#This makes me think of someone in particular..

[anonf1writer]

Lando gives you his 4 tally mark necklace so everyone knows you're his 😍

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written. 3,1k words. warning: suggestive language. +18. note: this took me almost two months to get done. I'm so, so sorry! I hope you're still around to read it, and I hope I didn't disappoint. Thanks for the request, it means a lot to me!

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The context of your relationship with Lando was easy to describe: you two had met through mutual friends less than a year ago, started casually hooking up right away, and had been officially dating for over six months now.

Giving the nature of Lando’s occupation, and the attention his every move got, things were still pretty private between you, meaning that the general public new nothing about your existence yet. Or of what was happening behind closed doors. Like the fact that you had met each other’s families, that you were comfortable around each other’s friends, and that at this point your visits to his apartment had been frequent enough for you to consider his place a little bit yours, too.

For the most part, when he was traveling and busy being a Formula 1 driver, you spent your time at your own place, doing your own thing. But on those weekends when he was back, or during those rare two or three days off in between races, you joined him in a blink of an eye. No invitation needed—not anymore. Both always on the same page when it came to making the most of it, as in everything, together.

On that particular Monday night, the one that set this storyline into motion, it wasn’t any different. You and Lando were at home, his home that was slowly becoming your home, and one of your closest friends was over for some wine and food. The two of you enjoying each other’s company in the living room, laughing and gossiping on the couch, while Lando distracted himself and livestreamed with his own friends behind closed doors. Nothing big, nothing new.

Sometimes, as you two blabbered and laughed, he would pop out of the room to get a snack, to go to the restroom, or just to check up on you. Just to say hello. To make a silly joke and move on. Never a big deal. Never anything that interrupted the conversation that was going on between you and your friend. Not even when the topic shifted to your new co-worker, a guy who had joined the company you worked at less than three weeks ago, and had quickly developed a not-so-subtle crush on you.

“What about that guy from work?” your friend asked, synced with the opening of Lando’s game room door. “Is he still texting you at random hours?”

Busy chewing the last remains of your pizza, you just grimaced and shook your head. Then watched Lando cross the living room and disappear into the kitchen.

“I think…” you said, then stopped to swallow the food, “I think he finally got the message.”

“Good...” Your friend nodded, and took a sip of her wine. “What was his name again?”

“Vincent.”

Mimicking her earlier movements, you leaned in and grabbed your half-finished glass from the coffee table. And then, as you were sitting back and bringing the wine to your lips, a tiny snort left your nose, and you shook your head. All to yourself.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing... He just followed me on insta the other day.”

“Shut up...”

“Mhm…”

You sipped more of your wine, watching your friend frown as you did so.

“How did he even find you?”

“I don’t know…” You shrugged. “But he did, and then he liked a bunch of my older pictures.”

“Noooo!”

“Yeah…”

“Oh my God! Can a guy ever read the room?”

A soft chuckle left your mouth.

“I didn’t follow him back tho, so again, I think he got the message.”

“He knows you’ve got a boyfriend, right?”

You shrugged again, then shuffled on the couch, pulling your legs up and making yourself comfortable.

“Everyone at the office knows, so maybe someone told him? I don’t know.”

“Wait, so you didn’t tell him?”

“I  didn’t even tell him my name, let alone the fact that I’m dating someone I can’t really talk about.”

Your friend rolled her eyes, and then sighed. “Look, I think it’s lovely how consistent you two are on keeping each other a secret, but just this once I think you should tell him you’re dating and therefore not available.”

At that, it was your time to roll your eyes. “Or... He could realize I’ve done nothing to suggest I’m interest and back off because I don’t want him.”

“Right,” she laughed. “You’re talking about a guy that’s been acting like a creep.”

“Exactly. So if he bothers me again, I’ll raise a complaint to HR for harassing.”

You changed the topic after that, and a few minutes later Lando stepped out of the kitchen, the salad he had ordered in hands. He paused to chat a bit with you two, then kissed your temple and made his way back to the game room.

Eventually, your friend said goodbye and left Lando’s apartment, and you took a moment to clean up the mess left behind. Lando was still busy in his own world, his loud laughter vibrating through the walls and making you laugh along from time to time.

It was on your way to the bedroom that you decided to stop by. Just to let him know.

You knocked on the door once, and then another two times—the code you had unintentionally created to avoid interrupting his livestream and getting caught on camera.

“Yeah?” he shouted, but you knew better than shout back at him. Instead, you cracked the door open slightly. Barely. Only enough for you to peek inside and glance at him.

Lando’s eyes were already waiting for you, his head turned to the side while he fully leaned back into his chair.

“Heyyy…” he breathed out, lips curling up into the cutest, softest smile while he stretched his arms up in the air.

“Hey...” you whispered back, lips curling up as well.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing,” you said quietly. “Just saying hi before I get to bed.”

Lando dropped his arms and placed his hands on his lap, then tilted his chin towards the computer.

“It’s muted,” he said. “No need to be quiet.”

You raised your eyebrows, not changing the volume of your voice as you answered, “That’s what you said last time.”

Lando’s smile got bigger, and his eyes wrinkled at the sides. Mischief and playfulness taking all over his expression at the mention of that chaotic memory—when a female voice laughed loudly in the background of an allegedly muted livestream and caused a very serious online meltdown.

“I checked twice,” Lando said, turning back to the camera and giving a thumbs up. “Right, chat? You can’t hear me right now, can ya?”

He leaned in, then, squeezing his eyes to the screen.

“See? They are all lecturing me. Lando, we can’t hear you. Mic’s off, Lando. Lando turn your mic on. Lan—”

“Okay, okay.” You rolled your eyes and pressed your temple against the frame, but a soft chuckle still left your chest at his silliness. “Got it, yeah.”

He leaned back and turned his head to you, smugness written all over him. “Told ya. I learn from my mistakes.”

He winked. And, once again, you raised your eyebrows.

“They can still see tho, can’t they? So don’t get cocky.”

“You’ve barely opened the door,” he laughed. “Not even I can see you, I doubt they’ll be able to.”

“Yeah? Just watch them read your lips or start analysing who you’re talking to so late at night.”

“C’mon…” he laughed again. Head tilting back as he faced the ceiling. “Don’t be si—”

“Ooookay…” you snorted and stepped back from the door, a little too tired to get into one of his playful arguments. “I’ll save you from finishing that sentence.”

“What? C’mon… I’m just teasing.”

“I know. You’re having fun while I’m worried trying to protect your wishes. Then tomorrow you’ll be snapping at me because someone found out you’re not alone and I’ll have to watch you overthink while trying to find ways to prove I don’t exist.”

The world paused around you.

Time paused inside the room.

You watched the moment his face fell. How his expression changed along with the drop of his shoulders. As if some unknown truth had been thrown at him.

And just like that, regret dawned on you, a tight knot twisting low in your gut as you tried to make sense of your words. Of your abrupt change of mood.

You looked down to your feet and sighed, your voice coming out like a whisper when you spoke again. “Sorry… I don’t know why I said that.”

Lando nodded.

You noticed his movements, the way he turned back to his computer and leaned forward to reach his keyboard. How he typed, then clicked a few things, and then how everything went off. Heavy silence easily filling the room.

“C’mere,” he said, once again leaning back into his chair, then fully turning it towards you. You looked up, meeting his eyes, and Lando tilted his head slightly to the side. “Please?” He stretched his arm to you. “I’m not streaming anymore, I promise.”

You checked the screen, just to be sure, then dropped your arms to your sides and sighed. Embarrassment taking over your chest—and flushing across your neck and cheeks—as you walked towards him.

Lando didn’t wait for you to stand in front of him before reaching out for your waist, hands grabbing your sides and pulling you down to his lap with the easiness of someone who had pulled that move hundreds of times before.

You gasped, even squealed a little, a smile curving your mouth as you adjusted yourself to sit on his thighs. Body to the side and legs hanging in the air. Arms circling around his neck. Eyes settling inside his gaze.

Silent.

Comfortable.

Easy.

“Sorry,” you said. Again. “Didn’t mean to snap.”

“I know,” Lando smiled, placing your hair behind your ear, then cradling your cheek. “I never tried to prove you don’t exist. You know that, right?”

“Of course, yeah.”

“Is it how I make you feel, tho? Like I’m trying to hide you or something?”

“No... C’mon... I understand why you’re so... Protective. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Ok…” He nodded, arms settling around your waist, pulling you a bit closer to him. “Just making sure.”

“Sorry for making you end the stream.”

Lando smiled. “Thank you for making me end the stream.”

A smile grew on your face, too.

There was a pause, in which he held your stare in silence as he moved one hand to the back of your neck.

“C’mere,” he said, then pulled you in, his lips brushing over yours once, then twice. Slowly. Softly. As if it was the first time he was getting a taste of them. As if he wasn’t really sure he was allowed to do that.

Your chest fluttered, and you leaned into him. Melted into him. Eyes falling shut and hands moving to curl tightly around his jumper. To hold onto its neckline like you were afraid he would suddenly stop and leave. Like he could vanish.

A low, contented hum escaped him, almost like he didn’t mean it. Like he couldn’t help it. Like he was melting into you, too. Hand pressing on the nape of your neck and arm anchoring around your waist, guiding the pace while he tilted his head and deepened the kiss.

You exhaled through your nose and followed his lead. Stomach flipping and thoughts blurring. Getting lost into the tenderness and casually of it. Into how personal, intimate, and affectionate it felt. How soft, how steady, how electric it was. The way he moved, the way he sounded, the way he tasted. How he treated you with respect and carefulness, like you were the most delicate and precious thing in the world, and yet made you feel breathless and powerless, like you could die if you didn’t get more of it. Of him. Or this.

And then, Lando pulled away. Panting. Hand still holding the back of your head and lips still brushing yours when he asked, “Who’s Victor?”

Your lips searched for him, unwillingly. Automatically. Your body craving for more before his words clicked inside your mind.

He didn’t stop you, kissing you back and allowing your mouths to ghost over each other as you spoke between kisses. Never quite gone.

“Victor?” you asked.

“Mhmm…” His nose bumped against yours, and he slipped his hand between your hair, making sure you wouldn’t lose the pace.

“I don’t… Hmm… I don’t know… Shit… Who’s Victor?”

“I don’t know…” he repeated. “Someone that’s been hitting on my girlfriend… Or so I’ve heard…”

You blinked your eyes open and flinched back. Just an inch. As far as he allowed you to. Only enough to meet his eyes.

“What?”

Lando shrugged, and you licked your lips. Trying to gather your thoughts. Trying to make sense of what the heck was going on.

“You mean Vincent?”

He rolled his eyes and pulled you back in, his lips barely touching yours before he was tilting your head back and moving them down your jaw.

“Potato, patahto,” he murmured, his warm breath hitting your neck while he kept smothering your skin. Your throat. “Still hitting on my girlfriend.”

A smirk grew on your lips, and you closed your eyes, feeling his lips kissing your sensitive spots. Feeling his tongue getting its own taste, his teeth grazing right behind.

“Didn’t know you were listening to us...”

“Was I supposed not to?”

He sucked onto your sweet spot, and you gasped. Thighs clenching and fingers twisting even tighter around his jumper.

“Fuck…” you breathed out.

“I know…” Lando murmured, brushing the tip of his nose up and down the same spot. “I wonder how many until I leave a mark…”

“You never leave any…”

“Maybe I should start…”

He kissed you again, softly, moving his mouth and making sure no inch would go unattended.

Heat built low in your belly, slow and relentless, and you shuffled on his lap—even though the position you were in didn’t allow you to feel much of him.

“Jealous?” you managed to ask.

Lando snorted and pulled away, guiding your head so you would look at him.

“Just annoyed… Pissed, actually… Why is some random guy texting you and going through your photos? Who the fuck does he think he is?”

You smiled, hands loosening up around his clothing and moving up through the back of his neck. Fingers tangling with his curls as you said, “Someone who stopped texting after I left him on read, and who never got a follow back from me…”

“Hm…” He leaned into your touch, eyes fluttering shut while you ran your nails up and down his scalp. “Can’t say I’m not happy to hear that.”

You chuckled. “Did you think I’d react differently?”

“No…” he said, eyes meeting yours again. “But as confident in our relationship as I am, can’t ever get too comfortable, can I?”

You tilted your head, not really knowing what to say at that.

Thankfully, Lando didn’t give you too much time to think about it before he added, “Don’t want him to think you’re single, tho.”

“We don’t know if he thinks that.”

“Then I want to make sure he knows you’re taken.”

You smiled. “I’m taken, huh?”

Lando rolled his eyes, hands sliding down your spine while he stretched his back and got taller underneath you.

“You’re mine,” he said, voice an octave lower and fingers reaching to the hem of your sweater. “Just like I’m yours. Yeah?”

You nodded, curling your body to place your forehead against his. Feeling his bare touch pressing on your lower back, warm and needy.

“Yeah... You know I am… Yours.”

“I know… I want him to know, tho. Not just him, everyone.”

“Lan…” you sighed. “If this is because of what I said, you don’t have to—”

“Not saying this because of what happened,” he said. “I’m saying it because I love you and because you’re beautiful and I don’t want stupid wankers hitting on you when I’m not around.”

“Well… That’s not really fair, is it? I can’t stop girls from hitting on you while you’re not around.”

“Babe, not one single girl has flirted or—”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Loudly enough that you had to bring one hand to cover your mouth.

Lando smiled. And you noticed how something softened inside him. How he dropped his shoulders. How his touch went from greedy to affectionate. Still pulling you closer, still holding you in place, but with a different intention behind it.

 “I mean it, tho,” he said. “I don’t want to keep hiding it anymore. I heard when you said I’m someone you can’t really talk about, and I don’t want you to feel that. I want you to say ‘I’ve got a boyfriend’ and throw my name into a conversation if you feel like it. Just… Y’know… Want it to be natural.”

You pressed your lips together and sighed, pushing the playfulness aside to understand the seriousness of what he was suggesting with that.

“Okay… But just so you know, this feels natural to me. I don’t have to say ‘my boyfriend Lando Norris’ for me to talk about you. People who know me know I’m not single, the only reason why I haven’t told Vincent it’s because I haven’t really sat to chat with him. He saw me twice and decided it would be a good idea to get my number without even asking me about it.”

“Fucking idiot.” 

“Right?”

“Can’t really blame him, though… Kinda hard to look at you and not to fall in love.”

“Oh my God…” You rolled your eyes, but also smiled, shoving his shoulder playfully before hugging his neck. “Shut up.”

He did as you told, busying himself by kissing you instead of talking again.

From then on, the kissing melted into something more. The chair becoming uncomfortable to hold so much want and so much need from both of you, and your touches and steps guiding you blindly to his bedroom. To your bedroom. To your bed. Clothes getting lost along the way.

“I love you,” he said, over and over again.

Stealing your breath away.

Making you forget your name.

How you got there in the first place.

Until you were shaking and falling on top of him, his hips digging and pushing until he got the last bit of pleasure out of you. Of him. Of both.

Erratic. Intense. Everything.

The next morning, Lando left earlier than you. You didn’t even hear him, didn’t even feel him. Tangled and sprawled in the sheets. Blissfully happy. Satisfied.

You saw it when your alarm went off, though. His tally mark necklace, his number four shining in the sunlight. Right on top of his pillow. And a post it right in between the two.

For you. So everyone knows you’re mine ;) Love you. LN.

And that’s how it happened.

That’s how you ended up clasping his necklace around your neck.

And that’s how now, every time you think of him, you bring your hand to your chest and hold onto him. How you know he’s always there, like a part of you. Loving you. Whether everyone knows it...

Or not.

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[katanahime]

Reading Bernard as Queer in his Early Comics

Bernard Dowd is, frankly, VERY easy to read as queer way before he started actually dating Tim Drake, and right back to his literal introduction in which he is quite literally checking Tim out, let's not lie. Followed by a lot of stuff that can be read as flirting.

But to me the most definitive moment that I point to is actually when he implies that he thinks Tim is gay, and it's because of the way he says it.

"We're two modern, enlightened men in the third millennium, Drake. No need to make up imaginary girlfriends." [Robin #123]

Tim has at this point rejected Darla, certified hottest girl in school, explaining that he already had a girlfriend, Stephanie, and he's happy with her. Neither Darla nor Bernard believe him (Darla thinking the reason he lies is because he's afraid of her mob boss dad, interestingly also revealed to be a reason Bernard told her for why guys don't ask her out in general), and with Bernard here thinking she's a cover for Tim being gay.

And while that certainly isn't an odd thing for a straight guy to assume, when you think about straight boys in the early 00's, I'm sure you'd know pretty well that this would come out more directly like "what, are you gay?"

And Bernard in particular does not have a history of beating around the bush about accusations he isn't actually sure are true. Like when he just went "admit you have an abusive father who beats you" about Tim's black eye.

What he actually says accomplishes three things.

One is clearly implies that he thinks Tim is gay without actually saying the word, which is kind of inherent to this time period's queer culture when talking in public spaces.

Second is that he indicates he is a safe person to tell.

And third, and most importantly for this particular essay, he indicates he is part of the same category.

Now I'm sure someone could argue that what he's actually saying is "we're both not the type of people who would CARE if someone's gay", but I think that falls apart in the context of using this sentence to tell Tim he thinks he is.

Because how do you backtrack from that if Tim was like, "yes, you too?"

And I think the answer is that you don't.

My best guess for if Bill Willingham really didn't intend Bernard to be queer is that he only avoided the word "gay" and phrased it this way because in the public medium of comics he didn't want Bernard to come off as rude as actual teenage boys would to avoid complaints. (Or editorial stopped him.)

But whether intended or not, Bernard declares himself queer here.

And so when people are curious as to "Why Bernard?" in the subject of out of all the guys Tim was close with, for one to be chosen to end up dating him, I point to this.

It's this.

This this this this THIS

And so we get blessed with this smug asshole (affectionate):

[Tim Drake: Robin #7]

And I love him

[yuurivoice]

Man what the fuck do you mean we are getting into another goddamn war in the middle east over nukes our own intelligence can't seem to agree on the existence of? What in the Now That's What I Call 2000's kind of bullshit is this???

There are clear and obvious consequences and concerns here, but something that strikes me is how the timing of this is set to galvanize the angry young men in the States who are poor and unable to find their role in the workforce and will be preyed upon by recruiters to go play soldier when they're better fit to be a goddamn electrician but you don't get a signing bonus for going into a trade like you do when signing up to go get shot at.

They've been fed so much bullshit, and a war will help solidify their half baked beliefs about the world because they'll be looking at it through range finders and scopes.

Muhammad Ali had a particular quote about a certain word no Viet Cong ever called him. That quote made so much goddamn sense to me, I was a kid at the time when I first heard it. But damn. We really are about to send off some kids to war while their kin are liable to get kidnapped by ICE, shit, they'll cook up a "service for citizenship" process and act like it's a fucking gift.

Tired of brown folks getting demonized, displaced, and slaughtered. Tired of watching the ignorant think any of these recent events make them exempt or safe from fascism. Heartbroken to see how cold and hard-hearted the average American can be. It's painful to see propaganda work over time. To see the anti-authoritarian homies from two decades ago succumb to boot licking and cult of personality politics.

Had to come back at 5am to finish writing this because I wrote myself to sleep around midnight trying to make sense of it all. And the thing is, hate doesn't make sense. Somewhere along the way, some insidious thing tipped the scales and people became incurious and fearful instead of inquisitive and hungry to learn.

How are we supposed to win back the minds of people who are so entrenched in their hate that they can cheer for atrocities and injustices? How could any of those who have been wronged set aside their righteous anger and fury long enough to be bothered trying to flip the point of view of someone who could be so cruel? That is too much to ask.

There's no way this is the endgame, right? That humanity becomes so calloused and hateful that we choke ourselves on petty differences and ignorance as our planet dies out while we suffocate in the blaze of it all. Have we failed so often for so long that it'll only be in our last gasps that we realize how foolish we've become?

It feels unhelpful to wonder these things out loud, but on the other hand, maybe it's a comfort for others to see that anyone can be bothered to wonder these things at all at this point.

If we have passed the event horizon and it's just a matter of time, the best we can do is try to support those who need it and love each other. Feed the connections to those who bring you joy and laughter. Embrace loving people, and even if shit gets really, really grim...trust that love endures. It will outlast and overcome hate every time. Even if it's a naive, childish sentiment, that's where I'm putting what little faith I have to spare. When some strange creature seeks to understand what happened to us when we are all long gone, I hope they see that in the ashes they'll find the bones of those who chose to embrace one another as the darkness approached. Let them gaze in wonder at the human capacity to love.

Take care of yourselves. 💖

[neosaidwhoa]

This reminds me of how the founders era sub fandom is the Naruto equivalent of the marauders sub fandom LMAOOO i love the collective creative power of fanon.

I really don’t think fanon is bad and I really don’t think death of the fandom is necessary though? And this is coming from someone who gets personally annoyed by some mainstream fandom mischaracterizations sometimes. Fandom and fanon is usually just a reflection of the kind of people who are in it. But I agree with your recommendation to not limit yourself to popular fanon trends.

I disagree with the statement that “the most authentic enjoyment of media comes from liking it for what it is and not what it *could* be”. I actually think imagining things beyond canon for “what it could be” is inherently an extremely authentic way to enjoy media. Transformative fan work that adds to or strays from canon is very important and meaningful for a lot of different reasons.

Also, I think context matters a lot for this conversation, maybe if I knew where you were coming from with these frustrations I would agree haha. I think for me, current mainstream Naruto fanon is very warped from the source material but I know that and enjoy some of it anyways, and I really enjoy the parts of fandom that think and write critically about both the source material and the fanon. Most of the people I choose to interact with also seem to enjoy both?

Ah, maybe my disagreement just comes from what I was thinking the definition of fanon is. I was thinking of fanon to mean “non-canon elements that are popularly accepted and used by fandom”, so it’s a given that fanon is not actually what happened. I realized maybe you were thinking of fanon to mean “non-canon elements that fandom popularly believes/insists is canon”? I would agree that I’d advise against trying to assert that fanon is canon. I’d recommend people not take fanon as truth and to study the source material itself if you’re interested in knowing what’s canon. I think this is what you were saying in your post, so I’m guessing you meant the second definition and I misunderstood you.

Anyways, all this makes me think of the Achilles and Patroclus top/bottom discourse that’s been spanning millennia (more specially discourse about their place in the erastes/eromenos dynamic) lol. The idea that they had sex or had this dynamic at all is fanon since it’s never said outright in the canon text they were referencing. But I’m glad all that fanon existed and exists and so much of the fandom activity around that particular element of fanon has been preserved for us to read about today.

death of the author yeah whatever but death of the fandom is so integral to enjoying legitimately anything like that is just a necessary step to take in ur head always. do not let them affect the text in any way exterminate them all with ur death ray. they r not real and cannot hurt u

[trans-axolotl]

hi! do you or your followers have any recommendations or suggestions on ways to get more politically organised when you're very chronically ill and mainly bedbound / housebound?

im truly at a loss of what to do now because i cannot do the usual protest attending, mutual aid fundraiser event hosting, even making food for friends that are struggling. i sign petitions and try to keep friends updated with news but its not enough

Hi anon! Super important question. I have a few thoughts on possible ways to get more involved in organizing while you're bedbound/housebound. A lot of my suggestions are shaped by the context of me mostly doing organizing in largeish US cities, and I also know that a lot of what's possible depends on your own personal access needs/energy levels/etc. feel free to let me know if nothing i suggest is accessible for your situation and I can try to brainstorm some other ways of getting involved!

Joining an organization like Crips for Esims for Gaza that works to directly support Palestinians and needs help with online logistics work like handling donations, buying Esims, and connecting people. Their email is listed in the article to get in contact.

Prisoner solidarity support! This could look like writing cards or letters for incarcerated people, or helping out with a books to prisoners program. Survived and Punished has a guide on how to write letters, Black and Pink has an LGBTQ prison penpal program, and if you search "prisoner penpal program" in your area you can probably find something local to you. The Prison Library Support Network is a great online based organization that works as a reference library for incarcerated people, and has people do research (sometimes just by searching on Google!) to answer information questions sent by incarcerated people. They have regular online trainings about how to participate as a volunteer, the next one is on July 13th.

Listening in on police scanners when there are protests happening in your area, and giving live updates to protesters, either in a Signal message thread or just by posting live updates on twitter/bluesky. This can be super helpful so that people on the ground can get information about what the cops are doing and can try to avoid getting kettled/arrested/etc.

Adding alt text and video captions to social media content about protests, news, protest safety infographics, etc to ensure that this kind of content is accessible to everyone.

If you have access to a printer and ink, printing out things like know your rights cards, radical zines, flyers, etc. a lot of orgs i've been part of haven't had easy access to a printer and would have been SO thrilled if someone reached out to us and said "Hi I can't participate in other ways but I have a printer and I'm happy to print stuff for you when you need!"

Creating plain language translations of news, political concepts, etc. Autism against Fascism is a group that makes plain language articles about fascism and antifascism, and I think there are so many topics surrounding protests, oppression, organizing, etc for which it would be incredibly helpful to have plain language resources.

Online fundraising for a particular cause by making social media posts. You could spotlight a campaign from a family in Gaza and commit to making posts and boosting their campaign. If you have a hobby that you already spend energy on, you could do something like raffling off your art, or doing a video game stream to raise money.

Researching resources in your area and making a mutual aid reference document to help people connect to resources. For example, @tigerrsmn has an amazing trans resource directory that they spent a lot of work researching and continually update. This can be a super helpful community resource to create and share if there isn't something like it for your area yet.

The next few suggestions are ones that require more energy or might require leaving the house so I know they might not be at all relevant for you, but I also got another ask about ways to participate when you're a disabled person who can't risk getting arrested at protests and I wanted to combine the asks in one post.

In person jail support. This usually happens right after a protest where people have gotten arrested and can go into the night or the next day. People show up outside the jail with food, cigs, water, subway cards or cash, and wait for people to get released from jail. This might be more accessible to some people because it's low risk, stays in one spot, and you can sit down the whole time if needed.

Kit making for a harm reduction group. A lot of harm reduction groups in my city have monthly kit making nights where we meet up at a local bookstore and put safer use supplies in individual kits for people to give out at outreach.

Cooking for a mutual aid group, either at a community kitchen or at your own kitchen to create meals for people to hand out at outreach. I highly recommend Food not Bombs if there's a local FNB group in your area.

Creating "Don't get Kettled" maps for your city so that protestors can plan better routes where they can avoid police kettles. This can be done through a combination of looking for google street view and showing up to places in person to look for streets with easy pedestrian exits, accessible exits with no stairs, curb cuts, avoiding dead ends, tunnels, etc.

Cop Watch, Court Watch, ICE Watch. Joining networks of people who keep an eye out in your neighborhood and share information to rapid response networks about when cops and ICE are spotted. Participate in Court Watch by going to in person or virtual court hearings to observe, document, and address injustice in local courts. DC has a really robust CourtWatch program that you could learn from to set up something in your area if a courtwatch program doesn't already exist in your region.

This is definitely not a complete list so followers please feel free to add on with suggestions, and definitely feel free to reach out again with more info/questions and I can try to keep brainstorming!

[dreamqueenmab]

An in-depth too long analysis of odyssey! Telemachus’s sexism and the role that translation plays in it + mother-son relationship analysis

Ah, canon Homer Telemachus. Ithaca’s batshit pissed off prince. Recently I’ve been seeing some takes on telemachus that make my heart sad, so I’m going to blab about my interpretation of him in Homer's odyssey. Not epic, though I love epic very dearly. While epic! telemachus is a lovely determined boy, OG tele is quite the controversial figure. Namely: the sexist little shit allegations. These allegations are not unfounded, however, as someone who has read wayyy too many translations of the Odyssey, I have a lot of thoughts about Telemachus's behavior and the way it's interpreted. So here’s my extremely deep analysis into Telemachus’s attitude towards his mother in Homer’s original Odyssey.

First thing out of the way: Is Telemachus sexist? Yeah. Quite a bit. It's ancient Ithaca, of course he’s talking about being the man of the house. As much as I love the idea of spartan princess penelope, it’s unfortunately not very viable. When we read the Odyssey today, there’s a ton of shit that does not age well. However, when it comes to Telemachus’s dialogue with his mother, specifically, my interpretation of their relationship is a little different. (Only when it comes to penelope though the maid stuff is a whole other story).

In order to talk about different interpretations of the Odyssey, we’ve got to talk translations. Telemachus’s, and the behavior of characters as a whole, is oftentimes largely dependent on the translator. Case in point: If you read Wilson for example, Telemachus is unabashedly a sexist punk. But if you read Fitzgerald or Pope, he’s really not. And there’s a reason I think the latter are more faithful translations. While I like Wilson’s Odyssey, her goal was to create a very progressive version of the original. She makes a lot of changes to language to call out the problematic nature of the original, and is obviously going to make sexist ideas at the time blatantly more apparent for a modern audience. Nothing wrong with this and at times it's quite lovely, but her translation at times stands out as much, much, different than most of the other translators not only in language, but in intention. Let’s look at a specific passage from the Odyssey, namely the infamous moment Telemachus telling his mother to go inside after she addresses the bard, and from there look at the differences from translation to transaltion not only in what Telemachus says, but Penelope’s reaction.

Wilson: Sullen Telemachus said, “Mother, no, you must not criticize the loyal bard for singing as it pleases him to sing. Poets are not to blame for how things are; Zeus is; he gives to each as is his will. Do not blame Phemius because he told about the Greek disasters. You must know the newest song is always praised the most.  So steel your heart and listen to the song. Odysseus was not the only one who did not come back home again from Troy.  Many were lost. Go in and do your work. Stick to the loom and distaff. Tell your slaves to do their chores as well. It is for men to talk, especially me. I am the master.” That startled her. She went back to her room and took her son’s uneasy words to heart. She went upstairs, along with both her slaves,  and wept there for her dear Odysseus,  until Athena gave her eyes sweet sleep

Oof. Not a good look for Telemachus. Hold your horses though because again, no shade to Wilson, but there are… a lot of things off here. From the first line, “Sullen Telemachus”. Sullen? Wilson is the only person I've seen call him sullen, although tell me if I'm wrong plz, but in nearly every other translation he is always thoughtful. Thoughtful or poised, or clearheaded. That really does show the kind of bias Wilson had when translating, because even though it’s a good translation, I do think this one exchange in particular is very misinterpreted, and at times a bit odd in the wording. Take note of the placement of the word uneasy, which I’ve always found to be fascinating especially compared to other translations. Looking at these translations, it's very clear how different Wilson's is from the rest of them.

Lattimore: Then the thoughtful Telemachos said to her in answer: ‘Why, my mother,  do you begrudge this excellent singer his pleasing himself as the thought drives him? It is not the singers who are to blame, it must be Zeus is to blame, who gives out to men who eat bread, to each and all, the way he wills it. There is nothing wrong in his singing the sad return of the Danaans.  People, surely, always give more applause to that song  which is the latest to circulate among the listeners.  So let your heart and let your spirit be hardened to listen.  Odysseus is not the only one who lost his homecoming day at Troy.  There were many others who perished, besides him.  Go therefore back in the house, and take up your own work,  the loom and the distaff, and see to it that your handmaidens  ply their work also; but the men must see to discussion,  all men, but I most of all. For mine is the power in this household.’  Penelope went back inside the house, in amazement, for she laid the  serious words of her son deep away in her spirit, and she went back to the  upper story with her attendant women,  and wept for Odysseus, her beloved husband,  until gray-eyed Athene cast sweet slumber over her eyelids

Looking at Lattimore, often considered the most accurate, the changes are immediately very obvious. The sexism remains, especially in the latter half, but Telemachus isn’t sullen, and most importantly, the way he addresses her is not disrespectful in the way Wilson’s is. Not what he says, but the manner in which he says it. Wilson’s modern language translation is very brief, and Telemachus as a result sounds harsh, while Lattimore makes it obvious that he is addressing his mother, and in the way that a son respected a mother in ancient Greece, respected her. However, the biggest difference is Penelope’s response. She is not “startled” and his words are not “uneasy”.  In fact, it’s quite the contrary. He’s serious, and she can be interpreted as trusting him and being impressed at his stoicism, and it is fairly clear that she is awed and takes him seriously, and is not hurt by what he says. Also note the difference between “master” and “mine is the power in this household”. One is asserting dominance over his mother specifically, and the other is asserting dominance over his house, which coincidentally has 108 power hungry suitors in it. Huh. As for the sexism, he’s a man in Ancient Greece. Period-typical, BUT I am going to talk about my thoughts on that once we look at all of the translations (well not all of them but the ones we are discussing here).

Fitzgerald: But Telemakhos intervened and said to her: "Mother, why do you grudge our own dear minstrel joy of song, wherever his thought may lead? Poets are not to blame, but Zeus who gives what fate he pleases to adventurous men.  Here is no reason for reproof: to sing the news of the Danaans!  Men like best a song that rings like morning on the ear.  But you must nerve yourself and try to listen. Odysseus was not the only one at Troy never to know the day of his homecoming.  Others, how many others, lost their lives!"  The lady gazed in wonder and withdrew, her son's clear wisdom echoing in her mind.  But when she had mounted to her rooms again with her two handmaids, then she fell to weeping for Odysseus, her husband. Grey-eyed Athena presently cast a sweet sleep on her eyes.

Here we’re getting into a much more nuanced and interesting version of Telemachus and Penelope’s relationship, and this my personal favorite translation of the Odyssey. I adore Fitzgerald's language and highly recommend it. Again, Telemachus is not disrespectful at all to her, and again most importantly, Penelope does not take it that way. “Gazed in wonder and withdrew, her son’s clear wisdom echoing in her mind” Come onnn man. I would argue that this Penelope is much less fragile than Wilson's. She’s not startled at his “uneasy” words (sorry for harping on about that I just hate that word choice), she respects her son. And he respects her. This dynamic is much more interesting, because even though what Telemachus is saying is obviously not the most sensitive, she is not afraid nor resentful, and she sees him as brave and smart instead of rude/scary. (kind of like his father if you're feeling like drawing some parallels) Notable that Fitzgerald completely omits Telemachus’s sexist words here, but even then Telemachus does speak of men very often and bring up Penelope needed to deal with the song like the men do, so he's not completely erasing the hints of patriarchal elements. Now, let’s look at the last, and my personal favorite of this scene, and then finally into my interpretation of Telemachus’s remarks and Penelope’s reaction.

Pope: "Why, dearest object of my duteous love,"  Replied the prince, "will you the bard reprove?  Oft, Jove's ethereal rays (resistless fire)  The chanter's soul and raptured song inspire;  Instinct divine? nor blame severe his choice,  Warbling the Grecian woes with harp and voice:  For novel lays attract our ravish'd ears;  But old, the mind with inattention hears;  Patient permit the sadly-pleasing strain;  Familiar now with grief, your tears refrain, And in the public wo forget your own; You weep not for a perish'd lord alone.  What Greeks now wandering in the Stygian gloom,  With your Ulysses shared an equal doom  Your widow'd hours, apart, with female toil  And various labours of the loom, beguile:  There rule, from palace-cares remote and free;  That care to man belongs, and most to me."  Mature beyond his years, the queen admires  His sage reply, and with her train retires.  Then swelling sorrows burst their former bounds,  With echoing grief afresh the dome resounds;  Till Pallas, piteous of her plaintive cries, In slumber closed her silver-streaming eyes.

Ohh fuck that’s a sexy translation. That's the sexiest translation of all. If you've never read Pope and hate Telemachus, read Pope! I love Pope so much. Not the easiest to get through, but that man knew how to give us emotion. We’ve gone from bitchy sullen Telemachus to “dearest object of my duteous love”. Like?? That's his mom! That's literally the only person he has ever consistently been truly devoted to other than a dad who he's never met! And it goes both ways, like “mature beyond his years” godDAMN that’s so perfect. The reason I think “mature beyond his years” is by far the line that understands their relationship the most is simply because when we look at the context of his situation, let’s try to understand what Telemachus is trying to do. He’s NOT uneasy! He's occasionally pushing her away to show his status to the suitors (although it doesn't really work lmao they don't give a fuck), and she is consistently impressed by it. As for the argument that this is just as inaccurate to the original as Wilson’s, I disagree because there are a lot more common threads that connect Pope, Fitzgerald, and Lattimore than Wilson. The most obvious just in this scene alone is that Penelope is impressed by her son in varying different ways. Consistently when Telemachus tells her to leave and let him have the authority she is quietly impressed or surprised, and looking at the context of the situation we can understand why. Analysis time baybe.

The reason I keep bringing up the time period is because Penelope canNOT really do anything against these suitors. Odysseus is her husband, Telemachus is her son, they can do something. Women in ancient Greece did not have the power to stand up against 108 angry men, and that is reflected in the text. The way I have always interpreted Telemachus’s insistence on being the “man of the house” is that he needs to be. It is essential. If he is not the man of the house, he loses the freaking house. That is why Penelope is impressed here. Why she’s either “in amazement”, “gaz[ing] in wonder”, or “admir[ing] his sage reply” Telemachus is young, and is treated as such. In a lot of the translations he is not yet considered a man. His insistence on being the man of the house, and this scene in particular, imo is him just saying “let me try to take care of this. As the literal only guy left, I have to fill that space and get them to respect me or we are massively screwed." Is it toxic masculinity? Of fucking course! The man has no father in a patriarchal society, the daddy issues are real intense with this one. He has no male authority figure except for suitors who harass his mom, whom he defends constantly. I’m not going to quote anymore so just read the scene where the suitors find out his mom is lying about the loom. They tell him to kick her out and his response is literally “why would i do that that’s stupid” in everything except wilson’s. Telemachus, unfortunate as it is, NEEDS to be the man of the house or get his dad back. That is why his mom is always so impressed with him being bold, because him standing up for himself and asserting power as the man of the house is kind of crazy when you think about how there are 108 men totally willing to kill him in order to get what he is claiming as his own. Mature beyond his years guys! That’s why she says that! I love Pope so much!! Unfortunately when he tries to speak in front of the suitors, they completely shut him down and that’s when he makes his voyage bc he just kind of keeps crying and they do not give a shit lmao. Telemachus is obviously sexist in a lot of ways, all the men in ancient Greece believed that men had more decision making authority than women, but I blatantly disagree that he does not respect his mother. He is desperate to prove himself, to “be a man”, but at the end of the day he protects her and I think there’s something to be noted about him continually asking her to go to her room to avoid the suitors. In the scene I used to analyze, he asks her to leave and go to her room, but once the men start saying they want to lie with his mother, he tells them to stfu and that tomorrow they have to gtfo. These men are dangerous, and he as her son, and yes, as a man, probably wants to take care of him themself instead of watching his mother deal with them. Yes, he asks her to go to her room again towards the end but that’s because he and Odysseus are literally going to MURDER the suitors. He wants her to get out of the way, and again Penelope’s reaction to this says multitudes.

Fitzgerald:  “She gazed in wonder, turned, and so withdrew, her son's clearheaded bravery in her heart.”

Come on gang. Is that the reaction of someone who feels like her son is disrespecting her? He's brave! He's choosing to deal with 108 men on his own who disrespect and actively want to kill him, and Penelope admires the hell out of it! Anyways, I love odyssey Telemachus. I think the Wilson interpretation makes me so sad because in nearly all of the other ones you can see how he just wants to protect her and keep their home. He wants to be the “man of the house”, yes, but he is literally facing 108 men who are most likely much older than him and who fully bully him constantly. He is trying to grow up because if he doesn’t they can claim the role of man of the house and both he and his mother are going to be in a terrible position. Also btw to anyone who says his reaction to Penelope’s silence at Odysseus’s return is bratty, I think it’s a fucking hilarious scene because you can tell he pictured his parents reuniting so happily and emotionally after 20 and is literally so frustrated when she’s just staring at him. Give him a break he just killed 108 people to see this reunion and she’s just staring silently, ofc he's a little pissy about it. To wrap it up, here’s some of my favorite Telemachus Penelope reunion scenes because anyone who can read this and say he doesn’t love her makes me sad.

Fitzgerald: “Back with me! Telemakhos, more sweet to me than sunlight!  I thought I should not see you again, ever, after you took the ship that night to Pylos—  against my will, with not a word! you went  for news of your dear father. Tell me now of everything you sawl"  But he made answer: "Mother, not now. You make me weep.  My heart already aches—I came near death at sea.”

Literally mom stop crying you’re going to make me cry and I've been through so much, angsty teen behavior. Also look at her! She loves him! That's her boy! And that's his mom!

Pope: "Light of my eyes! he comes! unhoped-for joy!  Has Heaven from Pylos brought my lovely boy?  So snatch'd from all our cares !  —Tell, hast thou known Thy father's fate?  and tell me all thy own."  "Oh, dearest! most revered of woman-kind!  Cease with those tears to melt a manly mind,"  Replied the prince: "nor be our fates deplored,  From death and treason to thy arms restored.”

Brb fucking sobbing I love them leave them alone. Unhoped-for joy is fucking heartbreaking when you think about what Penelope's been through. Although peep the toxic masculinity at the end there. Read Pope. This whole long ass essay was begging you to read the Pope translation. Here's a cookie for making it to the end I love the odyssey and if nobody reads this i will be sad 🍪

[tojisteddy]

hi! i wrote the 141 fic and i just wanted to address this with as much grace as possible. I am half Black.

I didn't include Gaz in my fic because I don’t know him, that is LITERALLY it. My entire exposure to COD comes from Tumblr. I genuinely had NO FUCKING IDEA Gaz was part of 141. I thought he was like König or Keegan, who pop up in other parts of the fandom.

I KNEW THE OTHER THREE WERE A PART OF IT FROM CLIPS ONLINE (IE. GHOAP INTERACTIONS) AND OTHER TUMBLR FICS.

To accuse ME (black woman) of racism for that is not only unfair, it's harmful. your supporters have been bullying the fuck out of me and i've had to delete anon submissions and block people.

i'm not going to include someone just for the sake of optics, esp if I can't write them well. there are tons of other gaz writers. was i wrong in tagging my post 141 men? sure! did i know gaz was in 141? no. i know nothing about him. i would not do him any justice.

in the nicest way possible, i can write who i write. my blog is self indulgent and i write who i know best. gaz is SUPER HOT, yes, BUT i wasn't particularly inspired to write him in this particular scenario. just as i wouldn't write someone like bruce banner from the avengers in an "avengers men with a fussy wife" fic bc idk anything about him. i dont think people would get on my case if i did that, if it makes sense?

and i would love to learn more about gaz, but i'm not obligated to write about him. getting on your blog to spread a false narrative to your followers is kind of unkind, especially due to your big following. but i just wanted you to know i'm not some white girl with an agenda.

hope that cleared everything up! :) xx

I wanna say first and foremost, my intention was not to send people to spread hate, bully or maliciously attack you and in no way do I condone that. Especially since I myself am a fully black women. That’s my fault in every way and I should’ve been more careful with my wording and should watch myself because of my following moving forward. Im sorry.

Secondly, I do understand only knowing cod characters via fics and edits on this app/tiktok and it’s not anyone’s job to have to look everyone up when you get interested in one singular character. You also don’t have the obligation to write every character known to man in every drabble/fic. That’s fine.

The conversation to be had though would be about exclusion and micro aggressions.

I’m not expecting you to know the ins and out of cod fandom especially when I see you do write for different fandoms (as do I). But exclusion towards Gaz on this app and in edits and the like, is a major issue in the fandom because of his race. And it’s probably a reason you didn’t know Gaz was apart of the 141. This is something that happens to many characters that look like you and me (black people).

And yes, I see (and again I apologize) that excluding Gaz was not your habitual intention. And sure, not all characters fit a certain scenarios.

But you not realizing Gaz was apart of the 141 was a micro aggression in itself, that’s what micro aggressions are.

The unconscious actions. 

The unconsciousness of excluding ppl who look like you and me just because of our skin color, facial structure and builds, the constant need to make black ppl look like aggressors even we don’t do anything wrong, being “scared” of black ppl having “too much” fun.

And those who are white, those are POC and those who are even half black, tend to do it a lot. Same thing with black men and colorism and how it’s ingrained in society’s culture. It’s done Unconsciously. (Not all the time tho) And I’m definitely sure for the white/poc ppl who follow me, it flew over their heads. They just see racism and that’s surface level. Yes, maybe that’s on me for not explaining it further. But that’s something that me and you have to live with till the day we die. And you should understand that.

Lastly, I want to reiterate, I know you did not mean it. I know you don’t have to write for Gaz if you don’t want to. I know Gaz doesn’t fit for some scenarios, same way that Soap doesn’t or Price doesn’t.

But I am saying to watch your actions towards ppl who look like you and me because they pan out at the end of the day.

[naamahdarling]

Told my therapist about "slow tigers are chasing me" and she loved it. Score one for Tumblr.

I am having A Time.

I will be okay I guess? Eventually? But it's gotten so hard to be online and not get triggered or upset. I'm at an elevated level of anxiety all the time and pretty close to a panic attack pretty often. Partly because of the rampant doomerism, partly because things are actually scary -- like, I'm not saying they aren't! It's just hard to deal with. And Tumblr's filtering on the app is garbage. Don't want to see THIS WORD? HERE IT ISN'T!

Like, if the way you are talking about the world makes suicide seem like a better option to someone than trying to survive and help, and they should really think about doing it sooner rather than later and getting a plan into place, I really think you ought to consider your words really do affect people in a way you may not want. Normally I advocate for saying whatever you want. And you can! But you should do so while being aware that it makes things harder for more people than it affirms. Maybe don't add it willy-nilly to whatever post you reblog.

I'm banging on about this because this is exacerbating this cycle for me, and I know it's up to me to curate my experience, but man has it given me an appreciation for how negatively it affects people and how hard it is to avoid. And to get rid of it completely, I would have to disappear from the Internet almost completely. I can't actually afford to do that.

IDK man, I just think people could maybe talk realistically without being this particular variety of corrosively negative. Despair does not drive action. It strangles it. It doesn't help. It makes people give up. Then we get a "we're all screwed anyway, why should I vote, let it burn, humans are the virus, both sides bad, who cares about the good thing when [bad thing]"-fueled learned helplessness situation and very vocal apathy that leads to *gestures* all this because people think that the things they can do will have no effect. At worst, the weight of it does kill.

Unlikeable opinion. Contradicts things I have said elsewhere. I'm still right.

Ugh.

[freyafrida]

rilla of ingleside book club, chapter one

yay, let's go!!!

It's kind of funny to be properly rereading this! I have the Gutenberg version open 90% of the time to check stuff while I'm writing fanfic so I don't ever feel like I'm not reading this book, lmao -- but it really has been some time since I actually sat down and read it all the way through. I have the classic Bantam version as well as the version edited by Benjamin Lefebvre, but I thiiink I'll go with the Lefebvre version since it's unabridged? It also has a glossary that explains some of the stuff in the book which I was obsessed with -- I distinctly remember being fascinated by the explanation of rural party phone lines, lmao. (I also have Readying Rilla! Will crack that open for comparison if I remember to ^_^)

(Side story: the same summer that I read Rilla and became obsessed with WWI, Scott Westerfeld -- one of my fave authors at the time -- announced he was doing a series set during WWI and I was sooo excited and thought the upcoming fall was going to be an epoch in baby freyafrida's life, and then I ended up not enjoying Leviathan at all, RIP. I remember getting the Lefebvre version of Rilla, reading the glossary, and being like Hmm Leviathan was really missing the trench warfare and people using party lines. Anyway.)

The early chapters of Rilla fascinate me so much because they're the only glimpse we get of the Blythes and Merediths as young adults before the war colors their lives -- what their ambitions were, what they talked about, etc.

Admittedly, Carl's only personality trait is still that he likes bugs 😭 It's pretty funny that the book never defines what exactly he plans to do with entomology, just that, you know. Bugs. He likes them.

As mentioned, it's pretty clearly an excuse for exposition that there's a whole section for "Jottings from Glen St. Mary" in the Charlottetown paper. (I do love the that the Enterprise just reports on whatever the book needs it to, I think there's an Enterprise reporter at like half the weddings in the Glen.) That said, I thiiiink the Glen is often treated as the main settlement in their particular area of the Island? IIRC that's why Anne and Gilbert move there from the isolated House of Dreams and...I can't remember any other moments exactly, but I want to say there's the Vibe that while the Glen isn't large -- tbf, I'm not sure anywhere besides Charlottetown really qualifies as large, even today -- it is the area's main town (my impression is that it spans the harbor, with over-harbor being more settled than the side the Blythes live on). So like...if there had to be a local gossip section of the paper, I guess it makes sense for the Glen to be there.

(Also, Shirley mention in this paragraph that he's coming back from Queen's! Equally funny/bizarre that the paper not only reports on the kids coming back from college, but also the comings and goings of the equivalent of high schoolers, too. LMAO. But anyway, interestingly Susan doesn't take the opportunity to discuss Shirley here!)

Rosemary's not a regular mom, she's a cool mom

Not to expose my Walter/Una and Rilla/Carl agenda, but Jem/Faith and Jerry/Nan had to be the two most boring Blythe-Meredith combinations possible. Baffled by the decision to let them get married and be happy, tbh. (Jerry and Nan never interact -- or even think about each other -- in Rainbow Valley, and now they're meant to be Anne/Gilbert-style arguing sweethearts? Odd choice.)

You ever think about how afraid that Blythes must've been that they were going to lose Walter, and their relief that he survived? :(((((

I love how much information about Gertrude is crammed into Anne's ramble about her. Gotta get us up to speed on this character we've never met before, you know.

Speak on it, Susan.

I love that even before he reveals his pacifism, nobody likes Whiskers-on-the-moon and he has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. We couldn't have the characters wrestle with disagreeing with someone they actually liked, or anything like that. (Obvs this has to do with the book being written so close to the war, although I also think this is an issue with the later Anne books in general -- see also Christine going from nice and simply misunderstood by Anne in Anne of the Island to being jealous and gossipy and fat, too when she shows up to antagonize Anne in Anne of Ingleside. Anyway.)

It's interesting that all of the Blythe-Meredith kids, save Rilla and Una, go to Queen's, when it's something only a small group of Anne's peers did. I mean, it makes sense -- Anne and Gilbert def. value education and would want their kids to go to college (and have jobs similar to their own like doctors, writers, academics, etc), which Queen's was basically a stepping stone to. IDK that preachers' children were expected to be highly educated (someone lmk if you do?) but given that Rev. Meredith would've had to go to school for theology, a similar principle probably applies. That said, it's kinda funny to think that they all follow the same trajectory their parents (and LMM herself) did. It also sticks out to me that the Blythe kids seemed to take a few years to teach instead of going straight to college -- in contrast, Rev. Meredith wants Carl to go to straight to Redmond instead of actually teaching. Maybe Anne and Gilbert thought it would build character? (idt it's financial concerns, what with the trips to Europe and the offhand way Rilla mentions getting new dresses, and i get the vibe the Merediths aren't as well-off, but Rev. Meredith still offers to put Carl through school).

Oh, another thought about Anne vs. Rilla's vanity -- also interesting to think that, in an effort to avoid her children having the sort of starved childhood she did, Anne ends up spoiling them and then regretting it (although fwiw, Rilla is the only kid who's frivolous to the point of worry).

Readying Rilla stuff I thought was interesting: nothing really in this chapter, but Mrs. Elliott originally called Miller Douglas "a penniless ne'er-do-weel", lol.

[simpingforcreamsoda]

Agreed with prev, throwing on a few of my own thoughts:

This feels extremely disappointing as someone who's been enjoying the celebratory phase Sonic has been in as of late. Frontiers and Shadow Gens, plus movies like Sonic 3, have entered a new refreshing mindset that Sonic being Sonic is something to be boldly proud of. Yes, this can sometimes lead to awkward, overly referential dialogue ("WITHOUT THE TIME STONES???"), but overall it's been warm and cozy to see Sonic being proud of what it is.

I was HOPING that Crossworlds would continue this trend, and be more celebratory of the franchise in its roster. Jet the Hawk returning was a great first sign, and it was not unreasonable that fans would hope for other fan favorites to return, especially those from the classic games (Fang, Mighty, etc) or the new IDW comics (Tangle, Whisper, etc). And yes, while they could at some point join, its clear that's not Sega's intention at all.

I don't have any particular issue with Miku, Joker, or Mr. Yakuza- I actually think its cute to see other Sega characters having fun with their cousin Sonic. It's similar to Link, Villager, Isabelle, and Inkling in MK8, just a small handful of gaming friends who have good synergy with the blue blur (where is that monkey in the ball tho).

But SPONGEBOB??? FUCKING AVATAR REPS??? Jesus, what a fucking shame. If you like those characters, great, so do I. But their inclusion is such a blatant devaluing of this product, none of these Nick characters are even pretending to be related to Sonic, nor are they so random that it can be laughed at as a joke. This is like if Smash Bros DLC passes included Darth Vader, Shrek, and Iron Man. It's a concession by Sega that they're embarrassed to be a Sonic racing game. They're so ashamed of having to put their beloved franchise in the spotlight to sell his game that they're drowning the pre-release with the most irrelevant, pandering, unnatural and corporate picks they can.

That's the main thing for me- I thought we were past this. I thought we were done with this idea that Sonic is cringe with the kids and needs to be supplemented and replaced. But nope, here we are, with 90% of the marketing being characters from "other not sonic things kids probably like more than sonic" because who in their right minds would play a game with SONIC in it. We need to show them Aang, then they'll buy it!

Please, for the love of god, Sega.

People. Like. Sonic.

Sonic. Is. Cool.

They've managed to make their DC crossover feel equal and celebratory of both sides, so why are they regressing into shoving Sonic into a corner? Makes me depressed.

Also that price tag is so fucking embarrassing i played that playtest and it really aint all that. Buy something else.

I have to admit that the more we see from CrossWorlds, the less enthusiastic I am about it. Mostly thanks to all the crossover DLC.

Early on, following its announcement and the public playtest, CrossWorlds was pitched as this big celebration of Sonic in kart racing form. A big roster of characters, a bunch of tracks based on locations across the series, even the return of the Babylon Rogues and Extreme Gear for Riders fans. It seemed like it was doing everything right.

And then they started announcing the crossovers.

First they announced the first few Sega guest characters who'll be added for free. And that was fine. That made sense. It's all Sega stuff, and seeing Ichiban and Miku racing against Sonic characters is funny.

And then right after that, they announced... Minecraft. Minecraft Steve will be in the Sonic racing game, along with a whole Minecraft track, as part of the season pass that's being announced months before the game is even out. It seemed very arbitrary, just doing a crossover with something super popular as a marketing stunt.

And then, as had been previously leaked, we got the SpongeBob announcement. SpongeBob and Patrick will be in the new Sonic racing game, along with a Bikini Bottom track. And like, yeah, I love those first few seasons of SpongeBob as much as the next late-gen millennial, but does that mean I think SpongeBob makes sense to include here? No. And later in the season pass we'll also be getting TMNT and Avatar crossovers, because of course we are. Nick characters are literally half of the season pass. I will admit that the turtles are a good fit for Sonic, but the rest? Come on. But please be sure to pay $90 USD to get the Digital Deluxe Edition so you can play as Aang, everyone!

The current fan favorite (Sega-developed) Sonic kart racer, All-Stars Racing Transformed, also had its fair share of random third party guest characters. I didn't mind it there. The difference to me is that the selection there was so random and asinine that it was kind of charming, and easy to ignore. Including Danica Patrick, Wreck-It Ralph, and one of the guys from the YogsCast in a Sonic racing game was so stupid that it was funny. It was also easy to ignore in a game that already had such a hodgepodge crossover roster.

But here it feels cynical. It's a generic corporate synergy move in what was pitched as purely a Sonic game. Viacom will shove SpongeBob, the turtles, and Aang into every game they can as cosmetic DLC, from Fortnite to Fall Guys to Smite and beyond. We're not getting these characters because someone at Sega thought they'd be the best fit for Sonic, but rather because Viacom owns the Sonic movies and they wanted to do cross-promotion of their Most Valuable IP with Sega. This wasn't a decision made by a creative, it was made by a boardroom. And also they had to do it on the cheap, I guess, because they couldn't pay to get Tom Kenny or Bill Fagerbakke to provide voice lines, or even get the rights to use stock clips of theirs. So SpongeBob and Patrick are just going to be mute in this racing game that places a huge emphasis on having a ton of voice lines and interactions for the Sonic cast. There's a very real chance we're just gonna see lobbies full of mute crossover characters when playing online. Sonic is simply a part of the Viacom corporate machine now, whether we like it or not. And Minecraft is here because it's the most popular game in the world and its movie just made almost a billion dollars, I guess.

It just feels like it's watering down the identity of the game so much. I like Fortnite, but I don't need every other game in the world to turn into Fortnite with all these corporate crossovers. It's fucking exhausting. I won't go as far as going "slot crisis" mode here and assume that these DLC characters have taken slots from other characters I'd rather see included, but like... If the game comes out and Tangle and Whisper aren't in it, but SpongeBob is? Sorry, but you're never going to hear the end of it from me lmao

(I know fans have already datamined an Extreme Gear for Whisper that seems to point to their inclusion, but that's not exactly a confirmation. It could literally just be the Extreme Gear thrown in as a nod to the comics and nothing else. Also now that we have all these mute crossover characters part of me worries that they wouldn't even bother casting voice actresses for them, which is half the reason why I'd be excited to see them in a game in the first place. I know it's a whole different rights situation with the Nick characters, but still, the thought is in my head.)

So yeah. I dunno. It'll probably still be decent. But these last few announcements have kind of killed the excitement for me.

At least I still have Ring Racers.

[seibaitasu]

honestly, as an autistic person, there's something so healing about playing deltarune in particular that i never even fully realized.

as a kid i was always bullied and ostracized — always labeled as "othered" and weird and never really spoken to for any reason aside from finding more bullying ammo; and that's something that makes susie resonate with me a lot. someone who clearly comes from a bad home environment, who's been ostracized and othered, who finds people that love her for those very same traits she got ostracized for. she's scary, but noelle loves scary things. she's weird, but kris is also weird. she can be mean, but ralsei thinks it's amazing that susie is susie.

or kris. they ARE the weird kid — everyone knows how weird they are. they're clearly depressed and they lack autonomy on various levels and they howl and annoy the people around them, but they're still able to make friends too. noelle still cares about them. ralsei loves it whenever kris can express their autonomy. susie and kris share many genuine moments despite the player's control.

ralsei lacks identity. ralsei masks his feelings and he people pleases and he throws away anything that could be unique to HIM in order to best suit susie and kris, but kris hugs him when you tell him it's okay not to smile. slowly learning how to be authentic is what brings him closer with others.

deltarune is a game that makes it clear that there are people who will love you for who you are, no matter how "weird" or "different" you are. there are people who will love you no matter what — and even if you've been alone for years, you'll find someone eventually.

it doesn't matter if you're "different", because we're ALL different, and we all can be loved.

[storkmuffin]

https://youtu.be/pc-N3c-S-Gg

not-quite-baby ateez being competitive from 2022! pro wrestler(?) being blushy over meeting yunho and yunho taking zero fucking prisoners in that ring &in the rest as well. if the subs are right they call him the golden child for annihilating his opponents? - and with that baby face i need to shake him violently omfg *rattles link like kitty treats. also bb!faced skz

i watched in the autumn of 2024 when i was getting to know Ateez and Kpop Idol culture and all the side content that I had no idea was so numerous or varied all at the same time, so it was with some shock that I realized they made these professional dancers, who are reputed to be expensively trained, actually wrestle and run at full blast (with enough effort to take wipe out tumbles).

I have it on good authority that dancers are actually not good at sports, most of the time. This doesn't apply to my boy Jeong Yunho of Ateez, because he is good at everything, and perfect for everything. Thanks for letting me relive the experience after my bias-discovery. What I thought when I saw this without much knowledge of the group was, That's really weird that a kid who made it all the way to debuting as an Idol turned out to be so gifted as a ssireum athlete. Now I'm like, Oh so that's yet another thing he's perfectly suited for. Okay. Sure.

He's the biggest boy on the field, overall, for one thing. He manages to be both tall and thin and extremely broad in the shoulders but also with beautiful dancer lines in his body. Oh and pretty in the face but, you know, they're all pretty in the face. (My private hope for all these idols at this weird indoor sports event for arts & showbiz people is that it functions a bit like the actual Olympics does for Olympians - that they all get their freak on and fuck like bunnies (allegedly)).

The header describes Ateez as having Overwhelming Physiques, but actually the only body they're really talking about is Yunho's. And this isn't just in comparison to the other Idols participating either. This is the second time I've seen a professional sportscaster and former athlete in the sport take a look at Yunho and go, Why isn't that boy in my sport? Look at him!! (The other time was during June 2025 when he threw the first pitch for his favorite baseball team).

This gentleman, Mr Lee Taehyun is a former, actual, real life, 씨름 Ssireum (wrestling, traditional Korean variety) champion who actually really works as a sportcaster for that asport after his retirement. What he's saying here is: As soon as I saw Athlete Jeong Yunho, I coveted him (for the sport). (Well maybe also for himself, but like, coveting Yunho in that way is both universal and common. Just ask Song Mingi and Jung Wooyoung.)

There's a dreamy rom-com edit of the training that these dancer boys received from a former Ssireum champion in the techniques for Korean Traditional Wrestling. This dude just got punched right in the chest by Yunho's gigantically broad shoulders and is coughing. But he's so happy. Baby Yunho is just happy all the time anyway, but he's especially happy because a) he did good and b) he encountered someone who is actually even bigger than he is. (Our boy is a giant, and this Mr. Lee is a goddamn BEHEMOTH if he can make Yunho look so wee.)

It was hilarious to see Yunho when he was still mostly Boy Yunho, knowing what he looks like as the Idol Transformation Complete version as of June 2025, and the reactions that people gave him on this program. The words by his side are 떠억 and 쫘악 and the equivalents I can think of in English are Ooh! Ahh! or perhaps Kapaw! Thwak! And what they're talking about is the impact of how huge his shoulders look. The actual commentary over this shot was, "Look at those shoulders."

You can see Baby Yunho about to dominate the shit out this Idol Dongheon of Verivery (I looked him up for this in particular but haven't listened to the songs) while Baby Yeosang takes this very seriously from the background. The green and red font subtitle says: "THE PERFECT HARMOMY OF OVERWHELMING STRENGTH AND FULL BODY CONTACT TECHNIQUE" while those playing the sportscaster role for this broadcast praise Yunho even further: He isn't merely just physically strong!

The above shot is Yunho being extremely determined to win the upcoming bout, and looking plenty scary.

But immediately after he's completely flattened poor Dongheon into the sand, Yunho smiles sweetly at him like this as they run towards each other for a conciliatory/ congratulatory hug.

Dongheon says, loud enough for the editors to hear, "Oh, you're too strong! ㅜㅜ!" as Yunho lifts him off the ground.

But then Yunho loses, which means Yeosang has to save the day. Look at San, Wooyoung and especially HongJoong freaking out at the unexpected defeat of their most athletically accomplished member. Yeosang is always slow to react to begin with, but he can't even think because it's now up to him.

And he does it! Yeosang DID IT! is what the subtitle says, and Yeosang is so happy his feet literally don't touch the ground for several seconds.

So cute!!

In the post game interview, Yunho says that this experience made him much more interested in the sport of ssireum. I mean, I would too, if I went to my first session to learn how to do it and the former champion immediately was like, Kid, you need to go pro!

So if he hadn't been an idol, I guess Yunho would've been fought over by one or other sports coach at his high school lol.

[alaskan-wallflower]

Omg your post about post-canon disabilities is so right and everyone needs to see it.

If Johnny lived he’d have been paralysed from the waist down and needed to use a wheelchair. He also had serious burns on his arms, legs and back which would need skin grafts

Dally canonically had a badly burned arm and had to be in the hospital for a few days because of it: he might have needed a graft or some treatment on that too

Even though Pony wasn’t badly burned he still might have some more minor burns and also he was concussed! He had a bad head injury which you don’t exactly recover from quickly….

I don’t like it either when ‘everyone lives’ AUs that follow the canon of the church fire pretend that nobody got injured either!

THANK YOU.

i was actually just about to make a post about this but good LORDDDD UGH. i know it’s because this fandom has romanticized these fictional men so much to the point where it’s unthinkable to not have them be “perfect looking” without any flaws or differences or anything that doesn’t make them conventionally attractive, which is ABLEIST AS FUCK let me say (this part in particular pisses me off as someone w a disability that affects how i look, it genuinely makes me so angry). like burns are serious??

@veggiesforpresident reblogged that post saying smth about the gravity of johnny’s injury and yeah, they’re right. johnny would be paralyzed. i don’t think people realize what that really means? like he wouldn’t be able to walk? ever again? people also don’t talk about the psychological effects as well, like johnny and pony and even dally would need months, maybe more to recover physically and emotionally.

i’ve seen some people mentioning ponyboy being hearing impaired after dally hit him on the head to put out the fire and honestly i love that a lot. i’ve also mentioned my own headcanons about dally being an amputee post book with how bad his arm was burned + still including police shooting him but he still lives). like there’s so much you can do with thrse injuries post book and it’s ridiculous that people want to erase any semblance of a disability or life altering injury in favor of “keeping the characters conventionally attractive” or “doesn’t fit the story line”. MAKE IT. it says IN. CANON. Johnny would be disabled. you can’t even dance around it like it’s so obnoxious.

anyway anon you’re so right and you should preach on if 🙂‍↕️

[blckfckinmsk]

˚　.˚　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　☠︎ Hips wiggle back slightly against Andrew's when he feels him touching up his sides. Which were exposed in this particular suit. Not caring if his friends were paying attention to that or not. This is his club after all.

He is excited to hear that his idea of what their marriage should be was something that seemed to align with what Andrew wanted. And he gives him a little kiss before turning back toward Ellis with a warm smile.

"I'll keep that in mind then." And he will, he can make it exclusive so it feels like something bigger than what it really was. And there's a nod when asked about meeting Vincent, with a laugh following the surprise that seems to come of that. "He was tough on me. Don't think he liked me at first. But he came around, after a lot of questioning. I think he appreciates someone who likes to work as hard as I do though. Thankfully!" Said with a laugh. "His mother adores me too." He can be charming when he wants to be after all.

Heart pulses in chest, and he's certain it may be audible. Blood rushes in his ears in an overwhelming way as all those feelings began coming back, and once again he's trying to reign himself in. And it doesn't help much as Roman worms his way into his lap, so fluidly it nearly goes unnoticed but he can see how both friends of his glance from Roman's face and downward. Playing it off, Andrew moves arms around his waist, which only becomes slightly uncomfortable when Roman leans forward.

Intention is clear, and reigning in became much more difficult than prior. Already, he's aching for the moment friends disappear and they can make use of the table between them.

His own palms fall along Roman's hips, running along from front to sides repeatedly, self soothing and simultaneously working himself up further when he can feel physique beneath fabric. Roman explains his thoughts, and though muffled by his own distracted mind but overall- he gets what he's saying, comprehends it vaguely, and nods. And once hand reaches for his face, eyes narrow. He knows what he's doing and he's doing it well. "Yeah- no, that sounds perfect." he answers with a subtle amount of haste, as if any moment his voice may crack and shatter the facade of giving a damn.

Ellis seems to not mind affection, nor care to look at it too deeply as he settles, eyes remaining on the outward patrons elsewhere. "Damn- Andy, you two are a match made," he finds himself laughing and holding drink up- cheers like. "Don't even have to plan a big party. Roman- you're tickin' all his boxes." On surface, the two look like they couldn't be further from such a thing. Extroverted party host meets introverted workaholic. Suppose opposites attract, because clearly they have similar feelings on most things, and Roman had brought him from deep within that shell.

But then the he thinks, and curiosity piques. "You met Vincent?" Again, because they seem to be moving rapidly. "How'd that go over?"

[guiltyasdave]

lovelorn

part 3 / series masterlist

pairing: young!dieter bravo x actress!original female character violet

rating: explicit, 18+

summary: Dieter and Violet's love burns bright. High on fame, on success, on love, on life. Until it begins burning out. (Here: The aftermath.)

word count: 1.6k

tags/warnings: young!Dieter, actress!ofc, heartbreak, angst, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, addiction, dieter in his bella swan era

a/n: and so the story of these two angels comes to an end. i'm not gonna lie, i'm very proud of my writing in this story in particular and very grateful to everyone who has read it <3 special kisses to @sizzlingcloudmentality for loving them with me and cheering me on every step of the way!

find my full masterlist here & follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for updates! :)

dividers by @saradika-graphics <3

There’s nothing but silence on the other end of the line. Dieter calls, texts, even sends Violet a few messages via Instagram on a particularly bad night. But— nothing. No answer, not even a Seen confirmation. 

The gates to her house won’t open, no matter how many hours he spends in front of them. He doesn’t know if she’s somewhere across the globe, running away from him and from what they had. Or if she’s right there, just out of his reach. 

It takes him a while, but eventually, Dieter starts erasing the traces of her from his life. 

He takes down the polaroid that she taped onto his fridge, on an evening not that long ago that feels ages away now. One corner is still marked with a stain of the red lipstick that she wore that night, an echo of the lips that kissing used to feel like home. Things were easy, back then, and their wide, clueless smiles, frozen for eternity, make a lump rise in his throat every time he lays eyes on them. So he buries the photo deep within one of the many drawers around his house that he never opens. He’s not able to throw it away, but with it out of his sight, he hopes against hope that he’ll forget about it eventually. 

Drinking helps a little, sometimes. So do the drugs, anything that clouds his mind enough to forget for just a few brief moments, to just stop everything from hurting so fucking bad. But the memories always come back, crashing into him, knocking the breath from his lungs.

One evening, with too much alcohol sloshing in his stomach and racing through his veins, he begins smashing the vinyls that Violet gave him over the months. Songs she had thought he would like, pieces of herself that she had wanted to share with him, so much music that he won’t be able to listen to anymore. 

He gulps down more vodka, barely feeling the burn of it traveling down his throat. For one glorious moment, he thinks that he sees her. His cheek hits the softness of his couch cushion, his eyes slowly slip closed, but she follows him into his dreams. Haunting him, always just out of reach, always moving away from him, not hearing him no matter how loud he shouts her name. 

Days turn into weeks turn into months, seasons passing him by without any real sense of time. It’s like he’s floating, without cause or destination. He gets fired from a job or two, or maybe three even. He had failed to show up on time basically ever, somedays hadn’t shown up at all, and when he did he could never remember his lines. It doesn’t matter. Acting isn’t as fun as it used to be.

His friends don’t come by anymore. Dieter reckons that they’re at another house in the Hills now, sucking up to someone more successful, with more money. Someone with a star that’s still shining brightly, unlike his own.

He tries going out, even takes someone home a few times. But it all feels hollow now, like he’s on autopilot, his mind somewhere far away, not in the moment. Something has to distract him eventually, help him to forget, right? Right?

Instead, he starts to paint. Something that Violet had actually suggested he should do, between kisses on his cheek and gentle strokes through his hair, when everything felt like too much and it became hard to breathe. She had said it might be a way to deal with his emotions, to let them take shape and give them a place to exist outside of his own head. She was always so much smarter than him.

It does help a little, lets him breathe a little easier. On days when he finishes a painting, he feels like he really accomplished something, something to show for himself. Only that he keeps seeing Violet’s shadow everywhere, just outside of the frame. He keeps hearing her voice in his ear, praising him, telling him how proud she is. He always ends up sadder than he was before. 

Sometimes, he thinks that he can still smell the scent of incense that always floated through her home. He wishes that he had paid more attention, that his memory was better, that he could remember more clearly. He wishes that he hadn’t been so high for much of it. They never even went on that vacation that they had been dreaming about. He should have known better, should have treated her better. 

His therapist gives him an encouraging smile when he tells her about those thoughts. How many regrets he has, how much he wishes he had done differently. They had been wading through months of questions of what went wrong where and who’s to blame for what and if he really can’t sue someone for any of the shit that’s been happening to him? 

A great progress, she calls it. Only that it doesn’t help anyone now, does it? The only person who he wants to tell, the only person who should know, is Violet, and she’s still not answering his calls or reading his texts. He knows this with certainty because he still tries almost every day, only to be met with dead silence every single time. 

The sun is beating down on Dieter relentlessly when he walks into the tattoo shop a second time. A cap on top of his messy hair that needed a wash a few days ago, huge sunglasses hiding most of his face, sweat beading at his neck. A headache is prickling behind his skull, but he needs to get this done today. One more hour of looking at the two Vs adorning his forearms and he’s gonna scratch his skin off. 

He doesn’t particularly like the triangles that he ends up with. They’re bold, much bolder than the letters had been, but at least those are well concealed by the new ink. And maybe this is what he deserves. Something ugly to mark him, something to remind him of how gravely he failed. 

He watches Violet through news articles, watches her career blossom, watches her grow. She’s taking the spotlight like she was meant for it, soaring higher and higher. His heart aches every time he sees footage of her on a red carpet, or on talk shows, or on stupid press junkets that he can’t help but watch. 

He wants to reach through the screen and tell her how proud he is. He wants to be the one that she goes home with at night. He’d be better this time. He’d support her, really support her. He’d never make her doubt him and his love for her.

He watches her date through grainy paparazzi photos. He reads all the rumors like a man possessed. He’s trying to be happy for her, trying really really hard actually, but— he would have gotten her nicer flowers. He would have smiled at her more, never would’ve worn the exasperated look that he sees on the other man’s face sometimes. He would have gotten her a prettier ring than the one that one day appears on her finger. He never would have allowed it to disappear again only a few months later. 

She’s more private now, only allowing the smallest glimpses at her real life. He still calls her sometimes, waiting to hear something other than an automated voice telling him that the number he has dialed is no longer available. 

The first time he sees her again in person is, ironically enough, at an Oscars after party. It’s been a few years since he was last invited to the actual ceremony, and most times he’s skipped the party, too. But tonight, he knew that she’d win. He had to go, had to catch just one glimpse at her. Had to make sure that the longing that he caught in her eyes all those years ago had finally been satisfied. 

He hadn’t planned to actually talk to her, just seeing her from afar, just in person and not through a screen would have been enough. But there she is, stopping in her tracks when she spots his face through the crowd. He has to be imagining the way her features are lighting up. It must be a trick of the light, or just his stupid hopes getting the best of him. 

“Congratulations,” he offers when she stops in front of him, desperate to get this off his chest, now that he’s been given a chance that he never expected. “I— I’m really really happy for you.” He runs a trembling hand through his hair, making a mess of the curls his stylist had arranged to perfectly. 

He forgot how good her smile makes him feel, how good her whole presence makes him feel. 

“Thank you,” she says, almost bashfully, barely audible over the thumping music and chattering conversations all around them. 

It’s unexpected, the way she hugs him then. For a brief moment, the past years might just have been a bad dream. Her scent is still the same, sugary sweet as it engulfs him, her body warm against his before she pulls back. 

It’s like he’s stepped back in time. Purple glitter is shimmering on her eyelids. Her breath ghosts against his ear. She’s the one to ask, this time.

“Do you wanna go smoke with me?”

thank you for reading. comments and reblogs are love!

[fandomsmadness]

TBHX episode 12 rant

Ngl I'm disappointed in a multitude of things this ep, but as always there is timeline and worldbuilding to keep me going.

Biggest dissapointments:

The parent thing was about Liu Zhen? It wasn't even anything big? Idk, but I thought Queen being a journalist's daughter would not be a big bad secret with the level of fame she had since she was a teen. Big letdown

Like I was hoping last ep, the Bowa/Queen rivalry wasn't used to comment on the patriarchy pitting women against women (it's still there if you squint, but that was the case last ep too) and instead was just a flashy showdown

We concluded the Queen arc but we still don't know enough about her as a person! This has to be the least fleshed hero in the lineup so far. Hello, this is the no. 2 and top-ranking female hero, we need more juice than this!

No X :( [this one is deeply personal and totally biased, and should not be taken seriously]

I have also decided I am categorically a simp. I don't think this requires elaboration.

On to what I liked, which may somewhat contradict my disappointments because they're two-sided.

Firstly, while I didn't like that Bowa/Queen was never really addressed as being a manufactured rivalry (would've been nice for the two to, idk, talk?) the fight scene was visually fantastic. Musically, it was heartbreaking. And storywise, it was tragic. So so tragic. I hated it. I loved it. My feelings have not reached a consensus on the matter. And I was also, very unrealistically, hoping for X to swoop in/change animation/do something because this was just downright painful to watch sometimes.

But someone please tell me why Bowa's attacks are all suddenly X-shaped. Once? Sure. Twice? Coincidence. Three is just too many.

Secondly, we may not know much about Queen as a person, and in particular she's lacking a lot of background details (you lied to Cyan, we all saw it), but I do like what I've seen and how her principles tie into her hero personality as someone who makes rules, abides by them, and uses them to strengthen her own resolve.

BUT

This sounds an awful lot like wanting to dismantle the existing system, Queen. Hmmm...

What on earth are these symbols?

We needed Bowa to explain to us what your power is??? Although I admit, that power is neat and once again, very much in character

And yet another nod to Queen's trust coming from within (see X breakdown from last ep for more details)

She's also terribly terribly loyal to her friends, believes in taking the right way to the top, rejecting Cyan's offer of good luck multiple times, and is overall not as cold as the last ep wanted us to believe.

Thirdly, Bowa was fleshed out pretty well for a secondary character, and her arc was just...tragic. i have many thoughts, not all of which can be articulated right now.

Side note does having trust value affect how monstrous fear can make you?

Other things:

The Commission has a... police force equivalent?

DOS is investigating X lmao. Idk why this is funny to me, but it is. Who is Nine tho? X knows Uncle Rock? (Boo) X doesn't have a good relationship with Uncle Rock? (Yay!) Who is the other hero? And why is Wreck there? Right colours, wrong ship DOS!

As much as the fight scene was visually appealing, so much property damage I cry. That must've cost the economy billions

BIG JOHNNIE? What are you doing in the cliffhanger? Loli's arc is next, get back in your lane!

And speaking of the upcoming Loli arc, we've seen next to nothing of her so far...?