#They're not monsters but they're not humans but they're not exactly just dogs either - just little creachurs haha

[sysig]

A very normal scientist doing very normal gene splicing experiments (Patreon)

[sugar-grigri]

What is a family?

Hello everyone, I'm in exam period so we're going to start with a very short analysis

We saw in the previous analysis, in chapter 152, that Denji wanted to be a CSM and that suffering, mental and physical pain, was inherent to being a CSM. Suffering was a claim for the protagonist, that of accepting his suffering to the point of finding pleasure in it, that of accepting that experiences can be painful, of not being protected

Especially by Nayuta, the control devil who can only conceive of happiness with one person, and that's enough for her.

But above all, I think that since Denji had accepted the fact of committing himself to the path of suffering, he didn't want Nayuta to join him, hence his desire to keep her away from him.

But what this chapter shows is that a family can't be chosen, it's simply there.

People do what they do, always projecting all their frustrations onto CSM, this faceless chimera. CSM is as much a good-luck charm as a match to be burned for bad luck.

Denji's dream of being seen was full of meaning, because what people see in CSM is precisely their suffering and despair.

Yes, CSM represents suffering - yes, you have to suffer to be him, just as he will only evoke suffering for others.

The contract with the fire demon was simple: become what you want. As he had suggested to Yuko, the thought-hearing monster was suitable for a socially eccentric girl who had trouble understanding others.

So when people try to burn CSM, they're burning what they want CSM to be: their suffering.

The lighter was an image that had already been introduced by Barem, who ironically presented himself as a CSM fan, foreshadowing the fact that many CSM fans had pacted with the demon of fire, fire capable of destroying them in return.

Burning CSM to make the wannabe CSM disappear always comes down to the same logic: CSM is there to save, whether this is done by reigniting him or by killing him.

So the fire is there to atone for the suffering, Denji simply tries to tell them that the fire is already there, burning down his apartment and his Meowy family and the dogs.

Why burn Denji? When he's already burning. He has already lost a part of himself.

Denji proclaims that he seeks suffering because he wants it to be his alone. He realised that even if he stopped being a CSM, those close to him would continue to be attacked as if the cycle had never been completed.

Denji has never had any confidence in himself, obediently following the rules laid down for him every time. Nayuta's rules, which symbolise this apartment, didn't work, and neither did those of the public hunters, because even if you respect the contract, suffering will always be the end result.

So Denji tries to free himself from all these rules, because they don't allow him to escape suffering.

He also tries to free himself from his loved ones, because it doesn't allow them to escape either, but humanity won't let Denji be free.

Denji had made it clear that he didn't want to hurt mankind because he wanted to preserve the last link that bound him to them: the kiss he had with Asa (Yoru). He doesn't want to belong fully to the demons, as Nayuta had recommended, but why not become one after all?

Denji loves violence, even against humans. He likes it because he is still CSM after all, a monster whose raison d'être is suffering. Yet the link that allows him to consider himself still on the other side is a simple kiss that didn't cause him any pain.

Because this kiss is exactly Denji's life, a touch of pleasure in an existence that is always painful. A boy who can't even say he can't betray humanity because he has friends because he has none.

Nayuta has never thought of her existence as separate from Denji's, the reason for her happiness, her beloved big brother. So she is now facing her worst fear: being cut off from this dearest of beings, being rejected by him.

But as they try to keep her away from her ailing brother, telling her he's no longer her family, she realises that this thing that rejects her, that hurts himself horribly, is still her family.

More to the point, it's the person behind this faceless monster who's reaching out to him, because CSM isn't a being capable of embracing with his chainsaws. Denji's arms are outstretched to him, as if he's standing between CSM behaving like a monster and his own anxieties: there's an obvious love there. She shouldn't see her fear in the foreground, what she should see is Denji.

This thing that dares to cut ties with her, to put itself in danger to the point of suffering so much, has never ceased to be her family.

The only way to see anything apart from CSM, apart from this figure of suffering, is to love Denji.

is to see the boy behind it.

A boy who can't stop laughing despite suffering, in a way that may be terrifying, but which gradually gives the impression of a brother forcing himself to smile to avoid putting his sister in danger. Look, I'm crazy, so stay away from me! And I don't want you anyway!

His laughter is as uncontrolled as his gestures, all acting as reflexes to keep Nayuta away from danger.

CSM is a being who belongs to neither world, hero of humanity when it suits them, hero of the underworld terrified by his fellow creatures, he is held responsible for both worlds, the suffering of demons and that of men.

But Denji may not belong to either world, but he does belong to a family.

Denji may not be seen by people, but he has been seen by a demon who loves him deeply.

The hero has always been hunted because he has never been accepted by humanity, suffering while swallowing that of others, he has always had to be rekindled, to serve someone once again.

And finally he's given permission to run away.

No CSM, don't swallow the suffering of others

It's hard enough to swallow your own.

Denji, you are loved by the demon of control who now agrees to do something unnatural for her, to allow you to escape her control, her vigilance, her protection. Because she knows she doesn't have to lock you up in a gilded cage to be able to find you.

A family always waits with open arms, don't they?

[eldritch-spouse]

How would the TCE boys hold up in a zombie apocalypse?

Putting aside the fact that Krulu and Miara would never let that happen.

[A zombie apocalypse setting is very intriguing, because you have to ask yourself a series of questions here. Are there only human zombies or monster zombies too? What properties do monster zombies have in particular? What has started the apocalypse? How does it spread?? It'd take so incredibly long to piece this all together coherently. So I'm going to go with something quite generic.]

TW: Mild gore; Unsanitary acts; Mild angst.

Morell has a very unique skill in this bleak scenario. Provided the zombie isn't too old, Morell can probably cook it in a way that still provides some type of nourishment and doesn't infect you. Or maybe it does... Just a little bit at a time. Maybe that's why he's been a little more bloodthirsty and twitchy lately. Is that a dark patch spreading around his cap? Zombies have began to avoid him, perhaps because he's a freak even to them. A zombie that eats zombies...

Grimbly is not having fun. But for one reason only mostly. Undead blood doesn't taste good, and it hardly sustains him. Depending on the scope of the invasion, he may die of starvation, or simply have to target survivors. Otherwise, he'd likely have an easier time avoiding zombies due to his speed, and killing them likely isn't that big of a hassle either. Grimbly could make a living wiping out groups of zombies for people and getting paid in blood.

Gallon would move to water bodies and mostly remain there. Zombies are sluggish in water generally. Slimes can remove nutrients from a surprising amount of things, so his biggest fear Iis only getting distracted enough to get bitten, and that the infection starts rotting his slime too fast for him to regenerate in time. He's so alert he's going vastly insane and extremely murderous towards most.

Santi is... Existing. He fucked a few zombies, don't judge him! Some of them are entertaining and clean, others just kinda... Well. He doesn't really find them to be ideal meals. Especially when he has to crush their jaws and break limbs so they don't infect him during coitus. He doesn't exactly feel threatened, but he does feel lonely and always a tad hungry. He's waiting to attach himself to someone and gain a steady stream of food, preferably someone weaker so he can act as their guard dog. Please he's so tired of limp zombie dick and lumpy pussy. They can't even suck.

Vinnel is getting a little too silly with it. Zombies can't pierce his suit, it was made by a God, after all, no rotted teeth and claws can ruin it. So he just floats around, picks some of them up and performs for absolutely no one but himself. The jester has put clown makeup on at least five zombies. They have names and they're his best friends! Except Pogo, the little shit keeps tearing the tutu off. Ungrateful fuck. Not everyone has the privilege to look good during the apocalypse, Pogo. Vinnel is also always starving to a degree. He doesn't kill survivors anymore out of desperation for genuine conversation. Most people just run from him.

Nebul, as an undead, has nothing to worry about. He will actually weaponize large hordes of them using his abilities as a wraith. Nebul is a creature to be feared during an apocalypse. He's likely the mastermind behind organized zombie attacks. His goal? To establish control of sizable portions of land and inflict total submission on those living he comes across. It may devolve into an apocalyptic cult. He's having a grand old time really! You may find him walking around with several bare humans in leashes crawling by his side. Somehow, someway, Purpur can eat zombies and be perfectly fine.

Patches, likewise, is not a target. Except he's less preoccupied with domination and more so trying to fight his instincts to put the living dead back into their graves. It's strange, his dullahan instincts don't usually react like this to other undead... He's holed up somewhere like a hermit, trying to study the source of the infection and keeping Stitches from exhausting himself in an effort to kill all zombies. Curiously, the sound of his yelling as a dullahan causes great confusion and fear in these particular types of undead. He has succeeded in controlling at least one zombie, but killed it shortly afterwards.

Belo is devastated, like any angel ought to be watching the Earth get populated by corruption that Dorem ought to have fixed. He kills most zombies he comes across and cannot be infected as far as he knows. Zombies avoid him, actually. Belo spends his time finding groups of survivors and attempting to help them fortify their bases. After all, they're all that's left... Even if they're demons, anything is better than those rotting husks. In a way, Belo feels as if he's been abandoned a second time, his existence is vastly miserable.

Sybastian is having a strange time. The zombies that have a fainter sense of smell don't pick up on him when he mimics them, the rest do, forcing him to be very careful. He's not having an easy time considering his method of dispatching zombies is very physical and he could get bitten in zones of his body that he fails to harden. Sybastian has lost many a mimicling to the apocalypse and lives mostly to protect the remaining ones, who have managed to survive alongside him. He too wants to find a group, in spite of adult mimics not being pack species.

Fank-e is having a... Boring time, mostly. He's not a target, in fact, he's loud and grating enough to drive zombies away. He doesn't need food or water. But he does need maintenance, so it's imperative he finds someone who can work in robotics minimally well or he'll perish eventually. Truth of the matter is he can't exactly die from battery loss, he may just lie dormant collecting moss and dust until someone with enough resources finds him. It's just as likely that he'll get torn into pieces and reused as armor or plating for other important machinery.

[bogleech]

What are your favourite dragon quest monsters across the entire series?

The first Dragon Quest Monsters game I've ever gotten to play wound up being the first one to leave out exactly the top three I looked forward to getting:

GIANTSLUG/MAULUSC: I'm pickier about slug and snail creatures than you maybe expect but I love the vapid drippy zombie face of the DQ slug. It perfectly captures the appeal of a slug as a monster, a mindless gooey thing that will just eat you without a care. And its classic color scheme is that of a Banana Slug!!

BELZEBUB: I am also picky about fly creatures; usually I want them to have the proboscis present in some way, and the correct number of wings (two). There's something I still love about the toothy mouth of Belzebub however, maybe the way it curls up between the eyes? It just does a good job capturing the feel of a fly's personality I guess.

DARKEYE/EYELASHER: eye creatures can also very easily feel a bit boring to me because I've just seen so, so many of them, but DQ's basic killer eyeball appeals to me a lot with its irregular fungus-like collection of tentacles. The little root branches on "top" are especially cool to me, and sometimes they're the bottom, because they represent where the eyeball attaches to either floors or ceilings! In a few games, they're even encountered as parasites inside bigger monsters!

I used to admire the guidebook to the first two DQ Monsters games as a kid but never had the games themselves, and never got around to any other DQ titles. I just spent my whole life waiting for just the right one where I'd finally get to assemble my three favorites, then finally this new one comes out and has to be the first time these three took a vacation :( But, Dark Prince was at least nice enough to include exactly my next three favorites in the franchise. I went over them already in my DQM Dark Prince post but some people will see this post first so I will have to reintroduce them:

DROHL: droopy flappy membranous mollusk guys, honestly horrible looking in a great way. In 3d games it turns out their helmetlike head spirals in the back like a snail shell! Apparently they're meant to be troll-like beings.

LUNATICK: just a blue fleshy sac thing with gooey antennae, a bunch of tentacles (most of them segmented like worms!) and a little eyeball, perfect, no criticisms, also reminds me of what Berserk considers an "Incubus:"

(Don't worry, Berserk Incubus aren't sex monsters but monsters that give you nightmares and feed on the fear)

TAILEATER/MAD MOLLUSK: I love how pathetic their front face looks, and the whole shape is so pleasantly reminiscent of an abyssal sea cucumber of some kind.

SKULLROO/GUAARDVARK: I didn't even realize this was one of my top favorites until getting it in Dark Prince. It's an unpleasant wrinkly fat aardvark kangaroo thing that just always carries a human skull around. Its profile says they collect them and the one they carry is their favorite! A lot of slightly lower favorites were also left out however, none of these are in Dark Prince but are very high up there to me:

PYURO: what is this thing? I don't know! Different games have categorized it as an insect or a plant. It's a furball with five eyes encircling a butterfly proboscis, two little legs and a big huge ring of flower petals behind it. Very xenobiology.

TONGUELLA: it's kinda like a dumpy, hairless sloth with an aardvark tail with a mushed-in dog face and a giant gross tongue. I guess I just like foul moist beasts. I wish this was a real mammal we had in the world, I bet it'd smell terrible. Feels like a perfect counterpart to Guaardvark.

SLURPERON: it's one tiny pitcher plant with a giant tongue and then it has cool reptilian eyes at the bottom end. So simple and so rad! A fun way to stylize a pitcher plant monster without ripping off Victreebel.

SICKLER: is a little tiny mantis in a robe, like the Tonberry from Final Fantasy but a mantis

RAGIN' CONTAGION: a newer one, a gooey vaporous cyclops ghost that represents disease. In its first appearance as a boss in the series the English localizers decided it should talk like Yosemite Sam. Sure why not!

So I like the new game and it gave me some new favorites like Skellyfish and new appreciation for some others, but oddly it only has my very middle all-time faves

[quitealotofsodapop]

Thought: Wukong and Erlang are actually super chill with each other but PRETEND to hate each other around strangers so no one starts asking inconvinuent questions like "Hey, why did you let so many monkeys on FFM go if you were supposed to burn the place to the ground?" And so they end up having conversations like:

Erlang: Seriously? Your successor had the same name as my dog? Dude, that's so funny.

Wukong: I told you, it's not the same, they're spelled different!

Erlang: But they still sound the same.

Wukong: Gods, you're so-

Erlang: Hey, someone's coming, get in character!

Wukong: UNBELIEVABLY PRETENTIOUS! I HATE YOU WITH ALL OF MY BEING!

Erlang: NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU, MONKEY!

Mac: Guys, chill it's just me.

Definitely.

You see... Erlang was a big brother-figure to Wukong when the monkey started working for the stables and later the orchard. But they had a Big falling out because of the celestial war, the ensuing fight on FFM, and the capture that led the Monkey King into the Furnace.

Even with an uncomfortable reunion in Jttw to fight the Nine-Headed Monster - Erlang and SWK's brotherly bond still holds. Wukong knows that his bro wouldn't have burnt FFM unless no other miltary option was available to him; in Wukong's mind it was either the fire on the mountain, or it would have been complete annihilation of his fellow monkey yao from Heaven.

Fun fact: one chinese media theory I read mentioned that Erlang's "mercy" to the monkeys of FFM was likely to warn/evacuate them before the fires were set by Heaven - hence why so many monkeys survived and why Wukong welcomed him with open arms later on.

Even with the following debacle of "The Lotus Lantern" (a tale which Erlang Shen was the antagonist, though not without reason), the demi-god and monkey yao still consider eachother brothers.

The issue in the modern day, especially in the LMK verse? Status in Heaven.

Erlang and his sworn brothers were barely considered mortal mercenaries to the Celestial Realm before the war. Afterwards though? He became a Heavenly General. Outclassing even the Pagoda King in military respect. It was an insane promotion for the demi-god. He's now working directly with his uncle, the Jade Emperor, and is privy to the true cruelty the royals can dish out.

And exactly what the Emperor and Queen Mother think of his brethern.

To reference the most chilling scene in animation history (Prince of Egypt):

Jade Emperor: "Oh my boy... they were only mortal."

Erlang Shen can't risk the world knowing his true thoughts. How much he cares about his wild little brother. How much he actually knows is going on.

Yang Jian doesn't want to lose another sibling.

So yeah, in public the two pretend to hate eachothers guts. Only the Plum Hill boys themselves + Xiaotian Quan actually know that the two meatheads are thick as thieves. It takes Macaque a while to understand why Wukong dares to associate with the man who "burned our home". But a few incidents in the coming years leads Macaque to realise that the all-seeing God is deliberately ignoring some intel that could have spelled disaster for their new family.

Erlang (has the Third Eye): "The Harbringer's presence is still lurking on Earth. You, the Six Eared Macaque have been returned to the world of the living after so long. Not only that, but you and the Monkey King are living in secrecy among demons and humans alike raising a child of unknown powers..."

Macaque: *poised to start fighting*

Erlang: "...It's none of my business either way. Congrats on the baby, and your reunion as well. Bro would not stop talking about you when he was drunk." *leaves a baby-shower gift*

Macaque (has lie-detecting ears): "What the..."

Btw Erlang is def the type of (sworn) uncle to unironically get MK a dog toy as a baby shower gift. ("What? You'll thank me when he starts teething.")

[whumpshaped]

cast of my robot story (i made 2 of every big hierarchical level but obviously theres like. More lol but i figured i wouldnt rly need more than 2 of each? maybe i wont even need that many. as u can tell i dont know what the fuck i wanna do)

picrew

two of the members of the seventh earth council, the group that controls the spaceship and literally everything on it. it's funny they're called that, none of the members have seen earth with their own two eyes. it's been a long time since any human has walked on that planet...

levendula (she/her), dorel (he/him)

two of the techies. the tech department is where all regular folk want to end up at. there's a very slim chance anyone could get into the council, it almost functions like a royal family — but the tech department? well... okay that kind of functions like that too, the children of techies usually end up as techies, and there's little class mobility otherwise. BUT there's a bigger chance for any regular person to become a mechanic than to become a council member!

they handle maintenance work on the spaceship, on the equipment, on the robots, they write code, they design new and improved versions of any sort of tech. they enjoy much more personal freedom than regular workers.

kikinda (she/her), szoren (he/him)

two of the workers. the workers are manual labourers who handle all the work the techies haven't yet managed to automate or don't have the resources to automate. farming, mining, all that stuff. backbreaking labour. on top of that, they get paid very little, and now with the new SSRCU models already created, they're HOUNDED by the stupid bots too.

kara (they/them), hanga (she/her)

i chose hungarian names/spellings for all of them, if you wanna know exactly how they're pronounced please use a translator app because my phonetic spelling SUCKS. but i think they're all very straightforward :)

rambling about zaps copied and pasted from discord:

so about zaps. the tech guys call it zaps 100%. affectionately (mostly). its primary and default disciplinary action is administering shocks, and well, sometimes it goes haywire and just shocks a bunch of people at the workstation. hence the name.

the workers usually refer to it as anything derogatory. the thing, the beast, the monster, the attack dog, the painbot, the warden. officially though they address it like they would any superior, with either sir or ma'am. but they rarely have to (if theyre good <3 )

council members refer to it as the bot, or if they need to specify theyll say the serial number, 01.

zaps' full official name is self-sufficient riot control unit or SSRCU-01. it was the first of its kind and its been around the longest

[cynopter]

Orange Peels on Fire: aka Townsend lore

because someone asked: here's a big dump of stuff about the story Townsend is from, i.e. the narrator of Choker!

Major TW for suicide/hanging, and obviously OCD.

Also, heads up that it's a really silly, REALLY emo story about ghost hunting lol.

Townsend is the deuteragonist of a (really extremely unfinished) story I had, that was provisionally called Orange Peels on Fire (opof). I started working on it when I was watching a lot of Demon Slayer, and it was basically my attempt to create a cast of shounen anime characters who were all girls but look exactly like the typical shounen anime protagonists. (I mention Demon Slayer because I took a LOT of inspiration from that - at times I described it to people as a shitty lesbian Vietnamese Demon Slayer knockoff... wow it's like it was made for me!!!)

A lot of lore is super wishy-washy because I did like the OG concept art in 2021, then I just kinda fucked around until 2022 when I revamped it for a screenwriting class. I don't really consider either version more canon, but I did a lot more work on the screenwriting version so I'll just describe that :P

Setting

It's set in post-apocalyptic US (either Virginia or like California but I couldn't commit because I've never seen California). A lot of the human population is gone - old civilization is being reclaimed by nature and the surplus oxygen means that there are also giant bugs now who take a lot of the niches previously held by mammals (like mice, dogs, deer etc). The oxygen is also how I campily explain away people being able to do epic anime jumps and stuff lmao. This, plus global warming, also means that the middle of North America now has a sort of tropical climate.

The part that actually matters is everyone in the US lives in tiny villages created out of suburban neighborhoods, and they're constantly having Ghost and Monster Problems of some nature because society has forgotten how to properly bury the dead --- and also because that apocalyptic event 100-or-so years ago caused so many ghosts to be created.

Phượng Lê

The protagonist is Phượng Lê, an 18 year old girl who can see ghosts. She's a triplet, with a living brother (Thanh) and a stillborn sister (the titular Cam / "Orange") who she's always seen as just a normal sister because she's a ghost that lives with them.

(All three of these characters are from a depressing realistic fiction short story I wrote, which I personally consider to be their "true" versions, but I imported them into this because I thought it'd be stupid and funny to turn a story like that into a shounen anime lol)

This is what Phượng looks like! (modern on left, old on right)

She's struggled with depression her whole life, partially because everyone thinks she's a sad and delusional pyromaniac for acting like she has a living sister (whose bones she keeps in a box) and for burning stuff to send it to her. Because of that she puts a LOT of stock in Cam's happiness because keeping Cam's ghost kind of cost her everything (including her parents abandoning them etc).

Cam's remains get stolen one day and long story short, Phượng and Thanh end up traveling around the country trying to solve ghost problems, scooby-doo style, in pursuit of the person who stole them. There's like a different category of ghost every time, based on Vietnamese folklore. (And if you're wondering, Cam's bones are valuable because stillborn baby remains can be used for evil magic, which is of course what the evil people in this story want to do).

That finally brings us to...

Townsend! (aka May Hoàng)

Townsend has pretty different lore between 2021 and 2022, but again I'm going with the latter because I've spent more time on that.

In the story:

She's a self-proclaimed "evil ghost" who haunts a tree at the edge of town. Phuong comes to her to ask if she's seen Cam; Townsend is surprised to meet a human who's friendly to ghosts.

She lightly antagonizes P & Th (in what is later revealed to be an attempted suicide-by-cop type thing) and runs away from them a few times before finally deciding to join their team. (In some versions she has to pretend to be human to deceive Irene, the secretly evil lady helping P & Th out).

Originally I had her birth name as Townsend - in the most recent iteration, this is a nickname Phượng gives her through this miscommunication:

She's the only member of the team who can actually, you know, touch ghosts? (Except when Phuong goes all danny phantom on their asses but I don't need to get into that).

Despite this, and despite the fact that she constantly threatens to kill people*, she basically bursts into tears at the thought of enacting violence on people/ghosts, so she ends up just serving as their strategist **(as the only one who isn't kind of dumb lol).

* Her catch phrase is basically "Don't touch me, i'll kill you." This is really emo lol, but what you find out eventually is this is actually a warning and not a threat.

**Specifically, because Thanh is the only one with absolutely no ghost powers, he has to use weapons made by Phuong, and because Phuong is like the main character, Townsend and Thanh have to work together to strategize & fight in the background. That's a whole arc because Townsend is a coward who doesn't want to be in fights, and Thanh doesn't trust Townsend because she constantly threatens to kill him and Phuong. Fair, I guess.

Townsend's backstory:

She's supposed to be this fundamentally irrational character, who eventually becomes a love interest of Phượng (they're both lesbians) but still never brings herself to stop antagonizing her whenever they get too close. After months and months of working together, Phượng finally gets Townsend's backstory:

She was originally a 17-year-old girl named May Hoàng, who lived in a town next to Phượng's. She suffered from something that we would in modern times describe as OCD, but had since been forgotten by society because of the apocalypse (rip). Her family was Catholic, and they didn't think much of her earlier obsessions (except that she was being annoying), but when she confided in them about her newest obsession about dropping and strangling her baby brother, Meri, they confided in the church - and eventually all the townsfolk came to believe she was being influenced by the devil.

May's parents kept trying to work with her, but eventually she ran away to hang herself.* In some versions, instead of going through with that, she conveniently gets attacked by a hangman ghost (which is how I really loosely translated ma thần vòng) right before that, who strangles her and she still dies. Fun!

*This is what's described in the beginning of Choker. In the original version, she runs away on the back of a giant-giant american millipede, as depicted on the cover, and that becomes kind of a faithful steed that they can all ride around on later.

Either way, what she didn't realize (I guess because she's Catholic) is that if you hang yourself and nobody finds your body, you turn into a hangman ghost, and can only pass on if you strangle a living person to take your place.

So..... obviously that's not going to happen.

Phượng & Townsend

May died about a year before the story starts. She was kind of hoping Phượng could just exorcize her, but because it takes about 3 seconds to realize May isn't actually a threat, Phượng refuses to do that.

Instead they kind of fall in love (shipname Phuongsend if you're wondering lol), and they eventually figure out she's just mentally ill and reinvent ERT or something.

Meanwhile, because of both Cam and May, the whole team is looking for a way to turn ghosts back into living people. I never decided if they actually succeed, but honestly I don't think they ever will. May committed suicide and that's just not something you can undo.

As foils

They both care a lot about each other, but that's despite (or maybe because of?) some very conflicting values. There's a little undercurrent of each trying to change the other's morals.

Phượng's mother abandoned her and Thanh because of her obsession with her sister, Cam, who was stillborn and never even got a chance at life. She's only leaving home now to find that sister and maybe even bring her back to life.

From Phượng's perspective, May HAD a shot at life, and somehow thinks she has the right to get it back even after squandering it. May also loves her baby sibling to death, but her idea of protecting him was to run away forever --- and to Phuong, that's just about the worst thing you can do to someone you love.

They were both treated as heretics, but Phượng reacted by getting a superiority complex and starting to hate everyone, while May still thinks everyone is fundamentally good, except herself. Phượng is (technically) a younger sister and constantly pushes back against Thanh's overprotectiveness, something May sees as disrespectful and scary, as an older sister who spent years obsessing over Meri's safety. Finally, Phượng's violent tendencies/occasional anger issues are something May sees as a big moral problem.

And.... that was a LOT. I'm not sure if I'll keep this post up honestly because there's still like a TINY chance I'll adapt this into something. But for now enjoy the lore dump :P

[venusmage]

Do you have any D&D (or TTRPGs in general) pet peeves? I follow a lot of TTRPGtok and would love to see more of your opinions as a GM! Your game and players seem really cool!

Thank you!! I say this lovingly, you must be on ttrpgtok if you like D&D Hot Takes. I think sometimes the hot takes are a little too frequent LOL (though for me 99% of the time it's actually just people being super fun and chill)

But sure! I actually don't have many? Pet peeves, that is. But the ones I do have I've always had -- it generally comes down to less the community itself and instead certain habits or jokes that became an unwritten "rule".

Playing a character whos ancestry is inspired by non-human creatures like they're literally an animal. I'm talking about dragonborn here because they're my favorite D&D ancestry (and I'm also a big elder scrolls fan and that fandom does the same thing with argonians)! But I see it with tabaxi/minotaur/kenku etc. also. They're just people! Play them like you would a tiefling or elf or human!! You can give them certain characteristics of course (like for me dragonborn have some bird-like vocalizations and movements)...but they're people. That have jobs and families. They're not monsters, or dogs, or "feral" or whatever. It just bores me immediately, I much prefer to let them be fully developed 3D characters like any other. It's actually one of several reasons why I don't like lizardfolk very much (as they're canonly written). I think they play exactly into that stereotype.

Flipside , people who make furry jokes if you play a non human character. That's just being boring and unfunny.

The other is specifically w/ my fellow (usually American) LGBT D&D players …but not every gay person who makes a tiefling or a cleric has "religious trauma". Even though it's a joke it gets irritating. I'm not Christian and Christian stuff doesn't appear in my games. No one at my current table is Christian, either. I am Buddhist, though, so just because you see religion or spiritualism in a negative light doesn't mean I will. And there are plenty of non-Christian/non-atheist players who must be as bored of that trope and joke as I am. I think in general religious =/= Christian needs to be understood better and it's an important differentiation.

[undercrowns]

@loveisworry tagged me eons ago to list nine books that I like/would recommend. I'm finally reading again so here we go, vaguely sorted fiction -> non-fiction:

The Thief, Megan Whalen Turner: I think it's best to go into The Thief knowing as little as possible so I won't say much about the plot, instead I'll say that MWT is truly a master at using structure and form to convey character and narrative ideas! THE heist novel of all time. Also these books make you insane so there's that

Piranesi, Susanna Clarke: Honestly one of the books of the decade. Extremely different from Jonathan Strange if you've only read that one; it drops you in the deep end from the first word which I always admire (try not to know too much about this one going in either. In fact I'd mistaken it for a completely different book at first and kept wondering when the House was going to turn into the magical school I thought the book was about). Features many topics that interest me: the self as an idea and the mutability thereof, buildings that are maybe alive and maybe love you, loving and caring about people even when things suck so bad

Watchmaker of Filigree Street/Lost Future of Pepperharrow: Natasha Pulley I love you. Do you want to learn a lot about clocks while also losing it as everything goes in the wrong direction. You should. I'd recommend all of Pulley's books (still trying to get my hands on an ARC of the new one!), but Pepperharrow is my favorite of the bunch; I felt every available human emotion reading it and potentially a few others. They're all also SO funny to me while also making me cry multiple times. (originally read these after they appeared on many @lotstradamus rec lists, truly thank you)

Lives of the Monster Dogs, Kirsten Bakis: I don't know that I've ever read anything quite like this book and I have a tough time explaining it. I wrote in my rec to a friend that it's about being nostalgic for something that was painful for everyone involved, but at the same time held so much genuine wonder. Also about trying to understand your place in a world that has no place for you. I don't know what else to say; I loved it.

Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel: I love a SCHEMER I love INTRIGUE I love to feel a creeping sense of inevitable dread spread out over three books! Hilary Mantel was simply a genius

The Multitude, Hannah Faith Notess: I debated what (if any) poetry to put on this list and in the end I went with The Multitude simply because I think many people haven't heard of it and Yoshi: A Pastoral is one of my favorite ever poems. beloved i will wait for you / always in the roadless shade

H is for Hawk, Helen Macdonald: I came to this a few years after it was popular so maybe everyone has read it already, but I think it's a lovely meditation of grief and nature and how sometimes you just have to pick a (very specific and maybe odd) thing and do it to get through life

Fighting at Sea in the Eighteenth Century, Sam Willis: I love an extremely niche book and I LOVE boats, particularly tall ships. This book was basically made specifically for me, in that it's clearly a labor of love by someone very knowledgeable on a topic that I'm already interested in. If anyone has recs in this vein (about ships or not) please send them my way!!

On the Death and Life of Languages, Claude Hagège (Tr. Jody Gladding): Another of the niche topic books, this time about how and why languages die out and the ramifications of their loss. I haven't read the original French so I can't comment on the faithfulness, but the translation is wonderfully done imo. Some turns of phrase I'm still thinking about

Honorary Mentions: The Lymond Chronicles, Dorothy Dunnett (only read if you're willing to be in over your head but if you are!!!! they are a masterpiece) The Locked Tomb series, Tamsyn Muir (very polarizing books, I'm obsessed), the Temeraire series, Naomi Novik (dragons fighting in the Napoleonic wars largely featuring the Navy, tailored exactly to my interests)

tagging if you want @valentinetexass @veryspecificfantasies @unrealcities !

[aotopmha]

Chainsaw Man episode 2:

I think the element with the most potential is actually the wierd relationship between Makima and Denji.

Episode 2 introduced what seems to be our core cast, but I think the roller coaster of feelings Denji went through at the start of the episode was the highlight.

Denji has a sense of what good and bad relationships look like, but because he has had a pretty horrible life and few (to no) relationships, the moment he recieves any kind of kindness, any kind of critical thinking in a relationship goes out of the window. He doesn't have much of a sense of nuance for feelings.

Power and Aki are jerks/crazy to him, so they're crazy (and to be fair Power absolutely seems exactly inside as she is on the surface) and he seems to at least understand Aki better after the confrontation with him, but Makima is nice to him once (also because she has boobs), so she's nice, when in truth she is kind of treating him like a dog.

Positive reinforcement via reward: warm clothes, food, nice words.

The most emotionally genuine she seemed was when she hugged him, but even in that scene I got the sense there is a clear cold wall in there and no real genuine warmth behind her actions and Denji isn't seeing any of that.

I read her as super emotionally detatched and that makes sense considering what her job is (and if that's the correct reading I'm curious what made her that way however simple of complex that might might be), but this is also leaning into a stereotype that can be taken into some really annoying directions: women are just cold, manipulative assholes/crazies leading men on.

But it could also go in a way where Makima is treated like a human being by the narrative even if she is manipulative while Denji also learns that chasing boobs is the shallow thing, but also that Makima is actually kinda using him.

There's a scene in episode 2 where Denji feels like even if his dream seems to have come true, there is something missing in his life.

That something is probably not boobs, but a genuine emotional connection with someone and with the info I have 2 episodes in, right now Makima either has a massive wall or nothing in terms of a genuine ability/wish to connect to people emotionally.

Denji is essentially one of the horrible monsters humanity is fighting, but something also tells me Makima's lack of empathy might be separate.

And as said that can be spun in wierd directions (women are cold monsters for not taking care of men's feelings, wierd mysterious creatures whose only purpose is to be manipulative/cruel etc).

But I'm hoping for both complex Denji and complex Makima.

Complex messed up/wierd relationships are one way to get me invested in a story.

And as also said this one has potential and I hope the story does something interesting with it.

[sharkfish]

i would like to read these ace fics for spite

ace fics from my bookmarks! i am probably missing some because there are many ace-related tags and most people use one/some but not all, so it's not always easy to track them all down.

as always, please give the author some love via kudos and/or comments if you liked the fic!!!

Aces by Flatcoke - 32k

The first time he comes into the shop Dean is pretty sure he is a hallucination brought on by his dry spell and accompanying month-long porn fest. He has seen this guy’s whole profile. He’s seen the whole profile so maybe his brain automatically imagines his face on every dark-haired guy he sees now.

Or in which Dean's newest patron also happens to be his favorite porn star, and how is going to get through grad school when all his blood has headed down south?

For Science by shiphitsthefan @shiphitsthefan - 6k

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

Grooming Instincts by jemariel @jemariel - 26k

There's something going on with Cas. Dean is determined to help him through it, in whatever way he can.

He might end up with more than he bargained for.

OR: Dean helps Cas scratch an itch. As it were.

Halflings by Unforth @unforth - 103k

Ever since his wife Lisa died, Dean Winchester has been willing to do anything for his son Ben. When Ben decided he wanted to adopt a halfling, Dean said yes without hesitation - provided they did so the right way, by giving whichever half-human they decided to bring home the respect and dignity it deserved. Half-octopi Castiel isn't exactly what they were looking for in a pet, but, then, they aren't exactly what Castiel was expecting for owners, either.

Keeping You in Sight by gingerswag - 136k

Castiel valued his solitude, and was happy to stay hidden away in the mountains for the rest of his life. But when his seeing eye dog dies, that solitude is suddenly broken when Gabriel shows up not with another dog but an actual human slave. Castiel doesn't believe in slavery, but he can't turn away the very hurt and broken man he's given.

Lover by casbean @casbeanwrites - 27k

Dean knows that Cas doesn't like him. They're not even friends, not really. But Dean can't help it, he wants to be around Cas, he wants to be his friends, he wants... more. But he has to respect that Cas is just not interested.

It's not until Cas gets into the first heat of his life in front of him that Dean is faced with the fact that maybe, just maybe, Cas doesn't hate him at all.

Sparks by vipjuly - 21k

The creepy house on the corner has been abandoned for years, everyone says. It's ramshackle and decrepit, the yard overgrown, the wrought iron fence bent and broken in some places. The adults in the neighborhood have asked the city to do something about that eyesore for so long, but the city insists that someone is paying property taxes on the house, therefore they cannot do anything about it.

So, everyone ignores it and pretends it doesn't exist. They definitely don't go anywhere near it, either.

Dean, though.

Dean is drawn to it as if by gravity.

Little by little, Dean repairs what he can. The monster inside the house ain't so bad, either.

Y'know. For a monster.

The Unclean by TheIttyBitty - 53k

Dean should know by now to expect the worst when his brother calls him in the middle of the night with words like, we have a situation on his tongue. Still, he's more than a little surprised when Sam asks him to take in a young man recently rescued from a cult. Castiel - malnourished, abused, and afraid - might be more than Dean can handle, but someone's got to do it. Dean searches and finds a bright, loving man buried under those years of abuse, and he'll do just about anything to help Castiel feel whole again.

Triquetra by Ltleflrt @ltleflrt (dcj) - 46k

In a world where magic is common, there is an institution known simply as The University. It has the best teachers, the best library, and the best location no knows where. But that's what the portals are for, anyway.

Teacher Jimmy Novak, and Head Archivist Castiel Novak, have a unique relationship that is generally tolerated by staff and students, minus a cruel word of gossip or two. Otherwise, life is easy, work is fulfilling, and their world is quiet. Only the students change, and that's fine.

Until Dean Winchester joins the faculty and everything else changes.

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[boldlyvoid]

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It

Criminal Minds x MINDHUNTER AU

Spencer Reid x Margaret Carr (OC)

Part 1: Ed Kemper.

Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

warnings: graphic details of a real rape and murder case, like every trigger in the book, applies to this fic so read with caution (if you watch either show you're used to it, however), it's all real and did actually happen and I don't support any of it. strangers to lovers, mutual pining, flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr's daughter, her bio father is Jason Gideon

word count: 3.9K

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having fun teaching.

He started with guest speaking, moving to special seminars a few times a year. But he wanted something more, settling for a 7-week criminal justice elective of his choosing.

Intro to Criminal Minds: why they did it. Giving Spencer an excuse to share the most intimate facts about serial offenders in a setting where no one could tell him to shut up.

14 students total signed up for the two-hour Seminar, taking place every Thursday at 11 am from September until Halloween. Over the 7 weeks, he would explain the fascinating insights of the most successful killers in the United States. Only asking that his students write about a prolific crime they find interesting by the end of term, for their full grade.

All he wanted was to read about obscure killers from around the world, from the perspective of aspiring profilers.

The first Thursday, he came prepared with his coffee a half hour before the class. He wanted to write the main points on the whiteboard in advance, nice and neatly.

To his surprise, a student was already there waiting for him. "Oh, hello,” he smiled softly.

She was sitting with a book in her hands, she pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him as he walked in. She was older than his typical student, around 35. Probably finishing up a degree or adding something to what she already had.

"Hi," she smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m early, I was visiting my mom at Quantico earlier.” She explained. "I'm not a teacher's pet or anything. Promise, I’m not even a student.”

It made him laugh slightly, correcting him like she read his mind. "It's okay, I'm Doctor Reid," he introduced himself softly.

“Margaret Carr, Peggy is also fine.”

"Pleasure to meet you," he said quickly before focusing his attention on the whiteboard.

He could feel her eyes on him the whole time he wrote, not wanting to turn around and catch her. "That's so interesting," he heard her mumble under her breath.

"Hmm?" He turned around.

"It's just that, everyday occurrences that never phase the regular person somehow cause psychopaths to kill," she read the board back to him.

"I was reading a study a while back about how psycho killers medulla oblongata is approximately 19% smaller than the average human’s. Based on the way they're nurtured as children affects if they grow up to kill. The ones that don't often end up in law enforcement and other positions of power where their psychopathic tendencies can come to play."

He was taken aback for a moment. He had never experienced a student who was like him before. Someone who just pulled facts into conversations like it was nothing.

"I read that as well," he smiled. "It is fascinating. The smallest amount of bullying and abuse from a mother or disappearance of a father figure can set them off."

"Or, on the other hand, there are people like Ted Bundy," she added. "He was well-loved and taken care of, but it went to his head. His god complex and affinity for lying led him to be incredibly charismatic and enabled his killing."

"You're very educated on this already; are you just interested in hearing me speak today?" He asked, not wanting her to leave, finding it interesting that she was there.

"Oh," she blushed. "I was going to talk to you more about it after the seminar actually."

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you,” he felt a little giddy at the prospect.

"Thanks," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'm a big fan of your teaching style, I saw a few of your classes when my dad was teaching at the academy in 2005. It's a lot easier to remember facts if the lecturer genuinely loves what they're talking about."

"You're going to like this Seminar then. It’s basically just a way for me to get paid while unloading all the random facts I have,” he warned her with a smile.

"I know." She smiled back at him.

The rest of his students filed in slowly. By 11 am, 14 faces were staring back at him.

"Hello," he waved awkwardly. "I'm dr. Spencer Reid. For the last 12 years, I've worked with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Catching serial offenders across the country."

He took a deep breath, letting the nerves find their way out of him. "I've been asked time and time again who my favourite serial killer is, which is a peculiar way to phrase the question. It feels morally wrong to have a favourite in the way people do with baseball players.

"I am, however, fascinated with several serial offenders' reasoning and explanation for why they did what they did. Every single killer is different, but it all comes back to 1 thing. Do you know what that is?"

They all shook their heads. “What is your relationship with your parents like?" He asked. 

Everyone in the room reacted; some students sighed, some rolled their eyes as they recalled their parents and childhoods to memory.

"When a person decides to kill, it's often never in the moment. It's in childhood. The majority of serial offender's stories start the same; their mother didn't love them, their father left. Someone at home abused them or put them down repeatedly."

"Thus, causing a hatred so primal to bubble. No matter how hard they try and fight it, the bubble always bursts. They go from fantasizing to killing in retaliation for their abuse, taking the anger out in stages."

He referred to the board. "Every killer has a stressor and a trigger—something that causes the urge to bubble and the event that causes the bubble to rupture.”

"Edmund Kemper is a fascinating example of this. He grew up with a family for the first few years of his life before his father fully abandoned them. His mother handled the situation by turning her anger onto her son; it was his fault his father left, he looked just like him, Ed was just another useless man who would never amount to anything," he emphasized the words. Hoping the class sees the effects words have on children.

"He started by cutting up dolls, stealing his sister's barbies and cutting their heads off. In his mind, he was getting out his anger and hatred for how his mother saw him. She hated men, causing him to mature with a warped idea of what women are truly like."

"His attraction to killing worsened his mother's hatred; she could tell something was wrong with him, that he didn't react to everyday situations the way he should. By the time he was ten, she was locking him in the basement for days on end, telling him he was a monster and her biggest regret."

"The change in her rage amplified his own. He hated hearing her speak. He hated the way she walked around, thinking she was better than him. That just because she was a mother and a working woman, she deserved respect and submissive’s. All he could see was a woman with a big head who needed to be humbled. This is the moment when the psychotic side of his brain blended his hatred of his mother with how good it felt to kill."

"Is that why he, you know?" Peggy cut in, running her finger along her neck as she pretended to cut her head off.

He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding. "His signature, as it's called, was decapitation. But more specifically necrophiling the severed head of his victims."

The whole class let out a disgusted noise, Peggy and Spencer making eye contact while they shrugged, it wasn't news to them.

"At age ten, he moved from barbies to cats and dogs, never leaving them around for his mother to see. While he hated her, he was also absolutely terrified of her. Breading a special type of killer. When you think of school shooters or preferential predators, what do they have in common?" He asked.

He pointed at a student in the back. "They have a specific type of victim they’re after?"

"Exactly. Most serial offenders want to go after the cause of their pain or attraction. However, Ed wasn't able to kill the source of his rage for a long time. His mother mentally abused him so intensely that he believed she was in control of him and that her opinion of him mattered. He saw her as his God, he loved her, but he also knew that he disappointed her.

"He ran away soon after to find his father. Travelling to California, only to be told he was unwanted there as well. It wasn't just his mother that his father was escaping; it was the fundamental aspect of family that he didn't want. Ed defiantly didn't want to go back to his mother after that, so he moved in with his paternal grandparents."

He kept catching the looks on Peggy's face. She knew the story already, waiting patiently to hear the words he chose to make the horrific acts seem a little more conversational.

"His grandmother was exactly like his mother. If I had to guess, his father most likely had a distaste for his own mother and thus divorced Ed's mom. Only he never grew up to be a killer, just an absent father—his absence doing to Ed what never happened to him."

"Ed killed his grandparents when he was 15. Telling the police and his therapists that they had beaten him constantly, they refused to feed him and called him names. He said he snapped from the trauma; it was self-defence."

Peggy laughed to herself, making him smile softly. "Sending him to a mental hospital instead of a juvenile facility was the worst thing they could've done for him," Spencer added.

"Why?" A student asked.

"Ed is a psychopath." He reminded them. "He doesn't feel empathy the way we do. You can admit that you feel bad for him, yes? If you understand why he killed people, it doesn't make you sick, like him, it makes you human. You see a hurt person hurting others; Ed Kemper sees himself as a new sort of God, choosing who dies, how and when."

"He was brilliant, having the exact IQ as I do," just a humblebrag, "the staff trusted him. He looked like an innocent boy, smart enough to take matters into his own hands for the betterment of his life. They gave him computer privileges, they let him work the front desk and file patient information. Giving him all the resources to learn about who he was inside and how to get away with it perfectly."

"Damn," another kid added. "When did he get out?"

"At 21.” He answered the student quickly. “Ed was interviewed by my mentor Jason Gideon, in the 70s. Where he explained that being locked up during his sexual prime, as well as the access to information, is what truly set him off more than his mother.

"He moved back in with her and his sister when he came out of the institution, immediately returning to the constant ridicule. He went from being told all the time that he was a smart and charming young man, capable of rehabilitation to a useless, no-good son, who would have been better off collecting in a condom or running down her leg."

The whole class laughed, shocked at his repetition of Ed's mother's words.

"He got his licence when he was released. And remember, this was prime time for hitchhiking in California; everyone and their mother walked the roads with a thumb in the air. It was the birth of free love and recreational marijuana usage. It was also the best hunting ground for a learning serial killer."

"He was able to pick women up, but like I said, missing his sexual prime while in an institution made him almost impotent. He didn't know how to speak to women; he had to create a fantasy in his mind every time, one that involved killing, before he could look at a woman."

"How did he get them in his car then?" A voice asked from the back.

"He was 6'9, 300lbs; he looked like a big teddy bear. And his mother was the local college administrative assistant, so the whole town knew him anyway. If Ed offered to give them a ride, it wouldn't be that bad, right?" Peggy turned around to face the class as she explained for Spencer, who just shook his head.

"He only wanted to rape the victims, originally," Spencer added. "But he couldn't. There was no release of the tension. The bubble that had been growing inside him was at its breaking point; he needed to just do it. Get it over with and move on."

"He killed 6 women in succession after that. Gaining the name "The Co-Ed Killer," well before anyone even suspected Ed Kemper," Spencer took a sip of coffee, feeling his throat start to dry as they reached the insane part.

"He was overly friendly with the cops; he wanted to get his record expunged and join the force.” Spencer finally continued. “Being told, "don't worry about your record, worry about your weight.""

"Most killers enjoy wearing a uniform for the power and talking to the police about their cases, in the hopes of gauging how smart they really are—taking pride in the fact that they are getting away with it for so long."

"He watched all the cop shows, and he read all the books. He knew that in order to get away with it, he had to do it where no one could trace it back to him. He knew he had to keep his cool and avoid looking obsessed with the case, but just curious enough to gain insight into how they thought he was doing it. It went on for years, and they had absolutely zero leads, finding headless bodies every few months before they finally received a call." He left them hanging, walking over to his sheet of paper and pretending to read it while they anticipated the catch.

"Ed always knew that he wanted to kill his mother. He just never knew when,” Spencer teased the story along. Noticing as the students fidgeted in their seats as they wondered what happened next.

“In his interview with Gideon, Ed said that he knew she would die 7 days before he killed her. He walked into her room that night to find her reading, with the audacity to ask if he wanted to come in and chat all night. Teasing him for the way he rambled to her. It was the last time she ever did that."

"It's hard to imagine his signature with the fact his second last victim was his mother," Peggy added, cringing at the thought.

"Wait," another student interjected. "Who was his last kill then if he only really wanted to kill her?"

"Remember how I said he lacked empathy?" Spencer asked. "He loved his mother in the same way a prisoner can end up loving their captor."

Peggy nods at the comparison, looking like she's never thought of it that way before, then smiling at him.

"You grow a bond through the trauma and when the only thing you've ever known is violence and hate, you don't know what to do when that's gone, it's hard to cope."

"He said he killed his mother so that she never had to know what he did. She'd never have to sit at his court hearings or be able to tell the media that she always knew he was a killer."

"His last kill was his mother's best friend," He finally answered the question.

"He didn't want his mother to be even more disappointed in him, but he also didn't want his mother's best friend to find her like that and be upset. So the obvious answer to him was to kill her too."

"What the fuck?" He heard a couple of kids say under their breath.

"Yeah," he agreed with an almost chuckle. "This is what I mean by their answers are fascinating. It makes so much sense to them; clearly, if I kill my mother, her friend will be upset, so the best answer would be to put her out of her misery as well. He sees them as objects, like a matching set. One would lose value without the other."

Everyone was silent then. The students took in all the information they had just received, staring up at him with a look of disgust mixed with wonder.

"Any questions?"

Peggy raised her hand for a change; he pointed towards her in approval. "You missed the part where he specifically took the heads from the three women before his mother and brought them back home with him. He buried them in the yard outside her bedroom window, making sure they were always looking up to her."

Spencer was amazed that she knew the details. "Yes, I guess I did."

"I always found that part particularly interesting in this case," Peggy added. "Her opinion mattered so much to him. He knew how much she loved her co-ed's and how they looked up to her so much. They'd be exactly like her. He felt trapped in a town of women who were exactly like his nightmare, and his response was to make them physically look up to her for the rest of her life."

"Exactly." Spencer smiled. "understanding how he sees the situation and how the events played out in his mind is the key in figuring out who he is."

"If you were on the case in '72 when the first victims were discovered, how would you have handled it, Dr. Reid?" A male student in the back asked in the silence between answers, taking his shot before Peggy and Spencer went any further in their discussion.

“That's a hard thing to answer, connecting evidence back then was a lot harder than it is today, if it wasn’t for men like Ed there wouldn’t really be this many answers,” Spencer said honestly.

Another student put her hand up, “what’s the worst thing he did in your opinion?”

That racked his brain, there was a handful of horrific things he did that were particularly horrific, “probably his mother's entire murder.”

“What did he do?”

Before Spencer could answer he saw Peggy open her mouth and start explaining. “He not only cut off her head and fucked her neck, but he also took her vocal cords out and shoved them down the garbage disposal. And before he called the cops, he cleaned everything up and made her look presentable because he said his mother wouldn’t want guests to see the mess.”

The class all cringed, sinking into their seats with disgust. But that didn’t stop Peggy from explaining it all further.

“He used to go to a bar all the cops went to and he would talk about his case. They would always one-up themselves and say they were close which gave him this false idea that they were on his tail and they’d find his mother soon. But when they didn’t, he called it in from a payphone and said he’d come over and explain it all. And boy did he ever, the cops said he wouldn’t shut up. And then when they put him in the cop car finally, a woman walked past him and he threw up.”

Spencer watched her with awe, the way she could call information to memory like that was beautiful. He listened to her like he’s never heard a fact before, she was so intriguing.

“Thank you for the detail,” he teased her lightly. “Sometimes I get so caught up that the really gross parts get swept aside.”

The class smiled at him, he had gained their trust and attention within only 1 hour of class.

“I know you said you don’t have a favourite,” another student asked from the back. “I agree it’s weird, but who is the one you gravitate towards the most?”

“I’ve met hundreds of serial killers, I’ve read about thousands,” he explained. “I think Ed Kemper is the one I gravitate the most around because he was so willing and open to explaining why he is the way he is. Going as far as to say that the only way they could keep women safe is to give him a lobotomy. He didn’t believe there was any correcting to be done, only removal of the evil within him.”

He heard slight mumbles as everyone took in what he said. “Does anyone here have a killer or a case that interested them in learning more, or just introduced you to the chase of justice?”

Peggy put her hand up, “I personally think BTK is the scariest, most tactical, and just downright evil man to ever exist. He scares me to no end but he’s so interesting to learn about.”

“Ahh,” Spencer agreed. “Too bad you won't be here for week 3. But with that I think I’ll end the class, next week we’ll be discussing the difference between Ted Bundy and Richard Speck.” He nodded lightly, watching the majority of them close their books and had on out.

“I really enjoyed the class,” she said softly. Holding her purse in one hand, a collection of files in the other.

Spencer turned to look at her then, smiling right back. “It was a pleasure to teach alongside you.”

“What do you mean?” She teased, “it’s not like my mom and dad were the ones who did all the interviews."

“Carr,” he repeats her last name. The gears turning in his mind as he brings all the information forth.

“Your mother is Wendy Carr, she was recruited after the BTK case with Bill Tench, she’s who was behind that study you mentioned.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“Who’s your father?”

“Guess,” she looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face, pushing her glasses up slightly.

“You’re kidding? Gideon never said he had a daughter let alone a,” he stops himself before he can embarrass himself any further.

She smiled at the implication of his words, “but he’s told me all about you Dr. Reid, that’s why I'm here.”

“You need help with a case and I’m the only agent in Virginia currently,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly. Knowing it was too good to be true that she would have any interest in him in the slightest.

“No actually, I have a case I’ve been working on privately and I need some help. I asked my dad but he said you’d be able to help me the best. I agree,” she corrected him softly. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a big fan of yours. When I would sit in and watch his lectures, before he knew I was his kid, you would always step in at the best parts, adding the smallest details to the story that the average person would forget. It’s magnificent.”

He laughed slightly, tugging at his collar as she complimented him. “Thank you, you’re quite magnificent as well,” he replied with a blush and a smile

She didn’t look like Gideon, probably because she smiled so much. Like sunshine on legs, she beamed, all but blinding him with her smile as she stared at him, “do you want to get lunch and go over this case with me?”

“I’d love to.”

taglist: (message me if you want to be added or removed)

@shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

[pipipinyyy]

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ��(◞‿◟ლ)

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 4

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Saelhen and Looseleaf, following their recent dance conquest, get back on the road to Thunderbrush- and get themselves wrapped up in a blood feud between rival farming villages. Before that, though... something goes bump in the night.

It's the night after the wedding reception, and the party has free rooms, courtesy of Carrid Bronzebloom. Looseleaf and Oyobi remain roomies, Vayen shares a room with Orluthe, and Saelhen insists on a room of her own, as a proper noblewoman.

Also as a proper noblewoman, she searches the room for any and all places of entry or exit, and places some ball bearings in front of them. It's just the window and the one door, so... two spots.

In the night...

A pair of crit fails, on the part of whoever's sneaking into her room at night, and on Saelhen's part to notice them! Saelhen, it seems, meant to sleep with one eye open, but the eyes disagreed on which one it should be, and she dozed off something fierce.

Which means that Oyobi, trancing in the adjacent room (elves don't sleep!) is the only one to hear Vayen bang his shin on something and go "ow!" in the middle of the night. Oyobi, however, has a -1 to int, and fails to recall exactly which rooms her other party members were in.

The next morning, Saelhen notices... that the ball bearings by the door have been disturbed. Even though the door was locked, and remained locked the whole time, someone was able to get into her room and pass the DC 10 dex check to not get knocked over by the ball bearings. Apart from that, though, nothing in her room is out of place or missing. Hm...

On the road, while Looseleaf is distracted buying a quarterstaff from a traveling merchant, Saelhen and Oyobi touch base on the situation in Thieves' Cant.

They're not taking action on this just yet, so they proceed onwards. The tall grass starts to thin out and get shorter- turning to prairie, and then almost scrubland as the climate gets more arid. It's here, as day turns to evening, that they approach a two-story building at a crossroads.

Benedict I. (GM): There's small buildings in the distance on either end of this road- and further up the highway, past the two-story building is a tall black stone tower that seems to be standing in a field, completely alone. As you approach the crossroads, you can see the sign- Wheatley General. And as you approach closer, you can see the vandalism. Some sort of yellowish-white paint has been used to write "EAT SHIT, TRAITOR" across the left half of the building's exterior, and the glass windows have holes in them. Across the right side is similar vandalism, in a more brownish-yellow paint, reading "SWINDLER INSIDE". To the left of the store is a sign pointing off to the left, northwest, reading "<- Barley". And to the right of the store is a sign pointing off to the right, southeast, reading "Wheat ->".

Inside, the place is cleaner than the outside, and fairly well-stocked for a general store in the boonies. At the counter is a very tall and very tired-looking person- either an especially tall human or a very lanky goliath.

(Most of the session is interrogating this dude.)

He tells them that they have rooms for rent, and that they're open 24 hours. Also, he warns them not to visit Wheat or Barley- apparently, they've got some kind of blood feud going on, and there's a lot of hate directed his way for trying to be neutral in the conflict.

Looseleaf: "What... are they paranoid about?" Benedict I. (GM): "Each other, mostly." Looseleaf: "And wwwwwwhy are they paranoid about each other," Benedict I. (GM): "If you go down there, they're gonna interrogate you to make sure you're not sent by the other guys to kill people." "Oh, uh, the killing people." "The murders and stuff." Looseleaf: "OKAY you could have LED with that," Looseleaf says, flipping her antennae forward and backwards. Benedict I. (GM): "They keep, I don't know, killing each other, over pointless stuff." "And getting angrier and angrier about it." "S'why I left and set up here. Tired of it." "Didn't... really help, though." "As you can probably see." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ah. One of the sad affairs where each death is the next death's cause." Saelhen lowers her eyes. "In my country, we call such things ばかげたナンセンス."

Looseleaf's not sure this adds up. She wants to know why he set up shop in a place he hates, rather than just pack up and leave. His excuse is that his little sister is still in Barley, and he needs to stay here so that she has someplace to go if things get worse for her.

Looseleaf: "Wh- why are you letting your little sister stay in a place where people are apparently regularly dying- you're painting this place up to be a warzone, that's how you're making it sound?" "Seriously, why not just, I don't know, book it for Blacksky. It's not that far a travel from here." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "You assume he can compel her to leave, Madam Looseleaf." Looseleaf: "Or, even the port town upwards the road from here. That's where we're going too; if it's inability to leave keeping you here, we could take you with us?" Benedict I. (GM):"It's... ugh. It's not that bad. Just like... I don't know, they all act like it's not happening, until it does." "Nobody will admit to killing anyone, even if they'll talk all day about how the other side deserves to die." "Too polite for it."

Saelhen declares that she'll confer with her companions on what to do about all this- but the shopkeep insists that he didn't ask them to do anything. It's not their problem, and it's better to not get involved.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ah, of course. I forget myself in this exotic lands. No one has asked anyone to do anything. Yes, Oyobi? Vayen?" Benedict I. (GM): Vayen has no response. "It... sounds like something should be done, though," Oyobi says. "If it's a monster, I can kill it dead!" The tall guy sighs. "You're Deathseekers, aren't you?" "You're looking for a quest." "But I can't pay, so... just forget it."

Looseleaf is entirely on board with this guy's pitch- why should they get involved?

While they're deliberating, there's a mysterious thump from the back of the store. Thalath asks them to please wait while he deals with the situation- so of course they peek at what he's doing.

Thalath piles up a few armfuls of groceries, and brings them to the backdoor, where, waiting for him, sits... a wheelbarrow. Which wiggles expectantly.

Thalath, unsurprised by this ("...Still the usual."), exchanges the groceries for a sack of coin left in the wheelbarrow, which trundles away, satisfied.

Anyway, this is unremarkable, so the party continues deliberating on what to do. Looseleaf theorizes that the murders are being committed by some unknown monster preying on both towns, which would be far too dangerou-

Oyobi is super down for night-monster hunting, and votes that they interfere. Orluthe volunteers because he just wants to help people (and not because he wants to fight monsters, surely), and Saelhen wants to get involved because getting tangled up in a clan war might provide an opportunity to get rid of Vayen somehow.

Vayen votes to get involved, too.

That... doesn't bode well. But, uh, the votes are the votes! Looseleaf is determined to do this right, if they're doing it.

Looseleaf: Get a sheet of parchment out, start taking notes. "We're investigating apparently now!" is what Looseleaf says. "Now, tell me everything you know about these mysterious deaths." "The great detective Looseleaf is on the case." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Cultural studies," adds Saelhen. "This will make fascinating material for a thesis on standing intergenerational grudges." Benedict I. (GM): "Wh- oh, god. That's- studies? Don't tell me you're from the University..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Better than deathseekers! Benedict I. (GM): "I should've known when you said "run to Blacksky" and not "run to Oyashio"..." "I mean... I guess they'll know you're out-of-towners for sure." "So you probably won't get run out on a rail." "But... you really don't want to get involved. It's just heartbreak no matter where you look."

They put the screws I mean persuasion rolls to Thalath, and manage to get some information out of him:

His sister's name is Kensa, but if they go around asking about her, they'll know it was him who put them up to it, so please don't

There've been honor killings on and off for a while, but there's been a sudden and severe uptick in killings in Barley over the past year.

Barley's victims are all found in their fields, with four evenly-spaced holes in their chests, in a diamond pattern- and sometimes the bodies go missing.

He doesn't know much about Wheat's murders ("you'd have to ask Sass", but he heard dogs were involved.

There's a new killing around once a week now- usually on the outskirts, not in the town center.

The local authority in Barley is one Malath Kanthalga, cleric of Diamode, who's huge and has four fingers on her right hand.

Looseleaf: "What are the local authority forces like? Who would usually be responsible for handling deaths like this? Is there an Ecumene in charge of this town?" Benedict I. (GM): He nods, and grimaces. "Malath Kanthalga. Cleric of Family, in Barley. You'll be able to recognize her because she's gigantic and only has four fingers on her right hand." "If it's not three, by now." "She's the one in charge of witchhunts and telling people how to live their lives."

Looseleaf puts two and two and a DC 15 Religion check together to come to a conclusion. To the Ecumene of Diamode, which puts family first, losing a child is like losing a finger from your hand. Consequently, under Diamode law: to disown a child, you legally have to cut off one of your fingers. Given that, and what Thalath said about emphatically not being a Kanthalga, it's likely he was disowned.

On their way out, they notice the wheelbarrow trundling towards that weird black tower down the road- and Looseleaf pops back in to ask Thalath about it.

Looseleaf: "What's with the ominous black tower looming over everything in the distance like an evil villain's lair in a storybook," Looseleaf belts out rapidly. Benedict I. (GM):"Wh- oh, that?" "That's just- don't go over there, either." "That's just- there's some crazy torture wizard, stay the hell away if you can help it." Looseleaf: "There's a crazy torture wizard, and he buys groceries from you?" "And... nobody's thought to pin all the mysterious deaths on the ominous crazy torture wizard with an evil tower?"

Thalath seems convinced there's no way it could be the crazy torture wizard in the spooky tower. Reasons being:

you can't torture people if they're dead

he doesn't bother anyone anymore, since people got mad at him kidnapping people and then got mad at him trying to trick people into volunteering

he hasn't been seen in at least a year

he's totally senile and couldn't possibly get away with dozens of murders without being caught

Looseleaf suggests that maybe this guy is dead, killed by one of his own creations, and that monster is responsible for the murders. Thalath doesn't think that's possible either- he's clearly still alive, right? Someone's doing magical lightshows up in that tower every night, and someone's putting sacks of coin in the wheelbarrow in exchange for groceries.

Looseleaf... makes an arcana check to remember something about arcane magic, which I mentioned in our Discord chat:

Benedict: things about the world you would know as common background knowledge: arcane magic- that is, magic built into the world by the gods as part of the system, available to anyone with sufficient training or talent- strains the body somewhat it feels tiring, like physical exertion Farn: is it exercise? Benedict not quite, is the thing unlike physical exercise, which builds up the body's muscles so that you can do things easier over time magical exercise just gives you more of a feel for magic, so that you can do more difficult things with it. the easy stuff never gets any easier- you just have more endurance magic practice is known to shorten lifespans a bit and make the body frailer- a mage needs to work out more and eat better than a non-mage to maintain the same physical fitness it's why wizards are typically squishier- it's not a game balance thing, it's a literal effect of putting in the amount of practice to be a good wizard Farn: and arcanists tend to be nerds so that's often not gonna be a thing i imagine not enough time in the day! Benedict: yep furthermore, the image of a wizard as an old man with a long white beard isn't really a thing in the popular imagination- because physical aging makes you less able to cast magic that strain magic puts on the body can cause actual damage when your body's deteriorated enough and can't handle that strain this is why Dean Variable Velocity is in a wheelchair. she was one of the most accomplished wizards in the world, with raw power that whole cities feared- but she's no longer capable of more than the simplest cantrips due to her advanced age casting big magic would literally tear her apart and has done so in the past, costing her the use of her legs that's why she's an academic administrator, now- she means to pass on her knowledge to the younger generation, who can actually make use of it

What Looseleaf realizes is: if the old man is as senile as Thalath says he is, it's pretty weird that he'd be doing big magic lightshows every night. Maybe impossible! Maybe whatever's happening up there isn't an alive old wizard doing magic!

They report back to their team about their findings.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "There appears to be a torture wizard in the tower," she remarks. Orluthe Chokorov: "A... torture wizard?!" Looseleaf: "Okay, here's my deductions, courtesy of the great detective Looseleaf's ultimate thinking brain," Looseleaf says. "According to Thalath, there's an evil torture wizard in the tower, yes. Like, an actual, comedically evil torture wizard, which- that makes no sense?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "A torture wizard whom Sir Thalath regards as not at all a viable culprit for these incidents, no less." Looseleaf: "How has nobody come around and dealt with the torture wizard? There's a cleric of Diamode here for crying out loud, and I know that Diamode isn't exactly super big on conquering evil and saving the helpless, but surely having a torture wizard around interferes with family values in some way at least." "I bet Thalath's the real wizard or something. Thalath's a great name for an evil wizard." "And at the end, he's gonna be like, muahahaha, I fooled you all, it was me behind the whole situation, my machinations laid undetected for YEARS." "Guy really doesn't want us going to the evil wizard tower or any of the towns." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "The point Madam Looseleaf is driving at, whilst also recklessly speculating, is that we would like you to keep an eye out for anything..." "Torturous, or wizardly, while we investigate." Looseleaf: "Look, you're the one who wanted us to get into this situation involving people getting killed, and now apparently on top we also have to worry about becoming tortured by torture wizards."

So, to investigate further, they head into Barley to gather information. On the way, they noticed, by the roadside... some old rotted wood and blackened soil that indicates a building burned down there some time ago. Looseleaf reads the spirits of those burned-out foundations and finds that- while it was too long ago to get details- they burned down from a fire that burned hotter than normal fire should've, and... those burnt timbers witnesses, and sometimes caused, death. It seems like there used to be a town at this crossroads, before it split.

They arrive in Barley, and they're directed by a local farmer to the Temple of Diamode, in response to which Orluthe takes off his cap and stole- he doesn't seem to want to be recognized as a cleric of Diamode by actual Diamode clergy. There, they meet...

Malath Kanthalga, clearly a goliath, is handing out pieces of newly-forged plate armor to a queue of farmers. (That's expensive! They wouldn't be buying that stuff if they didn't need it, out here!)

She rounds on the party and gets a very good roll to intimidate them, demanding to know who they are and what they're doing there.

Looseleaf comes up with a clever angle- she wants to offer her services as an animist, to inspect the bodies of the victims and determine how they died- ostensibly proving once and for all that their hated enemy was responsible, is the angle.

Malath isn't opposed to her doing some magical forensics- she seems convinced that it was in fact the town of Wheat that's been killing the people of Barley, and expects the investigation to confirm what she already knows. She refuses to let up on the guard thing, though- safety first.

So, next time... it's time for some fantasy CSI! I've never written a murder mystery in a setting where magic is real before, so this'll be a fun challenge.

[mollyencrypted]

A Marriage, For Better Or Worse

Okay, I think I've worked out how a Re-Animator Corpse Bride AU would work:

It's kind of a mixture of film and serial canon, plus some stuff that doesn't align with either, set somewhere around the time Part II would have taken place.

Dan and Meg are engaged but her father was incredibly reluctant to agree to it so there's a lot of pressure on him to Not Fuck This Up.

So predictably he fucks it up because he's a moron who cannot take anything seriously.

Consequently, the esteemed Doctor Halsey tells him to fuck off until he gets his shit together, and so he wanders off to go practice Not Being Terrible somewhere away from people, and immediately gets killed by something (probably cultists) because he is utterly useless.

Really, really useless.

So he wakes up, very dead and being bothered by a goddamned zombie and a dog-demon-thing, and proceeds to freak the fuck out and run for it, which is fair enough really, it’s a very weird situation.

He also hasn’t yet worked out that he’s dead, and so it’s rather a shock for him when a slightly-less-horrifying fellow ex-being informs him of this fact.

Once he finally gets over his shock, he starts asking about the creepy guy from earlier, who turns out to be one Herbert West, a former medical student who was murdered ten years previously by his academic supervisor, who proceeded to steal his research and pass it off as his own.

He's also somewhat estranged from the rest of the local deceased, being seemingly the only one who resents being dead and very much committed to finding a way of reversing his condition. Nobody else wants any part of this, partially because they don't see the point but also because his experiments just tend to make things worse. He is Not Good at necromancy.

As it turns out, a means of returning to life is exactly what Dan needs, because he's engaged to a living woman and his being dead makes this rather inconvenient. And hey, he's a doctor, maybe he can help out!

West is surprisingly easily convinced to take him on as an assistant. That's mostly because his current assistant - one of the local ghouls - isn't terribly useful due to a lack of medical knowledge and a tendency to get distracted with pining after a certain human scholar who broke things off with him following the whole 'turning into a corpse-eating monster' thing

Turns out they're still not very good at necromancy.

Meanwhile, in the world of the living, Halsey is convinced that his almost-son-in-law has probably run off and has no intention of going through with the wedding, and as such isn't being the most comforting presence to his daughter, who is equally convinced that something terrible has happened to her fiancé.

Especially because he's already found a replacement husband for her.

By which I mean his associate, a certain Doctor Carl Hill, has talked him into arranging a marriage to his much younger, very much uninterested daughter. Gross.

Understandably, she's utterly disgusted by the prospect and resolves to use her week-long grace period to find out what happened to Dan, hoping he might still be alive. (Sorry, Meg, he ain't.)

She doesn't have much luck in her search for answers, but at one point does run into a certain human scholar mentioned earlier, one Randolph Carter. They're both pretty miserable and end up confiding in each other about their respective issues.

News of Meg's circumstances get back to Dan via the ghoul formerly known as Richard Pickman (you knew it was him already), who'd overheard that during an attempt at following Dan's terrible relationship advice. Dan is a moron who cannot boyfriend, please don’t take his advice on anything.

The revival of the moron who cannot boyfriend now has a closer deadline than anticipated because whilst he doesn't know exactly who the new guy is he isn't going to stand by and let the woman he loves be married off to someone she wants nothing to do with.

It is, however, somewhat awkward, because whilst he's definitely Very Much In Love with Meg and she with him even though she could really do better, he's also kind of caught feelings for his accidental colleague, who maybe also caught feelings for him, and he really doesn't know what to do in this situation except Ignore It And Hope It Goes Away.

And when Herbert tries to convince him to just give up on Meg and stay on as his assistant he immediately refuses because in this house we do not screw over female characters for the sake of creepy men. So they fight but ultimately try and be professional about the whole thing because Science.

They know they won't make the deadline, but at the last minute someone in this idiotic company points out that actually, they don't need to revive Dan before the wedding - he's ambulatory, not particularly decomposed, and the only thing keeping him from interacting with the living is Convention. They can work on a proper treatment after the immediate trouble is over.

What follows is some ungodly fusion of the climaxes of both films, in which we learn that one member of our cast actually is rather good at necromancy (just not any of the ideal members), and Meg dies.

It doesn't stick.

And she gets to be the one to remove Hill from the mortal coil. He promptly gets devoured by ghouls and is mourned by no-one.

And so Dan and Meg get to marry, more or less, so that's nice, except she's not terribly happy about the whole being dead thing and her new husband still hasn't warmed up to it so they end up going off with Herbert to figure out a solution. And also to figure out some less scientific stuff. After all, they have all the time in the world now.

(also Randolph and Richard get their shit together because this is my AU and I do what I want)

And they all died (somewhat) happily ever after until Cthulhu breaks free or some shit.

The end.