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mordoriscalling · 3 years

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48 Weeks (4/4)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Throughout the 48 weeks that Geralt and Jaskier spend apart, their relationship develops.

Aka, part 3 of the Singer and the Sailor AU no one asked for but I wrote anyway. The events of this story happen after Stay or Sail Away but before Homecoming.

Weeks 37-48

Week 37

“I think I’m gonna write a book,” Jaskier announces.

“What about?”

“I’m not sure.”

Geralt snorts.

“I definitely have a story in me to tell,” Jaskier says defensively, “I can feel it. My music is about stories too, but I’m not ready to write a book yet.”

“When you think you’ll be ready?”

Jaskier smiles in a way that doesn’t bode well. “Maybe after my dear White Wolf tells me of all his sea adventures.”

Geralt does not like the implications of this. “No.”

“Geralt!” Jaskier whines, “You wound me! First you bewitch me body and soul, and now–”

“Don’t quote Pride and Prejudice at me, it’s not working.”

Jaskier pouts. “At least one little story? Pretty please?”

Geralt sighs. He still hasn’t learned to deny Jaskier anything.

Week 38

“I know this is a weird question but... is Eskel straight?”

Geralt feels a chill down to his very bones. “What?”

“I just... need this information. I don’t want to jinx it so I won’t say anything more for now.”

Geralt clenches his jaw. Eskel’s only two months older than him and in some ways, the two of them are all too similar. “He isn’t”, Geralt answers, “he’s mostly into women but there’re some men who catch his eye.”

Jaskier smiles like a cat that got all the cream. “That’s fantastic.”

Geralt grips the phone so hard his knuckle go white. “Indeed,” he grinds out.

Jakier’s face falls. “Geralt, what’s–”

“Have to go.”

He hangs up without another word and tries not to let this hurt him. He did see this coming. Yet, all the moments he and Jaskier shared, all the songs Jaskier sent him, everything of this is right there, painful like hell.

He misses home more than ever.

Week 39

“Geralt, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Geralt doesn’t want to. He didn’t reply to any of Jaskier’s frantic texts since the last video call. He only sent a message about when he would be able to talk this week and sure enough, Jaskier called at that time. Geralt wishes he didn’t. He wishes Jaskier just left already.

“Not bored of me yet?” he asks bitingly, all the bitterness of the past week coming up to the surface again.

Jaskier blinks. “I don’t understand.”

That angers Geralt even more. It’s not that hard to understand that he’s fucking hurt. “Stop fucking playing with me,” he growls, “Just say you want Eskel and leave me the fuck alone.”

“What.”

“You seemed happy to hear that he’s into guys,” Geralt answers, “so fuck off and go to him.”

Jaskier’s eyes widen. “Oh gods,” he says, then starts laughing.

“This isn’t fucking funny,” Geralt spats, furious now. Rejection is bad enough but ridicule is so much worse than that.

Jaskier stops giggling abruptly. “Oh no. I hurt you.”

Geralt grits his teeth and doesn’t reply.

“I’m so, so sorry.” The look in Jaskier’s eyes seems sincere. “I asked about Eskel’s sexuality because I have a plan to set him up with my friend Essi. I was happy to hear that he’s mostly into women because Essi is most definitely a woman, and a wonderful one at that. I’m trying to talk them into a blind date because I’m just sure they’d hit it off.”

Geralt suddenly feels like an idiot.

“I didn’t want to give you that impression,” Jaskier goes on, “I apologize, dearest. Eskel’s great but I love you.”

Geralt finds he can’t say it back today; Jaskier is too good for him. Instead, he musters an apology. Jaskier accepts and slowly, the tension between them eases, but the hurt lingers for some time.

Week 40

“Lambert is such a prick.”

Geralt huffs a laugh. “I see the first meeting went well.”

Lambert returned from his deployment a few days ago. Jaskier met him and Aiden yesterday.

“Well enough, I suppose,” Jaskier replies, “We called each other names but that was the fun part.”

Geralt chuckles. Jaskier rambles on about what’s going on back at home: Ciri's doing good at her piano lessons, Yennefer still tolerates Jaskier, Eskel and Essi have agreed to go out together. As Geralt listens to the cheerful chatter, his chest tightens.

Christmas is in two days. Spending the holiday on the ship isn’t bad – their celebration is almost like home – but Geralt hasn’t seen his loved ones in nine months. Usually, he would be on his way home around this time. Nine months is how long his deployments typically last. When they’re longer than that, being away from home starts getting unbearable again.

The sea can’t soothe him today.

Week 41

It’s their last video call of the year and Geralt wants to come clean.

“My hair used to be dark brown, even darker than yours.”

“Geralt, you really don’t have to–”

“But then in went white in a matter of a few weeks.”

Jaskier says nothing for a while. He looks unsure but Geralt waits for him to ask. Finally, he does. “What? How?”

“Blaviken.”

“Blaviken?”

Geralt swallows hard. His hands start sweating but he makes himself go on. “That was the name of the ship. I was twenty-seven, only a lieutenant. There was a sub-lieutenant there, Renfri. She and I... we had an affair, but we broke it off before we got deployed. During the deployment, she... she wanted to take revenge on one of the officers in command who harassed her in the past. She had a few of the guys on the ship on her side. They... took one crew member hostage, demanding the officer’s immediate resignation.”

“Holy fuck,” Jaskier breathes out.

Geralt’s heart is hammering in his chest. He forces himself to continue. “I was ordered to reason with Renfri but I didn’t succeed. She told her guys to attack me. I defended myself and knocked them out. Then Renfri attacked me herself because I ruined her revenge, and I...” He takes a deep breath and takes in Jaskier’s face for what he knows is possibly the last time. After drinking his fill, he looks away and confesses, “I hurt her too. Really badly. She never fully recovered and left the Navy the moment she could. I faced trial, it was a miracle I didn’t get expelled. People started calling me a Butcher and I was so fucking...” He trails off because his eyes are starting to prickle. The cruel disillusionment of that time – when he realised he would never be a hero after what he’d done – hits him all over again. It haunts him, even now, just like the way Renfri’s body went limp in his arms.

When he can speak again, he only adds, “After everything, my hair went white.”

He can’t even glance at Jaskier. A mixture of self-hatred, shame and remorse rises up his throat like bile. He listens to the ringing silence, waiting for Jaskier to finally say that it’s over.

Jaskier’s words are quiet and sorrowful, “I’m so sorry you went through that.”

It’s such a shock that Geralt can only stare. Jaskier’s eyes are brimming with compassion, which he never got from anyone but his family. No one else cared what truly happened on Blaviken. He was reduced to the Butcher, hated and feared. His infamy followed him like a shadow and Geralt wanted to out-run it more than he ever wanted anything in his life. And so, he worked himself to the ground to prove himself, then to keep his job because Ciri came into his life.

Eventually, he got promoted to lieutenant commander, then to commander three years ago. From the Butcher he became the White Wolf, known not for how he had hurt people but for how he cared about crew safety, demanding complete adherence to the rules. He’s now feared for his strictness, and it’s said that he could even become a Royal Navy captain.

Yet, Geralt noticed that he'd started drifting away from his family, especially Ciri, he slowly understood that enough was enough. The sea is what Geralt knows and finds solace in, but he wouldn’t be where he is now without the support of his loved ones. He’s been choosing the sea over them for long enough.

And now, somehow, Jaskier has become one of them. It’s irrational and too quick but Jaskier tells him he loves him even when he knows about Blaviken. Geralt decides he wants to keep him in his life indefinitely.

Week 42

“Happy New Year, my love.”

“Happy New Year,” Geralt replies, a smile tugging at his lips. He’s sure the year will be happy, with Jaskier there.

“I have a song for you,” Jaskier says, “to kick this year off with something good. It’s just... what I wish for us.”

“Something good” doesn’t begin to cover it. The song is slow and sensual, and it speaks of being in love. Of Jaskier being in love with him, loving and admiring him despite and because of knowing him well. Geralt listens to the song on repeat until he dreams of it, wishing that it was true.

He suspects that Jaskier has a wrong idea of him – an ideal which he won’t be able to live up to once he comes back. There’s a good chance that he’ll let Jaskier down and what they have won’t last.

And yet, he’s selfish and wants it to be real.

Week 43

Jaskier turns thirty-six today and Geralt has only one thing to say.

“I wish this too, Jaskier.”

Jaskier’s smile is watery and beautiful. “Happy birthday to me, indeed.”

Week 44

“Ciri keeps talking about that boy –”

“What boy?”

“You know, the new one in her class? Dara?” Jaskier looks at him expectantly. After a moment, the name rings a bell. He nods and Jaskier goes on, “I think she likes him.”

Geralt freezes. “Likes him?”

“Well, not likes him likes him but... they’re attached at the hip already. It’s great to see her make a friend like that, you know.”

Geralt hums in understanding. Ciri is friendly but other children are a bit hard on her. Many teachers are fond of her and the kids are jealous, thinking that it’s because Ciri’s parents are of high status. Ciri did earn her position as the favourite but it is true that no teacher would want to get into the black boots of a high-ranking government official and a Royal Navy commander. Now, Jaskier entering Ciri’s life only added fuel to fire in this aspect.

Sometimes Geralt thinks he shouldn’t have fought Yennefer tooth and nail when she wanted to send Ciri to the poshest school they could afford at the time. Geralt didn’t want his daughter to grow up in that environment but Yennefer wanted her to receive a top-quality education. In the end, Ciri went to a state school with high educational standards, but when the problem with other kids’ treatment of her appeared a few years later, Geralt regretted his stubbornness.

At least Ciri has always taken it in stride. She’s even more stubborn than he was, refusing to let it get to her, and Geralt adores her for it. It’s a relief, though, that she’s finally made a close friend.

“Thank you for looking out for her,” he tells Jaskier.

“Honestly, Geralt, I’m honoured that you allow me to do it. Yennefer would never let me.”

Geralt chuckles. “She wouldn’t.”

“And yet, despite her clear disdain of me, I’m starting to like that witch-bitch.” Jaskier sighs dramatically. “Alas, it appears she’s actually admirable and has a good taste in everything. Especially men.”

Geralt rolls his eyes.

Week 45

“Essi and Eskel are now a couple!” Jaskier exclaims excitedly in lieu of greeting.

“That was... fast.”

“That’s because they’re a perfect match!” Jaskier boasts with a grin, “I knew exactly what I was doing, I’m one of the best matchmakers out there.”

“What does it make Lambert?” Geralt asks.

“What do you mean?”

“He did matchmake you. With me.”

Geralt can clearly see the moment the realisation hits Jaskier.

“God-fucking-dammit, I’ve been bested!” he laments, "By fucking Lambert!”

Geralt quickly regrets pointing that out. Jaskier refuses to shut up about it.

Week 46

It’s Geralt’s forty-first birthday. The crew sang him happy birthday to his utter disgust, at which the fuckers were delighted, and now it seems that yet another person wants to celebrate his existence.

“I have a gift for you, love,” Jaskier says with a smile.

He props the phone against what Geralt assumes to be the music rack. When Jaskier sits down, Geralt gets a great view of his face as he starts playing.

The slow piano melody entrances Geralt at once. After some time, Jaskier starts singing, his voice low and soothing. The song is full of gentle, loving, grand promises. Geralt’s breath is taken away as he watches Jaskier sway to the music with his eyes closed, basked in the afternoon sunlight, looking like a creature from another world.

All the songs Jaskier’s written for him speak of such a strong feeling that Geralt is afraid to reach for it when he returns. If it were to crash and burn, the disaster would be spectacular. All his previous relationships ended badly; he knows he should be cautious.

And yet, Jaskier lures him in. He’s bright and full of life, ridiculous and annoying, warm but sharp. Jaskier feels like safety, he has from the start. And so, Geralt lets himself have this.

“Siren,” he murmurs after the last notes of the song die down, “thank you. It’s a beautiful gift. You are a gift.”

“Godness, Geralt,” Jaskier breathes out, “don’t say such things.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t be responsible for my actions when I hear you say something like that.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to hold back,” Geralt replies, “You are a gift.”

Jaskier’s gaze darkens. “Just you wait, Geralt Rivia,” he says huskily, “the things I’m going to do to you–”

Week 47

“All right, young lady, time to show off!”

Jaskier angles his phone so that the camera shows both him and Ciri as they sit by the piano in his house. Ciri smiles at Geralt and waves in greeting. Geralt smiles back, giving her an encouraging nod, and she places her fingers on the keys.

“Ladies and gentlemen, and everyone in-between and outside of that spectrum,” Jaskier says in an announcer voice, “I present to you Cirilla Vengeberg-Rivia, who will play Chopsticks for this esteemed audience!”

Ciri snickers and then begins. She plays slowly, yet to Geralt’s untrained ear, she keeps the rhythm and doesn’t miss any notes. The song lasts only a minute or two but Geralt is still very proud of her.

“Good job, Cub,” he tells her, making her smile.

“Indeed!” Jaskier seconds, “You’re a talent, sweetheart.”

“Maybe I got it from dad,” Ciri jokes.

The joke warms him to his very core but he snorts because the very notion is beyond ridiculous. “I wouldn’t be able to play well if my life depended on it.”

“Have you tried, though?” Jaskier asks with a smirk that bodes trouble.

Ciri grins like a brat she is. “We could learn together, dad.”

“A splendid idea, Ciri!” Jaskier exclaims. “Now, how can we talk your dad into it?”

Geralt faces two pairs of bright eyes and matching mischievous smiles, and he knows he can’t say no.

Week 48

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe it.” Jaskier lets out a small laugh. “Am I dreaming? Just... it’s been so long.”

“Hmm.”

They don’t talk much, only smile at each other. Geralt can almost sense Jaskier’s excitement through the screen, and he shares the feeling.

Tomorrow, he returns to his family. Very soon, finally, he comes back home.

To Jaskier.

***

A/N: Thank you for reading! If you’d like to revisit this fic as a whole, you can do so on AO3.

The list of "Jaskier's" songs in this fic: Vor í Vaglaskógi by KALEO Movement by Hozier Wish That You Were Here by Florence + The Machine Pass Them By by Agnes Obel Muddy Waters by LP Venus by Sleeping At Last Coming Home, Pt. II by Skylar Grey Angels by the xx I Hold You by CLANN

It would be... a hell of an album.

#myfic #geraskier #geralt x jaskier #the witcher fanfiction #modern au #the Sailor and the Singer AU

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bigtiddygothhusband · 3 years

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It’s like. Yes, okay sure, you can still like harry potter so long as you aren’t supporting jk. I had very few friends as a younger person so a lot of my formative years are based around media that I now have a lot of issues with. Furthermore I have ADHD and before i knew that and had methods of breaking and avoiding hyper-fixations i ended up latching on to stuff I thought was bad even then. And like even now I’m not some moral purist I like some stuff a lot of people would find really weird or gross or sketchy. I get it.

But if you talk about it positively a lot you need to be willing to accept that like. First of all, people aren’t gonna wanna talk to you. They don’t know you, all they know about is you’re hyping up something that hurt them or the people they care about. In particular trans women as they’re the people who are at the highest risk of physical harm from jk’s actions and words but also like. Chinese people, Jewish people, Korean people, Black people, women, Native Americans, poor people, even fucking neopagans. The woman has gone after basically everyone who isn’t her view of the ‘default’ and a lot of those people and the people who care about them will want to avoid you.

Furthermore, if you have any sort of platform then your personal actions aren’t that important because that positive association people may have with you then gets applied to the series. you might think “it’s harry potter and i’m some rando with a couple thousand followers or whoever who cares” but just because someone knows it exists doesn’t mean they have a strong attachment to it or even that they’ve read or watched it and the fact that you’re smaller in fact makes them more likely to care about what you have to say, because it makes the connection more personal.

And finally, asking “but can i still like it” instead of “have i internalized the negative things this has to say” and “how can i help the people this work and its creator have hurt” is really hurtful. Regardless of how you meant it the question places your enjoyment above the lives and safety of trans women. And don’t go like “oh but they should look into me before judging, why would they assume stuff.” There are so many people who celebrated when they found out J.K. was a transmisogynist. Or who legitimately didn’t care. You’re asking why should they make assumptions but the thing is when you’ve been hit so many times you’re not in the wrong for flinching at a raised hand.

Do whatever you want, I can’t stop you and I don’t especially want to. But please. Shut up about it.

#original content #transmisogyny tw #transphobia tw #long post #harry potter

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constant-instigator · 4 years

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In comes a rant. I will not be reading replies.

Ownvoices writing is good. Ownvoices writing is vital, indispensable. Worthy of so much support.

But JESUS CHRIST people need to settle the fuck down about others “writing outside their lane.”

Let me explain.

1) A shit ton of marginalized people- largely creators, have worked our collective asses off helping people write beyond their experience. Claiming that nobody of a particular marginalization wants anyone outside their community to write about them is a massive disservice to people doing the work to make sure that writing is good.

2) For every marginalization, there are those at the border- at the egde. Who see these demands for ownvoices only rep and tailspin into wondering if they are ______ ENOUGH to write from their own life. I have seen these calls for ownvoices-only make people consider either giving up writing, or only writing white, straight, cis, nondisabled, allo characters which honestly we do not need a bunch more of. Creating ranking within our own communities just re-establishes harmful hierarchies within communities that have already been harmed by such hierarchies. And honestly this kind of thinking contributes to so many harmful stereotypes about what people of different marginalizations feel/think/act like. This kind of thinking stops people from finding help. From finding community. Stop hurting marginalized people with gatekeepy bullshit. No more “not trans enough” to deserve transitioning support. No more “not depressed enough” to deserve mental health help. This an incredibly harmful scarcity mindset that helps nobody.

3) NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO TRADITIONALLY PUBLISH. I bring this one up only because there’s a lot of talk about people “taking up space” by writing a particular marginalization. By all means, take publishers to task for their “we already have a black book this year” bullshit. But some people just wanna self publish and we do not need to act like every marginalized community has like 3 book slots per year and wont read more than that. The thirst for books about marginalized folks is VAST. People are hungry to be seen. The market can bear it. And those that self-pub aren’t taking anything away from anyone else.

4) Multi-POV books are a thing? Like honestly why would I write a queer cast if they’re all gonna be white? What unrealistic whitewashy bullshit is that? Why would I bother writing about disability if I’m gonna exclude queer folks, who are disproportionately affected by a number of disabilities due to medical negligence? If you write communities, if you write multiple points of view, you shouldn’t be contributing to the media mass removal of people who don’t fit hollywoods idea of real people.

5) Stop treating people who have different experiences of marginalization as different goddamn species. I’m really seeing people say queer women shouldn’t write queer men and vice versa? So who is my nonbinary ass supposed to write, huh? Just only nonbinary people? Yeah ok, I hate book sales. Lemme just do that. Or maybe we could stop acting like our differences make us incomprehensible to each other- especially when dealing with adjacent communities.

6) If your answer to #5 was “well the more marginalized can write the less marginalized” then you have just bought into the idea that marginalization can be ranked and rated and my dear that is a bullshit idea. Yes, there are some clear cut exampled. Being white is gonna protect you from racism. Granted. But who is “more marginalized” a queer woman or a queer man? An autistic person or someone with bipolar? A Muslim or a Hindu? If you just tried to answer any of these questions stop. Go get a glass of water. Take a few deep breaths, and realize that creating hierarchies is half of how we get into these situations in the first place.

7) Said hierarchies would, under ownvoices-only rule, ensure that those with the greatest barriers, on average, bear all the responsibility, with the LEAST amount of support from publishers. This isn’t a “boo-hoo where will Black people get Black books if white people don’t write them?” It’s “if queer women can only write queer women, and not queer men, then they are relegated to the less profitable section of queer publishing and the patriarchal order is maintained”. I think my community can do better than that. I refuse to invite those models into my community.

8) “Well if you listen to people who are X, they want-” Stop. Stoooop. No. We are not a monolith we are never a monolith. Go read #1 again.

In conclusion, a lot of harmful bullshit books make it out into the world. Those books can and should be called out. But we don’t need to harm marginalized people to do that. We don’t need to water down our communities. We don’t need to uphold hierarchies that the craptacular establishment approves of. We don’t need to ignore the hard work so many people have put into helping there be more good rep in the world.

Ownvoices stories are vital. We must uplift them. By all means, side-eye anyone you see writing what they’re not without uplifting those who educated them.

But #ownvoices is a beacon, not a cudgel.

I will not be reading or responding to any comments on this post, because Tumblr purity bullshit culture may well find this post one day. And a lot of people want to use the concept of “safety” to attack anyone who makes them feel anxious by pointing out that there is no simple, cut and dry way to avoid harm, to avoid messing up, to avoid their ever-encroaching sense of anxiety-riddled guilt. Life is messy. Learn to apologize and do better, because you will never be free of making mistakes.

#writing

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givelovechooselove · 7 years

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Thoughts on BLM at Harry’s show

I was chatting with my friend @sparklebootsandspeckledsuits this morning about my thoughts on last night’s show, and she suggested that I post it all on my blog. So if you’re interested, here it is word for word under the cut. If you take issue with it, do what you need to do, but I think at this point I’d like people to know where I stand, if for no other reason, than to know that I used the space I have in this fandom to speak up about something that I think is important.

Like tbh my issue isn’t really with harry right now. I actually have no clue if he saw the signs or the flag. They are black and white vs rainbow colored, so likely much harder to spot. So I’m not gonna criticize him based on the assumption that he actually saw them, which I just don’t feel like I can say for sure. I also want to acknowledge that Harry might not know much about blm or what it means to people. I know it’s a huge deal in America bc of the way black people have been treated, but I recognize that it’s not yet an international movement like lgbt rights is today. And I have no reason to believe that if harry did fully understand what it’s about that he’d have an issue acknowledging it at his show alongside lgbt rights. Like I keep thinking about how upset people were during otra bc harry wasn’t waving bi or trans flags. But then over time he started to acknowledge those too. Last night was the very first time blm had a real presence at one of his shows (and even still it wasn’t a big presence), so I also feel like people need to just give him a chance. I’m just kind of reserving judgement on Harry’s actions or lack thereof right now bc there’s still a lot i don’t know about the situation.

What I DO know however is that that girl handed out 500 blm signs, explained to people what it was, and asked for their help and then only 10 people did it. It literally costs nothing to hold up a sign for 30 seconds to support poc. There is zero risk involved. Like do you value black lives? Do you believe we have a right to equal treatment? Do you believe we shouldn’t be treated like 2nd class citizens by our leaders? Do you believe we have to right to not be gunned down by police officers at routine traffic stops because of the color of our skin? Do you believe we should enjoy the same safety as everyone else? That we shouldn’t expect our sons and daughters to end up in body bags when we send them off to school? Yes????? Then hold up this fucking sign for 30 fucking seconds and don’t drop it on the damn floor. Like how does every other fan project get support, but not the one that specifically involves the rights of brown people??

And the thing is, whether you think it’s reasonable or fair for people to expect harry to acknowledge blm, you at the very least should not be going around to black fans and calling them stupid for even WANTING that. Like what kind of ugly ass hypocrisy is THAT?? So lgbt people are allowed to want a safe space at Harry’s show, and bi people and trans people and women and people from Puerto Rico but not black people?? And again, I’m not even saying blm NEEDS validation from harry bc it really fucking doesn’t but how can you expect black fans to see Harry leveraging his platform to speak for every single marginalized group EXCEPT theirs and not have hope that he might be willing to acknowledge them too??? I feel like it’s a natural reaction. And all I would like to see is for other fans to try to understand and be supportive of that. Don’t make jabs about how blm is too political or how it’s “unhealthy” for fans to even try to get harry to see their signs. Like what??? It wasn’t unhealthy or too political when lgbt people did it, so what’s changed? What’s different? Like even if harry never said anything about blm, it would probably mean the world to black fans to know that the rest of the fandom sees them and has their back. But that’s not what I’m seeing and that’s what upsets me more than anything. Especially from a group of people who claim to be so loving and “woke”.

And FOR FUCKS SAKE ppl need to stop making this all about harry. Like “blah blah blah stop attacking harry” like!!! No, I don’t believe he deserves an ounce of hate over this but of all the people being attacked right now harry is really the least of my concerns.

Think of all the fans feeling alienated and alone right now please.

Like blm is simply an affirmation that black people are important too. The way that the pride flag is a symbol for the lgbt community and their rights, blm is a way for black people to say we’re proud of who we are and deserve respect like everyone else.

It doesn’t mean other lives don’t matter. It should really be read Black Lives Matter (too).

And that’s the part a lot of people miss.

Like dear white people of the world, we already know you fucking matter because you pretty much never let anyone forget it. How about we give a voice to people who are regularly ignored, overlooked, and oppressed for a change without you getting your feelings hurt? Like this is not about you.

No one is willing to speak up for us, but when we design a movement to speak up for ourselves suddenly we’re doing something wrong.

Last night further proves why in 2017 something like blm even needs to exist. It’s sad.

#harry styles #black lives matter #blm #safe space

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cyarskaren52 · 11 months

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A post shared by The Neighborhood Talk (@theneighborhoodtalk)

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theneighborhoodtalk Not Carlee Russell 😩. Jamie’s fans aren’t feeling his silence concerning his health scare. Thoughts? 👀

As far as I know Jamie Foxx ain’t say sh*t to none of y’all , it ain’t his fault others let this story run wild. He is not obligated to do that.

Yall swear people have to tell you when they blood sugar is low, what’s in their 401k, and the last person they slept with for you to carry on your day

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lordendsavior · 7 years

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Harry Styles is a faithful disciple of silence. He rarely does interviews, and when he does he speaks with charm and cheek while avoiding any nuggets of actual information that could be described as revealing. Until he started doing press around his debut solo album this spring, giving him various bits of artwork and magazine covers to screengrab, his Instagram looked like an A-Level photography project—full of dramatically monochrome shots of infrastructure and food. His Twitter timeline is essentially a corkboard littered with messages expressing thanks to his fans, structured like love letters from a husband in the trenches—"See you soon. Love. H."

In our climate of oversharing, his withholding nature may conveniently double up as a watertight marketing tactic, creating a shroud of mystery that's inherently desirable (what's he wearing today? What's he eating for breakfast? What does he do when he's not making scheduled public appearances?). But for him, it's more than that – "When I go home, I feel like the same person I was at school," he told Rolling Stone earlier this year, "You can't expect to keep that if you show everything."

This is why you don't often see Harry Styles among the names that frequent the daily aggregated news cycle of and Person Says Thing > The Thing is Outrageous! > Actually, The Thing Is Very Nuanced > Ugh, Someone Has Said Something Else Now. He has, to paraphrase someone he once dated, removed himself from the narrative. But, at the same time, Styles has created a narrative that exists just between him and his fans. Simply put: he cares about them, very sincerely and very unabashedly. Which isn't unusual—Lady Gaga is a perfect example of the often very intimate way fandom culture works today—but Harry Styles is muse to such a vast number of teenage girls, a demographic whose interests and opinions are rarely taken seriously by music critics or society at large, that his respect for them takes on a different meaning. It's a relationship best summarized by the following quote from Styles in that Rolling Stone interview: "Who's to say that young girls who like pop music—short for popular, right?—have worse musical taste than a 30-year-old hipster guy? That's not up to you to say." He goes on: "Teenage-girl fans—they don't lie. If they like you, they're there. They don't act 'too cool.' They like you, and they tell you. Which is sick."

This was also the defining characteristic of One Direction's relationship with their fandom. They knew exactly who elevated them from bronze winners of a generic talent contest to global superstardom, they knew exactly who kept them there, and in return they gave them what they wanted. In the wake of their split, journalist Anna Leszkiewicz described One Direction as "a towering monument to the power of teenage girls."

It would have been both a strange and fairly stupid move for Styles to abandon that relationship moving into his solo career, but if anything he seems to have doubled down. He still doesn't say a great deal to the press, save for the endless shouts of appreciation for the people who make his life possible—namely, his fans and faves (artists like Stevie Nicks, to whom Harry Styles owes much of its inspiration)—but over time he's fostered a channel of trust that means his shows have become as close to a safe space as is possible for young girls to get as far as experiencing live music is concerned.

Harry Styles is currently touring Europe. He passed through London last weekend, with fans arriving to camp outside Hammersmith's Eventim Apollo in west London as early as Tuesday. Approaching the venue on Sunday evening, the area outside is deserted. It looks like a Glastonbury camping zone on clean-up day. Duvets are draped over the empty barriers; the floor is littered with foil blankets and carrier bags full of empty sandwich boxes and crisp packets; Pride Flags and Black Lives Matter placards have been taped in place like calls to arms. Everyone is already inside, obviously, and has been for ages. There are about 50 girls camping across the road on a patch of grass underneath Hammersmith flyover so they can be first in line for tomorrow's show. To arrive on time to a Harry Styles show is akin to missing it.

As for inside the venue, you can hardly see the stage for the number of LGBTQ Pride and Black Lives Matter signs held aloft by the audience. In Manchester, people also held up the city's bee symbol. The "I love you"s and "Marry me"s stereotypically associated with teen girl fandom are still very much there in spirit, but their articulation has taken on an actively political tone. The rainbow, the striking black and white of the BLM logo, the Manchester bee—all are symbols of support shared widely on social media, where pop fanbases tend to be most active, exemplifying a generational shift in consciousness towards social awareness. Here, they're brandished less a show of resistance and more as a celebration. People feel comfortable expressing themselves this way because they know everyone in the room is already on their side.

Styles has spoken generally about equality in the press before ("Most of the stuff that hurts me about what's going on at the moment is not politics, it's fundamentals," he told Rolling Stone. "Equal rights. For everyone, all races, sexes, everything"), but it's what he says at his shows, addressing people directly, that means the most to those who care the most. Throughout the night he encourages people to be "whoever you want to be in this room" and continually thanks them "from the bottom of my heart." Someone throws a Pride Flag on stage and he holds it with both hands above his head and runs back and forth across the stage. Someone else throws a French flag and he does the same. Someone else throws a bit of tinsel and he drapes it around his shoulders like a stole.

The room is full of groups of teenage girls hugging each other, hugging people they didn't know, turning to ask the people behind them if they could see alright. Anyone crammed towards the front has been there from the second the doors opened, denying themselves water or a sit-down so they could be as close to their idol as possible. The show had to be stopped twice to help two girls who fainted in the pit. Harry calmly asked people to take a step back, repeatedly checked if everyone was okay and spoke soothingly about looking after one another. He played "Kiwi" twice because it's what the fans wanted, though not without a bit of showmanship ("if you want us to play it again you're going to have to scream louder than that").

It's also worth noting that, although it was ostensibly The Harry Styles Show, five of the ten people onstage are women. As well as a female drummer and keyboardist playing in his own band, he's being supported by MUNA—a goth-pop trio from LA whose music communicates the emotional disarray of sexuality and relationships, as well as heavier topics like assault, through a specifically queer lens. On stage in Hammersmith this weekend, they repeatedly acknowledged the marginalised communities present within the crowd, providing reassurance that—in this room, at least—they are seen and heard. There are, sadly, so many awful reasons to feel unsafe at any show, but in light of the Manchester Arena bombing, pop shows now carry a particularly horrific association that lingers in the back of your mind and can make you inadvertently take note of the emergency exits. Rather than avoiding it, guitarist/vocalist Naomi McPherson addresses the elephant in the room and reminds people how brave they are for being here at all. Singer Katie Gavin introduces their single "I Know A Place"—essentially the San Junipero episode of Black Mirror as a song—by describing it as their imagining of an ideal world we should be working towards. "I know a place we can run / Where everyone gonna lay down their weapon," Gavin sings over a dancey four-to-the-floor beat, "Don't you be afraid of love and affection."

For all the talk of inclusivity and equal rights often thrown around within subcultural communities like punk, hardcore and indie—predominantly male-dominated spaces that can't seem to go a day without someone in a band being called out as abusive—it strikes me as significant that this is one of the few shows I've ever been to where I've not felt threatened by anyone in the room. And it's not because I am, at 5 feet 3 inches, one of the largest people in this one. It's because Harry Styles supports his fans' politics while they really live it, and as a result his shows have become a place for people to celebrate being whoever they are. The diversity of the room itself speaks to that. He's cheering just as much for his fans as they are for him.

Pop music is accessible and available in ways that more subcultural music isn't, but this dynamic doesn't just present itself anywhere. Justin Bieber shows, ecstatic as they may be, are not largely comprised of kids shouting down racism while overtly celebrating their queerness. Pop, like all music, can often be a form of escapism—a way to forget yourself, especially if being yourself can mean facing a multitude of hardships. The actual content of Harry Styles' music isn't anywhere near political but, because of the way his fans engage with him and each other, his shows inherently are.

Obviously, anything can happen anywhere and anytime. Harry Styles' name on the front of a building can't guarantee the absolute safety of everyone in it. But it does foster a world away from our current one; a world that feels less oppressive and more like MUNA's "I Know A Place." I can't imagine how valuable it is for teenagers to experience that—even if it's just for a night.

#i love this article #harry styles #the pink tour press

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