who it was, thinking one of your parents forgot something. You were shocked to see the beautiful face of the man that had tracked you and imprisoned you for a few hours. 

“Lo siento, I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to come here and thank you for what you did for me.” 

You immediately calmed down, relived that he hadn’t come to lock you up. You had been on your best behavior, after all. You gave him a smile, which he quickly returned. He looked hot in that white tee he was wearing, it hugged all of his muscles in the best way possible. 

“Come in.” 

He followed you inside, sitting with you on the couch. You were watching that same show in the Maldives. You two sat in silence for a while, staring at each other. The silence wasn’t awkward at all, his presence calmed you and you felt safe. He was distracted by you so much he forgot why he came in the first place. 

“So what’s in that box?”

You pointed to the gift in his hand, rising an eyebrow. 

“Oh- yeah,” he cleared his throat, embarrassed that he was staring at you in silence like a creep “This is for you. I know you’ve been helping the people here and I thought that you might appreciate a new suit.” 

Your eyes widen in surprise, not only did he come to thank you but he bought a gift too? Could he get any hotter? 

You snatched the gift with a huge smile and he laughed, your happiness made him happy. 

You ripped the box open, and your jaw dropped at your gift. The suit was beautiful, and it looks like it had some seriously fancy tech. You often opted just for a black jumpsuit, but this was such an upgrade. 

You couldn’t control your excitement, and you squealed. Spiderman thought it was the cutest sound he’d ever heard. You pulled him in for a hug, which he quickly returned, melting into your embrace. 

You pulled away and ran to your room. 

“I gotta try this on! Stay put.”

He couldn’t even leave if he tried. He wanted to be here with you forever. 

When you came out, his chest tightened at how well the suit fit you. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He watched as you admired your new gear in the mirror, clearly pleased with it. 

“What do you think?”

He shook his head in disbelief, not understanding how someone could be so beautiful. 

“You look phenomenal.” 

You looked over to him, cheeks warming as you catch his gaze. You walk towards him on the couch, and he stands up. His eyes never leave your face and body as you come closer and closer. You stop when you’re chest to chest looking up at him with your beautiful eyes. 

“You know, you never told me your name.”

Spiderman looked down shyly.

“It’s Miguel.”

You nod, smiling. 

“Thank you, Miguel.”

He takes off your mask, putting it on the couch. 

“You’re welcome, hermosa.” 

Miguel grabs your face, leaning down and meets your lips, barely touching them, as if he’s teasing to see if you’ll pull away. When you don’t, he pulls you in for a slow, romantic kiss that takes your breath away. You don’t stop kissing, lips intertwining like you’ll pass away if you part. You don’t know much about Miguel, but you do know you could have your lips on his forever. 

[unforth]

I've been trying for ages to figure out how to put something into words about The Youth In Fandom and I still don't think I've quite got it but I did reach an insight about it that I think is valuable enough that I'm gonna take a stab at writing it.

For starters, I want to make it clear, there is no "The Youth In Fandom Problem." Based on my efforts running the art sideblogs for danmei fandoms, I can say with a fair degree of confidence that a vast minority of people of all ages are antis, purity wankers, pro-censorship, ageist, etc. Even among people who mark their bios with their age, it's a shockingly low percentage of people under 18 who are being super weird about this stuff, and I think that's something a lot of older folks bemoaning The Younger Generation could stand to know and be reminded of. This isn't a majority, it's just a vocal minority, and tbh...that vocal minority has always been there, at least in my own fandom experiences.

That said, I've personally been the target of "y r u in fandom, old woman? Go take care of your kids!" bullshit, and yes it's definitely real and yes it definitely happens. (I am not old, I am not a woman, I was here before the people who said that to me were born, and I spend all the rest of my time taking care of my kids, so...).

All that introduction is to posit a theory:

The kinds of people who say "you should grow out of it, you're too old for fandom, etc." don't actually really...like what they like.

I know that sounds batshit. They're here blogging about it 24/7, of course they're obsessed! But I really genuinely find myself wondering...like...are they actually obsessed? Or are they just performing obsessed because that's what their peer group is doing? Are they just following along with their friends, mimicking their friends' enthusiasm, going with the flow because they're scared of what will happen if they say "actually I didn't think that show was very good"?

I ended up with this as a theory to posit because is to arrive at "you should grow out of it," you have to start with "I will grow out of it." And to get to "I will grow out of it," you have to start with "I may be into this now but I will definitely Change." And to get to "I will definitely Change," you have to start with the base assumption that loving certain types of media isn't just part of who you are, but rather a temporary persona you've assumed overlaying some deeper Self that will be revealed with time - or that's already been revealed and that you're deliberately masking for whatever reason.

Lemme put it less abstractly (but more longwindedly, lmao).

When I was 16, I was fucking terrified. There were all these things I loved - Star Trek, Hercules and Xena, Babylon 5, Slayers, Evangelion, Fushigi Yuugi, the Wheel of Time, many others - some I'd been into for years, some I'd only just discovered. And I looked at the adults in the world around me, who didn't sleep with stuffed toys, who got into long-term romantic and sexual relationships, who settled into careers that they stuck with for 20, 30, 40 years, who had heaps of responsibilities, and it was so frightening I literally had trouble sleeping at night. My senior year of high school, I trained myself to sleep with a pillow instead of a stuffie because "what would people in college think if they saw me snuggling a stuffed wolf?" That was something I was prepared to sacrifice to be An Adult (tm), something I was (irrationally) ashamed of, something that wasn't so much a part of my personhood that I couldn't give it up. When I left home to go to school at 17, I left my wolf at home. (I brought him with me a year later, and he's now on my bookshelf. Less disposable than 16-year-old me thought, as it turns out, but that's another story.) But there were things about myself I wasn't prepared to sacrifice to fit in during college. I still wore my Star Wars shirt. I still hung my anime posters. I still listened to J Pop. My roommate might judge me. My classmates might judge me. My professors might judge me. I didn't care. Loving those were part of who I was, and I wasn't prepared to give that up.

I found solace by looking at the adults in my life who hadn't had to give up their "childish fancies." I looked at my mother, who introduced me to Star Trek, and thought if she didn't have to stop loving Star Trek to be An Adult, then why should I? I looked at my grandfather, on whose bookshelves I first found the Lord of the Rings, and thought if he didn't have to give up LotR to be An Adult, then why should I? They might not wear fandom shirts, they might not go to conventions, they might not engage in the same way that I did, but they still loved these things, and it gave me hope.

When I was saw adults who still did fan things, who dressed how they wanted, who had cool hair styles or colors, who had tattoos, I thought "wow, what a cool person. I hope I get to grow up to be like them. I hope I'll be that comfortable in my own skin when I'm that age, because I'm sure not that comfortable in my own skin NOW."

I'll have to change in some ways - find A Career, figure out this "attraction" thing everyone keeps fucking talking about, buy a house, all the rest - but I'll be able to love the things I love.

I will still be "me" when I'm an adult, just Me-Plus-More.

I wanted to grow up to be that adult. I was prepared to take figurative arrows, to fight, to slog through, to retain the part of me that felt most valuable - my ability to love the things I loved without apologizing for it. And I knew I could do that, because I already had. Man, the shit people gave me in middle school for being an out-and-proud Trekkie? smh. It was baaaaad.

Time passes. Now I'm 40, and yes, I have changed. I've had more than one career. I got married. I figured out I never did have to figure out that "attraction" shit because I learned asexuality existed and. uh. Oh. I had children. I bought a house.

And I still have a bookcase of manga and I still have a Tumblr blog and I've found new fandoms - many, many new fandoms - nearly all for franchises that didn't even exist when I was 16 and so so scared that I used to literally break down and cry over the prospect of "having" to "give up childish things."

I got myself through on the belief that I'd still be me, and I was right. More than 20 years later, I AM still me.

And that's what leads me back to "why do The Youth think they'll age out of fandom?" And it leads me back to "I can only assume their fandom participation is mostly performative." Because look. This is who I was when I was 10 and read Lord of the Rings, and it was who I was when I was 12 and I started watching Star Trek when Voyager debuted, and it's who I was when I was 17 and I pulled an all-nighter to watch the second season of Fushigi Yuugi, and it's who I was when I was 21 and spent my birthday totally sober and gaming with my friends, and it's who I was at 26 when I got buried up to my eyeballs in Supernatural, and it's who I was at 37 when I watched The Untamed and knew as easy as breathing oh my god I've found the next obsession.

If it's an embraced, realized, adored part of your persona, there's absolutely no reason to think it's going to go away. And there's no reason nor need for it to. There are always gonna be people who judge others for having passions, and there are always gonna be people who embrace others for having passions, and you just gotta identify and avoid the former and find and adore the latter. If you're young, and you love fandom, and you're afraid you, too, will "have to" give up childish things...congratulations! You've got nothing to be afraid of! You never have to change that aspect of yourself!

But...I know these teens on Tumblr who are bullying others already know that because they can see us everywhere. And instead of going, as I did, "oh wow, those older people who still love the things they love are cool! how reassuring! I can be like them!" they think "EW OLD PERSON NOT ALLOWED THIS IS MY ROOM DO NOT ENTER."

And that's weird. When I try to think, "What kind of mentality would lead someone to feel that way, act that way, etc.?" I arrive at: being in fandom is something that they're embarrassed about. Something they're ashamed of, that they think is shameful. Something childish and therefore only for kids, even when the media they're a fan of is entirely made for and by adults. Something they think is made for them in that moment but that they'll be able to easily discard when they move on to more important parts of their lives. Something they know in their heart is transient. Something they're just doing because their friends are doing it.

That's when they'd think "why would an adult still do this?"

When it's something you "know" will be "just a phase," you don it like you don the identity of "high school student," something that'll get shucked a minute after graduation.

And while I found the idea of giving up fandom terrifying, I again can only assume that for these type of person, NOT giving up fandom becomes something terrifying. "Of course this is transient. Of course I'm going to change. I can't wait to change, I hate who I am now! Why did these so-called adults not change? Changing to not like this kind of thing is a sign of Maturity and Adulthood that I am eagerly waiting for, because I believe there's something wrong with being this way, and therefore I assume the adults I see doing this are immature, have something wrong with them, are childish, cannot be Doing Adulthood Right, because they didn't give up the thing."

"I know, in my heart, that I can't WAIT to change, so if they don't want to change, if they haven't changed, something must be wrong with them."

And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is the only reason. People are way too complex for there ever to be One Explanation Of All. I'm sure some of the teens who engage in ageist bullying just think they're ~cool~ and ~different~ and their name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Others are just uncomfortable with adults, with or without cause, and think "you don't belong in the same space as me." Some surely have drank the conservative kool-aid even as they've tried to change and are pantomiming the bullshit they were fed by those around them in new and unpleasant ways. Some think "this media was made for people like me and anyone who isn't like me can't possibly be engaging it in the Correct And Proper Way."

Some will grow out of it - out of fandom, or out of thinking that being an adult in fandom is wrong/bad/inappropriate/immature/whatever.

A few especially unpleasant ones...won't.

Unlike young!me, who looked at fannish grown ups and thought "wow, I could grow up to be like them, they're so cool!", you think "ew, I hope I don't grow up to be like them, they're so weird!"

And if that's you...why are you here?

If you don't actually like who are you when you're in fandom, that's okay. You don't have to stay. If you lose your friends because your interests change, then those friends stink and you didn't need them anyway; people who actually care about you will always keep by your side even if your interests and theirs diverge. But just cause YOU are performing your interest in fandom...doesn't mean the rest of us are. Some of us genuinely like it here. And you might think that's fucked up of us, but it's honestly none of your fucking business. You do what you gotta do to grow up, and leave the rest of us already-grown-ups alone.

And if you do genuinely love it and you're just scared because you think you'll have to change - that you'll reach some mystical age of majority and suddenly wake up a different person...you won't. For better and for worse, you'll still be you, so if there's things about yourself you don't like, it'd be better to start working on unpacking that psychological baggage now, because there's never gonna be a miracle point where you Feel Better And Like An Adult unless you put in the effort to change.

Teenagers...you will not grow up to be a new person. You will never give up who you are. You will grow up to be You-Plus-More.

And if that's something you hear and go "omg that's great news!" then I'm glad to be the one who told you. Take heart. There's hope. You can be you and that WILL be okay. You can face up to and grow from the things about yourself you don't like. You can learn more about yourself. You have time, and you will be able to improve yourself, to become more like the parts of yourself you like and less like the parts you hate.

And if that's something you hear and go "oh god no that's the worst" then you need to stare that reaction in the face and understand that the only way change is coming is if you make it happen for yourself. No one is strong-arming you into being a fan. If it's not for you...then stop. It's literally that easy. But don't take out your uncertainty and fear on other random people who are more comfortable with themselves than you are. Most of us are not here because of fear. We're here in the face of our fear, as a fuck you to our fear, because we also grew up being told we'd have to give up so-called childish things to be An Adult, and it turns out that was a pile of bullshit and we can have careers AND anime posters. And we can afford more anime posters, cause our parents are no longer telling us how to spend our money.

If your participation in fandom is primarily performative...just stop performing. Be yourself, and find your OWN passion, and stop shitting on the people who have managed to be more true to themselves and their own interests. You're not cool and edgy and different; you're just an asshole and a bully, and I pity you.

Anyway as you can tell from this rambly mess of a post, I haven't really gotten my finger on my point yet, but idk. I've been thinking about this and I think there's something there???

[butchniqabi]

something about carmy of "the bear" fame that makes me crazy is how he has normalized (possibly even romanticized?) the self harm behaviours he started when he was working at those michelin star restaurants that when people are like "??? that doesnt seem healthy" he is immediately defensive like "i dug it. it was everything." it probably isnt even clicking in his mind that its a form of self harm because it is the reality of every chef in his position. like what is wild (and tbh recognizable) is how something that is essentially mental and emotional torment became something to be proud of. this happens soooo often in professional art* fields where everyone is expected to reach some ridiculously high standard and people start to take pride in how they destroy themselves to reach that standard. the more you subject yourself to harmful behaviours and thought patterns, the better you are at your job.

genuinely hope that season 2 he reckons with how fucked his state of mind is, and maybe even recognizes how similar he is to michael bc he too is experiencing (passive) suicidal ideation. like...idk where im even going with this lol but its so astounding how wildly different careers and trades encourage the same awful shit just in different ways. really really hope that he gets a therapist bc honestly its very likely he has ptsd from the experience. anyways! hope this gets addressed more explicitly in the future because like. you cant keep going like this babygirl

*arts like orchestral performance, dancing, acting, editing, camera crewing and yes cooking. while i dont doubt other fields absolutely do this it is more ubiquitous in professions where you are essentially the means in which someone can consume a product, which is capitalist logic but lets not get into that now qfgwhe

[saltandskeletrons]

Hi! I saw your tags on my post about AI and I was wondering what your job is that you are forced to use AI? Or just, what exactly are you using the AI for? I didn't know that work places were already incorporating ai in such a way that you would HAVE to use it.

Please don't answer either question if you feel they are too personal or if you just don't want to answer them for any reason at all. I'm just curious, is all!

Thank you for reading this and I hope you have a wonderful day!! 😊

Hey! Thanks for reaching out, I really don’t mind answering, and talking about ai generated art is pretty relevant to my career so this might be long lol.

my job is a part time graphic design student position at my university. Right now I’m working on a presentation where I have to visualize a lot of technology/ products/ and architecture that don’t really currently exist. My supervisor told me I should try using playground for some images and I was just like, ya ok I’ll try it.

(Personal opinions alert) I never used any ai image generation before bc I’ve always seen it as just stealing art. And I have no personal desire for ai writing/ visual art- it completely misses the point of making art to me.

But I am a designer which isn’t necessarily the same thing as an artist- and I don’t really get paid enough or have the time to start ethical conversations at my job. So forced was definitely a strong word to use haha but ai is really looming over the whole graphic design industry.

I know of some firms that proudly use mid journey and with a lot of free software available ai is being used more in low risk, low reward scenarios. It’s definitely not a necessity but there are designers that see it as a good way to save time but their design intent/ decision making is still at play.

But tbh the playground images I’ve ‘made’ look pretty bad and I think a sketch or photoshoped concept would look more sophisticated.

Tldr: ai image generation is being used in graphic design workplaces, but it’s not the main software being used at all. (I would argue bc it’s not good enough yet, and there is a lot of skepticism on the ethics of it)

[kitchfit]

Year in Review: Games Part 1

This is a series I've been wanting to do for a while. Whenever I finish a piece of media (books, games, movies, comics, maybe art and music in the future) I jot in down in a doc so I can look back on them at the end of the year. I wanted to write my thoughts on them as I finished them, but since you have to start somewhere, I'll be writing simple reviews in retrospect. This is just for fun, but I welcome any feedback.

Pokemon Scarlet

This game released with some controversy. It was an unfinished glitchy mess with graphics still not up to the standards of the Nintendo Switch six years into its lifespan, but tbh this game was fun as hell to complete. I loved most of all the new designs and managed for the first time in my Pokemon career to actually complete the Dex. I usually get worn down on that pretty quick.

The characters were also much more engaging than the previous generation, especially my best boy Arven. The environments were super fun to explore and I got a new favorite little guy (Slither Wings my beloved). Here's hoping the next game has an actual sane development cycle and we get this amount of creativity in a higher degree of quality with better paid developers.

Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

If you thought I only played games that came out this year, sorry to disappoint. I don't manage to pick up even half of the blockbusters that pop up annually, and go after older games way more often. That being said, I see why AA fans hold this game up so high. I played the first and second Phoenix Wright games last year (which I won't review since that was too long ago now) and this is a nice cap to the original Trilogy.

You get Phoenix's background as a dorky bisexual art student, Mia's first case as a defense attorney, and an honestly heartbreaking quest for revenge through Godot while never stooping to melodrama. (I love his theme it sounds like the Mother 3 Magypsies). Also unlike the first two games, there were zero "filler" cases. Each one was thoroughly engaging and moved the plot forward in a meaningful way. Though, I don't begrudge the earlier cases that fuck around a lot more.

Pokemon White 2

When the OG Black and White came out, I was in the "everything new is lame" stage of adolescence, so when the sequels came out I didn't even bother. Turns out I was the lame one for doing so! In hindsight, Pokemon seemed to reach something of a peak with Gen 5 in terms of graphics and gameplay, and would seek to experiment with new artstyles and gimmicks for the next (looks at watch) 11 years damn.

With the first Black and White, it focused on remodeling classic Pokemon designs and gameplay into something new and modern, and these games add back in most of those classic Mons. The plot is also very action-packed and engaging, and gives a satisfying epilogue for a lot of the characters from the first games. You get to see how the region has changed after 3 years and even get to explore some new parts of Unova, similar to how the Gen 2 games handled Kanto. I hope Gamefreak does something like this again in the future.

Kingdom Hearts: Re:Coded

Prepare for a deluge of this series, and not in any conceivable order. Kingdom Hearts took over my heart, mind, and body Xehanort style for the better half of the year. This title is known for a fun variety of gameplay and an absolute dogshit story. I wouldn't really agree. The game switches up its playstyle pretty frequently, including side-scrolling platforming, railshooting, and turn-based combat but for the most part its classic hack-and-slash 3D platforming that feels kind of grindy, but there's multiple unlockable difficulty sliders that you can use to switch it up if you get bored.

Storywise, there's not a lot for newcomers and if you want to play through all the games as one overarching narrative, I wouldn't blame you for skipping this one. However, if you're already a fan of Sora and Riku's relationship, this has quite a bit for someone to dig their teeth into. The world's are all recycled from KH1, making this one of the two games where you can actually explore Destiny Islands, but they all feel pretty downgraded. The endgame gave me a headache.

Kingdom Hearts

Our best boy's first big boot step into adventure. I watched all of the KH cutscenes for all of the games during a particularly dry season of lockdown, so this was my first foray into the original. The story genuinely holds up to a surprising degree, leaning into the Disney elements more than its Squaresoft side for probably the last time in the series. Its really good groundwork for Sora's introduction as a hero, I especially love the assertion towards the end that it is Sora's choice to help others that makes him worthy of the Keyblade and not destiny. Its a theme that would be both muddied and compounded upon later in the series in a pretty interesting way.

I was almost astonished at how in-depth all of the worlds are, especially Traverse Town. There are a lot more little Disney references and sidequests, like the 101 Dalmation quest, that help the worlds all feel a bit more lively. Also NPCs, which later in the series would become a rare gift. I fucked up on the combat. Did not learn how to do spell shortcuts until midway through KH2. Despite that, it was still fun to wack Heartless with my keyblades six different ways, and it makes me excited to replay it at some point.

Kingdom Hearts II

This is the big boy that every KH fan loves to absolute death. Chain of Memories had already started the series tradition of experimental storytelling, but the mainline sequel takes it to an fascinating and well-executed degree. For the first three hours you are forced into playing a new protagonist with zero context and near zero Disney shit. Vivi is there though and we love him for that. Later on we would see this prologue as the tragic conclusion of another entry in the series, but its initial presence here is jarring in a way you have to piece together throughout the rest of the main game. It would also introduce many of the more headache-inducing plot aspects that are fun to dissect but a pain to explain, such as Nobodies. I see them as ghosts, and no one can tell me otherwise. I wrote a whole absurdist retelling about it.

The worlds are more quantity than quality, I'll be real. About half of them are made up of 4 or 5 flat maps with nothing to do except grind Heartless encounters, (e.g. Mulan.) The other half are a bit meatier but could have benefited from more sidequests and such. You revisit quite a few from KH1 to see how they changed and that's always fun. There's a theme to each of the Disney worlds that add to the narrative, in this title mainly being romance and identity. The identity aspect leans toward the relationship between Sora and Roxas, two separate people who are also one person, while the romance theme hints towards the relationship with Sora and Kairi. Oddly enough, both themes also seem to work towards Sora's quest for Riku, who is in the midst of his own identity crisis while Sora desperately tries to find him. Huh. Interesting.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep

This is my favorite Kingdom Hearts game. This was one of the few I was able to play as a teenager and even after all these years I still adore this game to death. It works without knowing anything else about Kingdom Hearts. You don't need to know about Ansems or Nobodies or Time Travel; none of that shit. This is the story of three friends that get torn apart by their own ignorance and one bitter old man on his quest to change the world. Its one story split among three perspectives, and each character you play through the game with you understand the grander narrative. You understand why Aqua's best friend snapped at her, why Terra's little brother is so ready to die. You also get to hear Leonard Nemoy yell "KEYBLADE" in the same cutscene three different times.

I love this game so so much dammit. The combat has a fun collection system where you earn action commands and combine them to make better attacks and healing moves. The worlds in the latter half of the game are also really creative and fun to explore, though you get a limited area to move around in for each character. If you have played previous KH entries, there's a lot of references to make you point at the screen and go "THAS AXEL THAS MY BOY HE'S A LIL GUY HERE." Anyway I'll shut up. Play this game.

Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance

Never ask me to explain the plot of this game. They added Inception to Kingdom Hearts and also Time Travel. And the story is mostly told through unlockable backstory cutscenes including the premise. Yes, the introduction to this game's story is an unlockable. Despite this, the story is pretty effective. This is Riku's second time in the spotlight since Reverse/Rebirth, though the game is once again split between him and Sora. It dissects Riku's character arc in a similar way to Re:Coded, except uhh this one isn't a computer simulation, he is a Dream. Completely different. It asserts his desire to continue as Sora's protector, and realizing this it is him who ultimately triumph's over Angst Teen Xehanort, saves Sora and passes the Key Test. He's no longer on his Way to the Dawn. He's in the light. It's sweet.

The worlds in this game are based around vertical movement. There's a new Parkour mechanic that lets you wall-step-flip around basically everywhere, and to compensate this the worlds are Huge. Since they're dreams, that also means they're pretty empty of anything to really do or explore. They are pretty at least. There's also a pokemon mechanic where you collect lil guys. I did not realize this mechanic also determines Riku and Sora's stats until the final boss, which caught me off guard. I see why this is a lot of people's fave KH game of all time, but its a little too busy for me.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

This is an odd one. I first played this game two years ago at college alongside Oracle of Seasons in my spare time. Eventually my phone-I MEAN MY AUTHENTIC GAME BOY COLOR- broke and I thought I lost my save data for both. Turns out I did not and finished through the last few dungeons. This game makes solid use of the time travel mechanic, which is a mix of Ocarina's time travel and Alttp's world jumping. It's fun to jump sporadically between 1000s of years and see the world in different eras. That rock? Used to be slightly over to the left. Would you look at that.

The dungeons had a larger focus on puzzles in comparison with Season's love for combat, which is probably why this is the more beloved twin. Some of the dungeons had me waddling back and forth for too long until I figured out what to do. You can link these games up to get bonus items like the Biggoron's Sword which is fun to complete. After beating both games, you get an extra final boss against Ganon and a scene hinting towards the beginning of Link's Awakening, which is a nice touch. And then Nintendo declared them two separate Links, for some reason. Beh.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

Oh hey. One of the most beloved games of all time. I have played through this games more times than I know. Probably around like. 6 times I used to boot this game up and play all the way up to the Forest Temple and then restart for some reason, I don't know how many times I actually got to the end.

Its a game that eases you into its idyllic fantasy world before dropping you headfirst into the apocalypse you inadvertently caused in your quest to destroy evil. Its never a melodramatic game though. Its about the loss of innocence. Maturity. Learning that the evil was always there, before the King of Thieves took over the world, before you were even born. It even came from the place you are trying to protect. But there was always goodness too, there was always light. There are always friends to be found in dark places. The style and presentation are peak. The dungeons are rich in aesthetics and well made puzzles. The time travel mechanic is honestly a bit undercooked. But this game is fantastic. Quintessential Zelda.

The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventure

I straight-up forgot I played this. Its fun though. Its a relatively short game, but compared to its predecessor, its a huge improvement. The game plays out in stages like the first Four Swords game, but usually in explorable environments, like towns and forests rather than generic volcano and cave themes. You control all Four Links at once, moving them into different formations to move rocks or put fires out. Or you can do it with friends controlling each Link. I did not. :(

I was mainly interested in this games story from a lore perspective. It features the return of Vaati, the Wind Creep who Lova Da Ladies, but with the addition of the Rise of Ganondorf. You are sent to stop him from a wise owl, Ganon allies himself with Deku Scrubs, attacks the Gorons, and is eventually turned into a monster by his own lust for power. It seems more and more like a retelling of Ocarina in a different light. Eh. Maybe I'll write about my Zelda timeline theories in a different post. Not here though

Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory

BACK TO KH BABY! This is a rhythm game, so I don't have too much to say. I've never really played any rhythm game before this, and I'm not sure if this one is on par with the more well-known rhythm titles out there, but I had a good time with it. Its great for people who like Kingdom Hearts music, lmao. You have a lot of unlockable character groups to play through the music with and level them up, but once I unlocked the Days trio I didn't really go for the others too much. Xion my beloved.

The story is hilariously shallow, almost insulted considering its Kairi's first solo outing, technically. She's on her quest to learn all the KH lore she missed out on, and eventually finds a repressed memory of a grown adult monologuing at a toddler for fifteen minutes. Also that her boyfriend is alive so that her boyfriend's boyfriend can go save him. Her boyfriend's boyfriend is also her boyfriend. Fight me.

Kingdom Hearts III

People were. So upset when this game came out. Acted like it was the biggest disappointment since the ill-fated economic crisis of '07. Sure, yea, that's a reference. Well this is the first time I've gone into it and I'm here to say this is probably among my favorite KH games of all time. Strong competitor with BBS. A lot of the criticisms of the story and gameplay weren't wrong per-say, but the issues with this game, such a goofy dialogue, bizarre pacing, and over complicated exposition dumps, are problems with the entire series that fans of the series, in my opinion, have come to see as endearing elements of Kingdom Hearts. Its funny to watch the big cloak guy point at Sora and say "Darkness Light Heart Darkness," and see Sora gasp in fear, while also realizing the importance of that dialogue to the story. It's a feature, not a bug.

The worlds in this game are its biggest asset. They are huge, heavily detailed, heavily explorable areas with tons to discover. Hell, the Pirates of the Caribbean world acts as a slightly smaller Wind Waker. The game adds in most of the mechanics from all the spin offs to give you a lot of toys to play with, such as parkour or sharpshooting, that are easy to forget but a treat to use when you actually remember them.

A central theme of each of the Disney worlds is happy endings. Hercules finally takes down Hades for good. Mike and Sully are able to visit Boo without risk to her safety. The dead Baymax from that one Disney movie gets a redemption arc. Frozen and Tangled play out exactly as their movie which is kind of boring. This correlates with the happy endings the rest of the supporting cast get to experience, including the initially tragedies of the BBS and Days trio in scenes that genuinely got tears out of me. But Sora doesn't get a happy ending. He sacrifices himself to strong-arm everyone else into their perfect circumstance. Literally breaks the rules of time and space to force the universe into saving his friends at the cost of his own life. And then Hell turns out to be Tokyo so its not all that bad. It makes you feel for the boy. This game also lets you play as Kairi in the DLC which makes me happy.

Alright ending this here. I've played way too many games this year this isn't even half. Also only including games I've finished, and games with definitive endings. I played Mario Kart 7 but that doesn't rlly end, ya know? Will try to write these weekly, even if no ones reading them. But if you do read them tell me what you think! Gonna switch over to books next week to even it out. I swear I don't just play games. This is the last Kingdom Hearts game on this list too I swear.

[mzyraj]

I did some more Bg3-ish TS4 legacy playing

Karlach continued to spend time with her childhood friend Guillermo Landgrabb, only a couple days older than her, single and wealthy <.<

Astarion reached his elder birthday...

And if anything his hair went less white than it was.

Karlach made the moves on Guillermo before any of her girl friends could try to nab him.

And spent a lot of time watching the cooking channel with Dina so Karlach can follow in her footsteps.

Cooking is like really easy to level, so Karlach also got a guitar for her love of music.

Astarion's lifebar was filling real fast (not played enough to know/remember how normal that is), so it was clear he wasn't going to max the criminal career, but he did reach Safecracker, which is very appropriate for how I use him in BG3

And then his time was up at circa 128 days. Tbh it was for the best - his autonomous meanness had him and Dina headed for divorce if he lived much longer and he even had a quarter full red bar with Karlach

Widowed single and still wanting romance in her future, we got Dina a punching bag to get a little more back in shape

Astarion's other legacy: the loot he stole along the way <3

Karlach was invited to Guillermo's young adult birthday, they'd already promised to stay together so he's fine to wait (also there doesn't seem to be a lot of autonomous marriage out there tbh, a fair amount of random kid adoption though, Dina has two adopted young sisters)

Speaking of Dina, she maxed the culinary career as a celebrity chef! Her aspirations still want MOAR MONEY but she is earning quite well now and she doesn't come home to an asshole husband anymore.

Well, sort of, but he doesn't really talk or interact as much as a ghost.

And then it was Karlach's turn to become a young adult, randomly gaining the art lover trait. Very creative lady. She also has several fears accumulated over the years: the dark, unfulfilled dreams, death, and being cheated on.

She immediately got a ring on Guillermo's finger and, lest anybody worry, these two are soulmates with full friendship and romance bars so their relationship may hopefully go better than her parents'.

A couple of days later (Karlach had work), they got married in the back garden in front of friends and family. Karlach's hair matches her dress!

And so now we have Guillermo: a loyal, genius bro. No evil or mean traits in sight, thank heavens. He also seems to have some random adopted siblings (his father's gone for a while, his mother's an elder and the youngest of his siblings was an infant).

Now to consider getting a bigger and better house...

[destinyc1020]

I think we can find a middle ground between bashing every single thing you're fav is doing and prohibiting yourself from having discussions about the goods AND the bads of your fav career. I think you can do both. And can still keep your stan card. It's not exclusive.

I can say I hated Cherry and Uncharted, and still want better for him because I genuinely think he is talented and love to see him on my screen. I follow him because of his personality and I think he is a great actor with potential. I don't think we should turn this into a "good fan/bad fan" debate just because you criticize something (movies) that are meant to be criticized. If we didn't had opinions, what would be the point ? It doesn't have to be always negative, and I agree that fans acting like he has the worst career in the world rn is over dramatic. But wondering why we have 0 casting announcement ? Looking back at his filmography and saying you dont like most of it ? I don't think it's that far of a reach.

Whoa wait a second Anon.... You "hated" "Uncharted"? Whaaaa? 🥴 TOM in a wet t-shirt couldn't even save the movie for you? 😂

This is the first time I've heard someone say they actually HATED the movie. But hey, I guess art is subjective. 🤷🏾‍♀️

To me it was just an enjoyable popcorn 🍿 flick with some great eye-candy 😍 Not to be taken too seriously. I enjoyed it! Reminded me of a cross btwn Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. 👍🏾

Anyway....

I don't usually think there's anything wrong with having a healthy discussion about your fave and their work. As you all know, I love discourse lol. 😂

Do you know how many films I haven't really cared for, or thought were dumb that some of my acting faves have been in lol? 😂 I either just watch simply to enjoy them in it, or just make jokes about how crappy the movie was, but I still love the actor and appreciate their projects that I DO enjoy. 🤷🏾‍♀️

The problem I mainly see with SOME of Tom's fans however is that it seems like this "constructive criticism" gets a bit out of hand, fans go a little too far, and it almost comes across as being a bit mean to me. 😔🤷🏾‍♀️

I feel like SOME fans take things a bit too seriously, and don't know how to just ENJOY an actor, enjoy the journey they're on at this moment in time, and simply just relax, be patient, and appreciate them for them.....instead of nitpicking over every single little thing. 🥴

Do you know how LONG it's taken some in the industry to get their "big break"? 👀 Or to FINALLY be recognized for their acting talent? Sometimes it takes some ppl a long time! Some fans have been waiting YEARS.

Say what you will about Marvel films, but Marvel DEFINITELY helped put Tom Holland on ppl's radar. It probably would have taken Tom a LOT longer to even get in people's view had it not been for Marvel. And he certainly wouldn't have had so much close access to such incredible acting talent in the industry who constantly pat him on the back of it weren't for Marvel. So Marvel has done Tom good imo.

I almost feel like the complaints some fans have about his career aren't even really about Tom tbh.... I feel like it's more so about competition or smthg, and I just don't feel like it's even necessary.

Tom is a GOOD actor. He will always have roles waiting for him because he's actually talented. I honestly don't know why some fans even worry? Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

I could see if he were a BAD actor.... but he's not! 🥴

Long story short, there's nothing wrong with being honest about how you feel about your fave's work. You can still hate a project but love the person. 🤷🏾‍♀️ But sometimes it just feels like some just complain JUST to complain. That's my only gripe.

[lotusquil]

Hey, I know we haven't ever talked as mutuals, but I just want to say that I'm so sorry about your work situation! Hopefully you're able to find a solution - maybe commissions or print sales? I'd buy some of your art in poster form tbh. Or a Ko-fi or Patreon?

Hiya! It's all good, I appreciate the reach out! I'm like a weird, antisocial-social person, so don't feel obligated to talk just because we're mutual 😁

I was thinking of reopening commissions, and I'd been meaning to start my sticker store, so if I get a break, I may spend time doing that.

But! I actually have an interview next week already! Well, a test, rather. And if I pass, I have the office visit interview mid September. So while I was hoping for that mini lay off vacation between jobs, I'd actually been watching this places career site for MONTHS and I think the Fates are watching because they posted the exact job I wanted the day after I got my lay off date!

[mountain-in-springtime]

i was tagged by my darling @loser-user-noaccuser (thanks for the tag love) so let’s go!

(i’m also gonna tag @takenbythelightfantastic @shutupdevvie and @myfriendtheghost but if you see this and i didn’t tag you, feel free to participate anyway!)

what book are you currently reading? i just started shady hollow: a murder mystery by juneau black. i’ve been meaning to read it for ages, so i’m excited to finally get around to it. 

what’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year? this is really hard to pick because i did see a lot of films this year, most of them screenings of older movies. my top three are probably labyrinth, goodfellas, and rear window. i do feel that elvis deserves an honorable mention as well because i did really enjoy that and it made me cry multiple times. 

what do you usually wear? it depends on the day. if i’m at home i just wear athletic tights and a t shirt, but if i’m going to class i’ll throw on a cardigan as well and sometimes wear jeans instead of tights.

how tall are you? i’m 5′3″ 

what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event? i’m a pisces! i also share a birthday with johnny cash and victor hugo (and i’m one day away from sharing one with george harrison)

do you go by your name or nickname? they’re pretty interchangeable tbh. some people call me mallorie, but just as many call me mal. 

did you grow up to be what you wanted to be as a kid? yes and no. i think that who i am as a person is the type of individual that i’ve always been and wanted to be, but in the tangible sense of a career, lifestyle, etc., i’m still in a transitional period of my life and can’t say yet if i’ll reach the more material goals set by my childhood self. 

are you in a relationship? if not who is your crush if you have one? i’m not in a relationship, and i don’t really have any crushes aside from my multiple famous/fictional/tumblr mutual babygirls. 

what’s something you are good at vs something you are bad at? ever since i was a child, i’ve been pretty talented in the arts (singing, acting, visual art, etc.) and i did really well in school, but i am absolutely terrible at sports or really anything atheltic. 

dogs or cats? both! although i don’t know if i could live without a dog.

if you draw/write or create in anyway what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you have created this year? it’s definitely this (technically unfinished) painting that i did of george harrison at the beginning of the year. i consider it one of my best works to date, and it was done at a time when i was really deep into a beatles phase so i think my love of the band and george really manifested into the work. 

what’s something you’d like to create content for? oh my gosh there’s so many things. i’m really big into any kind of pop culture/media so i draw a lot of celebrities that i love and things like that. i’d really like to continue to make art that shows my love of the beatles, but i would like to branch out into making art for some of my other loves like john denver, gvf, and the muppets. i’d also love to give writing fanfic for any of the fandoms i’m in a try.

what’s something you are currently obsessed with? well i’m obviously obsessed with the beatles and gvf, but i also adore john denver, the solo works of all the beatles, the muppets, the simpsons, film (particularly old hollywood and 80s films), and a million other things. i’ve also been hyperfixating on seinfeld a bit lately bc that’s the show i’m currently watching. 

what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? i think every year i convince myself that i’ll make new irl friends and finally have a full friend group or even get into a relationship, but that never really happens much. (although i am thankful for all of the darling friends i have made on tumblr. y’all mean so much to me.) i also went see paul mccartney in concert this year and while it was amazing and by no means disappointing, it didn’t hold the life-changing gravity that i thought it would, and it almost made me a bit sad because it reminded me how much time has passed since the beatles and that the people that i really care about won’t be around forever. 

what’s a hidden talent of yours? i’m pretty good at impressions! i can do a lot of them, but some of my favorites are miss piggy, cher, bob dylan, chubby checker (specifically singing the twist), a ton of simpsons characters, jerry seinfeld and jimmy stewart. (the last two aren’t always great but they really make me laugh.)

are you religious? yes, but it’s a bit complicated. i was raised catholic, but i find that i don’t agree with all of the teachings of the catholic church, so now i’m trying to find where i stand in the religious community and where my beliefs and morals fit. it’s something i’m working on and figuring out as i go along. 

what’s something that you wish to have at this moment? happiness, love, and peace

[topconfessions]

You are so real for saying the thing about the main reason TOP was chosen for the dearmoon crew. Im not throwing shade. It is was it is. The man doesnt get enough credit for his networking skill. Dare I say he is naturally better at the game than most people would think. Everything about his personality just magically aligns to create this image of warm-on-the-inside cool guy which is already appealing to most people, which I believe he really is but to a much more exaggerated degree in the case of stage image. The thing is, people expect him to be this wild card so even its just him loosen up a bit its already a game changer. He effortlessly charms everyone that way. I think he definitely awares of this power and knows how to use it well. And thats just the tip of the iceberg. Unlike SR, TOP is lucky his main interest is arts. Artist circle has always been full of elites and old money. These guys know how to keep their things behind the curtain. And idk if most fans are aware it, unlike what TOPs trying to do give off that aloof vibe, he care a great deal of what others thing of him. With dearmoon, he definitely has good intentions but it seems lacking self-awareness the way he put it as “for greater cause”, especially when we also have a space-dedicated youtuber on the same crew. Tbh the way I see it, dearmoon is a space business trip lol. TOP just happen to tick all the boxes they have in terms of needing someone with big social influence.

Thank you so much! yes, I had to keep it a 100 and call it for what it is. If top never knew that billionaire or made a close friendship he would never ever be a part of something like this cause technically if we're following merits it should be GD instead of him but TOP is more cultured, wordly and sopthsticated than everyone else in BB by default cause he expanded his interests in mature and lucrative things that he knew would keep him paid for life and elevated. His networking through the art and high art industry paid dividends for him and I'm a little upset for GD not reaching that level himself....He really doesn't get enough credit but at the same time, TOP is seen as so cool and smart that nobody feels the need to credit or praise him cause it's innate and he got it like that LOL.

Yes, exactly. You get what I am saying, TOP picked a lucrative and highly esteemed hobby that has done more for him than he has done for it, but top gives the illusion he has done a lot for the industry. Seungri got wrapped up in the maknae curse of not outgrowing his idol and agency duties of picking activites and business ventures where you yourself have to work overtime to exert physical involvement and be the hype for your product. Seungri played checkers and TOP Played chess, you don't see top involving himself in activities and deals that require him being in public pandering, putting in a lot of work and literal socializing to make his projects a hit like the aori ramen (I may have gotten the name wrong) or burning sun. Burning sun was the worse investment SR ever made and he had to over involve himself in it and overexert himself meanwhile TOP, I mean this nicely, picks hobbies he can be physically lazy in that he already has great interest in that is easy to finnesse if you know what you're doing. what top does despite his immense passion for it, is no different than what a typical tumblr user who loves art just as much as him does. He just incorporates it into his personal and professional life with consistency and the aura of being a master at what he knows.

Also, yes, top knows what he's doing. TOP has excessive spending habits and loves a lavish lifestyle now. He knew and knows he needs an interest / side career that can keep that lucrative income in his pocket. Art is old money and new money combined, the most powerful people in the world are invested in art or have some inclination to it. Seungri took a carrie bradshaw ignorant route and involved himself with ventures that don't pay at all and don't keep your money long, sigh. Good for top though. honestly, if I ever dated an older man or someone of means, I would rush straight to the art scene and snag a man LOL. Sothebys auction house baby, here I come. I'm still waiting for him to do more work with Sothebys but it seems on a stand still and a one time thing back then. TOP needs to get his wine into another business that sells all sorts of wine and not just be a self seller of it, he's too big for that. Also, although it's criminal, you can launder and store money through expensive paintings so we never know if top is the tax evading type to do that.

another thing: I think top avoids relationships at least that serious and mature like the plague cause he knows he wouldn't have the freedom and room to be fully focused on the art world and his wine if he was with someone. this sounds mean but dating is like being a parent to an adult you are having sexual / romantic relations with. I know thats a weird analogy but it is. Especially with top dating the younger girls. it's a responsibility and you can't really rise in the art world with a hanger on unless it's a woman who has her own wealth and interests or is from the same industry.

Basically. He fit what they were looking for and he had great influence but wasn't TOO overhyped or like craze worthy i.e a bts guy that would have distracted from the mission itself. The billionaire chose well in picking top. Yeah, this is honestly just a pleasure cruise and space business trip for experimenting. It's not for any charitable cause or specfic Nasa research, you know how top is, he has to verbally elevate things to make it grander than what it is LOL.

goodluck to top and I hope he has fun this will breathe new life into him for sure. He will accomplish something many humans never have. This is what he needed to rehab and repair his image. Once he does this space mission he will no doubt have the weed scandal 100% behind him especially if he can capitalize off of it more. I hope he continues working on that album too.

[multifandoms27-blog]

hello!! i saw that u did ur very first matchup n it was so sweet, may i request one too for jujutsu kaisen?

pronouns, age, preference, physical description: they/she, 18, male preference, i have an athletic build (used to compete in martial arts tournaments) that's on the meatier side bc i'm a big eater, i have short hair and dress masculine for the most part.

personality: i’m assertive and love taking the lead in just about anything! i enjoy teaching people and used to be an assistant teacher for a summer pre-school and was an assistant teacher in a taekwondo class for around two years!! i’m not quiet but it takes time for me to share personal stuff, i love conversing tho, and i love making decisions on the spot. i’m dead serious about building a career (and tend to overwork) and too ambitious for my own good which gives off the impression that i'm cold but i'm actually pretty clingy and love receiving cuddles and kisses. i often show love through gift-giving and physical touch!! but i value good conversations a lot too!!

interests: business and law (am a business major in uni n wanna be a lawyer someday hshsh), literature (especially: sci-fi, classics, gothic horror, and magical realism.), animal documentaries (i love animals i have three cats!!), colognes.

hobbies: writing, reading, cooking, and organizing stuff hshsh.

ty so much for doing matchups, pls take ur time!!

Aww, thank you anon! And yes, ofc!! These are fun >:3

Also, real quick, we are so similar wtf? Hello, fellow martial artist and law/literature/animal enjoyer ❤️❤️ (me and my boyfriend have three weiner dogs)

Anyways, I match you with...! *drum roll*

❥Nanami Kento!

YOU TWO ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE

He's also an overworker, so he'll tend to realize if you get too overwhelmed or stressed with something

Will always help you before he helps himself tbh

Will interchangably use she and they to refer to you, he knows people with she/they or he/they don't have their 'they/them' option used a lot (I might be projecting here lol) so he'll make an effort to use it to make you feel seen and heard

He likes that you're so serious about a career, especially in the field of business

When you two first met, he was one of many who thought you were cold, which ironically drew him to you

He doesn't need another Gojo in his life

It'd be such a slow burn, too, you both slowly uncovering things about the other and falling in love

I feel like Nanami is pretty indifferent to physical touch at first, but over time he comes to feel like he needs it. He also will show his love through gift giving and also words of affirmation

He's really really good with words, so conversations would be satisfying with him

I think Nanami would be indifferent to animals, really. It's not that he doesn't care about them, he'd gladly help an animal in need. He just doesn't want animals that aren't pets in his house (i.e. raccoons, possums, wild mice, etc.)

If you want a cat or a dog or ferret or whatever, then that's fine. You wanna rescue and foster animals? Absolutely, go for it

I actually headcanon that Nanami's favorite pet is a ferret, just cause I said so (he also seems like the type of man to like ferrets idk)

Nanami is also an avid book reader, so he'll likely recommend you some books, and some evenings he'd be content with some of your cooking (or his, or just takeout would be fine), a glass of wine for each of you, and both of you quietly reading your respective books

If a movie came out about a book you both read, he doesn't care if it's shit, he'll buy tickets for the two of you as a date night

He also loves organization, like you! He likes color coding stuff, or organizing his outfits for the week every Saturday night

All of his papers are in neat piles, his kitchen cabinets are all neatly put away, his spices are even easy to reach/put back in their spots, and he has a system and specific day for cleaning (sunday)

Making choices on the spot is his specialty, and he greatly appreciates that you do the same. It saves a lot of time, unlike "indecisive Gojo" as he lovingly says

He wants to read anything you write. Unless it's personal stuff you haven't told him yet, or if you don't feel like it's good enough to show him, he'll simply respect your boundaries and give you a soft forehead kiss

Mans goes crazy giving you forehead kisses btw, he loves it

Since he also knows martial arts, he'd want to spar with you a bit, just as some sort of bonding experience/workout

Obviously he'd go easy on you, you're his love. But if Gojo found you two and interrupted, he's going to beat the shit out of that annoying albino (I promise I don't abuse Gojo, I say as every time I mention him in another character's thing, I'm always writing him being ignored or beaten)

All in all, you two are the adorable power couple that comes to deeply understand each other with time, that everybody wants to be <3

[umichenginabroad]

Some crazy new things I do and see (ft Stockholm)

Vítej zpět!

I've always been one to try new things, like I never have a set Starbucks order and decided to learn diving and wood burning on a whim. This hasn't been much different in Prague tbh; I feel like I'm only here for 3 months, so why wouldn't I keep looking for new experiences. And that's basically how I started rock climbing and aerial silks... I've wanted to do both for a while and Prague gave me the perfect opportunity.

If you're keeping up with other IPE bloggers, you've probably seen the climbing mentions on Janice's blogs. She's essentially the one that roped me into climbing <3 I wasn't expecting to enjoy it as much as I do though! I think it's something about the problem solving of how to get up the path combined with the feeling of getting stronger the more I climb. A group of us has been going every week, and it's been a lot of fun helping analyze other climbs and cheering each other on. The advantages of being tall are crazy; i just don't have the wingspan or height to reach some of the boulders like they do 😅

Aerial silks probably aligns more with what I'm better at, though I still have little arm strength lmao (I'm pretty flexible, so contorting my body is much easier than finding ways to grip boulders). The instructor was super sweet and didn't speak great English, but she'd motion to help me understand and that was honestly good enough. It was a bit intimidating at first, especially with some of the more advanced students watching, but I was really proud of what I was able to accomplish. Like look at that almost scorpion thing I'm doing, ngl I told the instructor I don't bend that way but hey I did it! + I'll definitely be back

Speaking of new things I did, my trip to Stockholm was without my roommates. Traveling with a new group always has a different dynamic, and the theme of this weekend was definitely teasing and doing random stupid things 😂

Church, shoreside, and parliament building

Stockholm was unfortunately a little dreary (one of our teachers is Swedish and confirmed its much better in the summer), so we split our time visiting museums, exploring the streets, and underground (!!). Highlights as follows:

Vasamusset - museum dedicated to just the Vasa ship. Actually, the story is a little sad, she sank before making it out of the harbor on her first voyage... basically the engineers didn't engineer well

Gamla Stan (old town) - cobblestone roads and various warm toned buildings, tons of tourist shops but we stopped for some yummy pastries. Cinnamon rolls and vanilla cream buns are Stockholm classics

Ikea - good ol ikea is the same in Sweden as everywhere else, but we were really excited to see it

Fotografiska - contemporary photography exhibition with some cool art like this aurora borealis video and mirror room with projections

And finally our 3 hour metro art gallery tour! These were so cool. I can't believe everyone in Stockholm just gets to enjoy all this art on their commutes. There was so much variation with some being purely artistic and others having historical elements. I happened to be wearing the same colors as one of the walls, so I decided to camouflage into it for fun lol

I would definitely recommend a trip to Stockholm, but maybe try when there's warmer weather or at least no rain...

I'm honestly really excited to relax and not travel one of these weekends. I don't think I thought out how tiring traveling would make me, but I guess it's part of the adventure!

Tak čau,

Catherine Jiang Computer Science Tech Career Accelerator in Prague

Czech Words

Vítej zpět - welcome back

Tak čau - literally "so bye", by a common informal goodbye

[millsv2]

It's been 3,000 years...

Hey you know what would be REALLY funny??? If I saw that Twitter was absolutely imploding on itself and came back to Tumblr. Haha that would be so wacky and crazy hahahahaha....

Anyways yeah... I haven't touched Tumblr since I left back in like... 2018 cause of the whole NSFW ban and didn’t come back cause tbh I didn’t like how my reach/growth felt on this platform... but with twitter absolutely imploding, I think its a good pre-emptive measure to return here at the very least and update my old dusty blog... So here I am... For those who followed me back in those days, Hi, good to see you again to the... 70 something of you? Uhhhhhh I guess like... maybe give an update of my life for those curious??? I took my hobby and "aspirations" for art and went to college, and graduated from the Savannah College of Art and Design with a bachelors in Fine Art, majoring in Sequential Art (Comics), with minors in "Drawing" and "Concept Art for Games". I'm now trying to turn my passion into a career by pursuing concept and illustration for video games. Also it goes without saying, my art has changed a shit ton from what it used to look like 5 years ago lmfao. I got super hard into fantasy art and doing hatching and pencil sketch-ish work I'm not gonna lie and say "Yeah im gonna go back to fully posting and interacting here!" since im too used to using twitter by this point... but im gonna try and start resharing my art here once again... Not posting old stuff since im really lazy but any new stuff will be posted here again. Idk if ill use that secondary "art blog" i had since theres some new featured tag system??? so that might help with finding my art on main so idk if i'll use the other blog So uhhh.... Y-yippie...?

[vneuns]

— “SIGN AN NDA” + Sapnap

author’s note(s): i was actually gonna cry if this shit didn’t save tbh. but shoutout to art and someone who shall not be named for helping me out ily mwa mwa

cw: cursing , talk of suggestive themes ( inspired by bils new song <3 )

The bright sunlight from the window next to your bed woke you up as you sighed groggily knowing it was too early for anyone in their right mind to be awake.

You had lots of things to do today and you knew your body was doing this on purpose. It was as if it wanted you to face the wrath of your manager and makeup artist when they noticed the bags under your eyes.

The body behind you groaned before throwing their arm over your stomach pulling you in closer to their warmth. Mornings like this were your favorite cuddled up with your boyfri “sneaky link” as he groaned about not wanting to leave your expensive bed.

This- thi- whatever you want to call it was suppose to be a one time thing. You two had met through a few mutual friends and neither of you were looking for anything serious so one thing led to another and well.. you know how that went.

And after talking a bit in the morning you found out you had a lot more in common than you had thought. Well you also weren’t really thinking about during the .. events.

So after exchanging numbers it became a common thing for you to text each other randomly wanting the other to come over.

For activities…

Knowing you weren’t gonna be able to go back to sleep for a little while you blindly placed your hand on your bedside table reaching for your phone. After knocking over a few things you decided to stop being lazy and say up slightly taking it off the charger before laying back down.

“quit moving around.” sapnap grumbled into the back of your neck.

“get up, big baby.”

he mumbled something incoherent rubbing his slightly rough calloused thumb on your exposed stomach tiredly.

you bit your lip at the sentimental action. He was always doing things like this to you and then when you’d call him out on it he’d just brush it off and pretend as if he hadn't heard you.

Your phone buzzed with a notification which brought you out of your daze and unlocked it, going to check all of your social medias.

Once you scrolled for a little while and didn’t find anything too interesting you decided it was time to start getting ready and then a headline in bold mentioning your name caught your eye.

you clicked the link as you read the article about you having a potential new boyfriend after pictures leaked of you walking sap to his car after he had come over for dinner.

There were multiple words used to describe what was happening since you were leaning down on his car, your head slightly in his window.

The one used the most was kiss.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass.” You mumbled arms interlocked with the gingers next to you as you walked down the slight hill to his car. “Don’t act like you weren’t the one who called me.” He told you rolling his eyes playfully taking out his car keys and unlocking the car.

“Don’t act like you weren’t the one who called me.” You deepened your voice slightly making a face and hand movements.

“You answered.” Sapnap unhooked his arm from yours as he opened the driver side door getting inside. “You’d probably send some assassin after me.”

The thought of that pondered your mind at one point when you thought he was ghosting you for a few days when it turns out he had lost his phone but it would’ve made you seem like you actually had feelings for the boy or you were some type of psychotic girlfriend.

Startling you out of your thoughts your eyes snapped over to him when the window started going down.

“Whew look at this ride.” A catcall like whistle left your lips as you leant inside looking at the interior.

“Could be my sugar daddy if you wanted.”

Sap laughed turning off the ac shaking his head. “You wanna live off of cereal and ramen for days at a time?”

The idea sounded.. not great at all. Going from something lavish to .. that. Wasn’t in your best interest.

“M’ ok thanks though.”

“Text me when you get home ya?”

“Aw look at you caring for my well being.”

“I don’t care i just don’t need you to die right after leaving my humble adobe.”

Sapnap shook his head before leaning a bit closer to you your lips inches apart.

“It’s freezing and you’re wearing shorts and a tank top. go inside.”

Of course they were there that day. They were always there. Creeping in the corners trying to pry into your personal life.

When your fame started to grow you knew what you were getting yourself into. But what you didn’t sign up for was having your privacy invaded in your own home.

You didn’t put your “love life” out there so it was nothing anyone should have an opinion on. Though it was the internet and just because you personally didn’t want it out there that’s where it was going to be whether you liked it or not.

“So warm in the morning.” Without any warning his arms slotted around you squeezing impossibly tighter. “Like a little teddy bear.”

“God you’re annoying.” It was out there. Nothing you could do now so you had to embrace it aka act like it never happened. “make me breakfast.”

“Go pour a bowl of cereal.” You managed to twist around in his hold to face him. His eyes were barely open a small barely there smile on his face. “You still haven’t gotten me the one I like yet.”

He knew exactly how to get whatever he wanted out of you one way or another. So after a bit of random “Pillow talk.” you got up and made some crepes. The two of you talked for a little bit before it was time for him to go and get ready for a stream he had in a few hours.

“Hey umm..” His greenish grayish eyes looked up at you giving you his full attention as he tied his shoes.

“I texted my manager a few minutes and he’s gonna send you an NDA.”

The boys eyebrows furrowed at the words that left your mouth.

“An NDA..? wh-why for what?”

“Just don’t want paparazzi coming up to you or anything.” Your eyesight moved to the floor as you picked at your cuticles.

“We’ve been seeing each other for months. Why are you bringing this up now?”

You chewed at your bottom lip as he got up from the couch in your peripheral.

“My career and all of that.”

“You know what fuck you Y/n don’t fucking call me about all your problems or text me asking me to come over because you’re fucking lonely.” And with that he stormed out

@heyskeppy @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies