#Tools for thinking better

[glass-expanse]

So, you're thinking about a problem.

Many such cases, my condolences. Maybe it's something you're frustrated by, or sad about, or is making you feel anxious. But! Regardless of how it's making you feel, it IS a problem, and you know that. Otherwise why would you be thinking about it?

But there's a question we can ask to figure out if thinking about that problem is making it worse, or better.

"HOW am I thinking about this problem?" Not why, not what is the problem... HOW. But what do I mean by this? When I ask how you're thinking about the problem, I want to identify whether you're STRESSING or SOLVING.

Now, especially if you're an overthinker, the line between these two things can be a bit blurred. "If I think enough about it, maybe I can fix it!" Easy mistake to make. So let's break down what the ACTUAL difference is between stressing and solving.

Stressing is the act of pulling yourself apart by thinking about your problem. It's characterized by sitting in the FEELINGS of your problem. "I feel frustrated, worried, sad." And then repeating those feelings in your head like an echo chamber. Sure, maybe you have an "I feel this BECAUSE of that" statement or two, but focusing on your feelings and where they stem from is stressing. You're gonna feel rotten.

Contrast this with solving. Take the "because" part(s) of your statement above, and look for solutions. When you are thinking in a solutions based mindset, you are actively seeking things you can do to improve the situation. Even if that solution is simply to change how you feel about it!

But notice-- the key difference here is about what we can control. We often hear that we can only control our attitudes... and while there are elements of truth, that's not the entirety of the story! When you are stressing, you are thinking and worrying about what you cannot control. When you are solving, you are choosing to control what you can (including your focus... Which in turn helps control your attitude).

Here's a simple example that I run into with irritating frequency. There are dirty dishes stacked in the sink, a basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded, not to mention troubles with someone who's giving me a hard time somewhere else. It's very easy for me to get stuck in stressing mode about this. I sit in the emotion of overwhelm and run through my mind those things that are causing me to be upset.

When I sit there, lost in the sauce of my thoughts, I am refusing to control what I can control by deciding to sit there actionless, and worrying about what I cannot control by running what someone said to me over and over in my head. So what an I do to stop stressing and start solving?

The first thing is to identify what you can and cannot control. Obviously, my dirty dishes and clean laundry are chores. They require simple action from me. By taking that action, I remove that point of stress. The counterpart to that is what someone said to me. I cannot control what they say or feel towards me. But I can control how I respond by being humble towards them, etc.

Now that I have identified what I can and cannot control, I can then choose what I'm going to do with that information. Clearly I've already figured out what each of those things make me feel. There's no use in repeating that if I've already been sitting in the Overwhelm for the past couple hours. So instead, I ought to decide how I'm going to act.

Having identified the controllable and uncontrollable aspects of my situation, my action steps should be aligned with how I have categorized what is stressing me. I should take the time to go do my dishes and laundry so that it's not bothering me anymore. And instead of feeling bad about what someone said to me, I should choose to not allow that to distract me, look at what self esteem issues it might be bringing up, and work on dealing with the root of my response to what was said rather than worrying about the intent of who said it. (Now, this response is certainly not universal, but according to my personal spiritual and moral beliefs, that is how I would approach that. If you think it's better to cut off someone who bothered you, you do you I guess, I don't have to condone your actions for you to do it. It's still an action step instead of soaking in how bad you feel about it.)

So there you go. Determine what you feel bad about. Determine why you're responding that way. Sort your concerns between controllable and uncontrollable. Act on the controllable and work on your reactions in the uncontrollable. Solve your problems instead of stressing on them. Be free of the overwhelm. Grow each day. God bless.

Brief disclaimer: I am well aware that both mental and physical illness can be an obstacle to action. This piece is intended to be a tool you can use, not a set of hard and fast rules that will fix everything. You are capable of more than you believe, it just might look different from what that other guy over there can do, and that's okay.

Bonus section for Christians

Remember to "cast all your cares on Christ, for He cares for you." Praying about your concerns and asking for wisdom can be an action step.

"We do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with us." He really does care, He understands being worried. Remember when He prayed in the garden? "If it be Your will, let this cup pass from me. But not my will, but Yours be done." He knows what it's like to be stressed... and He knows that the response to the uncontrollable is "Thy will be done."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make you paths straight." This passage gives us a couple clear actions. TRUST-- to lay down your burdens. ALL YOUR HEART-- holding back nothing from Him. LEAN NOT-- a negative command. YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING-- don't try to manipulate the situation or rely on your own ideas to solve them. ALL YOUR WAYS-- literally anything that comes in any day. ACKNOWLEDGE HIM-- involve Him in all your struggles, repeatedly calling to mind His truth and His omnipresence and omnipotence. And then, how glorious, the promise: HE WILL MAKE YOUR PATHS STRAIGHT-- He will ensure that you know where to put your foot next and He will do a complete job of preparing what is ahead even if He doesn't show it to us until we are there.

Anyway. God cares about your struggles. He wants you to call on Him. He wants you to choose action steps that glorify Him. He is preparing the way for you according to His will and perfect understanding, even when you can't see it. And talking to Him about the problem is by far more productive than sitting in it, because prayer and reading His Word is a conversation, and by praying you sre exercising humility to place your troubles at His feet. In that humility, you find relief and a stirring to correct action that you wouldn't find by just being your own echo chamber.

So go forth! Do not worry! Choose the good portion! Act in accordance with His will.

[plagueislost]

trying new coloring methods. 0/10 do NOT recommend, but hey at least i got something kinda okay out of it

[sparticus2000art]

It’s my favourite little guy!

Horror sans!

I wanted to go for something a little more moody/spooky but I’m not sure if I quite hit that… the colours look pretty neat at least!

(Please also ignore how long it’s been since I’ve posted/drawn anything…)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Birthday to Fallen London; My favourite British people beefing it with bats simulator.

[papiliomame]

Saw this amazing animation reel by animator Curie Lu and was inspired to do some animation with glowing freckles Danny.

I also made a second version with a special effect on the eyes like in the reference but I'm not sure whether it looks better or worse:

[pigswithwings]

IED:: 'utilize hastily made minor explosive' ; 'chance for great explosion'

[arlo-rose]

Heyyy it’s been a bit, have a big art dump cause I’ve been getting back into traditional art :D (some are smp characters and some are ocs :3)

[lorephobic]

“the class commentary in saltburn was shit” WHAT CLASS COMMENTARY???? NOT EVERY MOVIE WITH RICH PEOPLE HAS TO OR SHOULD HAVE CLASS COMMENTARY. EMERALD FENNELL KNOWS VERY WELL THAT SHE IS NOT THE RIGHT DIRECTOR FOR A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY WHICH IS WHY SHE DID NOT WRITE A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY.

[helianthus21]

i know there were more, ugly reasons for why Daniel kept running away from Armand in qotd but i believe part of it was bc he thought if he left, then maybe Armand would realize he was serious about being angry and hurt that Armand kept refusing to turn him, and also maybe Armand would miss him so much that he'd realize he wanted Daniel around forever actually, and would finally agree to keep him for real. but instead Daniel kept being the first to cave and beg for Armand to take him back.

Meanwhile the running away reinforced the belief in Armand that Daniel just wanted him for his blood and the Dark Gift:')

[taxkha]

The Coolest Defense in the West

[forecast0ctopus]

kirk wip give him a high five. or else

[terrorofthetrident]

i fear the war has aemond neglecting his hair care routine

[johnnyshrine]

★ 131 // “Watercolor Cards”

[maria-taiwin]

It's good to listen Charlie Vickers saying: "But ruling with her (Galadriel) is a step he never would have taken. He could never share this level of power with someone. Maybe she’d have been a figurehead, a mascot for the public, but I don’t believe that, had she said yes, they’d have been king and queen. It would have been him as king and her as his assistant." and that he intended to kill Galadriel when he hurt her with the crown (edit: he intended to kill her after the "the door is shut, go to therapy" scene), because while I terribly know the last trend of creators is to follow the tropes and giving the audience or shippers what they want, it's quite good to still maintain some consistency and the characters being IC.

[cryptocism]

new digs... 2!!!

from chapter 18 of frequency

[snekdood]

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.