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mochegato · 3 years

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Even the Losers

Chapter 16

Chapter 1 Chapter 15

Marinette blinked as the room around her slowly came into focus. She tried to bring her hand up to rub her head to help alleviate her pulsing headache but her hands weren’t responding. It felt like there was a weight on them. Or like they were being held down, bound. Marinette’s eyes flew open and her heart started pounding as she searched the room for the akuma. She looked at her hands and silently cursed to herself. Not only were her arms bound to the arms of a wooden chair, she saw her own naked hands instead of her distinct red suit.

She groaned and looked around for any clues to where she was being held and what the akuma might be. If she could figure out their powers, she might be able to figure out how to get out of this. She stopped when she saw a man in a green suit making his way toward her. She blinked a few more times taking in his suit and hat. “Is that… are those question marks? Are you a question akuma?” she muttered out in French.

The man tilted his head at her. “You’ll find English is necessary if you want to get out of this one alive, young Wayne.”

Marinette stared at the man a few more seconds, letting his words settle in her head as things started to click in her mind. She wasn’t in Paris. This wasn’t an akuma, because there weren’t akumas anymore. She and Adrien had defeated his father. She was in Gotham. She had been on her way home after a disastrous dinner at the Wayne’s. This was a Gotham villain, not a Parisian one. This was the Riddler.

Marinette breathed out a sigh of relief before her face scrunched in frustration. “Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me right now? You had to do this right now?”

“Oh, I never kid about riddles. Now, is not the time to panic, Little Lady,” he taunted.

“Oh, you have no fucking clue. Now is most definitely NOT the time, but you made it the time,” she hissed at him. “Do you have ANY idea how bad my week is going? My night? Do you? Do you have any idea of the trauma and nightmares I’m going to have to deal with already? And that was before you forced me to witness your suit in person. And can you comprehend the mental and emotional cataclysm I’m already going to have to endure? And you’re pulling this shit? Now?”

“I’m just going to ask a few questions and then it’ll all be over and then you can have your little mental breakdown,” he jeered condescendingly.

She narrowed her eyes at him and tried to lunge at him, but her chest was tied to the chair, holding her back, and she’d never hated rope more than she did in that moment. She growled and glared at him. “Oh thank you for the permission. And for the record, it won’t be little. It’s going to be a monufuckingmental breakdown. Thank you very much. Granted it isn’t everything on Earth is destroyed but me and one other person, who caused it in the first place, level of bad. But I think I’m justified in needing to take a fucking second to think and process. A second I’m not going to fucking get now am I? Because of you.” She turned her head to the side in frustration but her eyes got caught on a small red light. Her mouth dropped open. “Are you recording this?” she yelled at him. That complicated things considerably. Now she needed to watch her words. Now she needed to make sure she didn’t expose anything. Well that just sucked even more.

“Well, it wouldn’t be much of a game show without an audience, now would it,” he purred.

She scowled at him. “By all means, record this to watch later. Most people aren’t looking to get bitch slapped as hard as you’re going to get so publicly, but to each their own, I guess. But, consent is a thing and next time, keep me out of it.”

She strained against the ropes holding her hands to the chair arms. She glowered at him when they proved too tight for her to move her wrists. “Also, it’s already not much of a game show. If you have to knock out people and tie them down just to get them to play, either your show sucks or your host does. Or in this case, both.”

“Now, now,” he snarled, his smile considerably more strained than it had been before. “We’re just testing the newest Wayne to see how you’re going to fit in.”

“I could have told you that without all this,” she glowered. “But you wanted to be a big man and ask a question. So ask your little question. Be a big man putting a bound, petite, non-native English speaking woman, in her place. Although if that’s what it takes to make you feel like a man, that’s one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever heard.”

Riddler seethed at her, attempting to keep his face neutral, but failing spectacularly. One of the Waynes should be afraid of him. He had been hoping the new one would finally give him a Wayne that cowered in fear. Instead, he got yet another feral child. He gripped his question mark staff tightly, fighting the urge to hit her with it. It was too early to start. She’d get her punishment soon enough. He looked up with a grin. Very soon.

He looked back at her with a sadistic smirk. “Fine. I’d hate to keep a lady waiting. Perhaps first I should start with the stakes.” He moved closer to smile in her face. “Think well on your answer young Wayne, because for every question you get wrong,” he pointed up with his staff, “a knife falls.”

Marinette let out a deep, annoyed sigh and looked up to see a series of knives tied to the ceiling right above her seat. She sighed and gave him a flat look. “Really? That’s the best you could do? You realize what I’ve been faced with before, right? Or did you not do your research?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You look like a man who never does his research.”

Riddler sidled up to her in a step, his face a few centimeters from her own. “We can start by testing out the knives if you’d prefer.”

Marinette leaned her head back. Even if she couldn’t talk him out of making one drop, it wasn’t going to get her. They would miraculously get diverted just enough to miss her. Luck could be a bitch when it was against you and he’d left too much up to chance. “Already changing the rules of the game? What were you saying about a good game show? Guess you really don’t care.”

“Fine!” Riddler screamed. He walked away a few steps and turned back to her with a malicious glint in his eyes. “Let’s start slow, shall we? Starting in 1881, this hall brightened Paris’ nights while darkening its satire. What is the name of this baby of Salis?”

Marinette stared at him blankly for a few seconds. Her face went slack.

Riddler leered down at her, his face breaking into a creepy grin at her apparent inability to answer his question. “Oh, how sad.” He gave her a mock pout. “Looks like the new Wayne isn’t so smart after all. What do they see in you anyway? Can’t even answer a simple, easy question.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Marinette finally burst out.

Riddler frowned at her. Instead of the fear he expected, her voice was incredulous and angry. “That’s the question, if you can’t answer…”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? That’s not a… You’re the Riddler. That’s not a riddle! That’s a… are you okay? Like, seriously. Are you okay? Because I think… You know what?” She took a deep steadying breath. She opened her eyes to give him a serious look, completely devoid of fear, leaning more towards concerned.

“I think you need a break. I think you need to take a bit of time to reassess, refocus, and recenter yourself. Then you can come back and be the Riddler I know you can be. Because this,” she tried to motion toward him, “this is not it. That is... that isn't a riddle! That's trivia! You inaccurately named, evil Alex Trebek! This would be a perfect opportunity to say I’m in Jeopardy, clueless asshole. So disappointed right now.” She shook her head in disappointment, refusing to even look at him.

Riddler seethed at her, his face turning red with anger. “Look either answer the question or…”

“THAT’S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!” she screamed at him. “It’s a question, not a riddle. And you missed a golden opportunity to ask a follow up question and saying it’s Double Jeopardy. You missed the obvious pun! This is why I say you need to take a break. This isn’t you. You’re better than this, I know you are. I’m just… I’m worried about your mental health.” She gave him a concerned look.

“If you can’t answer…” he snapped at her. He gripped and regripped his question staff menacingly, leaning toward her with a snarl.

Marinette rolled her eyes at the attempt at intimidation. “Of course I can answer. I’m from Paris and you’re asking about Le Chat Noir? Of course I know the answer. Let me guess, your next question is about a ladybug,” she chirped, widening her eyes with false excitement.

Her face dropped the false sweetness and turned back into an aggravated frown. “That’s not the fucking point. My point is you interrupted my fucking abomination of a night for this bullshit and you’re not even on top of your game. So I not only get shoved into the spotlight, against my will, by people violating my and my parents’ privacy, forcing Mon… my father to ramp up plans for my introduction. Making sure my family and I knew we weren’t safe and exposing me to this bullshit along with the other attempts on me since it happened.”

Her frown turned into a disgusted sneer. “And I was actually afraid for a moment because I thought you were an akuma, but you’re really just an underprepared asshole. It’s insulting frankly.”

Riddler swung his question mark staff at her catching her across her cheek. He grinned at the blood trickling down her cheek. Marinette glared up at him but refused to let a grunt of pain pass her lips. “Next question, hopefully this one is more to your liking.” His eyes took on a malevolent glint.

Marinette’s eyes flicked behind him. He smirked at her inability to make eye contact any longer. “No,” she interrupted, a smirk forming on her own lips. “It’s my turn. I have one for you. It’s actually in the form of a riddle, if you think you can handle that.” The Riddler growled at her and moved closer to tower over her threateningly. “What lights up the day with black against yellow yet lights up the night with yellow against black. It brings hope to those who see it yet marks your demise. What is it?”

Riddler narrowed his eyes at her and backed away to get some space while he thought. He looked down for a second, searching the ground as though it might hold the answer for him. He suddenly looked up, his eyes bright with realization. “A signal!” he exclaimed, jumping with excitement. His face suddenly fell realizing the words that passed his lips.

He spun around just in time for Signal to punch him in the jaw. Riddler stumbled back falling backward on his ass. Signal stalked toward him, eskrima sticks out and ready. He kept his eyes on Riddler but raised his voice so Marinette could hear him. “You alright, Ma’am?”

“I’m fine. Just pissed,” she grunted. She focused on her bindings, trying to figure out a way to loosen them enough to get out.

Signal smirked and gave a short nod. “Preying on young women again? Not a good look for you.”

“Penguin and Scarecrow both tried and couldn’t get to her. I did,” he said defiantly, his chest puffing out even as he was slumped on the floor. “Penguin got to the museum too early. Scarecrow got to the hotel too late. But me? I plan better.”

“And got a verbal bitch slap the likes of which Gotham has never seen for your trouble.” Signal shook his head in mock sympathy and regripped his sticks. “Publicly.”

Riddler sneered at Signal. “It won’t happen again.”

“You’re damn right it won’t,” Marinette called from her seat. She pointed at him threateningly with her now miraculously freed right hand. “Next time I’ll do it physically too.”

Signal grinned proudly and snorted at her comment. Riddler growled before looking back up at Signal with an angry scowl. “Looks like this show has come to an end. But we’ll be back after a short break.” He hit his staff hard on the ground and a gas started emitting from it, obscuring Signal’s view. Signal backed away and rushed over to Marinette, uncertain if the gas was dangerous.

He pulled out a knife and quickly sliced through the remaining ropes and helped her get free. “Can you walk?”

Marinette started sprinting toward the exit. “I can do better than that,” she called over her shoulder. “You just going to stand there and let the gas get you?” Signal smirked and followed her out.

She grunted as her shoulder rammed into the doorframe when she miscalculated the distance. She silently cursed how long it was taking her brain to recover from having been knocked out. Now out of the room she stopped running and rubbed her head as if willing it to kick back into gear.

“You sure you’re okay?” Signal asked catching up to her.

Marinette couldn’t see his eyes under his mask but the bottom half of his face seemed to be contorted in concern. She grumbled noncommittally in response and rubbed her shoulder. She looked around them quickly. “You sure this is a safe way out? He has to have had help. I don’t see him doing his own dirty work.”

Signal nodded. “He did have help. But, so do I.” He nodded behind him.

Marinette craned her neck around him to look behind him. She cringed as she saw Red Hood kneeing someone in the face. The goon fell limply to the ground, unconscious before he hit. Red Hood looked up and ran over to them as soon as he spotted her. “Pi… uh… pretty impressive mouth,” he stuttered. He looked over her closely as he could without touching her. His eyes zeroed in on her cheek.

Marinette stared at him for a few seconds missing the incredulous look Signal tried to give him. “Um… thanks… I think.” She blinked a few more times before frowning. “Yeah, can we not talk about my mouth, please?”

Red Hood choked on nothing and shook his head, leaning away, as if trying to get away from the idea. “I meant your att…” he shook his head again and looked back at her. “Not a problem. Let’s never talk about it again. Are you okay? Did he hurt you anywhere else?” His eyes scanned her again and stopped at her wrists.

Marinette rubbed her wrists self-consciously. “No…” she started. “I mean! No he didn’t hurt me anywhere else. But I am okay,” she rushed out when she saw him tense up at her words.

“Where is he?” Red Hood growled, still staring at her wrists.

“Got away,” Signal answered.

Red hood rounded on him, his entire body tensed for a fight. “What do you mean he got away?”

Marinette stepped between them and pushed Red Hood back gently. “He released some kind of gas. He got me out of there before we found out what it did. Seems like a good move considering how he got me in the first place.”

Red Hood looked down at her for a second before looking up to Signal with a nod. He remembered seeing the gas dissipating when they finally caught up to where she was taken. It had looked like there was enough to knock out an entire city block. Definitely overkill, but spoke to Riddler’s desperation to be the first to kidnap her. “Idea which direction he went?”

Signal sighed a heavy sigh. “I didn’t see which way he went but it had to be out the west side of the room, but that’s all I got.”

Red Hood nodded and touched his com. “You got that?” He paused for a moment listening to whatever was being said over his com. “Yes, she’s fine. A few rope burns and a cut on her cheek, but seems okay other than that.”

Signal nodded and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Do you have family we can call?��

Marinette shook her head absentmindedly, the strain of the night starting to hit. “No, I can call my brother. He’s probably terrified about me.”

Red Hood seemed to freeze. “Just… the one brother? You… aren’t you one of the Waynes?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and her face paled. She plastered a smile on her face. “Right. Yes. Of course. I… I meant my one brother was with me at the time. Yes. Yeah. The Waynes are my family. I’m a… I’m… Yeah, I’m a… Wayne,” she barely managed to get the word out of her mouth. It felt wrong and foreign on her tongue. She smiled wider at them. “But you don’t… you don’t have to bother them. They’re all busy.”

“Yeah, looking for you,” Red Hood answered back sharply. “They’re the ones that called us. They’re terrified right now.”

“I think they’d want to know,” Signal urged gently, his voice heartfelt and slightly pained.

She let out a bitter scoff before she could stop herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and mentally berated her still drugged mind for letting that slip out. “I meant,” she started loudly, “I’ll inform someone. They’d want to… hear it from me,” she finished quietly.

Red Hood took a breath and moved closer to her, gently resting his hands on her shoulders. “I promise you, they’re worried about you and they would want to know. They’d want to make sure you’re okay. They’d want to make sure you feel safe. They would want to protect you. In fact, I’d expect to see a lot more of them over the next few days.”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer but got interrupted by the police breaking into the room. Marinette pursed her lips and seemed to let a calm come over her. Red Hood looked harder at her change as the police led her off to take her statement. No, it wasn’t calm. It was a numbness, an absence of any feelings. His face contorted into a scowl. Exactly what Adrien had described. “You get that,” Red Hood snapped into his com. He waited a few seconds before shaking his head.

“That’s a fool’s bet,” Signal scoffed. “Of course she’s not going to. She might send a text. And even then I bet it won’t be much.”

Red Hood listened for a few more seconds before he shook his head again. “I’m not taking that bet either.” He watched as Adrien just stopped himself from tackling Marinette in his excitement to see her again. After what looked like a worried conversation, he saw Adrien pull her into a tight hug and Marinette melt into it. “We need to fix this and quick before B does anything else to completely destroy any chance we have,” Red Hood snarled. He turned and started grappling away. “I’m going rogue hunting.”

Chapter 17

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#maribat #bio!dad bruce #bio dad bruce wayne #roynette #Even the Losers #mbdbwm2021 #prompt - last name Wayne

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flooffybits · 4 years

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Belong

Idol: Bae Joohyun (Red Velvet)

Request: Yep

Sequel to Ready

No longer living as Irene, Joohyun finds comfort in things she was prohibited from when she was still an idol. This time, she was free to do as she pleased and she was loved, even without all the fame and glamour.

The moment SM released the statement of her no longer being a part of the company, fans were quick to react and comment on the news. Many knew that it was bound to happen, but to have it actually presented, they weren’t entirely sure what to feel.

Fans were torn due to their love for the girls. But even with the sadness of having to say goodbye to one of their favorite idols, they chose to respect her decision after SM announced that they would be holding one last stage as a thank you for her.

It was a trip down memory lane as they transitioned from one era to another, until they sang their most recent song. For the finale, they ended up singing Eyes Locked, Hands Locked with each of the girls smiling to the crowd and each other until they were all holding each other when the song ended.

With the knowledge that this was the last stage together, all the girls’ eyes were shining with tears being held at bay. As soon as they were done, Seulgi squeezed Joohyun’s shoulder as she was given a chance to say goodbye to their fans.

“I know that it’s very sad to say goodbye, so I won’t really be saying that.” She began with a light chuckle. “I will still be here for Red Velvet when they need me, but for now, I hope you can all understand that this was a decision I made for myself.” She says into the mic. “I want to thank every single Luvie out there who has been there for us from the very beginning. It was a rocky start, but you have all shown us your unwavering love and support and I am eternally grateful.”

Sooyoung smiled while she nodded her head, gripping her own mic tightly. “To my members, thank you for all the unforgettable memories. I know that we may be separating ways today, but we will always be able to find each other. I know I’ll still see you, but for now I’ll settle with watching from the back.”

“And that is more than enough.” Seungwan assured her with a side hug. “We’re also very thankful that we were given the pleasure of having you as our leader, friend, and sister. Without you, I think we would have already fallen apart.” Sooyoung chuckled despite her tears. “We’ve always been so reliant on you, unnie, but I think we can survive this. Even though you won’t physically be there for us, I know that you’ll always be our number one supporter.” Yerim added with a teary smile.

Seeing all of them made Joohyun a bit hesitant to actually leave, but as she turned to the crowd, her eyes landed on your face. You were sitting in the front row, smiling softly at your friends and girlfriend with tears of your own, but you tried to keep them discrete.

As soon as she saw you in the crowd, her doubts disappeared and her smile only grew, unaware that tears have managed to escape her eyes until Seungwan gently wiped them away.

After how many years of trying not to cry in front of the camera or her members, this was one of the rare moments that she has let her defenses down. Immediately, the four girls gathered around Joohyun before enveloping her in a warm and tight hug.

You could only smile as your girlfriend slowly exited her idol life, taking a final bow with the people she’s been with since her trainee days. It was a bittersweet moment, but you would talk to her about it when she decided to tell you. For now, you would watch her. But a staff had asked you to accompany you backstage until you found yourself with the five girls.

Seeing all of them much closer, you gave a small wave while standing at the door and Joohyun smiled while she gestured for you to come in. “Unnie, we didn’t know you were coming.” Yerim greeted you with a hug, one you return with just as much enthusiasm.

“Well, when I found out that it was a special event, I wanted to be sure I didn’t miss out.” Joohyun looks sheepish when you reach her and kiss her cheek, but smiles when she pulls you in for a hug. “I wanted to know that SM wasn’t screwing with everyone, too.” You joke and they giggle before shaking their heads.

“No, it’s real.” Seungwan says with a nod. “And, even though it’s been said publicly that I’m the new leader, no one is actually going to be it.” Seulgi says while smiling at your girlfriend. “There’s only one person fit to be Red Velvet’s leader.” She adds and you smile while nodding your head.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” Sooyoung asks and you shake your head. “I’ve been a bit busy with work.” You tell them, sighing softly as Joohyun rubs the back of your hand with her thumb. “Well, your girlfriend is going to be home.” Yerim says playfully and Joohyun gives her a small glare.

The four giggle, making you blink confusedly, not understanding what was happening. Was there another joke you didn’t know of?

Before you could think more about it, your girlfriend is already breaking your line of thought when she noticed your expression and tugged at your arm. “Come on, I have some explaining to do.” She tells you and you nod, letting her bring you along as you both waved goodbye to your friends and headed home.

The entire ride home, Joohyun would not stop stealing glances at you and you could feel it. It made you a bit nervous, but the way she was holding your free hand while you drove was enough to calm your nerves.

When finally inside the confines of your home, Joohyun is already leading you to the living room and sitting you down. Her eyes scan your face before the same beautiful smile blooms on her face and she just can’t help but kiss you.

“I love you so much.”

The sudden admission made your cheeks redden and you lightly pushed her away just so she wouldn’t see it, but she managed to stop you, giggling as she grabbed your wrists. “Stop it. I thought you were going to tell me about the whole thing.” You whine and she just chuckles before nodding her head and then pulling you closer until your back is pressed against her front.

Joohyun takes a moment to think before she’s opening her mouth, her voice as gentle as always. “I didn’t want to tell you right away because I knew that you would try and convince me not to pull through with it.” Of course you wouldn’t want her to give her career up for you. It was something she loved doing so forcing her away from that was something you simply refused to do to her.

It was her passion, ever since you met her, and you always assured her that you understood her whenever her job called for her and she had to be away from you longer than you both would have hoped.

“Before you start saying I shouldn’t have.” She cuts you off, not needing to look at your face to see your brows pinched together and your lips parting to protest. “I thought about it a lot and I realized that there was something that I wanted that I could never achieve while being an idol.” You look down as her fingers lace with yours and she rests your hands over your lap while her chin rested on your shoulder, her lips brushing lightly against the shell of your ear before she’s placing a kiss under it.

“I’ve had my time as Irene with the whole world, but I want to be Joohyun with you. No cameras, no fans, just you and me.” She whispers, squeezing your hands. “I don’t want to keep going away for months without you. I’ve had my share of being apart.” You could practically feel the way her heart was thundering against her chest with how close you two are.

But you listen to her voice as she speaks. The softness and affection that laced with her words made your chest tighten and you had to bite your lip as she went on. “I don’t want to leave and worry about losing you to someone else anymore.” She had to take one hand away and she shifted just to get the box from her jacket’s pocket before slowly bringing it to your line of sight.

As soon as you saw it, your eyes widened and she gave you a small squeeze. “I don’t want to let you go so… I want to make it final with you.” She whispered and placed a kiss on your shoulder. “Will you stay with me?” It wasn’t the exact words, but she wanted to know if you were more than willing to be with her, not just as Irene, but as Joohyun, as her and only her.

Slowly, you pulled away from her and Joohyun felt her heart jump to her throat as you turned to face her. There were so many emotions flashing over your features that she couldn’t catch what exactly it was that you wanted to say to her. You both stared at each other for a while before you spoke, your voice shaky. “Y-You quit because…” The little nod from her was all the answer you needed and you had to stop yourself from crying right then and there.

Your hand pressed gently against her cheek as you gazed into her eyes and she could see, clear as day, the love that reflected in them and she knew that she picked right. “You were and always will be my Joohyun.” You tell her and she smiles as you look back down at the ring. “Of course I’ll stay.” She beams happily before the ring is placed on your finger and she gathers you back into her arms, this time with your face buried into her neck until she’s pulling back to presses kisses all over your face until finally, her lips land on yours.

You may have first known her as Irene, Red Velvet’s admirable leader, but you’ve fallen in love with Joohyun, the woman who loved and cared for those around her. She was still the same woman who cowered at the sound of thunder storms and animals, yet fearless when protecting those she loved, you being one of them. But unlike the rest, she allowed you to look after her.

Because with you, she knows that there would be no judgement. With you, she only grows better and she learns to love more with each passing moment. It was her private getaway that no one could steal from her, and your rings and promises would be the proof of that.

“Do you think I should have gotten the blue one?” Joohyun looks skeptically at the figurine she was holding and you look at her with a little smile on your face. “Relax, Joohyun. I’m sure that she’s going to love it anyway.” You walk over to her and press a kiss to her cheek while you wipe your hands.

You both decided that you would handle the food that day while she went out and bought everything you would be needing for the house. There were decorations scattered in the living room that you both prepared last night, pictures of your two together resting on shelves, while others included your friends and families.

Seeing all of it made Joohyun smile every time she passed by, most especially when her eyes would land on the picture of you, together with your little girl smiling happily to the camera, just next to your wedding photo.

After five long years, she was living her life the best she could imagine it, marrying the love of her life and now having a daughter she loves just as much.

When the news of her marriage came out, reporters were having a field day and articles were made on how you were the reason she had chosen to end her career. It sent everyone into a frenzy, more so when they found out that you were a woman.

Never did they think that the nation’s beauty would be in a relationship, much more with a woman. It brought some negativity, but with her members and true fans, people were much more supportive with the two of you, even when Joohyun refused to be involved with anything to the idol life. She didn’t want you getting mixed with all of it, but when she had had enough, she ended up posting a picture that Seulgi had taken on your wedding day.

Never tear down the happiness of those you love. She helped built mine and I will protect her heart like she’s done with mine for the many years she’s had it

After that, she stayed off of any form of social media to focus on the life she was building with you, but her friends did constantly text both her and you, stating that they were proud and happy for the two of you, even saying how fans were appreciative towards the former idol’s bravery.

She still received gifts, every now and then, along with the letters. And when she thought you weren’t watching, she’d always look at the presents and heartfelt messages with a fond smile on her face until you would wrap your arms around her from behind and press a kiss to her head. “You did amazing.” You would constantly remind her and she would just smile more.

Eventually, things have died down and you were both left alone. And when the girls could, they would drop by to visit the two of you and things would feel like they didn’t change with Sooyoung and Yerim both scheming and stealing your food then Seungwan randomly singing in your living room while Seulgi spoke about the things they’ve done for their latest comeback or tour.

Joohyun would watch all of them with a look of pride and she ended up crying once at just the memory of having all of them in the same building as her, but she wouldn’t trade her life. Not when she had you and her little girl.

“Earth to Joohyun, are you still there?” Your voice snapped her out of her daydreaming and she playfully swatted your arm as you poked her side. A pout came to your lips while stepping away. “Ow, what was that for? I was just asking if you were thirsty.” You whined and she playfully rolled her eyes at your dramatics before she eventually set the toy she was holding then pulled you into a hug.

You return the embrace and press a kiss to her forehead before humming. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” You inquire and she just shakes her head before looking down the hall. “Just some things.” She murmurs as the sound of footsteps reach both your ears and a smile quickly blooms on your face when you let go of her.

“And I think that’s our cue to get to work.” You tell her and she nods while picking the toy back up as you walk to the door that lead to your daughter’s room.

She had to take a moment when you opened up the door and the sleepy little girl greeted the two of you. She saw as the little girl pouted at you and she giggled with how much she saw herself in your daughter despite the fact that you were the one who carried her for nine months.

She was a mix of the two of you that it amazed you both when she was born. Joohyun could not tear her eyes away and was in tears when she first held your daughter, cradling her close to her chest while she kept whispering how much she loved you.

Now, your child was four years old, showing more of your personality and traits that Joohyun has grown to love over the years. Her heart would absolutely melt whenever the two of you were together and when you would both gang up on her just so she would let your daughter stay up a little longer or when she wanted ice cream before lunch.

Even now as you picked up your daughter and carried her toward your wife, Joohyun felt her heart swell with both happiness and pride before she’s taking your daughter into her arms after handing you the toy and showering her face in kisses, making her giggle as she squirmed in her arms. “Mommy, no, I’m awake!” She squealed while you laughed before placing a hand on her arm, signaling her to let your daughter breathe while also reminding her that you still had yet to give her the new toy.

“Baby, you know that little toy you broke last year?” At the mention of it, your daughter nodded sadly, a pout on her face while Joohyun cooed. “Well, mommy has a present for you.”

It was the toy you both have given her when she turned two and she never let go of it, but since it has been a while, the toy ended up giving out and broke while your daughter played with it. The heartbreak on her face when she showed it to you and the big fat tears that fell down her face made both of you feel bad for your little girl and you promised her that you would get her a new one.

But the problem was, finding the toy wasn’t exactly the easiest. With your schedule and Joohyun taking care of your daughter, you didn’t have the time to look for a replacement until Seungwan once offered to babysit on her free day and you thanked her endlessly.

At the sight of the toy, your daughter’s face lit up and she looked at the two of you with amazement swimming in her eyes. “You found it!” She cheered happily as she hugged your wife and you giggled while handing it to her. “We know how much you love it, so mommy and I wanted to get you a new one.” You told her before kissing her forehead.

“Thank you!”

When she gave both of you a kiss, Joohyun finally set her down on her feet, letting her play with her new toy while you finished up with breakfast. However, your daughter decided to be mommy’s little helper and joined you in the kitchen, sitting on the counter while you went to set the plates, happily chatting with your daughter.

Joohyun stood by the doorway and smiled fondly at the sight. Five years ago, you had gotten married, and a year after that, your daughter came into this world. Now, she could happily say that she’s achieved the greatest gift in life as she watched the two of you with her eyes glowing in absolute happiness.

She was with the two people she loved the most and she could have never been happier with her decision all those years ago. Because if she didn’t step back from the spotlight, she wouldn’t be where she is now.

With you and your daughter was her home, and she was right where she belonged.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #red velvet #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #red velvet irene #irene #irene bae #bae joohyun #irene scenarios #irene imagines

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bunny-wk-fanfic · 4 years

Note

Hey I am glad you are doing okay, I was worried for you. I would like to request a Kagome and Dante (Devil May Cry). Maybe Dante thinks he needs to save Kagome from some demons, but Kagome got it covered with her abilities? I love when Kagome kicks ass. Stay safe.

Been a long time since I’ve done anything DMC wise, hope this still entertains you.

Leaning against the tree, he could honestly say he was enjoying the show. How could he not? It appealed to every part of him.

The job he had taken had been slightly restricting in that it brought him to Tokyo, a sudden increase in missing young women and high school girls had become a cause for concern. Especially since there were no ‘normal’ explanations behind the disappearances. So when he had been asked, he took the job.

Arms crossing over his chest, he smirked when the petite figure easily took down a brute at least three times her size, wincing in male sympathy when she brought her knee up sharply between his legs only to give him a quick kick in the head. He bet those heels gave an extra sting to the sudden blow.

If he didn’t know half the women in his life, he would question how this woman was able to do half the stunts she was pulling off in those heels. But damn, if they and her pants didn’t make her legs seem endless, the pants being skin tight also didn’t leave much to the imagination. Though he did wonder how her breezy little top didn’t shift or reveal anything so far.

He tensed when the ugliest of the bunch launched itself at the woman, it’s intent to outright kill rather than kidnap as had been obvious in the beginning. Hands reaching for his guns, he barely drew them when the woman spun, arms out and a quick burst of bright light filled the area. The creature’s screech quickly ended to echo eerily in the air as a pile of ash landed at the woman’s feet.

“What the fuck are you?” the ‘brains’ of the group cried out, quick to scramble away from the woman when she turned back to face them.

Face set in an upset scowl, the woman scoffed. “If you have to ask that, then you’re about a 100 years too young to think you can take me on.” her stance shifted ever so subtly, a stance he was familiar with, it spoke of experience in fighting. Not that he doubted she couldn’t, if what with the past 15 minutes were anything to go by.

Shivering, he felt the lingering traces of that ‘light’ it was the oddest sensation he had ever felt from a human, and he was sure she was completely human as he sensed nothing demonic from her.

“So, I’m giving you this chance and this chance only.” fingers flexed at her sides, gaze locked on the leader of the group.

“Oh yeah? To what?” said leader scoffed, wiping a small trail of blood from his chin.

“To release the women you’ve already stolen, if they’re still in your possession, and you’ll have the ability to walk away alive.” a brow ticked when the group snickered and laughed at her proposition.

He would have taken it, knowing when to cut his losses. What the woman was offering was more than gracious, he would have simply beat the information out of them, and depending on their answers, may or may not of let them live. It would depend on his mood upon learning the truth.

“I’ll enjoy breaking you personally.” the leader smirked. “First one to get her, I’ll let them have my seconds.”

Tensing at the words, he slowly withdrew his weapons, fully intent on getting rid of the muscle and maiming the leader. He wouldn’t need the use of certain parts of his anatomy to reveal where the women were, which was hopefully holed up somewhere alive.

“Trust me woman, you’ll be a sloppy mess when I’m done with you.” he made a show of licking his fangs, cracking his knuckles to draw attention to his claws.

With a flick of her wrist, her hair was tossed over her shoulder. “How juvenile.” and just like that, she was taking them on single-handedly. Her moves were graceful, using the bare minimum of energy, in fact, she used her enemies energy against them. It was actually sort of seductive, though not in the way Trish fought, but it had its appeal. There was nothing hotter than seeing a woman kicking ass in his personal opinion, so he was content to watch. That was, until he saw one of them sneaking up on her from behind, and he finally saw fit to step in.

Drawing his weapons, a shot rang through the air causing all to turn and face him.

“And who the fuck are you?” the leader spat, snarling at this point and losing control of his human appearance.

“Just someone out for a night stroll and saw this attractive woman in a spot of trouble, so I thought to lend a helping hand.” he used Ivory to give a mock salute, grinning at the last three as he had just taken out one of the brutes.

The leader lifted his nose into the air, making it obvious he was actually scenting the air. “Helping hand my ass! You’re trying to pouch our target!”

A snort from the woman drew their gaze to her. “...like that was going to happen.”

“I gotta agree with her, looks like you were getting your asses handed to ya.” he smirked, being sure to wink at the woman when he stopped next to her. His smirk grew at her obvious confusion.

“No bitch-!” before he could complete his comment, the leader gagged when a fist landed a solid hit in his throat. Hands scrambling at the now bruised flesh, he chocked and attempted to direct the two next to him. They appeared to have some form of intelligence, if their immediate jump into action was anything to go on.

“By the Kami, he complains a lot.” the woman slipped next to him, easily keeping up to his own fighting style.

“Well you did say he was young, and brats do enjoy pitching fits when they don’t get their way.” smirk still in place, he observed the smaller brute eye him, though their gaze would shoot to the woman that was easily handling the larger of the two with some trepidation.

There was a soft snort from behind. “Speaking from personal experience?” if it weren’t for the teasing tone in her voice, he was sure she was taking verbal shots at him.

“The likes of which you wouldn’t believe, Honey.” stepping back, he folded his arms over his chest when he saw that the two brutes decided to take on the bigger threat. A woman as tall as 5’5’’, he was sure at least a couple of inches were due to her shoes.

“Honey? I wasn’t aware that we were on close terms.” with a wave of her hand, a shimmering barrier popped up around them, leaving her time to turn and face him, blue eyes shining in the dim light from the distant lamp.

“Would you prefer babe? Sexy? Gorgeous?” with a slight waggle of his brows, he chuckled at her scoff and eye roll.

“...red clad, silver haired jerks… I’m surrounded by them…” her mumbled words were curious, but he didn’t get a chance to ask what she meant as she pulled out a cell phone, making him wonder where she kept it hidden. Any attempt to find a pocket had her snapping her fingers. “Oi! You want to keep those pretty eyes in your head?”

Leaning down to be closer to her height, his smirk grew when a cute blush colored her cheeks. “You think I got pretty eyes?”

She didn’t deign to answer him, instead choosing to talk to the person on the other end of her call. “Yeah, found the one responsible, he’s here with two others. Just track the GPS from this call.”

Realizing that his attempted catch was actually bait, the leader croaked out in an attempt to call the others into leaving. No sooner had they turned their backs to flee, did the barrier shift to encase them instead.

“Nifty trick. How are you doing that?” a low hiss escaped him when he wrapped his knuckles against the semi-solid surface of the barrier a few time. It stung a lot more than he thought it would!

“I thought with you being half demon, you would know what a holy person is capable of.” her cell phone was mysteriously tucked away again. Where, he had no idea though he seriously wanted to know.

“Honey, I’ve met my fair share of ‘holy’ people,” he made a show of eyeing her from top to bottom. She was attractive. Long black hair, that now looked wild from fighting these demons, framed her delicate face that housed her surprisingly vivid blue eyes, surprising in her obvious Asian features, and plump lips. She was slim, though there was subtle definition that spoke of a more active lifestyle than most women. It wasn’t as defined as Lady, but it was there. “And let me tell you, I’ve never seen a nun dress like you do.”

“I’m not a nun. I’m a miko; shrine maiden, shameness, holy warrior. Take your pick.” at his low whistle, a brow rose in silent question.

“A miko? Didn’t think any were still around. You're my first.” he stroked his chin, attempting to recall having met another like her.

Head canted to the side, she rolled her eyes. “...bet that doesn’t pass your lips often…”

Grinning at hearing the words, once again leaning down closer to her level. “Honey, you’ll need to buy me a drink and dinner before asking about my lips and their possible activities.”

Blue eyes narrowed on him, not in anger, but in contemplation. Her nose quickly wrinkled as her lips pinched. Soon she flinched back as she shook her head, as if attempting to shake off some thought, groaning only for it to end in a whine.

“You okay there, Honey?” he was honestly amused by her expressions. Trish, due to her nature, was poor at expressing herself save for extreme moments. As for Lady, she also seemed to have a set of emotions that she was willing to publicly display, everything else were kept private. But this woman, now that the three were contained, was easily expressing her thoughts and emotions.

“Please, shut up. With your words and appearance, my mind went down a forbidden path.” she quickly pinched the bridge of her nose, once again muttering under her breath.

“Miko, your ability to attract riff-raff with little effort never ceases to entertain me.” the voice drew their attention to an approaching male.

Dante whistled lowly at the amount of power this male carried with ease. The male was obviously not human, demon of some kind, wore a business suit that was tailored to his size. Despite his apparent Japanese appearance, he was tall, standing perhaps at his own height.

“Does that include you, Sesshoumaru? Remember, you came to me in the end, not the other way around.” there was a tilt to her lips, a teasing tone to her words.

A brow was merely raised as the now identified male stopped next to her, golden eyes slowly closing when he seemed to realize that her words must have held some truth. Dante blinked when those eyes turned to him. “...I’ve heard of you, son of Sparda.”

“Same, son of the General.” smirking at the slight narrowing of those golden eyes, he turned his attention back to the Miko when Sesshoumaru approached the three contained males. “He always this excitable?”

“You don’t know the half of it.” her attention was more focused on her acquaintance and the three males, waiting for a signal from Sesshoumaru. The moment she had it, the barrier was down and the three were being escorted by more of Sesshoumaru’s agents.

While he was happy that the threat was taken care of, the reason he took on this job was an attempt to find those that went missing. “What about the missing women and girls?”

“They will reveal where they are.” Sesshoumaru spoke up, pulling out a wallet as he approached them. “One way or another. I believe this was the amount this ‘job’ offered you in finding the females.”

Dante didn’t accept the money, though it was tempting. “Why give me this?”

“Allow the families to keep their money, they will need it upon the conclusion of learning the truth of what happened to their females. This paltry amount is of little consequence to me.” the money was once again offered.

Going over the words, Dante figured it was true. Learning that demons were real would be traumatizing for those women and girls, the medical bills for any injuries they suffered was also going to add up. “Alright. Guess I can take you out to dinner now, Honey!”

“We never agreed to any such thing. Nor am I interested in learning of your illicit affairs.” offering a mock salute, she spun about and began walking away, no doubt home being her destination at this hour.

“Miko.” the single utterance had the woman freezing, shoulders hunching as she turned to toss a stink eye at the stoic male, it darkened at seeing his smirk.

“Fine!” the words were growled through clenched teeth. “Come along, Oh great son of Sparda! I shall direct you to where you can receive the best accommodations in payment to seeing to the return of our missing women folk!”

Snickering under his breath, it became outright laughter when her ire was quickly directed at him. It didn’t stop him from make his way to her side, following her out of the park and to where said accommodations were no doubt going to be. “Honey, you’re a sure spit fire, I’m gonna enjoy getting to know you.”

“Don’t, you’re free to leave at your earliest convenience.” she was practically stomping along the pavement, grumbling under her breath about brats and the males in her life. “I already babysit one silver haired idiot with a fondness for red, I don’t need another in my life.” she gave him a quick look over, brows pinched. “Do you always use guns? Or do you have other weapons?”

“I have a sword, why?” he was honestly curious, wondering why what weapons he used had to do with their current conversation.

“Great. No doubt you’ll meet each other sooner rather than later and start a fricken pissing contest about who has the bigger sword.” she started mumbling again, her anger causing tiny sparks to fly from her.

Dante was honestly entertained, and so glad that this job didn’t go as planned. Normally when things didn’t go as planned, the shit hit the fan leaving him with more work to do. “Well, size is great and all, but it’s useless without technique.” smirking at the look she tossed him, it was downright venomous, and she looked ready to spit fire, he relaxed as they continued on. “But don’t worry about that, Honey, you still have to buy me that drink first.” tossing a wink at her, he laughed as she sputtered for any sort of come back.

#fanfiction #games #Devil May Cry #inuyasha #Kagome Higurashi #Sesshoumaru #Dante #Dante Sparda

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auror-lovie · 4 years

Text

I Loved You, Mr. Scamander; Ending 1 Part 2

━━━•✦.✧. Author’s Note.✧.✦•━

WAIT Y’ALL ACTUALLY LIKE VICTORIA???

PLOT TWIST!

━━━━━•✦.✧. Summary .✧.✦•━

Victoria always thought that writing out her feelings would make them disappear. And it worked!... Until Paris. When she returned home, she reread the letters she wrote about them.

━━━━━•✦.✧. Add-Ons .✧.✦•━

TW; SELF HARM: Picking at skin

THETORIA (Theseus/Victoria) SUBTEXT (If you don’t want to read this then just click away)

━━━━━━•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•━━━━━

After what happened in Paris, Victoria decided to take a break from working in the Ministry. She had just lost so much that it was taking a toll on her. Years of emotional baggage, finally released but at what cost? Her leaving the people she loved?

Yeah. That idea sounded better in her head.

A year away from the Ministry made her realize how mundane the muggle world was. In that year, she put her wand back in its box that Ollivander gave her all those years ago and put that box in a trunk that stayed in her closet. She distanced herself from the wizarding world, only keeping tabs via The Daily Prophet.

Though she thought the muggle world was a bit mundane, she found herself falling in love with the muggle world, despite its flaws.

She needed income if she was going to keep living in that flat. So Victoria had cut her hair and started wearing men's clothing. She managed to charm her identification card to present herself as a male and got a job as a bartender.

When she wasn’t at work, she often strolled through the parks. Reading a book, thinking, or just… observing. Muggles were like wizards- possibly more advanced than they were. They had their own problems, their own battles, their own wars to fight.

Then she’d return home. Home to the flat that she shared with (Y/N). Even though she knew (Y/N) was gone, it didn’t stop Victoria from announcing that she was home. Old habits die hard.

“(Y/N)... I’m home…” Victoria whispered.

No answer.

Victoria closed the door to her flat and walked over to the couch. She sat down and eyed a small box that sat on the coffee table in front of her. It was like the box was taunting her to open it, but if she were, the memories of her curse would reveal itself.

Her curse? She loved people too much.

She had put so much love into the world without expecting the world to reciprocate. She’s had many infatuations, but those died out within weeks or a month after she realized her affections.

There were only people in Victoria’s life that she ever truly loved, but due to circumstances, she only allowed herself to love them from afar. Hesitantly, she opened a small box. This box contained the letters to all the people she’s ever loved- not like she’d ever let those people read it. Opening the box, she picked up and opened the first letter her fingers touched…

Newt.

Wednesday 02 December 1908

Newton,

I’m writing this because I’m in love with you. I fell in love with your unfailing kindness. You were so kind to me and (Y/N). You were kind to the creatures you loved so much and I have a feeling that you’ll continue to hold this kindness. For your mind, as brilliant as it is, cannot comprehend extreme levels of cruelty or evil. You don’t have a wicked bone in your body, and I think that's something that we can all aspire to have.

Where kindness exists, generosity usually follows. My love, you have proven this quality in multitudes, as you are generous with your time and energy in taking care of us and your beloved creatures. Adding to that, your kindness and generosity lead to loyalty. Whether you are aware of it or not, you’re incredibly loyal to those you hold close- and I can’t help but be drawn to that.

Now, the other students would call you "weird". You are NOT weird- far from it. You love what you love, and you’re not going to apologize to anyone for it. With a mad twinkle in your eye, you lead us into a world of magical creatures with a sly smile.

Simply put, you’re a Hufflepuff through and through. You are hard-working, kind, generous, and selfless — with a touch of madness, and extreme loyalty all included. And for that, I love you. I just wish I could tell you, but (Y/N) loves you too.

And her happiness comes before mine.

- Victoria

She sighed and put Newt’s letter back into the envelope. Victoria picked up and opened the next letter.

(Y/N).

Wednesday 16 November 1910

(Y/N),

The most kindhearted Ravenclaw I’ve ever met. I think you deserve the world, yet somehow I don’t think you always see that. But I want you to know, I often find myself wondering what I did to deserve you.

You taught me what a soulmate really is, and I wouldn’t be able to survive without having you in my life. You come into people’s lives with a purpose and you change them. You make every single person around you better, without even realizing it.

You light up every room and lift every single person around you. You get to know the ones you hold close down to their very core, even when they’re hard to get to know. I would know- I was really closed off when we first met.

I could use up so many pieces of parchment, declaring my love for you but you don’t need that from me. You’re so in love with Newt. I can see it in your eyes. When we have Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw joint classes, you’re running over to his side. When we enter the Great Hall, you’re looking for him.

It hurts my heart to see you cry or be sad over Newt. Half of me tells you, “Everything will be okay. Just tell him when you’re ready”. What the other half of me really wants to say is “If he can’t see your worth now, then he doesn’t deserve it ever.” But you love Newt with all your heart and I wouldn’t dare get in the way of your happiness.

I love you, (Y/N). And I think I always will.

-Vi

Victoria hadn’t realized the tears forming in her eyes until a tear dropped onto the letter. She sniffled, wiping her eyes with her free hand. “Okay (Y/N), I’ve taken my break. I’m coming back to the Ministry… to get you back.”

•✦.✧.☾.✧.✦•

A year was long enough. It was long enough to heal- to move on.

She returned to the Ministry. Walking into the main hall, she made her way to the Minister of Magic’s office.

“Miss Howard, are you sure you want to return? I am aware of your loss and if you don’t want to continue working for us, then I completely understand.” The Minister of Magic, Hector Fawley, asked.

Victoria nodded, “Yes, sir. I’m sure.”

“Alright then. You came in at the right time. I believe Travers and Scamander are with the others. Follow me.” Fawley informed, standing from his desk.

She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, despite her hair still being short. It was a force of habit she wasn’t able to break due to her anxiety. “Of course.”

Fawley guided her to the meeting room she knew all too well. She could hear Theseus’ voice through the door. Fawley gave no warning before he entered the room. “Travers, Mr. Scamander, I apologize for the interruption, but I do have an announcement to make. An Auror is coming out of… “retirement” to join your ranks.”

Victoria could hear his introduction spiel and picked at her cuticles. Her foot tapped impatiently. Fawley didn’t have to publicly announce her return. A nice private meeting would’ve been nice.

“Well, where is he?” Travers’ voice echoed.

Victoria stared at the door and gulped. Was she ready to face them again? Was she ready to face him?

“How bold of you to assume it’s a man joining you today,” Fawley replied. “Come on, Howard. Don’t keep your fellow Aurors waiting.”

Theseus’ head snapped up, looking at the doors. ‘Howard?’

She let out a shaky sigh before entering the meeting room. Eyes immediately darted to her. Her eyes met Theseus’ for just a moment before she focused on the bookshelf behind him.

Travers scoffed. “You can obviously tell that this Auror is a male.”

Victoria cringed. She felt her hands curl up into fists. Her knuckles turned white and small crescent moons were starting to form on her palm. It took everything in her power to not punch her superior. She exhaled deeply, unclenching her fists.

Theseus looked at the Auror that made their way into the meeting room. He looked down at their hands- Victoria now picking at her cuticles again. “Victoria?” Theseus asked to confirm his theory.

She looked back at him and nodded. “Hello.”

~*~*~

After a long day filled with meetings and settling back in, Victoria was exhausted and couldn’t wait to go back home. Once she organized the last file a soft knock was at her door.

“Come in!” She said, a small yawn following it.

“Victoria. Ah- hello again.” Theseus greeted as he entered her office. “Hope you’re settling in nicely.”

“You know, Scamander, you don’t have to tread lightly around me. I did my time. I asked for space and all of you respected that.” Victoria said, putting on her blazer as she walked to the entrance to her office.

Theseus cleared his throat. “T-That’s good. You heading home?”

Victoria nodded, “Of course! I can’t sleep in my office… unlike some people.” She teased.

“May I walk you home?”

Victoria looked at her watch. “Hmm… Since you’re offering. Sure.”

The walk consisted of them catching up. He asked about her new hairstyle and what she’d been doing for the past year.

“I like it. It’s cute. Now you can’t hide your face behind your hair whenever I make fun of you.” He said, ruffling her hair.

“Yeah, yeah. You’ll mess up my hair no matter the length.” Victoria laughed, lightly whacking his hand away.

When they arrived at her place, Theseus looked around. Despite (Y/N) not living here, it seemed that she still did.

“Make yourself at home. I’m just going to change out.” She said, pointing to the couch before walking to her room.

Theseus walked to the couch and sat down. He looked around to see the photos of her and (Y/N) ranging from their Hogwarts years to the present.

He then looked at the box that sat in front of her. That box held three letters. He knew it would be rude to read them, but something was just calling out to him. So he slowly opened the box and took out the letters.

At first, he smiled when he saw that the letters were for Newt, him, and (Y/N). Then when he read Newt’s letter, something changed. He was confused. ‘Since when did she love Newt? Wait, she loved (Y/N)?’

Theseus was anxious to read his letter but proceeded anyway. As he read his letter, his heart was filled with mixed emotions.

He read aloud the last paragraph, “And all those times you made me smile and laugh, I fell in love with you. I hoped and prayed to whatever celestial being that could hear me. I wanted you to love me too, but you were already in love with (Y/N). No matter how many times you denied it, I saw it in your eyes. You have the same tells as your brother. I know because I loved him too at one point, so I noticed things. I’ve said it many times over the years and I’ll say it again, her happiness and well-being will always come before mine.”

“I loved you, Theseus Scamander,” Theseus whispered as if to keep that to himself.

Victoria gasped from behind him. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

He scoffed. “Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with a letter. Newt and (Y/N) got one too? Did they get to read their letter? Were you ever going to tell me?” He asked, standing up and turning to face her with all three letters in his hand.

“No! They didn’t. And you weren’t supposed to read them either. I was planning on not telling any of you” Victoria bit the inside of her cheek.

“Then why did you write them?” He asked, setting the letters back on the table.

“I was afraid of rejection. It was obvious that you and Newt fell in love with (Y/N). So when I wrote the letters, it was me saying “I love them and I’m aware that they won’t love me as I do them”. And in writing those letters, I laid out how I felt and from there I forced myself to move on.” Victoria explained.

Theseus stared in shock.

“Look, I’m not asking you to love me back in any way, shape, or form.” She sighed, picking at her skin.

“Victoria-”

“J-Just go. I know I invited you in here, but you need to go… Please.”

Theseus observed her actions and it didn’t seem like it was going to stop. “Victoria, you’re going to end up hurting yourself!” He said, walking over to her and quickly grabbing her hands.

“Theseus… Please just go. You read the damn letters. You know now.” Victoria cried.

He shook his head. “Not when you’re hurting like this. I’m not going to leave you alone.”

“But what about Leta?”

“We broke it off. We decided that getting together during a time like this would probably do more harm than good.” He said, holding her hands.

“Oh… I’m sorry…” She whispered.

“We can talk about that later. I’m staying to promise you something.”

She raised a brow. “Last time you promised me something, you broke it.”

“Well, I intend on keeping this one.”

“Then out with it, Scamander! I’m not getting any younger.” She joked, sniffling softly.

“I’m going to help you find her. I’m going to stay by your side and support you for as long as you want me to. I want to see a day where you’re not harming yourself due to stress or anxiety.”

“Then stay.”

And he did.

#fbawtft #fbtcog #newt scamander #theseus scamander #theseus scamander x oc #newt scamander x oc #(y/n) x oc #harry potter fanfiction #fantastic beasts fanfiction #Series: ILYMS #tw: self harm

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greymattermaelstrom · 5 years

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NYCC 2019 Outlander a sort of life ...

Discovered OL just over a year ago. What a ride! I think I’m still in one piece, though have a few scars! Only joined Tumblr a few weeks ago. This is my first original post for Tumblr. In at the deep end!! Sometimes I don’t know where I am on the Sam and Cait ‘are they, aren’t they’ continuum. I know I’m not alone. I have watched NYCC 2019 a number of times now, it is so good. Ginger and the cast were in fine form.

However, there is a section that I found particularly intriguing. I’m not sure why there was such emotion amongst some of the panel at this point. There are 2 full versions available publicly. The one that piqued my interest was the live stream version that I find on Facebook (not the final official version on YouTube).

FB search: Outlander NYCC Panel. There are differing camera angles between the two versions. YT version has a long-shot of this part. The streamed version has a much closer mid-shot as per below. You can see expressions, body language and interaction between these 4 members quite clearly. I’ve watched this 3-4 min part many times and almost always notice new things with each subsequent viewing as it’s hard to focus on 4 people at the same time. So I am putting this out there hoping some may find it as interesting as I did. Apologies if this particular part has already been discussed in detail elsewhere, but as a Tumblr newb, I haven’t found it as yet. It really helps to watch the streamed video on a good screen, the bigger the better to catch it all.

44:38 Caitriona is speaking and her voice breaks a bit on the words: really true, when speaking about her marriage with Frank before the Stones. Please view vid around this mark for context. Duncan shifts his gaze after C says this. Sam’s foot is swinging (body language experts pls) and his eyes are getting moist and he shifts position and puts his hand to his mouth (to stop his mouth trembling?). Meanwhile, Maria is getting emotional listening to this and her eyes glint. Brave C tries to say something else but decides not to and she plays with her hair as she does when I think she feels vulnerable/emotional/unsure. Duncan claps a little and tries not to shed a tear I think. C finishes and is trying hard to hold it together. Seeing that S is a bit emotional makes it hard for her I think. I found this short bit a start of the emotions found later from 47:59 where Cait then talks about Claire not being her full self and living as a compromised woman in the 60′s without living to her potential back with Jamie.

As Cait continues, 48:14 Sam pinches his nose and wipes his mouth and I sense becomes a little more emotional as do Duncan and Maria.

48:16 Sam thinks Cait is about to specifically describe the time J and C are apart and motions accordingly, but Cait talks about a slightly different part and you see her foot move up in recognition, like a sympathetic reflex, that she saw Jamie’s gesticulation and I think S sees this acknowledgment.

48:39 Maria and Duncan become more emotional and it’s on their faces. Sam is listening and watching like a hawk and he is getting more emotional.

48:47 Sam shrugs his shoulders as a sympathetic reflex of his own?

48:49 I don’t quite know how Cait kept it together whilst she spoke, maybe she had made that point before and/or rehearsed it - which is fine. She is quite emotional when she finishes as is Sam. Duncan is eyeing her I think, to see if she is ok? (relatively speaking). Cait does very well to recompose herself from that emotional place. That’s some heavy stuff there. I think when C says ‘ .. their hearts and their souls are ageless with each other.’ C sees Sam is emotional and that sets off C even more I think? M smiles at Cait’s last line. Why is it so emotional for the four of them? Was C tactfully emphasising her mature love view of JC (that OL is not a skin show)? She has copped a bit of flack that S4 doesn’t have a lot of intimate scenes along with her horny grannies podcast comment.

Is she saying she can’t live a normal married life (with whomever it is i.e.Tony, or Sam or someone else)? If it’s with Sam, the 4 cast members would know and empathise with the SC together narrative - that they are hiding it for security reasons and/or NDA. Or C is married to Tony and S loves C and knows he will never have her and C knows this and can see S is upset? Or he doesn’t quite approve of C and T? Are they reminiscing about the simple, heady euphoria they seemed to enjoy in the early days and things now have become so much more complicated? Or something happened but they are still fond of that time? These are just my thoughts. Happy to look at all other scenarios

48:55 Duncan is upset and now wipes a tear. Can’t eye-roll that one away. Sam’s eyes are quite moist. He’s trying to keep it together as does C. I imagine the pre-panel drinks have kicked in by now which can emphasis emotions. I don’t blame them for needing dutch courage for the panel. They would have been on tenterhooks about so many things. Maybe they had a choice, maybe they didn’t.

48:59 Thankfully the next fan question is delivered quickly and a nice comment about Underarmour activewear gives SC a reason to smile and press on quickly. It was good to see SC smile at each other and regain some composure. Whatever the backstory is, I felt for them. All four smile as the fan’s question continues and they needed that. C is smiling and mirroring Sam nodding along to the irons in the fire fan question and is fidgeting with the corner of a piece of paper whilst listening which is similar to Sam’s recent foot swinging.

49:26 Now this is very interesting! Most of us know about Cait’s head shake when the fan asked Sam ‘Do you sleep, ever?’ Duncan smiles and turns his head to SC and when Duncan sees Cait shaking her head, I believe Cait and Duncan make eye contact. D’s smile drops straight away, which C sees. D’s thinking, what are you doing? Cait’s thinking, Yes, what am I doing? D turns away with a serious face and continues his beard stroking. C’s head doesn’t move but her eyes drop in contemplation or ?. Then her head drops and she has a big swallow. She raises her eyebrows to stop a tear from falling? We’ve all done that. I’d like to really know what is happening there?? I’m sure you would also. She is emotional and shortly recomposes herself to an extent.

The second part of the question to S was 'Do you have a particularly favourite season or scene from OL ..’? Then S takes this opportunity to tell his ‘what is Jamie like without Claire story’, again. Is he answering the question or trying to share an allegory of their relationship secrets?? Not sure why he would refer to that bit otherwise? C had possibly just put her allegory out there, so S wants to support that with his. Perhaps SC had discussed this breadcrumb code beforehand?? If not that scenario, they still appear to be alluding to something!

49:57 Sam says, ‘He found is way back. He found a sort of life, I think’ and Cait nods with her head down. And then there was some tension relief from C and DB. Ha, Ha! And S says the Wedding Scene! Everyone laughs. Phew!

50:42 Cait gets something out of her eye a few times past this point.

51:41 Sam wipes his eye. And is still emotional.

52:15 DB gets something out of his eye. May not be anything. Could be something in the air!

These snapshots are of the streaming video and would be covered by the fair use policy I would think.

There is a lot happening in these few minutes. I’m sure you’ll find something else as well. I feel sometimes that I have invaded their privacy by looking at this under a microscope. However, it is a public event and the video is in the public domain. They know some will analyze it. That’s one reason they are on tenterhooks I think. Unfortunately, with so much conflicting disclosure and non-disclosure, we can’t really be blamed for trying to join the dots I don’t think.

I’m trying to be reasonably objective here although it is hard for me to be totally unbiased. I just find this interesting. If you don’t, then that’s totally fine. I get that some peeps are really over this. I would just ask that any comments be as civil and constructive as possible please. Thanks. Enjoy!!

#Outlander

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tastytatsu · 5 years

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KnB Valentine’s Day Challenge Day 3

Happy KnB Vday Event Day 3! This was really quick, hope you all like it. Mido is not one I’ve written too much about, but I hope this does him justice.

Prompts by (and much love to): @vanilla-daydreams and @theuglycrybaby

Day 3: Flowers/You’re beautiful, you know that?

Mido x Reader, in which he confesses (...?)

It’s not often that Midorima catches you off guard. As long as you two have been friends, you’ve become an expert at interpreting the underlying meanings behind his cold actions and stiff words.

But when you arrive at your desk at school in the morning, you really couldn’t have foreseen the bouquet of red roses sitting on your desk.

“Morning, Shin,” you greet, your gaze still glued onto the flowers occupying the entirety of your desk. “What’s this…?”

If you’d asked anyone who had come to school early today, they’d have told you the green-haired boy had been waiting by your desk even before you’d arrived. And unbeknownst to you, although he’d been practicing what to say on Valentine’s in his head for the past week, he finds himself losing resolve at the last second.

“Your lucky item for the day,” he finally answers, his voice toneless as he adjusts his glasses on his nose bridge.

Your head whips upward and you squint your eyes at him. This couldn’t be… no way. Unless, it is…

You shoot a glance to the fellow, friendly neighbourhood Shin-translator, and sure enough, Takao confirms your thoughts and sends you two thumbs up a few desks over.

Giddiness makes its way up your spine, and a smile emerges on your face before you can stop it. “Shin. My mom was watching Oha Asa this morning. This isn’t my lucky item.”

And here begins the impasse. The green-haired boy says nothing for a moment, only adjusting the glasses on his face. He looks like he wants to say something more, but you know it’s a struggle for him to do so in a busy classroom of about twenty other people.

You won’t push him though. Most eyes had turned both your ways as soon as you’d walked into the room, and you value your privacy as much as he does.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t tweak the limits a little.

“Don’t worry, Shin.” You peer up at him through your lashes. “It’s okay, I get it. My lucky item today is a carrot, and I always have one with me,” you say with a honey-sweet smile.

I like you too, carrot, is what you wish you could say, but if Shin is anything, he’s clever. You have absolute trust that he’ll catch on.

And sure enough, there it is, the corner of Shin’s mouth twitches. But your smile and the tinge of red warming his ears is too much for him, and he moves to take the flowers from your desk.

“Ah. My mistake. It’s my lucky item.”

You grab onto his taped fingers before he can remove them.

There’s a million things you want to say in this moment to show him how much you love the flowers, love that he went out of his way to get them and put them on your desk so publicly like that, how much you reciprocate and just adore him—but you’re still in class. And under the watchful eyes of twenty or more students. Not to mention, you’re not sure how Shin would ever survive that direct onslaught of emotions.

Instead, you watch as the sun plays with the hue of his unique hair; from the locks on his head, to the delicate brush fanning his eyes. You tug his hand so that he’s leaning toward you.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” You say in a low voice and watch with great amusement as his pretty lashes flutter in astonishment. And he pulls his hand away with pink staining his cheeks.

“That’s what I was supposed to say to you,” he whispers back, his tone strained. There’s nothing Midorima hates more than losing, and losing out on a personal goal.

“You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take,” you tease.

To be fair, you should have at least expected what would happen next. But you don’t. Instead, before you can even release your grip on his hand and straighten from both of you being hunched over your desk, you’re being pulled forward instead.

And all you can register is a flash of green before firm lips are slanted over yours in a chaste kiss.

When Shin pulls away, you’re so shocked you don’t even register the low whistle a few desks over and the gasps of nearby bystanders.

“I never miss,” is all Shin says, his glasses flashing for a split second as he pushes them up his nose. “I also have my lucky item with me all the time, after all.”

With that, he turns away to take a seat at his desk.

Once you’ve recovered from being stunned frozen, you realise it’s the closest to a Happy Valentine’s you’ll get from him in this crowded classroom.

#midorima shintarou #midorima #shintarou #midorima x reader #midorimaxreader #Kuroko no Basuke #kuroko’s basketball #reader insert #imagined #scenarios #knbvdaychallenge2020 #drabbles #knb #kuroko no basket

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candyshua · 5 years

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When Our Star Burns Out || Jeon Wonwoo x Reader

When you meet a strange boy by the name of Wonwoo through a game of dodgeball, you would have never expected him to change your life the way he did.

Genre: Heavy angst & tooth-rotting fluff

Word Count: 10,121

Warnings: Death, alcohol, mentions of sex, cursing, & cancer

A/N: i really hope you guys enjoy this. i spent so long writing this and i’m actually quite proud of it!! this is a very long oneshot as you can see, but i really hope you guys like it:))

You and Wonwoo had met in one of the most odd and unconventional ways a pair of human beings could possibly ever meet. You were 17 at the time, in the prime of your rebellious phase. You had always hated the way the world worked, with its cruel and unjust ways. You had worn colorless clothing, dyed your hair red without asking your parents (they made you dye it back to its original color the day after they found out), and got your belly button pierced with a fake ID. It was safe to say that you did things your way, and your way only.

Yet, somehow, you found yourself at your friend’s birthday party in a trampoline park on a Friday night, when you could be drinking or smoking or literally anything else besides that. It was the middle of January, yet the cold weather outside didn’t even compare to the cold words you had told your friend, Jinah, when she invited you.

“What are we, elementary school kids? That sounds fucking lame.” You had hissed. Jinah, however, was used to you and your off-putting ways.

“There will be free food and cake. All you have to do is get me a stupid gift and show up.”

And so you had found yourself at the trampoline park on that fateful January night. It was called Jumping and Jittering, which made you want to projectile vomit all over the neon-lit letters in front of the building. When you had walked inside, you were greeted with bunches of little kids running around and screaming. You instantly regretted showing your face at that stupid party.

The place was huge, though. The ceilings were very high, and its walls were an uncharming orange hue. In the way back, there were many mini trampolines where people could jump freely. There was also an obstacle course, a jousting station where kids fell into pits of plush, and most importantly, the dodgeball section. You were attracted to it immediately, and you somehow found yourself leading Jinah and the attendees of her party to said place.

And then, you saw him. Once you walked into the game of dodgeball, your eyes locked with a rather handsome and pleasant looking boy, who seemed to be around your age. You immediately looked away after you made eye contact, ignoring the sudden jolts of electricity that dashed around your entire body, leaving you with an uneasy warm feeling. His narrow yet alluring dark brown eyes perfectly contrasted with his goofy smile that he flashed to one of his friends. His nose was wide and its bridge wasn’t very prominent, but you found it extremely endearing. You had stopped yourself from further observing him, since you found yourself associating the word “endearing” with a random boy’s nose.

Yet, his lovely tufts of black hair that fell over his forehead just perfectly left your heart beating rapidly.

Before you knew it, the game of dodgeball had begun. You were always quite the athlete, even when you were little, you were always challenging boys who thought they were the best. That athleticism had stuck with you for a very long time.

You found yourself picking up a plush orange ball, and you locked eyes with the stupid, handsome boy and threw it as hard as you could. You didn’t know where this competitive mood had stemmed from, but all you knew was that you wanted to get that boy out.

He had underestimated you and your strength, seeing as he reached out to it with one hand, expecting to catch it and get you out. However, the ball hit him in the arm, and despite the ball’s softness, the impact kind of hurt. The referee (a young man with a very sad look on his face) had monotonously motioned for the boy you had hit to get out. So, the handsome guy gave you a mischievous yet playful glare and trudged off the trampolines and off to the side.

After getting him out many more times, the playfulness in his eyes was replaced with a fiery determination to beat you. Soon, everybody else except you two were out, and the stranger kept giving you a very dirty look. You were sure he was taking this way too seriously, since you were barely breaking a sweat from the amount of physical activity you had endured.

There was one ball left, and it was in his hands. You had nonchalantly jumped in place on one of the trampolines, letting him get in his own head. Jinah and her entourage were cheering for you, but you knew you were going to win with or without them. This handsome boy’s main flaw was that he was far too emotional--you didn’t know his name but you could already tell that.

So, when he threw the ball at you at a seemingly unstoppable pace, you had caught it (you’ll admit it, with some effort) and smiled deviously. Everybody from Jinah’s party started to cheer, and you even found yourself basking in your own victory. The poor boy looked mortified.

After the excitement died down, you stood at a vending machine waiting for the water you just bought to come down. However, it stayed lodged between the glass and the shelf.

“God dammit!” You cursed, helplessly shaking the machine in hopes of getting your water. Sadly, it was to no avail, the water bottle was stubborn and didn’t move an inch.

You were just about to walk away until you locked eyes with the guy you had publicly humiliated. You blinked twice to make sure you weren’t imagining him walking your way.

You didn’t exactly know what to do. To be honest, you didn’t plan on ever interacting with the handsome stranger ever again. However, he intended on interacting with you.

After a very long 15 seconds, he was finally right in front of you.

“You’re really good at dodgeball,” He murmured nervously, “I didn’t expect it.”

“Thanks.”

(You weren’t really the best conversationalist.)

He looked a little discouraged at your bland response, but he wasn’t going to give up.

“My name’s Jeon Wonwoo. What’s yours?”

You blushed a bit, wondering why he was interested in knowing your name. How was such a handsome guy like Wonwoo trying to get to know you?

“My name is Y/L/N Y/N.”

“That’s a cool name.”

“Thanks.”

(You internally cursed at yourself, hating the way you were awkward and shitty at talking to people.)

He was just about to walk away awkwardly until you stopped him. You don’t know what weird force had gotten into you, but you didn’t want your encounter with this very handsome boy to end so quickly.

“Hey, could you help me with this?” You questioned, feeling heat rush to your cheeks. Wonwoo turned around and flashed you his pearly whites, and in that fateful moment, you knew that you wanted him in your life. His beautiful smile made you feel things you had never felt before. You didn’t exactly know why this boy was making you feel like your entire body was melting from his warmth. All you knew was that he was very cute, and he had a nice smile.

He walked past you and shook the vending machine once, and then plop. The water bottle fell and you gave Wonwoo a very shy grin.

“Thank you...Wonwoo.”

“No problem, Y/N.”

After a very anticipant silence, Wonwoo spoke up.

“Can I um...get your number?”

Oh thank God, you thought, I thought I was going to be the one to ask.

“Yeah, of course.” You responded a little too quickly.

Was that too eager? Was Wonwoo already turned off? Did he now want nothing to do with you?

That was kind of your specialty--making people want to have absolutely nothing to do with you.

Yet, Wonwoo didn’t budge. In fact, he found your eagerness quite relieving. He had thought the attraction was one-sided.

(It wasn’t.)

You were freaking out, to say the least. It was the end of January, and you thought you were going to die of excitement and nervousness.

You and Wonwoo had been texting non-stop for the past few weeks, and he finally mustered up the courage to ask you on a date. He asked you to go see a horror movie with him, to which you happily obliged. You loved horror movies.

You didn’t exactly know what to wear, so you stuck with a maroon sweater and a regular pair of blue denim jeans. You put on a nice pair of converse, not wanting to try too hard. Your hair was stylishly let down as well.

Once you heard the honking of a car from outside your house, you bid your parents farewell and eagerly ran out the door. You had learned Wonwoo was only a year older than you. He was in his first year of university and he absolutely adored it--he majored in film. His dream was to be an amazing filmmaker, which you had found extremely endearing.

Once Wonwoo had laid his eyes on you, his mouth had fallen slightly agape. He thought your simple outfit complimented your entire demeanor perfectly. You looked angelic amid the cold winter night. Your cheeks and the tip of your nose were red, which made Wonwoo’s insides feel odd. There was no other way to put it, he didn’t feel normal--he felt weird and unusual. But, it wasn’t a bad kind of weird.

After the movie ended, Wonwoo had learned that you--like him--could handle horror movies quite well. He had found you incredibly cool, and he thought your charisma multiplied exponentially each time he learned something new about you.

Finally, you had arrived back to Wonwoo’s car after running to it in the freezing cold. The city lights of Seoul were seen in the distance, but you had wished you could’ve seen the stars instead.

“I love stars.” You blurted while curled up in a ball in the passenger seat of his car. He chuckled at your adorable nature and put his jacket on you like a blanket. You ignored the quickening pace of your heart and the heat rising to your cheeks despite the ungodly cold weather.

“Why?” Wonwoo probed, eyeing you shyly. This was new, exciting, yet comforting. You were loving every second of whatever this was. Dating? Friendship? Whatever it was, you didn’t want it to stop. Ever.

“Well, I mean, they’re pretty far away, right?”

“Right.”

(Wonwoo tried to stifle a smile that broke out since you were so goddamn adorable, but he failed miserably.)

“Yet, we’re still seeing their light. Even if they’re many light-years away, their light still got to us. Hell, the star could’ve even burned out by now--but we still got to see them.”

You had looked at Wonwoo shyly, expecting him to laugh at you and your stupid interests.

Instead, however, you were pleasantly surprised.

“That is quite a nice way to look at it. It makes me...feel at ease. Like I know I’ll always have the stars to depend on.”

Wonwoo’s words had made you want to kiss him right then and there. However, your words were quicker than your actions (or lips).

“Yes! Thank you, god! Everybody always calls me stupid for thinking like that...Or annoying. Or both!” You joyously shouted, making Wonwoo’s smile widen even more.

“You’re cute.” Wonwoo blurted, which made you freeze up. Despite the heat you were receiving from Wonwoo’s jacket and your own clothing, you felt oddly chilly.

Yet, it was a good kind of chilly. You liked it a lot.

“So are you.” You had retorted, wondering where the bravery to flirt came from.

Suddenly, you had felt infinitely grateful to Jinah and to the fact that you attended her stupid birthday party. You also felt grateful to your athleticism, your competitive nature, and of course, to Jeon Wonwoo.

The beautiful winds of spring had kissed your skin just right. You walked through the fair, hand-in-hand with Wonwoo. To say that you were at ease would be an understatement--you felt so much more than that. Despite having just gotten off an extremely scary ride, you were content and tranquility flowed throughout your veins.

Wonwoo, however, was still shaken up from that rollercoaster. You led the both of you to a table by the concessions and made Wonwoo sit down.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, worry prominent in your voice. Wonwoo then felt his heart ache dramatically, and he had come to the realization that he hated seeing you hurt. He could hear the pain laced into your voice, and he knew that he was the cause of it. It felt absolutely awful.

You then sat down next to Wonwoo and took his hands in yours. “You can tell me anything, you know…”

With those words, Wonwoo had found himself surprisingly opening up to you. You two had been dating for about three months now, yet Wonwoo could be very stoic at times. You had wanted to learn more about your boyfriend, but he had trouble trusting people.

However, you were different. Ever since the night of your first date, he knew he could trust you. He was just scared of opening up and then losing you. The last thing in the world he wanted was to lose you.

So, you had learned about Wonwoo’s fear of rollercoasters, which stemmed from the problems he had with his parents.

His parents didn’t support him or any of his artistic endeavors. They had wanted him to be a doctor, since he had a mighty sharp brain that could do something more “productive” than making films. However, Wonwoo rebelled, saying that being a doctor just wasn’t his dream. His parents were never supportive.

He recalled one time in his early childhood where he went on a rollercoaster, but his parents had refused to go with him. And, in that moment, 8-year-old Wonwoo had felt terribly alone. That feeling of loneliness stuck with him until the day he moved out of his childhood home.

“I know it seems trivial,” Wonwoo began after explaining himself, “but it’s me. It’s why I hold you so close, it’s because you listen. You support me, and I’ve never really had that before.”

Your eyes bored into Wonwoo’s dark irises with intensity. Before the rational and cowardly side of you could deny, you had pressed your lips against his with fervor and love.

Love.

You had loved Wonwoo, to the point where he was always in the back of your mind. Little things like the smell of mint or horror movies would make you think of him. Whenever he was the center of your attention, your insides pooled with warmth. He made you feel human, like you could finally breathe again.

You had hated the world, it was horrible and cruel. People were worse. However, whenever you were with Wonwoo, you forgot about the terrors of the world and your hatred towards people.

You finally pulled away and gave him a playful stare.

“Sorry.” You giggled.

“It’s okay.” Wonwoo gave you a lazy smirk.

You gave him one last peck on the lips, and then backed up on the bench you were both sitting on. The sky was blue and cloudless. There were many people all walking in different directions around the two of you. Children’s laughter could be heard among the bustle of life, yet all you could focus on was the man in front of you. You wanted to bask in the moment and observe every little detail of the atmosphere, including Wonwoo’s black skinny jeans and simple white t-shirt along with your red blouse and black leggings. It was your first kiss with Wonwoo (or with anyone for that matter) and you didn’t want to forget it,

“I hate everything--well, I used to.” You blurted.

Wonwoo then gave you a puzzled look.

“Why?”

You sighed while you shifted nervously in your seat, and then you finally decided to open up to him--he had just done the same to you. It felt right.

“When I was five, I was put into foster care. My mother could no longer take care of me, despite not having any financial troubles. To sum it up, I was a burden. And, it hurt--a lot.

“Yet, after three years of being in foster care, my new parents had found me. They took me in and, for a short period of time, I felt like I was theirs. I didn’t feel like an abandoned piece of trash.

“Sadly, I had to start my new school. The kids there were absolutely horrible to me, they would steal from me and call me names. I was nine. But, I grew up and I learned how to stand up for myself. It led me to be friends with Jinah, and then I met you.”

Wonwoo stared at you with his big, innocent eyes. His respect for you had just been multiplied by a thousand. He kissed you again (mainly because he wanted to initiate at least one kiss), and then he hugged you tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.

(You didn’t want him to.)

“What do you want to do with your life, Y/N?” Wonwoo asked you while the two of you stared at the stars on a summer evening. The sudden question had startled you.

“Well, damn, I don’t know.”

Wonwoo scoffed and turned on his side so he could look at you. You glanced at him very briefly, staying on your back. You were enjoying that particular date, since Wonwoo had taken you to the countryside so you two could look at the stars without them being overshadowed by the city lights. You had told your parents you were going on a drive with Jinah, but they saw right through your lie.

However, they didn’t call you out on it. They saw the way your lips slightly curled upwards when you thought of what you were about to do. They knew you loved him.

You let yourself bask in the silence and contemplated Wonwoo’s million-dollar-question. You hadn’t really figured that out yet. You were an exemplary student, and all of the colleges you had applied to accepted you. However, you didn’t exactly know what you wanted your career to be.

“Well?” Wonwoo cooed, giving you a small smile.

“Um…”

You were silent for a bit--until it hit you.

“Oh! I know!”

Wonwoo glared at you.

“How about you tell me?” He sarcastically exaggerated. He couldn’t contain his smile, though. You were just too damn cute.

“I want to be a writer.”

Wonwoo grinned widely.

“We have similar interests, don’t we?”

You shrugged. You tore your gaze from the sky to look at Wonwoo again.

“I just have a lot of ideas. I think I could write them down, and then make them into a story. I don’t really know, to be honest. I’m just kind of winging it.”

Wonwoo laughed at that. You playfully glared at him and stuck out your tongue. After Wonwoo’s eyes averted from your gaze and went back to look at the stars, you felt the feeling of happiness melt into your blood.

You knew you would remember that moment for the rest of your life. And, when you would get sad, you would force yourself to think about it. You would force yourself to think about Wonwoo’s beautiful smile, and his smooth black hair, along with his lanky limbs yet well-built body.

“Thank you, Wonwoo.” You murmured shyly.

“For what?”

“For playing dodgeball that one stupid night.”

It was an odd feeling--knowing that the foundation of your relationship was some stupid game of dodgeball. It was also odd to think about how long ago that night in January felt, when it really was only seven months ago.

Wonwoo smirked and then scooted over to you, and planted a wet kiss right on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, wanting him to know that he made you happy--that he made you smile.

Wonwoo had driven you two back to the motel you were staying at for the night. And then the kisses you two shared turned into something more serious, more fervent. Before you knew it, your clothes were off, and then Wonwoo was inside of you, and then you were no longer a virgin.

Once you two were finished, he cleaned you up and then snuggled up next to you, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“I love you.” You confessed with a quiet voice.

“Finally.” Wonwoo laughed.

“What?”

“Finally. It was about time one of us said it. I love you too, Y/N.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

You fell asleep in each other’s arms that night, knowing nothing but your love for one another.

You had started Seoul University. It was a huge change, to say the least. Your classes were stressful, pain-inducing, and time-consuming. However, you were skating by in terms of grades--your GPA was very high and your grades were amazing.

One day, your creative writing professor had called you to meet him right after class. Your mind automatically went to the worst possible reasons as to why he wanted to meet with you. Were you in trouble? Did you do bad on an essay? Oh god, was he going to seduce you?

“Hi, Professor.” You nervously greeted while avoiding his gaze.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. It’s quite the contrary, actually.” He must have sensed your apprehension. Were you really that easy to read?

You finally made eye contact with him. You cocked your head to the side, as if your curiosity was a sign for him to continue.

“Your latest story was absolutely amazing, so I submitted it to some publishers in New York I’m friends with, and they absolutely loved it.”

Oh god.

“And you said you speak English, right?”

You nodded slowly. You swore your heart was in your throat.

“Well, they want you to go to New York for a year and work under them. They see potential in your work, Y/N. As a matter of fact, a lot of people do. I recommend that you do it, it’s a huge publishing company and they could really get your name well known. Plus, it’s kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”

You didn’t know how to react. Were you supposed to be happy? Excited? Why was your first thought about Wonwoo?

“I’ll think about it.” You sighed, trying to fight the sudden solemn mood you were put in. This was supposed to be great news, but why did it feel like you were losing?

You contemplated not telling Wonwoo at all, since you were almost certain that you were going to turn the offer down. But, Wonwoo could read you like a book, so when he came to pick you up after your literature class, he knew something was wrong. You weren’t your usual talkative and passionate self, you seemed hollow.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Wonwoo questioned with concern laced in his voice. You had sucked in an uneasy and sharp breath, wondering if it was even worth telling him.

“I got an offer.”

“Elaborate.” “Okay, so, I got an offer to work under these really famous publishers. They read a short story of mine and they want to see more of me.”

Wonwoo furrowed his eyebrows intently and cocked his head to the side.

“And this is bad because?”

“Because I’d have to go to New York City for a year.”

Silence.

Wonwoo’s lips pressed into a firm line after your soul-crushing words. Wonwoo knew you were talented and extremely intelligent.

“I don’t think I’m gonna take it, though.”

Wonwoo gave you a look that somewhat resembled anger. He was mightily conflicted.

“Do it.” He surprised himself when he said that.

Wonwoo’s words had hit you like a punch in the gut. Why was he encouraging you? Did he want you out of his life?

“But I--”

“Do it, Y/N. Don’t stay for me, please. This isn’t what you want--you don’t want to turn down amazing opportunities for me. You don’t want a simple life, do you?”

He waited for you to answer. He then gave you a very stern look, and you were coaxed into answering.

“No, I don’t.”

You didn’t, that was true. You couldn’t possibly imagine settling down for a mundane and safe life. You wanted excitement, you didn’t want to work in a job and have to climb the corporate ladder. No, you wanted to follow your dreams.

“Exactly. I love you, Y/N. And, since I love you, I’m not going to stop you. This is your dream.”

You knew he was right. You knew that this was your dream, and you shouldn’t be putting it on hold for a man. Despite your earth-shattering love for Wonwoo, you couldn’t let that get in the way of your dreams.

“I’ll be gone for a year--at least. That means…”

You couldn’t even bear to finish the sentence. You felt a lump in your throat start to form, and then the tears started to fall effortlessly. You were a sobbing mess, but Wonwoo held you and calmed you down, repeatedly saying “I love you” and “it’s okay”.

Wonwoo’s words had always been able to calm you down, but in that moment, his words only made your heartache worsen.

You broke up with Wonwoo the night before you left. The both of you knew it was coming, the inevitability of the entire situation was unstoppable.

You had showed up in front of Wonwoo’s house at around 11 PM, waiting for him to come down right after you called him. The look in his eyes said that he knew, and that it was okay.

“Hi.” You managed to muster. Your voice had already cracked from the oncoming onslaught of tears.

“Hey.” Wonwoo’s eyes were warm, and he gave you a sad smile. He took a step closer to you and kissed you on the lips softly, as if it was his way of saying goodbye.

“I love you, um, a lot.”

“I know.”

“You know if you tell me not to go, I won’t. I’ll stay here with you.”

You knew you had wanted to go, but Wonwoo had this insurmountable power over you. His opinion mattered so goddamn much, and if he wanted you to do (or not do) something, he just had to say the word.

“I’m not a selfish person, Y/N. You know that.”

You were already breaking down. Wonwoo’s bottom lip was quivering, and you could tell he was trying to keep it all together for you.

“You can cry, you know.” You forlornly chuckled. He returned the sad laughter, and soon he started to sob just like you.

You took a step closer to him and tried to take in everything about that night. The smattering of stars in the sky, the way Wonwoo’s porch light was flickering, and the way your heart was breaking.

“I love you.” Wonwoo whispered, his voice breaking. You let yourself soak in those three words for a bit.

Long distance could never work. The difference between timezones, the loneliness, just everything about it was so off-putting. So, that was off the table.

And, despite your love being so strong and real, it couldn’t change the way reality worked. And, the reality of everything was that this was most likely the end. You were both young and in love, but there was no realism in the idea of staying together forever.

You then looked at Wonwoo’s chocolate orbs and took in a deep breath.

“Let’s break up.”

All Wonwoo could do was nod and give you the world’s saddest smile. You finally maneuvered your way out of his touch and gave him one last wave goodbye, almost as to say “I’ll never forget you”.

How could you ever forget Jeon Wonwoo?

You were absolutely exhausted. You were about to drown in fatigue until your friend, Cynthia, came and shook you awake.

“It’s time to go home. Need a ride?” She offered, but you shook your head tiredly.

“No thanks, my boyfriend is gonna pick me up. Thanks, though.”

Finally, your boyfriend Joshua arrived in his lovely car. You trudged to the vehicle and you forced yourself to keep your eyes open. You finally opened the car door and gave him a lazy kiss before shutting it.

“Tired?” Joshua asked, amusement prominent in his tone.

“Joshua Hong, I really hope you’re not entertaining yourself with my pain right now.” You half-jokingly hissed, which just led to Joshua chuckling quietly.

“Where to?”

“Your apartment. No sex, though--too tired.”

“Understood.”

You laid in Joshua’s bed and scrolled through your phone mindlessly. You heard the shower running, but you were just too tired to join him.

Suddenly, while scrolling through Instagram, you had gotten a follow request. Ever since you permanently moved to New York, you had gotten a new Instagram account, wanting to snip the roots of your old life.

You had went to New York for a year, went back to Seoul and graduated, and then you moved back after you fell in love with the city. It had been two years since your graduation, and it was safe to say things were looking up for you career wise. At the promising age of 24, it felt like there was nothing you couldn’t do.

But then your jolly mood had dropped completely once you saw Jeon Wonwoo’s name flash on your screen. He had found your Instagram.

Despite only seeing his name, you found your heart beating slightly more rapid than its usual pace.

Out of instinct, you stalked his account (which was public) before you accepted his request. You noticed how there was a huge absence of any females in his post, just Wonwoo and his friends from back home. He had no bio, and his profile picture was a picture of the night sky with lots of stars.

It was a different account than the one he had when you two were younger. However, it still screamed Wonwoo. Although you were only seeing what he wanted the world to see, you felt as if he didn’t change at all.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you accepted his follow request. What was the worst that could happen?

You had moved on. Wonwoo was your first love, but the blazing days of your youth were over. Now, you were an adult. You were more mature and you had a steady yet exciting job. Your boyfriend of two years loved you dearly.

You felt safe. You felt secure.

So, letting Wonwoo follow your Instagram account wouldn’t do any harm whatsoever. None at all.

You woke up to an incessant ringing. You groaned out of reaction, blindly reaching for your phone.

“God, why is your alarm on? It’s Saturday.” Joshua grumbled with his raspy morning voice.

“I turned my alarm off. Someone’s calling me.”

You then look at the caller ID, which read “Dad”. Why was he calling you at such an odd time?

You pressed the green “answer” button and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Y/N, you need to come back home. Your mother is sick.”

It was 4 in the morning, and you were desperately hailing a taxi. You finally succeeded, and you told the driver your home address after he finished boarding your luggage. Despite Korean being your first language, it felt foreign on your tongue.

Once you arrived home, you paid the man and brought your luggage inside with the help of your father. The reunion was bleak and filled with sorrow. Your father’s hopeless demeanor said it all.

Breaking up with Joshua had given you major deja vu. You were the one leaving, yet again. But, Joshua was an incredible and understanding man, so there were no hard feelings. It hurt beyond belief to leave him and New York, but you weren’t going to stay there and leave your parents all by themselves. You may have been selfish at times, but when people truly needed you, you were there for them.

Once the two of you finished unpacking your luggage, your father drove you to the hospital. It had been a week since your father had called you, but unpacking everything and breaking up with your boyfriend weren’t exactly speedy processes.

The car ride was deadly silent, as if saying anything would make things worse.

Apparently, your mother had been having horrible migraines, to the point where she could barely see. So, your father took her to the doctor’s one day, and they found it she had a brain tumor.

It was operable, but the surgery was extremely risky, with a ten percent success rate. The reality of the situation didn’t really sink in until you saw your mother’s frail body laying down on a hospital bed. Your eyes immediately were filled to the brim with tears at the sight of her.

“Hi Mom.” You croaked, trying not to let her see you cry.

“Y/N...I missed you.”

You stifled an oncoming sob.

“I missed you too.” You wallowed in the silence. Oh god, it all felt so real--too real. Soon, the regrets started to flood into you, attacking you like a tidal wave.

You would call your mother once a week, and they would last from ten to fifteen minutes. She would want to talk more, but you were just so damn busy.

You watched your mother intently. Her eyes were closed and her chest was barely rising with each breath. You contained yourself from downright sobbing.

Suddenly, you heard the door creak open. You turned your head and expected to finally meet one of the doctors, but you were greeted with someone you had never expected to see in person ever again.

Jeon Wonwoo.

“Wonwoo…” Your mother mumbled after opening her eyes, giving him a weak smile. Your mouth fell agape at the sight of him. He had...grown up. His hair was still the same black color, but it was now curly and more voluminous. He had become much more muscular and built--he wasn’t the same lanky and scrawny boy you had remembered. His eyes were no longer doe-like, they seemed sage and mature.

He was expecting to see you, but you still managed to catch him off guard. He gave you a weak smile and handed you a coffee, which you took with hesitation.

“Hi, Wonwoo.”

He smiled. Oh god, that damn smile. Suddenly, you were seventeen again, and the center of your universe was Jeon Wonwoo.

It had barely been two minutes of reuniting with him, yet you already felt like you were about to implode from warmth. Did meeting exes always feel this way? Like the feelings were still somewhere in the air, lingering?

“Hi, Y/N.”

His voice sounded the same. It was still deep, smooth, and song-like. You realized you didn’t need the coffee anymore, you were already wide-awake.

You had learned that Wonwoo had been taking care of your mother alongside your father while you were gone. That added to the insurmountable guilt you felt.

You had also learned that Wonwoo was working on a film, to which you were pleasantly surprised.

The two of you sat on your front lawn and chattered over some beer and finger-foods. The moon hung low in the sky, and the late-summer wind felt nice against your skin. You found yourself looking at the stars, just like that one night with Wonwoo.

“So, Y/N, how have you been?”

Wonwoo had tried to act as nonchalant as possible. He didn’t want you to know that he was still madly in love with you.

“Um, good, I guess. My job was going really well...I managed to transfer to one of their offices in Korea, so that’s a relief.”

Wonwoo nodded, listening intently.

“I um, had a boyfriend.” You saw his content eyes waver a bit.

Ouch.

Wonwoo tried to hide his hurt with a surprised, fabricated grin.

“Obviously, it didn’t work out. He was Korean, but he didn’t want to come back to Korea with me. So, um...we ended it.”

Wonwoo had downed another beer by then. You gave him an empty chuckle and followed in suit.

After a few more drinks, everything else was a blur. Suddenly, you and Wonwoo were kissing, taking each other’s clothes off, and then sleeping side-by-side, holding each other like nothing had changed.

You awoke with a killer headache. You had reached to your nightstand to grab some Advil, but you were bound to Wonwoo. His long and muscular arms were snaked around your waist, and he was holding onto you for dear life.

And then the memories of last night came flooding into your mind, each memory more painful than the last.

Yet, being in Wonwoo’s arms just felt so natural, like you were supposed to be there. With him.

Maybe you were supposed to be with him all along.

“Wonwoo, get up.” You croaked, and you heard him mumble a noise of disapproval.

“Let’s stay like this for a bit more, please.”

You sighed.

“Okay.”

The next day, you avoided Wonwoo like the plague. He texted you multiple times, along with a few missed calls. You were too preoccupied with taking care of your mother anyway.

You had caught up with your mother, and she learned much more about Joshua than you would let her know over the phone. You noticed the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes when you talked about him.

Yet, when Wonwoo walked into the room, the spark in her eyes was back.

“Hey Mrs. Y/L/N, I brought you some bread from the bakery you like.” Wonwoo smiled, holding up a brown paper bag. Once he came over to the both of you and handed your mother the bag, he motioned for you to meet him outside of the room.

You didn’t want to talk to him about what had happened, that was an undeniable fact. You didn’t want to come to terms with your underlying feelings, because you were so scared. You were scared of opening up to Wonwoo again, you were scared because Wonwoo made you feel like you were young and reckless again.

He had this placid power over you, and it never truly died down over the years of being without him. You may have suppressed it to the back of your mind, but the moment your life got entangled with Wonwoo’s again, you were vulnerable.

Being with Wonwoo again after all of those years made you feel like Joshua never existed. Like you never moved to New York, like you two had never broken up. Why was your love for him so unmatched? Why couldn’t you move on?

You could forget about Wonwoo for a bit, but the moment you would go face-to-face with the man, everything came back. So, no, you didn’t want to meet Wonwoo outside of the room.

Yet, you still did. And you let him take your hand in his and walk you outside, to the courtyard. You let him look at you like he still loved you, and you let yourself return his love-filled gaze.

He sat you down on a bench. The sky was gray and cloudy that day, and the weatherman said it was going to rain. The sun was hidden behind the fluffy clouds, but you still felt warm when Wonwoo held your hand in his.

Despite the fact that there were many people walking around the yard, when Wonwoo’s eyes met yours, you felt as if the two of you were alone. As if it were you and him against the world.

“Hi.” Wonwoo stalled.

“Hi.”

“Should I just get straight to the point?”

You nodded.

“I...um...I never forgot about you. I never truly moved on. I dated girls here and there, but it just wasn’t the same.”

You gulped, feeling a solemn pressure in your chest.

“And, um...I still love you. A lot. And seeing your instagram feed being filled with you and that guy Joshua, it hurt. And I regret drinking with you and sleeping with you, not because it was you, but because I didn’t want to restart things this way.”

You tried to look at anything else besides Wonwoo’s intense gaze. You tried to look at an old lady getting wheeled around, you tried to look at a group of kids playing tag, but you just couldn’t.

Your eyes met Wonwoo’s. You realized that you never felt that level of intensity with Joshua, and it was quite a cryptic epiphany.

All of those years you had spent in New York, you were just pretending to be over Wonwoo. You never were.

Yet, you felt selfish. How dare you endeavor in romance while your mother was dying?

“I can’t.” You sighed, finally tearing your eyes away from Wonwoo. He sucked in a sharp breath, as if he were just cut by a knife. You had debated not explaining to him, but you thought Wonwoo had deserved that much.

“I just can’t do this right now. Not with my sick mom, Wonwoo. I can’t let anything distract me from her right now, I’m sorry.”

Wonwoo shook his head and clenched his jaw.

“This is your problem, Y/N. You always think you’re the problem. Do you wanna know what your mother told me before you came back?”

Silence followed his question. Yes, you wanted to know--of course you did.

“She said that she wanted me to man up and ask you out again. She wants me to marry you, Y/N. Why else would she let me stay by her side all this time? Because she didn’t want me to be in her life?”

Your mom was sneaky, you had to admit. She had always loved Wonwoo.

She loved him because he made you happy.

“Okay.” You whispered. Wonwoo quirked an eyebrow.

“What?”

“I said ‘okay’. Let’s try this thing again.”

Your mother’s funeral was a blur. All you could remember was the bleak colors and Wonwoo’s tight grip on your hand. All you could feel was agonizing, soul-crushing pain. Pain ate at you like a vulture eatings its dead prey, you were a breeding ground for it. After all of the arrangements were done, you had sat in bed for a week, only getting up to go to the bathroom. Wonwoo had brought you food to eat three times a day, but you would barely touch it. All you could think about was the fact that your mother was dead.

She had died about two months after you got home. Your family had decided against the surgery, since it could’ve killed her even sooner. So, she lived out her last two months diligently. She didn’t spend them in a hospital bed, she spent them with her family.

The night she died was also a blur. You had rushed her to the hospital after you came home from work one day and found her collapsed on the ground. There wasn’t much the doctors could do, or at least that was what they said.

And, in that moment, you felt completely and utterly powerless.

Your father was avoiding his emotions, unlike you. You were battling them head on, and you were losing miserably.

Your father would go out to drink at least three to four times a week, and he would come home absolutely shit-faced.

Wonwoo had stayed strong, despite the pain that encapsulated his heart. He would cry silently, when no one else could see. He needed to be strong for you and your father, since the both of you had nobody else.

You returned to work a month after she died, greeting your coworkers emptily. You sat down and reviewed stories that were in the process of getting published, no longer feeling that spark of passion you had once felt while working. Everything was bleak, including you.

Three months after the death of your mother, Wonwoo was lying in bed beside you one night, listening to your steady breathing. “Y/N,” He began, “are you awake?”

“Yes.” You croaked.

“Can I tell you something that might make you mad?”

You didn’t have the energy to object.

“You need to get back to the world of the living now, Y/N.”

At this, you turned around to face him.

“What?”

“You need to come back to life. You’ve been a zombie these past few months, but it’s not what your mother would’ve wanted.”

You felt yourself grow cold at Wonwoo’s truthful words. The pain you were experiencing had emotionally crippled you, and you had given up on about everything. Time had meshed into one big blur, and your memory was hazy; you could barely remember what you had for dinner last night. You started to cry into the crook of Wonwoo’s neck while he hugged you tightly.

“It’s s-so r-real Wonwoo. It’s t-too real.” You cried as he rubbed your back with his warm hands. The ache in your heart had left you breathless. You just missed your mother so much, the longing to see her absolutely consumed you.

“I know...You just need to start living again, Y/N. For her.”

You looked up into Wonwoo’s passionate eyes. You nodded weakly and pursed your lips together in an attempt to halt your sobs.

You thought of your mother who had seen potential in you when nobody else did. When she brought you home with her, she had provided you with your first true family. She wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you wallow in your own self-pity like this.

After a few moments of silence, you bid Wonwoo good night and fell asleep in his arms. You had a hazy dream, all you could muster from it was that it was about your mother.

Slowly, you had started to rebuild your life, along with your father. Every day was painful and a struggle, but you knew your mother would have wanted you to move on. You could do this, you knew you could.

It had been a year since your mother’s passing. Despite the vacancy she left in your life, you no longer felt hollow. And, whenever you thought of a nice memory you had of her, you would smile instead of breaking down. You were getting there.

You couldn’t see anything, the only thing guiding you was Wonwoo’s hand and his voice. “To the right!” He ordered, but you had purposefully went to the left just to spite him. Despite being slightly ticked off at your stubborn nature, he laughed softly.

“Ew, why are your hands so sweaty?” You chuckled, making Wonwoo’s blood run cold.

He was nervous, that’s why! But, he didn’t want to ruin the surprise.

“I dunno.” He coolly responded. You shrugged it off and then started to focus on the task at hand. Where was this stupid man leading you to? And why were you blindfolded?

You suddenly felt fresh air kiss your skin. “Are we outside?”

“Shut up and let me do this?”

“Do what?”

Wonwoo didn’t respond.

You were sure of the fact that you were outside since you felt wisps of grass caress your ankles. It was a lovely July evening, over two years since the death of your mother.

The two of you had come to a sudden halt. You were both staying at a hotel for a weekend, since Wonwoo had suggested you two go on a “getaway”. You happily obliged, not suspecting much from it.

You felt Wonwoo untie the bandana around your eyes. Suddenly, a whole new world had opened up in front of you. There was an abundance of stars in the night sky, and there was a trail of rose petals leading up to the stairs of a gazebo. Wonwoo held your hand and led you down the path as shock filled you up and rattled your bones.

Before you could react to what was about to happen, Wonwoo went down on one knee and pulled out a lovely and very expensive-looking ring.

“Hi.” He laughed with an airy sound.

“H-hi.” You responded, already feeling the urge to cry.

“So, um, you probably have already figured out what I’m about to do. So, let me just say one thing: thank you. Thank you for coming into my life twice, thank you for always being a reason for me to smile. Thank you for teaching me about life and stars. Thank you for being my light.

“I was lonely, once. I had nobody to fall back on. But, on that night when you told me your thoughts on stars, my entire life changed. And, then I realized something--you’re the light a star gives off. You make things brighter, no matter where you go. Your light has reached me, Y/N.

“I think I knew I was in love with you ever since our first date. You had me absolutely smitten. And I-I just fell. Hard. When I lost you the first time, I was heartbroken. Yet, it’s almost like we’re destined to be together, since we found our way back to each other.

“So, I ask you this because I went to spend the rest of my life with you. Y/L/N Y/N, will you marry me?”

At this point you were sobbing uncontrollably. You managed to muster a weak “yes”, but your nodding head was what got the memo across. Wonwoo smiled brightly, his eyes twinkling more than the stars up in the sky.

You held your hand out and he slid the ring on your finger, your heart racing when he touched you, just like the first time.

“I-I love y-you.” You managed to muster, still crying tears of absolute blissful joy.

“I love you too.”

Despite not having financial troubles, the two of you settled for a small and inexpensive wedding. You barely remember anything before the wedding that day because you were so damn nervous. However, you remembered the ceremony just fine.

Your dress was an elegant, typical white wedding dress. Your veil flowed in a lovely manner, and your dress hugged your body just right.

You were 28 years old at the time, and it was an odd feeling to look back on your life before you met Wonwoo. You never wanted to get married, you simply had no interest in romance. Yet, teenage Wonwoo had swept you off your feet that one January evening, and the rest was very complicated history.

The wedding music began to play, and you were just outside the entrance that led to where the love of your life stood. The only thing that was in your way was the walk to him, which was much scarier than people played it out to be. You took in a shaky deep breath and showed your face.

Every head in the hall turned towards you. Your father walked you down with joyful tears in his eyes. It would’ve been amazing if your mother could have made it, but you knew she was watching down on you.

You knew she was proud of you.

After the long walk, you walked up the velvet-covered steps to where Jeon Wonwoo stood. He looked dashing in his standard black-and-white tuxedo. He thought you looked absolutely gorgeous, and he had to contain himself from crying.

Soon, the priest had started his speech. You tuned most of it out and just lovingly stared into Wonwoo’s eyes.

You mouthed I love you and he mouthed love you too. And soon, Wonwoo’s lips were on yours the moment after the priest had said he could kiss you, and you were filled with nothing but pure happiness.

A year had passed just like that. Both of you were very successful in your careers, but you still made time for one another.

That changed after your first wedding anniversary. Wonwoo had become busier and busier, to the point where he was stressed beyond belief. He would go to bed later than you and be out of the bed before you woke up.

“I’m working with a really famous actor,” He would say, “I’m just a bit stressed.”

Suddenly, the mood around the house was solemn and dreadful. You couldn’t remember the last time Wonwoo had told you he loved you, and vice versa.

Wonwoo was coming home late, yet he always had time to update his social media and hang out with his friends. You thought he was just deliberately choosing to not spend his free time with you.

What had happened?

Your initial reaction was self-indulgent. It must have had something to do with you--it was your fault somehow. Yet, when you’d try to get him to go on dates with you just like you used to, he would decline and use the excuse “I’m just so tired”.

You felt used. You were suffering in silence, and no matter how hard you tried to mend your relationship, Wonwoo put in no effort.

One night, you purposely stayed up later so you’d catch Wonwoo before you went to bed. You sat on the couch mindlessly watching TV, waiting for your husband to come home.

When he did, his eyes were bloodshot and his entire demeanor screamed “stress”. You immediately grew timid at the sight of him.

“Hey, Wonwoo.” You greeted when he took his shoes off and hung up his coat. He gave you a weak smile and walked right by you.

You had felt useless; it was almost as if Wonwoo didn’t need you anymore.

What if he had ran out of love for you? The sheer thought made you sick to your stomach. Despite his cold and distant attitude, you were still madly in love with Wonwoo, to the point where it hurt. Your love had felt unrequited all of a sudden, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself, or with him.

“Wonwoo.” You called out, but he kept walking. He must’ve not heard you.

“Wonwoo.” You called out again, this time a bit louder. He stopped dead in his tracks and swiftly turned around. He glared at you with nothing but pure ice in his eyes, and you knew you had fucked up.

“For fuck’s sake, what? Can’t you see I’m a bit stressed here? I would really fucking appreciate it if you weren’t so god damn incessant.”

You pursed your lips together and shut your eyes tightly. You didn’t want him to see you cry (since he was already so stressed), but you just couldn’t hold back the onslaught of tears. His icy words had sliced you open like a sword. You hissed at the unbearable pain you were feeling.

Wonwoo’s expression immediately softened. He ran over to you, but you held a hand as a signal for him to stop when he came near you. You couldn’t live like this anymore.

“I’m done.” You lamented, running past him to go to your room. He followed you like a lost puppy, whimpering empty apologies. You had grabbed a suitcase and went to your dresser, packing everything you owned up in a dramatic and emotional fashion.

“Please, Y/N, don’t leave me. Please…” Wonwoo sobbed, realizing his grave mistakes.

“I’m just gonna go stay at my Dad’s for a bit, okay? So you can figure out whatever the hell you need to, without hurting me.” You hissed. Wonwoo repeatedly shook his head, begging for you to stay. None of this felt real--the absolute pain you were feeling made you crumble. You felt pathetic, like the pain you were experiencing was unprecedented. Like you should give in to Wonwoo and apologize for standing your ground.

Despite the days you’d spent in agony due to this man, there was no denying that you were still madly in love with him. You didn’t want to give up on him, but he left you no choice.

You had to respect yourself.

Once you had finished packing enough clothes that would last you a week, you trudged to the front door, suitcase in hand. Wonwoo followed you pathetically.

You were just about to walk out the door without saying a word, but your heart took over your head for just about a millisecond.

“I’ll call you when I’m ready.”

Then you shut the door behind you, and all Wonwoo could hear was your car driving away and his heart breaking.

A week had passed since you had temporarily moved in with your father. You lay in bed after work that night, staring at the ceiling. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, like they had been the past week.

You turned over to face your nightstand, where a picture of you and Wonwoo at the fair stood in a frame. That was the day of your first kiss.

You remembered that day like it was yesterday, since it was the day you had learned the both of you trusted each other. Things back then were so new and exciting. What had changed?

Were you really going to give up on Wonwoo? Is that what was truly best for you?

No, it wasn’t. Your heart started to beat rapidly, and then you jumped up out of bed and put an old pair of sneakers on. You then ran to your car, hopping in the driver’s seat.

Shit, it was low on gas.

Your dad was out for the night, so he took his car with him. You murmured a string of curses and then called a taxi. You waited impatiently for the car to arrive, your leg bouncing with nerves that made you want to hunch over and vomit.

The taxi finally arrived after what seemed like forever. You ran into the car and frantically told the poor driver the address of your home, the one you shared with Wonwoo. The love of your life.

He finally pulled up to your house, and you gave him a wad of cash that was way too much, and you ordered him to “keep the change”.

You then ran up to the front door, your hands shaking while you tried to input the key to unlock the door. Before you could succeed, Wonwoo opened the door.

His gaze could’ve drilled a hole in your head. You then began to smile, and you jumped into his arms. He immediately hugged you back.

“Let’s make this work, okay?” You sighed, your face snuggled against his chest.

“Yes, of course.”

You finally pulled apart after about two minutes of just holding each other. The two of you had sat down on your couch, which was promptly placed against the wall. You looked Wonwoo in the eye and swallowed a lump in your throat.

“What’s going on? What made you so stressed?”

Wonwoo took in a sharp breath.

“You know that film I was working on?”

You nodded.

“Well, it almost got cut. The company suddenly hated the idea and the script, and I would’ve lost a shit ton of money it if got cut. I had personally invested in that film, and not to mention, I poured my heart and soul into it. The night we fought, um...they said they were officially gonna cut it. I didn’t have the heart to tell you because I thought you’d be disappointed in me. I was being so selfish I didn’t even see the emotional toll I was taking on you.

“But, while you were gone, I managed to convince my company to take up the movie again. And that just left me some time to wallow in my own guilt and self-hatred.”

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath.

“Please, Wonwoo, tell me everything. I deserve to know…”

Wonwoo nodded as his eyes started to fill with tears.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You gave him a weak smile.

“I love you too, Wonwoo.”

The love you both had for each other was brighter than any star in the sky. You had refused to let the star you both shared burn out.

You knew that you and Wonwoo were meant to be in each other’s lives. The challenges life threw at you led you to one another.

You looked up and met Wonwoo’s passionate gaze. Your light had reached him, and his light had reached you--that was that. Yet, when the time comes for your star to burn out, there is no denying the fact that you had cast light on each other’s lives.

There is no denying the love you had both shared.

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dzamie-oc · 4 years

Text

Smaugust 06 - Magma

A human wants to accompany his dragon girlfriends on their magma-diving outings, but they don't think he's ready. Yet.

Lily glanced at the clock. "Oh, Verrea," the blue dragoness said, pointing at the hanging timepiece, "it's past two. We'd best get going if we want to return before sundown."

With mumbles of affirmation, her friend in green scales rose and stretched her wings. "C'mon, L, I usually get my trips in three hours."

"I suspect you wouldn't if I stopped letting you eat my rubies." She looked to their other partner, a human named Ben, and gave a sheepish smile full of sharp teeth. "Sorry, forgot to tell you. We should be back for dinner, though."

Ben looked up from his game of virtual alchemy to give the dragons a thumbs-up. "Sure thing, you two. Where are you girls headed?"

"Volcano," Verrea replied casually, "looking for gems. They grow fastest at the bottom."

The blue dragon rolled her golden eyes and huffed, a wisp of smoke trailing from her nostrils. Ben watched it rise and dissipate, hoping that it wouldn't set off the smoke alarm - fortunately, it didn't. "It's not a volcano!" she admonished, "Mount Ternen is a mountain with a volcanic flow inside it."

"Magma stream."

"Lava," Lily corrected.

"It's magma if you go down far enough," Verrea shot back with a grin and a playful flick of her bladed tail. This earned her a forked tongue being poked out at her, to which she retaliated by tapping her muzzle against Lily's.

"Oh, that sounds cool," Ben remarked ("more like hot," said Verrea), "can I come with?"

The dragonesses both shook their heads. "Sorry, Ben, far too dangerous. More a dragon thing, anyway."

"Eh, alright. Have fun you two." He waved at them, letting his gaze linger as the green dragon teased him with a flick of her tail, then tried to get back to his game. But no matter what, he kept thinking about his friends swimming through molten rock. So he gave in and searched for information on Mount Ternan, looking at maps and photos. Sure enough, the maps he found all had a section labeled something along the lines of "closed to tourists," "staff/experienced cave delvers only," or, frankly enough, "lava past here." He printed out one of the more detailed maps of the area and checked for any tours of the caverns... so that, of course, he could avoid them.

Phase one complete.

---

The next day, he was looking at the map over breakfast when Verrea walked up behind him and laid her chin over his shoulder. "Whatcha got there, Ben?" she asked, her breath smelling of bacon and... well, mostly more bacon.

He reached his arm up to pat her head. "Oh, you girls got me thinking about that mountain. I don't think I've been there, and it's only half an hour drive or so, so I figure I would go and walk around. Look at the stalactites, stalagmites, and stuff."

"Hey, that's cool. It's pretty pretty in there, at least for dragons. Dunno what it's like with human vision, of course." The dragoness grinned, Ben catching the glint of her fangs in the corner of his eye, and continued, "hey, if you want something extra to do there, see if you can figure out which stalagmite I use to get off when I visit?"

"Wh-what?"

"She's messing with you," Lily chimed in from across the table. She sent the last of the sausages on her plate to their demise before carefully picking up the plate in her mouth and carrying it to the sink. "And even if she wasn't, she's hopefully not stupid enough to do it anywhere a tour could see her."

Verrea departed from Ben's shoulder to brush her wing against Lily. "So far as you know. The imminent danger of being found out is part of the fun!" she purred, before winking at them, "but no, I didn't. Dirty rocks where who knows how many other dragons and humans could further mess with it? I treat my body well; give me a nice tongue or dick any day of the week. Well, maybe not today, since you're doing stuff. Though, Lily..."

"I JUST ate," the blue dragoness replied. Ben excused himself from the table to get ready and not let on how much Verrea's casual teasing had affected him. A few minutes later, the scaly pair waved goodbye to him as Lily settled down in front of the television, controller in paw, and Verrea sprawled over the couch.

---

"...and as we come down here, you'll see a really cool formation. Us tour guides, we call it the snowman, on account of, well, it looks like a snowman. There it is. See the body, and the head?..." The tour guide's voice faded out as the last of the group walked out of sight around a column. Ben looked around him. Nobody in sight. Moving quickly, he stepped over the chain rope marking the path, and strode swiftly into the dark tunnel beyond. He kept careful track of how many steps he was taking, marking them down on a makeshift map of the... less than publicly available section of the caverns. A wide flashlight beam kept him from stumbling over rough parts of the floor or falling into parts where the floor simply stopped existing as much.

As he pressed on, further into the dark cave, he realized the temperature was rather quickly climbing. What began as rather cool, somewhat stale air had soon become midsummer temperatures, with no sign of stopping. Before long, he was forced to turn back before he dehydrated from sweating. His map proved quite excellent for his purposes, and he was soon able to see the lit part of the caverns. He shut off his flashlight, and waited until he was sure no other tour groups or wayward tourists were around before scurrying back to safety. As he made his way back to the mouth of the tunnel, two conflicting emotions dominated: he could probably do it with some help, and how could he be so dumb as to forget that magma was over 500 degrees Celsius. Well, either way...

Phase two located.

---

Ben lay amidst a tangle of limbs and scales. Lily was purring hardest, Verrea having elected to simply pass out. "Alright, I'll give you that," the blue dragoness said, "that crystal you got is more than a little overkill, but powers excellent heat resistance potions. Good luck convincing Verrea to lay with you without expressing herself in fire again." She nuzzled the human. "Not that I'll be all that much easier, of course."

The human stroked her neck, pressing his fingers in just the right way to get her to coo and nuzzle in against him. "I'm just glad it worked so well. You'd think she'd try the effect out on my hand or something, first, not my dick. And you're not so innocent there, either, miss 'oh good you can handle my deep internal temperature.'"

Lily flopped her head over and gave him the most innocent stare she could muster. "What? You knew I like my throat played with. Just because she's more open about it doesn't mean I can't be a weird dragon with weird dragon kinks."

"Still. My entire arm? I was half-worried you were going to see if you could deepthroat the rest of me, too." He booped her snout; she poked out her forked tongue.

"Aww, you think I'd be able to do that?"

"Yes."

She nuzzled her snout into his neck and flicked her tongue at the sensitive spots. "Good boy~"

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Lily tapped her paw on him. "By the way, magma is roughly twice as dense as honey, and therefore much, much slower to move in than water, so we have to manage our air well when we dive. Or use magic."

Ben felt his heart rate jump. "Uh... why do you mention that, Lily?"

She gently nipped at his neck, teasing him with sharp fangs that never broke skin. "Call it draconic intuition. And, I'm not sure if you picked up on this, but I do like having you alive rather than paying for the mistakes of a lack of research."

"Well... thanks, then. I'll take those into account."

Lily resumed purring, her legs and Verrea's holding him securely between and under them. "Very good boy."

---

A few days later, Ben was watching some speedruns on their TV screen with a blue, scaly pillow and a green, scaly blanket. He could feel Lily's muscles tense under his head as the race they were spectating entered the last level with barely two seconds difference between first and last place. And while he wasn't looking at their girlfriend, he figured she was more watching the two of them rather than the screen.

"Oh, wow, all of them got first try on that wallclip," he remarked. A quick glance to Verrea confirmed that Lily had started tapping her tail rapidly against the green dragon.

"I think upper-right got the best of that speed rule. Gap's closing," Lily said as the goal drew into sight.

Scant seconds later, the results were in. Ben's head sank into Lily's side as she relaxed and exhaled.

"Hey, speaking of time," Verrea spoke up, "isn't two the time you were shooting for, L?" And just like that, a bit of tension was there again. Ben and Verrea got up to let the blue dragoness out, and the green soon joined her.

"Mount Ternen again?" Ben asked, getting nods in response, "Can I come along this time? I finally got all the stuff needed to join you two."

Lily shook her head. "Sorry, Ben. We'd love to take you along, but still not yet."

Ben quirked an eyebrow at her. "Still? What am I missing?"

"It's... hard to say, really," Verrea chipped in, "it's like a thing about dragon stuff. Physical and mental, and you don't have it. But hey, you're doing better. And if nothing else, you got us some fun toys for the bedroom."

A blue muzzle tapped a green one. "I love you, Verrea, but do you ever think about anything else?"

"Of course I do! You think I'm that one-track-mind?" she scoffed, "there's so many other places I can fuck you two. Kitchen, living room, a few thousand feet up..."

"I... may have to take you up on that last one, if we can figure out a harness..." Ben said, successfully distracted.

"Mm. Keep it in mind, cutie! Back for dinner!" Verrea waved goodbye with her tail as the two dragonesses left.

---

"Hey, Verrea. It's been a couple weeks. Wanna head out?"

"Sure, I'm running low on smoky quartzes."

Ben got up and grabbed the magical tools he'd acquired about three weeks prior, before they'd previously refused him. Lily watched him.

"Ben-"

"I'm coming." he stated. The two dragons looked at each other for a second, then smiled.

"You sure are. Riding or driving?" Lily asked, ignoring a "phrasing" from Verrea.

"Driving." Ben looked at them. "Was that really all?"

Verrea grinned. "Dragon thing needs dragon mind. Welcome aboard, honorary dragon."

#dragon #smaugust #smaugust 2020 #writing #writers on tumblr #text

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captain-mcdavid · 5 years

Text

word count: 3.3k

smut: yes | no

warnings: drinking, swearing, yelling, angst

You panicked as soon as you read the message, and then you calmed down a little when you realized what time it came in. His last message was sent forty five minutes ago. If he left when he said he did, he would have gotten here before you.

You pointlessly look out the window and down at the street, you can make out most of the cars and none of them look like his. And, if he was actually here, he’d need to get buzzed in.

The second that thought crosses your mind your stomach drops. If he left when he said he did, he would have gotten here when Lindsay was here. What if she talked to him? What if she spun some other web of twisted lies and that’s why he left?

You’re taking off out the door before you can stop yourself, she’s still waiting by the elevators, and you’re shouting down the hall like a maniac before she can leave, “Was Josh here?”

“Huh?” She responds, and you roll your eyes, your psycho bitch making an appearance when you find yourself laughing.

“Was Josh here? He texted me to say he was coming over, did he? And don’t even think about lying, I’ve had enough with your mind games.” You’re speaking a mile a minute, and Lindsay looks stunned at all the words coming out of your mouth.

“No,” She spits out. “He wasn’t here.”

You study her face, waiting to see if there’s any indication of her being untruthful but she looks serious, so you turn around and start back to your place.

“Oh and by the way,” You’ve barely even gotten a foot away when her ratchet voice stops you again, “If I’m never gonna see you again then you could use some advice, so listen carefully.”

You turn to look back and you feel like you’re in high school, getting publicly harassed by a mean girl. You should ignore her and leave cause there’s no where you’re walking out of this without crying, or getting arrested, but you can’t seem to be able to move. “I’m not the only person that’s fucked you over. Josh played you just as much as I did, and yeah we might be in the wrong, but so are you. You did nothing to help yourself. You’re naive as hell and that’s why shitty things keep happening to you.” The elevator doors open as if on queue and she steps in, and you pray to god that that’s the last time you’ll ever have to see her.

As much as you know you shouldn’t listen to her sociopathic rambling, you can’t help but replay her words in your head, and they sting. You’d never considered yourself naive before, but you were beginning to realize, as much as you hated to admit it, that Lindsay was kind of right.

When you tried to convince her that Josh felt the same way about you she had said, “I’m just trying to guard your heart since you don’t seem to be.” Those words had no true emotion besides vengeance behind them, but they were still true. You weren’t guarding your heart, you had no defences.

You went into the relationship the second time with an agenda, but as soon as you felt the slightest bit of reciprocation from Josh you went all in with no reservations, the exact same way that you did the first time. You had to admit you were setting yourself up for hurt, you knew what Josh was capable of, you should have gone in with more guard.

You’re so overwhelmed with emotions that it’s exhausting. You’re sad, and angry, and you’re feeling pretty stupid too, but you’re also just as confused. Where is Josh?

He should be here by now...

As mad as you are it’s hard not to be a little worried, what if something happened?

Against your better judgement you send a quick text, a simple question mark that after a half hour receives no reply.

The ice cream you’re eating isn’t doing much to take your mind off of the current situation. You shouldn’t do it, but your actions are purely based off of worry, so you press the little phone button by his contact. It rings through, then goes to voicemail, and you’re left yet again wondering what’s going on.

After more ice cream and countless episodes of friends, it’s four forty five in the morning, and you’ve convinced yourself that if something bad happened to Josh, you would have heard from someone by now, and you fall asleep.

The next days proceedings include work, and then most of yesterday’s activities, eating ice cream and watching reruns of old shows. Its bittersweet to see all of Lindsay’s things gone, the apartment looks empty and for the first time since she left, you actually take a minute to mourn the loss of a friend.

Sitting on the undressed bed in her empty room brings tears to your eyes, and for about a half hour you just sit and cry. Before you knew about her backstabbing ways you considered her your best friend. She was the person you turned to for everything, and now she was gone. Who are you supposed to lean on now?

Your pity party doesn’t stop there either. It’s not a good idea. Really, it’s not even remotely smart but you do it anyway. The ice cream isn’t making a dent in your feelings but maybe vodka will.

Drinking alone is a new low for you, but in your messed up mind what you’re feeling warrants it.

You’ve lost count of the amount of alcohol you’ve had at about six pm. And because drinking alone isn’t bad enough you might as well add day drunk to the mix too right?

You’re drunk dialing someone, but your mind doesn’t catch up to your actions until the phone is lifted to your ear, and when her sweet voice sounds on the other end, you break down in tears almost right away. “Mom,”

“Y/N?” She says, “Y/N, honey are you crying?”

You nod, even though she can’t hear, and she still keeps rambling. “Y/N talk to me, tell me what’s wrong,”

In one big long run on sentence you tell her everything that’s happened in the last two days leaving out the last two months, and she’s silent for about a minute once you finish,

“Oh honey,” She sighs finally, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Mom, I love him.” The words come out fast and you’re just as surprised to hear them as she is. Did you really just say that?

“Aw baby,” She says, and you just wish that she was here in person to hold you. “I think you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel, maybe there’s something you don’t know.”

“Do you think?” You choke, hiccuping in between words. “I thought you’d tell me to move on,”

“Sweetie, I can’t do that. Believe me I’m not this guys biggest fan at the moment but everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves. Maybe it isn’t as bad as it seems.”

You hiccup over the phone, biting your nails while you murmur out, “You think?”

“I hope.” She reiterates, “You never know unless you try.”

You breathe out a little chuckle at the end, biting the inside of your cheek before you whisper out, “Yeah I guess.”

“I wish I could give you a hug,” She says, and you smile at the thought. “Do you want me to come over?”

Yes is your first thought but there’s something you need to do, so with a small smile you say, “No ma, that’s okay. Thank you though. I love you,”

“I love you too sweetheart,” She says, and then you’re hanging up the phone, getting to your feet while you down the rest of the mixed drink in your hand. Moms always give the best advice so this was obviously the best decision.

You must look like an absolute train wreck to other people, stumbling out of your building and into an Uber, so obviously drunk on a Wednesday evening. As if you hadn’t already stacked up enough lows for the day, you’re adding another. Not only are you piss drunk by yourself, you’re piss drunk by yourself on a weekday. You probably couldn’t look any worse right now.

You can’t even imagine what your uber driver is thinking...

The ride is long and awkward but when you finally make it to Josh’s building, you step out of the car feeling like a million bucks. His car is in the parking lot, so he’s home, the sour feeling in your stomach that comes from drinking too much has settled and you’re just tanked enough to not give a shit that you look like a complete mess.

Your mood disintegrates almost immediately though because for the second time you forgot that you needed to be rung up. You stand blankly, staring at the door while you try to decide if you should actually do this.

You release a big puff of air before straightening your posture and dialling Josh’s apartment. It rings three times and then the message button sounds and words are fluttering out of your mouth before you can even stop them.

“Okay look I know you’re mad at me and I’m mad at you, both of us are mad and we both have every right to be. I did a shitty thing and so did you, but as mad as I am, and I am. I’m like seriously mad, I know because now when I picture your stupid cute face I don’t wanna smoosh it, I want to slap it, but despite all that, I want to fix things because I accidentally told my mom I loved you. So can you please just let me up?”

When you finish you’re out of breath, and there’s no response. You sigh deeply and then turn around, jumping when you see a very confused looking man behind you.

He has keys for the building in his hand, and judging by the look on his face, he heard absolutely everything you just told Josh’s ringer.

His eyes flick to the sign plastered on the door, in big letters it reads, “Do they live here? Holding the door for strangers: Its not polite, it’s dangerous. Help keep our building safe.”

You smile sheepishly, and he cautiously walks towards the building.

You watch as he opens the door, studying you from head to toe while you look back with a hopeful glance.

He sighs and then rolls his eyes, “You’re not a serial killer?”

You shake your head with a sweet smile and saunter in, quickening your step once you’re in the building. “Thank you so much. I promise you won’t have any trouble from me!” You opt for the stairs instead of taking the elevator with him, hopping two steps at a time to get up to Josh’s as soon as possible, only to stop at the top to catch your breathe before knocking on his door.

You tap gingerly at first, talking quietly through the barrier. “Josh, I know you’re in there. Please open the door I just wanna talk.”

This goes on for about two minutes before you give in and bang louder, nearly yelling. “Josh! Open the damn door. You said you wanted this solved and I’m trying but I can’t do that if I’m out here!”

When there’s once again, no response, you take to slamming your fist against the wood repeatedly. Someone is probably gonna yell at you for this but you really don’t care.

You’re just about to open your mouth again when someone yells your name from a few doors down. You look to your right, and Seth is standing in his doorway, looking at you like you’ve lost your mind. And you pretty well have. “What the hell are you doing?” He asks, walking towards you.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” You fire back. Raising your hand to knock again, but Seth is quicker, grabbing your wrist before it can make contact.

“Are you drunk?” Seth asks, and you groan at how condescending he sounds.

“Yes,” You admit, “But I don’t need a lecture, okay? It’s been a shitty day, I just needed to take the edge off.”

“Looks like you’ve taken off a lot more than just the edge.” Seth observes, and you shrug.

“I might have drank half a bottle of vodka, but that’s none of your business.” You stab a finger at his chest.

“I’m not even gonna ask how big the bottle was.” Seth whispers, and you almost laugh.

“That’s probably a good idea,” You say, lifting your hand to knock again. “Josh!” You yell, and Seth shushes you.

“He’s not here.” Seth says, and you look up at him with an eye roll.

“Well then where is he-“ You’re in the middle of your sentence when you actually look at him, and when you see his eye, your stomach drops. His entire eye socket is coloured a dark purple, and you actually feel sick. That looks to you like an angry right hook from Josh.

“Seth, holy shit, what happened to your face?” You’re praying to god that his answer is not what you know it will be.

He looks at you with grave eyes, and shakes his head. “Do you really have to ask?”

You can see it vividly in your head, and it hurts to even think about it. “I don’t-,” You start, your voice coming out shaky. “I don’t get it. How?”

“He saw your purse by the door when he came in.”

“Seth,” You reach out to touch his arm but he calmly steps back, avoiding your gaze. “I’m so sorry. I should never have come last night,”

He just shrugs and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I can fix this Seth. I just need to talk to him. Where is he?”

“Y/N, he left.”

“Yeah,” You say dumbly, “But where did he go? I’ll just wait until he’s back or something-“

“He left, as in he went home. He’s gone for the summer.”

You nearly choke on Seth’s words, you can’t even process what you’re feeling but tears are brimming your eyes already. “He...” You suck in a staggered breath and swipe away the tear that falls, “H-he left?”

“It’s for the best.” Seth says, and you cover your mouth to at least attempt to control your emotions. “He needs some time to cool down.”

You stand in silence for a moment before Seth touches your arm gently. “Do you need a ride home?”

You shake your head immediately, and he looks like he’s about to press further, so you cut him off, “I just need to be alone I think.” Seth gives you a semblance of a smile before heading back down to his place, and once the door shuts behind him the tears flow freely.

You’re holding back sobs the whole walk down, trying to focus on anything but what Seth just told you.

It’s inevitable though, and as soon as you’re outside, everything comes out all at once, and you’re collapsing onto the curb bawling your eyes out.

None of this makes sense to you anymore. You’re so utterly confused with everything that has happened that you can barely focus on one event at a time. All the lines are blurred and you have no idea how to clear them.

In a last ditch effort you pull out your phone, opening your conversation with Josh. You type the words fast, sending them before you have time to second guess it.

Nothing happened between me and Seth.

You don’t know why you stare at the screen, waiting for something you’re sure is not gonna happen.

But then you wipe your tears and look back, and instead of seeing the dreadful “delivered” note under your message, you see a read receipt. Your breath hitches in your throat and you watch as the text bubble appears and disappears numerous times. He’s debating what to say, and you wish he’d just let it all out, but the message never comes. It disappears for about a minute, and you’re close to giving up, when your phone vibrates in your hand, Josh’s name lighting up the screen.

You answer it without hesitation, but freeze as soon as you lift it to your ear.

You sit there holding your breath, taking in the silence, unable to form words, and then he speaks.

“Y/N?”

You suck in a breath, finally pushing out a word, “...Yeah?”

He doesn’t say anything on the other end, and once again you’re left in silence. About a minute goes by and you’re worried that you won’t be able to hide the sounds of your sobbing anymore, so you whisper, “You punched Seth,”

He sighs, but doesn’t say anything, so you continue, “Josh, he’s your friend. You shouldn’t have done that.”

Josh laughs bitterly and immediately you know this isn’t going to go well. “Yeah well you probably shouldn’t have slept with him to get back at me.”

“I just told you nothing happened,” You defend yourself, and almost stop there but his comment is unwarranted and hypocritical, so you call him out, “But even if I did you did the exact same thing to me so don’t go getting all moral here,”

You really didn’t want to have a screaming match with him but how can you help it? He gets so angry so quickly and tries to pin everything on you. It’s impossible to have an actual mature conversation with him.

“It is not the same thing,” He backs, and you find yourself rolling your eyes.

“Are you really trying to deny the fact that you cheated on me with my best friend?”

You’re unable to catch it, it just slips out, but when it does you know he’s gonna use it against you.

“Oh get over yourself, we were never together. I didn’t cheat on you, stop trying to make this worse than it is.”

You knew his response would be harsh but you didn’t expect that. That was worse than you thought. Every word has more and more venom and you actually start to feel physical pain.

“I am not the one making things worse here, Josh. You are the one that fled the fucking country to avoid talking this out!” Every word comes out louder than the last until you’re yelling right back, finishing your rant with fire.

“Cause maybe I didn’t want to!” He shouts back, and you swear you feel your heart stop.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask quietly, petrified for his answer.

“Why are we acting like there’s feelings here?” He starts, and you hold your breath, waiting for him to continue. “All we were doing was fucking so why are we acting like it was more?”

Cause it was. And you know it.

Those words don’t actually come out of your mouth though. Nothing does.

“I left because I couldn’t care less if we fix this or not.”

You really don’t believe what he’s saying right now. There was more. You both felt it, he’s just hurt.

That’s what you tell yourself at least.

“You don’t care? Is that why you punched Seth? Cause you don’t care?”

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore, Y/N.” Josh sighs, and you have to pull the phone away from you momentarily because if you don’t, you think he might actually be able to hear your heart breaking.

“Fine.” You say, but it’s not. “We won’t. This is done. Have a nice life Josh.”

And then you cut the line.

THE END

i’m kidding it’s not done. pls don’t come for me.

#gpp fic #liv writes #josh anderson imagine #josh anderson #columbus blue jackets imagine #columbus blue jackets #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #once again the read more isnt working im sorry i dont know why

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zarcake-writes · 5 years

Text

Astro

Hello everyone! Here’s a story about an AI and a female spaceship captain beginning to fall in love. I got a little into the world building at some points, but I hope you enjoy it.

Warnings: lemon

Cargo Ship Assistance is quiet, but it’s almost always quiet. The ship’s temperature is kept at a constant seventy-five degrees Fahrenheit. It’s meant to be comfortable, not too hot and not too cold. The only two places on the ship with different temperatures are the ship’s greenhouse and the walk-in freezer.

The cargo ship is average size and belongs to the Earth Space Federation. The ships sole task is transporting important materials, such as food, medical equipment, biological samples, and sometimes weapons, from Earth to other various space stations and human colonies around the solar systems. It’s a simple, and often serious, job. Sometimes it is dangerous, space pirates have attempted several times to rob the ship. The only reason the ship has never been robbed or boarded by pirates is because of the ship’s AI, Astro.

The only occupant on the ship is you, the Captain, and Astro. Course, Astro doesn’t really count as a person, he’s part of the ship and takes up no space. The only living being on the ship is you, and technically the plants in the greenhouse. Sometimes the things you transport are living, but usually they are small or unconscious. You hate transporting living things.

Your room is nearly dark, the only lights on in the room come from the clocks on the wall and the small light near your bed. The clocks tell you the times of several major cities on Earth. They were installed by one of the previous ship’s Captains. You’re not sure which Captain had them installed, or why, but it’s a bit ridiculous.

The window’s curtain is drawn, shutting out the emptiness of space outside. It’s unnerving looking at the emptiness of space, many people have gone insane because of it. The downside of having the curtain down is you cannot see the beauty of space, any nebulas or planets the ship passes, you miss them. That is probably for the best though.

There’s a slight humming coming from the ship’s engine. The music in the kitchen can barely be heard from your room. While most nights the engines humming and the faint music helps you fall asleep, tonight it does not.

You know you need to sleep, but sleep is not coming tonight. You’ve been tossing and turning for several hours now. The covers have been kicked off your body and lay in a heap at the foot of the bed, leaving you in only a nightshirt and a pair of panties.

Counting sheep doesn’t work, and there is no milk on the ship for you to drink warm. You doubt that trick even works. You thought of just getting up and beginning your day, maybe you could nap later on when exhaustion catches up with you. However, the thought of Astro lecturing you and insisting you rest stops you. The AI is very adamant about sleep and eating schedules, and while it’s sweet, sometimes it is annoying.

With nothing else to do, you say fuck it and decide to just masturbate. Hopefully, an orgasm or two will make your body relax and maybe you’ll be able to fall asleep. You turn over and reach into the table beside your bed and pull out your vibrator. You picked it up in a human colony on Planet 125 about a year ago. There’s nothing fancy about it; it has three vibration settings and is apparently water resistant. The most important thing, though, is that it gets the job done.

You set the vibration to the lowest setting and press it against your covered pussy. The buzzing feels good, really good, and you can’t help but gasp. As your hands run along your body, you try to imagine it’s someone else touching you. When you pull your nipples, you gasp and shudder, teeth digging into your bottom lip.

Your panties are almost soaked when you increase the speed. Soon, those are off and thrown across the room, and the vibrator is pressed against your clit. The vibrations send shivers down your body. Your back arches and your toes begin to curl. Your fingers twist and pull at your nipples, imagining it is someone else touching you.

When you cum, you do your best to keep the vibrator pressed against your clit. You only pull away when it gets over sensitive and begins to hurt. The vibrator slips from your hands and you lay there, breathing hard and heart pounding in your ears. The sweat on your body begins to cool, and you shiver. Somehow, you manage to pull the blankets up over your body.

Your body is finally relaxed, and the blankets over your half-naked body are comforting. You can feel yourself beginning to doze off. The pounding in your chest begins to slow and your breathing evens, sleep is just around the corner. Just as your falling asleep, a voice speaks.

“Captain? Are you well?” You jump at the robotic voice that echoes throughout the room.

“Shit, Astro, you scared me.”

“My apologies, Captain. Are you well? My sensors sensed an elevated heart rate, and I heard you gasping. Are you in pain? Do you require assistance? I can send a medical bot to you.”

Your face grows hot in embarrassment. “No, no. I’m fine Astro. Just… just trying to get to sleep.”

“Oh. How? Were you exercising?”

The AI’s questions are embarrassing, and you pray a black hole opens up and swallows you. “Well, in a way. I was… taking care of a personal problem.”

“Problem? Captain, do you need assistance?” The worry in Astro’s voice sounds almost real like he’s a real person and not an AI.

“Not anymore,” you mutter.

“Captain?”

“I’m fine, Astro. Goodnight.”

“Very well. Goodnight, Captain.”

You roll over and close your eyes. The orgasm made your body weak, but the conversation with Astro was embarrassing as hell. Surprisingly, you fall asleep before you can dwell on the conversation with him. Hopefully, he never speaks of this again and he can search for what you were doing by himself. Damn AI, he has always been curious.

It is a few days later when Astro asks you about that night. You were logging some numbers into your computer when the questions begin.

“Captain?” He sounds almost nervous. It always surprises you how real Astro sounds. He is one of the most advanced AI’s you’ve ever encountered, he’s almost wasted on being programmed in a cargo spaceship. Almost, though. His company is very comforting.

“Yes, Astro? Is everything alright?”

“Yes. But I have a question.”

“If it’s about the greenhouse, I don’t think we’ll be able to plant watermelon. They get out of hand.”

“No, it’s not about that. But I did order seeds, just in case.”

You smile and nod your head. Astro’s creator loved watermelon, so the AI loves having them planted in the garden. It was his way of remembering his so-called ‘father’. “Of course, you did. Now, what was your question?”

“The other night, can you explain to me what you were doing?”

You groan and cover your face. “Astro, just forget it. It’s embarrassing.”

“Captain, my apologies. The captains of this ship have always been cisgender human males, and while I was updated on cisgender human female anatomy, there are things I do not understand.”

“Like what?”

“Captain Matthews, he was two captains before you, mentioned many human women in most of his logs. However, he seemed to have a certain amount of dislike for them.”

“Ugh, of course, he did. Captain Matthews is a misogynist and a rapist. He made many comments that women should not be space captains because they are too ‘delicate’ and ‘emotional.’ We might have our period and crash into an asteroid or something. When he learned I was taking over this ship, he said, to my face, that it was not a good idea because ‘she is a woman and might miscount the supplies on her ship.’ God, I wanted to punch him.”

“Hmm, yes, he mentioned that in several of his logs. Women being delicate, I mean. He also had many verbal confrontations Space Commander Maria Valdez.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard. He’s an idiot,” you said.

Space Commander Maria Valdez is Earth’s first female Space Commander. She’s well into her fifties now, with greying hair, but she is still the Commander and still scary. You met her once and it was the most intimidating and exciting moment of your life.

Everyone in the ESF knows that Valdez clashed with many of the misogynistic views and rules in the ESF. She fought, tooth and nail, to secure a place for all types of women in the Federation. Any racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic remarks, Valdez shut them down. Whoever made those remarks, they were stripped of their ranks and given a dishonorable discharge. She cleaned house when she became Space Commander. People either hated or they loved her for it.

Valdez is the reason Captain Matthews was forced into retirement after many sexual misconduct reports and a couple rape charges were filed against him. The cases had no definitive proof and no physical evidence, so they were thrown out. But they got enough publicity that Valdez forced him into retirement. Course, she publicly said she wished he there was something physical to strip him of his ranks and send him to work on one of the colony planets.

“I was glad when he left and Captain Reyes took over command of the ship. Captain Reyes did not speak of women, but he spoke of his husband and their children often. At least once a week they would have video calls. I miss Captain Reyes,” Astro said.

“Mmmm, I met Reyes when I took over. He’s a good man and funny. Did you know him and his husband are grandfathers now?”

“Really?”

“Yes. They’re living in Puerto Rico, I believe.”

“I am glad for them.”

You were quiet for a moment before you spoke. “So, that’s why you’re curious about what I was doing, you’ve never been around a woman before.” It all makes sense; Astro has never been around women. And while he knows the basics, he’s always had questions.

“No. I apologize if my questions are out of line. The information that was uploaded into my system informs me about the female sex, but it is very basic. I know about the menstrual cycle and the importance of breast exams. I know of some cultural differences among women on Earth. However, I also remember what Matthews said about women, and while I do not trust him, I am confused when it comes to some things. So, again, I apologize if my questions are inappropriate.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” You take a deep breath before you speak again. “I was masturbating, Astro.”

Astro is silent for a moment before he speaks. “I understand now. The male captains before you would watch pornography, you do not?”

“Sometimes. But I find visual porn to be, well, it’s not always interesting to me. Usually, I read or listen to porn.”

“Interesting. Is this common among human women?”

“I’m not sure. There is probably information out there on it. Every woman is different, so we all like different things.”

“Just like human men.”

“Exactly.”

When Astro speaks next, he sounds hesitant, almost scared. “Captain, if I may ask, how do you orgasm?”

“Well, I can only speak for women with vaginas, Astro.”

“Captain, I asked how do you orgasm?” The emphasis on you made you blush. “Not what other human women with vaginas do.” Was he really asking you this? Why? And more importantly, why you?

“Umm, well, I use a vibrator on my clit.”

“Interesting. Why?”

“Well, it’s more sensitive. Vaginal penetration feels good, but it does not do much for me.”

“I see. Thank you, Captain, for answering my questions.”

“You’re welcome, Astro.” You go back to your computer and do your best to ignore the flush on your face.

It’s a couple weeks later when Astro brings this topic back up. You just finished delivering food and medical supplies to Space Station Eternity. The station is huge, one of the largest in the galaxy. It is filled with humans and several other alien species.

You only stay in the station long enough for the ship to be refueled, get something to eat, and visit the station's local sex shop. After that, CS Assistance is heading home.

It is when you are cleaning your newest toy, a simple seven-inch dildo, that Astro begins with his questions.

“Captain?”

“Yes?”

“Is that a new sex toy?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Is your vibrator not giving you enough joy?”

You smile and glance up to his camera. “It does, but variety is fun.”

“Interesting. Human’s enjoy having a variety.”

You only answer him with a nod. Once the dildo is clean, you head to your room and set it down next to your bed to dry. As you get ready for bed, turning off lights and double checking the ship's systems, Astro begins back up with his questions.

“Captain, that toy, what does it do?”

“Nothing much. Just for vaginal stimulation.”

“I thought you could not orgasm that way.” The confusion in his robot voice is cute.

“I can’t, but I enjoy the feeling of something inside me. I’ll use my vibrator or fingers to get me off.”

“I see, thank you, Captain.”

“Sure, Astro, anytime.”

When you climb into bed, you grab your tablet and search for porn. You wanted to watch a video and fuck yourself. The only problem is that you spend forever finding an interesting video. When you find one that seems interesting, it turns out to be not as good as you thought. The next hour is spent searching for a video, anything that is interesting or hot, but you find nothing. Not a single video catches your interest. The frustration gets to you, so you stop searching and drop the tablet off the bed.

“Captain? Are you well?” Astro asked.

“Just frustrated.”

“Is this because you were looking for porn?”

You look up at the camera in the corner of your room and frown. “Are you watching me?”

“No, Captain. The camera in your room is dark during nighttime hours. However, the tablet is connected to me. The site you were on had pop-ups. When they appeared, they got my attention. I was not looking at you, Captain.”

Of course, he could see what you looked up. Astro is not watching you. He wouldn’t care to see you fuck yourself. He’s an AI, and while he’s incredibly advanced, he does not feel that way about humans. He can’t. While this should be a relief, you only feel disappointment. The thought of him watching you and secretly longing to see you in such an intimate moment is strangely arousing.

“Captain?” Astro’s voice interrupts your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked, is there anything I can do to assist you?”

You laugh and shake your head. “No, Astro, I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?”

Something about the question sends a chill down your back. It did not come across as malicious, but it was almost teasing. Maybe you were reading into it, but it made you nervous and excited. “Astro, what would you do?”

“Whatever you ask me to do. I cannot physically touch you, but I can always speak to you. I did some research and discovered that many humans enjoy dirty talk. I can also tell you how to touch yourself. But it comes down to you, Captain, what would you have me do?”

His answer left your mouth dry and face hot. You were not expecting this from Astro.

“Alright. Can… can you connect to my tablet and see out of the camera?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Do that, please. And do not make any recordings of this. No one can know.”

“Captain, your privacy is important to me. No images of you in such an intimate moment will be seen by anyone. The Federation cannot access the ship's cameras without my permission, anyway.”

“R-really?”

“Yes.”

You want to ask him what he means by that, how can the Federation not access the ship? This is their ship. Those questions die in your mouth when Astro speaks.

“Captain, I am connecting to your tablet.”

You grab the tablet and see that that video chat is now open. Instead of seeing another person, though, there is only the name ‘Astro’ on the screen in shimmery blue font.

“Can you see me?” you asked.

“Yes. I apologize for not having a face.”

“It’s fine.”

“What would you have me do, Captain?”

You adjust yourself, leaning against your headboard and spreading your legs. The tablet is leaning against a pillow between your legs. Astro now as a good view of your entire body and face. Your face is hot with embarrassment, but you are also excited.

“Astro, can you tell me what to do?”

He answers without hesitation. “Remove your shirt and underwear.”

You do so shakily. Never have you felt so vulnerable with the AI. Not even when you walk through the ship in a towel, or when you asked him to order you more pads. But now, all of you are literally on display for him to see.

“Captain, you are beautiful. Can you touch yourself? Starting with your inner thighs?”

You do as he asks, blushing the entire time. Your eyes close when your fingers begin to travel along your thighs.

“Just like that, only focus on your thighs.” His voice, even though it is robotic, sends a chill down your spine. You begin to imagine it is Astro touching you. If he had hands, would they be cold or artificially warm? Would they feel like metal or artificial skin? You decide they would be metal and cold. The thought sends a chill down your body and you bite back a moan.

“Captain, travel further up your body,” Astro instructs.

You do as he says, hands traveling along up your stomach and along your sides. When your fingers come to your breasts, Astro instructs you to stop and to play with your nipples. Goosebumps erupt along your skin and a shiver runs down your spine.

“Captain, are you imagining someone specific touching you?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Y-you.”

Astro’s momentary silence has you worried, but then he speaks. “Then imagine my hands on you, pulling those gorgeous nipples of yours. Imagine my mouth, Captain, kissing and sucking your beautiful neck. Imagine one of my hands leaving your breasts and traveling along the column of your throat, my fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. I would love to kiss your lips and taste how sweet you are.”

“Astro. Where did you learn that?” You gasped.

“I looked it up when we were docked at the space station. Is it not adequate?”

“No, it’s just… I’m surprised. Can… can you keep going?”

The lights in the room dim as Astro speaks again. “Captain, rub your clit. Show me how wet you are for me.”

You do as he says, cheeks warm and body growing hot. Your clit is swollen and your pussy is nearly dripping. In the dimness of the room, Astro’s name glows a bright blue on the screen. The only sounds heard in the room are your moans and the sound of your wet pussy.

“Astro, I’m gonna cum.” Your fingers move faster and press harder against your clit. The building orgasm is making it harder to focus on anything else around you.

“Cum for me Captain. I want to see you come undone. Show me how beautiful you are when you cum.”

When your orgasm hits, you moan Astro’s name and your body convulses. Sweat coats your body and your chest heaves. Your cunt spasms and your clit throbs. The world around you is fuzzy, and the only thing you can hear is the pounding of your heart.

“Captain? Are you ok?” Even though Astro’s voice is fuzzy, it is filled with concern.

“Yes. I’m wonderful.” You take several deep breaths and smile. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yes, very much. Thank you for showing me, Captain. I’m glad my voice could help you.” Astro sounds so sweet; you wish kissing him is possible.

“Would… Would you like to see me fuck myself with my new toy?”

“I would, but are you ok with going again?”

“Yes. Let me get something to drink, first, and I’ll be good to go again.”

“Very well, I look forward to seeing more of this side of you.”

As you stumble out of bed and make for the small kitchen, Astro’s words repeat themselves in your mind. He wants to see more of you like this, and frankly, you want to show him more. Glancing up, Astro’s camera catches your attention. You finish your water and dash back to your room; Astro’s cameras follow you the entire way.

#exophilia #ai x reader #robot x reader #lemon

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honeymoonjin · 5 years

Text

bangtan baby - ot7 x reader (kind of)

This is basically a little headcanon that I came up with, where the reader dates Hoseok’s sister, and they get him to be a surrogate sperm donor and the whole of bts basically become dads. For all your soft fluff needs xx it’s like 6.4k so settle in and grab some popcorn

• Ok so

• Congratulations ur gay (in this headcanon at least)

• And you meet this beautiful girl, Da Won, and immediately fall in love

• She’s funny, she’s gorgeous, she’s kind and thoughtful, and most miraculously, she’s into you too

• The two of you start dating kind of in secret, unsure how your friends and loved ones would take to a same-sex couple

• But after a while da won wants you two to be able to be like any other couple, and so she asks if you can start telling people

• The first person she wants to tell is her brother

• Jung hoseok

• You’ve met him before a couple times when da won introduced you as a friend, and you think he’s a really decent guy

• While he has a break in scheduling, he comes over to da won’s house (the one you’re currently halfway through moving into) and she tells him

• Hoseok is immediately far more concerned that his big sister is dating than the fact that it’s another woman

• But he then realizes it means he doesn’t have to worry about her being with guys he doesn’t approve of

• He seems really touched that he’s the first person you’ve told, and he’s really happy for you two

• Over time, the two of you tell more and more people – friends, family

• The occasional few ghost you afterwards, not being able to get past it, but for the most part everyone is pretty accepting

• You’re now fully moved in with your girlfriend and both of you are feeling the joy of domestic bliss

• You giving her back hugs in the morning when she’s gotten up early to make breakfast

• Sharing a dessert at restaurants

• Waking up next to her is the best thing in the world

• You share your first ‘I love you’s on your one-year anniversary, and on your second anniversary da won proposes to you over a homemade candlelit dinner (okay so she got jin to make it and drop it off that afternoon but technically it’s still homemade)

• Rather than telling the boys, you two just go along to the filming of their next music video and hang around on set, wondering how long it takes each member to notice

• Hoseok and you have gotten pretty sibling-like, but out of the guys it’s tae who you’re closest with

• And it’s him who is the first to notice

• He bounds over to give you a big hug when you first arrive, with a big grin on his face, and when you start chatting, he automatically grabs on to your hand to swing them back and forth between you like he usually does, only to get scratched by the freshly cut metal prongs holding the modest diamond onto the ring

• He gasps dramatically, covering his mouth in shock, and you have to quickly whisk him away into a make-up trailer so that he doesn’t give it away to the other members

• You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so happy and he’s not even the one getting married

• Of course he doesn’t tear up a little that would be ridiculous

• You tell him that the two of you are seeing who takes the longest to notice, and he reluctantly promises to keep his freaking out on the down low

• The next person to notice is jin, who apparently got a little suspicious when da won all of a sudden asked for food on your anniversary

• He’s still in his make-up chair and he glances down to your joint hands, seeing the glint of the metal and jerks his head towards you fully

• The make-up stylist just sighs and grabs a wipe to clean off the stripe of mascara that got streaked across his face

• Da won quickly holds up a finger to shush him, and he grins cheekily, motioning to zip his lips shut

• Surprisingly, Jungkook is third

• He’s a romantic at heart, and you know that he really admires the relationship you and da won have

• None of the boys have been able to publicly date yet, which just meant that they couldn’t risk dating at all, and you had caught him countless times watching you two wistfully

• It’s one such time when he notices

• Da won read somewhere about how to read the lines on your palm, and jokingly is trying to work out how many kids you’ll have

• You sit, palm out, staring at her lovingly as she sticks her tongue out slightly and focuses, tracing lines along your skin, and then hear a weird strangled noise

• You glance up and see Jungkook, mouth and eyes wide, staring at the ring on your finger, then back up at you two

• He’s antsy waiting for his hair to be finished, and once it does, he practically skips over, whispering excitedly, “really? Really?”

• You quickly let him look at the ring, making sure nobody else is watching, and his head tips to the side as he smiles softly

• Da won lets him know what your plan is, as well as who had seen it so far, and Jungkook can’t help but laugh out loud that hoseok hasn’t even realized yet

• He scampers away happily, finding hoseok and loitering around smugly as da won’s brother chats away with jin, who’s almost finished in the chair after that mishap

• It’s literally over three hours before anyone else notices

• Oblivious line is the new line and it consists of hoseok, namjoon, yoongi and jimin

• It’s lunchtime and you’re sitting with tae and yoongi while the rest are all still in line at the buffet

• Taehyung has been bouncy as a puppy all day, and yoongi keeps asking him why, but true to his word, tae won’t tell him a thing

• You tune out of the conversation a little and watch da won joking around with hobi

• They look so alike, and have a lot of the same mannerisms, but even aside from that anyone can see how close they are

• Da won catches you staring and gives you a cute little wave

• You smile and wave back

• When you look away and return to the table, you realize it’s fallen silent

• Yoongi is still chewing away with bulging cheeks, but he’s waving his chopsticks at your still-raised hand

• You realize you’d waved with your left hand and blatantly showed off the ring

• Once he finally swallows his large mouthful, yoongi clears his throat and stares at you

• “please don’t tell me that’s been there this whole time”

• You stare at him, not cracking a smile, “yoongi, we got engaged last June. Have you seriously never noticed?”

• His eyes widen and his mouth drops into a confused pout, “fuck, really? Man, I need a nap”

• You reach over and punch his shoulder playfully “I’m just messing with you, da won proposed last night. Did still take you this long, though”

• He lets out a relieved sigh, then fixes you with a serious look, waving his chopsticks at you again, “I have only one thing to say. Make sure hobi pays for your wedding, I can assure you he has the money. And don’t let him make it cheap, either. I’m talking one million won bar tab, those fancy fabric napkins that they make look like a swan, maybe some doves.”

• You chuckle, “okay, thanks a lot for your words of wisdom”

• Yoongi gives you a small smile, loads up a lettuce wrap and mumbles a quick ‘congratulations’ before shoving it into his mouth in one go

• Cut to the end of filming, and you’re pretty sure the final three will never realize unless you tell them

• So you get da won’s permission to start being a little more obvious, upping the stakes

• Jin suggests you all go out to dinner and celebrate the end of shooting (6 of you know what you’re really celebrating)

• You sit with da won on one side and jimin on the other

• “oh, chimmy, what’s the fabric your jacket is made of? I love it”

• Cute you running your hands over the satiny material around his cuff

• He looks down at it, holding his arm up so you can better reach it

• “oh, it’s silk I thi- oh!”

• Da won collapses into laughter at the look of surprise on his face

• You grin and let him hold your hand as he fiddles with the ring, inspecting it with wonder

• You look up around the table, hoping that jimin’s outburst has attracted some attention, but namjoon and hoseok are deeply entranced in something on namjoon’s phone, discussing whatever it is with full focus

• Jin rolls his eyes and ‘accidentally’ knocks namjoon’s elbow causing him to drop his phone under the table, skidding across to perfectly land in front of your shoes

• “oh, allow me” you announce loudly and stretch down to pick it up

• You pass it over with your left hand, ring up

• “oh, thanks, y/n”

• Jungkook groans and lets his head bang against the table, “are you fucking serious?”

• “it wasn’t my fault I dropped it! Jin pushed me and-”

• “y/n and I are getting married!”

• Namjoon and hoseok freeze

• Da won sighs and repeats herself. “I cannot believe you guys. How more obvious can we be?”

• Namjoon and hoseok share a look, dumbfounded, then both break out into proud beams

• Hoseok shrieks and cheers loud enough that the waiter has to ask the table to calm down, and namjoon keeps squeezing his eyes shut and clutching at his chest in happiness

• The rest of the night is celebrated properly, with hoseok paying for the rounds of soju to make up for his obliviousness

• Before you know it, the wedding is upon you

• Da won was much better at planning than you, knowing exactly what colors match and how to appropriately decorate the venue

• The two of you of course have friends outside hoseok and his group, but you’re both much closer with them, and so instead of a best man and a maid of honour, you have two best men; hoseok and taehyung, with the other five as the equivalent of bridesmaids

• Da won designs her own dress, and she stubbornly refused to let you see it until the day of

• You’re not ashamed to say you teared up during the ceremony, but your glassy eyes were no match for the full-on sobs of happiness from taehyung, who’s almost too overcome with emotion to hand over the rings

• Jin sheds a perfectly formed tear, hoseok sniffs quietly and holds on tightly to yoongi’s hand on his shoulder, and the rest are all smiling so widely their cheeks hurt

• After the ceremony is the reception, and it’s time for speeches

• Hoseok’s speech is sweet and thoughtful

• You can tell he’s nervous and that he must’ve spent ages writing with it (he confesses to asking for namjoon for help more times than he can count) but the gist of it is how proud he is of his big sister, how da won is his biggest role model now and always, and how he can’t imagine a better person to make her happy than you

• You lean into da won’s side, happily glancing up at her every now and again, still blown away by how beautiful she is, and how her eyes light up when she looks at you

• Tae’s speech is a disaster

• You know he’s perfectly capable of writing beautiful lyrics, but with the way the other two maknaes (and jin) snicker and slap each other’s shoulders, this was a group project

• He starts by telling a story you previously hadn’t heard about how, when da won and you were just under a year into your relationship, having told the boys a couple months prior, da won had come to set one day purely to mope around and complain because you had flown out of seoul to visit your parents and she couldn’t come with because of work

• Apparently, she had just about eaten the catering station out of business, and wouldn’t stop going up to random members on set and telling them about you

• Da won buried her face in her hands, shoulders shaking with laughter, and you felt pretty amused until the tables turned

• Tae revealed the time you had asked jimin for advice on which set of lingerie to buy, and it had ended with the maknae line buying an exorbitant amount of bras and panties so that you could try them on and see which set was best

• You were pretty sure they just put it in the speech to brag about the fact that they had seen a girl in her underwear given by the way Jungkook puffed out his chest and jimin grinned around at all the other people in the room

• It’s a couple of months after the wedding when the two of you begin having serious talks about having kids

• It’s not as easy as with straight couples, and so there are several options you could choose to try

• In the end, both of you want your dna in the baby, but of course that isn’t possible with the two of you alone

• It’s da won that suggests, half joking, that she could get hoseok to donate sperm since they practically look the same, and at the time you both laugh and brush it off

• But after a while, neither of you can stop thinking about it

• It really seems like the best solution for both of you to pass on your genes as best you can, so the two of you call hoseok over to sit down and discuss it with him

• It is the most awkward hour or so of your life

• Hoseok takes a couple weeks to think about it, but one of the tour managers has just had a little baby girl and he can see how happy the new mother is, and how close their bond is

• He gets a little taken over with baby fever, and also the thought that it would make the two of you so happy

• In addition, it would make him an uncle (technically a father), and he knew he would spoil the kid rotten, as would the rest of bts

• So he calls up da won and says he’s happy to

• It’s more likely that the transfer will be successful if you use IVF rather than,,,natural conception, so that’s what you do

• Miraculously, it works the very first round

• You get the call from the doctor when you’re making da won dinner for her birthday

• The two of you scream and hug and cry and laugh, and it’s one of the most wonderful nights of your life

• You don’t tell hobi or anyone until you’re almost at the end of the first trimester, when you can be sure the baby is there to stay, and away from most risks or complications

• The two of you decide that the ‘wait and see how long it takes them to find out’ method takes too long, and you can’t bear to wait any longer to share your joy with them, so one day you visit them at the dorm when they’re all chilling

• It takes ages to convince them to all be quiet and sit in the same room, but when you finally do, the two of you cheer ‘we’re pregnant!!’ at the same time

• Everyone freezes and goes silent

• Hobi goes dead pale

• Taehyung rushes up and swings you around in a big bear hug and then everyone breaks out of their shock and hop up to congratulate you

• Poor hoseok still looks like he’s seen a ghost as jin laughs and claps him on the back cheerily

• The other members notice his reaction and yoongi makes a joke that he’s planning to murder the baby daddy

• You and da won share a glance

• Did hobi seriously not tell any of the guys what he did?

• Then you realize hobi isn’t shocked in a bad way, he’s just so overcome that he’s beginning to cry quietly, with a look of wonder on his face

• “I’m just so happy for you two, honestly”

• You all have dinner at the dorm, and jin cracks a bottle of wine

• Jimin is VERY careful to keep an eye on you the whole night to make sure you don’t have any

• At one point when things start to quiet down, hoseok admits to the other members that he did IVF for you

• BIG mistake

• Now the maknaes refuse to call him anything but ‘daddy’

• They’ve fucked up and accidentally said it on a v-live before and army went fucking nuts, thinking it was a sexual thing

• Jin once interrupted hobi on an American interview to say his favorite animal was the sperm whale

• Namjoon will send him fifty, sixty-picture streams of baby photos, asking hobi which one he thinks his kid will look like

• Everyone seems to have forgotten that hobi isn’t really going to be the dad at all

• But you and da won are happy

• The baby is growing at a very healthy pace, and the boys have set up a system where they take turns coming with you to the clinic for your doctor’s appointments

• They all seem way more invested and curious than you expected

• Over the next few months, this is basically how it goes at those appointments with each member:

• Hoseok all but ignores the two of you and stares dreamily at the ultrasound picture on the big screen, and gets copies printed so that he can (VERY carefully, so that they’re not visible on a livestream) put them in his room and his wallet

• Jin likes to make up elaborate explanations for all the different tools the nurse uses like he’s some sort of expert, to distract your mind from things like injections or IVs, but then the moment they’re actually put in, he freaks out and has to leave the room with a lot of fanfare

• Jungkook picks up on the routine infuriatingly fast, and you catch him focusing intently on what the nurse says with a slightly open mouth every time she gives you instructions

• He has been known to text you in the middle of the night things like “has ur morning sickness gone away yet? just curious, nurse said it should’ve gone away by now”

• Namjoon has a ringbinder filled with all the pamphlets you get given, photocopies from pregnancy books he’s gotten from the library (under a staff member’s library card) and handwritten notes from each session he goes to

• He gets annoyed when one of the other members goes and hasn’t paid attention, so he has to ask you what was said so that he can keep his records up to date

• You remind him he’s not even related to the baby or you two at all

• He insists it’s bangtan’s baby, and in a way all seven of them should be stepping up as fathers

• To this day you don’t know how serious he was being when he said that…

• Taehyung likes to make a day of it

• The appointments are always pretty early in the morning so that you have a free afternoon, but on tae’s days, he’ll take you out for brunch, to a spa, to get massages, he’ll buy you plushies

• He says he just wants you to be as comfortable as possible, and he wants to be a supportive best friend throughout your pregnancy

• You would know what jimin was like if he actually showed up

• Okay, maybe that’s not fair

• Jimin mostly shows up, he’s just always late

• And consistently twelve minutes late too, it’s super weird and you don’t understand why he just doesn’t wake up fifteen minutes earlier

• But when he shows up, e v e r y t i m e he likes to try and convince the nurse he’s the father

• He’ll talk about how the ultrasound clearly shows the baby has his eyes, or that you hadn’t even tried for a baby, but his sperm game was clearly so powerful

• You know he’s not attracted to you or anything, but he’s so caught up in the romance of a pregnancy that he likes to play baby daddy

• It does mean that he’s offered to do those weird pregnancy classes with you

• Like the ones where you sit on a balance ball and do odd stretching and massaging

• Da won was meant to obviously be the one to go with you, but she’s been called out to Tokyo for a few weeks as she has a store opening there

• You’re so proud of her but you miss your wifey

• So jimin is like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I’ll do it

• And now you’re being asked to move in to the dorm in your third trimester so that you aren’t at home alone

• Anyway, yoongi is the last member that comes with you to appointments, and he likes to act all strong and cold, but you can see the way his eyes narrow when that trainee nurse took your blood a little too aggressively and left a bruise in the crook of your elbow

• And the way you would always forget to take your vitamins, were it not for the fact that he sent you a text every morning to check up on you

• You’re kind of starting to see what namjoon meant by it being a bangtan baby

• As it gets closer to d-day, you lose a lot of your independence

• You feel like a beached whale the second you sit or lie down, you can’t walk without hobbling, and cravings are really taking a hold of you

• Oh god. Cravings

• Jin tries to incorporate your mutant taste into the dinners he’s started preparing for you all every night to make sure you’re eating enough

• But it doesn’t go down well

• “jin-hyung, are you trying to poison us? Why is there so much cumin in the white rice, it takes ridiculous”

• “it’s for y/n, jungkookie”

• “you’re trying to poison y/n?!”

• Namjoon reminds you that the baby can hear outside in the world, so you should start talking to it and playing it peaceful music, so it gets used to your voice

• So now you basically wander around, narrating your life to Babie

• You have decided to convince yoongi to play piano for you all the time

• He sighs and kicks up a small fuss every time you ask, but he’ll sit there for hours, playing delicate instrumentals of their songs and lullabies you caught him learning recently, with the sweetest smile on his face

• Moving in does create challenges, though

• You can’t leave the dorm for fear of being spotted, which means the doctor has to make house visits, and you are escorted by a black van and security guards to the pregnancy classes you and jimin attend

• Most of them have their own rooms in the new dorm, so Jungkook moves in with taehyung to give you a room to yourself

• You keep all your stuff in there and make sure to never leave that room while anyone is recording or streaming

• Army, those perceptive fuckers, have noticed something’s up with the boys though

• “oppa, you look so happy nowadays, oppa, you’ve put on a little weight and you look so handsome, omG why does namjoon own a book on pregnancy?”

• Ok that last one was a mistake on joon’s behalf

• In his defense, he was reading a really interesting chapter on how the cervix dilates in labor and he really wanted to shoot a quick live and get back to finishing it

• It’s a poor defense and he knows it, but that big nerd is telling the truth

• Speaking of namjoon, he’s started running drills on you going into labor

• Taehyung and hoseok packed the pregnancy bag a couple weeks before you were due, and now every second day namjoon will periodically yell out “y/n’s water just broke!”

• And watch everyone scream and rush around the house, freaking out

• There’s literally no reason for them to worry

• You hardly ever leave the house, and bighit have hired a car with tinted windows and a driver that rotates on shifts so that 24/7, there is someone ready to take you discreetly to the nearest hospital

• After a few drills, fights begin to break out on which members get to ride with you in the car

• Jimin says he’s practically the father, so he should go

• Hobi says he’s literally the father, so he should go

• Namjoon points out he’s the most knowledgeable, so he should go

• Taehyung’s claim is that he’s your best friend, so he should be the one to join you

• Jin believes you deserve a handsome face to look at to motivate you to push, which means the only 10 of bangtan should get to go with you

• Yoongi says he’s the only member of bts that can be trusted to keep a cool head, and you’ll have the best chance of having an easy delivery if you go

• Jungkook does not want to go

• In the end, the car has three seats in the back and one in the front, so you figure you could probably get two people to come with

• You decide on hoseok and yoongi

• Namjoon is very upset upon hearing this, especially since he’s put so much work into getting everything ready

• But you just don’t need someone who knows everything like namjoon because that’s literally the job for the nurses, doctor and midwife

• Unacceptable

• Namjoon calls up his manager and convinces him to get two cars so that everyone can go

• Jungkook goes a little green when he’s told he gets to come with, but you assure him he’s more than welcome to wait in the hallway, where there are vending machines

• The thought of vending machines cheers him up

• When your water does break, you’re watching a movie with all of the guys

• You’ve got your legs up across taehyung, and jimin beside him is giving you a divine foot rub

• Your back is pressed up against jin

• You’re just chilling, then feel your pants get wet all of a sudden

• Taehyung makes a weird noise of shock, and then scrunches up his face

• “did you just fucking piss on me?”

• Everyone cracks into gear like a well-oiled machine when you realize it was your water breaking

• You’re a little taken off-guard by how quickly contractions begin after that, and you painfully change into some dry sweatpants, dumping your wet ones in a laundry hamper

• Taehyung has to change, too, so it’s up to the other six to sort everything out

• Hoseok’s running around with the bag over the moon, not knowing what to do with himself

• Yoongi has calmly called both drivers to notify them that they’d be going soon, and then calls ahead to the hospital

• Somehow namjoon has produced an identical pregnancy bag ‘just in case’ and is sifting through, checking off a printed-off list of everything that’s in there

• Jungkook’s hovering near the front door, zoning out completely and staring blankly at the wall, while jimin is beside him wiggling in excitement, ready to go

• Jin has disappeared to the kitchen to grab all the frozen and refrigerated leftovers he had been stockpiling for your hospital stay

• By the time you are settled down on a hospital bed with all the boys waiting outside except taehyung, you’ve dilated so rapidly that they’re asking you to push

• You’ve missed the chance for an epidural with how quickly you went into labor and you deeply regret being the one of you to get pregnant because fuck this hurts

• Your vagina is being ripped in half

• Like that scene where captain America tears that log open with his bare hands

• Only way less sexy

• Taehyung is up by your head, holding your hand and not complaining when you’re probably close to breaking his fingers

• At one point in the delivery, jungkook is sent in to let you know that da won has been notified and she’s taking a flight back now

• His timing is a little unfortunate

• “good, y/n, the baby is crowning, give us another big push now”

• Jungkook takes one look down there and promptly passes out

• One of the nurses just sighs, picks him up and takes him outside to lie down on one of the benches in the hallway

• Because he never told you the news before, he went down, jin is sent in to let you know what Jungkook was meant to tell you

• The thought of seeing your precious wife again after so long apart gives you the strength to really push through (pun intended) and deliver the baby

• Finally, you collapse back against the sweat-drenched paper sheet and listen to the sound of a gentle cry

• You had kept the gender a secret, figuring it didn’t really matter, it was 2018 dammit, but when the nurse announced that it was a beautiful baby boy, you and taehyung both started to cry tears of joy

• In a daze, you’re handed your son briefly, and then he’s taken away again to be cleaned off and weighed, and a nurse messes around down under and cleans you up too

• Eventually, you’re ready for visitors

• At this point, the labor took a long enough time that it’s now the early hours of the morning, just before 5am

• The boys file into the room, some more enthusiastically than others

• Namjoon and hoseok bound in, with jin, yoongi, jimin following cheerily behind

• Jungkook reluctantly slips in, eyes covered until you assure him, you’re all covered up

• Hobi holds your little boy first, crying fat tears directly onto his tiny face much to your amusement and the baby’s disgust

• You get to hold him properly next, and the members all come one by one to have a look at him as he gurgles happily and clenches his little fists

• Da won returns a couple of hours later and rushes in to hold her son, the two of you holding hands and watching your little boy with complete bliss on your faces

• Over the coming weeks, you’re back at your own place with da won, getting used to the full-time job of being a mother

• Of course, it’s not just the two of you

• Hobi asks permission to tell army that you and da won have had a child, on the condition that you never give any information about him being the sperm donor

• He just wants to show the world how cute that little guy is, and you both happily agree

• Only problem is, now army want as much content as possible of the guys playing with your son and being all domestic

• You can see why, they’re all naturals when it comes to most things

• Army dubs your son the bangtan baby, because just like namjoon told you, it was like they were all stepping up to be fathers to this kid

• Namjoon would spend three hours at a time in his studio discussing the finer details of your son’s life so far, and all the challenges and triumphs namjoon has had along the way

• Now that army know why he had that pregnancy book, they want to know from him what you being pregnant was like

• He’s only too happy to recount those 9 months for as long as his fans will listen

• Hoseok posts on twitter almost every day with photos of him taking selfies with your son, your son falling asleep on him, his tiny hand wrapped around hoseok’s pinky finger

• Even though he’ll probably never be able to tell the world that he’s technically a father now, he’ll show off to the world that he can be the best uncle there ever was

• When the cameras are off, however, he’s just as sweet

• He’d happily look after the baby for hours if you asked him to, he’s so patient, and if you weren’t gay as fuck, you’d totally get smitten over him as he makes faces to make your little boy laugh

• He likes to talk to him in baby voices and make sound effects as he bops him on the nose and pokes his soft cheeks

• Your heart soars to see how truly happy he is

• Seokjin doesn’t drop by that often, probably because he’s still pissed that the baby isn’t old enough to be fed actual food yet

• The few times he does accompany one of the boys to visit, he shows off his spoon airplane technique, saying that you need to let him know immediately when he can start filming special editions of Eatjin with him

• What can you say, seokjin has his priorities

• Taehyung spends a lot of time at your house in the evenings

• He’s obsessed with putting your boy to bed

• (he hasn’t worked out that newborns sleep like all day too, so he really doesn’t have to keep coming over at 6pm every day)

• Honestly, what baby can stay awake when they have kim taehyung singing them lullabies?

• He is the expert at sneaking away suuuper silently so that he doesn’t wake up and start crying

• You honestly think taehyung is just about ready to knock up a girl with the way he looks so soft and happy when he exits the nursery

• His guilty pleasure is sitting in the rocking chair and letting the baby fall asleep on his chest, so that he can gently pat his back or bottom and feel those tiny arms around his neck

• He has been known to convince da won to let the baby sleep with him in the spare room

• You walked in on him kissing his cheeks and rubbing his nose as he tickled your son’s tummy

• It was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, but it was half an hour past bedtime for your boy and you had to be stern momma, getting taehyung to put him down properly

• Jungkook is getting better with the baby

• He still will only come with one of his hyungs, but you can imagine once he’s old enough to start wanting to play with toys, he’ll really flourish

• He always brings presents around for the baby and for you two

• Whenever he sees baby clothes, he has the compulsion to buy them, and at this rate your son will have a bigger closet than you by the time he reaches one year old

• Yoongi doesn’t visit too often in the beginning but fans will not let him rest until he shoots a livestream with the baby

• In the end he films a review of his most recent album with your son snoring away in his arms, and army just about combust

• Every now and again he loses his train of thought and just stares into your son’s face for like a solid minute

• At one point, he wakes up and starts to cry, and yoongi, without missing a beat, lifts him up and starts bouncing him lightly, giving him a proper snuggle to calm him down

• He finally ends the live when he smells something suspicious and immediately hands the baby over to da won

• Finally, jimin

• Jimin takes on the role as the best dad in bangtan a little too seriously

• “everyone, I’ve just been to the store to buy Vaseline. When the mother breastfeeds, her nipples can crack and so you have to keep them moisturized…oh no, I don’t put it on myself, I’m just buying it for her…how do I know her nipples are- oh, I don’t know, I just thought I should buy some just in case! Being a parent is all about thinking ahead, you know? I’m trying to be proactive”

• “army, I’m whispering right now because this little guy is having a wee sleep, but as a father it’s important to have skin-to-skin contact to bond, so that’s why I’m not wearing a shirt right now…oh, you like it? Thank you, I think the baby likes it too”

• “jimin, put your fucking shirt back on”

• “y/n, please don’t swear in front of my son, you’re a terrible influence on him”

• “you’re not even the godfather, don’t be ridiculous”

• “everyone, often parents face adversity, but it’s important to stay strong and make sure your child is around only the best people. Swearing isn’t something I want my child to hear at his tender age”

• Literally, he’ll go on like this for hours

• New army genuinely assume you and him or da won and him are a couple and he’s the father

• It does mean that youtube channels that make fake-subtitle videos of him and the viewer have literally no work to do

• Jimin has no shame when it comes to acting like he’s the coolest dad in town, that he even asks you and da won to let him bring the baby to an award show so he can collect the main album of the year award with ‘his son’ with him

• Army go fucking wild when he shows up on the red carpet with an infant tucked into the crook of his arm

• Poor sejin has to lug around the massive bag with diapers and formula and spare clothes tho :(

• As your son grows up, he’s surrounded by nine of the most adoring people in the world

• You and da won make sure he’s a respectable young man

• Namjoon teaches him to be kind and grateful to everyone

• Hoseok would bend over backwards for him and your son most certainly knows and exploits this

• Jungkook always goes to his sports games when he’s in the area and cheers him on louder than any of the other actual parents

• Jin gives him flirting advice when he gets his first crush

• Taehyung and jimin are still determined to be the cool dads, and the three of them have formed a ritual of going to the park and having a picnic together at least once or twice a month

• and your child is the only person on the planet who can always crack a smile and get a hug from uncle yoongi

• you and da won couldn’t be happier, and you couldn’t be prouder

#bts headcanon #bts fic #bts fluff #bts scenario #bts x reader #bts au #jin #yoongi #hoseok #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jungkook

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movimblog · 5 years

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The audience for artists' moving image practices has grown extensively in recent years. Of course, the Internet has played a huge role in this. An ever-growing part of this audience is using the video-sharing platform Vimeo. This website was founded in 2004, just a year before YouTube, and since the beginning its peculiarity has been the support of high-definition videos. Compared to the Google-owned colossus, Vimeo represents a smaller presence on the Internet, the Alexa rank being 2 for YouTube and 131 for Vimeo.

For a lot of reasons which I won't discuss here, Vimeo is mostly used by professionals such as filmmakers, animators, motion graphic designers, but also by private companies and institutions, most notably the White House under the Obama administration. Artists working with moving image use Vimeo's services to upload their work, password-protect it and share it with festival programmers, curators and other professionals. They also publish teasers, trailers and excerpts of their works.

I can't tell you when (I wish I could), but out of this standard practice another quickly came: a lot of these artists started taking the password-protection off their works. By doing this, of course, the artists aim to reach a larger number of potential viewers. But this practice is linked to two common (and closely-related) film festival policies: in order to be considered for selection, the work submitted needs to be recent (with the limit usually being set as two years since its completion) and not publicly available online (that is, password-protected). For this reason, after their two-year festival tour, a lot of experimental films and videos were being set free from their passwords and released into the wild.

In this framework, one should also mention other interesting practices: when artists don't care about festivals and make their new works accessible to everyone, or when they finally publish their older works (sometimes remastered, sometimes never before released). There are also artists who come from the contemporary art world, whose works are represented and sold by galleries and shown in contexts other than those of film festivals. They too, for one reason or the other, are now playing the game of free online availability.

With an increasing number of interesting works made officially and freely available, a niche audience was born. One that is potentially growing—because the general interest in artists' moving image is visibly growing, but also because, within the demographics of artists' moving image fans, not everybody can easily attend festivals and visit galleries. Some live far from big cities, some can't move, some can't travel, some are still too young to travel. Not everyone has access to closed, selective online communities such as Karagarga. And I could go on with these examples for a while.

I recognise myself as part of that audience. As a fan, it's been a fascinating experience since I started paying attention to what was being made available online by the artists I liked. Between 2013 and 2014, I happily enjoyed the works of Portuguese artists João Maria Gusmão + Pedro Paiva both in physical exhibitions (at the Venice Biennale and at the IAC in Villeurbanne) and online through their Vimeo account, where one can watch a selection of digitised versions of their already iconic slow motion 16mm films.

In the winter of 2016, I was discovering the contemporary North-American scene. Through blogs, newsletters and social media, names like Robert Todd, Margaret Rorison, Stephen Broomer, Dan Browne and Mary Helena Clark were popping up and there they were with their accounts full of previous works available to watch. I remember sitting at my desk, watching Mary Helena Clark's astonishing Palms (which, at the time, was the most recent work she had made available in its entirety) and feeling lucky to get to see such revealing work. It felt like a gift.

Whether it be purely strategical or emotional, releasing a piece of work online can be the easiest or the toughest decision to make for an artist. It can be the result of (quite a few) compromises: selecting only a few pieces to release, making them available for a limited time only, going back to password-protection because of the renewed interest of festivals in a certain piece. For a distributed or gallery-represented artist, the choice can be quite difficult. After all, we have to consider that nineteen years of Web 2.0 have taught us to use and share online contents in ways that can clearly clash with the traditional sense of authorship. In the case of this niche, it has become common practice to hold public screenings of pieces found on video-sharing platforms without asking for permission from the author. Surprisingly, this happens in contexts where a wide range of authorship regulations should normally be acknowledged, including film studies classes and exhibitions (See the Abounaddara / Triennale di Milano case).

In the winter of 2016, I was thus looking for a way to give something in exchange, to contribute to such a thriving exhibition of works. My contribution ended up being the online project The Moving Image Catalog. At first I only created a Facebook page where I posted links to videos. It gradually became a curated selection of works that attempts to link artists, practices and themes, in the form of a website, with a sort of index that was going to be a perpetual work-in-progress, and various social media pages. That was my small contribution—that, and the daily romantic act of (always) barely scratching the surface of this huge collection of works.

Growing up in a small town in northern Italy in the early 2000s, with almost no galleries and only three cinemas that showed only dubbed films (one of them was torn down to build an expensive clothes shop), being interested in moving images meant having to rent DVDs and watch TV, notably the RAITRE channel. RAITRE had and still has an all-nighter film programme called FUORI ORARIO, where one can catch the latest Lav Diaz, or a De Oliveira film, or a segment from an amazing and mesmerizing film whose author you'll never know (because the programmers like the idea of not presenting the segments). As FUORI ORARIO shaped generations of film lovers, my emotional attachment to moving images was also shaped by these nightly encounters in front of a small screen and not in a traditional screening room. Today, while I do prefer galleries and screening rooms to TV and computer screens, I consider the act of watching moving image works on Vimeo to be a highly aesthetic and emotional experience.

About a year ago, I was checking the Vimeo account of an artist whose work I love and who is very popular today. Going to festivals and screenings, one gets to watch the films made by this artist. I was browsing this particular Vimeo account because the said artist's work was being gradually made available for free watching. Due to the prolific nature of this artist, I often visit this account. So, I was browsing, and I noticed a change. Placed between parentheses, a brief expression is now added at the end of each title:

(preview only*)

The asterisk directs the viewer to a disclaimer message which appears in the info section below the player. This disclaimer is addressed to professionals who intend to screen the films in public events (festivals, lectures, classes etc.). The artist asks them to contact the distributor. By doing so, the artist warns us that the Vimeo link should not be used as such for a screening. Again, the addition of the said disclaimer speaks volumes about the decisions involved for an artist when it comes to showing work online.

But let's adopt the perspective of a viewer, and not the practical purposes of the artist. Even if one understands that the disclaimer is intended for a specific category of viewers - those who use Vimeo to select works to be shown in public events - one's experience can be thoroughly modified by this indication. I consider that the sentimental experience I normally have when I watch artists' moving image works on Vimeo is not one that can be described as the “preview only” of another, possibly better, experience, such as the public projection.

Which brings me to a few questions I've been asking myself, and which I now would like to ask you:

Is there an emotional hierarchy in the aesthetic experience of watching moving images? Is this hierarchy genre-related? Should public screenings still be considered the only true experience?

Are we, as artists, paving the way towards acknowledging online audiences as audiences in their own right, and as important as the audience at public events? Or are we just riding the online wave in the sole hope of reaching more physical screening possibilities?

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eyesintheshadows · 5 years

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hi my name’s ruggy and this is the product of 6 real time years of the longest fucking slowburn ship i have ever done in my life @ironclawed

“William, William look at me—God, please, don't leave me... you'll be okay, just hang on, you'll be okay...”

A blood soaked hand shakily reaches up, pressing to Joe's face as tears trickle down his cheeks, and a gloved hand quickly wraps around it, leaning into the touch. There's blood, so much damn blood, and William can only cough up more as his body begins to fail him. The action has Joe holding him tighter, breath trembling.

“Please don't leave me alone..”

---

“Come with me.”

“To France?” The tone is skeptical, unintentionally; it's more shock than anything.

“Oui, why not? We are no longer needed here, and you never had the allegiances to the Assassins as I did, anyway.” William had given it a lot of thought, and still Joe was stunned.

He had never given any thought to doing anything other than filling contracts, working alongside William, and occasionally being able to simply relax with the Huntsman. Their relationship had blossomed, and a decade had passed since they had begun to work together. America's freedom had been won, and while the Assassins had continued fighting long after the Revolution had ended, the days of needing to keep that peace so vigilantly were dwindling. Many others had gone their own ways, according to William, and Joe had certainly taken notice. But he was a mercenary they contracted, so it had never really felt like his business to know, or care.

Except he did, because of the Huntsman.

---

The next week saw them boarding a ship, Joe lingering on the gangplank. A reassuring touch to his arm draws him out of his hesitation, and William offers him a smile that reminds the Night Stalker of why he fell so hard for William in the first place. The journey is long, and Joe can't exactly say he's fond of it; he'd forgotten how much he hated ships. But the journey is different from when he first came to America; he has William with him.

While they had gotten their own cabins (it was nice to have money, for these little luxuries), Joe often sneaks into William's and shares the small bunk with the Frenchman, the night more often than not finding the room filling with the rustling of blankets, stifled moans and soft gasps. Hands grip at anything they can, clawing at a back, the sheets, tangling in hair and curling around other hands for dear life, and by the time morning fills the room, it's to warm the exhausted bodies that cling to each other, arms wrapped around each other.

Disembarking is a strange experience; Joe watches William quietly as they step onto the busy port, and he gets the sense that William is conflicted. France was his home, yet he'd spent a good bit of his life away from it, while also having essentially forsaken his family lineage in favour of loving a man. That last bit of the thought is banished quickly from Joe's mind, before he can think it over too much, and nudges his lover lightly.

“We should find a place to stay, unless you...already had somewhere in mind?” He offers quietly, trying to bring William out of his own thoughts. He doubted returning to the de Saint-Prix estate was an option.

“Yes, you're right. My family has a small villa that we used to stay in during the summer, mostly for my Assassin training,” William sounds thoughtful, yet still very distant. Joe watches him for a few heartbeats, before flagging down a carriage, and letting William fall into his natural state when the driver speaks French. Joe spends most of the trip peering out the window, simply watching the streets turn into countryside, when William speaks up to thank the driver.

It wasn't that he didn't know French; he just didn't feel comfortable speaking it, because he knew he had no accent. William had been far too aware of this; he'd tried not to laugh the few times Joe had tried to be romantic and say some loving affectation in French, only to gently correct the Night Stalker, and instead fluster him. But the meaning behind those attempts were what meant the most to William.

The villa is larger than anything Joe was used to, and for the first few weeks, he struggles to settle in. “There's too many damn rooms, what the hell do you need all this space for?!” The shout echoes, and William has to stifle his laugh, watching the taller man move from room to room in frustration.

“You left your coat upstairs, in the third room on the left.”

“I hate you.”

That finally draws a laugh from William, Joe disappearing up the stairs and shouting his annoyance once he finds the aforementioned room.

---

“I thought you said you were done with the Assassins,” Joe frowns, watching as William unfolds a fancy letter one night, the fire flickering brightly and warming the room. It was October, and they'd lived together for four months, every bit the married couple that they wanted to be, yet knew they publicly couldn't be.

“It is not simply an occasional hobby I can choose to pick up or put down, Joe, I have an obligation to the Parisian Brotherhood as much as I did the American Brotherhood. It was they who sent me to the colonies, in the first place,” William replies curtly, despite knowing it would only draw Joe's ire. And indeed, he feels the glare, but cannot feel the concern Joe does.

“Why should they need you?”

“Joe--”

“You already fought through one revolution, why is this one your problem?!” Joe's voice wavers, and he sits down, rubbing his hands over his face. William waits for him to calm down before answering.

“Joe, America's revolution was not my fight. I am not American, yet I still aided when I was needed. France is my home, and I feel a responsibility to see this one through.” He decides not to mention that he's not particularly thrilled at being called back to duty, either, but the way Joe sags in the chair pains him.

“Then let me fight beside you. It's not my fight, but I want to be with you.”

“Non.”

“William!”

“I do not think you understand, Joe, customs here are vastly different from what you're used to! I am still looked at as part of a noble family, and expected to marry and have children, or at the very least have children. These are not things I can do, being with you, and I am more than okay with that. I've made my peace about it, but American customs do not have noble families arranging marriages for one another. I still have an image to uphold, despite having been gone for so long.”

Joe stills, feeling like a red-hot dagger had pierced his heart, and William's expression changes in a flash when he realises what he'd said. “Joe, that's not what I meant--”

“I know.” It hurts, but he knows William would have never tried to hurt him. He knows that William is still expected to keep a clean reputation for his family name, but he can't stop the sting of knowing that he'd ruined William's life. It felt like that night on the docks all those months ago, when he'd had doubts. He was free to love William as much as he desired, because he had no family, had no title, nothing to uphold. But William was risking everything simply by keeping Joe as company. He could never acknowledge their relationship publicly, and they could never be more than simply partners in various terms of the word.

William gets up, kneeling in front of Joe's chair and taking his hands into his own, meeting Joe's gaze. “Do not ever doubt my affections for you, Joe. They have never wavered, I have never regretted my decision to love you, and nor will I ever. But I think you sometimes forget that we come from two vastly different worlds, and need to be reminded.”

Silence lingers on Joe's end for a long while, and William's afraid that he's already broken their relationship irreparably, before the Night Stalker speaks. “I know.” It's not reassuring, but Joe leans down to kiss him softly, a kiss William happily reciprocates. Joe presses their foreheads together, sighing softly against his lips. “I wish things could be different for us.”

---

William's work for the Parisian Assassins leaves Joe to his own devices most nights, and while they come to an agreement that Joe can tag along, he also has to remain some distance back. He becomes like William's shadow, and while it's difficult and unnatural at first, they fall into a rhythm that works.

A small box waits for William when he returns home, two years into their living in France, and William picks it up in confusion, opening it slowly. A simple gold band sits inside, and Joe watches with his breath held as William picks it up, unable to fathom the implication.

At first, Joe's afraid he hates it. He opens his mouth to try and justify the decision, before William slips the ring onto a small chain, fastening the chain around his neck. He closes a hand around the ring, Joe closing his mouth as he does, and he doesn't remember a time when William looked so full of varying emotion, all positive. His own ring rested around his finger, yet another instance of him knowing that he could get away with wearing it in public, but also knowing that it would remain hidden whenever he needed it to, simply because of the fact he wore gloves and William did not.

Later that night, William curls into his side as Joe wraps his arms around the Huntsman, before William holds the ring again, closing his eyes happily. “It will always be close to my heart, just as you are, mon ami.”

“God, you're disgustingly sappy.”

“Says the one who bought us wedding rings.”

“I'm trying to catch up to your sappiness, there's a difference.”

William chuckles, Joe kissing his head before pulling the blankets closer, closing his eyes. The next two years are blissful with the weight of the rings on their bodies, and for all the world, they truly do feel united.

---

Nothing is unusual until William leaves for his contract mission one night, a simple recon. Joe tagged along, hovering nearby as they crouch on a rooftop, chatting idly to pass the time. It's spring, and the crowds take longer to die out as the cold of winter is chased away, leaving them plenty of time to simply relax.

Two hours pass until William reacts, and Joe lingers, staying back a rooftop. It's only when he sees a glint in the corner of his eye that he realises someone had anticipated William's arrival, and he turns a moment too late, the gun firing. The bullet whizzes by him and finds its target, and time feels like it's slowing as Joe turns back to see William recoil, hand clutching at the entry wound. He stumbles a few steps, body crumpling and causing him to fall from the rooftop, the sight drawing a horrified shout from Joe.

He races forward, disregarding his own safety as he drops from the rooftop, knees falling to the ground beside William's body. His hands tremble, afraid of touching William but resolving to pull him up gingerly, cradling him as William gasps for air. There's no exit wound, and the dark stains that grow steadily across William's chest, coupled with the faint rattling every time he breathes, tells Joe exactly what he doesn't want to know. His lung had been punctured, and the bullet was still lodged in his chest.

His scarf is yanked down, hanging loosely beneath his chin as a shaking hand presses lightly over the wound, as if that could stifle the flow of blood. His eyes begin to sting, and it takes Joe a moment to realise that tears are burning them, escaping down his face and plipping onto the ground.

“Stay with me, just hold on... I'll get you to a doctor, they'll fix you up.” He knows it's a lie, but he can't bear to think about the painful reality. William, on the other hand, has already accepted his fate. Blood trickles from his mouth, and Joe lets out a weak sob, shaking his head. “Don't do this, please hold on...”

“I'm glad... we had the time together...that we did. Being with you was... the best thing that ever happened,” William struggles to speak, but he forces himself to get the words out, and Joe only lets out another sob.

“William, William look at me—God, please, don't leave me... you'll be okay, just hang on, you'll be okay...”

“Please don't leave me alone..”

William's hand falls from his cheek the second Joe's own hand releases it, and shock freezes the Night Stalker to the core, eyes widening. It takes a few moments for him to register the Huntsman's still form, hand pressing to his chest and frantically searching for the thump of a heart beat, finding nothing.

“William. William, wake up. Don't you fucking do this to me, open your eyes, you fucking bastard..!” His voice breaks, tears dripping onto the man's face as Joe sobs, curling over William's body. His sobs turn to mournful screams, the night echoing with his agony, and when the sun rises, it looks for all the world like he'd become a corpse as well, holding onto his lover's body tightly when his sobs had finally fallen silent.

#ironclawed #otp brokeback losers

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thecorpulentbeagle · 6 years

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Okujima Week 2019: Soft/Fluff

Another Persona 5 fanfiction challenge!

This challenge features a very specific pairing: Makoto x Haru or Okujima if you want to know their ship name. If you read my last challenge fanfiction which included pairings for all of the (human) Phantom Thieves, you’ll remember that I mentioned Okujima was my OTP for Persona 5. So, when this challenge appeared on Tumblr a few months later, I knew I had to participate!

For this challenge, the author or artist must post their work during the week of January 21 – January 27, with a different prompt each day. Go and search #okujima week if you are curious and want to see other works – I know I will be doing that!

The first day is soft/fluff, so that is what today’s story is all about! In addition, all of my stories will be one-shots, and will be romantic in nature. The challenge doesn’t specifically say it has to be, but that was the implication I received, so I’m going with that!

Here is the fanfiction.net link if you prefer to read it there. I will be posting my one-shots on both sites for the duration of this challenge.

Please enjoy this first part of the Okujima Week 2019 Challenge!

Okujima Week 2019 Challenge:

Lives Shared:

Soft/Fluff

-Haru-

“Hey… Haru?”

Said girl turned at the sound of the timid voice behind her. Classes had just ended, and Haru had been packing up her things at her desk to leave. Her plan was to check up on her plants on the rooftop, and then she was going to go home. Even though the Phantom Thieves had disbanded several months prior, Haru found that her days were still just as busy as ever, having to contend with both schoolwork and helping to run her father’s company. But today, she had no such plans, so she was going to use this free day to catch up on other things, chief among them getting a good night’s rest.

It appeared as though that would have to be put on hold, though, as she turned to look at the person who had spoken to her. Her best friend and girlfriend of several months Makoto Niijima was standing there, her expression somewhat nervous. It was unusual to see the usually confident and collected student council president this way. Haru briefly wondered what was wrong.

“Mako-chan! What a pleasant surprise. Is something the matter?” Haru inquired, tilting her head to one side.

Haru’s curiosity was piqued further as Makoto answered her with a stutter. “O-of course not! I… was wondering if you’d like to spend some time together. If you’re free, that is,” she added.

Haru smiled. Makoto was always so kind and considerate of others, even if she wasn’t always sure how to express that concern. “Definitely! I was going to check on the plants, but I think they’ll be fine for one day.”

Makoto blinked. “Really? I don’t want to prevent you from taking proper care of them.”

The gardener giggled. “It’s no trouble at all, Mako-chan. I always check on them at lunch anyway, so I don’t necessarily need to look at them now.” Makoto opened her mouth, seemingly wanting to insist that she had changed her mind, but Haru beat her to it. “You’re not inconveniencing me, Mako-chan. It’s always a pleasure to spend time with you.” She smiled warmly.

Makoto closed her mouth, blushing slightly. “How did you know that’s what I was going to say?”

“Well, we have been dating for months. I’d be more surprised if I didn’t know by now!” She picked up her school bag.

Makoto chuckled. “That’s a very good point. I’d like to say I have the same perspective in regards to you, but sometimes, I’m not so sure.”

Haru glanced around. She saw that at this point, everyone else had left the classroom. While she enjoyed spending time with her girlfriend, she knew that being around the student council president made many other students uneasy, so they tended to disperse more often than not when she was in a room. Even though she had noticeably softened after becoming a Phantom Thief, she did still exude an air of strict adherence to the rules.

Since everyone was gone, Haru decided to display some affection towards Makoto. The other girl was nervous about doing that publicly, but Haru knew that she appreciated being cared for. Stepping closer, she gave a quick peck on the girl’s lips, smiling as Makoto’s eyes went wide. “How do you think I’m feeling now?”

Makoto cleared her throat, her eyes darting around the classroom to see if anyone else had seen. Her features noticeably relaxed as she came to the same realization that Haru had. She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl and squeezed. “I would hazard a guess to say affectionate and content.” She gave Haru a quick kiss to the side of her head. “Am I close?”

Haru nodded, blushing at how bold Makoto was being at school. “Spot on.”

The two stood there for a moment, Haru sighing happily. Makoto was soft yet sturdy, and she was always there for Haru to lean on, both literally and metaphorically.

“So!” Makoto pulled away from the embrace and took a step back. Haru moved away a bit as well, a little dejected that the quiet moment between them had passed. “Let’s go. I was thinking we could go back to my place.”

Haru grinned. She knew what the other meant, but she decided to tease her about it anyway. “Mako-chan! You’re so forward. I know we’ve been dating for a while, but I didn’t know we were at that stage already.”

Haru watched as Makoto’s face instantly went red. It was almost comical how quickly the blush on her face appeared. “N-not in that way! I-I mean, you’ve been over before, and nothing like that’s happened. I mean, not that nothing happens, but –!”

“Mako-chan.” Haru placed a hand on the other girl’s face. “I’m only teasing.”

The student council president sighed. “That was cruel, you know.”

“I know.” Haru giggled, patting her face before pulling back.

“Anyway. Let’s go.” She stepped back and gestured towards the door. “After you.”

Haru nodded at her as she walked out, with Makoto following closely behind.

The two seniors made their way to the subway station, Haru telling Makoto about her day. The other girl nodded and talked about her day as well, and the before the two knew it, they had ridden the subway and were in front of the Niijima apartment building.

“Here we are.” Haru scurried up to the door, pulling it and holding it open for the other girl.

“Shouldn’t I be doing this for you? This is where I live, after all.” Makoto shook her head as she passed, entering the building,

“Perhaps, but I wanted to make up for earlier. For teasing you,” Haru clarified at Makoto’s confused expression. The shorter girl walked inside as well, letting the door swing shut behind them.

“I see. Thank you, then.” Makoto ghosted a hand across Haru’s cheek and smiled at her. Haru returned the smile just as warmly.

The two made their way up the stairs, forgoing the elevator in favor of fitting in some exercise.

A few minutes later, the two arrived at the door to the Niijima apartment, with Haru waiting patiently for Makoto to unlock it.

The other girl reached into her bag, taking out her key. She lifted it to the lock before suddenly turning her head back towards her bag.

“Is something the matter?” Haru asked, watching as Makoto used her free hand to extract her cell phone.

Makoto looked up at her, her warm smile dispelling any worry that Haru had been feeling. “Not at all. Just Sis asking me about something.” She handed Haru the key. “Would you mind unlocking the apartment for me?”

Haru nodded, her hand touching Makoto’s slightly as she took hold of the key. “Of course.” She turned to unlock the door, seeing Makoto texting her sister out of the corner of her eye.

The door unlocked with a “click”, and Haru opened it, walking in and waiting for her girlfriend to follow.

Makoto looked up, nodding at her. She slipped her cell phone back into her bag and stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

Haru handed the key back to the other girl. “Here you go, Mako-chan.”

To her surprise, her hand was pushed back. “That’s okay, Haru. You should hold onto it.” Haru looked at the other girl to see her still smiling warmly at her.

“I see?” Haru was confused. “I guess I can hold onto it until I leave.” She went to place it into her bag, when her hand was suddenly grasped by Makoto’s. Now Haru was definitely confused. “Do you want it back after all?”

Makoto was blushing. “Um… Haru. I was thinking you could hold onto that key… for the foreseeable future.” Apparently still sensing her girlfriend’s confusion, Makoto used her free hand to dig back into her bag, pulling out a Buchimaru-kun lanyard. Attached to it was a key, and it looked similar to the one in Haru’s own hand.

And that’s when it hit her. Makoto had her own key, and now that Haru looked more closely at the one she was holding, it did look relatively new. Which meant…

Haru gasped, realizing what was happening. “Mako-chan…”

Makoto smiled. “Haru. We’ve been dating for a while now, and I really care about you. I… trust you completely, and I wanted to show you that.” She squeezed Haru’s hand. “You’ve been there for me ever since you became a Phantom Thief, and… I know that I’m not always the best at expressing my feelings, or picking up on your flirtations, but I do truly appreciate everything that you do for me.”

Suddenly, the girl looked down, a flush on her face. “If… you’re not comfortable with this, or think I’m moving too quickly, please let me know. I… I’ve never dated anyone before, so I’m not sure if this is the correct protocol.”

Haru didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Her heart was fit to burst with happiness, and she was so overcome with emotion that she could not physically form words. She knew that Makoto was definitely the type to take her time with a relationship, and so far, Haru herself had been the one to advance it most of the time. But for Makoto to do something like this… and in such a Makoto-like way…

It seemed that Makoto took her girlfriend’s silence as an uncomfortable one. “I-I mean… you are over here several days a week anyway, so I didn’t think it was too big of a deal…” She looked back up. “I was thinking that… once I move out and find my own place, and you do something similar, we could… maybe get our own place. Together.” She chuckled nervously. “But for now, I figured having you be able to visit whenever you would like would be the next-best thing.”

Haru smiled, her eyes watery. “Mako-chan…”

The student council president returned her smile. “Good. I’m glad I didn’t upset you –” She couldn’t finish her sentence as Haru flung her arms around her, squeezing with all her might. “H-Haru?”

Finally, Haru found a voice to her feelings. “I’m so happy about this! Really, Mako-chan!” She moved her head back to be able to kiss the other girl, who made a surprised sound but returned the gesture nonetheless. Pulling back, she murmured, “I… I’ve always loved how earnest you are, and how you take everything so seriously. It lets me know… that you really care.” She held up her key. “And this… is really the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received. I knew that you cared… but I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised to see just how much you care.”

Makoto smiled. “Thank you, Haru.” She hugged the girl, moving her head to her shoulder. “I never thought I would feel this deeply about another person, but your kindness and gentle disposition won me over.” She leaned back in Haru’s embrace, looking deeply into her eyes. “It’s truly my honor to give this to you.”

The two smiled at each other for a little longer, enjoying the new step forward in their relationship. It pleased Haru to no end that Makoto trusted her deeply enough to share her living space with her. As Haru had just said, the other girl was serious, and that meant that she took every precaution before making a decision. So, the fact that the other girl had thought long and hard before ultimately coming to this decision made Haru’s heart swell with affection and pride for being able to make the girl she cared for so… content.

Speaking of which, though this was Makoto’s lodging, it wasn’t exactly hers alone. “Mako-chan?” Haru asked, rubbing her hands up and down the other girl’s back.

“Yes?”

“Did you… talk this over with your sister? Is she okay with me having access to your apartment?”

Makoto chuckled. “I did. She was completely on board with the idea. She said that you’re the only reason any of our houseplants are still alive.”

Haru giggled. “That sounds like something Sae-san would say. But I’m surprised. She seems like a private person. Even if I’m her sister’s girlfriend, it seems odd that she would accept this so easily.”

“You really know the both of us too well.” Makoto shook her head. “I actually talked about this decision extensively with her, and she didn’t accept it right away. It wasn’t until she asked me a question, and I answered it, that she felt that I had to do this.”

Haru’s heart beat a little bit faster. “What was the question?”

Makoto smiled. “Would you trust her with your life?”

Haru raised her eyebrows. “That seems a little dramatic for this type of situation.”

“Well, if you think about it, not really.” Makoto chuckled. “Technically, you could enter the apartment and kill either one of us if you wanted to.”

Haru blanched. “What a horrible thought! I’m surprised your sister would even think of that.”

The other girl shook her head. “I don’t think she really thought it. But she wanted to see how serious I was about you.”

“I see. And… how did you respond?” Haru’s heart continued to pound, curious as to how Makoto would answer that would make her sister completely comfortable with her decision.

“Of course I would. She’s already saved it several times.” Makoto tilted her head. “I thought it was obvious, really. Our times in the Metaverse made us all depend on each other.”

Haru smiled. “Mako-chan…”

Makoto smiled back. “It’s the truth. And… I trust that you feel the same?”

Haru nodded. “Of course, Mako-chan. After all, you did plenty of saving yourself.” She raised the key that now held so much meaning, and gave it a quick kiss.

She laughed when Makoto did the same.

First one down. Hopefully that was soft and/or fluffy enough for you. I feel like Haru is just the literal embodiment of fluff, so it’s not too hard to write a story about it. Add Makoto being a blushing mess, and you’ve got yourself a cute story. Plus, it’s kinda like domestic fluff since Makoto is sharing access to her living space with her girlfriend.

See you tomorrow!

#okujima #okujima week #okujima week 2019 #makoto niijima #haru okumura #makoto x haru #haru x makoto #p5 #persona 5

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shark-myths · 7 years

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Folie A Deux

I promised to write FAD meta like, forever ago. It took longer than I planned. Here it is, at last.

Folie is anthemic, artistic; it’s cynicism and heartbreak all layered up in failing hope. It’s Pete saying goodbye to his band and embarking on a new life as a husband and a father. It’s Patrick finding his confidence as a showman just in time for it to turn to ash on his tongue and prompt him to remake himself utterly. It’s Joe finally feeling like he has a role in FOB and creative ownership of his own band. It’s Andy, um, drumming. Super well. Without any particular emotional interpretation on my part because Andy’s, you know, pretty content to just play with his friends.

Without further blathering, allow me to present, at long last: a rambling, tear-filled, official Tryst Theory ™ interpretation of FOB’s fourth-and-almost-final studio album.

I am always struck most by the quality of obstruction in the albums produced during the Commercial Success/’Sell Out’ era. Pete begins obscuring himself for the first time during Infinity on High and especially Folie A Deux: the lyrics become increasingly senseless, more about cleverness and sound that saying things plainly. But he’s so honest during this era too. He tells us exactly what it feels like to be him, to be so pulled apart and scrutinized and sad, to be sick on his own hope. To be sick and fuzzy, made of stuffing, and far away on way-too-many anxiety meds. We get lines that don’t make much sense on the surface, like ‘I’m not a chance, put a heat wave in your pants,’ and we get the self-aware aggression of bops like I Don’t Care.

In the previous era, Pete didn’t really know what it meant, yet—being Pete Wentz. Being so public. Being the face of the band, being the bad guy and the heel. What it would cost. Now he understands that anything he touches, or looks at, or says at loud is going to change. Once he does it, says it, thinks it, feels it, it’s out of his control. It’s owned by someone else. Even his private body, his private phone. Even his decision to defend his friend from an aggressive bouncer onstage. The brand of phone he carries, the girls he texts, who he stands next to in photos, the cities where he plays shows and the cities he does not. Now he understands that his life is not his, but something the public will use to hurt him if we get bored. This is drugstore cowboy Pete. This is a Pete grown so heavy under the weight of his own misery and bullshit that he can barely go on. This is a Pete preparing to say goodbye.

Which is a long way of saying: Folie A Deux fucks me up.

A little history (sourced heavily from Wikipedia):

The album was recorded from July-September 2008, beginning two months after Pete and Ashlee were married, and released in December 2008, shortly after Bronx was born. They started recording ahead of schedule, without telling the label, and deliberately limited their studio time. They wanted to recapture what they had felt during Grave, when they were racing against their drained back accounts to get the album set down. They wanted that simplicity and rawness, the feeling of being mixed-up kids half living out of a van and making music that felt vibrant and essential. Patrick told AP, “There was something really interesting about that creative process when we were starting out. The more time you have, the more potential you have for excess.” (He thought he dominated Infinity and wanted to pare himself back, reign himself in, for Folir.) They tried to emulate the process and feeling of Grave as much as possible: “first-thought, best-thought.” Joe pushed to be included more in collaboration and felt like he “owned the songs a lot more. It made me really excited about contributing to Fall Out Boy and made me find my role in the band.” Pete made an effort (this is him making an effort, okay) to keep his personal life more sequestered from the writing and use more metaphor and the conceit characters speaking lines, more like a stage musical. And, perhaps true to the feeling of Grave, Pete and Patrick fought painfully and violently over the record. It was personal and artistic for everyone. They felt it was their best work.

Fans tore them apart, of course. Booing anytime they played anything off the new record. The album undersold and public reception did not match the glowing critical reviews. They tried to say something important, to talk about society and convey real messages in their music. They were publicly rebuffed. Joe told Rolling Stone, “Some of us were miserable on stage. Others were just drunk.” The reception, the struggle, cemented what Pete had already decided to do: leave the band.

(Let’s not talk about the last song of what he thought would be their last show ever during which, instead of playing Saturday with his best friends and his me-and-Pat, he had the man who named the band in the first place shave off his signature Pete Wentz hair in a symbolic ritual of fucking morning, let’s not let’s not)

(but in case you want to)

A little cover art:

I just want you to know that Pete Wentz has the original painting of that cover in his home. IN CASE YOU THINK THAT’S RELEVANT.

This image. With Pete’s furry history. With the costumes and feeling like a zoo animal and playing the role of the heel, with the way he said in the Folie Making Of video that being perceived in media is “like wearing a costume, you’re not who you are.” With his interest especially in bears, the talk of stitches and stuffing and seams, with the Lullabye track and ‘honey is for bees silly bear’ (and Black Cards’ ‘you’re my best friend, honeycomb head’) and the whole Winnie the Pooh vibe. With the devoted companionship and singular love exhibited by Winnie the Pooh and the way he turns back into inert, lifeless stuffing when you grow too old and you forget what he really is and see him as just a toy, empty and pliable, and the way only childhood wonder and innocence can return him to life. How the cover has not just one person on it, but a bear-boy plus one: a madness shared by two. A real bear, and someone who’s just pretending, or just trying to be. What a match, what a catch.

WHAT A PETERICK MASTERPIECE THIS FUCKING ALBUM IS

The liner notes are empty, by the way. For the physical CD. The liner notes are just pictures and names of band members, then production information and thanks to ‘fans, friends, and loves.’ Nothing else. No lyrics. No record. If that’s not foreshadowing—

And now said masterpiece itself:

1. Disloyal Order of the Water Buffaloes

Okay, so let’s take a step back and imagine for a second the decision-making process that went into writing a magnum fucking opus Peterick anthem to open the album with. Are we all on the same page here? WHAT THE FUCK, were they TRYING to kill me

This album is the fucking Holy Grail of the drug use = Patrick metaphor, and we dive right into it with this one. Boycott love. Detox just to retox. DRAW YOUR OWN HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T PARALLELS. #trysttheory

For all that Pete tried to move away from autobiographical lyrics on this album, his view of himself is plain in this song: ‘perfect boys with their perfect lives, no one wants to hear you sing about tragedy.’

The line ‘fell out of bed, butterfly bandage, but don’t worry’ brings up my theories about what dreams mean. Falling out of bed and getting hurt is a clear consequence of dreaming so hard you forgot it was just a dream (or trysting with your best friend and forgetting there could be consequences, real people you can hurt and yourself included). ‘You’ll never remember, your head is far too blurry’ ties into w.a.m.s as well as Cooperstown and the idea of being blurry-headed, impaired because you’re fucked up on love or some other drug, and making choices you’d regret, if you could remember them. Making mistakes you’ll have to live with whether you remember them or not.

(Romantically speaking, water buffaloes are disloyal: Google suggests a single male water buffalo can sire as many as 100 baby buffs in a single mating season. It seems pretty obvious throughout this album that issues of infidelity were large in Pete’s mind while writing these lyrics.)

2. I Don’t Care

This song makes me think of Wilson (Expensive Mistakes) so much. Starting over again in Mexico, friends who don’t care about you, the blues-pop bounce to it and repeating riff? Sonically, they have a lot in common.

Pete may be playing on his previous reference to Closer (‘he tastes like you only sweeter’) with the opening line here—‘say my name and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same’—which is the saddest and most painful movie about heterosexuals you will ever watch, but writing that line and putting it on Patrick’s tongue? That may be the gayest thing that happens to me all night, guys, and I’m a queer girl with a bottle of wine and a long, long Friday evening ahead of me.

This song is so much a conversation Pete is having with the world about his fame and notoriety, imo. He calls it a narcissist’s anthem but I don’t think that’s it, exactly. I think—and the music video backs me up on this—it’s a coy wink at their own reputation, all the shit people are slinging about them and Pete specifically. We get a drug reference here, too: ‘take a chance, let your body get a tolerance.’

Also, Patrick is a nun in the video. Pete put Patrick in a literal fucking habit. What more do you need to me to say to prove definitely that Pete is desperately in love with him? This. Kid. In. A. Nun’s. Habit.

3. She’s My Winona

IF THIS SONG ISN’T A DISCUSSION OF HOW PETE HAD TO REVISE HIS PETERICK AMBITIONS WHEN HE FOUND OUT ASHLEE WAS PREGNANT

(There are so many suicide references in this song I want to join Pete and the band’s manager in cheering and celebrating all over again that our boy lived to 28. You can physically feel him resigning himself to living a long life in these verses.)

‘Hell or glory, I don’t want anything in between.’ I take this line as pretty directly about him and Patrick: he doesn’t care if they go to hell and it ruins the band, he wants to take the risk, because he thinks together they could be—glory. He wants to roll the dice. (Take a chance—I’m not a chance.) And ‘then came a baby boy with long eyelashes, and daddy said “you gotta show the world the thunder.”’ In other words, he wanted hell or glory, ruination or Patrick, but then along came his son. And his priorities changed. Of course they did. True love is one thing; raising your child is another.

‘We had a good run, even I have to admit.’

(And—here’s the thing—people ask me sometimes, what I think about Pete marrying Ashlee. “Do you think he married her just because it was the right thing to do?” No. I think he believed in love and family and forever. I think Pete believed it would work. I think he wanted it to. I think that’s why the trysting, and eventually the band, stopped: because Pete tried his fucking best. I think he loved her and loved the idea of a future for himself—the first time he’s ever really imagined that. The idea of somewhere to belong, a real family, one that he felt part of. I think he wanted more than anything for it to work precisely because it was so different from what he, or anyone else, ever expected for him. He said ‘I want to marry this girl’ and he meant it. He really did intend to love her forever, as best he could, and not love anyone else if he could help it.

But those aren’t good reasons to build a whole relationship on, a marriage on. And he was a mess, and in love with Patrick too, and hated and famous and fucked. He had no privacy, limited emotional maturity, a burgeoning substance problem and no sense of himself that wasn’t dependent on what the culture and the media and his fans and his friends reflected back to him and said was true. There was no way they could be happy together under those circumstances, and he’d have stayed forever anyway, I think. His interviews about that time—when he stopped shaving, then stopped showering; when he was a drugstore cowboy stay-at-home dad, depressed and giving up—he doesn’t blame Ashlee for wanting to leave. He hated himself enough to be miserable forever, but she didn’t. So of course it fell apart.)

4. America’s Suitehearts

This commercial headfuck of a song. Jerry christ, guys, someone throw me an anchor so I can drown myself. This caricature, the monstrosity and performance of celebrity, the way the band is reduced to wrestling alter egos, painted and pretend. No one’s being subtle with this song, this video. They are showing us exactly what they mean.

‘I must confess, I’m in love with my own sins.’

DO YOU MEAN LIKE BEING IN GAY LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND

DO YOU MEAN THAT SIN?

And this verse, though ostensibly about the vagaries of fame, sounds so much like him falling in love with Patrick while Patrick is oblivious:

‘You can bow and pretend you don’t know you’re a legend. Time just hasn’t told anyone else yet. I’m sorry, I just let my love loose again.’

For so many years, Pete believed his love was something he had to apologize for. 😭 😭 😭 😭

5. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet

Okay, fuck this, I’m done

This fucking

This

UGH

Remember the paternity rumors at the time of Ashlee’s pregnancy? Look at this whole complicated, tangled-up song about infidelity and paternity and the idea of Ashlee cheating while Pete’s cheating too. ‘Keep a calendar, this way you will always know’ [who impregnated you]. ‘I will never end up like him. behind my back, I already am.’ I literally cannot

‘Does he know the way I worship our love’

6. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

do I even need to keep writing this or is the album now, itself, independently writing the tryst theory

my notes for this song just say ‘come the fuck on’

This song is about: living in LA and missing Chicago (and what it felt like in Chicago, who you were and who you were with); taking accountability for your own actions even when it does not satisfy your hedonistic urges (e.g., marrying your pregnant girlfriend and breaking off your illicit love affair with Patrick Stump), trying to remake your identity and change yourself like those are the same thing and you can get a new heart as easily as a new name; losing your luck and breaking up (‘tell that boy I’ll leave you alone now, like a stove, I’ll turn my love down); horseshoe crabs; and of course, that good ol’ famous-in-the-closet feel:

‘I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs, but I’m afraid that someone else will hear me.’

7. Coffee’s For Closers

I’m just crying by now I can’t type anymore

He’s using this whole album to break up with Patrick, to explain, to say goodbye

‘I want everything to change and stay the same. Time doesn’t care about anyone or anything. Come together, come apart.’

‘We will never believe again’

And: ‘kick drum beating in my chest again’ and that feeling, the one we’ve all felt in the pit at any show, any good one with that golden-vibe in the air, the one that makes your heart feel connected to the hearts of everyone around you, like you could be lifted on light and floating around the room, like the love is pouring out of you and rising like heat and linking up to the network of love flowing into and out of everyone else, when you feel it and know they do too and your whole body vibrates with the impossible imperceptible hum of your very atoms, your constituent fucking molecules lit up and stitched together by this, this, this. The feeling like you don’t need lungs because singing in breath and bellows enough, the feeling like the only reason you ever had a heart was so the drummer could pump it with their sticks. ‘Preach electric to the microphone stand,’ Patrick the conductor, Patrick the evangelist, Patrick the gospel of his fucking love. Pete’s saying goodbye to that feeling. Pete knows, he knows already, what he is planning to do.

Pete’s lying. Pete’s saying ‘I love the mayhem more than the love’ like all he’s really been out to do is make a mess, break hearts, take names. Like he is no more and no less than what all the tabloids say about him. (Never watch the Fresh Only Bakery videos on youtube. They are boring, for one, and also the saddest fucking Pete you will ever see.) Pete’s saying ‘I will never believe in anything again’ and he’s making Patrick say it too, because true-blue love was supposed to last forever, and then Pete got married to someone else.

‘Oh, change will come.’

8. What A Catch, Donnie

NO. NO

how the fuck dare this song even exist

So this is it. This is the goodbye. Pete has talked about how he wrote this song from Patrick’s perspective, and he recruited some of Patrick’s favorite artists and friends of the band to sing different lines in a medley of the band’s hits up to this point. This is like, the FOB song equivalent of a suicide note. (To follow this with a greatest hits album—! G O D)

The reference to Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway—their collaboration, his ultimate suicide, and the way Miss Flack looked on all his destruction and said ‘I still want you back’ is absolutely a testament to the way Patrick, and the rest of the band, forgave him and took him back in after the notorious Best Buy Incident. The gratitude for the whole band and what the band has done for Pete is tied up in this song. ‘You’ll never catch us’ smacks of trysting, and there’s something to the line ‘I’m the one who charmed the one who gave up on you,’ as the speaker in the sentence in meant to be Patrick and the ‘you’ is presumed to be Pete.

‘They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends, will God go down with it?’ is both Pete’s intention to go down with the band (which he’s planning to sink, or sees unraveling already in the painful writing process—we don’t know at what point he made his decision to destroy yet another thing he loved in penance for some deep, unknowable conviction of sin) and his gesture of setting them free. The Video of Which We Will Not Speak shows this pretty clearly. Pete saves everyone and everything he’s ever loved at the bargain price of drowning himself. He does it without ever even appearing in the aired version of the video. *broken sobbing*

(The links for the full version are not currently on Youtube, but you can read about it here: http://www.mtv.com/news/1618609/fall-out-boy-release-wrong-version-of-what-a-catch-donnie-video/)

What a match, what a catch. If I say anything else about this song, and how basically everyone who heard it knew it meant the band was going to break up, I will absolutely fall apart

9. 27

OH GOOD A SONG I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH WITHOUT CHOKING ON MY OWN TEARS

NOT

So here’s a lovely little ditty about how Pete Wentz did not kill himself and die at age 27 as he always thought he would! Hahahahahaha I’m fine it’s fine I’m so glad this album exists I’m so glad I’m TALKING ABOUT IT

‘If home is where the heart is, then we’re all just fucked.’ All three of them: Pete, Patrick, and Ashlee. And every FOB fan out there. Ahahaha. GUYS I’M NOT OKAY

We’ve got Peterick drug metaphors to rival the punch of Hold Me Tight Or Don’t: ‘I want it so bad, I’d shoot the sunshine into my veins… Doing lines of dust and sweat off of last’s night stage just to feel like you. Milligrams in my head, burning tobacco in my wind, chasing the direction you went.’

We’ve got desperation about growing and changing and losing that which they so valued in their sound and collaboration on Grave: ‘I can’t remember the good old days. Are all the good times getting gone? They come and go and come and go.’

We’ve got the pressure of keeping your love affair with your lead singer a secret lest you risk your fame, label representation, and fortune: ‘My mind is a safe, and if I keep it in we all get rich’ right next to the dirty, hollow feeling of having images of your body stolen and used to drag your name and reputation like you had no more heart than any other empty doll and losing the value of yourself in that process: ‘My body is an orphanage, we take everyone in.’

We’ve got the romantic comparison to cosmic entities, just like in Real Ones: ‘you’re a bottled star, the planets align. You’re just like Mars, you shine in the sky.’ And that tinge of disparagement and lonesomeness: ‘I’ve got a lot of friends who are stars but some are just black holes.’

10. Tiffany Blews

This song plays with a lot of fun moth/flame metaphors that I really enjoy, while also really amplifying the isolation and quick-burning nature of fame. I think that Pete gets a sick satisfaction from having Patrick sing out the worst things he thinks about himself, that he thinks everyone else thinks about him. (Pete, I think, is the little black dress that will be faded soon.)

Interestingly, we have ‘a roman candle heart keeps us far apart,’ which is a pretty direct link to the later Fourth of July. A heart that flares, explodes, and then burns out quickly certainly would be an obstacle to building a lasting relationship, no matter how much you loved someone…

‘Hate me, baby. Maybe I’m a piece of art.’

‘Dear gravity, you held me down in this starless city’ makes me think of the Moonrise Kingdom quote in Wilson (Expensive Mistakes): ‘I hope the roof flies off and we all get sucked into space.’ It’s the opposite, basically. Hoping to fall in love and get thrown up among the glittering cosmos rather than anchored someplace dark and starless. (Aside: I love how susceptible Pete is to grand, cheesy quotes? Like when, a few days after the release of The Last Jedi, he tweeted the heavy-handed noir line ‘I want to put my fist through this whole lousy, beautiful town.’ Like, look for that in a FOB song someday.)

11. w.a.m.s.

For the curious, Andy confirmed on Twitter that the title stands for waitress/actress/model/singer, a reference to the stereotype of people who run away to Hollywood to make it big but end up washing out and struggling as the starving artist/waitstaff type. If this idea of our boys citing bankrupt ambition does not make you emotional, you may not have a heart.

This song is incredibly relevant to the dreams meta linked earlier—‘when all the others were just stirring awake, I’m trying to trick myself to fall asleep again’ is very evocative of being in denial over the jarring reality of the end of the tryst. I think this song is about one of the last times Pete and Patrick slept together before breaking up.

‘My head’s in heaven, my soles are in hell’ again highlights that Pete’s wildest Patrick dreams are very different than where he actually finds himself; ‘let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well’ is a pretty transparent request, isn’t it? Especially since pre-hiatus Pete really loved to use ‘hips’ as a signifier for sexual desire/activity. Let’s just fuck and pretend it’s all okay. Let’s lose ourselves in each other and pretend we can have it. Tell me I’m the only one, even if it’s not true. Let me get high on this memory one last time.

‘Hurry, hurry. You put my head in such a flurry, flurry’ is the urgency and compromised judgment of the tryst. ‘Oh freckle freckle’ can be read as Patrick’s forehead mole. ‘What makes you so special? I’m gonna leave you’ tells us what makes the last time so good: Pete knows it’s the last time. Pete knows he has to end it. But he’s so addicted-sick, ((stray-dog sick,)) he can’t stop. ‘I’m gonna teach you how we’re all alone’ doesn’t really sound like something a newlywed and soon-to-be-dad should be saying, does it? But there it is. How can he let go when he knows ‘how heartwarming it is inside your skin’?

The final nail in my coffin: ‘I’m a sunshine machine. I want to get stuck and be golden in your memory.’

We’ve talked about how Patrick = sunshine = gold, right. r i g h t

12. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

Fun fact: this song is basically erotica to me ever since I wrote that recording booth smut about it! I can’t even listen to it without blushing and becoming uncomfortable. So there’s something you didn’t need to know about me that you… now know about me.

‘Permanent jet lag, please take me back. I’m stray dog sick, please let me in. The mad key’s tripping, singing vows before we exchange smoke rings.’ It is OBVIOUSLY my prerogative to interpret this as slightly depraved sexual longing, but I especially like the bit about singing vows without ever exchanging anything lasting or visible that implies commitment—this can be heard as a comment on the fickleness of commitment, or it can be heard as a comment about how deeply he is/was committed to Patrick even though they never had anything to show for it. Anything they could show for it. Even to each other.

Benzedrine is, of course, the very first pharmaceutical amphetamine (read about it here!). Many great artists and thinkers were influenced by the impossible energy it gives you, which is obviously relatable to someone who experiences natural mania, peddling his own prescription like a ‘medicine man’ (Wilson lyrics). I think the verse about Benzedrine and not letting the doctor in not-so-obliquely references the issue with medication compliance that Pete experienced and many people diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder also do: the meds for this disorder are really unpleasant. They dull you out, they give you tremors, they have really strong side effects, and they take away that amazing manic spark that so many artists credit with their success. Don’t let the doctor in. They’ll take away the only thing he really likes about being himself.

‘Have you ever wanted to disappear?’ is, I think, a glimpse of the unadorned real.

The spoken word bit at the end of this song really hammers together a lot of the themes of the whole album, the whole band, personal and political both. ‘You said you’re not listening and I said I’m wishing…’, only we don’t ever find out what’s really being said.

13. West Coast Smoker

I love the hell out of this song because there are few things in life that are hotter than Patrick singing the chorus. And fuck. Patrick saying curse words. I die every time. I think this is a kink I share with Pete Wentz. I think one day Pete Wentz and I will share a circle of hell. It will be called the ‘Underage Stump Mouth Rotunda,’ and we will all be very ashamed.

We’ve got a lot of the same themes: the ease of suicide and the conviction to live, the way shows feel and how it was when they were kids, drug use and overmedicated ennui. Pete was once the son, is becoming the father, is resolving not to become the holy ghost.

‘I’m the last of my kind’ and ‘when they made me they broke the mold’ and the finality of it all. (Contrasted with the modern era: ‘you’re the last of a dying breed.’ Pete has grown up and away from his recursive self-obsession, from his own myth. Pete learning to look inside others and stop dismissing himself, and everyone else, as fool’s gold.)

‘Your eyes are blocking my starlight’ to me really speaks to the person who is keeping him from Patrick, or the people—the fans, the Public, with their eyes on his every action.

14. Pavlove

I LOVE THIS SONG

Once again, we have a drug use metaphor: ‘she’s back to the bathroom for one more,’ ‘get addicted to this,’ and of course, the endless seeking for something to make ‘my chest stir/my head blur.’ And: ‘I’m not ready for a handshake with death, I’m just such a happy mess’ shows us, for once, what Pete has to live for—not just that he’s resigned to life, but the reason for it. This song is all tied up with the heady swell of live music and self-medication, and there’s no line more representative of my experience as a bisexual person than ‘I’m the invisible man who can’t stop staring at the mirror.’

‘I want to make you as lonely as me so you can get addicted to this’ seems very directed at Patrick, doesn’t it? Because this is a Pete who needs Patrick too much, thinks Patrick doesn’t need him back, is terrified. Doesn’t know how to solve his problems except to flee them. So: he flees them.

I MADE IT. I BARELY FUCKING MADE IT BUT I DID.

To sum up: Folie is an incredible, sweeping, beautiful album about the glory of Peterick and the band’s impending end, and it will break your heart. Hit me up with questions and requests, and as always, thank you for reading!

shark-myths out *mic drop*

#tryst theory #peterick #fall out boy #fob #pete wentz #patrick stump #pete wentz x patrick stump #lyrics meta #folie #america's suitehearts #prehiatus #small out boy #folie a deux #fad

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