#The Last Of Us (HBO)

[punkshort]

I don’t know if this is an annoying request but is there any way to get a Drabble of when reader had gotten jealous (in the past before the accident) when she found out that joel and Angie had history. In one of your previous chapters, Joel described it as some of the best sex of his life 👀

-Kiwi 🥝💚

Not an annoying ask at all! Thank you for sending this to me, this was a great idea! Sorry it took so long to get to it!

Jealous

An I Know Who You Are drabble

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: smut (18+ MDNI), blow job, unprotected piv sex, language, edging, lil bit of dom reader/sub joel, masturbation, angry/a little rough sex, jealousy, possessiveness, spanking, hair pulling

WC: 1.6K

A/N: I want to let everyone know this part of their history took place very early on in their relationship. Reader does not yet know his secret, they are in the 'messing around' stage and if you recall, Joel once compared reader to taming a wild horse. So the reader in this story is very different from the one we know. Enjoy!

"Please," Joel whimpered, no longer above begging.

You were between his legs, his cock leaking and heavy in your mouth. With every swirl of your tongue and pump of your fist, he felt himself getting closer and closer to the brink just to have you pull away with a devilish smirk. It was maybe the third time you left him gasping for breath but he lost count so he couldn't be sure. His brain was a jumbled mess and his skin was on fire, soaked with sweat due to his heart pounding so furiously in his chest for the past twenty minutes.

"God, I love it when you use your manners," you purred. You cracked your back and neck with a soft moan, completely ignoring his cock throbbing and aching for attention in front of you. "It really turns me on. Wanna see?"

He groaned and arched his back off the bed, desperately trying to get you to touch him again. He wasn't used to this. Whatever it was you were doing together was fairly new and while the sex was always good, this was something else. And all because at dinner that night, you discovered he fucked someone else well before you even arrived in Jackson.

It was beginning to bother him how non-committal you were. The first couple times you were together, he didn't mind. In fact, he preferred it that way. Especially considering the guilt that weighed him down ever since he first recognized you. But recently, something changed in the way he looked at you, thought about you, felt about you. He was so fucking rusty, he had no idea how to shift the nature of your relationship to something more meaningful. So when Angie showed up, batting her lashes and touching his shoulder at the bar while he waited for you to finish playing whatever game you were playing and come home with him, he leaned into it a bit. He tossed Angie a smile just to add fuel to the flames and make you end the charade. And out of the corner of his eye, when he saw you stiffen and slam down your drink, he felt his cock twitch with excitement.

Maybe he shouldn't have pushed your buttons.

"You're not listening to me," you said sternly, grabbing his chin and forcing his attention back onto you. "I asked you a question."

"Yes," he rasped, "show me. Please," he added, remembering at the last second how you liked it when he begged. You smiled and let his chin go, then took that very same hand and slowly dragged it down your bare chest, over your stomach and underneath the fabric of your panties. You tipped your head back and moaned when you slid two fingers into your pussy, and when you began to rock your hips into your hand, still kneeling between his legs on the bed, he whined and fisted the bedsheets next to him.

He desperately moaned your name, wiping the sweat from his forehead, but you cut him off.

"So wet," you whispered, rolling your neck and opening your eyes, steadily holding his gaze while you continued to fuck yourself with your fingers. "Feels so good. Maybe I'll just make myself come, instead."

"No!" he growled angrily, sitting up and grabbing the back of your neck. You gasped in surprise but he could see your eyes sparkling with excitement and the corners of your mouth twitch.

"No?" you repeated, tilting your head to the side and sinking your teeth into your lower lip, your eyes locked onto his, now inches away from your face while you snapped your wrist even faster between your legs.

"I wanna make you come," he said through clenched teeth while he did everything in his power not to grab you by the waist and slam you down on his cock.

"If you don't like it, maybe you should've taken her home tonight, instead," you seethed angrily, then your eyes fluttered closed and your mouth fell open when your fingers finally brushed up against that one spot that always made you come undone. Joel's nostrils flared when he realized you were close and decided he had enough.

"Fuck this," he muttered. He wrapped his hand around your wrist and yanked it out from between your legs, and before you even had a chance to open your eyes and yell at him, he scooped his other arm around your back and flipped you over so you were lying underneath him. He smirked down at you, finally getting the upper hand. "Did I make you jealous, baby?"

You scoffed and wiggled underneath him, but he pinned you down.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're allowed to fuck whoever you want."

He hummed and noticed your fingers still glistening with your slick. He grabbed your wrist and popped both your fingers into his mouth, his tongue lapping up your arousal with a heady groan, making sure to lick up every last drop before releasing your fingers with a grin.

"Only wanna fuck you, though."

He noticed the way your expression softened a bit, just for a split second. The first crack in your armor. But before he could dig into it deeper, you shifted gears.

"Then go ahead and fuck me already."

He yanked your underwear so fast down your legs, you heard the fabric rip, but you could hardly care when a moment later he was sinking himself inside you with a strangled groan, both finally finding some relief in the familiar stretch.

"Y'drive me fuckin' crazy, y'know that?" he murmured into your cheek. He held your jaw tightly in his grip, his hips roughly slamming into you as you gasped and moaned under him. With every harsh thrust, he brushed against that one spot, already stimulated from your fingers earlier. "Can't just admit you're jealous? Wouldn't look my way all night 'til someone else did and now look at you. Makin' a mess all over my cock."

Your eyes flared with anger and you yanked your chin out of his grasp. Grabbing a handful of his hair, you pulled as hard as you could, causing him to lose his balance for a moment, but it was all you needed. You wrapped your legs around his waist and with a grunt, rolled him over onto his back so you were straddling him.

Your mouth crashed down against his, teeth clashing and tongues messily licking into each other. With your heavy breaths mingling together, his hands roamed, grabbing onto every part of you he could find until they settled on your hips. He helped guide you in his lap, fingers digging into the fatty area where your thighs and hips creased, adding more force every time you dropped back down onto his thick length.

"Jesus, fuck!" Joel growled, lifting one hand to slap your ass, the sharp sting making you gasp until the pain faded and you ordered him to do it again, so he did.

You moaned and tilted your chin to the ceiling, hips grinding into him so you could give your burning thighs a break but it apparently wasn't enough because he started to ram up into you, soft grunts slipping past his lips with each thrust.

With little warning, your back arched and you cried out, convulsing and squeezing his cock as you came, gasping desperately for air. He couldn't tear his eyes away, completely mesmerized, like usual. You were gorgeous, he always knew that, but when he got to see you fall apart for him, it transcended his definition of beauty and left him in awe.

Once you collected yourself, he pulled you down to his chest, burying his face against your neck and wrapping his arms tightly around your ribs, slamming into your used cunt over and over, making you whimper against his skin.

"I wanna come inside you so fuckin' bad," he whispered, the words sending a shiver down your spine.

"You can't," you whispered back, leaving out but I wish you could.

"I know."

With a rough groan, he pulled out, causing your eyelids to flutter weakly and your pussy clench angrily at the loss. He pulled your hips down flush so he could rut against you, stilling momentarily when his hot spend spilled out, smearing all over your stomachs.

After giving him a moment to catch his breath, you tried to roll off of him but he didn't loosen his grip.

"Just another minute," he said softly into your shoulder. He felt your body relax and he inhaled deeply, breathing in your scent for later. He tilted his head so he faced you and locked his lips with yours, one hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as he deepened the kiss. But you didn't allow it for long. You never did.

"Joel," you murmured against his mouth, pulling away and pushing yourself up. He sighed and let you go, watching as you stood on shaky legs to enter his bathroom and clean yourself up. You handed him the wet towel before collecting your clothes from the floor, holding up your mangled underwear with one finger and giving him a look. He chuckled as he wiped his stomach and shrugged.

You rolled your eyes and turned around so he didn't see the smile on your face as you got dressed. His eyes raked up and down your body for a moment before he said, "you don't gotta leave, y'know."

"I have patrol in the morning."

"So?"

"So I need to get some sleep," you said, pulling your shirt on and fixing your hair. He was really growing to hate this part. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow," you added over your shoulder as you headed towards his door. He didn't respond. He just watched you leave, a slow smile pulling at his lips because even though you acted indifferent towards him, the fact remained that you were jealous of another woman giving him attention, and that had to mean something.

[getitoutofmymindwrites]

Perfect. | joel miller x f!reader drabble, 1.6k

Summary: You're full of Joel, but you need him in your mouth, too. Joel delivers.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, SMUT, pwp, rough sex, dom!joel, sub!reader, established relationship, everything that happens is discussed and consensual, cursing, praise kink, size kink, degradation kink, unprotected p in v, minor anal play, nipple play, reader is obsessed with Joel's fingers, hair pulling, (1) ass slapping, manhandling, gagging kink, deepthroat, free use at the end, facial, cum eating, belated aftercare, as always, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: There's not much to say, this is pure filth, just to cleanse my palette of all the anguish I've brought upon myself! It was written on a whim, so here goes 👀

P.S.: I don't need to remind you how much I hate summaries. I hate them. OK, ily all, bye!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

“Fuck, you feel so good-” Joel pants between your breasts as you take him deep inside you, riding him, “uuuuuh, perfect- fuck- perfect little pussy-” He’s so big, you feel him in your belly. Your cunt is stretched to its limit but you’re so wet from all the orgasms he pulled out of you before impaling you on his hard cock, that he slides inside you with ease.

He sits on the edge of the bed, his feet touching the soft carpet beneath him. His hands cradle your ass, kneading it and maneuvering you up and down on his thick cock, while you lock your hands around his neck for leverage.

His fingertips glide lightly over your asshole as he holds you open and stretched in his palms, feeling your tight ring of muscle clench on his digits. His lower belly and balls are soaked in your arousal, the hairs on his base glued together by your sticky slick. Your clit rubs against them every time you roll your hips.

Joel runs his big calloused palms up your back, sending shivers down your spine and as you arch your back in pleasure, pushing your breasts closer to his face, he cups them, pinching your hardened nipples between his thumb and forefinger. You look down at his hands as he continues to arouse your tits and the sight makes your clit twitch and your cunt clench around him.

His wet tongue enters the game, flicking it up and down over your erect nubs, sending jolts of pleasure through your body and your thighs begin to tremble both from exhaustion and arousal.

Your fingers run through his hair, tugging gently. He moans as his hand comes down hard on your asscheek. You whimper at the spreading pain, your cunt gushing around his cock, the lewd sounds of your joined sexes only making it more obvious.

You fuck him so good and hard, sucking him deep inside you, you start creaming around him.

You become obsessed with his hands. Big, strong, veined and tanned, with tiny freckles, his fingers calloused and skillful; their expert touch, always bring you to completion.

“I wanna suck your fingers. Please..” you coo into his ear, your hands tugging desperately at the unruly curls at the back of his head.

“Mhhhh..yeah?” Joel turns his head towards you, his aquiline nose pressing against your cheek.

Your grip on him tightens as you continue to bounce on his cock, your voice laced with need and lust, “Please, Joel..”

Joel grants your wish and moves a palm away from your breast but doesn’t bring it to your mouth. Instead, he snakes it between your bodies, collecting your arousal from his slick-coated base. He’s going to be the death of you.

He brings his shiny fingers to your face allowing you to take the lead, go on, then. Milky strings of your slick create little webs connecting his digits together.

You encircle his wrist with your delicate fingers and bring his palm to your nose, smelling the combination of your juices and his musk, making your eyes roll. “You dirty little thing..” he mutters to himself, smirking as he begins to meet your thrusts with his own, the sound of your bodies slapping together filling the otherwise silent room.

You open your eyes and slowly wrap your lips around his middle and ring fingers, swirling your tongue around the tips as you would his cock head. “Fuck.” he grunts through his teeth and you feel him twitch inside you, his breath stuttering. You hollow out your cheeks and suck them into your warm mouth, bobbing your head up and down on them, your eyes never leaving his.

“You like that, babygirl? Suckin’ my fingers like you do my cock?”

“Mmhmm..” you all but moan, your face wrecked from the intensity of the moment.

“Wanna gag on them?” Fuck yes.

“Mhhhh” you whine now, sucking even harder to make a point. He pushes his fingers further into your mouth as his cock pushes deeper into you, stroking that sweet spot that only he can reach. He presses on your gag reflex, making you gag and your eyes water. Your grip on his wrist is firm, making sure his fingers stay in your mouth.

“Such a fuckin’ whore f’ me, aren’t you? Stuffing your holes full ’a me, huh?” You clench violently around him, almost to the point of coming, your breath coming in short pants. He leans forward, his lips brushing your ear “Maybe I should stuff your tight little hole with my other hand, I bet you’d like me in there, too. I bet you’d take me so well, yeah?”

His dirty talk drives you wild and you arch your spine again, moaning around his fingers but he quickly withdraws them, strings of saliva briefly connecting your lips to his tips and you whimper at the loss.

He lowers his slick fingers to tap quickly but gently on your swollen clit. You cry out at the stimulation, waves of electricity rippling through your body. “Gonna come on my cock baby? Yeah..” he breathes, his eyes fixed on your face, contorted with pleasure, “Yeah, you are.”

That does it; you come so hard, spasming around his stiff length, making a mess on his lap. Joel stops fucking into you, staying buried to the hilt inside you, feeling the tight grip of your cunt choking him in rhythm.

“That’s it, thaaat’s it, look at me, baby, fuck- fuckmmphh- this perfect cunt-” Joel keeps guiding you through your orgasm, biting where your neck meets your shoulder.

Your mouth is slack from the force of your release but it feels so empty and before you come down completely you are begging for him. “I need you in my mouth, Joel- I need you to fill me with your cum, please Joel, please..” you beg deliriously.

“Christ, baby.” Joel grits his teeth and pulls you off his lap and his hard member, forcing you onto your knees and shoving his cock into your mouth, grabbing handfuls of your hair. He can't deny you when you beg so prettily.

The taste is heavenly. Tasting yourself on him as you breathe in his heady scent makes your head spin with desire. “That’s it, gag on it.” he says as he focuses on his shaft, veiny, swollen and shiny, disappearing into your warm mouth, hitting the back of your throat with each thrust.

He knows. He sees it all in your eyes, you’re so far gone, surrendered to your pleasure and his. Joel begins to fuck your throat in deep, sharp thrusts, his thighs tensing and bulging under your palms. He rests his hand around your throat, feeling it bulge under his fingertips.

You’re utterly ruined. Your eyes are bloodshot and filled with tears, and your lips are stretched and swollen as you drool around him. Your face is coated in sweat, saliva and your arousal. You can taste your cum and his pre-cum on your tongue, along with every ridge and vein of his erection. You just kneel there, between his legs like a toy, letting him take and give what you both need.

“Fuck, look at you. Look at you, my sweet girl, choking on this big cock.”

You don’t react, you just sit there, pliant and doe-eyed and take it; content and worry-free. You make it so hard for him to hold back any longer. He’s about to come and he has this irresistible urge to ruin that innocent, fucked out look on your face.

He pulls his cock out of your mouth and jerks furiously over your face, his biceps flexing from the effort, his other hand firmly gripping your hair to maneuver you as he pleases. You look up at him in total surrender, tongue out, longing for what’s to come.

His eyebrows are drawn together, his jaw is slack and his mouth is open in that perfect shape that his plush lips form, as he breathes heavily. His broad torso, covered in both yours and his sweat, rises and falls rapidly, his muscles flexing deliciously under his skin.

He comes and comes with a deep, guttural moan all over your face; your forehead, your eyelashes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips, everything is marked by his thick, warm, milky cum. Your cunt flutters at this act of degradation and possession.

“Don’t open them; it’ll sting.” you hear him say while catching his breath, referring to your closed eyes and your cum-coated lashes. You do as he says and wait behind the darkness of your closed eyelids for him to take care of you. But Joel just sits there, admiring his handiwork as he comes down from his high.

You can hear his heavy breathing and the lack of sight is the only thing that makes you realize he’s human, like you. This otherwise divine creature is human.

“Let’s clean you up.” you finally hear him say as you feel his thumb wipe his now cold and dry cum from your skin, press it gently against your lips and feed it to you. You swallow every last drop of it, your tongue warm and welcoming around his digit. He leaves your eyes last.

When he’s finished, he holds the sides of your face with his palms, taking a good look at your submissive form, resting his forehead against yours.

You slowly open your eyes as he plants soft kisses all over your face. “Perfect..” you hear him murmur, more to himself than to you.

“Perfect and mine.”

[auteurdelabre]

AS LONG AS YOU WANT (Part 3 - FINAL) Joel!Miller x f!Reader

chapter summary: The truth comes out

tags: enemies to lovers, miscommunication trope, fluff, HEA

a/n: This shit is fluffy AF y'all. A little love letter to the sweetheart that sent me a donation (I won't name ya unless you want me to!) that really touched me. I think it's a fitting finale to our sweet little story that all began as a gift to my heart @katiexpunk.

series masterlist here

AS LONG AS YOU WANT PART III

The next morning the door is pushed open without so much as a knock. You're elevated on your back, feeling every touch of pain that crackles along your body. Your head is throbbing and you need to pee so badly it hurts. 

"Who is it?"

"Me," a young voice replies, accompanied by the sound of boots being kicked off and a jacket being hung over a chair. 

"Come in," you call. "I'd offer you a drink but I can barely fucking move."

"Yeah, I heard."

Your eyes go to the door frame to see Ellie entering with an armful of snow-flicked books. Her cheeks are pink from the cold. 

"What are you doing here?"

"Joel sent me," Ellie explains, pulling the chair next to your bed so you can look at her easier. "Wanted me to drop this off."

She places a gently clattering container of pain pills on your bedside table. You hold in a growl of irritation.

"I don't need those."

"Joel says that if you say that then I'm supposed to tell you that he's already gone today to get the Teton Village medicine so you can take these ones now."

Joel went on patrols in this weather? You can see the blustery day from your bedroom window, can hear the strong winds on your roof. Your face contorts into a confused scowl. 

"But the s-"

"He also says for me to remind you that he's a good rider," Ellie says imitating his deep rasp, amusement in her young teenage face. "And that he knows how to handle the fuckin' snow."

Ellie smiles broadly, amused at your momentarily awed reaction. 

You scoff. "Anything else?"

"Yeah," Ellie smiles. "He says not to miss his handsome face too much while he's gone."

You feel a heat go to your cheeks as you pretend to laugh along with her. His voice echoes in your mind. 

You think I'm handsome?

Ellie hands you one of the pills from the bottle. You take it reluctantly, swallowing it dry. 

When the pain ebbs slightly a short while later Ellie helps you to a standing position so you can use the toilet. You decide to shower yourself up the best you can before returning to the bedroom. Ellie is just finished changing your sheets. 

Gratitude for both her and Joel sears through you. That they would go to all of this trouble for just you. 

Wrapped in a fuzzy towel you pad over to the dresser. You pull on a nightdress over the towel before dropping it down to the floor, drying your feet. You think about crouching down to pick it up but you can't chance it. Just the thought makes your side ache. 

Your attention is drawn to the pile of books she's emptied from her bag and heaved onto the bedside table. 

"What're those?"

“You’ve never seen books before?”

“Ha ha,” you mock drolly rolling your eyes.

“They’re from our place," Ellie tells you before bringing them over. "Joel thought you'd want some new reading material."

Something slithers through your body at this comment. Joel is being so thoughtful, remembering things about you and he’s going to all this effort... But why? Was it just for you? And if it was, how do you feel about it?

You let yourself search your body and brain for a reaction and are surprised because You feel... Warm about it.

That's probably just the medication.

When you come back to stand next to the bed Ellie gives you a scan.

"You okay?"

"Yup," you say happily. "Just feeling good."

"Oh yeah?" Ellie holds in a laugh. She watches you roll awkwardly back into the bed, eyes glazed. 

"Thanks for doing this Ellie. The books and pills and my bed and everything."

"Joel would be upset if I didn't," Ellie admits, moving the pillows under you until you're half seated. She darts a glance at you. "He cares a lot about you, you know."

"Mhm," you offer noncommittal. You're feeling that same loopy sensation from before. The one that has you feeling loving towards everyone. "I care about him too."

"Really?" Ellie sounds surprised. 

"I think he's so handsome. And his mouth is so soft, Ellie. I wanna kiss him all the time."

"Gross," Ellie is trying not to laugh at your obviously drugged state. "I thought you two couldn't stand each other? You're always starting in on each other when I see you."

"He's annoying," you say with a pout. "But he's good inside. He just hides it." 

"Oh yeah?" Ellie is tilted back in her chair secretly screaming in amusement. She's known you for over a year and never gotten so much as a hint of your affection for Joel. 

But now that she thinks about it though it all seems so obvious. The way the two of you always seem to find one another in a crowd, even if it is just to argue. The way Joel gets up extra early on patrol days and uses extra shampoo. The way you both go pink in the cheeks when you have a disagreement, eyes flashing. 

How didn't she see it before now? 

Her surrogate father figure means a lot to her. He always has and always will. She wants him to be happy. She thinks about the two of you together and it brings a grin to her chapped lips. 

"What's your favorite thing about Joel?"

She pulls the sheet up to your waist, amused at the dreamy look that's taken over your features. 

"How well he takes care of things. Like, how he takes care of you and the horses and the community," you're slurring now. "He's got such a big heart." 

"He does," Ellie agrees, thankful that it's not just her who knows it. 

"I think about him all the time," you murmur, head tilting against the pillow. "But I try not to."

Ellie finds her amusement giving way to something deeper as she watches you fall into a medicated sleep. But not before you seem to momentarily come back to yourself. 

"Don't tell him," your drugged self begs slowly. "He can't know. He doesn't see me like that." 

///

Ellie drops by every day with food and to help you out of bed when you need it. You're doing much better however, and a lot of that is in thanks to the pills. They make it possible for you to sleep without waking. 

Gemma also returns daily to check up on you, thankful that you're taking the pills and sleeping. 

Your body begins to mend and soon you don't need the pills at all. You keep them right there on your bedside table just in case. But you plan on returning then to Gemma when you're completely healed up. 

After a week you're able to get to the washroom independently without doubling over. You're able to shower and to wash your hair. 

Joel doesn't stop by. 

By week three Gemma is only visiting every couple of days to ensure that you're healing properly. Ellie comes by with food daily but she doesn't stay long as she's started helping in the community garden after school. 

And in all this time your thoughts draw to Joel. His eyes when he looked at you over his whiskey glass, the curve of his smirk, his finger in your mouth. All of these jumble up in your mind leaving you irritable and confused.

You'd almost convinced yourself he liked you. Almost could have believed that there was a mutual attraction underneath the bickering. 

He went and got the medication didn't he? Wasn't that something? 

But maybe it hadn't been for your benefit. Joel feels similar to you about the community of Jackson. Putting it first before your own interests. Maybe that's why he headed out in a snowstorm. 

Probably. 

Because he hasn't been by to see you since that night. You don't blame him - it's not like you're friends. You're patrol partners and he felt responsible to see you didn't die that day in the stables. 

It shouldn't bother you that he hasn't come by since. 

But it does. 

///

Week four is when you feel good enough to go out for short walks. You decide to get food from the dining hall. The pain is fairly minimal, but you're breathing is a bit labored. 

It takes you three times as long to get there but you feel very proud of yourself. Folks greet you, but politely. You don't know many of the people that live here; you've always been more of a hermit. 

Ellie spots you when you shuffle towards the drinks station and she waves you over. 

You slowly make your way to their end of the table, shooting a wan smile that Ellie returns. Joel meanwhile has his head facing down to his meal, his countenance withdrawn. 

"Come eat with us," Ellie insists. 

"Not really up to it today," you confess. "Was kinda just trying to stretch my legs and grab something to take back. Give you a break from having to bring me food every day."

"I don't mind," Ellie shrugs. "I like feeling useful."

Joel is studiously ignoring you, his eyes on his plate. You don't know why but this upsets you. Joel is always finding some way to tease you or throw a sarcastic comment your way. But right now he's so quiet, so still. 

"Well I appreciate what you've done for me," you say, tucking the sandwich into your pocket. "Both of you."

Joel feels himself straighten, his heart picking up speed, his entire body prickling at your nearness. He can smell your soap, see the way your face looks so much healthier now that you've been getting regular sleep. 

"No problem," Ellie replies. She shoots Joel a look before kicking his shin under the table. By the time he gets what she's trying to communicate you're already gone. 

///

"She told me," Ellie says to Joel for the twentieth time that morning. The two of them walk over the frost covered landscape. 

Ellie has finally told Joel about your confession. She shouldn't have betrayed your privacy but seeing the two of you walking around so oblivious is frustrating to Ellie.  

"She was high as a kite," Joel mumbles, unable to look at her. 

"So?"

"She didn't mean it."

"She did so," Ellie insists. "She likes you Joel. Thinks you're handsome and kind and-"

"Ellie just drop it," Joel throws over his shoulder. 

He doesn't want to nurse this pathetic crush of his anymore. It doesn't matter what you say when you're on medication. In the cold light of day you don't want him and that's fine. He's been single a long time. 

And yet...

When his walk with Ellie ends and he starts up the stairs of the porch to head inside his house something tugs at him. It makes him mumble to Ellie about grabbing something from the shop, ignoring the knowing smirk on her face. 

It tugs him hastily towards your home, to your front door and when you invite whomever is outside in, it tugs him by the collar to stand beside your bed watching you place a mug of tea down on your bedside table. 

He takes in the nightdress you wear, the dark under your eyes. He sees the blanket pulled up to your collar, looking cozy and warm. Somehow that thought turns him on more than he can explain, just knowing your skin would be warm and soft and…

"Hey, everything okay, Miller?" Your eyes scan his face as he stares at you without speaking. "You seem... Weird."

Joel swallows a scowl. This is what he rushed over here for? This was the woman who really really liked him according to Ellie?

I'm a fuckin' idiot. 

"Yeah I'm fine. Just... Checkin' in on you."

"Oh." You seem surprised at this, smiling faintly. "Yeah, well, I'm getting there. I feel pretty good most days."

"S'good," Joel nods, shuffling slightly. And he means it, he is really glad that you're okay. It makes the coil of rope around his heart go slack. As if now he can properly breathe. His hands go into his jean pockets and he clears his throat awkwardly.

"You went to a lot of effort," you tell him, feeling shy. "Before. With the medication.'

Was it for me? 

"Yeah, well, we needed more meds," Joel reasons, unable to look you in the face. "And I had nothin' better to do."

Of course it wasn't for me. 

You're so stupid thinking that there was anything there. You want to shake yourself silly for thinking that there was any chance Joel Miller sees you as anything more than an annoyance. 

"Right, yeah." You sigh softly. "Well, thank you. I got a few days of really good sleep, managed the pain. Couldn't have done that without your help."

Joel makes a small grunt of acknowledgement in return. 

He doesn't want to stick around too much longer. He feels awkward enough knowing that in the sober light of day you want nothing to do with him. It's made worse knowing that he so easily and readily would have opened his heart if you had given only the slightest indication today. 

"Well, get better soon," he mumbles. "Patrols need as many people as possible." 

You try not to look deflated. Everything he’s saying today hits you like a punch to the gut. You give a weak smile, nodding up at him.

"Right."

"I'll send Ellie by with some more books next week if you want." He motions to the books scattered on your bed, some dog-eared, many finished. 

"You'll probably be done with all these by then." 

You want to deny this offer, not wanting anything more from him. But he's correct, you read quickly and these books will surely be done by next week.

"That would be nice, thanks." 

He gives a short raise of his fingers before he's turned and preparing to walk out the door into the chill of the day. 

"Joel?"

He stills mid-step at the sound of your voice. He turns, hearing you tentatively approach him. He's surprised to see you out of the bed, bare feet padding over to him. You’re wearing a thin nightdress and he fights everything in his body not to stare at the way he can see the tight buds of your nipples through it.

"I never really thanked you for everything," you say softly as you approach, chest heaving nervously. "The doctor, the soup and drink." 

You're so close he could wrap his hand around your neck and pull you to him. His fingers twitch against his thighs at the thought. His feelings for you are coursing through him and he's having a difficult time reminding himself that you don't want him like that. 

"So thanks," you finish lamely, gaze unable to drift from his. It feels like his dark brown eyes are hypnotizing, drawing you into their depths. 

Your eyes move to his mouth, that pouty, soft-looking mouth that haunts your fucking dreams. You realize with a shiver that you want Joel. You need to feel what it is to kiss him. Suddenly you can't help yourself. 

A hand snakes out to his collar, tugging his face down to yours. Your mouths collide because you are desperate to see if Joel's lips feel as soft as they look. 

They do.  

They're so soft and they go firm as he kisses you back, groaning gently into your mouth. His hands travel to your waist, quickly banding around your lower back, pulling you into his hips. You smile against his lips, hands moving from his collar to grip his neck, needing more of him. 

Joel feels like he’s on fire in the best possible way. You’re so warm in his arms, just like he imagined. And you’re pulling him against you, needy for him like he is for you. He backs you against the wall, careful to be gentle as he does. He licks into your mouth, his hips grinding against yours.

“So fucking sweet,” he murmurs against your mouth, one hand on your lower back, the other cradling the back of your head so that he can taste all of you. Every crevice, every sensation, everything that’s you. His hand slides to your hip, urging one leg to band around his waist, his thickness rasping through his jeans against your clothed core.

“Oh f-fuck,” you groan as his mouth goes to your jaw, pressing desperate kisses down the side of your throat. Joel feels as your hands go for the buckle of his belt and his mouth comes back to capture yours once more. As your tongue greedily dabs against his and your hand slides underneath his jeans you feel Joel suddenly tense under you. 

"Wait what-" Joel pulls back, his hands gripping you by the shoulder, looking into your face. He peers into your face a long while before his eyes fly to your bedside table behind you, fixing there before you see his face fall.

You see the way his brows rise and the almost pained look in his eyes as he speaks.  

"I gotta go."

Before you can say anything to him Joel has scrambled to buckle his pants and then rushed out of the room.  You can hear his boots slapping against the porch steps as you glance over at your bedside table.

There you see the collection of books, a glass of water, the opened pill container, a hairbrush. You don't know what upset him so much but you feel a rush of shame go through you. It has nothing to do with what’s on your bedside table, it’s that Joel realized that he doesn’t want you like that.

You were an idiot to think Joel Miller cares for you. 

///

After six weeks you’re feeling back to your normal self. You tell a very excited Maria that you’re ready to get back to patrols but added: “Do you think you could swap my shifts though? I’d like a new partner.”

It hurt having to ask her that, but it felt necessary. Maria hadn’t questioned it – it was commonplace to switch people out from time to time. The man currently filling your spot with Joel would continue on in your place and you’d be moved to D-Watch.

It seemed like a perfect plan until the next day when you rose very early and headed to the stables.

You wanted to take your time saddling Glimmer as it’d been weeks since you were riding. You wanted to make sure you weren’t rusty for whoever your partner turned out to be. Glimmer looked happy to have the company in the pen this early, the dappling sun dancing around the paddock.

You were just releasing the cinches on the saddle when you felt the sound of footsteps making their way into the barn and then the heavy presence of someone behind you.

“Since when’re you back on patrols?”

Fuck. 

"Hi Miller,” you sigh. “And to answer your question, since yesterday.”

Joel watches you saddling up Glimmer, his dark brows furrowing. “But it ain’t your watch today.”

“It is starting this week,” you answer breezily, wishing he’d just go away and leave you alone.

You don’t want to be talking to Joel right now. Just the memory of how you threw yourself at him last time makes your cheeks burn.

"What the fuck... Why?"

“I wanted to try something new,” you lie, still not facing him.

You hear the sound of his boots dragging, his body warm behind you. You hate that your stomach jumps at his nearness. You hate that your body yearns for his despite everything that’s happened.

“Anway, I’m busy,” you tell him as you reach for Glimmer’s breast collar. 

You wait for Joel to turn around or to say something caustic. But instead you hear the sound of his feet drawing him closer to you. A feather light touch of his hand is at your shoulder, resting there. It compels you to stop what you’re doing and listen.

“I don’t want you to switch.”

His deep voice is soft and almost wounded. It makes your motions still and your head tilt to the side, about to respond.

Out of nowhere Glimmer rears back, sending you throwing yourself backwards in anticipation of a kick. Joel grabs her bridle, forcing her to still.

“Calm now, girl. C’mon, shhhh.”

 She gives a sharp whinny, settling almost immediately. Joel pats her muzzle, murmuring soothing words before making sure the flank cinch is tightened properly.

He turns to look over at you, confused to see you cowering beside the stable door. You’re on your knees, half bent and eyes squeezed shut. As he watches, you tilt forward as if you’re about to vomit and you let out  a low moan of what sounds like pain.

“Fuck.”

Joel rushes over to you, falling to his knees before you. “Are you hurt?”

"Just ... Just go away, Joel," you sputter before dropping to your knees. You need him to go away. You need the world to go away so you can get your bearings.

"Is it the ribs-"

"No!" You moan, feeling as the cold sensation grips your lower body. You let out another strangled noise, feeling like you heart is going to burst out of your chest. 

"My h-heart," you sputter.

You don't know how to say the words: this has happened before but no one has ever been here to witness it. And for some reason this morning's is so much worse than you remember the last one being. 

“I get these sometimes,” Joel explains, urging you to sit up and face him.  “It’s just panic. Take a minute and breathe.”

“I-I a-am b-b-breathing,” you managed to choke out, even as you feel your chest constrict. You feel frantic, like you’re going to explode if something doesn’t happen quickly. Joel recognizes the look and his hands move  to rest firmly on either side of your neck, forcing your eyes to his.

"Copy me. Inhale.... Exhale."

The panic is overwhelming, your entire body starting to break out in chills. You're scared and you grip onto Joel's shoulders as if he's a lifeboat and you're at sea. 

"Joel, I-"

"Breathe with me, baby," Joel instructs. You feel his thumbs on either side of your jaw, grounding you. "Are you listening? In... And out... Just like that. Yeah, good girl. Just like that."

You breathe in slowly, watching his mouth as it form a perfect little ‘o’ shape. You exhale along with him,

"In.... And out ..." 

His mouth. His perfect, pouty lips forming the words. The feeling is overwhelming, the desire to press your mouth to his is quickly edging out the panic you’d been feeling. He holds you in his strong palms and you feel boneless, his voice lulling you into a calm state. You gaze at him with glassy eyes.

"In... And out..." 

Joel is so worried that you're going to pass out. You've gone from hyperventilating to sudden slow and deep breaths. But after a few moments he thinks you must be in the clear.

"There you go," he murmurs, gaze lingering on your face. Your skin is so soft under his hands, your eyes meeting his with lowering lids.

You continue to stare at him, unable to find the right words. Joel smiles crookedly.

"Guess I know how to get you to listen to me now. Just gotta catch ya in the middle of a meltdown." 

He's trying to lighten the tension because your faces are so close to one another, he can feel the warmth of your breath huffing against his face. 

You want to press your mouth to his but he gently releases your face, leaning back to regard you. 

"Let's get you home. I-"

But you’re not moving from where you sit kneeling against him, your hands still on his shoulders.

"Why don't you visit me anymore?" 

Joel doesn’t know exactly how to respond to this. He can tell that you’re obviously stressed and he doesn’t want to add to it. But on the other hand he has no desire to keep anything from you.

"Didn't know we were friends enough to visit," Joel shrugs. 

"But you did the first few days," you reason, fingers digging into the warmth of his jacket. "The soup, the whiskey. Then that last time."

"You miss me or somethin'?" Joel teases lightly. 

"Yeah," you say in a voice so gentle it could have been a sigh. "I do miss you, Miller. The place feels good when you're around. Better than good, it feels right."

There. You've admitted it. No matter what happens at least you know you've shared how you feel with him. 

Joel stares at you for a long moment before he stands, suddenly overcome. You bring yourself to stand across from him, watching as he begins to pace in front of you, lower lip slightly protruding in thought.

"You know that night you got hurt?” Joel asks, darting a glance at you. “And I took you back to yours?"

"Obviously."

"You uh, you surprised me that night,” Joel confesses, his cheeks reddening. “You kissed me."

Your eyes blow wide. "What?"

"Yeah. You said a lot of stuff 'bout wanting to kiss me for a while and,” Joel licks his lips nervously. “You asked me to stay the night with you."

You're in total shock about this. You have no recollection except for waking up and being needlessly unkind to him due to the surprise of seeing him in your bed. You cover your face with your hands, humiliating overtaking you.

“Oh my – Joel I’m so sorry-“

“No, no nothing to be sorry for,” Joel says almost desperately. “I mean . . .I just. . .That’s why I was there when you woke up," Joel explains.

“Because I guilted you into it,” you moan, burying your face in your hands further. “And then I forced myself on you.”

“You didn’t force anythin’.”

You want to jump into a fit of infested bloaters if it means this conversation can be over. All this time you thought Joel liked you and it’s because he’s what? Embarassed that you threw yourself at him in a drugged episode?

You’re surprised when you feel his large hands overtaking yours, dragging them from your heating face. He looks so concerned, so nervous. It makes your heart pound. He holds your hand in his, thumbs absently trailing over the knuckles.

“I liked you kissing me. I liked being there with you when you woke up,” he finally confesses throatily. “I liked holding you. I like being around you. . . Even when you drive me crazy and you talk shit. I only like patrols ‘cuz you’re on ‘em with me. I don’t want you to swit-”

Before he can even finish his sentence you’ve jerked forward, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your mouth to his. Joel responds immediately, his lips slotting between yours instinctively as his arms go around you.

But then you feel him tense again and your body stills. Joel wants to kiss you back so badly his entire body goes up in flames. But all too soon he pushes you from him gently. 

"You don't actually want me," Joel tells you flatly, swallowing thickly. "It's the pills. Like last time." 

What?

“You get like this when you’ve taken the pill,” he explains. “Makes you more emotional or somethin’. I dunno. I just-“

"Joel I haven't taken a pill in weeks," you say, brows furrowed. "I haven't needed them."

Joel peers down into your face, uncertainty etched there. "Last time I came over to see you, those pills-"

"I hadn’t taken any that day."

"They were open.”

“I was counting to see how many were left. I wanted Gemma to know when she came by so she could use them in the pharmacy.”

Joel stares at you a long moment and you begin giggling nervously when you see his eyes darken.  Immediately his hands on either side of your face, pulling you into a searching kiss as you whimper. And just like in your bedroom he backs you against the wall, pressing his frame against yours.

He kisses you in the way he’s been aching to do since he last saw you, teeth clacking in over-eager need, tongues and grunts and your hands fisting in his hair, needing all of each other. His knee goes between your thighs and you rest there, hips grinding.

"Fuck, I wanna do so much with you," Joel rasps against your jaw, planting sloppy kisses there. His teeth graze your pulsepoint and he groans when he feels your body trembling against him, your pelvis canting towards his.

"Do it," you beg brokenly. "Please, do it."

You want his hands and mouth everywhere on your body and he wants you in his bed right this fucking instant, but he feels how you move in his arms, still slightly stiff from your injury.

"Not until you're officially all healed up," Joel murmurs amazed that you’re here in his arms. "Can't risk it." 

"You think pretty highly of yourself, Miller," you tease, grinning broadly when he does.  

"Not Miller," he says giving you a full-lipped kiss as he circles your waist gently with his arms. "Not when I'm lovin' on you."

You grin up at him, feeling your eyes water at the sincerity in his expression. You run your hand through his greying curls; your thumb gently tracing over his cheek. 

"Alright then," you whisper. “Kiss me again, Joel."

[fungal-rot]

Something In The Orange

‘To you, I’m just a man. To me, you’re all I am, where the hell am I supposed to go?’

pairing: joel x reader

summary: joel has finally managed to push you away. his past continues to follow him.

warnings: ANGST (no comfort), DARK THEMES (implied SA attempt- from other people, not Joel- hint of dark!Joel), allusions to smut (just a memory, not really descriptive), joel drinks alcohol to cope, no description of reader. please let me know if i forgot anything!

w.c.: 1.5k

⁺˚°｡⋆♱✮˖☽𓋼𓍊◯𓍊𓋼☾˖✮♱⋆｡°˚⁺

     Joel sat on the stained mattress, unmoving, with his head hung low, body hunched over, and hands loosely clasped in his lap while he stared at the bruises and cracks on his knuckles with disgust. The room filled with deep embers of the rising sun, a sight most would find comforting or romantic, but not him, not this time. No, it was just another bitter reminder of what he once had.

He wanted to leave and start walking however far his old knees would carry him. Yet, he couldn't get himself to move. Too many memories were stored in every nook and cranny of this dilapidated house, memories shared with you. Tears pricked his eyes as he lifted his head, gaze flicking around and studying every square inch of the place. Like to the cobwebs you were insistent on keeping away, regathered in the corners of the ceiling and tinted gray with dust. Or to the flowers you plucked from the overgrown yard, now sagging solemnly in a mason jar atop the dresser.

It's too quiet.

He abruptly stood from the bed, joints crackling in harmony with the squeak of the rust-covered springs. Each heavy step of his boots hitting against the hardwood floor seemed to reverberate off the walls, a telltale sign of how alone he truly was.

Joel paused as he entered the living room, but could he really call it that when there was no trace of life anymore?

It's too empty.

He swiveled on his heels and marched towards the door, nabbing the half-drank bottle of whiskey on the end table.

Joel sat on the porch steps, tilting his head back with the bottle pressed to his lips and gulping down the amber liquid, welcoming the burn in his chest with a subtle wince. It seemed that was all he was good for anymore, inflicting pain whether it was directed at others or himself. A palm pressed to his forehead, elbow propped on his thigh, he leaned against the framing of the rail, hoping that maybe the events from the days prior were all just another one of his countless nightmares. Any minute now, he'd see that beautiful face of yours appearing from behind the trees, greeting him with open arms and that warm smile you'd always wear just for him.

Something in the orange tells him you're not done.

As the empty shell of a man sat there, his attention shifted to the markings hidden under his heel. His foot scooted inward, and the corner of his mouth twitched up only for a second as he sat his whiskey down and traced a finger over the scratching of his and your initials in the wood.

He remembered that day vividly.

For three long weeks, the two of you trekked the woods without actual shelter; but off in the distance, you spotted an old house and took off in a flash with Joel following close behind as he hollered after you.

After Joel checked the perimeter, ensuring there weren't any infected or raiders, you sat down on the porch steps with a soft grunt and pulled out your pocket knife, carefully carving your initials into the cracked planks.

You hand the knife to Joel with an eager gaze; the gruff man stands there with his arms folded over his chest, eyeing you with a light-hearted, pinched expression. You motioned the handle to him again, brows waggling slightly with a lopsided, toothy grin.

His arms fell to his sides with a sag of his posture, then he snatched the knife from your hand and sat next to you, etching his initials under yours.

'It's home now,' You told him.

Was home.

A week later, you were folding clothes on the couch and humming quietly; it seemed silly, sure. Worrying about wrinkle-free laundry amidst the apocalypse, but there was a sense of normalcy behind it. And with the area being quiet for seven days straight, you found peace. Joel had felt it, too. All he knew for the last decade was surviving and not living. So now that he had a chance to live again, well, maybe it wasn't all so bad. Perhaps you were the one who helped him see that; you always were good at keeping him grounded. It's like all the weight that accumulated atop his shoulders had finally lifted. He didn't need anything else as long as you were by his side.

He sauntered up behind you, thick arms coming over your shoulders as he pressed a delicate kiss to your cheek, making your shoulders rise while you grasped one of his hands, thumb brushing over a knuckle. One thing led to another: Mouths feed off each other, share a breath, and let passion take over while you embrace each other in a horizontal dance, bodies pressed closely together with hands gripping and pulling in the guidance of transferred intimacy before falling asleep in the other's arms, legs tangled together. Morning followed, and the two of you watched the sunrise from the solace of the blankets.

Joel wants to go back to that.

Two months later, while preparing a stew for lunch and waiting for Joel to return from the woods, a hand slaps over your mouth and pulls you back. The spoon in your grasp clatters to the floor, and you flail around, elbowing the body behind you and clawing at the hand you didn't recognize. From what you gathered based on the low, rumbling laugh emanating out of their chest, it was a man. And it certainly wasn't Joel. Then, another man slinked out from the corner, eyes narrowed and raking over your figure with a malicious, open-mouthed smirk.

“We came here to see if we’d find anything good to eat,” he calmly explained as he inched closer and closer to you.

“Didn’t think we’d get a prize at the bottom of the box, too.”

Before you knew it, you were pinned to the ground, arms tight behind your back, and face pressed into the cold floor. You yelled and thrashed about, struggling against the weight leering over you. The second man looked at you with a mock look of sympathy, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout before kneeling. His finger, caked with dirt and grime, gently brushed your cheek, making you recoil in disgust.

Joel shook his head at the memory.

He had heard your bloodcurdling yell, screaming out his name, and in an instant, he dropped everything and sprinted back to the house with his gun unholstered. The door swung open, slamming against the wall with great force, causing the knob to leave a dent in the vinyl. All he saw was you, pinned and helpless, with tears spilling from the corners of your eyes and another man with his belt undone. He didn't have to think about what he’d do next.

Did he take it too far? No, not in his mind.

You had heard of the Joel who gave his brother nightmares, the man who was ruthless, cold, and unforgiving. However, you didn't think you'd see it. Your knees were hugged to your chest, lips parted with shaky breaths as you stared wide-eyed at the tall, brooding man.

The adrenaline wore off, and he dropped the knife he didn't even remember grabbing. It fell to the ground with a thud, muted by a pool of crimson on the flooring, the wood stained with a different finish. He looked at you, saw the apprehension in your eyes, and that's when he looked down at himself and noticed the blood that soaked his hands and freckled the fabric of his clothes.

“Baby,” he hushed out and moved to console you, but you backed yourself further into the low cupboards with a flinch.

You've never flinched at him.

His heart dropped deep into his stomach, and he carefully retreated, not wanting to scare you further. Joel looked away, down at the bodies that were no longer identifiable. Faces bashed in by his own bare hands; his fists clenched, and he was now painfully aware of the sharp pain in his knuckles. He moved again, just a simple shift of his feet, and you let out a startled, choked whimper. That's when it truly sank in. You were scared of him, and he couldn't lie; it fucking hurt. But hell, he couldn't blame you for it.

Sometimes, he was scared of himself, too.

Joel would never forget how you looked at him. Like he were some wild animal, no better than the infected and somehow worse than the raiders. Maybe he wasn't any better. Maybe he was worse. Joel knows he's not a good man. When the time comes, he will be sitting directly on Satan’s lap, paying for his sins.

Old habits die hard, he supposed.

So now here he sat, a week after you left, finishing the dregs of his bottle as he watched the sky's orange begin to lighten. His lip curled, and he sucked air through his teeth before glancing down at his injured hands once more, flexing his fingers. Joel rose from the porch and went back inside, grabbing his bag and tentatively slinging it over his shoulder. When he stood out in the yard, he took one last look at the sky and exhaled a heavy sigh before returning to the woods, trying to erase you from his mind.

Something in the orange tells him you're never coming home.

⁺˚°｡⋆♱✮˖☽𓋼𓍊◯𓍊𓋼☾˖✮♱⋆｡°˚⁺

i’ve had this idea (and like three others) stewing in my head forever now (none of them are happy). in case you haven’t heard this song and would like to get your heartbroken like i did the first time i heard it, have at it! now we can cry and think about joel together <3

as always, if you enjoyed this fic and like to pass your sorrows on to someone else, give this a reblog and/or tell me your thoughts! i love feedback and haven’t wrote angst like this in a hot minute lol.

[undercoverpena]

hiding in a car with joel miller

joel miller x reader (post outbreak) wc: under 1k. warnings: words strung into sentences that somehow feel pretty. written on phone, not edited.

it's been the same for what feels like a lifetime. hunkered down, trapped inside an abandoned car with joel, riding out a storm that impedes your journey.

heavy raindrops continue to pelt the roof, not making a dent in the green muck that clogs the roof window. the air hangs heavy, thick, rich with the mustiness of neglect, each breath a tangy reminder of years spent untouched.

damp and clinging, both of your clothes emit a musty fust as they slowly dry against skin, blending with the atmosphere. In another world, you'd recoil at the scent, turn your nose up at it. but here, in this one, it's oddly bearable. you've smelled worse things, after all.

you shoot him a teasing smirk, suggesting you know ways the two of you can dry off, hell, even get warm. but he responds with a glare. his lip in a thin line, jaw tight and eyes sharp.

it's then you spot the open cut on his cheek. one likely made from a passing branch when the clouds opened and the heavens cracked. it's an impulse, to reach your finger out and stroke against it; to coat your skin and print in scarlet, crimson—all tacky between your index and thumb. tapping both fingers together repeatedly until he takes your wrist and forces you to wipe it on his shirt.

to stain him. mark his clothes in a way

holding his gaze, you wait for him to blink. one second, then two, and then three.

neither bending, neither of you wish to.

your mouth about to open and unfurl more snarkiness at the same time as a particular pelt of rain, the car groans as he shifts his weight. his movements, quick, measured, able to knock something to force the back of your chair to lie flat as you go back with it.

but joel swallows your yelp, pressing warm but salty lips to yours as his body lies heavy on yours.

and you don't hate it.

just like you don't hate the rain either.

an: no one ask what this was, it was a thought that was eroding me.

[paigegonerogue]

TLOU Headcannon:

Once, Joel was taking Sarah home from one of her soccer games and they were stopped in the parking lot by one of her teammates and her mom. Sarah and her teammate start talking about the game and stuff and Joel and the teammates’ mom make polite parent conversation. Eventually though, the woman asks “are you single?” Sarah and her friends’ conversation grinds to a halt as they both look over at them.

Years later Joel never knew where this came from, but he just nodded sadly and went “As of recently.” Then he placed a hand on his heart and looked up at the sky and said “rest in peace, Julia.”

The mom and her teammate excuse themselves with the haste of people who just realized one of them is flirting with a recently widowed person. But once they’re out of earshot, Joel and Sarah burst out laughing.

Sarah’s mom is still very much alive, and her name isn’t even Julia. For years afterwards, Sarah teases him about it relentlessly, which only gets worse when Tommy hears the story. “Dad’s dead wife Julia” becomes a common phrase in their household from then on.

After the outbreak, Tommy made that joke just once, desperate to see some glimmer of the old Joel. But he just shook his head and turned away.

When they’re in Jackson, Joel brings it up at dinner and Ellie goes “Joel, you have a dead wife?!” And he and Tommy burst out laughing. And Tommy has to take a second because god, Joel’s dead wife Julia means more to him than he ever realized.

[elliespuns]

your HBO Ellie posts made me realize something in tlou fics recently. And I'm sure it's because of the personality that Ellie has in the show, it's that almost every fic is more focused on Ellie being the one who is openly aggressive with Joel at first because of her trauma at the FEDRA school (also now 90% of the Ellie angst fics are focused on that theme). Which is interesting because if you compare it to most of tlou's fics before the show, Joel is the more hostile of the two at first.

So idk, I don't like that HBO made that big personality change because it's notable how the fandom's perception in general has changed about what Ellie's personality is like, with her being openly much more aggressive and rude and the beginning of the story. And it makes her relationship with Joel and her development less interesting.

Sweet Jesus, yes! That's what I always thought. 

They made Ellie so bratty and hostile towards Joel that it was neither funny nor natural for the dynamic they were in the middle of making. The original Ellie has never been "hostile" towards Joel; you could actually notice how meek she was once he said his last word—she was always ready to listen and obey—even if she had her own opinions and made sure to say what was bothering her (as when she saved his life and he was being an ass and she wasn't having it!). Even after all this, she'd still do as told when it came to the old man because she knew it wasn't easy on him either. That's what I've always loved and admired about the game Ellie the most. She is emotionally intelligent, and she acts accordingly.

Unlike show Ellie, who was really just being a pain in the ass to Joel, because she was trying to act tough. Which again brings me to game Ellie, who of course didn't even have to act like it because she showed us how tough she was when the situation called for it—not with words but with actions.

And I get it. Ellie in the show couldn't show us because the creators literally banished all the important scenes Ellie and Joel had where Ellie could show her bravery in her character and devotion for Joel's character.

It sucks so much because everything that hasn't happened in the show affects everything about Ellie and Joel's relationship, and it doesn't do its justice. Like sorry, you know I appreciate the show, and I can even say I love it at some point, but they really messed up with Ellie. I always disliked what they did to her unique, original character.

[gingy7891]

Pedro Pascal on the set of ‘Materialists’

😍

[mybworlds]

Chapter 2: The Wedding

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader (no use of Y/N) | Rating: 18+ Minors DNI | W.C.: 2.8k

Summary: Your life sounds perfect: you live with a perfect man, you live in your dream house, you do the job you love, you don't miss anything, except love and passion.

Warnings: no use of Y/N, use of you, reader is a photographer, reader has no physical descriptions except hair (no type or color) long enough to hold on to, unspecified age gap, Joel and reader are two cheaters, for a while. Smut, use of pet names, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected PiV but the first time, creampies, comeplay, oral (both f and m recieving), exhibitionism, size kink, personal use of an unspecified sex toy. No outbreak here. Let me know if I missed anything!

Before to leave, thank you for your likes and reblogs ❤️🫶

Masterlist

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Thx for the dividers @saradika-graphics

Taglist @harriedandharassed

Saturday is a thankfully sunny, warm day. The bride and groom are celebrating their wedding at Fire Island National Seashore, it's two hours away from New York City, but at least they're paying you an extra to enjoy a wonderful place like that and they've even paid a hotel room since they've already announced the event won't end until 1:00 am. That's fine for you, I mean not that you had anything else to do since Patrick told you he would be out for the weekend for business purposes. I mean, you are also out for work and therefore it is okay.

The bride and groom are two very handsome guys, you can tell they are in love, happy. You take a lot of wonderful shots and you can't help but be happy about it because you know that, when they will receive their pictures, they can't help but be thrilled as they remember that wonderful day with a big smile and watery eyes. You also take some shots of the guests, the location, the wedding arch, the venue, everything is wonderful.

At some point in taking shots, you realize that you have also framed someone you never thought you would see there again which is the mysterious and charming stranger from the bar, you don't exactly know how to behave as you didn't leave each other in a very civil manner, in fact you almost had a hysterical reaction. Maybe this is the right opportunity to apologize for your behavior or maybe you can pretend you didn't see him!

You decide to ignore him and continue working, too bad the stranger turns out to be the groom's best man and therefore you necessarily have to take a picture of him as well the moment the ceremony almost ended, so you can't ignore him anymore. You wonder why you are behaving this way, it is absurd, he is a guy like any other why are you avoiding him?

The wedding party is wonderful, organized down to the smallest detail with a lot of care, you photograph everything and then you make sure to choose the best shots, you will propose therefore to the bride and groom and make a nice digital and paper photo montage if they want it; even the food is great, everything is beautiful, but there is that persistent discomfort you feel toward the stranger. Evening comes and you're still walking around with your beloved camera attached to your neck and your finger ready to shoot, people are dancing, drinking, having fun, you're smiling too. It is impossible not to smile at such an event.

Suddenly, however, someone pushes you and you to prevent your camera from breaking, you turn around suddenly falling backwards, some people look at you, someone laughs and then someone offers you his hand to help you get up, a hand which you immediately grasp as you stand up, when you look up at this someone who extended his hand, you realize that it was the stranger who helped you. Your eyes meet again and this time you have a chance to observe his dark brown eyes, this time you feel like a thrill running through your body, “Well, we bump into each other again!” the stranger exclaims with a smile.

“Yes, sort of.” you say in an evasive tone and immediately you let go of his hand to look at your camera that is not broken or is still working.

“Nice shot!” the man exclaims looking at the screen of your camera, the subject of your shot is him, but it was an involuntary shot this one due to the fall.

“Um… well, this was not an intentional shot.” you admit looking at the small monitor ‘I've taken better ones.’ you add as you look up at him. He nods, “'m I in the pictures too?” he asks you.

“Of course, you're the best man!” you exclaim, lowering your gaze and clearing your throat.

“Can I get you a drink?” the stranger asks you, “Oh, forgive me! 'm Joel,” he introduces himself by extending his hand to you, you look first at him and then at his hand, which you shake by introducing yourself in turn. He smiles, “Would you like to?” you nod “Well, then this way.” he adds making a hand gesture in following him.

You have a drink, actually more than one, and your initial awkwardness toward the stranger begins to give way to curiosity and a desire to get to know him, no longer escaping him, and only then do you notice his strong southern drawl. You are sitting on one of those two-seater hanging garden chairs, “How d' you know the groom, Joel?” you ask him, sipping another glass of champagne.

“We were friends in our school days, even though we've taken different paths we remained close friends, y' know, we have dinners once or twice a week, barbecues and things like that,” he tells you.

“You look like the barbecue guy,” you say smiling at him.

He smiles shaking his head, “Yeah, huh?”

You nod smilingly, “Well,” you place your glass on the lawn next to the small chair, “I bet I can tell who you are by looking at your hands.” you add looking into his eyes.

He gives you a small grin that causes a wrinkle to appear at the side of his mouth “All right,” he agrees, stretching his hands out, which you grab this time. He has very large hands, big calloused fingers “Judging by your calloused fingers I'd say you play,” you smile at him “guitar?”

“Yes, you guessed it right.” he replies wrinkling his forehead in an amused expression “What else?”

“Well, from the little cuts and scratches I'd say you do a manual work, am I right?” you ask again smiling at him and this time seeking his gaze without avoiding his dark eyes.

“You sure we haven't met before?” he asks smiling at you.

You shake your head smiling again, “Yeah, I'm sure.” you reply “I meet a lot of people in my job, I would have remembered.” you add.

“And why is that?” he asks you slightly losing his smile.

“I don't know,” you reply shrugging your shoulders “some people stick in my mind, I don't even know why.” you add “Well, we were talking about your work, so I guessed right?” you press him.

“Yes, I run a small construction company where I work myself.” you smile “I didn't think my hands said so much about me!” the man exclaims with an amused air.

“Yes, you knows the length of our nails, the nail polish we choose…. It's fun, it's a way of getting to know each other without saying so much.”

“I like that, what 'bout you?” Joel asks by reversing the positions of your hands, “What you think your hands can tell me 'bout you?” you observe how small they are compared to his.

“I don't think they say much,” you answer in a whisper, “Well, maybe there is one thing-- I'm sorry about the reaction the other day. I had some thoughts and I reacted very badly.” you add tightening your lips and looking him in the eye "Sorry, I'm not usually like that."

“So how'd ya?” he presses, sustaining your gaze.

“I'm a photographer, I'm widely satisfied with my job,” you start to answer looking at your hands in his own.

“No, no, no.” he interrupts you making you look up “You, not your job. Who are ya?”

Breathing deeply, not knowing what to answer, you tighten your lips.

“D' ya wanna me to tell you?” he presses you again, you look at him surprised and he continues “You are a person deeply in love with your job to such an extent that you confuse the professional with the person.”

“Now you are also a psychologist!” you exclaim, shaking your head.

“And you're getting angry because I get the point, aren't ya?”

“You had to be a psychologist!” you retort making to release your hands from his grip, but he is quicker because he doesn't let you free to get up and walk away “Let go of me or I'll scream.” you say in a timid whisper.

“Honey, everyone is inebriated. Maybe the only ones left sober are just you and me.” Joel promptly retorts, “Why are you so afraid that someone might read you?” he adds as he gets too close to your face and pulls your hands up to his chest level, in that position he almost seems to want to engulf you, and a strange feeling makes its way inside you.

Fortunately, or unfortunately you don't know, your phone rings and he is forced to let you go, you take the opportunity to get up and take a few steps away from him, it's Patrick.

“Hey,” you say almost out of breath.

“Hi babe, everything okay? What's taking so long to answer?” he asks you.

“Um… it only rang twice,” you reply wrinkling your forehead.

“Really?! Well, it seemed so much more! Whatever, it doesn't matter, the important thing is that you answered. How's the wedding going?”

“Good, there are a lot of interesting people here,” you reply, striving to maintain a neutral tone.

“Are you very tired?”

“No, no,” you reply simply.

“Honey, I hear you a little tired, maybe you should rest,” Patrick says thoughtfully.

“Yeah, I'll go in a little while, 'm almost at the cake cutting and then I'm going to sleep.”

“All right, text me as soon as you're in the room. I'm already in bed, so I'll find your message in the morning. Love you, baby.”

“A kiss.” you interrupt the call with a half-smile.

“Who was the nursemaid?” Joel interjects coming up behind you smiling provokingly.

“No.”

“Was mom checking to see if you answered?” he urges.

“No, it was-- never mind.” you reply shaking your head and putting the phone back in your pocket “We should get back to the party.” you add turning your back on him.

“Sure, go ahead and hide behind your camera.” he chides you, you roll your eyes, but decide not to respond to his provocation.

Soon the ceremony ends with the cutting of the cake and the distribution of the wedding favors, you don't fail to take pictures of the bride and groom, the cake, the groomsmen, the fireworks organized by the groom's relatives, the wedding arch, and then the photo of all the ceremony participants with the newlywed couple. Now your evening's work is truly over, it's time to go to bed.

When you are finally at the hallway where your room is, you are joined by Joel who passes you by half a step “Oh, but look we have rooms next to each other!” he exclaims.

"Oh, cool," you say rolling your eyes using a bored tone of voice.

"You snore?" he says raising an eyebrown with a little smirk on his lips.

You roll your eyes “Are you an irritating guy or is this a behavior you reserve only with those you don't like?”

Joel reconsiders and turns back to you, “Actually it's an attitude I have only toward those I like, and you intrigue me quite a bit.” he responds by placing a hand on your bedroom door as you look into his eyes feeling almost engulfed by his figure again.

“Maybe this pick up technique works with others, but not with me,” you retort, but his strong scent of cologne and whiskey is beginning to envelop your senses making your head almost spin.

“Shall we bet?” he asks you.

“What?” you retort, but he surprises you by kissing you on the lips “No!” you exclaim by shirking and slapping him across the face “Don't do that again.” you add in a trembling voice.

He in response, kisses you again, you suddenly lean your head against the door and make to push him away, but he takes your hands pinning them between his without stopping kissing you, it is a sweet kiss, but one that stuns you completely. No one, not even Patrick, has ever kissed you like this first passionately then slowly, languidly. His tongue gently caresses your lower lip and even this gesture causes shivers down your spine and an strange desire reverberates inside you. He almost crushes you against the door without ever detaching his lips from yours, it is only now that you feel all his power, a languid pleasure growing inside you.

You cannot, you must not give in.

“Joel…” you say pulling away from his lips and turning your head to the side “We can't.”

You feel ridiculous, you certainly can't.

“Why? We're two full-grown adults,” he retorts.

“I don't like you.” you reply quickly “And now get out of my way.” you add quickly pushing him away getting him taking two steps back, then you swipe your card to enter the room and before he can reply, you close the door. You lean against it and hear a few moments later the opening and closing of another door, a sign that Joel left.

You slide against the door, it is not true you don't like him, he is a very attractive man, his hands firmly holding yours, his body crushing you, you breathe deeply, luckily you brought your sex toy with you which loosens that strange worrying languor that had made its way into you, but the closer you find yourself to the climax the more the image of your man fades to be replaced by that of man definitely older than him, with a strong southern drawl, a strong scent of whiskey and cologne, it can't be that you are imagining this stranger whispering profane words in your ear, you can't-- and yet your mind is playing this nasty trick on you by making you come violently, you barely manage to stifle a scream of pleasure, afterwards you throw the sex toy across the bed and stay with your legs spread apart and your head abandoned on the pillow, not even when you are alone at home have you ever come like this. You are really out of your mind, you'd better sleep!

The night passes agitatedly, from the beginning you stared at the ceiling for a long time with your eyes wide open and then you hear outside the ocean kissing the shore several times, then you turned over several times from side to side, slept, but then woke up again and fell asleep only to wake up again. The birdsong that morning is almost a panacea for you, you can get up and occupy your mind with other thoughts, you look out and see that the sky is dotted with dense, dark clouds, a sign that it is going to rain and that you need to leave as soon as possible, you immediately call Patrick apologizing for not calling him last night, but you tell him that you collapsed because of a severe migraine, but you are better now. You also warn him that you will be back in the late afternoon, he also returns in the evening, he tells you, then you say goodbye and hang up. You think you told him a lie it is true, but after all it is a tiny white lie.

When you come down with your small bag, you see in the distance the bride and groom who are having breakfast, they look dreamy and happy, when they see you they greet you warmly and then warn you that they will come to the store to see their full photoshoot. You bid farewell with a big smile and good luck of much serenity and happiness. The wind is also quite strong, a sign that you really need to hurry up and leave or you'll be stuck there. You open the car and put your luggage in the passenger seat, close the door and then go to the driver's side, you start the car, but the car won't start, “Fuck.” you blurt “Start, come on, move.” you mumble still trying to start the engine again. Nothing.

“Maybe it's a battery problem.” says a voice outside the car, it's Joel, leaning against the door of your car “G' morning.” he greets you.

You place your head against the headrest, then turn back to him “Do you have any solutions, genius?”

“Either it's the battery or maybe it's a problem with the battery terminals.” he replies to you as he walks over to the hood “Open up let's see if everything is properly connected.” he continues.

“I thought you worked in the company, not as a mechanic.” you reply by raising the lever so he can look in the hood, then get out of the car.

“Indeed, but my brother's car never starts so on more than one occasion I helped him.” he tells you as he props the hood of the car against the hook “Everything looks fine to me, my brother's car usually is a problem with the cooling system or the solenoid, but here…” he comments aloud as he continues to touch the engine parts.

“Please stop touching, I don't want you to break it!” you exclaim nervously getting out of the car and approaching him.

“Don't worry,” he looks into your eyes for a moment, “I've never broken anything and I'm not going to start with you, honey.”

“Can you tell why from the first moment you saw me you call me that?” you ask him, crossing your arms under your breasts.

“If you mind, I have many other petnames I can give ya.” you shake your head “Shall we have breakfast? I'm starving.” he continues, you are about to say no, but he adds again "I can take you, but I'd like to eat first."

“Actually…” you're about to say.

“I promise I won't kiss you,” he says again, raising his hands in surrender with a small smile.

You smile too, “It's not that, it's…” you say, but you don't know how to go on and so you tighten your lips while scratching your forehead in a nervous gesture “I don't know.”

You are totally losing your self-control, you don't know why this stranger is causing you these reactions, why he makes you feel so attracted to him and at the same time why you almost want to run away from him. Interrupting that stream of thought, there is a first flash of lightning followed by a clap of thunder, Joel calls out to you laying a hand on your shoulder “Let's think about your car later, in the meantime let's go back inside and wait for it to pass,” he says, as a first drop of rain begins to fall, you reluctantly pick up your luggage, Joel does the same, and head back to the hotel.

[pedro-pascal]

a message from Rahul Kohli 

[mdawgswizzleinthehizzle]

bella in the background 🥺😭

[billy-crudup]

THE LAST OF US TV show 1.06 “Kin” | video game

[lovebugism]

the "you're cargo" to "it's okay, babygirl" to "it wasn't time that did it" pipeline goes so fucking crazy bro

[fungal-rot]

Fungal-Rot’s Masterlist

⁺˚°｡⋆♱✮˖☽𓋼𓍊◯𓍊𓋼☾˖✮♱⋆｡°˚⁺

look what i finally made haha (i figured out how to do the link in text thingy)

Joel Miller

Sweet, Domestic Life💘

Daddy’s Girl💘

How I Think Joel Would Kiss You💘

Lazy Mornings❤️‍🔥💘

Pure Instinct (Surrender)❤️‍🔥

Save A Horse, Yadda, Yadda…❤️‍🔥

Something In The Orange💔

Frankie Morales

Frankie as your bf would include…❤️‍🔥💘

Javier Peña

Cherry Red ❤️‍🔥

[minacoleta]

We all just become shades of grey

[dreametheworld]