Yoga and Meditation | Perfuma x Reader
PLOT: It hasn’t been long since She-ra and her friends saved the world. Even though the fight was over, there was still so much to be done. For example, the buildings and villages that have been torn down, and the people scared to leave their homes because of the Horde. At your village, Perfuma was hosting a mediation class to help those in need.
Warnings: Mentions of PTSD, Slight Angst, Closed-Off Reader
“Okay everyone!” The platinum blonde with the tan skin and freckles spread around her body announced as she clasped her hands together. The princesses decided it was time to give back to the less fortunate villages that were attacked during the war. Today, it was Perfuma’s job to teach yoga and meditation.
The villagers of Trenia looked at her, each of them with different body shapes, sizes, skin colors, and species. It was probably the most diverse village Perfuma has seen in her time of traveling the world.
Y/n, the child of the village’s leaders turned their head toward the princess. They didn’t understand as to why the village was so trusting of the princesses. They were the same people who nearly destroyed their village; not to mention the amount of mental damage they dumped on the people of Trenia.
Perfuma caught eyes with them, tilting her head to the side sweetly as she rested her cheek on her clasped hands. Her eyes shut tightly as she gave the suspecting young adult a kind, closed mouth smile. Y/n had to admit that her happy and comforting demeanor was contagious, but they didn’t have time to trust princesses just because of their kind smiles and cute faces. So, they swallowed their pride, letting out a huff of determination before walking over to the grassy area that was filled with people in workout gear and multi-colored yoga mats.
Perfuma gave Y/n a nod as they sat in the third row, right in the middle, on their favorite colored mat. “Now that we got everyone, we’re going to start by cooling down our bodies, washing our worries away.” She explained, holding her hands behind her back. She caught a couple glimpses of small children and toddlers with stars in their eyes as they watched her. As heartwarming the sight may be to her, she could help but feel an ache in her chest.
Her stomach sinking into a pit, her chest tight and in a knot. She could only imagine what they’ve gone through. Perfume decided not to dwell on the thought long, letting out a small breath. “Lay on your back, starfish position. Close your eyes and have your palms face the sky. Be one with your mat, be one with the ground.”
Y/n rested their elbows on their knees as they sat in criss-cross applesauce, watching what they call family immediately obey and trust the plant princess. Their top lip curled upwards in disgust, seeing the villagers close their eyes and ‘be one with the ground.’ Y/n scoffed, looking forward at the spot Pefuma was standing at just to find it empty. They whipped their head around, looking behind to see the blonde walking around and helping others with their starfish positions.
“Oh, good job!” She whispered to some of the villagers. The young kids would sit up and wave at her, babbling and stuttering over words. Perfuma returned their greetings and excitement with hugs, waves, and ruffles of the hair. The sight was… kinda cute. Anyone you like with babies automatically makes them ten times cuter, not that Y/n liked Perfuma or anything. When Perfuma came towards Y/n’s row, all they did was stare at her expectantly with a cocked eyebrow.
Perfuma smiled, walking towards Y/n. “Hi,” she whispered, crouching down to the floor to be eye to eye with them. “Is everything okay? Why aren’t you laying down?” Y/n let out a chuckle. “You princesses think you’re so smart. I know your secrets, all your tricks too.” They hummed, a coy smile on their lips. The blonde tilted her head to the side confused. “Excuse me? We’re not doing anything—“ “Thats what you want us to believe!” Y/n said with a point of a finger.
“You save the world and expect us to trust you again. Not gonna happen! You betrayed us when we needed you most. You tore down our tents, you hurt the wounded, and took those who were in charge. You took my parents when I needed them most, got them chipped, ruined them.”
Perfuma frowned. She didn’t have to worry what this village went through anymore. “I’m so sorry, my friend—“ “We are not friends.” Argued Y/n, crossing their arms over their chest. Perfume swallowed thickly. “Right, well uhm,” She resumed again, biting her tongue as she scanned her brain for the correct words. Y/n was already on edge with Perfuma just being there. Saying the wrong words may just throw them over the edge.
“I can assure you we are not going to betray your village, young Ternian. When it happened before, those princesses were chipped. It was an awful experience, I agree, but we are trying to patch up what we’ve done and messed up. I promise.”
Keeping their arms crossed over their chest, Y/n scoffed. “I wouldn’t make a promise you can’t keep. You swore to protect the world and ended up being the ones who nearly destroyed it.”
Perfuma took an inhale in attempts to calm down her heated cheeks and what felt like boiling blood. She understood their concern and why they’re being so cold, but, close-minded and harsh too? That left a ding in her heart. All Perfuma is trying to do is have everyone relax, introduce them into a world of mediation and mental strength, but it was so hard to be the calm and collected teacher with Y/n questioning her every movement. It was only the beginning on the class.
Exhaling now, Perfuma stood up, hiding her clenched fist behind her back as she prayed those around couldn’t hear or see what was going on. “Well,” She started, looking down at the Ternian villager. Y/n looked up at the freckled beauty, examining the princess’ expression. Her arched eyebrows rose in annoyance, her lips twisted in a small, barely noticeable scowl. Perfuma looked like she could punch Y/n if she wanted to. Of course she wasn’t, but Y/n was convinced that it was happening.
“If you’re going to be like that, you can leave if you want to. No one is exactly forcing you to stay here and attend my class.” She finished, leaving Y/n alone on their mat without a chance to get a word in. As they watched the princess walk away wearing sage colored legging and a halter top that was her signature pink color, Y/n got that feeling in their chest they’ve previously gotten hearing the news about their parents becoming chipped.
The tightening, what felt like an elephant sitting on their chest, and what felt like a literal heartbreak; all because they couldn’t trust Perfuma. With a deep sigh, they stood up, dusting off their clothes to head back to their place. Maybe they’ll apologize to the princess later, but for now, they just wanted their own space.
WC: 1,135
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Rewatching some Star Trek: Enterprise
3x19 ( “Damage”)
This is one of my favorites of the season, and a hugely important episode for T’Pol. T’Pol has to deal with the damage her addiction has wrought upon her life, her ship, and her relationships. Her addiction is finally revealed, and we see her hitting rock bottom after the catastrophe of last episode.
I have an old analysis of much of this episode, along with the starting point of T’Pol’s arc (3x05 - Impulse) and various key moments along the way. Check it out here if you’re interested in a big-picture look at T’Pol’s addiction arc. I’ll try not to cover too much of the same ground.
The interesting thing for me as a shipper is how much of T’Pol’s emotional struggles are centered around Archer. Her most extreme reactions have been reserved for Archer. And we find out this episode that the initial cause of her experimentation and desire for increased emotionality lie in her experiences (with Archer) in “Impulse.”
T’Pol is fortunate to survive at the beginning. She showed no sign she was about to take action or make a decision. Without the Reptilian Xindi being restrained by the Council, the ship was destroyed. Or at least captured.
Even as she gets briefed on the damage by Reed, in the wake of the consequences of her addiction, T’Pol mind is on getting her next fix.
REED: The comm. system's still down. We don't have a complete casualty list yet. So far the news isn't good. Five people are confirmed dead, a dozen wounded. Most of the hull breaches have been contained with emergency bulkheads.
T'POL: What about Cargo Bay two?
T’Pol is deteriorating. She is pulling people from repairing essential systems to get into Cargo Bay 2 and get a fix. She lies about necessary components for repair.
Archer returns! He is not happy at the damage and the casualties. 14 confirmed dead.
T’Pol gives Archer a damage report. T’Pol’s hand shakes as she helps Archer, showing her withdrawals.
T'POL: Do you have any idea why they released you?
ARCHER: I think I may have gotten through to one of them. Degra.
(T'Pol hands him a towel. Her hand is shaking so he holds it.)
ARCHER: Thanks. Are you all right?
That was a very intimate hand clasp. Archer shows concern... she shows visible fear at being noticed. She basically runs from the infirmary.
T’Pol’s kaleidoscope journey down the corridor, half-hallucination and half fever-dream.
Nice Hoshi and Travis scene. Hoshi is showing some serious regrets and despair, and Travis tries to comfort her with earnest optimism.
T’Pol’s having a sexual nightmare featuring Trip. At first it’s fine, even when she increases her aggressiveness. But soon she is acting too aggressive, hurting Trip. She transforms into a Vombie, a Trellium-deranged Vulcan like she encountered in “Impulse.”
She had a dream about being attacked by Vombies at the end of “Impulse,” making the dreams sort of bookends for her addiction arc. It has been a fear since last season, turning into one of those creatures. In the dream she tries to kill Trip, throttling him.
T’Pol desperately tries to reach some Trellium just to get normal. She nearly dies trying to get to Cargo Bay 2, but even that doesn’t seem to convince her to get help. Though she is clearly disturbed by her actions and how much she is spiraling, at this point she seems satisfied getting her fix. The joy and relief on her face when she finds some Trellium is sad.
Hoshi discovers that Degra is trying to communicate with them, and then T’Pol finds a secret message encoded into the clue.
HOSHI: I've gone through the databanks. Just your standard navigational operational files, but I did find one document. An engineer asking his supervisors for additional parts. Here's a translation.
ARCHER: The names of these supervisors. Piral, Jaina, Trenia.
HOSHI: The names of Degra's children.
Degra wants to meet with them, but will only wait three days before moving forward. They need warp power, there’s no other way.
Great Phlox and Archer scene where they talk around Archer’s decision.
ARCHER: How long have you been a doctor?
PHLOX: Nearly forty years.
ARCHER: And in all that time, did you ever do anything you thought was unethical?
PHLOX: Twice. Why?
ARCHER: I'm about to step over a line, a line I thought I would never cross.
T’Pol fights Archer hard against raiding the other ship, following him into his ready room against his wishes. Things get so heated that Archer makes a point to close the door manually, so the rest of the crew don’t hear them clearly.
T'POL: We are no different than the marauders who attacked us when we entered the Expanse.
ARCHER: We're a lot different.
T'POL: By stealing their warp coil we could be condemning them to death.
ARCHER: We're going to leave them a supply of trellium, along with some extra food. I'm not saying it'll be easy for them, but they'll stand a decent chance of making it home.
T'POL: You're forgetting that we're in a dangerous region of space. Our assault could cripple their ability to defend themselves.
ARCHER: Not if we do it right.
T'POL: And what if something goes wrong!?
ARCHER: We can debate this all day. I've made my decision.
T'POL: We can't save humanity without holding on to what makes us human. Those were your words to me.
ARCHER: I'm no happier doing this than you are, but we're not going to make a habit of it.
“’We can’t save humanity without holding on to what makes us human.’ Those were your words to me.” Her voice breaks, or wavers, when she says the last part, especially “to me.” Those were his words (slightly modified) when she suggested that he leave her behind after the events of “Impulse.” This scene:
It’s interesting that she brings up that scene and that line, since she later points to the events of the Seleya and immediately after as being the emotional reactions that she “wanted more” of and that inspired her to start taking trellium voluntarily.
That scene and its importance to T’Pol also could add another layer to why she is so ashamed about her addiction. Archer chose T’Pol’s safety and continued presence over the most efficient and protected course through the Expanse. The ship and crew encountered numerous issues because of the lack of trellium protection, yet she was infecting herself anyway. .
She also shifts the line slightly. Maybe it’s nothing, but in its original form Archer is speaking in the first person. “I can’t save humanity without holding on to what makes me human.” It would be easy to keep it like that or change it to second person, but she instead chose “we.” Is she including herself in his declaration? I’d love to hear more from T’Pol about her “humanity.”
This line and this moment seems to have become very important to T’Pol, a defining and constraining statement for their mission. This perhaps explains the intensity of her reaction after she feels he betrays that moment, as well as why it’s that loss of control that compelled her to seek help. That moment and not any of the things before (the emotional breakdown over Archer’s seeming death, the damage to the ship and loss of life, the disturbing and violent dreams, the withdrawals, or nearly dying).
The impetus for both her decisions, to start and to stop taking trellium, lay with emotional reactions with Archer. During “Impulse,” after he engaged with her the way she had expected since they entered the Expanse, making her feel needed, trusted, and valued. During “Damage,” after she makes a reference to that same scene, has an outburst, and he finally draws attention to her behavior.
T'POL: Once you rationalise the first mis-step, it's easy to fall into a pattern of behaviour.
ARCHER: I'm not rationalising anything. I know full well what I'm doing.
T'POL: I can't justify this course of action.
ARCHER: We don't have a choice.
T'POL: I won't let you do it!
(She smashes her PADD against the edge of his deck.)
After her exclamation and breaking her PADD, T’Pol can’t look Archer in the eyes. She tries and fails a couple of times. She knows that she has exposed herself. She has so crossed the line of emotionality, so gone outside her normal behavior, that he has to ask. And she has to answer.
ARCHER: We've had our share of disagreements, but you've never taken it out on my desk before.
T'POL: I apologise.
ARCHER: What's happening to you?
T'POL: It's been a difficult few days. I haven't had the time to meditate.
ARCHER: Maybe you should find the time.
When he asks “What’s happening to you?” T’Pol visibly flinches, but then she finally looks into his eyes.
The look she gives him is so complex… full of desperation, fear, shame, and gratitude. One of Jolene’s greatest acting moments. She’s happy and terrified he noticed how compromised she has become, and for a moment it looks like she is going to confess the truth. Ultimately she lies and covers, but I think this is the moment that convinces her to seek treatment. The outburst, the direct question from Archer, the lies… that’s her rock bottom.
T'POL: I didn't mean what I said.
ARCHER: I'm glad to hear it. I'll be leading the boarding party. There's no margin for error. If we don't do this right, people are going to die. We need you on the Bridge.
Another parallel with “Impulse” in this scene is the way Archer creates a tactile connection by grasping her shoulders:
Again the affirmation that Archer needs her is a major touchstone and theme. After hitting rock bottom, but also after getting affirmation she needed, she seeks treatment the very next scene.
T'POL: When I was exposed to trellium aboard the Seleya, it affected me in a way that I wasn’t prepared for.
PHLOX: As I recall, you were homicidal and paranoid.
T'POL: The initial effects were overwhelming, but as they began to wear off I discovered I was able to access certain emotions. I wanted more. I began to experiment by ingesting small amounts of trellium. I devised a way to inject it into my bloodstream.
PHLOX: You must have known it was dangerous. Trellium exposure is deadly to Vulcans. It eats away at the neural pathways.
T'POL: I thought, in small amounts, it would be safe. At first, I was able to control the new emotions. My interactions with the crew improved.
PHLOX: Commander Tucker, for example. When did you realize you were becoming addicted?
T'POL: Two days ago. The damage to E deck made it impossible to access the cargo bay. I began experiencing agitation, anxiety, withdrawal symptoms.
PHLOX: You're not experiencing them now.
T'POL: I was able to retrieve the trellium. I was almost killed in the process.
Interesting that Phlox sort of rolls his eyes at her dalliance with Tucker.
PHLOX: You should remain here for observation.
T'POL: The Captain needs me. I have to go.
PHLOX: I expect you to report back here at the first sign of trouble.
T'POL: Are you going to discuss this with the Captain?
PHLOX: This is between you and your doctor.
The captain need her, she has to go. She doesn’t want the Captain to know how far she fell.
When T’Pol arrives on the bridge, she wishes Archer good luck. She wants him to know again that she didn’t mean what she said earlier.
Then they do the operation. It’s sad… but for T’Pol it’s a moment of validation. Again the Enterprise is taking damage, potentially fatal, and T’Pol has the bridge. Unlike last episode, frozen in fear, now she is able to process the situation and formulate a plan. She saves the day!
We get a scene of T’Pol and Phlox in her room. Very sweet, I love their dynamic.
T'POL: I'm not sure why I asked you to come see me.
PHLOX: Perhaps you just needed some company.
Phlox is very wise.
PHLOX: Then you'll learn to cope with [residual emotions].
T'POL: I'm not certain I'll be able to. I'm-
PHLOX: Afraid?
T'POL: Vulcans don't experience fear.
PHLOX: You sought these emotions. Don't expect them to vanish overnight. Patience.
We get a final scene with Archer and Trip. It’s fine and is a good processing and bonding moment for both, but it’s more generic than the Phlox/T’Pol scene. They should have been swapped. I mean, this is T’Pol’s episode all the way.
Screencaps: https://ent.trekcore.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=123 (and some of my own)
Transcript: http://www.chakoteya.net/Enterprise/71.htm
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