#Pick mes do not interact
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Lineart by @ovytia-art which was such a blast to color - I love the entire vibe of all of them hanging out together so much @green-with-envy-phandom-event
#greenwithenvy2024#danny phantom#i picked it for Dani originally but i really do love seeing all of them interact together it makes me really happy to see#fun fact the flats (including background) took almost 4 hours. + i had to spread that up over a few days due to eye problems slowing me dow#but it was so so worth it. no one else will really understand but working on it gave me the same kind of goofy fun stress free feeling as#when me and my friends hang out at our dennys. i have a newfound fondness for nasty burger.#anyway do NOT look too closely at the car background because i /know/ they're messed up perspective just. hush.#i designed some nasty burger logos for this based on the canon sign! it was very fun!!!! and i reused them for another piece#dp jbee
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dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say
#this is not how the interaction played out in the issue btw lol I'm just having a bit of fun#tim drake#dick grayson#batfam#dc#the new titans issue 65#inspi art#I remember being baffled when i read ALPOD and tim broke into dick’s apartment like it was nothing to find out where he’d gone#like where did he learn that? reddit?#I chalked it up to comicbook goofiness and wolfman stretching suspension of disbelief a little to keep the plot moving#which is why it surprised me when they acknowledged it again#and by doing so cemented tim knowing how to pick locks and being used to breaking into apartments as a canon fact(TM)#and so hence forth he would continued to be a little contradictory weirdo who’s both normal and incredibly not normal at the same time
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Remember this post where I talked about how funny Host!Vic’s gender neutrality is? Well now it’s even funnier because this episode seemingly confirmed something I have suspected to be true for a while now, which is that fictional Vic Michealis SOMEHOW DIDNT REALISE THEYRE BI?????
#this is so funny#suspected this because of their interactions with Leighanna and The Fourth Witch#compared to their interactions with male characters#with Leighanna they are obsessed with her they want her so bad but they seem to justify it by wanting to be LIKE her instead#the fourth witch on the other hand? very clearly flirting with them the whole episod#and they just don’t seem to pick up on it#meanwhile you have characters Jordache‚ Dr Milk‚#that frozen guy who’s name I forget#who they very openly flirt with once intrest is shown#and even in this episode I think vic would have reacted quite differently if it was Greg flirting with them#they seem so… hesitant and unsure‚ like they’re trying to reject Charlotte’s advances#which they like NEVER do with male characters‚ this guy wants love so bad#also god. the way they fall for Charlotte and become flattered by her advances as the episode goes on#and you’re just sitting there like. this woman cheated on her husband sixteen times. this will not end well#you just know vic is going to get unbelievabley attached after they hook up and charlottes going to lose intrest within seconds#also I love how Izzy was like ‘ok last time our characters relationship could pass as a friendship so this time I am NOT giving you an out’#god this episode was so good#the last couple haven’t really hit so well for me so this was a lovely reminder of why I love this show#MAN. the implications of this for their relationship with Bianca. they didn’t know. they had no idea.#shitpost#very important people#host!vic#vic michealis#vip#ALSO I believe irl vic prefers the term ‘queer’ over bi judging by that one interview I re read this morning#but I usd bi here because queer in certain contexts can be used for both sexuality and gender identity#so saying ‘they didn’t know they were queer’ might imply they didn’t know they were lgbt at all which clearly isn’t true#also host vic is not real vic so their sexuality could be different#dropout#dropout.tv
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this collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate.
#feminism#feminist quotes#text#tiktok#radical feminists do interact#radical feminist community#radical feminist safe#radblr#radical feminism#not like other girls#pick me girl
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@darkflierliesel
Felix and Leonie being pals was such fun to draw and I loved drawing this and thank you for your patience with all the stormy weather and delays! ;w; I really appreciate ya!
#commission complete#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#leonie pinelli#you guys will NEVER guess whats going on outside right now! actually you do! its THUNDERING!#but i luckily finished coloring in time and got permission to post just before I have to shut down o7#leonie manspreading and felix annoyed and moving his own leg to not be in contact is just so funny to me#thank you for the freedom to pick a dynamic aside from Being Pals cause i had a lot of fun#thinking about how they would interact#while i dont really draw 3h much these days i do still really enjoy the characters and thinking about interactions ;w; so this was so fun
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got like five asks requesting aku or chuuya so i just drew them together🗿
#i don't ship them btw lol i hc them as mentor/student but you guys can do whatever ig#idk how to draw aku im so sry his hair is so hard for me fsr💀💀#since bones or asigiri didnt give them interactions i had to do it all by myself :(#its hard knowing your two favs will never get screentime together even tho they probably see each other everyday at work#also they are so father son coded after dazai left i'd like to think chuuya took responsibility for aku#since aku was the result of his partner's failed apprenticeship so chuuya felt an obligation to pick up where dazai left off#anyway they’re besties but i can’t prove it#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#ryuunosuke akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#bsd#lotus draws
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HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!!
Just recently, an Indian woman’s brutal rape case shook the entire world to the core, Indian women are out on streets protesting and fighting for her justice, women everywhere are scared for their lives and angry, but men somehow made it about themselves once again.
These shameless south asian men are making and sharing disgusting dark memes on social media about the victim and cracking jokes, but women are not even allowed to speak a word against these bastards cause the pick me pricks won’t stop bringing their swords in, protecting these men who should be lynched to death.
All men are busy "nOt aLL mEning" like always, but women can’t point fingers at them because "i hAvE hUGGeD mEn yOu gUys thEy’rE grEaT"
In India, one in every three women is raped every minute, but let’s not blame all men, it’s just a fEw oF thEm. PlEaSe tHinK bEfoRe yOu sPeAk!!
Men are happily cheering on the victim’s death and going on with their privileged lives, but let’s give them a tissue paper because tHey’re sUbjEcTed tO thE sAme tUrmOil tHe wOmEn fEEl. 🥺
South Asian men are number one in the list of all trash men and yet these dumbfucks cannot stop worshipping their ugly dicks. But enough is enough now!! This happens every time a woman goes through something worst. Every single time the pick mes and their favourite m@les pop out of their garbage dumpsters making it all about these mEn. But not anymore!!!!
Please start calling out these type of people and publicly shame them! I swear if i see any other person saying shit like "nOt aLL mEn bUt aLwAys a mAn" it won’t be my fault whatever happens to them next.
I will blame all men because YES IT IS ALL MEN! ALL MEN ARE TRASH! ALL MEN SHOULD DIE!
PS. the last pic is the screenshot from the instagram story of a Pakistani writer, Umera Ahmed! Also, excuse the B slur!
#yes all men#yes all of them#all men are trash#brown men are trash#kill all males#all men are the same#blame all men#curse all men#south asian men are trash#normalise bullying males#radblr#radical feminism#radical feminist community#radical feminist safe#radical feminist#radical feminists do interact#feminism#justice for moumita#moumita debnath#indian women#pick me behavior
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felt so euphoric to be able to come out as nb/trans in Veilguard, loved the added dialogue they took the time to write and record just for such scenarios
now can we PLEASE make a game where u can explicitly, verbally come out as ace, and also without it automatically locking you out of the romance path
pls bioware (and other companies) some of us are STARVING
#would be nice to have been able to come out as ace and either have a lotta angst or have it be no big deal (which would be hella validating)#me picking the friends-option for Astarion in bg3 because we're clearly BOTH some level of ace#wtf do you mean that means the game refuses to consider the possibility of us still being romantically involved#Starboy I still wanna cuddle and flirt 😭#boi needed intimacy withOUT the expectation of access to his body and I'M RIGHT WITH HIM ON THAT#why i gotta friendzone him#and yes i know Josephine's romance (DA:I) was tEcHNicALLy an asexual romance but it was never actually stated#it felt more like a 'courtly love' taking it slow kinda romance path#not because our characters weren't GONNA bone eventually post-game or smth#i WANT the certainty. i WANT my chara to be able to discuss it and have it affect how the companion interacts with you#in a way where it isn't treated as the LESSER (incomplete) version of the romance path#asexuality#acespec#dragon age#dragon age 4#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#da4#DAtV#veilguard
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i cant go back to that life man
#every time i think im out they pull me back in <- was in pokeask for 5+ years#i knew what i was getting into playing pmd and the temptation to start another ask blog is overwhelming#but i also knw i absolutely dont have the energy to keep it going for at least 6 months LOL. at some point it eventually feels more#like an obligation and it feels draining. maybe ill do it again at some point but when i learn how to manage my expectations#also everyone i knew is either deactivated or hasnt posted since 2021.. and im always gonna compare that to the 2016 daily ask#blog boom around the time sm came out. unfortunately im picky so i like to have a lot of options and it looks like ask blogs kinda waned#since i last played in the community. i at least have the sense not to join a community discord now. that was so bad for my heart#i knw it sounds like i hated my time there but it was fun and a good way of getting to know other ppls ocs and stories#and a fun way of writing and participating in other ppls stories without it feeling like such a one sided thing#looking back i think it also leans heavily on how you write your characters and interactions than a fully fleshed out plot#if i loosened up a bit and let my story go with the flow of asks instead of only letting it lead down one route i wouldve had more fun#instead i was constantly trying to pick out what order to answer questions to make it go the way i wanted it to go#and not really learning how to anticipate and move with questions that wouldve opened up a lot of possibilities#which couldve made it more fun and less stressful. idk#yapping#diary
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Books of 2025: May Wrap-Up.
Good reading month, in terms of both quantity and quality (many four-star reads, good daisychain flow between books)! Great adulting month (more on this later)!! Even got some good knitting and writing in!
Here's what I read (photos/reviews linked):
GHOST OF THE NEON GOD ★★★★ Impulse buy; wasn't expecting it to worm into my brain but it did. Not perfect, but I had fun! Funny, fucked up, weird--you know my lifestyle.
CATCHPENNY ★★★★ Kitchen sink book (affectionate) about a washed-up thief who can travel through mirrors and doomsday cults and art and a missing teenager, exactly tickled my ODD THOMAS buttons, fucked up and funny and weird.
THE SAINT OF BRIGHT DOORS ★★★½ I really wanted to love this, but it didn't quite stick the twist!ending landing for me. I admire his ambition and his worldbuilding; excited to see how the author grows. Overall a good time.
MINIMIZING MARRIAGE ★★★ Snagged this from the library for Aro Reasons (Brake coined the term "amatonormativity" and discusses its implications with regards to marriage specifically). Chapter 4 was excellent; the rest of it was interesting but not what I was after. Very readable volume in a Feminist Philosophy series.
BRIGHT ★★★★ Thai novel in translation (first one written by a woman!), been on my radar for years. Lovely translation, lovely tonal balance (sweet moments + melancholy; it's a story about an abandoned 5/6-year-old, but it felt Authentic instead of Saccharine or Depressing). Definitely keeping an eye out for her other work in English.
THE LUMINOUS DEAD ★★★★ I didn't mean to binge this in less than 24 hours on a three-day weekend, but Here We Are. This is We Support Women's Wrongs: Cave SF/Horror Edition. Propulsive, tense, claustrophobic, deeply fucked up.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½, which is really only applicable for me at ★★★ and up). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
★ - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2025#books of 2025: may wrap-up#ghost of the neon god#t. r. napper#catchpenny#charlie huston#the saint of bright doors#vajra chandrasekera#minimizing marriage#elizabeth brake#bright#duanwad pimwana#the luminous dead#caitlin starling#beginning to suspect that only my pictures of books that are Already Tumblr Popular get any notes at all btw#neon god was an exception this month but like. saint and luminous got interaction and the others really didn't??#something something i post for me but like. it's certainly something to write a review and get very little engagement.#idk how you artists and fic writers do it i couldn't handle it#ANYWAY#i really did plan on luminous dead taking me MUCH longer to finish. so i took this pic before the end of the month.#but then i had to select another book after i binged TLD in a day. so i picked something Slow so it wouldn't accidentally get finished eith#i really did enjoy daisychaining my way through all of these though that was fun!!#and wow i didn't realize i rated so many High this month#love that for meeeee#is it the Hope?? is it the Optimism??? is it the Escape Hatch????#The World May Never Know#this is a tiny bit early for me because i have been DULY (tri-ly?) ENABLED (thank you friends)
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No, seriously, I still don't get it. If you're a minor and have "MINOR" written in bio, what is your goal with it, why are you announcing it, what are you trying to achieve, what should other blogs do with this information in your opinion, promptly block you if they're not minors or what? Genuinely curious, please somebody enlighten me
#Whenever I see it I just stare at it wondering what is this information for#Like do you want me to block you if I'm not a minor?#is this why you're telling this with a few exclamation marks?#Like I don't really have anything against minors interacting with my blog but if “MINOR” in bio stands for#“Adults don't interact” I will start blocking those blogs if that's truly what they want#But is that really what they want?#In that sense I have 20+ in bio hinting at my approximate age so it's no secret but still some minors pick to follow so I assume#they probably don't strive to get blocked at least some of them probably saw it before following#what do they strive for though#I have no clue
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For @narrobotor so enjoy :) I'd like to do some more stuff of specially Tyler in this fit tho cause it was very very good indeed
Discussion + Reference ↓
I couldn't find another two person pose (didn't want to get stuck in Pinterest scrolling) so they're on the train. Don't mind me just passing by 😭 I'm still tryna work em out. They're really easy and really hard to draw at the same time. And my art confidence hasn't been it recently, mostly cause I haven't been dedicating as much time as I used to I suppose. But I would love to crack down and do stuff. Just don't know how :/ this was really good to get me drawing tho!!! #whenyouhavecommitmentstopeopleyouactfaster lmfao and I'm more likely to do it. So yk, reqs always open, mostly for my benefit 💀 can pick between whether you like the cooler or warmer one better. Think I'm leaning toward the cool
Reference ↓

#fight club#yawn club frfr#need to sleep soon#glad i spent the extra time to add a background#i wasn't before but yk#glad i did#and hot pick seats cause yayaya soap#yeah#just glad i do a complete piece#but idk#i see the folks out there doing stuff just solely for the characters and interaction and not focusing on everything because the bigger pict#re is better#and that really inspires me#tried to do that with lineart and such here#having a looser sketch and loose lineaet#*lineart#yeah.#idk.#i think it works well for these two but dk#thanks kings#fight club fanart#once again why do people not use that tag??#tyler durden#tyler durden fanart#the narrator fight club#the narrator fanart#my art
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babys first dni. 🧡
#less a dni and more a “please be mindful interacting w me if u and this person are close mutuals/friends”.#im tired yall.#i dont care for making people pick sides and i have yet to see this person on my dash/cross paths with mutuals of mine in totality.#i also do not run in this persons circles so it is unlikely ill see them on my dash! im just highlighting some discomfort :)#but im tired. and i can expand on anything if people are happy to approach n ask but i just ask for mindfulness.#ill del this shortly but 🧡
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…? no because the child (touya) did NOT in fact have too much love for his father. what in the victim blaming fuck are you talking about 💀😭 a child should not be able to have too much love for their dad. enji neglecting him and pushing him away when he needed his love and validation does NOT mean that touya had an excess. his strong emotions and the fact he needed help with them does NOT equal ‘an excess’ love. what an insane thing to say. endeavor fans are like the one kind of person where i can’t separate fiction from reality when it comes to how i react to your opinions. because these takes are genuinely always so incredibly concerning when it comes to touya and rei
ok right off the bat, i’m going to assume that you, anon, as an endeavor hater, are not going to put any good faith effort into understanding what i’m saying at all. i am noting now that i do not owe you any kind of explanation on my post, nor on my opinion, and i genuinely could not care less about your inability to separate fiction from reality. in fact, i could not care less about your opinion as a whole.
that said, i do love pointing out when people intentionally misconstrue what i say, so let’s dive into this anyway, shall we? (as an aside, i do think it’s amusing that you sent this on anon. if you really think you’re justified in your opinion and not intentionally misreading my post, then why not come out and say that openly? interesting)
here we go: in my post, i did not ever say touya loved his father “too much”. i think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of what i meant about him having “an excess”. let me explain—
as someone with very intense emotions myself (pretty much everything i feel is either 0 or 100 with no in-between), what i mean by “an excess” is a level of obsession and fixation that yes, is harmful. no emotion is healthy when it is felt at such an extreme, ok? even the “positive” ones. an excess of love (obsession) can lead to all sorts of behaviors that do not benefit the giver or receiver.
if you want a different canonical example of this, look at seasons 1-2 izuku midoriya and how he feels about all might. he is obsessive, passionate, admiring, and yes—those feelings do benefit him in a lot of ways, but as gran torino observes during izuku’s internship, that admiration also holds him back. he’s fixated on doing things the way all might does them, on doing things to make all might proud, and as a result, he doesn’t realize his true potential. (this occurs again in s3 when he discovers he can use his legs)
this is also reflected in touya. he loves his father, yes! but there is (in his case) a level of obsession with said father (especially his hero identity) that ultimately harms touya (because it drives his need to be greater which in turn causes him to self-harm via his quirk).
nothing in my post was victim-blaming at all. it is not touya’s fault that enji responded poorly and neglected him. it’s not even his fault that he feels things with such intensity. the tragedy of it is that his intense love was not reciprocated in a way he could understand. as the tags on my original post said, “the problem has always been love mishandled, not missing love”. the love was there—it always has been, but touya did not know how to receive his father’s love, and his father in turn did not understand touya’s own.
beyond the red-flag goggles of endeavor hate, i’m really not sure how you misunderstood my post so badly, given that the central themes of it were A) touya suffered a different kind of abuse than shouto (neglect, not physical violence), and B) enji and touya have always had love for each other, but were never able to have that love expressed or felt properly (because touya’s required validation, and all enji wanted was for him to stop hurting himself).
anyway. if you’ve read this far and are interested in having an actual discussion about this, i’d be happy to talk more. goodness knows i love thinking about the todoroki family. however, if your only intention is to come at this from an anti-endeavor lens and purposefully misread everything i say for the sake of being rude, then you might as well not waste your time. you are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but i promise that there are better things you could be doing on a monday night (or whatever time it is for you) than trying to pick a fight with a stranger on the internet.
thanks for the ask! :)
#kats asks#kats answers#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#endeavor#dabi#enji todoroki#touya todoroki#todoroki family#kats rants#kats rambles#anon ask#anonymous ask#it always cracks me up when people write up asks like this because how are you going to be so confidently incorrect about what i say#let’s put our thinking caps on shall we#for those of you who don’t know#i put a lot of value in semantics#so do not come in my inbox putting words in my mouth#you will not win that argument#also please for my sake and yours go read my intro post (specifically the disclaimer at the bottom) before interacting with me#especially if you’re going to try and pick a fight#i reserve the right to call you an idiot
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I don’t know how I never played any of the Nancy Drew games as a kid, I love point and click and I love Nancy drew and I would have been all over them!! My sister and I are playing through them together now and it is just an absolute joy. (She is however much better at puzzles than me so idk maybe they would have frustrated me as a kid)
Also it’s giving me some inspo to ~actually~ practice drawing and backgrounds etc. so anyway here’s treasure in the royal tower WIPS. I really want to do some actual illustrations from these games.
Also Evelyn/gabsmolders streams are just prime content for background comfort noise when pain flares or fatigue keep me in bed.
#I really don’t know why I picked that spot in the castle as a background study#there’s way too much detail so idk if I’ll actually colour it#also it’s blizzarding right now and the vibes of tower fit so love that for me#I am also strugggling with dexter and I think it’s cause of bias cause he’s my favourite#TRT#treasure in the royal tower#nancy drew#nancy drew pc games#also designing covers/posters or something for these games would be such a fun thing to do#I wanna do fun typography again I don’t get as much of a chance to do that at work#and like#nancy drew games#her interactive#I don't think this counts as character design really cause i'm just going off of reference.#character art#character design#but like#loose#my art <3#gab smolders#Hotchkiss#sketchbook
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I Put a Spell on You (Because You’re Mine)
Roxanne “Roxy” Rose/Samira Darcy | 1.1k words | IF: Can’t Save Your Love From Dying
God, Samira really doesn’t want to come. Doesn’t want to give Roxanne the satisfaction of making her come, not after the shit she pulled today. She wants to maintain her composure. Say in a sure tone, “Sorry, baby. You just don’t do it for me anymore.”
But Roxanne is fucking into her like her life depends on it. Working her up and tearing her down with each snap of her hips with such ease that it’s almost embarrassing. It is embarrassing.
More than embarrassing, it’s fucking annoying.
And it’s not even fair because Roxanne knows her body so well. She knows every place to linger, where to push, where to pull. Samira becomes absolutely certain she’s fighting a losing battle when she feels Roxanne getting that angle, hitting that spot and instantly something in her stomach is pulling taut and her head’s tilting back and she swears she’s seeing fucking stars behind her eyelids—
And then she’s there, at the tip of the spear. The piercing is sharp and sudden, but it just doesn’t stop. She can feel herself—distantly, very distantly—making a mess of the toy, of Roxanne’s thighs. Even then Roxanne—her lover, her worst enemy, her fucking baby—doesn’t stop working her through it, whispering downright filthy things in her ear until she’s all spent and boneless. And then Samira has to physically halt anymore movement because of the discomfort.
Fuck, she thinks with her sweaty forehead pressed against Roxanne’s shoulder, that’s probably the hardest I’ve ever come.
Roxanne, then: “I think that’s the hardest—“
Samira shuts her up with a searing kiss.
Later that night—or the next morning. Sometime in that nebulous period where one day melts into another, whatever—they find themselves still wrapped up in each other. Bed sheets slung across them, warding off the worst of the chill.
Samira loves it. Luxuriates in the ease of it. These moments somehow always feel the most real. Or the most normal, at least. Whatever normal even means anymore. Those moments when Roxanne’s eyes are unfocused due to sheer exhaustion rather than whatever concoction of drugs and alcohol she’s consumed. Where she gets to have Roxanne all to herself. No pathetic screaming fans or annoying bandmates looking to touch, to harass, to demand attention. Nothing to tempt Roxanne away. Just them. The way it should be.
“I didn’t know it’d get this bad.” Samira starts, whispered voice breaking up the silence. Outside, somewhere below, she hears a car horn. Then a siren. The amalgam of city life drifting into the penthouse at a low hum. None of it can touch them from this high up. Not really. Not now. Samira shuffles back with some intent until she feels Roxanne’s arms tighten around her. Smothering. Secure. “Didn’t think I’d let it.”
“What,” Roxanne mumbles from behind, voice thick with sleep. “What are you talking about?”
“When we first met…” Samira continues on, only distantly registering the question. This is more for her than it is for Roxanne anyhow. Aimless stream of consciousness, whispered aloud in the dead of night. “I did get the impression that you could ruin me, but I figured it’d be a matter of me allowing it to happen. I mostly thought I could—well, this sounds bad, and change you isn’t even necessarily the right wording—but—”
“Fix me, then?” Roxanne cuts in, voice a little more lucid now.
“You’re not broken.” Samira deigns to respond this time, her tone resolute. “Misguided. Misguided, definitely. But not broken.” Not yet.
“Fine,” Samira feels the heat of Roxanne’s breath against her nape as she huffs out the word. “You thought you could… what? Mother me into being one of the many upstanding, reasonable, boring rockstars who go to bed at 9pm and eat quinoa salads or whatever. Is that it?”
Samira rolls her eyes at the heat behind the words, because that really hadn’t been the point she was trying to make at all. She ignores her sarcasm to focus on the part that catches her attention.
“Is that what you think I do?” Samira shifts, suddenly regretting her decision to respond at all. “Mother you?”
Roxanne is silent for a moment, two, then: “Well, you do like being called—“
“One time! That was one fucking time and I just wanted to see - stop laughing!” Samira defends, though relishing in the feel of Roxanne’s laughter vibrating against her back.
Samira has always loved her laughter. Always. Even when it’s the cruel kind. She’s told her this before, she thinks, on one of those late nights where she stayed up long enough to watch her coming down from whatever she took. She loves the look of it on her mouth, the way it sounds. Loves swallowing it up with a kiss, licking the edges of it with her tongue.
“I don’t mean to hurt you, baby.” Roxanne says once her laughter has calmed down. Voice faltering a little like she’s drifting off again. “Just wanna have fun.”
Maybe Samira could stand it better if she knew Roxanne hurt her on purpose as some sick form of entertainment. It’s better than her doing it repeatedly on accident. The idea that their lives are so incongruent, that they are so incompatible as people, that just by virtue of Roxanne being who she is Samira is the one who ends up getting hurt…
Samira eschews the thought. She knows—knows deeply, without doubt—that she could make this work. That if Roxanne simply listened to her once in a while that she could get them on track. There’s nothing Samira wouldn’t do to make her happy. Really, truly happy. A happiness that could be maintained even after the drugs wore off. Roxanne just has to let her.
Roxanne’s arms start to slip away from her, sleep loosening her hold or just general restlessness. Either way, Samira tightens her grip over the arm still slung around her, stilling the movement. Forces herself to ease up a little once she realizes her nails are digging into Roxanne’s skin. Rubs her thumb over the indents they leave.
Roxanne, now deep in slumber, doesn’t even twitch. Samira releases a sigh and allows her eyes to slip closed.
#don’t actually know what this is. I just started writing and didn’t stop lol#samira’s obsessive freak behavior on partial display#part of me thinks that Samira just imagined that whole interaction#like it was just her train of thought being presented as a conversation between them or something idk whatever#that’s my reasoning if R seems ooc in this lmao#r randomly picking a non celeb to date and chooses Samira out of everyone is so funny to me#how do you come home from the shelter with the one dog that hasn’t gotten their rabies shot#I have so many thoughts about themmmm#50% of the time Samira is like ‘IM a good person! r just ruined me:( I’m helpless to stop it!! she turns me into someone I’m not:((‘#and the other 50% she’s like: ‘actually R h just needs guidance. MY guidance. everyone else is corrupting them.#she just needs someone who understands her and will take care of her!’#so… yeah#alexa play i bet on losing dogs by mitski#it’s their theme song fr#super excited to get to know more about mc’s past/how they met and everything#if: csylfd#can’t save your love from dying#mc: samira darcy (csylfd)#+ roxanne/ronan 🫂 (csylfd)#my fics
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