#That means nobody is going to be happy either

[banjopolishh]

Tear you apart

cw: NSFW!!!! LIKE ALL NSFW. was originally called athoth a go!! go!! but this seemed better :-)

———-

Ford had been wanting to talk to his lover about the topic of sex, as they’d been dating for quite some time. He was terrified to bring it up, but he wanted to know how the Tennessean felt about it.

Today was the day Stanford was going to ask; he had candles lit all around the dorm, little flowers decorated the floor, the latest Beatles album, Abbey Road, playing softly in the background.

He purchased it a few days ago after it came out, as a little gift.

All of a sudden; Fiddleford came into the dorm room, quickly closing the door behind him.

“Hey, hun! I’m ba-“ Fiddleford fell silent as he stared at their transformed space, eyes widening.It was like walking into an enchanted forest.

“Stanford! Did you do all this!?” Fidds eyes darted around the room; taking notice of everything Ford had put together. This was all for him? He was stunned.

“Welcome back, darling.” Ford smiled, making his way over to the other man. He grabbed him gently by the waist and planted a kiss on his lips. Showing Fidds how much he loved him, was a top priority for the young scientist.

"What's the occasion, my love?" Fidds beamed, returning the kiss with a sigh of contentment. Their dorm had never looked so beautiful; typically, it reeked of weed and was littered with papers on the floor. But today, it smelled of incense and was beautifully organized.

“Come with me,” Ford spoke softly, grabbing Fidds hand, he led him over to their shared bed, both sitting down on the edge of it. Ford took a deep breath, tightening his grip around Fiddleford’s hand.

“I want to ask you something, okay? If you’re uncomfortable with any of it, let me know. We’ve been going out for some time, and, I’ve been.. thinking about things. I want to have intercourse with you.” Ford sighed, his face redder than a tomato. Was he saying this right?

“You want to have sex with me? Really?” Fiddleford gasped, he had fantasized about it for a lonnnng time, and now, Ford was finally asking.

"I have for a long time," Ford replied, his heart racing. He couldn't predict Fidds' response, but he knew one thing for sure - he loved him and would be happy no matter what."

“Of course, I do. I’ve been wantin’ the same! Just.. haven’t been able to find the words.” They laughed, obviously nervous. Ford let out a huge sigh of relief, he wasn’t the only one who was thinking about intimacy.

“Really?!I was actually afraid you would refuse. But of course, that would have been alright too! Oh no, I feel like such an idiot now.” The brunette with dark hair instinctively covered his face with his hands, feeling mortified by his own words.

“I know what ya mean, sugar! Don’t be embarrassed, I don’t know how to go about this, either. It’ll be my first time.” Fidds put his hand on Ford's shoulder, reassuring him with small gentle rubs.

“I have another question, this one slightly more embarrassing.” Ford mentally prepared himself for this one, expecting Fiddleford to be uncomfortable.

“Go on, hun.”

“Would you be alright with me filming? For learning purposes? I want to be able to keep track of everything that feels good for you.” Wow. Fiddleford was blown away, Stanford cared so much about his pleasure and comfort. Nobody else had ever treated him with such love and kindness.

“That would be swell, my love. I will admit, I’m nervous. Will ya promise to be gentle?” Fidds cupped his dearest’s face, looking deep into his eyes, he trusted Ford more than he even trusted himself.

“I promise to be gentle, Fiddlesticks. Wouldn’t want to break you in two, hm?” Ford smirked, kissing his boyfriend with passion. He had begun moving his hands up Fiddleford’s shirt, playfully caressing his sensitive sides.

“Would you mind if I grabbed the camera, darling? I’d like to get it set up before we get too excited.” Ford smiled and got up off the bed, rushing over to the closet, and grabbing a Sony Camcorder. He set the tripod up next to their bed, aiming it so each part of their bodies could be seen. Stanford turned it on, checking it closely to make sure the quality was good. Once it began filming, he made his way over to the bed once more.

“You’re for certain you’re okay with this, my star?” He climbed onto the mattress and nibbled at Fidds neck.

“You’re the only person I’ll ever be certain with, Stanford. Please don’t ever forget that.” The southerner moaned softly at the feeling of Ford’s teeth grazing against his neck.

Ford groaned at the sight of his lover, he needed him. He was going to take him, right there. He nestled his face into Fidds neck.

“May I remove your clothes, sweetheart?” The scientist whispered into the mechanic's ear, moving his hand slowly down Fidds small frame.

“Yes, please. I’m starting to get.. well,” The men looked down at Fiddleford’s lower half, he was fully erect.

“Jesus Christ, darling. You’re very excited, aren’t you?” Ford teased, hovering over Fidds and beginning to unbutton his shirt. Ford was doing his best to play cool, but internally he was freaking out.

“Always for you, sir,” Fidds flirted back, mustering up a small ounce of courage. Stanford's response only made him bolder as he yanked at Fiddleford's shirt, leaving a trail of purple and red marks on his bare chest.

“Oh, fuck, Stanford..” Fidds reached down to take off his pants but Ford pinned his hand back down onto the bed.

“Don’t,” Stanford breathed, trailing kisses along his lover's body until he reached Fiddleford's throbbing cock. He looked up at Fidds with a smirk as he unzipped his pants, ready to be enveloped in his boyfriend’s scent.

“Wowwww, look how big you’ve gotten for me, sweetheart. You’re so handsome.” Fiddleford hid his face with his hands, embarrassed by Ford’s praise. Stanford pulled down Fidds pants, then his boxers. Fiddleford moaned at the feeling of the cold dorm air blowing against his tip.

“Fuck, Ford, please touch me...oh, please touch me" Fiddleford moaned, thrusting his hips upwards, feeling his partner's hot breath against his skin. Fiddleford's constant moaning was driving Stanford insane. With a firm grip, Ford slowly moved his hand up and down the disheveled man's shaft, maintaining a steady pace.

“How’s this, baby? Look at the camera, show it how good I make you feel.” Stanford chuckled, watching as Fidds reluctantly turned his head, his eyes making contact with the machine. The idea of Ford watching the recording of their intimacy sent a shiver down his back.

“You’re so beautiful, Fiddleford. I cant wait to ruin you.” Suddenly, Ford took Fidds’ cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip.

“OH! Shhhhhiiit.. Oh, lord.” Fiddleford began bucking his hips into the six fingered man’s mouth, waves of pleasure hitting him. Ford watched as his lover’s eyes began to roll back. He laughed as his darling man, turned into a brainless doll before his eyes.

“Doing so good for me, Fidds. God..your dick is so cute. I’m shocked nobody’s tried to claim you in the past.” All Fiddleford could do is thrust into Ford’s hands. He couldn’t form a single word.

“Fuck, Fidds, I can’t take it anymore.” Stanford moved his hand away from Fiddleford’s cock, earning a whine of disapproval from him.

“Wha-What’re ya doin’?” Fiddleford watched with lustful eyes as Ford removed his own clothes. Ford, seemingly experienced, had NEVER had sex before. He was simply winging it.

“I’m sorry, Fidds. I just, I really need you.” Stanford crawled onto the desperate man’s body, grabbing Fidds’ face, forcing him to look into his eyes. Fiddleford shivered before Stanford pulled him roughly into a kiss.

“Ah.." The kiss soon became messy, their tongues finding their way into the others mouth. Soft grunts and moans filling the room.

Fiddleford's hands roamed over Stanford's broad shoulders and down his muscular back, reveling in the feeling of skin on skin. Their kisses grew more passionate and urgent as Stanford ground his hips against Fiddleford's, their erections rubbing together.

"Oh Lord, Stanford," Fiddleford gasped, breaking away from the kiss. "I need you so bad, darlin'. Please..."

Stanford nodded, his eyes half lidded with desire. "I've got you, sweetheart. Just relax for me."

He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a small bottle of lube, coating his fingers generously. With gentle touches, he began to open Fiddleford up, watching his lover's face carefully for any signs of discomfort.

Fiddleford tensed at first at the unfamiliar sensation, but soon he was grinding gently against Ford’s fingers with pleasure. He had never felt something so strange - and so good - in his life.

“Look at how good you’re doing.” Stanford murmured softly. “So, So good..”

Ford carefully added another finger scissoring them gently, stretching Fidds further. The southerner softly moaned, his hands gripping the sheets.

“Ford, please,” Fiddleford whimpered, his accent becoming thicker with arousal. “Please, fuck me.”

Ford’s breath hitched at the desperation in his companions voice. He took his fingers out slowly, causing Fidds to whine at the loss. Stanford gave him a peck on the lips before grabbing some lube from the nightstand, slicking himself up.

“Are you sure, honey? You can always tell me if-”

Fiddleford quickly interrupted; “Stanford, I’m beggin’ ya, PLEASE fuck m-”

Slowly, carefully, Ford began to push in. His eyes darted all over Fidds’face, looking for any sign of discomfort. But Fiddleford just moaned, eyes fluttering shut as Ford filled him.

"Oh, darlin'..." Fiddleford gasped, his fingers digging into Ford's shoulders. The feeling of Ford inside him was overwhelming, a deep stretch that made his toes curl.

Ford groaned, the tightness around his dick was almost too much to bear. He stopped, giving Fiddleford time to adjust to his length. "You okay, sweetheart?" he whispered, pressing soft kisses to Fidds' face.

Fiddleford nodded, his breathing heavy. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Please move, Stanford. I need you."

With a low growl, Ford began to thrust, slowly at first. He watched Fiddleford's face intently, drinking in every gasp and moan. The southerner's eyes were half-lidded, mouth hanging open in pleasure.

"You're so beautiful like this," Ford murmured, picking up the pace, groaning as he felt Fidds’ walls tighten around him. Jacking off never felt as good as his lovers’ insides.

Stanford's thrusts became more forceful, going deeper into Fiddleford with each motion. The room filled with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, followed by their shared moans and gasps.

"Oh god, Ford!" Fiddleford cried out, his back arching off the bed. "Right there, please don't stop!"

Ford angled his hips, hitting that spot inside Fiddleford over and over. He could feel himself getting close, the tight heat of Fidds' body overwhelming his senses.

"Fidds, I'm not gonna last much longer," Ford panted, his rhythm becoming erratic. He reached between their bodies to stroke Fiddleford's neglected cock.

The dual stimulation was too much for Fiddleford. With a strangled cry, he came, spilling over Ford's hand and onto his tummy."OH! Ohmystarsohmystarsohmy-” The sight of Fiddleford’s release caused Stanford to reach his own climax.

“Fidds! I’m coming, i’m coming inside..FUCK!” Ford wrapped Fidds’ legs around himself, making sure his seed reached deep.

Fidds’ legs shook as Ford came inside, he felt every single drop reach his center. He felt full.

Deep breaths replaced the moans; Ford pulled out slowly, watching closely as the cum slowly poured out of Fiddleford’s hole.

“W-Wow..That was..Wow.” He sighed, not even the most beautiful meteor shower could top this.

Ford cupped Fidds’ face, looking at his pink dusted cheeks. He looked so cute, so soft and tired.

“How’re you doing, sweetie? Feeling okay? Youre not in any pain are you?” A small bit of worry plagued his mind briefly, until Fiddleford silently wrapped himself around Ford.

“That was so amazing, that was so fuckin’ amazing..God, I’m so exhausted now..thank you for being gentle with me, hun.. you made me feel safe.” Fidds curled up on Stanford’s chest, reveling in the afterglow of intimacy.

“You did so good, honey! I’m very impressed with you. You felt absolutely incredible around me, I couldn’t help but give you my cum.” Ford smiled and planted a kiss onto his head.

“You.. are ya sure that was your first time? I felt like you were way more experienced than I am..” Fidds inquired looking at his boyfriend intently.

“I have never. I did.. quite a bit of research though. I’ve been looking at different techniques for gay couples, there’s.. a lot I had to learn.. but, it was worth it for you.”

“You made my first time so special, honey.. Did you have fun, too?” Stanford nodded and ran his hands through Fiddleford’s hair.

“I had so much fun watching you squirm beneath me, you were a sight to behold.” Fiddleford chuckled and pulled the blankets up over them, covering their naked bodies.

“I love you, Stanford.”

“I love you, Fidds.”

…..

“Is the camera still on?”

“Oh, shit!”

————

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHB BLOWS UP

this took me for fucking ever oh my fod oh mygod

enjoy you FREAKS!!!

[boomboom-tanjiro2019]

Easy

PT. 1 EX! READER X EX! ACE

Description: Angst but also ridiculous-extra stupid-shit. Reader does some wrong but so will Ace. HAPPY ENDING (No one dies and everyone gets what they need in the end) MODERN AU!!

WORD COUNT: 3680

Prologue

“And you are sure you are getting the promotion today?” Nami raised an eyebrow over to you. 

You roll your eyes, “Psh… Nami, you realize who I am right? Cecil adores me, and we already know she’s going to retire. I think she’s calling me in the office because she’s retiring even earlier than accepted, I mean, she’s old as shit.”

“Ugh… she lectured me on how girls her age didn’t wear skirts as short as mine when they were my age… it was below my knee, Y/N. AND I’m not even in the marketing department, I’m in finance, why was she even concerned about me?!”

“Well… when I am Chief of Marketing to take her place, I will instead encourage you to wear sexy outfits, Nami.” You wink exaggeratedly.

Nami smiles and shakes her head, “Flattering, but HR might not find that as entertaining as we do.”

“Oh yeah that’s not good.” You pause and fake sigh, “Our love will have to be hidden.”

Nami sheds a fake tear, “We are like the platonic Romeo and Juliet… you know… without the death… and pedophilia…”

“A shame I think it would add drama and spice … the death part- not the pedophilia, obviously.” You sigh and place a hand on Nami’s shoulder, “We are unintentionally HR’s worst nightmare I think.”

She shrugs, “Jinbei will understand.”

You stop at a large entrance with two tall engraved wooden doors with shiny golden knobs, a small white and black houndstooth placemat in front of the door, looking out of place compared to the modern marble floor, white walls, and bold furniture and paintings along the rest of the hallway. You had felt the peculiar feeling of walking through those doors a million times before, it was like time traveling back 50 years. How Cecil, a woman who had seen the dinosaurs and who did not bear the resolve to advance her views further than the 1700s became Chief of MARKETING for a RESORT company? Well nobody was exactly sure, by all means it made no sense. Cecil liked you because you sucked up to her, but made sure the company still advanced by undermining just about every request she had. In fact you were sure if Cecil were left to her own devices, Sabo and the folks in the law department would be drowning in lawsuits. 

You turn back to Nami one last time, “My outfit look modest enough?”

Nami nodded, “I can’t wait for you to be able to wear clothes that fit. I’ve seen your actual closet…” She raked your body up and down, making sure to focus on the bland gray and horrid shoes. “...This is a crime in comparison. 

“Great. Wish me luck.” You raise up your hand for a high five, to which Nami immediately reciprocates, before stomping off in her purple skirt and blouse with beautiful jewelry that might have given Cecil a heart attack had she seen it. 

You knock on the door, “Chief Brookes?”

“Come in!” Her scraggly voice calls out.

You open the door and step through, careful to shut the door and resist walking down the horrifically long, green brown rug Cecil used to guide a pathway to her desk. 

“Ah. Y/N.” She gives a smile. Though she was around 68, she looked more to be in her mid-fifties. Absolutely gorgeous woman with a smile that makes you feel safe. That is, until she cuts into you with jabs about your work and overall appearance. Not only that, but so terrible at her job that higher management has been waiting for her to retire. They have come to the conclusion that waiting for her to either kick it or retire in an eccentric manner is better than having to fire her. “My favorite protege.”

Only protege. No part of Cecil Brooke’s favor towards you was accidental. Though part of you had to admire Cecil’s spite and lack of tact. Your admiration might be deeper had she actually been good at her job. “Hello Mrs. Brookes.” You carefully walk up to her desk with a polite smile. 

She smiles wider, “You know I’d rather you call me Cecil.” She lies. She enjoys the hierarchy culture. “Sit sit!”

You carefully pull out the chair and sit down. Making a show of laying your hands down in your lap gently, a stark contrast from the person your team has seen these last few years, “Can I ask what you called me in for?"

Cecil nods and her expression hardens. She grabs a tissue box from across her desk and places it in between you two. “Just in case…”

Good sign.

“I called you in here because… very tragically and very suddenly… I have decided to cut my career short.”

‘If she considers that short, I can only grieve for her husband’s self esteem.’

“What?” You make a point of furrowing your eyebrows, “With all due respect-“ which is none. “-You can’t just quit when the company needs you so desperately.”

“I know it’s a lot to take in. You must be shocked.”

“I’m flabbergasted.”

“It’s tragic, truly.”

“Truly” you nod, slowly shifting your expression from false outrage, to false disbelief, to false sadness. 

“Don’t worry.” She reaches her hand over yours, “I will still be here for 4 weeks. I will teach you everything you need to know…”

‘Even better sign.’

“I am… heavily considering recommending you to take on my position.”

You gasp, “Mrs. Brookes! I couldn’t-“

“You can.” She smiles, “With my guidance over the next few weeks, I believe I can teach you my ways. I will be testing you along the way though. It won’t be easy.”

‘Anything is easier than trying to make our marketing department mediocre at best with you rejecting all of our ideas.‘

“I understand. I am honored to be in your thoughts…”

She puts her hand over her heart, “You just remind me of myself so much.” She sighs, “Well then… I guess that’s it. I will follow up with you later.” She shakes your hand.

You say your goodbyes and walk down the vomit inducing carpet. It would be the first thing to go.

“Y/N? One more thing for tomorrow.”

——————————————————————

You stand near the entrance of one of the interview rooms on the first floor. The one HR usually uses for interviews. Today, it was your interview room, along with Cecil’s if she ever decided to show up. The possible employee would be there in 20 minutes, 10 if they decide to be smart and come off as a try hard. Cecil’s favorite breed of person.

“Y/N?” You hear a familiar voice call out. Sabo. Team 5 leader in the law department, brother of two significant people in your life. Luffy and your ex boyfriend. Though it’s apparent your ex refrained from giving details of the relationship’s end by Sabo’s continued comfortability and friendship with you, though this day it didn’t seem so. “What are… you doing here?” He gives a strained toothy smile.

“Waiting for Cecil so we can start this interview.”

“Right… but… wouldn’t the… team manager the position is under be doing the interview?” He stays smiling, though it gets more and more unsettling as he whips his head around, “Isn’t it supposed to be Yamato doing the interview? Where is heeee?” He laughs in a rather scared manner.

“Change of plans. New employee is under my team until further notice.” You raise an eyebrow at him, “Why?”

“…No reason.” Sabo squeaks out, “Bye now!” Just like that, he is turning the corner on his heel as fast as he can. You hear a thud at one point followed by a curse but you try to ignore it.

Cecil appears from around the corner, dressed like a neon Cruella De’Vil. Her makeup masking her natural olden beauty with a clown color palette. She gives you a curt nod and unlocks the door, expecting you to follow along with her actions wordlessly and fluently. Thank goodness after years of staring her down to copy her mannerisms, this comes easy. You both sit next to each other in the room as Cecil decides to speak her first word of the day, “I will finish my section, then you will speak your peace. I will give you a 50% say in this. Since the new graphic artist will be under your team. Your first test is managing a new employee on top of the new marketi-“ something something something.

You just nod and smile until she is interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by a muffled sound sounding like Sabo’s voice saying ‘you can just open it’ whoever it is decided that this is a great idea and finally turns the knob. You glance down at the paper you realize you have yet to read any of or review at all. Drinking with your girls out of excitement took up valuable time. You hear the sudden stop of steps as you stay glued to the page, determined to at least scan over the resume-

Portgas D. Ace: Grand Line Resort, Graphic Artist job application.

No. No. No. You look up to meet the face you’ve avoided for a good 5 years. Chocolate brown eyes, splatters of freckles, muscled physique, bronze skin…

You can’t read his mind but if you could you are sure it would be the same thought as yours.

Fuck.

———-

“Fuck” A man you assume is Luffy’s brother says as he stares at you. Frozen like a deer in headlights.

He was coming out of the bathroom. Quickly going to grab a towel from the hallway closet in the flat he shared with his brothers. How was he supposed to know one of Luffy’s… hot friends would be here? The one he would eye across the one class he had with you during a professor’s boring lecture?

Your eyes unintentionally drift down as you try to comprehend what you are seeing. You quickly regret it. Your eyes dart up and you try to forget what you’ve already seen.

You two make eye contact for a few seconds before he, still wide eyed, closes the door while you dart down the hallway. You aren’t going to forget that first impression anytime soon.

———— 

You remember your first legitimate sight of Ace, a memory that is not helping you in this situation at all. A different memory seems to be playing in Ace’s head by the look on his face as he takes in your appearance. Looking for changes maybe. 

Ace shakes Cecil’s hand casually, but falters when he reaches you. What is he going to do? Pretend like he doesn’t know you?

“Good afternoon. I’m Ace, last name is Portgas.” He smiles at you but you can read in between the lines. He is as unprepared as you are. 

Though Ace is smiling and behaving semi-normal despite the situation, you are sure your body language and facial expressions convey your true thoughts. You sit there still as a brick as Cecil gestures for him to take a seat. 

He doesn’t look at you. Cecil introduces you at one point but his eyes look almost past you. Cecil doesn’t seem to notice anything off about his demeanor, but you do. He runs his fingers through his hair one to many times, his blinking is way too fast, he leans forward too much, and the arm closest to you isn’t on the table like the other one is. Details you aren’t sure how you remember.

Questions go by, when answering Cecil’s questions he turns to your direction but his eyes stare right past you as he answers. As soon as he turns to you his breathing quickens, his hand clenches and his shoulders tense. All things you notice before he turns back to Cecil to make eye contact with her.

Cecil coughs and turns her head in your direction. You know what for, though you’d rather be anywhere but here. You cross your fingers and hope you and Cecil don’t have the same questions since you were not at all paying attention.

“So, Mr. Portgas, how did you hear about this job?” You tilt your head curiously.

He takes a breath as soon as you speak your first word. He looks like he’s holding onto every word as you speak. “My brother works here… he recommended this position because I have an art major.”

You nod. Sabo must’ve been shaken because of you interviewing and having Ace in your team, “Impressive. And what can you bring to the position?” You squint your eyes skeptically

Ace freezes, “I believe…” he loosens his tie nervously.

You glance at Cecil, who is taking note of his behavior. Cutthroat bitch. Part of you is internally celebrating at the prospect of Ace not being a potential employee, but the other half is begging him to get it together.

“I can bring a new and innovative point of view to the team. Though this is my first legitimate office job and that can be a challenge to adjust to… but I’m not worn down from the job or stuck to the old way of doing things because of it.” It’s a decent answer, though Cecil doesn’t seem to appreciate his response.

You can see Ace is overthinking his answer in his mind, though his proud smirk says otherwise. He wants this done as soon as possible. Quite frankly, so do you. “That’s it for me. Thank you.” You say as quickly as possible.

Ace mumbles, “Thank you.”

Cecil didn’t seem too impressed with that either.

…That’s a good thing, yeah?

Cecil’s lips purse as she stares back at him, “Here at Hiraeth Resort, though our other departments may embrace new innovation, I have been sure to play our cards safely by using the same technique all these years. I’m afraid this might not be what you are looking for out of a job.”

Ace’s eyebrows furrow at her response, quickly scanning over your face, searching for something, a reaction to her words. The disbelief that you had confined yourself to a job like this etched across his features. His eyes linger on the bland gray and the jewelry metal that differed from your usual. You told him to never buy jewelry in that color, “I assure you I will do a great job no matter what your focus is.”

“...” Cecil analyzes his response before waving her hand, “That is it for me, we will get back to you at some point. I’m sure somebody appreciates the time you spent in this interview.”

That one stung.

You see Ace’s jaw clench and his features narrow before he sighs, “Thank you for your time Mrs. Brookes and… Ms. L/N.” He sends you a look of deep rooted betrayal masked by a layer of professionalism and longing. You aren’t sure which part of it is worse. 

He reaches for a handshake from Cecil, which she does not reciprocate. He hesitantly reaches out for yours, hand shaky. He starts to pull back after a second, but you reach out to meet his hand. The handshake is brief, but the shiver the contact brings you is downright embarrassing. 

As soon as that door shuts, Cecil turns to you, “Absolutely not.”

“...Why?” You should probably just nod and agree like you would with anyone else, no matter how qualified you believed they were. Something stops you.

She almost laughs, “He’s a disaster, sure some of his responses were decent… but a new point of view? Creativity? His job is to draw designs for the company mascot and posters! Look at this portfolio. ¼ of it is tattoo designs.”

“Everyone starts somewhere. He has a ton of job experience, it’s not all tattoo designs. He’s done posters and logos for restaurants and other businesses.”

“Ah yes, because a former firefighter will be very helpful in this job field.” She reads off the job list on Ace’s resume.

Hot. “It shows determination and sacrifice.” And it’s hot.

“I just don’t think he’s a good fit for the company.”

You fiddle with your rings, a color you despise, but it is Cecil’s preferred metal. “He has potential, I believe.”

She turns towards you, disbelief in her eyes, “You’re really for this guy?”

If she finds out about you two having dated, a clear conflict of interest, your chances at that promotion fly away.

You slowly nod, “I think he could be helped.”

Cecil scowls before sighing, “4 week paid internship, at the end of my time here, I will decide if he gets the job or not. You are in charge of shaping him to my standards.”

Your breath hitches. 4 weeks of constant… Ace? Nightmare, horrible idea.

“...Yes ma’am. I will not disappoint you.”

She grabs her pen and writes something down, “You best not, your job future is riding on the line as well. Dismissed.”

—------------------------------------

Nami waves you down frantically as you are headed to the local coffee shop after work, a distressed Sabo and Koala next to her. 

Nami gestures for you to sit down, which you reluctantly comply with, death staring at all three of them while they give you nervous smiles. 

“You all knew?” You ask.

They nod.

“So did everyone else…” Sabo cringes, “But we didn’t think he was going to be under your team… so…”

“Right…”

“Listen… We know the situation is.. Rocky… but Ace needs the job… and there has been a lot going on for him. He got fired from the fire station after breaking Teach’s arm because he insulted pops.” Koala adds

Thank god he didn’t put the fire station as a reference.

“So far one person is for his hiring and the other wants him as far away from her and her department as possible.” You comment.

You immediately are met with a mix of pleading, disappointment and very subtle… threats? The last from Sabo, mainly.

“Guys.” 

They continue. “GUYS!” Their attention finally is on you, “I am for hiring Ace, it’s Cecil who is against it”

Nami pauses and looks up at you, “...That checks out… actually.”

“I may not want Ace to be in proximity to me, but I won’t deny him a job. He has 4 weeks of a paid internship before Cecil decides if he gets a permanent job or not. Believe it or not, I defended Ace, no matter how-” You sigh, “... He is.”

—-------------------------

Sabo opens the door to Ace’s apartment, watching for a moment as pots and pans are roughly dropped on the counter as Ace stomps from fridge to cabinet to counter. “What.” Ace roughly lets out, not making eye contact with Sabo.

“...How’d the interview go…?” He awkwardly smiles. Ace whips his head up and scowls, the expression on his face giving all answers, “Right…”

Ace exhales deeply, “As soon as I saw her there I just knew… Why would you even let me go if you knew before that it was happening? Life just adores me, clearly. We break up, then I finally find some peace with my firefighting job, now that’s over and I come face to face with her. Waiting for her judgment, jobless, unworthy like some pathetic…! Ugh…” He rubs his temples, “I didn’t even read the email, I don’t want to deal with it. I should’ve just stayed at the tattoo shop, but I need to make enough to travel and… Jesus.”

Sabo stays silent before quietly glancing at Ace’s computer, pictures of your instagram open. He gives a wide-eyed stare back at Ace, who closes it and tosses it on his couch. Sabo ignores it and continues his thought, “Y/N defended you. Cecil despised you, but she says that you are being given a 4 week paid internship. Cecil- Mrs. Brookes- will decide at the end of it whether you actually get the job…” He gives a smile and a shrug, “Do with that information what you will.”

—--------------------------

Reason One to hate Portgas D. Ace:

He’s uncooperative

You point the camera back at the tall tan man across from you, trying to forget you have seen this aggravating man naked on your first meeting, “You realize we are doing this interview for you guys’ sakes right? All freshman basketball players this year. You’re on the starting lineup, so people are actually looking at you. And all the answers you have given me are inadequate.”

Ace leans back in his chair with a sigh, “I don’t see the point, really. I’m not trying to go to the NBA or anything.”

“Why?” You say, intrigued.

“...I don’t know?”

You throw your hands up, “Oh. My. God!”

“Why are you doing this anyway? Shouldn’t some sports journalism majors be doing this?”

“They all got caught using Chegg on their assignments and sharing answers in a group chat, so now me and some other Marketing students with a journalism minor have to do it.”

“...Oh.”

You groan, “Let’s try this again, why don’t you want to do basketball after college?”

Ace inhales, “...I don’t know… I guess… I mean… I like it, but I mostly do it because of the people on the team. Also it’s too much publicity… worrying about stepping on people’s toes and shit. Doing it professionally just seems… wrong… I don’t really know what I want to do with my life that I’d be good enough at…”

You turn off the camera, it didn’t seem like the type of response that should be recorded. For a split second, there was no camera, there was no mini microphone you had attached to his shirt. There was no 5 foot distance between the couch he was sitting on, his posture now up straight. It was just… you and this guy. Granted it was a guy you had first “met” when he was naked coming out of his bathroom, but still. Just you. Just you and ‘Ace’  “...It’s freshman year, you still have some time.” You shrug.

“...Yeah…”

You shake your head and turn on the camera again, “Uhh… now for the other questions.”

[all-pacas]

I love how House is a much better parental figure for Chase than his actual parents,even tho he's a disaster. The bar is so low...

The bar is subterranean. And I think the funny thing is, I don’t think either of them would label their relationship as such: Chase kind of does this with every authority figure he runs into (sucks up to them and tries to get them to like him); House resists every relationship that isn’t on precisely his own terms.

I was thinking just the other day about Human Error vs the Nobody’s Fault/Chase duo. A bit running theme of House is that he hates change. He lives in the same apartment, drives the same car, plays the same guitar. What relationships he has are grandfathered in: he’s known Cuddy on and off since med school, Wilson for a decade at the series start. He had One Relationship with Stacy. He does not generally seek new friends or romantic partners.

And House when called on this gets pretty contrary, of course. He buys a motorcycle. He buys a new guitar. He… fires Chase. And that’s an interesting decision to me, because it really is out of nowhere. House is told he’s struggling to let Foreman go, to let things change, so he proves he’s fine with change by… firing Chase. It’s not because he actually hates Chase; I’m not arguing they’re bffs or have a reciprocal father-son thing at this point. But he’s had Chase the longest.

And the point comes up again in Nobody’s Fault. Cofield practically starts his conversation with Chase with: you’ve worked with him longer than anyone. He brings the point up again with House: 

COFIELD: He's your friend, and he's not well. HOUSE: He's a coworker. COFIELD: Coworker whom you've known for almost ten years who nearly died and who's still scared he may not walk.

(earlier: 

COFIELD: So your testimony is that Dr. House's complete lack of concern is evidence of his deep concern?

)

And yes, sure, knowing someone ten years is enough in itself. But again and again for House, that’s a big deal. That’s… Wilson in S1. Chase has been part of House’s life for a decade. House fired him and he came back. I’ve talked before about how, to Chase, House is the one constant in his life, the one person who approves of what he does and takes him back and wants him around. But it really does go both ways. No, Chase isn’t the only person House has, or the most important person in House’s life. But Chase got fired, and he came back. House punched Chase and immediately regretted it, and Chase didn’t press charges or hold a grudge.

The thing is, House really doesn’t treat Chase like a peer or an equal, and Chase doesn’t try (unlike Foreman and Cameron) to be treated as an equal. I think that’s why their relationship has such father-son vibes; they’re both seemingly pretty happy with the weird employer/mentor/approval seeker relationship they ended up with. But on other levels, they’re very close. Chase gets House, and while in some ways he does seem to idealize him (Chase consistently — and very interestingly given his own history — ignores and enables House’s addictions), he neither idealizes House into a polish or into a monster: he is very good at reading House. They’re both very observant, they both hate opening up, they have deeply parallel histories that the show eventually leans into. Chase was not the first fellow House ever had, but he is the first one that stuck. The first one that stayed.

House can’t admit that means something, but Chase doesn’t need him to, because Chase knows how House thinks. Chase is lonely, S8 drives home he’s lonely and stuck and wants change (and will never get it): House, in his way, always makes it known he notices and cares. They’ve been in one another’s lives for ten years.

[masquenoire]

OOC//What about foods he doesn’t like? Is he picky or will he eat something even if he doesn’t enjoy it?

Roman has a pretty balanced sense of taste. He ate a wide variety of food growing up as a child and was exposed to exotic dishes on a regular basis, meaning that while there are some things he doesn’t like very much, he’ll eat them if he has to. He IS picky however; his dishes must be made with quality, fresh ingredients so cheap food pumped full of sugars and additives isn’t something he’s going to like. Arkham is notorious for this, cutting corners by serving sub-par meals as so not to go over budget and Roman will refuse to eat for days upon coming back, hating the poor quality, lukewarm meals he barely considers fit for pigs, let alone human beings. Nobody has a fun time when Roman gets hauled back to Arkham Asylum, least of all when he’s hangry so staff tend to look the other way when he bribes employees to bring food from outside premises.

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[alangdorf]

Yessssss the legs are done so I can finish stuff that‘s not just boss fight second phase and the immediate aftermath now!! So here’s the normal Magolor ref. The prosthetic design was a commission from lovely friend Cozzymandias (@cozzymandiesque on twt I believe) who designs and draws a lot of mechs, check him out!

[weareuniqueandimportant]

We Made A Post. Perfect. Amazing. Easily Godlike.

Only For Them To Be Removed Once Again... And Gasslight As "Just A Glitch"...

No... This Is Nothing But A Way To Attack And Erase Progressive Things... Showcase This Abuser... Called Tumblr Has An EVIL And BIGOTED MONSTER AGENDA...

Make Us Transition. We Live In Finland Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt. We Deserve So Much. Especially When We're Nothing But Abused All The Time... Like Right Now... Whatever We Type In Now... Can Never Recreate This Amazing And Perfect Post... Just Like The Other Ones... But This One Was So Good... I Loved Her... And They Abused Us... Now She's Gone 😭😭😭😭...

:(... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!!

I Will Finish This Post Soon... But I Am Depressed... And Traumatized... I Panic... I Could Jump Trough That Window Right Now... I Have Anxiety... Evil... Has Once Again Hurt Us As I Sweat Once Again On This Abusive Spot This The EVIL Situation We Have Been In Before More Times Than To Count... Them All Stacking Up Into This Horrible Experience... A Feeling... Inside Of Our Brain... A Dark Deep Pain... Weighing On Them... As I Sweat.. In Pain... I Could Scream!! But Can't!! Because Of This Evil Body!! And Evil Abusive Place We're In!! I Can't Show My Emotions... That Would Be... More Painfullness If Anything...

:(...

We Watched 3 Episodes Of She Hulk... I Believe A Leftist Should Prrrrtteeeee... I Believe A Leftist Should Showe Their Middle Finger Up A Company's Uncaring Asshole... I Believe We Should Be Doing That... Than Watching Like This... This Situation... All Wrong... From What Is Supposed To Be... Our Consent... VIOLATED... ONCE AGAIN AS ALWAYS... The Consept Irrelevant... But When That Is For Us... ANYTHING... CAN BE RELEVANT JUST FOR US... BECAUSE WE MATTER... WE DESERVE SPECIAL PRIVLEDGES...

:(...

😢...

I Will Take A Break From This Post Perhaps... Who Knows...? We Have Been Hurt And Harmed... Nobody Will Ever Understand!!!! OUR CRAZY PAIN... TEARING APART... OUR INSIDES...

I Love Black People... I Love This Woman... I Love Aisha In Fate The Winx Saga... That Is Racist To Oppose This Character... Only We Matter... If They Don't Matter... Then Black People Don't Matter... And That Would Be... Horrible...

I Love All The Diverse Background Characters Aswell... Tbh... They're All Like Nice Toys... Or Nice Furries... They're Nice... They're Cute... Black People Aswell... They Make Us... Feel Loved... They Make Us... Less Afraid... Evil... Want To Take Them Away... THE THINGS WE LOVE... JUST LIKE ALWAYS... JUST LIKE HOW... WE WATCHED MARVEL STOP BEING WOKE RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES!! WITH THE NEW MALE POWER FANTASY COMING!!!!

...

Nobody... Cares About Us... Nobody... Was There For Us... When ANY... OF THIS PAIN... HAPPENED... LIKE THE FACT THAT WE STILL HAVEN'T TRANSITIONED...

I Like She Hulk... I Like... Powerfull Woman... I Like... Black Best Friends... I Like... Watching Her Be Powerfull... Instead Of Rape Porn...

I Like... How Hulk Wasn't On Her Way... And Leaves... I Like... How Nice He Is... I Like... She Didn't Get Reduced To Anything... On The Screen...

I Like This Is About Her... I Like... The Woke Mcu... I Never... NEVER SAID... THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN AWAY FROM US... JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE WE CARE ABOUT... JUST LIKE... EVERYTHING ELSE PROGRESSIVE... ARE YOU HAPPY NOW... LEFTIST?!?!?!?! YOU HATE WOKE THINGS!!!! YOU ONLY LIKE CONSERVATIVE THINGS!!!! YOU LOVE CONSERVATIVES!!!! YOU HATE PROGRESSIVES!!!! NOTHING LEFTIST ABOUT YOU!!!! YOU'RE EVIL!!!!

That Was... Cruel... How They Justified All Bigotry... And All Abuse... And Discrimination... In She Hulk... That Was Lame... How The Marvels Is About How Africa Shouldn't Be Made Communist Because Culture Is Evil And On The Way And Irrelevant And The Message The Same...

How Can These Be Titled... Bad Movies...? When The Previous Garbage... Was Nothing But Praised...? THAT IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND... THIS IS WHAT IS GOOD... THAT IS WHAT IS BAD... MONEY IS EVIL... MARVEL TOO... EVERYTHING WAS FAKE... EVERYONE ONLY PRETENDED TO GIVE A FUCK!! OR PERHAPS... Some Did... But... They're All... Worthless... Powerless... Pathetic... Losers... They're DESERVE NOTHING... I HOPE THEY SUFFER... THEY DESERVE THAT... JUST LIKE YOU DO... JUST LIKE EVERYONE DOES... BESIDES US!! THAT ONLY DESERVE GOOD THINGS!! LIKE TRANSITION... MAKE US... WE DESERVE ONLY GOODNESS...

This Is Fun... The Previous Is What Is Boring... The Future Is What Is Boring... WOKE MARVEL...? WAS THE BEST!!!! I WANT THEM BACK!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!! JUST LIKE I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE... AND PLUSHIES... I WANT MARVEL BACK... SHE IS MINE...

I Liked Seeing Wong. He Is Underrated He's Better And More Diverse Than Doctor Strange. Same With That Villain. I Am Glad He Was Actually Good... But They Also Spread Evil Propaganda With Him...

[optiwashere]

what are your thoughts on the differences between Early Access characters and full release? Did you play it?

I don't play early access games. I don't have the time for it, believe it or not, and I also don't want to burn myself out on (usually) shittier versions of games without experiencing the full scope. If someone wants me to beta test their game, they can pay me.

I played the first Darkest Dungeon in the earliest patches, and it's forever tainted my perception of early access games for me personally.

That said, I can only go off of what people say about those versions of the characters and that is exceedingly difficult without just watching playthroughs of those various versions. Why? There are plenty of people who have their heads on straight, but I see enough mythologizing of cut content, older sketches of things, etc. for me to be wary of relying on second-hand accounts. And I definitely don't have time to watch playthroughs of an obsolete version of this video game lol.

Anywho, my point is: I like the game at release. Thinking about what was and what could have been is as useful to me as rocks in my shoes. I prefer to discuss what we have.

[seyaryminamoto]

I'll be in the minority here, but I'd be okay-ish with Rei and Renkai becoming a couple if its handled with care. This is unusual for me since I rarely go for big age gap relationships. Though, to me, its not the age gap itself, but what I call the Maturity Gap. There needs to be a balance of life experience, if that makes sense. There's 20 year olds who've lived through, seen and experienced as much if not more than some 40 year olds. But that's usually rare, so I rarely support age gap ships.

Hahaha, I understand that position, and I'll be honest, while I'm not a huuuuuge fan of age gaps, I wouldn't jump outright to condemn them every single time. Context definitely matters, I don't think every age gap involves grooming, particularly if we're talking about adults. People of different walks of life can absolutely come together to find common interests with someone who's much younger or much older than themselves, so it's not completely out of the question for me.

The maturity gap makes sense, of course. There's definitely some people who are older and do not have the maturity of their age, just as the opposite can be true, someone can be too young to be so wise... but in these cases, I honestly leave it to each person who's in those situations, (provided they're all adults (and always have been across their relationship) and aren't making their decisions under the wrong influences).

In Rei and Renkai's case, though, I don't really think it would be all that instinctive for them to become an item. In a sense, I suspect it might feel repetitive, too -- we already have Song and Rui Shi's romance, and let me tell you, getting those two to GET STARTED was not easy x'D they were supposed to plant the proper seeds for romance as early as the end of the first Pairs Tournament, but it just didn't feel right... so they just hugged and rejoiced in Rui Shi's confirmation that Myeung was alive and safe and sound. So I had no choice but to push Song as hard as I did in the second arc of Part 2 to make her act on her feelings, if for the wrong reasons, or else they would've just danced circles around each other FOREVER. So, if those two took LONGER than Sokka and Azula to get anything started? I guarantee Rei and Renkai would be that much worse x'D And as we've also seen a relationship that has similar dynamics to this one, I feel like it might not be all that interesting to explore another relationship between a commoner girl and the captain of Azula's guards.

Now, going a little further, in terms of speaking about the characters themselves... I don't think Renkai is someone who's really looking for love. Rei? Considering her background, she's looking for the stability of a family that really cares about her, and she absolutely has found that with Azula primarily, with Song and Renkai in second place. Renkai has definitely bonded with Rei and Song, but I think it's a pretty innocent bond. He wants Song to be happy and find her way to Rui Shi again, just as he wants that for Azula with Sokka... and he wants Rei to be happy, too, in the same sense. He doesn't really perceive her all that differently as he does the other two. I don't really think it would be easy for him to think of her as a potential romantic partner for himself. That's really not on his mind at all. In that sense, he's a bit like Mei Xun, both of them are just... not looking for love for themselves, at all. They're happy to support other people in their lives who want and are looking for it, but they're not exactly desperate to find it themselves.

As for Rei, I think she would need like... 5-7 years of calm and stability to finally start thinking if she wants romantic love. I really laughed while writing her first thorough conversation with Song, where she was so confused by the concept of having sex with someone she liked, and she outright asked "would I have to?" because she's just... not really seeing the appeal of the concept at all x'D so, until she finds the appeal and has stabilized sufficiently, I think she's going to focus on pursuing her academic interests, and basically making up for all the time she sacrificed/wasted due to both of her birth parents and the circumstances she was stuck in.

So... would it be possible for something to happen between those two once they're ready? Maybe, and she'd definitely be adult enough at that point where people shouldn't feel suuuuper uncomfortable with the concept, even if they aren't big on age gaps. But there's ALSO the possibility that she might meet other people and fall in love with someone else (who knows, maybe Renkai could, too!). Point is... it's not going to happen within the scope of the story x'D potential-wise, they could have a decent relationship, absolutely, but neither character, at this point in time, is looking for romantic love or needs it all that much, they're motivated much more powerfully by other things instead.

[becca-alexa]

love it when i meet with people and find out their sole purpose in life is finding me a husband 😔🙏💗

[rewrittn]

Choi Su-Bin. 27 years old. Loves Partying & Having fun.

Su-Bin has a twin sister named Su-Jin, Su-Bin is the younger twin by ten minutes so her sister is very protective of her and took that big sister role so seriously despite there only being that ten minute gap between them.

Su-Bin does not have a job and lives off of her sister’s own money to pay for her clubbing and partying fun. Su-Jin can’t really say no to her sister because she see’s how happy Su-Bin is when she’s with a crowd of people and for a long time Su-Bin was so sad because their parents passing so Su-Jin just lets Su-Bin do what she wants and is the responsible sibling ( Yes it is draining both mentally and financially to be the responsible one but if Su-Bin is happy then Su-Jin is too ). 

Su-Bin is expensive with the places she likes going and when she does date someone they don’t date her long because they can’t afford the things she likes to buy and the places she likes to eat and the clubs she likes to go to.

Su-Bin doesn’t realize just how much money she spends, she doesn’t realize how easily she drains her sister’s as well as any past love interest’s bank accounts. She doesn’t pay attention to a price tag. If it makes her happy she swipes the card and if it goes through she’s happy.

The happiness is for the moment only. There’s a part of her deep down that wants to do more than this one day or feels like she’s stuck in this stage of her life because she’s not smart like her twin, not successful and good at anything and she doesn’t have her parents to reassure her anymore and while her sister tries to, it’s not the same as it was back then. 

She dyes her hair pink and when her roots start showing it stresses her out so much because she loves the pink coloring in her hair over her natural black hair. She thinks the black hair suits her twin sister more than her which is silly thinking since they are identical twins. 

She has a flirty personality but is 100% loyal to her partner when in a relationship, basically if you date her she’s going to flirt you to death but if she’s single she’s gonna flirt with everyone that catches her interest and she thinks a lot of people are hot so like, your muses are probably going to be her type pretty easily.

She’s not really good with huge changes in life, the stress will eat at her, that’s why she hasn’t stopped her partying lifestyle because it’d be a big change and she just isn’t good with it. She hasn’t been good with changes since she & su-jin lost their parents and their entire life got turned upside down plus with the debt that their parents were in that fell on them that su-jin somehow managed to dig them out of ( only now su-bin keeps putting them in new debt and su-jin keeps digging them back out only for su-bin to make another huge purchase and shove them right back into more debt ). 

She has a heart of gold and cares a lot, can get pretty emotional about stuff rather easily and she is genuine when she admits to finding someone attractive or if she falls in love. She gets her heart broken easily by falling in love and being dumped for her spending habits. 

For her love life, she needs someone that is patient at least, someone that could see her flaws and still love them.

her orientation is pan & she’s currently single. 

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio DPxDC Nobody Knows Au Pt 3

Parts 1 and 2

They both fall silent and stare. 

That's an answer to one of many questions they've been asking themselves for years, isn't it?

Their best friend disappeared, and it wasn't abduction or murder. It was an escape.

“You guys don't have contact with Jack and Maddie, do you?”

Tucker swears there's a record scratch in his brain.

Sam gapes. “You mean your parents?”

Danny smiles, small, grim and humorless. “Jack and Maddie.”

Jesus Christ.

Sam glances over at Tucker and they exchange a look. Tucker knows they've been feeling a shared guilt for a long time, feeling like they didn't do enough. They had suspicions about something fucked going on in Danny's home life since the beginning of freshman year, but they never blew the whistle about it.

Rationally they know it wasn't their responsibility. All of Amity had suspicions - someone should have called CPS, and it shouldn't have been a couple of kids. A goddamn adult should have stepped up.

It doesn't keep either of them from feeling like they failed their childhood best friend.

“Considering I've spent the last four years suspecting they killed you and chucked your body into the portal to hide it? Hell fucking no, Danny,” Sam asserts.

The set of Danny's shoulders relaxes significantly. “Good,” he breathes. “Good. Please keep it that way.”

“What the fuck was going on in that house, man?” Tucker asks, a little sick to his stomach. He knows right away he shouldn't have asked.

Danny's expression shutters into something polite and pleasant to hide discomfort, and he immediately starts ‘casually’ gathering his papers and computer into his bag.

“Listen, I'm really happy to see you guys - seriously. I really should get going though, I-”

Sam reaches out and snatches him by the scruff of his shirt before he can even stand up all the way, yanking him back down into his chair.

His dumbfounded expression makes Tucker snort a laugh, so familiar and puppy-like. Danny is still all big blue eyes and nearly visible question marks when taken off guard. Tucker missed that face.

“You're not going anywhere until we get your phone number,” Sam argues, not a hint of wiggle room in her face or tone. “We'll get lunch or something, all three of us. Go to the mall. We're living in the same city, you know I'll hunt you down.”

When Danny hesitates, her face and tone melt into something softer.

“Please, Danny. We miss you.”

Danny melts a little, sighing and smiling. “...yeah. Yeah, I missed you too. I've missed you guys so much.”

“So?” Sam prompts, holding her hand out.

Danny huffs a little laughing breath and fishes around in his pocket, unlocking his phone and plopping it into her hand. 

His nails are black and green. Gradient.

Tucker doesn't know much about nails, but he knows there's a difference when Sam paints them and when she splurges for acrylics.

“Are those professionally done?” he asks, bemused. Danny had never expressed an interest in that kind of thing as a kid. It's kind of cool to see signs that he's, like…growing into himself.

Danny shrugs, and it feels good to see that he doesn't even seem to consider Tucker might give a shit in a bad way.

“I'm on my hot girl shit,” he deadpans, and Sam nearly drops his phone with the force of her startled laugh.

Tucker snorts. “Oh, well about time.”

“Hey!” Danny protests, offense fake and eyes dancing. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing! You had a glow up is all.”

Danny snickers and kicks him gently under the table.

“Okay, dick.”

It's like they never parted at all for a moment.

“Here, Mr. Hot Girl Shit,” Sam says, handing Danny his phone back. “I put our numbers in and sent a text in a group chat so you can't forget to reach out. I'm serious, Danny. We missed you, don't disappear. It was scary enough the first time.”

Danny grimaces, at least looking genuinely apologetic. “I know. I'm sorry. I really do need to get going today, though. I've got an appointment.”

“What kind of appointment?” Tucker asks.

The grin Danny gives him is mischievous and has a few teeth sharper than he remembers there being. 

He breezes past them and out the door with an impish response of, “Hide and seek with furries.”

Part 4

Masterpost

[leewritestoomuch]

hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3

Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I don’t even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? I’m going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???

And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.

Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. I’ve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol

Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs

Naruto Uzumaki

He’s energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.

Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.

Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didn’t know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.

That being said, he’s a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.

I think he’d have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.

That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.

Overall though, he’d set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.

Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.

Sasuke Uchiha

No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.

He wasn’t too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.

He’s not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and he’d never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT he’s secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.

He’s very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or… cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)

He’s got a breeding kink. Next question.

Uses a mix of degradation and praises.

Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving soooo…

I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? He’s got awkward and sweet energy. He’s TRYING. He’s emotionally stunted yall.

More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.

One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think he’d slowly discover he’s into things as they occur or cross his mind.

Sakura Haruno

She knows a lot about the human body.

Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.

I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.

But… that depends on you, because she’ll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.

She’s okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.

Low sex drive.

She likes any position she can see your face.

She’s a switch, depends on her partner’s preference.

Sai Yamanaka

(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)

He read a book about what to do.

Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, he’s not an idiot, so not too bad.

You’d probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.

You’d be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.

He’s not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? He’s probably got something to work with if he’s talking so confidently LMFAO)

So you’d probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.

His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.

He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. He’s not trying to be quiet, but he’s not loud either.

Although, he might have read girls don’t like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him that’s not true.

At first, sex is just discovering things with him. You’re both exploring how everything feels.

But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.

He has a low sex drive though, so he won’t initiate too often.

It’s also hard to get him to realize what you’re asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over… okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you don’t like to expose yourself so much.

You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.

“Oh.” And now he’s unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)

Shikamaru Nara

Low sex drive, usually at least, because now he’s consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.

He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.

He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, don’t matter)

Lazy morning sex. He loves it.

He’s dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.

Degrading but he’s not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.

Choji Akimichi

The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.

Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but he’ll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.

Praise. Lots of it.

He’d be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.

He can’t bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.

Likes to be able to see your face during sex.

He’d like to try food play.

Ino Yamanaka

Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.

She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.

She’s a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.

She does it on purpose so you’ll go rougher on her, she likes it.

She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.

And she’d love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentine’s Day, or even just cuz.

Shino Aburame

He’s in charge. He’s on top. Whatever. He doesn’t like to not have control.

He also just wants to please you, and often he’s not too worried about himself.

Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if it’s been a few times now and you haven’t bothered… did he do something?

He doesn’t need it, but he just… you know how he is.

He doesn’t make much noise.

But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He can’t help it, and don’t bring it up afterwards. He’ll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because he’s scared he’ll do it again.

If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.

He’s good with his hands, I just know it.

He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, he’s rather vanilla.

He’s a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.

And he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.

Kiba Inuzuka

Hickeys.

He loves giving them.

You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, he’s marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because they’re dark.

He doesn’t exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when he’s pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.

When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.

He calls it “marking his territory” then has to explain himself because no he doesn’t mean you’re a territory, you’re not a place or an object… he just… you’re his partner!

He’s rough.

Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he can’t see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.

Quickies. He can’t wait. He’ll whine if you tell him NO he can’t fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.

You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he won’t force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. He’ll wait if you really mean no.

He’s got a high sex drive

Very likely to be pretty kinky. He’d be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.

He won’t do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So don’t think that because he’s a dog user, he’s gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, he’s more likely to hate it as a dog user.

I think he’d find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but he’ll complain.

Hinata Hyuga

Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants

She’s not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.

Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and she’s imagining what your moans would sound like when she’s between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.

She likes to do it in private, but she can’t deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.

Secretly has a high sex drive

Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.

Neji Hyuga

Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if he’s being honest

Also I think Hyuga’s are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.

He really wants to jump your bones. And it’s almost like the fact he can’t because of his clan’s reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.

You’re literally irresistible to him

Secretly, he’s just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Lee’s Ninja Pals says he is)

I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.

I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.

You’d look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he can’t bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No he’s gotta see if you’ll indulge him.

He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clan’s pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.

Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans y’all had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.

He doesn’t have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason he’s horny.

He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji can’t be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until he’s literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.

I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.

Rock Lee

Perverted…

He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop it’s too late… he’s got a boner

Boners are obvious in that green spandex…

He wouldn’t agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his “this is indecent!” Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.

He can’t be quiet so you’ll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.

He secretly wants your chest in his face. He’s a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.

But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.

Total switch

Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure you’re trying to deny yourself.

Loves to pound his hips against yours until you’re a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.

He loves to be broken down until he’s in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.

He whimpers like constantly, especially when he’s submissive. He tries to shut up when he’s dirty talking as he’s in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.

Tenten

I’m sorry her portion of this will be… lacking. I don’t know enough to say much. I love her, but I’ve never really thought about this at all.

I think she’d be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.

I think she’s depend greatly on you though.

If you don’t want to bottom/sub, that’s good.

Or vise versa.

She likes to take her time when she’s in control.

She’s fairly willing to try new things if you want to.

She enjoys going down on you most of all.

Gaara of the Sand

He’s very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. That’s no secret.

He’s not super into PDA, so it’s no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.

He will not do it in the kazekage’s office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesn’t want to get caught anyways.

He’s very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.

I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But… depends. And might take some encouragement.

Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesn’t see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for “fun.”

He doesn’t think they’re fun.

He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think he’d have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.

I think he’d be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, he’s got every spot memorized.

Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.

Kankuro of the Sand

One word: kinky.

He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like he’s calling you a prince/princess. It’s confusing.

He’s so good at dirty talk. He’ll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and he’s not even touched you yet.

He’s got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.

His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you can’t tell which is which.

Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys that’ll probably take at least a week to fade away.

Confront him about this and he’ll just laugh.

Don’t tempt him to leave more, because he will.

He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.

Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. “You weren’t moaning enough.” “You moved your hips too much. Stay still.” And of course, “you looked away.”

He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.

The most fun part for him isn’t dicking you down, it’s the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.

Temari of the Sand

Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.

Even when she decides to “sub” or “bottom,” she’s not doing a good job at it. She’s still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.

She’ll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.

Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.

“Get on your knees”

Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when it’s enough.

All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.

She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.

However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.

Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while you’re trying to cook breakfast.

You might want to turn the stove off.

[heartfullofleeches]

[18+]

Introducing - Shy Perv/Horny Alien Darling who's happy to be kidnapped by cute little humans if it means they'll get their dick touched.

Bound and chained up in their kidnappers home - Darling has but one question as their obsessive stalker declares their undying love and how darling will never, ever leave their side again-

"s.... since we're dating now....may - can I touch your breasts?"

Alien Darling from a planet where sleeping with another person for pleasure is looked down upon and intimacy is not seen as common . There's hardly any need for it in terms of reproduction either as technology has mostly taken over in the entire process. Needless to say, Darling is blown away when they learn about earth and some of its cultures. They want to go on dates, and hold hands with someone cute, and maybe even kiss them, and- and.... There's just so much for them to do.

Darling ends up on earth one way or another - working their way up to a far enough life as a cashier. Approaching humans in a romantic/sexual tense is a bit difficult when you only have experience from the films you've seen in the short span of time you've known about them. Darling remains alone and finds fulfilment elsewhere on the internet and with human toys they purchase for "research" - How they'd love to be able to use what they've learned with a cute human, but no person in their right mind would want an awkward outcast like them...

Right?

When Darling finally released they're being followed - they come to the conclusion that it has to be some strange human mating ritual. Yan likely discovers the various blogs Darling has made detailing their journey they probably think nobody will read or believe. Regardless of whether darling truly is from other world - it's clear to see how depraved they are. Yan sees that for themselves when they leave a pair of their underwear in darling's bed and instead of questioning where they came from Darling skips an entire day of work just to drool all over them. Darling is too busy fondling Yan's chest to notice anything wrong - like how their boss hasn't called to check up on them in a while.

Oh....That's right - they don't have a phone anymore. Their lover said they didn't need it anymore.... Plus, their boss was found dead in a lake a few weeks ago.

Huh.....How could they forget something like that?

"Would you like me to take my shirt off while you touch me, love?"

"Yes, please!"

Darling feels the need to ask before every kiss. It's cute - until they're drilling their tongue(s) down Yan's throat everytime since they claim Darling can do whatever they desire to them. It's still impossible for them to believe a cute human would want them so badly. Captivity is a small prize to pay to finally act out the fantasies they've had since they've learned of earth and its people.

[teaboot]

While I'm happy that the word "gaslighting" is more known than it used to be, and that people at large are learning to recognize what it looks like, I feel like we need to be careful not to turn it into something soft and casual we throw around off the cuff without meaning.

Being gaslit is psychological abuse that fucks you up very badly, very slowly, at such a gradual pace that you don't usually know it's happening until it's already re-wired your brain.

If you're unfamiliar with the term, "to gaslight" is to intentionally persuade someone that they cannot trust their own perceptions of reality. It's a destabilizing form of manipulation that leaves you constantly anxious, off-balanced, confused, and dependant on others.

This is done by lying about events that have happened or about things that are happening, invalidating feelings and observations, and either denying, refusing to acknowledge, or deflecting away from hard facts.

As someone who has experienced gaslighting as a form of abuse, this is what I remember from when I didn't know anything was off:

"Oh, I must have forgotten what really happened."

"I'm just not seeing it from their point of view."

"Everyone has their ups and downs. This is normal."

"I guess I wasn't thinking about what I was doing."

"I must have been wrong."

This is what I remember from when I first started realizing something was weird:

"How come every time I'm convinced they did something wrong, they just talk to me a few minutes, and I end up asking for their forgiveness? What has me so convinced I was right in the first moment?"

"I should start writing things down when they happen, so I can go back and check later when I'm confused."

"If every relationship like ours (familial, romantic, platonic) works this way, how come I never hear about it, or read about it, or see it anywhere else?"

Getting out and adjusting to the real world is hard, too, and comes with rapid swings of unfounded guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, and self-deprication that are completely unfounded in reality.

You've been conditioned to believe that you are entirely helpless and unable to think for yourself, possibly "crazy" or otherwise fundamentally impaired, and that there is a singular source of guidance that knows exactly what is right, and all of a sudden that pillar of support has vanished.

The immediate "after" that I recall looks like:

Constant uncertainty. Because nobody is there to tell you what's real and what isn't, you approach every situation thinking at it from all angles. Every question has fifty possible answers and most of them are wrong and you don't know which. If you choose wrong, the world will end.

A sense of helplessness. You feel that nothing you do is correct, and it's easier to make no choices at all- or you make wild, reckless, impulsive choices, because you feel you have nothing to lose.

Memory loss. I don't understand this one, but it's not like memoriescare being erased, but more like... you're so used to treating your memories as dreams or imaginations that you reflexively dismiss anything you recall as fake, and you can't believe anything you recall because you don't think it was real. Your abusers voice is in your head, wiping things away and telling you that you did the wrong thing. And you believe them, because they're the only constant you can rely on.

Missing the abuser, or the abusive dynamic. Because you know now that it wasn't healthy, but at least you knew where you stood. As long as you said the right things and acted the right way, agreed and obeyed and did as they expected, you felt like thevworld made sense. Now you have to figure out which parts of you really are broken, and which parts are working fine in a really weird way, and it's like tuning a piano when you've never played one before.

The long term "after"- for which I can only speak for myself- looks like:

Having to double-check, triple-check, and continue checking hard evidence of an event before responding in an active way.

Consulting with trusted friends to verify that your observations are legitimate and that your perceptions are valid. Following up with them to see if someone is really angry at you, or if you're just projecting anger onto them because it's what makes sense to your old pattern.

Obsessive collection of "evidence"- saving pictures, writing detailed journals, making recordings and video, never deleting emails or old texts, because you still don't quite trust yourself all the way and you're afraid that someone will cause you to doubt yourself again.

Continued self-doubt and being "gullible": I have straight up seen people flip me off to my face in front of witnesses and then immediately tell me, "No, I was just waving", and my first instinct is to believe them. For a few seconds, I *really do* believe them. Your brain is so trained to latch onto what people tell you to believe that its really, really hard to hold onto information that you already have.

Learning to take ownership over your own actions. (I didn't mess up because I'm "crazy", I messed up because I'm a person and people do that.)

Instinctively seeking approval. (Takes a lot of work to remind myself that I don't exit to make people happy, and that some people suck ass, and I can tell them to piss off.)

I don't intend to invalidate anyone currently struggling with this- if you feel that something is wrong, it probably is. That's the thought that got me out. Trust that feeling that something isn't right.

I just want people who don't know what to look for to know what gaslighting *actually* looks and feels like, so they don't just roll their eyes and think, "Oh, that word doesnt apply to me- I'm not some snowflake".

('Cause we all saw what happened with "triggered", right?)