#Terfs aren't welcome here

[dreadfutures]

ya know, i don't really investigate every person who interacts with me, but if shinigami eyes is lighting up on you and like 50% of your posts, you should know better than to show your face lol

[burritosandpeppermint]

I feel like I could say thousands and thousands of words and even just go nuts with research, and maybe go as far as to create - for the first time in my life - a video about everything in that screenshot, but here's the rub:

Even though I know who's been in charge at Twitter, and that he let the orange shit blossom back, and MTG is back as of today, reading the above tweets make me think "I should report- " and then my thought slammed against the brick wall of "They don't care anymore. In fact, they want this."

Like, I know this - I knew this - but sometimes you really have to have the active thought for you to run through your emotional gamut about it. And I feel sick. Sick that these people - who have gotten people killed and will do it again - are allowed to share their ideas so widely on a popular website and face no moderation, no consequences, for their hate and violence.

For me it's appalling; for Twitter it's a Tuesday.

I'm going to have to do some more serious thought about whether or not I'll ever be on Twitter again. It's possible I might, but I really don't think I want to be part of that anymore.

[moronic-validity]

Crayon post was unfortunately made by a terf :(

Just took it off my blog, thank you for pointing that out to me!!!

[crow-speaks]

what's with the sudden influx of TERFs? Get the fuck off my dash.

[insomni-frog]

A quick thing I made with a few of my characters that fit under the label to say

TERFS AND TRANSPHOBES AREN'T WELCOME HERE

If I haven't made that clear before

(Cream Sheep, the one in the middle, is MtF. While both Lorikeet, on the right, and Neapolitan, on the left, are here because they both made the choice to express themselves and their gender the way they want.)

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

Hello! I recently found your blog and wanted to thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us. Your posts about your journey in learning to embrace queer masculinity and your butch identity have been an absolute Goddess sent. If you have the bandwidth and are open to sharing, I would love to hear more about your process of separating masculinity from manhood and embracing queer masculinity. As a fellow trans femme trying to figure out if Butch works for me, I keep hitting roadblocks in learning to appreciate and embrace those masculine/chivalrous traits without identifying them with my formative experiences. I'm Colombian, and chivalry (unfortunately wound up with a lot of machismo) was essential to my upbringing. I resonated a lot with what you shared about pursuing hyperfeminity to leave behind masculinity, and I have reached a point where I can't sustain the hope of waking up and looking like Barbie one day and working toward appreciating the mortal coil I have and stage of transition I'm in. I apologize this got so verbose but I hope it made sense lol

Hey! So this was sent in a few days ago and I wanted to give time to sit on it. This is such a complicated and honestly deeply personal process. One person's relationship to masculinity will look entirely different than another.

It's been a process that I've been working through honestly most of my adult life, even before transitioning. I think there are two major factors that proved the most important, and they're pretty linked with eachother.

Find examples of healthy masculinity that speak to you.

I will preface that due to the nature of media, these will primarily come from men still. It's gonna happen. That is okay actually, it will lead into point 2. Finding healthy examples of masculinity was so necessary for me because masculinity was so wrapped up in just constant negativity. The harm so many men cause to women/queer people. Toxic masculinity and how those who perpetuated it shaped nearly every waking moment of my childhood/adolescence. The entire "anti-men" issue that fully plagues feminist and queer spaces, and how in most of those spaces men are hated on so casually you're looked at funny if you call it out.

Finding examples of both manhood and masculinity that were healthy and safe was so important in being able to reclaim masculinity. As a trans-feminine person I was never going to be able to even start to look at the process of first separating masculinity from manhood, nevermind reclaiming masculinity, if I wasn't able to first view both as not inherently bad. So, I'll provide three of my top examples of healthy masculinity that played really integral roles for me during the early phases of healing my own.

Lord of the Rings Now this is pretty much everyone's go-to, especially if you're a nerd like me. But there's good reason for that. While Tolkien has his slew of problems, from lack of women in the books, to the racist undertones of Orcs/Goblins, his works provide plenty of examples of healthy masculinity. No one would ever say Aragorn isn't masculine, he's peak "manly man". And yet, he's gentle. He's a healer. He recites and writes poetry (to the point that Bilbo goes to him for advice on how to finish a verse). He loves flowers and art and history. He's masculine, but he's unafraid of being soft, and he uses his masculinity to protect. To lead. To love. Not for malice. Samwise Gamgee is frankly a rolemodel to me. I used to joke he and two other fictional characters were my type in men, when in reality, they were my butch-coded role models (Malcolm Reynolds and Milo Thatch). Samwise is still firmly masculine. But he's the softest sweetest man out there, and I hope I can live up to the healthy masculinity he performs daily.

William Prince William is an Indigenous Canadian folk/country artist, who comes from the same neck of the woods I do in terms of region. His music has gotten me through so many tough times I can't even begin to express how important it is to me. One of the biggest reasons he is on this list is so much of his music explores being a man in a healthy way. Whether it is being a father, to the importance of healing your trauma before it hurts those you love, to the importance of being vulnerable as a man in general. Top three songs for some great healthy masculinity imo are "The Gun", "That's All I'll Ever Become", and while it isn't necessarily masculinity focused, "Run". My only other note with him is just uh. Don't listen to the "Gospel First Nation" album. He went a little "born again" during Covid and it nearly killed his career.

Arcane The writers of Arcane wrote gender so well it's ridiculous. You will find plenty of people on tumblr discussing how well it did women, but I think there isn't nearly enough praise for how well they wrote the men in the series. I could go into it more, but honestly, this video essay by my favourite video essayist Schnee details it beautifully (I'd also watch the sister video to this one about women in Arcane, it's pretty great). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBNUgGhPZzY

First and foremost finding healthy examples of masculinity in your life and the media you consume is so important. Find ways to separate those masculine traits you know you want to embody from the toxic ones like "machismo" as you put it. That way you can get into the next part.

Address Internalized Shame Surrounding Masculinity

This one is a doozy. I'm still working on it if I'm being honest. (I would also like to note that a lot of internalized shame work should be done with a professional if you can access one). Shame rules our lives if we let it, not just with gender. It affects everything. Work, family, food, hell shame makes people feel shameful about getting an extra hour of sleep here or there. It makes us hate when we want to just. Relax. It makes us hate when we ask for our needs to be met. Shame work is something EVERYONE should do, ekosi.

But as a trans person, whether or not you decide to claim butch, you MUST eventually look at that big ugly stain that is your shame with masculinity. Even the most hyper feminine of us trans-femmes must do so. Hatred and shame of men and masculinity will continue to fester if left unchecked no matter what. Yes, many men have done terrible things. Yes, we live in a society that favours men to the umpteenth degree and perpetuates toxic masculinity and patriarchy. Yes, as trans-feminine people we were and sometimes still are, associated with a lot of those perceptions and beliefs. It's an awful feeling and it makes you hate yourself. Part of why I went hyper feminine is because of how much I hated my shame. I was so shameful of being born male. Shameful of the fact that I was a "threat" in feminist spaces purely for existing. Shameful of how intimidating I would become if I ever raised my voice because of how powerful my diaphragm is, on top of my already large demeanor. That shame will eat you alive if left to persist, regardless of transition.

That shame must be dealt with. Masculinity cannot be shameful. I'm a complete buzzkill in a lot of queer and feminist spaces because I shut down sarcastic anti-men jokes pretty damn regularly. I shut down the joking perpetuation of the bi "all women and one (1) man" stereotypes. I shut down "ugh men" jokes. Whether or not people who make those regularly realize it or not, those jokes continue to tell men, cis or trans, they are unwanted in queer and feminist spaces. That their very existence is worthy of shame. (and no, the "trans men are an exception" thing doesn't provide an out. They're men too.) It is biphobic, it is transphobic, and it perpetuates colonial patriarchal systems still in place. That cannot be the case. Part of feminism is making masculinity a healthy thing. Part of why it is okay if your personal examples of healthy masculinity end up all being men is because men performing healthy masculinity adds to the overall de-shaming of it. Gender stops mattering when you de-shame masculinity. What matters is healthy masculinity as a whole. Once gender no longer matters for healthy masculinity, the next step of separating it from manhood kind of already did itself.

While there are other small things I've done throughout my life that helped with the overall separation of masculinity and manhood, that in turn allowed me to claim butch for myself, those two steps were absolutely integral in the process. I hope you're able to find things that work for you, and that these examples of mine were helpful to you. Thank you for the wonderful ask 💕

[a-kinda-nerdy-girl]

Listen I'm not usually patriotic, unless it's the olympics and american women are freaking killing it. Then I basically turn into a bald eagle.

[ghost-of-someone]

literally just saw some radfem bullshit on my dash, & then when I went to their blog to block them not only was it full of anti-trans half arguments & accusations of other people being childish, but one of the very first posts was about how a certain show would be better if one of the main characters was a young woman instead of an old man because they "don't like old people"

[g1deonthefirst]

[lucifer-kane]

i need to rewatch the Visceral Femininity bloodborne video essay rn

[zanmor]

We are well beyond canary in the coalmine warning levels with the way trans people and particularly trans women are treated on this site.

Maybe you've heard the metaphor of allowing wolves and sheep to share the same space, welcoming everyone. You end up with just wolves because allowing them in that space makes it unsafe for any sheep. Or the story about how a nazi goes into a dive bar and is refused service. The bartender then explains to someone else at the bar that if you serve them once they tell their friends and before you know it you're the nazi bar they all go to and normal customers don't feel safe.

Terfs and other bigots are seeing these targeted harassment campaigns succeed against trans women and rejoicing. They see Tumblr ban them and officially stand by those decisions as endorsement for their harassment. It's a sign to bigots across the internet that Tumblr is a good place for them.

And what's more is that a lot of us probably don't realize just how much trans women contribute to Tumblr. The women banned recently were sources of site-wide memes and posts I wasn't even aware originated from them.any years old memes and references can be traced back to trans women on this site.

How many of these folks have to be removed before this is no longer a site you want to be a part of it? Sure you cultivate your own experience, but you can't follow or interact with people who aren't here. And if I wanted to interact with the nazis and terfs I'd go to reddit.

I encourage everyone to reblog this. Trans women shouldn't have to be the only ones speaking out against the bigotry they're experiencing. They shouldn't be the only ones risking their blogs being nuked by staff. We have to stand with them.

[aromacaque]

TERF? you mean

T your

E mom

R in my

F sheets ?

[sir4kitty]

Saw a post about men who don't prioritize or care about women's pleasure, and a man responded by saying if men don't care about a woman's pleasure, why do men take all these penis enlarging and enhancing pills and treatments?

The obsession with dick size that cis men have has absolutely nothing to do with women. They do not want bigger dicks to please women. I have seen so many men say they don't care about hurting a woman, or actively WANT to hurt a woman, during sex because feeling like their dick is big strokes their ego.

Men want big dicks to compete with other cis men and to get validation for their manliness and manhood.

[stop-stealing-my-username]

Well my blocked list just got a mile long, turns out there's a weird number of TERFs who have made themselves comfortable in GNC women's spaces and I don't have time for that shit

[sunset-synthetica]

i know the joke exists for a reason but GENUINELY 80% of transandrophobia truthers have a blog thats like. a possum in the header and a bio that's like HE/HIM ACHILLEAN, fuck TERFs (trans men are men, man haters aren't welcome here, I think TERFs only target transmascs) MAINLY INTO THE OWL HOUSE AND TRANSFORMERS, 30, WHITE, I think transfems are okay but WATCH YOUR STEP,

[onethirdofimpossible]

terfs aren't welcome here