#Thought)? Or did i miss that? Where did the irresponsible scientist of the week get to when he ran off? Still it's very topical and maurice

[womanofwords]

STEM Kids Shenanigans: Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Principal's Office

Over the course of a week, an alarming amount of students from Marbleton Secondary School had been called into the office. Stephan had documented people's scandalous secrets well . . . too well.

And now he had to pay.

"Melanie Sainsbury to the principal's office," a messenger said.

"Ooooh," the class chorused, as Melanie left the room and headed towards the principal's office.

The air was cold as she sat outside Dr Violet's office, staring at the wall as she waited. Eventually, she was called in.

"Melanie Sainsbury," Dr Violet said, her face neutral. "Your name was mentioned a lot in this little scandal."

"Yes." Melanie played with the hem of her skirt. "I guess it's fairly well known that I was friends with Stephan."

"That not all I was told, Miss Sainsbury." Dr Violet adjusted her glasses, which had slipped down the bridge of her nose. "Reports of you using your prefect privileges irresponsibly against students you didn't like and students Stephan didn't like upon his orders. Is this true, Miss Sainsbury? Why would anybody say such a thing if it isn't?"

Melanie's eyes welled up with tears. "It's true," she admitted, reluctantly.

And she confessed everything.

How she and Stephan used to be friends when they first met. Stephan had all the good gossip (naturally) and knew where all the bad kids hung out to do bad things. So their friendship became a little more transactional at that point; Stephan told her other people's secrets and she would catch them in the act, earning her praise from other prefects and teachers.

When Stephan started holding back information, Melanie threatened him with his own actions. "You don't want me to tell Dr Violet about what you do behind her back, do you?" she would say, and he would shut up every single time. That was how she got him to follow the STEM club to their meet-up after school, and to bug their meeting room. Her status as a prefect allowed her to take control of the relationship, until the day came that she was no longer a prefect.

And then everything changed.

Not having leverage was one thing to deal with, but she really had no idea how Stephan found those photos of her. Photos of her that she never thought existed from a time long gone.

"And what sort of photos are you talking about?" Dr Violet asked.

And Melanie explained that, too.

A long time ago, she had hopes and dreams of being the best and most amazing scientist ever known. But science wasn't as easy as everyone else made it look. It was like things broke as she held it and everything she tried to do failed spectacularly.

And people noticed.

The kids that were actually good at science sneered at Melanie's failed attempts at inventions. They somehow managed to deteriorate in quality every single time, going from qualifying for second round eliminations to first round to not even being accepted. And the mocking comments got worse every time, until her father decided enough was enough and let her quit.

She had no idea where or how Stephan got those photos or even that they existed, but one day, she saw them, sitting in the palm of his hand.

BEGIN FLASHBACK

"Where did you get that?" she asked, reaching for them. Stephan held them out of reach.

"Uh, uh, uh," he taunted. "They were supplied to me by a good friend. Who knew that you used to be in science conventions? I thought you hated the STEM kids."

"It was a long time ago!" Melanie tried to snatch the photos back, but her friend-turned-tormentor played keep-away.

"Oh, my god! Could this be the key to your tragic backstory? Girl rejected by scientific community grows to despise science and scientists!"

"Shut up!"

Stephan laughed cruelly. "Oh, this changes everything. And I mean everything."

END FLASHBACK

"I see," Dr Violet said. "So, at that point, you were . . . under Stephan Marriot's thumb, I suppose."

"Yes, Dr Violet," Melanie said.

"When you repeatedly harassed the members of the STEM club, was that something Stephan was making you do, or did you do that outside of him?"

"Stephan didn't tell me to do that. It was all me. I thought that they were making cruel inventions to mess with people, just like the people who bullied me."

"I see." Dr Violet looked through a large folder of notes, and Melanie hoped that they weren't all about her. "Although I understand and have sympathy for the ways you were manipulated and blackmailed, you were still capable of bullying fellow students with your prefect responsibilities without Stephan's influence. A letter will be going home to your parents detailing everything."

Melanie felt a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her parents were going to be involved; the exact thing she didn't want. "Of course, Dr Violet."

"And by the way, concerning the STEM club, you owe them an apology. They're the ones that exposed the blackmailing web you were in and saved you. Consider yourself dismissed."

"You were being blackmailed at school? Why didn't you tell us?" Winifred Sainsbury asked.

"You wouldn't have been able to help," Melanie said. "Your advice is basically useless."

"I can't believe my little girl was involved in anything so awful," her father, Alistair, said. "Those bullying science brats going after my daughter yet again."

"Maybe it's not the fault of the students in the STEM club. Melanie, tell us more."

"I was going after them because I thought that they were breaking the rules." Melanie undid her pigtails, letting her brown hair fall around her ears and down to her shoulders. "But I was wrong. It wasn't them."

"Finally, you're seeing reason! This is what I've been telling you! The kids you're investigating did nothing wrong!" Melanie's mother yelled. She didn't mean to become so loud, but all her prior frustrations came out through her mouth.

"Don't blame Melanie for this!" her father said.

"I'm not blaming Melanie, Alistair. I'm blaming you and the ideas that you put into her head!"

"Can I just go to a different school?" Melanie asked.

"Yes," they said. At least they agreed on something.

"Good," Melanie said. "I don't ever want to go back to that awful place."

"We'll find a new school for you soon, honey," Alistair Sainsbury promised, as his only child went upstairs to her room.

Melanie threw herself onto her bed and groaned. Marbleton Secondary School was a sadistic hellhole.

And she was glad to be rid of it.

To read the other parts of this fic, see Masterlist.

[ragingpancake]

Lietuenant Colonel Idiot And The Kastat Root Part 2

Part 1

The first thing John is aware of when he starts to come to is the quiet beeping of machines. He knows that that’s never a good sign but he feels floaty and warm so he has a hard time caring about what exactly landed him in the infirmary this time. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking against the overhead light, dim as it was in the moment but he doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Teyla and Ronon quickly come into his line of vision. “Hi,” he manages, voice hoarse with disuse, and you know, probably from the tube they’d shoved down his throat to anesthetize him when Carson had cut him back open to clean him up a little. “Where’s… what happened?” He has a vague memory of a stomachache and of screaming but the pain meds they have him on makes it hard to think. It also makes it hard to sleep, so when Teyla tells him gently that he should go back to sleep and they’ll fill him in later, he doesn’t argue. He just closes his eyes and lets the darkness return.

-- It happens like that a couple of times before John finally, truly, wakes up. He thinks that it’s probably the pain that does it, that pulls him back to the land of the lucid, as Beckett has started weaning him off of the good stuff. He doesn’t remember much from those quick bursts of consciousness, but he does remember that while he’s seen Teyla and Ronon every time, he hasn’t once seen Rodney. Where’s Rodney? “Aye, Colonel,” Carson greets, leaning over as he adjusts John’s nasal cannula, Teyla and Ronon just visible over his shoulder. “Welcome back t’the land of the livin’, lad. How’re ya feelin’ this morning?” “Where’s Rodney?” He doesn’t miss the way Carson’s face shifts, just for a moment, nor does he miss the look shared by Teyla and Ronon. Something sits painfully in his gut at that and for one brief, horrible moment, he’s afraid that something happened to Rodney, something off-world, because Rodney was always here when he woke up, and-- “Settle down now,” Carson admonishes gently, and John is embarrassed to realize that the beeping on his heart rate monitor has sped up. “Rodney’s down in the labs, that’s all. He’s alright. The only one y’need to be worryin’ about now is yourself.” “How much do you remember?” Ronon asks and John can tell by the look on Teyla’s face that she’s not pleased at the question. It had been a routine mission, right? M3-X982, the Plesians, according to the ancient database. Not so routine if you ended up here, his brain reminds him and okay, fair enough. He takes a second and tries to think through the brain fog he always associates with the good drugs. He remembers the almost meatloaf and the bad jokes told by Plesia’s leader, Korom. He remembers the heat--. No. Not heat. The fever and the stomachache and--. Screaming. Hoarse screams, begging them to stop killing him, for Ronon to let him go, for Teyla to help him. And Rodney… Rodney, holding the dagger looking very much on the edge of a panic attack as he sliced through John’s skin, flaying him open. “Your appendix nearly ruptured,” Carson supplies, voice more gentle now. “Rodney recognized the signs fairly quickly but the doctor in Plesia was ill-equipped to operate.” “Doctor McKay very likely saved your life, John,” Teyla says, a fact she’s tried to get through to Rodney since their return. “Aye,” Carson agrees. “We had t’put ya under again to clean up a bit of infection and to right some suturin’, but he did bloody well considerin’ the circumstances.” “Then why… why isn’t he here?” Because no one has actually told him that much, but John can probably guess why. Guilt is a hell of a thing and John knows in an instant that he would’ve never wanted the roles reversed, would’ve never have wanted to have to--. “I need to talk to him,” and he’s not exactly thrilled with how desperate he sounds but he really doesn’t care right. He needs to talk to Rodney, needs to seehim, to tell him he did good. He starts pulling at all the leads and wires and Ronon is there again, a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him back down. “Let me talk to him first,” he says and even Teyla raises an eyebrow at that. Ronon isn’t exactly known for his uh, gentle nature, but when she meets John’s eyes, she gives him the slightest of nods. “Tell him to get his ass in here, or I’m gonna come find him myself,” John warns, but there’s no heat. The slight exertion has left him very nearly panting through a wave of pain. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message,” he says and without anything further, Ronon is gone. -- Rodney McKay isn’t known for his silence. He knows he’s a loud, obnoxious, abrasiveman even on his best day and yet ever since they’d returned from Plesia, he hadn’t been able to muster up the strength to even so much as raise his voice. It’s unnerving his scientists, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Mostly, he keeps to himself and keeps working, stopping only long enough for the occasional power nap and to replenish his supply of power bars. He’s just finished the aforementioned nap when Ronon finds

him, trudging back down to the laps to continue his work on the ancient device they’d found some time ago. He’s hoping that with enough tweaking, it can be used to send a patient into something sort of a temporary stasis, long enough to get them back through the Stargate where an actual fucking medical team can--. “McKay,” Ronon calls, but Rodney doesn’t stop. “Little busy, Chewie,” he calls over his shoulder but it lacks the usual McKay bite. “Sheppard’s awake.” Rodney does stop for that, but he doesn’t turn, shoulders tensing and he has to take a deep breath because he can feel something like panic trying to surge up again. “Is he--?” “Pissed? Yeah. Pissed that you weren’t there with us when he woke up.” “Well I’m sorry that some of us have actual work to do and can’t spend days--.” “You’re bein’ dumb.” Rodney whirls around at that, and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing in anger because he’s not--! He’s just--! “Sheppard probably wouldn’t have made it out of surgery without some major problems if we’d waited until the rain stopped. The Doc said so himself. Because of what you did, he’s got about another week of medicine and he’ll be back on his feet.” “I am not that kind of doctor,” Rodney reminds Ronon and he hates how he sounds in that moment, so, so upset. So weak. The weakest on the team, always. “You were the most qualified in that room to do what had to be done,” Ronon says and while that may actually be true, that won’t help when the nightmares come back. “You held it together better than either me or Teyla would’ve.” Rodney highly doubts that. “Listen,” Ronon says and this may be the most words Rodney’s heard him string together ever. “It sucked but it had to be done. You can’t keep beating yourself up for it.” We’ll see about that, Rodney thinks. “Thanks for the pep talk, Conan,” he says as he starts back for the labs. “You’re goin’ the wrong way. Infirmary’s that way.” Rodney doesn’t respond and he half expects Ronon to come after him, to throw him over his shoulder and haul him off to the infirmary, but a moment later, Rodney hears a quiet sigh and heavy footsteps falling away. He’s just not ready yet. -- Rodney might not be ready yet, but John’s never been the most patient person in the world. Especially not when it comes to Rodney. He’s tired, in pain, and annoyedby the time he makes it down to the labs, a trip that should’ve taken him five minutes on a good day but has taken nearly a half an hour for all the breaks he’s had to take to stop and lean against the wall. Carson’s going to have a field day when he comes back from surgery to find that John’s managed to sneak out, but he’ll just have to deal with that later. For now, the only thing he’s concerned about is Rodney. Atlantis takes pity on him and opens the door to the labs the minute she senses him approaching, allowing him to continue to hold on the wall as he slips inside and the minute he sees the slope of those shoulders in that blue shirt, any annoyance John had been feeling faded away. “Listen Teyla,” Rodney says and he sounds exasperated which leads John to believe that the Athosian has been down here plenty while he’s been holed up in the infirmary. He’s glad for that though. Means his people are taking care of each other. “I appreciate y--,” he turns and the words die in his throat. “Hi Rodney,” John greets, maybe a little dumbly and Rodney stands up so quickly that his stool topples backward. John thinks maybe he’s going to haul off and punch him, so he braces for impact, but when Rodney approaches, he grabs John’s arm and hauls it around his shoulder, giving him something else to lean against. “You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, you absolute idiot,” Rodney hisses and when he gets John seated on a stool, he moves to tap the communicator in his ear. “Rodney, wait!” And he reaches for the other, closing his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “Just… gimme a minute, okay?” Rodney hesitates, which is unusual for him. Rodney is always so sure of himself and quick to make

sure everyone knows it. Was this because of what happened on Plesia? “Listen,” John says and that’s about as far as he gets before Rodney is talking over him. “No! You listen, you, you, you irresponsible, stupid—” There’s a half a second that John wants to be offended and starts to respond in kind, but he stops himself because he realizes that Rodney needs this. That he’s been holding this in since they got back from that stupid planet. “You could have died! And not just from your stupid appendix, but your entire body could have gone into shock and you could have died! Because you were too stupid, too, too, too you to just go to the damn infirmary before we ever left!” “I know, Rodney and I’m –” “No! You don’t know. You have no idea!” He’s pacing now, wringing his hands together and John doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so upset. The thought that he’d been the one to cause that— “What if I’d been wrong, Sheppard? What if that had been for nothing? What if I’d—" “Rodney,” John says and he stands then, ignoring the way that the room spins just a little. “Listen to me, okay? I’m fine. You did everything right, and you probably saved me from a really shitty next few weeks, assuming I hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for you.” “But--.” “No buts,” John answers. “I’m sorry you had to do that, that I made you have to make that choice. You’re right, it was stupid to go off world without getting checked out first and I’m sorry, alright?” He reaches up, rubbing uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “I just… wanted to, you know, thank you for saving my ass out there. And to tell you that I’m really glad to know that no matter what, you’ve got my back.” And Rodney sags, all of the fight and the anger and maybe a little of the guilt too having gone out of him. “You’re… really alright?” “I’m really alright,” John promises him and this time, Rodney sags against the table, the tension leaving shoulders. “Thank God,” he breathes, and a breath later, “you owe me for this.” “Ah, there he is,” John says and he feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes. “No, no, you don’t understand. You owe me.” “I know, Rodney.” He doesn’t protest as Rodney comes around again, hauling John’s arm over his shoulder and as they begin to make their way from the science lab, back to John’s own quarters, John lets Rodney’s incessant babble wash over him. It felt good to hear it again, he realizes, even if he knows he’s never going to hear the end of this. And honestly? Well. He wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

[olivinesea]

In the Golden Dark, pt. 2

Part 1

a/n: This was already pretty much done so here you go. These parts are all rather short but that can be nice right? ~1.6k

i can’t concentrate if i keep seeing your face showing up in tea leaves lit up on my tv i can’t stand up straight under your gravity so i lay awake with my eyes closed

“Did you know 12% of people dream in black and white?”

“Wha-what?” Hotch groggily looked at the time on his phone. He had answered it blindly, autopilot kicking in to attend to the buzzing beside him on the couch. He blinked again and brought the phone back to his ear to hear Spencer’s voice more clearly.

“Yeah! It used to be a lot more when television was only in black and white but now that’s shifted obviously. Elderly people are still a lot more likely to have dreams that are—“

“Spencer,” Hotch interrupted the way the words were beginning to tumble out. When he was met with an abrupt silence he realized he didn’t have a follow up, he just needed a moment to breathe. To take in the dark living room, the flickering light of the television, its muted colors and grainy film showing a syndicated rerun, the kind only played in the middle of the night or the middle of the day, times when no productive person was meant to be watching. Something soft in its age, he found it comforting to put it on when he couldn’t sleep, woken again by nightmares that some monster had found their way to Haley and Jack. That they were suffering and he didn’t even know.

On the other end of the line, Spencer held his breath. He had been nervous about making the call, he wasn’t sure if it was too intrusive, too far across the boundaries they normally worked within. It wasn’t that he was worried about waking Hotch, he knew the other man was already awake. Even before they had started talking more, casually sharing details about the time they spent away from the office, it was obvious that Hotch did not sleep like a normal person. It was something else that they shared.

Seemingly endless minutes passed without another word from either man and his fear that he’d made a mistake grew. He told himself that Hotch was not pleased with the interruption. That he was being too assuming—why would Hotch be interested in anything he had to say at three in the morning? He’d called spurred on by the acute need to share a thought and, though he wasn’t totally conscious of it, a wish to hear that comforting voice, maybe even a quiet chuckle. He had smiled imagining that gentle sound, only he hadn’t realized it, the corners of his mouth moving without informing the rest of his mind. He touched his lips now with cold fingertips, running them over the dry skin, oblivious to the way his jaw clenched.

The silence between them hung like a bridge. There was a moment where both of them looked out at their respective living rooms, mentally steeling themselves to take a step and hope the other would meet them. Hope that they wouldn’t find themselves suspended over the water, alone as ever.

“I’m sorry for calling so late,” Spencer sounded so remorseful Hotch felt guilty immediately. He hadn’t meant cause him any anxiety with his long silence, he was just trying his best to gather his thoughts. To make sense of what he meant to do.

“It’s ok, really, I—“ Hotch hesitated, unsure how much detail to go into, how much reassurance was the right amount. He felt unreasonably awkward suddenly and twitched his fingers in irritation, “I wasn’t really sleeping anyway.”

“Really?” Spencer scrunched his eyes up, disliking the eagerness bleeding from his voice. He couldn’t help it though, the prospect of having the other man’s attention, even if it was only his voice reflecting from a satellite, knowing that Hotch was listening made him feel more secure. He’d spent too many restless nights pacing his apartment, starting and abandoning tasks in attempts to distract himself from the way the night was pressing uncomfortably close, threatening to overtake his mind. To have a friend to talk to, to reflect back his own reality, was a gift he could barely believe he deserved.

Hotch grunted as he adjusted himself on the couch cushions, supporting the back of his head on the pillows, resting the phone between his shoulder and ear. With his free hand he pulled up the blanket that had tangled at his feet. “Wide awake,” he said dryly. “What were you saying about dreams?”

Spencer’s smile was so big Hotch could hear it through the phone as the man stumbled ahead with the details of some completely unnecessary study. Hotch wanted to ask what had led to him reading such a thing but he was enjoying the happy way Spencer was running through all the new material he’d learned. He adored listening to Spencer speak, how he sometimes stopped short when remembering a related detail and how there’d be a pause while he took a split second to make the choice whether to jump to the new train of thought. Hotch smiled to himself and was pleased enough to offer hums of interest at inflection points. He let his eyes wander back to the television, as the title credits of another episode of Bonanza played across the screen, the pale wheat and horses and cowboys, already a distant fantasy in the 1960s, ancient history by today’s standards. His eyes fell half closed as he continued to listen to Reid’s voice.

“And, they just published a new study about how sleep deprivation decreases the body’s pain tolerance.”

Hotch snorted softly at this. “They really had to get a bunch of scientists together to figure that out? Someone paid for that?”

“Well it is always important to gather data and scientific evidence for these types of things. Anecdotal testimony won’t lead to any developments in the care for conditions like chronic pain,” Reid paused when he heard more quiet laughter from Aaron. He grinned.

“Do you want to hear something really crazy? They’ve found a connection between a person’s favorite sleeping position and their personality. Can you imagine!”

“Hmmph,” Hotch sank deeper into the cushions, settling in for whatever came next.

*

The calls became as regular as the midnight pancakes. Spencer would call with some piece of trivia, every night a new topic. He had a seemingly endless well of knowledge to draw on. In truth he spent the day trying to think of new ideas to share, new information he thought Hotch would appreciate. For no reason other than his own private satisfaction, he grouped topics thematically. This week they were going to be talking about space.

Now Hotch was ready, drowsy but checking his phone every few minutes to see if he’d somehow missed it ringing. He was looking at it yet again when it buzzed. He stared at the screen for a moment before answering, letting the name that flashed send a small thrill up his spine. He was not sure how it’d happened but he had come to rely on these calls. They still hadn’t discussed it, hadn’t acknowledged what this extracurricular time spent together might mean. They were simply seeking comfort, not questioning how this might be perceived outside these invisible moments.

“Hey Spence,” he barely got the words out before Spencer launched into that night’s prepared curiosities.

“Did you know most of the visible stars are actually multiple star systems? The singular stars are so much harder to see that astronomers used to believe that it was fairly uncommon to find a singular star like our sun.They hypothesized this was a contributing factor to why we hadn’t found evidence of extraterrestrial life. It is much harder for a planet to have the stability necessary for a habitable atmosphere with the potential fluctuations of a binary star system. Without as many single stars it made sense that it was exceedingly unlikely for life to form outside of our solar system.”

“I think it’d be nice,” Hotch murmured, not really thinking about what he was saying.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, ah,” Hotch stammered, a little embarrassed to have the comment acknowledged. He felt his neck growing warm as he tried to make out a reply. “Well, having two suns. I think it could be nice."
 “Why?” Spencer was genuinely curious.

“Um, I guess, I imagine it would be warmer for one,” he paused before adding on, waiting to see what Spencer’s reaction might be. He could almost hear the wheels of his mind turning with all the reasons Hotch’s logic was faulty. He hurried on before he became too self-conscious to finish his thought. “And, I’ve just never really liked the night, all the darkness. Maybe with two suns we could have a little more light in the world.”

Instead of responding, Spencer remained quiet, surprised by this uncharacteristically whimsical thought. Hotch could feel his whole neck had turned red, along with the warming tips of his ears.

“I—I don’t really like the night either,” he tried to sympathize. “It can feel…overwhelming.”

They sat for a moment, not sure where to take this or how the facts had turned into feelings.

“I’m happy I have you to talk to though.”

It was simple, but it was true and sweet and Hotch smiled, closing his eyes to better absorb the words.

“I’m happy too, Spencer.”

Now they were both blushing, the depth of meaning behind these brief statements readily apparent. For a moment, feeling the heat dancing across his face, Hotch wondered if this wasn’t a mistake. Maybe he was allowing things to become something irresponsible, something he couldn’t so easily walk back. He pictured Spencer, sitting across from him, animated and full of life, pulling further away from the shadows that teased around the edges. It didn’t matter, he decided. It didn’t matter what this was, only that they had found a hand to hold through the night.

“So, what else have you got for me?”

~Part 3~

[ghosthunthq]

The Bones in the Acid 2

By: @sprghosthunter

Prompt:  crime investigation AU

“What?! You promised me a DNA sample!” Mai shouted over the phone. She slammed her hand down onto her desk and groaned into the phone, “I thought you were the best at this kind of stuff!” 

“If you would give me a moment to explain,” Oliver’s tone was stern. “There was a lab accident with one of my interns, and the remains were damaged. They are far more fragile, and no longer viable to provide a reasonable sample.”

“Could you get a partial sample? Anything?!”

“Maybe…but I have had no success thus far. If they hadn’t been doused in acid originally, perhaps I might have been able to get…something by now.”

Rubbing her palm over her face, Mai mumbled, “Well…what else can you get for me? Can’t you figure out where he grew up, based on chemicals or something?”

“I am currently examining the isotopes, but given the damage to the bones I can’t guarantee that I will find anything helpful. I did, however, find one thing of interest.”

“Oh?” Mai’s tone changed and she tilted her head, “You did? Well, what is it?”

“There is a nick in his lower left mandible, where his carotid artery should have been.”

Mai slouched back into her chair, “So, his throat was slashed?”

“Yes. I’m also in the process of figuring out what, exactly, created the wound.”

“A knife… obviously…”

She could hear Oliver rolling his eyes over the phone. “Yes…I’m trying to determine what components are in the steel, as well as the shape of the blade. It will narrow your search for a murder weapon.”

“Well, call me back as soon as you find out!”

…line break…

Holding the mandible with gloved hands, Oliver frowned. He had been staring at it for a while, determined to find something he hadn’t yet seen. As he rotated the bone in his hand his cell phone began to ring. He ignored it, as Oliver didn’t care to break his focus. Shortly after the phone ceased its ringing, it began again, much to Oliver’s dismay.

Sighing, Oliver reached into his pocket and answered it, expecting that Mai had called to exchange new information.

“Yes?”

“Has your brother called you this week?” It was Luella. Oliver glanced at his watch and frowned. It was nine in the evening. He had lost track of time again…

Oliver blinked before continuing with his examination, “No.”

“He hasn’t called me. He always calls me on Tuesdays.”

“It’s possible he forgot. Gene is rather irresponsible at times.”

“Noll! Truly, I’m worried! He’s not answering his phone! Or his email!”

Annoyed, the anthropologist set down the remains. He held his phone between his shoulder and ear as he removed his beige gloves.

“I’ll go and check on him then…” Oliver was certain it would be a waste of his time.

…line break…

He gaped as the gears in his mind turned. With a tentative step, Oliver entered the ransacked flat. The floorboards creaked with each step he took and his fingers tightened around the phone in his grasp. He couldn’t find the will to dial for help, not that anybody needed it.

Finally, after shaking his initial sense of shock, Oliver pocketed the mobile device. Directly ahead, he observed shattered glass at the base of the mint-tinted wall. Oliver knelt down before the shards. He pulled a photo of his brother and himself from the jagged rubble and frowned. 

Had… There been… Was there a fight…?

Oliver continued his investigation of the flat, photo in hand. The television in the living room was lying on the floor, portions of the screen surrounding it. The sectional had also been overturned, navy fabric torn to shreds, and the coffee table was snapped in two. 

“Gene… you idiot…” Noll hissed, reaching for the bedroom door, “You better be here…”

But when Oliver opened the door he was greeted by another mess. A broken mirror hung on the far side of the room, offering Oliver a partial reflection. The mattress laid beneath a mangled bed frame, flaunting a number of its internal springs. Clothes were strewn about, and the blinds had been violently ripped from the window.

Among all the damage was no sign of Gene.

…line break…

Mai raced up the stairs of the complex as her team loaded equipment into the elevator. She had been at home, nursing a cup of hot chocolate when Oliver gave her a call. He had been silent while she demanded information, and once he spoke to her, he explained that he needed a team out at Gene’s apartment. The reasoning behind Oliver’s request had Mai dressed and in a car within minutes.

Gene was missing.

As Mai conquered the third flight of stairs, she encountered Oliver in the hall. He was squatting by an open door, staring down. In his hands was a crumpled photograph.

“Naru…?” She was surprised by his vulnerable appearance.

The scientist was quick to stand and compose himself. His expression, as almost always, was vague as he looked at Mai. However, the sapphire coloring of his eyes shone brightly, allowing for a glimpse past his facade. 

“Oh… Naru…” Mai whispered. She moved to hug him, offer some sort of comfort, but he shifted back, away from her.

“I was unable to find his wallet. I assume it was taken… Do you think your team can track his account?”

Mai frowned. Of course they could… and they would… but… Mai knew Oliver would have known that.

“You… think it’s a robbery gone wrong?” She bit her lip.

Oliver shrugged, “I don’t know… but that’s how it appears, minus the fact I was unable to find any traces of blood.” He tossed the small light he had been keeping in his pocket to Mai. 

Mai almost burst, but she restrained herself. He had gone through the crime scene! Without anyone else!

“I’m going back to the lab…” He walked past her. “I want to try and confirm my suspicion.”

Her face drained of all color as she recalled what she had said that morning. The description Oliver gave of the poor man they had discovered… they were similar to Oliver, which meant… it wasn’t impossible for them to belong to Gene.

“Wait!” Mai grabbed onto his sleeve. Oliver glanced at her. “We don’t have the evidence to-”

“We very well might,” Oliver interrupted. “I’m going back now to find out.” He gently removed his arm from Mai’s grasp and continued walking. When her hand latched onto him again, he sighed.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

Mai released him in an instant, obviously hurt by his offered condolence. She tightened her jaw and raised her hand, ready to slap him. Before Mai could smack her hand against his cheek, she stopped. Her fingers curled into her palm and she turned away from Oliver. 

The damned idiot…

“Here…” Oliver placed a hand on Mai’s shoulder. When she faced him, he placed the picture he had been holding into her breast pocket. “You should be the one to have this.”

Unable to fully understand, Mai stepped away and wrenched the gloss print from her pocket. After observing it, she bared her teeth and spun on her heel, prepared to tell Oliver off for being such a moron, but he was already gone.

[francoiserenaldt]

week three

last week | next week

warnings: several mentions of death, potentially triggering references to c****a, angst central, desirée is Bad At Feelings

word count: 1951

Sunday, August 17th, 2023 - Day 15 of quarantine

“Westchester County residents should be expected to shelter in place for at least 5 more weeks. Healthcare professionals are resigning by the hundreds as the disease spreads to nurses and doctors throughout the country. Over half of all patients that have tested positive for the Westchester Plague have either committed suicide or attempted to commit suicide. More at noon.” 

“It only gets worse and worse every day,” Desirée frowns.

“Maybe we should take a break from the news for a while.” Andy turns the TV off and heads into the kitchen. “What do you want to eat?”

“Um…” Desirée could probably read him a numbered and alphabetized list of foods that she would ruin right about now, but she refrains. “What do we have?” 

“Well, there’s some ramen in here…”

Not ideal, but it’ll have to do. They are in the middle of an epidemic, after all. “Awesome.” 

So they eat chicken flavored ramen like a pair of broke college students while watching some old anime, which Andy adamantly rejects the second the words leave her lips (“Avatar: The Last Airbender is a cartoon, Desirée”), and she lets her mind wander. 

Eventually, it arrives to Andy, as it seems to do more and more often these days. His name warms her skin like the sun on a late summer afternoon. His presence feels like the down comforter on her bed after a long day of work. 

A small smile plays at her lips as she leans into the promise of an exciting summer and sweet dreams. It welcomes her with open arms and promises fond memories for years to come. But as soon as she goes to take it, she finds herself drenched in a raging storm. 

While they polish off the last of their cups, a devastating truth hits her. 

As lovely as their moment feels, its end is as inevitable as the bone-chilling winter or the start of a new day. 

Monday, August 18th, 2023 - Day 16 of quarantine

“Did you want to give video games another try?” Andy asks tentatively. Then, like the infuriating bastard he is, he smirks. “I promise I’ll let you win.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Desirée retorts, donning a small smile. 

“Don’t get too cocky or I’ll have to show you up.” Andy 

After a tense round of Mortal Kombat, the TV screen flashes a victory. Andy slumps back, defeated. 

“I...how…?”

“Lily and I used to play. I’m excellent at playing dumb, Andy,” Desirée smirks. “You know this about me.” 

He shakes his head. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“If you say so.” Desiree rolls her neck and stretches her arms. “Ready for round 2?”

Tuesday, August 19th, 2023 - Day 17 of quarantine

“Scientists have found that cutis dissolutitis, better known as the Westchester Plague, mutated from Bacillus subtilis, a bacteria species found in dirt that acts as a decomposer of organic materials. It was first found in a large forest area. The best way to protect against this epidemic is to cover all exposed skin when you’re outside and sanitize once you’re inside.” A disgruntled news anchor reports from the outside of a nondescript building. The only patch of visible skin is around his eyes, which are covered by transparent goggles. 

Desirée gasps suddenly. “Oh my god, the woods. Andy, you don’t think that…”

He catches the implication. “There’s no way. Devon would never do this.” 

“We never suspected that Jane...or Noah…” She shakes her head. “I just hope not.”

Wednesday, August 20th, 2023 - Day 18 of quarantine

The official body count is projected to be 100. Over 200 citizens in the county have reported testing positive for the virus and 400 more are showing symptoms. Ignoring the news at this point is just short of irresponsible, but fear keeps her from lingering on the headlines.

As the day winds to a close, a feeling of dread slowly infiltrates her mind. The thought of tomorrow makes her skin crawl. Her stomach inverts and reverts on a constant loop as she reads yet another headline about yet another person committing suicide to avoid the disease. 

The sun sets and she’s overcome with a terrible truth. A subtle prick of worry that blossoms into a deep ache in her chest that she can’t quite place. 

“Something terrible is going to happen tomorrow.” Desirée whispers aloud. She locks herself in the bathroom as she feels the omen leave her lips. Andy doesn’t need to hear this. “Something that will change everything we thought was true.” 

Thursday, August 21st, 2023 - Day 19 of quarantine

They don’t bother changing out of their pajamas anymore. 

An alert on her phone tells her that the death toll in Westchester County has climbed from 100 to 1,000 overnight. Westchester alone has lost a third of its population. Then, she gets the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dizzy,” Lily sniffles.

She knows that something is very wrong for two reasons. One, no one has called her Dizzy since her junior year in high school. Two, Lily is a notorious night owl and wouldn’t be caught out of bed before 9 in the morning if she had her way, let alone willingly engaging in human interaction. If she was calling at 8 AM, it had to be serious.

“Lily, is everything okay?” Desirée whispered as she tiptoed out of bed to avoid waking Andy.

“It’s my mom.” She sobs, and suddenly she can no longer hear the hum of the vents above her head or the whirring of her computer on the coffee table. “She has the plague.”

“Lily, how long has she had it?”

“I don’t know.” She sobs harder. “They’re queueing everyone on the block for testing.”

“Lily, it’s going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay,” Desirée whispers. The burning in her eyes and the constricting feeling in her throat tell her that she’s crying, too. “You’re going to be okay.”

She’s lying through her teeth and she knows it, but the words seem to offer Lily some comfort as she recites them back to her.

“I will be okay,” she chokes out. “Everything will be okay.”

“If you need anything at all…”

“I know who to call,” Lily replies. The line goes dead.

Desirée holds the phone to her chest and sends a silent prayer. It’s bad enough that you’ve taken a third of our town. Please don’t take Lily, too.

Silent tears stream down her cheeks as she prays over and over again. 

Don’t take Lily. 

Don’t take Lily. 

Don’t take Lily.

It’s that exact moment that Andy wraps his arms around Desirée’s middle and buries his head in the crook of her neck. She’s suddenly overcome with guilt and shame as she turns to him with shining eyes. 

“Andy, I-”

“Shhh.” He shakes his head and pulls her into his chest, blinking back tears of his own. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Soon, everyone knows. The news is bleaker than ever, with cameras being shoved into the grieving families of the victims and the death toll climbing by the hour. As the day crawls to an end and she lays in Andy’s arms, one thing becomes astoundingly apparent. 

Life will never be the same again.

Friday, August 22nd, 2023 - Day 20 of quarantine

It becomes physically unbearable to look at the news. Desirée briefly considers letting Andy unplug the TV again.

No one takes the news of Lily’s mother well, but Ava seems to struggle with it the most.  She refuses to answer phone calls from anyone and only replies in short, but extremely worrying sentences. 

“I wish this wasn’t going on so that I could check on her.” Desirée sighs after a fifth “missed” call. She’s curled up on the living room sofa with her head hanging on the arm. Her eyes are shut tight. “But here we are.” 

“She’s never really been the emotional type, Rée.” 

“That’s why I’m so worried about her. If she’s shutting down this early, what’s she gonna do if Mrs. Ortiz doesn’t make it?” 

“I don’t know, but I think what Ava needs right now is space.” 

“Andy, I can’t just let her spiral.” She sits up at this, frowning.

“I know it’s hard to see her like this, but you can’t protect everyone.” 

“I know I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.” Desirée whispers. “But I can help.”

“What happened with Devon wasn’t your fault, Desirée. The only person you should blame is-”

“Don’t.” 

“The point I’m making is that you don’t always have to be everyone’s person.” Andy stares deeply into her eyes. For a second, it feels as if he’s seeing her every flaw, every imperfection she’s buried deep into her heart and mind, every secret she’s ever kept and maybe even the ones she didn’t. For the longest second, it feels as if he’s peering into her soul and reading it with the ease of a picture book and she’s helpless to turn away and shut him out despite the fact that she desperately wants to. “You’re always so focused on being there for everyone else, but who’s going to be there for you?”

You. She almost whispers. It’s always been you.

“A therapist.” She replies instead, forcing a small smile. “And a bottle of wine.”

“Take care of yourself.” Andy squeezes her shoulders once and turns for the bedroom. “Let someone else be there for you once in a while.”

“Someone else like who?”

“I don’t think either one of us is ready for that conversation.”

“You sure?” Desirée retorts, suddenly emboldened. She’s not the only mind reader between them and she’ll be damned if Andy Kang gets to leave her wondering like every night before. “Because I feel plenty ready to talk. If you’re scared of going there, just say that.”

“Who’s scared?” Andy turns back around, staring her down. She holds her own, meeting his gaze head on. “I’ll go there if that’s what you want.”

“Hey, don’t hold back on my account. If you want to say something, I’m all ears.”

“Could you handle that?” He walks slowly toward her as he speaks, sizing her up. “Could you handle it if I told you that I wish you’d stop trying to play tough all the time and open up to me like you used to? That I wish we’d just quit this dance where we pretend we’re still not in love with each other?” Her breath catches and his face is inches away from hers, so much so that she can feel his breath on her cheeks. “Could you even function knowing that?”

“I could. You know why?” She finally responds, placing her hand directly onto his chest. “Nothing is the way it used to be, Andy. We’re not the way we used to be when this started and we’ll never be those people again. So I suggest…” She tilts her head upwards and brushes her lips against his chin. “...you make peace with that.”

She lets him meditate on her words as she heads toward the bedroom and into the conjoined bathroom, where she finally lets her face rest in her hands as she cries.

Saturday, August 23, 2023 - Day 21 of quarantine

They don’t speak for most of the day. 

“I probably should’ve told you this earlier,” Desirée tells Andy during the evening. They’ve just eaten dinner. “But everything that happened on Thursday...I felt it.” 

“You...what?”

“I’d just been feeling horrible all day and I thought my anxiety was just acting up, but then I just felt this ache in my chest and I knew something awful was going to happen.” 

“What did it feel like?” 

“Death.” She inhales a shaky breath before nodding resolutely. “It felt like death.”

[neutral-nobody]

Nadir

A/N: I declare myself angst champion of Fear Gas February as I posted first. Good job me. Unless someone snipes me whilst I have this queued. In which case, lmao good job.

Synopsis: Mana gets called to the teacher’s office to discuss recent events. 

Word Count: 3003

Virus world belongs to @voiceoflarka

Waiting to see Delta and Psi was not how Mana had been expecting to spend her afternoon. Sure, she had been expecting to see Delta at some point again, given what had happened with Nao. She had intermittently been checking in with the team to see how they were adjusting without Mu around, and how Victor was treating them. There were no issues with Victor, of course. He had been nice enough, extremely nice given the circumstances that had led to them meeting. Mana was honestly shocked at just how nice he was, and he didn’t run away from them either. Such a big change.

A clap of thunder distracted Mana from her thoughts. She turned to look out the window, the rain pouring down and a flash of lightning here and there.

Thunder roaring in the sky

Waves crashing into the side of the -

Mana shook herself out of it and squeezed her hands together. Now was not the time to think about last week. The team’s trip to the DC District had been an attempt to get themselves out of the funk they had fallen into post Mu’s departure. It could not have gone any worse. There had been an attack in the area they were visiting, the group had gotten split up, and then Mana -

Waves crashing into the side of the ship

Lightning strikes

The mast -

Again, Mana squeezed her hands tightly, trying to ground herself back in the present. That was in the past now. Not something she had to worry about. For now, it was preparing what she would say to Delta. And Psi, apparently. Mana was still unsure as to why he was there. The team had been keeping their distance from Gamma-Psi over the last few weeks, Gamma and Psi especially. It was a combination of respect and shame that left them incapable of facing them. Mu had been driven away, how could they not be mad on behalf of their sibling?

Mana knew how close Mu was with Psi. She wasn’t a fool, she could see it in how they interacted. There was just something about the way the two of them talked, it was special. So for Psi to be here, Mana had a feeling of dread wash over her further. What if this was it? Psi and Delta were both there to tell her Mu was not coming back. But would they not have the whole team there for that conversation? The rest of them were training with Victor currently. Or perhaps they were going to tell them one at a time. Or perhaps they would ask Mana to break the news to them. 

The mast comes crashing -

“Get it together Mana…” she whispered to herself, placing her head in her hands and breathing deeply. The clashes of thunder kept booming outside, not helping to settle her. Readjusting herself in the chair, she pulled out her phone to look at something to distract herself from her thoughts. A news headline caught her eye.

“DC Dastardly Demon Detained!”

“At least they caught the bastard,” she sighed and scrolled away from it. She was supposed to be distracting herself, not remembering what happened last week. She looked at the other stories on the site. An influx of monsters appearing in the Dark Souls District, an evil scientist caught trying to poison the clouds in the Disney District, a foreign envoy sent to Fan Net in celebration of the nation’s prospering friendship. Mana recognised the writer of that story to be Toyota, and she chuckled at that. 

“Always after the big story.”

The door creaked open as the trainees of Team Gamma-Psi filtered out of the room. Jolly was missing, but Mana recalled hearing she was under the weather. She had probably stayed in the dorm. Mana was unable to catch a glimpse of Delta and Psi as Horns closed the door behind them. Mana looked over the group, they seemed alright, like it wasn’t too stressful of a meeting. The trio offered her a smile.

“They’ll call you in a bit,” Glitch said. “They’re said they need to chat first.”

“Oh… that’s okay, I guess!” Mana offered them a smile in turn. However, the look on Horns’ face turned from a smile to one of concern.

“Mana, are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Her tone was harsher than she meant to be.

“You’re… you’re shaking.”

Mana looked down at herself, and sure enough, she was. A slight tremble in her legs and arms. 

The mast comes crashing down

Debris scatters

A pain in her right arm

“I… I’ll be fine,” she rubbed her right arm and looked away from them. “Just nerves.”

“If you say so,” Callow said, and Mana knew by his tone he did not believe her. She was sure none of them did. Given her state, why should they?

“Okay, let’s go guys,” Glitch said, starting to walk away. “We’ll catch up later, Mana!”

“Yeah… let us know if you need anything, okay?” Horns offered.

“Just no more pencils,” Callow joked half-heartedly. “You’ve nearly run me dry for the month.”

“Fair enough,” Mana gave them a weak smile back and waved as they walked away. A wave of guilt washed over her as she remembered how she had been avoiding them for several weeks now. She hoped they would understand. They would have noticed Mu was gone, that something had happened, even if Gamma and Psi had not gone into full detail on it. She was becoming good friends with them; hopefully they could forgive Mana and her team down the line. When things were sorted out.

If things sorted out.

Debris scatters

A pain in her right arm

Unable to -

Mana rubbed her arm again, noticing her shaking was getting worse. She had to pull it together, she couldn’t let Delta and Psi see her like this. She had to be composed, well put together, like she wasn’t devastated at probably losing one of her friends forever and traumatised by a reminder of the past just a week ago. 

“Miss Nobody?” Delta’s familiar voice called out to her as she opened the door.

“We’re ready for you,” Psi said simply.

Mana took a deep breath and entered the room. She was okay. 

She was okay.

Unable to move it

She had to be. 

---

“So whilst we still don’t know if Mu wishes to return to his mentorship,” Delta adjusted her glasses with a soft sigh, “It is good to see you are all making progress with Victor.”

“Yes, he’s very nice,” Mana agreed, doing her best to offer a smile. 

“He seems to be a good fit for your team. I hope you continue to treat him well.”

“We will.”

Mana was saying that more to herself than anything. Overall this conversation had gone about the way she had expected. Better, even, since they hadn’t confirmed her fears of Mu pulling the plug on them. There was one thing she still couldn’t figure out though; Psi’s presence in the meeting. As far as she was aware, he had not been part of any conversations between her teammates and Delta regarding this matter, and he had not said a word the whole time. Finally, he broke his silence.

“There is one more incident we would like to discuss with you.”

“Incident?” 

Unable to move

Cracked all the way down

“A matter brought up by Suvanne.”

“Ah,” Mana immediately lowered her gaze, knowing where this was about to go. 

“I can see you’re aware of what we’re about to discuss,” Psi brought a file up from behind the desk, took out some papers and placed them in front of her. Her eyes glanced over them and she immediately recognised them to be her trip to the hospital from last week.

“The incident in the DC District last week was well reported on,” Delta continued on for him. “A demon virus captured after endangering civilians with his schemes.”

The ship swaying frantically

More waves crashing

Capsized

So much blue

Below -

“Numerous reports of them using Fear Gas, several viruses hospitalised and treated for it,” Psi added. “Suvanne made mention that your team was there on the day.”

Mana sighed. Suvanne and her were the only two there. A group of civilians in the way of the device.

Below the surface

Suvanne had told her to stop.

Above

She had ran to try and help get them out of the way. 

Below

“Miss Nobody,” Psi brought her back to the present. “It was extremely irresponsible of you to not mention this to us. We could have offered you assistance with therapy or time away.”

Above

Trying to find the shore

Swimming -

“Your grades have slipped this past week, well below your average,” Delta explained, pulling out a chart of her class efforts. She was right, Mana had not been focused at all. Her mind was swimming with a thousand thoughts and memories at a time. 

Swimming towards it

Below

Above

“On top of that, your team's grades have fallen around you. Even Liadan has performed below average. You know how serious that is.”

Swimming towards it again

Below

“Why did you not say anything? Did you really think we would not find out about this?”

“I…” Mana was trying to find her words. Something to say. Anything. There were no words. Nothing was coming out. All that was there was her flickering memories.

Above

Getting tired

Still trying to swim

“I honestly thought you wouldn’t.”

Below

Above

So tired

“You give us no credit,” Psi said, his voice slightly dry. “However, it may have taken us much longer to hear about this. You’re lucky your teammate told us what happened. It was foolish of you to try and face this on your own.”

So tired

Below

Can’t get back up

“Miss Nobody.”

One arm still trying

Lungs bursting

So much blue

“Miss Nobody.”

Clutching at mouth and nose

A gulp of water

“Mana!”

Delta’s shout brought her crashing back into reality.

“You’re crying.”

Mana tried to steady her breaths as she reached up to touch her face. Sure enough, tears were streaming down. Psi pulled a tissue out of the box on the desk and handed it to her, which she took and gently wiped them away, then holding herself to try and stop the shaking. The pair just sat in silence, allowing Mana some time to pull herself together. 

“I think you can see after this why we think you’re not currently fit for studying or partaking in classes,” Psi said, his tone now more gentle than before. Mana just nodded in response, not able to bring herself to talk. 

“I’ve spoken with Victor,” Delta continued. “We’ve agreed, given everything that’s happened for the past several weeks, your team will be given a week away from classes. Take some time to sort yourselves out and regroup. You have a lot of things to think over. If this is truly what you all want, and are capable of meeting the expectations set out for you.”

“You may still train with Victor when he has time,” Psi added. “But please, use this time wisely.”

Mana nodded again, waiting for them to respond. 

A gulp of water

Trying to surface again

Lungs filling

“That is all we wanted to discuss with you today,” Delta finally broke the silence. Seemed they had been waiting for her to say anything. 

“We won’t pry on what you saw,” Psi handed her a card. “But this is a list of therapists and psychologists. I highly recommend you talk to someone about this. Even if it’s none of these viruses, at least your teammates.”

“Alright, I’ll try,” Mana finally found her words, even if they were a little croaky. 

“Should you need anything else, please come see one of us,” Delta offered her a small smile. “That will be all, Miss Nobody.”

“Okay. Thank you both for your time.”

Mana spun around and headed for the door.

Lungs filling

Opening it and heading straight for the dorm. The storm was still roaring overhead, Mana ran across the courtyard past his tree. No time to throw a pencil, no time to even spare a glance as she ran to get out of the rain.

Consciousness fading 

So much blue

Trying to stop the crying once again. 

---

The storm had not subsided in the hour and a half Mana sat alone in the dorm, with nothing but the thunder and her turbulent memories for comfort. She had been tasked with preparing dinner for the team since she would be home earlier, but she ended up ordering pizza for everyone instead. She was in no state for cooking, and she needed comfort food. Everyone else would too when they found out about the mandatory week off, she figured. The delivery girl gave Mana a sympathetic smile on her exit, clearly noticing the dour expression on her face.

“This is going to be a long night…” Mana mumbled, placing the pizzas down on the coffee table in front of the tv. “Maybe a movie will take our mind off things…”

So much blue

Darkness

A cough and splutter

“Will this ever end?!” Mana shouted, clutching at her head and trying to push past these memories. It had been bad enough relieving them thanks to the fear gas. Feeling like she was dying, that her time had come again and this time there was no one to save her. The feeling of the water inside of her. The blue surrounding her. The fact these memories continued to linger after she had worked so hard to push them away was exhausting. Mana just took a seat in the middle of the couch and rested her head in her hands, trying to calm herself down. 

A few minutes later, the door opened and the team filtered through. Looking up Mana could tell one thing from the look on their faces; Victor had told them about the week off. Their faces were a combination of flat, depressed, and angry; with the rage mostly coming from Liadan, surprisingly. Noticing the pizza, the team joined Mana around the couches. 

“Hey Mana, how are you doing?” Victor asked, offering her a smile.

A cough and splutter

Arms holding her

Sirens wailing

“Just peachy, thank you.”

“I see,” Victor said, clearly not believing her. Mana knew he had no reason to, odds were he’d already spoken with Delta and Psi about what happened in their meeting. Mu had told her a few things about the mind link, how the 99ers could communicate with each other from anywhere at any time. Victor would easily have been able to check in, see how the meeting went, and know it went poorly.

“Will we see you tomorrow?” Suv asked, breaking a noticeable silence as Mana and Victor stared at each other. Victor blinked a few times before turning to him, apparently having lost his trail of thought. 

“I think it’s best if you guys have the day off entirely tomorrow,” Victor explained gently. “Take some time to clear your heads, without distractions.”

“If that’s what you think is best,” Liadan sneered, a harshness to her voice. Mana noticed Victor flinch at it. Of all of the trainees, Liadan had hit it off the best with their new mentor, so he was clearly not expecting such an angry response from her. 

“We’ll see you when we see you then,” Xav agreed. 

“Alright then, enjoy your pizza guys,” Victor smiled again, heading for the door. Turning back, his smile dropped to a look of concern. “I’ll be back in two days, stay safe.”

“Tch, not hard to stay safe when we’re just going to be cooped up here,” Nao grumbled, folding his arms as Victor closed the door. 

Sirens wailing

Darkness again

A cold -

“How did your meeting go?” Suv asked her.

“You know how it went,” Mana glared at him as she snarled.

A cold bed

Strange eyes on her

“Mana, I’m-” 

“I know,” tears welled in Mana’s eyes as she pressed her face into her hands. “I know you’re sorry Suv, and I’m sorry too.”

Suv moved to sit next to her, tears in his eyes as well as he leaned on Mana’s shoulder. Liadan moved as well and leaned on her other one. Xav and Nao sat down on the floor and rested a head on each of her legs. Mana wept silently as her teammates joined her, letting out their emotions from the last several weeks.

“If it helps,” Xav said, breaking the silence a few minutes later, “They were always going to find out.”

“I guess so,” Mana said, chuckling to herself. The tension eased around the group as they moved away from each other, finally starting on the pizza. 

Strange eyes on her

A nurse leaves the room

“I really think we need this week off,” Liadan said, wiping away tears as she munched a slice. “As much as it pains me to say it.”

“We’re sure you won’t let us slip behind,” Nao teased, also wiping his tears. He wolfed his slice down in one bite, which Liadan winced at. 

“Did they say Mu was coming back?” Suv asked Mana.

“No,”

A doctor speaks to her

A thunderclap outside 

“No he’s still not coming. He still hasn’t turned in his resignation, though.” Mana stared at her pizza, trying to find a sense of appetite. 

“Oh, okay…” Suv trailed off. He joined Mana in staring at the slice rather than eating it.

“He’s not coming back,” Nao mumbled.

“You don’t know that,” Xav scolded him, waving his pizza at him. “He will. You’ll see.”

A thunderclap outside

“Mana, what are we going to do?” Liadan asked her. It was more of a plea, not something Mana was expecting. Not something she had the answer to either.

The nurse rushes back 

A man follows her in

“I…” Trying to find something. Anything.

Piercing blue eyes filled with hidden rage 

“I don’t know.”

[the-colony-roleplay]

Juliana Casiano | Forty;  Elite

House: Calyset Status: Uninfected Elite Specification: Lab Researcher and Science Teacher Alignment: New Wave Reformist

History

Juliana and her brother were complete opposites. He was skipping school, partying, and getting in fights while Juliana was studying, sleeping, or organizing one of her many extra curricular activities. In most houses Juliana would have been the golden child, the source of her parent’s pride, but in her household it was her brother. In her parents’ eyes he was the one living life to the fullest and the one that would eventually take over the family business. It wasn’t until he started being extremely irresponsible with the family’s delicate inventory, that their parents realized he had a problem. Growing up, Juliana didn’t really understand why there always seemed to be hushed voices around her parents restaurant and why there was a room she wasn’t allowed in but delivery drivers were allowed to come and go  as they pleased. Soon, she became aware that the reason for those things was that her parents were one of the largest distributors of illegal drugs in Queens. Learning this about her parents only made Juliana commit to her studies more as she desperately wanted to be different than her parents and knew someone like her brother was bound to get wrapped up in it all. Looking back, she wished she hadn’t left her brother to deal with it: their parents, the business, the drugs, and eventually his addiction. But at time, Juliana couldn’t predict the consequences of her actions and was simply doing what she thought was best.

Juliana’s intense commitment to her academics and clubs initially paid off well as she graduated valedictorian of her private Catholic school and was heavily awarded scholarships to NYU. In the summer before going to college, Juliana decided to work at her parent’s restaurant to pay for the few things her scholarships wouldn’t cover. There she met a young man who worked with the more illegal side of things. At first she had no interest in someone as irresponsible as him but as June turned into July, Juliana realized that she missed out on being carefree. All through school, she only cared about making good grades and having the perfect college application, never caring about parties or drugs or boys. When Rodrigo, the young man, asked if she wanted to go to a Fourth of July fireworks show with him she refused to think about the possible consequences and agreed to go. As they made love underneath the fireworks, for the first time in her life she let the worries melt away. However, her new carefree attitude was short lived when her pregnancy test turned out positive a week before she is supposed to move into the NYU dorms. To Juliana’s surprise, Rodrigo really seemed to step up to the plate. He bought an apartment for them both and fully furnished the nursery, promising to take care of both Juliana and their baby together. And of course, she fell for it.

Rodrigo went back to the life of crime and drugs and Juliana quickly failed out of online school as juggling motherhood and grades good enough to uphold her scholarships was more than she could handle. However, it wasn’t all bad, Juliana loved her son, Christopher, more than anything in the world. It wasn’t until Rodrigo got sent to prison that she realized that both of them were not setting very good examples for their son. With Christopher being in elementary school, Juliana got a job as a teachers assistant and went back to college.

She managed to get her PhD in Chemistry and start her job working as a pharmaceutical scientist for a private company called Asclepius Pharmaceuticals where she created new compounds and medicines to help treat diseases. One of those diseases happened to be one that Juliana’s brother suffered from and many other people around the world suffered from. While technology had taken off and treatment of autoimmune diseases such as HIV and AIDS was so far progressed that it was barely a problem, the disease of addiction was still rampant with stigma, leaving very little progress on the medical sides of things. Juliana had seen her brother fight for his sobriety time after time and was determined to find a cure. In 2156, Juliana found a cure for addiction with a simple injection that needed to be administered once a year. Her employers were ecstatic but knew it needed to go through years of trials before it could be released to the public. Juliana was too excitable to wait for her cure to go through trials before she helped her loved one and decided to administer her brother the injection. Within days, he no longer craved drugs or alcohol of any kind and did not experience any withdrawals. Unfortunately, the world went up in flames the next year along with Juliana’s cure to addiction.

New York City was one of the many cities along the coast that faced flooding. When debris fell from the sky and struck the Chrysler building, everyone assumed it was a terrorist attack. The whole city never forgot the terror that their ancestors faced with the attack on the World Trade Center. Juliana who had just arrived at work, frantically tried to get ahold of Christopher as the city shook with impact and parts of buildings dropped from the sky. As soon as the power went out, Juliana knew she was going to have a hard time finding any of her loved ones. She ran out onto the streets and tried to make her way to her son’s apartment but was confronted by water up to her hips. Juliana along with many others were swept away by the current only stopping when being slammed up against a heavy object. After ten minutes of weaning in and out of consciousness, getting thrown around the currents, Juliana was pulled from the water by a Good Samaritan. She had nine broken ribs and shattered her wrist. Juliana didn’t completely come to until about a week later when she woke up in some kind of temporary infirmary. She later learned she was at some kind of mass emergency shelter at the Yankee Stadium. When she awoke, she had a hard time moving and breathing but was able to ask about her son and her brother. Somehow, someway, they were alive and safe.

The three of them stayed together, living at the temporary shelter at the Yankee Stadium. In the beginning, rescue teams would find four to six survivors a day but as the weeks went on that number significantly decreased. There was no more government, only those who were fit for leadership. After about six months of living in the Stadium and an entire month of no successful rescues, Leadership decided it was time to move to a more stable shelter. Everyone was informed that they would be moved to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology where everyone would get a proper bed instead of a cot. Juliana was very optimistic about the move since Christopher was beginning to suffer from migraines which she assumed was from lack of sleep.

Juliana Today

When they first arrived at the colony, everything was great. However, Christopher’s migraines only progressed and her brother started to suffer extreme withdrawals from her injections. Juliana offered to help the colony create pain medication for those who were suffering, as long as they provided her with the supplies. The colony was happy to oblige and Juliana began to work for them, helping people with all illnesses including her son and her brother. Juliana’s brother suddenly died within weeks of showing withdrawal symptoms. She became riddled with guilt and threw herself into her work. Juliana was terrified her son’s fate would be the same but then all of a sudden he was fine. No more migraines, no more shaky skin. He was back to the same 17 year old boy he was before the headaches started. One day Christopher was training with some guys, when one of them accidentally hit him too hard. Christopher had always been a bit of a hot head but what happened next  was unexplainable. The boy felt rage rise within him and then suddenly the metal structure in the training grounds became undone and pierced the boy who had hit him right through the chest. Juliana was pulled out of work and questioned by the leaders of the colony. No one had ever seen that happen before. There had been rumors of people developing particular abilities but nothing anyone actually believed, at least until then. Christopher was subjected to weeks of all kinds of testing and Juliana wasn’t allowed to visit him, as they believed him to be deadly. She only got to see him through a one sided window in which she observed the effects of her treatments. She worked tirelessly to try to find a cure or a treatment, anything to subside his abilities, but she found nothing. Juliana knew they were never going to stop testing him, he had become their lab rat and she had become a weapon. So she faked his death to release him into the wasteland, where he would at least have a chance at life.

Over the next few years she worked with the leaders of what formed into the first official colony and the NWRF. She became close to them and did their doings because she knew one day she would use it against them. When the NWRF asked her if she would like to go to Colony 22 to be a lab researcher and be someone they could trust during their overthrow, she agreed, insisting that the move could be good for her and her grief. Of course, she was hesitant on the fact that she would have to move away from her son in the wastelands. They had no contact since before that day but she had always hoped he would find his way back to her. Ultimately, Juliana knew the only safe way she would ever get to see her son again was if she took down the NWRF and freed the infected from their oppression.

Juliana has now been at Colony 22 for over a year. She is the star example of an uninfected reformist lab researcher who they take very much pride in, all while she is secretly working to overthrow them. Juliana is still riddled with guilt and anger and oftentimes finds it consuming her from the inside-out. Some days she finds even the smallest things intolerable, but others she finds herself frolicking in the lie that she has built. The woman is in a constant moral tug-of-war that she is quickly growing tired of. She is just hoping something comes to a head soon in the rebellion and will do anything to push that along.

If Juliana is not working or training or sleeping, you can usually find her in the chapel silently praying for her son’s safety in the wastelands or in the pub with a glass of red wine after working all day. Although Juliana appears to the public to be a disciplined and polite woman, behind close doors Juliana has a fire within her that only few get to see.

CLOSED

[televinita]

Zoo 3.11, “Cradles and Graves”

Maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me

I don't know if I'm more upset that this show had the gall to unironically use (a cover of)“Wonderwall” for dramatic effect, or that after 3 days of my inability to stop watching this episode, it's actually working for me.

I distinctly remember bursting out laughing when the first lyrics hit my ears, and now I'm like, teary eyed and nodding sagely through that whole montage. "Wow. So deep. So profound and meaningful."

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A list of things I did not care for this week: the IADG bullpen unless Tessa was talking. Now that we've got that out of the way... Some things I like about the first 5 minutes -Imagining the Darkest Timeline version where they are all already dead by the time Clem finds them. -The (unintentional?) hilarity of the fact that Jackson's blood waits for the exactly perfect moment to ooze under the door for maximum dramatic effect -The fact that Mitch is found on the stairs instead of where he was shot, which suggests to me that he got to feel the full horror of seeing both Max and Jamie on the ground before he succumbed to his own wound (which is probably just an irresponsible directing choice because if he had, I'd think he'd be a little more grateful about the whole them-not-being-dead part, but it's fun to think about! Otherwise I just get bogged down again in wondering about the logistics of GSW injuries.) Ctrl + Z I loved it, but my parents and I could not stop laughing during the entire resurrection scene. "So I guess everybody's actively dying and no one can help us, but it's cool. Just gimme some of that tank serum (totally valid medical term) and mix it with water (just your basic home remedy recipe), and then we'll suffocate them back to life and five minutes later their mortal wounds will be fine and we can get on with the real problems." A.K.A. So there's example 57 or so of an entire episode's worth of possible plot being pushed aside because this show refuses to take a breath. We could have wrung so much more emotion out of Clementine, whilst ignoring her own signs of labor, trying to triage her father, grandfather, adoptive mother, surrogate uncle I'm pretending she is already attached to more than I'm sure she is, and other surrogate uncle who is also her best chance of saving her baby, the most important of all, if something goes wrong in delivery. ...and GDI now I gotta go find a special episode of Grey's Anatomy to get my mass tragedy fix. But I'm grateful that even at Zoo speed, they still gave me a little taste (in two flavors!) of people suffering the after-effects of injuries the serum couldn't fully fix. You're Responsible, You're the One to Blame, It's Your Fault :( to everyone being too busy hating her to notice Jamie cradling a clearly injured arm. But I love absolutely every sentence in this 7-way argument, including but not limited to Mitch's strangled "are you full term? how long was I out?!", the group-wide reveal of when exactly Mr. Duncan disappeared, Jackson's deadly-quiet anger, Jamie's valid defense of her actions, Mitch trying to take his daughter and blow this popsicle stand at a doubled-over limp, Clem taking her sweet time mentioning the quarantine, Max and Jamie's "oh" realizations about the plane, and Mitch's fabulously cranky echo and "what now" attitude. Last but far from least, the disgusted "I can't even look at you" was kind of my favorite part? I dig it when one member of an OTP is that intensely furious at the other out of hurt. (see also: Castle at the end of season 4)

A+ Comic Relief Laughing for 1 million years at Clem hopping off the exam table pantsless while all the men in the vicinity double take and look away* (except for Sam, whom Mitch hilariously whacks on the arm for his impudence, in my favorite sight gag since "Special Consultant") *the fact that Abe also does this, while understandably instinctive and appropriately respectful, is also kind of hilarious given where he just was 

Oh My Darling(s, Sam &) Clementine (who can't make a good shipmanteau to save their life) I don't have enough interest to do it myself, but it sure sounds like the story of how they met would make a pretty great YA novel plot. Anyone who doesn't actually want to spend the month trying to be a paid author need a NaNoWriMo prompt? Particularly someone who likes world-building, because this show leaves things wide open to fill in the details of U.S. society outside New York and the plane. Speaking of which! Did Clem happen to share with him the part of her backstory about being raised as an orphan basically the same way for the same reason? Because that seems like it would decently bond them. I like this parallel. Also update, I am getting a lot fonder of his face, mostly because he shut up and stayed out of the way except when I needed him to chime in to be sweet and supportive of Clementine (or side with her dad about ranking her over the baby on the priority list). He seems like he's really tried/is trying to be a good partner, and I'm impressed that he holds his ground despite a faceful of largely unwarranted hostility from her. I might actually be okay with him being the head of his family, even though up until now my head has danced with visions of Clem raising her baby under Mitch (and Jamie)'s purview and/or roof, Last Man Standing style. (although I guess there's always Reba-style, where both young parents are under that roof) (I realize I'm making a lot of assumptions about everyone's ability to stay alive and/or live a semi-normal life)

Beta Ship 2.0 / My Wonderwall** There's something immensely funny to me about the juxtaposition of Jackson being in his Brooding Cave Of Isolated Despair while Tessa is in a brightly ilt location, in the middle of the hustle and bustle and basically being like, "Buck up and stop being so melodramatic." (Jackson: The prophecies have spoken. Food turns to dust in my mouth. A great wave shall fall upon us all. // Tessa: is your plane out of groceries again?) But on a serious note, I love so much that he's thisclose to broken until she pulls him out of it that I'm not even gonna whine about him asking Tessa to do the same thing he's punishing Jamie for. Though in his defense, he did say "stop" her and not "kill her,” which is an important distinction for him. **My friend once wrote a Jim/Pam (The Office) parody of Jim/Pam stories using this title, and that is at least 50% of why I can't take this song seriously even though I actually have always loved it. 

I Don't Know What To Do My Whole Brain is Celebrating "How do you know the name of Jamie's scorpion?" "Because my son and Jamie have, uh, very lively pillow talk."** !!!!!!!!!! NO BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

The fact that Abe pipes up despite a sucking chest wound just so he can help take the mick out of Mitch is glorious. The cranky and ineffectual "shut up" in response is THE BEST. I love that Mitch has just always blatantly refused to publicly acknowledge how he feels about Jamie, despite the fact that everyone and their mother is like,  "Oh yeah, I know Mitch. Snarky scientist, walks around with hearts in his eyes to match the one on his sleeve?" (Mitch, in the distance: I do not LOVE her, okay, I just...miss her when she's not around, think about her all the time, and I imagine us one day running towards each other in slow motion and I'm wearing a brown suede vest.) I doubly appreciate this exchange because I was wondering when the hell these people actually sleep and I was getting worried there was no recognizable place in canon that they might have both had a chance to go to bed at the same time. **This writer could not have more clearly been flagging us with a fic prompt. Max Morgan, Love Doctor My very favorite of the small moments in this ep is Max insisting that Mitch let him patch him up. I was all on board for some serious injury, but I loved the subversion of his attention being caught by the scars I thought the show had forgotten about instead. "Oh, Mitch."

That just kills me. I want to unpack their relationship right here so much more, but also, it's 7pm on the night of new Zoo. Suffice to say Mitch isn't the only parent who suffers over the thought of his kid being in pain tonight, and that's beautiful. And gosh do I love him quietly, individually, nudging Mitch and Jamie back towards each other. The promise that Mitch will understand eventually was an immediate balm upon my soul. If Max says a thing about my ship, it must be true! Mitch + Being A Mess of Emotions About His Daughter (if anyone wanted to make a gifset off of this theme I would not be opposed) Words cannot express how thrilled I am that Mitch gives zero bothers about Sam's baby daddy rights and takes up prime positioning to stroke Clementine's hair nonstop throughout the whole labor,* even stealing the requisite final "you can do this" encouragement. He also gets to be the first one to hold the baby and it's amazing.

* and makes some pretty wonderful faces over how hard it is to see her in pain and not be able to do anything about it -- and remind me I've got either some meta or a story scrap about how this is what Audra was on the front lines for all those years he selfishly hid away, telling himself it was for the best P.S. As much as I love that Mitch just falls apart in full Worried Dad mode and can't seem to process a single medical term or physical symptom as it pertains to pregnancy, you know that if Abe weren't a sex doctor and the writers weren't butts, Mitch would absolutely be whipping out the stethoscopes and telling us all about the time he delivered a baby gorilla so this is basically the same thing -- I imagine Clem would take loud offense here -- while roping in Jamie as a delivery nurse to follow his instructions to the letter (because there are some things fathers just should not do no matter how brilliant they are). Things I would like to know Why Mitch -- who apparently had a through and through -- is the only one whose gunshot wound is still bothering him Why Clementine didn't once ask where Jamie was. (at which point I'd really like to see Mitch try and explain that one.)

It is straight up ridiculous to me that 19-year-old girl in labor, surrounded by men, would not want a woman with her, particularly one she loves. This is the most "what...man...[wrote] this" moment I have ever had about TV.

Did I just miss it, or is it kinda weird that Sam doesn't bat an eye upon finding out Charles Duncan is actually a different person and his girlfriend's father? 

Leftover Thoughts

This show is so nuts, I am just now realizing I didn't even stop to wonder how the hell Abigail reanimated herself last week before now.

Mitch being a testy bitch @ Abe is a thing that just does not get old. ("You put hybrid goo in my daughter? Was that not worth a little chat?")

Aww @ Mitch's mini pep-talk about being a good parent, followed by the "OK time to go" and the sweet "I'm having this baby?" / "You are having this baby."

I also really enjoy Mitch deciding to be cranky about Sam just because he's there and he can. It's kinda like sniping at Logan, but more fun and with way better reasons. (Which I hope is exactly what Mitch says when Clementine inevitably tells him to knock it off)

"Goodbye frequent flyer miles" lmao

I love that instead of shutting down the beacon by cutting the wire, they multiplied its effect by a thousand and destroyed a city, to which the response is basically, "Whoops."

"You've been good for my son. Take care of him for me." So I LOVE THIS, but also: dammit Max that is not what "die for our ship" means.

But I love the moment where Jamie and Max, individually, hear the baby crying. The joy dawning on their faces is so pure it actually makes it worthwhile that they're not present at the birth itself.

(I know we're especially mad about Jamie. But honestly, if it means All Mitch All The Time, that's an OK trade to me.)

tl;dr if something is not mentioned please assume I loved it

COMING SOON:

(will be links shortly) Mini essays analyzing Jamie V. Jackson, Mitch/Jamie and Max's death.

In conclusion: I spent my entire night writing this, but it was worth it. Future Me is gonna love looking back.