#Toddler Eliott

[dating-sim-imagines]

Eldarya

[🜲] Ezarel with kids

"Why do I have to take care of IT?!" Ezarel whispered to me angrily because I asked him to watch Eliott, a baby kappa that came to visit. "Because you owe me! You literally BROKE INTO MY ROOM TO LOOK FOR HONEY CAKES" I whispered just as angrily as the small child was playing with Taenmil, a couple weeks ago I noticed my honey cakes have been mysteriously disappearing, so I hid them in my room and went out to find Ezarel rummaging through my things in searching for those damn honey cakes. "If you don't do this simple fucking favor for me I will tell Miiko what you did 3 weeks ago." The elf gasped, "Don't you fucking dare."

"What does fucking mean?" The child asked. The room stayed silent and I left looking back at Ezarel with a grin, he got PISSED that I HAD to leave him with the child expecting an answer. "It's a bad word. You say it, you die."

"EZAREL" I yelled from the outside of the room they were in, the elf sighed as he looked at the scared toddler. "I lied, you won't die but just don't say it, only adults can."

Eliott: Am I not grown enough?

Ezarel: No

Eliott: Why can only adults say it?

Ezarel: Because it's a bad word.

Eliott: Why is it a bad word?

Ezarel: ....

Ezarel was dying inside, he couldn't say he hated kids but he does say he hates the stupid ones, which a lot of people scold him for constantly. He was internally suffering seeing his attempts to 'shut the kid up' were failing, he tried food, half-assed games, letting Eliott play with some companions but the innocent child kept driving him crazy with questions.

Eliott: Hey, Cereal?

Ezarel: My name is Ezarel.

Eliott: Where do babies come from?

Ezarel: Hell

[ratsoh-writes]

Nah, I think we are good... is... Rosemary near?

She asked lowering her voice

Peaches smirks happily

Peaches: she and hazel are having a spa day~ they took Iris too for a ladies night.

Apparently baby eliott was already put down to sleep and peaches was about to get Harold ready for bed too when you guys arrived. So he excuses himself for a few minutes to get the toddler situated

[bubbles-the-banshee]

Happy STS!

“Your story gets told from someone else's perspective. Whose is it?“

Thank you @toribookworm22 for another awesome ask!

Goddess Dead is actually told from multiple, first-person perspectives (current secondary-narrators include Acon, Lea, and Octavius); however Eliott, the protagonist, is the primary narrator, and chapters from other characters’ perspectives are usually shorter and listed as .5 chapters. Moreover, as the story is “written” by Eliott, it’s been my idea that these different perspectives are just Eliott playing pretend. 

However, it’s been really interesting to imagine how the book would change if either Acon, Lea, or Octavius was the primary narrator. 

Goddess Dead from Acon’s perspective would be angry, lonely, and isolated where Eliott’s is hopeful. The core of Acon’s story, his self, is that he is a foil to Eliott. He is Eliott, if their life before the book had played out differently—if they had made different choices and drawn different cards. Under the right circumstances, Eliott could have been Acon, and Acon could have been Eliott. What separates them is, more often than not, the luck of the draw (though neither are particularly lucky). They are, in drive and passion, so similar it’s painful. It is their ideals, the lessons they’ve learned, the friends they’ve made, and how they carry their pasts into their present that differ. Overall, the story and its messages wouldn’t change so much as the tone. Imagine, if you will, a painting of a tulip—one sitting under a sunbeam, and one painted under the light of the moon. 

I’m not sure how Goddess Dead told from Lea’s perspective would work, because—in a weird way—Lea and I are too similar for me to be completely comfortable writing in her shoes. (I’m not sure how this makes sense, but it does.) She’s very caring, controlled, and not so much grounded as level-headed—practical. She wouldn’t want to tell the story like Acon or Eliott. I think, with her as the narrator, the story would turn into a collection of letters or diary entries peppered with memories of her friends and loved ones. I imagine that the narrative would switch from primarily present-tense to past-tense. 

If the story was told from Octavius’ perspective, it would be very abstract. He would tell Eliott’s story, but the details would be more fluid—more vague and sensory. As a living mote of magick, Octavius experiences the world differently than Eliott, Acon, and Lea. He isn’t a collection of thoughts; he’s a conversation between people. He is feelings not lessons. There would probably be a lot less dialogue; I’m almost imagining “Ping” by Samuel Beckett levels of “What the fuck is going on?” Octavius is just a lil’ guy who understands the cruelties and injustices of the world, the struggles that Eliott faces, but he’s not nearly as jaded; he describes the world around and within him with the same wonder and cadence of a toddler. Goddess Dead would probably be a lot more fun and have more illustrations, if Octavius wrote it.

[pancakesplayssims]

Bob loves being a father he loves seeing his babies happy and smiling.

[morganofthewildfire]

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Same Time Thursday - epilogue

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masterlist

this is absolutely unreal that I'm posting this, that I'm finally done with this story, I'm currently crying by the way

thank you thank you thank you to everyone who's supported me along the way, this story definitely changed me, and I'll never be able to let it go 😭

-----------------------------------------------------

3 ½ Years Later

The University of Doranelle’s graduation ceremony was completely packed. There was barely any room to breathe, let alone move, and Aelin found herself fighting her way through crowds of people to get to the only people that mattered. 

A smile was seemingly glued to her face, so permanent it wasn’t going to ever come off. But she didn’t try to get rid of it as she lifted up the edge of her gown to avoid tripping on it, traipsing through the crowd as she hunted for her family.

It didn’t take long, and soon enough she was making a beeline for the trio. Rowan’s silver hair stuck out, and the blonde girl sitting on top of his shoulders made them even more visible above the rest of the crowd. And as soon as she laid eyes on the redheaded girl holding Rowan’s hand, she knew she was right.

The auditorium was noisy and echoey, but she barely heard it as she grinned widely at them, the only sound piercing her ears was the chorus of “mama!” from both of her daughters.

Rowan was grinning back at her, and shifted to take Eliott off his shoulders just as Aelin reached them, jumping at him for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, spinning her around once before setting her down and kissing her deeply. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he said, his voice warm, and she sniffed back a rebellious tear, beaming at him. 

“I love you,” she murmured, and he said it back, kissing her slowly. 

“Gross!” Her younger daughter exclaimed, and Aelin laughed as she pulled back, crouching down by Eliott. 

“That’s gross huh?” She teased, but before the toddler could respond, she leaned in and pressed a bunch of kisses to her face, making Eliott giggle and try to pull away.

“No mama!” She complained. “No!” Aelin finally ceased, pressing one final smacking kiss to her head before turning to Elia and kissing her forehead too.

“Did you girls see me up there?” She asked with a smile, and she got a chorus of excited yesses! back. “I am now officially a college graduate!”

Neither of them knew what that meant, but she got adequate excitement, making her laugh. Rowan knew what she meant though, smiling down at her proudly. Aelin blew a kiss up at him, laughing again as he pretended to snatch it out of the air and tuck it in his pocket.

“Come on, divas,” he said teasingly, “let’s go. We have a lot still left to do today, right?” 

Aelin raised a brow at him, standing up straight. She didn’t know what their plans were, but it seems their daughters did. Eliott bounced up and down, always full of energy, and Elia just smiled sweetly, but somehow knowingly. 

“We do?” Aelin asked, accusingly, and her boyfriend infuriatingly just winked. That’s right, her boyfriend. They’d been together for about four years at that point, and had two kids, but he still hadn’t proposed. Aelin understood, they’d talked about it and decided to wait until she at least graduated. 

They weren’t in any rush, they were still young, they didn’t need a wedding to prove their love, they were already committed blah blah blah. All of those reasons were valid, but with every passing day, Aelin just really wanted to say she was his wife. And that he was her husband. 

“Alright,” she sighed when none of them gave her answers. But she couldn’t hide her grin. “Let’s go see what you have planned for me today.”

-----

Aelin ditched her cap and gown soon after getting to the car, leaving her in her fancy dress instead. It was customary to wear white to graduation, so she was donned in her best one, which she’d found while out shopping with Elia and Eliott. Her two daughters.

Elia was almost five now, and Eliott was two. She couldn’t believe how quickly Elia had grown. It seemed like yesterday that she was in the hospital, overwhelmed with pain but also overwhelmed with the pure joy of holding her daughter for the first time.

Eliott’s birth had been slightly easier, though not easy. She’d been right on schedule, with no real hiccups, just debilitating pain again. Aelin supposed she was cursed to bad pregnancies, but that didn’t change anything. She wanted a huge family, and so did Rowan, but she’d give it a little bit more time before popping out more kids.

She was only 24 after all, she had plenty of it.

For now, she was content, almost. 

“So are you trying to woo me with a fancy dinner?” Aelin pried, leaning over the center console to get closer to Rowan, who was driving. Her boyfriend smiled but didn't say anything, just shaking his head once. “Are you taking me to a sweets factory to fatten me up with chocolate?” 

Eliott giggled and Aelin turned around to wink at her daughters, catching their mischievous faces. 

“I can't believe you two know and won’t tell me,” she said mournfully. 

“It's a secret, mama,” Elia piped in, and Aelin smiled.

“Oh really?” She asked, before turning back to face the front of the car. “Well I hope I can be in on the secret too, soon.” 

She’d gotten her driver’s license two years ago, after Eliott was born, after Rowan had suggested it would maybe be useful for her to learn. He’d taught her, though she wasn’t the best student, and she’d successfully passed the test the second time she took it. But - she still liked having him drive her around places. 

And he didn’t seem to mind, so the arrangement worked.

“Soon,” the love of her life confirmed with a little smirk, and she playfully scowled, scrunching back in her seat. 

But, soon enough, they were pulling to a park in a spot on a side street alongside a quaint strip of stores, the old main street of Doranelle. There was the downtown, with the bigger office buildings and such, but this street right was really the heart of the city. 

Aelin loved it.

But she didn’t know what they were doing here.

“What -”

“Just be patient,” Rowan interrupted, coming around the side of the car to open her door for her, before going to the backseat and unclipping both of their daughters from their car seats, grabbing Eliott into his arms and letting Elia climb out of the car herself, her little dress fluttering as she hopped down.

She rolled his eyes but followed him as he gestured for her to keep walking, slipping her hand into Elia’s as she caught up with her. Aelin smiled down at her, swinging their arms back and forth as they headed forward, turning the corner to the main street. But she slowed to a stop at the sight in front of her.

Something that definitely hadn’t been there last time. 

“Rowan,” she breathed, tears pricking her eyes. She lifted a hand to her mouth to stifle her sob, squeezing Elia’s hand probably too tightly. But she didn’t seem to mind. 

Because right there, right in front of her, was a store she’d passed many times. It was an old abandoned book store, the door locked and the windows dusty. But what was new was the dark oak sign hanging above the door, with the gold embossed words:

The Kingsflame Corner Bookstore

“Oh, Rowan,” she breathed again, tracing her eyes over every inch of it. “Did you really?” She sniffed and turned to look at him, seeing him smiling softly back at her. 

“It’s your dream,” he said, “of course I did.” 

A wave of emotion rushed through her, and she pressed her hand to her chest, trying to keep it all contained. Her therapist told her it wasn’t always productive to keep everything locked away, but that was the bad emotions she was referring to. These emotions were all definitively good.

She’d started going to therapy shortly after Eliott’s birth, after everything was finally calming down. Maybe she shouldn’t have waited quite so long, but it didn’t make too much of a difference really. No matter how much time it’d been, it was all still there on the edges of her mind.

Which was why she was going to someone who could help, someone who she could talk through everything with. She had Rowan for that of course, but as much comfort as he brought her, he wasn’t a professional, and hearing advice from someone not as closely attached to her emotional well being was useful. 

Of course, her therapist wanted her to feel better, but - Rowan was in love with her, her therapist was not. 

It’d helped so far, in Aelin’s opinion, though she was already two years in. She didn’t suffer as many nightmares as she had those first few months after everything. And though she still had occasional attacks of anxiety and restlessness, she was better prepared to calm herself down. 

She was a mother to two beautiful daughters, she couldn’t raise them while falling apart. 

“Do you want to go in?” Rowan asked, that charming smile still on his face, and she nodded, laughing a bit incredulously as Elia pulled an old, gold coated key out of the pocket in her dress, handing it to her with a bashful, toothy smile.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Aelin said, taking it from her and walking up to the front door. She looked back at Rowan, smiling as he winked at her, before looking back to the door. With the fancy key, she unlocked the dusty door, hearing the creaking as she pushed it open. 

The store was exactly like it looked from the outside, old and dusty, with cobwebs stretching off of the old bookshelves. But it was perfect. 

“Rowan,” she breathed again, pressing a hand to her mouth. She could feel tears pricking at her eyes, threatening to ruin her carefully manicured mascara. 

“I know it’s kind of a disaster right now,” he said, stepping into the store behind her, their kids in tow. “But there’s a lot of good space. You can clean and set up all the shelves again, maybe a seating area over there, your desk right there.” He pointed at various places in the room, and she could tell from his rambling that he was nervous about what she would think.

She needed him to know that there was absolutely nothing for him to be nervous about. 

Aelin turned back to face him, trying to find the words to explain what she was feeling. But he was already looking at her, and seemed soothed by whatever he found in her expression, his nervous smile turning gentle and loving. Like he always was with her. 

“Can we go explore?” Eliott asked, tugging at Rowan’s suit jacket, and he nodded, setting her down. 

“Sure, firefly,” he said, “just be careful okay? Take your sister with you.” Eliott scurried over to Elia, who dutifully grabbed her hand. Aelin glanced up at him, and he winked. “You should go with them too,” he said.

“Oh I should, should I?” She asked, and he nodded, a smile creeping up the corner of his lips. 

“There’s a lot to find in here,” he added, “a lot to explore.” She narrowed her eyes at the strange words, but when Eliott pulled on the skirt of her dress, she had no choice but to go with her two girls, traveling deeper into the store.

“Hmm,” she said, exaggerating her tone as she talked to them. “How many books do you think are in here?” She asked, glancing around, lost in the shelves already. 

“A million!” Eliott babbled, grinning toothily up at her mom. Something Aelin had discovered very early on about her second daughter was how different she was from her first. While Elia was reserved and calm and as sweet as a button, Eliott was more energetic, and bounced around like a spinning top, loving to chat about everything and nothing all at once. 

Aelin didn’t prefer one way over the other, because both natures fit them perfectly, and she loved them both with all her heart. 

“That’s a lot of books!” she exclaimed dramatically, crouching down by the two girls. “Why don’t you girls both go pick a cool one, and bring it back to me. How does that sound? If it’s a good one, I’ll let you take it home!”

They both nodded, and she chuckled as Eliott pulled Elia down another aisle. That was one thing they both had in common: they loved reading. 

She had no idea where they got that from.

Once they were gone, safely and easily findable if she or Rowan thought they needed help, Aelin set to look for what the hell he was talking about. His words were too odd to be anything but a hint for something.

He did things like this occasionally, making little surprises for her. 

For her birthday last year, he’d made a scavenger hunt in their house, leading to a giant bouquet of flowers and tickets to the symphony that evening. For their last anniversary, he’d taken her on a walk through the giant park downtown, before leading her to a decadent picnic he’d set up for them right in the prettiest part, with a huge heart shaped block of chocolate.

So it wasn’t surprising for him to plan a surprise for her graduation. Though the bookstore was already plenty surprise enough.

Aelin stood up, glancing around the store. Maybe it was on one of the books? Maybe on a shelf itself?

She chewed on a lip as she meandered around, looking for some kind of sign. 

But she didn’t see anything that didn’t belong, and soon enough, her daughters were bouncing back over to her, books in hand.

So she gave up her search for the movement, taking them back out toward Rowan to see what books they’d picked out. 

Eliott, to no one’s surprise, picked out a book about mermaids she must’ve found in the old children’s literature section, and it looked essentially like a picture book you could find at the store down the street. But her daughter seemed excited about it, so Aelin laughed and kissed her forehead, sending her back over to Rowan to show.

Elia on the other hand, had picked out a slightly dustier book.

“What is this?” Aelin asked, kneeling down in front of the girl. She was five, but she was still pretty short and dainty, though the delicate look suited her. It was just a bit of a mystery where it came from. “What did you find, sweetheart?”

“Just look inside,” Elia told her, a small smile on her face, and a small glance over at Rowan, which had Aelin immediately suspicious. What had they planned?

But Aelin just followed the instruction, standing up with the book in hand. She glanced down at the cover, wiping away some dust to reveal a beautiful linen cover, no embellishments beyond the one word: Fireheart. 

Oh. 

Tears sprang to her eyes as she opened the cover, seeing a picture carefully stuck onto the page. It was the picture of her and Rowan, taken long ago, only months after they’d first met. The one of them curled up in her bed, Aelin tucked into his side. 

They both looked so young, and so happy, even with all they still had to face ahead of them. 

The next page was a picture he’d taken of her sitting on the couch with Elia tucked comfortably on her lap, both of them beaming. 

They hadn’t taken many pictures at the beginning of their relationship, but as she flipped through the pages, they became more and more frequent as they’d started to document everything more. Photos of Elia, photos of Aelin pregnant with Eliott, photos of Rowan holding Elia, and taking care of Eliott once she was born, cuddling the newborn on his chest. 

It was their life, documented in pictures, and it quickly had her sobbing as she looked at them, relishing how happy she looked, how content. She’d gone so long feeling so hopeless, wanting to die even, thinking her life was never going to go anywhere but downhill. 

But Rowan had brought her out of the darkness, and Elia and Eliott had only launched her further into the light, and she didn’t know what she’d do without any of them. 

Her life was nothing short of perfect. And this photo album was tangible proof of that. 

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she flipped through it, through her brows furrowed when she got to the end of the pictures, finding a loose white card instead. 

She picked it up, turned it over, and immediately gasped. 

Because right there, in gold cursive lettering on the front, were the words:

You are cordially invited to the wedding of Aelin Ashryver Galathynius and Rowan Whitethorn, to be happening as soon as possible please. 

“Fireheart?” A familiar voice behind her said, and she turned slowly, her heart beating fast. And promptly dropped the photo album straight on the ground. Because… Rowan was kneeling down on one knee right in front of her, a small velvet box in his hands.

“Rowan,” she breathed, the tears continuing to stream down her face. 

“Aelin Galathynius,” he started, already choked up himself. “I don’t even know how to properly put into words how much you mean to me, but I’m going to try, okay? So don’t laugh at me, please.” She couldn’t help it, she did laugh at the words, a wet laugh that he immediately reciprocated. 

His smile was absolutely radiant. 

“From the moment you came into my life,” he continued, “you’ve been a catalyst for everything good in it. From giving me two beautiful daughters, to helping me finish school and supporting me as I searched for what I want out of life, to just being yourself and showing me all of the good there is in the world.” She sniffed, trying to wipe away some tears, even if it was hopeless. “We haven’t had an easy journey,” he said, and she laughed again, shaking her head. “But every moment, whether joyous or painful, has brought us here, and for that I’ll forever be grateful.” 

Elia came up to her side, gently grabbing her hand, and Aelin squeezed it tightly, relishing in the feel of her small fingers in hers.

“You’re everything to me,” Rowan said, his deep green eyes shining. “I love you so, so much, Fireheart. I love waking up by your side every morning and falling asleep next to you every night. I love raising our daughters with you, and laughing with you, and living life with you. And I never want to live a day without you. So, Fireheart,” he said, opening the velvet box. “Will you marry me?”

She barely saw the ring, just saw a flash of emerald as she knelt down in front of him, tears nearly blinding her. 

“Yes,” she managed to force out, nodding emphatically. “Yes, I will marry you, Rowan. Gods, yes.” She laughed. “I love you so much.” He was beaming like he’d just won the lottery, taking her hand with one of his, and grabbing the ring with his other.

“To whatever end?” He asked, quietly.

“To whatever end,” she replied, and he slid the ring gently onto her finger. It fit perfectly, and it felt so right that she cried even more, collapsing into his arms as he wrapped them around her. 

They stayed like that until Eliott wormed her way in between them, making both of them laugh. And Rowan pulled back slightly, pulling Elia into the group hug. 

“I love you all so much,” he said, and she could feel the truth of those words flowing through every inch of her veins. 

They’d come a long way to get to this point, but Aelin knew they still had all the time in the world. 

-----

taglist:

@shyvioletcat 

@courtofjurdan 

@leiawritesstories 

@elentiyawhitethorn 

@westofmoon 

@mariamuses 

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@poisonous00

[nikatyler]

Eliott: "I'm just trying, okay? You should come here more often. Or how about you leave him here sometimes? I'd look after him."

Morrigan: "Yeah, sure you would, you big toddler."

Eliott: "That's accurate. Yeah, I'm sorry I made you feel like --"

Morrigan: "I don't care. This was a mistake. Fin, say goodbye."

[kissjane]

Okay. Somebody (*cough* @nachtumringt *cough*) presented me with a literal plot bunny made out of chocolate, so have this Easter short story for Fan Choice Friday!

[No bunnies were harmed during the making of this story.]

Past Lucas – that is, the Lucas from an hour ago – was an idiot. He had thought going out to study in the park on the first sunny spring Sunday was an awesome idea.

Present Lucas was rudely reminded of the fact that the first sunny spring Sunday also happened to be Easter Sunday.

Children were screaming and running around and at least one of them had knocked over Lucas’ water bottle, which thankfully had been closed securely, while another one had nearly trampled on Lucas’ study guide, which he had worked on for hours to get it exactly how he wanted.

The breaking point came when a grubby toddler with chocolate all over his hands and face stumbled over his own feet and landed on Lucas’ spread textbook, rendering it pretty much unreadable. On top of that, the child started crying louder than anything Lucas had ever heard, and its mom came running towards it, throwing Lucas a look of absolute disgust as she snatched it up.

That was it, Lucas decided. He snapped his ruined textbook close, carefully folded his study guide together, and drank the rest of his water before putting everything in his backpack.

And then, he casually walked over to the nearest Easter basket and grabbed the two biggest chocolate bunnies he saw, before sauntering back over to his picnic blanket and biting off the ears of bunny number one.

At least it was good chocolate. Or maybe it was just the illegitimacy of it that made it taste better. Whoever said that crime didn’t pay, should come eat this chocolate, Lucas thought.

Suddenly, he felt a weight drop down next to him, and irately he looked over, expecting to see some other grimy, sugar-high child.

Instead, there was a guy sitting next to Lucas, his hand outstretched, palm upwards, as if he wanted something from Lucas. Lucas frowned at him, nibbling on the legs of bunny number one.

“Better give me that second bunny,” the guy said.

“What? No, man, these are mine!”

“Are they, really?” An eyebrow rose on the guy’s face, and Lucas noted he had pretty eyes. Grey, but warm. “Or did you steal them from some poor innocent child?”

Drat. Lucas tried to shrug, play it cool, but the easy blush he had cursed all his life decided to ruin everything for him once again.

“I won’t snitch on you if you give me that bunny,” the guy said, cool as a cucumber.

Lucas scoffed. What a waste of pretty eyes on such a cold-blooded blackmailer. Making sure every ounce of disdain was visible on his face, he handed over bunny number two.

“You’re cruel,” he said, when the guy started breaking off pieces from bunny number two. “To separate these two.” He gestured to the remains of the bunnies. “Clearly, they would have preferred to stay together, even in death.”

The guy laughed. He threw his head in his neck – pretty collarbones, Lucas thought. When he looked back at Lucas, his grin was wide and open. Lucas forgot to eat bunny number one. Pretty mouth, and pretty hair, and pretty jaw and hands and teeth.

He’d never ever considered teeth pretty before.

A tiny sliver of bunny number two stuck to the guy’s lips, and he licked it off before speaking again. Lucas swallowed. Bunny number one started melting in his hand.

“I suppose you and I will have to stick close, then. For the bunnies’ sake. So they can stay together in the afterlife. What do you say? Coffee?”

Lucas grinned back. He lapped the molten bunny parts off his hand, and the guy’s eyes followed his motions. Lucas was gratified to see the pupils darkening just slightly. He dried his hand on his jeans and held it out to the guy.

“Sure. I’m Lucas.”

“Eliott,” He grabbed Lucas’ hand. “Let me finish eating Fifi here,” he said, stuffing the last chocolate in his mouth, not letting go of Lucas’ hand. “There. All set. Come on, then.”

He stood up, and Lucas took stock of long, pretty legs, and a very pretty ass.

All in all, Eliott looked to be a snack. Definitely tastier than bunny number one and bunny number two.

Past Lucas was a genius, clearly. And Future Lucas just might be the luckiest bastard in the world.

[moonb-eam]

june 25th

a ficlet for eliott’s birthday ☀️

Eliott is half-awake.

He’s in the sweetest liminal space between dream and reality, when the warm sheets tangled between his legs feel like the tendrils of clouds, the mattress beneath him a gently undulating sea. He’s coming out of a dream that has already passed into memory, too lazy to hold onto it, too content to do anything but let the comforting feeling of it seep into his heart.

A beam of light passes over his eye and his blinks, squinting at the bedroom window, where just beyond its glass waits another blooming morning in June.

He rolls onto his side, reaching for a warm body and when his fingers land on cool sheets he frowns, and rolls to the other side, reaching for his phone.

His screen is flooded with notifications and he blinks again, brow furrowing until he begins to read, then he grins. Laughs. In the midst of everything that had been going on - finishing his film, Lucas writing the bac - he had honestly forgotten that this day was coming. He hadn’t realized how close to the end of June they were.

The oldest text is from Idriss, sent at exactly midnight the night before. All it says is, birth.

Then there’s one from his mom, a happy birthday message buried in dozens of flower emojis.

One from his dad, with an attached photo of him as a toddler, sitting on his dad’s shoulders.

A text from Sofiane, with a video attached of two baby raccoons because, I know you’re obsessed with these.

There’s texts from every member of the grew, with varying amounts of exclamation points and emojis. There’s even an Instagram message from a girl in his class he’s spoken to a few times, and opening his Instagram app brings along another wave of notifications, old and new photos being shared across stories.

It’s an overwhelming amount of affection for Eliott, who sometimes feels like nothing more than a shadow at the fringes of the world itself, destined to be an outsider, as thin and fleeting as smoke. He slowly sits up, the sheets pooling at his waist, his eyes fixed to his phone. He scrolls through his mentions, snorting when he sees a particularly embarrassing photo from his first year of lycée that Sofiane shared, and smiling softly when he comes across a photo Alexia tagged him in, of himself and the girls piled onto a couch together.

He stares down at the outpouring of love from his friends and his family, the gentlest and simplest we’re so happy you’re here, and he feels beautifully solid, as real as the sun, warm and constant and alive.

He’s still smiling, misty-eyed, when the bedroom door opens, and someone clears their throat.

“Joyeux an-oh fucking shit, fuck.”

There’s a thud, and Eliott turns on the bed, eyes wide to see Lucas, wearing boxers and one of Eliott’s shirts, stumbling on a pair of sneakers by the door and balancing a plate on one hand. Eliott can’t quite see what’s on the plate, but there’s no mistaking the single lit candle sticking out from its surface.

Lucas smacks his elbow off of the doorframe and he swears again, the plate teetering dangerously close towards the floor. Eliott watches the entire thing with his mouth open, his hands reaching out as though he could somehow make it to Lucas in time from the other side of the room.

But Lucas manages to right himself, the plate finding balance between his hands, and Eliott can’t help but let out a laugh from the look of palpable relief on his face.

Lucas scowls at him. “Shut up,” he whispers, his cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. Eliott smothers another laugh into his hand. He wants to kiss him there, the soft curves where colour starts and ends.

Lucas clears his throat again, with great gavitas, and rolls his shoulders back.

“Joyeux anniversaire,” he starts to sing, voice low and soft, taking a careful step forward, his eyes rapidly moving between where his feet are going next and the plate, which Eliott can now see is holding a small, round cake.

“Joyeux anniversaire,” Lucas continues, kicking a sock out of the way with one foot. Eliott couldn’t stop smiling if he tried.

“Joyeux anniversaire, mon amour.” Lucas glances up at him then, grinning widely, eyes bright and curved at the corners, and Eliott’s heart dances under his ribs. “Joyeux anniversaire,” Lucas finishes, drawing out the last word with a flourish, and Eliott giggles, pressing his hands to his cheeks.

Lucas lowers the plate towards him. “Make a wish, baby,” he says softly, and Eliott closes his eyes, thinks, just like this, always, and he blows out the candle.

The cake is covered in a thick, neat layer of cream-coloured icing, but what makes Eliott gasp in delight are the large, lopsided sunflowers that have been piped onto the surface.

“How did you do this?” Eliott asks, already reaching for his phone so he can take a picture of the cake to show it off on Instagram.

Lucas huffs, tilting his nose up imperiously. “I’m very talented, you know.”

Eliott takes three different pictures of the cake, and wraps an arm around Lucas’ neck so he can pull him close, kiss the pink points of his cheeks. “I know you are,” he murmurs, and then he kisses Lucas’ lips, humming when he tastes something sugary sweet. “What did you-?”

“Had to make sure the icing was good.”

“Of course.”

“That’s what the professionals do.”

“Absolutely.”

They both smile into another kiss, Lucas’ head tilting back when Eliott leans forward to deepen it, laughing when Eliott groans, licking into his mouth.

“Eliott, your cake.”

“Mhm, but you’re so much sweeter.”

Lucas pushes his face away with a flat palm, ignoring it when Eliott pouts. “Come on.” He pulls two forks seemingly out of nowhere, offering one to Eliott with a raised eyebrow. “What other day of the year is it acceptable to have cake for breakfast?”

It’s a good point.

The cake is delicious, sweet and light and most delightfully, coloured bright yellow on the inside. Lucas disappears to the kitchen and returns with two coffee cups, setting them down on the bedside table and grinning when he sees Eliott take another big bite.

“This is amazing,” Eliott says with a dreamy sigh. He smacks a kiss to Lucas’ cheek and leaves behind a smear of icing. “You’re amazing. When did you find the time to make this?”

“I got up early,” Lucas says, as though it’s the simplest thing in the world.

But it isn’t. It really, really isn’t.

“I can’t believe you did this for me.” Eliott swipes his finger through the corner of a sunflower, yellow and brown catching on his knuckle.

He glances up, and Lucas is already staring at him, his face melting into something quiet and soft that makes Eliott smile. He shifts closer on the mattress, planting a hand on Eliott’s thigh and leaning into him, nudging their foreheads together.

“You deserve it.” He says, and Eliott’s smile falls, slightly, a sudden thickness in his throat. Lucas gently kisses the highest point of his cheekbone. “Happy birthday, sunshine.” Another kiss to the shell of his ear. “I love you.”

Eliott buries his face in the space between Lucas’ neck and shoulder and he stays there, breathing him in, feeling their hearts beat together. He tries to collect every detail he can about the moment, every sound, every sensation, and he captures them, folding them greedily into his chest. He wants to always be able to remember this exact moment with perfect clarity: when he sat on his bed with the love of his life, ate birthday cake, and felt as loved as sunlight.

“Thank you,” he whispers into Lucas’ neck, and it falls short to convey even half of what he’s feeling. “I love you so much,” he tries, and that feels better.

The cake is clumsily deposited on the floor, forks clattering against porcelain, crumbs getting lost in the sheets, and Lucas turns back towards Eliott with a grin, wrapping his arms around his neck and sliding into his lap.

“So,” he begins, and Eliott guides him, holding onto Lucas’ thighs and smoothing his thumbs over his skin, fingertips catching on the edge of his boxers, “birthday boy.” He says it with a touch of suggestion that makes Eliott laugh, his hands tightening their hold on his hips. “What would you like to do today?” He frees one hand to poke Eliott on the nose. “We’re still having dinner with your parents tonight, but from now until then,” he leans back on Eliott’s lap, spreading his arms wide, the light catching on the joint of his elbow, the curve of his shoulder peeking out from where Eliott’s shirt gapes open, “the day is entirely yours.”

Eliott hums, tilting his head to the side.

“We could go to the botanical gardens,” Lucas suggests. He wobbles on Eliott’s lap and giggles, gripping onto his shoulders to right himself. “We could…” He taps his fingers against Eliott’s collarbones. “We could walk to the park and bring the rest of the cake with us. We could go bookstore-hopping.” Eliott grins at that, remembering when he mentioned it to Lucas weeks ago as something he always wanted to spend an entire day doing, but never had the time. “We could go to the cinema for a double feature. We could go exploring at La Petite Ceinture. We could look through the old maps at the library. We could get sushi. We could go to the river and watch the boats go by.”

Possibilities and possibilities. All things that are normal, even mundane, but wondrous in the simple realization that somehow, this entire time, Lucas has been collecting a list of Eliott’s favourite things to do. And now, he wants to do all of them. Together.

“Yes,” Eliott says, and Lucas laughs, his nose scrunching up.

“Yes to what? I said like, six things.”

“Yes to all of it.” Eliott slides his hands around Lucas’ lower back, tugging him up on his lap. “I want to do everything with you.” He aches up so he can kiss the hollow of Lucas’ throat.

“Okay,” he says softly, gasping when Eliott kisses his collarbone, nosing into the skin. “Well, then we better get started.”

“Later.” Eliott says. “We’ll go later. Right now, I just want to-” He falls back into the mattress, Lucas following him down with a huff when they land. “I want to stay here,” Eliott says, quietly, like it’s a secret. An entire world to see, and Eliott wants to live in the space between Lucas’ arms. “Just for a little bit.”

Lucas smiles, smoothing his hair off of his forehead. “Whatever you want, sunshine.”

Eliott grins, then rolls them, delighting in the sharp, echoing laugh Lucas lets out at the sudden motion.

“This,” he says, and Lucas blinks up at him, deep oceans that Eliott sinks into, pressing him into the mattress, pressing their lips together.

This. Just like this, always.

[ayellowcurtain]

Could we get some ABO Elu as well?

maybe an ABO fic where Lucas is a single parent with a young kid and Eliott somehow finds a place in their family?

This, not a single part of this, was the life Lucas had planned for himself.

“Margot, can you please, just stay by my side?” He begs and sighs when the five-year-old looks up at him and quietly comes closer, holding the side of the trolley, clearly not happy about it, but at least she listens.

This was supposed to be a quick run to the grocery store, but that’s hard with two kids.

Lucas never wanted to be a dad, not even from his own children, but then the world thought he was having too much fun during his young life and threw two half-siblings at him out of nowhere. Lucas wishes he could have said no, explaining that he couldn’t even take care of himself, but he had no choice. His mom was an alpha and she used that to get Lucas to keep her children and she was gone the next day, no news of when she was coming back ever since.

“Luca?” Margot’s small and annoying voice makes him stop feeling sorry for himself, the real life is calling for his attention yet again, meters away, holding a glass bottle of ketchup with tiny hands that can’t even properly hold it.

“Margot!” Lucas tries to drag the trolley closer to an isle, Noah’s blue eyes get so big with the sudden movement, grabbing the handles from the inside and Lucas is rushing to take the glass away from his sister when he runs into someone.

His strong scent hits Lucas instantly, even before actually looking at him, taking it all in.

The alpha is a lot taller, wild overgrown brown hair, black clothes that fit him a little too well, big, pale hands holding the ketchup bottle with one and his little sister with the other, picking her up and taking her to Lucas. He smiles honestly at Margot, with his eyes turning to half moons as he talks to Margot.

“Fuck, thank you.” He sighs as he grabs his sister back, feeling how warm the alpha’s hand is, accidentally brushing against his.

“You said fuck!” Lucas closes his eyes, needing just a minute by himself, with no children’s voice screaming at him for cursing.

“It was an accident, Margot, he didn’t mean it and you can’t say it either!” Lucas frowns as the tall guy calls his sister by her name and plays with her long, blonde hair as he does it.

“I’m Eliott.” He finally introduces himself, looking deep inside Lucas’ eyes with a smile still resting easily on his lips. Lucas swallows hard, shoving it down with it all the dirty thoughts he just had with Eliott.

“Lucas.” Eliott offers his hand and Lucas shakes hands with him, noticing the size difference and how Eliott holds his hand tightly.

It has been so long since Lucas was intimate with someone, anyone, it’s been so long he’s not picky at this point. Yann helped him with his siblings one time months ago and Lucas’ mind was foggy, he just needed to get out and have sex. And that’s what he did. The next morning he didn’t even remember the guy’s name, Lucas was only worrying about getting home to even consider asking names.

“Sorry for her, I’m trying to keep my eyes on both of them, but she just won’t stop.” Lucas puts Margot down inside the trolley with the little one, Noah. Eliott smiles at her and then at Lucas, still with his intense gaze.

“I’m sure it’s a lot of work for anyone, don’t worry.”

A tall woman walks closer to them, smiling and stopping right next to Eliott, smiling not as fondly at Lucas. She’s carrying a bottle of wine and some expensive cheese inside their trolley. She smells just as strongly as him, but different. Another alpha...

“This is Lucille...my friend.” Eliott and her exchange a confidant look and laugh and Lucas feels trapped, surrounded by two flirty and intimidating alphas, so lost, trying to take care of himself and two toddlers.

“I gotta go...thank you.” Lucas takes one last look at Eliott, raising his eyebrows as high as they can go, lost with Lucas’ sudden need to get away from them, but Lucas ignores it, holding the handles and walking away.

“No! Hm, Lucas, right?” Lucille rushes to his side and puts her hand on his trolley to stop him from going anywhere. “Eliott can help…”

She puts her other skinny hand on Eliott’s shoulder, squeezing it and Eliott looks at her, clearly not feeling like helping a strange omega at the grocery store, but he sighs and looks at Lucas again, his pale skin quickly turning a soft shade of pink on his cheekbones.

“Yeah, of course. You live around here?”

Lucas is panicking, not knowing what to do, how to say he doesn’t need help from a married alpha, but he’s also so tired and so attracted to this...Eliott. He smiles at Lucas and gives the groceries he picked - chips and beer - to Lucille, holding Lucas’ trolley, waiting for him so they can go to the exit.

Noah can’t take his eyes off of Eliott. He’s almost falling backward in an attempt to look up enough to see Eliott’s face. Margot rushed to stand inside the trolley as soon as Eliott started pushing it, telling him all about how Lucas made hot chocolate for them in the morning.

“Your kids?” Eliott asks once they reach the cashier, Margot is handing him one item at a time to scan, playing with Noah in between each round.

Lucas blinks a few times, watching the scene of this ridiculously good looking alpha getting along so well with Margot and Noah, scanning all his groceries, handling everything with an ease that Lucas doesn’t have with months living with the two kids. They barely have a routine, every grocery trip is a nightmare. “Huh?! No! No...my-siblings.” Lucas stutters, desperate to tell a stranger these wild children are not his.

“Oh.” Eliott raises his eyebrows, looking at Lucas and then at the kids. “They smell like you.” He looks up again at Lucas, searching his face in a way Lucas can’t really understand but he wants to dig a hole underneath his feet deep enough where he can hide forever.

They smell like you!

Of course they do, they all share a queen size bed because these kids don’t know what boundaries are. No matter how many times Lucas puts them in their shared crib, they always climb out and then into Lucas’ bedroom and bed.

“You’re the only omega, huh.” Eliott says in a playful manner and Lucas get the look he was giving him a second ago. He was probably feeling sorry for Lucas, such a little prey between these alphas, thinking he’s some kind of submissive dumbass. Usually he wouldn’t care, there’s no way this kids will ever boss him around, but Lucas feels that reminder coming from Eliott burn all his insides, feeling like this is what Eliott wanted: to make him feel little and useless.

“Yep.” Eliott probably smells how unsettled Lucas is because he stands up straight again, looking at Lucas for a second that feels like an eternity, regretting his own words or at least the way he phrased it.

“Being an alpha is not as fun as you might think.” Lucas can’t help but roll his eyes and focus on something else like how attrached he’s to this stranger, soothing his anger with the thought of kissing Eliott’s lips, having his eyes on him for more than just a few moments. Eliott laughs at his face, more relaxed now, back to scanning Lucas’ groceries, putting everything away in bags, keeping everything so organized.

[jorgecrespo]

Weird one but can you rate the Isaks for how into their Emma's they managed to get across to everyone?

Jdmsjdkd this is hilarious thank you

1. Lucas/Chloe. Lucas is apparently a fantastic actor. He had big ol heart eyes for Eliott and was still selling the relationship with Chloe. Poor girl didn't deserve that but he really should get an oscar

2. Robbe/Noor. Now he has the benefit of not meeting Sander for two weeks, which makes the relationship seem more real and less like he's acting. Also he truly likes Noor. However that bitch had dead eyes. That doesn't help anything babe.

3. Isak/Emma. Isak gave literally zero shits about Emma. He could have seen her get hit by a bus and been like....huh that sucks. But he still managed to act like he gave a shit about her. Pour one out for Emma over that one.

4. Martino/Emma. Martino looked like he literally got lost and somehow ended up with this chick. Everything about him screamed get me out of here pls. Also she was really scary, I wasn't a fan. He didn't sell it at all but I don't blame him.

5. Matteo/Sara. My main question is, Sara honey how dumb are you? No offense but baby, that boy didn't like you. A toddler could see that. How literally everyone was like awwwwww they're so cute is beyond me. It looked like a hostage situation. Matteo was blinking for help in morse code. He was holding a gun to his head everytime they talked. He wasn't even trying to sell it, but everyone still bought it. Truly incredible.

[mrs-hollandstan]

Can you write about Dad au about Harry, when his toddler is little jealousy and think Harry and the reader don't love him anymore because the reader is pregnant with twins maybe?

I LOVE THIS

[[MORE]]

Elliott was distant. Of course, when you found out the twins in your belly were two more bouncing baby boys, times were changing. You were preparing for FOUR rambunctious boys in your house and the stress levels were high. You were unfocused on your little one, and Harry, always attempting to calm you always, seems to abandon him to. The day of a family barbeque with the Hollands, Uncle Tommy beelines straight for Eliott. The two are connected at the hip and he's the one Eliott admits his feelings to, Tom's heart snapping in two as he listens to your baby boy, the little one you both love more than anything in the world and were so excited to bring into this world, talk about how he thinks both you and Harry don't love him anymore and you might give him away. 

If Tom could drag his little brother away by his ear, he would've, but he refrained and settled for whispering to Harry. Your husband goes wide eyed before snagging your hand and dragging you off to the room Eliott and Tom had been playing in, crouching beside your baby boy, 

"Hey bud. Uncle Tommy tells me you think mumma and I don't love you anymore." The second he says it, your hormones kick in and your heart breaks the same Tom's had, tears stinging your eyes. You crouch on your knees beside Harry, watching your little wavy haired beautiful boy nod softly, cute pudgy cheeks making his lips purse as he continues to play with the blocks on the table in front of him. Harry reaches out and touches his soft arm, drawing the soft brown eyes to the both of you, 

"Hey... we love you so so much. You know why mumma's obsessed with you and is having baby brothers?" He asks. Eliott looks at you for a moment, shaking his head. Harry brushes his messy curls aside,

"Around the time mumma got pregnant, when you had just turned two, you were so beautiful. She loves this cute little face. And she knew that if she could talk me into givin her your baby brothers, she'd get more cute little faces." He says, reaching up to pinch Eliott's cheek. You take his tiny, fat hand in yours, pulling him towards you. You wrap your arms around him, letting single tears slip from the corners of your eyes, 

"I love you so much El. You're my baby and I could never, ever love you any less. I am so sorry that we made you think we didn't love you. I promise you that whatever you want, daddy and I'll get you okay. And then when baby brothers get here, you can help me and daddy decorate their room and all kinds of stuff okay?" You pose, holding his tiny body away from yours to see his face. He nods, searching your eyes. You smile softly, 

"I love you my sweet boy." You say. His own lips quirk, 

"Love you too mama." You drag him in, letting Harry stroke down the back of his hair, leaning in to kiss his cheek before you both stand, Eliott cradled over your bump, head rested on your shoulder. You walk from the room, Tom turning when he hears you approaching, smiling at the three of you. Walking under his arm, you lean into him, letting him kiss your temple and rub your shoulders. Smiling down at Eliott, he hums, 

"No pound for you little man. Guess we're keepin ya." You and Eliott smile before Tom chuckles, focusing back on the rest of the family in front of him. 

[demauryss]

For the "I love you" drabble prompt - 15 or 16? Whichever you prefer :) And in Elu?

hello kaleb :)) first of all let’s ignore the fact that i didn’t ghost you for so long on this ask. second, i hope you like this literal word vomit. it’s quite different from the prompt but let’s just roll with it, yeah?

no 16. from ‘the way you said i love you’ drabble challenge

“your sun looks like a giant ball of goo, lucas.”

eliott giggles like a middle-schooler whose crush has just told he likes him; gleeful and somewhat incredulous all the same. there’s a leaf stuck in his hair, green like the shine in his eyes. lucas huffs out an offended breath, turning his paintbrush dripping with green colour in a threatening stance against his annoying boyfriend.

“shut up, eliott. art is freedom of expression, you just said so yourself.”

eliott chuckles, lazily drawing out a shooting star on the canvas in front of him. next to his, lucas’s painting looks like one a toddler would make on the walls of his home after discovering his siblings’ stash of colours and what not.

“didn’t know we have a da vinci on our hands,” eliott muses, the slender wisps of grass behind him slanting with the air that’s moving, before uprighting once again. “i’m proud you’re learning fast.”

“hmm?” lucas asks, missing whatever eliott has said before because he was busy comparing the green of the sun drawn in the middle of his painting to the grass behind eliott. “what am i learning?”

eliott inhales deeply, dipping a paintbrush into water before dragging it across his canvas. lucas watches the effortless swish and slick of eliott’s wrist against the painting, enthralled. when lucas does it, it’s like he’s carrying something weighing a tonne. it’s never this easy and the paint ends up looking plain ugly. but then again, it’s eliott he’s talking about.

“not everyone is going to like what you make,” eliott says, eyes focused onto lucas like he’s speaking of something beyond painting, “and it’s important to know that. as long as you yourself are okay with it, what others think shouldn’t matter.”

and lucas doesn’t like the sudden serious turn their conversation has taken. he isn’t good with emotions. or words. or drawing a fucking sun. the point is, lucas isn’t good at anything deep.

“so as long as i’m okay with my sun looking like a pile of goo, what you say doesn’t matter?”

eliott laughs loudly. his eyes are squeezed shut. lucas grins at his effort. if he’s good at something, it’s deflecting situations which make him uncomfortable; which include just about everything.

“i swear to god, lucas,” eliott sighs, eyes glinting, “but yeah, that’s about it. and hey, what do you know, maybe in some parallel universe there’s a sun which is exactly like the one you painted; green and - and not pretty?”

what! eliott didn’t - he didn’t just call lucas’s sun ugly! lucas gasps, offended, “i guess so. but in that universe you must have yellow eyes then.”

there’s a beat of silence too long for lucas to hold in his laugh at eliott’s expression. his eyes quickly flit to the large green blob in the centre of lucas’s painting, the circle of goo-looking mass giving rise to an incredulous look on eliott’s face.

“luca- what the hell?” there’s a frown eliott supports on which lucas can bet everything he owns that it’s utterly fake. eliott’s bottom lip juts out like a toddler (yes, the same one who’d paint on the walls). damn it. lucas won’t be influenced by a fake pout.

“stop it, eliott,” lucas whines, “i don’t know whatever has given you the idea that you’re real cute, but that pout won’t work on me.”

lucas pushes at eliott’s arm lightly when the pout still won’t drop. there’s a smile pulling up at eliott’s face, eyes curving into little lines with crinkles denting the skin underneath, “whatever has given me the idea? do you want a list or what?”

lucas narrows his eyes sharply, not liking the taste the words produce in his mouth, “there’s a list?”

“yes,” eliott says, crawling closer to lucas over the grass, “you. you’re the list.”

“oh my god, eliott!” lucas groans loudly, effectively hiding the heat of his cheeks and his burning ears by dropping his face into the curve of his elbow, “you’re so fucking cheesy!”

eliott scoffs. there’s a finger touching the shell of his ear visible behind his arm, “says the guy who painted the sun after my eyes.”

lucas can’t help his smile. he looks up, cheeks burning and all, stomach leaping with joy, “but you still love me.”

“that,” eliott sighs, finger tracing a curve on lucas’s cheek, tickling like the grass under the bare skin of his legs, “is fortunately true. i love you.”

lucas grins when eliott leans forward, pressing the warmth of his lips against the skin of lucas’s skin. “i love you.” lucas sighs when eliott moves over him, eyes a much different shade than what lucas coloured the sun with. but that’s totally on him,though. lucas is shit at painting.

“i love you.” eliott says, dipping his head down to meet lucas’s lips, nose nudging together when lucas turns his neck a bit, deepening the kiss. “ilove you,” he repeats. i love you. i love you. i love you.

the wind carries the words away to a distant place lucas would revisit in a minute or two. raising his hands, lucas steadies them on eliott’s chest, forgetting for a moment they’re in an open place. eliott responds by moving his hands closer, one touching lucas’s face. the other, in the wake of supporting his body, landing harshly on the blob of green on the page next to lucas’s head.

“fuck,” eliott quickly sits up, wrist covered in remnants of lucas’s masterpiece.

“eliott, my sun!” lucas whines, scoffing when eliott’s expression quickly transforms from mildly apologetic to smug once again. his smile, as it comes, is blinding, “now that’s what you call cheesy.”

“shut up,” lucas barks out a laugh, unexpected and light, like the sun above him - not eliott, the real thing, blob, whatever. eliott smiles, crawling forward and pressing his lips against lucas’s once again.

i love you. eliott must say at some point, the words engrained senselessly in lucas’s mind, but there all the same.

[choupichoups]

Eliott falls helplessly infatuated with his best friend’s little brother— he knows he’s writing up his own death wish going after this boy, but fuck if Lucas isn’t the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

Or: Eliott’s under the impression that his best friend’s new step brother, ‘Lulu’, is a literal baby. Nobody tells him the guy’s actually a fucking babe-y.

It takes two whole days for Eliott to reconcile with the fact that Lucas ‘Lulu’ Delacroix is not, in fact, a five year old toddler. From the way Adrien talks about him, gushing about how tiny and adorable and sweet he is, nobody can possibly fault Eliott for getting the wrong idea.

It takes three more days of juggling the pros and cons before he comes to the conclusion that it’s for everyone’s best interest if he just works on forgetting about Lucas altogether.

Ever since that fateful day in first grade when their teacher had forcefully made her students sit in order of their last names, Adrien has been a stable, grounding presence by Eliott's side. He's not eager to put to test one of the best things he's got going. Not even for a chance to have those pretty blues looking up at him again, not for the feel of those soft hands around Eliott's neck, sliding up to card through the hair at the back of his head, not for the warmth of those legs wrapped around his—

"Eliott?"

Not for any of those. He hasn't even thought about it for a while now. Most especially not the smell of his hair nor the shape of his smile.

“Eliott!”

Carefully, he checks that his mask of indifference is still perfectly in place before he turns his focus back on Christine, a classmate he’s been partnered up with for a small assignment. “Yeah?" he asks, smiling in hopes of it being distracting enough for her to let him get away with the inattention.

It works. Of course it works. She beams right back at him and graciously repeats herself. ”I was asking if later tonight is good for you?”

Eliott backtracks into their conversation, realizing that he has no idea how to answer that. He thinks he’s got it, vaguely remembering her mentioning a gig at some bar. Maybe going out with her would help take his mind off of Lucas.

There’s a muffled thud followed by the sound of books crashing together— the commotion is loud in the hush of the library and Eliott turns his head, peeking in between the shelves. His stomach does a somersault when he spies a familiar head of wild hair frantically moving around in the next aisle.

“So?” Christine asks again, looking steadily more confused the longer Eliott takes to answer.

“Ah,” he says, eyes switching between her and the small gap from where he watches Lucas’ head disappear, presumably to pick up the books he’s tumbled over. Eliott itches to run to him. Alone at the back of the library with his boy? Ever the opportunistic fool, it’s truly way too much for Eliott’s fragile self control to pass up. “I’ll have to check something first, I’ll text you,” he mumbles out quickly, making his leave with a final smile towards Christine. She waves him a cheerful goodbye without remembering that Eliott does not, in fact, have her phone number.

He pauses at the last minute, standing just beside the shelf, watching Lucas return some titles back into the shelf while leaving some on the ground. What little semblance is left of Eliott’s resolve melts right away when Lucas lifts onto his toes to reach for a book but doesn’t quite get there, fingers barely grazing the spine.

Eliott decides fuck it, he’s going to approach. They’re both adults here. And what Adrien doesn’t know won’t kill him anyway.

He watches Lucas huff to himself for a second longer before sliding right up behind the struggling boy and snatching the book off its shelf. Lucas jumps, wide eyes going straight to Eliott. When he turns around, it lands him smack dab into the circle of Eliott’s arms.

Book in hand, Eliott stands there smiling while Lucas blinks back at him like a startled baby animal.

“Um,” Lucas starts, eyes darting from Eliott and then to the book he’s got high up in the air, held well out of Lucas’ reach. “I need that.”

“Yeah, well.” Eliott shrugs, pretending to think about it. “I got it first so… what if I need it too?”

“But I found it first.”

“I have it in my hands.”

Lucas is frowning now, looking dangerously close to stomping his feet. “I really need it today, you can have it tomorrow, I swear.”

It’s cute that Lucas thinks this has anything to do with the book at all.

“Eh, I don’t think so.” Eliott dodges easily when Lucas makes a lunge upward. “You’re the one who owes me over here, Lucas.”

If Eliott’s self preservation instincts are in working order, he’d realize that now is a good time to back off. Irritation practically steams out of Lucas’ skin. “Me? Owe you wh—” Lucas stops then, looking properly up at Eliott rather than the book he’s so desperate to get his hands on. His eyes waver, drifting from Eliott’s face, down to the ground and back, before he seems to have an epiphany, hypothetical lightbulb glowing above his head. “Weed guy,” he mutters under his breath.

Weed guy? Seriously? Lucas has been running maddening circles around Eliott’s head for five excruciating days only for his boy to remember him as weed guy?

Ouch.

“Eliott, actually,” he corrects with a tight smile. He’s been contemplating giving the book back to Lucas after he finally recognizes Eliott but he retracts that thought now— petty in the face of such a dismissal. He holds the book up higher, prompting Lucas to jump up in a bid to snatch it from Eliott’s grip, laughing when it only works to bring them closer together.

Lucas backs up as much as he can, pouting while his eyes track the book. Unfortunately for Lucas, Eliott’s apparently reverted back to grade school mindset so the expression only makes Eliott want to tease him some more. What’s so good about the stupid book anyway? Eliott’s right there, Lucas should be paying attention to him.

“Look, I’m sorry about the party, okay? I was a little drunk.” Lucas drops to his knees and starts stacking the books in his arms.

Eliott lifts an eyebrow. “Sorry about what?”

When Lucas springs back up, it’s with his lips pursed, arms tight around the bundle of books as he gets right up in Eliott’s space. “I’m sorry for stealing your stuff, can I have my book back now?”

After the show Lucas had treated him with at the party, he really thinks that Eliott still cares about that joint? “I don’t care about the weed.”

“Really?”

“I’ve got lots where that comes from.”

“Oh, do you now.”

“Mhm, I’m very resourceful.” Eliott grins, bringing the book back down. Lucas picks it out of his hands, indignant. “They’re back at my place, in fact. Wanna come join me? We can just smoke and chill.”

“No.”

Eliott blinks, not expecting such a quick shut down. “No?”

“I don’t know you.” Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to a stranger’s place alone.”

His mind whirs for a nonexistent Plan B, sticky little fingers in his brain making grabby hands for something, anything that would interest Lucas enough to have him agree. “Ah, okay. How about… there’s a thing at some bar nearby, me and a few others are heading there tonight. You can come if you want. Heard the music’s gonna be cool.”

“Wow, a thing at some bar? Tempting,” Lucas responds, shaking his head. “But no, I’m not into that.”

He’s missed the mark by a mile. “Alright, fine, I get it. You’re not going out with me...” Eliott recognizes his defeat. "... today.” he tacks on at the end, eyebrows rising playfully when Lucas rolls his eyes yet again.

He doesn’t know what it says about him when Lucas smiles and it still feels like he’s won despite getting turned down. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not going out at all,” Lucas says, squeezing the books closer to his chest. “I’m busy.”

“That’s too bad,” Eliott grins back, shoulders lifting in a shrug. “You look really cute today.”

The pink in Lucas’ cheeks is an unexpected but very welcome surprise. Eliott watches his lashes flutter as Lucas breaks contact in favour of looking down at their shoes. It’s a strange feeling, watching the soft tinge spread over the bridge of Lucas’ nose. Of course he blushes pretty, Eliott thinks absently, wildly elated to be the cause of that reaction, but it doesn’t bring around the usual sense of victory— Eliott doesn’t feel like he’s caught anything at all, though the warmth blooming across his chest the longer he gazes at Lucas has a small part of his brain warning for him to abort mission.

He ignores it, willful that this is nothing out of the ordinary.

“Can I go now?” Lucas asks, breaking the silence. When Lucas tilts his head back up, there’s no trace of that previous timidness to be found, and Eliott finds himself looking into the same playful eyes that caught him on a chokehold that very first time. “Or are you just going to keep staring at me, Eliott?”

His name sounds wonderful coming from Lucas’ lips. Eliott blinks, dropping the arm caging Lucas in place, movement slow and halting like a stringed puppet, the boy in front of him its unwitting master.

“Wait, wait, wait. Give me your number, at least?” Eliott says in a rush, pivoting in the same direction where Lucas is headed. He lifts a hand halfway through but the latter is already out of arm’s reach.

Lucas doesn’t even turn around. “Get it yourself, oh resourceful one.”

And so Eliott’s left in the dust once again— stunned, captivated, and right back on square one.

Pre-game is at Sofiane’s. Or their version of a pre-game anyway, seeing as there’s not a drop of alcohol in sight. The four of them are just hanging around to kill time before heading to the bar Christine had been telling Eliott about. He’d had zero intentions of going there, especially after Lucas’ rejection, but Christine had reminded Eliott about it on Instagram, very publically tagged him on a post about it, and the rest of the guys had latched onto the idea like thirsty little leeches, dying of boredom as they evidently are.

“No but seriously, it was so funny like, Lucas had to climb up the rocks in his fucking suit just to look for the ring,” Adrien’s saying, flipping through his phone as he shows Idriss some more photos from his parents’ wedding. Eliott perks up, previously disinterested demeanour found dead in a ditch at the mention of Lucas’ name.

Sofiane comes out of the kitchen, laughing as he balances about a dozen juice boxes in his arms. “Who thought of putting the ring on the dog’s collar? That’s so stupid!”

“They saw it on Pinterest and thought it was cute or something, I don’t know,” Adrien snorts, pausing on a photo. “Here, Lucas lost his tie and ripped his pants at the knee, he looks like a delinquent.”

Trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, Eliott straightens from his slouch and looks over, propping his chin up on Adrien’s shoulder for a better view.

As expected, the photo is cute as fuck and Eliott has to consciously mind what his face is doing so as to not give anything away. He blindly reaches for one of the juice boxes and sips on it innocently, the image of a rumpled, grumpy looking Lucas engraved in his retinas. The boys keep going through the photos while Adrien narrates the story behind them and Eliott curls himself into one end of the couch, pulling up his Instagram.

Lucas Delacroix doesn’t bring him any positive results but seeing as the official marriage between Adrien’s dad and Lucas’ mom only happened recently, it makes more sense for Lucas to have a different last name. He can try lurking in the people Adrien’s following, but scrolling through thousands of people’s profiles isn’t exactly his ideal way to spend an evening so he’d rather not.

Eliott flicks his eyes over to where Adrien’s still giggling over the photos and nonchalantly asks, “What was your stepmom’s last name? Before marrying your dad?”

Thankfully, no one seems to find the question too odd. It is still somewhat related to their topic of conversation so he’s in the clear for now. Idriss takes the phone from Adrien to continue browsing while the latter looks up to the ceiling, emitting a lengthy ‘uh’ noise as he thinks about it before he settles on an unsure, “Clement?”

Lucas Clement brings up nothing.

“Wait no, Le… Lelonde?”

Lucas Lelonde isn’t right either.

“No! Okay, it was Lallemant.”

Lucas Lallemant

A slow grin breaks out, unhindered, when Eliott clicks on a profile that is unmistakably Lucas’ and he has to straight up muffle a mad giggle as he scrolls through. The opportunity to send a message is right under his nose, but Eliott allows himself to delay a little.

“Why?” Adrien asks, directing the question at Eliott. He misses a beat or two before finally remembering that Adrien is the one to give him the intel and he should come up with an answer right about now.

“Nothing, just wondering,” is his uncreative response.

Sofiane spills his juice laughing at one of the photos and it effectively steals Adrien’s attention away. Eliott goes back to his own phone, clicking at each and every one of Lucas’ posts, finding himself more and more endeared as he goes. Even the stupid meme and blurry concert posts are cute. And don’t get him started on the pictures of his actual face. Fucking adorable.

He doesn’t follow Lucas, inclining towards the safe side on the off chance that Adrien notices the development.

srodulv Gotta love being resourceful

A mark shows up below the message, letting Eliott know that Lucas has seen it, yet he receives no reply. But what is Eliott Demaury if not a persistent little shit.

srodulv So The Clash huh? I get why you wouldn’t be into the bar thing Heard Metallica’s doing a show next Friday I can score us some tickets if you want

lucallemant Who is this

srodulv Your date for next Friday

lucallemant Oh Cancel it

srodulv Wow

lucallemant I don’t date strangers

srodulv But I’m not a stranger I’m your weed guy

lucallemant Oh ok In that case Cancel it

srodulv :(

lucallemant :)

srodulv What will it take for Lucas Lallemant to stop breaking my heart

lucallemant Lol That would require Eliott Demaury to have a heart

The response gives him pause— that’s some awfully spot on roasting for someone who supposedly doesn’t know who Eliott is.

srodulv So you know who I am

lucallemant It literally says on your profile

srodulv I didn’t mean my name How did you know I’ve sold my heart to the devil  

Lucas doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even read the messages. Eliott’s stuck reloading the page like an idiot, exiting and reopening the app just in case there’s a lag affecting his notifications. He’s so focused on mentally convincing Instagram to magically spit out an answer in the form of one particularly frustrating boy that he doesn’t realize Idriss has stood from his spot on the couch and is headed for the space behind him until it’s nearly too late.

“What are you staring at?” Idriss asks, the soft thuds of his footsteps sounding too close for comfort.

Eliott’s fingers spasm in his rush to exit out of the chat and consequently start pressing randomly at his phone screen. “Nothing,” he mutters, accidentally deleting his Twitter app in his fumbling and oh fuck, well, there that goes. He doesn’t use it much anyway. “I’m just playing…” By the time Idriss leans down to peer at Eliott’s phone, he’s got a game up and running, pressing the start button frantically without paying much attention as to what exactly he’s supposedly deemed worthy of his laser focus. “… Temple Run."

“Temple Run.” Idriss repeats blandly.

“Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat, promptly dying when the guy on the screen falls pathetically into a hole. “Got back into it. Addicting as always, hm.”

“Sure.” Idriss eyes him suspiciously but he lets it be. “Come on, we gotta leave or we’ll be late.”

“Can I just stay here?” Eliott says, shuffling into a more comfortable position to get more ground when Adrien stands and starts pulling both him and Sofiane off the couch.

“No, come on, we haven’t done anything in a while.”

“It’s been a week, Adri.” Since that last godforsaken party that landed him in this pathetic situation in the first place.

Sofiane grumbles about having to return the juice boxes back in the fridge but goes easily enough, putting up less of a resistance than Eliott. Adrien gives him a look, sits on the coffee table in front of the couch, and holds up a fist.

Eliott huffs childishly but he answers with a light bump of his own fist against Adrien’s and pushes himself off the couch. It’s a thing they've started since they were children— if one of them notices that the other isn’t cool with something, the other would hold up a fist. An answering fist would mean everything’s fine but an answering palm would mean a bail out. It’s an unchanging dynamic, an existing comfort long before Eliott’s bipolar made itself known.

“Come on, Eli, don’t think I haven’t noticed you stressing out this past week,” Adrien says, draping an arm around Eliott’s shoulder. Eliott gives him a pained smile, guilty as fuck even though his best friend has no idea what exactly he’s been stressing about. “We’ll just take it chill tonight, I won’t even drink that much so we can have intelligent conversations about your superior taste in music!”

So of course Adrien gets face meltingly inebriated long before midnight even hits.

His dumbass best friend is laughing too loudly at a joke one of the bar singers makes and Eliott gives him a dirty look, tempted to hit him upside the head for depriving him of the intelligent conversation he’s been promised. Thankfully, Christine is sober and engaging. Eliott’s been trying his hardest to reciprocate her advances, flirting a little and smiling in abundance.

But the thing is Eliott doesn’t try. That kind of thing normally comes natural for him so he doesn’t know what kind of slump he’s going through right now but it has got to stop. It’s really cramping his style.

He places an arm behind Christine’s chair, nodding as she whispers about… the singer? The bartender? Eliott loses track of their conversation when his phone vibrates in his pocket. There’s no polite way to check on it with Christine sitting so close beside him, especially if the notification is what he’s hoping for it to be.

Eliott waits it out, fingers tapping an anxious rhythm in their itch to dig out the device.

It’s a losing battle.

“Just gonna run to the bathroom,” he says, distancing himself far enough from Christine so that she doesn’t take it as an invitation to follow.

lucallemant What did you sell it for?

Eliott leans against the sinks, only just managing to withhold pumping a fist in the air. He’d honestly thought that Lucas would let the conversation die.

srodulv A chance to meet you

lucallemant Gross

He giggles into his hand. God, he’d give up a limb to see Lucas’ face at this moment.

srodulv Come on that was good You’re smiling

lucallemant No You’re responding pretty fast for someone who’s supposed to be at a bar

srodulv You’re responding pretty fast for someone who’s supposed to be busy

lucallemant Whoops I finished earlier than I thought

srodulv This bar thing is pretty boring Come out with me

lucallemant What right now?

srodulv Yes

lucallemant No

srodulv My nonexistent heart is dying

lucallemant If you can get me out without my parents noticing then kudos to you

srodulv Those are challenging words Maybe I’ll throw pebbles at your window

The door opens with a bang and Idriss comes running in with a flushed Adrien rushing to one of the stalls. Eliott winces when he hears the consequences of Adrien’s excessive drinking going down the toilet.

“Guess we’re cutting the night short?” His question is met with Idriss’ laughter and a groan from Adrien. Eliott straightens up, nonchalant of the fact that he’s been caught standing around smiling at his phone in the bathroom. His friends are too preoccupied to pick up on it anyway.

lucallemant Ok I won’t answer though

srodulv So cruel

They say goodbye to Christine and her friends while Sofiane rounds up the car. Adrien’s nearly asleep by now, depending on Eliott and Idriss to keep him standing. Idriss meets his eyes from over Adrien’s limp head and they roll their eyes at each other. When Adrien really wants to drink, the guy can get drunk and the boys have dealt with the aftermath enough to have an established routine for whenever it happens.

Which means they’re all headed over to Adrien’s and one of them has to stay the night because Adrien’s a needy, weepy drunk.

srodulv Keep talking to me at least

lucallemant I’m going to sleep

srodulv At 22h? Sounds fake

lucallemant Go knock on someone else’s window, Romeo

srodulv I’m a one window type of guy

lucallemant Sounds fake

Eliott gets designated babysitter of the night, Idriss and Sofiane citing that he hasn’t done it in ages. In Eliott’s defence, he hasn’t taken his turn only because he’s been too busy being elsewhere for the last couple of times this has happened. He puts up a token protest just so it doesn’t come off too obviously that he would actually love staying over at Adrien’s. Would have volunteered himself as tribute if the other two hadn’t already appointed him.

As they struggle to guide Adrien out of the car, Eliott looks up at the massive estate— well off is an understatement when describing Adrien’s dad. The man’s an engineer, often working out of the country for weeks and even months on end. Adrien used to stay over at Eliott’s a lot, making the trip all the way into the city where Eliott’s apartment is located, lonely despite of the relatives who come to keep him company. Until Lucas and his mom came along.

“Ah shit, we have to go through the basement so the alarm doesn’t sound. Sofiane, can you find his keys?” Idriss asks, unceremoniously dragging their friend past the pool and towards the back. “Eliott, a little help here?”

Eliott rushes to take half of Adrien’s weight, distracted as his eyes land on the farthest window to the left— it’s the only room with the light on. Lucas.

He’s pretty sure they make enough of a ruckus despite their best efforts to keep quiet but luckily the door to Adrien’s parents’ room remains shut.

Getting Adrien to his room upstairs is a workout, especially since Eliott is more focused on the shadows moving behind Lucas’ closed door than the task at hand. He walks Sofiane and Idriss back outside after, whispering and giggling to themselves, feeling accomplished in their mission to get Adrien home without his parents waking up. There would be hell to pay if Mr. Delacroix catches them interrupting his sleep, especially when they’ve been explicitly advised that he and his wife have an early flight to catch the next morning.

Back in the house, he pauses just outside Adrien’s room. Eliott’s eyes are stuck on the light streaming from the small gap between Lucas’ door and the floor. Lucas had probably listened in on their struggle to put Adrien to bed. Probably thinks either Idriss or Sofiane are going to stay over. Probably doesn’t know Eliott is part of the group at all.

Eliott feels a giddy rush run through him. The next morning can’t come fast enough.

srodulv :) Goodnight, Juliet

[surrealsunday]

Jaime... j a i m e.... now all i can think about is lucas and eliott taking Manon and Idriss' kid off their hands for an afternoon, maybe to the zoo or something, and Lucas standing there holding this adorable curly haired toddler on his hip and pointing at a giraffe and making them giggle while eliott walks up from going to buy ice cream, stopping in awe at the sweetness of the sight in front of him..... jaime im going to die

WTF BROOKE!!! If you’re going to die, you’re clearly taking me with you. I can picture this so perfectly?! I want to cry 😭! Think of the trouble Lucas would get into with his sweet little nephew/niece. And initially Eliott would try to be the responsible one... but he could never resist that look on Lucas’s face and now there’s the addition of a toddler pouting... he’s doomed. I want it!!! Excuse me while I go drown myself in tears. 

Also *whispers* you’ll get a visual of what Manon and Idriss’s kid looks like in the epilogue... curly hair indeed 🥰

[pancakesplayssims]

Eliza showing Eliott flash cards and his faces are the best.

[thatsacult]

Some people just don't want kids, and often find they're questioned, mistrusted, or even hated for it. The childfree subreddit has become a digital home for 142,000 of them. 

​Can the internet be a place of respite for people being pestered by their broody parents? Or are they longing for a childfree, separatist world that isolates and misunderstands parents?

Written and edited by: Helen McCarthy www.twitter.com/helenlmccarthy

Music by: Antti Luode www.anttismusic.blogspot.co.uk

Thanks to all the episode contributors. 

EPISODE 1 - CHILDFREE SOURCES:

SUBREDDITS r/childfree https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/ "Discussion and links of interest to childfree individuals".

r/antinatalism https://www.reddit.com/r/antinatalism/ "Antinatalism is a philosophical position that assigns a negative value to birth, standing in opposition to natalism".

r/AskParents https://www.reddit.com/r/AskParents/ "A Subreddit devoted to the asking of questions to parents".

r/AntiChildFree https://www.reddit.com/r/AntiChildFree/ Subreddit opposing r/childfree.

r/Fencesitter https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter/ "A place to ask questions, share experiences and offer support to those who are on the fence about having kids".

TWITTER @childfree_not_4 https://twitter.com/childfree_not_4 "Interested in childfree, teamnokids, voluntary childlessness, antinatalism, MGTOW, tubal ligation, vasectomy, overpopulation, nihilism, pessimism, hedonism"

@ChildfreeChick https://twitter.com/ChildFreeChick "Childfree Atheist"

FACEBOOK Childfree Humor https://www.facebook.com/ChildfreeHumor/?ref=br_rs "For people who don't care much for kids and want to have a laugh about it".

The Advocacy for Anti-Procreation https://www.facebook.com/advocacy.anti.procreation/ Supporting: ChildFree, Adoption/Fostering/Respite Care, Assisted Dying, Nihilism, Animals, Birth Control, Choice, & Environmental topics... it's time we reduced our carbon footprint".

STFU Parents https://www.facebook.com/STFUParents/ "You used to be fun. Now you have a baby".

Childfree Chicks Confidential (closed group) https://www.facebook.com/groups/childfreechicksconfidential/?ref=br_rs "We are a diverse group with childfree & childless women & men".

we're {not} having a baby https://www.facebook.com/WereNotHavingABaby/ "we’re {not} having a baby! is the brainchild of Amy & Lance Blackstone, a childfree couple, married since 1995".

Cheerfully Childfree https://www.facebook.com/CheerfullyChildfree/ "A sanctuary to consider, become, and remain Childfree without the backlash of breeders who can't accept us for who we choose to be".

Elder Orphans (closed group) https://www.facebook.com/groups/elderorphans/ "The group is restricted to individuals over 55 who live without a spouse".

CHILDFREE SITES & BLOGS The Childfree Life http://thechildfreelife.com/ "A safe haven in a baby-crazed world".

The Rinky Dink Life http://therinkydinklife.com/ Site created by Brittany Brolley for childfree women and "DINK couples (dual income & no kids)".

TLFW http://tlfw.co.uk/ "Lifestyle network for childfree women".

Why No Kids http://whynokids.com/ "We're childfree and happy. You could be too!"


Childfree Woman by Karin Rahbek http://www.childfreewoman.com/ "How to gain respect and acceptance".

Nonparents.com https://www.nonparents.com/ "For people without children by circumstance or choice".

Jesse Nichols' blog - Why I choose to be childfree https://medium.com/jesse-nichols-blog/why-i-choose-to-be-child-free-7282bd75a38c "An open letter to family and friends".

Childfree is Not a Dirty Word http://notadirtyword.com/ "Connect with childfree adults from around the globe. We do life, laughter and tears. Whether childless by chance or by choice, you are welcome here".

PRESS & ARTICLES Inside the growing movement of women who wish they’d never had children, Sarah Treleaven, Elle UK. 15 Dec 2016. http://www.elleuk.com/life-and-culture/culture/longform/a33037/i-regret-having-kids/

Having It All Without Having Children, Lauren Sandler, TIME. 12 Aug 2013. http://content.time.com/time/subscriber/article/0,33009,2148636-1,00.html

12 Women Discuss Whether They Regret Their Decisions Around Motherhood, Sara Coughlin, Refinery 29. 29 April 2017. http://www.refinery29.uk/being-a-mom-regrets-reddit-stories?utm_r29_redirect=us

Adults Who Choose Not to Have Kids Inspire Moral Outrage, Study Finds, Julia Layton, Health: How Stuff Works. 17 March 2017. https://bit.ly/2PxLUpO

Parenthood as a Moral Imperative? Moral Outrage and the Stigmatization of Voluntarily Childfree Women and Men, Leslie Ashburn-Nardo, Springer Science+Business Media. 11 March 2016 https://bit.ly/33BzIwx

Huge demand for Baby-Free Zones, William Jordan, YouGov. 27 Aug 2013. https://yougov.co.uk/news/2013/08/27/four-five-want-child-free-zone-planes/

Childless couples 'on track to be Australia's most common family type', Stephanie Corsetti, ABC News Australia. 15 May 2017. https://ab.co/3fIUNYa

'Shut the f**k up, parents': Meet the (childless) woman behind vicious baby blog that has the mommy set up in arms, Daily Mail. 4 Oct 2012. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/weather/index.html  The Very Sad Childfree Life, Robert Barron, Real Clear Religion. 9 Sep 2013. http://www.realclearreligion.org/articles/2013/09/09/the_very_sad_childfree_life.html

Meet the 20-Somethings Who Want To Be Sterilized, Catherine Pearson, Huffington Post. 24 Oct 2014. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/female-sterilization-young-women_n_5882000

Judgement of Child-Free People is Real - And Now There's Science to Prove It, J.R. Thorpe, Bustle. 3 Mar 2017 https://www.bustle.com/p/judgement-of-child-free-people-is-real-now-theres-science-to-prove-it-41787

No kids allowed: Is Britain becoming an anti-child society? Kerry Potter, The Telegraph. 31 Aug 2017. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/no-kids-allowed-is-britain-becoming-an-anti-child-society/

Midlife Ramblings: What I Don’t Get About My Childless/Childfree Young Friends, Ann Brenoff, Huffington Post. 9 Feb 2013. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-brenoff/childless-to-my-childless-friends_b_2616049.html

I used to judge childfree women, Eleanor Tucker, The Guardian. 8 Nov 2014. https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/nov/08/i-used-to-judge-childfree-women

The Outrage Against Childfree Women Is Real — And Needs To Stop, Therese Shechter and Amy Blackstone, Bust. http://bust.com/feminism/19421-moral-outrage-childfree.html

Silent bodies: Childfree women's gendered and embodied experiences, Helen Peterson and Kristina Engwall, European Journal of Women's Studies. 2013. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/259975667_Silent_bodies_Childfree_women's_gendered_and_embodied_experiences

Study Finds People Are Morally Outraged by Those Who Decide Not to Have Kids, Kimberly Lawson, Broadly. 2 Mar 2017. https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/a3wvgp/study-finds-people-are-morally-outraged-by-those-who-decide-not-to-have-kids

How to Decide Whether to Have Children, Olga Khazan, The Atlantic. 22 May 2017. https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/05/how-people-decide-whether-to-have-children/527520/

Our Planet Is So F****d That Some Women Are Choosing to Not Have Kids, Linda Yang, Broadly. 14 Dec 2016.  https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/59mb5d/our-planet-is-so-fucked-that-some-women-are-choosing-to-not-have-kids

'Why I'd BAN children from cafes and restaurants.' This incendiary view will either make you cheer or want to tip spaghetti hoops over the author's head, Janet Street-Porter, Daily Mail. 23 Nov 2015. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3331117/Why-d-BAN-children-cafes-restaurants-incendiary-view-make-cheer-want-tip-spaghetti-hoops-author-s-head-writes-Janet-Street-Porter.html

Father was 'sexting' as son was dying in hot car, Eliott C. McLaughlin and Dana Ford, CNN. 7 Jan 2015. http://edition.cnn.com/2014/07/03/justice/georgia-hot-car-toddler-death/

How the rise of childless women could change the face of Britain: Rampant infidelity. A struggling economy. Meltdown for the NHS. And shorter life expectancies, Maureen Brookbanks, Daily Mail. 14 Jan 2016. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3398484/How-rise-childless-women-change-face-Britain-Rampant-infidelity-struggling-economy-Meltdown-NHS-shorter-life-expectancies.html

Why do childless people hate kids so much? Jennifer Wilde, Baby Centre Blog. 7 Dec 2011. https://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/why-do-childless-people-hate-kids-so-much/comment-page-2/

The ChildFREE (Hate) Movement: Childless By Choice, Alan Thomas, Imperfect Parent. http://www.imperfectparent.com/articles/the-childfree-hate-movement-childless-by-choice/

I fought a four-year battle with the NHS to be sterilised at 30 - and won, Holly Brockwell, The Telegraph. 24 March 2016. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/i-fought-a-four-year-battle-with-the-nhs-to-be-sterilised-at-30/

BOOKS Violence Goes to the Internet: Avoiding the Snare of the Net, Evan M. Axelrod, 2009.

Religion Online: Finding Faith on the Internet, Lorne L. Dawson, Douglas E. Cowan, 2013.

VIDEOS Why do people join cults? TED-Ed on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TEDEducation/videos/1623132447699955/

MISCELLANEOUS Rational Wiki - Childfree Movement https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Childfree_movement

Pregnant Pause podcast https://www.pregnantpausepodcast.com/

Ann Davidman - Motherhood Clarity Mentor http://motherhoodisitforme.com

Is the Child Free movement anti-feminist? Mumsnet forum, 27 Apr 2011. https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1202284-Is-the-Child-Free-movement-anti-feminist

To be dead jealous of childless couples sometimes? What do you miss? Mumsnet forum, 29 Sep 2008. https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/616638-to-be-dead-jealous-of-childless-couples-sometimes-what-do

The Anti Child Free Blog  http://anti-child-free.blogspot.co.uk/