#The First Clue - Events - Escape

[akkivee]

OMGG where are those full pngs of the homies/hoods outfits from??? They’re sooo stylish!

they were from the hypnosis flava 2️⃣ trailer!!!

[littlcdarlin]

Event Horizon

summary: When you start university to do your master’s in physics, you are more than surprised to meet your professor: Joel Miller, an old friend of your parents' who moved away years ago. word–count: 15k warnings: professor kink, power imbalance due to Joel being reader's professor, illegal relationship (overage & consenting), dbf!Joel, big fat age gap (unspecified but written with early 20s & mid 50s in mind), unprotected piv, just overall daddy issues (no use of the word daddy)

note: Okay, time to tell you I am a big nerd and studied physics in uni. Truth is, I quit to pursue a career in the arts, so my knowledge of masters level physics is...a little rusty. Please be lenient with me if I messed anything up. Also, I know most people hate physics, but I promise Joel makes it hot. Warning: explanation of the Dirac equation as foreplay. Also, I'm European and have no fucking clue how the American education system works but I don't care enough to do research. Enjoy <3333

event horizon noun ASTRONOMY a notional boundary around a black hole beyond which no light or other radiation can escape. a point of no return.

Uni felt different at eighteen, when everything was about moving out, drinking beer at frat parties, and kissing boys who didn’t grow up in the same town you did. It was an exciting time, the degree itself fading into the background of all sorts of new experiences, but now that you’re doing your masters, you plan on focusing on your your grades more than on partying.

You enrolled in a new university, farther away from home, with a better physics program, and although you’ve grown up considerably, you still feel that tingle of anxiety you did when you first walked to your dorm, fresh out of high school. This time you won’t have to share with another student, spending your saved money on a bit of privacy that is a single dorm room, but still, you wonder if you’ll make friends here, or if you’ll spend your night hauled up alone, watching trash TV and crying because you’re lonely.

The room is small, blank, but functional with a bathroom you share with another student and a small kitchenette, and immediately you dream of all the ways you could decorate it. You didn’t bring much, just a big suitcase and a few boxes your Dad dropped off earlier. You feel slightly guilty for leaving your parents behind, but the relief outweighs the guilt – you won’t have to come home every Sunday for dinner, visits will be scarce. You love you parents, but the distance is much needed.

You get to unpacking your clothes, reveling in the fact that you can listen to music without headphones in your very own space. You could do it in your underwear, or naked, you could sing and dance along, and nobody would be bothered by it. It’s going to be a tough two years, the program you chose more than challenging, but a childish sort of giddiness fills you – no roommate to be considerate of, no parents to visit and take care of every week. This time in your life is about you, and only you – your career, but also your well-being. You promise yourself to do what makes you happy, instead of looking out for everyone else all of the time, and you’ll start by ordering Thai food and watching the trashiest movie with the hottest actors you can find on the little flatscreen you brought with you.

***

Your first lecture is Computational Physics – the one you’re looking forward to the least. The reason you decided to study physics at all was the predictable logic behind each problem, but the more you studied, the more complex the problems got, until they were impossible to solve analytically. Now you get to solve fluid dynamic equations and simulate quantum systems on a Monday morning instead of having a peaceful cup of coffee and taking a walk around campus.

The lecture hall is big, and you pick a seat that is neither too far away to be able to read the professor’s notes, nor close enough to immediately be pinned as an over-eager teacher’s pet. In the end, you plop down next to a girl who’s sitting alone, something about her shaved head and countless earrings making you think she wouldn’t make fun of you even if you didn’t understand a single thing all lecture.

"Okay if I sit here?", you ask somewhat timidly, trying hard not to sound too much like an eleven year old Ron Weasley boarding the train to Hogwarts.

"Please," the girl answers, "I don’t know anybody here."

"Did you move here, too?"

"Yeah, I’m from New York."

"You look it," you say with a smile, eyes drifting over her clothes and jewelry.

"Thanks…I guess?", she answers, her grin revealing a charming gap between her front teeth. "I’m Alva."

You introduce yourself, thankful to have found someone you can stick to already. Throughout the lecture you find out that apart from being much cooler than everyone else in the room, Alva has a biting sense of humor, and a near endless knowledge of computational physics. You make a mental note to ask her to study together, her explanations much easier to understand than the professor’s.

The two of you spend your lunch break together, and you tell her a little bit about yourself, but way too soon it’s time to go already – you have Advanced Quantum Mechanics in a different lecture hall. This you find way more interesting, basic quantum mechanics was one of your favorite lectures during your bachelor’s degree. As Alva and you sit down, you find yourself hoping you’ll be able to help her out this time, or you’d feel like a leech for making her help you with Computational. She doesn’t seem bothered, though, and keeps babbling happily about a band she recently discovered.

"– Britpop, but they only put out two albums. I think they were like a student band or something? They’re wildly underrated, I’ll send you a song, their debut is called The Sun Is Often Out."

Your thoughts start to wander off a little, eyes drifting over the old-fashioned chalkboards, when the door at the front of the lecture hall opens, and a tall man walks in – a man you recognize.

"Holy shit," you whisper, interrupting Alva’s rant about the Longpigs, and she turns her head to look at what you’re staring at.

"Damn," she says with a grin, "if I wasn’t gay, I’d want a piece of that."

"No," you snort, "I know him. He’s my Dad’s friend."

Alva opens her mouth to say something, but at that moment, Joel Miller steps forward, checking to see if the microphone is working, and introduces himself to the hundreds of students in front of him. His voice is deep, and as warm as you remember it, but that’s where the accuracy of your memories ends – your childish brain failed to register the tanned forearms and rolled up sleeves, the carelessly styled curls, the perfect side-profile. He’s got grey streaks in his hair now, which should send you into a crisis about time passing and your own little life being finite, but instead it makes your stomach swirl with something dangerous. Joel Miller, the Joel Miller, who organized backyard barbecues with your father and bought your favorite vegan sausages when your Dad rolled his eyes at you, who made strawberry lemonade instead of lemon, because he knew you preferred it, who helped you with your physics homework when you were graduating high school and didn’t rat you out when he caught you smoking at seventeen – he’s handsome.

There’s still a familiarity about him, the way he moves and talks, although it’s unsettling to see him in such a different environment. You’re used to band-tee-Joel, beer bottle and tongs in his hands, a breezy smile on his face. He looks different here, in a white button-down, with a stern expression on his face, as he’s reading the names on his list to check attendance. When he calls Alva’s name and she raises her hand, his eyes flicker upwards, but he doesn’t look at you. Still, your stomach lurches. If you listen carefully, you can detect that southern twang in his voice you’re sure most people would miss, and it fills you with satisfaction to know you’re the one who knows him best in this room – you’re sure half the lecture hall must see how attractive he is.

When he reads out your name, there’s a surprised lilt to his tone, and your heart threatens to skip a beat.

"Here."

Your eyes meet, and although his expression doesn’t change, he holds your eyecontact for a second too long. Alva nudges your side and grins.

Your plans about outshining Alva and returning the favor of helping with a lecture are quickly buried by Joel Miller’s beautiful hands – thick fingers holding a piece of chalk almost tenderly, twirling it around when he isn’t writing on the chalkboard. You vaguely register him introducing the Dirac equation, but as interesting as you would normally find it, your thoughts are stuck between memories of barbecues and the realization that you will have to call the man who taught you to drive Professor Miller.

If Alva notices your wandering mind, she doesn’t comment on it, which you’re thankful for. You do notice her throwing you a couple of knowing glances, as you copy down what Joel is writing down, mixing up gamma, delta, and the Dirac spinor.

"Alright, so you all know how Schrödinger’s equation works great for quantum mechanics, but it doesn’t play nicely with Einstein’s relativity, right? That’s a problem because electrons move fast, sometimes close to the speed of light, so we need an equation that respects both quantum mechanics and special relativity. That’s where Dirac steps in."

He’s still got that warm way of explaining things your Dad never managed when you needed help in high school, like he enjoys clearing things up for people. He’s a born teacher, patient when you panicked in the car because you confused the clutch and the break, persistent when you wanted to throw your physics book against a wall. Look, kid, think of it this way: Push harder, it moves faster. Make it heavier, it’s harder to move. If you apply a force F to an object with mass m, it will accelerate a. That’s why your Dad’s car takes longer to stop than your bike. Even now, he manages to make a far more complex equation than Newton’s second law tangible.

"Dirac's equation is like the grown-up version of Schrödinger’s equation. It explains how particles with spin-half, like electrons, behave when they move at relativistic speeds. The gamma mu matrices make sure the equation works in four-dimensional spacetime, meaning three space dimensions plus time. The psi is a spinor, which is just a fancy way of saying that an electron isn’t just a simple wave function, it actually has spin built into its nature. Now, can anyone think of a situation where we would need to use this equation instead of the regular Schrödinger equation?"

Nobody raises their hand, most people still busy with writing down Joel’s complicated notes, and as if on cue, his eyes are on yours when you look up from your notebook. He raises an eyebrow, and you see the corner of his mouth twitch almost imperceptibly. Then, he calls your last name, a formal Miss dripping off his tongue as if he hasn’t called you kiddo for most of your life. It’s almost like he’s making a joke only the two of you are able to understand, and the thought thrills you to your bone. Two can play this game – you smile back.

"Sure, Professor Miller. You’d use it for studying high-energy particles, like electrons in particle accelerators, because it accounts for relativistic speeds. It’s also needed for situations where particles are created or destroyed, which Schrödinger’s equation doesn’t cover."

Again, his eyes linger on yours, and his slightly amused smile turns into a more genuine one at your answer. You let out a relieved sigh.

"Exactly," Joel answers, his attention on the rest of the class again, "Someone payed attention during Basic Quantum Mechanics. Now, here’s where it gets wild. When Dirac wrote this down, he realized it naturally predicts antiparticles, meaning for every electron, there should be a mirror-image particle with opposite charge, which we now call the positron. That was a huge deal because it wasn’t something people were expecting, it just fell out of the math."

For the rest of the class, Joel doesn’t continue that little game between the two of you, but whenever he asks a question, his gaze flickers over you, and your stomach gives an embarrassing little jump. Alva grins whenever this happens, but for most of the class she’s busy following Joel’s explanations.

"I want you to read up on today’s lecture," Joel says at the end of the lecture, and writes down a few page numbers on the chalkboard, "and solve the problems I mentioned earlier. Attendance isn’t mandatory, we’re all adults here, but I urge you to come if you’re interested in graduating in the next three years. Trust me, it’s easier to just do the work here than in your dorms. Now, enjoy the weather, see you Monday."

You and Alva pack up your things, and before she can ask you which class you have next, you pick up your backpack.

"I’m gonna say hi to him," you tell her, nodding in Joel’s direction, "my Dad and him go way back."

"Sure," Alva says, a cheeky smile on her face, "it’d be rude not to."

"Meet you outside?"

"I’ll be at the vending machine. Go get him," she jokes, and you snort.

Joel is packing up his course materials when you make your way down the steps and to his desk, but he looks up when he hears you coming towards him, and immediately his face splits into a smile. If you were anywhere else and ten years younger, he’d probably ruffle your hair.

"Good lecture," you say, "Dad didn’t tell me you’re teaching again."

Joel puts his piece of chalk into a tin box and nods.

"I don’t think he knows. You know how it is, we never get around to callin’ and I haven’t been home in a while."

So this is a new development, perhaps even Joel’s first semester back at university, too.

"What about the contracting? Don’t you miss the…pipes?"

He chuckles at your lack in basic contracting knowledge, his eyes not moving from yours.

"Ah, that was always Tommy, he just needed a little help. Company’s doin’ well now, though, so he’ll manage without me."

You think you remember Tommy – a man good-naturedly chasing you and the rest of the giggling neighborhood kids with a harden hose – but the memory is too vague to be sure it’s really him.

"You’ve grown up," Joel says, almost accusingly, and you shrug and smile. "Doin’ your master’s already. How come you’re familiar with Dirac?"

His accent is much thicker now that it’s only the two of you, and you notice a hint of pride when he asks about your correct answer to his question during the lecture. The satisfied feeling it gives you is still the same as when he high-fived you after your drivers test, or when he patted your back after you solved a problem for school without his help.

"Summer reading," you admit, trying hard not to sound like a nerd, "Basic Quantum Mechanics was my favorite lecture as an undergrad."

Joel smiles at you, and puts his notes into his leather bag. He slings it across his shoulder, and nods towards the door.

"How would you like to grab a coffee and tell me all about what’s been goin’ on with you and your old man?"

Your eyes flicker briefly over his hand, gripping the strap of his bag, and you raise an eyebrow.

"What’s the policy for staff having coffee with their students, Professor?"

Joel holds your gaze, the corners of his mouth twitching.

"I’m actually not sure, Miss, I’ve never had to check before."

He’s playing along, and it feels dangerously blurry – yes, he’s your Dad’s old friend, your childhood neighbor, but it feels like more than just joking around.

"Does that mean I’m your first, then?", you ask, voice sweet and close to flirting now. The smile freezes on Joel’s face, and his gaze becomes almost calculating.

"Am I yours?" he asks you softly, and the double-meaning behind his question isn’t lost on you. You feel a thrilling pang in your stomach – Joel Miller is flirting with you.

***

You do end up getting coffee after you tell Alva you’ll meet her later, Joel reassuring you it won’t get him into trouble, and you’re fascinated to see he still drinks it black. What fascinates you even more is that you remember how he takes his coffee, and you wonder why your brain filed this fact away as important, not to be forgotten.

"So, when did you graduate? Sorry I missed it."

There’s honest regret in his voice, which surprises you. Joel was always a warm person, but you figured he cared for you as much as he would have for any kid living across the street.

"Last June," you tell him, dropping a sugar cube into your cappuccino. "I spent the summer working, and now I’m here."

"How d’you like it so far?"

You give a nervous chuckle, torn between the honest truth and pleasant small talk. You opt for the former – this is Joel, after all, not some stranger.

"To be honest with you, I oscillate between enjoying my freedom away from Mom and Dad, and being scared shitless by starting over somewhere new," you admit, looking at your coffee. You haven’t told people about your fear, and it feels good to finally admit it – the grip your parents have had on you makes your newfound freedom almost uncomfortable.

"What d’you mean, startin’ over?", Joel asks, his voice strikingly gentle. You sigh, and shrug.

"I know the distance is good for me, but it was comfortable, just doing what my parents expected of me. I had good grades, nice friends, and just the right amount of drunken nights for them not to worry about my social life too much," you explain, "and now it’s like…there’s so much room to be someone else, cause they won’t see it anyway."

You look up, embarrassed to have spilt your guts like this, but Joel looks thoughtful, his thumb moving along the handle of his coffee cup.

"Sorry," you mutter, "I know they’re your friends, but they can be…"

"Overbearing?"

You smile at him gratefully and he smiles back.

"Look, I know your parents pretty well. They love you to bits, but as an adult I imagine it must be stiflin’.“

"Yeah," you sigh, grateful for his understanding, "I feel like I don’t know who I am when I’m not…their kid."

Joel nods, and sips his coffee, apparently pondering what you said.

"I promised myself I would only do what makes me happy while I’m here," you tell him sheepishly, as if it’s a secret, and Joel laughs.

"Well, I’m not expectin’ you to hand in any homework, then."

You grin, too, and shake your head. It’s surreal, Joel being your professor, and you wearing your heart on your sleeve for him.

"Don’t worry, Professor Miller, I’m not dropping your class."

"You’d better not, it’d really hurt my feelings," Joel says, eyes trained on yours. Again, that blurriness set in motion by the change of his role in your life: neighbor to professor to – what?

"What about you, though? This your first semester here?"

"Second," he tells you, "but I still don’t feel at home. Once a Texan, always a Texan, I guess."

You cock your head and watch him drain the last of his coffee, the cup tiny in his hands.

"What?" he asks you, curiosity evident in his voice.

"You look so different," you say, and Joel scoffs.

"Well, that’s real nice. Know I’m not thirty anymore, but geez–"

"No," you say with a grin, "it’s not that. I don’t know, I’ve just never seen you teach before. Or dressed this nice – I remember you mowing the lawn in a Fleetwood Mac shirt, not checking attendance in a button down."

Joel’s cheeks go slightly pink, and he scoffs again.

"Well, I can’t show up here in a band tee, can I? Gotta dress the part," he mutters.

"I get it. You suit it," you tell him, if only to see that blush appear on his face again. He looks up at you, holding your gaze for a couple of seconds, then he shakes his head.

"What were the odds of us meetin’ like this, huh? I gotta call your father and tell him."

Something about that bothers you, you’d prefer for your parents not to know. You like sitting here with Joel, reminiscing the old times, without anybody getting a peek in.

"Or not," he says gently, seeing the expression on your face.

"Sorry," you say, "course you can tell him."

"You apologize a lot," he tells you, and you fight the urge to say sorry once again. "It’s okay, I’m not tellin’ anyone, kid. ’S just you n me."

That pang in your stomach again, and you nod.

"Alright," you answer, "just us."

You get a refill for the two of you, and a blueberry muffin to split, which feels strangely intimate, but Joel pats his stomach and jokes about keeping an eye on his figure, so you grin, and ask the barista to cut it in half. Joel asks you about your friends, and you tell him about Alva.

"Oh yes," he says and swallows a bite of the muffin, "that punky lookin’ kid who sits next to you?"

"Yeah, she’s nice. Haven’t really met anyone else."

"Geez, I’m not keepin’ you from findin’ frat boys to hook up with, am I?"

You laugh, the idea of sitting here with a twenty-something year old kid named Cole or Josh instead of him so absurd, you can’t help it.

"No," you tell him, "I’m honestly enjoying the fact that I don’t have to have someone else in my dorm anymore."

"Well, that’s a relief to hear," Joel says, "they’re all dipshits."

You remember him telling you something similar about the boys in high school, and it makes you smile. He’s still got that protective streak, then.

"To tell you the truth, I’m glad you’re here," you say quietly, "if I’m not making any friends, I can come crying to you."

Joel watches you for a couple of seconds, not laughing as you intended, but taking your words seriously.

"Course you’ll make friends. Give it a couple of weeks, and you’ll have forgotten all about physics cause you’ll be skippin’ classes left and right to hang out with people."

You don’t tell him, but you think it’s very unlikely you’ll skip any of his classes. Still, you appreciate his words and how confident he seems to be in your ability to open up to people.

"Well, will you give me the answers to your exams if I skip your class?"

"No way," he says with a cheeky smile, the crinkles around his eyes prominent. "I don’t do preferential treatment. You wanna split another blueberry muffin?"

You grin.

"Thought you were watching your waistline."

"I am, that’s why I’m only eating halves."

***

Your afternoon with Joel leaves you on a high for the rest of the day, feeling much less lonely now that you’ve had a conversation beyond the usual so how many siblings do you have? and where did you do your undergrad?

You start spending your lunch breaks with Alva and some friends she made in another lecture, all of whom are very nice. In the evenings you all go to see a movie or have dinner together in any of your dorm rooms, and although you walk around campus holding out one eye for Joel, you don’t see him for the rest of the week. There is always a nudge of disappointment in your stomach, when you glance in the direction of his office, and the door is closed, but you’re so busy, you don’t dwell on it too much. The days pass in a blur of new lectures, swapping music with Alva, and evenings spent as a group of six, and suddenly it’s Sunday again. You aren’t too sad the weekend is already over, and you know exactly why you’re looking forward to Monday, but you don’t allow yourself to think about Joel any more than you can help.

In the afternoon, while you’re doing Joel’s assignment for the next class, your mother calls, and you answer the phone with a mixture of feelings.

Hi, my darling, how are you doing?

"Hi, Mom. I’m good, just doing my work for tomorrow. How are you?"

Good, good. How was your first week? Did you meet anyone nice?

Hah, if she only knew. It feels deceptive, not telling her about Joel, but you like that for now, he’s just yours.

"Yes, this girl called Alva. We and some guys hang out a lot, there’s a cinema near by, but the lectures are pretty hard, so we only have the evenings off."

Well, I’m glad you found some nice people! Dad says hi, he’s making dinner. Anyway, baby, we miss you terribly. Do you know when you’ll be coming home?

"I just got here, Mom."

You sigh so quietly your mother can’t hear it, guilt already nagging at your heart. Sunday is the day you would usually be coming home for dinner, and you know it’s no coincidence your parents called you now.

Of course, you’re right. It’s just not easy for your Dad and me, you know? You’ve never been this far from home, and you’re our baby.

Yeah, you think, your adult baby. You sigh again.

"I don’t know if I’ll come this month, I’m still sort of settling in. But I’ll let you know if there’s a free weekend next month, alright?"

Sure, that sounds great. Will you send us some pictures of your friends, and your room?

"Sure," you say, but it bugs you that you’re giving in. Already, you’re breaking the promise you made yourself, and letting your parents further into your life here than you’re comfortable with.

"Mom, I gotta go, I’ve still got some problems to solve and I’m meeting Alva for dinner soon."

Okay, darling, enjoy your night! And make yourself heard. I love you!

"Love you, too! Talk soon."

Your kind, clingy mother, whose greatest pain is not knowing if you’re safe. In a way you miss her, and you feel guilty for being annoyed. Still, you know you have to gently nudge her away from you, or she’ll suffocate you one day. It makes you angry with yourself, because you know your Mom would have liked nothing more than to hear all about your week, but as soon as she asked you a question, you felt like your seventeen year old self again, getting yelled at because you stayed up past your curfew, and your parents didn’t know where you were.

Tears of frustration spring to your eyes – the mix of feelings too much for you to handle. You wipe them away with the back of your hand, breathe in shakily, and try to focus on your assignment again, but now you’re riled up, and the tears won’t stop.

It’s hard for you to deal with disappointing your parents, forcing them away when they would like nothing more than to know everything that’s going on in your life. So, instead of preparing for Joel’s lecture, you cry on your bed, feeling lonely and angry with yourself for hurting them. You know your reaction is disproportionate, but everything you kept buried while you lived close to your parents comes bubbling out of you.

You call Alva, tell her you have cramps because of your period and just want to stay in bed. She’s understanding, asks you if there’s anything she can do, even offers to bring you takeout or a hot water bottle, which makes you feel all the worse for lying to her. You decline her offer, tell her you’ll meet her Monday morning. In the evening, you regret not letting her bring over a real meal, eating cold pasta in your underwear, tears still running down your face and making your head pound.

***

On Monday, you feel slightly better, your headache is gone and your face isn’t as puffy as you expected it to be. Still, you’re in a solitary mood, and are glad to find Alva is able to keep up an entire conversation virtually by herself – you just grunt from time to time, or give noncommittal movements of your head in vague agreement. You hope if she notices your bad mood, she just thinks it has to do with your period.

Computational Physics is hell – you dislike it on the best of days, but guilt ridden and tired, you’re barely able to pay attention at all, and the professor’s handwriting is so bad, you end up copying down Alva’s notes instead. She’s kind about it, slides over her notebook at an angle that makes it easy to read, and you make a mental note to thank her for being so kind to you while you’re offering nothing but a scowling expression all day. Maybe you’ll cook for her, or make a mixtape of your favorite songs, just to show her you’re interested in being actual good friends.

Lunch passes easily, as always you sit with Alva and the guys, and there’s enough people for you to stare at your mashed potatoes and repeatedly stab them with your fork instead of eating them. They taste like flour mixed up with water, and you dream up your father’s Sunday dinner instead, but it does little to help with the taste.

"So, you lookin’ forward to flirting with Miller in front of the whole lecture hall again?" Alva asks you, as you’re making your way to said room. You glare at her, but can’t help the corners of your mouth twitching.

"Wasn’t flirting with him," you answer, kicking a pebble, "I grew up across the street from him, I’ve known him practically my whole life."

"Whatever you say, grumpy," Alva teases, nudging your shoulder with hers. You’re overcome with a rush of gratitude for the way she treats you, persistently kind and humorous. You chuckle, your mood lifting slightly.

"He’s probably been waiting for you to turn legal," she continues, and you groan.

"Gross, Alva, he’s not a creep."

"I’m just saying, if your little connection gets you the answers to his tests, you could sell them and become rich."

"I already asked him, he said no," you say darkly, thinking of the nights you’ll have to spend studying to pass his exam. This makes Alva laugh her brilliant laugh, and you can’t help but smile, too.

"Damn," she grins, "I’d try if he wasn’t a guy."

You snort.

"You try with Professor Carter, I need the answers to Computational," you suggest, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

"You’re joking, but I bet once you get her out of her frumpy cardigans, she’s a real–"

"Okay, stop," you grown, the image of Professor Carter taking off her cardigans worse than her keeping them on – if possible. Alva giggles.

"I’ll help you with Computational," she says, "if you help me with Quantum Mechanics."

"You’re good at both," you argue, and Alva shrugs.

"Not like you, though. I spent like four hours doing Miller’s assignment last night."

You want to tell her you didn’t do it at all, but before you can open your mouth, she spots a friend in the crowd, grabs your arm and drags you over to him.

The three of you sit down together, closer to the front than the week before, which gives you a direct line of sight to Joel’s desk. When he walks in, your stomach jumps – he’s wearing a tie today, a dark burgundy or blue, you aren’t sure from this distance, flecked with specks of white. Again, his hair is styled in that carelessly disheveled look you like so much, and the image of him putting gel in it makes you smile. He gets out his materials for the lecture, and looks up, his eyes finding yours – you smile and he gives a small nod. Again you’re struck by how different he acts in front of the class, how serious he seems. You think of his laid back manner when you had coffee, and struggle to make the images align. Joel clears his throat, and the chatter around you stops.

"Quiet, please, everyone. Thank you. So, last week, we found out that Dirac’s equation predicts the existence of antiparticles. But instead of just accepting that, let’s think deeper—mathematically, what feature of the equation forces this conclusion?"

Joel jumps right into the lecture, and just like last week, nobody raises their hands – you curse the people around you for their lethargy, because sure enough, Joel’s eyes land on you. Before you can shake your head to signal to him not to ask you, he calls your name.

"If I remember correctly, you were already familiar with Dirac’s equation last week. What would you say, what does the existence of negative-energy solutions tell us, and why couldn’t we just ignore them?"

You wish you could answer him, know he asked you because he was sure you’d know the answer, perhaps hoped your enthusiasm for the subject would get the rest of the students to participate more, but you didn’t do the assignment, and you’ve already half forgotten his question. You swallow.

"Um…I…I’m not sure, Sir," you say, watching the way his brows furrow, and looking down at your notes. Alva shoots you a curious look, and when she sees your expression, she raises her hand. You’re thankful to have Joel’s attention diverted, feeling like a fool in front of hundreds of students you’re trying to make friends with.

"Dirac’s equation gives positive and negative energy solutions, and at first, the negative ones didn’t make sense. Dirac suggested they represent antiparticles, like the positron, which he predicted. The idea was that electrons could, like, jump into these negative-energy states, creating a hole that looks like a positron, which was later confirmed experimentally," Alva explains instead of you.

"You're close, but electrons don’t actually 'jump into' negative-energy states. Instead, Dirac proposed that these states are already filled, forming what he called the Dirac Sea. A positron isn’t an electron jumping down, it’s actually a 'hole' left when a negative-energy electron gets excited to a positive-energy state. That distinction is important because it explains why positrons have the opposite charge. Good answer, though, thank you Ms. Bennet."

Joel’s eyes flicker over to you again, but you show no reaction, and he continues with his lecture without asking you another question. Alva glances at you inquiringly, and you sigh.

"I wanted to do the assignment yesterday, but my cramps were really bad," you explain quietly, and she nods sympathetically.

"Call me next time, I’ll send you my answers," she whispers, and you smile gratefully. It seems you really hit the jackpot in friendship when you sat down next to Alva.

***

After Joel’s lecture, you and Alva make your way over to the vending machine, because it has the sour patches she likes, and in her own words she’ll combust if she doesn’t eat some right fucking now.

"Shit," she curses, "they’re stuck."

"Let me," a voice comes from a behind you, and when you turn around, Joel is smiling at the two of you. "Took me a while to figure this thing out, too."

Alva steps aside, and Joel bangs his palm against the side of machine. You jump, but the sour patches make their tumbling way down to the dispenser.

"Great! Thanks, Professor Miller," Alva says, ripping the bag open and offering it to the two of you. To your surprise, Joel takes her up on it, and Alva grins at you.

"You were quiet during today’s lecture," Joel says tentatively, when he’s swallowed his sour patch "everything alright?"

You glance at your shoes.

"Um, yeah. I wasn’t feeling well yesterday, and I left your assignment for last, so…I didn’t do it."

Joel’s expression grows worried, and Alva glances between the two of you.

"Hey, I’m meeting Max for coffee," she tells you, "see you later?"

"Yeah," you answer, grateful she’s granting you this time alone with Joel, "see you, Alva."

When she’s gone, Joel is still looking at you with that worried look on his face, and you sigh.

"Sorry about the assignment," you say, "won’t happen again."

"I’m not worried about the assignment," Joel says earnestly, but then he turns his head, and you know he doesn’t want someone listening in. Sure, you can be seen chatting in the university cafe, but this conversation is rapidly blurring the lines between scholarly and – something else.

"I…have some materials in my office that might make it easier for you to catch up with the lectures again," Joel tells you, and you understand the underlying meaning. Let’s talk in my office.

"Thank you," you say, relieved, and Joel nods, eyes still glued to yours, brows still furrowed. You walk to his office making smalltalk about the lecture, which to anyone listening in would seem like a normal conversation between a professor and an interested student.

Joel opens the door to his office for you, and lets you step in first. It’s small, cramped bookshelves on the walls and a sturdy desk in the middle that is littered with notes, pencils, books, and a couple of old coffee mugs. You notice he put part of his books sideways onto the shelves, which you find weirdly endearing. This is the Joel you know – clutter and warmth.

He closes the door behind you, and you turn around to watch him drop his bag and walk over to the kettle in the corner of the room.

"Coffee?"

"Please," you sigh, "if you don’t have anything stronger."

He raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t answer, just turns on the already filled kettle, and gets two clean cups for the two of you.

"I only have drip coffee," he tells you, "I don’t drink that crap the machines brew up."

"That’s fine, I enjoy the medieval feel of it."

"Watch it," he answers, a smile tugging on his lips, "don’t insult my coffee filter in front of me."

You grin, and walk over to his bookshelf to have a look.

"So, what’s going on?" he asks you while pouring the boiling hot water over the coffee grounds. Again, the Joel you remember – empathetic, but unusually direct. You sigh, turn around and shrug.

"Mom and Dad called yesterday, and I could tell they missed me, but I just…I cut them off after two minutes."

Joel places the cups on his desk, and leans against it. His sleeves are rolled up again, and when he crosses his arms, you feel that familiar pang in your stomach.

"And now I…I don’t know, I feel so guilty, Joel. They’re not even being dicks about it, but I just know they’d prefer for me to check in with them more…and the worst thing is, I know it’s not a big deal. They’ll get over it, they’ve got a good life without me constantly in it, so I don’t know why my stupid brain can’t just let this go, you know? One I miss you, darling, and I’m reduced to this pathetic mess, instead of just, I don’t know, getting my shit together."

You shake your head and clench your teeth, once again embarrassed to come crying to Joel about your parental issues, but he’s the only one you can tell. Sure, Alva would probably listen, but you don’t feel like explaining your family to a near stranger. Joel just gets it. Joel knows you.

He’s looking at you, arms still crossed, and for a second you worry he might not want to hear about your little breakdown, but then he sighs.

"You have your shit together all of the fuckin’ time, kid, I think that might be the problem," he tells you quietly. "You’ve always been so hard on yourself."

He’s right, once again he sees what you struggle to show the world, and his words make tears spring to your eyes. You will your eyeballs to suck them back in, but of course, Joel sees.

"Hey now," he says, taking a tentative step towards you. One tear drops from the end of your lashes and down your cheek, and the dam is broken again – they come spilling in floods. Joel crosses the room in a second, and there is a slight moment of hesitation between the two of you, before you bury your face in his chest, and let your restraint fall. You cry quietly, feel him wrap his arms around you, as he rocks you back and forth.

"You’re alright," he tells you, "Shhh, it’s okay, you’re alright."

"S-s-sorry about the assignment," you manage, and Joel’s hand starts stroking your back.

"Jesus, kid, stop worryin’ about the fucking assignment," he tells you, voice low and worried. "You don’t gotta be so strict with yourself. You’re doin’ just fine."

He smells so much like home, you think you might never stop crying.

"I don’t know what’s wrong with me," you hiccup, "One week here and I’m a mess already."

You feel Joel rest his chin on your head, and his arms tighten around you.

"There’s nothin’ wrong with you, you hear me? You hold yourself to high standards. Creates pressure, kid."

As always, he’s right of course – you want to excel academically, you don’t want to hurt your parents, you want to stay true to yourself and do what makes you happy, you want to make friends without compromising your grades. It’s impossible.

You breathe in shakily, your eyes closed, face buried in Joel’s chest, and for a second he is all that exists – just Joel, all around you, pulling you to the earth. Slowly, your breathing calms, Joel still rocking you soothingly, holding you close.

"There we go," he mutters, when your chest stops shaking, "that’s good."

When you pull away from him, he puts his hands on your shoulders to really look at you, and although you’re embarrassed by your outburst, you’re glad he doesn’t shy away from you.

"I want you to start being a little more lenient with yourself, alright? You don’t need to worry about an assignment on top of everything."

His hands are rubbing your shoulders, his eyes are kind and warm.

"Maybe not about yours, but I have like five other lectures –"

"Okay, so try to stop worrying about my assignments, just mine. Won’t bite your head off if you don’t do them, and I’ll only ask you questions when you raise your hand, alright? In fact, for the rest of the term, I want you to hand them in late."

Despite yourself, your lips pull up in a small smile.

"That’s silly, Joel," you say softly, but he shakes his head.

"It’s not silly, it’s practice to get you out of your comfort zone."

You consider his words for a moment. You do keep a pretty tight reign on yourself, and just the thought of doing every assignment late makes your skin crawl with anxiety. But when will you get another chance to step out of your comfort zone as safely as now, with Joel? He’s offering you a way to try it without actually risking your grades. And who knows, perhaps it actually will take a little bit of pressure off of you.

"Okay," you answer, staring up at Joel with puffy cheeks and teary eyes. "Alright."

He smiles at you, but he still looks worried and you wish he’d pull you close to him again. It’s such a relief to have this sort of human contact with someone who really knows you.

"Feel better?"

You sigh, and nod.

"It’s just a lot, you know, uni and my parents, and every social interaction feels like such a chore, cause I don’t know people yet. I feel like I’m not even relaxed when I’m asleep."

Joel hesitates for a moment, before he speaks, but when he does, he sounds determined.

"Come over tonight, I’ll make us somethin’ to eat, and you don’t have to worry about talkin’ to anyone. We’ll watch whatever you’d like. You still enjoy those crappy horror movies?"

You smile at the shared memory – Joel letting you use his living room to watch slashers your parents didn’t want you to see. One summer, when the heat was so stifling you barely went outside, you practically lived at his place, and when you’d seen all the DVDs he owned, he got you more from the video store.

"I do," you say quietly, the fact that Joel remembers more important to you than his proposal to spend the evening together. You feel significantly less alone, all of a sudden.

"Alright, then. Be over at seven,“ Joel tells you, and you nod, wiping your wet face with the back of your hand.

"Thank you, Joel," you say, and hug him again, because you don’t know how to tell him in words what you’re feeling, and his big, warm body against yours feels more than soothing.

"Course, kid. Just don’t tell Alva, or they’ll fire me."

You smile, your arms still wrapped around his neck, as he holds you.

"But I don’t wanna get you in trouble, what if–"

"No," Joel interrupts you, "no what ifs. No worryin’. I forbid it."

And you accept it, leave it to Joel, because he tells you to – because you don’t have any room in your head for more worries, and because you trust Joel not to do anything reckless. You trust him, period.

***

You text Alva you’re having dinner alone, that your cramps are still acting up, and you do feel slightly bad for lying, but you would never risk Joel’s job. The idea of having dinner with him at his place should make you nervous after your change in feelings about him, but you’re just looking forward to having a meal with someone who knows you, and lets you be yourself.

Joel asked you to be there at seven, so you spend the rest of the afternoon in your dorm room, wondering if you should change your outfit or if it would seem desperate – in the end, you keep the jeans but change into a blouse instead of a sweater. The part of you that stares at Joel’s forearms during class now wants to look pretty for him, so that he’ll ask you over again. You know you’re being ridiculous, but it doesn’t stop you from putting on your nicest perfume.

You’re ten minutes early, so you sit in your little second hand car and try not to panic. You know Joel is merely trying to be a good…friend? Ex-neighbor, Dad’s best friend turned professor? There’s no real etiquette to cling to in this situation, for either of you, and although you’re positive Joel doesn’t have any ulterior motives with you despite his flirting, you know he could lose his job if someone finds out you went to his house. Even if you just watch slashers together the way you did ten years ago. It makes you anxious to know he’d risk something clearly important to him for just that – he moved to a different state, quit his old job, started over completely, and is now willing to endanger that new life just because you’re stressed. At the same time it seems ridiculous anyone could forbid the two of you to spend time together after having known each other your entire life. The thought is absurd, and still, you need to be careful.

You get out of the car before you start to hyperventilate, and ring Joel’s doorbell – it feels strange for him to live in a new house. He opens the door with a smile, and absurd relief floods your veins when you realize he’s wearing an old Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of worn jeans. This is your Joel.

"I come bearing gifts," you announce, stepping into the house.

“Christ, where did you get this?”, Joel asks, taking the six pack of beer from you, so you can take off your jacket. “I didn’t know they sold Shiner Bock outside of Texas, I’ve been survivin’ on Bud”.

“Brought it with me,” you explain, “figured it’d help if I got homesick, you know, in multiple ways.”

You grin, and Joel shakes his head good-naturedly.

“Old enough to drink, well I’ll be damned. I remember when you begged your Dad to let you have a coke and he asked me if I thought the caffeine would stunt your growth.”

“Did it?”

“It might’ve,” Joel says with a chuckle, “but he didn’t let you have it.”

“Well, he isn’t here now, so let’s put those in the fridge.”

“No," Joel mutters, “no, he ain’t.”

While Joel puts the beer away, you take a look around his living room – despite your reservations about the new house, it reminds you of his old place. It’s got the same masculine and warm feel to it, dark wood, books all over the place, no bells and whistles. Joel is a practical man, and it’s charmingly etched into every part of his life – except for his new work-look. The room isn’t as cluttered as you remember Joel’s old house back in Texas, but you assume he hasn’t had time to accumulate clutter yet. No old newspapers are lying around, no birthday cards stacking up. You wonder if he’s lonely here, teaching all by himself, hundreds of miles away from the place he last grew roots in.

“Do you miss home?” you ask him, when he comes back from the kitchen with two bottles of beer in his hands. He looks at ease, much more himself than back at university. His jeans are faded, his shirt a little too big on his already broad frame, and his hair is clean and curly the way you like it – no gel twisting it into all sorts of un-Joel-like styles. Warmth floods your chest at the sight of him taking a swig of his beer. His crowfeet are a little more pronounced, and his hair has more grey strands than it did back home, but he’s still got that distinctly warm, no-nonsense feel to him.

“Sometimes,” he answers, offering you the second bottle. Your hand brushes his when you take it from him. “But I’m pretty busy here, you know, got a whole lotta lectures to plan, papers to grade and that sort of stuff.”

You nod, and sip at your beer.

“Have you…you know, met people? Made friends here?”

Joel plops down on the couch, and smiles up at you.

“You worried about my social life?”

You shrug, and smile almost timidly.

“You know me, kid, I like bein’ by myself.”

That’s true, for as long as you’ve known Joel, he’s been alone. You know he has nieces and nephews who adore him, and your Dad mentioned a woman once, but it must have been at least twenty years since they were together. You wonder why Joel doesn’t seem to want that sort of a domestic life, surely many women would be happy to let him put a ring on them.

You walk over to the window, and watch a blackbird tug at a writhing worm.

“Have you met someone at uni you wanna be by yourself with?” you ask with a small grin, turning back to find Joel already watching you. “I heard Professor Carter’s still single.”

“She’s very intelligent,” Joel says earnestly. You give him credit for not laughing about his colleague, and suddenly you feel bad for calling her frumpy with Alva. “But I think I’ll leave her to her simulations. Why am I bein’ interrogated?”

“Sorry,” you mumble, and glance out of the window again, “just making conversation.”

“Your turn, then,” Joel answers, and takes another swig of beer. “Any frat boys catch your eye? Or frat girls?”

You glance at him, a smile on your lips, and raise your eyebrows.

“Hey, I don’t discriminate. I thought, maybe Alva…”

“No,” you answer, feeling fond of him for considering the possibility. “Alva’s a friend. The guys are…well, they’re frat boys.”

 Your voice carries enough disgust for Joel to laugh.

“Right,” he says, and his eyes are warm when they meet yours again. “Just us two loners, then."

“Cheers,” you say with a smile.

“Cheers.”

***

Joel’s cooking is a mystery to you – he loves to eat, and when he does cook, it’s always delicious, but he only ever makes one of five dishes. Again, that practicality shining through. Why try something new if you’ve perfected your routine? He made pasta for you, wasn’t sure if you’re still vegetarian and makin’ your Dad’s hair fall out, and you smile into the neck of your beer bottle, when you watch him drizzle dressing onto a carefully arranged side-salad. Throughout dinner, you tell him how much you love it at least five times, because you can tell he put effort into the meal. You know it’s not technically a date, but having a dinner he made just for you, in his home – it feels like one.

You steer the conversation away from heavy topics like your parents. Although Joel offered you this evening to make you feel better, you want to spend it with him rather than in your head, so you ask him about books and music, about his lectures, about Tommy and the kids. You like watching how his face lights up whenever he talks about something he particularly loves. Joel is a quiet man, but you found out years ago it isn’t shyness, but a disinterest in most mundane topics – he doesn’t like gossip or superficial small talk. When he tells you Tommy made him godfather of all of his children, the pride is evident in his voice, and you don’t have to fake your enthusiasm, although it amuses you, too – Tommy loving his big brother enough not to consider anyone else.

"She calls me uncle Joe," he tells you with a chuckle, "Can’t pronounce her Ls yet, but I’ve considered legally changing my name."

When you’re done eating, you help him clear the table, but when you reach for the sponge to do the dishes, Joel shakes his head.

"Let me do that later, kid. You wanna watch a movie?"

So the two of you plop down on the couch with a bag of M&Ms and another round of beer, and Joel hands you the remote.

"Go wild," he says, chuckling when you excitedly turn on he TV to open Netflix.

"Wow, a streaming service? I thought you’d just hoard DVDs for the rest of your life."

Joel huffs, and instead of answering, he leans forward, and reaches for something under his couch table. When he turns his head, he’s got glasses on his face, thick-rimmed and black, and so startlingly sexy, you almost drop the remote.

"You…you’ve got glasses?"

"Yeah," he answers, his eyes meeting yours, and you swallow. "When your eyesight deteriorates, that’s when you know you’re gettin’ old."

You hum but don’t answer, just hold his gaze for a second and look back to the screen. You try to ignore the familiar pang in your stomach at the sight of Joel in his new glasses, and skip through movie after movie, mumbling seen it, seen it, that one sucks, seen it, until Joel reaches over and snatches the remote from you.

"Hey–"

"I can’t read anything if you skip through them that quickly."

"You’re not supposed to read, you’re supposed to go with the vibe of the cover."

He glances at you with furrowed brows.

"Okay, sorry, didn’t know you’re a filmbro," you grumble, but it’s almost entirely fake – you couldn’t be annoyed with him, not when he pushes his glasses up his nose, and carefully considers which button to press on the remote.

"I don’t know what that means," he answers, and starts reading the description of a romantic comedy about Christmas.

"I’m not watching that."

"You don’t even know what it’s about."

"It’s September, Joel."

He huffs again, but finally reaches the horror movies. Surprisingly, it doesn’t take the two of you long to pick one, and the thought of two hours of brainless, scary entertainment on a couch with Joel makes you practically melt into his couch.

You can feel Joel’s eyes on you during the opening credits, so you glance over and he smiles.

"Comfy?" he asks, his voice hoarse from relaxation.

"Yeah," you answer, and smile when hands you a blanket. He’s not exactly close to you, but it still feels a little intimate when you spread the blanket out and offer him the other end. He moves over a little, so that the blanket covers his legs, and when you concentrate you can feel his body heat next to you, so you try hard not to – and instead get lost in the movie.

It’s not particularly good, but the story does get under your skin a little, and when there’s an unexpected shriek, you violently jump and instinctively move closer to Joel. He chuckles, but doesn’t give any reaction to your arm suddenly pressing against his. He doesn’t move away, either, so you don’t, fear suddenly not being the only thing bubbling up in your stomach.

"Jesus," you mumble, the creeping music making you anticipate another jumpscare. You’re right, it does come, but prepared though you are, you still wince, and turn away from the screen slightly. Out of sight, out of mind. Joel turns around, too, and when he sees your widened eyes, he grins.

"How’s that Christmas movie lookin’ now?"

"I’m not scared," you say, and there is some truth to it, "I’m just not good with jumpscares."

When the next one comes, you can’t help it, you clutch his arm next to you, your nails digging into his firm muscle, and Joel glances at you again.

"Sorry," you say quickly, letting go of his forearm now marked with five tiny crescent shapes. "Jesus, Joel, sorry."

"It’s fine," he says, and the amusement is evident in his voice, "you sure you’re into this? There might be some cartoons–"

He stops talking when you glare at him, but his mouth is twitching under his beard. You’re determined to watch the entire movie, and you try not to let any reaction show, wanting to prove Joel wrong.

There is one particularly scary scene – it’s not necessarily violent, but the music and shaky camera movements make your pulse race, and you turn your head slightly, so as to look at something else. Joel glances at you again, but he doesn’t laugh this time, just puts a heavy hand on your shoulder. It’s grounding, the warmth of it, how his thumb digs into your muscle and his fingers spread out over your back and neck.

"You don’t gotta force yourself to watch this, kid," Joel says gently, all teasing humor gone.

"No," you say stubbornly, but move even closer to him. His touch is a welcome distraction from the movie, and although you know it’s stupid and reckless, you lean into him, and Joel puts his arm around you. It’s closer than you’ve been to him except for hugging, and your heartbeat starts to quicken for all the wrong, non-horror reasons. When you flinch, Joel tugs you against his side, and it feels natural to hide your face in his shoulder.

He was never touchy with you, or anyone for that matter, so something must have changed. You wonder if he’s trying to comfort you, or if you might not be the only one who can feel that strange pull between the two of you.

When the movie ends, Joel regrettably removes his arm from around your shoulders to switch off the TV, and although you’re slightly disappointed, you scold yourself for expecting something else.

"Not bad," Joel says with a small smile, and pushes his glasses up his nose. "Very brave."

You scoff, but feel the corners of your mouth twitching, too.

"I used to be less of a wimp, but I guess you soften with age."

"You’re twenty-three," Joel argues, "that’s young."

Yeah, too young. Too young to lean over and kiss him, or climb into his lap, or expect anything other than paternal care when he’s got his arm around you. You look at your lap, all of a sudden feeling stupid and silly for having dreamed up an absurd fantasy about the man in front of you.

"Hey," Joel says gently, "what’s wrong?"

"Nothing," you say quickly, "nothing, I had a really great evening. Thanks, Joel."

You can tell you’ve confused him, but he nods, doesn’t question your sudden change of mood, and stands when you get up from the couch.

"Anytime, kid. You call me if you’re havin’ a bad time, alright? My door’s always open."

He’s so kind, so recklessly, stupidly, lovingly kind, and all of it is directed at you. You curse yourself for it, but again you feel that familiar burn in your eyes. Joel reaches out and easily pulls you towards his big body, hugging you the way he did in his office just this afternoon. He doesn’t ask you what brought on your tears, just lets you cry into his Led Zeppelin shirt that smells so much like home, like a childhood you won’t get back to. You remember whiffs of that smell when you were watching movies on his couch while he was at work, too pissed off at your parents to spend the summer at home. This scent was there when you attended a neighborhood barbecue after fighting with your father and Joel grilled some vegan sausages for you without comment or question. He’s always looked out for you like this, quietly, without demanding an explanation, just a solid, comforting presence in your life.

Your tears stop after a couple of minutes, and you take a step away from Joel, wiping your face. He looks so worried again, brows all furrowed and arms hanging limply at his side. Didn’t he flirt with you, though? Didn’t he prepare dinner for you the way a date would, ask you about your dating life, ask you to coffee? You don’t think you would be able to handle another evening like this one not knowing what Joel really thinks, so in a moment of hazy recklessness, you lean up.

His eyes meet yours, all warm and strangely unguarded, but before your lips brush his, a hand on your shoulder stops you. Without saying something, you move away from him, and nod to yourself, his reaction all the information you needed.

"Sorry," you say very quietly, not managing much else now that you’ve humiliated yourself in front of the only person you really know in a six hundred mile radius. Joel runs a hand through his soft hair, and inhales deeply.

"No," he says, his voice a little strained, "no, don’t be. I just…Jesus, kid."

He rubs his palm over his beard in such a familiar way, your chest aches a little. It’s ridiculous how much you want to touch his face, to feel him again, skin on skin. So you don’t turn and run the way your embarrassed heart is telling you to, just watch him collect his thoughts, standing in front of him like a wet and beaten dog.

"Look," he begins, "I won’t say I’m not flattered, but that’s…it’s a bad fuckin’ idea. It’s…it’s chaos, and on top of that most people would argue it’s wrong."

You swallow. You know all of this, have turned it over in your head ever since you stared at Joel’s rolled up sleeves for two hours on that first Monday, but hearing him say it makes your stomach churn.

"Yeah," you mutter, and trace Joel’s shadow with the very tip of your foot, "yeah, of course. Sorry I put you in that position, wasn’t right."

Your face still feels puffy, and you know you’re probably all red and pathetic looking, begging Joel for scraps of his attention, but all of a sudden, he lifts his hand up to your face, and cups it in his broad palm. His thumb strokes your cheek, and when you meet his eye, the expression on his face is tender.

"It’s alright," he tells you softly, "I can see you worryin’ at the speed of light in that pretty head of yours."

Something in your chest flutters at his words, at the rough and warm cadence of his voice. He reads you so easily, one turn of your head and he knows you’re lost to your thoughts.

"I shouldn’t have let myself toy with this idea," he continues, and your stomach flips. "I should’ve realized you’d pick up on it. It’s on me, alright? It’s on me not to start anythin’."

You can hear the implication – I’m the adult here. It’s not what you want to hear, but just the mention of Joel toying with this idea, as he put it, is enough to lift your spirits. So you weren’t crazy.

"I’m an adult," you say weakly, never having felt more like a child. Joel nods.

"You are, but I’m still in a position of power here. Be wrong, to abuse that."

His thumb is still moving over your cheek slowly, making it hard to think straight.

"So dinner and a movie doesn’t abuse it?"

You don’t want to argue, you don’t know why you keep disagreeing with him, and the way his face falls, you wish you hadn’t said it.

"No, it…it does, you’re right. Jesus, of course it does. I don’t blame ya for bein’ ang-"

"I’m not angry," you say softly, and tentatively turn your head in Joel’s hand. You press a kiss to his palm, his warm skin pressed right against your mouth. "I’m not your student, Joel. I mean, of course I am, but I know you. It’s different."

Joel’s eyes are glued to your face, and he looks so conflicted you wish he’d just throw you out of his house, if only to solve his dilemma.

"It’s still wrong," Joel mutters, his eyes glued to your lips since they brushed his skin "even if you take away the fact that I’m your fuckin’ professor. Your Dad…"

"My Dad is half a continent away and finds a way to be unhappy with whatever choices I make, so I might as well make the ones I want to."

The very first day, before you even met Joel, you decided to do what makes you happy while in university, and although this certainly wasn’t what you had in mind, you know it’s what you want. The only thing you want, in fact.

Joel sighs, and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Joel, I’m not trying to…look, if I’m wrong about this, just tell me, but I feel…I just wanna be close to you all of the fucking time," you say quietly, "and it’s okay if you don’t, really. I just…I want you to know it’s not nothing to me."

Saying I don’t just want to hook up with you would feel too straight forward or crass, but you think Joel gets the gist of what you’re trying to say, and he closes his eyes briefly. You study his face behind his glasses, the wrinkles and freckles from years in the sun. You do feel anxious about his answer, but whatever it is, you’re glad you told him. It’s out in the world now, the way you feel when he holds you, and he can do with it what he pleases – you’ve handed him the reigns.

"I…I know what you mean. Me too," he says very quietly after a beat, his eyes open and looking directly into yours again.

A triumphant pang of affection pulses through you, and you put your hand over Joel’s, which is still resting on your cheek. He looks conflicted, but his other hand holds your waist now, and tugs your smaller body closer to his again. He’s solid as a brick wall in front of you, and you figure you’re allowed to touch, so you rest your hand on his shoulder.

"What am I gonna do with you?" Joel mutters, and strokes your lower lip with his thumb. If you had more guts, you’d let it slip into your mouth, but you’re still afraid he’ll pull back if you make a wrong move, so you just let him caress your mouth tenderly.

"Whatever you’d like," you answer just as quietly, and you know it sounds sexual, but you mean it in every way – if Joel wants to be nothing but your professor, you’d take it, and if he wants to keep you here in his house indefinitely, you’d let him. Joel keeps looking at you, taking you in as if he’s considering whether the risks outweigh whatever magnetic or gravitational pull the two of you have between you.

"Stay," he say after a while, and although his face looks slightly regretful, his voice is determined, "just…sleep here tonight. I like havin’ you here."

You want him to kiss you, to pull you onto his lap on the couch, to take you upstairs right now, but Joel seems to be restraining himself, so you just nod.

"Me too," you whisper, echoing his words back to him, and for just a second, his thumb digs into your lip a little harder, but then he pulls away.

"Testin’ my goddamn restraint," he mutters, and takes a step away from you. "I’ll get you something to sleep in."

***

Joel gets you one of his band tees you love so dearly, and just the idea of being enveloped by something that smells like him all night makes it a little easier when Joel tells you he’ll take the couch instead of inviting you to sleep with him in his bed.

"No," you say softly, "it’s fine, you just sleep in your bed, Joel. I’ll take the couch."

He looks critical, so you offer him a soft smile.

"I don’t know if your back could take it," you tease, and he seems torn up between laughing and frowning. In the end, he just shakes his head, mutters something that sounds a lot like bad fuckin’ idea, and gets you a blanket and pillow.

He brings you a clean toothbrush and towel, let’s you use his bathroom (you look at the shower the entire time you’re brushing your teeth, trying hard not to think about what Joel looks like using it in the mornings), and when you’re done changing, you unlock the door again.

He’s there, sitting on the edge of his bed, his eyes trailing over your form in his much too big shirt. It’s long as a dress on you, coming down to your naked thighs. Joel visibly swallows and gets up from the bed.

"You got everythin’ you need?"

"Yes. Thank you, Joel."

There’s a beat of silence and you almost think Joel’s about to cross the room, but he just runs his palm over his beard the way he always does, and nods.

"Alright. Just shout if there’s…well, you know. I’ll be here."

"I will."

"Alright. Okay…goodnight, kid."

"Night," you almost whisper, voice soft, and right before you reach the door, Joel clears his throat.

"I…you were right about dinner and the movie. I wasn’t just tryin’ to be friendly," he says quietly, and your stomach swirls. Before you can walk over to Joel and do something about it, he sighs.

"Sleep tight, sweetheart."

Sweetheart.

***

You wake to the sound of something dripping, and when your eyes flutter open, you can see Joel’s back from the kitchen. He’s wearing his work outfit again, a white button down and dark pants, sleeves rolled up. It smells like coffee, and with a smile you realize he must be brewing his beloved coffee – no machine, just a filter. He looks broad, even from your spot on the couch, and you enjoy peeking in on him. You study his movements, the way he reaches for a cup, how his fingers absentmindedly drum on the kitchen counter while he waits.

When he turns around, his eyes find yours, and he smiles.

"Mornin’. Did I wake ya?"

"’S fine," you yawn, pulling the blanket up to your chin, not yet ready to get up. "I have classes at ten anyway."

"’S eight," Joel tells you, "Coffee?"

"Yes please," you answer, and stretch your limbs under the blanket.

Joel brings you a cup, complete with a little bit of milk and sugar, and you move your feet so he can sit down on the couch.

"Sleep well?"

You sip your coffee, let it burn your tongue and close your eyes at the taste. When you open them, Joel’s gaze lingers on your face.

"Yeah," you answer, "thank you for…you know."

He nods, takes a sip of his coffee, and looks at his lap. He looks like he wants to say something, but he’s very quiet, and you feel anxiety bubbling up in your stomach.

"Joel, do you want me to leave? It’s fine if you do," you ask him softly, not wanting to make things awkward for him. It would be rational of him to ask you to leave, the smart and ethical thing to do.

"No," he answers quietly, still not looking at you, "I want you to stay."

Stay? On a Tuesday morning, after you almost kissed him and he told you he couldn’t do that, after you spent the night on his couch? When you have classes in two hours, haven’t showered yet, are half naked and wearing his clothes, on his couch under his blanket? When you’ve got friends wondering where you are and probably ten unanswered messages from Alva?

"Alright," you say, agreeing as easy as breathing.

Finally, he looks up, and his expression is so conflicted you reach out for him. Your hand finds his and you squeeze it. He keeps looking at you, his hand limp in your grasp, as if any movement of his muscles would incriminate him.

"You shouldn’t," he tells you earnestly. "Stay, I mean. You shouldn’t stay."

"I know."

You don’t let go of his hand. He doesn’t move his away.

"It’s a really, really bad idea," he adds, and you’re not sure who he is trying to talk out of whatever this is. "It’s risky. Could blow up both our lives."

"Yeah," you say, and watch him sip his coffee, "okay."

Then, a tentative flex of his fingers against yours, and finally, he’s squeezing your hand just as tightly, and before you can process what that means, Joel is leaning over you, dangerously close. Your breathing quickens, you register how soft his hair looks, how strong his hand is. He leans in further and you sit up a little, still cocooned in his blanket. His face is close to yours, his eyes fiery with something you can’t pinpoint, and you sigh, when he closes the gap between you.

He tastes of coffee and toothpaste, and you wish you’d gotten the chance to shower, but the thought disappears almost immediately when you hear Joel groan. His kisses you languidly, deeply, and your fingers come up to his beautiful arm, barely wrapping around half of his biceps. He cradles the side of your face, pulls you closer, makes your stomach clench with need. It feels inevitable, the way he touches you, like you only exist in a physical form to be touched by him.

His free hand peels the blanket off your body, lets it slide to the floor without ever stopping his the kiss, and you moan softly, when his hand touches your waist. The sound makes him break away, stare down at you, pupils blown wide.

"Fuck, you look good in my clothes," he mutters, nudging your jaw with his nose, and pressing a kiss there. "You should really, really go home."

Your head falls back slightly to give him better access to your neck, and he brushes his lips over your pulse point. Your heart skips a beat.

"I – I know," you breathe, fingers digging into his arm. His beard scratches your skin deliciously, and it takes everything in you not to whimper or beg. Joel’s hand slips under your shirt – his shirt – and instead of finding your waist again, he digs his thumb into your hip, stroking the fabric of your cotton panties. The fire in your stomach burns brighter, and you almost buck up into him. Joel Miller, the Joel Miller who until recently had a key to your childhood home, who lent it to you whenever you forgot yours inside – he’s sucking bruises into your skin, and toying with your panties. It’s dizzying, his familiar voice when he hums in satisfaction, even rougher than usually.

His fingers trace the waistband of your panties towards the front, until they find a small, silky bow, and Joel groans. He doesn’t take your underwear off, doesn’t even touch you where you need him the most, just keeps playing with the little bow, until your hips twitch without your permission. A little lower, and he would be able to feel how wet you are, how wet you have been all night. You didn’t do anything about it, not while you were a guest in his house. It would have felt wrong. You can’t imagine anything feeling more right than Joel’s mouth and hands on you, though.

"Jesus," Joel curses, "I should stop bef–"

"No," you whine, all dignity turned to hot air by Joel’s fingers, "please, Joel, please don’t stop."

He curses again, and moves his big body so that he’s not just hovering above you, but actually on top of you, your thighs falling open for him easily. At the movement, his shirt hikes up your thighs, and you know you’re basically on display for him, your soaked underwear leaving little to the imagination. He’s still fully clothed, his perfect button down all wrinkled now.

"Look at you," Joel breathes, lightheaded with desire, "this all for me?"

So he saw, when you moved to accommodate his broad form, saw how soaked you are, knows you ruined your panties just because he kissed you.

"Yes," you breathe, "yes, please–"

Before you can beg further, his finger presses down on your clit, and he watches your face contort in pleasure, as it shoots up your spine. You whimper, staring into his eyes, and he stares right back, as you start to grind your hips against his palm.

Your head feels blissfully empty, all worries about this relationship, uni, your parents, gone from you with a simple, practiced movement of his hand. The whimpers keep falling from your lips, and Joel curses.

"So beautiful," he mutters, "tell me what you need, angel."

It’s not a question, it’s an order.

"I – fuck, I need you i–inside," you groan, and Joel’s lips find yours again.

"Yeah? Need me to fuck you good, even though they’ll throw us both out?"

It shouldn’t turn you on. You’re jeopardizing both your own and Joel’s career, and he’s turning it into dirty talk. Still, your pussy doesn’t lie, and the way it throbs for him, aching to get him inside, makes all doubts disappear from your mind.

"Yes," you answer, unable to say much more as Joel keeps drawing tight circles into your clit.

Your hands drift from his arms towards his front, and Joel curses, when you paw at his belt buckle. It takes you a second, but then it’s open, the sound of the metal exciting you – it sounds like a promise.

Joel finally tugs your panties down, and for a second you’re self–conscious about not being clean shaven, but the second he sees you bare and glistening for him, his fingers dip into your folds, gathering your wetness with no hesitation.

"Fuck me," he groans, bringing his hand up to his face and tasting you, holding eye–contact the entire time, "prettiest pussy I’ve seen in my life."

You twitch under him, dragging your gaze away from his eyes and to his fingers. A moan escapes you, your hands have gone slack on his waistband, and Joel smiles down at you. Then, he does the same motion again, drags the tips of his thick fingers through your sticky arousal, but instead of sucking them clean himself, he holds them up to your mouth. His eyes burn, when you wrap your lips around them without a moments hesitation, and he feeds you your own slick.

"Taste so sweet, huh?"

You don’t answer, just swirl your tongue around his fingers, and suck on them. Joel watches your mouth intently, lets you take your time.

"Good girl," he praises you, and you clench around nothing, "so fuckin’ needy for me."

He drags his fingers from your mouth, and finally pushes into you, the stretch much tighter than with two of your own. Your head falls backwards, and Joel curls his fingers.

"No, baby, look down here," he orders, and immediately you lift your head again, and watch him pump two thick digits in and out of you. It’s dizzying to think it’s the same hand that waved to you from over his fence for years and years. You feel a coil building in your stomach, and you moan.

"Fuck, Joel," you moan, his name leaving a delicious aftertaste in your mouth. His beautiful forearm flexes with every movement, your slick is dripping down his fingers, and those damn sleeves are still perfectly rolled up.

With a few more curls of his fingers, you gush around him, barely having time to warn him, and he praises you, calls you his good girl, drags his fingers against that spongey spot inside of you until you see stars.

When he slips his fingers out of you and holds them up to your face again, you clean them up with your mouth as Joel watches with bright eyes. To think that he’s the same man who taught you Dirac not twenty-four hours ago – already, you want him inside again. When you’re done, he fumbles with his own clothes, and you watch him this time instead of helping.

"You look so good like this," you mumble, eyes raking over his broad form, "Professor."

His eyes snap up to yours, and you grin.

"Fuckin’ Christ, kid," he mutters, popping open the buttons on his shirt, "you can’t say shit like that."

"You don’t like it? You know, I watched you during your lectures and dreamed about…well, about this."

His expression is unreadable, but if you’re not mistaken, his hands move even faster now, and then he shrugs out of his shirt. You almost moan at the sight of his naked torso, so broad and solid.

"You need to pay attention in class," Joel answers, as he opens his pants. Your breathing grows a little shallow when he reveals his boxers underneath, his bulge huge.

"Can’t," you mumble, "not with you looking like this."

He chuckles at that, at the honesty and need in your answer.

"Don’t worry," he says softly, "I’ll fuck it outta you. Won’t be needing’ me in class, not if I’m still leakin’ out of you."

Your lips part, your pussy clenches – a smile tugs on the corners of Joel’s mouth at your reaction. He drags down his boxer shorts, and your eyes snap towards his cock, so thick and dripping in precum. You whimper, you can’t help it, and Joel’s smile widens.

"We’ll make it fit, baby," he says, reading your mind, and then bends down and kisses you again. You try to tug your shirt upwards, but Joel’s hands find your wrists and he holds them tight.

"No, want to fuck you in it," he breathes against your lips, and you press your hips upwards until he groans. He pumps his fist over his cock a couple of times, and aligns it with your entrance.

"Deep breath, baby," he mutters, and you obey, staring up at him as he starts pressing into you. It’s tight, much tighter than his two fingers, and your eyes glass over with pain, but Joel goes slow. His hand strokes your tummy, helps you relax, while he pushes on consistently. You feel like he’s punching the air from your lungs, eyes wide with the stretch of him, as he nips at your jaw and neck to distract you.

"Know it’s a lot, but you can take it, angel."

"Y-yes," you moan, and screw your eyes shut, "please don’t stop, Joel."

 Joel’s breathing is ragged with restraint, and suddenly his hips snap forwards – and he’s fully buried inside of your tight body, nestled right against your cervix.

"Back to Joel, are we?" he teases, and gives you a couple of seconds to get used to him. You whimper and claw at his arm.

"I – ah – I’ll call you Professor Miller ’f you want," you slur, as he starts dragging his cock out of you again. You tremble under him, the feeling almost more intense than when he pushed inside of you.

"Yeah? That get you off? Or – fuck–  is it the fact that I’m friends with your parents?"

It really, really should be a turn off, to be talking about your parents right now, but the way Joel says it, the way he points out just how debauched it is what you’re doing – you can’t help but moan. You blush, too, can feel the heat in your face, but you’re tired of being ashamed of wanting him the way you do.

"Both," you answer, and this time Joel groans, his hips snapping into you at a rougher pace. The head of his cock hits your spot every time, and you let out little sounds of pleasure with every drag of his cock, unable to form a coherent sentence. Joel’s hand finds your clit again, rubbing circles as his other one pressing down on your stomach.

"Feel that?" he asks you, and you do, you feel him all up in your guts, "you take it so well baby, take all ’f me."

"Yes," you answer, eyes glassy with pleasure, "want all of you, Joel."

He bites your shoulder, keeps rutting into you, and soon you feel another orgasm building.

"Close – ah – so close," you whimper, and Joel speeds up his thrusts just slightly. You clench around him, right on the edge.

"Come for me, angel, give it to me."

You do, your hips bucking, back arching.

"Ah – fuck, Joel, Prof–"

"Say it," Joel orders, fucking you through the waves of pleasure.

"Professor."

He comes, too, twitching deep inside of you and spilling rope after rope of come. It feels right, like you’re his. His groan is rough, his thrusts sloppy, and you feel your pussy spasm around him in a third, weaker orgasm, or maybe it’s just aftershocks from your second. You’re limp underneath him, letting him use your body how he needs to.

"Fuck," he curses, "did so good for me."

He slips out of you, and you can feel his spend drip out of you. You’re weak, soft like jelly, sweaty and entirely satisfied.

"Jesus," you breathe, when he falls down next to you, his couch mercifully being big enough.

"Yeah," he answers, "Jesus."

***

Turns out, Joel Miller is a dirty talking bastard during sex, and a big softie afterwards. He makes you tea, strokes your hair while you sip it, then carries you up to his shower and gently washes your body his his sponge. Throughout, he’s quiet, and you wonder if it was too much, the mention of him being your professor, of your parents, but you’re too afraid to ask. He brushes your forehead with his lips when he dries you off, and pulls another of his shirts over you head. Your panties are entirely ruined, it’s all you’re wearing.

When you’re clean again, and relaxed, Joel pulls you onto his bed, wrapping you up in his arms.

"Did you…was that too much?" he asks you softly fingertips tracing over your thigh lazily.

"It was just right," you answer quietly, and he hums.

"You didn’t feel like you…I mean when you called me Professor, you wanted to do that, right?"

You look up at him, and press a soft kiss against his jaw.

"Of course, Joel. Wanted everything we did, I promise."

He nods, but you can tell there’s still something bothering him.

"You know that’s not what you are to me, though, right?" Your voice is soft. "You’re just Joel."

He brushes the top of your head with his lips.

"I mean it," you press on when he doesn’t answer, "it’s like a costume, Joel. I know it’s your job, but it’s…I don’t think of you as like, an authority figure or something. I just thought you looked hot in that slutty shirt."

"Slutty–?" he sputters and you laugh.

"Sure, you know, with your sleeves rolled up, and that first button popped open."

"’S not slutty."

"You showed your forearms. Half the lecture hall felt like a victorian man seeing ankles for the first time."

Joel makes an exasperated sound, half amused and half offended.

"I mean it," you say again after beat, humor gone from your tone, "and it’s not just sex to me. You know that."

"Yeah," Joel answers slowly. "’S more to me, too."

It’s a hell of an admission.

"What are we gonna do?", you ask quietly, and Joel sighs.

"You’re gonna go to class," he says, voice dark, "and I’ll try very, very hard not to call your father and tell him I’m fallin’ for his daughter."

You bury your face in his chest. With anyone else, it would be too much, too fast, too intense. But this is Joel. It’s not fast if you’ve known him your whole life, is it? You kiss his chest, and he seems to understand.

"We’ll figure it out," Joel says quietly, pressing a kiss to your hair.

For a second you do want your parents to know, want them to see that someone does treat you like an adult, want to look them in the eye and say I’m with Joel now and there’s nothing you can do about it. I have my own life now and it includes this kind man. It’s childish, you know it is. You lean up, catch Joel’s mouth in a kiss.

"Yeah," you answer, “We’ll figure it out, Professor.”

[retiredteabag]

learning together

• parental Gojo looks after an ill-attached Megumi with abandonment issues

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

Megumi is a secretive boy. It seemed to Satoru that he hid everything. If Satoru wanted to know anything he would have to go through Tsumiki, the boys sister, to learn even the smallest of details. And even then, she rarely had anything but a smile to share.

For example, Satoru had been looking after the two little kids for months before he learned that the two of them only had one worn pair of shoes each, that and only a few articles of clothes.

"Well, why didn't you say anything?" He had scolded after seeing the blisters on Tsumiki's feet one night while watching Blues Clues.

He had realized that he would have to become all the more observant to see if there was a need in this household because he knew hell would have to freeze over for those two little kids to admit they could use help. Especially the young boy, Megumi.

It took three incidents before Satoru needed to have an intervention with the boy.

And oddly enough, they always occurred when it was just the two of them, alone.

Megumi always insisted on walking home from school. His sister was all too happy to take part in after-school activities, but the little introvert he was, he just wanted alone time.

This day had been no different from the others, he had been walking home, considering what he would have for dinner, when he saw it.

He would never admit, too ashamed of being called a liar, but the boy often saw things, strange, dark things, things nobody else saw out of the corner of his eye.

And there, right before him was something, watching him in the bushes, it was one of them, he knew it had to be.

Tsumiki always told him to be careful walking home. The woods of this area housed many of the homeless, and it tended to be no place for a child.

But here he was. Frozen still, the shadowy monster seemed to come his way, unspeaking, but threatening non the less.

Megumi threw his backpack to the front of his body, maintaining eye contact while frantically searching for something to defend himself.

There was nothing the boy hated more than being helpless.

His heart pounded in his ears, his fingertips burned with something he didn't recognize. But stronger than anything else, he was afraid. He wanted his dad. He wanted to hide.

He pulled out a pair of scissors, the same he used in art class, his arms trembled. He couldn't bring himself to make the first move so he was forced to wait until the curse came at him. He wanted to cry.

It did not take long.

He didn't even feel the ache in his bloody knees until the burning in his throat superseded all else.

He had rushed back to that apartment the white-haired man had arranged for them without a break in his step. And when the realization occurred to him of what had just happened, be felt the tearful nausea again.

There was no blood on his hands, but they shook with the fury it took to bring that monster to its knees. He had fallen to the ground with the beast, but the plunge of his scissors had gotten rid of it. Even if he was safe, however, he would never believe it.

It took a while to find the key he kept in his backpack. Fumbling fingers kept his keychain escaping his grasp. He was so encompassed by the afternoon's events that he did not even notice the tall man (boy) in the living area.

Satoru came by at least once a week, and recently even more than that. He tried to help the kids with their homework, stock their cabinets with snacks, and ensure their health. Megumi hadn't been expecting him that day.

"Oh! Megs! I've been waiting for you all day, you know, you're never home so late, don't tell me you've made a frien-" Satoru spun around so fast, the air around him seemed to make a noise with the motion. "What have you been doing?"

Put on the defense, Megumi shrunk back, "None of your business." Even after saying it, he worried he would get in trouble, worried he would be punished for talking back, despite Gojo's response to his snark always having been a chuckle, he knew adults hated disrespect.

The taller boy did not laugh now, "Oh, it's not? Megs you make me sad, what's going on? You seem tense."

The man was coming around through the common room and Megumi shuffled his bag to hide his bloodied knees. He didn't understand much of the man but he knew his eyes could also see things others could not.

"What's happened there?" Satoru pointed at the boys backpack.

"Nothing." Megumi murmured, trotting past Satoru and attempting to hide in his room. (His very own, though he often slept with his sister when he felt afraid)

"Ah, ah, ah, you shouldn't go fumbling around when you're hurt, Megumi. Come back here."

No, no, no, Megumi continued on, just about making it to his room when Satoru appeared before him. Megumi didn't know why he wanted to hide so badly, even so, he was frustrated to see the smile on the man's face. He was bent in a funny angle to look at the boy.

The boy would never understand how Gojo moved so quickly.

"Oh my, that looks bad." He made a bleh face, "How did you make it home on those knees, Megs? Hmm... I should give you a pager, shouldn't I, I don't want you running into trouble again without me. That must have been scary. Ugh, no fun at all.” All in one motion, Satoru grabbed Megumi and swung him around his hip.

"Stop! No!-" The boy flushed in embarrassment, but unbeknownst to him, Satoru could see the cursed energy encircling the boy.

And even if he didn’t say anything, he knew that something would have to change so this wouldn’t happen again.

After that day, Megumi did not walk home alone.

---

Satoru had been busy as of late, what felt like mission after mission, he was embarrassed to say, with how busy he was, he sometimes forgot he had two kids in his care.

He felt guilty, but the kids never asked for anything anyway. If they wanted something, he would get it for them. No questions asked.

It had been late one night, coming back after a mission that he saw his calendar and noticed with a grunt what week it was.

The middle schoolers were at camp according to his scribbles. Tsumiki was at camp and Megumi was all alone.

Why had he written this down? Could it be because he had insisted that Tsumiki go, promising to look after her little brother?

Satoru sighs. Did Megumi need anything? He was just a boy... but self-reliant as a man. He had been sure the little guy would be fine, even so, he couldn't deny the tug on his conscience.

Satoru almost went to bed that night before he decided he needed to check on the boy. God knows he wouldn't call - even if it was an emergency.

The sight he saw when he opened the door would stick with him for years. Mainly because he found it amusing.

Little Megumi, face flushed, wobbling on his feet, a blanket around his shoulders, and a kitchen knife in his hand.

"What are you doing!" Satoru yelled from the front door.

"Wha-" cough "-at are YOU doing!" cough "You're not here tonight!"

"Yes, I am! Put the knife down, it's just me, Megs." Satoru folded at his hips and leaned in close to the boy. It was strange, Megumi never let him get so close. "What's going on, were you scared because your sister wasn't here?"

Satoru reached out and pulled the knife out of the boys grasp. His little hands were hot, and when Megumi sniffled, he sounded congested.

"'M not scared..." It takes a staggering moment for the boys' hands to drop. Noticing he had nothing to hold.

"You sick?" And for the first time, the boy doesn't flinch when Satoru reaches a hand to his forehead.

He is, however, quickly swatted away. "No. Why are you-" cough "-here."

Satoru felt bad now, Tsumiki had probably left three days ago, how long had Megumi been sick? And why did the stubborn kid never just ask for help?

Prefacing his care he began, "I'm here because I want to be." Satoru finally lets out. Once again, he scoops the boy up, blanket and all, and is careful to set the knife back in the kitchen before using his now free hand to swaddle the boy. "Have you been sleeping on the couch?"

"Mhmm."

"Alright. No more of that. I'll be here so you just go to sleep."

Megumi didn't have anything to say. He missed his sister. He wanted to sleep in her bed. He wanted to feel safe. He wanted to feel better.

"I have a doctor friend, okay? You'll feel spick and span in no time." Satoru ruffled the boys hair.

"No, I don't wanna see them..."

Satoru furrowed his brows, "Ya know kid, you're not very convincing, I can tell you're definitely running a fever. All sweaty… like a big ball of sweat..."

"Jus' go away." Megumi said as he nuzzled his face deeper into Satorus's shirt, "I don't wanna see them."

"Sorry Megs, I'm perfect in may ways, but healing is not one of my many talents. She's really good, you'll feel better."

"I don't need help. I don't want you-"

"Alright, Megs. Go to bed." Satoru manhandles the boy like a doll, tucking him in so aggressively tight, he would have to put in real work to come free.

The next morning, Megumi had never felt so indebted to someone, and it made him sick, despite having just been healed

---

It was only a year later that Megumi called on his cursed technique.

Deep down, he had always known there was something different about him, something pulling at the surface of his being, but now, looking into the dog manifestation before him, he could finally feel purpose.

"Nice job Megs, that little dog is one of your Shikigami." Satoru grinned down at the boy sitting on the carpet of the family room.

The puppy rolled around on the floor before Megumi, and the boy's heart raced.

"She's mine?" He reached out and the puppy, sure it was a dream, she toppled over herself to nose at his hand.

"Sure is!" Satoru smiled. "And there's many more to come. Haven't you listened to me at all, Megumi? You're gonna be super strong."

But the boy wasn't listening. Blood was whooshing in his ears, saliva was pooling in his mouth, his heart was beginning to thump, but before him was a little friend. He couldn't let her go.

"Alright. You'll probably start to feel light-headed so let go of that energy. You'll be able to call her back again soon.”

Megumi was feeling woozy, that’s for sure, but there was no way he would leave her.

The puppy flickered like a mirage. Blinking slightly, she sat up, wobbling toward Megumi.

He wanted to hold her in his arms but a rush of bile was forming in his throat. His head pounded.

The puppy licked at his hand.

uh oh...

"Stop that Megumi." Satoru placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let go. She's taking too much."

Megumi's throat clenched and he swallowed thickly. Holding onto his new friend tightly.

"Stop, Megumi! Enough!" Satoru grabbed the boy by the shoulder.

The puppy faded from the boy's grasp. Megumi lurched forward, barely catching himself, and puked all over the carpet.

Satoru's hand faltered, but just a moment thereafter, he began to pat the boy comfortingly. "It's okay." He spoke gently, "That’s alright."

The boy's shoulders shook, not with tears, but with the adrenaline rush that comes with the throwing up/fight-or-flight response. He was mumbling, a hand covered his mouth.

"'m sorry. Sorry." He trembled.

Satoru sighed, unsure of how to console the boy. “Hey, 's alright. She was siphoning off your energy too quickly. You'll learn to manage it." Satoru patted the boys back but he was stumbling to his feet now.

"Carpet...sorry about the carpet." He was saying.

Satoru jumped to stand, "What? No, I don't care! It's okay Megumi. You go sit down, I can clean up."

The boy looked angry. "No. I'm fine."

He always seemed to say that.

"Seriously, I don't care about the carpet, just go take a second to calm down, that was probably a lot."

"I don't want a second!” Megumi spun, elbow covering his mouth, uncalled-for anger in his eye. "I don't need help. Just go! I can do it on my own."

There was a surge of annoyance in Satoru before he realized the boy was probably just embarrassed.

Shoko had long since told him about attachment issues and the lack of trust to expect from the boy. He just wished he could get Megumi to let his guard down.

"Megumi." He called firmly. "Stop that. I'm not upset with you, and I don't want anything in return. What I do want is for you to take some deep breaths and drink some water. You're over-exerting yourself."

"Ergh!" Megumi grunted angrily, tears in his eyes, and fled from the room.

When Satoru found the boy again. He was hiding in the coat closet. His face in his hands.

Satoru had to remind himself that the boy was hardly six, and clearly had trouble regulating his emotions. He wanted to have a real discussion with the boy, but he couldn’t do that if he wasn’t comfortable.

Gojo leaned down, slid between the coats in the closet and closed the door.

“W-what are you doing.” Megumi scooted back on the narrow floor.

Satoru sighed, “I want you to talk to me, Megs, can you do that?”

In the dark, it was hard for Megumi to see, but his benefactor could make the boy out perfectly. “What…”

Satoru sighed, considered how to say it, “I know there’s a lot of pressure on you, and I know that doesn’t feel good. But don’t go forcing yourself, okay? Take things with stride, accept help, I don’t want anything from you, Megs, and you don’t owe me anything either.”

Megumi rolled his feet around, tapping his shoes together, “I know you don’t believe me yet, but I’m not gonna leave. Your stuck with me for a while, so let’s try to get along, alright?”

The closet was silent. Satoru felt stupid, his words too plain, his mind scattered.

“Gojo…” the boy stretched his ankles out. “It gets cold at night... I wanna change the therma-thermostat.”

It took all but a second for Satoru to grab hold of the metaphorical raft Megumi was giving him. “What? All this time?!! That’s unacceptable! That’s why you should tell me these things, this is your home Megumi, touch the thermostat all you want!” Satoru pouted, stood, and stretched.

He bent down once more after cracking the door open, the bright light shining into the little boy's eyes.

“Okay, what else should I know?” Satoru reached out to pull the boy to his feet,

And for the first time, Megumi took it.

〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰

This is just a little drabble, I feel like this is some of my worst writing because sadly I have several more ideas about Satoru parenting Megumi

[randomshyperson]

The Pinning Problem - Wanda Maximoff Oneshots

Summary: There are several ways to resolve the rivalry between the Avengers that does not involve fighting. Or, the one where Wanda Maximoff likes to be pinned down by her not-so-secret crush, and somehow this becomes the whole team's problem.

words: 2.944k | warnings: a lot of sexual tension, kissing, hints of rivals to lovers, this is a crack fic - nothing here can be taken seriously, another alternative solution for civil war that’s better than what they did, nothing explicit but hints of sub!wanda.

A/N-. I found this on my draft, had to translate, and I have no idea what was the inspiration or writing process but I thought it was so funny, so here it is. The name is actually quite self-explanatory.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad

-&-

In Wanda's defense, a sequence of events led to this unsustainable situation.

It probably started a year ago, when she had mind-tricked the team of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and felt confident enough to try it on someone who was notoriously known for being invulnerable. It was the first time Wanda had been pinned against a wall by another person, and it was the most inopportune situation possible for any feelings other than anger and fear, so of course Wanda had never been so aroused. Things didn’t get any better after that, and in her interactions with you in the Avenger routine a while later, she would probably describe you as having some obscure desire to pin her against things.

In training, against the mat.

In the kitchen, against the counter or the fridge, with bad excuses to reach things or just because you wanted to see her blush or traumatize any team member present.

And one notable time, one that haunted her in wet dreams for weeks, against the door of the motel room you were staying in for one of the countless stakeout missions in search of clues about the Winter Soldier.

Wanda was never so grateful for a shared bathroom as the day she saw you in just a towel, hair and wet muscles exposed.

“Damn, wrong door.” You said with an innocent tone, but it didn’t seem like you had made any mistakes, the little smile giving away your true intentions.

Wanda, who had just emptied the bathroom for the next in line for the shower, clutched the towel to her body tighter, a nervous giggle escaping her.

She's never felt as powerful as she does now, using all her mental and spiritual control not to rip off those towels and grab you with the entire team to witness.

“Did you save some hot water for me, witchy?” You teased with your hand on the doorframe, too close for Wanda to breathe properly. She had to blink her concentration back, her brain barely able to focus on anything other than your inviting lips.

“Hm, I can’t say I have it.”

You lick your lips, a smile threatening to escape as Wanda's eyes followed the movement. "No problem, I need a cold shower anyway." That's what you said, using much more of her personal space than you needed to exit the room.

And for the next few weeks, Wanda could only remember that feeling, her fingers tucked deep inside her pants as she bit her lip to keep from whimpering your name to the ceiling.

The fight between Steve and Tony escalated into a catastrophe shortly after that, and Wanda had a little time to focus on other things.

That is until Clint picked her up at the Tower, and informed her that he had two stops to make. Ant-Man was the easy part, he was loud and energetic and kept Clint busy with excited questions about his life as an Avenger.

You were the proof of the gods.

With a leather jacket you got as a gift from Natasha hiding a band t-shirt that in Wanda's opinion, made you look like the most attractive person she had ever laid eyes on, you threw your backpack on the bench and squeezed in next to her.

You didn't have to press your lips to her cheek, but you did it anyway, as if you and Wanda were great friends, and you had missed her a lot in the last few weeks you hadn't seen each other with all the team's drama.

“What’s up, witchy?” It was so casual that Wanda almost believed that you two had a real relationship and not a history of arguments, teasing and staring challenges.

Clint didn't pay a second thought to the matter, he was stressed with everything that was happening to the team, and he was pleased that you were joining the fight, especially on his side. Having a demigoddess should mean an easy victory, and hopefully, without much fighting.

Staying under wraps in Europe until it was time to meet Steve at the appointed point was a minefield. Four people sharing a van, two of whom were hormonal teenagers, with some sort of battle going on over who would give in first could easily be one of the reasons Clint Barton wanted to stay retired.

Three hours into the ride, and Wanda let out another sigh from the backseat, and he had enough.

“I swear to god I’m going to make you walk all the way there.” The hawk warned, stealing a glance in the rearview mirror, quick enough for him to see you move your hand away from Wanda’s thigh. He snorted in disbelief. “That’s so inappropriate. And disgusting.”

“Don’t be homophobic, Clint.” You immediately retort, but the Avenger shook his head, chuckling reluctantly.

“I’ll tell your cousin what kind of things you do while other people are around you, young lady.” He threatened but you shrugged, an easy laugh escaping you.

“Good luck trying to slut-shame me to the god of fertility.” Your bratty response made Wanda and Scott hide a giggle.

Clint huffed in irritation. “What the hell, that’s not what I’m doing!” He defended himself, offended. “I just don’t want to be there while you make out with your girlfriend.”

You shrug. “Sounds like homophobia to me, man.”

Clint shakes his head indignantly, and tries to look at Scott for some support but the other just shrugs, with an expression that he agrees with your words. The Archer lets out a humorless laugh, and announces that he will stop for food at the next gas station he drives by.

When the stop finally happened, almost an hour later, Clint and Scott practically fled the car.

Wanda thinks she should have at least changed seats.

“Can I ask you something?” She ventured as the noise of the older Avengers talking grew more distant, as they were going to buy food at the convenience store. You hum in agreement, and Wanda swallows hard because she feels your gaze on her. “How did Barton convince you to join the fight?”

The question takes you by surprise. You change seats, and Wanda almost regrets it, but you do it just to look at her and it's more disconcerting than before.

“Why wouldn’t I join? I’m an Avenger too.” Apparently, you wanted to see her reaction. Sometimes, Wanda forgot that not everyone could read minds. Especially you, who, although you could resist any of her magic tricks, didn’t have the same abilities to do them on other people.

“I know, I meant…” She thought for a moment about the right words. “I just got the impression that Thor advised you to stay a little distant from things like that. He himself doesn’t seem to be around much for this kinda of… human and bureaucratic stuff.”

You click your tongue. “I’m human, Wanda. Half, but still.”

“I know!” she snaps back, her cheeks hot. “I just meant—”

“I know what you mean, I’m messing with you.” You cut her off with a giggle, gesturing slightly. “I’m flattered, you know? That you think I’m so strong and amazing, so superior to all of this.” You make an exaggeratedly theatrical expression, and Wanda laughs with an eye roll.

“Oh, shut up.” She retorts, and manages to make you smile too. The lightness of the interaction changes the second after this dialogue ends. You look at her in a different way, more intense and vulnerable, and Wanda swallows hard. She feels like she wants to say a million things at once, but it’s you who speaks first.

“You’re right though, I wasn’t going to get involved.” You say, your typical confidence failing for the first time since Wanda met you. “Diplomatic immunity and Asgardian royalty perks or something like that.” You joke with a weak laugh, but something about the way you’re saying it makes it impossible for Wanda to laugh, let alone breathe properly. “Clint only had to use two magic words to get me on the team.”

She swallows hard, her stomach flipping. “What words?”

You smile at the corner of your mouth, not meeting her eyes for a moment. And then you sigh deeply, and look at her. “Wanda Maximoff.”

The breath that escapes her is shaky and faltering, and you hold her gaze until she gathers her courage. You wait patiently for Wanda to approach, and you don't move at any of her hesitations, until she sighs and grabs the collar of your blouse, pulling you in with determination. Despite the urgency, the first kiss is not rushed. You let her get used to the feeling first, and pull away before Wanda has a chance to protest.

But when you dive back in the next second, you take control. Your hand cups her jaw and your mouth is hungrily against hers, teeth and tongue, devouring every whimper of need she gives you. You’re not immune to Maximoff’s charms either.” You gasp at Wanda’s taste, brow furrowed as if you’re physically unable to pull away.

But you have to, because Clint and Scott can't make a purchase longer than eight damn minutes.

The veterans climb into the car, and the archer turns to the back of the van to deliver the food and catches a glimpse of your disheveled appearances and uneven breathing and grunts of disbelief.

“For the love of god, I don’t even want to know. And don’t you dare touch my stuff!” He says, throwing the snacks into your laps as you and Wanda struggle to hide your giggles.

-&-

The plan was to sneak out, but Stark closed the airport. Steve's order was for everyone to put on their suits and follow him, but Wanda ended up trapped between the closed door of the van and your body.

“Everything okay, girls?” Captain America asked uncertainly, and without moving away, you forced a smile at Steve.

“Sure, Cap. I’ll just wish Wanda a good fight. We’ll catch up with you for a grand entrance, I promise.” It’s practically a warning that you’re going to do this regardless of Steve’s permission, so he clears his throat and waves for the team to follow him ahead.

The Avengers have barely finished walking away - she can still hear Clint complaining that the two of you haven't let go of each other when you lean your face down and kiss her.

She doesn't know what she expected, but she certainly doesn't feel prepared for this kind of kiss. Sloppy and charged with lust, just a few hours after she experienced the sensation of having your lips for the first time.

Your firm hands on her waist and the extra support of the van are the only things keeping her upright. Her wobbly legs gave out at the first bite of her lip, three kisses ago.

Between one gasp and another, and this because neither of you wants to let go, Wanda tries to remind you of what they are doing in Germany.

“We have to go. The others. The fight.” Each word comes between one kiss and another, and she’s not even trying to open her eyes, because you drag your mouth down her jaw and start pressing your lips to her neck with enough intention to make her arch her body towards you and forget the world around her.

Though you look equally affected, you manage to break the caresses with a husky chuckle. “Who the hell came up with the idea of adding a damn corset to your uniform, Wanda?”

The question makes her bite her lip, especially since she catches the way your gaze is fixed on her collarbone.

“I chose it myself. Don’t you like it?” She teases with false innocence, baiting you by puffing out her chest in your direction.

Your fingers reach up and pull at the limit of what the corset's laces will hold without opening, the gesture being suggestive enough for Wanda to tremble.

“I loved it, that’s the problem.” You murmur, evidently aroused, your mouth marking her skin again. “How do they expect me to fight with you looking like that around me. All I can think about is undressing you…” A soft bite on your lobe, and Wanda moans directly into your ear. “God, I could fuck you right here.”

“There’s no time.” She pants back, but your grip tightens a little and Wanda is sure that if you try to take her clothes off in the middle of this parking lot, she’ll help you.

“We can make time.”

But your whispered phrase carries a meaning she can’t ignore. She struggles to push her arousal away and manages to retort a hoarse “What?”

Your hands reach inside the suit's jacket, and move downward. Wanda gasps as she feels them on her ass, squeezing the flesh and forcing your hips together. The sensation is so delirious that she almost forgets she asked a question.

“We can kill time if we let the boys fight alone.” Your voice combined with all the attraction she’s kept secret for so long is like a siren song taking her mind to places far removed from Avengers intrigue, and more like beds or mats. Or anywhere you can press her, including this car. “Romanoff knows how to take care of herself, and the others wouldn’t even notice.”

“Yes, they would.” She retorts with a soft laugh before pulling your mouth back to hers. Kissing her again wakes something in you. Your hands go frantic, tugging and squeezing, and Wanda finds herself pressed completely against the iron door with one of your legs between hers. The softest press of your knee against her core makes Wanda gasp in a whimper.

You break the kiss to rest your forehead against hers. “You sound so beautiful when you make those sounds.” But she needs to put more distance between you, because she won’t be able to stop if she doesn’t do it now.

“We can’t.” She insists, one hand on your stomach to gently push you away. “Not now. And not here.” She sighs at the dark look in your eyes. “We gave you our word that we would help.”

For a moment, it looks like you’re going to ignore it, your lips brushing together, teasing away whatever sanity she has left. But then, you kiss her cheek and pull away, and Wanda would have slid down to the floor if it weren’t for van’s support.

“Okay, I’ll help.” You declare with a determination that makes Wanda swallow hard.

She barely has time to work on her appearance and has to rush to catch up with you, sprinting towards the team.

You missed the grand entrance - Things were about to start, and you interrupted a spider-clad teenager with an energy pulse that threw him away and kept him pinned to the ground.

“Sorry guys, I’m really busy today.” You announced. Everyone looked at you in shock, Tony seemed genuinely surprised to see you pick a team, and Steve seemed worried that you had changed your mind. When you started fighting with everyone, things got even more serious.

But Wanda didn't even have time to think about what it all meant; she realized that you weren't hurting them. You were bringing them together, to face them all at once.

Vision was probably the only one there who could do any damage due to the Infinity Stone, so she needed to keep him under control.

And with Spider-Boy safe and immobilized just like Vision, you screamed to the heavens.

“Heimdall, let’s take my friends for a ride!”

The Avengers only had time to widen their eyes. The transport was almost immediate.

Wanda closed her eyes, as shocked as the others, but the trip was actually smooth. While half the team was still fighting on the rainbow that led to Asgard, you held her by the waist, and the landing was calm and coordinated.

Steve was the first to approach you, as furiously as everyone else. “What do you think you’re doing? Send us back right now! We have to-”

“Sorry, I’m on vacation.” You cut him off, shrugging. Your hand is clasped in Wanda’s, who’s standing behind you.

The team all stands around, angry and surprised. Steve gives an incredulous laugh, but Tony actually laughs.

“Wow, that’s impressive, Rogers. Seriously, this time you outdid yourself in the worst decisions you could make. You didn’t think about what could happen when you called her to fight, she has the maturity of a ten-year-old!”

“Wow, and you can talk about maturity, can’t you Tony?”

You rolled your eyes, leaving them behind, cursing each other. Natasha was trying to stop King T'Challa from attacking Bucky, but none of them had a way out of here. Rhodes took off his armor helmet and was commenting on how huge Asgard was with Sam, while Clint tried to get a cell phone signal to warn Laura that he would most definitely be late. You think Ant-Man was trying to take pictures, but you got distracted by Wanda on the way through the Bifrost.

“Are we just going to leave them?” She asked, glancing at the irritated team.

You shrug. “Yeah, Heimdall will keep an eye on them. And when they calm down, the palace awaits. And you will see my royal chamber now.”

Wanda purrs, her cheeks flushed. “You’re getting pretty confident.” She teases, making you smile.

“I’m just inviting you to a late-night fondue.” You joke, and it’s Wanda’s turn to chuckle before pressing her lips against yours.

Some of the Avengers complain in the background but none of you are paying attention to them anymore.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Decoy [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 6.9k

summary: when you go after an unsub who catches students making out, the unit is called upon to resort to desperate measures. Or in other words, where you and Spencer become the decoy to catch a voyeur.

warnings: +16. Making out, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence, insinuation of smut, sexual tension

Do yourself a favor and imagine Spencer in these clothes during the case

You sighed, completely frustrated, while you looked for the thousandth time at the blackboard with some information from the profile that you had made for the criminal in this case.

You believed that the unsub was a Caucasian man between 30 and 35 years old, whose motive was to spy on and photograph university students who were escaping in their cars to make out at night, then force them to have sex in front of him and finally kill them cold-blooded. You imagined that he was a person with a mediocre job, that he felt insufficient, and that his voyeuristic behavior probably came from sexual frustration, something that could be corroborated by the violence that he inflicted on the genital area of the students whom he stalked using a knife, his mark on all homicides. You also believed that perhaps the rejection or abandonment of his last partner (preceded by a bad streak from his youth) due to his impotence had been the triggering event for all his repressed impulses to come to light.

All the psychological analysis was fine, it wasn't something you hadn't seen before, but the hard part of all this? Because he only threatened and killed people, he didn't rape them, at first it was almost impossible to tell who it was. He already had 20 victims in total and you weren't even close to catching him. In the last scene he had made the mistake of leaving a fingerprint and Garcia had been able to trace his true identity: Oliver Davis, a guy who fits the description perfectly. Unfortunately, this turned out to be useless because beyond the accusations of being a pervert, the man didn’t have much information that would give a clue to his whereabouts, you had even called the job that he had registered and all you had obtained was that he had several months without working there, which coincided with the beginning of the murders. After that Rossi suggested that he probably lived in a trailer (old, due to his lack of employment) where he developed the photographs and kept his trophies. That only made more sense when you thought that it would make it easier to transport or escape in case things got messy.

But words on paper and intelligent conclusions were of absolutely no use to you. You needed a plan to catch him.

"Do you have something, Reid?" Hotch had asked. You had already interviewed some students, you had set up guard duty to look for any suspicious behavior and you had even shared the photograph of the suspect in the media, but nothing had worked; The only thing left was to carry out the geographical profile to know the area in which he was attacking and thus be able to search for possible targets.

“I triangulated the locations we have of his previous homicides and I'm guessing he hits in this specific area,” he muttered, pointing to a space on the map he had on his blackboard with his middle finger. “Considering it's an area frequented by the age group due to its proximity to the universities and that it has several parks that the students told us they use to drink or go out as a couple”

"So what?" Morgan said from his spot. "We just wait until he kills someone else and hopefully we're near the scene to hear the screams?"

“Maybe we can ask the cops to patrol the area for the unsub's car,” JJ suggested.

“He's smart, there's a trailer park right here. It wouldn't be strange to find one on the streets as well.” Reid was visibly frustrated like everyone else and he ran a hand through his hair with some despair.

Your options were running out and frankly you couldn't think of anything else.

“And if we give him a target?” Emily murmured. Noticing that none of you said anything, she went on to explain her plan, “We ask police officers to send any young people they see around to home so we force our unsub to get close to who we want”

"And what are we going to do? Hire a couple of college kids to stalk them?”

“We can use our own team”

"Not to offend you, Prentiss, but we are no longer in the prime of youth"

"We don't, but Y/L/N and Reid do" when you heard your last name you were surprised, but when you heard your friend's you practically froze. First you looked at her and then at the doctor, whose gaze reflected the same stupefaction as you "You two are young, you might look like students"

"Are you saying you want to send us straight into the hands of a sexual predator?" you couldn't be offended, after all, those risks were part of the job, but you did feel somewhat reluctant about the idea.

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

“It doesn't sound so bad” Rossi murmured “It's a smart move”

“Besides, we would be watching around and we would intervene before that madman got close to you. Once we catch him, the photographs and personal items that he probably has in his trailer will be enough evidence, in addition to the fingerprint from the last crime scene” to your surprise, Derek was also pretty convinced of the plan that Emily had just devised.

"Reid, Y/L/N, would you guys be up for it?" Hotch exclaimed with his usual serious tone, looking at you and then at your partner.

Thinking objectively, the suggestion was very good. But thinking about it personally, you felt worried about the danger you two would be running into… oh, God. It wasn't until then that you realized that the plan to catch the suspect involved the two of you making out like a couple of hormonal college kids. 

You knew that the options that remained wouldn’t be as opportune as that and taking into account the temporary nature with which Oliver operated, in addition to the fact that he was already deteriorating as a murderer, it was most likely that he was already looking for new victims, so if you did that same night the chances of success were quite high. You were between a rock and a hard place and all you could do was look at him while the gazes of the rest of the room were divided between the two of you.

“I… I'll only do it if you say yes” you exclaimed in his direction, with a cautious voice and a fearful look. You knew your friend and you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way, even though you knew that both you and he knew that your personal interests would take precedence against the possibility that another couple of victims would lose their lives if you refused. It was your job, you had to do it. 

"Are you sure you guys are going to catch him before something happens?" Spencer asked your boss. You thought that with his background the last thing he wanted was to end up kidnapped or seriously injured again, even though the truth was that he was caring just as much about himself as he was about you. He had seen the photographs and knew that women were the most affected by the murder weapon… he didn't even want to imagine something like this happening to you.

"Of course. You will have communication with us and if something goes wrong we will get you out of there immediately" Aaron answered and your friend sighed nervously and then looked for your approval. You nodded slightly and he delivered the verdict, to which everyone agreed.

He was still standing, but after that he slumped into the nearest chair as he listened to everyone brainstorming ideas for setting up the scene, distributing the crew, and what they would tell the local police to do to make the decoy effective.

At some point you lost the whole point of the conversation, to start thinking about what was implied by what you were about to do.

The feeling of attraction for your co-worker had been latent in you for a couple of years, but you had never confessed it to anyone to avoid creating tension in the team or suffering the humiliation of certain rejection. Also, you knew that a crush meant distractions from what was truly important and you had tried, in vain, to eliminate it completely. But even if it hadn't completely gone, you had known how to control it, only allowing yourself to look at him with loving eyes from time to time and avoiding being too confident with him during group drinking outings. You even limited physical contact, not because you didn't like it but because you knew your greed would demand more and more of you until it became inevitable to beg for his touch. But now all that good work holding you back was screwed because in a few hours you would have to be passionately making out with him.

Still with the internal crisis, you raised your head to look at him and realized that he too had been submerged in his own tide of thoughts, which you hoped would be more positive than yours. At some point Spencer felt you watching him and when his eyes met yours he gave you that tight-lipped smile that was strangely comforting, to which you responded with the same gesture. After that it didn't take long for everyone to leave the room to fulfill their respective tasks, but you stayed seated because you honestly didn't feel enough energy to move. Besides, you had nothing entrusted to you, you were the bait.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay with this?" Spencer asked you, once everyone else had left. He looked so tired of everything, but at the same time there was a kind tone in his voice about him that made you smile.

“It's just kissing, Spence. I think we'll be fine" you assured him, trying to swallow all your embarrassment and nerves "And you?"

"I agree. I just hope we get lucky today or we'll just have to keep trying” 

"Reid, I need you to tell the cops what area we'll be in," Hotch interrupted you from the door. "You still have time to regret it," he added, looking at the two of you.

You immediately denied and after that Spencer withdrew from there in the company of Aaron. When you were about to drop you exhaled, completely concerned about the last thing your partner had said.

We will just have to keep trying. You didn't know if the idea excited you, or terrified you.

As night fell, Spencer drove the old pickup truck the unit had managed to rent for the two of you to drive into the park, with you in the passenger seat and a six-pack of beer in the backseat.

Although you were sure that it would be cold, you had decided to wear shorts and a button-down shirt that you normally wore for work, but that you had adjusted to make it look more youthful. Spencer was wearing an outfit that Morgan had gotten for him from a department store, simple jeans with a rather baggy cotton shirt and some nice boots that you didn't know where he got from, since in Quantico you had never seen him wear anything like that.

Both of you had showered at the hotel (separately of course) and you had made sure to brush your teeth and put on a good amount of deodorant and perfume before getting in the car. You had paid special attention to your appearance, not because it was necessary, but because you wanted to look perfect for him. Even with all this, you were a nervous wreck next to him, not saying a word along the way and only soft music from the radio filling the air.

When you stopped, the two of you put your headphones on to the channel the team was supposed to be on, and Morgan answered in the affirmative.

"Remember, he doesn't have to see the communicator or your weapon," Rossi spoke, who was also in the van, along with Prentiss and Hotch. "García will be watching with the security cameras and he will warn us if the trailer is coming"

"And meanwhile what do we do?"

"Pretend to be a couple, sit on the tailgate and drink beer, laugh, I don't know"

“Did you ever run away like that in college?” you asked, directly at Reid.

“Do you remember that I was like 16 when I studied at the university, right? I wasn't even old enough to drive, much less a car" he muttered and you gave a short laugh "I guess you did"

“I was too busy being the best in the institution to even think about going out and making out with idiots,” you replied, proud of yourself for that. “I mean, it's not like you're an idiot, but they were. You're very smart," you rambled, still twiddling your fingers, "Hotch, you guys will tell us when we're going to start kissing, will you?"

“When the suspect approaches, yes”

"Okay, well... then we have to go out, huh?" you muttered to him as you reached for the beers and tried to open the door to get out. You turned, expecting to see Spencer do the same as you, but noticed that he had lingered in the car for a moment, checking himself in the mirror and applying his lips with chapstick.

My God, could that man make you more nervous?

When he finally caught up with you, you went to the back of the pickup, where you opened the tailgate to sit down with a little hop. Spencer was tall enough to keep up with you just by leaning over the edge, where you watched him cross his arms. You were silent for a few moments, listening to the sound of crickets and cars in the distance.

"Do you think it's a good idea to drink?"

"Only a little. I'm having a hard time thinking while sober, I don't want to ruin the little reasoning I have left” you exclaimed as a joke. Or maybe you weren't joking so much "Just empty a couple of cans and leave them on the floor so he'll think we're really drunk." Spencer was about to do what you said when you noticed an important detail and called him over to look at you "Come here, let me fix your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"You're very well combed, it's not the image we expect" you carefully took his hand until it was close enough to pass the other through all his golden locks, messing them up enough to give him that relaxed touch that he should have. He looked so handsome, but not in the style of a fancy FBI agent but just like a young intellectual who went to parties and smoked weed “Like this. Perfect"

“Do you think we have to think of some backstory?” he asked and you looked at him with a frown. “You know, something about us. What degree are we studying, what are our names…”

"This is not a play"

"It's rude to eavesdrop on conversations, Prentiss," you said visibly annoyed, although looking at your partner that expression softened "As you wish, Spencer. Although being honest, I would say that you study… literature”

"Really?" he exclaimed with slight enthusiasm. You knew that his mother had been a teacher in the subject and you wondered if he had ever considered it.

“Morgan wasn’t wrong to choose those clothes for you. It suits you” you complimented him and Morgan whistled from the other end of the line. You felt like you were having too much fun for the situation you were in, but you needed to talk about something else to put off the reminder of what you had come to do for as long as possible. “I think you would have that hopeless philosopher/romantic vibe who flirts by whispering memorized poetry in your ear.”

“I actually know some good ones”

"Sure you do" you smiled gently, suppressing the thought of him sighing close to your neck at Bécquer "I'd probably study science or something."

"The unattainable scientist with whom the captain of the soccer team has a secret crush, but she is completely unaware"

"Where did you get that? From a 90s movie?

Spencer's laugh was one of your favorite sounds and today that was precisely not helping your situation. You felt intoxicated by how handsome he looked, like you'd discovered a side to him that no one else had, and the thought of kissing him made you tremble a little with anticipation.

“Do you want to share a beer?” he murmured, carefully opening the can and offering it to you first. You knew your partner wasn't the most enthusiastic about doing anything that involved germs, so it made you feel good that he took the lead. You took a big gulp of the drink to gather something of value and when it was his turn to drink he kept looking at you intently, you would even say that he seemed entranced.

You had made sure you were in a strategic position, with enough light for the unsub to see you and quite lonely, except for the patrol cars and the van that had been positioned at a safe distance.

“How does voyeurism develop?” you asked quietly, with genuine interest, as you shifted a bit to get closer to him.

“Voyeurism usually begins in adolescence and since during that age it is usually seen with greater tolerance, there are people who continue with these behaviors until adulthood. When voyeurism is pathological, they spend considerable time looking for opportunities to watch, often at the expense of not fulfilling important responsibilities in their lives, and people reach orgasm by masturbating during or after watching. Although if you think about it a bit, everyone is a bit of a voyeur."

"Why you said so?"

“Many men and women enjoy viewing pornography, which can be classified as voyeuristic behavior. It's not a worrying thing, but it's interesting to think about it” he explained, with those expressions on his face that he had every time he shared knowledge with you. He liked that about you, that you were always willing to listen to his data and statistics even at the most inopportune moments.

"I'm still a little scared that Oliver is trying to do something to us."

“I have my gun. If he tries to do something to you, I'll use it" you knew that killing the unsub was always the last option Reid considered, so you widened your eyes a little to show your surprise "All lives are worth, but when that life has already taken so many and it puts you at risk, I would not doubt it. You have nothing to worry about” he assured you and your heart warmed a little at feeling so protected.

"Do you know if Oliver attacks at a specific time?"

"No, he doesn’t. Just as we can be here for ten minutes, we can also be here all night."

You exhaled loudly, before taking another gulp of beer.

“Drink some, boy. I feel kind of selfish around here."

"I am nervous"

"And why do you think I'm drinking?" you exclaimed wryly, still holding out the can to him, and when he finally agreed he drank a little more than you expected “Have you ever…” you started to say, but suddenly remembered that literally the whole team was listening to you. If the answer was embarrassing, you didn't want to hear Morgan and Emily taunting you all week, so you covered your microphone for a moment and spoke again, but so quietly that only he could hear you. "I suppose you kissed someone, did you?"

"Yes," he said quickly and you sighed with relief. It comforted you a little to know that it wasn't his first kiss, because you didn't want him to have such a bad memory “Do I look so inexperienced?"

"No, that's not what I meant" you smiled "You're handsome, I know you've probably kissed a couple of girls"

"You don't need to tell lies, you know I'll kiss you anyway"

"But it's not a lie. I really think you're handsome" you confessed, gathering all the courage in you, while you smiled at him in the most serene way possible "And if we weren't literally waiting for a murderer, you know I'd be happy to do this with you"

"Smooch me?"

"Having this bad date attempt, Reid," you hissed, flushing red, as you slammed your palm into his forehead with just a little bit of force. Spencer seemed quite pleased that he made you nervous, rather than the other way around, so he grinned, “Though I think we should have brought food. I'm starving,” you pouted, swinging your dangling legs back and forth.

"That's not a picnic, Y/N"

You hated for a second that everyone was so intent on the conversation. A part of you wanted a moment alone with the brunette, even if it was in the midst of such a strange situation.

You began to talk pleasantly about things completely unrelated to the case for a couple of minutes, staying where you were, until Hotch's interruption made you jump a bit in place.

"Garcia intercepted an approaching trailer, get ready” your heart immediately sped up and you noticed him tense beside you, too, probably with the same thought flooding his head.

"Okay, come closer," you exclaimed, trying not to panic, as you spread your legs a little to allow the man to step into the space between. He wasted no time and just as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders you heard the sound of another car pulling up.

"Is that our unsub?"

"It is"

You were about to turn your head to peek when Reid grabbed your cheek and stopped you.

"He's smart. If you look at him, he'll realize it” he reminded you with a serious voice. You were so worried about everything that you were forgetting about your training “Okay, so I… Is it okay if I put my hands here?” he asked with a different tone, nervously placing both hands on your waist. You had always admired the size and anatomy of those hands, but until now you had not had the pleasure of feeling them on your body in this way.

“Tonight everything you do is fine. I promise"

"It would be a good time to start, he'll see you" Emily reminded you and you could only sigh shakily.

You two were adults, why were you so scared about kissing?

"Close your eyes" Spencer whispered to you, masking his nerves better than you "I'll kiss you, just close them," he asked you and you did.

You felt his body lean against you a little until his chest almost touched yours and then his lips shakily pressed against yours. You would always remember your first kiss, which in essence was such a brief caress that you didn't even know if it could be counted as one, the one where he wordlessly asked your permission to explore your mouth. Still with your eyes closed, you pulled him by the neck towards you and started a new kiss, a little more confident and deep this time, allowing you to savor the beer mixed with strawberries and that strange flavor that each person has.

“We…” you started to say, once you separated “you have to do it slowly, what he wants is a show” you exclaimed. Spencer felt unable to say any words and your hands caressing him so deliciously wasn't helping at all “Slow,” you repeated.

You arched your back a little to get even closer and when you finally looked up you met his caramel eyes. You needed a moment to recover and you unconsciously licked your lips, as if you needed to pick up and savor his presence in your mouth again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by his attentive look at your movements. 

It didn't take long for you to give up, as beginning the third kiss you felt that you no longer had any control over your body, your heart, or your mind. And while it was true that neither of you were experts on the subject, you guys managed pretty well as the seconds ticked by. Spencer gasped as he simultaneously felt you pull the hair from his neck and caress his lips with the tip of your tongue, while you were taken by surprise when his hands left your waist and lowered to the height of your hip, where his thumbs gripped firmly on the clip of your shorts.

There was a kiss, then another and another; they became too many to count. You didn't want to touch him anywhere and at the same time you wanted to touch him completely, in the grip of the fantasy that this was real and not just a performance. And even if you were aware that it was all fake, that would probably only have encouraged you to enjoy something to the fullest that you knew would never come back. Amid everything you didn’t know which of the two situations would be worse.

The sound of your lips colliding became so obscene that you were embarrassed, but you had no plan to stop. Your hands slid gently down the length of his neck until you reached his chest and cupped the soft cotton of his garment in your fists to make sure he didn't move away from you. The heat of the moment just went up and up, but a voice on the intercom brought you back with a jolt.

“He started the trailer. He's going to go"

Spencer closed his eyes in frustration, and you sighed. From the position he was in it wasn’t possible to get around him without being seen, so keeping all his attention was on you and him.

Maybe you weren't doing it right? You wondered what the hell this man wanted to see if you were practically eating each other, but suddenly you remembered that his motivation was even more sexual than a couple of wet kisses. Maybe he was getting bored because he needed to see that you were about to… well, do it.

"Take off my shirt," you said immediately, still too close to his swollen lips and looking right into eyes that seemed to be pitch black.

"Take... what?"

"Take off my shirt" you repeated, with a tone that made the man shudder completely. With the hands that were still holding his shirt you pulled him to you and he held his breath “And kiss me better. Like you really want me"

But Spencer didn't need to pretend that he wanted you. 

He made you completely dizzy when he began to kiss you so hungrily and you managed to keep enough composure when you felt one of his warm hands travel under your blouse, limiting yourself to letting out sighs that were drowned against his lips. But what finally caused you to let out an indiscreet and unwelcome moan was when he pulled you by the hip until you were on the edge of the tailgate and you could feel the growing bulge in his pants pressing against you. Spencer had almost managed to suppress his, but in the end, you having your own situation down there didn't help one bit. 

His trembling fingers fussed with the buttons on your shirt until it ended up somewhere on the floor at incredible speed, leaving you half-naked before him and the collection of FBI agents standing around. You might have been embarrassed if your brain could connect two coherent thoughts, but you'd lost that from the moment Dr. Reid first dared to kiss you.

You carefully guided his hands to the beginning of the curve of your breasts and now you both sighed in unison, feeling goosebumps on every inch of your skin. You pushed yourself forward just for the satisfaction of hearing that guttural sound again and your prayers were immediately answered, for it was enough for him to feel the slightest friction and he would go crazy. It was inappropriate to need him like that, but you couldn't help it.

Holding your lower back, he leaned over you and at the same time pulled you towards him until your breasts collided with his chest. In that position, your neck was exposed and your partner’s hot lips didn't hesitate to go down there, while you sighed agitated just at the height of his ear. Spencer asked you, between each kiss, to look in the direction of the trailer to see if he was still there and as you could you answered yes, which was victory enough for both of you.

As he could, he maneuvered to lay you down carefully on the cold metal of the truck without stopping kissing your neck, and by inertia you wrapped both legs over his hip. When you were hidden by the panels of the pickup he finally looked at you.

"I hope it's enough to get his attention," he said, sounding as agitated as expected, and although the circumstances meant that you two would be taking a break you flatly refused, pulling him back to kiss him.

That kiss did take Spencer by surprise and it was perhaps the sincerest of the night. It wasn’t as passionate as the previous ones, but rather it was loaded with softness and you would even say that a hint of supplication. You were begging for him not to stop, for the night to get stuck in an infinite loop where the two of you could kiss for eternity. And suddenly you felt how he, who had been so tense the whole time, completely relaxed against you, as if he understood exactly what you wanted to say. His hands came to rest on the sides of your head to be able to kiss you more comfortably and you dared to take him by the waist with the same care that you were kissing him, feeling even above the cloth the softness of his skin. 

And then he broke up with you. You feared you had done something wrong due to the suddenness of the movement and your frightened eyes searched his gaze for a sign of the reason, without finding anything. He just looked at you with something you couldn't describe, but that made you feel butterflies fluttering all over your stomach... and he stayed like that for a few seconds: just looking at you, as if he wanted to memorize all your features.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your words were drowned in a new kiss, totally different from the previous ones. Spencer was taking time with him, trapping your lower lip between his and sucking on it gently, pressing himself a little more against your body, sighing heavily into your mouth.

Your hand was already running up his side to make its way to his cheek just as screams filled the silence and you hugged him reflexively. The screams had come from Morgan, who had already moved across the park to take down the unsub and was now wrestling with him to get the knife out of his hand. Spencer hesitated for a moment if he should come over to help, but he preferred to hold you better against his body to protect you and wait for Emily to place the handcuffs on the man under her partner's knee.

From a distance you saw that he only brought with him, in addition to the knife, his camera, and a small backpack with some other murderous instruments that they managed to confiscate without any problem.

"All clear, we've got him," Hotch spoke over the radio. As you exhaled in relief too many emotions washed over you, combined with the adrenaline coursing through your body and the arousal still flowing into your crotch.

"Are you okay?" Reid's gentle voice called to you, as he pulled away to check with his eyes that everything was in order. His hair was messy and his lips were so swollen that it was almost painful to look at the image without launching yourself to kiss him again "My God, your shirt..." he said, completely embarrassed, as he bent down to pick up the garment. You looked him up and down and blushed when you noticed how tight his pants were, feeling your stomach turn a little. When he got up, he took the opportunity to look at your chest covered only by the black lace bra and a big gulp of saliva went down his throat.

You thanked him quietly and put your shirt back on, feeling the sneaky glances Spencer was giving you, just before Hotch walked up to you.

"How are you?"

"Very good, excellent" you stammered.

You could perfectly feel your swollen lips, the light sheen of sweat on your face, the heat flowing from all the places Reid's fingers had been, and the abundant moisture between your crossed legs.

After Hotch congratulated you on your performance, the two of you walked as best you could toward the rest of the agents, who were already placing Oliver on patrol. Another group was analyzing the trailer and they managed to pull out enough evidence about the murders that would be very useful in prosecuting the man.

"All good?" Emily asked in your direction, once things had settled down and the rest of the team had gathered in a circle by the van. You and Spencer just nodded at the question.

“I honestly think I'm going to need therapy after what I heard,” Dave murmured, so serious that you couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Don't you even dare make fun of this"

“No, we won't. I'm just saying you guys seemed to be enjoying it there."

"That's supposed to be the plan, right?" Spencer said nervously, finally daring to look at you and looking away almost immediately as he smoothed his hair back.

Once your boss said you could retire you escaped in a patrol car as fast as you could, wanting to get home so you could take a cold shower and soothe what wasn’t satisfied by the man. You could hardly sleep that night, still haunted by the ghost of the kisses you received from your gorgeous coworker, and the next morning you hoped that double coffee would do the trick. But apparently you weren't the only one who thought so, because at the same time that you arrived Spencer Reid crossed your path.

"Hey," he said, in that high-pitched voice that came out when someone caught him off guard, "How are you?" 

"Fine, and you?"

"Fine too"

You knew that the two of you wanted to talk about what happened, but it only took one of you to have the courage to speak first. At the same time your phones rang indicating a message and you mistakenly assumed that it was JJ contacting you to announce a case. What was your surprise when you opened the file and found a collection of photos from the night before. You knew from Spencer's face that he had received the same thing.

"Garcia did you… did she send you the same evidence?"

"That's right," he said nervously. You had to admit that if Oliver had one quality it was that of a photographer: you were sensual and perfectly captured the desire that had existed between you. Well, the one you had pretended to feel… right?

Spencer held his breath as he came to a picture of you topless in which his hand was practically on your breast, immediately remembering how that had felt. He just hoped his memories didn't affect him too much or it would be embarrassing enough to walk into the boardroom with a boner.

"They're good," you said to the air and he suppressed a laugh "But I can delete them if that makes you feel uncomfortable"

“No, no, I… I think I want to keep them too. After all, the bureau will have them in the files as evidence of the case, I prefer to have access too”

"I just hope she doesn't send them to anyone else, I wouldn't want to see my bra photos going around."

“I'll tell Garcia, don't worry,” Spencer murmured, rushing to type something on his phone.

While you waited for him to type you took another look, feeling your whole body heating up again at the memories. A part of you was grateful to have such material in your custody.

"I never thought of being the protagonist of an erotic photo session and here we are," you said ironically.

“Speaking of which…” Spencer started to say, “Not the erotic sessions by any means, don't think I'm planning on inviting you to one or that, because it would be super weird and inappropriate, but I was thinking if… huh…”

“Sell them online? I thought so too, but it depends on how much profit there is. Garcia can help us find the highest bidder and not get charged for tampering with evidence."

"What? No!" he said, completely shocked, and you laughed because you got the reaction you expected with your joke "Why would we do that?"

“Just kidding, Reid. Those photos are something I prefer to keep to myself" you clarified and your smile made him feel shy "Seriously, sorry for interrupting you. What did you want to tell me?"

"What…? huh, yes, right. It's just that this morning I was thinking about what you said yesterday, about how under normal circumstances you would have liked to have a bad date with me, right? and it just kept spinning in my head, so I was asking if you wanted to go for a drink sometime. Not like a date, of course, I'm not saying it is if you don't want to. I can just be like… well, go get a drink. As friends"

Yesterday Spencer had practically eaten your mouth and now he was nervous about asking you out. So adorable.

“You're not doing this just as compensation, are you? because you know that it is not necessary…”

“I do it because I want to. And I want to believe that… that I didn't misunderstand what happened yesterday."

You no longer even cared that it was unethical to date team members, or that if things went wrong, you would probably go into the worst of depressions. What mattered to you was that Spencer was interested in you, even if he had implied it, and that he was asking you out alone with him. Just the two of you, with fun and alcohol involved, without gossipy colleagues or mortal danger.

"Then I'd love to, Reid."

“Wow, excellent then” he smiled, feeling lucky that you agreed “I know a great bar near here, the atmosphere is generally calm, I like it because they don't play loud music. What day is right for you?"

“I'm available any day you want” you responded genuinely, grinning from ear to ear just being around him. That was the effect Reid had on you.

It was stupid to try to deny that you were still attracted to him, especially since now you had a taste of what he could do with you. You wanted to kiss him again, of course, but you were also anxious to earn that completely adoring look you'd received the night before.

“Today?”

"Yeah, why wait?" you responded, more excited than you wanted.

“Hey, I didn't ask you, but I wanted to know if I didn't go overboard with you last night. I mean… did something bother you?”

It was a smart move, you could see it clearly. It was obvious that Spencer cared about you, but you also picked up on his intentions to find out if you were interested in him too. Well, that's how it was from your perspective, because that probably would have been your motivation being in his place.

Even if it wasn't the case, you weren't going to miss the opportunity to take a little advantage of the situation.

"The kisses on the neck were something he definitely didn't expect, but they weren't unpleasant at all," you assured him, feeling your cheeks heat up again. "Did it feel good to you?"

"It did"

"So everything's perfect," you murmured, shrugging off the matter. But you both knew you couldn't see each other in the office and acted as if nothing had happened.

Something had happened. Those kisses had only fueled the tension that had always existed between you but that you wanted to ignore.

"Do you want to go after work, then?"

“Sounds good to me”

Spencer gave you one last smile and then went to prepare his usual cup of sugar with a dash of coffee. All day you were thinking about him and more than once he caught you looking at him, but you didn't even care.

So, at nightfall, with a few drinks on you and more courage in your body, you finally confessed that kissing was something you had wanted to do for a long time. You almost didn't believe it at first, coming from him, but when you finally accepted it, it wasn't hard at all to rush at him and kiss him feverishly. And this time there did not impede for you to give free rein to your desires, which led you to the soft mattress in your friend's house and kept you awake until a few hours before dawn.

[tragicvictoriantears]

how to show love to a xenomorph. 『 chapter one. 』

ʚɞ xenomorph!sylus x fem!reader (mdni).

INFORMATION !!YOU MUST!! KNOW BEFORE READING: this fic is safe for people who have no clue about the alien movie series. But you also have to keep in mind that all the characters I added, and the small plots happening in this fic are meant to explain (poorly but I tried) the world build of the movies and ALSO to capture its theme. I know a lot of you want direct contact with Sylus from the start (don’t worry, it’s gonna happen a lot in this chapter) but, please, remember that this is a mix between lads and alien. I had to make it this way to also be satisfied as an alien movie series fan.

NO SMUT THIS CHAPTER YOU FREAKS! A lot of plot btw.

!WARNING!WARNING!WARNING!: gore, failed sexual harassment, death, suicide, mutilation, a lot of curse words, descriptions of explicit violence, life threatening situations, sexual suggestiveness (fine, I will feed you a bit), mind games, blood, descriptions of severed body parts.

LOOOOOOOOOOONG CHAPTER. Idk how many words, I wrote this w my phone on my notes and only edited with my leptop.

Perhaps your shipmate's ripped stomach was the start of all the other consequences that led to a bunch of unskilled, clueless people to find themselves imprisoned in small and metal spaces. Maybe it was the first time you encountered a creature you never imagined could exist. Maybe it was the fascinating way they develop and evolve from an infant to a full grown adult. Maybe it was their high-pitched, terrifying sounds, harmonising with the screams of its victims whose deaths had already been written. It was a fucked up fanfare that made unmistakably clear that you are inferior to them.

At first you weren't even aware that anything had even started. It came like a sudden jolt. The following events were so fast, it felt like some unseen force pressed a button and a grim, living version of a science fiction film started to unfold.

"The XX-121 Xenomorph,” the synthetic person said — his arm mangled with white fluid leaking from it. “It’s an endoparasitoid extraterrestrial species. The perfect organism. I assure you, it is something you have never seen before in any book and data. Their effectiveness in killing, multiplying and the ability to survive in the harshest of conditions is unmatched. Also intelligent beings made to hunt and reproduce fast.” His voice faltered but didn’t fail. “Do you understand how fundamental they are for the human species? They are your ticket to survive anything space has to throw at you, to become the elite species in the universe."

Footsteps began echoing in the distance that day. The footsteps of your colleagues armed and motivated to kill the Synthetic. That's why you received that secret file. He had even slipped it into your mission bag himself without you having much to say in that regard.

"These files are essential. I don't have the time to explain everything. Read them. Study them if you can — that is more preferable. Make sure you escape this planet alive. Forget about your comrades, sacrifice them if necessary. Most importantly, bring this organism alive with you. You are a smart one, you can put two and two together. You must already know how essential it is for evolution. I assure you that you will not only become the salvation of your human species but you will also be generously — so generously compensated. Far beyond anything they promised you for this mission."

They were getting closer. All you could do was swallow hard and allow a chill to run down your spine. You can’t recall what you felt or thought at that moment. How could you? It’s not so easy to remember certain details after you witnessed a massacre straight out of a nightmare. One’s mind refusal to process? Senses that shut down? Still can’t recall. But your awareness definitely returned when the Synthetic spoke its final words.

"Especially to preserve the hybrid. He’s a miracle. His intelligence, ability to learn faster than us. A flabbergasting fusion of human consciousness and Xenomorph instinct. He represents the dream that the Weyland-Yutani Corporation fights for. He is the ideal that you must deliver to our laboratories to study him further, in the name of humanity. He is exceptional down to his smallest breath. He even gave himself a name."

Then came the axe. And the daggers. And a bat. They tore into his back. The white synthetic liquid splattered your uniform, ended up pooling across the cold metal floor. For the first time you saw the threads that held a Synthetic together, a system that kept them functioning. That's why you felt no pity when his back was destroyed, nor when an axe split his forehead like it was a mere piece of a log. He was a machine, a tool crafted and designed by humans, created to serve. You could describe them as smart servants. In the end, he was just put out of commission. Machines like him are replaceable. But you are not. Or the creatures. Especially the so-called precious hybrid with a name.

༺☆༻

Your were born on Jackson's Star. Planet LV-410 of the Alpheios system. A very scenic name for a mining and agriculture colony. A colony owned and operated by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. “The Corporation”. A terrible place, really. Like every corporate entity that expanded beyond the Milky Way, they exploit every resource they can get their greedy hands on. You are a resource yourself. Human exploitation means nothing when profit stands so tall. Mandatory farming, back-breaking labour, small credit, the possibility of working in the mines brought you closer to the idea of ​​giving up on everything. Although you were raised there, you could never adapt. The feeling of belonging? What’s even that? Let’s not forget about the absence of sunlight. Thick clouds, endless storms, constant thunder — for you, that represented the sky.

That's why you cried when you first saw the sun. The day you were recruited into the search team. It was also the day you learned that the Company that had been working you to death is involved in more areas than just making profit.

A renowned scientist and researcher had vanished along with his ship. His mission, according to official documents, was to study and analyze new lifeforms. At least that was the surface-level story. Then a faint signal was intercepted by the parent company. All that bullshit about classified content, heavily encrypted and urgent. That triggered immediate action — rescue teams dispatched without delay. The problem though? Even with this stupidly advanced technology, the source of the signal couldn’t be pinpointed. Hundreds of spaceships were launched on what was labeled as a “noble” search and rescue mission. They made such a big deal too. Aaaaalll over the news. In truth, the mission made no progress. For months there was no trace of the scientist, his crew or his ship.

The Weyland-Yutani Corporation gave a clear directive, clearly showing desperation: sending teams of volunteers. In short, they were willing to send anyone, no matter how insignificant and unqualified they were. And each volunteer spaceship had an officer and a non-commissioned officer to ensure discipline, supervision, maintain order and the smooth running of the operation. Also making sure that none of the volunteers would try to take advantage of the circumstances to escape from the corporation's control.

There was, of course, a reward: freedom. Freedom from the colony's labor system, big numbers and the possibility of relocating wherever you wanted. So, basically, freedom. Obviously, granted only to those who found the missing ship.

You volunteered as an act of “ultima ratio”, your last resort to escape and change your life. Small chances, possible wasted time and more work that waits for you home — those were your expectations once you witnessed the number of ships prepared for the launch. You traveled with three other ships that were always close (a kind of group trip). Each ship carried ten volunteers. None of you had access to weapons or most of the ship’s sections. Only the officers and their second-in-command enjoyed such privileges.

Repetitive days. Monitoring, preparing meals, listen to commands, cleaning, try not bang your head into a wall challenge. At least it was easier compared to your life on colony.

A signal appeared. “Unidentified planet.”

The officers of all four ships consulted among themselves and made a quiet decision to land without notifying the company. According to artificial intelligence’s analysis, the planet was far too insignificant for a renowned scientist to be there. Why? Sure, there was breathable oxygen but NO life. And apparently that scientist was way too obsessed with undiscovered organisms. So the plan had the following events: land, snap some photos for proof, check for any signals and leave. A routine check to be claimed as “effort”.

You could actually breathe on the planet. Although the air was humid and unpleasant. The landscape was covered with black rocks and caves. Strong winds and gray dust that kept getting in your eyes. A regular Monday for some. It felt like stepping into a volcano without lava and veiled with fog. The moon was a bit visible, unfortunately shrouded by mist that seemed to rise naturally to high altitudes. It might have posed a visual disadvantage, but the planet's sky was not dark. It glowed a pale green, devoid of stars.

One officer noticed a lack of signal beyond the planet. That could also have meant your departure. But another signal appeared instantly. A signal that belonged to the ship you had been sent to find.

Warmth filled your chest, an energy you had never felt before coursed through your body similarly to drinking seven redbulls. Your comrades seemed to share it too. Sweeeet freedom, that’s what you sang along with your fellow crew members. The officers and non-commissioned officers were content with the idea of ​​a promotion, so none of them considered leaving the planet to inform the other search teams. Their ranks, although far superior than yours, meant nothing in such a vast corporation. Naturally, they were determined to take the credit for themselves and show a little greed.

You and two female companions from your Expedition Ship Number 2 — Miranda and Letiția— walked arm in arm, laughing as you moved forward alongside the others. Each of you began to verbalize your future plans that awaited you once you received your reward. Most of them were stupid and funny, but they felt important. Letiția laughed when one man confessed that he just wanted a girlfriend, no matter how ugly and mean she might be, his dream is to drown her in gifts.

The fun was cut short. The memory of that time is still vague. You didn't even hear the thing that leapt on her face. You just stumbled in shock and fell. But you can still picture it in your mind, to this day, Letiția’s body moving disorganizedly. She spun, arms flapping, her screams muffled. Multiple pairs of legs rushed past you. Miranda grabbed your arm to help you up, and that’s when you saw her body collapsing into the ashy ground before the crowd of colleagues blocked your view.

You disconnected. The details of how you reached the target ship—and how that strange thing which reminded you of a scorpion, finally retreated and died out of nowhere—remain a blur. The ship, the one everyone had been searching for, was empty and almost completely destroyed. It looked as if someone had deliberately planted explosives. The mood turned horrific. The moments of blind euphoria fueled by naivety had evaporated.

Letiția seemed okay for a while considering that massive Arachnid-like invertebrate (or whatever it was) had attached itself to her face and forced a long appendage down her throat(and who knows where it went). Many whispered that the creature had probably injected a virus or poison into her and that she was now sick.

The first stage was a noticeable slowing down. The second stage was the pallor, even her pink lips lost their colour and dark circles formed under her eyes, as if life was being actively drained from her. The third stage, short but understandably concerning, was excessive salivation. You tried to help. You gave her water which she immediately vomited, stroke her hair, offered her one of your protein bars which she constantly refused. You ended up helping her walk, each step harder than the last. Her once straight and confident posture had become hunched and painfully sensitive.

A man from Ship Number 4 offered to carry her. But as soon as you handed her over, she collapsed again due to multiple convulsions overtaking her body. It looked like she was being electrocuted constantly. Her movements spiked from zero to a hundred in seconds. The crowd gathered again but that time, you stayed in the “front seat”. You remember dropping to your knees and trying your best to figure out how to help her, even if it meant a simple touch to let her know she was not alone. But a colleague shoved you aside.

“Her pulse is racing, I can feel movements in her abdominal area,” the man said, jus as foam began to pour from Letiția’s mouth. Her blood vessels were completely bursted, exposing her blue eyes in a grotesque way. She looked at you — right at you — in a form of a pleading that you still can’t forget: Don’t let me die.

Her back arched when the convulsing intensified. Something was moving inside of her. A small bump at first. Then it grew more evident and violent, as though something was forcing its way out of her stomach. It kept going despite the men trying to hold her still. You ended up holding her head to stop it from slamming into the floor. You wiped away her sweat, her snot, her tears. None of it felt real. You and Letiția had shared everything. Slept beside each other, ate together, talked everyday for over a month. She was strong, ambitious, the backbone of your hope that you won’t return empty-handed. And a single mother of two children that are still waiting for her at home.

You’ve witnessed plenty of deaths from exhaustion, mining accidents, radiation. But nothing like that. Nothing so sudden and brutal.

It was a hard watch. Her stomach ended up pierced. Everyone recoiled to avoid the red liquid gushing out of her. You allowed it to stain you (you remember this detail but you don't know why). The sounds coming from her belly made everything clear. There was something alive inside her and it wanted out.

Then it happened. The tearing continued agonisingly, more of her blood spattered the air. That’s when you saw it for te first time.

The Xenomorph.

Of course, you didn't know what it was or what it could do. The appearance was for sure unforgettable. A slick, beige-yellow skin smeared in your friend’s blood, small and sharp teeth, no eyes, long and curved head, skeletal structure that looked alien and terrifying. It clawed and tore its way out of her, shrieking and thrashing.

You lowered your head. You didn’t see it fully emerge and scurry away. Nor your comrades that tried to catch it. How could you? Death was staring at you. And you were staring back.

You learnt that Death’s eyes were blue, empty and filled with helpless tears.

On your first day on the unidentified planet, you are able to remember the following: after Letiția’s death, the creature grew rapidly. You encountered a corporate synthetic whose ranking was above your officers. You learned that the planet was crawling with these things. The Synthetic had no intention to save you, too preoccupied with capturing a live specimen. People started dying (oh no). Either skewered through the chest by tails with sharped ends, or drilled in the skull by secondary jaws hidden inside the alien’s mouths. Panic naturally erupted. You ran with your crew and the Synthetic back to your spaceship. All officers and NCOs died. Ship Number Three was blown up by a flamethrower operated by a scared idiot. And then you guys found out that someone had stolen the fuel from each ship that are no longer viable for takeoff, useful only as shelters. Your crew blamed the Synthetic (totally understandable to point your finger at the android). One of them even amputated its arm with an axe. In response, it took you hostage and threatened that he had enough strength in his only intact arm to snap your neck. You ended up in a room on the ship with him and we know what happened next. Obviously… a regular Monday for some of you.

༺☆༻

Almost two weeks passed. You are trapped inside the ship now, with limited water and food resources. The only remaining advantage is the possibility to communicate with the other ships — though they have even fewer survivors than yours. Your crew is relatively lucky to remain intact, if you exclude the officer, the non-commissioned officer and Letiția. You’ve also discovered the access codes for the weapons depot.

The files in your possession are voluminous. You divided them in two — sharing the first half with your comrades and keeping the rest for yourself. You believe that knowing more than they do might increase your chances of survival. At first you avoided the files, but temptation grew in you. At least it is something to occupy your mind rather than imagining all the ways in which you could end up dead sooner or later.

The first part (shared one) details how Xenomorphs are similar to a killing machine. They are highly aggressive, parasitic species.

[Powerful physical abilities, including the one to secrete acid blood. They also have impressively long, bony tails. They stand at around 7 feet tall (2.13 m) averaging in anywhere between 140 and 180 kg. But these measurements could change depending on the host chosen.]

[Their reproduction is through a parasitic cycle, with facehuggers (the creature that jumped on Letiția's face) latching onto a host (human, animal) to implant a chestburster, which eventually matures into a Xenomorph.]

And the rest of the cycle is pretty much known by everyone at this point. Reading about facehuggers always gave you an overwhelming sense of dread and anger. Overall, Xenomorphs are classified as some sort of ruthless biological weapons driven by their instinct to hunt and reproduce fast.

Xenomorph's primal need is to multiply.

[Diet: No evidence of eating. Xenomorphs seem to prioritize using living beings for their own reproduction rather than consuming them as food. They often leave the bodies of their victims untouched, even in the situation where they have access to plenty of potential food sources. A possible theory is that they might absorb nutrients from the environment or their own blood.]

From all those pages one thing becomes clear. You are fucked. And acid blood just sounds sick. They are also incredibly persistent with their prey so it’s unlikely they’ve left the area and the risk is not worth taking. At this point, no one has managed to come up with a plan. Yeah, you! Yes, you! You are fucked x2. The information you shared ended up intimidating everyone instead of motivating them. One good example is Miranda.

You and Miranda have always had a natural way of understanding each other. It was like an instant click. Maybe that’s why as she began to withdraw from the group, she chose to confide only in you. There’s one room inside the ship that can be sealed with a code — both to lock and unlock it. That’s your shared room.

“There are seven men on this ship, I am a woman and I don’t know exactly how you identify but I know that you also have… “ Her concern was genuine each time she vented to you and it’s also a reasonable one. Water and food were running out fast, and you and Miranda are the most vulnerable passengers. Not all men gave you the impression that they are preying on you. But one sure does, right from the start of the lockdown. Colby.

You can’t really describe Colby’s appearance, either because he is the most unremarkable man you’ve ever seen, or because he arrived with a huge black eye that always distracts you. Two of the men in your crew were recruited from prison. The corporation justified it by saying something about knowledge in spaceships, navigation and mechanics. Colby was one of them and he clearly enjoys it. Because of this so-called “knowledge “ he started to see himself as more valuable than all of you, indispensable. He rarely spoke before, preferring silence and long stares full of spite and contempt. But now? Now Colby is the most talkative one. Especially around Miranda. Well, that… concerns you.

The part of the document that you kept for yourself has become your new obsession. An obsession that came from a fascination you never imagine you’d have, especially when your life is constantly under threat. It is incomplete. A considerable amount of pages are missing, you feel frustrated whenever the information abruptly cuts off.

The report detailed failed hybrids in the beginning. Though traces of humanity were visible, the subjects were clearly more aligned with the sphere of the Xenomorph. They were hideous and uncanny. There were pictures too, it felt illegal because of how fucked-up they looked. But the descriptions of the successful hybrid made your heart race a bit (a bit more).

Endowed with consciousness, research notes indicated that he functions perfectly as a human — emotionally and psychologically. A harmonious blend of lethal instinct and human sensitivity. His ability to reflect, respond to various stimuli , and speak coherently surpasses an average human.

[Self control: confirmed.

Strategy and reason: evident.]

[Height: Slightly shorter than an average Xenomorph but is two meters tall.]

[Appearance: Upper body is human. The face bears no resemblance to a Xenomorph. Some exposed bone material is visible along the left jawline, extending just beneath the ear but it does not dominate the face. Human ears are present. Expressions are clear, human and very handsome.]

You arched an eyebrow when you reached the last word of that paragraph.

[Appearance continued: From neck to navel, torso resembles a fit human male.

Defined pectorals.

Natural and normal skin tone.

The back, arms, shoulders, and the lower body, however, align with Xenomorph traits: black, bony and glossy. The subject seems to have more tissues in the mentioned body parts. It gives him the appearance of plumpness rather than subnutrion.

The waist is broader than that of a typical Xenomorph, matching the proportions of a healthy, athletic man.]

The rest of the pages detailing his appearance were missing. But it's not like you can’t identify the only hybrid that exists on this planet. Even so, you are a bit disappointed by the limited information on the supposed specimen that somehow you have to capture alive.

The interrogation logs were even more fragmented.

[ Interrogation Log — 19:23 pm.

interrogator: how are you feeling?

subject: as good as a person can feel when they are viewed as a lab mouse.

interrogator: do you consider yourself a person?

subject: that’s a complex question. especially since we've only just started with the questioning.

Notes: subject frequently looks upward and grins. displays habitual condescension and sarcasm.]

You can’t find the full answer to that question. It probably developed into a long conversation.

[interrogator: so this is how you came into being? you completely deny your origin as being related to experimental and laboratory work?

subject: isn’t it obvious? i’m all natural. your interventions are an insult. i don't understand how you can create something so outrageous and even enjoy it. completely ignoring the fact that you haven't made any progress. do you actually look at your created hybrids with pride?

Notes: interrogator ignored the provocation and the subject’s insults. subject appears visibly pleased with himself.]

[interrogator: if what you’re claiming about your birth is true, then, do you currently possess male genitalia, capable of reproduction like a mammal?

Notes: subject did not respond. he smiled and swayed his bony tail similarly to a cat.]

[interrogator: are you able to read and write?

subject: yes.

interrogator: from where?

subject: from you.

interrogator: this is our first direct contact.

subject: but i’ve been observing you for more than a week.

interrogator: and that’s how you also learned how to speak?

subject: correct. took me a day.

interrogator: you have the ability to learn quickly then?

subject: you tell me.

Notes: the interrogator glanced down and moved on to the next question. subject’s satisfaction seemed to grow with each exchange.]

[interrogator: do you have a sense of personal identity?

subject: possibly. i gave myself a name. does that count?

interrogator: it does, yes. what is your name?

subject: Sylus.]

And that’s all the information you have about him.

“Sylus, Sylus, Sylus," you kept repeating, committing his name to memory. But your mind was filled with many questions: How did the species end up on this lifeless planet? Were they brought here for controlled observation? Their ship seemed equipped for such scientific operations.

How was Sylus created? Does he have a penis? What does he actually look like? Who destroyed the ship? Where did the scientist go? How are you going to escape alive and with two still-living specimens, one normal and one hybrid, from this place?

How intelligent and capable is Sylus? You had no rest for five days after reading all that.

༺☆༻

You put your materials back in your bag after revising them for god knows how many times. Today, it’s your turn to supervise the activity outside. Usually, a guy named Otto is in charge, but he took the day off since he’d been monitoring the cameras for two days straight without break. So, you push aside the fact that you’ve been neglecting your duties lately and head towards the screen.

A tall figure. Cliff in the distance. Before it disappears — white hair? Your rise from your chair to lean closer to the monitor. It was him! It had to he him! He’s been right under your nose this whole time. Fuck! (How could you miss on seeing your shayla??)

You quickly adjust the camera using the keyboard and zoom in. He left something behind. You press zoom again.

Your mouth literally waters and your hands begin to shake. You also swallow the saliva forming inside your mouth. On the rocky hill near your ship is… food. Powdered food/rations. Not the yummiest but ideal for space-traveling. Fundamental supplies that have been rapidly draining recently.

(The officers often stop at other colonies to restock, so a fully stocked food depot has never existed). Your stomach growls and begging you to retrive the cardboard box that is waiting for you outside. You are aware that it’s fishy af. Your body doesn’t care though. You want it sooo bad. You look at that cardboard box with your mouth half-open, hypnotised.

“Motherfucker… .Holy.fucking.shit. It’s like witnessing the birth of Jesus.” You jump as Colby appears out of nowhere with his eyes locked on the screen. Oh no.

Predictably, it escalates.

Colby starts banging on the walls with his bat, yelling, “Food! Lots of food out there! Food!” and you have a hard time to keep up with him.

“Colby! Colby stop it!” but the crew has already gathered and Colby just turns to you with the most insincere smile.

“What? What’s wrong with letting everyone know that the solution to a big, current problem is right around the corner?” He might even be trying to paint you as the bad guy.

“It’s just a way to lure us out,”you answer firmly.

“Who?”

“You know who.”

“You talk like there’s something out there besides those creatures.” At least he has a good sense of observation. You gotta give it to him.

“No. I’m talking about them. It’s true that the files didn’t mention xenomorphs using tactics like this, but it’s not worth it if the price is all of us getting slaughtered like mice.” You manage to maintain your imposing position in front of him. Colby, on the other hand, toys with the handle of his bat. He underestimates you.

“Ah, yes. So the best option is to stay here and starve? Maybe we’ll end up eating each other.” Colby’s eyes are glinting. “I’ll definitely start with you, personally.” He jabs the tip of his bat into your chest and gives a small push. You stop yourself from punching him, personally.

Enzo, another crew member, intervenes, grabbing his bat. Colby spits on your boot as a response.

“Wouldn't it be better to use our energy for something useful instead of threatening each other?" Enzo suggests.

“I didn't threaten him." You wish you did.

“Leave it." Enzo mutters through gritted teeth." Ok… alright. It's true that we need food, but it's also true it's a trap. So, I will go myself. Ideally, I’d have two men with me, but if no one volunteers, I’ll go alone."

Rocco and Aldo, Enzo’s close friends, raised their hands.

The plan is simple. Enzo, Rocco and Aldo will go out armed (of course). The ship has three access points/three barriers with the outside:

1. The outer door to the entrance room — opened by a unique code.

2. The door from the entrance room to the corridor— accessed via authorised card.

3. The door from the corridor into the base — also requiring an authorised card.

Aldo and Rocco will leave their authorised cards at the base. Enzo will bring it with him just in case and destroy it if necessary.

“We will communicate via headset,” Enzo explains. “Two people will monitor from here. One armed crew member will stay in each era: entrance room, corridor, and base.”

Otto is not participating.

“We need constant communication and cooperation, keep that in mind. If any of you see that the odds of us getting back are low and it becomes too risky — no matter how much we beg, no matter how much we plead… DO. NOT. LET. US. IN.” Enzo came up with the plan on the spot. It almost feels like he is a perfectly organised person — though you know he isn’t. The plan is not so bad. Or maybe you’re desperate.

An old man, the other convict who refuses to reveal his name, will be stationed at the ship’s base. Most likely chosen for his size and build. He’s a total unit, impressive for his age. You’ve often wondered how someone like him ended up in prison.

Miranda is in charge of the corridor, Colby has the entrance room. You and a man named Theo will handle monitoring and communication.

You watched as the trio disembarked without any issues and managed to get away from the ship safely for now. Theo suggested that he track their movements while you monitor the other cameras and report any unusual activity. The distance seems short but time drags on painfully. Nothing shows up so far. Your focus is out the window once Miranda rushes in crying and visibly shaken. Both you and the old man are caught off guard. Theo doesn’t give a single shit. Colby follows close behind and he appears furious. Theo immediately nags them about the fact that they’ve abandoned their critical posts— which, yes, it is important— but you are more concerned for Miranda.

“Colby!” you shout after him.

“Mind your business and fuck off, bitch!” he snaps.

You start to rise from your chair, but Theo stops you. You are ready to start an argument with him, but the old man assures you he’ll handle it and get them both back.

“They picked now to start fighting. That’s just bloody brilliant.” Theo grumbles with an accent.

“This is not a fight. Miranda wouldn’t have left unless she felt threatened. Why did Colby abandoned his post?”

“Why don’t you just focus on the screens?” you bite back a retort. Enzo and the rest are risking their lives and you calmed down once the old man reassured you he’ll handle it.

So, you refocus. Scanning each camera feed one by one. On the camera from the right side of the ship you spot something. Thin, black and bony tail slithering slowly and silently past the edge of the camera lens.

“There’s one on the right side of the ship,” you report immediately to Theo who reports the message further. You keep checking the cameras one by one again. There are two cameras facing the entrance. One pointing into the distance — Theo’s responsibility — and one pointing downward. Well, Letiția’s corpse appeared on that camera.

Decomposed, yet with the same eyes that haunt you, with the same hole in her stomach from which her intestines are now sticking out. You shake your head and look again. For a second, it seems like you can only see her eyes. Just as close as they were the day she died.

Panic surges through you as you jump to your feet and run. Theo also spots Letiția’s body that appeared “mysteriously” on camera and let’s just say he got pissed.

“Y/n, are you fucking kid- GO AHEAD AND BE STUPID!”

It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap. You know it’s a trap. You’re fully aware of it. But still. You grab a flamethrower and cross the corridor as fast as you can. You know he is mind gaming you, and this only confirms what you’ve been suspected: Sylus has been studying you, just like he studied those before you. He’s been watching since you arrived, at least long enough to deliberately place Letiția — or what’s left of her — as the perfect emotional bait for the perfect victim.

Hands start to tremble. You entered the code wrong the first time. You really try to calm yourself down so you start pressing each key slowly. The door begins to open from bottom to top. You aim with the flamethrower with every twist of your torso. Scanning the area carefully, you notice how the fog has thickened. Can barely see a thing.

No movements. No breathing. Good.

Without wasting time, you grab the corpse by the shoulders and begin pulling it after you. The screams of Enzo, Rocco and Aldo echo into the distance. They are close enough to hear but way too far to help. Maybe it’s the adrenaline but somehow you managed to drag Letiția’s body easily into the entrance room. The fog is so dense that you can’t see your comrades. Only flashes of gunfire followed by the sharp sounds of the creatures. They are too far and you can’t risk leaving the door open, so you close it. Like in every horror movie, it shuts painfully slow, from top to bottom.

As the door descends, you hear footsteps. Calculated steps. Definitely not your teammates (who are still yelling and shooting) or a normal Xenomorph.

“GRILL HIS FUCKING ASS!” Theo screams in your headset. “What the fuck is that?” he adds. You can't believe it… Theo saw him first. Life is for sure unfair.

“I can’t. The door is halfway down!”

“It doesn’t matter! Point the flamethrower down in case he ties to crawl through!” you obey, dropping to your knees, lowering your aim with the motions of the door. You remain in that position until it finally seals shut.

That was a close call.

But the universe is not always kind, right? You barely had time to breath in relief when you hear it. Faint clicks. Buttons being pressed slowly. Identical to how you pressed them moments earlier.

He learned the code from you.

“Theo! He knows the code!” You scramble, grabbing Letiția’s corpse by the shoulders again and dragging it.

“You and the rest are on your own! Fuck all of you!” Theo yells before tossing his headset away. Static sounds follow.

The door begins to rise slowly. That dense mist creeps into the room. You fumble for your authorised card. You drop it. Once. Twice. Thrice. The door is halfway open but for some reason he waits outside. It’s like he’s savouring the moment, letting the tension peel away your sanity.

You manage to finally scan the card and the corridor door opens, sliding from left to right. You resume back to dragging the corpse, never taking your attention off the entrance. The corridor door signals through loud beeps that you have ten seconds until automatic closure (you can override it for quicker shut with a manual swipe of the card).

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A tall, dark and tailed figure steps onto the ship. You notice him immediately. Broad shoulders, the shape of a human head, and he’s well-built. That’s intimidating btw. Because of the dim light you can’t see the full extent of his appearance, just his dark figure. Behind his silhouette, through the thick fog, the flashes of gunfire flicker. Brief bursts of light from the trio’s weapons. The whole view, the sounds of the door about to close automatically combined with the sounds of the gunfire gives you a headache. You pull Letiția’s lifeless body inside just in time before the door slides shut.

You are safe. For now. You don’t care.

What’s in front of you? Her face is so decomposed from putrefaction you can’t even remember how she looked like before. Why did you bring her here? For what purpose? So she could be buried back home? By her little children who have no idea they're orphans? You remember how she always kept a photo of them with her, but you never asked to see it. So you start searching. You have nothing better to do. You don’t know what to do. You fucked up the whole operation. Something that Letiția would have never done.

Enzo and the others won’t make it. That’s certain. Nothing makes sense anymore, everything lacks purpose. Why are you torturing yourself by searching for that damn picture?

The photo is nowhere. But that’s not what worries you — the absence of her authorised card does. Not in the pockets, boots or any piece of clothing. You’re on the verge of checking inside her exposed intestines but you stop yourself.

"Can anyone hear me? Letiția’s card is missing—" A grenade detonates outside the ship. Before you can process what the hell was that, a hand grabs your hair and yanks you backward down the corridor.

“Look what you’ve done, smartass.” Colby.

He slams you onto your stomach with ease. He is much more stronger than you. Colby also managed to pick your flamethrower and to throw it several meters away. In response, you use all your strength to hit him in the knee. That gives you a moment to crawl towards the flamethrower and the distance you have covered is considerable.

Funny how you thought it’s gonna be that easy.

Pain explodes. A dagger, deeeeeeeep in your left tight. You don't even have time to scream in pain, the blade is pointed in his direction and he drags you towards him. Damn, he must be mad as hell. He keeps pulling you like that until you are beneath him. He did all that so he can slam his bat into your head. And slamming with his bat he does. Luckily, the blow isn’t hard enough to knock you out but you feel the small and narrow space spinning around you.

Your vocal cords refuse to work. No sound, no protest from you.

Colby’s belt hits the floor.

“You wouldn’t be here if Miranda was a nice and obedient girl.” He presses your head back to the floor with his bat. You don’t know what to do, your visuals keeps on spinning and your body ran cold.

“Fuck.”

A long pause followed.

“I can’t get it up. FUCK. Fuck me, I’ll be more satisfied if I beat your brains out.”

He zips up his pants after that embarrassing moment.

“Don’t worry. It’s gonna be fast. That’s what you get for thinking you’re better than me.”

“Colby. I’m sorry. I never thought I was better than you. Col—” he kicks you in the back, hard. You squint and try your best to force your sounds back down your throat. Even though you are terrified, you don’t want to give him more satisfaction.

He grabs the dagger still buried in your leg and starts twisting it. One twist, two, three — before ripping it out without any remorse. You never screamed louder, like you did just now, in your entire life. Not even when you were pulled from your mother’s womb (I’m sorry). You try to brace your hands against the floor so you can get up but his boot crashes down on your shoulder. It’s futile. You always considered the possibility of Colby trying to hurt you — heck, killing you even — never thought it would happen this fast though.

A trickle of blood runs down your forehead from the blow. You watch him, frowning and mentally burning him with your hatred, as he raises the blade in his hand. He’s gonna aim for your head.

The door opens.

You hear it.

Colby hears it.

And we are not talking about the door to ship’s base. That reminds you. Hmmmmm. You forgot a tiny-silly detail: the missing authorised card.

You swallow hard. Colby swallows hard. The “beef”between you two shifts into a full-on we are fucked turn of events. It’s fascinating how the unknown blends the roles of a criminal and his victim into one.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A drop of sweat slips from Colby’s blonde bangs as he slowly turns towards the door. You don’t. No courage no baaaaaalllls.

“Ayo—” that well-known tail lashes out in his direction, the sharp tip pierces through his lower jaw and sending it flying. You read that right. Completely ripped off, I repeat. The bastard’s jaw hits the wall and lands with a thump near you. Gross. Colby staggers, blinks rapidly and his brows are furrowed. The blood dripping from his dismemberment lands on your butt and his nostrils throb noticeably. You never liked him, hell, you always hated him back. But even though he tried to kill you, you didn’t want to witness his death. The tears that fall aren’t from pity — they’re from fear. You could be next.

His final act was to roll his eyes before his body collapsed right in front of your face. The impact with the floor sprayed a little blood on your neck and chin. Tears of fear finally began to flow down your cheeks.

Next to you lies Colby's fresh body, near your feet lies Letiția’s putrefied body, Theo abandoned you, you don't know if the trio survived, the old man and Miranda are missing — hell knows where, Otto might be still napping. Not to mention, behind you stands the hybrid, who holds one of the ship’s authorised card and also knows the outside access code.

But, at the same time, you have the flamethrower in front of you. Let’s not forget that the hybrid knows how to communicate. Maybe you can negotiate. Negotiate for your life, Letiția’s authorised card, a vacation. Or at least try. Realistically speaking, you don’t have much of an advantage against him. But it’s better to try than to die like those pathetic characters in slasher movies.

A new determination takes over, all that blah blah shit about survival instinct kicking in that drives you to put your impromptu plan into motion. The adrenaline that comes from pure fear and panic postpones, for now, the pain from your injuries (that agony will come later, once the adrenaline wears off… if you’re still alive). You rip Colby’s card off his uniform and back away as best as you can. And— MORHERFUCKER— the files weren’t exaggerating.

“You really are handsome,” you blurt that out without thinking. Compared to the hybrids created by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, Sylus is ahhhhhhh. A mysterious and undeniable success. You have never seen a man so devastatingly attractive before. He has the kind of face your imagination would use when you retreat into your fantasy world. Any kind of fantasy.

“Should I take it as a form of thanks for saving you?” he asks, standing at his full height (those two meters mmm), one eyebrow raised in an expression that many would label it as arrogance. He looks down at you, chin tilted up and studying you as intently as you study him. Even his voice is appealing, sexy tone, rich, smooth and money money money by abba. Maybe you are a freak???

“Saved? You came specifically to save me?” you snap. “You? The one who planted Letiția’s body and the food specifically to lure us all outside? Cut the bullshit. You are vile.” sitting down, with your hands behind your back, you subtly try to grab the flamethrower behind you.

“Vile? I thought you wanted to honor your friend by recovering her remains. Was I mistaken?” But OF COURSE his Xenomorph instinct catches on. His long tail creeps towards you. You grab the flamethrower just as the terminal, bony tip of his tail wraps around your waist, dragging you in his direction (it’s y/n dragging day guys). As he drags you past Letiția’s body, you raise the flamethrower and point it at him. A grin. That’s what you get. A stupid, hot smirk. GOD.

“Go on.” he urges. You could pull the trigger and incinerate him like a failed bbq steak but you hesitate. “What’s the matter? Perhaps, a change of heart?” he knows damn well that you con’t make crabby patties out of him. Maybe he caught on the fact that you knew about his existence from how close you were with that Synthetic on your first day. It’s true. You can’t kill him. You can’t lose the ticket. You have to capture him, not give him a tan.

The reality hits hard. Sylus is one step ahead. You need a new plan.

And you need it now.

You set the flamethrower down and raise your hands. His tail subtly tightens around your waist and you bite your lower lip to muffle your sounds. He liked that. He finds enjoyment in playing with you.

“Sylus.” you say the name only you know.

“Aa. You finally decided to cut the bullshit.” he remarks, mocking your words from earlier.

“Yes, Sylus. No more bullshit. I swear!” you try to figure out if this attitude is working. Thick, expressive eyebrows, white hair, ruby ​​eyes that refuse to break eye contact, perfect jawline, very beautiful lips and his nose— pull yourself together!! So you do. “I’m aware that I don’t stand a chance against you, not even slightly.”

“That’s what you decided to convey to me now that you realized that I have the upper hand? I expected better.” His brows furrow but the corners of his mouth curl slightly up.

“Exactly!” you point your finger at him and nod. “You have the upper hand, I’m harmless compared to you.” You throw the flamethrower aside to reinforce your point. That earned you a squeeze to your waist and you let a long, strained sight that threatens to sound like something else if he keeps doing that. “See? Harmless,” you return to locking eyes with him again.

“And your whole point is…?”

“A bargain.” His eyebrow arches again, this time not smiling.

“How considerate and sweet of you.” his dry reply has no business being this hot. “What’s your offer… sweetie?” you try not to visibly cringe at the nickname.

“I can tell you’re intrigued by us.”

“Indeed. You guys are intriguingly stupid.”

“No— okay, whatever you say, beautiful.” You managed to control your attitude and not roll your eyes. “I’m intrigued by you too. The feeling is mutual. You prefer us because we are not a bunch of lunatics in lab coats. We are ordinary. We don’t view you as a tool to exploit for the sake of evolution.”

“But you’re afraid of me.” he means you, specifically.

“Not really— well, a little, I’ll admit. But that can change. We can learn from each other. Not just me from you. Mutually. Willingly.” You pause. “For example, I’m very curious about how you were made.”

“How were you made?” he interrupts, using your question against you.

“Uhm. Okay.” you blink, caught off guard by his directness. “Uhm… through sex.” Your cheeks flush, but if he comments on it, you’ll blame it on the temperature. Now, why did you say that? You didn’t even had to respond to that. He finds it amusing. “That’s what it’s called. But many prefer to… uhh… instead of resorting to this reproductive process … make love? Yeah. Make love. “ Sylus’s eyes sparkle, you definitely said something that interests him.

“That means we have something in common. I think I was created through love, not sex.” That statement completed contradicts everything you read in a day’s worth of research on Xenomorph reproduction.

“Really?” Now your eyes sparkle and the roles have been reversed. Sylus has successfully turned the tables. The emotional part in you would do anything to satisfy the curiosity that lingered since reading his interrogation. The rational part in you tries to remind you that you’re losing ground. Ration wins.

“My offer is…” you begin, but Sylus squeezes your waist again. He is slightly annoyed that you’ve broken free from his trance. “… OKAY! First, let go of my waist. Wouldn’t it be better if I speak freely? I don’t think intimidation is necessary for this conversation.”

“You say that as if you didn’t point a deadly weapon at me after I saved your life.” He clearly has a thing for countering everything you say, but he releases your waist and withdraws his tail. You feel like patting yourself on the back for this small victory, but you’re interrupted again.

“Well?”

You take a deep breath.

“If you give me Letiția’s authorised card so I can keep my shipmates safe, I’ll go with you. I’m expressing, directly, my willingness to follow you without resistance. I’ll show you what love means between people, maybe even help you discover that part of yourself that’s made of love.” It has reached the point where you are both lost in each other. You don’t know how to describe it. You’re starting to believe in the proposal you crafted on the spot to fool him.

“Deal.”

He unclenches the fist holding Letiția’s card and extends it to you. You snatch it without a second thought. Then he extends his other hand. Large, black, glossy, long fingers and sharp claws.

Maybe the perfect plan was to destroy all three cards and set yourself on fire. But you end up reaching towards his hand (in slow-motion too).

Take his hand. Take him.

Suddenly, both doors swing open. Rocco and Enzo are behind Sylus, stunned by his presence. The old man and Miranda stand behind you, equally stunned. And you feel like your privacy has been invaded. Sylus remains unbelievably calm.

Rocco steps forward, pointing his automatic rifle in his direction. Sylus just grabs him by the neck like he’s nothing and slams him against the wall before he can react. Enzo —noticing the xenomorphs advancing and about to enter the ship— squats down and runs past Sylus, narrowly dodging a tail strike that slices into the metal. Before straightening his body, he grabs you around the waist with both of his arms and lifts you up from the ground. Despite his lack of muscles, he carries you effortlessly.

Sylus watches everything with a faint, innocent smile. Unsettling innocent. Hard to tell how he is feeling when he throws Rocco out of the corridor where his “kind” are now finishing him for good.

The old man walks past you and sets fire to the corpses that were left lying around. You averted your gaze as the flames spread to Letiția’s body. It's tragic how she became the first victim. She should have been the heroine like she always was. A heroine for her children. The proof lived not only in her character, but also in each scar on her body. Scars that she showed you when she told you that she didn't regret selling her body for her kids, how she was the happiest person when she offered them the life she never had. You clenched the cards tightly in your fists. As the smell of her burning flesh hits your nose, you whispered a prayer for her peace.

༺☆༻

You lost territory. Well, just the entrance room and the corridor. A few people too.

Aldo sacrificed himself for Enzo and Rocco. Rocco sacrificed himself for all of you. Colby? You don’t even think about him anymore.

Theo refuses to speak to anyone, convinced that if he does, he’ll die too.

Miranda nearly died as well. When the old man followed her while she was trying to get away from Colby’s persistent harassment, she came across Otto’s body. The one who was mostly in charge of surveillance and was supposed to be resting.

Otto committed s*icide. He shot himself in the chest. He had good dexterity and had always wanted to go into the medical field since he was a child. His aim was perfectly precise, he succeeded in avoiding a slow death. Above the wound was a photo of his boyfriend from home, Ludwig, and a ring he wore around his neck on a thin silver thread. No one knew he was secretly married until you read the message written on the back of the photograph.

“Bis dass der Tod uns scheidet. Wir sind an diese verbotene Liebeszeremonie gebunden.”

(“Until death do us part. We are bound by this ceremony of forbidden love”)

Love.

Miranda took the blame — even though you tried to argue it’s not true. She confessed that when she found Otto, she wanted to do the same. Colby left and it took the old man a long time to talk Miranda down into stopping her from pulling the trigger of the gun she had pressed to her own forehead.

Theo got involved during Miranda's apology speech and pointed his finger at everyone. The argument that followed was eventually calmed down by Enzo, who reminded everyone that if you keep blaming each other, no one will survive another day. He was right. Twelve of you came, five of you remained. And Enzo ended up being very respected for surviving outside, even though he returned empty-handed.

You got not praise. You decided to keep your intereaction with Sylus a secret and pretend it was a — ohh I’m just like a cliche lady in distress in need of saving! Enzo!! But their way of perceiving is not a problem to you.

What troubles you now is how nothing adds up.

You suspect Sylus of being the one that stole the ship’s fuel, but if that’s true, why didn’t he destroy the barricade system? That means that he also knew the codes from the beginning, if he truly is the thief. But if it’s not him, then who? Why didn’t he used that Xenomorph’s acidic blood to force his own way in anyway? Where are the bodies of the scientists that arrived before you? Is there someone else that poses a bigger threat? Nothing makes sense. You made a deal too. Sylus surely haven’t forgotten.

Everything is starting to feel…

Intentional.

AN: pfewww. Took me a day to write this (told you inspiration flows better when I write in my language) BUT TRANSLATING IT AND EDITING IT— pfewww— two full business days. I hope I didn’t disappoint, I feel like this is crap. Anyways. Not sure when I will write chapter 2. This week for sure not.

Tags: @some-rad-socks-and-a-crisis @qweuf3459 @starr-matterr @stxrrielle @tinyweebsstuff @and-s0me0ne

@stargirlygirl hi sexy.

@seradyn I hope I did not disappoint a fellow alien fan.

[dinogoofymutated]

NSFW! Gambit/Fem!AFAB!reader SECOND FIC OF HALLOWEEN CELEBRATION LEHHHGOOO!!! I really hope you guys like this one, as I had a lot of fun writing it! Sorry if the smut at the end is a little barebones, I was running out of steam lol. Here's your meal my hellions!

A bat flies through your window one night, and although you're dreadfully afraid of rabies and scared to touch the little thing, it's in really bad shape and you can't stand by and just let it die. You spend the next few days nursing the little guy back to health, when one day he up and disappears. The next night you go out with your friends, and feel like you keep seeing a familiar pair of eyes in the crowd.

TWs: MDNI!!!!!! Smut, Mirror sex, bitchy neighbors, alcohol consumption, semi-public sex. vampire stuff, only half of this has been beta-read. I'll add more if I think of any.

    The bat hadn’t struggled once when you scooped it up into a spare shoebox. It didn’t scramble away, or even flinch, really. It hadn’t made a single sound or squeak, either. All it did was look up at you with strange, tired eyes. Black scelera, red iris, black pupils- paired with an exhausted haze. He was cut up, battered, and beaten. If it weren’t for how compliant it was, you might have thought the thing was feral. Which didn’t exactly help your shaking hands or constant flinching as you used the lid to urge it into the cardboard. But your fear be damned, you couldn’t just leave the little guy on the doorsteps of your apartment- the thought of the bat being crushed by clumsy feet, or poked and prodded by the little hellions that were the children who lived here was more than enough to give you the push you needed.

    Besides, it was almost… cute, for something you thought was so scary. A little vampire bat with those strange eyes that seemed to follow you wherever you went. He never failed to perk up every time you came home from work. Despite the many struggles and attempts you had trying to find something he could eat, he never seemed to hold it against you. Happy to see you when you took the lid off the shoebox to check in on him, and not too upset with you when you inevitably had to put it back on.

    Well, before he escaped, that is. 

    You knew you were going to have to let him go at some point. You were just trying to do the right thing and reach out to a wildlife rescue, or something. Hoping that they’d do something more to help him before he was set back off into the wild. But one day you came home and he was just, well, gone. The lid of the shoebox had been tossed aside, the box itself a little squished and damaged, the bat nowhere to be found. You searched your apartment for absolute ages, unable to find any trace of his existence or escape aside from a window you were sure you had locked before you left for work that afternoon.

    You sigh as you look out the window of the Uber, thoughts drawn back to the bat as you pass billboards and cornfields, hoping he had escaped the city and found himself somewhere a bit safer. Ashley and Sophie, your neighbors from across the hall, are giggling about something in the seats next to you. The chatty girls are more like acquaintances than they are your friends, but on the surface, they seem sweet. When they invited you out tonight you had been surprised, if a little hesitant. You had wrestled with your anxiety every step of the way, but once you were strapped into the sexiest costume you could find and buckled into the almost-too-small backseat of the Uber, you had started to feel a little excited- despite the fact that you stood out like a sore thumb, with the girls having chosen matching costumes at the last minute and left you out of the loop. 

    “I think we should hit the corn maze first,” Ashley says confidently from the seat next to you. It’s enough to finally clue you back into their current conversation, debating on where the night should start once you get to the Halloween festival. -It’s an “adult only” event, with more than its fair share of alcohol and more than a few scare actors who linger around to give everyone a fright- and there’s a lot to do. It’s almost like the fair, just, you know, spooky. 

    “What? No! I’m telling you, it’s not a good enough photo-op until the moon comes out. We need to do it last!” Sophie sounds adamant, and you wonder how many times they've actually had this conversation leading up to tonight. You try not to snicker as Ashley rolls her eyes, Sophie pouting across the way. They bicker a bit more before Ashley turns to you, smiling slyly. There’s an unnerving way about the way she’s looking at you, something ticking in the back of your brain that you just can’t shake. 

    “What do you think?” She asks you, Sophie leaning over to stare at you directly, Puppy eyes full-throttle as she pouts. You don’t really want to be caught between the spat of theirs, so you take a moment to think, before shrugging with your answer. 

    “I think we should start with drinks.” You say after a moment, and both girls gasp in excitement. 

    “Girlie you are so smart!! I knew we invited you for a reason!” Ashley’s high-pitched voice cheers harshly in your ears as she lightly slaps your arm, but you smile at her anyway, despite the fact that her tone made it feel rather belittling. It’s fine. This is fine, it will be fine. Your anxiety feels like a ticking time bomb, but you know that when you get there and start having fun, it will eventually fade into the background of the noise and lights of the festival. At least, you hoped it would.

    The festival is pretty packed when you get there, but the wide walkways and plentiful games, areas, and events make it more approachable. After the first watery drink of the night, you start to relax a little. And as bitchy and frigid as the girls can be sometimes, they’re a lot of fun when it comes to a party! Carnival games, photo areas, rides, and jumpscares? You find yourself laughing most of the night as the three of you goof off and stumble your way through the corn maze, clown maze, haunted maze- a little repetitive in that area, but fun nonetheless.

    The funny thing was, despite all the people here, and everyone the girls have stopped to flirt with and talk to, you keep seeing this one particular guy. He was certainly one to stand out in a crowd, tall, dark, and handsome with what looked like a permanent smirk on his face. But the one thing you couldn’t seem to shake was his eyes. They had to be contacts, right? Black Scelera, red irises, black pupils… just, strange. And familiar, somehow. You feel like you see him everywhere you go, somehow always in your vicinity, but not really in a stalkerish kind of way. Besides, it was more than likely just a coincidence. 

    After a while of playing various games and a couple more watery drinks, you’re feeling pretty warm and a little crowded. Ashley and Sophie had run into some acquaintances they knew and had stopped to chat for a bit. They talk about some of the more busy and exciting things you haven't been able to check out yet, but the longer you stand there, the less appealing all of this starts to sound. You’re beginning to feel a little overstimulated, and go ahead and let the girls know you’d rather sit this one out. Sophie doesn’t answer you at all, and all Ashley does is wave you off. It sparks some annoyance in your chest, but knowing that you’re overwhelmed and everything feels like it's at 100% right now- you shrug it off. 

    You find a bale of hay to sit on where you told them you’d wait, relieved at the feeling of the cool night air that’s uninterrupted by masses of warm bodies and hot breathing. The sound of the crowd is a little muffled over here, and the slight breeze just gives you everything you need for a quick break from the chaos, eyes closed as you lean back onto your hands. Not for long though, as someone plops down onto the space next to you pretty much immediately. 

    “Busy night, ay, cher?” Your eyes flick open quickly, and the source of that thick Cajun draw just so happens to be the handsome man you had been seeing all night. You blush a little, both out of nervousness and from the fact that he was even more attractive up close. The cool air suddenly feels sweltering with his eys on you like this. 

    “...yeah, I guess so.” You say after a moment, pressing a cool palm against one of your hot cheeks for a quick moment. The stranger chuckles at you, a flash of a fake fang appearing with his smile. 

    “Name’s Remy, Remy LeBeau.” He holds his hand out for a handshake, which you take with a smile. “Pretty girl like you gotta name?” You can’t help but giggle a little, and tell him your name, butterflies in your stomach with the way he’s looking at you.

    “Nice to meet you, officially.” You say, and he cocks an eyebrow at you with that signature smirk of his. “I mean- like, I feel like I’ve been seeing you everywhere tonight! Not in a creepy way or anything, I just…” You take your hand back from him, covering your face in embarrassment as you apologize again with a sigh. God, why were you so awkward? You drop your hands into your lap as Remy begins to laugh, with you blushing furiously in a way you pray you can blame on the alcohol. 

    “ s’ good to know I make a lasting impression,” Remy says, and it’s charming enough to make you crack another smile. 

    “I promise I’m not normally this strange. It’s been a bit of a night.” The words come out like a sigh, and you glance over where the “stressors” of the night had run off to, strangely thankful when you can't see them through the crowd. You feel like your heart skips a beat when you look back over at Remy, with a smile on his face and a fondness in his eyes you feel like might be a little too friendly for someone you just met.

    “I don’t mind, Cher. You’ll find that I like strange.” He replies, sending you a wink. You let out a short laugh, cocking an eyebrow at him.

    “You know what? I believe you.” You say, all Remy does is smile wider. You glance at him again, looking at him from head to toe as you take in his appearance up close. You can’t really tell if he’s wearing a costume, or if he had just stuck on some vampire teeth and called it a night. Either way, he looks good, and you really do not want to make a further fool of yourself. 

    “What led you here, anyway? Costume catch your eye?” You flirt, hoping you don’t come off as nervous as you are- not really one to flirt with handsome strangers. But hey! When the opportunity presents itself… Remy raises his eyebrows, interested. 

    “Sure, Somethin' like that.”

    You and Remy talk for a really, really long time. From the outside looking in, just about anyone would presume you were a couple with the easy-flowing conversation and back-and-forth flirting. You just clicked! It was so easy for your nerves to wash away, and for a long moment, all of your anxieties about the night were long forgotten. One of the two of you had scooted closer in the duration of your flirt-fest, not that you really noticed while caught up in his words and charismatic smile- your sides being pressed together and his hand resting behind you. He’s close enough to lean in and kiss you, and honestly, you certainly wouldn’t mind if he did.

    “So you want my number then?” The words are admittedly cocky, but damn did this guy make you feel so confident in your own skin.

    “You hear me say I didn’t?” Remy replies, cocking his head at you. You can't help but laugh, smiling like some cheesy idiot.

    “Do you flirt like this with every girl?”

    “Jus’ the ones I like.”

    You really hadn’t noticed how long the two of you had been sitting together, an hour? Maybe an hour and a half? Your phone had been long forgotten, and you weren’t really planning to check it either until you heard a giddy squeal from your right. Both you and Remy look over to the noise, only to see the girls, without their clique from before and presumably done with all of their roaming at the moment.

    “Hey girlie! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Ashley says, drawing you into an awkward side hug that you don’t return, confused.

    “I told you where I’d be?” She brushes you off, locking eyes with Remy for just long enough for her eyebrows to raise and a glint to light up in her eyes. 

    “Who’s this?” You don’t have time to answer before Sophie is in front of you, taking your hands and dragging you to your feet.

    “Come get food with us!! We need an excuse to sober up, and we’re not doing it without you, bestie!”  Both of them are being a little more friendly than normal, and it's enough to make you a little suspicious. But, food did sound pretty nice at the moment. You look back at Remy with a sheepish smile, and you find that he’s already looking at you. 

    “ S’ alright, Cher. I’m a patient man.” He gives you a reassuring smile, and you relax a little more, unable to keep yourself from smiling as butterflies light up in your stomach. The girls drag you away pretty much immediately, talking about some afterparty or whatnot, but all you can think of the entire time is the implications of that statement.

    “Where’d you find a man like that?” Sophie’s voice finally catches your attention while in line for the carnival food, and you give her a questioning look.

    “Sorry?” You ask, and both of them giggle in that way that just seems to set alarms off in your head.

    “I’m serious! Almost every guy we’ve seen tonight has been like, a seven. That one is literally a ten.” Sophie giggles again, sending Ashley a knowing look. You blush a little, thinking about Remy again, but there’s just something about this conversation that’s making you uncomfortable.

    “Well, I didn’t exactly find him. He approached me.” You admit, shrugging your shoulders. The girls exchange skeptical looks, before laughing again.

    “Really?” Ashley asks this time, a wolfish smile on her face. It’s rhetorical- and feels just plain bitchy. Your face screws up, and you think about confronting her, but they quickly and ignorantly delve into a separate conversation, and you reluctantly decide to let it go. What the fuck was up with them? You don’t fall into conversation with them for a minute as you try to collect yourself, knowing you’d rather ride home with them than pay for a separate Uber. And starting a fight was definitely not going to work in your favor, seeing as they were your neighbors. They had a pack mentality like no other, and after tonight you’d much rather be able to ignore them forever instead of having a neiborly feud. 

    Eventually, you do decide to join the conversation. The line for food was ridiculously fucking long, and although it was moving, you still felt so impatient. Your phone is dying, and you’d really rather save your battery for Remy’s number and the ride home- so you talk and hope for the best. Eventually, Ashley says she needs to go to the bathroom and hands her wallet to Sophie before she stalks off. She’s gone for a while. A really long while. As you’re finally inching your way to the end of the line, Sophie tells you she’s going to find her. You actually welcome the peace and quiet, and promise to hold the spot. 4th in line. 3rd. 2nd. You’re starting to get anxious by the fact that neither of them had returned, but you get to the end and they’re still not back. 

    You buy a funnel cake for yourself, almost worried about the two as you walk back to the hay bale where you left Remy. The crowd finally starts to clear a bit, and when the Hay bale is finally in sight, you actually assume that you were looking at the wrong spot for a minute- until you recognize the costumes, and then spot the brunette they are both latched onto.

    Ashley is in his space, her costume unzipped just enough for anyone walking past to get a view. Sophie is leaning across his shoulders, running her fingers through his hair and twirling the ends with manicured fingers You can’t see his face- but it didn’t really matter anyway. 

    You don’t mean to drop the funnel cake, but you do. There's a shot of ice through your veins when it clicks for you, finally, as you watch them from a distance- it was a ploy. A stupid fucking ploy. You were the ugly friend- If they could even call you that. You were invited to make them look better. The matching costumes, the conspiring looks, the whole thing about Remy. Jesus Christ, had you always been this blind? Your face is warm with humiliation, eyes watering as you desperately try not to cry.

    Remy had nothing to do with it- of course, he didn’t, you just met him, but as you look at the two draped over him… You just feel like you can’t really compare. You know better. You do- but god, did it hurt. You don’t want to go over there for them to make fun of you again, and you sure as hell don’t want to feel the sting of rejection that will inevitably come when he ditches you for them. Before you know it, your feet are moving. You’re not thinking clearly- hardly thinking at all. You see a side entrance, or maybe a fire exit, not that you really care. You can’t read anything through your tears, closing the door behind you and plugging yourself into darkness as it clicks shut.

    Inside, you find a mirror maze- again, what was with all of the fucking mazes? The overhead lights are off, what little light that’s coming from the outside dimly reflecting through each and every silvery mirror. It’s completely abandoned, with not a single soul in sight. You step over some shattered glass as you make your way further into the maze, and understand it was probably because drunks and mirrors don’t mix. 

    You find a dead end in the maze, and it’s like your legs give out. You can't help but just sit on the ground and sob for a minute. The backs of your hands are stained with the mascara that you’re sure is streaking down your face. You feel like an idiot- stupid, dramatic, pathetic. And you looked it, too. Every mirror reflects the mess of what you have become until you can’t stand to look at yourself anymore, pulling your knees to your chest and tucking your head into your arms.

    It's a quiet reprieve. You sit for a minute, long after your tears have dried. Your breathing begins to return to normal as the humiliation really starts to settle in. You’re so tired, and exhausted, and find yourself wishing you had never come out tonight at all, visioning your comfy bed that waits for you at home. 

    “The one an’ only,” He replies. It’s hard to see him in the low lighting, but it’s not like you’re looking around much anyway. There’s a silence between you two, and your gaze is locked on the floor, refusing to look at him with your stupid pout and tear-stained face.

    “Pauvre ti bête. Looks like you need new friends, Cher.” The sound of the voice makes you flinch, the daylight scared out of you as a dark figure sits down by your side.

    “Remy?” You wipe at your face again, knowing it was to no avail, and that the damage to your makeup had already been done. 

    “Sat for a while, waitin’ on you.” He says, after a long moment, and it makes you feel so much fucking worse. You curl into yourself a little more.

    “Sorry, I just… I dunno, I thought you looked busy.” The words are more of a whisper than anything, and he chuffs something that’s not quite a laugh in response.

    “I guess you could say that.” He hums, leaning back on his hands as you finally turn to look at him. “Hadda swat those girls like damn mosquitos to get 'em off. Felt like they were tryna swallow me whole.” You can’t help but laugh at that, rubbing your eyes a bit.

    “...Trust me, they were probably trying to swallow something.” The words are out of your mouth before your brain can really catch up. Remy laughs a full laugh, smiling brightly at you now that you’ve started to come back out of your shell once again. 

    “Sorry, that was crude.”

    “Sounded pretty funny to me,” Remy’s grin is contagious, not that you ever would complain. You roll your eyes at him with that big smile on your face, leaning your head against the mirror behind you.

    “I guess I can’t really blame them, either.” You mumble, eyes going wide once you realize that that was most definitely not supposed to leave your lips. “God damn, I really have lost my filter!” Remy begins to laugh again as you cover your face, flushed with embarrassment. He doesn’t seem to mind the comment at all. Pulling your hands away as he struggles to contain his laughter. 

    “I like you, y’know that?” He says, and it makes you smile. You sit in comfortable silence for a bit, and before you know it, you find yourself leaning on his shoulder, eyes closed. Your thoughts slowly begin to wander. Remy’s very sweet, and the fact that he still came looking for you despite everything… It meant a lot. You can only imagine how uncomfortable he had been with Ashley and Sophie hanging off of him, waiting, wondering where you had gone. If he notices as your smile slowly becomes a frown, he doesn’t say anything. 

    “I’m sorry I left you out there.” You say quietly, breaking the silence that had become so uncomfortable for you. “I hadn’t realized they invited me to be the “ugly” friend until right then and I just needed to get away from it all.” There’s a featherlight brush of skin against your cheek, and when you open your eyes, Remy pushes a few strands of hair out of your face, thumb lingering against your skin. You find yourself caught up in his piercing gaze. It’s almost like he’s looking into your soul.

    “Pretty dumb choice to invite you if they were looking for an ugly friend.” His voice is low, and his cool hand feels nice against your flushed skin. You can’t drag your eyes away from his, gazes locked together as the tension only grows- thick enough to cut with a knife and choke you as you breathe it in. It’s he who breaks the eye contact first, stunning red irises flickering down to your lips and back up again. 

    “Really,” You ask, but it’s less of a question and more like a filler, mind unable to provide anything other than that. You’re caught up in that little action of his, swallowing, unable to look away from him. Suddenly, you realize just how close he really is.

    “Mais oui,” He mumbles, close enough for you to feel the slight breath that comes with the words. His thumb and finger prop up your chin, but he moves no closer, waiting for you. It’s hardly a debate for you to decide to brush your lips against his own.

    It’s like fireworks explode behind your eyelids when the space between you closes, his lips melding against you perfectly. It’s soft and sweet. Gentle for a man as much of a flirt as he appeared to be. He kisses you a few times, just like that, until the kiss starts to develop into something a little more heated. He turns to face you a little better, the sharp fangs in his mouth grazing your bottom lip as he leans over you and licks at the seam of your lips- which you eagerly open for him. Fuck, he was a good kisser. 

    Before long, you’re leaning back on your palms, and one of Remy’s knees presses between your thighs. Your elbows buckle just a little, and he’s quick to catch you. One of his hands is on the small of your back as he keeps you propped up, the other one flat against the floor as he keeps both of you from falling. He nips at your lip- the tip of his canine just barely splitting the skin before he kisses away your yelp, licking the blood away just as quickly as it had appeared. As embarrassing as it was, the action alone was enough to get the attention of heat slowly building in your abdomen. His kisses trail from your lips down to your neck, kissing the sensitive skin there. 

    Your eyes slowly open, half-lidded as you weave your fingers through his hair, tongue softly licking at the stinging soreness of that bottom lip of yours. He’s not as aggressive with the rest of you, kissing and sucking dark spots into you as the sharp canines only drag and graze. Your eyes wander to a mirror across from you- one just barely lit from what you were sure was a hole in the roof- the full moon lining up just perfectly enough to light the mirrored room.

    It takes a second for you to recognize what you see in the mirror.

    You see yourself. Just yourself, leaned over as if you were hovering, neck exposed with purple marks blooming mysteriously across your skin. It’s you. Just you. Only you.

    A gasp is ripped out of your throat, and if the way your spine goes rigid wasn’t enough to alert Remy, it was the fast, pounding beat of your heart. Your eyes are glued to that image reflected in the mirror, even as Remy removes himself from your neck and finds himself staring at that same image. He stiffens, an unreadable look on his face before he recovers with an amused hum. 

    “Well, Don’t we make a lovely couple?” He muses. And when you finally look back at him, his strange eyes and sharp fangs, you realize exactly what he is. A wave of familiarity washes over you again, but you can’t place it as the horror begins to wash over you. 

    “Oh my god.” You breathe, almost stuck in disbelief. This could not be real, could it? That smirk of his makes yet another appearance, and yet something feels off about it. Deceptive, almost. It does not reach his eyes.

    “What, you afraid?” He asks with a chuckle. You wonder for a moment about the situation you had put yourself into, held in the arms of what could only be a vampire. All you can do is look at him, wide-eyed. If stories were to be believed, he’d be caging you in his arms, holding you in an iron grip before he strikes- bleeding you dry without care… 

    But he’s not. Yes, he was holding you up, but the arm around you is loose. His body language is open- and you get the feeling that if you tried to make a run for it, he’d let you. He’s not vicious. He’s not snapping at you or pinning you down. Hell, he had the chance to bite you earlier while you were pliant and eager, and he didn’t. 

    “...I don’t actually know, right now.” You finally respond, and something shifts. His breath catches in his throat, and the barest glimpse of vulnerability is gone within a second as he leans back a little, giving you a chance to sit up a bit more. You do so hesitantly.

    “I’m not here to hurt you, Cher. Just wanted to give you a proper thank you.” He rumbles. He takes one of your hands, lifting it to his mouth to press a kiss to your knuckles, gaze never leaving your own. Black, red, black. Where had you seen that before?

    “Proper… what?” You furrow your eyebrows, trying your damndest to make sense of it all. Black, red, black. Black, red, black. Sharp teeth. Vampires, bats, Vampire bats. Vampire bat. Vampire bat. For the second time tonight, it all clicks for you. 

    “Holy shit. You-? The bat?-” You feel like you’re at a loss for words. Remy smiles again, fangs catching the low light of the mirrored room.

    “That’d be me.” He admits, thumb rubbing over your knuckles. “ ‘Thought I was done for until you showed up. Most vamps like that? They don’t make it inside ‘fore the sun comes up.” He chuckles, but the seriousness of the situation is not lost on you. Saving the life of an immortal being rather than the life of a small bat is something huge, it felt like it, at least. 

    “Did you follow me here? Is that why I kept seeing you around tonight?” You ask. Remy simply shrugs his shoulders, letting your fingers go as he inches forward, looming over you once again. 

    “Think of it as more of a happy accident.” Remy sets his arms on either side of you, leaning close enough for his nose to gently brush against yours. You think he’s going to kiss you as his hand comes up to cup your chin. Instead, Remy runs his thumb across your lower lip, which you hadn’t even realized had started to bleed again. He brings the thumb to his mouth, licking the smear of blood. The sight is seductive. Arousing. You find yourself staring at his lips, conflicted. He sets his forehead against your own, hovering over your lips. There’s a heated look in his eyes when you look back up at them.

    “Tell me to leave, Cher, And I’ll go.” You swallow as he says the words, a flutter in your chest and a growing warmth within you. You bite your lower lip, your hesitance quickly being overshadowed by want.

    “... You're not gonna suck my blood or anything?” You ask, lips beginning to brush against his own. He chuckles, and this time he’s close enough for you to feel the sound as it rumbles through his chest.

    “Not unless you want me to…” He’s teasing you now, making you chase his lips until he’s fully sure you really want this, and you do. When they finally meet, his lips press against yours just as spectacularly as they did the first time. One of his hands snakes around the back of your neck, shielding the lower part of your head as he lowers you to the floor. You find yourself lost in his kisses, thinking of only him and the way he treats you so gently. 

    He props himself up with one strong arm, the other cupping the side of your face rather reverently, his thumb stroking across your cheekbone. Your hands can’t help but wander up and down his torso, feeling the muscle beneath his shirt. You feel him smile against your lips as you do, kissing at the corner of your mouth, and then your jaw, before the fluttery movement traces a path over each and every discolored spot on your neck, kissing the marks he had given you not even twenty minutes earlier. Your hands come up to tangle in his hair as the kisses venture further. His cold face presses into your open cleavage, an open palm dragging up from your thigh and sliding beneath your top, softly squeezing the bare skin of your waist. You find yourself arching into his touch, eager for his soft caress. 

    You have goosebumps down your chest as his fangs graze the skin, his fingers hooking around the neckline of your shirt and the bra underneath it from the inside. The cool air hits your bare breasts as he tugs it down, your nipples pebbling at the frigid draft. Your breath hitches at the feeling as his lips venture down your sternum, his free hand moving out from under the fabric to palm and toy with one breast as he begins to tease the other. He chuckles at you when you let out a whine, fingers tugging on his locks.

    “Have a little patience, Cher.” There’s a seductive lure to his voice as Remy tells you to have a little faith in him, pressing one last kiss to the swell of one said breast as he moves back up. He easily draws you into another long, heated kiss. He continues to play with the breast in his hand, pinching and testing the supple give of the skin. Your muffled whines and moans are music to his ears as he presses his knee against your heated core, only relenting with his playful touches when he slides his palm under your spine, forcing you to arch your back. He lets go of your lips to drag his attention back to your breast, now sucking at the stiff peaks, careful of his sharp teeth. 

    “Remy,” His name comes out inadvertently, the sound making him groan against you. Your hands have slid down from their hold on his scalp, now resting against his wide shoulders with a tight grip on the fabric of his shirt. His palm wanders up and down the expanse of your back, thriving off of the feeling of your hot, flushed skin against his cold body. 

    The feeling of your top being bunched around your waist starts to become uncomfortable and suffocating. You squirm to try and take it off yourself, but Remy is quick to stop you. He pulls it off of you slowly, kissing every inch of skin it drags against as it goes. Once it's off, he leans back to get a good look at you, cursing under his breath as his hands find your thighs. You know for a fact you’re flushed and red from the neck down. The sight only encourages Remy further, quickly sitting up and removing his own shirt, keeping his gaze on yours throughout the movement. 

    It’s not surprising when his upper body catches your attention, the lean muscle impressive for a man who’s basically dead. Or was he? When he’s back within reach, you run your right hand from his happy trail till you reach his collarbone, fingertips pressing into the cold skin as you try to feel for a pulse. He hums, a mischievous glint in his eye when he realizes what you’re doing. 

    “You won’t find a heartbeat, cher. Not from me.” Remy confirms your thoughts. You can only hum in response, leaning up to press a soft kiss where your hand had been, over his heart. Remy lets out a low groan at the action, inciting a slow grind of his hips against yours.

    “Merde.” He mumbles.“You play a dangerous game, makin’ a dead heart flutter.” 

    “Do I really?” You ask, biting your lip. Remy leans in, just far enough to teasingly brush his lips against your own before he moves down the length of your neck, never touching you in the way to crave so badly. 

    “I get the feeling you like dangerous games.” There's something sharp against your neck, the tips of his fangs gently dragging across the skin. Your heart is pounding in your chest, but not out of fear. He grinds his hips into you once again, your hips eagerly bucking to meet his own. You swallow deeply at the sound he makes at the action- realizing that you just might want him to bite into you. It’s crazy. You feel crazy. It must be so tantalizing for him to be pressed against you like this, fully aware of the red-hot blood rushing through your veins and the constant pounding of your heart. And yet, he never takes the bait. 

    Remy’s lips meet your own again right as your hands meet the buckle of his jeans. He sighs against your lips as you undo it, sliding your hand underneath the stiff fabric to feel the hardness he hides underneath. He’s… big. Not necessarily long, but he’s thicker than you had expected him to be. You stroke him over the fabric of his boxers, feeling his length twitch under your touch. When he separates from the kiss, he tucks his head into your shoulder. You can’t help but giggle at the action as you begin to pull both garments down, his cock slapping against his lower abdomen once freed. 

    “Are you sensitive, Remy?” You ask him, turning your head to bury it in his hair. You wrap your hand around his cock, hearing him moan before cursing quietly when you give him a slight squeeze. 

    “Sometimes.” He mumbles, one of his calloused hands coming up to one of your breasts, gently rubbing his thumb over your nipple to encourage it to a stiff peak. You can’t help but let out a surprised moan as he pinches and teases, feeling his smile against the skin of your shoulder. 

    “But I got nothin’ on you.” Remy kisses your breast, before taking a long, slow lick across the sensitive skin. He takes the nub into his mouth, giving it a short suck before he lets go of it with a pop. 

    You almost want to whine and complain when Remy removes himself from you, but quickly lose the thought as you watch him remove his pants and boxers in one movment. Once he’s done, he slowly slides his hands from your ankles to your hips, hooking his fingers underneath the fabric of your bottoms. He kisses the space beneath your belly button, red eyes trained on your own as he slowly drags the clothing down, undressing you until you’re bare. He licks his lips at the sight of you, slowly spreading your legs as he begins to kiss from your knees to your…

    “You don’t- you don’t have to do that.” You stutter out once you realize what he’s doing. You’ve never been eaten out before, and the sight of him between your legs has already got you flushed and nervous- embarresed, even. Remy’s eyes shift back up to your face, his fingers sliding between your admittedly slick folds as you try to hold back a moan.

    “Vampires are creatures of desire, cher. Thirsty ones at that.” He rumbles, and it’s like everywhere he touches you is on fire, his cool hands stroking you into a lustful heat. “Should I beg for you to consider?” He’s got this knowing look on his face, watching you as you bite your lip, face twitching with pleasure every time those fingers of his graze your clit. He slides a finger into you without resistance, curling it just right. You buck your hips into the feeling, nodding vigorously as a final go-ahead. 

    Remy dives into your cunt like a man starved. 

    Every lick of his tongue and curl of his fingers has you seeing stars. Fuck, did it feel good. He touches you expertly, finding spots within you that you didn't even know you had. He lets a moan slip now and then, fully immersed in the warm wetness of your pussy. 

    Your legs are hooked over his shoulders, a hand splayed across your lower abdomen to keep you from bucking up into his mouth as he enjoys himself. You feel close to cumming embarrassingly quick- quick in a way you had never known yourself to even be capable of.

    “Remy!” It's an urgent call of his name, your hands tangling themselves in his hair as you attempt to warn him. He hums in response, right over your clit, and it does nothing but push your body further. You come with a rather embarrassing noise, hips twitching and thighs pressing into the side of his head. You can't help but assume that not needing to breathe was only a bonus for the man currently suffocating between your pillowy thighs. 

    He lets you ride out your orgasm with enthusiasm, pressing sweet kisses to the skin around your sensitive cunt as your breathing begins to even out and your legs begin to relax around him. 

    He looks absolutely wrecked when he sits up. His hair is messy, a pussydrunk smile he's certainly not afraid to hide spreading across his face. 

    “You feelin’ alright, cher?” He asks. You eagerly nod in response, leaning into his touch when he crawls back over you to place a kiss against your lips. You've never been one to taste yourself, but you find that you don’t mind tasting it on his lips. Remy's cock begins a slow grind against you, grazing your clit with every stroke. You moan into the kiss, a string of spit between your mouths when you separate long enough to catch your breath.

    “Fuck.” The word is whispered, but that doesn't stop Remy from catching it. He lets out a low laugh, collecting your wetness as he grinds. 

    “You ready for me?” He asks. You nodd, closing your eyes as you eagerly wait for the stretch of his cock. Exempt, he stops.

    “I need you to give me a yes, cher.”

    “Yes-” He swallows the rest of that word in an eager kiss, finally sliding into your heat inch by inch. You both moan in union, feeling every inch of that slow stretch. He's cold. Not freezing, but cold. It's unlike any feeling you've felt before, and surprisingly, you want more of it.

    His body begins to warm a little more everywhere the two of you touch- and god, does it feel good. Remy favors a steady pace, with powerful thrusts that hit you right every single time. It felt like he was made for you, and he most definitely felt the same. Remy kisses you like a man in love, fucking you in a way that makes you see rings instead of stars. 

    Every smack of his hips against yours is rather careful, measured even. It's only when he pulls out of you and flips you onto your stomach like a ragdoll that you realize the kind of strength he holds- suddenly grateful for his caution. He's quick to go back to rearranging your insides once he has you on your knees, front pressed against your back as he kisses at the nape of your neck and slides his arm around your front, palm splayed under a boob with his thumb on the valley between.

    “Look at us, love.” His chest rumbles against your back, and it's not even a whole minute before the position changes again, Remy pulling you against him as he sits up onto his knees, holding you steady as he makes you face the mirror. 

    You wish that you could see his reflection in that mirror as you gaze upon the sight of you, red face flushed and needy. You don't see the way he holds you pressed so tightly against his chest, or the way he admires that evocative image of you, shaking with each thrust. 

    “Aren't you a sight, bele.” His breath is cold against your ear, his hand coming down to circle your clit as his thrusts pick up in pace. You can tell he's close, reaching that peak just as fast as you reach your own. You grasp at his hands, moans and whine only getting louder as that pleasure gets ever-so-close.

    His groan against your ear is unnecessarily hot, his thrusts stuttering right before he pulls out of you. His cock rests just below your lower lips, using the friction of your thighs as he reaches that high. He cums in thick streaks, your own release following directly after.

    There's a buzzing sound right as Remy sits back, placing you in his lap as he kisses across your shoulders sweetly. You relax against him, boneless as you both try to catch your breath. The buzzing stops for a moment before it continues again. You hardly register the noise, and are certainly in no condition to try and find the source.

    When Remy looks over to the sound, he finds your phone hiding beneath the scattered clothes on the floor. It's his shirt, and he reaches over to grab it. The phone is set to the side as he maneuvers you around, dressing you in his shirt like a gentleman.

    “Cher?” You hum, only halfway aware at the moment as Remy calls your name. He hands you your phone, and you open your eyes just enough to unlock it and see the fifteen missed calls from Ashley and Sophie. 

    “God damnit. Can't I have any peace?” You curse. Remy laughs, watching from over your shoulder as you check the additional excessive Snapchat messages from them. 

    “Maybe we should send them a message, no?” Remy reaches over to your phone, swiping over to the Snapchat camera, angling it to where both of your sweaty, disheveled faces are inframe, along with the line of purple hickies that trail down your neck. Jesus christ, you were about to fuck him all over again for even suggesting this. Who knew you were into revenge like that?

    “Oh fuck yes.”

[yoijin]

FRIENDS, BUT HE'S DOWN BAD !

∆ College AU, really dorm involved, implied reader plays sports(Rin's part), lowkey can be read as Gn!r, Sae's part a little short

Ft.: Nagi, Rin, Sae, Karasu, Bachira × M!Reader [separate]

Trying to come back to writing, so this is just me testing the waters.. interactions appreciated :D

Nagi's own way to flirt with you is to sneak into your dorm (when Reo's out to drag his ass to practice after classes). Shadowing your steps with his ":x" face, watching you unlock the door. And hurriedly shuffling his steps in, — knowing how Reo is fast in seeking for him — flopping on your bed with little bother before whining to not snitch he was hiding from practice. Even having the audacity to fall asleep on your mattresses. Rumors say he doesn't even share a dorm with Reo anymore by how often he is by yours. When you tried to shoo him away, Nagi cried 20 excuses so you just gave up.

"Your dorm is closer to the campus than mines. What a pain, just give the spare keys already. It would be easier like that. Easy peasy."

Rin's own way to flirt with you was to be around more often than needed. Always taking the seat beside you in hangouts where he’s dragged in by his teammates or in events where ALL the other seats are open. Sharing walks across the campus just to refill the water bottles because the water fountain near the clubs would be crowded by other players. Often seen coming over to your dorm during Friday nights, a day only reserved for watching and playing horror media with you, rather than chilling/studying on his own dorm.

"The game you wanted to play is going to be released soon." Rin said while picking up his phone, looking up at the way you perked up. "Really—? When?? I have to get an early buy." "I already did that."

Sae's own way to flirt with you is to invite you to be his plus one in anything, especially in events where it's required of presence. ' you free for the xxx gala? I need a plus one ' as you read off the phone. He doesn't even do it for romance— your presence just happens to be the most enjoyable out of all his friends. He'll let you yap about whatever and sit through it. You'll get quiet and you'll both enjoy it. The simplicity made a contrast to his daily achievements, and he quietly harbored the feeling of warmth you shared.

"When am I goin' to be your plus one again? I'm lonely, Sae-chan." Shidou slumped on his couch, boring eyes at the ceiling. "Quit whining. I do it because I want it to be him."

Karasu's own way to flirt with you is to agonize silently as he once again, the first view of your posts. Look, he just happens to be online at the moment and his finger just presses the notification bubble instinctively, so it's not his fault he's seeing your freshly posted story... 1 second was his record. 'm' an idiot...' as he closes his eyes and suck his lips into a tin line, suppressing the wave of embarrassment. He feels like a stalker. A no-life aside from soccer and high scores. But he's afraid he cannot escape the white lies he tells himself when the same thing keeps happening even during training. Not in a creepy way of course, the feeling of an embarrassing side like this being so exposed to you makes his mind spin.

"Not again..." He quickly closes his phone in hopes the system of views magically doesn't register him.

Bachira's own way of flirting with you was to give you things he made during an art course he took for fun. Oh what is this, your boring pencil? Let him disappear with it for a day and you'll now have a colorful, weird shaped pencil! Smiling without a clue in the world to his other art peers as he yet makes another fun interactive trinket for you. You have a shelf dedicated to his shenanigans and he's over the moon when he sees it. Even his mom — throws knowing looks at him when he's all over some project, again, with you being his muse. (His classmates are tired).

"Look, look! It's us! I made this, isn't it cute?" It's two rocks with the personification of you and him.

tyty for reading !

[weaselandfriends]

Paranoia Agent (anime)

Unlike most works I review, where I often seek meaning "between the cracks," Paranoia Agent expects its viewer to interpret it beyond the surface level. The plot operates almost entirely via metaphor, eschewing conventional or even fantastical explanations for its core events. There is no dream machine, as in director Satoshi Kon's followup effort Paprika, that contextualizes the surreal occurrences with a sci-fi veneer. Nor are these occurrences depicted as psychological stand-ins, like in his earlier Perfect Blue, where a bouncing ghost idol chasing the heroine is revealed to actually be a mundane middle-aged woman huffing and puffing as she struggles to keep up.

Instead, Lil Slugger (AKA Shounen Bat or Bat Boy) literally exists in the world of Paranoia Agent, but the show is utterly disinterested in explaining how or why he exists; Tsukiko makes him up to get out of a jam, the media runs with her story, people gossip about it, and suddenly he is really there, actually attacking people. Approaching the narrative logically is a fool's errand, which makes Paranoia Agent difficult to engage with on a surface level. There is no surface level. You can understand Perfect Blue or Paprika in terms of plot synopsis without engaging with their themes, but Paranoia Agent makes no sense unless it is understood metaphorically.

Which begs the question: What is the metaphor at the heart of Paranoia Agent? What does Lil Slugger represent?

The common refrain throughout the show, whenever people explain how Lil Slugger operates as a serial assailant, is that he "shows up and attacks people who feel cornered." The people he attacks (whether they survive or die) seem to be "relieved" afterward, as if the attack has freed them from whatever responsibilities or obligations cornered them in the first place. Ultimately, Lil Slugger is revealed to have been invented by Tsukiko when, as a child, she let her dog get hit by a car; by claiming she was attacked by a kid with a baseball bat, she shifted blame for the incident away from herself. From these clues, the basic interpretation is that Lil Slugger represents victimization, particularly victimization that enables the supposed victim to avoid responsibility for their actions.

(By the way, I wonder why there's that big mushroom cloud in the OP? I wonder what that has to do with this?)

Paranoia Agent, via its semi-episodic structure, applies this metaphor of victimization to multiple strata of Japanese society, using it to interrogate Japan's cultural ideals, its preference for escapism in pop culture, and its high suicide rates. After a first episode that establishes the primary characters and core conceits of the show, episodes 2 through 4 take on a tone of social satire, dealing with a series of stereotypical exemplars of Japanese society (the popular honors student, the demure tradwife, the hardworking family man) who conceal darker, id-driven impulses (egomania, sexual rapacity, avaricious corruption). The reason these characters feel "cornered" is due to a need to maintain their outward-facing persona despite the growing demands of the id. Harumi, the woman with split personality in episode 3, embodies this strife explicitly as her dual personalities fight each other for control over the same body.

Notably, these characters all suffer nonlethal attacks from Lil Slugger. Though there is a vague suggestion that Lil Slugger "gains power" over the course of the story due to his memetic spread, which provides some justification for why these early victims survive while most later ones die, the nonlethality makes sense on a metaphorical level too. These characters are not attempting to escape reality but rather integrate themselves into it despite their hidden sins. Lil Slugger's attack is convenient for them, as the narrative of victimization he enables papers over the cracks that were starting to show in their masks. The honors student Yuichi, for instance, is seen by his peers as a bully -- they even believe he is Lil Slugger -- so becoming a victim of Lil Slugger eliminates this narrative, though he really is a bully.

A major shift in the metaphor of Lil Slugger happens in episodes 6 and 7. The victim in episode 6, Taeko, is unlike the earlier victims in that she is actually a victim and not someone who has brought her predicament upon herself via personal failings. She is "cornered" after discovering her father's incestuous lust for her, and Lil Slugger "helps" her not by giving her a way to conceal this fact from society, the way Yuichi and Harumi do, but to conceal it from herself -- he gives her amnesia, the first instance of permanent damage a victim receives.

From there, Paranoia Agent extends the metaphor naturally to suicide. The copycat assailant Kozuka is, in episode 7, the first victim Lil Slugger kills. Kozuka is a bizarre character not simply because he looks identical to Lil Slugger but also because of how differently he is depicted in his three major appearances. In episode 5, he is a self-proclaimed "holy warrior" and appears to be unable to tell video games from reality, but after Det. Ikari commits a little police brutality on him in episode 7 he changes entirely, admitting to fabricating most of his story. It's here, actually feeling the threat of police custody, he becomes "cornered" and is killed by Lil Slugger.

Meanwhile, episode 8 posthumously sheds more light on Kozuka, revealing him to be a frequent poster (alias "FOX") on a forum dedicated to suicide, with a seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of suicide methods. This side of Kozuka is only hinted at once before, during his true confession, when he vaguely describes his motives for the copycat attacks: "So I thought, if... if I'm gonna do it anyway, then... before that..."

In Kozuka are unified the remaining two aspects of Japanese society Paranoia Agent explores via its central metaphor: escapism and suicide. Though it's ultimately unclear how much Kozuka actually believes his video game narrative and how much of it is him screwing with his police interrogators (he spends the entirety of episode 5 with a smug smile etched on his face), all versions of Kozuka are unified in their attempt to escape reality. In episode 5 this escape is via palliative fantasy media, in episode 7 this escape is from responsibility for his actions (most similar to the type of escape sought by the victims in the early episodes), and in episode 8 it's via suicide. He encapsulates all facets of Lil Slugger's complex metaphor in one character; it's no mistake that he is visually identical to Lil Slugger, a copycat or mirror, because he reveals everything that Lil Slugger represents in miniature. Kozuka's arc comprising the exact center of the show (in terms of episode count) also enables the show to pivot between these facets in a tonally succinct way. Well, almost. I actually attempted to watch Paranoia Agent once, many years before, and dropped it in frustration after episode 5, finding the ridiculous video-game-as-reality narrative too absurd even in the context of the caricatures of Japanese society that came before. Paranoia Agent's struggles with tone are the main reason why I rate it less highly than Perfect Blue or Paprika.

Nonetheless, after Kozuka's death the show segues into another stretch of episodic narratives, these dealing increasingly with suicide and escapism. It's here that the show expands on its other significant metaphorical character, the Sanrio-esque mascot Maromi, "The Healer Dog," who at first seems to act counter to Lil Slugger, but who is ultimately revealed to be "the same as him." This is literal in the sense that Tsukiko invented both Maromi and Lil Slugger, and both are inextricably tied to the same incident in her past, but it holds true metaphorically: if Lil Slugger is the victimizer who gives you an excuse to escape reality, Maromi is the inner voice calmly urging you to do so. "Stop thinking," Maromi tells Tsukiko. "It's not your fault, it's that Lil Slugger." The Good Cop to Lil Slugger's Bad Cop, not unlike Det. Maniwa and Det. Ikari in their interrogation of Kozuka -- Maniwa indulging Kozuka's video game narrative, Ikari breaking it with violence only to allow Kozuka to succumb to metaphorical suicide.

Maniwa and Ikari are their own metaphorical opposites, first explored through the comparison of Maniwa's youth versus Ikari's age (youth and age is another recurring theme in Paranoia Agent, though not one I'll talk about here), but later through their divergent attempts to fight Lil Slugger. Maniwa becomes a representation of fantasy. He fights Lil Slugger in a way that takes him literally, not metaphorically, donning a superhero persona ("Radar Man") and swinging a sword around. Hearing the cryptic line from Det. Ikari's wife that "Maromi and Lil Slugger are the same," he attempts to explain this literally, uncovering from Tsukiko's father how she invented the Lil Slugger story after she allowed her dog Maromi to die. Maniwa confronts Lil Slugger with this literal truth as though it is a coup de grace, but of course Maniwa has made the same mistake Paranoia Agent the show doesn't want its viewer to make; he has not engaged with Lil Slugger as a metaphor, and Lil Slugger defeats him instantly.

Ikari, meanwhile, becomes a representation of reality (along with his wife). He is defined in the back half of the show by the toiling, menial jobs he runs between to make ends meet. His wife is dying of disease. She fends off Lil Slugger not by fighting him literally, but by exposing the core of his metaphor; it is her line that he and Maromi are the same that ultimately causes him to retreat from her, after she has painstakingly explained as explicitly as Paranoia Agent gets that Lil Slugger represents escapism and avoidance of responsibility. Ikari briefly succumbs to fantasy (a fantasy rooted not in entertainment but in nostalgia, giving it a more "real" veneer), but ultimately destroys his fantasy world with a similar speech that makes explicit the underlying metaphor of the show.

After all, that's what metaphor is, right? It's representing one idea with another. Using fantasy as a metaphor moors it to reality and prevents the escapist impulse fantasy otherwise engenders. Maniwa only empowers Lil Slugger when he takes reality and breaks it apart into a fantastical narrative, because Lil Slugger is a being of fantasy; Lil Slugger is similarly empowered by the gossip of the masses, whose wholly fictional inventions (that he smiles before he strikes, and later that he is a massive hulking man with a freakish face) he absorbs into himself. Hence why Lil Slugger exists without any kind of literal explanation for how Tsukiko rendered him corporeal; there can't be a literal explanation, because to have one would make him no longer a living metaphor.

At the same time, Lil Slugger (and Maromi) are metaphors for something else, something far more tangible and real. This metaphor is never explicated by the show, but contained within a few key visual details.

Lil Slugger has a radiation symbol on his hat. His golden baseball bat combines the long tubular design of Little Boy atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima and the bright yellow color of the Fat Man bomb dropped on Nagasaki.

Meanwhile, Maromi's design, with the long body and fat bulbous head, evokes a mushroom. Given the mushroom cloud is shown at the beginning of every episode, the significance of this design choice isn't difficult to grasp. Lil Slugger and Maromi, who are the same, metaphorically represent the atomic bombing of Japan.

When combined with the rest of the Lil Slugger/Maromi metaphor, the suggestion is that the atomic bombing has created a widespread cultural trauma that has generated an impulse toward escapist fantasy, suicide, and avoidance of responsibility -- perhaps even the responsibility that led to Japan being bombed in the first place. Ikari espouses a nostalgic yearning for "the good old days" of Japan in the past (with a particular fondness for a brand of matches called "Rising Sun"). The nostalgic fantasy world Ikari falls into seems idyllic but has distinctively fascist touches; when he destroys Maniwa's broadcast urging him to bring Tsukiko back to reality, the townsfolk praise him: "Look, the officer stopped the poisonous broadcast!" (It's reminiscent of Ikari's police brutality against Kozuka, too.) Similar to the stereotypical exemplars of Japanese society from the early episodes, this nostalgic vision of Japan is a mask for a fascist underbelly, and the intercession of Lil Slugger/the bomb gave Japan an external victimizer that enabled the country as a whole to continue hiding its crimes from itself. Even today, Japan struggles with admitting to many of its heinous actions in World War II.

(I would also love to posit, though I have only circumstantial scraps of evidence, that the emphasis of Paranoia Agent's epilogue on the cycle starting anew, with the old man being replaced by Maniwa and the victimization of Lil Slugger being replaced by the victimization of the big flowing blob monster that swept through Tokyo's underground subways, is a metaphorical representation of Japan's next biggest societal trauma, the 1995 Aum Shinrikyo terrorist attacks, out of which -- via Evangelion -- otaku culture and escapist fantasy media exploded in popularity.)

This significantly darker undercurrent to the Lil Slugger metaphor manifests one other way in the show, one that's easy to miss given how the show takes great pains to conceal it. For a long time I had difficulty understanding the purpose of Lil Slugger's first victim, the sleazy reporter Kawazu.

Superficially, Kawazu makes sense as a victim. He is in debt after hitting an old man with his car, and desperate to score big on Tsukiko's sham story about Lil Slugger. Metaphorically, though, he's a major outlier. Unlike the dissemblers who comprise Lil Slugger's next few victims, he is openly, outwardly sleazy, with no attempts to conceal this nature. Similarly, though he is pressured by his debts, he is calm and collected immediately prior to his attack as he casually strolls after Tsukiko upon flushing her from her apartment. He smilingly describes Tsukiko to the man demanding payment from him as "a big job." Everyone else, immediately prior to being attacked, is in the midst of a mental breakdown; but Kawazu is bending down to pick up Tsukiko's dropped handkerchief, smiling calmly to himself as he does it.

Despite not fitting with the rest of the victims, Kawazu receives especial emphasis at the end of the story; he's the only character other than Tsukiko and the two detectives to appear in its epilogue, sharing a meaningful glance with Tsukiko as he passes her on the street. I couldn't understand why. What does Kawazu represent here?

Before writing this essay, I made a list of every Lil Slugger victim (cutting out the fake victims, like Tsukiko and the people Kozuka attacks) in sequence to try and detect any patterns. It was only when I wrote down the final victim of Lil Slugger that I saw the connection.

The last victim of Lil Slugger shown in Paranoia Agent is Hatomura, Tsukiko's boss, who is attacked fatally in episode 12. On his own, Hatomura is an archetypal example of a Lil Slugger victim, not even worth talking about. Pressured by deadlines that Tsukiko keeps missing, he threatens her in his car, before realizing what he has done and manically begging for forgiveness. He even states "I'm up to my ears in it too." His desperation is clear, he's having a breakdown, he wants to escape, and Lil Slugger does what he always does.

But I rewatched Hatomura's attack, and something happens right before it that happens only one other time -- right before Kawazu's attack. Tsukiko's Maromi doll flicks its eyes toward him.

Though Kawazu and Hatomura might be "cornered" in their own regard, Tsukiko is also cornered in both of their attacks. In fact, she is significantly more cornered than Kawazu is; she's running, desperately, on crutches, as he pursues her. The one quick shot of the Maromi doll shifting its eyes before the attack suggests that these attacks are done on Tsukiko's behalf, to protect her. And since Kawazu is Lil Slugger's first victim, the one that makes Lil Slugger real, the metaphor becomes complicated; is Lil Slugger a tool for self-victimization, or a weapon of victimization that can be wielded at others?

Maybe, then, that look Tsukiko and Kawazu share at the end of the show is one of forgiveness? Acceptance? Tsukiko's office lady outfit suggests she has "grown up," after all. Kawazu's smirk is the same one he gives when he picks up the Maromi handkerchief right before he is attacked. Is it that he knows the truth? Give the complexity (and vagueness) of Paranoia Agent, it might not be possible to discern an answer with confidence. Or perhaps I'm still missing something integral, still not seeing a side of the metaphor.

[urautismdiagnosis-wistie]

THE OIL RIG: Chapter 1 "Octo-Alert" 2/4

click for higher quality, please enjoy and feel free to comment. A description of the events and typed out dialogue will be beneath the cut. I recommend reading it for a fuller experience as it provides additional context and corrected dislogue. Apologies if they sound out of character 🙏

Orange cat doesn't pay attention and accidentally locks in and activates pirate mode.

Part 1 < part 2 > part 3. part 4

TITLE: THE OIL RIG

Panel 1

Shellington and Captain Barnacles discuss the mysterious appearance of Jimmy and the sudden loss of nearly an entire species of cuttlefish and the ramifications it may have. Jimmy claims that he and many other kinds of cuttlefish were all swarmed together and that no one knew where they were going or could escape. Barnacles and shellington are out of focus, as kwazii is seperate and focusing on the images on the screen instead.

Shellington, distressed in regards to his research on migrations, storms, bacteria, and other possibilities for what may have caused the cuttlefish fish to disappear. : "There's nothing specifically harmful that I could find yet!"

Shellington, continuing: "A sudden loss like this can have devastating consequences captain!"

Shellington, more somber and softly: "We need to find the cause before things worsen."

Captain Barnacles, gingerly attempting to convey the difficulty of their mission with current communication system issues: "Truthfully, any clues for what may have caused the sudden disappearance of thr cuttlefish will be..., " he clears his throat and finished quietly, "hard to find as of now."

Meanwhile Kwazii, who is very much 100% zoned out as he looks up to the screen...realizes...

"Something feels..." "So...." "Familiar...."

Then it *clicks*

Inbetween the panels Barnacles continues guiding the crew through their concerns before they develop a plan-

Barnacles's dialogue addresses different concerns of the crew in bits and pieces.

"I hadn't even pressed the octo-alert earlier due to the comms issues."

....

" Splitting up like usual would be very dangerous!"

......

"Yes Peso-"

......

"Dashi, Tweak, have you been able to figure out- "

Kwazii is described within the comic, "Thus the cat locked in for the very THE VERY FIRST TIME. Huzzah! The orange feline has received the braincell!"

This he began PIRATE MATH 🗣🗣🗣

[sttoru]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 ‘𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐒: a fictional series featuring cold-hearted assassin toji fushiguro.

𝓲. in the bustling streets of a city shrouded in shadows, fate intertwines the lives of two unlikely souls. when a young woman discovers an injured man lying in an alley, she doesn’t think twice before rescuing him. ignorant of his dangerous identity, she nurses him back to health, kindling a fragile bond between them.

𝓲𝓲. the reader is depicted as a college student, aging around her early twenties. toji is a ruthless assassin, aging around his early thirties. this au is connected to the canon one (lore wise). general warning; age gap.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈: A TWIST OF FATE

you finish your last lecture of the day and head to get dinner before returning to your dormitories. you stumble upon an injured figure on your way home, laying in a dimly lit alley. despite the fear in your heart, you decide to reach out towards the unknown man in need of help.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐈: A RISKY GAMBIT

you smuggle the wounded man into your dorm room and nurse him back to health in secret. a fragile bond forms between you and the stranger - whose name you learn is toji - as you spend your first night together.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐈𝐈: IN THE SHADOWS OF TRUST

toji and you share more about your lives over breakfast, layers of secrecy begin to peel away, revealing hidden truths and vulnerabilities. your deep conversation strengthens your bond, though when toji reveals his true identity, you begin to doubt your involvement.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐈𝐈𝐈: A NARROW ESCAPE

your own little bubble bursts when your friends unexpectedly visit your dorm, threatening to expose toji's hidden presence. you hide with the man in your small closet, making it seem like no one is home. your plan backfires as the tension between the two of you grows, possibly leading to more.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕: EMBRACING VULNERABILITY

the days pass and toji heals faster than you expect. when you realise that your time with him would come to an end sooner or later, you surprisingly feel upset. your complicated feelings - the emotions simmering beneath the surface - ignites a tender connection between the two of you. stupidly enough, you choose to act on those feelings.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈: IN SILENCE

in the morning, after an eventful and emotional night, you discover the sudden abscence in your room. confusion and hurt swirls within you as you grapple with the realisation of toji's sudden departure, leaving behind unanswered questions and a great sense of loss.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈: TRACING FOOTSTEPS

you refuse to give up on that stranger. even if it brings your life into danger, you go up and beyond to search for him around the area. armed with nothing but fragments of clues and an unwavering resolve, you navigate the shadows of the city and find yourself slowly unraveling the enigma of toji's disappearance.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈: CLASH OF FATES

your pursuit leads you to where you had wanted it to lead: toji. though, your discovery also ends up during the worst possible timing. when toji's chasing after his next target, you're caught in-between the crossfire. your two worlds collide and you're left to make a crucial decision.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐗: ECHOES OF BULLETS, PULSATING HEARTSTRINGS

in the aftermath of the confrontation, you find yourself shaken and vulnerable, grappling with the aftermath of the ordeal you've witnessed. toji's ruthless world that has shattered and changed yours forever.

© STTORU, 2024

[theseinfernalangels]

The Morning After — Dain Aetos

Synopsis: Hangovers, hookups, and a nice, Dain-shaped bedwarmer. Surely this won’t get awkward?

Includes: FINALLY some Dainya lore, suggestiveness, they were both wasted (please be careful with your alcohol!), drugs, first year chaos, crack. Takes place before Fourth Wing.

Maybe it’s the fact that you’re awake earlier than your body is used to. Maybe it’s the fact that your limbs are sore and heavy. Maybe it’s the way your head is spinning, and your throat is dry.

No. It’s actually the way you’re not alone in your bed. 

Correction: Not your bed. Your blankets are gray, and these are black. You have no fucking clue where you are.

You should be on edge. Really, you should. However, the warmth of whoever is next to you, plus a strong, grounding arm circled around your waist, keeps you from wanting to move. Warm, but not stuffy. Tight, but not restraining. It feels like everything you’ve ever wanted, but from who?

You’re not exactly at the best angle to look up — your head is tucked under their chin, more or less approaching the crook of their neck — so you close your eyes again and think back to last night, trying to track every single blurry moment in your memory.

You were in someone else’s room yesterday, with your squad and some other section-mates who you hardly interact with outside of training. It must’ve been Quinn’s, then, since she’s the most likely to want to have people over at night. What else was there?

Lots of laughter. A game or two of poker. Probably some churam. Cherry wine…and a lot of it.

You were sitting next to…someone, who kept to their own space and didn’t even try to touch you until you were out in the hallway, a light hand at your back to guide you through the halls until you were pressed against a door. Patient hands, stilling gently against your ribs until you gave a whispered okay, slightly chapped lips stained to hell with wine finding yours instantly.

It all blurs completely from there, besides their eyes. Warm brown that glints like polished bronze in the mage lights.

Wait. No.

You go still, fighting the urge to jerk upwards.

Holy gods.

I think I just fucked Dain Aetos.

A dry rumble catches your attention. “Good morning to you, too,” Fíoch yawns. “Sounds like you had an eventful evening.”

Without any precedent or warning, you feel him take a nosedive right into your memories, which you can barely see for yourself. For a moment, he’s quiet, but then your head is filled with cackling laughter.

“Oh, yes,” he purrs. You can almost imagine him wiping an imaginary tear from his eyes with his tail. “Eventful indeed.”

“Shut up!” Your face grows hot. “What the hell do I do? I can’t just leave.”

“You’re asking a dragon how to escape the morning after?” Fíoch snorts. “Anam, I truly love you, but I’m afraid you’re not getting out of this one.”

Against your better judgement, you let out a quiet groan of exasperation and then immediately regret it when you catch the noise of a sharp inhale  from above. 

“Fuck.”

Heat floods down your back. Well, there goes your plans of a quiet escape.

The arm around you tenses and then goes still, as if he’s only finally realizing exactly what he’s holding on to.

Dain slowly retracts his arm and leans back, enough that he can see your face but keep close, and makes a faint choking noise. Embarrassment, maybe?

You beat him to the punch. “This…is kind of awkward.”

Dain, in classic Aetos manner, clears his throat and schools his face into something more neutral — but there’s no hiding the pink that rises to his pretty cheekbones.

“Holt,” he manages, keeping his gaze trained firmly on the wall behind you. “Did we…?”

You look down at yourself, clad only in your underwear and a baggy shirt — his shirt. It’s soft, probably cotton and some fabric softener that makes it feel more like a blanket than a shirt against the tops of your thighs. You want to make a face, but you can’t; it’s warm, soft, and it smells good. No one in their right mind would complain about that.

“Yeah,” you reply quietly. “I think so.”

Dain’s face contorts into something familiar: strict, controlled, level. The sight should reassure you, seeing as it’s the only thing you really know in Dain’s regard, but it doesn’t. Instead, an uncomfortable prickle ripples up the back of your neck as he opens his mouth to speak.

“Don’t.”

He halts and closes his mouth. You just meet his eyes and shake your head, suppressing the urge to flinch at the stinging feeling.

“Don’t do that.”

He blinks, the usual restraint in his eyes becoming…hesitant. “Do what?”

“That,” you emphasize. “You know, the thing you do whenever you lose control over a situation and don’t know what to do. You start pretending. I don’t like it. It won’t make the situation any less embarrassing for either of us.”

He doesn’t reply. Doesn’t have to, really. He just looks away for a moment before his features go slack, back to a man half-caught in sleep rather than someone alert and on the prowl.

You like him better like this. Less uptight.

“Well,” he says after a moment. “At least you’re honest.”

Your lips curl into a wry smile. “I always am.”

The silence becomes predictably loud. After all, what are you supposed to say after sleeping with someone you barely like? With someone you barely know? 

“…I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “For this, I mean. If it makes you uncomfortable at all, I get it.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine. We were both wasted, and probably a little high.”

He raises an eyebrow, a small smirk quirking at the edge of his mouth. “A little? I think we hotboxed Quinn’s room. She’ll need to keep her windows open all day, everyday to get the remnants out.”

A part of you still can’t believe Dain was even there. Of course, he’s a First-Year, too, so he’s allowed to be just as reckless — and, given the way you’ve seen his father speak to him, he probably needs it. But Dain Aetos? Getting drunk and high and then sleeping with a girl who he ignores most of the time? The you from August would hardly believe it.

He shifts a little and sits up slowly, half-dragging you with him with a hand at your back. He glances back down at what you suppose is your messy form, probably not much unlike how you normally look. It usually makes him roll his eyes, the way you can be so unkempt sometimes in comparison to his pristine condition. 

Now, though, he just watches.

Your eyes narrow. “What?”

He blinks, as if coming out of a trance. 

“Sorry,” he stammers — so unlike the Dain you’re used to. “It’s just— I’ve never seen you with your hair down.”

At the mention, you reach up and drag your fingers through the messy strands, definitely tangled from last night’s endeavors. You should’ve cut it before Parapet, really, but you can’t bring yourself to let a pair of scissors touch it. If Basgiath could get away in stealing your humanity from you, you could at least keep the hair.

“Is that a bad thing?” you ask, glancing around for the usual scraps of leather you use to tie it back. One sits on Dain’s bedside table, but the other is nowhere in sight. You’ll have to make due.

“No,” Dain says, blush painting his cheeks red. “It looks…nice.”

You snort and tie your hair back and finally look back at him, his eyes still averted and trained down on his fidgeting hands. This side of him is better, you decide. Awkward. Honest. Less uptight and more human — which, to be fair, is dangerous in a place like this, but no less better for your spirit.

More silence. More staring on your part. When did you lose your usual gift of chatter so easily?

“Say something,” Fíoch prods. “It doesn’t have to sound intelligent. Just rid yourselves of the unease and you’ll be out shortly.”

Fucking dragons and their fucking smart advice.

“Here,” you sigh. “Are we okay, Aetos? Still have a truce from mutual dislikement?”

He turns back towards you, eyebrows furrowing with a flash of something in his eyes. “I’ve never disliked you. But, sure.”

No stinging at the back of your neck. It’s the truth. 

Well. Now it’s your turn to become red in the face. You’ve probably hurt his feelings.

Fíoch doesn’t help. “Smooth.”

 “Uh…” You smooth a hand over your face. “I didn’t mean it like—“

“You want me to walk you back to your room?” he interrupts. “It’d be bad form to make you go alone so early.”

You can’t decide whether you want to scold yourself or to lean down and scream into your hands. First, you wake up in his bed. Second, you basically insult him, and now he wants to walk you back? Good grief. Once you’re alone, you’ll definitely need to slam your face into a window.

But it’s kind of him, at least, that he doesn’t want you to look like an absolute loser sneaking around in the dark. Even though your room is nearby, a walk of shame is still a walk of shame, and in your case…yeah. Shame doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“That’d be nice,” you concede. “Thanks, Aetos.”

You manage to haul yourself out of his bed (He must be good — when the hell did your legs get so sore?) and track down your discarded clothes that lay messily on the floor. Dain, for his part, turns away (thank every god) as you pull your pants up your legs, and before you can make a snide remark about privacy, you catch a glimpse of him that makes your breath hitch.

With Dain turned away, you get the most perfect view of his back profile, and, fuck if you’re not praising Amari Herself for taking Her time on him. He’s lean, sure, but he’s still broad, and beyond the pale scars that stand out against the tanned skin of his back, you can see his muscles ripple as he reaches for a clean shirt from his drawer.

Right. Clothes on.

You grab his shirt, warm from your own heat, and begin to fold it neatly. “You didn’t have to look away, you know. You’ve already seen me naked.”

From his side, you hear an exasperated sigh. You snicker at his answer. “It’s called being respectful, Holt. I know you’d do the same for me.”

You suppress the urge to tease him further and continue folding. “Fair. It’d be the right thing to do.”

Dain peeks over his shoulder and fully faces you once he sees you wiping your hands on your pants. You’re still probably disheveled, but at least you have actual clothes on. 

“I won’t say anything about this,” he tells you. “I know you probably wouldn’t want people to know we slept together.”

“That’s fine,” you reassure him. “I don’t think anyone would care much, but it would save me from teasing.”

He flicks his wrist and unlocks his door. “Teasing?”

“You know.” You drift closer to him and mentally chide yourself (Seriously. Why does he smell so good?). “I don’t want people to think I’m trying to fuck my way into some social standing.”

He pauses, a shadow of unease passing over his face — probably from your crudeness. “Because of my father?”

At least he’s not dumb. “Yeah. Sorry to phrase it like that, but it’s the truth.”

You can’t help the little shiver that passes through you at his response as he ushers you through the door. “It always is when it’s you, huh?”

If only Dain knew the irony. Like his, your signet’s been classified, but only for its strange sensitivity. Maybe if you were mediocre, he wouldn’t even make comments like that.

“I try.” You brush it off with a shrug. “I’m not a fan of liars.”

“That makes two of us.” He falls into step next to you, and it takes every ounce of your restraint to keep from calling him out right in the open hallway. No one else is awake, save for a few Third-Years coming off duty, but if you pointed out his need for pretending in front of everyone, that comment from earlier about not disliking you would soon be replaced by a few sharp glares.

You could take it from anyone else. Not Dain, though. 

You come to a halt in front of your door, not too far from his own, and lean against the wooden frame. 

“Thank you,” you tell him earnestly. “Seriously. I know this probably feels embarrassing for you.”

His brows just furrow. “Not really. Let’s just forget about it, yeah? I won’t tell, and you won’t tell.”

A half-hearted smile curves your lips as you try and disguise a wince. “Deal. See you, Aetos.”

He returns your smile and turns to walk briskly back to his room. You stride into your own room and close the door softly before leaning back against it and sliding to the floor slowly, as if the gravity of the situation was getting to you, too.

“Not really.”

Heat flares at the back of your neck. You’re not sure which is worse in your book: The fact that he’s embarrassed by what happened last night, the fact that he lied, or the fact that you’re slightly upset about it.

You know he’s never really liked you, no matter how much he claims to not dislike you. It must be a part of him, you think. He’s so uptight sometimes, and you’re so…loose, like a summer wind with no direction or command to it. You’re so different from one another, he couldn’t possibly ever actually like you, and you don’t care if he does.

The sting at your neck becomes hotter. Shit. Even lying to yourself has become impossible. Fíoch would tell you to be proud of yourself. Your mothers would scold you for even considering that as an option.

With an unceremonious groan, you tilt your head back until it hits the wood of the door with a quiet thud. 

Why can’t he just stop being…him? Why can’t Dain Aetos just fuck right off and be like every other guy here, faceless and nameless and unimportant to you in every sense but a few? He hasn’t done much in the realm of helping you, so he really shouldn’t stick out to you…yet he does.

Tides of embarrassment flood you. This isn’t like you. You don’t get side-railed just because you woke up in bed with a guy.

But he’s not just a guy. He’s Dain. And, unfortunately for you, you like Dain, no matter how much you don’t really want to. No other guy here would go through the trouble of making you comfortable and then walking you back to save you the shame, and you can’t tell if that’s awesome or terrible.

“Not that it matters,” Fíoch butts in, “but I, personally, am glad he did that. Now your inner conflict won’t be so loud and obvious whenever he comes into your line of sight.”

Your head falls forward, into your knees. “That doesn’t help me.”

The dragon chuckles. “I’m not trying to help. I’m trying to keep your head in line for whenever that male happens to be around you.”

“You’re the worst.”

“Naturally, Anam. Naturally.”

‧₊˚♪ 𝄞࿐₊˚⊹

You know every truth, every answer, every secret that floats through the halls carried by whispering winds, but nothing exists to tell you how Dain sprawls on his bed with his face buried in a pillow.

You. He got drunk and ended up sleeping with you, of all people.

On one hand, he should be thankful. You’re one of the only people in his proximity that doesn’t flat-out avoid him like the plague. You’re easy to be around, funny, and honest. Maybe to a fault, but you’re honest all the same.

But you’re so dangerous. You weren’t raised to be a soldier. He can hardly be in the same room with you without unconsciously keeping an eye out for you, lest you fall into danger accidentally. Gods, he can’t even keep his mind straight around you; your scent clings to his sheets — jasmine, amber, and sex — and it takes everything in him not to groan out loud, to roll over and fist the sheets and—

Fuck. He shouldn’t. You don’t even like him. You said it yourself. Mutual dislikement. That’s not even a word, yet he’s clinging to it like a desperate, starving creature. You don’t like him, and he shouldn’t like you, but the reality of it all, plus memories of last night, has him tempted to come crawling back for more.

He won’t, of course. You’re too good for that — for him. Too good for drunken hookups and guys like him who blush every time your eyes meet.

Yet you both still did it. Yet you woke up, didn’t try to run, called him out on his bullshit, folded his fucking shirt, and let him walk you back to your room.

Dain cracks one eye open and turns to look back at his bedside table. Your forgotten hair tie lies right on top of his beaten, dog-eared copy of the Codex like a bruise on pale skin. It doesn’t belong in here with him, but that didn’t stop him from taking it.

Why? To remember? To try and see if you’ll come back to look for it, just for another excuse to see you with your hair down?

Gods, he’s a mess. But at least you don’t know the truth about him. You already have seen him at one of his most vulnerable places, even if the memories are blurred, but if you were to see him like this…

Well. His dignity would be doomed, to say the least.

Taglist: @wonderstruckbyyou, @jessicalee22likestowrite, @freezerbride18, @ineednewdaggers, @suspicious-stain-in-spain, @kienhawon, @goldenmagnolias, @bi-incog-btch, @gracie-rosee, @lxnvmvrzx

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[djarinova]

[05:49 pm] — din djarin

content - established relationship, comfort, sleepy din, grogu's bathtime is full of bubbles - wc; 869

✎ requested by my beloved @kurooscopy for my birthday event! i hope you all enjoy this little blurb, this was truly truly so fun to write..im love him forever

Your laughter is the first thing Din hears when he wakes up, his eyes still closed and the cloud of sleep still settled over him, followed by the sweet sound of your voice, “c’mon, sweetie, you gotta work with me here!”

Din puzzles for a moment, his brain not fully awake yet, confused as to why you and the child seem to be up and lively while he feels groggy and is still half asleep in bed. But then it hits him, of course. You'd practically pushed him towards your shared room when he had come back from his most recent bounty—it had been a relatively short one, he was only gone for 48 hours, but it was clear from his movements that he hadn't slept at all since you'd last seen him. And that just didn't sit well with you.

You'd helped strip him of his armour, always gently and always delicately, before doing a quick check of his face and body, ensuring he wouldn't be going to bed with any major injuries unattended to. You'd spoken quietly as you tended to him, whispering I love yous and filling the silence with silly stories of what you and Grogu had been up to since his departure, before guiding him to bed and placing your blanket over his tired body.

It all comes back to Din as he moves to the edge of the bed. He rolls his neck around in a circle before stretching his arms above his head, which allows a little slither of his stomach to peep out from below his shirt, something your eyes would have been glued to if you'd been in the room with him. A low groan escapes Din’s lips as he stands, but he pays the dull aches across his body no mind. In fact, he finds his mind completely devoid of almost everything. But the one thing left in his head, the one thought he clings to, the one thing so clear in his sleep laden mind that everything else is a blur—follow the sound of the laughter.

And so he does.

He lets your laughter guide him. His feet move practically involuntarily as he weaves around the corners of the crest. The shuffle of feet moving is the only other sound in the empty hall, there's no tick of the clock, no familiar clanking or beeping that comes hand in hand with the crest in flight. And then suddenly the shuffling stops. His feet come to a halt outside of the bathroom door and a subtle look of recognition graces the Mandalorian’s sleepy features.

The door is ajar, the sound of you is as clear as crystal, as he pushes the door wide. Din’s heart races ever so slightly as he hears your voice, honey-like in its sweetness, he's still not used to how beautiful you sound unfiltered by his helmet—he hopes he never gets used to it.

You don't notice Din’s arrival at first, too focused on stopping the onslaught of bubbles that threaten to moisten your dry clothes, although the bright, beaming smile on Grogu’s face should be a familiar clue.

“You're a menace little one, you know that?” You smile through your words.

A sharp pain shoots up your knee and you wince as you stand up. Too long spent kneeling by the bathtub, if only Din were here, you think to yourself, he could help with—

A strong pair of arms loop around your waist, breaking you out of your thoughts. Din’s hands come to rest on your stomach and you smile as you feel him press a kiss to your head.

“You're here,” you whisper, disbelief clear in your voice. You were planning on waking him after Grogu's bath.

He hums, lifting his left hand slightly to wave to Grogu—the beaming smile hasn't left his face since he caught sight of Din in the doorway.

“How long was I…”

“About 6 hours,” you answer before he can even finish his sentence.

He hums again, satisfied.

“Would you like me to—”

“Yes! Please.” You answer, once again predicting the question Din was going to ask.

Din chuckles at your fast response as he unwraps his arms from around your body.

Assuming he's going to crouch down and begin rinsing Grogu’s bubbles, you begin to step backwards out of the way, but Din surprises you yet again. He turns to face you, placing a gentle hand to your cheek. The eye contact causes your face to heat up.

Your eyes flutter closed as Din’s lips come to rest against yours, the kiss is soft, gentle, but there's an undercurrent that tells you just how much he's missed you, and it makes your head spin. Even as he pulls away and turns towards the bath you find your cheeks are still hot. You're thankful that his attention is elsewhere for the moment, giving you an opportunity to calm down your racing mind and heart.

Din’s groans cut though your thoughts and you can't stop the laughter that escapes your lips when you realise how much water has been splashed onto his clothes.

“Let me help,” you smile and you grab a towel from the pile besides you

divider by @/saradika-graphics

[coriihanniee]

Guess WHO! - boynextdoor smau

𓂃۶ৎ SYNOPSIS : When multiple leaked photos ignite a wildfire of speculation, the world is certain—BOYNEXTDOOR'S Y/N is secretly dating one of the members. But who? No one knows, and you refuse to clear the air. Instead, you turn the chaos into a game, scattering cryptic clues and half-truths while every member plays along, deepening the mystery. Every glance, every post, every moment is a riddle waiting to be solved. Is the answer hidden in plain sight, or are you leading everyone in circles? How far can a secret stretch before it unravels? And when it does—will anyone be ready for the truth?

BONUS CHAPTER 3 : our youth is free

The fansign venue buzzes with an electric energy, the air thick with excitement as fans eagerly await their turn. The line snakes through the room, each person holding something—a poster, a shiny album, a hand-written note, all for BOYNEXTDOOR. But for you, today carries an unfamiliar weight. The familiar sounds of the venue and the soft rustle of pages only make you feel more acutely the eyes on you. It’s your first real interaction with fans in public ever since everything came to light, and the fear of being scrutinized feels overwhelming.

"I’ve done this before," you tell yourself, "It’s just another event, another performance."

But your heart refuses to slow its frantic beat.

The line inches closer, and you find yourself glancing at Taesan, who stands beside you like an anchor in the storm. He’s quiet, almost too calm for someone who has just as much attention on him as the others. His eyes, however, tell a different story—those soft brown eyes that have always had a way of seeing through your defenses. When they meet your gaze, there’s a flicker of understanding in them, like he knows exactly how you feel.

He leans just close enough for only you to hear. "Hey," he says, his voice low and soothing, "You’re doing great."

You don’t know why, but those words—a simple reassurance—are enough to slow the frantic fluttering in your chest. You offer him a weak smile, but inside, your heart is still racing.

“Thanks,” you manages, your voice barely above a whisper.

Taesan chuckles softly, the sound as comforting as a soft blanket on a cold night. "Don’t think I didn’t see that," he teases, his smile growing. "But if anyone’s going to freak out, it’s gonna be me, not you."

A breath of laughter escapes your lips despite yourself. “You?” You raise an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you were the type to get nervous.”

He shrugs, the corner of his lips curling up. "I’ve got my moments."

The playful banter between you feels like a lifeline, something you cling to as the moments stretch on. Each fan that steps up to meet you feels like a countdown, a test of your nerves. But with Taesan’s quiet presence by your side, it becomes a little easier to breathe. It feels almost like a shared moment, something private amidst the chaos of your lives.

As the last fan in line approaches, you exhale, thankful for the end of the event. The young woman before you smiles brightly, holding up a signed poster for you to see. “YN,” she says, her voice almost shy, “I just wanted to say that you and Taesan... you two really seem happy. It’s like you both belong together.”

The words hang in the air longer than expected, and you freeze for a fraction of a second, your pulse quickening. Taesan, just next to you, looks at you for the briefest moment before responding for you both. His voice, casual yet full of a depth you could hear without words, responds smoothly.

“You could say that,” Taesan says with a soft smile. “We’re lucky to have each other."

Your chest tightens at the way his words feel like a secret, something shared only between the two of you. Your eyes flicker to him, and for a moment, the whole room blurs. It’s just him, his steady presence, his warmth enveloping you. The world feels quieter with him here, as though it’s been waiting for this—this very moment when you’d realize how much he means to you.

The fan moves on, and Taesan meets your gaze again, his eyes soft but knowing. He leans closer, his hand brushing against yours with a light touch, but the spark of it sends something electric through you.

“You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?” Taesan asks, his voice softer now, the noise of the venue fading into the background.

You swallow, nodding slowly. “Just... how much they expect from us. I don’t want to disappoint them.”

He looks at you, really looks at you, like you're the only person in the room. The usual playfulness in his expression softens, and in its place is something far deeper, far more sincere.

“You could never disappoint them,” he says quietly, his hand finding yours, fingers gently intertwining. “You’re enough. You’ve always been enough.”

A shiver runs through you at the sincerity of his words. You look down at your joined hands, the weight of it almost too much to bear—how easily he makes you feel safe, how effortlessly he can break through the walls you've built around yourself. The vulnerability is terrifying, but it’s also comforting, like the promise of something steady, something you can count on.

The event winds down, and the final fan leaves. The place is still buzzing with the residue of excitement, but your heart is quieter now. With Taesan beside you, the world outside feels like a distant echo. The two of you step away from the table, the chaos behind them. For the first time that night, you feel like you can breathe.

Taesan takes a slow breath, pulling you aside to a quieter corner, away from the crowd. The night air is crisp, and there’s a gentle hum of the city around them, but everything feels muted, softened by the weight of the moment.

He turns to face you, his eyes searching yours as though asking a question without words. And for a moment, you can’t look away, not because of the pressure or the anticipation of what’s to come, but because in that instant, everything between you is clear.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you...” His voice is low, almost hesitant, but there’s something in the way he holds your gaze that makes your heart race.

Your breath catches in your throat, your mind scrambling for words. "What?"

He takes a step closer, his voice a tender whisper in the stillness. “You’re everything to me.” His words are simple, but the emotion behind them is overwhelming. They hang in the air, thick with meaning, like the silence before a storm.

For a long moment, you don’t know how to respond. Your heart feels like it’s about to burst, like it could fill the entire world. You close the gap between you and him, your hand reaching up to gently touch his cheek. His skin is warm beneath your fingers, and you feel a surge of something powerful—the need to say something, to admit what’s been building between you for so long.

“I think... I think I’ve always known,” you whisper, your voice trembling with the weight of your own feelings.

His eyes soften, and he tilts his head slightly, as though trying to memorize the moment. “We’re just getting started,” he murmurs, the corners of his mouth curving into that signature, soft smile.

And for the first time in your life, you realize that some moments don’t need words. You can feel everything in the way his thumb brushes over your hand, in the way his eyes never leave yours. He doesn’t need to say anything more. You know.

In this quiet, perfect moment, nothing else matters.

The moment between you and Taesan is soft, quiet, and entirely your own. You’ve finally stepped out of the shadows, the weight of secrecy lifted. As you gaze up at him, your heart still races in a way that feels fresh, new, even though the world now knows what you've known for a while. That you're with him. That you're his.

Taesan’s gaze softens, his hand gently cupping your face as he leans in closer, brushing his lips against your forehead. “You okay?” he murmurs, voice thick with emotion.

You nod, the warmth of his presence settling the last of your nerves. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just... feels unreal.”

“You’re more than okay, YN,” he whispers, his lips grazing your hair as he smiles. “You’re perfect. And this? This is real. All of it.”

Your heart flutters at his words, and you lean into him, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat. Just as you close your eyes, the sound of muffled voices breaks the silence, followed by a burst of laughter.

Suddenly, the rest of BOYNEXTDOOR emerges from behind a cluster of trees, their playful expressions impossible to miss. Sungho, his usual mischievous grin in place, raises an eyebrow and glances between them. “Well, look at this. The cat’s out of the bag, huh?”

Leehan gives a small, knowing smile, crossing his arms and leaning against a nearby lamppost. “We’ve known for months, but still—seeing it in person? It's entertaining to say the least."

Woonhak, not even attempting to hide his grin, steps forward with a teasing look. “I hate to admit it, but you two are adorable.”

You laugh softly, feeling the sudden flood of warmth from the boys, all of them genuinely happy for you. For them.

“Well, the whole world does know now,” Jaehyun says with a smirk, his arms folded loosely. There’s a softness in his eyes, though, something like understanding and approval. “So no need to keep hiding in quiet corners anymore.”

Riwoo, who has been quietly observing from the back, steps forward with a small smile. His calm presence always feels like a quiet anchor in the storm, and now, more than ever, it feels comforting. “We’re happy for you,” he says, his voice steady, yet full of sincerity. “You’ve got all of us.”

You feel a flush of warmth rush to your cheeks. They’ve been by your side from the start, even when you tried to keep everything a secret. It’s not just Taesan who’s always supported you—this family, this group of incredible people, have been with you every step of the way.

Taesan chuckles softly, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah, well, the hiding part never worked anyway. Can’t say I’m sad about it.”

You glance up at him, your heart filled with a quiet, peaceful happiness. “Neither am I,” you admit. You turn to the group, smiling at all of them. “Thank you. For everything.”

“Anything for you, YN,” Woonhak says, winking. “But seriously, when’s the next date night? I’m tagging along."

You laugh, the sound light and carefree. “I think we can all agree that this night belongs to me and Taesan, don’t you think?”

“Fine, fine,” Sungho grins, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “We’ll leave you two alone... for now.”

The playful banter continues, and you find yourself completely at ease. It’s not just about Taesan anymore. It’s about all of them—the boys who’ve watched over you, supported you, and even if they’ve teased you, have always had your back. There’s no more need for secrecy, no more fear of judgment.

As the conversation fades into laughter and casual chatter, Taesan turns to you, pulling you close, his arms encircling your waist. You rest your head against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

“This is it, isn’t it?” you murmur softly, looking up at him. “This is what we’ve been waiting for.”

He smiles, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “Yeah, and now we get to enjoy it. Together.”

And in that moment, as you all stand together, bathed in the soft glow of the streetlights, something in the air shifts. It's a quiet realization that settles within you, like a deep breath after holding it in for far too long. The warmth of Taesan’s embrace, the familiar banter of the boys, and the gentle rhythm of the night create a sense of peace that you never knew you needed so much.

In the midst of it all—the excitement, the chaos, the uncertainty—there’s an undeniable truth. This is only the beginning. The end of all the secrets, all the silences. No more hiding in the shadows or pretending for the sake of others. From now on, it’s about what’s real. What’s true. What’s theirs.

There’s a lightness in your chest, an unspoken promise between you and Taesan, and the rest of BOYNEXTDOOR. The world might have its opinions, the fans might have their theories, but none of that matters. Because this moment—this group, this love—is everything that’s right. The truth is out, and it’s nothing like you expected, but in the best way.

No more secrets. No more pretending. Just love. Just them.

With every step forward, there’s a sense of freedom, like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. Laughter spills out of the boys behind you, playful teasing and casual jokes filling the space around them, but for you, it’s like they’re in their own little world. A world where the future is bright, and it’s filled with endless possibilities.

As the night stretches on, and the group continues to enjoy the moment—like a dream you’re living in real time—you let the reality of it all settle into your heart. There is nothing else you could ask for. With Taesan, with the boys, and with the love and support surrounding you, you're finally free.

previous masterlist

@coriihanniee 💌

🕊 - I can't believe it's officially over 🥹 thank you for staying with me till the end! PLEASEEE DON'T LEAVE YET bcs I have a gongfourz fic and enhypen smau coming up real soon so do stay tuned to that if you're a fan of both groups! I'm also opening perm taglist so do cmt if you'd like to be in it!

taglist : @lvlyhiyyih @supi-wupi @tinyelfperson @heeheesang @molensworld @wondoras @taesanfav @bbyinni @minfolio @mbella607 @cinnamonshuaa @defnotsanni @amarecerasus @enaile23 @nujeskz @janjoonty @imhereonlytoreadxoxo @pumpkg @cosmicwintr @mimimimiaa @hanniehq @s0shroe @slowlylefttyphoon @s1lkrabbit @missychief1404 @fae-renjun

[hyhkai]

k.taehyun — dangerous woman!

[ 📚 ] after accidentally eavesdropping taehyun talking with his friends, you've got a question unanswered, a question which is straight up hilarious because it shouldn't be asked in the first place.

content : plot sprinkles, dom!reader sub!tyun, taehyun goes around calling the reader his wife/girlfriend, 'taehyun likes smart girls' agenda, public (in the empty auditorium), blowjob, degradation (m. rec.), making tyun swallow his own cum hah

a/n ; NEEDS TO BE EDITED! idk why I named it dangerous woman for angie and smiles txt birthday event + technically written off of my this thought but it doesn't appear in the limelight as brightly. though i still abide by it and always will. i have no clue how auditoriums look in your guys' vision but 🙏

"what're you even trying to do? makeout with me?" he asked as you pulled him aside from the piled hallway and led him to the top floor.

"trust me," you looked back at him, agony filled eyes. "kissing you is the last mistake I want to make, and I make a lot of mistakes."

he chuckled, god, he chuckled. he has some guts. "if you've started to make mistakes, then I'm a failure, noona."

he's always been like this. you wondered if he had some borderline obsession with you. which, now that you've found out the shit he's been going around blabbering — he definitely is obsessed with you.

almost throwing the two of you into the auditorium when you spotted a council member; you shut the door behind yourself as you stared at him, pulling his backpack onto his shoulder. "I'm actually starting to think you want to kiss me. it could've been in the cafeteria, no? why hide like we're middle schoolers?"

you shook your head no. "i already told you, I'd never kiss a dumb dog like you."

"then what are we here for?"

"why are you telling your friends I'm your girlfriend?"

silence. for about a minute. or two.

"i didn't." he said, turning back and walking to one of the chairs, sitting on the one at the corner. he's seriously planning to pretend, that he didn't go around saying you both fuck everyday.

"I don't like liars." you mumbled, walking behind him and letting yourself fall onto the chair right beside him, knees buckling. "what kind of a lie is this? we both are stuck in a loop of arguments and flirting. what makes you want to go around saying I'm your girlfriend?"

"I felt like it." he said dryly, eyes cast down at his fingers as they fidgeted.

"felt like it? you—" you closed your eyes in annoyance, nostrils flaring as your neck turned to look at him. "you felt like telling everyone that I'm your girlfriend? me of all people?" you hissed, he's such a bitch. fucking asshole.

it takes the average human being to start dating after 1-3 months of knowing each other, but it took taehyun one month to walk you down the aisle in his puerile dreams.

"well, why not you?" he asked, looking down at your fingers that were sprinkled with ink. you'd never dated any of the guys around here — because they're such bitches. what about the one in front of you? very evident.

"because I'm never going to really date you!" you almost yelled, lowering your noise when you heard your voice hit the walls of the empty auditorium.

"okay whatever, what're you gonna do about it?" he huffed out, his arms escaping the straps of his backpack.

motherfucker.

you looked away, this boy was making you so demented. you wished you were corrosive and could just touch him and destroy his entire existence in the moment.

and that's when it hit you. your touch... could destroy him. hell, it could probably make him dumb, to say the very least. you looked back to see taehyun, sitting there, staring at you with big big eyes, looking like he's going to swallow you whole.

"what?" you tore the silence apart, taehyun fluttering his eyelashes as he eyed you. the boy is still checking you out. "have some goddamn decency."

"I can't." he said, leaning in, leaning in close so close you wanted to flick his forehead and slap him across the face. he's always been like this for you since the day you put him in his place. he's been like a damn dog, like he wanted to be walked around by you since that day.

"then learn how to!"

"teach me, noona."

and so you did. so you did. and he's going to learn. he's going to learn to never annoy you again.

"noona—"

his eyes widened when your hand went straight for his crotch. fuck. you placed your hand on his cock, in the corner of the auditorium, after school hours.

"shut up. this is what you wanted, didn't you? you're filthy." and he, an exuberant kitten had turned into a lethargic dog. a dumb dog. "you're welcome for this. you're welcome."

"you— you-. what are you even thinking?" he asked, eyes wide as he leaned back, growing motionless. well, one thing was definitely in motion.

"shut the fuck up." you rubbed the tent in his pants as it eventually grew — still no consent of his, but his expression and activities history doesn't seem to be convincing you that he'll say no. you grabbed his face, making him look at you after his eyes had set down onto your hand on his dick. "tell me, taehyun. do you think from your dick or something?"

"y-you can't ask a question like— that.. h-hah." he groaned, a pretend exasperated tone when he was clearly enjoying this. he looked... desperate. it was scaring and making you want to fuck him at the same time. "please, noona."

"please what? use your words, bitch." you said, finger twirling the zipper of jeans, or more like a synonym for a cock cage.

"what're you gonna do?" he asked, eyes shooting around the hall as his knees buckled up, trying to squirm your hand away. this felt so emasculating to him — that you just basically palmed his dick from above the denim.

you were everything he wasn't — smart, perfect and untainted. but you were everything he wanted.

"maybe suck your dick," you said and the statement was definitely sent as an electric signal to his dick and his brain. "give you a reason to go around saying absolute bullshit, hm?" and he closed his eyes shut. his head fell back on the back rest as you unzipped his jeans, letting out a sadistic chuckle. "aw, is the delusion wearing off?" placing a hand under his chin and tilting his head to your side. oh lord, he was blushing. his ears were heating up and his cheeks went pink. "n-not bullshit.. not—"

"shut up." you attempted at a slap but only smacked his jaw, making his head turn away. lightly squeezed to his dick through the Calvin Klein and he whimpered. rubbing the tip with your nails.

if someone asked you if your panties were dry you'd have to deny it. his condition only got more tortured and jittery, you were chuckling like watching a stand-up comedy. you got up from the seat, kneeling in front of him. "h-hah, noona. shit— pl-please."

a malevolent expression, you took his dick out, cockhead lathered in precum — manwhore !

"you like this?" you asked, placing your hand in front of his mouth. "spit, whore." and he did, so fast like he was already preparing to, preparing to be sucked and jerked off.

"mmm, noona, i— h-hah." taehyun scrunched his knees together when your hand twisted at the tip, going down on his dick and his eyes shot open. "i l-love- this."

"of course you do, slut." you mumbled, licking the underpart of his tip, looking up at him as his hands reached to the back of your head to push you down on it unprovoked. he has the audacity to try to fuck your mouth. but no, you slapped his hand away. "behind your back."

he arched his back in sole pleasure, hands behind him now, he let out short, rapid pants. you opened your mouth wide, making him assume you'll finally take his dick, only to start pumping his dick rapidly.

"shit— shit, shit. noona no—"

"take it." you cut him off, using both hands, twisting. your lips set on the edge of his tip, rubbing against it. his brain was vacuous; and it got worse when you held the base of his dick and swallowed him whole.

"oh fuck, oh fuck fuck fuck." he whispered as you glide your hand up his hoodie, staying at his abs making him suck his stomach in. shook your head, the friction too much for him to bear. "noona, noona please."

pulling away, strings of saliva connecting you to his dick as his head flung back, closing his eyes shut when your nails slid up and down.

"keep it down, my god. the president might just hear you, would you want to be seen getting your cock sucked by me?"

his nails of each hand were digging into each other, his jaw clenching. "it— it'll make for a good s-sight."

"'m so close, pleasepleaseplease." he groaned as you completely stopped even the slightest of fuckery he was receiving from his imaginative slut. "no!"

you giggled at the sight — brain-dead taehyun, with his hands behind his back that were desperate to come forward and get him to cum, his embarrassing, dumbfounded state. a slap to his dick and he thrust into the air.

he could fuck any object that moves right now.

"you just love having your cock shoved down throats, don't you?"

hollowing your cheeks around him, the pleasure too much for him to bear. his hands escaped from behind and almost reached for your head but stopped mid-way, balling into a fist as his brain began jarring.

"noona please please please I'm gonna—" and before he could even warn you, prevent your annoyance and the malice you might have, he spilled into your mouth. and to his surprise, you kept his tip in your mouth, tasting him.

"noona?"

a pretend swallow that made his brain cloudy, did you just swallow his cum?

you got up, his eyes tracking up as you leaned down and pulled him by the collar of his hoodie, clashing your lips onto his and his mind skipped a function or two. you seeped his cum into his mouth, wiping your hands on his chest and he did not give the reaction you expected, the reaction you wanted him to give you — instead, to your surprise, he kissed back, his hand slipping up to catch yours. he didn't expect this at all but the whore didn't give a fuck. you pulled away, displeased that he wasn't mad you just made him eat his own cum.

"you ain't my boyfriend." you hissed, picking your backpack up.

and he was all gone to hell, no place for him in heaven, staring at the high ceiling, panting, beatific.

are they dating? no. do they both have mutual thoughts of fucking? absolutely.

I wrote this in like one hour forgive me

[caitlinclarksbiceps]

Message In A Bottle

𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 : IOWA! Caitlin x Reader

𝗪𝗖 : 4.4k

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 : The whole story is goin' so fast 😭 This is not read proof so I apologize if I made any mistakes.

a/n : This is first kiss w caitlin but I forgot to put the "first kiss" in the story but I hope yall like it! (!This is someone's idea from my inbox!)

There you are again, plopped down in your usual spot next to your desk mate, Caitlin. Your heart is racing so fast it feels like it's trying to escape your chest, and you're so stiff that the only thing moving is your wide eyes darting around the room, scanning for any distractions. Man, you’re even holding your breath, like somehow taking a deep one would draw attention away from how ridiculously nervous you are. And why is that? Well, if you had to spell it out, it’s because you have this adorable little crush on her. But let’s be real—is it even just a simple crush at this point? You've gone above and beyond, attending her basketball games religiously. Not just the home games, mind you, but every single match she plays—yes, even those road trips that feel like you’re driving a thousand miles just to cheer her on. The crazy part? Caitlin has no clue about your true feelings; she just thinks you’re the most supportive friend (or desk mate, in this case) ever. She’s never made a fuss about it, which just makes your heart do backflips because it all seems so casual and laid-back.

Then, out of nowhere, Caitlin turns to you and asks, “Hey, do you have an extra pen?”

Your brain does a little somersault as you scramble to answer her. “Oh yeah, um, I’ve got one in my bag. Just give me a second!” you manage to stammer, your voice not quite catching the cool, calm vibe you wish you could project. You dive into your bag like it’s the depths of the ocean and fish out the pen, trying your best to appear nonchalant. As you hand over the pen, your fingers barely graze hers—just a fleeting touch, but let me tell you, it feels like an electric jolt going through you. It's as if fireworks just exploded inside, and you’re screaming internally and dancing with joy while simultaneously feeling like you might just melt into a puddle right there on the floor. Seriously, how could something so simple be so intensely exhilarating? Just another day in the life of crushing on Caitlin, right?

The unmistakable sound of the school bell echoed through the halls, ringing out and signaling that it was officially lunchtime. Caitlin, who had just borrowed a pen from you earlier, placed it down on your desk with a friendly little clink. “Thank you!” she said, giving your arm a light pat. Now, Caitlin is no ordinary classmate; she’s a basketball player, and as a result, she’s got some serious muscle. So, when she patted your arm, it felt a little more like a friendly punch than a gentle tap. But honestly? You didn’t mind at all. You couldn’t help but smile back at her as the classroom buzzed with excitement, and when the lunchtime chatter kicked in, the class erupted and everyone started to shuffle out in different directions.

You found yourself walking down the hallway, where colorful posters plastered on the bulletin board caught your eye. They were advertising the upcoming school festival, a big event that everyone was looking forward to, but for you, it felt more like a chore than something fun. You sighed to yourself because, truth be told, you weren’t all that excited about going. The thought of wandering around all those booths and games on your own felt daunting and, to be honest, a tad embarrassing. I mean, who wants to do all that solo? It’s just not the same. You’d much rather chill at home, maybe binge-watch your favorite series or catch up on a good book.

As you made your way to the cafeteria to grab some food, you found yourself lost in thought. You loaded up your tray, carefully selecting items that caught your eye: a slice of pizza, a scoop of mashed potatoes, and let’s not forget that chocolate pudding cup—a must! Just as you were about to head to the cash register, Caitlin appeared out of nowhere, a wide grin plastered across her face. “Hello!” she exclaimed, her voice cheerful and bright, cutting through the lunchtime chaos around you.

“Hi,” you replied, not really taking your eyes off the mountain of food you were carefully arranging. Of course, you were focusing on your food! What could be better than lunch, right? Plus, there’s something almost meditative about deciding exactly what to eat, and you wanted to get it just right. You could already feel the rumble in your stomach, making the whole food selection process all the more critical.

“Hey, are you planning to go with someone to the school festival?” Caitlin asked, her grin wide as she piled delicious-looking food onto her tray, the cafeteria bustling around the both of you.

You chuckled and shook your head. “Nah, not really. I think I’d just rather chill at home,” you replied, your tone light but kind of dismissive.

“Really? Come on! The school festival is such a blast, you know?” she said, her enthusiasm bubbling over as you both finished loading your trays with everything from pizza to mashed potatoes, your plates practically heaping with food.

“Just not feeling it,” you said a bit more bluntly, trying to downplay the real reason why you were avoiding the festival. you could feel the truth gnawing at you, but no way you were going to share that with Caitlin.

With a casual shrug, she plopped down next to you at a table in the cafeteria. It struck you as a bit odd since she typically slotted herself in with her teammates during lunch. Curiosity got the best of you as you glanced over and asked, “Why are you sitting beside me? I mean, it’s kinda surprising, you know?” you felt a flush creeping up your cheeks but did your best to keep your face cool and composed.

“Why not? Am I not allowed to sit here? Is there a rule against it or something?” she shot back playfully, taking a big bite of her pizza as if she was completely unfazed by your question.

You grinned, trying to play it cool. “No, no, it’s just that you usually hang out with your teammates at lunch. It caught me off guard, that’s all!” you said, loading your spoon with a generous helping of mashed potatoes.

“Is it so bad that I want to be your lunch buddy too?” Caitlin said, her smile brightened the whole cafeteria. That easy-going charm of hers was hard to resist, and you felt your defenses crumbling a little. Her smile just kinda made the day feel a whole lot brighter.

Lunch had just wrapped up, and now it was time to head to your next class—statistics. you felt a mix of excitement and dread because Caitlin and you are not in the same class for that particular subject. You had spent the entire lunch break joking and laughing together, and it was going to be weird to be apart. Just as you were about to go your separate ways, Caitlin stopped in her tracks and said something that completely threw you off.

“Hey, wait for me after school,” she said, her voice full of that trademark confidence of hers. “Meet me outside the gym. It’ll be right after my basketball practice.” She ended her declaration with a playful wink, which honestly made your heart skip a beat. What was that supposed to mean? Was she asking me out, or just wanted to hang out? Your mind was racing, and you stood there frozen, watching her jog away from the cafeteria, her ponytail swishing back and forth.

After what felt like an eternity of trying to process what had just happened, you finally made your way to your locker to grab your essentials for the upcoming class. You shuffled through the contents of your backpack, but all you could think about was that unexpected moment with Caitlin. It was like your brain had hit the rewind button and was stuck replaying her words and that wink.

Once you settled into your seat in the statistics class, it was nearly impossible to focus. You kept zoning out, completely disconnected from the lecture. The professor was talking about probability, but all you could see were flashes of Caitlin’s smile. You glanced at your desk mate, who seemed to notice your absent-mindedness. She gave you a gentle poke with her elbow, glancing from you to the front of the class, where the professor was now shooting you a look that clearly indicated you were not participating at all.

You finally snapped back to reality and gave your desk mate a quick nod along with a sheepish smile, silently thanking her for the subtle reminder to rein it in and pay attention. You needed to focus—no more daydreaming about Caitlin until after class!

Finally, you’ve made it through the end of another day of classes, and let’s be real—you actually managed to finish everything without losing your mind in the process! Sure, there were moments when your thoughts drifted off to daydreams of far-off places or maybe those few freaking words Catlin just told you after lunch, but somehow, you kept it together. Now, it’s time to tackle the task of organizing those chaotic notes you scribbled during class. You know, the ones that look like a mix between a treasure map and abstract art?

With a casual urgency, you hurriedly scribble down a few final reminders before shoving everything into your backpack. You’ve got to make this quick—the bell's about to ring, and you can't miss this chance to grab your things and head out. The thought of catching up with Caitlin after her basketball training is the motivation you need to pick up the pace.

Once you've tossed everything into your locker, you practically sprint across the campus, excited to meet her outside the gym where she’d said to wait. As you approach the gym, your heart picks up speed—not just from the little jog but also from the anticipation of seeing her. Just as you round the corner, there she is! Standing outside the gym, her characteristic ponytail swishing behind her, evidence of the hard work she’s put in during practice. You can see the glisten of sweat on her forehead, a badge of honor after giving it her all on the court.

She spots you immediately and raises her hand in a friendly wave, a big smile breaking out on her face. You can't help but grin back, feeling a rush of happiness. Waving enthusiastically, you jog the last few steps to close the distance.

“Hey!” Caitlin said softly, glancing over at you as the rays of the afternoon sun cast a warm golden glow on her glistening skin. It was around 4 PM, and the light made her look almost ethereal. You couldn’t help but return her smile, your heart racing a little as you waited for her to spill whatever it was she had on her mind.

“So, I wanted to ask you something,” she started, her usual bubbly energy slightly dampened. “I wanted to know if you’re going to the school festival with anyone. And, it caught me by surprise when you said no.” She chuckled lightly at her last words, her eyes shimmering with mischief.

Wait, what did she just say? Glad? Why on earth would she be glad about that? Should you be feeling all giddy inside because the girl you liked, the one you've been secretly crushing on, was actually relieved that you weren't going with someone else? Or was it more appropriate to feel a little offended? You found yourself caught up in a whirlwind of mixed emotions. “I’m wondering… you know… if we could go together…” Her voice trailed off, and suddenly all that confidence she usually exuded seemed to evaporate. She was now looking down, nervously tapping her feet against the pavement. The way she gripped the hem of her jersey tightly and bit her lip was so uncharacteristic of her.

Your cheeks were on fire, and you felt heat rising to your face. It was almost surreal to think about it—this was Caitlin, the girl you admired from afar, who dazzled you every time she stepped onto the basketball court, looking fierce and unstoppable. And now here she was, standing right in front of you and practically asking you out to the festival. You could hardly contain your disbelief. The reality of the moment washed over you like a tidal wave, leaving you both excited and anxious about where this could lead.

Caitlin stood in front of you, a bundle of nerves wrapped in a cute package, fidgeting as she awaited your reaction. You could practically see the butterflies swirling in her stomach as she mustered the courage to ask if you’d go to the school festival with her. It was one of those classic moments that felt straight out of a teen rom-com—awkward and adorable all at once.

When you finally flashed her a big, goofy smile, it was like a weight lifted off her shoulders. You could feel your cheeks heat up, betraying your cool facade, and for a split second, you wondered if you’d ever be able to hide that blush. “I’ll go with you,” you said, almost in a whisper, but your voice carried enough for her to hear, and that’s all that mattered.

Her face lit up brighter than any festival lights you could imagine. Caitlin’s smile was contagious; you couldn't help but grin even wider. And out of nowhere, she surged forward and wrapped her arms around you in a tight embrace, squeezing you like a teddy bear. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, a mix of joy and slight panic at the sudden affection, and you playfully nudged her away. “Whoa there, girl, you're all sweaty from practice! Maybe go wipe yourself up before you give me a sticky hug next time?” You chuckled, trying to lighten the moment, and she burst into laughter, dashing back into the school gym with a playful energy that made your heart skip a beat.

Fast forward a few days, and it’s wild how different things feel now. The whole asking-you-out episode has been a game changer! It’s not just some one-off event; it's like the spark ignited a fire. Things have been going smoothly between the two of you, and each day feels like a new level unlocked. You’re no longer just desk mates, but something way more special. Every afternoon after class, Caitlin would give you a warm hug goodbye, sending little dreamy butterflies fluttering in your stomach each time.

Your lunches have transformed into a mini-adventure every day, the two of you sharing stories, laughter, and way too many fries. And the best part? Caitlin has made it a point to wait for you after school, even when she’s just wrapped up her grueling training. She sacrifices her time just to drive you home, even though you both know she must be exhausted. It’s the little things—the shared looks, the goofy moments, the way her eyes light up when she sees you—that makes you realize how much this connection means to you. It’s no longer just a school crush anymore; it feels like the beginning of something truly awesome!

Tomorrow is a big day—like, the kind of big day that makes your heart race and counts down in your mind like a mini celebration. It was a school festival, and honestly, you could barely contain your excitement. You had everything all set. Your outfit was ready and waiting, meticulously chosen to make a statement. You had decided on a pair of flare jeans that hugged you in all the right places, paired with a black turtleneck top that screamed chic. To top it off, you threw on this adorable red crocheted sweater that added a pop of color and warmth; it perfectly matched your vibe for the day.

Just as you were about to sink into your comfy bed and drift off to dreamland, your phone buzzed with a text from Caitlin. That girl always knew how to pop into your mind just when you were about to go to sleep!

Her message read, "What color are you wearing tomorrow?"

With a smirk on your face, you typed back the simplest yet brightest answer, "Red." It was short, but it said everything! With that small task done, you felt your eyelids getting heavy, and before you knew it, you were off in dreamland.

When the sun began to peek through your curtains, casting a warm, golden glow into your room, you knew it was finally festival day! You hopped out of bed and made a beeline for the shower, letting the water wake you up. After a refreshing wash, you devoured a quick breakfast—nothing fancy, just enough fuel to kick your day into gear.

Next came the fun part: the beauty routine! You carefully applied just the right amount of makeup, making sure to add a touch of sparkle for that festival shine. As you curled your hair into bouncy waves, you couldn’t resist the urge to accentuate it with two cute little red ribbons, perfectly matching your sweater.

Just as you were putting the finishing touches on your look, you heard a familiar car honking outside your house. You peeked out of your window and, sure enough, it was Caitlin pulling up in her car. Perfect timing! You quickly snatched your bag, probably a little too hastily, and rushed out of the house, ready to kick off a day filled with fun. The excitement bubbled inside you, and all you could think about was the amazing memories you were about to create at the festival!

As you slid into Caitlin's car, you were instantly greeted by the delightful surprise of a bunch of vibrant flowers right in front of your face. In her hands, she held three stunning gerberas, each one bursting with color—radiant yellow, fiery orange, and a deep, rich red. You couldn’t help but smile at the unexpected gift as you reached out, taking the flowers from her. "What’s up with the flowers, Cait?" you asked with a chuckle, unable to hide your amusement. "Is this some kind of romantic date or something? I mean, we're just heading to the school festival, not a gala or anything!" You laughed, looking over at her, but noticed she was staring at you very intently, almost seriously.

That’s when you caught a glimpse of her outfit and realized that she was donning a cozy, red crocheted sweater that seemed to match one of the flowers perfectly. Suddenly, it clicked in your mind why she had casually asked you about your outfit colors for the festival last night. It was like a puzzle piece falling into place. "Why are you giving me that look? Chill out, will ya? At this rate, you're gonna poke a hole in my eyes!" You joked, trying to cut through the awkward tension that settled between you like a thick fog.

"I'm sorry," Caitlin replied, a light laugh escaping her lips as the seriousness faded away a bit. You both shifted gears and set off toward your university, where the festival buzzed with excitement and anticipation. The drive was eerily calm but filled with an undercurrent of fun and expectation.

Once you arrived, you carefully placed the flowers Caitlin had given you on the car seat, making sure they wouldn’t be squished or damaged in any way. You didn’t want anything to happen to those beautiful blooms—they were a sweet gesture that added a sparkle to the already vibrant atmosphere of the day. You glanced back at them for a moment before stepping out of the car and into the festival frenzy.

Caitlin and you hit up every single booth you could find at the school festival, and let me tell you, you both had a blast! your first stop was the dining booth, where you totally transformed into fancy restaurant diners, even though your meal was nothing but gummy candies and sweet treats. You're sitting at a little table, pretending to savor gourmet dishes, but instead, you're chomping on gummy bears and swigging down soda that tastes like pure sugar. It was hilarious, and honestly, you think you should open your own gummy restaurant!

After that, you made your way to the haunted booth, which was, no joke, spine-chilling! Honestly, you thought you were going to jump out of your skin at least three times. They had all sorts of creepy decorations, eerie sound effects, and actors dressed up to look like they’d just crawled out of a horror movie. Your heart was racing the whole time, and you could hear Caitlin squealing beside you. It was pretty entertaining!

Then the two of you strolled over to the karaoke booth. Oh boy, that was something else! You both grabbed the mic and started belting out songs, even though your singing voices could best be described as, well, let's just say “not so great.” You were just having so much fun that you couldn’t help but laugh at how bad you two sounded! Who cares if you were off-key, right? you were making memories!

Next on your adventure was the photo booth. You hopped in and started snapping friendly pics together, pulling all sorts of silly faces and poses. You really wished you could have hugged her while you were taking the pictures, but you didn’t want to assume anything about how she felt towards you, especially since she invited you to the festival in the first place. I mean, maybe you were just buddies, but it felt like there could be something more there.

As the day went on, You and Caitlin started to feel pretty worn out from all the excitement, so you found a cozy bench to sit and take a breather. It was around 5 PM, and the sun was slowly making its descent in the sky, painting everything in gorgeous shades of orange and pink. Luckily, you found this little spot that was mostly empty, allowing you to sit back and bask in the beauty of the sunset without any distractions. You just sat there, soaking it all in, feeling like you were in your own little world while the hustle and bustle of the festival buzzed around you. Everything about that day was just perfect for the both of you.

As you and Caitlin lounged together, soaking in the breathtaking hues of the sunset stretching across the sky, a sense of bliss washed over you. The day’s fun adventures—the laughter, the games, the silly moments—seemed to melt away, replaced by a tranquil togetherness. You felt blissfully at ease, letting the warm colors painted in the sky wrap around you like a cozy blanket. Just as you were getting lost in the moment, Caitlin unexpectedly broke the serene silence.

“I like you,” she casually blurted out, her gaze fixed firmly on the horizon and the vibrant sun that was slowly sinking beneath the edge of the world. Her words floated through the air, completely catching you off guard. You felt a rush of emotions flooding your mind—surprise, joy, confusion—all swirling together, and for a moment, you were speechless, trying to process what just happened.

“Caitlin—” was all you could manage to whisper. It was as if your voice got caught in your throat, cut off before you could even formulate a proper response.

But Caitlin wasn’t done. She turned her head slightly, making sure to lock her eyes onto yours, and said, “I said I like you, Y/N.” The sincerity in her voice was unmistakable. “I’ve noticed you at all my games, you know. Even the ones that are nowhere close to home, where you have to endure long drives just to see me play.” Her cheeks flushed gently as she spoke, and the way her eyes held yours made your heart race.

“I always look forward to those classes we share,” she continued, her voice softening even more. “It makes it that much better knowing we sit next to each other. Every time, it feels like there’s this little spark, something special.” Each confession was like poetry, spilling out of her as if she was releasing a weight she had carried for too long.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any more surprising, she added with a shy grin, “You know, I always have a pen on me, but I usually pretend I don’t just so I can borrow yours. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you more.”

At that moment, everything clicked into place. The admiring glances, the lingering conversations, and all those little smiles exchanged in fleeting moments suddenly made sense. You had thought you were the only one harboring feelings for her, secretly admiring her from a distance, but here she was, bravely laying her heart out in front of you, equally captivated. Your heart swelled with a mix of happiness and disbelief—could this actually be happening?

"I've been meaning to tell you this for a while now," she admitted, her gaze locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. "But honestly, I just couldn't find the right moment." Caitlin paused for a second, a soft smile spreading across her face as she continued, "Then, out of the blue, this school festival happened, and I thought maybe it would be the perfect chance to finally say something."

"I like you too, Caitlin," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, but there was an undeniable firmness behind your words. You held her gaze, feeling an electric connection between the two of you. Without any hesitation, she leaned in and pressed her lips against yours, and, wow, it took you completely by surprise. For a brief moment, everything else around you faded into the background—it was just the two of you in a world of your own. Your mind started to race, but in the best way possible—your heart pounding like crazy, and a goofy smile crept onto your face as you kissed her back.

After what felt like an eternity of shared bliss, the kiss slowly came to an end. You pulled away just enough to look into her eyes, which sparkled with happiness. Without breaking the warmth of that moment, Caitlin wrapped her arms around you in a cozy hug, and you felt the world outside vanish even more.

"May I court you?" she asked softly from within the embrace, her voice almost a playful whisper. You could hardly believe what you were hearing. The thrill coursed through you as you nodded frantically, your excitement bursting at the seams. What an incredible twist to your day—a million thoughts raced through your mind, but one thing was crystal clear: everything was starting to feel just right.