#Temari headcanones

[msgoodbykitty]

What Are Naruto Characters doing in Roblox dahood

Warning: post is made on a minor owned account meaning I am a minor if you are uncomfortable with that just block me thank you.

Temari

Dresses up as a boy and collects as many ekittens as she can and steals girls from there boyfriends and random's people from time to time. Most of the time it's Shikamaru.

Hinata

Would be stressed out because she keeps getting random. Would play with Shiho from time to time, would get rizzed up by somebody.

Sakura

Will random people and spin back if you get her back will abuse the voice chat through hell and back for shit talking and raging she so much she got her banned account, she has broken her phone because of this,has argued with little kids.

Ino

Barbie, has an excellent aim. Also argues with little kids. She jumps off of rooftops and flame thrower people. Would most likely be the boys. Or random just a group of random people. Is one of Temari's ekittens without knowing.

Shiho

Would mostly play because the girls invited her. Temari would try to make her, her kitten. Would mostly likely to help the girls plan a raid, her and Hinata would mostly likely play together.

Tenten

Would buy guns and amor. Her favorite weapon is the shotgun. Likes raiding the boys. Is one of Temari's ekittens but knows it's her so I guess it's ok.

Also they would all work together and raid the boys.

[naruto-imagines-and-headcanons]

Naruto Love Languages (Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings)

Naruto Uzumaki - Words of Affirmation

This man is your #1 fan. Everything you do he is behind you cheering and hollering the whole way. It doesn't matter if it's something stupid like trying to do a bottle flip, Naruto is gonna hype you up. He just adores you so much and wants you to know that! He wants you to know that he believes in you fully. When he isn't being a hype man, Naruto is just genuinely complimenting you and showing his appreciation for all you do. Nothing you do will go unnoticed, you WILL feel this man's love

Sasuke Uchiha - Gift Giving

Sasuke is, uh... kinda rough when it comes to romance. He's gone through some shit and even after all these years doesn't quite know how to deal with it. He isn't good at words, is wary on physical contact, and isn't around often. But the one thing he succeeds in is giving you gifts. Everytime he leaves to go who knows where, he will always return with an incredibly thoughtful gift. Sasuke doesn't just grab whatever he see, he knows what you like and what you appreciate. Every gift he gives you has meaning and fits you perfectly

Sakura Haruno - Acts of Service

Sakura is a girl who heavily desires to be loved. Ever since she was a child she was a hopeless romantic, so when she finally got together with you she fell head over heels. She's quite open with her feelings for you both physically and vocally, but her favorite way to show she cares is by helping you around the house. She'll cook for you, help clean up, give you massages, and of course heal your wounds. As long as you are dating her you will never see another Medical-nin. Every injury you get will be treated by her with full seriousness (even if it's just a paper cut)

Sai - Gift Giving

You though SASUKE was bad with feelings? Dear lord you gotta have a lot of patience with Sai. Unlike Sasuke though, Sai tries his hardest, even if it's a bit rough. He tries to say nice things and touch you, but it's still incredibly foreign to him (not to mention he can get a bit brutally honest about some things). The only thing Sai is confident in is his gift giving skills. He loves to draw art for you, pretty much everything he sees inspires more art to give you. It's gotten to the point that you have a whole room filled with them (Sai keeps telling you it's okay to get rid of some, but you refuse! They are so pretty!). On special occassions, Sai loves to bring his drawings for you to life, enjoying the look of amazement on your face

Ino Yamanaka - Gift Giving

This girl is gonna treat you RIGHT, believe that! She's is incredibly open with her feelings, especially when it comes to flowers. You will be getting flowers for every occassion, sometimes just randomly. She'll buy you other gifts like jewelry and clothes and books, but her real love language is flowers. Her bouquets aren't just randomly put together either, Ino carefully hand picks each one and take in mind the meaning of each one. The longer you date you will soon learn the different meanings, which makes her so proud. Although she doesn't really expect anything back every time, make sure to get her a lil something for special occassions, she'll appreciate it~

Shikamaru Nara - Quality Time

We know Shikamaru is a lazy bitch, but that's what we love about him! He may seem distant and seemingly uncaring, but if you look closely you can clearly see how he shows affection. Sure he may not wash you with praises or get you expensive things, but he stays by your side. Always. Somehow he always is in the same room as you, even if you are doing two different things. You're always together in some sort. He'll definitely deny it, but you notice he doesn't leave still. It's kind of like a cat, ya know? Shikamaru gets especially clingy when you're in bed together. This man doesn't get up for hours, and you aren't getting up either. You will lay and sleep with him for 3 more hours, no discussion

Choji Akimichi - Acts of Service

Just... just so sweet. My boy is such a sweetie oh my god. Choji is quite nervous in your relationship, both due to low self-esteem and just anxiety in general. Just you surprising him with a hug is enough to fluster him for a solid minute. Since more direct ways get him anxious, Choji prefers to do things for you, and his favorite thing is to cook for you. This man can COOK like no one's business! You guys will go out to eat on the weekends (there is nothing like fresh barbecue), but through the week he is in the kitchen cooking your favorite meals full of love. Seeing your giant smile and hearing your satisifed eating makes his heart soar. Also, you are one of the only people who he'll always share his snacks with, no hesitation (the other is Shikamaru, obviously)

Kiba Inuzuka - Physical Touch

Kiba is a toucher, hands down. He LOVES to just touch you all over. He is always in contact with you no matter what, appropriate or otherwise. Hands on your waist, head on your shoulder, fingers in your hair, sometimes he will just randomly pick you up to get a reaction out of you. Let's be real, Kiba's a dog through and through, and dogs adore attention. Whenever he wants your attention or love, Kiba will poke you and bug you until you give in and cuddle with him. Spooning is his absolute favorite position. Give this man his head pats and belly rubs god dammit, and don't forget Akamaru!. Oh and uh, warning, this man is also perverted. Quite perverted. Your cuddle sessions will devolve into him dry humping you 50% of the time. You gonna get manhandled and groped quite a bit (every touch full of love <3)

Hinata Hyuga - Words of Affirmation

You thought Choji was shy? You haven't seen nothing yet. Hinata was already a sweating mess when you were just friends, the moment you asked her out she literally fainted and collapsed on the floor. Thankfully she is better now (and didn't get brain damage), but it's still nerve-wracking to be in a relationship with you. You're just so... perfect. And Hinata wants you to know that. Throughout the day she is normally very sweet and appreciative, but whenever you are on dates or cuddling in private, she lets all her feelings out. She shares her admiration for you, her appreciation for you, and just how happy she is to have you in her life. It always makes you cry, which makes Hinata feel bad, but you always assure her they are happy tears

Shino Aburame - Acts of Service

Shino is a man of little words, and you knew that going into a relationship, so you have no issues with that! It makes the times he does speak up mean even more. Since he's inexperienced with relationships and romantic gestures, Shino's main way to show he cares is by protecting you and keeping you safe. He always is ready to defend you in public, and whenever you go somewhere alone he gives you one of his bugs so he can know you're safe. Anyone who even tries to harass or injure you is getting shot down immedietely. Losing you or you getting hurt is one of his biggest fears, and he'll never let that happen. You'll never feel unsafe when Shino is around

Rock Lee - All of Them

You can call this a cop out, but let's be real, Lee is the embodiment of EVERY love language. He never stops gushing to you about your beauty and skills, and screams how much he loves you from the rooftops. Anything you ask him to do will be done in record time perfectly. He loves to give you extravagent gifts for your anniversaries and random occasions. Spending time with you is his favorite thing in the world, especially when you train together. And physical touch? He is always happy to hug and kiss you all over. Lee is just full of love for you!! He knows he can be a bit overwhelming at times and will calm down if you tell him. He just is so grateful to have you in his life, and wants you to know that every day for the rest of your life

Neji Hyuga - Words of Affirmation

It may come as a shock to most due to his sharp tongue, but the way Neji shows his love is by words. To most he is aggressive and stand-offish, and ocassionally is to you too. It's just how he is unfortunately. But unlike with others, he is noticabely incredibly soft with you and is much more open. Neji isn't afraid to compliment how you look or give praise when you succeed at something. Even when he gets annoyed he doesn't raise his voice or throw insults at you, he stays respectful. The fact that he calls everyone an idiot except you says a whoooole lot about how he feels about you. Wear that honor with pride

Tenten - Quality Time

Tenten is pretty easy going and prefers a partner who is the same. Of course some spice and excitement is greatly welcomed, but at the end of the day she just wants to sit back and relax with her partner. So spending time together means a lot to her. She loves going on dates where you guys try something new (just no long hikes, please) but if needed will default to the local weapon museum. By the way, everytime one of you has to go on a mission, Tenten will act cool but will secretly pout the whole time until you meet up again

Gaara - Physical Touch

As he's grown, Gaara has turned into a real sweetheart. With you he is incredibly gentle and cares for you deeply. You are his treasure, you deserve the world. He still is dealing with social anxiety, and can be a bit awkward sometimes. But Gaara is always comfortable touching and holding you. His touches are gentle and kind, and sensual when he wants. He likes to give gentle kisses all over you throughout the day, and whenever he leaves for work he gives you a loving kiss before he leaves. Gaara also really values cuddling together. This man is touch starved like no one else, everytime you hold eachother he feels like a part of him is healing. Please reciprocate, he deserves it

Temari - Words of Affirmation

Temari is fiery as hell, and you knew that the moment you met. And her words are just as sharp! She isn't afraid to tell off people who annoy you guys (especially when you are on dates, they are DEAD). With you she is still mildly aggressive and intense, but in a more lighthearted way. She just gets so worried about you, she can't help herself from scolding you for being an idiot. Every word she says (positive or negative) comes from the heart. When you manage to not be a fool Temari is vocalising her approval and pride. Oh, and she has a habit of openly bragging about how amazing you are to your peers (much to your embarrassment)

Kankuro - Quality Time

This man is a teeeeeease (in a good way or bad way, your decision). He is constantly joking and making fun of you, reveling in your cute annoyance. He even likes to annoy you physically like blowing on your neck or pinching your butt. Kankuro is quite playful pretty much 95% of the time, but the other 5% he's actually quite sweet. Spending time with you is his favorite thing in the world! Yeah it's fun messing with you, but he likes to just have genuine connections and going on more mature dates. His favorite thing is dancing surprisingly, and he honestly is quite good. Holding you close and swaying makes him content ... Until he sneaks in one of his puppets halfway through, scaring the shit out of you in the process (he slept on the couch but it was worth it)

----------

Konoha 12 + Sand Siblings | Shinobi & Founders | Akatsuki

[nardo-headcanons]

Sunagakure Worldbuilding Headcanon

My last post on Kirigakure made me think of some Sunagakure Headcanons. Here they are! This is very long, but I hope you enjoy!

People and Culture

The wind realm’s population is rather decentralized, so there are a lot of subcultures, accents and customs that have developed over time. The people of Sunagakure are very intelligent and hard workers and don’t take shit from anyone. They value their independence but also recognize the use of unionizing to achieve their goals. They use rather few words to communicate amongst each other in public, but in private they can be very poetic. Also, they secretly don’t mind the stereotype of tumbleweeds rolling around everywhere in the village, because they can relate. To outsiders, they seem secretive and mysterious, but they are in reality very friendly and hospitable. Once you make a friend in Suna, you’ve made a friend for life. Gift giving, especially in the form of food or other self-made goods is always appreciated. Suna citizens are hopeless romantics, and most soap operas and sappy romance books are produced there. They love to make music and sing together. Most instruments originate from the wind realm and its citizens proudly call themselves the creators of all music in the shinobi world. The wind realm is the country with the richest culture in the shinobi world.

Politics

Recently, Suna has been plagued by an economic crisis, as the wind realm daimyo has preferably hired Konoha shinobi to get missions done. This has raised the distrust in the wind realm government and made the people more loyal to the kazekage than the daimyo. The shinobi have started to prioritize the mission over the lives of the shinobi fulfilling it, however they make sure to give their teammates a quick and painless death if they get into that situation.

Clothing and Cosmetics

Most Suna Shinobi wear long sleeves and cover their head, to protect their skin from sun damage. It’s also very common to cover your face in layers of fabric, as the Suna sandstorms can be ruthless. Light brown, grey, white and black are the most popular colors, as they allow you to blend in with your surroundings and not get detected by enemy shinobi. All people, including kuniochis, keep their hair rather short, cover it or tie them together in some kind of way. There are a lot of unique hairstyles to deal with the strong winds, as can be seen by Temari, who wears four ponytails because the winds would otherwise just destroy her hairstyle if she wore just two. For festive occasions though, Suna clothes are vibrant and colorful, with very intricate details. The most preferred fabric choices are silk and cotton. Before the recession, Suna also had a booming beauty industry, with the best moisturizers, sunblock and body wash originating from there. There is an ongoing feud between the wind realm and the water realm about who has the better skincare products. Wind realm citizens are known to always smell good and take great care of themselves. They use bidets and shower frequently. The women are rumored to be the most beautiful in the shinobi world, however many of them have to deal with orientalism and exoticism from foreigners.

Nature

Flora

A fact that a lot of foreigners get wrong is that Sunagakure is covered completely in desert wasteland. Quite a bit of vegetation is savannah and what we call mediterranean. Still a rather hot country, it is characterized by agonizingly hot summers and barely existing winters. The actual deserts of the wind realm are sprinkled with oases, around which many settlements have formed. The terrain around those oases is very fertile and most of the country’s produce is grown there. Sandstorms are not a rarity here and during these storms there are self-imposed curfews as Suna citizens know that once you get buried in a sandstorm, there is no way anyone will find you buried under all that sand. Only a few nomadic families actually travel and live outside of the oases.

Fauna

The deserts that surround Suna are filled to the brim with the most dangerous, savage animals known to the shinobi realm. The snakes especially must not be underestimated, as their venom can kill a grown shinobi within minutes. Many marionette wielders therefore use it against their enemies. The rivers of the wind realm are full of crocodiles and freshwater fish. The fennec fox is seen as a symbol of good luck and suna nin believe their mission will be a success when they see one. Aside from other cats of prey like lions, cheetahs and leopards. Other mammals include hyenas, hyraxes, macaques, gazelles, oryxes, camels, hedgehogs and sheep. When it comes to rodents, you can find desert rats, porcupines, armadillos, meerkats and gundis. Suna also has the largest spider population in the shinobi world, and you often must check your toilet and shower for any venomous spiders hanging out there. At night you can see bats flying through the sky. The wind realm sea is a home to many kinds of saltwater fish and sometimes you can visit the dolphins, that are particularly friendly to children. Mosquito stings are nasty here, and many diseases, for example those that we call malaria and dengue fever are endemic here. Wind realm citizens have a natural immunity against them and sleep them off in a day, but there are vaccinations available for foreigners.

Food

Stew and other slow cooked gravy dishes The absolute staple of any Suna nin are stews. They’re elaborate and take the whole day to cook. Every family has its own recipes (and thinks theirs is the best) it’s useful to just cut up veggies and meat, and then slow cook it until it’s done. Stews made in Suna include gumbo, adobo, maafe, and many curries. Spices Wind realm citizens have the greatest spice tolerance in the shinobi world. The greatest variety of spices is produced there, from cumin, fennel seeds, coriander seeds, pepper, chilli, cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg, bay leaves, tumeric and a myriad of other herbs and spices. Suna food is very spicy for two reasons: many spices they use have a disinfecting effect, and the accelerated production of sweat helps cool down the body. Most spices are sold dried to increase shelf life. Many outsiders travel to Suna to acquire spices directly from the source, thinking they’ll get them for cheap, however, the vendors charge foreigners at a hefty margin. Sunagakure is the greatest exporter of all things spices.

Legumes Legumes play a very important role in the local eating pyramid. They serve as a satiating source of carbohydrates and protein. Beans and lentils can be turned into tofu, stew, mashed or baked, peanuts are often used as a base for stew and sauces in the form of peanut butter. Roasted and salted peanuts are a popular snack in Sunagakure. The biggest buyer of Suna’s exported legumes is Iwagakure.

Cassava This starchy root is soaked and then cooked for a long time to make mash, in stews, or fried. Cassava flour also serves as a gluten free flour alternative and many Suna nin use it to thicken sauces and stews. There’s also tapioca starch which is exported into other countries. Olives In the moderate climate regions, many olive trees are grown, which are then used to make olive oil, the preferred fat source of Suna’s people. Dairy It can often be purchased from nomad families, who sell it in the form of milk, yoghurt, kefir, butter and cheese. The preferred dairy variant is goat’s dairy; however, sheep and cow’s dairy are also available. There’s a possibility that the concept of fermenting milk to make yoghurt and kefir was once brought in by Kiri immigrants, however most wind realm citizens are too proud to give this possibility any thought or think it’s just a myth. Meat Just like dairy, meat can be purchased from several families that travel though the wind realm, or on bazars. It is dried often to increase shelf life. Sweets The best chocolate comes from here. The wind realm has a few islands where cocoa beans are produced, and Suna chocolate is known globally for its rich, earthy, fruity taste. Suna Nin are also the only people that regularly take coffee with them during missions. Most foreigners don’t like the bitter taste, but Sunagakure’s shinobis have realized that the caffeine within coffee beans is useful during missions where you must stay aware for long times. The most common sweetener is cane sugar and used to make coffee candy. Wind realm citizens don’t discriminate, and even children are allowed to have them. Another sweet food, especially popular amongst children are dates. On special occasions, Baklava are offered to the guests or given as a gift. Most foreigners find them way too sweet, but just can’t say no because they recognize the effort and craftsmanship that went into making them. The most popular fruit in Suna are: pomgranate, various kinds of citrus fruits, apples, grapes and green almonds. Ripened almonds are used to make marzipan, which is another one of Suna's culinary prides. Those who try persipan, a localized version from Kirigakure, think that it is a lesser version of their beloved treat.

[susililys]

Headcanoning that Temari wore her two ponytails (both high and low) all throughout her 20s, but then once she reached her 30s she felt nostalgic about her old four pigtails and switched it back (you know how they say you tend to come back to what you loved in your teens in your 30s).

Shikamaru comes home and sees her with her iconic hairstyle once again and just stands there all open mouth, mesmerized and shocked, cause after almost 10 years he’s seeing her once again the way she looked when they first met, when he first fell in love with her. She just looks at him like, “what?” as if she there’s nothing different and he just smiles and goes “nothing.”

Pleaseeee no one touch me, I’m making myself teary eyed. 🥺

[uzumakiramen]

☼ when they have a crush on you [the sand siblings] ☼

gn! reader.

NOT PROOFREAD!!

warnings: 1 curse word.

a/n: maybe I’m a gaara simp. mind your business🤨

gaara

he does not know how to exist around you

becuz hes so used to feeling constant hatred towards almost everyone in his presence it really does catch him off guard when he starts to take a liking to you

you make him nervous!!

and you make his heart race!!!

and you make him feel all tingly on the inside!!!!

like you could just smile at him and his face world turn the same color as his hair😭😭

gaara really doesn’t know how to be near you without blushing or stuttering or just gapping at you like a fish out of water

sooooo he’s definitely the type to admire you from afar

he just can’t help it‼️

the way your eyes light up when every u talk to your friends and the way you smile and laugh with them is just so mesmerizing

seeing you so happy makes him feel all warm on the inside

he’s definitely not getting over this crush anytime soon🙃

temari

she just doesn’t know how to let u be😭😭

she’s always trying to protect u from something

or save u from tripping out in the sidewalk

and as cute as u think it is u try to tell her that it really isn’t necessary

but she just wouldn’t know what to with herself if something happened to u and she could’ve easily stopped it

she just loves you so much—

oop🫢. yeah it’s not even a crush anymore

she’s just in love.

kankuro

to other ppl he’s stand off-ish and arrogant

a bit of an asshole tbh

but with you he’s extremely flirty and actually pretty nice

he’s always throwing pick up lines at you and offering to train with u

he even offers to buy u ur favorite snack after a long day ☺️

he honestly just puts up this whole confident flirty facade to hide the fact that u actually make his heart beat out of his chest everytime he sees u🤭

it’s so out of character for him that you kinda think he’s just pulling a huge prank on you😭

but u enjoy him doing it anyways becuz u most definitely have a crush on him too.

© 2022 copyright. all rights reserved. @uzumakiramen.

[meke57o9]

The sand silbings are definitely the type of silbings who seem distant between each other, but are actually helpful and loving between each other.

Kankuro wakes up late at night to make coffee for Gaara and go back to bed. Temari stitching her brother's torn clothes after a mission. Gaara growing poisonous plants, so Kankuro can have a endless supply of poison for his needles.

And those three are each other wing-man. Gaara schedule his sister's arrival home to correlate with Team 10 visiting Suna. Kankuro hangout with Choji and Gaara will discuss botany with Ino. Allowing Temari to spend time alone with Shikamaru.

A week before Team Gai visit Suna, Kankuro help Gaara with paperwork. Temari dragging Gaara to bed. She debate with him to at least relax his body, so he can have energy to hangout with Lee.

Gaara assign Kankuro as his bodyguard when he have to attend a Kage meeting located at Kumogakure. Temari trimming Kankuro's hair a day before he leave, scolding him he should look presentable (not for the meeting, but for his date with Omoi).

I love the sand siblings and their dynamic!

[shisui-shrine]

hello 🤗 can i request headcanons/drabble for shikamaru and temari x reader? they are a married couple already and they had shikadai with artificial insemination so that he would have dna from all three! the scenario would be that temari had to travel on a mission and the reader is a little stressed by shikamaru's carefree attitude with their son

(maybe you could add that the reader is a uchiha and that is one of the reasons why is so protective towards shikadai?)

Shikamaru X Gn!Reader X Temari

Shikamaru is one of the chillest parents in the whole world, he doesn't see why he should stress himself so much about parenting, or why he should stress himself at all

I mean, Shikaku raised him similarly and he turned out fine

Temari on the other hand is very strict

She had to follow tons of rules as a young child, this very much influences her own parenting technique

But two strict parents? Bless the Naras, they're going to need it

Coming to the actual request:

Shikadei is definitely very happy, with the least relaxed parent out the house the next few days will definitely be a bit more enjoyable

... if it wasn't for your constant nagging

"Shikamaru, I'm gonna tell you one last time, quit playing Shogi and actually do something against this! Shikadai can't keep slacking off like this! It's unacceptable"

Oh no, so you somehow found about him not doing his homework?

"Shikadei, I know you're there! Come here, this instant!"

After a short lecture you send Shikadai to his room to do his homework, taking away his games to make sure he wouldn't get distracted.

"Why are you always so laid back with him? Children have to be parented, that includes scolding them every once in a while!"

You cross your arms in front of your chest, looking at your husband, waiting for him to explain himself.

"I just don't think it's that big of a deal. I never did my homework either, and look at me now", Shikamaru tells you his reasoning, sighing as he scratches his neck. What a drag, he thinks, but knows better than to say out loud.

"You can't always play good guy with Shikadai, you need to occasionally step up and tell him off when he's doing something wrong", you huff out, getting a bit agitated by this whole conversation. Why did Temari have to leave?

"Yeah, yeah, I get that. But apart from the missing homework Shikadai's a good kid, he doesn't get into trouble, he comes home before curfew and he's very intelligent. You should trust him more", Shikamaru tries his best to reason with you, since it's the best way to end this situation once and for all.

"I'm just saying, if you stopped encouraging his bad behaviours by constantly telling him 'I was the same at his age', 'he has to figure himself out' or just straight up saying nothing, maybe he would actually put a little more effort into the academy", you try to convince him once more to speak up against your son, but again, it fell on deaf ears.

"Thanks to Naruto we have peace, there's no need for such intense training for Shikadai", Shikamaru yawns, covering his mouth with his hand and then scratches his neck.

"Can you at least try to be more strict with him? Please?", you sigh and shake your head, getting more and more agitated by the second, crossing your arms and glaring into Shikamaru's eyes.

Shikamaru senses your anger and nods. "Alright, the next time Shikadai does something, I'll lecture him."

Shikamaru pats your back gently, trying to comfort you and goes into Shikadai's room.

You sigh and uncross your arms, knowing damn well they're just going to play Shogi in the worst case scenario or the 'lecture' will be: 'Don't do that again' and then they'll play Shogi together.

You sigh and uncross your arms, a worried expression decorating your face. Temari, please come back soon.

[jesseevelann]

Headcanon that when a light is shone in Shikamaru's eyes, he stops entirely and just stares like a deer in headlights. Which leads to people finding him in the kitchen getting a midnight snack and getting scared shitless by his stare.

Chouji or Ino will get up to go get some water, using a torch to light the way, and they shine it into the kitchen and Shikamaru just looks at them like this:

[animereaderinsertwriter]

had some thoughts about Naruto characters and the question, "would you love me if I was a worm?", coming to you live from my roommate's text thread

Sasuke: would you love me if I was a worm

Sakura: you ARE a worm, deadbeat. come pick up your kid from school

Sasuke:

Sakura:

Sasuke: do you. love me. then?

Sakura: yes. please go get sarada.

Sai: I do not understand this. Why have you not asked me this yet?

Ino: asked you what?

Sai: if I would love you if you were a worm. Do you not want me to love you if you were a worm?

Ino: what-- no? I mean, yes! I mean--

Sai, calculating: so.... you want me to love you as a worm?

Ino: uh yeah ig?

Sai: I would not.

Ino: oh...

Sai: worms are not beautiful. or smart. they are only worms.

Ino: 🥺🥺

Temari: You would love me if I was a worm. I'd be the best worm ever, and you'd be a sucker just like you are now.

Shikamaru: Yes I would. You're already the best worm and you're not even a worm.

Temari: Good. Just making sure we're on the same page.

Shikamaru, visibly shaking: yep.

Iruka: this is a dumb question.

Kakashi: I love dumb questions. You look hot asking them.

Iruka: ..... would....would you love me if I was a worm?

Kakashi, without hesitation: of course. you'd still be you, and besides--- I've never had sex with a worm before

Iruka: Kakashi no.

Kakashi: seriously, I think it could work.

Iruka: Kakashi--

Kakashi, eyes glazed over: I'm pretty sure there's got to be a worm jutsu that would allow us to experiment....

Neji, trying and failing to be nonchalant: Hey Tenten?

Tenten, looking up from her training: Yeah?

Neji: I would love you if you were a worm.

Tenten: ?????

Neji: You know. Just in case you were wondering.

Neji *blushing*: I would.

Tenten, not understanding, but pleased nonetheless: Thanks babe ❤️

(bonus)

Sakura: Hey Naruto, earlier Sasuke asked me if I'd love him if he were a worm.

Naruto: but he IS a worm.

Sakura: That's what I said!! But... It got me thinking.

Naruto: that you would love me if I was a worm too?

Sakura: no! I mean, yes I would-- but, I was thinking more if I was a worm. Like. Would you still love me?

Naruto: uh, sure!

Sakura:..... That doesn't sound very confident.

Naruto: listen, I just --

Sakura: no I get it, you just don't love me

Naruto: THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

Sakura: no it's okay, you've always liked Sasuke more--

Naruto: SAKURA-CHAN, NOOOOOOOOO

BONUS bonus

Later:

Sasuke gets home. Naruto is in his room, sobbing. He's holding a tiny worm.

Sasuke: what the fuck are you doing?

Naruto, tears streaming down his face: ITS SAKURA-CHAN

Sasuke: what did she do????????? Is she okay?

Naruto: NO, SHES A WORM

Sasuke: WHAT

Naruto, becoming increasingly more hysterical: TODAY SHE ASKED ME IF I WOULD LOVE HER IF SHE WERE A WORM AND I CHOKED AND DIDNT ANSWER FAST ENOUGH SO NOW SHE THINKS I DONT LOVE HER SO SHE TURNED HERSELF INTO A WORM AND SHE WONT TURN BACK NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TELL HER I LOVE HER WHAT IF SHES STUCK THIS IS ALL MY FAULT--

Sasuke, visibly panicking: okay. Let's not panic. She's a sannin-level shinobi. She just wants us to feel bad. She'll change back when she's ready.

Naruto: BUT WHAT IF SHES STUCK

Sakura, who has been outside the window the whole time and watched Naruto find the worm in the kitchen: I love those morons so much-

[tikapaprika]

So here is a little headcanon. Temari is a brutally honest person, she never lied to sugarcoat and spare someone's feelings. But she THOUGHT about lying to Shikamaru multiple times to not hurt him. She never acted upon it until one day she actually did. He saw right through her tho so she never did it again.

And he kind of regrets it.

[watermelonsloth]

Naruto Headcanons: Who Tans and Who Burns

Making a cut so this doesn’t take up a bunch of space on anyone’s screen

Naruto - tans

Sasuke - burns

Sakura - burns

Ino - tans

Shikamaru - burns

Choji - tans

Kiba - tans

Hinata - burns

Shino - burns and blisters

Neji - burns

Lee - tans

TenTen - burns

Temari - tans

Gaara - tans

Kankuro - tans

Obito - burns

Zetsu - uuuhhhh…

Nagato - burns

Konan - burns

Itachi - burns

Kisame - tans (no risk of skin cancer)

Sasori - tans

Deidara - tans

Kakuzu - tans

Hidan - burns

[interestinnggg]

That one book trope "He is mean to everyone but her" is so Temari. (I know she is mean to Shikamaru too but let's be real it's more good-natured mean.)

[narakurosaki]

when shikadai is 4 years old, shikamaru takes a long, hard look in the mirror one early morning. he no longer sees himself, anymore; his facial hair has grown, and he sees the reflection of the man whose shadow he's lived in for so long. there are no scars on his face, nor does he reek of alcohol like the old man, but he has his face, his hair, the crease between his brows from scowling so often in his younger years.

he's his own man, has been for so many years, now, and yet, he still grew the damned goatee, just like his father had. how often is he compared to him? how often do people say he looks just like him? he's a husband, a father, the advisor to the hokage, the head of the nara clan. he's nara shikamaru, and he'll be damned if he continues to be compared to his father.

he takes his razor and shaves the goatee. he doesn't leave his skin smooth; instead, he opts for a light dusting of stubble, a look similar to that seen in old photographs of a grandfather he's never met. he rinses the razor off in the sink, wipes his chin with a wet washcloth, and rubs his (almost) bare chin with his palm. he looks as he did four years ago, when his wife was carrying their child -- his own man, nara shikamaru.

temari appears behind him, gliding her fingertips from shoulder to shoulder as she comes to stand at his side. she gazes at him in the mirror, watching as he observes himself.

"can't say i'll miss it," she admits, and his eyes snap to her. she's smirking. "it always poked me when we kissed."

he blinks, hums, and shuts off the faucet. he can't say he'll miss it, either.

"do you think shikadai will recognize me?"

playfully, she rolls her eyes. "that kid could pick either one of us out from a crowd within seconds. i doubt your goatee being gone will confuse him. besides, he's ours, right? already a genius in his own right."

another hum. she's right. she's always right, and he loves asking for her opinions on things.

he turns, his loose hair swinging with the movement. "he is pretty smart, isn't he?" he smiles, and temari smiles, too, though it's more of a smirk than anything, a way to tell him that she's known this fact from the day he was born. "and you? do you like it?"

temari places a hand on his cheek, and he moves to cover it with his own. "honestly? i prefer it being gone. it isn't hiding that handsome face of yours."

his heart skips a beat and he grins. eight years into their marriage, and she still makes him feel like a lovesick teen.

he leans down and kisses her.

[nardo-headcanons]

What are your thoughts on music in the Narutoverse? 🤔 What kind of music do you think Konoha citizens listen to, what do you think is popular in Suna, I have my playlists and I may share one of these days but your take? 🙂🥰🎼

I have never thought of that before, omg. I hope to GODS this post doesn't sound insentive at all. If it is, please let me know so I can educate myself and take it down/mend it.

I think there are radios in the shinobi world, which offer some music variety. Most shinobi don't really have time to learn any instruments or anything like that. I'd say that traditional Konoha music often involves the koto, a shakuhachi flute and other traditionally Japanese instruments.

I'm currently writing a fic where I incorporate my headcanon that the Uchiha clan owns a crustry dusty piano which hasn't been tuned or played in ages, but legends say Madara Uchiha himself has played that piano.

I think Suna has the richest and oldest culture on the entire continent, and most music probably originates from there. Wind instruments are rather popular, one of them being the ney flute, the arghul, Another instrument that can sometimes be heard is the Duduk. When it comes to string instruments, it would be a sin not to mention the oud, and another one being a special type of lyre, also known as a simsimiyyaa The voice is also often used in Suna music, being regarded as an instrument itself.

Nowadays, many soap operas and dramas are written/produced in the land of wind, adding a very dramatic, emotional sound to it as well. Sunagakure radios are often filled with songs like these. And I think while Kankuro enjoys them, Temari has grown tired of them after hearing them way too often.

UPDATE: Here's part 2 for the rest of the villages

[edai-crplpnk]

Some Team 8 + Sand Sibs chara sheets

I procrastinated writing yesterday by doing little chara sheets for my polycule AU.

Kiba and Shino have been dating since they were teens. Shino and Hinata have been dating since college. Kankurou and Kiba start dating at 22/25 (I am writing this fic). Hinata and Kankurou may or may not have some queerplatonic relationship going on eventually.

I used this picrew for the sheets!

Additional facts!

Kiba:

Inuzuka Kiba isn't his legal name, he is still officially registered under his deadname and his father's family name. He might change it once his father's dead, probably not before that since he doesn't want him to know about it. The rest of the polycule handle most of his mail so he doesn't have to deal with it unless necessary.

He is Japanese through his father and Filipino through Tsume.

Hana is his half-sister (different father).

He transitioned in his late teens and has been on T + post-top surgery for some years now.

He got a hysterectomy for endometriosis.

He doesn't smoke much anymore, mostly vapes, which allows him to control CBD/THC levels and ratio better.

Kankurou:

He doesn't identify as trans, but might identify as non-binary somewhere along the way. He's fine with being seen as a man and conveniently goes by he/him, but is honestly a bit too psychotic and dissociated to really have an opinion about his gender and gendered body.

He is Jewish through his mother, but was raised by Baki (here, Rasa's half-brother) so most of his relationship with Judaism and Jewishness is self-taught reconnection.

He had only one brief relationship before Kiba and had sort of settled for the idea of not trying to look for partners (both romantically and sexually) because it was a lot of work and socialisation and it didn't feel all that too important for him, but hey, shit happens. (Kiba happens, and it's good shit.)

He gets a colectomy and stoma bag for his ulcerative colitis around 25 (again, the KankuKiba fic is about that). He probably won't try to get a reversal surgery in the future because he hates surgeries and hospitals.

Shino:

He mostly uses Makaton and text-to-speech as AAC. The former is easier for short indications and requests in daily life, and the latter for more complex conversations.

He gets on opioid replacement therapy sometime during his teens, although still injects occasionally as an adult.

He was initially assigned male at birth, and then reassigned female during his childhood, which he (very understandably) did not live well. Shibi defended his right to choose his gender presentation and refuse further intersex surgeries after that, and he's been mostly living as a boy/man since then. He half identifies as a cis man, half not because dissociation and plurality and trauma make gender complicated but he's sort of working through it. He'd still consider his relationship with Hinata straight, and his relationship with Kiba gay.

His parents broke up when he was a kid (in part over the decisions made about him) and Shibi raised him for the most part. He sometimes sees his mother as an adult, but they're relationship is not very good.

Hinata:

It's been a bit of a struggle to slowly acclimate Hiashi to her being part of a polyamorous relationship, but he does like Shino a lot, so that helped. (He doesn't have an excellent opinion of Kiba but they also mostly never see each other and they're happy with that.)

She has a fairly ok relationship with her family now, but being able to move out and live in group with way less hierarchy and a whole lot more community support has been very healing and helping with having more resources to maintain her relationship with her family too.

Kankurou does all her phone calls (as that of about everyone in the polycule, to be honest).

And the sibs!

Gaara:

He's had a lot of autism-related struggles as a child/teen, but functions much better as an adult now that he understands his needs better and has accommodated his daily life to them. He works as a landscaper but has a lot of at-home work hours.

Lee is his first relationship (I also have a fic about that) and he does think he's gay? But also never has thought about neither his orientation nor the idea of dating and who he would want to date much before that, so he's not sure. He's going with that for now.

He waxes his eyebrows because he compulsively plucks them otherwise. Dying his hair also helps with trying not to pluck them.

He was mostly raised by Yashamaru, who is Jewish and raised him Jewish, but has a bit of a complicated relationship with that because there was a lot of projection on Yashamaru's end, and difficulty to see him as his own person and not just his late sister's baby. He's not religious although he sort of still observant out of habit. (Ex: he doesn't necessarily care about eating kosher, but it's also the food he's used to make and eat, so he will still go for that most of the time.)

Temari (in pyjamas mode in this picture because I didn't have something less casual that fitted her style in the picrew):

She works as a diplomat and is very much a workaholic. The trauma is strong but the grind is stronger.

Just like Kankurou, she was raised by Baki and her connection to Jewishness and Judaism are mostly self-taught. She is a bit less observant than Kankurou.

She has chronic pain that she probably ignores a bit too much, but who can really stop her. (Kankurou should try and probably does.) Compression stockings enthusiast.

She has a motorcycle that Kankurou is very afraid to ride. (Gaara is okay.)

I'll probably do more in this AU later!

[ravewoodx]