#There's so many songs that I haven't listened to for too long and I forgot how hard they hit

[joongernaut]

glitter

⇢ pairing(s): park seonghwa x reader

⇢ genres: childhood friends to almost strangers to lovers, SMUT, fluff, a little angst but literally just a smidge

⇢ warnings: tooth-rotting fluff (i could not help myself with this one), subby-ish seonghwa because we love desperate men around here, oral sex (fem receiving), vaginal sex, cowgirl, reader gets called 'noona' once, creampie (i simply forgot to write in a condom but practice safe sex everyone!)

⇢ word count: 3955

⇢ author's note: well this took a bit longer than expected but i was able to proofread and tie up the loose ends on this fic last night and now here we are! this is also my way of wiggling into writing for ateez more as they are one of my favorite groups 😁 also the song title is based off the song glitter by jamilah barry <3 enjoyyy

✧

“Did you know your little boyfriend is back in town?”

The question stopped you in mid-sip of your cup of tea as you peered over the rim of the mug at your roommate, Hongjoong. He peered back over his own mug with a little smirk on his face and a lift of his eyebrow.

Slowly bringing the mug down you let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, I’ve only heard the news about a hundred times. Kinda hard to forget, y’know,” You bit back with a sarcastic smile, “Also, he was never my boyfriend. Why does everyone keep saying that shit?”

“Hm, I really don't know,” Hongjoong said with a shrug, taking a drawn out sip from his coffee before speaking again, “It’s not like the guy followed you around like a lost puppy before and you let him. Honestly, I’m a little surprised you two didn't tie the knot right after high school, I was so sure you would be childhood sweethearts turned old, disgusting married couple.”

Hongjoong hissed as your foot kicked at his shin from under the table, glaring at him before you finally downed the contents of your mug. “God, you all are so annoying! First, my own family and now you? I don’t care if he’s in town, okay? We haven't talked in like 5 years and I highly doubt that I’d see him anyways. It’s whatever.” You said exasperatedly, chair scraping against the floor as you got up to place the empty mug into the kitchen sink.

“What if you do see him, though?” Hongjoong asked, the question once again catching you off guard. “What if he hasn't forgotten about you in the slightest in those years you two have spent apart?” He pressed on with a pointed look, watching your mouth open and close as you blinked over at him.

Park Seonghwa, from what you recalled years ago, was a very sweet boy.

You remember the first day you had met him, walking into your elementary homeroom class clinging to his mother with a thumb in his mouth and fat tears rolling down his face as he refused to let her go.

You were only 2 years older than him but still had felt the overwhelming need to protect him from any harm. And that's also how you two became close friends.

When Seonghwa would fall down and scrape his knee or elbow, you were there telling him not to cry while dusting him off and helping him get back up. When he wanted to be like the bigger kids, who were taller and strong enough to get on certain parts of the playground, you were there to encourage him and give him a boost. And when his eyes sparkled with curiosity, wanting to learn more about this and that as he gained new interests, you were there to talk and listen to him ramble on and on about anything and everything.

That Seonghwa was the one you hadn’t seen in years. You had been really good friends leading all the way up to high school and then slowly drifted apart during that time. Once college had begun, it was like he dropped off the face of the earth and you didn't hear from him for a while.

It wasn't like you to be stuck on anybody for too long, you watched many people come and go into your life before. But Seonghwa wasn't just anybody and you couldn't help but wonder about the crybaby often and what he had been up to lately.

Okay so maybe you did care just a little bit that he had come back to town. But did it really matter? After all, neither of you really made the effort to reach out to one another after going your separate ways.

You shook your head, pushing those fleeting thoughts away before you reminisced too deeply. “Like I said, I highly doubt it.” You mumbled with a shrug before turning away, a part of you truly doubtful while a sliver of yourself remained hopeful.

✧

You were home alone the very next day. Usually Hongjoong would be the one to stay inside while you were out and about but he had run off to god knows where and he insisted that you stay at the apartment to relax. “Because you deserve it.” He had told you with a wink.

So, naturally, you were suspicious.

Not that Hongjoong was an untrustworthy person or anything but this almost, overly-nice front he had put on since this morning was just a little off-putting. Before you could really begin to question him, he had already flown out of the door and was barely responding to your text messages.

He did make sure to tell you to listen out for the door, however, as he said he was ‘expecting something’. You had almost forgotten about whatever that ‘something’ would be, hours into the afternoon, until you heard the sound of knocking coming from the front door of your apartment.

Dreading on leaving the comfort of your spot on the couch, you heaved a sigh before getting up from your seat and dragged yourself over to the door to answer it. “Hello-” You swung the door open and were immediately greeted by someone's chest in your line of vision. Your eyes traveled upward and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

“Y/N… It’s good to see you again.”

The man before you looked much different from the last time you had seen him. But even with the big and little changes in his appearance and how he seemed to carry himself differently, you could still tell exactly who he was just based on the look in his eyes.

“Seonghwa,” You gaped, still not entirely sure if you were seeing him in front of you or just hallucinating after watching TV all day, “H-How… How did you…?” You trailed off with furrowed brows as he gave you a sheepish look in return.

“Ah, sorry, this is rather impromptu of me. I bumped into Hongjoong a few days ago when I first got back and he mentioned you two were roommates so…” Now it was his turn to trail off as a small blush formed on his cheeks. You mentally cursed at Hongjoong, finally putting the pieces together that he had set this all up. You didn't know whether to kiss him or kill him.

“I see,” You muttered, reminding yourself to shoot the little mastermind a colorfully worded text later, “Well, please, don't be shy. Come in, come in.” You insisted, a smile spreading across your face genuinely as you stepped to the side for him to enter.

Seonghwa smiled back gently, a sight that made your heart soar as you saw a flash of the boy you used to know appear for a split second before he stepped over the threshold.

✧

It had been hours of just talking and catching up with Seonghwa. You had learned that he was finishing up his last year of college soon, reaching to earn his degree in astronomy, and planned to move out of his dorm and into a place of his own nearby. The university he had attended was well out into the city, roughly 8 hours away, meanwhile you had attended your local college in town and graduated with your art degree about a year or so ago.

“Definitely not as cool as studying the stars and planets, though. I’m like the definition of a starving artist.” You chuckled, albeit a bit bitterly, facing Seonghwa as you propped your elbow over the back of the couch and tucked your legs underneath yourself.

Seonghwa had turned to face you as well but a bit awkward in body language, one leg crossed over the other as his hands remained in his lap stiffly. “Ah, it's not all that interesting. Trust me. Once math is involved, then you’ll see what I mean.” He said, earning another laugh from you that made his shoulders less tense and a fond smile spread on his face.

“You were always the artistic type, though. That’s something I’ve always liked and admired about you. Never afraid to be yourself… Just being able to think of something so creatively, from a vastly different perspective than anyone else, and turning it into something so beautiful. That’s always been pretty cool to me.” He went on, leaving you a bit stunned at his words.

“Hwa…” The old nickname slipped from your lips in a whispered tone and his eyes found yours, locking onto them as a few seconds passed by in stretched silence. Seonghwa opened his mouth to speak again, hesitating at first before licking his lips, and asked, “Can I tell you something?”

Words felt like they would fail you right now so you simply nodded for him to continue. Seonghwa swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking again. “I’m really happy that you still remember me. I know that's silly to say because it's only been a couple of years but I wouldn't know how to feel if you acted as if I was a complete stranger…” He said, looking away with an almost pained expression despite the smile still on his face.

“I would never! We were important to each other back then.” You told him, scooting closer to him on the couch as you reached out to place your hand over his own. Seonghwa’s eyes shot down toward the movement, feeling the warmth of you from your body’s proximity and your fingers touching him so delicately, then back up to your face. “And now? He questioned, hopeful, as he placed one of his hands over yours and squeezed.

You squeezed his hand back and sighed. “I was scared of the same thing… that you would forget about me or pretend like you did. Or you would see me and want nothing to do with me so I figured I’d try to avoid you... But after you showed up and we talked, it feels like you never really left at all.” You admitted, feeling Seonghwa subtly shuffle closer to you.

“I thought about you almost all of the time during the years we spent not with each other, Y/N. I don't think I could forget you even if I tried.” He admitted back, similar to the words Hongjoong had said to you the other day. That had to have been something Hongjoong had heard him say when they bumped into each other and you mentally noted to punch the man whenever he got home.

Right now, however, you were going to focus on Seonghwa and what you wanted to do next.

Your hand came up to wrap around the back of his neck and he froze, his body stiffening as you leaned in close until your lips were a breath away from his own. “Tell me if this is okay. I want to show you how important you still are to me.” You murmured, the movement of your lips lightly brushing against Seonghwa’s causing him to exhale shakily.

A quick nod was all the confirmation you needed before diving in, catching his mouth in a deep kiss. You untangled your other hand from his lap and brought it up to join the one around his neck as you pulled him closer, crawling your way into his lap in the process until you were straddling one of his thighs.

Seonghwa’s body shook slightly underneath you, his hands hovering over your sides as if he were hesitating to touch. You pulled away briefly, nibbling at his bottom lip before tugging it and making him groan. “You can touch me.” You said, sensing his hesitation, and started to lick the seam of his parted lips.

He let you in with no resistance, the feeling of your tongue against his wet and probing as his hands gripped onto your waist tightly.

You licked in to Seonghwa’s mouth eagerly as you started to move forward until he was effectively pushed onto his back with ease. Feeling breathless, you parted from his mouth again to catch yourself but started to trail your lips from the side of his face to his neck where you began to bite and suck at the sensitive skin there.

“Y/N…” He gasped before letting out a whiny moan. Your eyes flitted up to his face to take in the sight of Seonghwa— already looking debauched and fucked out, and you barely even started. “What do you want, Hwa?” You mumbled against his skin and he shivered at the sensation.

“Whatever you want. You take the lead. Please.” Seonghwa replied in a strained voice, holding onto you as if you were a lifeline.

When you suddenly pulled away from him and stood up, Seonghwa shot up in panic wondering if he had said something wrong until you put your hand out for him to take wordlessly.

He kept his mouth shut and took it, letting you guide him all the way to your bedroom where you closed the door behind him with a click of the lock, officially sealing your fate together.

“You told me to take the lead, right?” You questioned once you were facing Seonghwa again, slowly approaching him. Your finger traced small shapes onto his chest as you backed him up into the bed, the back of his knees hitting the edge and making him sit down.

His ass hadn't been on the bed for more than 3 seconds before Seonghwa slid off of it and onto his knees in front of you, peering up with wide expectant eyes. “Yes. You can do whatever you want to me, I’ll enjoy anything you give me.” His tone of voice sounded airy as he uttered those words and you couldn't help but run your fingers through his hair as he leaned into your touch.

“You’re already on your knees for me… surely you already had something in mind.” You smirked at him teasingly, watching him shift under your gaze. “Can I…?” He trailed off questioningly as his eyes flickered quickly from your face to the crotch of your sweatpants and back up again. Heat pooled in the pit of your stomach seeing how eager he was to please. Eager to please you.

You tugged your sweatpants down until they dropped unceremoniously onto the floor, kicking away the article of clothing before stepping closer to Seonghwa. His breathing had gotten shallow once his eyes fell onto your panty-covered pussy, the thin layer of the material leaving little to the imagination. The small wet spot he could see near the center made his cock twitch, straining against his pants.

Seonghwa’s hands gently grazed along your ankles first, gradually going higher from there to the back of your knees and up the back up your thighs. A small shiver raked through you when his fingers traced the lining of your underwear, slipping under the band a little as he grabbed ahold of your ass.

“A-Ah… Hwa…” You moaned softly when he pressed you forward into his face and placed a lingering kiss onto your mound right where your clit was. You took a step closer to him, pressing his face fully into your pussy now, and what little hold he had of his composure immediately slipped.

Seonghwa groaned as he buried his face into every crevice he could fit into, his long tongue rolling out of his mouth so he could run it along the moist material messily. “Knew you’d taste good,” He mumbled against the inside of your thigh, “Smell good, too. I could only dream about something like this happening in real life.” He added before latching his lips onto your clit and sucking the bud through the fabric. This plus the friction of your panties still covering your pussy was enough to make your body lurch forward a bit.

The back of Seonghwa’s head was now pressed against the edge of the bed, pinned between the comforter as you began to grind against his face.

“You should've told me sooner. I think I like seeing you like this.” You told him with a breathless giggle, swiveling your hips as Seonghwa tried to follow every movement to the best of his ability. He didn't mind it. You were using him to pleasure yourself and he couldn't be any more happier.

His grip on your ass had tightened when he felt you begin to back up and you rubbed your thumb against his wrist to make him loosen his hold. “I just wanna move onto the bed, Hwa.” You reassured him and he reluctantly let go. Despite not being completely bare, the evidence of your arousal shined like a gloss on Seonghwa’s bruised lips when you got a good look at him.

You crawled onto your bed, peeling your shirt and dampened panties off before throwing them somewhere you’d worry about later, and waited for Seonghwa to join you. Realizing your lack of underwear now, he followed along until he was stripped bare and crawled slowly up the bed until he was situated between your spread thighs.

Seonghwa’s eyes stayed locked onto your own as he trailed kisses along the inside of your thigh, bringing his face closer and closer until he could finally taste you without restriction or barriers.

The first swipe of Seonghwa’s tongue starting slowly from your hole up to your clit had your legs spreading out wider for him. And when his plump lips wrapped around your clit sucking earnestly, you felt your eyes nearly roll to the back of your head as you reached out to grip his hair roughly.

Seonghwa groaned, muffled by his ministrations, and the vibration of it made your hips buck up. He unlatched himself from your clit briefly only to laser focus his attention on dipping his tongue into your hole to lap up whatever juices started to leak from it.

“Hwa,” His name came out in a shuddered moan as you placed your hands on his shoulders and squeezed to get his attention, “I really need you.”

Seonghwa’s response came delayed, spending a couple extra minutes using his tongue to simply savor your taste before he made his way up your body where his mouth came crashing into yours. “You have me, baby.” He panted between open-mouthed kisses as his hand came up between your bodies to grab ahold of his throbbing cock.

“Do I?” You smirked against his mouth, nudging his hand out of the way so you could wrap your own around his length. Seonghwa gasped lightly, bucking up into the tight ring of your fist. “You think you could switch places with me, baby?” You purred as you stroked his cock languidly. It didn't take long for him to carefully flip the two of you over and have you hovering above him.

“Fuck, you're–” Seonghwa breathed out, eyes glued to your face as you rubbed the tip of his dick through your folds, “you’re just as beautiful as I always remembered but this is truly a sight.” He said while trailing his hands along your thighs then higher up to your hips where he held onto them as you lined him up to your entrance.

The breach stung a bit once you started to sink down onto him and Seonghwa rubbed his thumbs gently into your hip bones as you took your time taking him all the way inside of you. “I’m starting to believe that crush everyone keeps saying you had on me.” You sighed out once your pelvic bone met his, moving your hips slowly in small circles as you relished the way Seonghwa felt so deep inside of you.

“Have,” Seonghwa corrected as he tried to keep himself still under your movements, twitching every time he felt your walls constrict around his cock, “I think it was obvious to everyone but you.” He licked at his lips before tucking his bottom lip between his teeth when you lifted yourself up momentarily only to sink yourself back down onto him.

Picking up a steady pace now, not going too fast or too slow, you simply enjoyed the way Seonghwa stretched you out and filled you up with every movement of your hips. A whimper-like sound punched out of him when you came back down just a little bit harder, clenching around his cock, and you cooed at the noise. “Poor baby. Am I at least making it up to you well?” You pouted at him with a tilt of your head, smoothing a hand down his chest soothingly.

“Noona,” Seonghwa whined, your body immediately stiffening at the sound of his voice sounding so wrecked, “Please, please go faster.”

You obliged without question, deciding that you would have a chance to tease him another time. You pressed your hand down flat on Seonghwa’s chest and used it as leverage to ride him the way you knew you would both love; bouncing on his dick as he thrusted upward involuntarily to meet the action.

This helps Seonghwa to go a little bit deeper, the head of his cock brushing along your walls just right until he hits directly at the spot that has you quivering above him.

You can barely hold yourself up and soon feel your arm give out as you bow your back and press your foreheads together. “Feel s-so good, baby…” You muttered while staring into Seonghwa’s eyes. His half-lidded gaze stared back briefly before pressing your mouths together in an intimate kiss.

He then caught you off guard by starting to buck up into you, almost frantically, as he wrapped his arms around your body and pressed you to his chest. “Cum with me, please, please, please–” Seonghwa begged, seemingly right on the edge of cumming.

Thankfully you weren't too far behind him with the way he had started to desperately fuck into you. And with the remaining body strength you could muster, you rode him with just as much urgency while still pressed closely to his chest.

Seonghwa had been the first to tip over, pleading over and over again until his voice became slightly hoarse. He stilled himself deep inside of you before you felt warmth filling you up in spurts, a pretty drawn out moan falling from his lips as you clenched around him tightly and followed suit.

You whimpered as Seonghwa helped you ride it out, his hands placed on your waist to help you grind down against him and giving your clit some added friction.

Feeling boneless, but most of all satiated, you finally collapsed against him as he started to rub along your back and traced over your spine. The delicate feeling of his fingers sent a tingle throughout your being that you could only chalk up to the resurfacing of those feelings you had kept hidden so deep within.

Seonghwa attempted to sit up and you grumbled in protest causing a laugh to escape him. “We have to get cleaned up.” He reasoned but you only clung on to him tighter as he rose and had you seated on his lap. “Will you stay afterwards?” You asked quietly, hope laced into your tone with a hint of vulnerability. Because now that you had him in your life again you would be damned to see him go so quickly.

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere without you again.” Seonghwa said, leaning forward to press his lips chastely against your forehead before looking at you with eyes full of love and sincerity.

Those same eyes that always held the stars in them that sparkled like glitter and reassured you that he would be right by your side for as long as you would let him.

[hypersonic04]

Maroon

this is essentially what i daydream about when i listen to this song. sultry, sexy, drunk vibes. I also haven't proof-read this so apologies for any grammar mistakes! enjoy my darlings!

Word Count: 1,984

Laughter breaks out across the room. Eyes crinkling at corners, loud obnoxious giggles, spilled drinks across fresh white cushions. There's a soft, warm glow in the room, and it doesn't seem to be coming from the dim lamps and candles scattered over every sideboard.

Matty's told some hilarious joke, as per usual, and the ripple of laughter that it creates doesn't seem to be dimming down. Tears roll down my face as I throw my head back, the red wine I'd earlier downed now making my eyes fuzzy.

The boys have come round to see me while they're in New York, and it's like we're still the same schoolkids who used to smoke cigarettes behind school together. George sat on the floor cushion, Matty (for some reason) stood at the fireplace like some kind of storyteller, Adam taking his seat in the armchair. Ross sits at the opposite end of the sofa, glass of wine in hand, smiley and presumably a bit drunk. My feet are tucked up underneath me, and I find my gaze travelling across the room. It's snowing outside, but the apartment has never been warmer.

"We should probably leave soon, you know. it's like, 1 o'clock." George pipes up, knocking back the rest of his beer and setting the empty bottle down on the coffee table.

"Oh shit, yeah. Didn't realise the time." Matty muses, glancing at his watch. "Busy day tomorrow."

"Oh, really?" I hum, looking at him. He looks older, his curls greyer, but the way he talks resembles the same 14 year old boy that used to piss me off in English.

"Yeah, SNL rehearsals, isn't it?"

"Oh gosh, yeah. I completely forgot." I nod, sipping from my wine glass.

I watch as Adam and George go to grab their coats from the closet in the hallway, already meandering their way around like the place is theirs. I smile softly to myself as I watch them leave the living room, the smell of incense and the faintest smell of cigarette smoke wafting it's way around the room.

"Are you coming, mate?" Matty asks Ross, pulling his coat over his shoulders.

"Still got half a bottle of wine." He answers Matty, yet looks at me as he speaks. His eyes are tired, dark, the way they get after a long night or slightly too many beers.

Having him here feels... strange. We left our situation behind when I left for New York, agreeing that this would never work across two different continents - it never even worked when we lived down the road from each other. He could focus on the band, I could focus on my writing, and everything would be right.

Except from when I bring someone home and he's all I can think about when their lips are on mine. Or when his favourite song comes on and it's like I can smell him, hear him humming along, feel his hands around my waist.

I swallow deeply as the staring contest between us becomes uncomfortable.

"Didn't realise you liked red wine so much, Ross." Matty quips, a smirk on his lips as he looks between the two of us.

I inhale sharply as I'm brought back to reality, looking to Matty.

"I'll see you out." I smile, standing up from the sofa and placing the wine glass on the floor.

Hugs and goodbye's are exchanged between the four of us, Matty wiggling his eyebrows at me with a smirk.

"If he's wearing the same clothes tomorrow, I'll take it as a good sign."

"Shut. Up."

I have to practically push him out of the door, closing it behind them and sliding the latch over. Breathing deeply, I close my eyes for a second. Ross is in there - Ross that was my every first imaginable, every notion of love I have, the one I forced myself to get over.

When I walk back into the living room, he's stood next to the record player, two newly-full wine glasses on the coffee table. I have to pause for a second, a wave of nostalgia clouding my mind. He looks so warm, like he's at home, brown eyes making their way across the reams of vinyl records neatly lined up in alphabetical order.

"That one used to be mine, you know?" He smirks as he points at Rumours by Fleetwood Mac.

"I think you'll find that it was actually me who bought that one. It just somehow, conveniently ended up in your bedroom." I laugh airly, taking a large glug and watching him over the rim of the glass. He raises his eyebrows and tilts his head in defeat.

Music of Matty's choice bounces around us, tinny and low from the cheap speaker. The room feels strangely full, despite having nearly emptied of people only moments ago. It's a different kind of full, almost claustrophobic, hot.

I take a seat on the floor cushion George had been sat on, my back against the sofa.

"You know, that wine's been sat in the cupboard for months. Couldn't get anyone else to drink it." I say as I see the empty green bottle next to me.

"Oh, really nice of you. Give us the cheap shit, I see how it is-"

"No, that's not what..." My voice trails off as I laugh, tilting my head back. "That's not what I meant."

"It's okay. You're right, if there's anyone who'll drink the cheapest, offy booze, it's us."

I nod in agreement, watching how his tall figure comes to sit next to me. He presses his back against the armchair, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle.

"It's nice, your flat."

"Thank you," I give him a small smile, lips pursed as I look around the room. "It's good enough."

We sit in silence for a second.

"It's weird though. Being here on my own, I mean." I chew on my bottom lip as he looks at me. "It's just... quiet."

"'Can imagine it's nice after years of being around Matty."

I laugh softly through my nose, lips curving into a smile. The way his eyes crease gives me an oh-so-familiar feeling.

"Your hair's longer." I smile, feeling the alcohol swimming around my head.

"So is yours." He observes, looking at the hair around my face intently. "It's darker. You've dyed it." He says matter-of-factly and I nod in reply.

He looks at me intently and I blush under his gaze.

"I missed you, you know." He raises his eyebrows a little and purses his lips.

"Well, I missed you too." I nod. "A lot, actually. Was wondering when you'd come out to see me."

"I just figured you'd have it all sorted out over here, last thing you'd need would be me coming and upsetting everything."

"You could never upset anything, Ross." I laugh into my wine, a foreign kind of bravery flowing through me. I take myself by surprise. He smirks at this, setting his glass down.

"Did you get a tattoo?" He says suddenly, voice chipper as he takes hold of my wrist.

"Yes!" I laugh, quickly attempting to take my eyes away from the way his fingers wrap around my wrist, large and firm and calloused. "Do you like it?"

"Love it." He smiles, and there's a look in his eyes that I can't place. Meeting my gaze for a second before looking back down at the small tattoo on my wrist, he rubs his thumb over it. "Didn't think you were the type to get one, you know."

"Why's that?" I challenge, cocking my head at him in an accusatory way.

"Too much commitment in a tattoo." He teases and I let my jaw drop, pulling my wrist away from him sharply. "I'm joking, I'm joking!"

"You better be." I laugh.

He reaches for my arm again and I subconsciously nudge myself closer to him, bum sliding on the wooden flooring beneath me. His fingertips are soft on my skin, gentle. Silence consumes us for a few seconds, his eyes fixated on the tattoo again.

"It was never about commitment, Ross." I say suddenly, voice barely above a whisper. It takes him by surprise, eyes meeting mine quickly.

"Then what was it about?" He says. His tone isn't harsh or judgemental, just soft and low, the rumble of his voice making my breaths shallow.

"I don't know, I just..." I inhale sharply and find myself blinking at him, my mouth dry suddenly.

"I know." He nods subtly.

"I feel like, like I gave so much up to be here." I start, looking up at the ceiling for a second, the burgundy paint up there suddenly feeling like it could cave in. I swallow and try to gather my thoughts, the encouraging expression on his face clearing my blurry mind. "I took it for granted - my mum, you, the boys, my job. I risked everything to be here, and I just... I miss it. I miss you."

"But look at you, look how amazing your life is. You've dreamt of this forever."

"It's not worth it, Ross." I shake my head at him, the eye contact between us intense. "It's not worth being away from you."

"Well I'm here, aren't I?"

I look at his face for a second. He's right, he is here.

"Mhm." I smile, and I know that every drink we've consumed in the past four hours is present on our faces right now.

Pink, flushed cheeks, bleary eyes, clumsy hands.

"I'm so glad you're here." I sigh, my voice quiet.

"Had to make some time out of my very busy schedule, didn't I? You know, this rock star stuff is very time consuming."

I laugh into his shoulder, remembering how I used to tease him about not making time for me when we were young and he'd have some show every weekend.

"Oh, yeah? Is it really?" I laugh, looking up at him with drunken giggles escaping my lips.

"Yeah, it is."

We find ourselves giggling like teenagers, our faces impossibly close, warmth radiating from each other. The second his lips find mine, I feel the wine glass in my hand lazily tip backwards. I gasp, the cold of the drink taking my surprise.

"Shit-" he breathes with an airy laugh, pulling back. The red of the wine soaks through the white t-shirt, cold on my skin. "Sorry, I-"

"It's fine-" I laugh as he attempts to rub it away, his hand on my chest for far too long. "You know, if you didn't like my t-shirt, you should've just said."

"Fuck off." He laughs, shaking his head at me. His eyes find my lips again, and before I can think about the stained t-shirt anymore, it's like he consumes my every thought.

He pulls me onto his lap, so I'm straddling him, his hands under my wet shirt immediately. His tongue against mine makes me inhale sharply, fingertips lost in his hair.

Pulling away for a second, I breathe heavily, eyes fixed on the pink of his lips. My thumb swipes over his bottom lip, his own dark gaze following my every move. His breaths are warm, hot against my skin, deep. He pulls the t-shirt over my head, discarding it somewhere, my chest tinted slightly red from the wine.

"Who did that?" He asks deeply, his eyes finding the mark on my neck from weeks ago. A one night stand, an attempt to fill a void, a distraction from the mess I'd made.

"He wasn't you." I whisper, shaking my head. "None of them are you."

His lips find my neck as I sigh, leaving little marks across my collarbone. When he decides he's content with his effort, he pulls away, hands on my waist and pulling at the belt loops on my jeans. His lips are puffy, swollen and flushed, and I remember why I used to call them home.

[zzzennin]

would've, could've, should've.

I haven't written anything in so long I just type vomited here, so no beta read. English is not my first language. Heavily inspired by this song.

TW: alcohol consumption, mentions of infidelity, abuse, age gap (you 18 and endeavor on his 40's) , depression, mention death a couple times too, very indecent relationship, power abuse, virginity loss, Endeavor is the bad guy, he is taking advantage of the reader. lmk if I forgot something.

You were way too drunk to be speaking like this, always being quiet and so private about your life, maybe the silence caught up on you. Maybe was seeing that stupid post on Facebook from that friend from your mom praising that perverted old man for being such an inspiration for the younger generations, a role model as a hero, as a husband, as a father.

If they only knew what a piece of shit Endeavor was.

Fresh 18, your first job was an internship actually but who cares, you were so excited about not only making some cash so you could afford your own place when college started but maybe if you're lucky you could even get a date with that new hero Hawks he was so cute and charming. A hero did actually put their eyes on you, just not the one you expected.

Now, at 27 all those memories feel like weapons pointed at your head, land mines in random places that when you forget about them they explode you back to your younger self, stupid and naive. You would be lying if you said that getting his attention didn1t make you feel important and seen. He was so charming with small smiles and little chocolates he left at your desk, the post-shift he stayed with you when you have to do tons of photocopies Endeavor made you laugh and carried all that paper for your little arms.

He walked you home, he was a hero after all just couldn't let his inter go home by herself the city is so dangerous when the sun goes down. So he took his big fancy car and drove you home listening to soft love songs, he was so handsome. Took you to the diner the first time cause you worked so hard, deserved a belly full of good food, he'll pay. On the way home, he put his big hand on your tight. Your core pulsed.

He's married, older than you, maybe is an old man thing? you thought to yourself.

But soon enough it got clear that he was, in fact, hitting on you, silly you got so happy blushing like a school girl, you were just two years older than his younger son. You wish now that you tasted like poison on his lips every time he kissed you so passionately, he would spit you out and never speak on it again. But you were sweet, a honeypot he couldn't get enough of.

So he started to consume your days, nights and all your thoughts were about him, how to please him, become better for him. And Endeavor loved that shit, the adoration on your eyes. How he got to corrupt you slowly in every single way. You begged for his time, for a drop of love and attention, and got you hooked on him. His smell, his skin, lips, dick and he fucked you so good.

Endeavor was your first, to clear the tears from your face as you lay under him in a love hotel by the beach, your parents think you went with some school friends, but you were in that dirty hotel in a faraway city with a married man taking your virginity.

If there's lucidity in death why this just doesn't die already? He broke you so many years ago and you still mourn the person who you were before him, you still fight him in your sleep in your restless nights. You still regret him all the time. Every second he happens to cross your mind.

He used, abused you, and trowed away like you never existed in the first place.

Many years later you sat in a dirty bar with bloodshot eyes while your fourth drink is in your hand and you just spilled everything out to the random person who happened to sit near you, he didn't know you anyway.

"What a fucker" his deep voice replies and for the first time in what feels like hours you get your head up and look at the man the eyes, bright blue eyes, and dark hair, half his face is burned and you are pretty sure you saw him on the news the other day. You are too tired to care, if he kills you tonight maybe this could be a closure, not a satisfactory one, but still. "you know, I live by one philosophy, think you gonna like it".

He takes a sip from his drink.

"Don't get sad. Get even"

[butter-pangcake]

DetCo OS #2: Whisky trio

Pairing: HiroRei

English isn't my first language

There's a mystery melody that Rye heard while working with the other two whiskey codenames every now and then.

The first time; after he removed his earbuds from checking the CCTV of some place to make a plan at their temporary safehouse.

Bourbon, who's always cautious to the point of paranoid; was making a soft sound in his throat as he researched on something.

The noises stopped, when Rye made a big movement. Turned to that direction and saw those blue eyes glaring back at him as usual.

The second time; Rye was almost forgot about it. But when he heard the same tune coming from hooded partner while hanging out on the rooftop, his curiosity was rising up again.

It's not unusual for Scotch to be familiar with music, because he was walking around with that white bass that once taught 'Do-Re-Mi' to his younger sister some time ago.

Unlike Bourbon, Scotch didn't seem to care if anyone heard him humming. Rye concluded to himself that, it's probably nothing to be wary of. The two looked about the same age, maybe it's just a melody from a recent hit song that he wasn't interested in following the trend.

His curiosity growing bigger and bigger.

He himself also had been in a band, playing some instruments. So, he tried putting the rhythms he heard so many times, he got it remembered into a music search application. But the results are empty. Should he go and asks; it probably wasn't much of Rye's personality, so the idea was dropped.

Until the day he unconsciously hummed that tune aloud.

The two whiskeys' reactions were clearly surprised. Almost frightened, especially Bourbon.

But they kept quiet. So, Rye started the talk.

"You two keep humming the same song, now I got an earworm" he tilted his head and signed.

"...Yeah, I got it from Scotch too..." Bourbon frowned, squinting towards the person.

"Eh...Fine, I admit I'm guilty" Scotch smiled wryly, raised both hands in surrender in a not-so-serious tone.

"Well, at least tell me the song name. So, I don't have to keep wondering what's it from" When saw the opportunity, he grasped it.

"..." Both were silent again. Scotch's still smiling but there're no emotions in his eyes, difficult to guessed what he was thinking.

It's like looking at a mask.

"Untitled. Is the name" The emotionless smiling mask looked away, then stood up as a sign not to speak any more of this.

Bourbon also did the same.

Even though he got the (questionable) song name, it didn't get any easier. Because there are all sorts of songs with the same name. There was no way he could sit and listen to each song, so he gave up and forgot about it.

.

Many things have happened over the years. He was fortunate enough to be able to keep breathing to this day.

But can't say the same to them.

One person loses his most precious friend in his life. Charge forward by his rage, keeping all the grief in his heart to himself. Alone.

Furuya Rei.

Another lost everything, including his own life. The person he hoped to save.

A man whose name he didn't even know.

Lost in thought, Akai began to softly hum a song he had heard long ago.

The sound of leather shoes stops behind. So, he turns to meet the new person. One of the people he just thought of.

"That melody..." The blonde-haired mutters.

"..." He waits for another person to continue.

"We came up with it in high school, but we haven't got a time to finished." Furuya's voice was fading, he hands over the files from the joint cooperation.

"I also...want to know its name too." Then walks away.

Ah,

Is that so...

The song isn't finished yet...so it doesn't have a name.

That's why...at that time

He replied:

[Untitled]

[suratan-zir]

long rant, very personal

nothing new honestly, I know y'all are sick of hearing the same lame story over and over again

sorry

You know how sometimes certain sounds, images or even smells can evoke some nostalgic memories from the past? It happens to everyone, right? To me, it doesn't matter if these flashbacks good or bad, it means I'm screwed either way. It's even worse when the memories are happy, because so many things are gone forever and there is no going back.

Recently I've been playing sims, and they were listening to the radio. I forgot that a long time ago I put some of my favorite songs in one of the folders, so the "Pop" station in the game has some real songs along with Simlish ones. I haven't listened to some of those songs in years.

Then that one song started playing, and an entire part of my life flashed before my eyes. I listened to that song a lot while on the road, during my weekly travels from my hometown in Donetsk oblast (where I was born and lived 'till I was 16) to Donetsk city, where my grandmother and other relatives lived, and where I attended some courses before the uni. I also listened to it on the road to another town, where my other grandma and my best girl friend lived, so I visited her every long holiday.

Why all these boring details are significant in any way?

Both intercity bus stations in Donetsk, which used to be my destination, no longer exist. "Zapadnyi" and "Pulitovskyi" they were called. "Zapadnyi" was located near the airport, so it was completely destroyed in battles for Donetsk airport back when russia first invaded us, in 2014. It wasn't even fully finished before being destroyed.

No buses or passengers there anymore.

"Pulitovskyi" station was not that far too, russian militants even blew up the bridge connecting the station with the city. To be honest, even when I lived in Donetsk, I no longer visited that part of the city, it was just too sad.

I know that it's not important on a surface level, all these places are just decorations, it's not the end of the world. But our memories, our lives consist of such decorations, random places on the map. When everything around falls apart and changes so suddenly, it feels weird and disorienting, most of the time I try to avoid direct contact with these changes, but I can't control my memory.

Fast forward to today, I will probably never be able to return to the city that I used to love so much. And my grandma no longer lives in Donetsk, she's "russian" now, along with brainwashing that often comes with such status. You already know it if you for some reason read my posts. She thinks that russia and putin are saving and liberating us here in Ukraine. I no longer call her "grandma" or call her at all, I have her blocked on my phone, our chat deleted. Funny enough, my ex friend also lives in russia now. Or so she was the last time I checked.

My other grandma from the town in Donetsk oblast left the country and is a refugee now. I have so many great memories of that town, if the russians will advance further in the Donbas (which they are trying to do) the town will become another Bakhmut, Vuhledar, etc. This is Mar'inka now, very close to the aforementioned town:

(and yes, this is a russian tank firing at a house, or what's left of it)

There was a town, now it's a lifeless desert.

I don't have that many memories, because I never had too much going on in my life. I know, it's embarrassing. Not only have I never been to other countries, I haven't even traveled much in Ukraine. My whole life until 2021 was in the Donbas region. Even my vacations were there, we didn't have money to travel. Every summer we would go to the Azov sea, which is now completely under the control of russia. What I wouldn't give to be once again on the shore of that godforsaken sea, even though I can now afford something better. I remember its smell and miss it so much. I was 18 when russia first came to my home to tear it apart. I couldn't live normally, I couldn't plan anything, I couldn't even buy furniture for my apartment because I only dreamt about leaving, and it was impossible to bring anything big with us through all the military posts from Donetsk. Years later, when we thought we are about to finally start living, traveling, enjoying everything that was taken from us for so long… yeah, you know the story.

Now life suddenly seems so short, it's passing by and I'm helpless to change anything. I'm so sick of living through this shit. Sick of the russians stealing my youth, my life, our lives, poisoning our memories, ruining everything around us.

I swear, I held it together before that fucking song started playing. I probably shouldn't post this, I have to at least disable reblogging, it's too embarrassing.

[infinitelycynical]

Your WIP sounds so good!

For the ask game:

⌛️ 🎶 🐀 🍖 🍩 🖋️ ❌

(Sorry if this is too many!)

it is most definitely not too many, i am happy to answer! thank you for the ask :3

⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP? since november of last year! there have been periods where i just stopped writing altogether, or have fervently written. i'm in a fervent writing period rn i think

🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar? I don't! there is certain music i listen to when writing sometimes (like Lamp Genso by Lamp and 0 by Ichiko Aoba, for example) but I don't have a dedicated playlist for it. i have been thinking of making one, though! a good song to describe this fic is probably 光 by hikaru utada (or simple and clean, its english version, works too). all of the music mentioned is fantastic btw if you're interested definitely listen !!

🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. oh, i'm no good at genre! let's pick romance, since this is the center of the wip: 1. there's a lot of confliction and contrast, between what love is expected to be and what it turns out to be, the ways a person can surprise you no matter how well you know them, hell, the differences in how love is shown in public and behind closed doors 2. our main characters banter a LOT, their banter is something really fun for me to write, and i'm sure it's fun to read 3. they have barriers they need to overcome - the kira case, japanese society, their own hesitations OH and i forgot but also this fic fits the opposites attract trope very well, these two are peak opposites attract

🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? as of far, two, feelings have been hurt. things will get more depressing in future chapters i am yet to write though, and it will hurt a lot more

🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing? no one has eaten anything weird yet, but who knows? maybe they'll eat something strange. best thing? yakitori, i haven't had it but it sounds DELICIOUS. they eat quite a bit of barbeque, now that i think about it, but i love steak so 🤷‍♀️

🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence. Local detective fumbles at maintaining an exclusively sexual relationship with his coworker, proceeds to deny making the romantic relationship official for eight months, then fumbles at being verbally romantic.

❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? probably the ship! it's a rarepair, and it's not like they have a horrific age gap or a power imbalance or anything like that, it's just rare which might weird people out. i am absolved of shame though and will support it enthusiastically (character development y'all!)

[snowb3rryy]

Leviathan x F!MC

The Diary

Well, I name it F!MC because this one is dedicated to my best friend, but I don't think I mention gender anywhere, so yeah.

Summary:

You decide to start keeping a diary, yet it falls on the wrong hands.

Warnings: Mentions of: Suicide, Depression, Anxiety.

This is also my first kinda angst story here and not NSFW, how about that😂😃

"Dear diary,

It's as normal as a day in the devildom is, I needed to do something to get outside this boring routine. It was eating me apart, I felt myself getting eaten by depression again. I didn't want to let it happen.

I didn't want a shopping spree with Asmo, I didn't want to team up with Belphie and Satan to prank Lucifer...

I didn't even want to stay with Levi in his room and rot all day in a chair playing games and watching shows. I'm sick of it. I used to have so much fun that way since they are my hobbies to, yet I feel a bit burned out. Maybe I should take a trip back to the human world.

No, that would be catastrophic. I don't want to return to the hell I was born in. Devildom is much better than back home. It's almost equal to commiting suicide.

What should I do? I feel helpless. I want to do so many things yet I feel like doing nothing. Wait, since there are things I want to achieve, why am I not actually trying to cross things off my list? Oh right, I don't have money, and I also really don't have the energy right now.

All I want to do is lay all day... It's nice and warm in my bed. I can listen to songs... I can daydream, I can cry... I wish I could share my comfort with someone... A spesific "someone".

Levi. Yes, Levi. The moment I first arrived here I didn't really think much of him yet, suddenly that change. Almost overnight. I want to spend time with him, I want to hug him and kiss him, I want to make love to him yet... Yet his shyness is always an obstacle I can't beat. Maybe because we both share it, maybe I'm more scared than him. Scared to hurt myself in the process, scared to trust someone, anyone. Scared to hurt him, scared of the world, scared of my feelings.

My dear diary, I write to you so long and yet I came to no conclusion once again. I still don't know what to do, when to do it... Maybe I will do it... Maybe I'm too scared for that too."

A person holding the diary no they're knees, sitting down on the floor. A million thoughts in their mind, one reaction. Tears. Tears is all they could produce, not a word not an action, just tears.

That person is Levi, he's sitting in my room, reading the last page of my diary I left open in my bed. I don't know it yet since I'm in the kitchen making sweets with Luke and Simeon.

Time passes, night is here and the dinner is served. Levi is nowhere to be seen. Lucifer asks me to get him. I roll my eyes at him, like I couldn't think of it myself?? "I'm sick of you and your arrognace Lucifer!" I want to say yet I swallow my words and go to Levi's room.

I knock once.

I knock twice.

- Levi, Come down for dinner

My voice soft, yet maybe it shouldn't since his probably playing and he has his headset on.

- Levi!

I say indeed louder this time. No response. I get worried so I open the door. No one is inside.

I am puzzled yet the worry inside me rises. I take a deep breath and try to think realistically, I try not to let worry and anxiety get the better of me. Yet I lose this battle once again.

I go to the dinning room and inform everyone. They don't seem to care. They all name a different reason. Only Beel said something actually useful. "He may be in your room" he said.

I immediately nod positively and walk to my room. There he is, sleeping on the floor with swollen eyes and a notebook in his arms. No, not a notebook. My diary.

Why did I need a diary? What for? Did he read everything? Am I exposed? I don't like it when others know things about me that I haven't allowed them to!

Panic and my ego disappear when I see his eyes once again. Was he crying? Did I read something bad that I forgot about? Or... is he feeling bad for me? No way, that's not it. He could never. Not because he's unable, no. Because I'm not worthy of it.

I sit by him after I cover him with a blanket. I smile and move his hair out of his face. His so cute, so adorable. I want him, I'm in love with him. Why did he have to read my diary?

A few hours pass but I haven't manage to sleep, and I slowly see him wake up. His eyes slowly open and his face turns red when he notices me. Typical.

He tries to speak yet none of it makes sense for the first seconds. I let him taje his time. He takes a few breaths while looking away from me and he turns at me when his ready. Face red, covering his mouth as he speaks.

Levi: MC... I, I'm sorry I never meant to read your personal things! Never! Please don't hate me for it. I know it's bad I know I messed up I know you're mad but I didn't meant to hurt you.

Then it hit me. He's in the same boat as me. Scared, shaking, I see myself in him yet in the same time I see a whole different person. I smile as I realise what I have to do, how to get out of my routine.

- It's okay. I shouldn't have let it open, don't feel bad alright? No need for that. Just.. well pretend you never have read it alright?

Levi: I want to but... I-i'ts hard. All these things you wrote... all these things you feel... Why did you never speak to me?.. To, to anyone I mean! Not me specifically, like anyone you know?

He hides away again and I smile, he always has that effect, that innocence that won over me.

- My thoughts are mine, and I don't won't to share them. But since you did read them, just know that... Everything will be fine... I think, or at least I'll try. Levi, I can't lie and I don't want to. I've been in a dark place and I don't think I'll escape it soon but, you can heal me or help me but you can make the process hurt less. And i want to do the same for you, to help you beat your problems away.

Levi: H-how?

- I wanted to do this for so long.

I hold his face and I close my eyes as i lean closer to him, touching my lips on his. Softly, with care and a bit of love that's missing from the both of us.

Levi's eyes get wide open and i feel his body tremble. He really didn't expect it.

- Too much? Maybe I should have hugged you first and then.. do this

Levi: No no, it's... it's fine really. Does this mean that... you too... see me as more than a friend?

I simply nod, not wanting to appear more embarrassed or anxious than I already am.

- I want us to do this, to try beating our dark side together, hm? What do you say?

Levi tries to find his words but when he fails, he shakes his head and kisses me. Now that was unexpected.

Levi: This is the energy I had for a week, be greatful.

We both laugh, and i get him in my arms. This day ended better than I though.

Take a look at this story on my Ao3 too<3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52806115

[sleepwrites]

hey! if you're taking requests, could you do an angst to fluff with Leo (rottmnt) x male / gn reader?

Something with how the reader is talking about something they are really interested on, and Leo acts like he's not listening (saying things like how the reader sounds like Donnie, how boring it is, etc) which bothers the reader so they just excuse themself and leave. Later, Leo gets worried because they haven't been responding to his messages and goes to the reader only to find them moping around in bed. Not crying, bit still sad and bothered. And then the fluff proceeds! If you can somehow do tooth-rotting fluff, that would be great, but any fluff'll do :) Thanks!

Aww this sound adorable! I had so much fun writing this!

Card games and Apologies

Leo x male!reader

It was a fairly normal day for you. Go to school, shove information into your brain because you forgot to study for a test and finally head to the lair and hang out with your boyfriend.

On the way you picked up a packet of this card game you were really into, planning to open it with Leo once you got there.

Making your way out of the shop and sucking into an alleyway with the manhole that you’ve used to get to the lair so many times.

After a climbing in and a bit of walking you greeted Mikey and Raph who were having a mario kart tournament.

Once you got to Leo’s room you stopped just short of entering.

“Ohh Leoooo, guess who~” you said in a sing song voice, a familiar voice greeted you back.

“Hmm, could it be? My lovely boyfriend?” Leo answered back, you giggled with delight, you could tell he was near the door.

“Yeah thats right! Can I come in?” You asked. Leo opened the door and pulled you inside, twirling you around as he did.

You both started laughing as you flopped onto his bed.

“Ah, Its been too long Y/N! How’ve you been?” He asked swinging his legs onto the bed.

“Great actually! I wanna show you something,” you said, looking around in your bag for the card pack.

Finally you found and started rambling about how the game works, different strategies, a couple of trades you did with these kids at school.

You looked over to Leo, gauging how interested he was in.

He was ‘sleeping’ and snoring quite obnoxiously. He opened his eyes and smirked. “Sorry you just sounded soooo much like Donnie I did what I normally would!” He teased

You pouted, this was just like Leo, so why did you feel so bothered by it? “Yeah, whatever, I just remembered I have a bunch of homework, see ya,” you said, attempting to get off the bed.

Leo grabbed your hand, trying to pull you back down. “Wha- come on Y/N! You just got here!”

“Leo, let me go,” you said not looking at him. “Y/N, I’m sorry!” He said, tugging on your arm a bit harder.

“Leo stop! Just STOP!” You yelled, storming out of the lair, tears already streaming down your face.

——————————

You laid in your bed, the sheets were messed up and you hugged a pillow close to your chest.

Suddenly, you heard a tap at your window. Scrambling to untangle yourself from your sheets you went to the window and unlocked it.

“Hey love, you feeling ok?”

Leo had a melancholic expression on his face as he climbed through your window. You shrugged not meeting his eyes.

“Hey, look at me please? I wanna say something and it would be kinda hard without you looking at me, handsome,” Leo took your chin in his hand and tilted your head upwards.

Blush dusted your cheeks at his comment and you smiled. “You wanted to say something, blue?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel bad, I just got caught up in a joke and I didn’t realise just how much you liked the game,” He smiled at you.

“And I’m sorry I stormed out like that,” you rested your head on his plasteron, wrapping you arms around him.

“I love you, Leo,” you whispered.

“What was that?” Leo asked. You said that out loud?!

“Nothing!” You said, smiling innocently. Leo then pulled out the card pack you left at the lair. “Maybe this will convince you,”

You eyed the pack before snatching and, kissing Leo on his cheek and saying “I love you Hamato Leonardo,” you said smirking.

Leo smirked back. “Aw, I love you too sweet cheeks,” You raised an eyebrow. “Sweet cheeks?” Leo shrugged “Sorry, that sucked,”

You kissed him for just a second before ripping open your cards. “Nah, sounds cute,” you said filing through the cards you got. Leo stared at the cards curiously.

“You wanna learn?” You asked, holding up one of the cards between your fingers.

“Of course, sweet cheeks,”

[chumpovodir]

tagged by @the-crow-binary! (this was a few days ago, but i just got a bit of free time to answer properly. also doing a new post so as not to clog up the OP)

--

Favorite Color: Sage green :3 very calming, versatile colour. i love it so much, i've made a concentrated effort to incorporate it into my everyday wardrobe, and even had the walls of my room painted in this colour. one day i'll actually put together an outfit with nothing but this colour and go out in public for a laff~

Last song: y'know i don't recall exactly atm, but it's most likely 'They Who Govern Reason' from the Octopath Traveler 1 OST. have had it on repeat during my commutes and while working. i hesitate to use the word 'epic', but that's precisely how i'd describe it - really pumps me up, as does the rest of the battle/boss music from OT1. give it a listen:

(i have no business enjoying this song as much considering i leveled my party to like. lvl 70 before ever learning about the extra sub-jobs. let alone unlocking them by defeating each boss. lmao)

Currently reading: nothing atm. i'm hoping to pick back up where i left off in the original Bram Stoker's 'Dracula' before this year's edition of Dracula Daily catches up to where i left off.

Currently watching: also nothing lmao. i have a long list of old anime i'd love to check out though, and the last one i had open, but haven't started yet, is 'Dirty Pair', an R+ rated anime from the 80s. actually idk why i'm putting off watching this that sounds amazing

Currently craving: like a good 2-3 months off work. paid, preferably, but i'd skip the money in lieu of just having the time to let my brain marinate in nothingness for a bit. also this one chocolate brulee cake from a local restaurant chain

Coffee or Tea: coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. my day ain't right if i don't get my morning coffee, preferably iced to really get that energizing feeling. tea is nice too, but admittedly i only really enjoy the milky or fruity ones, with the exception of green tea. nothing hits quite like a glass of ice cold, straight green tea on a hot day.

A hobby I'd like to try: too many. ceramics. sculpting in general. stained glass making. embroidery, knitting/crocheting, beadwork, quilting, needle felting. all the textile arts. anything tactile that uses my hands basically. edit: cannot believe i forgot to mention INSTRUMENCE!!! any kind really, but i've always rotated piano, guitar, saxophone, and harp in my head. hoping to give the harp an earnest try, if only because it's on the more reasonable side wrt to floorspace and storage

An AU you've been plotting: not necessarily plotting, but i keep coming back to my one Castlevania AU where Alucard wakes up post-CoD and him and Hector meet up. many implications for the story going forward, and it's fun to imagine them all.

--

think bc i answered this a bit later, everyone i had in mind to tag has already done theirs, so i'll just open this up to anyone that wants to try it out :3

[flickeringflame216]

tagged by @holbytlanna and @mrgartist17! thanks friends! (If I was tagged by someone else I forgot to include here, thank you too :))

Three ships: Dawn Treader, Dolphin, and Putnam (from Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, and Carry On, Mr Bowditch, respectively)

Last song: Oh...hmm. I listened to audiobooks today...So it was probably "In the Secret" (Andy Park) when we played it last night for youth worship :)

Last movie: Ooogh....I haven't movied in too long. The Secret of NIMH, I think, or possibly the Lego movie with my family. (thanks riley! pro tip: bother your friends when you consume media so you can remember later that you did).

Currently reading: So many books. All the Light We Cannot See, Howl's Moving Castle, The Looking Glass Wars, The Screwtape Letters, 1 Peter, and probably more I'm forgetting.

Currently watching: Nothing at present, though I've been wanting to watch Prince of Egypt again.

Currently consuming: Water!

Currently craving: Long conversations with my favorite people

If you'd like to join in, @lightthewaybackhome @and-learn-to-let-go @whilewewereyetsinners @called-kept @through-hallows @daisywords @fairytale-lights and anyone else who wants!

[bookns]

My love of music started with Sabrina Carpenter...

I didn't grow up with Taylor however Sabrina Carpenter was such a prominent person in my youth. My big sister used to play her albums, such as Eyes Wide Open and EVOLUTION were on repeat. She was 11 at the time, and had gotten into the routine of playing Sabrina every morning which I remember, my younger self despised. "I will never like Sabrina Carpenter" I remember vividly thinking. However despite my petty self, I fell in love with her music and her voice. Girl Meets World was one of my favorite shows growing up, having long memories off watching it after my bedtime. Almost Love was, I think, one of my own first Sabrina memory. I remember trying to copy her dancing, and still to this day I remember them. I have this very ancient memory of using this song in my 13 years of age not at all understanding what it meant (now I'm older I have a way better understanding). Singular Act 1 was the first album I was obsessed with (but more on that in a second). Eyes Wide Open just reminds me of being 13. Specifically Can't Blame A Girl For Trying, I have so many memories of listening to that song and knowing that song was my very first favorite song. I listen now, and realize how truly innocent this song specifically the lyric "even if I always end up crying..." I cried about the boy I associate this album with. I remember sobbing. I remember listening to Too Young and convincing myself I was not too young. I remember listening to the Middle Of Starting Over in my first year of middle school. I remember really relating to the idea doing something right this time which in my 13 year old self mind was moving out of her childhood room tuning into the room that soon would be the place I sought out comfort for. I have memories of listening to White Flag, and feeling sorta giggling and giving up. I have an odd memory of looking out o the car, as I was being driven home, and this song (specifically a lyric video because I didn't know what Spotify was) was playing and Too Young played too Best Thing I Got reminds me of him, the stupid boy I still see. Actually hearing this song for the first time in years I forgot that A) it reminds me so much of Christmas music B) how relatable I found these lyrics. This sounds like my 7th grade English class where I would stare longingly at that stupid boy. Your Love's Like was one of my favorites, I remember. "I just need a little taste of you and I" I remember his eyes were, and still are such a prominent memory I have. "It's like Paris after midnight," was my favorite lyric because I had always wanted to go to Paris. I now have spent a week in Paris and I just want to hug my younger self. I haven't heard Seamless in years. I used to listen to it so often and remember my former best friend. She and I grew up together, and because of her distancing herself back when we were a little younger, this blog was created. I remember not being able to listen to this song when we stopped being friends, and how it was on repeat when I felt like I was losing her. Looking back I was just a tad bit dramatic, but still hearing Seamless's first lyric that is "good morning" remembering how we had Chorus first period. We sat next to each other, and I remember getting jealous that she was making new friends in that class. I remember seeing Girls Meets World with her and we both loved it. I was Riley, and she was Maya. She had a rough childhood with only her single mom and her two older siblings, and so I remember her really resonating with Maya. We're no longer friends, however I still post about her, my Dorothea. Too Young is something I also still post about, and yeah I was too young. My girlhood felt stolen, however I stole it back. I love Sabrina to this day, and she is as familiar as the scratches of my 13 year old self's diary.

EVOLUTION YOUR NEXT...AND YOUR A GOOD ONE

[plutoprophecy]

9 people you would like to know better

This sounded really fun so i did this as soon as i could :))

Thank you for the tag @xyrnys !! 💖

Three ships: had a hard time deciding bc i used to read/watch a lot of stuff when i was younger, so i had a lot of favourite pairings...and then forgot most of them. My top favourites are Bagginshield (i hyperfixated on the for like. A whole year. It was insane), Dinluke (i just. have So Many Thoughts about them) and Seirei (aka Serizawa and Reigen, my favourite pathetic office men <3)

First ship ever: ok i am showing my ass here but listen. Cringe is dead. I am on tumblr the weirdo app I don't care anymore. My first ever ship was. Germany and Italy from Hetalia. I read so many hetalia fics on wattpad it has caused irreparable damage to my psyche </3

Last song listened to: Exeunt by The Oh Hellos, it's such a good song!! I recently started going through all of their discography and my god, i love The Oh Hellos so much they're incredible

Last movie watched: Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead from 1990 bc my best friend recommended it to me. Didn't like it that much, tho, it was a bit too boring for me :(

Currently reading: Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson (still haven't finished it rip)

Currently watching: the Mandalorian s3. Watched the first episode and based on what i heard about the rest....idk if i want to continue watching :///

Currently consuming: hyperfixating super hard on Star Wars (and also crying about how good it could be if it was actually good lmaooo), Mass Effect: Andromeda (it's a really fun game, even if it has some big faults lol) and The Adventure Zone: Steeplechase (Justin is SO good at worldbuilding holy shit. Montrose has me in a chokehold tbh he's such a fun character)

Currently craving: hot cocoa and long, uninterrupted sleep

I tag (no pressure tho!!): @mertensia @melodyshmelody @havent-the-foggiest-mate @highonairtm @gayteensupreme @capitalistboyfriend @bastardraccooon @dpurut @sansxfuckyou

[bonesandthebees]

EXPLODES I LOVE IN LOVE WITH A GHOST SOOO MUCH OHMGYOD THANK YO UFOR REMINDING ME ABOUT THEM I FORGOT ABOTU THEM

i love "flowers" and "we've never met but can we get a cup of coffee"

I WILL BE ADDING THOSE OTHER TWO TO MY QUEUE RN THO TYTY

omg have u heard "how many stars are there" by idealism, that one's one of my fav lofi songs, also "clover breath" by mum child (man i haven't listened to lofi in so long aaaaa i love lofi <3 also fun fact i . always called it low-fee and just found out last year that it's pronounced as low-fie and i feel betrayed honesty KJFDSKJ)

YEAAAHH THE LOCAL FILES IS SO ANNOYING I HAVE TO LIKE TOGGLE ON AND OFF THE FEATURE BC IT WILL JUST STOP WORKING FOR NO REASON

also bee that photo of the nice snake is so precious i want to cry that literally just made my day, my drops are watered, my plants are thriving, that is beautiful, he's just a silly guy :( eueueu

(also omg i keep forgetting about filtering tags will do that o77)

that sounds so yummy yayy!!!! mmm i love bread rolls sm omnomonomom

YEAHHHH YOU GET ME!! 'we've never met but can we get a cup of coffee' is so so good too. I think one year I was in the top 0.05% spotify listeners for them bc I had this one lofi playlist that was like. 90% their stuff that i would just listen to on loop when I was studying or writing

I had to pull up how many stars are there and yes! I have heard it before! but I never saved it to any playlists :( however I do love idealism with nagashi and controlla being two of my favorites of theirs. never heard of mum child though. just listened to clover breath and it's very pretty!

i'm so glad you enjoyed the nice snake he also made my day he seems like such a polite boy

(and pls filter your tags it will make tumblr so much more enjoyable for you)

anyway everyone else. go listen to in love with a ghost if you're looking for lofi their stuff is so good

[exalok]

i completely forgot about this!!! sorry @leviamares tagged for an ask game :D

last song I listened to: uhhhhh lullaby by the cure (but before that it was also bella lugosi's dead, somehow -- i saw a post and wondered what it was???)

fav colour: my favorite color is the contrast between orange and bluish green. a single color cannot retain my attention long enough

currently watching: our flag means death >:') crying about it. screaming about it. giggling madly about it

last movie I watched: oof uh probably the human voice by almodovar? right after strange way of life by same, both in one go

currently reading: the god is not willing by some guy whose name i forgot, first tried the series preceding it but my mom only had it in french and i got really frustrated by all the interesting characters never getting a focus at the very start of book one so i stopped. hoping that figuring out all the stuff i haven't read about will be enough to keep me going

relationship status: friendship time

current obsession: DISHONORED. CORVODAUD. AAAAHHHH

last googled: probably bela lugosi's dead, actually

current project: TOO MANY AT ONCE i am writing i am drawing i am finishing a big clay bird

TAGGING UMMMM @screwtheprinceimtakingthehorse, @amazinmango, @retired-crow, @queenstardust, @average-kim-enjoyer.... okay five is good i think. as usual don't feel obligated!! this is purely for fun

[aplateoflasagna]

My thoughts on Batter Up by Babymonster

First things first; I really liked it! It's a good song and I'm happy to see that most people agree. Of course there is critisism, but there always is when big 4 groups debut (though I agree big 4 debuts should be held to a higher standard because they have all the money and connections)

The song is good. I'm not going to call it 10/10 because there are some things I wished were different, but overall I'm very satisfied with the result. It's catchy and it will still hold up when they are further in their career.

The chorus is a bit empty but it grew on me after a few listens. I do agree it sounds a bit too much like Lisa's Money. It sounds very much like a YG song (which is good for me because I love the YG sound), but with that, they kind of failed to let Baemon have their own unique sound right from debut. I remember YG stating that WINNER's music needed to be completely different from BigBang because they were YG's new boygroup and he wanted them to be unique and that worked. Now Baemon is getting compared to Blackpink and I understand why. It might be too similar to Blackpinks music which is a shame because the Babymonster members have such unique voices and they don't sound like BP at all.

And that's my second regret with the song. Their unique vocals don't stand out enough because there isn't enough singing in the song. They sing in the pre-chorus and that's kind of it. The verses are talk-singing and the chorus is empty. It would have been cool if they debuted with a bside that showed of their vocals more. (something RnB!)

The rap was great! I'll have to wait for Hyunsuk to go on Weverse live but It does seem like he wrote Ruka's part and Asa wrote her own rap. I'm happy Asa was able to fit her fast style of rapping in the song. I really love it alot.

I like the YG ending, I like that it's a song fans will be able to party to and chant to together with the members at the end. It has a fun vibe that's shown with the members smiling while performing the choreo in the MV (especially Chiquita!)

The MV is fun and, just like the song, will hold up well in a few years. It's a bit all over the place though, it's like they wanted to show as much as possible and forgot to make it narratively coherent. It's lots of cool sets that don't really have anything to do with eachother. I do think the the two themes in the MV were clearly 'Youth' (the classroom, the school bus, the uniforms, baseball) and 'New Beginnings' (Batter Up, the broken egg, the broken cage, the defrosting of the ice (I'll admit that one's a stretch lol). I'm happy it's so crowded though... After watching the teaser I was really worried it would be like 3 sets in a white void, so I was relieved watching the MV

The best scene is definitely Rora's flower scene. She looks absolutely gorgeous and she stole my heart 🙈

The outfits are all great too. I don't have a single complaint, they all look fantastic in every scene!!

They haven't shown the choreo much, but I'm not really impressed by what is shown in the MV. That doesn't really mean anything though. There have been many instances where I ended up loving the choreo if I saw it performed in full.

Spreaking of performances, will Baemon even go on music shows for Batter Up???? Apparently they aren't attending Inkigayo this week?? There has been no confirmation for any other music show performance and in december lots of music shows won't be broadcasting at all...

I've been a YG stan for quite a few years now and time and time again my patience and faith in the company is tested I swear to God. I have long learned not to get my hopes up, but only giving bare minimum promotion to your first girl group in 7 years seems a bit much no?? I really hope this is not the case and many more content is to come, but honestly I wouldn't be surprised it there wasn't.

There are many thing I probably forgot to talk about, but this is most of it. I miss Ahyeon, I think this concept would suit her very well and if she ever rejoins the group she would fit in perfectly! Nevertheless I'm very proud of the records Baemon has broken already. Most watched kpop group debut MV in the first 24 hours ever 👑 + most watched Kpop group MV in the first 24 hours in 2023 🏆

Congratulation on debuting Babymonster! 👏👏👏 I hope we get to see a live performance very soon 🙏

[shonpota]

Hiding

Yakou yawned for a bit then he realized he was all alone in the owner room, it was already late and he just finished all of his paper works, "Sleepy.. ". He yawned and looked for anybody.

There was nobody else in hall, everything is so quiet like it wasn't real.

Yakou turned off most lamps then a pair of hand caught his waist, "Ooh!??" He turned his back and giggled, "Sotetsu!! Left anything here?". Sotetsu shook his head and grinned, "Hoo.. Not at all. Why?". Yakou then confused while he let Sotetsu held his dainty waist, "Nothing, everyone just left. Starless is very big, we can fit 1 or 2 more people!!" He said in excited tone.

"Nope, not a chance. There will be too many mysteries here, Yakou. We haven't solve anything. Now we have to go somewhere far, alright? Kei told me to pick you up. Go listen to old songs." Sotetsu looked at dining room and sighed, he gave his phone, "Put your number there too. Don't tell anybody else~".

Yakou nodded and put his phone and listen to old songs using soundproof headphone, "OLD SONGS ARE AMAZING!" he was so dazzled and excited. "I want to have it!". Sotetsu laughed, " Wait for me in the car, ok? There are snacks. I forgot I have something else here.". He then took him to the car and dropped him inside. Yakou nodded and sat there while watching old shows and eating snacks.

Sotetsu then drag someone from locker room and punched him, "Everyone hides well huh, I almost can see you." He sighed and tap each lockers, "Nice job, everyone.". Maica kicked the door and sighed, " This is the first time we fought a mob without any voice. Where's Yakou? We made sure nobody else escape here.".

"In the car, luckily we soundproof the car and haseyama office." Sotetsu laughed and waved his hand, "I asked him his number too. He will be fine." He then wrote his number and gave it to Maica, "You can keep it too. We have to know each other and everyone.". He then took out a card from the guy's pocket, "Envelope with Black Card? It must be these guys. Gui, dispose him. Kei is busy dating Saki tonight, so we are by ourselves.", Sotetsu watched Gui dragging the guy to a car and left with Akida. Maica shivered, "I know that, I know Black Card.".

"Oh anyway can we cook something for everyone's lunch? Kongou is away, we can just give it to him to correct the taste." Sotetsu snickered and walked to kitchen. Qu came in and made pudding with Kasumi, "Chia seed pudding huh, Sotetsu? Yakou might be bored right now." Kasumi scolded Sotetsu for leaving Yakou too long. Sotetsu then sighed, "Ah.. Fine. I will go home with him, maybe he need to stay with you guys too.". Frowned, he walked to the car.

Yakou was quietly asleep in comfort of Sotetsu's car seat, he curled up while hugging a jacket. Sotetsu was flustered and laughing, "Everyone can't resist that you know? You look much more innocent than Hinata." He ruffled his hair and drove home. Yakou was still asleep and used Sotetsu's jacket for blanket, it was big for him after all.

Maica sent a message about feeling uneasy leaving Yakou to him, Sotetsu then video called him and show Yakou during trip back to home. Maica and others watched it while talking. Sotetsu turned on the radio and sang lonesome old songs. Yakou rubbed his face to the jacket and made small sneezes sometimes, it seemed like he caught a fever, Sotetsu lowered the volume and checked his temperature,

"Hey, he is having fever. Maica, can you come and take care of him tomorrow? I have to guard mysteries in Starless from wrong people.". Maica groaned, " Aahhh i want to shop tomorrow, but fine..". Sotetsu sent him the address, "Man, I have to move out once Yakou is healed."

Yakou opened his eyes and curled up further, "mm.. I don't feel well.. I want to take paid holiday.. ". Aogiri watched the call from behind, "... Uh, Maica? I might be able to take care of him.". Maica refused, saying it is too early for Aogiri to buddying up that fast.