#Todays smile | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bobmccullochny · 1 year

Photo

#Todays Smile

220 notes · View notes

giantkillerjack · 1 year

Text

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

17K notes · View notes

hinamie · 3 months

Text

7/3: pov u r nanami kento pleased that i managed to pull smth together in time for your bday

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #nanami kento #nanami #fanart #jjk fanart #i ws like I Need To Get This Done Today I Should Not Fully Render It #and then i said bet and did anyway #with 2 hours to spare !!!!!!#thats what we in this house call Winning #hbd nanami please forgive me fr spending most of it drawing gojo.......im so sorry i didnt know ill be better ill do better...#tiny smiling nanami u mean so much to me....#i did smth a little bit different with the shape of his nose also and let me just say i am Down On One Knee #hate to simp over a blond man but

3K notes · View notes

canon-gabriel-quotes · 8 months

Text

Transcript:

LET'S SETTLE THI- Oh hang on. Hang on, Machine, um.

It's 8 PM I need to take my testosterone.

Sorry I'll just be a second. Uh wait here, alright?

Audio Source

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill if it was based #its like a power up for the fight #fight. yeah. fight.. and not uh. anything else........................ that it could possibly effect *i am shot before i can continue*#smiles.#anyway. hes about to lose half his blood supply. your dose is gonna be all fucked up #take care of yourself #edit:#the way todays dev stream made this Canon (trust me). as was foretold.#this being posted today was a complete coincidence #I scheduled this weeks posts a few days ago #IT WAS FORETOLD #I SAW IT

4K notes · View notes

lets-all-calm-down-a-bit · 2 months

Text

more boblox. someone came up to me and told me they were going to bleach their eyes after seeing this!

#...#it was in a pro server too #like damn bro you never seen yaoi before? let me take your hand. ill show you the way....#slash jay. kay why ess that was mean #oh yeah and im all glammed up rn cause my friend's roblox wedding is today. gotta get on my formal attire.#smiling friends #charpim #charlie dompler #pim pimling #smiling friends fanart #cloby’sshit

1K notes · View notes

questionthedompler · 1 month

Note

does charlie support the lesbian community?

i am the biggest supporter of the lesbian community man no joke those hard working women need all the support we guys or anyone can give them you know god bless lesbians god bless america i love both my country and lesbians

fr no cap

#smiling friends #charlie dompler #lesbian support #go out there and support your local lesbians today no joke dudes #art answers

860 notes · View notes

kimtaegis · 4 months

Text

JIN HUGS JIN HUGS! for @jinstronaut ♡

cr. namuspromised, dwellingsouls, 0613data

#btsgif #dailybts #btsedit #seokjin #bts #bangtan #usersky #usersan #userkelli #usermaggie #raplineuser #usersevn #tuserandi #userpat #userines #*sj #*bangtan #*comp #*gifs #em I have no idea in which timezone you are so I'm just gonna let this post at midnight my time asdgh #HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!!!! I hope you'll have theeee bestest of days today my love you deserve it like no one else #I mean you've literally gifted us 500+ jin sets over the past 18 months -#this seems like the smallest thank you in return #you asked if someone could send you jinnie hugs so here I am!!!#if I could I'd fly to korea grab that man under his gigantic shoulders and bring him directly to your doorstep for the biggest bday hug #but for now this little set will have to do!#it gave me so much happiness just look at all the smiles with those big hugs :( and ofc I had to start and end it with jinkook <33 #I love you lots emmeline thank you for being an amazing person all the time #you deserve so much appreciation and love and I hope you get showered with just that #not only today but all the time <3

1K notes · View notes

pien-art · 6 months

Text

So in love with this chalk drawing i saw at the train station 😭 I want to be this happy. creacher….

#every time i walked by it this week i just smiled sm #i love it #i hope it survives today’s rain #art

2K notes · View notes

scuderiamint · 21 days

Text

max being tagged on last weekends ferrari post vs charles being tagged on this weekends red bull post ✨️

#max verstappen #charles leclerc #lestappen #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #italian gp 2024 #monza gp 2024 #dutch gp 2024 #that pic from today is so cute aswell cuz you can see charles smiley eyes peaking out of the helmet #that man was smiling from ear to ear in his helmet #plus the fact that charles didnt even get to take off his helmet before max beelined to congratulate him and hold his hand is so cutee

1K notes · View notes

leqclerc · 18 days

Text

Charles + "Sebastian" in Grill the Grid 2024: Name Two Drivers Challenge!

#formula 1 #f1 #f1edit #charles leclerc #charlesleclercedit #sebastian vettel #dare i say #sebchal #he's insane for 'myself and sebastian'.......... the tone? the expression? the subtle smile and the shift in his eyes? soo normal abt them #lowkey the last one is also insane bc he did not need to seductively murmur his name like that...mmm ok!! many thoughts!! filing this away #charles knowing seb's stats is v important to me actually...smth smth if i am the driver i am today it's also thanks to seb #i need them back it's simply not funny anymore *bangs pots and pans*#grill the grid #grill the grid 2024 #*mine: gif #*

668 notes · View notes

vellichorom · 6 months

Text

you know what it's time to spookypost;

HERE'S things i drew a YEAR & some change ago, these little solid caricature tributes that PERHAPS i'll someday polish up & make as charms???? who KNOWS

for now though !!!!! take them, i still like these a lot