#Thanks so much for the ask! it was fun to finally do something for Missy lol

[the-spirit-of-adventure]

I have a question for Missy! What was it that drew you to K’nuckles?

Missy: ... I thought he loved me.

[capybaraonabicycle]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you so much for tagging me @ravenlilyrose! I had way too much fun with this :D

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55 :)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

249,677

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who! 49 of those fics are for dw and all the other fandoms only have one fic to them each. Those are:

Le Visiteur du Futur

Edgar Allan Poe's Murder Mystery Dinner Party

Fremvandrerne

The Penderwicks Series (Jeanne Birdsall)

Linie 1 (I've actually written the only fic in that fandom)

Die Känguru Chroniken (Marc-Uwe Kling)

Le Petit Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)

Headless (A Sleepy Hollow Story)

36 Questions

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

A Family Wedding (Spacewives getting married and Jenny attending their wedding and meeting so many of her mum's friends, including her grandparents <3)

Come with me? (my second fic on ao3! Reader-insert with River, 11 and Missy squabbling over who gets to ask the reader out on a date. There is a lovely alien planet and species I made up and someone is stealing art. Also involves Bill, Nardi and 12 going to pride for some reason)

Fix you(r hair) (soft and sad twissy hairbrushing during vault time <3)

Take in one last sunrise (13 asks the TARDIS for a sunrise when regenerating and she takes her to Darillium. Tenteen falls right back into his old mannerisms and consequently hurts River. They talk it out and some hope is found in the appearance of the old-new body)

Night Light (Very sweet 12/reader reader insert. I wrote this to comfort myself when things were rough and I think (if you like reader-inserts) this is my most comforting, calming fic)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always. There was like one that I had to delete but I adore comments and I always need to let the commenter know. I am also quite a self-indulgent comment answerer, the answers often turn out longer than the original comment

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think that'd be We've got to tell them. It's a Mels x Reader fic - which I guess is bound to be angsty. And the second chapter is already pretty bad with the reader getting her heart broken. And then the third chapter is Mels' inner monologue on her just losing it. So. Yeah.

(- I was going to put the ending here as a little snippet. But it is actually really dark and I decided against it. But, yeah, feel free to check out the angst?)

Runner ups are Forget Me Not (Or: Stealing a TARDIS and Running Away) and The One Time You Want to Say Goodbye, two fics that describe the same situation from two different perspectives. This one is between Mels and the fugitive Doctor. Mels is a rather tragic character </3

Finally, Mels turned back to the Doctor, leaning up and pressing one last, lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Goodbye, Doctor.” “Goodbye, Mels.” Ever so gently, the Doctor’s fingertips landed on her temple, taking her old life away.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

There are a bunch among my fics that are just pure fluff, so maybe let's choose something with a bigger development from angst to fluff.

A Bright Blue Box does that! It's a Jenny & fugitive Doctor fic and in the beginning, they're both on their own. But then Jenny fights for the Doctor to adopt her and in the end they fly away together.

“Come on, then” her mum said finally. “We should get you to the medic wing.” “In a second” Jenny murmured, savouring the hug. Her mum chuckled into her hair. “Alright” she agreed. “Whenever you’re ready.”

The woman who kills the Doctor also has an extreme development from very angsty to very lighthearted in the last chapter. Mels assassinates the Doctor in chapter 2 and in the last chapter she is off to university, ready to grow into River Song. There is a little bit of sadness here because she is leaving but mostly it is so hopeful and uplifting after all the heavy load you read before. So I feel like I need to mention it here:

“Don't make me late” she winked while [the Doctor] fiddled with the coordinates. “First impressions are important.” “Oh, you’ll leave an impression, alright” he murmured as he passed her. “Luna won't know what hit them with you as their student.” He smiled at her fondly, saying her name with such reverence it made her heart flutter. “They’ll be so lucky to have you, River Song.”

There's a storm coming tonight is also worthy of a mention. This one is pure fluff but has such a soft, almost cheesy, ending when canon wouldn't give them softness <3

[Alfhildr] felt the first drops of rain landing on her skin and Tore’s warm hand in hers. Heard the howling of the wind increase and drown out the affectionate insults Urd was shooting at them. Saw the dark, bulky clouds gather over their heads, right before they entered their house, shutting the storm out. And knew that, whatever might happen that night, they were ready. Because they were together and that was all that mattered.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, no. I had one incident where someone thought it appropriate to tell me they'd rather I had used another incarnation of the Doctor because they disliked the regeneration I wrote for. Which I deleted after some consideration. Because - what? That is my decision to make and also I happen to like this Doctor, please keep your hate to your own space and out of my comment section.

But I have never received hate for my fics themselves, so this far I have been very lucky

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, not as of yet. I write some more sensual kissing sometimes and quite often smut is implied, but so far I have never actually written the smut itself. I don't think I could write that very well tbh.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes! Nothing crazy, really. I have written 3 dw crossovers so far, with Headless, with The Little Prince and with The Kangaroo Chronicles.

The craziest is probably Gallifreyan Rules, just because the kangaroo is a rather unhinged character by itself. And the Doctor in its role has got to be a little intense.

“Do you want money?” the Doctor asked, grabbing for the bank and throwing some notes at her. “There’s plenty of money here, take all you want.” “You can’t do that” Clara said calmly, inwardly grasping for the last remains of her patience. “Of course, I can” the Doctor chuckled, reaching into the bank again. “Do you want some more?” This time one of the notes got stuck in her hair. “That’s against the rules.” “No, it’s not” the Doctor stated. “This is Gallifreyan Monopoly.” “You said it used the same rules as the Earth one” Clara sighed, detangling the banknote and carefully placing it back into the box. “Yeah, but someone just made those up” the Doctor shrugged. “And I just made up some new rules.”

(most of the fic is directly translated from the chapter "New Rules" with names and details exchanged - I actually talked to the ao3 support about plagiarism issues and they said it was okay like this)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I had someone copy-paste a comment I wrote once though 😅 which was strange, but well, I think it was mostly uncomfortable for the author

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translated my very first fic on ao3, The Responsible Thing to Do! There is a German version here.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I tried once, ages ago. It didn't go very far. I would definitely be interested in trying again though.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Let's have a look, shall we?

[ID: screenshot of the ao3 relationships filter, showing the top 6 relationship tags: The Doctor/River Song (9), The Doctor | Ruth Clayton/River Song (6), The Doctor | Ruth Clayton/Mels Zucker (6), Twelfth Doctor/River Song (4), Amy Pond/Rory Williams (3) and Thirteenth Doctor/River Song (3). end ID]

Well.....that must be Doctorriver, then 😅

Funfact, I did not tag every Doctorriver story with that exact tag (but using incarnations instead), so if you filter for Doctorriver, you'll end up with 25 fics!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh God, definitely Dancing with the Doctor. I watched Dancing with the stars again some time ago and thought to myself "It would be really lovely to continue that fic some day, wouldn't it?" But tbh, I don't think I will. Human AUs are not really my thing to write, long fics aren't really my thing, either, and this idea is already way too complicated. But it is so cute, putting them all in this little (very queer) dancing community <3

There is Bill & River and Jack/River and Yaz & Ryan and the Paternoster Gang and Donna & 10 and Jackie & 13 and Dan has a dog called Karvanista and Swarm is busy pissing everyone off and it is just very, very sweet and so much fun to write. Just like, look:

[Jack] pulled lightly on River’s hair – which got him a deadly stare – and grinned to himself. “On second thought, you’re right, Billy” he decided. “I am out of River’s league.” “Everyone knows I’m a league of my own” River smiled, reaching for his hand to intertwine their fingers. “But it’s cute how you’re trying to talk yourself up.” “So, you’re properly married?” Bill asked again. “For real?” “What do you say, hon?” Jack asked, tilting his head. “Are we married?” “Heavens no” River grinned. “Then we would have shared income! I can do better than the scraps you make.”

(the joke here is that they're both working the same job btw. also, no, they aren't married but they basically are; they're best friends at the very least.)

“I’m Jenny”, she answered. “Welcome to the Paternoster Realm, Ma’am. We’ll be making sure you're looking great in the shows.” “Not that that’ll be much work with you” Vastra chimed in, gliding towards them in one of the opulent black gowns she liked to wear. “My, you are gorgeous! Breath-taking, I’ll say. Who will you be dancing with?” “That’s Vastra” Jenny said and added rather pointedly: “My wife.”

“Jo, I won’t be dancing with you” Yaz said and her voice was too earnest for it to be a joke. “You will have another partner.” “Oh” she said softly. “I assumed…” “I know” Yaz said. “But I didn’t really have a choice. And even if…I think it’s better that we’re not dancing together. The show can get tough and you might need a friend. One who is not forcing you to repeat that stupid pirouette for the hundredth time.” “I’d have Ryan” Jo said stubbornly, even if she knew there was no point. Ryan looked surprised and very happy to have been called her friend already and Yaz smiled as well. “You’ll have Ryan anyway” she promised. “And me. Plus, a mighty fine dance partner, if you ask me. You’ll love them, I just know.”

Sorry if that were too many extracts (actually, I am quite sure you're not even supposed to put extracts into this questionnaire at all but anyway) but there are 20k of this fic existing that I fear I will never do anything with.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I am good at dialogue? Like coming up with quips and making a conversation flow between two people or even more (although more than three people is tough, like it must be for anybody). I also like writing introspection, characters reflecting on their feelings, and I have gotten some compliments for this :) I have also gotten compliments for general characterisation which make me giddy with happiness even though I sometimes find them hard to believe.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing stuff :) Also anything long and plot-y. I have trouble making the story work as a whole and have a dramatic arc. Sometimes it feels more like different short works smashed together than one fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I have never done this? I think? I speak like three languages that would be useful for this, but I think I would always rather write that someone was speaking in a language the narrator doesn't understand or just translate it directly in a "[English sentence]" they said in [language that isn't English] - way, if the narrator does speak the language.

I do love it in books when something is in French or German though and I understand it :D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hp.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is so difficult 😅 Maybe The Rose? It's the only one of my fics I've made fanart for and I love the art a lot as well (it's the header on my blog). I love 12 and I love The Little Prince and the rose was so much fun to write. The whole ambience of the fic is delightful, so calm and contemplative and sad and hopeful. And it was written for the Love is in the air writing challenge for Valentine's day specifically to be a platonic fic. Idk, I like that one a lot.

Okay, so I'll be tagging a bunch of people who I know write because this was fun and I would love to hear about your fics! But feel free to ignore this <3 And if I should have missed your blog, and you want to be, please consider yourself tagged anyway!

@marvellouspinecone, @trekkingaroundasgard, @jennyandvastraflint, @pia-writes-things, @riversofmars, @thembosupreme, @songofdefiance, @none-ofthisnonsense, @frogsmulder, @spacewives-in-spacetime, @spacebetweengalaxies, @gender-snatched, @helennorvilles

[skwistokgetalongshirt]

PUTTING THIS UNDER A READ MORE BECAUSE I'M JUST SHY ABOUT THIS...

Anyway, I also made a day 1 of Winter WonderKlok that includes my OC Missy and her guys. I plan on writing more about them and of course more in depth things BUT FOR NOW some silly Winter WonderKlok fun things.

This was Missy’s first time experiencing snow and she was pretty sure she was severely under prepared for this. Despite dressing in layers  as Skwisgaar had suggested, it definitely wasn’t enough. Her legs felt frozen, and despite moving forward through the snow she was worried her body would freeze at any moment.  It must’ve been noticeable since Toki ended up heading over and scooped Missy up to carry her.

“Pff… Shows off.” Skwisgaar mumbled under his breath.

“Th-thank… Y-you…” Missy managed to say, now burying her face against Toki’s chest desperate for his warmth.

“Welcomes. Cant’s believes you ammnst never been in snows befores!” Toki exclaimed, still holding Missy close to him. He could feel how much she was shivering even still. “Do you wants to go backs inside?” He sounded concerned - he didn’t want Missy to get sick.

“N-no… No, I’m okay.” Missy said. Yeah, she was freezing but she also didn’t want to miss out on the chance to make her first snowman!

“Okays… So…” Skwisgaar began to say when they finally got to a good spot with enough snow. “You gots to move the snows close togethers to bunch up enough snow to makes this.”

Missy was still clinging tightly to Toki but she looked over to watch Skwisgaar’s demonstration. 

Skwisgaar seemed to be struggling with bundling up the snow together, so Toki used this opportunity to gently set Missy down to go over to help Skwisgaar. 

“Skwisgaar you gots to do it likes this…” Toki seemed to be able to bundle up snow far more quickly and rolled it together much faster than Skwisgaar.  “You ams taking too longs, Missy ams goings to freeze.”

“Fines. Then you finish it and I’ll keep her warms…” Skwisgaar released the snow he was holding and went over to hold Missy instead. Since Skwisgaar was touching the snow, she felt the remnants of snow that had been on his jacket and when he hugged her she swore she could feel the coldness making its way through her layers.

“It’s way too cold for me out here. Maybe… I could just wait inside and I’ll come back when you two are done?” Missy suggested, she seriously felt like her toes were starting to freeze, unless they were frozen already.

“No Missy! You gots to builds it with us!” Toki exclaimed, he went over to bring her close to him again in an attempt to keep her warm. “We’ll be fast… Promise. Wants you to experience snowman’s building.”

“Okay, okay…” Missy was still a little reluctant, but she also didn’t want to disappoint Toki. She could tell Skwisgaar didn’t mind if they ended up ditching the whole ‘snowman building idea’. 

“Comes on Skwisgaar, lets hurries so Missy doesn’t freeze.” Toki got back to bunching up more snow. 

“What do you thinks I ams doing?” Skwisgaar was still having a hard time bunching enough snow to roll into a good size. It had been such a long time since he did this. 

— 

“Theres! See!” Toki exclaimed happily now showing Missy their snowman. Well, so far it was just three snowballs stacked on top of each other. 

“Now we just needs decorations…” Skwisgaar looked at the snowman. He wasn’t sure what to add to this. 

“Don’t they usually use um… Sticks and carrots and… coal or something?” Missy asked, she had only seen what they looked like on TV. 

“Yeahs, if you wants a BORINGS snowmans… Gots to be more creatives.” Toki reached into his pocket. “I gots some crayons… Uhh gonna use them as horns. Skwisgaar what do you haves?”

Skwisgaar reached into his pocket, he had some pills in his pocket which he didn’t even remember what they were… Maybe something Pickles wanted him to take when they were drunk? He thinks one was a vitamin and maybe a pain killer… Who knows what other pills were. “Coulds use these for somethinks maybe?”

Missy’s smile seemed to fade… just what kind of snowman would this be anyway? She made eye contact with Toki and knew this meant her turn was next. She reached into her pocket, she had a guitar pick in there. “I just have this.”

“Okays, goods! Comes here Missy…You cans puts the decorations up!” Toki sounded so excited to let her do this.

“Okay.” Missy nodded and stepped forward. Poor snowman… doesn’t even have arms. Maybe she’d find some sticks for it later. She took Toki’s crayons first and stuck them on either side of its head to make the horns that Toki requested. Next, the various…pills that were in Skwisgaar’s pocket. She decided to make eyes for him, and the guitar pick of course ended up being the nose. 

“Wowie! Your first snowmans!” Toki clapped his hands together excitedly.

“Snowsman… mores like sadmans…” Skwisgaar chuckled a bit to himself, seemingly proud of the joke he just made.

Toki didn’t find it funny though, he just frowned.

“It’s still very…incomplete.” Missy said as she stepped back to take a look at it from afar. No arms, no hat, no smile… She almost felt bad for it.

“Don’t worries Missy! We cans get more things and makes it better! Wants to make sures you have a goods time… Wants to make sures your first snowmans ams the best one!” Toki exclaimed.

Missy couldn’t help but smile a little at that, although Skwisgaar just stood crossing his arms to his chest. Stupid Toki and this snowman idea… if they picked what he wanted to do they’d probably do something better in the snow like maybe ice skating or sledding. 

“Thank you Toki! Let’s go get some more stuff for the snowman… and I think I need more layers too. I’m freezing…” This time Missy huddled up to Skwisgaar, she could tell he was feeling a bit grumpier than usual since Toki seemed to be more into this idea than he was. At least having Missy huddled up to him like that made Skwisgaar smile ever so slightly knowing she was closer to him now. 

“Yeah, alrights! Let’s go backs inside, gets you warmed up, and then we’ll finish this!” Toki eagerly wedged himself inbetween Missy and Skwisgaar putting his arms around both of them as he led them back inside. 

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 In Darkness I Found You 🔞

Chapter 13

Tags: None! This is entirely filler!

The middle of October rolled around and everyone was staring at Yoongi like he was a ticking time bomb. His due date was 2 weeks away, but Yuna had said the pup could arrive anytime. Yoongi was getting tired of being stared at. He was also tired of being pregnant.

“Let’s have a party,” Hobi suggested one afternoon.

“A party?” Yoongi repeated.

“Well, we never had a birthday party for Kookie, Jin is 6 months which is definitely time for a puppy shower, and we’re coming up on Halloween,” Hobi said.

“That’s a lot to cram into one party,” Yoongi said.

“Our social lives are about to become very limited, my love,” Hobi said.

“Fair enough,” Yoongi rubbed his belly.

“What do you say?” he asked.

“Sure,” Yoongi said. “Though I have no idea who we’ll invite.”

“I’ll take care of that. Can I paint the bump to look like a jack o lantern?” Hobi asked. Yoongi gave him a death stare. He laughed.

“How about just a maternity top with a pumpkin on it?” Hobi suggested.

“Fine,” Yoongi sighed.

“I love you,” Hobi gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Pain in my ass,” Yoongi grumbled.

“You’re confusing me with the pup,” Hobi teased.

“Both of you,” Yoongi said.

Three days later, Hobi and Kookie had decked out the house in Halloween decorations. Hobi had all Halloween themed snacks and drinks. Kookie was more than happy to help his brother in law. It was the first fun he’d had in a long time. The guest list consisted of Yuna and her mate, Jen and her mate, and Namjoon, Jin, and Jisoo. Jin had 3 more months to go and wasn’t much smaller than Yoongi.

“We finally caved and found out. Girl and a boy. Then I’m done,” Jin told Yoongi.

“I can’t blame you,” Yoongi said. “Hobi said we could stop with this one.”

“You going to?” Jin asked.

“I dunno,” Yoongi looked down at the bump. “Part of me feels bad knowing this isn’t his pup, but I’ve done it so many times and I’m prone to multiples.”

“No need to decide now,” Jin told him. “We did bring you something.” He reached over and grabbed a bag.

“These were Jisoo’s. She was on the small side when she was a newborn and they’re not super girly. Joon didn’t want to force her into pink and frilly. They’ll be too big for the twins. I thought you could use them,” he said.

Yoongi took the bag and pulled out a onesie.

“Thank you. We haven’t gone shopping since everyone is convinced I’m going to give birth any second. Pup thanks you very much,” Yoongi smiled. He knew it was probably difficult for Namjoon to part with these. They were full of memories of being a single parent and knowing how deeply he loved Jisoo. He would love the twins, but Jisoo was special. She’s why he and Jin even met in the first place. His first mate’s dying wish to free the Breeder who gave birth to their daughter. Jisoo would always be Namjoon’s favorite whether he knew it or not.

“I’m gonna get you!” Kookie came running through the living room chasing the giggling toddler. He caught her and spun them around.

“Give Uncle Kookie a kiss,” he tapped his cheek. Jisoo planted a wet kiss on his cheek. He kissed her back and nuzzled her. She squealed and giggled.

“Practicing?” Jin teased.

“You don’t want me entertaining your kid?” Kookie replied, balancing Jisoo on his hip.

“Can I have cake?” she asked.

“Ask your daddy,” Kookie told her.

“Omega Daddy, can I have cake?” She asked.

“A small piece. I don’t want you up all night,” Jin said.

“Let’s get you some cake, missy,” Kookie carried her to the kitchen where Namjoon and Namjoon gave Kookie a look when he put Jisoo down and started cutting a piece of cake.

“Jin said she could have some,” he said.

“You want some, Alpha Daddy?” she asked, standing on one of the chairs.

“Alpha Daddy already had cake,” he plucked her from the chair and hugged her. “I love you, JiJi.”

“I love you, Alpha Daddy,” she hugged him around his neck. Anyone who knew the circumstances of her birth knew there was more to those words than a father and daughter exchanging affection.

“Cake time?” Kookie held out a plate.

“Yup!” Namjoon put Jisoo down and Kookie took the toddler back into the living room.

“Have you ever thought about getting the farm shut down?” Hobi asked Namjoon.

“Hundreds of times. Problem is I never got close enough to figure out where it was. I stopped at the same place on the road, but they took me there on ATVs blindfolded and it was a different route every time. They’re not just good. They’re very good “ he replied.

“How’d you find out about it in the first place?” Hobi asked.

“I didn’t. My mate did. He gave me the information,” Namjoon replied.

“Yoongi gave me a name,” Hobi said.

“Which was?” Namjoon asked.

“Park Jimin,”

“Oh fuck,” Namjoon almost dropped his drink.

“What? What about him?” Hobi asked.

“He’s bad news like really bad news. I had no idea he was behind this,” Namjoon said.

“You’re still not helping,” Hobi told him.

“We’ve been trying to get him on drug trafficking for almost 5 years. I guess we need to add sex trafficking to the list. I was inside he damn network and didn’t even know it,” Namjoon was about 10 seconds away from losing his temper.

“Look, Kookie said something about finding a trail that led to a road and that’s how he made it out alive. It took Yoongi 2 days to get here. If you remember where you used to park then maybe we can narrow down a search area,” Hobi said. “We can find him.”

“You think?” Namjoon asked.

“It’s a start,” Hobi shrugged.

“Did you have fun?” Hobi asked when they got into bed.

“I did. I think we’re slowly beginning to have normal conversations,” Yoongi replied.

“Good,” Hobi grinned.

“What were you and Joon talking about?” Yoongi asked.

“Just doing a little Alpha bonding. I think we finally understand each other,” Hobi said. “He adores Jisoo.”

“He does,” Yoongi smiled. “I think Kookie’s warming up to her, too.”

“He’ll be a great dad someday,” Hobi replied.

“So will you,” Yoongi touched Hobi’s face.

“That someday is getting here pretty quick,” Hobi said.

“I feel like I’ve been pregnant for a year,” Yoongi sighed.

“Not quite,” Hobi replied.

“You asked me if I remembered the night we met. At first, all I really remembered was fear and pain. I was convinced I was going to die and I didn’t care. Then I wasn’t in the rain anymore. I heard your voice. I smelled you. I’d never smelled an Alpha like you before. Something about your smell made me care again. This Alpha, this oddly comforting smelling Alpha, saved my life. If you cared enough to save me then the least I could do was care if I lived or died. You pulled me from the darkness, Hobi. You pulled us from the darkness,” Yoongi told him. Hobi was fighting back tears.

“I wouldn’t change a single thing,” he said.

“I know,” Yoongi smiled at him.

“If someone told me at the beginning of April that not only would I find a mate, but I’d be stupid in love with him and counting down the days until I’m a dad I would’ve accused them of a really terrible April Fool’s joke. Yet here I am,” Hobi hugged Yoongi and put his hands on the bump. The pup kicked. “Yes little one. Alpha Daddy can’t wait to meet you.”

“Omega Daddy is excited, too. Granted it’s for different reasons,” Yoongi said. “Stupid in love with me, huh?”

“Stupid in love with you,” Hobi confirmed.

“I’m pretty stupid in love with you, too,” Yoongi agreed.

“Good,” Hobi kissed the back of Yoongi’s head. “Only good dreams tonight.”

“Only good dreams,” Yoongi repeated. The pup kicked as if to agree with both of them.

[therealms-number1angirl]

i forget how the west was won

Raisa pushes Han into her room, quickly shutting the door behind them and pressing her back to it. 

“So…” Han mutters, dropping their luggage on the floor, and flopping backwards onto her childhood bed. “I knew that you were planning my murder.”

Raisa shrugs. “What can I say. I’ve always yearned to be a widow.” 

“Seriously, what was that?” Han asks, not even bothering to sit up as he asks the question. “I thought we were at least gonna wait until you introduced me to some of the people there, or I dunno, we weren’t surrounded!” 

Raisa winces in sympathy, walking over to the bed, and taking a seat next to him. “I know, I’m sorry. I should’ve waited. I was going to wait. But then—“ 

“You thought that it would be fun to see me get murdered?” Han guesses. 

Raisa rolls her eyes, flopping onto the bed as well so that they were lying side by side. “My mother was just so annoying!” 

“The way she kept fussing over your hair?” Han guesses. 

Raisa hesitates. “Well, yeah. But, also the way she treated you! She wouldn’t even shake your hand!” Raisa takes a calming breath. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but her mother’s treatment of Han was what had annoyed her most of all. 

Han was one of her best friends. Her closest confidant ever since they cooked up this plan of theirs. He deserved to be treated with respect.  

Han grabs Raisa’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the gold band of her wedding ring. 

Wedding ring. 

Bloody bones, she still hasn’t quite gotten used to it, and it’s been over a month since she’s started wearing it. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I survived.” He pauses. “For now.” 

Raisa lets out a short laugh, when a small chime from Han’s phone interrupts them. 

“Your sister just sent me a follow request.” 

Raisa shrugs. “Makes sense. I’m sure they’re all downstairs trying to discover your entire history right now.”

“How fun.” Han deadpans. 

“You should definitely accept that, or she’s going to tell everyone that you have something to hide.”

“I do have something to hide. As do you.”

Raisa rolls her eyes. “They don’t need to know that, though. She’s probably already suspicious about the fact that you only have a private Twitter account.”

Han’s eyebrows furrow. “Why?”

Raisa places her left hand over his, which are cradling his phone. “Because Mellony’s whole life is online. She doesn’t understand people that don’t share everything on the internet.”

“Hmm.” Han hums, hesitantly accepting the follower request. “I’m learning so much about my sister in law.”

“Believe it or not, she’s the easiest one to win over.” 

Han groans, finally sitting up. “Okay, so give me the official run down of everyone planning my murder down stairs.” 

Raisa reluctantly sits up too, cupping Han’s shoulder with her chin. “Okay, so you met my mother. My father was—“ 

“The other one who hugged you.” Han jumps in. “I kind of figured that one out.” 

“Fair enough. Then, there’s my grandmother, Elena.” 

“She’s the one who looked like she swallowed a lemon when she shook my hand?” 

“That’s the one.” Raisa sighs. “The big, bald guy was my Uncle Lassiter, and the girl next to him, with the big rack and the small brain,” Han snorts at her description. “Is his daughter, my cousin Missy. Then there are the… non-related people.” 

Han nods. “Yeah, you didn’t prepare me for them.” 

“Because I was praying that for once a family get together would just be between the family.” Raisa groans, annoyance with her mother beginning to creep up again, before she quickly pushes it down. She wouldn’t have much time to get through this before they were called down to dinner. “Nightwalker is here.” 

Han blinks. “His name is Nightwalker?” 

“Actually, it’s Reid, but everyone calls him Nightwalker because— well—“

“Don’t worry, with a name like Nightwalker, I can figure it out.” Han assures her. 

”Oh, thank the Maker. He’s my father’s protege. My dad is planning on passing down his company to him when he finally retires.” 

“Over both you and your sister?” Han asks. 

Raisa rolls her eyes. “Yeah, it’s a whole thing. Then, there’s the Bayars.” She follows the name with an eye roll just to make sure that her distaste is known. 

“Bayar…” Han rolls the name off of his tongue. “Wait, you’ve mentioned that name before.” His eyebrows rise to his hairline. “Is he the one—“

“Yes,” Raisa grits out. “He is.”

“And he’s at your house? For Christmas?”  

Raisa waves him off. “I told you, my family is a fucking mess. Anyway, Gavan is the one that looks like a movie villain brought to life. His kids, Fiona and Micah, they’re our age, but awful in their own ways. Don’t take anything they say to heart, but they will more than likely try to destroy your very soul.” 

“Lovely.” 

Raisa gives him a tight-lipped smile. “Aren’t they?” 

She hears the sound of the house’s intercom go off. “It’s dinner time!” Someone announces from the kitchen. 

Raisa sighs deeply, standing up, and wiping imaginary dust away from her clothes. “That’s our cue.” As she starts walking to her door, she quickly spins on her heel as a new thought occurs to her. “Oh, wait, I did forget to mention one thing.” 

“What’s that?” Han asks, standing so close to her that she momentarily gets distracted by the sight of his stubbled jaw. “Raisa?” 

“Oh, right… Just so you aren’t completely blindsided, you should know that Nightwalker and Micah are my ex-boyfriends, and they were probably both invited so that my parents could set us up.” She quickly presses a chaste kiss to his lips before he could say anything. “You’ll do great, though!” 

First | Prev | Next

[adonis-koo]

my little sun

my wife

my love

my queen

my goddess

love of my life

OOOOOF MISSY THIS NEW CHAPTER KILLED ME!!!!! THEY ARE SO CUTE SO LOVELY SO IN LOVE MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT THEY ARE SO IN LOVE

seeing jungkook being this open about being in love with her is wholesome, I can't wait to see more of their domestic life together! poor princess, I hope she learns how to tame her demons, with wheein by her side again and this new chapter of her marriage (how much fun is jk going to have trying to teach her things and slowly discover her more unhinged side👀👀) I hope she will feel alright again.

also..... mmh I honestly forgot about the ball! so many things happened but something tell me we need to keep an eye out for that... am I right? 👀

aaah missy, thank you so much for sharing once again your amazing stories with us! I will come back with a more in depth ask about this new chapter but it's currently 2 am and I need to be up in 5 hours yikes

it was amazing getting to read wicked again I love this story so much

thank you again missy 💗

ok bye! 💖

!!!!! I’m so happy everyone is going feral at the ABSURD amount of pet names in this chapter 😫 i didnt event mean for it to happen it just did!!

I feel like for Jungkook, he’s just gotten so tired of the drama, the high stake events and the constant tip toeing around the dreaded L word, at this point he just wants to love her, be loved and not be bothered by anything else 😭 which if someone as stoic and non-expressive as him has finally broken down, then you know it’s pretty bad 😭 We can only hope that now that MC’s support net work is no longer in peril, that they can help her mental stability!!

And YES!!! We haven’t talked about the Yule Ball in so long! I’m very excited because this has been a concept that I’ve been wanting to write for SUCH a long time, but like, truthfully I’ve had so much other stuff to plan that now that I’m here I’m just like…😖 I have lots of outlining too do. Because while I can confidently say we are approaching endgame soon, we have YET to reach the climax of the story.

Thank you for reading my lovey!!! I always enjoy hearing everyone’s thoughts about the chapter!! 🥰🖤🖤🖤

[sir-thisisadndserver]

Motherly Talks

Pairing: Marcus Moreno & female!reader

WC: 1126

Rating: fluff, angst

Tags: reader and Marcus call Missy baby bear, established marriage, teen angst, reader has Mama bear instincts

Prompt: You and Marcus are married, you’ve been in Missy’s life ever since she was born. (You guys married years after her mom died) Missy comes home from school in tears after being made fun of for not having powers. Marcus is working late. Poor baby is drowning in self-doubt. She feels that not having any powers is disappointing to both of her Heroic parents, no matter how much they reassure her that they are proud of her. And yes I did use Abileen's mantra for Mae Mobley from The Help but I added my own stuff to it.

“UGGGHHHH!!!” is the shriek you hear, coming after a slam of the front door. Both which make you jump out of your skin while trying to plan dinner for your little family. You had only just gotten off the phone with Marcus, he had to stay late at HQ. Mama-bear instincts quickly kick in after the initial shock wears off. “Missy, what happened honey?” you ask her, trying to tread lightly so as to not anger her more. *cue dramatic teenage sigh* “People happened, Mom” she growls, while looking at her feet so as to not let you see the tears of frustrated defeat in her eyes. “What people, honey? People at school?” you pressed on, being gentle so as not to ‘poke the bear’ as Marcus would say. “God. It’s not a big deal! Why do you care so much?!” she shot, storming off to her room.

Now normally, you would press more to try and figure out what was upsetting her so much, but knowing that she tended to lash out when cornered like that, you opted to instead order from her favourite pizza place and give her some space, until she had calmed down a bit.

*30 mins later*

After the pizza had arrived, you went about setting some aside for Marcus to eat when he got home, as well as setting a plate with extra garlic bread; your peace offering to Missy. You set yourself a plate, and set off to Missy’s room, somehow managing to gently knock on her door despite balancing two plates full of food.

“Come in…” came Missy’s quiet voice. The fact that she wasn’t yelling was somewhat of a good sign, but you knew in your gut that she was still hurting from whatever happened today. Pushing the door open with your hip, you entered Missy’s room, balancing your two plates with both hands. Missy was sitting on her bed, hugging her knees. “Hey baby bear. Hungry?” you asked gently, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, lifting her head just enough to accept the outstretched plate. You both just sat for a bit, quietly munching on your food. As you sat, you watched her, scanning her body language for her tells that she’s ready to talk. Upon doing so, you noticed that she had donned her favorite of Marcus’ hoodies- something she did only when she was anxious- which dwarfed her small figure.

After what felt like hours, and the plates were cleared away, she piped up. “Kids at school,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “They were making fun of me for not having powers”, she continued, refusing to make eye contact with you. “How so?” you asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. “They kept saying that I was a disappointment to you and Dad, since you both have powers and I don’t” she continued, shifting in her spot on the bed, “I didn’t listen to them at first but then they brought up my birth mom…”.

At the last word, she turned her head to face you, which showed her puffy, red eyes from crying. “They-“ she stammered, her lips starting to quiver, “they said that my birth mom would be disappointed in me”. she whispered, the harsh words echoing in her mind. “Oh honey…” you said, immediately pulling her into your lap. The action broke the final barrier Missy had up and sent her into another fit of sobs, burying her face into your neck, her thin arms wrapping around your neck in an attempt to bring you closer to her.

“Shhhh, it’s okay baby bear”, you whispered, stroking her hair while rubbing her back and placing gentle kisses on her forehead. “I’ve got you”. you assured her, pushing your anger at the kids down.

*10 minutes later*

After continuous minutes of soothing Missy, her sobs eventually slowed and became soft sniffles. “Why would they say that, Mom?” she whispered, her words muffled by her face still being nuzzled into your neck.

“Say what?”, a familiar voice said. “Hey honey”, you said, shifting Missy so that you could look at your husband better. “Bad day at school”, you mouthed, trying not to move her too much.

“Want me to tell him, baby bear?” you whispered to Missy, wanting for Marcus to know, but also wanting to respect Missy’s current state. “No, it’s okay. I’ll tell him”, she said, her voice hoarse from crying. She turned to face her dad, still not moving from her spot in your lap. As she began to re-tell the events of the school day, Marcus sat on the end of the bed across from the two of you, giving her a hand to hold.

After Missy had finished talking, the three of you sat in silence for a few moments. “Honey, you know that stuff isn’t true, right?”, asked Marcus, his chocolate eyes glistening with sadness at seeing his daughter in distress. “I know, Dad. But it just hurt a lot. And I got in my head about it and couldn’t help but start to think that it could be”, she rambled, breathing out a sigh of relief.

“Missy, you know that we could never be disappointed in you. I can’t speak for your birth mom, but I have a feeling that she would be very proud of the person you’ve become”, you said calmly, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “While you may not have magnetic powers like your dad, or shield powers like me, you do have a power. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, and always find a way to be nice to everyone you meet.” you finish, Marcus beaming at you from behind Missy’s head. That seemed to be what she needed to hear, as a smile started to form.

“What do we always say to you?”, you asked, still stroking her hair. “You are kind. You are smart. You are important. You are loved”. she said, smiling at the mantra you had recited to her since she was old enough to talk. “That’s right baby bear”, added Marcus, pulling the both of you into his arms, “and that hasn’t changed. Never has, never will.” he said, giving each of you a kiss on the forehead.

[r-gii]

Hummingbird and Ostrich Egg and Vice-Versa and No Fun to It

"An egg! I can't be about to lay an egg!" Mary fretted in her hummingbird way as she came out of the nurse's office." Eggs are supposed to be painful, and ouchy... and I can't do it."

Some other of the birds looked at her fretting and rolled their eyes in annoyance before going back to their business.

As Mary fluttered home, she wasn't sure what she'd say about the mess, it sure was embarrassing. Perhaps she'd keep it quiet, nobody had to know anyway.

But oh, the idea of the pain was too much to bear.

And what was worse, according to 7% on a WatchData community poll that Mary saw on YouTube the other day, hummingbirds supposedly lay the world's largest bird egg! That meant even BIGGER than a ostrich egg, which was... well, way bigger than a hummingbird she figured.

Oh, she couldn't go through with this. She had to stop this.

So she sidetracked to go visit this witchy crow she'd read about in some nurse's office magazine ad. Why so many crows were witches, she did not know.

"What can I do you for missy," the crow asked when she arrived.

Mary took a breath, it was time for her to say what was on her mind. "I'm about to lay an egg, and I'm not feeling very good about it..." She hesitated. "I don't want to lay an egg the size of an ostrich's!" She blurted out finally.

"Size of an ostrich's..." murmured the witch, scratching her beak thoughtfully, "let's see what we got here."

The crow rustled through her ingredients and after a few moments, had an elixir prepared. She taloned it to Mary. "Here, this should solve your problems."

"Thank you," said Mary, dipping her beak in and sipping in the sweet liquid, "I can't thank you enough."

"There," said the witch, "when it's time for you to lay, you will lay an ostrich egg."

Mary stopped drinking, her body going extremely still, "What?" But it was too late, there were only a few drops left in the elixir bottle, there was no taking it back.

"Oh, it's something to do with vortexes and the folding of spacetime, all that jibber-jabber," the witchy explained, "You'll still carry the egg that's inside you, but when it comes time to lay, the both of you, you and some ostrich, your eggs will come out through the other."

"WHAT!?" Mary shrieked.

"You said you wanted to lay an egg the size of an ostrich's," the crow replied.

"Why would I say that!" Mary cried, "I said I didn't want to lay an egg the size of an ostrich's!"

The crow shrugged, "Thought you were perhaps some wild masochist or something. Can't expect these old ears to hear everything. Besides, why would you say that? Hummingbird eggs are fairly small, you had nothing to worry about."

"There was this post on WatchData..." She wasn't making any sense, "You have to fix this!" She finally blurted.

"I can't fix this, all my elixirs are 100% guaranteed, they don't wear off until their purpose is complete."

"Oh dear, oh dear," Mary muttered, "I don't want to lay an ostrich egg."

"None of us do," said the crow, patting her on the back, "But don't worry, my elixirs also have a 0% mortality rate, you'll be fine, here, I'll give you a refund for your troubles."

But the money did very little to comfort Mary. As she fluttered her way home, only two words twittered from her mouth, again and again, "Oh dear, oh dear," she muttered, "oh dear, oh dear."

Somewhere in Africa, some ostrich named Barb was preparing to lay her egg. She had found herself a comfy spot by the stream in a communal nest, but she was still anxious. Egg laying was no picnic, she'd heard.

"Are you okay?" Her friend asked her.

"Yes," she said, "Just a little anxious, that's all."

"You'll be fine," a friend told her.

"Yeah, it'll be fine," another friend said.

"We're right here with you," said her husband.

Barb was glad to have such a great support group.

It hadn't been long since she'd met her husband, and she was still quite a young bird, she had never laid an egg before, and she didn't know if she was ready, but with her two closest friends by her side and her husband, it made her feel a lot better.

But then her stomach tightened, she felt a contraction coming, she cried out, pain flared through her.

"Oh no, I can't take this, I can't take this- OWWWWW!" She screamed as labor began full force. It was too painful to process, it was unbelievable.

If only she knew that the pain she was feeling was being brought on by an egg no bigger than a hummingbird's egg. If it hurt this bad to lay a hummingbird egg, she had no idea what laying an ostrich egg must've felt like. She could've never have imagined that halfway across the world, a hummingbird would be laying hers.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Mary screamed, in pure absolute mortal agony. There was no way this could be right. The size of an ostrich egg compared to an itty-bitty hummingbird like her was NOT RIGHT!

There was no way any hummingbird could take this, and because we cannot even begin to imagine what Mary must possibly be going through, we return to Barb for now, who found herself sweating and tearing over the most painful experience she had ever faced in her life, and we'll just accept that Mary's experience was a billion times worse.

"I can't do this!" Barb cried, "I can't...!"

"You're alright, you're alright," her husband soothed.

"I can't," Barb panted, gritting her teeth in pain, tears leaking down from her eyes, "Oh, please, oh please-"

Then another contraction hit...

Mary gave a bloodcurdling scream. This brought her neighbors to attention.

A moment later, there was a knock at her door. "Mary? Are you alright?"

Oh, it was the hot hummingbird guy who lived in the next hollow over, why did he have to be the one to check on her?

"Leave me alone!" She cried. This was definitely not a good day.

But then Barb had another contraction and Mary screamed bloodcurdlingly again. Her neighbor instantly burst through the door, eyes filled with concern.

"What's happening?" He gasped.

"I'm laying an ostrich egg!" Mary cried.

Now to describe what it must look like to see a hummingbird laying an ostrich egg is something that cannot be comprehended, and perhaps it is better to leave it to the imagination, but here it was clearly happening, and for Mary, it was no fun. Explosive pain of an egg totally double her size trying to force its way into the world, there simply weren't enough nerves in her poor little body to process this pain, but yet she felt it anyway. None of her life had she EVER waned to be in this kind of pain, yet here she was.

Then Mary had another contraction...

Barb cried out sharply. She may only be laying a hummingbird egg, but never underestimate how painful a hummingbird sized labor can be.

"You can do this," said her first friend.

Barb just shook her head, "No I can't, no I can't." She was so ashamed, ostrich's everywhere laid eggs all the time, and here she was crying like a baby over it.

"Don't be ashamed" her second friend said, "I remember when I had my first egg..."

But Barb couldn't help but be ashamed, she should know better, she should know better than to whimper over such a normal experience like this, but here she was acting like a fool like no other bird had ever laid an egg before. She folded her head into her body in shame, and tried to keep it there.

But then the next contraction hit.

Mary's neighbor threw his wings over his ears to avoid being deafened by Mary's scream, Mary must be in a LOT of pain.

"Do you need to be here?" Mary asked when her screams quieted.

"Well, I certainly can help." The neighbor said, "What do you need?"

Oh, Mary blushed, why did her handsome neighbor have to see her like this. If only she could focus her attention on how hot he was and not on how much pain she was going through, but when you lay an ostrich egg, there is no concentrating on hot neighbors from next door, there was only lots of screaming as you feel yourself stretching in unimaginable ways that no birdy should ever go through. But she couldn't answer, too much pain. How could she be feeling this?

Then-

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Mary screamed.

How pitiful, she thought as tears of exhaustion fell from her eyes, no hummingbird has ever been so embarrassed.

But then Barb had the worst contraction yet, pure unfathomable, nothing any bird could image.

Mary couldn't take it, her chirpy scream radiated through the air. Her poor chirpy self. Totally not fun times.

Another contraction from Barb.

Mary's brain literally exploded for awhile.

Moments later, Barb stood folded over, looking at her egg, laying at her feet, very, very exhausted.

"What's this?" She asked, feeling the egg with her talons.

"It looks like an egg," observed her friend.

"But it's practically nothing," Barb said, "This cannot be mine."

Barb and her friends looked at one another, each as confused as the next.

Mary looked at her neighbor, feeling extremely red.

But her neighbor was just staring in shock behind her.

"What?" She said, "Girls lay eggs, don't you know that?"

Oof, that truth was embarrassing to admit to a cute guy.

"B-b-but..." He stammered, "That big?"

She looked behind her, "Oof! You're right," She said, fluttering around to inspect the egg, "It's huge!" She had know idea how she could've laid this.

And it was then she noticed another problem: Here she had a huge ostrich egg from halfway across the world with no way to get it back to it's family.

Well this day couldn't have went worse.

Until it was revealed that Barb was having twins.

Mary whimpered.

[works-of-magic]

What made you decide to work with Misdreavus and what is your favorite thing about them?

-@waffledragon10

Thanks so much for the ask! This is the hardest ask I've ever answered, because it's hard to pick just one thing that's my favorite!

After thinking about this for a couple hours, I think maybe it's how rewarding they are. They make me work for their trust, and I really have to work to establish boundaries with them! But once you bond with these guys, they're so loyal and fun and they love spending time with you. They can be pretty powerful if you train them right, but you have to know how to do it. Spending all that time working with them means I get to know them, and it makes it easier to trust each other. Making them healthy and happy makes ME happy!

It's a whole lot of things that made me decide to raise Misdreavus, so I'll give the short version first: I always loved ghosts. When I first heard and then saw a Misdreavus on my brother's video game, I thought they were the cutest thing ever. I researched a ton, and the more I learned, the more I liked them! I liked their moves, their personalities, their contest appeals, their vibes. And then I met Missie and Mistress, and my fate was sealed.

So I mentioned that I've always loved ghost types, right? There's something about the mischief and fun and playfulness in a ghost that makes me happy, and there's something about the spooky and mystical and otherwordly side of them that makes me feel at peace. They fascinated me from a very young age! I'd never met one in person, but I always looked forward to the day I would.

I first encountered a real ghost pokemon when exploring The Lost Tower in Solaceon Town with Ninetales! They were mostly shy and curious, and I didn't have time to get to know them, but one of them was a Gastly making faces at me and I caught its reflection, made some faces back, and we had a good laugh.

As for Misdreavus specifically, I didn't know that's the kind of ghost I wanted to train until I heard what is to this day the cutest thing I've ever heard: A Misdreavus cry! My younger brother was playing a video game, one of those battle simulator sort of things. I'd never seen a Misdreavus before, but even the animated one looked adorable, and being the curious nerd I am, I asked him what kind of Pokemon it is and then launched right into research.

I fell in love with everything I learned! They use fear as nutrition, that's so interesting! They're pure ghost types, I loved that thought! They have a unique move pool; I was ENAMORED with the strategy they call "Perish Trapping" for MONTHS! They like scaring people!

(Okay, I know it can come across as "mean" to some people, but I think it's a little funny when people scream. When I was 13, I was a little "mean" myself. Now I wait to laugh until after I know they're okay, but my favorite part of going to a haunted house is still seeing my friends getting frightened.)

And then I found out they evolve into Mismagius, and you have to understand that as a witch myself, finding a Pokemon that can cast "spells" on people was so exciting! (I don't know if you believe in magic or whatever, but I sure do!) And the fact that they're "known" for causing trouble intrigued me. There has to be more to the story, I figured. I wanted to know what that was!

I set out on my journey a little older than most kids, I was 14 when I finally left home. But I knew what I wanted more clearly than any other kid: I wanted to meet a Misdreavus and get to know them! I wanted to learn everything I could about them! I was all curiosity and enthusiasm and investigative spirit.

And like... We don't know a whole lot about how ghost pokemon WORK. I wanted to help people understand them! And I wanted to figure out why people seemed to dislike them so much. I knew enough about the world to know that a lot of people will scorn something just for being different, or misunderstood. And I wanted to figure out how to teach people not to hate the things they don't understand, but that's a bit tangential. Still a work in progress, really...

But, see, at first I thought training a Misdreavus was all I wanted, and to meet a Mismagius and maybe learn a magic trick from them. And when I first met my first Misdreavus and Mismagius, that's Missie and Mistress, I was ENAMORED. Probably helped in the beginning that Missie was already acclimated to humans, and she and Mistress were already friends.

It's a really, really REALLY long and meandering story to tell how I figured out that I wanted to work with Misdreavus for a living, that took like 7 years and a lot of trial and error! But basically the first Misdreavus I hatched made me realize that the cutest ghost could be even CUTER when they're babies, and I loved watching Mistress take care of her "kids". Watching them grow and helping them learn and making sure they had everything they need was really fulfilling. I had a few years where I thought I was going to become a research assistant or something, but I realized I was happiest taking care of my own and raising them myself, and having a "home" for them.

Basically, I decided I wanted to settle down and pour my whole heart into a passion project, and that's why the breeding center is here today! I'm still doing a LITTLE studying. ;P But mostly I'm doing what I love for the creatures I love most.

And also, people take you more seriously when you give a panel on Why You Shouldn't Hate The Ghosts That Scare You In the Middle of the Night if you're actively working with them.... 8P Because I still very much want to dispel myths and hatred around these guys as best I can. But working with them myself has given me a lot of insight on how to help OTHERS work with them, if they want to!

Whew! Okay, that got REALLY long, but it took most of my life to figure it out, so I hope you'll forgive my excited ramblings. Thanks again for stopping by, and I hope you have a nice night!

[overlydramaticinephile]

Head over heels in love.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader (no physical descriptions) 

Summary: Steve goes with Y/N to an admissions college party and things don´t go exactly as they expected. (Yep, keeping it vague bc i suck at summarys)

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: Based in the beginning of season 3. Arguments, fluff, and a tiny bit of angst. Steve is one year older than reader. Some curse words. (English is NOT my first language)

A/N: Hi! Tbh I thought I would only write one fic but I got super motivated to do like a whole different scenes from Dawson´s Creek and incorporate it to Stranger Things somehow…so yeah- hope you guys enjoy! <3 thank you so much for reading my other fic too!

------------------------------------------

Steve found himself outside of Hawkins High waiting for his girlfriend to come out so they could hang out, it's been a while since they had their fun, you know, with Y/N worrying about her college applications and Steve working full time at the new mall.

When Y/N didn't show he decided to go inside what could be described by many as the hell hole. Steve was a little nervous, but he had to do something, so, he walked in and started looking for the Y/H/C girl. After what seemed like an eternity of looking and asking around, he saw her going down the stairs by herself and he thought it would be the perfect time to surprise her.

“Steve! what are you doing here?”

Steve moved very quietly to where Y/N was now standing and picked her up from behind causing her to yelp for a moment until she realized what was happening. They both started to giggle in a way that would make lots of people throw up. It was way too adorable.

“Well, Missy, you took a while and I decided to come to look for you”

“Right…sorry, I was looking at the last details for the party on Saturday night.”

Oh, yeah, Steve remembers 'the party'. “Do we have to?” he whined.

“Yes, Steve, we have to,” said Y/N for what felt like the tenth time.

“Well, have you thought about hiring an escort? Because from what I'm told you can't take me anywhere.”

“I called around, but they're all out of socially-presentable man-meat.”

“What if I just broke up with you? What would you do then?”

“Look, do what you have to do. You're still coming with me.”

“Fascist.” Steve sighed.

“Scaredy-cat,” said Y/N with a dramatic shocked voice.

“Are we at least gonna have a good time?” he said hopefully but deep down he knew it wasn't very likely.

“My guess is no.” Why sugarcoat it?

“So why can't we just say “Nay” to the whole idea of hanging out with the prep school contingent, and go over to Dustin's party?”

"Because, Steve, that would severely diminish my chances of getting into college," she said a matter of factly.

"Well, when you put it that way--"

"Stevie?" she started doing that pouty face that melted Steve's heart. Every. Time.

"Yes." he looked down, it was hard to look at that face and stay in check with your initial argument.

"You know how important this party is to me."

"Yes, I know," he said in a whisper-like voice.

"And being in a relationship means that sometimes you have to do things that you don't particularly enjoy for that other person."

"Yeah."

That made Steve finally look up. "Oh, hold on. Do you think that I enjoy those dinners for one second? For the record, we could stop those at any time." his voice becoming more excited.

Y/N decided to continue to prove her point. "You know, for me, that would be Sunday dinners with your parents."

Steve chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I really am. Is it working?"

Y/N could read his intentions. At the end of the day, she knew him better than anyone. "I know you're still trying to get out of this party."

"It's like watching a train wreck." She deadpanned and gave him a kiss on the cheek with a grin on her face.

Later that week

The couple started walking with arms linked to each other. Y/N was wearing a simple black dress that cut at the knee with some sensible black heels. Steve, on the other hand, was wearing a suit, which Y/N haven't seen him in since his graduation day. Let's be real, he looked extremely handsome, with his perfect hair and that smile that could cure disease.

"You know, we can always just turn around. Which would, of course, be incredibly cowardly."

Walking through the stairs you could tell Y/N was nervous by how she kept furrowing her face making her look worried. Steve like always, noticed that.

Y/N breathed out. "Yet sounds incredibly appealing." she let out a nervous laugh.

By this point Steve couldn't take his eyes off her, he felt truly lucky to be able to call her his. Lost in thought he couldn't help but smile.

Y/N looked at Steve with confusion in her eyes, yet his face also made her smile. "You're grinning like an idiot."

"Yeah, I know. I can't help it," he said with such a gentle voice.

"Why?" She was beginning to get nervous. What could he possibly be smiling about right now?

"Because…I'm the only guy at this party who gets to walk in with Audrey Hepburn on his arm." Yep. Steve in love was a total sap. No one can convince us otherwise.

-------------------------------------

"You've certainly been quiet tonight, Miss Y/L/N."

Steve and Y/N sat at the table with Walter, the head figure of admissions. Making Y/N even more nervous if that's even possible.

Y/N chuckled awkwardly. "Just soaking it all in, I guess."

"Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?"

Damn, could this get any worse? "Um...there's really not much to tell. I'm pretty much your average teenage girl," she said with a tender smile that she hoped would hide all her insecurities right now.

By now Y/N was hoping for a miracle that would make things less awkward.

"Having reviewed your application, I hardly think so. I seem to remember a certain fondness for art. Have you been to the Guggenheim?"

"No, but I have always wanted to go to New York..."

"Well, the building itself…It's really the most amazing feat of construction. It's an extraordinary combination of intersecting shapes. It's an architectural epiphany."

Steve could tell how uncomfortable Y/N was, she had this embarrassed look on her face so he thought it wouldn't hurt if he cut in on the conversation.

"Nah, I don't know. You ask me, the thing just looks like a big artichoke."

Y/N turned to him in total shock and so did the other guests. Silence overcame the table until of course Steve kept talking.

"No, I'm serious, it does."

Walter looked intrigued by his comment. "Oh, so you've been?" you could tell it was a genuine question with genuine interest.

"Well, no, but my parents, their big architecture buffs, and they're into those coffee table art books. So, I've seen all the pictures, and I'm here to tell you, it looks like a big artichoke."

After what felt like the most awkward tension they had ever lived, Walter started to laugh, making everyone laugh with him like some type of clockwork.

"Big artichoke. You're right. It does look like an artichoke." he seemed to not be able to control his laughter. Y/N smiled confused and gave a little laugh at the scene.

----------------------------------

"So, then the Rabbi says, “Rectum? I damn near killed 'em!”

Y/N seemed to not be able to make a profound conversation like she hoped to make the best impression. She just sat there contemplating what she could do to make this better while Steve here was making Walter have a great time with his funny little comments. Y/N knew Steve had always been a social butterfly, he used to be “King Steve” for a reason. But she certainly wasn't expecting him to enjoy this so much after the crap he gave her earlier this week about the event.

Walter kept laughing the entire time. "Good one, right?" said Steve with that smile.

He was nearly choking by how much he was laughing at this point. While Y/N just could help but be a little jealous of Steve's social skills.

"It's very good. Y/N, I had no idea your boyfriend was such a charmer."

She gave a fake smile that only Steve could read. "Who knew?"

Walter got serious for a moment. "Emerson could use a young man like you, Steve. Why haven't you applied?" Well, this got interesting.

Y/N saw this as an opportunity to get some time in the conversation. "Yeah, Steve, why haven't you? She knew the answer, he didn't get into any college yet and his parents were trying to teach him a lesson by making him work his ass off.

Steve got quiet for a moment trying to think of an answer. "Well, I-- To be perfectly honest, uh, both of my parents are real big lefties, so for me, it's Yale or nothing."

"Well, that certainly is our loss." Walter seemed genuinely sad at that answer.

Y/N had enough by now, she didn't understand what the hell was happening right now.

"Hey, Steve, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah sure." he seemed very calm.

"Outside. Excuse us." she faked a smile again.

--------------

Y/N started to walk as fast as she could, and she looked pissed.

"Steve, I can't believe you just did that."

"Just did what?" he didn't see any problem.

"You lied!" she got more and more desperate by the second.

That's when Steve started to understand where she was going with this.

"Hold on a second--"

"After that whole pseudo-motivational diatribe, you flat out lied."

"Y/N/N, can I have the floor for just a second--" he really wanted to explain what was going on inside.

"Why are you trying so hard to impress these people?"

"Are you done yet?" he deadpanned.

She seemed to not be able to stop saying all her thoughts making it impossible for Steve to explain himself.

"I don't even know who you are right now." she sighed.

"All I'm try-"

"Excuse me, Steve. Excuse me. I would love for you to meet the dean. Do you mind, Y/N?" Walter seemed very excited.

And of course, with their luck, they were interrupted. By Walter of all people.

What was Y/N supposed to even say to that? "Course not." she fake smiled for the third time that night.

"Sure," said Steve, looking at Y/N with an unreadable expression while he turned the other way.

Walter started to chuckle. "He's a great guy. An old friend. I'd love for him to hear the, uh…"

"Two Rabbis."

"Yeah." He laughed.

--------------------------------------

Y/N sat at one of the benches outside and couldn't help but cry. What happened tonight? It clearly didn't go as she wanted, and sadness took over her while she sobbed. She didn't even notice Walter coming back outside.

"Hi, Y/N," he said with an understanding tone.

Shit. Y/N thought. She wiped her tears and acted like he didn't see her crying her eyes out just a second ago. "Uh, hi, Mr. Kubelik, um…I'm sorry, I…I think I need to apologize."

He was confused but calmed. "Really? Whatever for?"

Y/N sighed. "Well, I think I blew it tonight. And it's just, um, this is kind of a whole new world for me, and I, um, I don't really know what to do or what to say, and I know that I don't fit in very well--"

"Y/N, you didn't blow anything. Your academic record stands on its own. You're a stunningly bright young lady. No one is grading you on your social skills.

She looked a little more relieved. Like she could breathe again.

"Be that as it may, you couldn't ask for a better character witness than that boyfriend of yours."

Y/N looked up into his eyes confused and wanting him to elaborate on his last comment.

"Seriously. He just talked the dean's ear off, all about you. How you've changed him, how you've helped him. How he couldn't imagine a better life than one with you by his side. What a rare gift, to have someone say such things about you."

She couldn't help to smile a little and get all shy about it.

--------------------------------------

Finally, the party was over, and Y/N joined Steve after she said her goodbyes to some people at the event. Even though the last time they saw each other they didn't see eye to eye, the moment they looked at each other, they felt the need to be in each other's arms.

"Apology accepted," mumbled Steve.

Y/N removed her head from his shoulder. "I didn't apologize, Stevie," she said while furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"Well, no, but you were going to."

Y/N gave him a smug smile. "I was?"

"Yeah, you were going to apologize for bitching me out earlier." he was being pretty forward about the whole situation, you had to give him that.

Y/N started to match his energy. "And what about you? You're the one who lied."

Of course. Steve looked deep into her eyes so she could see his honesty. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I was doing that all for you?"

Y/N's eyebrows shoot up. "And how, exactly, do I benefit from your distortion of the truth?"

"Well," he started to stroke her hair very delicately and continued with all he wanted to say earlier.

"Maybe I just wanted these people to see you through my eyes just for one night. To see this girl, this woman, who has more class and intelligence and beauty and grace than anyone else who's walking the face of the planet."

Y/N's eyes started to water; she opened her mouth to say something, but she shut it again when he kept going.

"And maybe things like this just come tumbling out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the really scary thing is--is…I think that they're true."

Y/N's heart melted but at the same time, she started to feel guilt and embarrassment because of her reaction earlier.

"Sorry, Steve. I just wanted to impress these people so bad, you know, to fit in, and I completely froze."

Steve cupped her face and with the softest voice, one could ever imagine he said. "Hey, that doesn't matter."

She took a step back from his embrace. Anxiety took over her. "Yes, it does! I've never wanted anything so bad in my whole life. And you--you just fit right in better than I ever will."

So that's what this was about. "Because there's nothing at stake for me here, Y/N/N. I have nothing to prove to these people. And Y/N/N, this world, is opening its doors to you. And when you step through, you are going to be such an amazing part of all of this.  And wherever you choose to go, you're doing them the favor, not the other way around.

"You know, your mom should get a medal."

Jeez. Y/N truly was tearing up with a small smile. She would never get used to Steve's love words. It made her heart do flip-flops, to say the least.

Well, Steve wasn't expecting that, but he went along with it. "Mom? Really, why's that?"

"Because she raised the perfect boy. And maybe things like that just tumble out of my mouth because I happen to be head over heels in love with you, but the scary thing is, I think it's true," she said with the biggest smile.

Steve pulled away for a second, staying very close to her."Mmm. What do you say if you and I take our little mutual admiration society on the road? Please, can we go someplace we both fit in?"

They couldn't help but chuckle at each other's words making them have the most passionate yet tender kiss that day.

"Yeah. Let's go."

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED <3

[helaintoloki]

Meet the Family

pairing: Pietro Peter Maximoff x fem!reader

warnings: angst, manipulation, reader is a Westview hostage controlled by Wanda, etc., 2.5k in length

notes: writing a piece that takes place in the WandaVision universe was such a challenging and fun experience, and I really tried to capture the same dark undertones of the show so I hope you enjoy!

summary: An innocent family dinner with Pietro’s new girlfriend reveals that life in Westview is not what it seems. Uncle Pietro introduces y/n to the family!

Y/n almost feels like she’s being watched as the warm hand of her boyfriend— since when do I have a boyfriend?— carefully guides her trembling figure up the front steps of his sister’s house and rings the doorbell. Her grip on the glass dish of brownies in her hands is so impossibly tight she fears she might just break it, and when the silver haired man swoops down to steal a kiss from her cherry gloss stained lips she can’t help but to feel nauseated. The sickness morphs into guilt immediately, and when he looks down upon her with a gaze so tender and fond she forces herself to bat her eyes and smile at him. What kind of girlfriend is horrible enough to be disgusted by a kiss from her own boyfriend? Something isn’t right here...

“Don’t even sweat it, babe, my little sis is going to love you!” Pietro comforts with an easygoing grin plastered on his features.

“I hope so,” y/n murmurs quietly, nervously chewing at her bottom lip. This is the audition, her one shot at impressing the boss, and if even one tiny minuscule detail is thrown out of place then there goes her new house and fancy wardrobe and y/n is written out of the show. Permanently.

“My girlfriend is such a worrywart,” he laughs fondly with a gentle pinch of her cheek. It’s as if a switch is flipped inside of her, and this time when she smiles at him it is genuine and full of unadulterated love.

“I just want everything to be perfect, I know how much this means to you,” she replies earnestly, too dazed to notice the soft aww that drifts through the air from the audience. Pietro smiles.

“Man, did I luck out on finding the most perfect girl in the world or what?”

“Well us being together certainly isn’t a coincidence,” she notes with a small smile. The uneasiness begins to wash over her again, but y/n isn’t given a chance to dwell on the feeling as the front door swings open and a vibrant looking young woman stands in the doorway, almost beaming at the two with pure glee.

“Thank goodness you made it!” She exclaims, hand delicately resting on her chest to showcase her relief before she pulls the stranger her brother into a hug.

“Like we’d really miss Sunday dinner,” Pietro jokes before pressing a chaste kiss to his sister’s cheek. His hand returns to the small of y/n’s back and the fond smile pulls at his lips again. “Wanda, I’d like to introduce you to a very special little lady, my girlfriend y/n.”

“Oh, she’s very special indeed,” Wanda notes with an overzealous wink, ignoring the way in which the brownie dish begins to tremble in the poor girl’s hands. Just a little stage fright, that’s all. “It’s very nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Wanda.”

“It’s an honor to meet you,” the girl replies earnestly, “Pietro has told me so much about you.”

“Well aren’t you sweet! Please, come in,” Wanda grins, ushering the two inside before shutting the door. “Boys, Uncle Pietro is here!”

“What a lovely place you have,” y/n compliments. Her eyes scan the perfectly decorated home in wonder, awe, and a third thing she can’t quite place for if she dwells on it for too long her head begins to ache and her surroundings begin to grow fuzzy.

“Oh, please, it’s just a little something I threw together,” she jokes, canned laughter echoing distantly in the background of y/n’s mind.

“Uncle Pietro!” Two voices exclaim, and y/n watches curiously as her boyfriend lets out an ecstatic laugh before rushing forward to scoop the twin boys in his arms.

“If it isn’t my favorite little trouble makers!” He grins, making sure to ruffle both heads of hair. “Billy, Tommy, say hi to your aunt y/n.”

“Hi, aunt y/n,” Billy greets politely. Tommy is at her side in an instant, movements so quick y/n can’t help but to let out a startled yelp as he lunges for the dish in her hands.

“Are those brownies?!”

“Tommy, where are your manners?” Wanda chides gently, shaking her head with a laugh and reaching for the pastries. “Boys will be boys. I’ll take these off your hands.”

“Oh, uh, yes, thank you...” y/n murmurs softly, brows stitched together in discomfort.

“You’ll have to excuse my husband’s absence, another late night at the office. You know how it is, don’t you?”

“I can’t say I do.”

“Hmm... Well, make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready soon, I’ll just go put these in the kitchen.”

“Oh, do you need any h-“

“No,” Wanda blurts out abruptly, startling everyone in the room. She plasters on a smile, “No thank you. How can I be a good hostess if my guest is doing all the work for me?”

“You’re right, I’m so sorry,” y/n flounders, panic clear amongst her features. “I-I didn’t mean to impose at all.”

“No apologies,” the woman murmurs quietly, a small smile on her lips and an admonitory glimmer in her eyes, “we’re going to have a nice family dinner, and everything is going to be just perfect.”

The tension in the air is suffocating, wrapping itself in a slow growing hold around y/n’s neck. Her eyes begin to water, bottom lip quivering in fear as she looks around the room that suddenly feels too big and too bright. She doesn’t belong here with these people, something is wrong, the man she came here with is not hers, and as Wanda’s figure retreats behind the kitchen door y/n makes a mad dash towards the nearest exit.

“Whoa!” Pietro exclaims with an uneasy laugh, and in a blue flash she suddenly finds herself being scooped up off her feet and tossed back down on the couch in between the apprehensive twins faster than her fried brain can even comprehend. “Not so fast there, missy. Just where do you think you’re going?”

“I... I don’t feel right,” the young woman murmurs, wincing at the uncomfortable dryness of her throat as she swallows. “I want to go home and lie down.”

“Don’t be like that, babe,” he chides with a disappointed frown, “this is my family.”

“But what about my family?” Y/n whispers, tears welling in her eyes as she realizes that whenever she attempts to picture the life she once lived not a single thing comes to mind. “I don’t have a family.”

“This is your family now. We talked about this, remember? We came to Westview to make Wanda happy, and you don’t want to upset her, do you?”

“No,” she replies meekly, shuddering when the calloused pad of his thumb swipes across her warm cheek to remove any evidence of tears. No, I don’t want to make her unhappy, because if I do then I’m written off the show and I don’t know what will happen to me if I am. “I want to spend time with my new family.”

“Atta girl,” Pietro grins as he cups her face with both hands and brings her in for a kiss.

“Yuck!” Tommy exclaims in disgust from beside the couple, and this time y/n can’t help the bubbly laughter that escapes her at the young boy’s antics. Any memory of her previous meltdown is quickly wiped from her mind, and all she can think of now is how utterly grateful she is to be loved by such a wonderful man and be taken in by his wonderful family.

She pulls Pietro in for another kiss and giggles uncontrollably when he responds by tickling her sides, all while Wanda watches carefully from behind the scenes.

~~~

“Dream of better lives, the kind which never hate. Trapped in a state of imaginary grace.”

Her voice is quiet and serene as she hums along to the Modern English song playing on the radio, a content smile on her face as she washes the dishes leftover from dinner. It was the least she could do after the lovely evening Wanda had hosted; her sister-in-law had been called upon by the neighbor Agnes for a task that hadn’t quite been specified, so y/n was happy to tidy up while her boyfriend spent quality time with the boys. She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt as happy and content as she did now— she couldn’t remember anything, really— and y/n knew then and there that moving to Westview with Pietro had been the right decision for the family, for his sister and themselves, and for the children, too. Yes, everything was just peachy keen.

The kitchen door swings open and in walks a man y/n has never seen before. He looks just as surprised as she is when their eyes meet, an awkward smile on his red face and the morning paper in his hands, and y/n slowly drops the dish she had been washing back into the sink.

“Hello,” the man greets curtly, “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting before.”

“I’m afraid not,” y/n agrees with a bashful smile, quickly removing her rubber gloves so that she may extend her hand towards him for a shake, “I’m y/n, Pietro’s girlfriend.”

“Ah, yes...” he murmurs lowly, cautiously shaking her hand and sizing the woman up and down until she shrinks under his gaze. He means her no harm, but he isn’t sure whether or not she’s part of this cooky little play or just another victim cast under Wanda’s spell. He smiles suddenly, the gesture startling the girl. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Vision.”

“Oh, yes! Of course. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“May I ask where my wife is?” Vision asks.

“She went off to the neighbor’s,” y/n explains before promptly returning to her dish washing. The radio sounds distant and warbled now, the song she had been singing along to now nothing but static and jumbled up syllables, but to Vision’s dismay she doesn’t seem to notice in the slightest.

“How are you enjoying Westview?”

“I’m having the best time. Pietro and I have been talking and we might just have to hunker down in our own little place,” she says with a giggle. “It would be nice to be closer to you all.”

“I must say, having you and Pietro here was quite the surprise.”

“Not a bad one I hope,” she frowns. Vision guiltily refuses to meet her gaze.

“No, not at all. But, might I ask how you two came to be?” Vision asks apprehensively, adding on so that she doesn’t feel cornered, “I’m sure it must be a lovely story.”

“Oh, yes! I remember it like it was yesterday,” y/n swoons dreamily, a fond smile plastered on her face and her gaze casted out towards the living room where Pietro sits playing video games with the boys. She blinks once, twice, eyes never once leaving the silver haired stranger in the couch. A pregnant pause hovers over the two, the porcelain plate trembles in her hands, and Vision watches in silent horror as her eyes begin to well with tears.

“Y/n?” He calls gently, fingertips carefully brushing against her elbow in an attempt to bring her focus back to him. He removes the plate from her iron grip and sets it back carefully in the sink before turning the girl by the shoulders to face him; she still wears that same adoring smile despite the tears that silently fall down her cheeks.

“Forgive me,” she murmurs quietly, “I can’t seem to gather my thoughts properly.”

“Who did this to you? Was it Wanda? Pietro?” Vision press urgently. Y/n sways slightly when he shakes her by the shoulders in a desperate attempt to break her from her trance but still her smile remains.

“Pietro? Oh, he loves me, and I love him.”

“My dear, I don’t think you do,” the man utters sympathetically.

“Of course I do, silly. We were made for each other.”

“Perhaps you were, but not in the way you think. Y/n-“

“Please let go,” she interrupts in a soft, steady voice, looking up at him like a scorned child, “you’re scaring me.”

“If you would just let me,” Vision begins to say, fingertips reaching for her temple in preparation to break her from the spell only to be interrupted by another presence in the room.

“Whoa, what’s going on in here?” Pietro asks with a raised brow and uneasy laugh. “Hey toaster oven, you mind maybe letting go of my girlfriend?”

“Of course, my apologies,” Vision murmurs, stepping away from the girl and allowing her to run into the arms of her boyfriend.

“You okay, babe?” He asks with a raised brow. She isn’t, not in the slightest, but she has a job to do and a role to play, so she merely bats her eyes at him before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Never been better. Hey, how does dessert sound?”

“I think that sounds lovely,” Wanda chimes, her sudden appearance in the kitchen doorway startling the already present trio. Vision looks like a deer caught in headlights when Wanda saunters over and gifts him with an innocent kiss to the cheek. “Why don’t you and Pietro get the boys settled down while y/n and I prepare the dessert?”

“What a lovely idea, darling,” Vision chimes with an easy smile— y/n isn’t the only one with a role to play. “Come now, dear brother-in-law.”

“Take good care of my girl, little sis,” Pietro calls on his way out. Wanda smiles, her eyes never once leaving y/n’s trembling frame.

“But of course. What is family for? Y/n, be a dear and grab the plates, won’t you?”

“Yes, Wanda,” the girl chimes obediently. She smiles.

“I noticed you seemed a little shaken up just now, is everything alright?” Wanda asks, feigning obliviousness.

“Oh, you know, just some friendly questioning from my new brother-in-law. I’m sure he just wanted to make sure Pietro had found the right match,” she explains with a passive wave of her hand. Wanda hums softly.

“Well we don’t need to worry about that,” she notes. “You’re here for a reason, y/n. Do you know that?”

“For Pietro, and for you,” she replies earnestly, smiling when Wanda takes her hands in her own and gives them a gentle squeeze. “You’ve always wanted a big family, a real family, one that would never turn its back on you or leave you behind ever again. You want a sister and nieces and nephews and love, and I’m here because I can do all of that and more for you.”

“Exactly right. Family is forever, y/n. Are you ready for the commitment that comes with being a Maximoff?”

“I’ve never been more ready,” y/n responds eagerly. Wanda smiles.

“I’m so relieved you said that,” she utters gently, pulling y/n in for a hug so that she may not see the way in which her eyes begin to glow red and waves of energy begin to emit from her fingertips as she carefully settles herself fully into the girl’s mind. She fills her head with thoughts of Pietro and family, with memories she’s never lived and feelings she’s never had, she fills her with love, and y/n is none the wiser.

“Congratulations, y/n,” Wanda utters quietly, comfortingly stroking the girl’s hair, “you’re a Maximoff now.”

[marvelous-harry]

Could you maybe do one where the reader comes back late from a party and is drunk + high, and H + F are not happy?

"Hello? Is anyone home? I can't find my key," I whined as I rang the doorbell over and over again. The taxi had left and there was a scary moth flying around the outside light. "Please open the door," I shouted, ringing the doorbell several more times.

Just when I was about to accept that I was going to die out here, I heard the lock click and the door was opened.

"Flossie!" I grinned and threw my hands around her. "Oh, I missed you so much," I said as I pulled back and squeezed her face.

"Do you know what time it is?" Florence said tiredly and shut the door behind me.

I shook my head quickly. "No," I said as I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "I tried to tell the driver I wanted a kebab and if he knew anywhere but he didn't answer which I thought was quite rude," I mumbled as I grabbed a plate of leftover sausage and mash.

"She finally home then?" Harry asked as he joined us in the kitchen.

"Yes," Florence replied and took the plate out of my hand, going to reheat it.

"Harryy!" I squealed and grabbed onto him. "Hi!" I grinned.

"You missy were supposed to be home hours ago," Harry pointed out as he led me over to a kitchen chair and made me have a seat.

"Oh? Why?" I asked and looked over at Florence who was standing by the microwave.

"Cause that's what you said. And when you called us at midnight telling us you were coming home, we expected you to come home," Harry said cross as he made me look at him.

"But I did come home," I pointed out as I booped his nose with a giggle.

"Yeah, three hours later," he looked up as Florence came over with my mashed potatoes and sausage.

I clapped my hands excitedly and grabbed the knife and fork she handed over. "We had a few stops to make and then Mark, James's mate, said he was doing a little after-party so we dropped off James there but we had to make sure it was a good place so we came with him, and it was very fun," I explained before taking a big bite of mash.

Florence pulled up a chair next to Harry and stroked his back. "We're going to have a little chat tomorrow about keeping our word and staying in contact when our plans change," she told me as I took a bite out of the sausage.

"No thank you," I told her, taking another bite of the sausage.

Harry chuckled before doing a big yawn. "I'm assuming you had a good night out at least?" he asked.

"Mhm!" I hummed as I took the last of the mashed potatoes and swallowed it down. I looked around before leaning closer to them. "We went to a strip club," I whispered before giggling. "It was a lot of fun, they were so pretty," I mumbled as I wiped my mouth.

"Babe," Harry groaned and rubbed his face. "Did anyone take photos?" he asked.

"You're not allowed, it's very naughty," I told him, looking at him seriously.

"Okay, I think it's time for bed," Florence announced as she stood up.

"Do you guys want to know a secret?" I asked as I stood up, grabbing Harry's hand.

"Go on," Harry replied as he led me up the stairs.

"When I was watching this woman dance, I got wet cause I started thinking about you two. I thought about you two fucking me on her little stage with people watching," I giggled. "We got so much money in tips! We would make so much money as pornstars, we should look into that,"

"Baby! We're not becoming pornstars!" Florence chuckled.

I laid down on the bed and stretched out. "S' a shame. I'm very good at sex," I mumbled as I closed my eyes.

Harry put his hands on his hips when you promptly fell asleep.

Florence sighed. "Right, you get her undressed and under the sheets. I'll get a bucket and something to clean her face,"

[football-rambles]

School Nativity - Declan Rice

Day 22 of 25 days till Christmas

just a note, that this has now made me broody and want to write dad!dec 

It was the last week of the kids being at school before they broke up for Christmas, but it was a busy week, with a Christmas disco, a Nativity play that you had to make costumes for as well as finish wrapping the kids presents and your husbands presents, as well as supporting him.

You sat on the floor, your daughter stood in front of you, as you pinned the white material, so you could alter the outfit. “Okay, turn for me.” You asked your four-year-old. Eventually, she turned but only after several attempts.

Sticking the final pin, you heard Declan walk through the door. “Daddy!” Your daughter ran for Dec ruining your alterations as you groaned, picking yourself up off the floor.

“Hello!” He smiled, while holding your daughter and came to kiss you on the cheek. “How’s your day been?” He asked.

“Wonderful, I have wrapped and sent presents to Santa, I have made attempts at sorting out Missy's angel costume, your son is down for his nap and your wife is ready to join him.” You sighed as you tried to pull off the white sheet from your daughter.

“Wow busy day, me and this one can do something if you want to take a nap?” He asked concerned.

“No point, I need to finish off the costume for this play and then baby will be awake, but an early night is in very much order.” You speak.

“Yeah…about the play, I might have to meet you there…Gaffer has called an extra session.” Declan spoke.

“What?? Ugh we were supposed to go together. Please make it Dec…it’s her first play. I’ve got your mum looking after Y/S/N for the day.” You explained, frustrated.

“I know, but I won’t miss it I promise…I’m looking forward to seeing my real angel out there.” Declan smiled at your daughter smiling.

You sighed, as you placed your sewing kit to the side. You were annoyed that Dec had to work, you knew of all the demands, the away days. Two kids in tow was tough especially when your daughter was all Dec. You knew she would be upset if she didn’t see her dad in the crowd.

The next morning, you sat finishing off the Angel costume. Standing in the kitchen making a coffee when you felt two hands wrap around your waist.

“Good morning” You say, as you smile.

“Good morning, you should go back to bed for half an hour before Y/D/N wakes up ready for school and Y/S/N wakes.” Declan spoke.

You hummed at him and turned “Mhm I just finished the costume; I’ve got to prepare a bag to take to your mum's." You spoke.

“I’ll drop him at my mums on the way into training.” Declan spoke and shrugged.

“Thank you, that will free up some time.” You smiled.

“Of course, and I promise…I will be at the play.” Declan looked down at you as you nodded and hugged him.

“I know, it’s just annoying. I feel you miss the enjoyable parts, and when I do have you to myself you get pulled away again.” You pouted.

“I know, but at least after the game Wednesday I am free for a few days so we can do a lot more as a family. I can take the kids away while you wrap the presents.”

It's fun that I have to wrap the presents." You rolled your eyes at him. “Right, I’ll go, and missy moo up.” You walked off to get and wake your daughter ready for school.

You stood in the school playground waiting for Declan. You were really annoyed he hadn't arrived yet, it was cold, and you were starting to get annoyed that other parents would get a seat. Therefore, you decided to save two seats so Dec could join you.

You sat there, as the kids started to come into the hall, your heart fell into the pit of your stomach when you caught a glimpse of your daughter, who waved, but could tell was looking for Dec. You sighed and texted him asking where he was.

Five minutes passed, and several texts later, you decided that killing your husband was now number one on top of the to do list, that was ever growing.

The play was about to start, and he still wasn’t here. You sighed and sat back in the seat, putting on a face so that you didn’t want to upset your daughter.

‘Excuse me, yeah, sorry, thanks, cheers.’ You hear as Declan made his way through the row of parents and sat on the seat next to you. Catching his breath.

“Cutting it fine Declan” You spoke through gritted teeth.

“Sorry, I got caught in traffic, I got here in time. Where is she?” He asked kissing your cheek, looking around to spot your daughter who saw him and immediately waved.

You sighed contently, now that Declan was here, and she could now enjoy her daughters' play, knowing that Declan was here.

-- 

tagging: @superjackgrealish​ @footballerimaginess​ @callyhandra​

[jihyuncompass]

I saw your post about being low on inspo. This is a nsfw idea so I'm giving a heads up lol.

Sub Marius calling MC mistress/master in a needy voice to atone for his past teasings (cue missy) is a concept that drives me crazy from the day I downloaded the game.

Ohoho this idea. This idea. My god. 

An Eye for an Eye 

Marius x MC

Word Count: 3.2k 

NSFW. Only read if 18+. Details under the cut. 

Warnings/Tags: NSFW, Dom/Sub dynamics, mastrubation, blowjob, AFAB reader

-------------------------------------------------------

He could have seen this coming, he should have seen this coming. Marius’s eyes followed her as she approached him. She had that look in her eyes, the one that never failed to send his mind into overdrive. He tried not to let his excitement show, he didn’t want to spoil the fun. 

Shifting in his seat Marius leaned against the back of the plush chair. His heart rate was starting to pick up, anticipation building up in his body. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to keep it together. 

“Marius.” She said in a sweet and low tone. She leaned over him, lifting his chin up with her fingers. Forcing him to meet her darkening gaze, sending a thrill down his spine. Marius leaned forward a bit, trying to get closer to her.

“Yes missy?” He responded, voice matching her’s. He kept his focus on her. 

She got closer to him, heat radiating off of her body. “You know you’ve been quite the troublemaker today.” 

“Have I?” Marius said. 

She hummed and let the light grip on his hair tighten. Without thinking Marius moved closer to her. “You have. Your teasing has been particularly incessant today.” She explained to him. Marius let a small smirk slip by. 

“Aw, but missy.” Marius started. “Sometimes I can’t help myself.” He explained. 

His teasing today had been purposeful as usual. He enjoyed watching her get so flustered. Watching her face turn red and leave her huffing at him. Maybe it was silly and childish. Like a boy tugging on a girl’s pigtails because he likes her. There was just something about the attention that made him excited. 

There was of course another benefit to this behavior. A benefit he had a feeling he was going to see soon enough. 

“You can’t help yourself?” She brought his head closer to her. “You really have so little self control?” He smiled again and tried to reach for her hips, purposefully brushing his fingers against the hem of her top. 

“Maybe I don’t.” Marius said, trying to get closer to her. He stared into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts. He knew what he wanted from this, he searched in her eyes, hopefully she wanted the same thing too. 

He reached forward and kissed her, he lifted one hand to rest on her shoulder. She kissed him back. The hand in his hair moved down to cup his cheek. Being this close to her, getting to feel her lips against the warmth and closeness of her body. It was turning his mind to mush, all he could think of was her.

As she pulled away from the kiss she met his eyes again. He smiled at her, trying to pull her back in. Still she kept herself just a few inches away from his face.  

She straightened her back and stood up straight. Marius stared at her silently as she looked down at him, down to where he was already starting to strain against his pants. 

“What’s got you so excited Marius?” She teased. Redness bloomed across his cheeks, he averted his gaze. She gently grabbed her chin and turned it so he’d meet her eyes again. “Is there something you want?” 

Yes. He wanted to say, he wanted to beg her for what he wanted. Still he held himself together, holding onto his resolve. He leaned forward to get closer to her, resting his hands on her hips, trying to bring her closer. 

Her hand moved from his chin to cup his cheek. Her thumb brushed against the flush, quickly spreading across his face. “Use your words sweetheart.” She told him. 

“You know what I want.” He said. Making sure his tone got across exactly what was on his mind. She brushed her thumb across his cheek again, her smile sweet against her dark gaze. 

“Do you really think I’m going to reward you after all your teasing today?” She said. Marius got himself off of the chair and got down onto his knees in front of her, eyes looking up at her, wide and begging. 

“Please.” He started, letting his teasing and bratty facade slip away. Letting the vulnerable neediness show through in his face. “Please mistress.” The words slipped through his lips without much of a thought. Her eyes briefly widened in shock as she took a sharp breath. 

After another moment the shock disappeared from her face, being replaced with a teasing gaze that seemed almost eerily similar to his own. “I guess I could give you a little something.” She said, using one hand to push his hair away from his eyes. Lightly pulling on the strands as she did. Letting go of his hair she walked past him, taking a seat in the chair Marius had previously been sitting in. On his knees he turned to face her again. 

She made herself comfortable, eyes never leaving him. Resting her chin on her hand she gave him his first instruction. 

“Take your clothes off for me.” She told him. He nodded, quickly shedding his jacket and throwing it away from himself, he continued with his shirt, tossing it right next to his jacket. Leaving his chest completely bare for her. The way she was smiling at him gave him the encouragement he needed to reach down and unbuckle his belt, pushing the rest of his clothing down past his thighs and after some maneuvering off of his body. 

Completely exposed, she took him all in. The redness in his face that was quickly spreading down his neck, his once neat hair now wild from her hands in it. In his eyes she saw that needy intensity he always seemed to get during times like this. Her eyes trailed down his chest and abdomen, finally stopping to admire his fully erect cock. Already red with precum glistening at the tip. 

Letting a smile slip through she lifted her gaze back to his face. “Now, are you going to be good for me?” She asked him, raising her brow at him. Marius nodded, stopping when her gaze towards him turned sharper. 

“Yes.” He said. 

“Yes what?” 

Marius’s face burned but he looked into her eyes as he spoke again. “Yes mistress.” She didn’t fight the smile on her face. He looked so beautiful like this, she wished she had his painting skills so she could capture this moment. Instead she tried to take a mental image of him like this, trying to take in every detail. 

“Good boy.” She said. “Touch yourself for me, that way you like it.” 

Marius didn’t need to be told twice. He swiftly wrapped his fingers around his shaft, and started to stroke himself. Using his thumb to spread the accumulated precum down his shaft to make the motion. A shaky breath escaped his throat, his eyes closed as he focused on the feeling quickly spreading through his body. Even without looking at her he could feel her eyes on him, watching his every move and every heavy breath. 

With each jerk of his wrist another wave of pleasure went through his body. Steadily taking over his body and making his mind hazy. He couldn’t have even cared if he was being loud or if his knees ached from his position on the floor. All he could care about right now was how good it felt. 

His breaths were heavy with moans, the occasional whine escaping in between. That sound was like the sweetest music to her ears. Trying to ignore the growing ache between her legs she never let her eyes leave him. A small voice in her head was saying she should take over for him, let her be the one to do the work. 

Later. She told herself, this image was far too enjoyable for right now. Without him even speaking a word she could see how close he was getting, how ragged his breaths and moans were becoming, how fast his hand moved as he stroked himself. He was getting close, so close, it could be any second now. 

“Stop.” She instructed. Her voice broke him out of his haze, his hand stopped. His chest heaved as he opened his eyes to glance up at her. Smiling down at him with a sweetly sadistic smile. 

“Why-” She cut him off before he could even finish the word. Grabbing a handful of hair she pulled his hair to make him look up at her. 

“I never said this was a reward.” She said. Marius opened his mouth to speak again but the tighter grip on his hair stopped him before he could even make a sound. “You don’t interrupt your mistress.” She chastised. 

His face fell into a pout. He tried to give her the best begging eyes he could, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. 

“I’m sorry mistress.” He said. She released her grip on his hair, gently rubbing the spot to soothe the aching strands. 

“That’s right.” Her hand travelled down to cup his cheek, letting him lean into her hand. “You know Marius, you can behave so well when you choose to.” She admired how he sought out her touch, how desperately he wanted her. 

She lingered for a few moments longer before pulling away her hand. Marius looked calmer, which is what she had been aiming for. As her hand pulled away his eyes went back up towards her. Awaiting her next words like a puppy waiting for a treat. 

“You can touch yourself again, harder this time.” She told him. He smiled and  nodded. 

“Yes mistress, thank you mistress.” He said. He returned his attention to his throbbing erection, only needing a few quick strokes to get back to that state of pleasure he’d been in before. Mind filled with nothing but heat and intense sensation. Doing it just as she said he made sure his movements were faster and more intense. Each second made him lose control a little bit more than before. 

“Does that feel good, baby?” She asked him, her hand tracing patterns into his shoulder. He nodded furiously. “You’re doing a very good job.” Even with his eyes squeezed closed he felt the way she was watching him still. 

Each motion was getting more intense, he could feel that familiar pressure starting to build up. Just a little more like this, just a little bit more, just a little- 

“Stop.” She said.  He cried out as he let go of himself, looking up at her again. The pressure inside him already starting to decrease. “You were close weren’t you?” He nodded but she didn’t find that answer satisfactory. “Remember baby, use your words.” 

Swallowing a lump in his throat he struggled to speak above a whisper. “Yes, I was close.” 

This was all on purpose, Marius knew that. She was going to force him to edge himself until she determined when he could finish. She could do this for hours if she so wished. The very thought of that brought tears to his eyes. His cock was already throbbing painfully, his whole body shaking with need. 

Running her hands over his shoulders and rubbing his back she soothed him, but with every one of his nerves lit up even the smallest of touches was making him ache. He rested his head against her leg. Burying his face against her thigh. 

“You know what’s happening sweetheart.” She said. “You’ve teased me all day with your jokes and comments. So now I’m teasing you.” 

He didn’t see how the two could even be equivalent, but he didn’t question her. He did want to finish at some point after all, and any smart remark would earn him another failed finish. 

Pushing his sweat soaked hair away from his eyes she made sure that he met her eyes. As sweet as her face was, her eyes were filled with her own pleasure seeing him like this. So needy and begging.

“Can you keep going?” She asked him softly. Breaking out of the sweet but sadistic tone she’d been using before. “Are you okay Marius?” 

Taking a breath to pull himself together he nodded. “I’m okay. I wanna keep going.” 

She nodded back. Leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead, then returning to her previous posture. “Sit up straight baby, keep your eyes on me.” 

Although he moved slowly he straightened his back and repositioned his knees on the floor. He was probably going to have bruises there by the end of this, she thought. She’d make sure to take care of that later. 

“You know what I’m going to tell you don’t you?” She asked. He nodded, she smiled at his understanding. “Very good. You’ve been listening well.” Marius blushed at her compliment, somehow becoming even redder than he already was. “Go ahead, you have my permission to get back to it.” 

Just like the two times before he held his shaft in his hand, he was getting so sensitive now. Even just the act of wrapping his fingers around himself sent a shiver throughout his whole body. Still he moved his hand up and down, just as before. 

The cycle continued again. He’d stroke himself to the point of near completion before she’d tell him to stop before letting him continue again once he’d come down from the edge. With each cycle the time it would take for him to get close to finishing was getting shorter and shorter. 

She kept a mentally tally in her head of how many times she’d made him do this. This wasn’t the first time she’d edged him, but this was the first time he’d managed to go so many cycles. In the past she’d managed maybe two or three rounds at most before he’d beg for her to let him be done. This time he had already broken his previous record. Despite that though, he was getting close to the end of his rope.  

“Stop.” She told him after another round. Marius cried out, tears filling his eyes, she could see how his body was starting to shake with oversensitivity. Marius leaned forward to rest against her knee, eyes closed with a growing exhaustion. She wiped one of the tears from his eyes, her other hand massaging his back and shoulders to help him relax. 

In this state he was so far from the Marius she’d seen this morning. How he’d teased her with a confident air around him, a smirk on his lips that made her question if she should punch him or kiss him. Now he was on his knees, holding her leg for support, completely at her mercy. 

“Good boy Marius.” She said. “You’ve been so good.” He weakly lifted his head to look at her. She smiled at him, all sweetness this time. “I think you’ve atoned for your teasing earlier today.” His head perked up, was she saying what he thought she was saying? 

His voice was getting weak but he spoke nonetheless. “Yes mistress.” 

“I think you’ve earned your reward. Do you think you’ve earned it?” 

“Yes, please mistress.” She leaned forward in her seat. 

“Come up here, take my seat.” Standing up she helped him stand on his weak knees. Collapsing into the chair Marius watched her as she lowered herself to her knees in front of him. The same position he’d been in just moments earlier. 

Her hand trailed up his thigh, her fingers gently taking hold of the base of his shaft. He breathed out a moan. Despite his own work her hand always felt a million times better than his could ever. 

After a few strokes she opened her mouth to push his tip between her lips. The instant warmth made him moan loudly. Her tongue swirled around the tip, spending a long moment to focus on it before moving her head down to take more of him in. The warm softness of her mouth sent waves of white hot pleasure through him. 

Hollowing out her cheeks she took as much of him as she could. Using her hand to hold the rest of his cock she couldn’t quite fit. Just as quickly as she took him in she started to bob her head up and down. Humming as she went down on him, the vibrations sending even more pleasure straight through him. 

“Ah-” He gasped. “That’s so good.” He reached down to hold the back of her head, encouraging her to keep going. One of her hands gripped his thigh, her eyes closed in deep concentration. 

His mind was growing fuzzy again. There was nothing he could focus on besides the intense pleasure he was feeling. His breaths were labored as he sat there, his moans growing louder and higher in pitch as she forced herself to take more of him. 

That overwhelmingly familiar pressure was building again, this time he didn’t try and keep it away. He forced his eyes open to look at her, to focus on her, her lips were getting swollen already, spit and precum making them glisten. 

“I’m-” He started, another moan cutting him off. “I’m going to finish mistress I need to I-” He gasped as he felt the pressure inside him explode, his vision went white as he cried loudly. His hold on her head tightened and held her there as he felt himself finish inside her mouth, the way she quietly groaned sending another shock through him. 

Removing his hands from her head he pushed his hair out of his face. His entire body was left a weak shaking mess. His chest heaved as he looked down at her. She released his softening cock from her mouth with a wet pop. 

She stood up and leaned close to him, making sure he saw some of his cumt that lingered on her lips. Despite his shaking body he leaned forward to kiss her. He didn’t even care that he could taste the bitter fluid. He just needed to kiss her, he needed that more than anything else in the world. 

Marius pulled her in to sit on his lap, wanting to keep her close. She broke away from the kiss, holding his face in her hands. 

“Was that too much?” She asked him. He shook his head. 

“No.” He answered as a whisper. He held her close to him. 

“You’re okay?” 

“I’m okay.” He said. She kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry for teasing you so much earlier.” 

“You’re not sorry.” She joked. Marius laughed weakly. 

“No, I’m not.” He sighed, smiling at her. “You’re okay too?” 

“Mmhm.” She nodded. Marius kissed her again, melting against her. 

After a few more gentle kisses he pulled away just a few centimeters. “Is it my turn to make you feel good missy?” 

She smiled at him and smoothed down his hair. “Let’s rest a bit first. Come on, let’s go to your bedroom, lie down for a bit.” He nodded but hesitated to let go of her. “Marius?” 

“Just one more moment.” He said. “Just one more.” 

Pressing another kiss to his forehead she obliged. Letting him hold her like she was the whole world, and her holding him back. Like he was the whole universe. 

[forever-rogue]

if i can send another request: uh how about reader is a helper in marcus moreno's house and she thinks her feelings are unrequited bc she helps marcus get ready to go on a date. And then she has to look over missy while hes on the date and missy is like: u like him right. And reader is like: no way thats unprofessional. And missy looks at her like really? And finally reader caves and says yeah i like you. And at the very end marcus ends up confessing he does like reader and it ends happy? 😭😭

I love 1 (one) crime fighting hero/tired dad. This got real soft, enjoy!

Marcus Moreno x fem!reader; warnings: slight language

Pedro Characters Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Thanks for doing this," Marcus' voice is soft as he calls to you from his bedroom. You remind yourself of the current situation and plaster on the best smile you could muster up. But you weren't fooling yourself - or Missy for that matter. She rolled her eyes as she passed by and headed to the kitchen table to start homework; she had a lot to say but it could wait for now.

"Its no problem, Marcus," you promised through slightly gritted teeth as you reminded yourself that you had no reason to be jealous - no reason to have feelings other than friendly for your closest friend.

"C-can you help me real quick?" there was an almost nervous quality to his voice as you made a small sound of confirmation before pushing open the door to his bedroom. Your jaw almost dropped sight; Marcus was standing in front of his mirror, looking more handsome than anyone should have legally been allowed to.

Opting to stick with his love of black on black, he was sporting a pair of well fitting black trousers and a black button that displayed the muscles of his back whenever he moved. You barely caught yourself when you realized he was holding two ties in his hand and displayed them to you.

Flitting over to him, you took both options and shook your head, tossing them into the bed. He didn't say anything but raised a brow in amusement, "no tie. Just what you have on is fine. The black on black is an excellent choice."

"Yeah?" he asked as a nervous smile tugged on the corners of his mouth, "its not too...depressing?"

"Not at all, its very se- you look good Marcus," you promised him as he let out a nervous huff of laughter, "she's going a lucky lady, and she's going to love you."

"Hmm," he mused for a moment, turning his gaze to you in the mirror and trying to read your expression. You quickly dropped your eyes, not sure if you were quite ready to cross that bridge just yet - or ever. His hands went to the top buttons and he quickly undid a few, exposing the smallest amounts of golden skin, "listen, I-"

"I should go and help Missy with her homework," you quickly cut him off before anything else could happen or heavens forbid you confessed your undying love then and there, "and you finish getting ready, mister!"

Before anything else could be said, you darted out of his room and towards the kitchen where Missy was pretending to be engrossed in a book. You knew she was keen on getting as much information as possible and had not doubt been trying to listen in. She closed her book as you took a seat next to her and offered her a small smile.

"How does pizza sound for dinner? We can even go crazy and get ice cream for dessert," you suggested and despite her attempt at a serious look her eyes lit up with excitement as she nodded, "don't worry, we won't tell your dad. It'll be our secret."

"Alright ladies," Marcus came out of the bedroom now sporting that damned leather jacket that made you weak in the knees on top of it all. It was the glasses, perched smartly on his nose that set you off though. How could one man look so good? Practically unfair. Missy nudged your leg to snap out of your little daydream as you caught yourself, "I'm headed off. I won't be back too late. Missy, I want all your homework done and bed at a reasonable hour."

"Fine dad," she groaned as she pulled her folder out of her background with the day's homework.

"And you," he turn his attention back to you as you felt a flush of warmth wash over your face, "are an absolute angel. I don't know what I'd do without you. I owe you big time."

"Don't  worry about a thing," you insisted as you motioned your head towards the door, "now go and have fun, Marcus. You deserve it."

"Thanks," there was that stupid, silly, soft smile on his face again, "see you tonight."

With a small wave, he was off on his date. There was a soft tugging on your heart and the back of your eyes burned ever so slightly. You took a breath to collect yourself and decided to ignore it all. It didn't matter anyways, Marcus was going on a date with not you, and whoever she was, she would undoubtedly fall in love with him. It was Marcus Moreno, after all, who wouldn't fall in love?

Missy watched you silently for a few moments before deciding not to bring anything up...not just yet anyway.

»»————-　♡　————-««

“You should tell him you know,” Missy said through a mouthful of ice cream - chocolate chip cookie dough with lots of brownie and fudge, her all time favorite. Your brow furrowed in confusion as you tried to figure out what she could possibly mean. Your stomach churned at the realization, “my dad - you should tell him you like him.”

“W-why would I do that?” you stammered nervously as you tried to keep your face neutral. Missy groaned at your vain attempt as it become very obvious that the young girl knew exactly how you felt, “Missy, I can’t do that. He doesn’t...he couldn’t possibly ever feel the same way.”

“Why not?” she asked as she possibly off her bowl before setting down on the coffee back and pausing the movie you’d been watching, “you and dad both like each other! You might as well tell each other and get it over with. Besides, you’re a million times better than whatever her name is that he’s on a date with.”

“How could you possibly know that?” you laughed lightly at her fervent insistence, the words that he liked you too not lost on you at all.

“Because she’s not you,” she insisted, “and dad really likes you. He’s just...too awkward sometimes. I know he just doesn’t want to mess anything up. But I’m telling you, you both need to stop being fools and tell each other you’re in love!”

“Alright, little Missy,” you groaned lightly as she smiled triumphantly - she had you hook, line, and sinker, “time for bed, it’s late anyways. Go brush your teeth and get changed. I’ll check on you in a little bit.”

“Fine,” she sighed heavily, a trait definitely inherited from Marcus, “but you know I’m right! Tell him!”

You were about to make a smart retort as you watched her giggling form disappear up the stairs but decided against. Apparently all the times you thought you were subtle about your affections towards Marcus, you were being anything but.

Shit, shit, shit. Hopefully he’d never noticed. He was a Heroic, you reminded yourself, of course he knew. But he’d never said anything, never treated you oddly...maybe he didn’t know after all. Maybe this was one of the things he was blind to. Yeah...that was surely it. Besides, why would someone like him ever like you? You were just you and he was...everything.

You’d been so lost in your conversation with Missy and now your own thoughts that you’d had heard the front door open and close. You hadn’t noticed as Marcus slowly made his way into the kitchen and overheard everything. But Missy did - she was his daughter after all, and her little scheme played out exactly out she had planned.

Sighing, you stood up and stretched, still unawares of the eyes glued to you. Marcus smiled at the little sound you made, his own heart thumping nervously as he realized what he needed to do. His date had ended early - his decision -and it hadn’t been particularly fun. His date had been nice, pretty, kind, but at the end of it all, she wasn’t you. That’s what he had wanted. Enough with the skirting around the issue - he was finally going to tell you how he felt.

Scooping the dirty bowls up, you tried to figure out just how you were going to tell Marcus about your feelings. Missy wouldn’t drop it, you knew she wouldn’t. You could just get straight out with it - direct and to the point and lay all the cards on the table.

Or was that too direct? Should you hint some more; although that hadn’t gotten you very far either....fuck. Nope you were just going to have to do it once and for all.

“Marcus - I’m in love with you,” you tested the words out to yourself to see how they would sound. Your voice was a small, soft thing, but you couldn’t deny that you liked how they sounded. Deciding that it would just take some practice to get yourself ready to say the words to him, you repeated the words, “I love you, I love you, I love you. Marcus Moreno - I am in love with you.”

As you flipped on the kitchen light, you let out a small scream and almost dropped the bowls in your hands as you finally spotted Marcus. He was quick to your side and took the bowls from you, setting them back on the counter and offering you a sheepish, but soft expression. Nothing but horror washed over you as quickly came to the conclusion that he must have heard everything single thing you’d said.

“M-Marcus,” you fumbled over your words as he watched you with a soft expression, “I-I-I didn’t hear you come in, didn’t know you were back. I was just umm...playing around. Missy, she umm, I didn’t...ughh...Oh...this is...I didn’t mean it?”

“I got back a little bit ago,” he confessed as you hid your face in his hands; yeah, he’d heard everything, “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

“Listen, Marcus, I didn’t mean it, it’s just...Missy thinks that we’re in love or something, and I was just messing around...” it might have been the weakest lie you’d ever told and the look on his face said that he didn’t believe a word of it. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost think...he was happy, “wait - you’re back? I didn’t expect you for another hour or so.”

“Left earlier than expected,” he admitted as he tried to still the wild beating of his own heart. He took a step closer and you swallowed the lump in your throat as you tried to not completely lose the remaining grips on reality you had, “wasn’t quite feeling it.”

“Oh?” you asked softly as he shrugged lightly, “w-what happened?”

“She wasn’t you,” he echoed Missy’s words from earlier as an involuntary smile crossed your features. Holy shit - was this actually happening? No, no, no, this must be all a dream, “I should have asked you to dinner. A long time ago actually. I don’t know why I didn’t. I guess Missy’s right, I’m just an awkward uncool dad.”

“Me?” you pointed at yourself as he laughed lightly and nodded, “why on earth would you ask me?”

“Why would I...I thought it was kind of obvious by now?” he tilted his head to the side as you looked at him with wide, innocent eyes, “I mean, Missy pretty much spilled the beans...”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you looked at him nervously, still refusing to believe that this was actually happening, “you like me? Me?”

Then he whispered your name, so softly, so reverently, so gently before reaching over and putting his hand gently on your cheek, “I’m in love with you.”

“Me,” you didn’t bother to try and hide your smile as he nodded, “I....yeah. Me too. Obviously. She’d been pushing me to tell you, but I didn’t want to...”

“Mess anything up?” he finished for you as you nodded, letting out the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in, “me neither.”

“Sooo...” you trailed off and flicked your eyes back his, admiring the way the soft brown orbs stared back into your, crinkling in the corners as his dimple was on display, “ummm...I should...I should go since you’re back.”

“Is that really what you want?” he teased as you shook your head before laughing, “do you know what I want?”

“Ummm.... no?”

“I really, kind of want to kiss you,” he admitted as your heart blossomed with joy at his gentle words, “if that’s okay.”

“Yeah,” you bit your lip lightly, “I want that too.”

And then it happened, easily, fluidly, almost like you’d both been doing it forever. His hands found your waist as you tugged you close, your arms snaking around his neck as you leaned up to meet his kiss, His lips were plush and soft, and even better than you could ever have dreamed. It wasn’t some rough and brash tangle of teeth, with either of you fighting for dominance; no, this was slow and easy, intimate to its core and filled with nothing but longing and desire.

This was exactly what you’d always envisioned.

“It’s about time,” the two of you slowly pulled apart at the sound of her voice as you tried to find Missy peeking at the two of you from the foot of the stairs, “I told you both!”

Before either of you could say anything else, she darted upstairs and back to her bedroom, slamming the two shut as he pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms tightly around you. He chased your lips with his own, giving you a few more soft pecks before you grinned at each other like fools in love which, you supposed, you were.

“She’s too smart for her own good sometimes,” he sighed lightly as you touched his cheek, “but I’ll let this one slide.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh huh honey,” he whispered before kissing you again - it was already something he never wanted to stop doing now that he’d had a taste, “what were you saying about having to leave?”

“I don’t remember,” you teased with a kiss to his cheek.

“Stay?” he asked softly; it was a question that held a lot more meaning than just one night, or something temporary. You both knew exactly what it meant.

“Yes,” you promised, “I’ll stay.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

Permanent Taglist: @secretsweetscollectionblog  @sheridans-dynamos  @queenbbarnes  @persephonesnebula   @ah-callie  @blushingwueen  @thisis-theway @rosetophighlander  @rae-gar-targaryen    @hiscyarika  @readsalot73  @huliabitch  @ollyoxenfrees @coffeeandtodd  @beepbeepsephy   @scarlettwitcher  @nerdyknightwritersblog  @choicesarcade  @arrowswithwifi  @everythingaboutnothingstuff  @suckerfor-fanfics  @bestintheparsec @winters-buck @javihoney  @aeryntheofficial  @hail-doodles @engineeredfiction @aeryntheofficial  @asgardianvamp21  @keithseabrook27  @karmezii  @dearspacepirates  @thatsuitlooksgoodonyou  @paintballkid711 @mrpascals @kochamcie @lv7867 @artsymaddie @gooddaykate @rosiefridayrogersunday @heyitmelexie @criminalmind1927 @justanotherblonde23 @coni-martina​ @thewayofthemandalorian

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter thirteen: "Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new"

Words count: 16,5K

Summary: Spencer's headaches don't seem to have a logical explanation. The only thing that makes sense is that he has been causing them to himself by overthinking something that's already clear: he has been an asshole, and he should tell reader how he feels. Reader realizes she's been stupid all along. And then, she goes out with James. Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Derek finally intervene.

Warnings: Cursing (but that's just my writing style), angst, hurt, and a little comfort from friends. There's a fight, alcohol consumption. Someone is getting drunk...

A/N: Ok, so... here we go!

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

Words count: 16,5K

Summary: Spencer's headaches don't seem to have a logical explanation. The only thing that makes sense is that he has been causing them to himself by overthinking something already clear: he has been an asshole, and he should tell reader how he feels. Reader realizes she's been stupid all along. Will she go out with James? Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Derek finally intervene.

Warnings: Cursing (but that's just my writing style), angst, hurt, and a little comfort from friends. There's a fight, alcohol consumption. Someone is getting drunk...

A/N: Ok, so... things are slowly but surely happening here.

---

Spencer's point of view

- "That doesn't make any sense!"- I nearly lost it at my medical appointment. To be fair, I was losing my sanity for the last week, but that day, that minute, I have had enough.

- "I'm not sure what you want me to say,"- the doctor frowned, confused by my reaction.

- "So there's nothing wrong?"

- "Well, your scans are perfectly normal, and there doesn't seem to be any physical explanation for your headaches."

- "Well, what do I do now?"- I was lost. I was hoping he could tell me there was something physically wrong with me that we could fix. But apparently, everything was ok.

- "Well, have you considered..."

- "Considered what?"- I knew what he was implying, but I didn't want to deal with that. The doctor sighed and simply just said it.

- "A psychosomatic cause."

- "Psychosomatic?"

- "It just means mental or emotional stress..."

I had to cut the doctor right there, 'cos it was nearly insulting that he thought he needed to explain to me what that meant.

- "I know what psychosomatic means, doctor, but it's not that."

- "Well, I think it's something we should consider."

- "It's not... I'm not crazy!"- but yes, I was going a little crazy at the time.

- "Crazy? Dr. Reid, I'm not saying..."- the professional stared at me, shocked, as I put on my satchel and stood up.

- "I have headaches. I have intense sensitivity to light because there's something wrong with me physically, not mentally. It's not that."

- "That?"

- "Listen, doctor, my mother's a paranoid schizophrenic who's been institutionalized, so I know very well what mental illness looks like, maybe even better than you, and it's not that. It's not."

I walked to the door, but before I could leave or dramatically storm out, the doctor added one more thing.

- "Your headaches are more likely caused by stress due, I suspect, to your very consuming job. My recommendation is to take a few weeks off and have a real vacation. Disconnect from work, and relax. That's all."

The doctor seemed genuinely concerned, so I just nodded and walked out. My head was killing me, and to be honest, I wasn't thinking straight.

It was Thursday. My head was killing me. I hadn't spoken more than a handful of words with (Y/N) since last Friday, and to call it torture came short. It was consuming my whole life at that point. I hadn't slept more than maybe three hours that entire week. After we reached home from Miami, I focused on the paperwork and whatever request for information that crossed my desk.

But I wasn't blind, neither deaf nor stupid. No, I was stupid for wasting so many chances I had in almost five years to tell (Y/N) how much I loved her. Now I was doomed to look at her from a safe distance, as she enjoyed life with her new boyfriend. James.

I first heard his name Wednesday morning when a delivery boy showed up at the bullpen, asking for (Y/N). Everybody looked at her, and she blushed as she raised her hand, and the delivery boy gave her a small box and asked her to sign for the package.

- "What is that, pretty girl?"- Morgan asked when the delivery was gone, and he walked over to see what was into the box.

- "I have no idea... but it passed security, so I know it's not a bomb"- she chuckled and opened it.

- "Wow! Did you send her these, kid?"- Morgan looked at me chuckling, but as soon as he saw my serious expression, he frowned, confused.

- "This is incredible!"- it was the whole Jane Austen collection in a deluxe edition. It was gorgeous. She obviously loved it. And it came with a card.

- "Can't wait 'till Friday night. James"- Emily read out loud as (Y/N) stared at the box, blushing- "Ok missy, you have some explaining to do!"

But I didn't stick around to hear the rest of the story. I didn't need the torture. So I stood up and walked to the kitchenette to get another cup of coffee. And then I hid in the briefing room because I needed to be on my own for a while. I sat at the table and stared at my hands, trying to remain calm. I couldn't cry at work. I shouldn't show my true feelings when my friends were around. I didn't want them asking a million questions I didn't want to answer with the truth.

- "Sorry, man,"- Morgan said as he walked in and sat at the other side of the table- I thought you had sent her those books 'cos you have been acting all weird lately, and you were trying to get on her good side

- "Don't worry"- I tried to look cool and even smiled at Morgan, but he knew better than that.

- "So... how are you?"

- "I'm ok, you?"- I was annoyed already, but I knew there was no way out from that conversation

- "Kid, come on. You can talk to me."

- "There is nothing I wanna talk about right now. I am ok!"- I stood up and walked around the room, frustrated and trying not to yell.

- "Come on, Reid. It's getting painful to watch! You have to tell her how you feel!"- Derek stood up too, and I widened my eyes at his words, scared everybody downstairs might have heard us. I looked at the door; it was locked.

- "I don't want to talk about that now."

- "Man! Come on!"- but I passed by his side and ignored him, opening the door and basically running back to my desk.

From where I could clearly see (Y/N) blushing and staring at her books. Great.

That day went painfully slow. By the time I reached my apartment, I was exhausted both mentally and emotionally. My head was killing me, and all I wanted was to get under the covers of my bed with a book, a cup of herbal tea and make a massive effort to get some sleep.

Apparently, I was asking for too much. Ten minutes after my arrival, my bell rang, forcing my weary body to move from the couch to the door. Sadly, it wasn't (Y/N), the only person I wanted to see that minute. Instead, it was Ashley, and I had to pretend and smile when I saw her.

- "Hey! Am I interrupting something?"- she asked with a cheerful smile as she stood by the door and showed me a paper bag- I got some extra dumplings, and I thought you might like to share

- "Thank you, Ashley... but I already ate."- I lied and watched her leave the box on my table and take a look around- "Wait, where did you get my address?"

- "It's on the system."- she answered casually, and I frowned, thinking there had to be a better way to keep our information classified if we were FBI agents. Not that I didn't want Ashley to know where I lived, but... I just didn't want her there.

- "And what were you doing?"

- "Getting... really to bed, actually. I am weary."

- "And... Do you need any help?"- Ashley stood closer to me and smiled mischievously. I cleared my throat, feeling awkward and even a little embarrassed with her proposal.

- "No, thank you, I'm ok."

But she didn't get the hint. Instead, she ran her tongue through her lips very slowly and rested her hands on my hips. My whole body aches at that touch. Not because I craved more, but because it made me feel nervous and uneasy. I didn't want her to touch me, but I didn't want to be rude.

- "You know, Spence, (Y/N) has a boyfriend now, and she definitely moved on with her life. Maybe you should start thinking about doing the same."

- "I'm sorry?"- I frowned as I stared at her silly grin. She thought she was flirting, but instead, she was actually hurting me.

- "I saw her Friday with Anderson's friend. She seemed to be having a great time. Maybe it's time you have fun too."- she leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I took three steps back and shook my head right away.

- "No, Ashley, it's not like that,"- she frowned, confused, and blushed, embarrassed immediately.

-" What? But I thought you... I thought you liked me."

- "I'm sorry, Ashley, but..."- I hesitated in my answer, trying to find the right ways to reject her. I had never rejected anyone before in my entire life. I have never been lucky with girls at all.

- "But what? You don't want me?"

No. I didn't want her. Not even a little. Not even at all. But I couldn't tell her that just upfront. I had to sugarcoat it. I didn't want to hurt her, though. She wasn't a bad person. Just... Not the right person for me.

- "I'm sorry, Ashley. I am sure you are an amazing woman, and any man would be glad to..."

- "Not any man, Spencer. You! I want you!"- but I just shook my head and sighed.

- "I'm sorry."

That was all I managed to answer. Her cheeks kept blushing, and somehow, her eyes were tearing up too. I remembered (Y/N) once told me that she would involuntarily cry every time she was upset, which always made her feel weak. I thought I could tell Ashley crying was totally normal when one's upset. But instead, I just stayed quiet.

- "You know, she is with someone else now. So she clearly doesn't want you, Spencer. Why are you waiting for her?"

I could tell she meant to hurt me, but she couldn't do it. Why? I guess because I knew she didn't understand (Y/N) and me. She tried to make it seem like (Y/N) had ruined everything, but I knew it had been me. There was no one else to blame but me.

- "I don't wanna fight with you, Ashley,"- I whispered and shook my head- And I don't want to talk about (Y/N) with you.

- "She doesn't love you, Spencer,"- that we both agreed on.

- "She has nothing to do with what's going on right here. I don't wanna have anything but a professional relationship with you, Ashley. I'm sorry if you had any other thoughts about us, but it's not gonna happen. Not tonight, not ever. And not because of (Y/N)."

Ashley gave me a stern look. Her chin quivered, but she didn't flinch. Instead, she grabbed the food she had brought and walked to the door.

- "You are gonna regret this, Spencer!!"- she yelled and stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door.

But no matter what, I knew I wouldn't. I wasn't going to regret rejecting her that night.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I stared at the books James had sent me and sighed. I was home alone on a Wednesday night, staring at a bunch of books on my coffee table. They were unique, gorgeous, and clearly expensive. But they meant nothing compared to the one sitting at their side: Spencer's edition of the Illustrated Man. It was old, had many notes on the sides, and the corner of the pages had been folded... primarily by me.

I sipped my glass of wine and sighed. I missed Spencer. I didn't want to go out with James. I wasn't interested in him at all. I just liked the attention I got from him, mostly 'cos I knew he had a crush on me... because Anderson had pointed it out as soon as he told me about him.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I ran my fingers through Spencer's book. I missed him. But he was with Ashley now. So I had to move on. I didn't want to, though. I just wanted him. I could almost see him there, on the couch, laughing. I could hear his laughter as we played board games. His current favorite was Monopoly Gamer Mario Kart, and he really enjoyed winning. He could get all cocky as he got all my coins.

Everywhere I looked around in my apartment reminded me of Reid. It was just the books, his cardigan on my couch, the umbrella he had left two years ago, and that belonged in my place now. It was just the pictures of him on the walls, memories of trips, dinners, Christmas, parties with Lu, Frank, and Mikey. It was literally everything. My apartment screamed Spencer Reid because he was the person I had shared the most amazing times with there.

On that kitchen island, we had carved pumpkins every Halloween for the last four years. On that table, he served the first meal he ever prepared from scratch. On that couch, we forgot about all our phobias and cuddled for countless hours.

My whole life was about Spencer Reid. How was I ever going to move on from him? How was I ever going to love someone the way I loved him?

I sobbed and just then realized I was crying my heart out. I held my legs, wrapping my arms around them, and rocked back and forth for a few minutes. I was losing my mind, and the only thing that made sense was crying until there were no more years left inside of me.

When the phone rang, I had a headache. I always get one after I cry. I prayed it wasn't a case 'cos I wasn't really sober after drinking a whole bottle of wine, crying, on the floor. Literally, on the floor. But it wasn't Penelope with a case. It was Frank, and he could tell from the very first moment that something was wrong.

- "Nugget, are you ok?"

- "Yeah, Paco, why?"- I slurred and cursed. I was busted.

- "Why are you drunk?"

- "Because I got home after a horrible day and decided to drown my fucking bad mood in chardonnay. Guess what? The shitty bastard keeps floating, but I am not giving up!"

Frank chuckled with my drunken words. I heard him light a cigarette and walk around somewhere I figured was his apartment.

- "And what is the doc doing?"

- "What the fuck do I know?"- my voice didn't hide the hurt I felt, but I forgot Frank had no idea what was happening between Spencer and me.

- "Doc isn't there?"

- "No, we are no longer tied by the hip."

- "Ok, nugget, what the fuck is going on?"

- "Spencer has a girlfriend."

- "What?!"- I nearly dropped my phone, 'cos Frank yelled into my ear after hearing my reply.

- "Yeah, Spencer Walter Reid has a girlfriend. So if you wanna know about him, you should call fucking agent trainee Seaver, who is probably training his cock right now!!"

I grabbed my glass and finished what was left of the wine. I knew I had another bottle in the fridge, but it was just Wednesday, I still might be called in for a case, and I still had to get up early in the morning to go to work. Getting drunk wasn't the answer. But... I wasn't asking any questions either. So I stood up slowly and walked to the kitchen to grab the bottle.

- "No, nugget. There's no way you are telling me the truth!"

- "Why should I lie? Spencer has a girlfriend. Her name is Ashley."

- "(Y/N), Doc has been in love with you for years! There's no way he has a girlfriend!!"- I put the phone on speaker and left it on the counter to open the cold bottle of wine and pour myself another glass.

- "Can you all people stop saying Spencer is in love with me?!"- tears filled my eyes as I shouted and hit the table- "I know he is not! And that's why I feel like shit!"

- "Ok, nugget... calm down. Are you home?"

- "Yes... can you come over?"

- "I'm sorry, I'm out of town. I came to New York for a job interview."

- "What?! When? Why?"

- "'Cos I thought maybe it was time for a new challenge..."- my heart stopped with those words, and Frank knew it- "But don't worry, I didn't get it. You won't get rid of me so easily, nugget."

- "Good, 'cos I don't want any more changes. I can't deal with any more things changing... I don't like it..."

- "Ok, nugget, I am a little worried now, so I'm going to call Lu and ask her to go to your house, ok?"

- "No, please don't"- I closed my eyes, feeling the room spinning as soon as I did- "I can tell I had a little too much to drink already, so I'll finish this glass, and I'll go to bed."

- "Are you sure?"- I knew Frank was worried, and the last thing I wanted was to be a burden for my friends.

- "Definitely."

- "Ok... what if we do something this weekend?"

- "Sure! I'll be free... if no psychopath decides to ruin our fun again."- Frank chuckled, and I took another sip of my wine.

- "Ok, sounds like a plan. Now please go to bed, and whatever you do, don't do any fucking phone call while you are under the influence."

- "I don't drink and call, Paco. Trust me,"- he chuckled one more time, his laughter bringing a smile to my lips 'cos it too damn contagious not to smile, and then, we said goodnight.

I looked around my kitchen. Nothing but memories with Spencer in there too. I could almost see him sitting at the other side of the kitchen island, sipping his coffee, giving me food facts as I cooked. The only fact I was sure about at that point was that if I wanted to move on from Spencer, I was going to have to move out of that place. Actually, I would have to move cities, states, probably countries. Because I knew everything reminded me of Reid.

But that night, for once, I knew I couldn't move on. I wanted to feel Spencer close, 'cos I missed him too much. So I did all the things I knew I shouldn't. I put on one of his shirts and sweaters and took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around me as I got under the covers of my bed, thinking Spencer was there with me. His clothes still smelled like him, and it was intoxicating.

So I did the only thing I could do: I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.

Thursday was a waste of a day. I had so much paperwork to catch up with, I put on my headphones and created a bubble around me because it was the only way to survive. Lucky for me, Seaver wasn't at the BAU that day. She was at the academy. Maybe that was why Spencer looked so sad. He missed her.

- "SSA (Y/L/N)"- I picked up my phone and turned around as soon as I heard Hotch's voice at the other side of the line, calling me at the end of the workday.

- "(Y/N), can you come to my office, please?"

- "Yes, sir."

I took a deep breath as I walked over, and brushed my hands against my pants, to get rid of any wrinkle or fuzz. When was the last time Hotch had called me to his office? Over a year earlier, after I had an argument with a suspect in the interrogation room. In my defense, she was striking my nerves. Ok, fine, I didn't have a reason.

- "Hi, is everything ok?"- I asked as soon as I showed up in Aaron's office.

- "Close the door, (Y/N), please."

And immediately, the knot in my stomach made me feel like I was being called into the principal's office. I turned around to do as asked and caught Spencer's eyes staring at me as he stood in the middle of the bullpen, clearly worried. And I felt so weak and moved by how concerned he looked; I did the first thing that came to mind: I smiled and waved.

- "Please, sit down,"- Aaron pointed at the chair across from him, and I did as told, again.

- "Is everything ok, Hotch?"- my question came right out of me, my lips moving before I had actually decided to speak.

- "I have been trying to find the right way to say this for the last half hour, and I am sorry, but..."

- "Oh shit! I'm fired! Why do you hate me so much?"- I jumped from my chair, and Aaron quickly followed me, trying to smother my reaction.

- "No, (Y/N). You are not fired! And no, I don't hate you! Calm down!"- I looked at him, confused and still suspicious.

- "Please, sit down. It's actually because I care about you that I didn't know how to tell you this, but I think almost five years is enough time to stay aside from what's been going on."

- "I'm sorry, Hotch, but I don't follow"- he clenched his jaw and sighed, frustrated. I just stared at him, waiting for the rest of the speech because my unit chief was clearly trying to find the right words to speak his mind.

- "Listen, (Y/N). This is very hard for me to talk about. I've always tried to keep everybody's personal life aside from the FBI. Unfortunately, your relationship with Reid is starting to affect you at your work."

Clearly, that was why he was so uncomfortable. I turned blood red and looked at my hands resting on my lap. I couldn't look into Hotch's eyes.

- "I don't understand. I don't have a relationship with Spencer."

- "The fact neither of you has acted on your feelings doesn't mean you don't have a relationship."

The words came more upset than what Hotch had intended, so he took a deep breath and walked around his office for a moment.

- "After what happened to Haley, I've given too much thought to many of the decisions I've taken in the last years of my life."

I didn't know how to react to Hotch's words because of all the things I could have thought we would talk about. Listening to my unit chief open his heart and talk about his feelings was definitely not my first guess. Not even the eighth.

- "And I care about you and Reid. I don't want you to have any regrets."

- "Which regrets could I have?"- I don't know why I asked if I knew I wasn't going to like the answer.

- "Spencer is in love with you, and you are in love with him. Stop running away from your feelings and face them. Sometimes you have to be courageous and take the first step."

I looked at Aaron Hotchner, almost certain the man sitting in front of me wasn't the same Aaron Hotchner who had once hired me. The man who refused to speak his heart. At least, not me. No way on earth that was Hotch.

- "I know it's strange that I tell you this, and I know I am not comfortable doing this... but... I can see that you two did something wrong, and you should try to fix it before you regret it."

For once, I couldn't argue those words. I knew the speech, but it was useless lying to Hotch. He could see through all my bullshit.

- "I... don't think he feels the same as I do,"- I whispered and kept my eyes on my hands, feeling how my cheeks blushed immediately.

- "You are wrong. You two have been nonsensical, and if I can be sincere, it's getting painful to watch- I winced in a mix of embarrassment and frustration."

- "Hotch... it's not that easy. I don't know if you noticed, but Ashley is the girl who caught his attention."

- "It's the lies that we keep telling ourselves that define what we are instead of who we can really be."- he sentenced, shaking his head- "He loves you. But for the last few weeks, you two have been acting like you are twelve years old."

- "I don't think you are getting all the info straight. I mean... I have tried to tell him."

- "No, you have tried to teach a blind man how to recognize colors,"- now that was Hotch frustrated. He was clearly awkward but also upset I wasn't following his ideas.

- "I'm pretty sure he is with Seaver."

- "He asked never to be paired with Seaver,"- Hotch refuted, frowning. Now that was new information. But I kept refusing to admit anything.

- "Probably not to be suspicious or to make sure his head was in the job."

- "His request was literally: "I don't want to give (Y/N) any sign I like Seaver, 'cos I don't."

Hotch looked at me in silence as I tried to process what he had just said. I couldn't believe it, but at the same time, you can't ever doubt Hotch.

- "Why would he do such a thing?"

- "You have to ask him."

- "Maybe he just doesn't want anyone suspicious about what they have."

- "Why is it so hard to believe? He loves you!"

I opened my mouth to argue with my boss when Anderson knocked on the door and excused himself.

- "Strauss sent you this, sir. She said it's urgent."- Grant said and cut me a small smile before disappearing from the room.

- "Thank you, Anderson."- Hotch said as he went through the papers and sighed.

- "You are busy,"- I inferred and stood up- "We can continue... whatever this was some other time if you'd like."

I stood up, seeing a clear way out of that awkward conversation. I wasn't sure I could open my heart with him.

- "One more thing, (Y/N)"- Hotch said as I stood up and almost ran to the door.

- "What is it?"

- "Tell him how you feel, or I'll have to take action myself."

- "What kind of actions?"

- "Let's hope we don't get to that point."

Hotch's face was severe. He wasn't joking. I just nodded and walked out of his office, scared of what would happen if I ever told Spencer how I felt. But now I was being forced to. That wasn't good.

I looked around, Morgan was packing his things to leave, and Spencer was on the phone, walking to the elevators. Probably he had a date with Ashley, and he was calling her to tell her he was picking her up. I sighed, exhausted, and shook my head.

- "What is it, pretty girl?"- Morgan cut me a warm smile as I reached his side and sighed.

- "I am so tired. I just wanna go home and get under the blankets of my bed with a warm cup of tea and a book."

- "Damn! That sounds thrilling! When is your big date?"- I frowned, groaning. I had totally forgotten about that date.

- "Tomorrow... I'm kind of hoping we get called on a case so I can cancel..."

- "Why?"- Derek looked at me as I started getting ready to go home.

- "'Cos... I don't feel like going."

- "Then don't,"- his answer was so simple I almost laughed.

- "Yeah... I have to go. Did you see the books that guy sent me?"

- "But that doesn't mean you have to go out on a date. You are not forced to do it just 'cos he sent you a present."

- "I know... but I don't know... maybe I'm just too tired and not thinking clearly."

- "Well, go to sleep, pretty girl. And tomorrow, depending on how you are feeling, you can cancel that date. I know someone who would be thrilled to know you won't go out with some guy."

I just shook my head and put on my jacket. I knew he was talking about Reid, but I wasn't in the mood to keep on talking about him with other teammates. Hotch's pep talk had been enough.

- "See you tomorrow, Derek."

Spencer's point of view

My heart dropped as soon as Hotch called (Y/N) to his office. The last time he had done that, she had gotten into trouble with an unsub. She lost her temper in the interrogation room and almost hit the suspect. Had she done something? Was she in trouble? The fact she smiled and waved at me before closing the door made me feel actually worse. Maybe she knew she was in trouble.

I kept looking over from time to time, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening inside Hotch's office, but I gave up after a few minutes because it was impossible.

I still couldn't shake the thought of (Y/N) being in trouble from my head.

- "Dr. Spencer Reid,"- I answered the phone and didn't take my eye from Hotch's door.

- "Hey Doc, Frank here. How are you?"

- "Hey! Good, how are you?"

- "Good, I was just thinking, is (Y/N) around?"

- "No, she is not. Why? She is with our chief unit... Do you need to reach her?"

- "No. Are you busy tonight?"

- "No, why?"

- "I need to talk to you. Alone."

- "Is everything ok?"- of course, it wasn't. Frank had never called to meet alone unless we were planning (Y/N)'s a surprise birthday party.

- "Yeah, don't worry. I just need to talk to you..."

- "Well... I'm heading home now."

- "Great, I just got off the plane... I can meet you there in an hour if that's ok with you."

- "Sure, see you there."

I had never been so nervous about talking with Frank before. Not even when we first met, and I freaked out thinking of any excuse to avoid going to (Y/N)'s apartment. The memories of that day filled my mind the whole way back home. That was the first time I had ever gotten drunk in my entire life, and I never told that to anyone. I always felt people thought I was a loser, and I didn't want to give them any more reasons to do it. But neither Mikey nor Frank ever laughed at me, though they were clearly cooler than I was. They would have never been my friends in high school.

Were they going to be my friends if (Y/N) and I stopped talking to each other? Of course not. What was going to happen between us? I had no idea, and the headaches overanalyzing everything produced me were driving me insane.

- "Hey man,"- Frank walked in and tapped on my back the second he showed up at my door.

- "How was your flight? Where were you?"

- "New York, applying for a job, but didn't get it,"- he took off his jacket and left it on a chair, as he had always done, despite the fact the hat rack was right next to the door.

- "I'm sorry, Frank."

- "That's ok. It wasn't for me."

- "I was gonna get something for dinner. Wanna join me?"

- "No, this won't take too long, I just..."

Frank sighed and looked at me, standing in the middle of my apartment. He was a little shorter than I was, so I had to look down at him, but that could never affect the fact he could kick my ass. I always knew that about him and Frank. In fact, I had seen them get into small fights a few times in the years I had met them.

And the way Frank looked at me that minute let me know he was actually considering hitting me.

- "Why are you mad at me?"

- "Don't profile me! I hate when you and (Y/N) start doing your Jedi shit."

- "I'm sorry, but... you are clearly not happy with me so, why don't you just say it?"

- "Ok, fine. What the fuck is wrong with you?"- Frank simply replied and crossed his arms on his chest.

- "What? What are you talking about?"

- "You have a girlfriend."

- "What? How do you... I don't!"- Frank just shook his head and started talking, not giving me a chance to explain I wasn't dating anyone.

- "Maybe this is my fault. Lu and Mikey kept telling me you had to tell her what you felt at your own peace! But four fucking years are enough to make up your fucking mind!! We were all sure you loved her, 'cos you did, right? I mean, as long as I know, you still do! I saw you less than a month ago, and you two were fucking husband a wife, for Christ's sake!!"

Frank was now almost yelling at me, and I still didn't understand a word that came from his lips.

- "Frank, what are you talking about?"

- "She fucking loves you!! And we were all waiting for you to date her!! Maybe even marry her!! But now you fucking ruined everything dating someone else! And she is fucking broken hearted!! You fucking hurt her!"- Frank yelled, his nostrils were flaring, and he even cracked his knuckles.

- "Frank, I don't really follow what you are saying, but I can assure you, I am not dating."

- "She already told me everything! You made her cry!!"

- "Who?"- I was so lost in that conversation I wasn't sure I followed him.

- "(Y/N)!! You broke her heart! And now I'm gonna have to break your bones!!"- the way Frank threatened me sounded funny, but it wasn't, at all, why? 'Cos I knew he meant it.

- "Wait!!"- I took a few steps back and raised my hands in a sign of defeat- "Stop it! I am not dating anyone!"

- "Don't lie to me, man. That will just make shit worst."

- "I am not lying! I'm just confused about all this... why would you say I'm dating."

- "(Y/N) told me yesterday."

I stared at Frank, speechless. My eidetic memory going a hundred miles, trying to find a moment in time that gave (Y/N) the impression I had a girlfriend.

- "But... I am not."

- "Then who is Agent Seaver?"- I froze and widened my eyes as Frank crossed his arms on his chest one more time and didn't move his eyes from mine.

- "Oh shit!!"- the curse was a whisper Frank read as a confirmation.

- "And you thought you could keep it from her?"

- "What? No! I am not dating Seaver! I don't even like her!!"- and for the first time since we started arguing, Frank gave me the chance to talk.

- "And why would (Y/N) say that?"

- "I have no idea!!! She hasn't spoken to me this whole week!! Not since I saw her making out with that random guy last Friday."

- "What?! She did what?!"- I feel like a blabbermouth telling Frank what her friend had done, but in my defense, (Y/N) had given him wrong information, and I had to set the record straight.

- "Can you explain to me what the fuck is going on between you two? 'Cos she didn't mention any of that!"

- "Beer?"

Ever since Frank and Mikey were my friends, I always had beers in my fridge. I didn't drink much, but I liked being ready in case they showed up. And they did, 'cos they were my friends.

I stood next to the fridge in the kitchen and took a sip of my beer. Frank stared at me from the other side of the room and waited for my explanation. So I tried to start from the very beginning.

- "I don't know why (Y/N) thinks I'm dating Ashley Seaver, but I am not. I barely talk to her."

- "Who is she?"

- "A young agent Emily is training in the BAU... she and (Y/N) don't get along from the start 'cos Seaver's dad killed Mrs. (Y/L/N)'s sister back in college."

- "What?!"- Frank was in shock.

- "Yeah, it's been pretty awkward since day one."

- "And what? She tried to apologize, and (Y/N) nearly killed her?"

- "That was day one. Everything went downhill from there. But I don't get why she thinks we are dating. I barely talk to Seaver. I specifically asked our unit chief not to pair me with her at any case or task to make sure (Y/N) wouldn't think I liked her."

- "Clearly, that didn't work,"- Frank pointed out the obvious and grabbed his phone- "We should ask (Y/N) why..."

- "No!! Please don't!! I don't want her to know we are talking about this,"- I almost choked on the beer when I heard him say that and nearly jumped to take the phone from his hand.

- "Why?"- I didn't have a reason. I just didn't want to do anything that might actually make things worse.

- "Because..."- I didn't pronounce another sentence. I literally deflated after just one word.

- "Shit, that's deep,"- Frank joked and sipped his beer- "If you are not dating Seaver, why haven't you told (Y/N) you love her?"

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped in my tracks and simply shrugged. It felt useless to deny it anymore. Apparently, everybody could see it but (Y/N). And if she did see it, then it just meant one thing:

- "Because she doesn't love me back. Now she is the one dating some random guy she met at a party."

- "The one she kissed Friday?"- Frank raised an eyebrow as I just nodded- "She probably did that out of anger is she thought you were dating Seaver."

- "You didn't see her, Frank. She didn't look hurt at all. She actually looked like she was enjoying it."

- "Well... I didn't see her, and you are right about that. But I've seen her for the last... five years or so. She loves you. You should ask her out on a date, finally."

- "Why would she go out with me?"- I asked, embarrassed of facing my feelings so openly in front of Frank. But he just shrugged and said.

- "I just said so, 'cos she loves you."

Now that was just painful to hear, especially 'cos Frank actually meant it.

- "She doesn't."- I whispered and sipped my beer.

- "Sorry, but I wasn't asking you if you thought she loved you. I am telling you, she does. Now, if you don't want to believe it, that's an entirely different story.

The way Frank looked at me, saying everything so lightly, like it wasn't a big deal at all, shocked me. He had always been upfront about pretty much everything since day one. But still, that day, I wasn't prepared for that. I stayed quiet, looking at the floor, not knowing what to say.

- "Shit! You really don't believe she has feelings for you!! Are you blind?!"

- "Frank, she is my best friend in the whole world. I don't want to lose her..."

- "Why would you lose her? Just 'cos you love her?"

- "If she doesn't feel the same... and I tell her how I feel..."- I started mumbling, but Frank snorted, frustrated.

- "She is so fucking in love with you; it's hard not making fun of it!! She way she looks at you, how she is always worried about you!"

- "She does the same for you, guys."

- "I've met that woman since when we were kids, and believe me, she has never treated us the way she treats you. We are still waiting for her to bake us birthday cakes. She bakes yours every year. Last year's cake was sick! She fucking made the whole Tell-tale heart scene on your fucking cake and hid a heart in the middle of it!! You know what she did for my birthday? She wrapped the guitar strings she got me. That was it. If that doesn't tell you how in love she is with you, I've got a fucking list of things she has done for you all these years! So fucking deal with it and tell her what you feel!"

- "I can't! I just can't do that!"- I yelled back at Frank, for once opening up about what I really felt- "Every time I look at her, and she smiles, my whole brain turns to mush! I can't tell her I love her 'cos she will laugh. A girl like her deserves everything a man can give her! Have you seen me? She deserves so much better!!"

I'm not gonna lie. It felt good finally saying what I felt out loud. Like a weight had been lifted from my chest. Frank just walked over and tapped on my back a few times, nodding.

- "She fucking loves you! You should be with her! That's it! Why are you overthinking this?!"

- "'Cos I don't wanna ruin it!"

- "You two have wasted like four years! I told her I wanted you two to date since the day I fucking met you! She had to ditch Paul and date you! But she is so fucking convinced you don't love her, she is..."

- "What?"- my heart stopped at those words- "Did she say so?"

- "She did, in fact, yell to me I had to stop telling her you loved her 'cos she knew it was a lie, and that's why she was in so much pain. When did that happen, you ask? Fucking yesterday, so don't come here and tell me she is dating some random guy she kissed at a party when she is clearly in love with you."

I don't know how to explain what that felt like. It was heartbreaking and, at the same time... encouraging?

- "She loves me?"- I asked Frank, still not fully understanding our conversation.

- "Doc, she fucking went behind your boss's back to stay with you in Las Vegas to help you figure out the case of a kid you thought your dad had killed. She fought Gideon when he told her she was a bad influence for you. She hates Lila Archer's movies because of you. I've seen her yell at the tv!"

- "What?"- that was too much information.

- "Just please, fix this shit and tell her you love her"

- "How?"- I honestly asked 'cos I didn't know how to do that. Frank frowned and finished his beer, leaving the bottle on the counter.

- "I don't know, man. Give her a romantic speech about what a big ass you've been all this time thinking she didn't feel the same, ask her to forgive you, and fucking kiss her!!"

- "Ok... how do I do that?"

- "I don't know, doc! You are the genius here!"

- "Actually, I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified... and I have no idea what to do..."

- "Yeah, clearly, this is not your forte. I'll give you that"- I shook my head as Frank stared at me, finally a smile curling on his lips.

- "You know everything she likes. There's no way you can go wrong. Just go to her house and tell her the words she wants to hear: I love you."

I nodded and tried to engrave those simple instructions in my head 'cos I knew I was going to ruin it: go there, say I love you. That was it. It was simple. I could do that. Right?

- "Do you need a ride?"- Frank asked and threw me my jacket.

- "Yes... I think I do."

- "Ok, doc, let's do this!"

(Y/N)'s point of view

I held my cup of tea with both hands and smiled, finally relaxing. That was just what I needed after a long miserable day. I sat on the couch, resting my feet on the table right in front of me, and sighed.

- "Sure, make yourself home."- Lu joked as she walked over with a bowl of popcorn and sat by my side.

- "Hey! I took off my shoes! I know you hate it when I leave footprints on your furniture."

- "How considered!!"- Lu joked as I grinned - "You should definitely come more often then."

- "I promise I will..."

- "And when are you gonna talk to the doc?"- I simply shrugged and focused on the tv in front of me.

- "(Y/N), you do realize you just spent two hours finally coming to your senses, right? I don't care if it's 'cos your boss is pushing you to do it. You have to tell Spencer you love him."

I pouted and groaned, but I knew she was right.

- "First, I have to cancel my date with James."

- "Yeah, do that now."

- "No, I don't wanna face reality today. I'll call him tomorrow around noon. I'm gonna tell him I'm on a case out of town, and I won't be able to make it for dinner."

- "Why don't you just tell him you are not interested 'cos you are in love with your best friend?"- I looked at Lu and widened my eyes- "Oh, come on!! We already passed the initial shock. We all knew you've been in love with Spencer for what seems to be ages!! I knew you loved him since you have him the scarf you knitted."

- "That was ages ago!"- I smiled and sighed- "He still wears it every winter"

- "Of course, he does, 'cos he loves you."

- "Do you really think he does?"

- "Are you serious? That man has been crazy for you since day one! He has been unconditional to you! You two can talk about your nerdy things for hours! Watching you is actually endearing. I had never seen two people just looking at each other with such love before! So please! Just do the right thing and tell him you love him."

I sighed and closed my eyes. I had concluded I had to tell Spencer I loved him because Hotch was right; it was affecting my work. I had to put an end to all that nonsense. Lu kept telling me Spencer would tell me he loved me too, but I was sure he wouldn't. Still, each time she tried to convince me, she made a point.

- "And he took you to Hawaii."

- "He didn't even touch me."

- "So? He hates the beach! The man hates the sun, the sand, and the seawater, and what did he do? He took you for ten days to a resort to the beach 'cos that's what you wanted."

- "His doctor told him the sea breeze was good for his lungs after the whole anthrax incident."

- "Anthrax, my ass! He wanted to make you happy, no matter if that meant being miserable for ten days. If that shit ain't love, then I have no idea what it is!!"

Lu was mad. She had cursed. I looked at her and just nodded.

- "And when you two have your first kid, I wanna be the godmother."

- "Lu, aren't you going a little fast?"

- "No. You two have been too slow with our confessions, so it's time someone speeds this up."

I drove back home around midnight. I was weary, and my body needed a good six hours of sleep after that miserable day. But I knew I wasn't going to get much rest. The idea of telling Spencer how I really felt was too scary, and I wasn't sure I would be able to go through with the plan. I didn't even have a plan. I just knew I had to do it before Hotch took the matter into his hands. Whatever that meant.

It was sad getting to my empty apartment. It felt cold and impersonal. I missed having Spencer around. We hadn't talked in a week, and I had never felt so alone in my entire life. If things didn't go well, I thought I could get a cat. I had always wanted one but never actually decided to take the big step and adopt one. I could go to the shelter and get a kitty.

I poured myself one last cup of tea and walked to my bedroom. Spencer's shirt I had worn as a pajama the night before was still on my bed, and I guessed there was no harm if I wore it again. I got under the covers and wrapped my own arms around my waist. I wondered if there would be a day when Spencer would cuddle me to sleep in our shared bed. Not like friends, like we had done so many times. It was embarrassing to think how many of those nights I had fallen asleep pretending Spencer was my boyfriend.

- "I am in love with you."- I whispered and sighed, closing my eyes.

What would Spencer do if I ever said those terrifying words out loud? I could almost see him freaking out in front of me. He wouldn't know what to do or what to say. If he didn't love me back, he would try to find the most careful way to reject me. He would reassure me he loved me, just not like that. But our friendship would be ruined anyway. I could never see him in the eyes after feeling his rejection. If he didn't love me, I was going to lose my best friend.

Sometimes, I felt Spencer was my soulmate. Lu was right; I had denied my feelings for too long. Had I wasted years of happiness with my honey bunny? Was it too late to tell him how I really felt?

I practiced my speech until two in the morning, rolling in my cold bed, alone, until I finally fell asleep. At seven am, I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I got ready for the day. That Friday was the day I was going to tell Spencer I loved him. I had to look my best. So I put on a lovely dress that always made me feel pretty, though I couldn't find my matching and favorite silk scarf. I did my hair nicely and put on a decent amount of makeup, primarily to hide the big dark rings under my eyes.

I stopped by Spencer's favorite coffee shop on my way to work and got him a cup of coffee and a box of donuts. I took a deep breath as I got out of my car and reminded myself I was doing the right thing. My plan was simple: I was going to give Spencer the coffee and the donuts as an apology for not talking to him in the lastest days. I was going to cancel my date with James, and I was going to ask Spencer out. Maybe like a date, and confess my true feelings for him.

But my plan was ruined before I even reached the main building. I walked through the parking lot and saw Spencer getting out of Ashley's car, holding a cup of coffee. They looked like the lovely young couple they were, after getting breakfast together... after spending the night together...

My broken heart kept breaking as I stared at the scene from a safe distance. I was right. I was too late to fight for Spencer. I had wasted all the chances I had ever had to be with him, and now I couldn't ruin his happiness. If he wanted to be with Ashley, I had to do the right thing and get out of his way.

I hurried up inside the main building and rushed into the elevator. I took deep breaths, trying to hold the tears inside. Whatever happened, I was not going to let Spencer see me cry. I grabbed the box of donuts and the coffee and hesitated when I reached the bullpen. Hotch was already in his office, talking with Rossi. I looked around, knowing Reid was about to get in there with Ashley, and I needed to hide from them.

- "I'm so glad you are here!!"- Penelope turned from her computer, surprised to see me rushing into her office.

- "Hey, munchkin!"

- "How is my favorite tech genius this morning? I got you breakfast!"- I could pretend to be hyper and happy, right?

- "And I love you so much!!"- Penelope smiled and grabbed the coffee- "Smells... delicious!"

- "Only the best for my dearest friend"- she looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Of course!! I had a good night of sleep, and tonight, if no fucking psycho killers ruin my day, I am going to have a date with a hot guy who is so into me. He already sent me an expensive present, which by no means makes me feel pressured, not even a little! No!"

I freaked out immediately, thinking I had a date with a guy I didn't even like.

- "Ok, baby, sit down"- Penelope tapped on the chair next to her and looked at me with worried eyes- "Are you getting cold feet about this date?"

- "I just... I don't know how I feel about that date. I was ready to cancel, and now... I think I just should go."

I definitely wasn't telling Garcia what had happened earlier; how I was going to tell Spencer I love him until I saw him in Ashley's car. Why? Well, first, I didn't want to cry at work. Second, she would say I had to tell Spencer how I felt. And third, she would tell Morgan.

Penelope sipped her coffee and frowned. Still, she didn't say a word. Instead, she looked right into my eyes and whispered.

- "If you don't wanna go out with him, you don't have to."

- "I know. I just wish I wanted to... do you know what I mean?"

- "I do... "- Garcia nodded and sighed- "Munchkin, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, really."

- "Thank you"- I rested my head on her shoulder and just sighed. We both stayed quiet for a moment until my dear friend questioned.

- "Why did you give me Spencer's coffee?"

- "Wh... what?"- I felt so caught I actually stuttered.

- "This is not almond milk. This is filled with dairy, both milk, and cream... and the amount of sugar in this is..."

- "Oh, please!! Can you just pretend I fooled you?!"- I was mortified- "It's fucking eight in the morning, and the day has already turned as awful as it could be."

- "Come on, baby"- Garcia tried to soothe me- "You know life can always get worse, so let's start by being honest. Why didn't you give Spencer the breakfast you got for him?"

- "For not being a profiler, you are creepy good reading people, you know?"

- "Yes, I am a genius. You should have noticed that earlier in life. That wasn't so bright from you, profiler,"- she teased, trying to make me laugh. And I actually chuckled.

- "Good, I got a smile. Now, tell me what happened."

- "But I don't wanna cry at work... and Hotch already called me out for being unprofessional about this whole Spencer's thing."

- "What? When?"

- "Yesterday, he said I have to tell Spencer what I actually feel for him, or he is gonna take matters into his hands."

- "What did he mean by that?"

- "I have no idea! But it sounded serious,"- I sighed, defeated, and sipped my coffee- "So after zero sleeping for days and a very awkward talk with our unit chief, plus the threats from one of my closest friends, I had decided to tell Spencer that I..."

I couldn't even say it

- "What I feel for him, today."

- "Today?! With this breakfast I am eating?"- and of course, PG freaked out.

- "Well, I was going to give him food as an offering for ignoring him this week... then I was going to ask him out tonight, and that's when I wanted to tell him... but..."

I paused and took a deep breath, doing my best not to cry. I really didn't want to show how hurt I was, though I was almost sure my dear friend Garcia could see it clearly in my eyes.

- "Just please, don't tell Morgan."

- "My adorable munchkin, I don't tell everything about you and our resident genius to Derek!"

- "Yeah, but... I just... feel so..."

- "Good morning, Garcia!"- I bit my lips as soon as I heard Ashley's voice storming into my friend's office- "I brought you coffee!"

Penelope held my hand and squeezed it as soon as she noticed my mood shift.

- "Hi!"- and my dear friend was so awkward it could have actually been fun if I wasn't so angry.

- "Oh, hi (Y/N), I didn't know you were here already..."

- "Yeah, we were having breakfast, actually,"- I pointed at our coffees and donuts, and Ashley nodded, blushing.

- "Sorry... I didn't know you were here... I didn't get you any..."

- "No, don't worry, Ashley. It's not like you know you I actually work here too,"- I wasn't even trying to be polite with her anymore. I hated her. Hotch was going to be so mad...

Seaver just stared at us and nodded in silence. Then, she turned around and left, closing the door behind her back. I groaned and nearly hit my head against the desk.

- "Wow, you are not even pretending for the cameras."

- "That was me trying not to kill her, actually. If she walked out on her own, then it was a very successful encounter."

- "What the hell, (Y/N)?"

- "I was gonna tell him, and then I saw him getting out of her car in the parking lot..."

- "Spencer Reid?!"- Penelope freaked out. I just nodded- "Dr. Spencer Reid?? The nerd in love with you? Getting out of her car?"

- "And carrying breakfast, like a lovely young couple. I bet they banged last night."

- "No way!"

- "Why not?!"

- "Because he loves you, and no one calls it "bang" anymore!" Where have you been?"

- "Penelope!"- my friend smiled at me and offered me a donut, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and resting her head against mine.

- "My dearest munchkin. Don't let this stop you. You were on a mission this morning."

- "They banged, fucked, had sex, call it what you want!! I am not telling Reid anything!! And I guess I'm going out with James tonight 'cos... if I don't, I'm gonna die alone, and my cat is gonna eat me!!"

I was nonsensical. I knew it. But there was nothing that could stop me from being absurd. I was scared and hurt. I actually thought I was going to go crazy.

I stayed with Penelope for a while, trying to cool my head. I didn't want to snap with Seaver again. I knew it had been a mistake. I saved Hotch a donut and asked him if I could work in JJ's old office. I told him I wanted to concentrate and that I really needed the time alone. Of course, he could see through my bullshit.

- "I told you, if you don't fix things with Reid, I am going to intervene."

- "I am going to do it, sir. Just... after I get all this paperwork done. I'll talk to him this weekend."- I looked into Hotch's eyes, trying my best to lie correctly. Do you have any idea what lying to the best profiler in the FBI felt like? It was mission impossible.

- "Good, (Y/N). I'm glad to know you've made the right decision."

- "Thank you, sir."

Spencer's point of view

After I got out of Frank's car, holding a bouquet of flowers, I forced him to help me get in our way over. It took me almost half an hour to walk from the sidewalk to the door of (Y/N)'s building.

- "I am in love with you,"- I whispered and shook my head, knowing she deserved better than that simple confession. I took the stairs, trying to improve my speech.

- "I have always been in love with you, from the minute I first saw you,"- I whispered and wiped off the sweat from my hands against the fabric of my jacket. It sounded terrible. I knew I was going to get it all wrong.

- "What am I doing?"- I stopped in my tracks before I reached her floor- I can't do this.

I literally froze and felt sick in my stomach. I couldn't do that. What was I doing? How had I let Frank talk to me into doing something so stupid? What was I getting into? I couldn't do it.

For a minute or so, I stood in the middle of the stairs, not able to move or formulate a single coherent thought. I was trying to

But if I didn't, and she loved me... I was going to lose everything I had ever dreamed of and that I never imagined I could have. No, I had to do it. I had to tell (Y/N) I loved her. And I had to do it that day. "Your head is spinning because it's full of ghosts," I remembered Julio's words and took a deep breath.

I ran the last steps of the stairs and reached her door, panting. But I didn't wait. I knocked on her door and waited.

- (Y/N), it's Spencer. Are you home?- but nothing. So I knocked again.

- Chipmonk, please open the door. I know I've been an asshole this whole week, but I need to talk to you. There is something you should know.

But nothing. Just silence. I knocked a few more times and patiently waited. No answer. I thought about it for a second and took the key she had given me years ago in case of any emergency. I had ended up using that key a million times, not really for many emergencies. I used it to prepare her surprise birthday party many times or come in when she knew I was coming. Or when I stayed over for the weekend, and it was my turn to pick up something from the store. So that day, I used it and opened her door.

Walking into (Y/N)'s apartment felt like walking into her arms. It smelled like her, and it felt like home. I took a look around, calling out her name. But she wasn't there.

Her place was kind of messy. There were many blankets on the couch and some clothes lying around. Man's clothes. For a moment, my heart sank. I thought maybe James was spending time there too. But soon, I realized...It was my clothes. I walked into her room and saw her unmade bed. My old red sweater was on her pillow, and some of the shirts she liked were close as well.

Why was she surrounded by my things? Did she... miss me that much? Could it be Frank was actually right? She loved me and missed me? I looked around and tried to find confirmation, though I felt overwhelmed by emotion at the moment.

(Y/N) loved me. There was a chance she actually loved me the way I did.

I fell on her bed and contained tears that almost started falling down my eyes. There might be a chance she loved me, and I refused to ruin it. She couldn't find me in her house out of the blue. She deserved better than that. She deserves the world. So I quickly collected all my things and walked to the door to think of a better way to confess my undying love. Undying, cheesy, and yet, honest.

But before I was out, I walked back to her room and opened her closet. If she had all my clothes to think of me, I wanted a souvenir too. My eyes traveled quickly through all the items hanging until her purple satin scarf caught my eye. I loved how she looked on it, and it smelled like her. I hid it in my pocket and walked out of her apartment.

Not even the tiny bouquet of flowers I had gotten her seemed to be enough. Frank said she'd love them, but... it just wasn't good enough for her.

I had a lot of planning to do. And I have no idea where to start. I had high standards to beat. After all, I had read all of the romantic books (Y/N) had in her house and seen all the romantic comedies she loved. All of those more than ten times. So... how was I going to do it? Was I going to pour my heart out to her in the most romantic way possible and finish with:

- "I am just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him,"- I said out loud as I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee.

No. That didn't feel right. It had to be better. Who was (Y/N)'s biggest love reference? Mr. Darcy. How had he done it? Well... he didn't do it right the first time, so he started making amends with a letter. I could begin with a letter. After all, I had written (Y/N) many love letters I had never given her in all those years. Letters that contained all my feelings for her as a way of letting it out of my chest. But they were never meant for her to see.

I sat at my desk and grabbed my favorite pen. But before I could actually start writing, I noticed I needed music, romantic music, for inspiration. I picked the same Amy Winehouse vinyl record I had been listening to for the last couple of days and walked back to my seat.

Writing a love letter wasn't easy. Putting facts into words, that's a task I can complete, no questions asked. But that Thursday night, I struggled with every sentence I created. I wasn't a writer and neither a man who had any kind of experience with love or being in love. Less with confessing such feelings. But I had to give my best.

Around one in the morning, I finished the third version of that letter. Frank had texted me to know if things had gone well, but I told him she wasn't home.

- "Don't worry, Paco,"- I said and smiled while holding her silk scarf- "Tomorrow is the day."

My wristwatch said four in the morning when I stopped painting and decided to get into bed. I had to get at least two hours of sleep. Not that (Y/N) had never seen my insomniac face before, but I needed to, at least try, to look presentable for her. After writing, my mind was flooded with emotion, and I couldn't stop thinking about everything we've been through all those years together. (Y/N) and I. we had been best friends for so long, yet, I could now see our friendship had always been a little different. We were closer... sidekicks... lovers without kissing. I needed to feel her hand in mine. Her arms around me. But it was only a few more hours.

Was she going to like me in the morning? I felt butterflies in my stomach just with the idea of confessing my feelings. I set everything ready and went to bed. I barely had the energy to put on my pajamas and turn off the lights. (Y/N)'s scarf wrapped softly on my wrist.

I frowned, baffled and lost, when I opened the door the following morning and found Ashley at the other side.

- "Can I talk to you for a moment?"- she whispered and handed me a fresh cup of coffee- "I brought you a peace offering for being so obnoxious the other day."

It was clear Ashley was honest, and she was embarrassed about her behavior. Otherwise, she wouldn't have shown up at my door. So I smiled and nodded, trying to show her I wasn't mad at her.

- "Water under the bridge"- I whispered and held the coffee she gave me. No milk, no cream, no sugar. Just like (Y/N) liked it. Ashley noticed how I prepared coffee at the BAU but never realized I wasn't making myself a cup. I was making (Y/N)'s.

- "I am very embarrassed... and I really like working with you... regardless of everything I said. I don't..."

- "We can pretend that never happened,"- I interrupted her, and she just smiled and nodded.

- "I would like that. I am sorry I was rude... Do you want a ride to work? We are a little late."

I thought about it for a second. I wanted to stop by and get (Y/N) more flowers, but we were late, and I wasn't planning on telling her how I felt until later that night.

- "Sure, let's go."

(Y/N) was nowhere to be found that day, and that immediately got me on my nerves. Her things were on her desk, but she wasn't there.

- "Hey García, have you seen (Y/N)?"- I walked in and watched her stay still, shocked.

- "Hello there, Dr. Reid. How are you today? Nice to see you too."

- "Sorry!"- I cut her an awkward smile and waved- "Hi! How are you?"

- "The damage is already done, Dr. Reid. Clearly, you are not here looking for my companionship."

- "Sorry, I just haven't seen (Y/N) today. You?"

- "Yes, my pretty chipmunk was here earlier, and that's all I know. Why?"- Garcia raised an eyebrow and looked into my eyes- "Why are you so interested in her?"

I didn't know if it was because I had spent most of the night planning to confess (Y/N) my feelings, but Penelope's question sounded suspicious. I tried to act normal and just frowned.

- "I just wanted to know if she was here 'cos I haven't seen her around."

- "She had work to do, and I think she had a meeting with Hotch."

- "Again?!"- I couldn't help but raise my voice, scared of the idea of (Y/N) being scolded by Hotch for two days in a row.

- "But she had a meeting with him yesterday!"- I argued, but Garcia just shrugged.

- "That's all I know. Also, she brought donuts"- I stared at her dish. Chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles. My favorites.

- "Do you know if she... got one of those for me?"

- "I don't know, why don't you ask her?"- Garcia questioned back and raised an eyebrow

- "I would, but I don't know where she is."

- "Besides... didn't you have breakfast already?"

- "There's always room for a donut... for my favorite donut."

Penelope raised an eyebrow, trying to read beyond my words. Was I just talking about donuts, or was I talking about (Y/N)? Did she actually mean breakfast? Of course, she did. Garcia wasn't implying anything else! I was just overthinking everything!

Right?

- "I'll see if she is still with Hotch."

- "Hey, Reid"- Penelope called out my name when I was about to reach the door- "When you see her, you should tell her it's her breakfast you are interested in. No other."

I stared at Garcia and opened my mouth. But no word came from it. I just know I blushed and nodded, leaving her office soon after.

But I didn't find (Y/N) during that whole day. And it was both frustrating and nerve-wracking. The letter I wrote her kept burning me, as I felt it in my jacket's pocket, beating like a second heart. I wasted a whole paperwork day trying to concentrate, but I couldn't. I managed to get the least work done in years, 'cos my mind focused on her. On (Y/N). In her absence.

By the end of the day, I had lost all hope of finding her around and did what all desperate men would do. I waited by her car in the parking lot.

Around six-thirty, I heard her shoes approaching the vehicle, and my heart stopped when I saw her eyes in mind, nearly shocked to find me there.

- "Hi"- that was all I managed to say. My voice was a whisper that even I barely heard.

- "What are you doing here?"

- "I was waiting for you. I thought it was obvious."

I smiled and tried to ease her mood. But it didn't work. She looked so mad at me, though those few words were the longest conversation we had shared in over a week. Why was she mad at me? Was it too cheesy to tell her she looked adorable when she was mad? Of course, it was. I still took a mental note to tell her that later on. Maybe later that same evening if things went well.

- "Why?"- (Y/N) frowned and opened her car, and threw her purse in the back seat.

- "I wanted to talk to you."

- "I can't, Spencer. I am late,"- she called me by my name, and that reality check hurt me.

- "Late for your date with James?"

- "I don't feel like talking about that with you. Goodbye, Spencer."

- "Wait. (Y/N), stop."- I held her arm and felt her whole body shiver under my touch. I would have held her longer, but she pulled her arm from my grip and frowned- "Why are you so mad at me?"

- "Mad? I am not mad!"- I know she was a good liar, but she was so mad her whole body language gave it away, along with her high-pitched voice.

- "I think you are... Why?"- I tried to move closer, but she crossed her arms on her chest and stood next to the opened passenger door. Ready to escape.

- "I am just in a hurry, Spencer. That's it."

There it was, the confirmation of her anger. My name, leaving her lips with fury. I wanted to hold her. I needed to feel her close, with a desperation I had never experienced before. I was craving for her. And there she was, right in front of me, refusing to even look at me.

- "Can you just... give me a chance to talk to you?"- my words came as a whisper, almost as a beg.

- "Isn't someone else waiting for you?"

- "Me? No. No one,"- I answered, confused by what she was implying- "I just need to talk to you. Please."

- "Sorry, I'm late. But... maybe..."- (Y/N) hesitated and looked at someone else walking close to us. I didn't even bother. I couldn't take my eyes off her.

- "Would you... would you take this?"- I held the letter and gave it to her. She hesitated before taking it, and my heart nearly burst at the thought of her holding my love confession in her hands.

- "What's this?"

- "Can you read it?"- but it only lasted for a second. (Y/N) shook her head and gave me back my letter.

- "Not now, I'm late."

- "(Y/N), please."

- "No, Reid. I can't read this now. I am late."

- "Please, (Y/N). I need to tell you something."

- "And I need to leave. So, bye."

(Y/N) slipped through my fingers like water. I stayed still, staring at her as she disappeared, and cursed myself under my breath for being so petrified to act. I wanted to cry. I was so frustrated with myself.

- "I love you. I don't want you to go out with him. You should be with me."

It was liberating to say those words out loud even though she wasn't there to listen.

- "Nice kid. Now next time, say it when she can hear you."

I recognized Morgan's voice behind me. And I guess I could have felt embarrassed if I wasn't so frustrated already. And most of all, so mad at myself. I had practiced. I had tried. I knew what I had to say. But when I was with her, I just couldn't. And now he was out there on her way to date another man.

I felt Derek's hand on my shoulder, tapping on it a few times. I sighed and nodded.

- "Come on. First-round is on me."

It only took Morgan two rounds to get me talking. To be fair, I wanted to speak. He had already heard what I wanted (Y/N) to know.

- "I just wanna tell her I love her. I need to tell her what I feel for her 'cos now I can see there might be a chance she loves me too."

- "Might be a chance?"- Morgan frowned and shook his head- "Kid, that woman is head over feet in love with you. And she has been for years. I just can't believe you've wasted all these years!!"

- "I can't believe I am sitting here with you when she is out there on a date with some other man!!"- I nearly yelled and drank what was left of my third whisky, immediately raising my hand, asking for another round. Derek raised an eyebrow as he stared at me, and somehow it felt like he was mad at me for something.

- "Kid. You know I love you, but you've been so fucking stupid and blind it's been painful for us to watch! You've had so many chances to be with her! She has been crazy in love with you ever since she was dating that other guy!!"

- "Paul? That was ages ago!"- I said ages to sound less obsessive, but I knew exactly how long it had been since they had broken up. It was also the amount of time I had spent without using Dilaudid.

- "Well, she loved you even back there! I bet you are the reason they broke up!"

- "No, I wasn't"- I sighed, thinking I wished I was, but I knew (Y/N) had broken up with him 'cos she didn't love him.

- "Why are you so sure?"

- "She told me"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at me so severely- "What?"

- "Back then, that girl got into trouble for arguing with Lila Archer. Remember?"

- "Eidetic memory, Morgan. Of course, I remember."

- "Sorry, genius"- the waitress arrived with our fourth round, and my body felt way more relaxed by them. Also, my tongue started to slur as I spoke.

- "My pretty pumpkin actually called Lila, and I quote: "annoying, always ignoring our orders, keeping herself in danger, not helping, being a squeamish little princess who is used to do whatever the fuck she wants, and who didn't care to put people around her in danger."- I chuckled remembering that conversation- "And then she joked saying "Of course you were oblivious to all this 'cos you couldn't stop staring at her."

- "Ok, Reid, that's what girls say when they are jealous! And she was clearly jealous of Lila! When she saw you two in that pool? I thought (Y/N) was gonna kill her! I swear I was waiting for her to jump into the pool and end with her!"- Morgan laughed, picturing the scene in his mind. I sipped my whisky, not quite sure he was into something there.

- "I really think she didn't like her 'cos she found her annoying. (Y/N) finds most people annoying."

- "And not you. What does that tell us?"

- "That I am not annoying"- Morgan looked at me and opened his mouth to say something but stayed quiet. And instead, he just chuckled.

- "What about that waitress?"

- "Who?"

- "The one you picked up in the bar with a magic trick?"

- "I didn't pick on her!! I was doing my work and..."

- "And you got her phone number, and she sent you that card with a kiss..."- Morgan stared at me, waiting for a reaction- "Ok, in case you didn't notice, (Y/N) was jealous of her too."

- "She was mad 'cos she said I was unprofessional."

- "Ok, fine, whatever. And now, what's the plan, casanova? When are you telling her you love her?"

- "Now, tonight, after this drink,"- and I hurried to drink it faster.

- "What?"

- "I've got a love letter like Darcy gave to Lizzy."

- "Who the fuck are those?"

- "Her favorite characters from her favorite book"- I explained, annoyed, and drunk- "They were in love but never acted on it 'cos they were both proud and held severe prejudices against each other. So when he told her he loved her, it was a mess. Then, he wrote her a letter trying to explain to her why he had been nonsensical. Then she read it and realized she loved him, but thought it was too late, so both of them acted like nothing was going on until they realized they had been fools, and Darcy confessed his love, and she told him she loved him too..."

There was a blank stare in Morgan's eyes when I was done speaking.

- "How many times have you read that?"

- "Today? Eleven"

The way Morgan wide opened his eyes, shocked, made me think maybe I had overreacted with how many times I read Pride and Prejudice. But he didn't say anything, just nodded.

- "Ok, kid, you can't talk to her today."

- "Why now? I was actually going to drop by her apartment and read the letter."

- "Spencer, you are drunk."

- "I am not!"- I was, in fact, intoxicated.

- "Prove it!"- Derek dared me, chuckling

- "How? Want me to walk on a line and touch my nose with my fingers?"

- "Go talk to those girls over there"- he pointed at a bunch of women who kept flirting with him from a distance at the bar counter.

- "Why would I do that? I am in love! I just told you I am about to confess my true feelings to the one woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I swear, Morgan, if she says she loves me, I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

- "What?!"- my friend nearly choked with his drink.

- "Yeah! I've wasted too much time! I wanna marry that woman! In fact! I'm gonna tell her that right now!"- I stood up too quickly, and the whole room started spinning. Morgan grabbed my arm and forced me to sit down again.

- "Hold on, Reid! You need a round of water before we leave this bar."

- "No, Derek, you don't get it. I finally see everything clear now!! It's all clear!! I've loved her for so long... and maybe Frank is right, maybe she has loved me all along."

- "Dude, that's literally what I've been telling you for the last hour!!"- Morgan nearly yelled, frustrated.

- "Yeah, but Frank has been her best friend since they were four! Can you imagine? Little (Y/N) at four, playing... our kid would be so cute if they are like her."

- "Ok, Reid, you are creeping me out"

- "Why?"- I couldn't understand why Morgan was so shocked. I thought he wanted to know how I felt.

- "For the last five years, you've been in love with her, and you've denied it over and over again. And now suddenly, you get drunk and spill your heart open."

- "I just... I don't want these ghosts haunting me anymore. Julio was right!"

- "You lost me, man"

- "Our last case in Miami. My head was killing me, and Julio knew it. He said it was this job and everything I was bottling up that was driving me insane. Now I can see it clearly! I have to tell (Y/N) how I feel for her! That woman is the love of my life! She saved my life!!"

- "Calm down, Spencer."

- "Calm down?? She is out there with that guy!! What if they kiss again? What if they fuck?! No way! We have to stop her. I have to stop her!!"

I don't know how I got out of that chair and stormed out of the bar.

- "Reid! Wait!"

(Y/N)'s point of view

James was hot. Yes, that's true. I can't deny what's real. I saw him talking at the other side of the table, being charming, being fucking perfect. And there I was, not feeling anything. Nothing. Good old (Y/N) a few years ago would have been crazy for that guy. Before I met Spencer. But after Spencer.... There was nothing after him. And I could see it. I could feel it inside of me. How he had ruined me without even touching me. Does that make any kind of sense?

- "So, what do you do when you are not fighting crime?"- James asked me with the most charming smile. I just sighed and tried to look interested. I honestly wanted to try. But I soon realized everything I could answer included Spencer.

- "I am a big nerd, so I'm getting ready to go to Comicon this year."

- "In costume?!"- he widened his eyes and smiled, excited

- "Yes, of course. In costume is the only way to go to Comicon,"- in costume with Reid...

- "And which is your costume this year?"

- "Slave Leia"- James smiled mischievously and ran his tongue through his lips.

- "I won't miss this Comicon."

- "I also like hanging out with my friends. I usually host dinner parties 'cos I love cooking,"- with Spencer...

- "That's awesome, 'cos I love eating. Are you into board games?"

- "Yeah! Love them! We usually play a lot."

We. Spencer, and I.

I was doomed. I was never going to love anyone else. Spencer was overshadowing everything I might like about James. What did I actually like about James? That he was interested in me. Was Spencer interested in me? Lu said so. Garia said so. Emily said so. But I didn't. Why? Why couldn't I believe Spencer might love me? Was I terrified to lose him as a friend, or was I petrified to lose myself in him? Was I scared to be loved by him? To be happy? To have someone to love me, want me, and make me happy?

Was I scared of being loved by Reid? Of being happy with him? 'Cos each time I thought about it, it didn't feel like Spencer was just a guy I had a crush on or a guy I had fallen for. It felt like he was the love of my life, my happy ending. My forever after. And that scared the shit out of me. I've always been scared I would ruin the love of my life like my parents had destroyed their happiness. I knew the job was going to get in the middle. And I was already in love with my job.

Well... so was Reid.

In fact, we shared that love. We did everything together, including working. And god, I loved being in the field with him. I hated the fear of losing him I often felt whenever we were together, but the thrill of catching an unsub with Reid, of saving lives together. Nothing could ever compare to that. Well, maybe sex with Spencer, but I didn't know it for a fact. I wished I knew...

- "(Y/N)?"- James was looking at me, waiting for an answer. But I never got the questions. I was just lost in the thought of Spencer.

- "Sorry, you were saying?"

- "I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere else... Maybe you could show me your record collection."

Dinner was over. We had our dessert and coffee. A part of me felt I had to say yes, 'cos I felt pushed to like him. But I just couldn't force it. I knew it was meant to turn out badly.

- "Actually, I'm tired... I'm sorry. It was a long week and included a trip to Miami to catch a lunatic..."

- "Of course, not a problem. I'll take you home."

The drive back to my apartment was mostly silent. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't really comfortable either. It was just me feeling Spencer's absence. And it hurt in ways I hadn't realized just yet. It made me wonder if my life without him was destined to be like that.

- "I had a great time tonight,"- I said when James parked outside my building.

- "Me too..."- he turned to me and cut me a big smile, as his eyes locked with mine. I could see him leaning in, and my whole body refused to kiss him. So I opened my door and nearly jumped out of his car.

- "Ok, it's getting late."

- "I'll walk you to your door."

- "No, you don't have to."- but James was already by my side, holding my hand (something I absolutely hated) and walking with me to my building.

- "I have to tell you, (Y/N). I was hoping to meet you at Anderson's party."

Oh shit, I didn't really want to go through that conversation with him. I thought I could just ghost out of that dinner, but James wasn't making things easy. So I opened my building's door, and he followed me in. Shit.

- "I don't know if he told you anything but... I just had the biggest crush on..."

- "James, you don't have to..."

- "But I want to. I just feel like we could go somewhere. I know it's only our first date, but I think you are the most incredible woman I've ever met. And I would be ecstatic if you would want to go out with me again."

I sighed and turned to him. We were standing by my door, and I could feel he wanted to kiss me goodnight.

- "James. I feel flattered, but... I can't do this."

- "What? Why?"

- "Because I am in love with someone else... I've been in love for a while now, but I never thought I might have to actually act on it until now..."

James stared into my eyes, confused, hurt, and... sad. I nodded and did the kindest thing I could under the circumstances and hugged him.

- "I am sorry. You are a fantastic guy, and I'm sure if I wasn't in love already, this would have worked, but..."

- "It's ok, (Y/N). Really. You don't have to apologize. I was just one date, no harm done."- my date kissed my cheek and smiled- "Besides, I got to meet my favorite profiler."

- "Prentiss?"- I joked, and he chuckled.

- "And what are you gonna do about this mystery guy?"

- "I don't know. I don't think he feels the same... but I think I have to tell him, or I'll go crazy."

- "He would be crazy if he rejects you,"- James whispered and smiled- "Good night, crime fighter."

I closed the door behind my back and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I felt bad for James. But I couldn't take care of his feelings when I had been neglecting mine for so long.

What was I supposed to do? I was so tired of overthinking everything. Of being afraid. I put the kettle on to make myself a cup of tea and laid on my couch for a minute. It smelled like Spencer. There was one of his sweaters there. I quickly grabbed it and buried my face in it, pretending it was his neck, and I could even land butterfly kisses on his skin.

I couldn't run from it anymore. I was going to tell Spencer Walter Reid what I felt for him. And I was going to do it the following day. How? With my original plan: I was going to bring his favorite breakfast to his house. I was going to apologize for being a jerk, and I was going to invite him over for dinner. I was going to cook his favorite. Then I was slowly and carefully going to handpick the right words to tell him I am desperately in love with him.

That sounded like a good plan. My phone rang, forcing me to roll on that couch, but I carried Spencer's sweater with me. It was Penelope.

- "Please don't tell me we've got a case."

- "No, munchkin. I just wanted to check on you. What happened to James?"

- "I blew him off- I stood up and walked to the kitchen to make my cup of tea- "It was kind of painful."

- "I'm glad you did anyway. You have to do the right thing."

- "Yeah, I guess,"- I closed the widow 'cos there was a lot of yelling coming from the street.

- "Where are you?- Penelope asked, probably hearing it too.

- "At home, getting ready for bed."

- "What's that noise?"

- "I don't know. I think there's a fight downstairs. Anyway, tomorrow I'm gonna talk with Spencer and tell him everything."

- "Please let me know how that goes!!"- I chuckled as I heard the genuine excitement in her voice.

- "I promise I will. Thank you for checking on me."

- "Anytime, munchkin. Sleep tight."

Spencer's point of view

- "Oh shit! Oh shit!"

I saw (Y/N) getting out of James's car, and Derek had to hold me on my seat to stop me from running over. We were parked outside of her building, and Morgan was still trying to convince me to go home. I told him I would behave and peacefully go home if I saw (Y/N) reaching her home safe and sound... without James.

But no. He was there. I could see him walking with her, hand in hand, to her building.

- "Maybe he is just going to take her to her door,"- Morgan said, trying to calm me down. I clenched my fist and waited in silence for a few seconds. But James didn't leave her at her door. He followed her inside. And that was when I lost it and literally jumped off the car.

- "Reid!! No!! Wait!!"- Derek ran behind me and grabbed my arm. A car passed and honked at us, 'cos it almost ran me over. I wanted to yell, "Fuck you!" but I barely noticed it. My eyes were locked at that building's door.

- "Dude! Come on, get back in the car!"- Derek tried to calm me down.

- "No!"- I argued and kept pulling my arm, trying to get free of his hands. But he wasn't letting me go.

- "You are drunk! You are not thinking straight! Come on!!"

- "No! Let me go! I need to talk to her!

- "What you wanna tell her, you should confess sober, with flowers... and chocolates, or whatever she likes."

- "I can't wait anymore!! I can't wait until it's perfect!! He is going to kiss her again and... and I can't deal with that!!"- I managed to get loose of Derek's hand and ran to (Y/N)'s building the second James walked out of it.

My blood boiled as soon as I saw him, and my first instinct was to punch him, But I managed to suppress it. Instead, I just looked at him threateningly. Or at least that's what I tried to do.

- "What's your problem, dude?"- James frowned as he noticed me staring.

- "You are my problem, dude,"- I answered with a snarky tone as that asshole took a step closer and shook his head.

- "What the fuck?!"

- "Stay the fuck away from (Y/N), James,"- I said, and he widened his eyes, surprised I knew him.

- "Who the hell are you?!"

- "I am the love of her life, and you are in the way of our forever after."

- "Kid, come on"- Derek tried to pull me away, but he was just embarrassing me.

- "Yes, kid. Go with your buddy. Leave (Y/N) to me."

James chuckled and turned around. And I don't know what took over me, but I couldn't control it. I ran to him and pulled his shoulder. I felt the pain of my fist hitting his face, but I didn't care if my knuckles were on fire. All I could feel was the profound pleasure of finally breaking that guy's nose with my own hands.

- "What the fuck?!"- Derek was in shock, and honestly, so was I. I didn't know I had that in me. I had never gotten in a fight that wasn't with an unsub. And still, on the field, I always tried to talk my way out of every conflict.

- "He has to back off! He is getting in the middle of my relationship with my pumpkin!!"- I argued and looked at my hand, knowing it would be sore in the morning. That was when James's fist collided against my jaw, and I felt how my whole body nearly spun like a cartoon with the strength of the blow.

- "Hey! Hey! Stop!"- Derek pulled James away from me as I touched my face, trying to put two and two together.

- "Tell your friend to stay away from me, or I'm gonna break his face!!"

- "You and which army?!"- I yelled and tried to punch him again, but Morgan stayed between us, trying to keep us apart.

- "Ok, ok, calm down, we are leaving! Reid! Come on!!"

- "No!! I am not leaving until I am sure that he is going to stay away from her!!"

- "Stay away from (Y/N)? Deal! Now get the fuck away from me!"- James shoved me on his way to his car, and I nearly hit him again. But Derek stopped me. He grabbed my arms and pushed me to his car.

- "Enough! I'll take you home."

***

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405 @eyakoroleva @nani-2305

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: July 7th, 2021