#The hyperfocus has taken me

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Okay I figured out where I was in the book, so I'm reading it on my ipad and here is everything I was excited about while I was reading before bed and while getting ready for work this morning:

Ingtar's shock over Rand having invitations to parties from Barthanes and Galldrian. "What have you been doing?" And Rand's, "Nothing." And really it's just that nobles are insane and him throwing invitations into the fire is like catnip to them.

"He was not the old Rand - he seemed to have grown into that fancy coat; it looked right on him now - but he was still the boy Perrin had grown up with. Shadowkiller: A man the wolves hold in awe."

VERIN. "'Beyond that, look them in the eye and speak firmly. The way you have been talking to me,' she added dryly, and Rand's cheeks colored, but he did not drop his eyes." Basically just Rand being dragged into being a lord against his will. Ta'veren bullshit is my favorite plot device actually.

Rand still responding with the answers Lan coached him on earlier in the book.

Also Thom just casually saying things like, "I'm only an old gleeman. Who could I possibly be dangerous to?" While thinking, And Rand al'Thor is only a shepherd, but we both do what we must.

[energysoda]

I wanna write the script for the FNAF movie so bad I have so many ideas, I could even edit the film too please hire me it would be so cool like I'd make it about the Afton family god please give me a chance please I want this so bad

[solspurv]

i spent the entire day reading witch hat atelier up to its latest update

[doublel27]

We Are: Queer Found Family and Romance

Or the meta I didn’t intend to write.

It’s taken 9 eps (of me admittedly watching We Are through gifs and clips on Twitter, because I have yet to pay for iQIYI and I am bad at grey watching) but I think I have figured out the central conflict/plot of We Are and why the mostly linear narrative of Phum and Peem with the in media res relationships of our other three pairings made this impossible to fully tease out until we got all the pieces.

The through line that connects all of these stories about how incredibly hard it can be to be part of a queer friend group when the lines of friendship and romance blur, especially when there’s a real aspect of found family to that group.

Two things really cemented it for me this week: Tan telling the gang (and therefore the audience) the full scope of his background with Fang, as well as the beginning of Phuwin’s IG live where he talks about why he likes Kluen as a character is that he’s very direct with people he likes and isn’t blurring the lines between friends and possibly fucking up the friendship.

Because that’s the central problem that all four main couples of the show grapple with in different ways. I’m gonna get into all of that under the cut.

I’m going to start with Tan and Fang because aou contains multitudes and is my beloved while going for Fang could have always messed up his relationship with Phum, we find out in episode 9 that Tan met Fang first. Unsurprisingly, it’s not a great first meeting between what are seemingly two known fighters of what appear to be rival high schools. But then Tan finds Phum and Fang being jumped by a group from his own high school and saves them and eventually becomes friends with them sometime two years+ before the start of our story. Within this time, Tan falls so far in love with Fang, who can both out bitch and out fight, him that Tan goes full simp instead and cuts out the fighting(love that for him).

And mixing his reveal to his friends of how he met Fang and how Fang eventually consumed his waking thoughts to the point he would wish to order Fang as a pizza topping (my love for Tan is immeasurable).

But take us back to episode 2 (which is now on YouTube for US watchers for how long I don’t know) and Tan has clearly not seen Fang in awhile. He asks Phum to invite Fang out where Tan will happen to be. At the time, it was taken as Tan and Phum are university friends and Tan and been obsessed with Fang ever since and needs Phum to make the connections. But the clues that Tan and Fang were also close were already laid down. Their exchange goes:

Tan: Hey. It’s been awhile. Right?

Fang: I thought you were dead.

Tan: Come on. I haven’t seen you in ages either. (That’s the English translation, but the flow of the conversation connotes that Fang hasn’t sought him out either)

At which point Phum makes the face he always makes when Tan is in Fang hyperfocus mode of looking away and sighing. And Fang pointedly asks why Phum invited him out and what is going on.

Which is a weird exchange when you think Tan is Phum’s friend who is obsessed with Fang. It is a less weird exchange between friends that have been avoiding each other for an unspecified amount of time. And we can assume Tan started avoiding Fang because he was madly in love with him and didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t tell Fang why he was avoiding him.

In the episode 9 speech to his friends, Tan outlines that he didn’t think Fang would ever reciprocate his feelings (that it was impossible) and didn’t want to fuck with the friendship (at which point Pun sends a longing look to Chain but we’ll get back to that later) with Fang and Phum and he buried it. Until he couldn’t live with it any longer and decided to do something about it.

Which with the limited information we have, his feelings were already fucking with his friendship. He already didn’t know how to approach Fang because of his feelings at the start of the show, so is it better to not try and hope the romantic feeling dies while avoiding your friend or shoot your shot and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or maybe continue to fuck up your friendship. Tan chooses to roll the dice and it’s clear from the moment they leave the bar in episode two that Fang likes him back.

They both watch each other when they think the other isn’t looking. Fang is the one who sends Phum and Peem home together and sets himself up with a taxi ride with Tan. It’s particularly interesting to me after episode 9, this exchange, because Fang looks at a passed out Peem, mouths Peem? And proceeds to ask Phum if this is the guy that hit him while Tan snickers and Peem looks like the saddest wet cat. It’s only after the affirmative from Phum that Fang is essentially like “well, you can take him home Phum. Take home your drunk friend who hit you and I will go home with Tan.” Which our besotted Tan jumps at.

And considering the parallel between Tan and Fang meeting and Tan immediately sassing him and Fang throwing a punch leading to a fight, and Phum ruining Peem’s painting which led to mutual sassing and a kick to the nuts and a fight…I don’t know if Fang is a mastermind and connected the dots because these brothers need someone who will occasionally not be afraid talk back if need be and sees the potential for Phum to care as much about Peem as Fang does for Tan. Or if he just wants time alone with Tan and doesn’t see it. Look, I wouldn’t be surprised if Fang is secretly a long game mastermind.

Once they’re alone, Tan and Fang steal glances and flirt in the way that Tan makes very loud attempts at flirting and

Additionally, Fang is reserved like Phum, and seemingly as isolated as his only friends seem to be Phum’s friends. We don’t know if he is just not paying attention to other members of the architecture faculty or knows stuff about Kluen he won’t share. As previous parts of this narrative are folded in later episodes, we may find out. What we do know is he’s either ever only appeared alone or in connection to Tan and Phum and Phum’s friends. Even with the flashbacks, Tan points out that the head of the Fang, head of cheer club, approaches him alone and later it’s just Fang and Phum when Tan finds the group of guys jumping them. We know he and Phum adopt Toey who is bullied in high school. It makes sense why he’s potentially reserved about pushing things with Tan if Tan becomes his first real high school+ friend that he has outside of his brother.

Which is why by the time we get to episode 5, Fang says yes before Tan finishes talking. He’s been waiting but also wasn’t willing to be the first to put himself out there. And considering how much Fang and Phum seem to live in their heads and not in the world with everyone else, I can see why he needed Tan to be the one to commit to it first, especially with Fang’s later comments about not understanding why hanging out with him is a preference of Tan’s. I do hope we cross his “don’t tell tan how gone I am on him” bridge later in the narrative. Cause I think Tan knows, but also it’s nice to hear.

Let’s go back to another long-suffering pair where only one half really knew why they were suffering, and the other got a nasty shock, QToey.

I know the guys are all team if Toey loves Q and Q loves Toey then why is Q so hesitant? And I get it, but let’s talk about the double shock Q suffered and the potential layers of risk Q is facing.

It’s not just that Q is cautious with his heart. That is a factual truth. It’s why he ghosted Milk Frappe Boy, because while he fell in love with Milk Frappe Boy I think there was a deep worry, and a self esteem issue that the reality of Q, instead of Pencil Senior, would not be enough for Milk Frappe boy. So Q bolted and then deeply regretted said bolting enough say so to both Toey, not knowing the truth, and to Peem.

But the fact that he learned that Toey was indeed Milk Frappe boy at the same time he learned all of his best friends, his family for all intents and purposes, also knew and no one told him. And the way the confrontation is staged between Q and Toey, it is Q against Toey and everyone else is behind Toey.

And that, friends, that’s the real third rail for Q.

It’s one thing to know that he loved Milk Frappe Boy and that he loves Toey. And that is scary enough. The fandom loves to joke about how Toey is everyone’s little brother and they’ve all adopted him: and that is a correct assessment. But that means if Q fucks it up with Toey, he stands a chance in his mind of everyone else choosing Toey over him.

That fear doesn’t even feel that unfounded when everyone calmed Toey down mostly before Peem, Q’s true bestest friend, came out to be with him. Like Peem caught Toey before going after Q. The next episode nearly every character but Q (aside from Fai who is at all connected to this group) shows up to plan how to support Toey in getting Q.

And while I know my brain cell-less brain trust fully believe they’re helping Q, no one actually seems to ask what Q wants. Aside from Peem trying to get him to come to some that first night on the curb, no one ever asks. And that night all Q wants is to sleep in a pile with his four best friends, because that’s his family. Losing them is even scarier than losing Toey. In essence he’s lost Milk Frappe Boy once. He could do it again. But if they chose Toey…IDK.

We don’t know anything about their families really, aside from Peem’s lovely aunt and the fact that Phum doesn’t get along with his dad. And I get why when the focus is really on these large groups of found families (that are becoming one large found family) that the audience is really in love with. The bonds between the friends are just as much a part of the romance as the actual romances. Because the friendship is where the complications come from.

And while I can’t speak to mlm spaces, as I have never identified as a man, within queer wlw and non-binary spaces there are jokes about dating yourself out of friend groups. There are people you used to know who you don’t anymore because you dated someone in the friend group and were too new and got bounced. Or you date and the way it ends make everyone choose one side. Or, a person in the friend group has a crush on another person in said group, that is an open secret but when the person who was crushed upon gets a new relationship people get mad at them for not dating the person in the friend group who liked them all along because didn’t everyone know. (None of these are from personal experience I assure you 🙃)

And it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes the people figure out a friendship or a queer platonic solution when they’re not attracted to each other anymore. Sometimes they orbit around the friend group like two comets on opposite trajectories, occasionally crossing in awkward moments. Sometimes everyone gets past the weird. Sometimes no one does.

But that’s the risk that we’re playing in this show. I can choose the romance, but if it doesn’t work out, I am gambling this safe zone.

Which is gonna bring me to our last two pieces of this: one has had the most development and one the least but both are struggling.

I’m gonna start with Chain and Pun who are the most unhinged, gay yearning codependent besties that exist in the middle of the week and give Potae and Payos on Only Boo a real run for their money. (Both have lips touching earlobes and I don’t have a platonic answer for either) The thing is, I think both Chain and Pun are very aware of the mutual feelings. They both have moments where you know they’re aware but neither will do anything about it. And they are in the case of the story, the most embedded in one single friend group, and have the potential to explode their core group of five if things go sideways.

Now, they’re also the pair that has been effectively dating this entire time without actually dating. The ear biting and the blowing on things in the other’s mouth and the…I don’t have platonic explanations for their behavior okay? I don’t. Not naming it keeps it from being real though. It’s a collective hallucination or the biggest game of chicken.

Eventually, though, one of them is going to cross the line in a way that can’t be erased or the line redrawn. And it’s gonna have to be big because their friends watched them gaze longingly into each other's eyes for 20+ seconds and thought it was normal. Because this is how they are.

And that brings us to not quite friends not quite lovers and not quite enemies, Phum and Peem. The risk is, as discussed in many other metas, mostly on Phum’s side here and it’s why he spent the episode so hesitant. Yes he started off particularly entitled and rude. His and Peem’s relationship started as a fight (but so did Tan and Fang) and Phum feels incredibly comfortable with Peem. He’s definitely neurodivergent coded my Phum, which doesn’t make his assholery okay, but it explains his hesitancy to try new things and his struggle with making friends and expressing his feelings.

He’s got friends but he doesn’t feel particularly deeply connected to them. Yes, Beer makes time for him and actively seeks him out to give advice. He and Fang have a level of sibling codependency that hints at neglect and Fang protecting Phum at all costs. We see Tan approach Phum most of the time and while some of that is angling to get to Fang, Tan does genuinely care. But Tan is also incredibly loud which seems to be a lot for our neurospicy Phum, and Tan also has his large found family with Peem. Same with Toey, who Phum and Fang adopted long ago, and clearly Phum adores him, but he’s also the little brother of the art faculty.

And Peem is a very loving and giving soul and he makes time and space for Phum even though he’s annoying and high handed and gets Phum out of his ruts and comfort zones. And Phum clearly wants Peem to choose him, because Phum has already chosen even if he hasn’t said “I like you and want to date you.” He’s said other very direct things about how safe he feels with Peem and how connected he feels to other people by hanging out with Peem. And Peem is this safe space for him to go out and connect with the world without it being overwhelming and he even feels more connected to his own friends.

And that’s the danger that Kluen represents and what Phum struggles with. He wants Peem to choose him, but he also doesn’t want to force Peem to make a choice and not choose him, and then lose out on the experiences he’s building with Peem as well as a break in some of the connections he has with the people closest to him as Fang and Toey find love within Peem’s group. And so again, the question comes around, is it better to stay in this limbo where no one says anything and maybe Peem dates Kluen but I get to keep him as a friend, or do I roll the dice like Tan and maybe win.

I think it’s been a hard thread to pull because without the context of Tan & Fang meeting first, and Phum and Peem mending their relationship to become something akin to friends who kiss sometimes and don’t talk about it, and the lingering feelings of betrayal for Q by his friends (where they learned about his largest secret/mystery and NO ONE TOLD HIM) which are later revelations in the course of the show, they feel like different types of love stories without the mess of friendship blurring the lines. The story feels linear, because we start in a school year with the meeting of Phum and Peem, the connections between the other characters are older than this year, leaving some of their stories in media res.

And it’s an interesting core struggle taking a risk when the line between who you’re friends with, who you depend on, and who you’re attracted to blurs and the potential for rifts in your safety net are everywhere. It’s not the first show with this as a central tangle nor is it specific to queer television. But the reality of the deep ties that can exist within queer friendships and how they form deep supportive communities makes the stakes higher. And that’s why the friendships are developed nearly as much if not more than some of the romances. That’s where a lot of the risk lies for these characters.

Anyway, that’s nearly 3K of thoughts I didn’t know I had in me about We Are until today. But here we are.

[saltpixiefibercraft]

Okay, when i mentioned in a recent post that you should keep notes on your weaving I said I would share some of my notebook pages because, and I cannot stress this enough,,,, notes about your projects is So So Important in weaving. At least for me, if I want to recreate a certain fabric and I haven't done the due diligence in notes, it has ALWAYS come back to bite me. "But I'll remember later-" no you will not that is the devils voice whispering sonorous lies into your ear. Take. Notes.

Take these really cool red/white/grey/black dishtowels. They came out So Freaking Excellent. I was on the tail end of not having written down Anything for a previous project and being mad about it + i was in a hyperfocus mood, so so many notes got taken.

These purple/green dishtowels were pretty cool, I did end up changing the plan halfway through, as you can see pffttt

And here's a few more examples of some projects and their notes, plus a page of me workshopping possible warp combos. Having written down The Striped Dishtowel Template has literally saved my ass so many times, I make so many of these darned things for craft shows and they SELL OUT.

I'm excited to start my 2024 Weaving Notebook!

[cyber-night]

Dottore gives you a gift.

Content warnings: Fluff????, Surgery mentions, nothing graphic, a little yandere, organs, also not graphic? Honestly, wholesome insanity,

When you get back from an expedition, you find out dottore your lover has both experimented on himself and gotten you a gift.

You had just gotten back from gathering specific and rare ingredients for Dottore. It had taken you a while, and you were a tad worried. Before you left, he had told you that he would be performing an experiment and that this one would take a few days. He didn't elaborate further when you expressed concern for his well-being due to his tendency to overwork himself and hyperfocus on the experiment he had going. So when you got back and made finally made your way down to his lab after putting your stuff down in your room, you were frankly startled to see Dottore with an IV line and heart monitor hooked up to him. Your shock quickly shifted to irritation as he was currently working while recovering from experimenting on himself, like a moron. Seriously, how could he be the smartest, stupidest, and stubbornest person you know.

"Doctor, while I am not fond of you experimenting on yourself. I'm even less fond of you doing things as labour intensive as... what *Are* you doing?" You look at his work table, taking in the sheer amount of datasheets spread out on his table.

"Making sure I was successful." He says gruffly he continues after a moment. "And I can tell you I was." You sigh both from frustration and relief. If he succeeded, then you didn't have to worry as much about whatever he did to himself. "Well, if you are sure you've succeeded, will you lay down and rest for me? You're obviously still recovering." He looks up and turns to look at you for a long moment. "Oh, Nightshade, I didn't even realize it was you. Since it's you asking, I suppose I'll indulge you. Though I assure you I'm perfectly fine."

You help him back to the "recovery" room. This was really just his office with a bed for him. Most of his experiments don't "Recover" persay. Once he's settled down on the bed, you pull up a chair and sit next to him.

"Do you want to tell me what you did? Or do I have to go read your experiment logs?" You ask your curiosity finally getting the better of you. "I suppose I *could* tell you, or have you read the logs. But I've got a better idea." He smirks. You tilt your head to the side, making a go on motion with your hand. He gestures to his desk where there's a gift wrapped box. You raise your eyebrows but go and take the present from his desk before returning to your seet meet to him.

"Is it for me?" You ask to clarify to which he nods, encouraging you to open it. You fail to see how a gift could explain what experiment he's run in himself this time, but it's Dottore, so it could really be anything. You open the box and find a jar settled amongst tissue paper. Upon removing it, you look at its contents carefully. It's a heart, a human heart, you've seen pleanty you know this is a human heart. It looks slightly malformed but healthy otherwise. It doesn't take you long to put two and two together. "Zandik? Is this..." He smiles it's rare you use his name, "It is. It was finally starting to annoy me with how weak it was. So I replaced it with a mechanical one." He reaches out and takes your cheek in his hand. "And what could be more... *romantic* than litteraly giving you my heart!" You could see a flicker of obssesive love in his eyes. "It's beautiful, I love it, *I love you.*"

You leaned forward and kissed him your forehead and nose leaning against his. "Get some rest. I'd like to be allowed to care for you while you recover." He smiles, showing sharp teeth and nods. As he lays down, he takes your hand before relaxing. You can tell that he is actually getting tired as he hasn't fully recovered, but you'll be there with him to help along the way.

[sunset-bobby]

WIP Wednesday

this is the start of my buddietommy fic i was talking about here

*****

Contrary to popular belief, Evan Buckley was not oblivious. Sure, there were times when his need to hyperfocus affected his ability to see the bigger picture, but it was that attention to detail that made it easier for him to read people. So, yes he did notice that further into the relationship Tommy had begun getting closer to Eddie. At first, he thought it was nice. Eddie and Tommy had a lot in common, and none of his past relationships had taken the chance to get to know Eddie or any of his friends if he was being honest. It was nice to have someone fit in and include the important people in his life. However, as time went on Buck found himself once again feeling jealous of their relationship. Eddie and Tommy started having designated hangout days, even going so far as to share a Google calendar. Though, Buck could only blame himself for that as he was the one who suggested it. Tonight was one of those nights, and Tommy had flown Eddie to Vegas again. He originally asked Buck, offering a romantic helicopter ride and an overnight stay in a fancy hotel for the consultation of going to a race with him, but Buck being the kind person he was said Eddie would enjoy it more, and they made plans for a trip without out the race. But as he sits in the bar waiting for Maddie, Chim, Hen, and Karen, he can’t help but wish his boyfriend was with him instead of spending the night with his best friend. It also didn’t help that other people thought their closeness was weird too

“Hey, Buck! The usual?” Tara the bartender asked him. 

“Yup! You know me so well,” he told her, and she laughed turning around to pour him a draft. 

“Is Tommy or Eddie with you?” she asked, handing him his beer.

“No, they went to go see a NASCAR race in Vegas. Tommy got them tickets, you should have seen how excited Eddie was.”

“Oh. I thought you and Tommy were dating?” 

“We are,” he said a little confused. 

“Then why aren’t you with them?” 

“Tommy knows a guy, but they only got two tickets. I’m not really into cars like that so I told him he should ask Eddie,” he said with a shrug, taking a sip of his beer. 

“You let your boyfriend take another guy on an overnight trip to Vegas?” A person in the seat next to him asked incredulously. 

“Well I guess, but like nothing's gonna happen I trust them. Plus Eddie’s straight,” he answered, reassuring himself, more than them. Tara chuckled a little, at what Buck has no clue. 

[valentine-ofthe-ghostwiththemost]

🎸MY THOUGHTS AND HEADCANONS TO ADAM FROM HAZBIN HOTEL - (for now)🍖

Hello hello folks, I've been thinking about writing about this post/blog for a while now and here it is, because Adam is my favorite character (obsession) and I have a lot of things in my head that I need share before I kidnap someone to listen to me talk about it for hours on end.

Hahaha I'm just kidding...or am I?

TW: Mention of profanity and sex.

I'm writing this blog because I have a lot to say about Adam and I think I'm already bothering my friends too much (just kidding, I'm going to keep filling them with Adam until I say enough is enough🤓👆)

Alright, let's start, firstly I was already a big fan of Hazbin hotel's work since the time Vizziepop had released the pilot on YouTube at the time of on October 28, 2019, and man, I was simply OBSESSED with the work, I had no idea who Adam was at that time, I was only 11 years old (And I know, I know, Hazbin Hotel was not and is not intended for minors, but I didn't have internet surveillance on my parents, so that's what happened and now I'm 18 years old).

And boy, oh boy

I was in complete EUPHORIA when it became public on August 7, 2020 that Hazbin Hotel was going to have a sequel on Amazon, I only knew how to talk about it and was excited waiting for the release date.

And when I watched that episode where Charlie has a meeting with Adam...I was like "THAT MAN, I NEED THAT MAN‼️‼️"

And that song..."Hell is Forever"... I can't remember a day that I didn't clean the house listening to that sound and pretending the broom was a guitar while I beat my hair like an 80s rocker high (I know, it's an exaggerated comparison but that's how I feel, so let me have it).

Here, listen to this work of art sung by our (MY) beloved Alex Brightman

In addition to the song "Stick it to the man" from the musical "School of rock" that Adam references in one of the items on the list of things to get into paradise, coincidentally his voice actor Alex Brightman also He is the main voice of the song and a character in the musical.

I spent all day listening to her today, but that's the least of it

There are also some songs by other singers that make me think of Adam because of their lyrics, for example Lana del Rey, there is a song of hers that all I think of when I hear it is Adam, unfortunately I can't share it here because it is a discarded song by the singer that I managed to download on a pirated website that has been taken down a while ago.

The songs that make me think of him are "Push me down" and what made me think of Adam is the following part "I'm your little baby doll and you are my mister rock 'n roll", the song "Brooklyn Baby" because of the music part "Well, my boyfriend's in a band, He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed", the others songs are "Say yes to Heaven" and "Angels Forever".

Adam, besides being my favorite character and hyperfocus, was the reason I met the character Beetlejuice (my other hyperfocus) and the voice actor and actor Alex Brightman. Because he was the one who aroused my curiosity to know who his voice actor was since I recognized that his voice was the same as Fizzarolli's, and then when researching and discovering the actor, I also ended up discovering about Beetlejuice, I even have a blog about it, if you want to read it, this is it here.

Just like with Beetlejuice, I'm producing a page with drawings and collages about Adam in my sketchbook that I might post later in a future post about my sketchbook, but that's another topic.

In addition, I'm trying to put together some songs to create a playlist based on him, in it I'm putting rock songs from the 80s that I feel suit him or that he would listen to, some songs by the norwegian singer Aurora which are very reminiscent of and are based on the garden of Eden and Adam from the bible (although the Adam from Hazbin hotel and the one from the bible are completely different).

Some time ago I was writing a fanfic about Adam with an authorial character completely made by me, it was just a fanfic that I had written on character IA but then I decided to write it myself, but I never got around to posting it and kept it stored in my notepad.

The story took place in the timeline of the first season of the series, where heaven discovered that demons and beings from hell now possessed angelic fist weapons and could hurt or kill the exterminating angels after the death of one of the exterminating angels, they would need a new strategy or a new "weapon", and then with the decision of God and all the seraphim, she was created, an angel made to protect heaven and bring back balance by killing sinners in hell, her name was Angelita, and she would be handed over to Adam who would have to train her until the day of the next day of extermination (which would be the day in which Adam dies), throughout the story Adam would begin to feel something for her, unlike Lilith and Eve, he would fall in love out of true love and not obligation, this love between the two would be something forbidden (as a metaphor for the forbidden fruit of Eden) since by God's order she would have to be pure and virgin and that Adam would not fall into temptation for her, I won't tell the rest of the story, if you want I'll make a post just about that (I'll leave you curious hehe), all I can say is that Adam will not die and the ending is tragic, for all sides.

🤘🏻MY HEADCANONS ABOUT ADAM🎸

These headcanons are some things I thought Adam might like, do, or make me think of him, and I'm also writing this because most of the headcanons I find about him are about sex or couples things (Not that they're bad, some are actually quite cute and I read them when I need comfort), so I'm here to contribute some content just about him.

• About how he feels about have been betrayed

I know, Adam is not the best person in the world but man, he is not a monster, he is a human, the first human, unfortunately, human nature is curious and destructive, not that this is an excuse for everything Adam committed. But then I think, "How much did it hurt to be cheated on twice?", "Did he feel worthless, insufficient?", I know how much it hurts to be cheated on, then I think how bad he felt and feels, but he hides it all behind a false personality of "Dick Master" and "The First Man", titles, high ego and falsehood to hide your real self. The only part of Adam that we were shown about him was him being extremely selfish, rude, arrogant and sexist, but all in scenes where he was exposed to people, people who weren't close to him, and then I wonder if he's just all that, but I feel like Adam he's just a hurt man who hides what he feels behind a false personality, just like Angel Dust does. Proof that he cares about people (at least those he considers close) was his smile at Lute as he slowly lost his life in the arms of the exterminating angel who cried seeing him dying. (I cried so much at this scene 😭)

Adam is a sexist character, I can't deny that, but man, he's the first man, no one ever told him what was right and wrong, they always let him do what he wanted from the beginning of his creation, and even in heaven, but now he had Sera to put him in his place at least when she was around.

I might just be taking a shot in the dark or looking for something good in what isn't there, but that's how I think about Adam, so please let me have this, let me see there's still some good there.

• Adam has a chubby body (like a dad body)

Okay, this one took me a while to think about, because a lot of people draw him thin and we never see him without his tunic, which left me quite confused, but after analyzing some scenes and discovering he was made based on his voice actor (Alex Brightman) I had no more doubts.

In these scenes every time he is squeezed his belly ends up being marked and you can clearly see that he is a little chubby. I know there was that scene with Lilith at the beginning that shows him skinny, but let's face it guys, you can see from his scenes in heaven that he eats a lot, do you really think he wouldn't gain a little weight?

And even Lucifer during the fight in hell against him told Adam that he had really let himself go, kind of like he was different before when he was in the garden of Eden.

Honestly, I don't know why people try to say he's skinny, the fanarts are really beautiful and stuff, but come on, don't you think a chubby Adam would make more sense? I'm not saying this because I love chubby men (I think they're incredibly cute and it makes me want to hug them 😫💗) but I don't know, I just think that with all of his diet, which isn't the best, it made him gain a little weight in the meantime.

• He felt bad about being the only human in heaven

This is because of an art I saw on Pinterest and it made me reflect on it. Like, when he got to heaven he was the only one with human appearance, all other angels and winners (human souls who reach heaven) had different appearances, such as animal appearances, for example Molly, Angel Dust's sister, who is a spider.

So I think he may have made that mask with horns to feel more integrated into that society and less different.

•Adam plays guitar when he's feeling bad (sad, distressed, stuff like that)

I imagine that whenever Adam is feeling sad, distressed or even stressed, he goes somewhere alone and plays his guitar in calm chords expressing what he feels through the melody played, it would be calm notes but full of feelings, his black gloved fingers hitting the strings while all there is in the place are just him, his guitar and his mind, and no one else to see him like that.

I think that whenever he remembers Lilith and Eva's betrayals, he feels at least a little bad, and then playing his guitar stops and takes away all that bad feeling in his chest, even if it just goes away temporarily.

I imagine the following scenario, late afternoon almost dusk as the cotton white clouds take on a yellowish tone as the sun slowly sets bringing the night with it, while the sun brought the night with it, in Adam's chest that bitter feeling grew as memories knocked on the door again, leaving him more moody than usual, making him fly away from the city with his guitar to sit on the golden gates of heaven and as he plays the guitar calmly emptying that feeling from his chest so that the next day he pretends that nothing happened, but he knows, he knows that that will forever be stuck in his mind.

• He's not as popular as he says he is

Going back to that topic I said about him hiding behind a false narcissistic personality and high ego, I think that him being popular is a lie, both sexually and in society, I know, he is the first man and that would make him popular and the fact that he is a guitarist in a band, but think with me, would you like to be in the presence of someone or have relationships with someone who only knows how to curse all the time and talk about himself and how many girls he had sex with over the weekend?

Well, at least I think that everything he says is just stuff to inflate his ego and feel good about himself.

• He likes 80s rock bands

This is just in my head, I feel like Adam would like 80s rock bands like Metallica or Guns N' Roses, maybe even Slipknot, bands in general that have the same type of music that he plays, I also think he enjoys guitar solos like Slash or the solo from the song "Master of puppets".

I also think that his band's style follows the same style as these bands, I don't know, like I said it's just my headcanon.

•Adam has a fear or trauma of apples

This is supposed to be a little funny

This headcanon came to mind when a friend of mine who also knows Hazbin hotel made the joke that Adam is afraid or traumatized by apples because of the whole forbidden fruit of Eden thing and betrayal by Eve.

Imagine, Lute simply eating an apple near him and he freaks out, ripping the apple out of her hands and throwing it away.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

I honestly feel like Adam deserved a chance to change, a chance at redemption, a chance to really be loved and really love, no sex, no divine obligation, just real love.

Well guys that's what I have for now, I'll try to remember more headcanons for a next post, maybe even some +18, but for now that's all I have in my mind.

Thank you so much for reading, kisses in your heart 💗🤘🏻

[windvexer]

dear chicken, if its not too much trouble, could i ask for your advice on a situation that's troubling me a lot as of late? my spiritual practice has been suffering due to my being torn between so many different interests and areas of hyperfocus, and i'm unsure how to reconcile all the different things that i'm drawn to but are so culturally different. for example, i'm in love with traditional english folk magic/witchcraft, and have done a lot of research on the regional folklore of places my ancestors are from. at the same time, however, i'm also in love with orphism, and feel no greater contentment and purpose than when i dream about devoting myself to the greek gods. to say nothing about historical/cultural differences and potential disrespect (ancient greece having very different ideas on what constituted "witchcraft" and whether or not it was hubris, for example) i'm just not sure how to even go about reconciling how these would work together as part of a practice. genuinely, i feel distressed, stuck, and as if i am simultaneously letting down my ancestors /and/ those who historical practices i have put on a pedestal.

Hi, Anon.

Do you think it's possible that you might have very unrealistic standards for what it actually means to practice your faith?

Because, please forgive me if I'm wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be making up a ton of rules for yourself.

Have your ancestors visited you and told you they would be disappointed in you if you practiced anything other than English folk magic? If so, why do you hold their opinions to be higher than your happiness? If so, what steps have you taken to reconcile your relationship with your ancestor and reach a place of mutual understanding so they won't be upset with you for doing what makes you happy?

Approximately one billion modern witches practice witchcraft and intentionally include the Greek gods in their witchcraft, or, have a faith centered around the Greek gods and practice witchcraft on the side. A Greek goddess has personally helped me with my witchcraft even though I'm not even a pagan.

Is there anything that makes you feel that you in particular would disrespect the gods by doing this, even though other people do it and it improves their relationship with the gods?

(I also just now remembered Hekate, isn't she like, the highkey Greek goddess of witchcraft? Why wouldn't she want you to both venerate the Greek gods and practice witchcraft?)

If the gods have told you that you can't practice folk magic without disrespecting them, what steps have you taken to understand why they have this special rule for you that they do not have for other people? Have they told you that this is temporary, or permanent? When you've offered solutions, what did they say?

And if these assholes are all banding up on you telling you that you can't do what makes you happy and weaponizing their disappointment to make you fall in line, why do you want to work with any of them at all? You deserve better.

But, Anon, I secretly suspect that none of that has happened. I suspect that you might have just made up a lot of rules for yourself and decided everyone will be mad at you unless you dedicate yourself to 1 thing and do it 100% perfectly.

I'm not saying that sometimes ancestors don't bully people into following a certain path, or that gods ask for very special levels of devotion once your relationship gets to a certain point. But I'm also not suspecting that this is the case for you.

It's just that, I dunno. To me it sounds like you're acting like any particular path you take is like locking yourself inside of a monastery to the exclusion of all else, like instead of starting out chill, you're wanting to start out as a devotee initiate ready to take lifelong vows.

Instead of just like, praying to Hermes to help with traffic and then later that week giving your ancestors a meal.

You're saying you don't know how this would look in practice, which makes me worry that you're trying to write a textbook about how to do your practice without ever actually having learned the material.

You can never know what it looks like before you do it.

You are not supposed to able to envision a complete, polished pathway before you put your hiking boots on.

You don't even need to be able to see around the first corner.

Toad charm to cure a cold, veil to limit Miasma. Pray to the ancestors, then to Zeus. I don't see the conflict. And if Apollo gets mad at you for doing your ancestral coffee grind readings because it isn't Greek enough for him, sort that out when it happens.

But wait until it happens before you worry about it.

[gowns]

my mom, every single time i see her, has taken to going on an Autism Monologue. the Autism Monologue goes like this:

"there were so many things i thought were normal that are not really normal. now i know it's because my mother was autistic. and most likely my father, although he wasn't present in my life enough for me to be affected by it. but my mother, your grandmother, definitely autistic. and i look at you, and i think, yes, you were most likely autistic. and your kids, well, most likely, they're on the spectrum. it seems like autism just runs in the family. and now that i think about it, i'm pretty sure your stepdad was autistic. and your dad... do you think he's autistic? he sure has a hyperfocus, which is jazz music."

"uhhh i don't know. i don't think my dad's autistic. i think he's just a weird guy."

"oh. hmm. well, maybe. it's funny to think you could all be autistic."

"...do you think you, perhaps, are autistic? is that what you're getting at?"

"me? oh no, not me. i'm not autistic."

"...why not"

"i'm just not. i'm not inflexible. i'm not sensitive. i don't meltdown." (she hears a fire truck and her eyes go blank. she stops talking, she forgets she was talking. she completely resets. she stares into space.)

...

"...you were saying..."

"huh? hm?"

"you were just saying something about autism."

"oh. no. i don't think i was. but if you're asking if you're autistic, yes, i believe so."

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Literature: THE SUNSHINE COURT BABYYYYY LETS GO JEAN

to begin: THE COVER???

The fucking NARCISSUS/DAFFODIL. Stop stop stop. Nora stop. She said it wouldn’t be a sun but I WASNT READY.

RESILIENCE. FIRST BLOOM AT THE END OF WINTER. NEW BEGINNINGS AND REBIRTH.

warning in advance for how many reaction images will be in this post. Miss Nora Sakavic has a way of making me unable to verbalise how devistated I am so I turn to goofy photos.

Also, just so we’re all on the same page:

it’s 1:20 AM. My roommate IS asleep. I am fighting the demons (downloading this book) but i am winning (it is queued on my kindle)

ITS DOWNLOADED LETS GO

Okay so context is that my Kindle is at 10%

I tried to go to bed and read this in the morning but I am

SO NOW I HAVE FRANTICALLY FOUGHT A WAR (figured out how to get this book) AND I AM READY FOR BATTLE (to cry over Jean)

ONE, TWO, THREE, LETS GO BITCH!!

Also my kindle cord is too small for me to properly lay in bed so im literally about to lay on my stomach kicking my feet like a middle schooler WISH. ME. LUCK.

CHAPTER ONE:

oh we’re jumping right in okay. god. hi baby :((

OH. I am just adding onto my #1 Riko hater agenda right now.

“The golden rule— not where the public can see” DIE. LITERALLY DIE TETSUJI

“The lack of broken fingers this time” THIS TIME??? JEAN. JEAN.

im so.

RENEE!!!

“and he had wasted them texting Renee a heads-up.” Nora please we’re only four pages in bro

Renee i love you im marrying you please give me a kiss. Mwah Mwah Mwah. She said “Bitch. Lay back down.”

currently also reading a batshit raven!neil fic and just. on the ground. about all of this.

stop the way I literally went “who the fuck is Nathaniel” Im too transgender for this.

Me, seeing the Abby content we need in this world:

Jean dont call that hellscape home bbg

Renee beating self worth into this man. ily

“Jean couldnt remember the last time he was allowed to wear color” LITERALLY KILL ME

Nora I need you to be less good at describing pain please and thanks

NOT THE BITING

DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK!!

he fr be moving this man like a doll. love you wymack

tied him up with racquet laces I. h. lays on floor softly crying.

NOT THE DADDY ISSUES

Jean fr out here plotting 50 ways to kill his brother. he fr though Neil was the problem. no girl Neil just has no tact and autism rizz. Kevins the fucking snitch

no one:

Jean @ the Moriyamas;

“that man is years overdue for a head-on high-speed collision” YOU TELL EM DADMACK

CHAPTER TWO:

Jean please just sleep like a normal human man. God.

Even Jean be out here like “Kevins a little Chihuahua ass drama queen. Bitchboy. Wet cat man.”

Kevin: look, bro, if the 5’3 twink with enough daddy issues to make riko blush and chugs ‘fuck around and find out’ juice for breakfast can escape the moriyamas and not die, so can you.

Testuji. Testuji when I catch you. Tetsuji

Jean what the fuck makes you think anyone but Andrew Minyard will ever tell Neil what to do. Girl.

“If I am not a Raven, who am I?” A MOTHERCUCKING TROJAN BABYYYY

“I have to go to my next class.” I forgot they were in college deadass. Neil is straight up my age im gonna throw up.

Okay. It is. *checks time* 3 AM. I cannot keep my eyes open, which means i must put Jean away for sleep.

ITS IS NOON THE FOLLOWING DAY. I HAVE SLEPT. I HAVE TAKEN MY MEDICATIONS. TIME TO HYPERFOCUS BABY.

KINDLE SAYS WE HAVE 8 hrs 27 mins LEFT IN THIS BOOK. IM SAYING GOODBYE TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I’LL SEE Y’ALL AT DINNEE TIME. ITS JEAN TIME.

Hiiiiiii Thea….

“Good morning, Paris.” Now, the average man will see this as a reference to his frenchness. but real ones know Paris is prince of Troy, the man who married Helen of Troy & started the Trojan war.

do y’all think Jean has a french accent wait wait wait. obviously itd be very slight at this point but is it there. necessary question.

Assessing Thea like a fucking state exam right now. Neil could not have cared less about your ass I am gaining so much information

Hate of my life Riko moriyama.

CHAPTER THREE:

JEREMY FUCKING KNOW HI BAYYYBY

the way I literally got up and had to pace and stim for a moment even though I fully expected this. autism. my roommate is concerned. not really. she’s used to this she watched me read TKM and dramatically reenact the Ichirou Car Talk.

wow??? AFTG team actually seems happy and well-adjusted and friendly with each other??

Random Note: I’m currently watching Blue Exorcist & one of the main characters is a girl name Moriyama and I’m literally just sitting here like “This girl is way to nice and innocent to have that name.” Because she literally is the nicest girl to ever exist. Why is she cursed with the same name as my mortal enemy (Testuji)

“Tonight’s experiment was the icing on the cake, an invaluable experience no matter how it ended.” Jeremy, my love.

He has empathy… Never before seen footage. Y’all get the cameras!!

He’s so shaken about Jean,,, holding you so gently Jeremy. Here as a guy who knows nothing at all about Jeremy since I’m. so new here. but god.

Jeremy: are you sure a Raven can abide by Troja—

Kevin: Bro Jean is so pathetic he’s a bottom fr. He never disobeys an order

Jeremy: I. Okay you didnt have to say it like that, bro.

I will literally never stop respecting the Trojans strat in the final they really said. “If these fucks can win the championships with nine players, surely we can.” and then willingly got their asses handed to them.

“Xavier stumbled when he got the next serve off, and the Fox guarding him gamely hauled him back upright before running for the ball. It was a simple gesture, but it endeared Jeremy to them” I dont remember if this bit was described in tkm so i’m going to guess that’s Nicky or Matt. Aaron would fucking never.

Nah because like. Yes this proved to the Trojans how resilient the Foxes were, but it was also a message to the audience, yk? Like we know the Foxes were getting shit for their quick rise to the top after they pulled their shit together, but I personally think that the Trojans did this both for their improvement & for Foxes’ publicity. This game proved to the public at large how devastatingly *good* the Foxes were, because of their small size. The second best team in the league crumbled playing the same conditions the Foxes did *every game* and got to championships with. They proved that Foxes were, in fact, a D1 team who earned their keep.

oh hes got daddy’s money. Well. not. officially. yo what I mean.

“it was always best to have a paper trail” Neil Josten would have an anuerysm hearing those words.

Bye Jeremy I’m. Love you so much. Why do you feel like a sixty year old man in your early twenties.

“between seven and twelve students.” yikes.

“unfamiliar and accented voice.” I WAS RIGHT I FUCKING CALLED IY HES GOT AN ACCENT BABY FUCK YEAH

“you ever feel like— like you’re making a choice you cant come back from? But even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you’d make that choice every time?” okay so coming out allegories i could make aside, Jeremy is so… where to start with him. He reminds me of Percy Jackson. Endlessly loyal and selfless to the point its a bit stupid but endearingly stupid.

CHAPTER FOUR:

Okay so we’re alresdy hateflirting. noted.

Its also extremely sunny today in Podunk Hicksville where I live so it feels very On Brand.

“Jean had seen that smile in a half-dozen broadcast… He could picture it too easily, and he dug his fingernails into his own face in vicious warning.” Awww you think you can best the gay worms in your brain. goodluck with that Johnny.

“isn’t that reason enough to keep living? To rediscover simple delight one moment at a time,” keeping this quote for eternity

“enough sunlight to chase away Evermore’s shadows. They are willing to take a chance on you. Aren’t you?”

Kevin Day autistic king. taking this hesdcannon to my grave .

“the conspiracy theorists were working overtime” no girl they just aint stupid.

THEY DESTROYED HIS POSTCARDS…

CHAPTER FIVE:

I want to start keeping record of all the times Jean is like “[name] wasn’t decent enough to [thing]” because its SO funny. We LOVE a petty king.

also keeping track of all the insults he throws at Neil.

Neil likes to think he’s SUUUUCH a loner boy no friends angsty “dont speak to me” resting bitch face ass motherfucker. In reality he is a jack russell terrier — ceritifed jack russell owner who’s dog thinks hes soooo big and bad but said dog literally cries when you dont let him in the bed or say hi to people on the street

Jean is SOOOOOO dramatic 😭😭

Jean: Why would you let Kevin do this.

Neil: let him?? He did that on his own.

Jean: you’re proud of him for being a problem, arent you?

Neil: oh you fucking know I am, bitchass

“but other than his outstanding murder charge there was nothing interesting about that Fox.” i’d consider that very interesting information, Jean. Youre just deranged

“with milk, juice, and vodka dominating one shelf” that’s Aaron, Nicky, Andrew/Kevin in order. Im correct.

“There was an entire drawer dedicated to cheese.” Yeah that sounds like Nicky.

“Half the drawer was full of mini candy bars. Jean threw them all into the trash” bro Andrew is going to kill you in cold blood and not even Neil can save you.

Jean is SO dramatic. Give him Kevin’s crown.

Jean @ Neil during the final: ARE YOU WITHOUT INTELLIGENCE????? ARE YOU STUPID??? DO YOU WANT TO DIE??

Seeing the media coverage of the championship is the food I needed thank you Nora for this. I am eating it up. om nom nom

The sportscasters referring to athletes with their first name is batshit. What. why. huh. Absolutely not.

CHAPTER SIX:

Renee protecting Jean from discovering Riko’s death through media & not through them…

Everytime boys start fistfighting in this series I hear Roxanne from Megamind. “Ladies, ladies, you’re BOTH pretty.”

a) Jeans reaction to finding out was exaclty what I expected

b) I’m FASCINATED to know who called campus security. Jeremy?? Renee?? Someone in Fox tower???

Neil was gentle with someone other than Andrew? I didnt know he knew how to do that…

NEIL. NEIL JOSTEN. YEAH BABY

HES ROOMING WITH CAT AND LAILA??? YES YEA YES YESY

the Jean-Renee dynamic is so fucking important to me. MLM/WLW solidarity. theyre besties.

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME BRO.

Literally snuggling Jeremy

Oh he’s got Fox potential. Hiiii Jeremy. Give me the traumadump bbg

THEY/THEM??? DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME OR IS THIS AN HONEST TO GOD THEY/THEM PLAYER OH ILL CRY. ILL CRU RIGHT NOW

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Oh Jean. you’re about to have such a gay awakening babe i can feel it in my bones.

A FUCKING YOYO??? I LOVE HIM

“A mite bit hecked up” PLEEEASE JUST SAY FUCK /ref

OH HE WAS IN LOVE WITH KEVIN. INTERESTING INTERESTING INTERESTING.

autism coded lookingg motherfucker (stares at Jean.)

The chaos of Cat and Laila’s house is so fucking cute. Its about to be two lesbians and their distrustful pitbull rescue in this bitch and im ready for it.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

watching normal people discover the cult that is Evermore. Finally someone having a normal response to that madness. What the FUCK.

wait theres actually a cardboard dog i thought it was fanon joke.

oh my god there is actually a fucking cardboard dog. i.

jeans brain just got actually shattered by this living room. he cannot comprehend this.

Cat & Jeremy, realizing the cult rumors are real: I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING! I thought it was joke! I even wrote it down in my diary! “Kevin made a very funny joke today!” I laughed at it later that night!

Okay, last night; I went to bed at 2:30 AM 45% through (college my beloathed). we’re back in business.

Jeremy is so disturbed all of the time. goofy ass.

“Loving something is not enough,”

“When was the last time you enjoyed playing?”

“ Irrelevant.”

Whats his shirt look like Jeremy. Jeremy whats the shirt look like. Jeremy. Whats the shirt look like.

Okay so I’ve reached my image limit for this post and I dont have fun reaction images on my laptop. so now I will post this & reblog with the rest of this book.

[ariaste]

hello ! Just read your theory doc and I absolutely Loved it 😁 I think it makes sm sense !!! And I was wondering what are ur thoughts on the coffee theory going around? I was having thoughts about it but apparently a cup of coffee has been shown in the intro multiple times so maybe it's not that far off??? Idk ! Would love to hear ur thoughts though, have a lovely day !

people keep mentioning the coffee theory and I actually have no idea what they're talking about because since Good Omens S2 came out, I have been:

Binge watching Good Omens (~6 hours, 8pm-2am, 7/27 aka release day)

Yelling about Good Omens on Discord (~1 hours, 2am-3am)

Sleeping (~6 hours, 3am-9am)

Yelling about Good Omens on Discord (~8 hours, 9am-5pm, 7/28)

Having an epiphany (~0.5 hours, 5pm-5:30pm)

Rewatching Good Omens, very slowly, while taking notes and pausing to yell about things (~8 hours, 5:30pm-1:30am)

Sleeping (~7 hours, 1:30am-8:30am)

Continuing to rewatch Good Omens, very slowly, see above (7.5 hours, 8:30-4pm, 7/29)

Writing my Theory essay (9 hours, 4pm-1am)

Sleeping (6hours, 2am-8am)

Writing my Theory essay (7 hours, 8am-3pm, 7/30)

Revising, formatting, and posting my Theory essay (4 hours, 3pm-7pm)

Feverishly reading comments on my tumblr post of the Theory essay (9 hours, 7pm-4am)

Sleeping (~5 hours, 4am-9am, 7/31 aka today)

Being sort of lightheaded and catatonic at the wall (5.5 hours, 9am-2:30pm which is right now as i answer this ask)

And yes that's LITERALLY my whole schedule since release day. So as u can see i have uhhhh not really had time to do anything else 😂 Like read other people's theories 😂 what is the coffee theory. can someone link me to it please. thank u i love u

(all times taken from timestamps of messages I sent on discord, so they're. uh. astonishingly accurate. Lunch and dinner were eaten at my computer. No, i have not showered yet. :| This was an ADHD Hyperfocus Event aaaaaand it's not actually all that healthy to do! This is not aspirational! Yes, it's pretty cool to be able to slam through something that fast, but at what cost!!!! Practice better self-care than this!!!!!!)

[iateaturtle]

i cant and wont ignore this any longer.

please dont use the words "hyperfixation", "hyperfocus" or "special interest" if you are neurotypical. just refer to it as your hobby.

allistics, do not refer to your hyperfixation/hobby as a "special interest". its a term that belongs to the autism community.

non-adhders, do not refer to your special interest/hobby as a "hyperfixation". its a term that belongs to the adhd community.

i dont know if im autistic, but as a member of the adhd community, i really need to stop hearing non-adhders call their non-hyperfixations "hyperfixations". it makes me feel like youre belittling my feelings towards my hyperfixation.

hyperfixations arent something to be taken lightly or to be used improperly or thrown around by communities who dont respect the term.

i hardly ever hear allistics refer to their hyperfixation/hobby as a "special interest", but for those who do, STOP. the autism community has spoken out about why its hurtful to them, and now you damn better respect it.

same goes for hyperfixation. same reasons, too. hyperfixations are a symptom of adhd. they mean the world to so many adhders. by using this term if you are not an adhder, you are appropriating the term.

if you have any hate to say, dni. im not in the mood.

[kakisocks]

Obikin Ao3 Rec List

So this is a huge list. It’s mostly Anakin centric so some of it is just platonic Obikin, and some of it is no romance at all.

As usual, if it doesn’t say not complete then its complete and if it doesn’t have pairings next to it then it’s either romantic or platonic Obikin. Please read the tags once you click on the fic, you too would have given up with warnings once you see the amount of fics on this list.

Happy Browsing :)

Fluff

Darling

fake it till you make it

sir that’s my emotional support force bond

Nor the Suns Themselves Brighter

a vacationers guide to being unexpectedly married

somewhere, this is truth

The Creche Master

put your money where your mouth is

let’s get your fingers tangled in my hair

come to cherish anew

To Hold You In My Arms

The Little Jedi (NO ROMANCE Anakin has been turned into a kid J )

you are the victim of your own anger

Flatmates

Died last night in my dreams

the expanse of forever

what they grow beyond

Moving

And The War Never Sleeps

Shades in the Desert

Thou Little Tiny Child

come on baby calm me down (you’re the only one who knows how)

status quo

even the rougher ones

seekers not saints

Dangerous Territories

On Hugs and Warm Blankets

A Jedi’s Cloak

cat’s in the cradle

yesterday’s jam

It’s Time

White Sand

Will You Shut Up?

Hauntingly (Lovingly)

A (Background) Picture’s Worth A Thousand Words

darling, dearest, beloved

Day 4: Different Path

The Melody Wakes the Heart

Face the Music

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust

Comes Out in the Wash

Waterproof

the road not taken

Next on the Agenda

The Road that Reaches

I need some sleep

Everything

Checking You Out

Travel Man, Reach for the Sky

throw out the window all your common sense

can you brave what you most fear

hyperfocus

Bitter Confessions

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

broken bones, thunder drums

Sweet Surprise

Taking care of baby

Benediction

sea to a desert

stay my fears (there in the dark)

________________________________________________________

Smut

Like a supernova

Swear On It

This Was Obi-wan

So Special

safe and sound

Tangled Garlands

game plan

Better Living Through Lack of Chemistry

touch of heaven with a wild side

not until then

Equinox

Against The Wall

Patience, Anakin

bound up with you

put your hands on my cashmere sweater

Stay till dawn, I’ll give you the sun

eat, sleep, wake (nothing but you)

Murder Puppy (not complete)

Prompted | Obikin

then she lit up a candle (and she showed me the way)

Warm Blood

Some Things Never Change

Various Applications of Salves and Oils

Master

perfect decimals (Obi-wan / Anakin/ Qui-gon)

Temporary Like Achilles

if this isn’t nice, what is? (not complete)

Give them Blood

Cross-Wired

as holy as enchanted

The way he smiles at you

He Watched

what’s mine is yours is ours

For Your Pleasure

Find His Pleasure

Sticky

Tristitia

pretty bird and the wedding planner

Home Again

terribly inconvenient and incredibly terrific

Slow Learner

Convergence

A Different Sort of Knife (not complete)

Over Santa’s Lap

understanding is honoring the truth beneath the surface

deception: epilogue

choose what is right, not what is easy

a lesson is learned is a lesson earned

use my body to break your fall

although it’s been said many times, many ways

Fourteen Days

radiance

afterglow

If you can be my master

All That We have

I will be keeping our memories

forgiving is easy when it comes to you

Just For Us

Equality

3%

Heat Haze

Triptyche of Love (Qui-gon /Anakin / Obi-wan)

pretty bird and the mob boss

How to Punish a Padawan

[Only] think of me (Padme / Obi-wan / Anakin)

Both (not complete)

Find a little stranger (Padme / obi-wan / Anakin)

pure uncomplicated love

Passion, Yet Serenity

notches

Anakin sucks

Like a fine wine

the force is my ally

Excessively Heated

Good Form

Redolent of you (not complete)

sail through the deep, the dark of space

such selfish prayer (and I can’t get enough)

The Same Cloth (in foreign stars) (not complete)

short shallow gasps

and when you look at me, the weight of how I feel is heavy on me

For He, too, is King

Heal Me, My Darling

Diversions

Conjunction

A Touch of Praise

Only Angel

Fill Me Up

Touch me Touch Me Touch Me

Kicks From Within

The Jedi and the tabby

Operatics

Crack Open (ObiAnidala)

Gold Collar

Parousia

Your One, Your Two

My Moon After the Tide

Poikilothermic

bled my eyes gold for you

Lights Off and My Chains On

Shattered Mirror

I think I could love you more

praise you

Just a simple touch

Here Without You Baby (not complete)

It’s How You Learn

Light Up the Trenches Where My Heart Lies

I’m Not All Right (But I’ll Be Ok)

Hidden Treasure

Two Hearts in Hand (Anakin / Savage Opress)

How Anakin Got His Groove Back (not complete)

Closed Doors

my beloved, how he shines

In the Heat of the Hour

Heat Simmer

Finally at Home

To Find the One

Inked

A Good Epithet

to touch the light, darkest

His name is Anakin and he is indeed a person (not complete)

Anakin’s Comfort

Silent Tears

Weight Keepin’ Me Down

Win Condition

Admire The Foliage

be careful not to choke on your admirations

Lifeblood

(Tell Me I’m) Still Beautiful

I smile at the moon (death is on my face)

It’s A Meet-Cute

The Emperor’s Padawan (not complete, ObiAnidala at a future date apparently)

I’ll Thank My Car

In Charge

Kidnap Victim is a Whore (not complete)

deep resonance

improper methods of scientific inquiry

needs must

make it hurt cuz we love it when it burns

pretty bird and the closest thing he has to a father

Experiments in Oracular Ecstasy

Of Fawns and Fangs

all the better to love you with

Waterlogged

Restraint

Furious than a Dragon

we repeat what we don’t repair

The Prince’s Storybook

what tomorrow may bring, what tomorrow may carry away

gift of life

Gifts of Love

________________________________________________________

Whump / Angst

The places you will be from

Come to the jedi temple in the next ten minutes if you want an asskicking

starbird

I myself have torn myself to shreds (Anakin/Padme AND Obikin)

No Such Thing as Getting Out of Hand (TW: SH, not described how it happens, happy ending)

I can’t love you in the dark

Invictus

fading to black

fathers

Of love and Recordings (Major Character Death)

falling apart

More Than Anything (Major Character Death)

Kyber Tears

Fingertips

A Certain Point of View

love is a battlefield (not a one-night stand)

Break

Always the Last to Know

Negotiation (Dead Dove DO NOT EAT situation, read the tags before reading)

For the Republic (Anidala, not as blaringly though more focused on Anakin than anything else)

The Ever Unspoken

And now we are strange (Anidala is one-sided)

amort & amor

Seeing The Truth

will it feel like the end?

your silence is deafening

Disappointment

A Price Like No Other

That Never Wrote To Me

Find me (not complete)

The Consequences of a Crash

We should run after each other (and be with one another)

Don’t be afraid.

In Fire (obikin at the very end, very slow burn and if you don’t like gore don’t read because it’s basically the entire thing)

Signs of the past (not complete)

The Rubble of Our Sins

Add a Strophe to the Poem of the World

balance is found in the one who faces his guilt

without darkness there cannot be light

when we rescue others, we rescue ourselves

facing all that you fear will free you from yourself

the wise benefit from a second opinion

somewhere along in the bitterness (not really obikin at all)

unthinkingly

Chains Bound and Broken

Care, Trust, and the Force (of course)

Continuing to Live (When I Wanted to Die)

There Growing Horns

we’ll make it to the other side

bleeding all on my own

Sometimes the Worst Decisions have the Best Outcomes

Do not stand at my grave and weep (no romance)

Ghost of Tatooine (not complete, Anidala, no obikin but they are very good friends and padme is not in it yet)

infinite sadness

Deepest Rivers

Four Walls and Two Jedi

Together or Not at All

Don’t go blindly into the dark

Halfway from the curb to the doorway

Lullaby (major character deathS, count em, plural)

my love has known yours for so long (the stars couldn’t keep us apart)

Lost and Found

from a certain point of view

angels choking on their halos (Anidala and Obikin)

Second Chances

Revelations and the Overprotectiveness that Follows

If I Don’t Remember You Tomorrow

First, Do No Harm

For Want of a Slave

The Night Will Pass (ObiAnidala)

we were too close to the stars (I never knew) (Obikin and Anidala)

the price of freedom (Anidala, no obikin sorry fellas)

Bonded

let me sooth your frayed mind

to be made right

I’m Trying

The Fall of the Master

Keep Carrying On

The Devils in the Details

where you go I’m going, there is no me without you

Chancellor’s Son

where is it?

Shame

When You Cry

bare his neck on the execution block

give us something to celebrate

The Side Effects of Saving a Life

Take all the Courage you have left

Dragons of Life and Legend

May Death Find You Alive

we find ourselves in each other

Unchained Hearts and Homes

I’m Here

Peace in a Lifelong Fight

As You See Fit

The Hunt (technically Anidala but Padme is dead from the start)

Heights

false stars offer no light

about-face

Hearts Mighty, Skins Whole

Don’t Leave Me This Way

I Didn’t Want To Break

Anxious Little Apricot

The Force Wills It

To Be Human

sear me

Forget To Remember

One More for Good Measure

Lovelorn Flowers

abandon

Smoke signals

(feel like I die) ‘til I feel your touch

In Sacrifice, Peace

Mockingbird On Fire

________________________________________________________

Redemption

A Mouthful of Ash

A Fistful of Stars (not complete)

falling up (it says not a complete series, but it reads like it’s complete)

Torn Apart, Torn Asunder (not complete)

tender like a bruise (not complete)

The Jedi Child

Afterlife (not complete)

From Darkness he Came, But Light He Chose

A Plea from the Lost to the Found

a compelling argument

You’re Still In There

Krayt’s Son

all the words you do not speak

After the Night When I Wake Up

Waiting for the Light

________________________________________________________

Miscellaneous

take my hand, have my soul

Embers: a Soulmate AU

Reading Into Things (ObiAnidala)

One touch and I Ignite

Star Crossed

The light of your beloved face (not complete)

In Pursuit of Cold Water

Against All Odds (not complete)

The World Undone

CT-Skywalker

Let me be that I am (not complete)

Sun Kissed (not complete, but it basically is)

Hourglass (not complete, but also basically complete)

with forever time (not complete)

Balance

The Will of The Force (not complete)

in an endless universe (not complete)

I Feel Like a God Right Now

The Garden

To Help Carry the Weight of These Wings (not complete)

the kids aren’t alright (Anidala AND Obikin)

It’s Not a Rule if You Don’t Try ad Break It

If You Can’t Break the Rules, Buck the System

A fool at heart

the kind that was burned first

Loves Me Like A Rock

Time and Tide (not complete)

Haunting (no romance)

encode (not complete)

Possession

Stars Above: Obikin Week 2018

Across the Darkness (Anidala and Obikin)

A Fateful Meeting

asked for and received (prompt fills) (not complete)

when the night is over

I’m Right Here (not complete)

One Lone Candle (not complete)

Rebel With a Cause

Desert Child

Wish upon a star

Till Human Voices Wake Us

Moonlight Serenade (not complete)

The Case of Republic V. Skywalker

Unconscious Design

Shifting the Blame Around

Mace Windu Fixes the Timeline ,,, And Breaks it in Whole New Ways

no other faith is light enough for this place

for blue skies

________________________________________________________

Basically Novels

Needing/Getting

Lex Talionis

Mother

“That’s it, we’re out”

Second Chances

Open Skies

Conceal Me What I Am

Only You

Wait for It

The Same Hope

Choose your words

The Middle Path

Hunting the Homeward Light

Icarus Rising

A Jedi’s Secrets

Dark Courts Light

Under The Four Moons

[seventeenlovesthree]

Do you think Koushirou x Mimi would be more plausible in an alternate timeline where they didn’t have much contact after 1999 until they’d both graduated from college and had time to mature?

I came up with a bunch of AUs where various posthumous characters are still alive, one of which involves Koushirou’s biological parents. Since Koushirou’s life would have taken a different direction from the very beginning, he probably would not end up marrying the same person as his counterpart, but I didn’t want to come up with yet another OC so I just used Mimi.

(He still goes to the Digital World in 1999 in this AU, he just doesn’t live anywhere near Odaiba and therefore isn’t as close to the rest of the team as his counterpart.)

Mh. The problem with Koushirou and Mimi in the original timeline - for me personally - is that they are so inconsistently portrayed. Tri, for whatever reason, decided to make "the crush" a comic relief sub-side-thing, but played it "safely" by not making their relationship and their quarrels significant to either of their character arcs and that was a mistake. It was shallow and unfulfilling. I still maintain that stageplay!Koumi and To Sora!Koumi have very high chances of being compatible...

However, thinking about "what if" scenarios can be interesting too.

The question is in what ways Koushirou would have been different if he had grown up with his biological parents. We don't know much about them, aside from Masami Izumi telling us that his father was a mathematician and professor at a university. Not only was he brilliant, but also into computers - and Masami puts emphasis on how similar Koushirou is to him.

I won't go too much into detail about how to characterize Koushirou, because I have done that a million times already. Nevertheless, the three main questions here are the following: 1.) Would he have turned out as kind as he is in the OG timeline? 2.) Would he still have self-esteem issues? 3.) Would he be more observant even in times when he's got his hyper-focus goggles on?

To 1.) Koushirou in general has several sides to himself, one of them being that he likes to solve problems and is quite a hands-on person when it comes to helping others. While I can see how Kae's and Masami's upbringing had a (positive) influence on his behaviour, we also know that he tried to be "perfect" for them once he learned he wasn't their real son. So part of his helpful nature may or may not be as elaborated on if he didn't have to nurture that personality trait that intensely until it became a natural part of himself.

To 2.) His self-esteem issues in the OG timeline weren't as visible most of the time, but according to the novels, he thought of himself as "a worthless human being", who simply was just "good with computers", thinking of himself as human extension of his laptop who didn't know where he came from and why. While he was always still mostly confident in what he was doing, this is still an important part of himself. Because if he didn't have to doubt his whereabouts, If he didn't have to question whether he "had been thrown away", he may have grown up to be more confident. Or not - because he probably would have been EVEN MORE invested in computers, if his biological father had enabled him even further. And we know how early 2000s kids felt about computer nerds, so he may still have had issues interacting with others. Just for different, less identity-related reasons.

To 3.) To refer back to 2, it's hard to tell whether or not it really would have turned out differently. We learned from Masami that it was only natural that Koushirou got into computers - and him having a tendency to hyperfocus probably would not have changed that much. Because that's just who he is, he just wouldn't have done it to procrastinate and prevent his brain from overthinking, but because he simply had fun with it.

Since we don't know about his biological parents' personalities, their style of upbringing, etc. all we can guess is that if Koushirou never had to doubt his whereabouts, his self-esteem issues may not have been the same. Considering how highly Masami spoke of them, we can assume that his biological parents were still good and kind people, so for the sake of this analysis, let's assume he would still have been raised well. Whether he would have been confident or still feel isolated from other people because he could "connect with them better online than in the flesh" is up to debate.

Long story short - as I had pointed out in my headcanon post, I feel like Koumi could work out well as online friends who'd slowly but steadily fall in love over shared interests. In terms of romance, I see Mimi as someone who needs validation and attention, who needs her affections reciprocated. And Koushirou might be way better at dealing with that in his own pace in written form. Texting doesn't demand his attention all the time and I think their compatibility could develop a lot better if he's got time to actually respond to her. Because even if he might still be a kind person, even if he's still ready to jump to be helpful, he still gets lost in his interests and Mimi needs to grow familiar with that attitude of his first before she can even try to adapt to it. Because under pressure, they're both NOT good at adapting. Especially not to each other.

So - give them the opportunity to get in touch online/through texting and they may be capable of getting to know each other better first, slowly but steadily, before a romance could bloom "irl".

[gravehags]

HIIII Ive NOT been online much recently cus life and responsibilities have been Stressing me tf out so my brain decided it was a great idea to send me into a 2 week spiral of "hyperfocus on other things and being half dissociated 99% of the time. and then remember your responsibilities, which stresses you out. repeat cycle"

which... Thanks Bestie.. I GUESS -_-

but we took care of the thing Causing the stress so Im slowly getting back into the swing of things lol. so how have you been? ❤️❤️

also, have a picture of Ghost takin a FAT nap

PLEASE KNOW THAT I AM KISSING GHOST IN SPIRIT AHHHHHHHHH

i’m glad to hear the thing causing you grief has been taken care of!! i am…uh…so-so. lots of ups and downs like…to the degree i can’t keep up with my fluctuating moods most days. still in treatment but generally having the anxiety of someone who is being hunted for sport. that’s nothing new though!!! thanks for checking in :)