#U ALMOST MADE ME CRY TEARS OF JOY

[cr4yolaas]

second best — iwaizumi hajime

part 2 here !

notes: based off of second best by laufey <3 hope u enjoy!

tags: fluff → angst, timeskip, insecurity / jealousy (reader), losing feelings (iwaizumi), swearing, best friend oikawa, arguments / yelling, iwaizumi is mean and delusional

it was a tuesday. school had ended a handful of hours ago, and you had no homework. the sun was setting quicker than it regularly did, coating your bedroom in a warm gold and casting rays of light upon your shoulders. hajime sat beside you, his laptop propped up on your table.

he bit his nails frantically (a habit you had always scolded him for) and repeatedly reloaded the page. “why won’t it just load…” he groaned, his brows furrowed and a scowl embedded on his lips. albeit his angered expression, he was more frightened than anything. that you knew.

“be patient, haji. you’re gonna break the keys,” you quipped, despite being just as anxious as him.

a new screen appeared with the eighty ninth refresh. in bold letters, congratulations! splayed itself onto hajime’s laptop, followed by an unnecessarily long message detailing his next steps. before you could react, the boy had thrown himself onto you, his arms tightening around your frame as he sobbed uncontrollably. his joy radiated.

“you- you did it!” you exclaimed, returning his hug. you nearly laughed at his face — tear-soaked, distraught, a far cry from the stoicism he wore. “i’m so proud of you, haji.”

he stumbled over his words as he struggled to regain his composure. the amalgamation of emotion was evident on his features; glee engraved itself on his cheeks, shock poured out of his eyes, excitement spilled from the cracks between his teeth. not once did he let go of you, as if fearful that he would face a different reality if he did so. “i know i’m going to be super far away, but- but promise me you’ll wait for me. please.” hajime held both of your hands in his. “i’ll make you proud, and then i’ll come back. okay?”

you beamed at him. “okay. i promise.”

hajime’s head rested on your shoulder, his grip on his store-bought onigiri loose — a tell-tale sign of his exhaustion.

the large LED clock on the wall read 5 am. he had stressed that he get to the airport as early as possible, seemingly prepared for the journey, and yet, here he lay, slumped against a plastic chair.

you took the food out of his hand and packed it into his carry-on, careful not to disturb his rest. he arose regardless. “shit,” he mumbled, clearly riddled with sleep. “what time is it?”

“you still have two hours until your flight, hajime,” you laughed. “relax. i wouldn’t let you be late.”

he muttered a lighthearted insult that didn’t quite make sense and leaned against you once more. a warm silence washed over you both before he spoke again. “i’m scared,” he whispered.

you didn’t look at him, in fear that you would get too emotional. instead, you fidgeted with his hand, your thumb ghosting over his calloused skin. “scared of what?”

“everything.”

“you know that’s not an answer, dumbass.”

he sighed. “i’m going to be leaving you all alone. not just you, but everyone i know. everything i know. and, who knows — what if things don’t go as planned?”

you hummed softly before responding, “that’s how growth is, haji. if you stay here, it’s unlikely that you’ll reach anything new. but if you go there — the college you’ve been dreaming about for ages — you’ll find new heights to reach. and i’ll be here for all of it. well, not physically, but you understand.”

hajime began to tremble against you. muffled cries escaped his lips, his grip on your hand tightening as the announcement for him to depart rung over the speakers. “i’m sorry, my love. i’ll come back for you, pinky promise.”

you finally looked at him — a mistake on your part. his anguish made your heart ache, and you began to mirror him almost instantly.

you helped him stand up and carry his bags to the line before placing a delicate kiss to his lips. “be safe, ha-“

hajime pulled you towards him and pressed his lips to yours, however, with far more desperation. the thud of his bag against the floor seemed to echo as his hands gripped your sides. he pulled away, his face comically tearful, before muttering an “i love you” against your forehead.

you waved him off as he boarded the plane, your heart sinking to the depths of your lungs, restricting your ability to breathe as you started to sob into your arms.

“so, this is my dorm…” a deep voice rung out from your phone. “all of my roommates are out right now, so i have the whole place to myself. anyways, look- i brought some of our polaroids and hung them above my desk.” hajime flipped his camera and slowly panned it across his wall, demonstrating various photographs hanging from a shelf.

“it’s super cute, haji. what else is there?”

he continued to show you around the living area and the kitchen, his excitement evident despite your inability to actually see his face.

while it was the midst of a bright afternoon where he was, sleep was creeping up on you, as you had stayed up late into the night to wait for this call. it had been several months since he had officially begun classes at UCI, but adjusting was reasonably difficult, giving him no time to sufficiently update you. but now, he had carved a little space into his schedule to “spend time with you” (as he called it).

“oh, by the way — i ran into ushijima wakatoshi here, y’know, the really tall one from shiratorizawa. it was pretty interesting. i didn’t really expect to see him there.” he continued to ramble on while you listened as intently as you could with your phone propped up on your table. your eyes were growing heavier, the words fading in and out. hajime’s exclamation roused you from your near slumber. “wait, it’s super late there right now, isn’t it? i’m so sorry, baby, i completely forgot. you’re probably really tired. umm, i’m not sure if i have time to call you tomorrow, but i’ll try my best.”

you mumbled softly, “it’s alright, i think i’m busy tomorrow anyways. i’ll see you soon.”

hajime smiled. “yes, i’ll see you soon.”

over the next couple of months, hajime had made time to keep in contact with you — between classes, during his part-time job, as he ate dinner — he was always sure to integrate you into his schedule.

you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little anxious.

oikawa laid across your bedroom floor, his glare etching holes into the ceiling. “he’s head-over-heels for you. i’m being serious! he has absolutely no reason to cheat, or anything of the sort. and if he did, i’d beat him up, obviously.” he spoke dramatically, as if what he was stating was common sense. and yet, you still found yourself worrisome.

“i guess, but- i’m sure it’s exhausting for him. he already works hard enough, so i can’t imagine how it is trying to balance his life over there with our relationship.” the brunette groaned at your fretting and launched himself up, his face now pointed towards yours.

his brows were tightly knit as he ranted, “if you were him, you would do anything you could to keep the relationship alive, wouldn’t you? because you’re so painstakingly, heartbreakingly, devastatingly in love with him, right? well, i’m telling you that’s what he’s doing right now! get your head on straight. you two were like, meant to be! so enough of your yapping!” despite his feigned anger, oikawa couldn’t wrap his head around your insecurities. did you not see how smitten hajime was? how, when your name was so much as mentioned in conversation, he became the liveliest person in the room, akin to a child talking about their favorite show? none of that changed, regardless of the distance. he wished you realized that.

you frowned. “sorry, i just- ugh.” you groaned into your palms, exasperated with your own worries. “it’s so stupid. i feel so stupid.”

your friend’s demeanor switched, and instead of aggressively reassuring you, he rubbed a gentle hand over your back. “he’s so, so, so in love with you. i promise.”

a month after that interaction, oikawa asked you to hang out with him — supposedly, the plan was to watch a movie since “no one else wanted to watch it with him,” and eat right after. however, this was not the road to the theater.

“tell me where we’re going, or i’m going to call the police on you for kidnapping me,” you half-joked.

“no!! it’s a surprise — and if i were really kidnapping you, would i let you keep your phone?”

feeding into your concerns, oikawa pulled into the airport parking lot, his movement growing increasingly frantic. “hurry!” he shouted at you while pulling you through the crowd.

at last, he stopped before a gate, the bold arrivals sign hanging above you both. “just wait,” he spoke, his eagerness clear.

as if on cue, a strong pair of arms wrapped themselves around you both, rendering you short-breathed. “haji?” you spoke on instinct.

“i- i’m home. i’m home, guys.” he beamed up at both of you with a smile that you had longed to see for what felt like centuries. oikawa was cast to the side as hajime threw himself onto you, seemingly unaware of the click of his friend’s camera from just a few feet away. “i missed you so much, baby, you don’t understand.” he peppered kisses across your face, painting you with a longing so heavy it weighed your whole body down.

“i missed you too, haji.”

oikawa drove you both to your apartment before leaving a gift for hajime and a smile for you. the moon sung into the wind and left you shivering, resulting in your boyfriend ushering you into the house.

“i didn’t prepare anything, i’m sorry,” you ranted. “oikawa didn’t tell me — he told me we were going to the movies. what a liar. i was kind of excited for it too.”

hajime laughed before walking around your home. he seemed to inspect every corner with a heart full of love and a face drenched with yearning, his dried fingertips ghosting over the furniture. “it’s so cozy in here. when did you move in?”

you hummed while looking into the pantry. “after my first year, they allowed me to live off campus. it’s really convenient. i’d say it’s like, a five minute walk to the station?” as you rambled, hajime wrapped his arms around you once more. “hey, i’m making you dinner. you didn’t eat yet, right?” he shook his head against your neck.

“i really, really, missed you,” he whispered against your skin before pulling away. “what are you making?”

you smiled up at him, a sight he had been waiting to see in person. “your favorite, of course.”

hajime told you he’d be over for the next month, as he was on spring break. the first week was spent celebrating with his friends and family — to begin, a party with his former team spent at a local restaurant.

“so,” oikawa begun, his face dusted pink as he held a bottle in his hand. “what have you been up to while you left us, iwa-chan?” the nickname made the man grimace, the memories it carried making him cringe. nonetheless, he continued.

“well, i’ve been training under this one trainer i’ve always looked up to. he’s taught me quite a bit, and i’m learning a lot every day. he works with the university’s varsity team, which is super awesome, and he used to play here in japan,” hajime ranted. “and i even met ushiwaka — super crazy, i know. it was like he was following me. oh, and- i’ve also met a few people there from my classes there that are super cool. look.” he pulled out his phone and showed a picture to the table, featuring him amongst a small group of friends. within them, one stood out the most. matsukawa was the first to call it out.

“holy shit, who’s that? the one on the right? she’s so pretty,” he spoke with slurred words, his face burning up with alcohol. the rest of the table leaned in to get a good view, murmurs of agreement ringing about. hajime looked beside him to see you stagnant, a slight furrow to your brow and an uncomfortable expression etched onto your face. he thumbed your hand under the table as if to provide you with solace.

“she’s in the same major as me, and she also came from japan. we met during class, and she introduced me to her friend group. it’s pretty cool, though — supposedly, she’s an understudy for an international team’s trainer,” he explained, noises of awe washing over the group. your face only grew more bitter.

you knew it was foolish to be jealous over something so minuscule. he was allowed to have friends — you weren’t so selfish as to rob him of that. but knowing that he was in the presence of someone so much greater than you made your head ache more than you had hoped. seeing him praise her so openly was akin to him piercing your ribcage. it was childish. you dared not to express such feelings to him.

when you got home, hajime splayed himself onto your bed without changing, his hand subconsciously gripping onto the hem of your sleeve as he drifted into sleep. you did not close your eyes as swiftly.

instead, you sat up, tracing the features on your boyfriend’s face and observing each intricacy. you did not want to lose this — to lose him. to think of such a thing frightened you; to experience it would be far worse. but would you blame him, if he chose the lustrous world across the sea over the dull life you presented to him?

you decided that you wouldn’t, for you knew the answer deep down.

“hajime,” you began. you poked at your food apprehensively. “you’re leaving next week, right?”

he swallowed a large bite before responding, “mm, yeah, possibly.”

“possibly?”

“well- you know the girl from my group at college? the one i showed you all at the dinner table. she’s been offered to attend an actual game with the coach that’s training her and asked if i wanted to come along. i think it’s a super great opportunity,” he explained with a careless tone about him. contrary to that, you were coated with dread.

your movements halted altogether. “…yes, that’s a wonderful opportunity hajime! it’s just-“ you stumbled over your speech, fearful of saying the wrong thing. you promised yourself not to be childish, and yet, you longed to be selfish just a little longer. “can you really not stay any longer?”

hajime sighed, and your chest ached with guilt. “i could, but- you know this is a chance that doesn’t come by very often, if at all. this could be the step that brings me to where i need to be.”

you picked at the skin of your fingers under the table. he was right. you knew he was. but it hurt to witness it; to witness him willingly choose another thing over you.

your greed got the best of you. “haji, you told me to wait for you. i waited for so, so long. but it feels like- it just feels like all that waiting was for nothing. it feels like you’re slipping out of my fingers already.” he groaned softly, just barely enough for you to hear, and ran a hear through his hair. “i’m sorry, i know it’s selfish, but can’t you just- why not stay a little longer? please?”

he carried his dishes to the sink, a heavy air hanging around him. “if you know it’s selfish, why do you keep pushing for it? you know this is something beyond important to me. i worked so hard to get here, to get so close to my dream. i don’t understand why i should turn down something that could very well be the turning point.”

you followed suit, desperate to mend the conversation you started. he was growing irritated, and it terrified you. you wished not to say anything too abrasive, but he seemingly did not have that restraint. “i’m not telling you to turn it down, haji. i just want to spend a little more time with you before i can’t have you for another- i don’t know, another year? maybe more? i- i’m sorry, i just-“

“stop. just- stop. i know you’re upset, but i need you to understand that i’d be even more upset if i missed this opportunity. why don’t you get it?”

“i do get it, i promise, but-“

“then act like it! because to me, it just seems like you don’t want me to go at all! if it were any other person than her who invited me, you wouldn’t have said anything! but because you’re so goddamned selfish, you keep fighting to keep me here, even though you’re the one who told me going overseas was the best thing i could do for myself! you- fuck! you told me this was how i’d reach new heights. and i’m showing you that i’m getting there, and i’m trying so hard to become someone you can be proud of, that everyone can be proud of, and it just feels like you’re shutting all of that down!” white-hot tears were flowing from his eyes as he yelled, his consciousness not picking up on your protective stance and your own tear-drenched cheeks and the apologies spilling from your lips. “fuck- i’m gonna pack my shit now. i’m sorry i yelled, but i’m leaving tomorrow. goodnight.”

you could not process him leaving for the bedroom door behind you, and you could not process the shutting of the door and the shuffling of his belongings. all you could do was fall to the floor and curl in on yourself, ashamed for creating the commotion you swore not to stir.

when you awoke the next morning, the other side of the bed was cold and folded neatly. the house was empty.

you stumbled out into the kitchen, looking around for any remnant of hajime — a note, a picture, a gift, anything, only to turn up empty-handed and instead bearing a pained heart. “haji?” you mumbled into the air with a watery voice. “haji, where are you?”

your body knew of his whereabouts before your mind did, causing you to kneel to the ground and sob. your whimpers were reminiscent of a dog crying for its owner, or a child whining for its parent.

he had left without so much as a goodbye. perhaps if you had been less demanding, less adamant that he stay just a little bit longer with you, he would have kissed you at his departure or left you something to remember him with. but the house was empty, just as it was before he arrived.

on the morning of his departure, long before the sun had crawled up onto the horizon, hajime went to oikawa’s place. he knocked on the door thrice before a disheveled man let him in. hajime apologized for his intrusion.

“why do you have your bags? why are you leaving so soon?” oikawa interrogated his friend before he could speak.

the other man scratched the back of his neck. “well, uh, i’m leaving early. that girl from my college, she offered to bring me with her to a training experience with her coach. i really wanna go.”

“what?” oikawa exclaimed dramatically, his eyes bulging out of his head. “did you- did you even explain this to them? what did they say?”

“i think i worded it wrong… they didn’t take very, uh, kindly to it, i guess. well- no, wait, they did, but i think i responded wrong. i just- i don’t know.”

the brunette scoffed before pacing around the living room with a burst of energy. “god, reasonably so! if i were them, hearing that you were ditching me for the person you haven’t stopped talking about this whole damn visit, i’d be furious! are you- are you insane?”

hajime shot up from his seat defensively. he looked at his friend with exasperation. “look, do you realize how important this is to me? why wouldn’t i go?” in response, oikawa stopped in his pacing. he rubbed his forehead in irritation, his gaze fixated to the floor.

“iwaizumi,” he spoke sternly. the formal tone brought the man to a halt. “you have to be honest with yourself. you haven’t seen your lover in like, forever, and you’re leaving them behind once again for a girl who just so happens to have connections-“

“connections that could get me places!”

“shut up! let me finish!” oikawa slammed his hands onto the table. “you have been lying to them this whole trip. they have been so kind as to wait for you, no matter how long it’d take. they stayed up night after night to call you and make sure you were doing well, to make sure you had eaten, to make sure you were still there. but you come here, and to me, it seems that all you want is what’s over there. i know these goals are important to you, and that you want to achieve them more anything. but have you never considered that maybe, just maybe, your own partner has been longing for you just as much?”

hajime could only scoff, so blinded by his aspirations that he could not bear to absorb oikawa’s words. “it’s selfish.”

“then maybe you should just leave. it’d be far more heartbreaking for them to stick with someone who can’t even appreciate them to an equal degree.”

weeks after his disappearance, hajime had yet to speak to you. he no longer called nor texted. evidently, you were an obstacle to his desires.

however, after a drunk night spent with oikawa, you received a text from his contact — one you couldn’t bear to delete.

can we call?

you scrambled up from the couch, oikawa jolting at your action. “what? what is it?” he peered over at the message, and in an instant, dread displayed itself onto his face. “are you gonna answer?”

you knew it’d be stupid to do so — he had left you without a word for dreams that were greater than you, and left you to pick up the pieces of a relationship that had consumed your very being for so long. but it was undeniably tempting.

after long deliberation, you nodded and opened the notification. oikawa watched anxiously.

“hello? this is, um- is this-”

“yes. it’s me,” you answered shakily. silently, you put the call on speaker.

“oh, great! i mean, uh- okay, hold on.” you could hear him breathe in before speaking again. “i know it was horribly wrong of me to leave without any contact. i just wanted to apologize for that, for everything. for not giving you what you deserved and needed at the time. i just- can we just talk for a bit?”

you slumped back onto the couch and oikawa followed after you. you weren’t in the right state of mind — the copious amount of alcohol you drank clouded your functionality, and yet, you knew that this chance wouldn’t ever come by again — it was foolish. “of course,” you responded. “how have you been?”

you both listened half-intently as he rambled on about his current life — how he was now working with a new coach, how he was getting closer to graduating, how he was planning on going to the japan national team as soon as he got the chance. he failed to leave out the mention of his girlfriend — his new girlfriend — thus exposing him and leaving you distraught.

stupidly, you were not angry. he seemed so excited; he was building a life that seemed to be getting better every day. who were you to oppose that? oikawa shook his head disapprovingly at your lack of response.

“anyways, um, how are you?” hajime asked. he sounded so youthful — it hurt far more than it should have.

you struggled to swallow your tears as you spoke. “i- i’m doing okay. i just, uh, got a new job, ‘nd i- sorry, i’m-“

his concern hurt more than anything. “are you alright? is everything okay?”

“i’m sorry, it’s- it’s really late here right now, and i’m exhausted. can we, um- can we speak another time?” you sniffled through your words, desperately hanging onto the last bits of a conversation you knew you were not strong enough to withstand.

“oh, okay, sure. sorry to bother you so late in the night. and, um, i… i’m sorry. for everything. really, i am. uh, sleep well.” he hung up before you could say anything more, leaving you to sob in oikawa’s arms as he unleashed a handful of tears himself, as if sharing your anguish.

to you, iwaizumi hajime was everything. to him, you were too far behind to keep up — you were his second best.

[sonotkari]

Saturn

Hanni Pham x Fem Reader

[ Synopsis ]

Listening to Saturn by Sza has made you think about many things since your last (not-so) relationship, and Hanni is on your side, listening to you yapping your thoughts.

Fluff, Angst, and a tiny bit of cursing :)

[ Word Count ]

1.5k yes it's very very short :(

[ a/n ]

I've been listening to a lot of songs lately and the idea just popped out when I was listening to Sza! It's really cheesy like, really, might be too tacky but oh well :P My first time writing this kind of stuff so it's a mess but do please take it easy on me guys /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ (i suck at writing honestly)

I hope someone out there likes it dis for u bae <3

You've spent your entire year, loving someone. As the "giving it all" type of persona when it comes to relationships even when it's as small as a crush, you really gave it your all. Praising them the chance you got to, making sure to spend lots of quality time together, presenting gifts for no particular reason just because you enjoyed seeing the smile that appeared on their face with the cute little dimple on their cheeks which was one of the many things you liked- no, loved about them.

But maybe it was a little too much or perhaps it was something else. You eventually got tired of pursuing them after a year. Feeling more and more drained as the days passed and feeling that both of your distances hadn't moved an inch, you were debating a lot with yourself. Mixed signals were everywhere but you just couldn't let them go that easily. Like you were stuck in quicksand, trying to get out of it but as you do, you just sink in deeper. Might as well let it sink in and disappear. 

That was all a year ago, and you were now outside by the beach. Sat by the white sand as you admired how beautiful the waves were even at nighttime. Saturn by Sza was playing on your headphones as you looked up at the dark sky, admiring the little stars you could barely see while the sound of waves was also in the background with the music. 

If Karma's really real

How am I still here? 

Just seems so unfair 

I could be wrong tho

If there's a point to being good

Then where's my reward?

The good die young and poor

I gave it all I could 

The lyrics hit you hard, earning a bit of a chest pain as you couldn't relate to it more than ever. All the fun memories you had together flooded your mind as you listened to the music. Going to dates where she mostly wanted to go, having late-night calls and talking about almost everything that was going on with your life to each other, all the stupid jokes and the bickering where your friends couldn't take it anymore and the two of you would just laugh it all off.

You had to lose it all. Sometimes you wonder if you've made the wrong decision to let go. Regret washes your entire mind and soul as your tears start flowing non-stop every midnight, reminding you of all of the beautiful memories you just had to trash out because of the choice you made. But as much as you felt all the joy and the happiness of the world when you were with her, it began to change into pain. Pain that you wouldn't have imagined stinging so much that you eventually had to make a choice to let go and leave. 

Taking a big deep breath, you felt someone's presence come and sit beside you. You smile softly at her as you take off your headphones, letting them hang on your neck for a while as you can hear small music leaking from them. 

"What are you doing here at this time?" 

"Just admiring the view while having some fresh air" 

"You sound like a romantic" 

Hanni snorted a bit as she looked at the view in front of her. The small cold breeze hits both of you smelling a hint of sea salt passing by as well.

"I thought you were crying again" 

"Stop reminding me, it's embarrassing" 

You laugh a bit at what Hanni had just said and remember the time when she decided to crash into your apartment with snacks in her hand but instead caught you crying in your room alone with crumpled tissues scattered everywhere. You were a total mess at that time and the image still creeps into your mind, sending a shiver and an uneasy wave of embarrassment down your spine every time you remember them. 

"I was thinking of her, though..." 

Thoughts linger on about her once again as you start to daze off from the beach view. 

What if I didn't let go of her? Would we still be talking, laughing at each other like we always do, or would I be in a crying mess again? 

We used to joke around, laughing non-stop at almost everything, now all I do is cry non-stop instead. I sometimes wonder, if I had enough courage in me and talked about my feelings about her, we might've done something about it together.

 I wonder if she thinks about me like I do. Has she ever cried about me? I feel bad if I ever made her cry. Not like I can do something about it now. 

I wish I could, but I think it'll just hurt me again. Because I'll be giving her my all again and I'll be stuck in a loop then. 

You snapped out when you finally noticed you were rambling your thoughts to Hanni without even noticing. 

"Sorry..." 

"Don't be"

Hanni shifted her gaze, locking them at yours as she smiled warmly. You would always feel reassured every time you see that smile of hers. Perfectly warm for a cold breezy night. You could see the stars clearly by now and the moon peaking from the thin clouds, the light shimmering as it reflects on the surface of the water, and a bit of music that's still playing from your headphones, going to the end of the chorus. 

Find something worth saving 

It's all for the taking 

I always say 

I'll be better on Saturn 

None of this matters 

Dreaming of Saturn 

You listen to the lyrics and think if it'd be actually nice on Saturn. Even if it wasn't as far as Saturn, just somewhere you could ease your mind without all the lingering thoughts that wrapped you around like a thorned bush, pricking your soul. 

"Saturn sounds nice" 

The girl stares at you with a hint of confusion in her eyes as you suddenly, out of the blue, talk about planets. 

"I'm so fucked up on this planet, might as well just go to Saturn you know?" 

You never know, being in Saturn might be better than you think. Far away from the problems you've left behind, no one chasing you down for it. I'll make Saturn a place where I could rest from heart, just carefree and mindless. No more pain or hurt. Just focusing on myself and the future ahead of me. I bet I could make the best planet in the universe if NASA would let me. Well, that would be valid if we could "land" on Saturn in the first place without burning and melting ourselves. 

You outed a chuckle as you yapped your thoughts of Saturn to Hanni and the girl couldn't help but laugh lightly at your sudden plans about making the "best planet in the universe" 

But deep down, you knew that even when you'd send yourself off to Saturn or even as far away as Neptune, you'd somehow think about the girl just like how you've been lingering your thoughts on her on a random night at the beach. You take a deep breath, stopping thinking about it for once when you hear her speak up in a quiet mumble. 

"I'll be your Saturn." 

It was your turn to look at the girl with confusion and surprise. Your eyes met once again as she showed that warm smile with a soft chuckle. 

"Sorry, that just sounded cheesy way more than I imagined"

Your thoughts wander again. 

Hanni had been with you from your first-ever crush to your first-ever relationship (even when it was complicated as hell) till your heartbreaking moments. She was the one who you'd open up to when it came to opinions and bits of advice, she's the one you'd tell firsthand about every exciting thing that happened to your life, the one you'd update even when it was 3 am early in the morning, and her shoulders were the ones you cried and leaned on when your heart was shattered to pieces.

Being with Hanni allowed you to be idiotic, to be yourself. No matter how bad the situations were or how stupid things could get when with her, you could just laugh it all off and be carefree. You'd forget all your worries and problems, and the time with her would fly so fast. You remember way back then, you'd repeatedly ask Hanni's mom if she could stay a bit longer. You feel all the comfort you need when you're with her. 

"You already are"  

Her facial expression turned into a surprised one as she heard your response. The music leaking from your headphones had finally come to an end, only the sound of waves in the background left as you gave back the warm smile she always wears to reassure you, letting you forget all the problems and weight on your shoulders. 

"You are my Saturn" 

After some time of staring at each other, the long comforting silence soon ended with soft giggles and laughs as you and Hanni looked back at the ocean view with the golden moon and diamond stars shining their way making everything a perfect picture. 

"You were right... that did sound cheesy than I imagined" 

no way I just fucking finished this wait what

[sanemistar]

Heyyy could u write for what Sanemi would put in his wedding vows for his hashira s/o when they get married a year after the final battle?

୨୧ a/n: i made it gn!reader since you only said s/o, so i hope you have no issues with that and enjoy reading <3

୨୧ wc: 0.5k

୨୧ warning: has manga spoilers

a lot of things have changed ever since the final battle ended. the demon slayer corps has disbanded, with you, sanemi, and giyuu as the only remaining hashiras who have survived to live in a world without demons. it's been a hard time for all of you, but together you've managed to move on and heal.

fast forward to a year after, and it's your wedding day. you're finally getting married to your boyfriend, sanemi. you can't help but feel nervous and excited, it's the biggest moment of your life. you're done with everything, taking one last look at yourself in the mirror as you prepare yourself to go out and meet your soon-to-be husband and everyone.

the moment you walk down the aisle, sanemi is completely mesmerized by your beauty. his eyes are locked onto yours, never daring to look away for even a second. your heart is beating at an insane speed to the point where you can feel it almost bursting out of your ribcage with each step you take closer to your groom.

"you look so freakin' beautiful." is the first thing he whispers into your ear the moment you're finally right across from him, his hot breath fanning against your already red face.

"you look pretty handsome too, nemi." you whisper back and he smiles softly. your eyes meet sanemi's big, lilac ones in an affectionate gaze, as he's about to say his wedding vows to you.

"i promise to protect you for the rest of my life, and no matter what happens, i'll be there for you. you're the best thing that's happened to me, i love you, y/n." although it was simple and felt a little clumsy because he was a bit embarrassed having to confess his feelings to you in front of a big crowd, but you were so touched nonetheless as you start crying tears of joy. which startles sanemi a little because he thought he messed it up, but you assure him that these are happy tears.

"i love you too, nemi. always have, and always will, my dear husband." you reply to him before the two of you share a passionate kiss, signaling the official beginning of your life as a married couple. you can't believe that the man in front of you, the love of your life, is now your husband whom you're about to spend the rest of your life with until your very last breath. once your finally processes everything, you begin to feel so overwhelmed and start crying happy tears again.

"stop crying or else you'll ruin your face, idiot." sanemi playfully teases you as he gently wipes away the tears falling down your cheeks.

"can't help it, i'm just too happy." you smile and wrap your arms around his neck as you pull him in for a hug, holding onto him for dear life. he envelopes you in his arms and hugs you back, spinning you around as everyone in the venue starts cheering for the two of you. and that was just the beginning of many, many joyful days with sanemi as your husband by your side.

[inkblot22]

Truss

Woohoo Malleus woohoo! I'm making the trigger list a bit bigger because I keep thinking about how people will totally skip reading it if it's too small and then blame the writer for their own mistake. That shit is clown behavior but I don't want to be held responsible for someone else's case of stupid, so sorry to those of you who think this looks clunky. Line divider found here: @/cafekitsune. This is also a fic that is wildly self-indulgent, in that I mean that while writing I visualized my own physical form and quirks.

That being said, this fic is written with afab (assigned female at birth) readers in mind. No pronouns other than you are used for the reader, but the reader does possess a womb. Reader's chest is not described in the least, just the lower bits, and even then it's not at length. Malleus also refers to the reader as "beauty," but masculine people can be beautiful too so idk but here's a warning anyways.

This fic is DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT. TW for noncon, fae interaction rules used for said noncon, slight bullying if you squint, one (1) mention of blood (I'm beginning to think I have a problem.) Stay safe while reading. Possible OOC Malleus, I haven't read any of book 7 and if you spoil it I'll block you temporarily.

This is absolutely not your fault, and you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. It’s awful. Crewel was for sure his namesake, because this whole thing was a steaming pile of-

Alright, from the top, just to organize your thoughts: you are the only non-magic student in a school of mages. The teachers are mages. Your best friend/roommate/monster friend is a mage. The plants here can do magic, but you? No. Thanks homeworld. Love the gift of nothing.

Thus, the faculty have seemingly created a game of “how to piss off and challenge the magicless student,” in which they give you various tasks to just make you lose sleep. Vargas had you running laps until your legs felt like jelly, doing pushups until your shoulders started sounding like glowsticks. Trein had you learning completely off the wall trivia, such as what type of fabric the Queen of Heart’s favorite bathrobe was made of and why it made her more powerful. That’s nothing, it’s easy because you apparently have so much free time in their eyes. But Crewel? Fuck that man. 

When you got the assignment, it sounded fun and exciting. He gave you seeds for a fast-growing rose thing. Honestly you weren’t paying attention to the name of it, but you retained what you needed to know. The plant only grew in moonlight, so you needed to cover it before you went inside at night. It needed a minimum of two hours of moonlight to grow per night. If the basket was overturned and it was exposed to the sun, then the plants would die. Moderate watering, no fertilizer, the usual.

Once the plants bloomed, you were supposed to take the flowers and make some kind of glamour potion, so here you are, failing at doing so. You only had four flowers, and you’re down to the last one. You wasted three tries and you still have no idea what the hell you’re doing wrong and it’s due next alchemy class and you’re breaking curfew on top of all of it. You glare into your cauldron with your latest failed attempt and hunker down to shoulder against the side so you can dump it out and try again. 

“Oh, it’s you.”

The voice makes you jump out of your skin. You turn around and you almost want to cry tears of joy, because if anyone can help you, it’s him.

“When I saw a little head duck down, I thought that something strange was happening. A crime, perhaps.” Malleus smiles, and it’s not a kind smile, but you’ll take anything remotely positive at this point, “What are you doing on the floor, child of man?”

“Oh, I have to empty the cauldron.” You puff out, still trying to throw your weight to push the cauldron. You did it twice earlier, so this must be the effects of mental and physical fatigue.

“Oh, that’s right. Allow me.” Rather than waving a hand or anything, Malleus strolls on over and uncrosses his arms, taking one hand and pressing his fingertips against the lip of the cauldron. The whole damn thing tips, the failed mixture pouring out into the nearby drain. With the same ease, he tilts it back and turns to you.

When he looks at you, it’s… weird. You know he’s lizard-like, as dragons evidently are, but even Sebek’s eyes aren’t this jarring. They aren’t soulless or cold or unfeeling, but it feels like he is looking through you. His emotions don’t reflect in his eyes properly. That’s what it feels like. They reflect, but it’s wrong. Fractured. His lips quirk into a smile and you blink.

“Uh… wait, what are you doing out here, Tsunotaro?” You ask, turning to gather more materials, following the transcript of your recording from class.

His smile grows, “Just on a walk. Will you tell me what you’re trying to make?”

“Uh, yeah. This glamour potion? I don’t know. Remember how I was growing those flowers?”

“Of course. And what happened to the rest?”

“I… uh… I messed up the other potions. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.”

“No?”

“No. Do… do you think you could maybe… help me?”

“Of course.” Malleus plucks the flower up, twirling it thoughtfully, “Why don’t you gather the other ingredients?”

That was simple enough. Petals from your tediously grown blooms, some kind of floral oil with tiny white flowers inked on the label, a ball of clay no bigger than a pea, something that really resembled a severed finger, something that was hopefully just someone’s baby tooth, a handful of crystals in a rainbow of colors, and water. Lots of water. Malleus watches as you put all your ingredients on the nearby table and hums thoughtfully before dimming the lights and turning back to you.

“And where did you hear that you needed these things?” He asks. It’s not something that he says with any indication that you’re right or wrong. The tone is bland but the words say enough. 

He has essentially told you before that he believes you inept, a babe in the woods when it comes to this sort of thing, but it doesn’t stop you from looking as hurt as you feel, “The headmage visited class and gave me some pointers?”

“You personally or the entire class? I don’t personally recall concocting anything like this when I was in your grade.” He says.

You suppose you’re grateful that he’s so blunt, but his flat tone makes the sting of your failure that much sharper. You thought he’d be nicer, since you two are sort of friends, and Lilia has told you that Malleus is fond of you, but it also makes just as much sense for him to refrain from easing up in his flatness because he supposedly thinks so much of you. He thinks you’re an idiot, but he’s not willing to treat you as such.

“The whole class. And no one else in my grade is doing this.” You mutter, staring at your assortment of items on the table.

He approaches the table and plucks up the beaker of water, twisting it in his hand, “Did you distill this?”

“What?”

“Tap water often has various minerals in it. If you haven’t been using distilled water, you’ve been adding an extra ingredient. Typically, most potions are much more forgiving and you can use tap water with little issue, but this particular potion is known to be disagreeable.” He murmurs, crossing the room with your beaker of water and setting it up to distill with a practiced ease. “That’s why it’s typically saved for fourth year students’ aptitude testing.”

The revelation hit you like a ton of bricks. You’d like to protest but it unfortunately makes sense. Malleus looks over at you, somewhat blandly, then turns around to face you, looking half concerned.

You answer his question before he can ask, “I didn’t… know that. I guess it’s my fault for being from a different world…”

His lips twitch into a smile, and for a moment you can see amusement in his eyes, fractured with the underlying coldness, “Oh, it isn’t. It may be your fault for failing to ask questions, but having someone who is unused to this type of work take on an advanced project is cruel.”

“You think so?” You ask, voice lilting with hope.

“Of course I do. Why you’re expected to make a potion of this caliber is beyond me.” Malleus states blankly.

“Uh, yeah. I- I don’t know either. But thank you for helping me!”

His expression flinches. It lasts for less than a second before it smooths into an odd grin. You’re not quite sure what that means, but you’re too happy to stop and think about it. The water finishes distilling and you carefully begin crafting, using the tips Malleus occasionally mumbles towards you. Don’t put that ingredient in yet, stir clockwise, you need to grind that up with the oil, don’t rush you have time, et cetera, et cetera, and then you have a gorgeous violet mixture, glimmering with a pearlescent golden sheen.

Your jaw drops. Somehow the few ingredients you threw together is enough to fill several bottles. Malleus is making a smug face as you rush to the shelves of empty bottles and choose several fluted bottles, quickly using a ladle to deposit the final, successful potion into the bottles. You’re so giddy with your success that you hardly notice as Malleus walks towards the door and locks it. But only hardly.

“What was that for?” You ask, not actually caring. You’re too happy to be worried.

“Oh, we’ll need privacy.” He responds.

That part confuses you enough into caring. You turn around from where you’ve safely wrapped the bottles and slipped them into your bag and shoot Malleus a frown, “Privacy? For what?”

Malleus doesn’t say anything. He walks over to the table and you feel your body stand up, void of your control, and stagger over to stand in front of him. If you were concerned before, you’re frightened now. Malleus looks down at you with his strange gaze and folds his arms.

“Wh-what’s happening?! Why can’t I move?”

“You really don’t know?” He asks. Something about his tone sounds mocking, but you’re certain he doesn’t mean it to be. It’s his version of sarcasm, he’s spoken to you like this before.

Your body hops up on the table, taking a seat, and Malleus turns to stand before you, looking down at you with a soft smile. You shift your hips- what the fuck is going on- and Malleus very gently hooks his hands in the pants of your dorm uniform.

Your dorm uniform is legit whatever the hell you want it to be, so it would change on the daily. Today it was a pair of jeans and a hooded jacket. He kneels to remove your shoes and stands back up, leaning close as he tilts your chin up. His breath fans over your lips.

“You didn’t tell me that you were so lovely beneath your clothes.” His hand on your chin shifted to your cheek, and his other hand laid flat on the table. “And… your smell is much stronger. Are you aroused?”

“You can’t just ask me that! I don’t know what you did but you’ve got to let me go.”

“I didn’t do anything. This is your doing.” He retorts, pecking your lips very chastely. 

“What are you talking about?” When he didn’t respond, instead pressing the tips of his hand that was on the table against your exposed sex, your heart jumps but your body doesn’t move. You can’t, “Don’t do that!”

“Lilia informed me that making someone climax is similar to binding someone to you.” He mumbles, kissing you again as his fingers slowly slip inside. “It makes them fall in love with you. Isn’t that the most binding contract of all?”

You don’t know why he isn’t listening, but even less than that, you don’t know why he thought you could handle two fingers, much larger than your own, penetrating you. You squeal, but your body is incapable of tensing. Malleus pulls back, looking at you in a soft confusion.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“With me? What’s wrong with you? That’s too many- it’s uncomfortable!”

He blinks at you and withdraws a finger, which feels much better. You sigh. If you’re going to be forced to do this, you may as well not get hurt in the process. You close your eyes and Malleus hums.

“Is this better? You’ll have to forgive me. I haven’t had a dalliance with a human before.”

“I- I don’t think I’ll be able to… to forgive you for this.”

“No?” You can hear his smirk and the squelching noise as he pumps his finger gets louder. He slips the second finger in again and the burn isn’t so bad as last time, “Well, maybe you can decide that for certain after the wedding.”

“The wedd-” You have to bite your tongue to keep from moaning. Your body leans back, laying on the table, and your gentle assailant curls his fingers, leaning forward to mouth at your neck, “There’s not gonna be a motherfucking wedding. You’re-”

You can hear his horn scraping against the table, “Hmm. I didn’t think you were so entitled. You’re squeezing around my fingers. Are you close?”

“No!” You’re a liar. A ragged gasp leaves your throat and you feel the drop in the pit of your stomach, the burst of euphoria traveling up your spine as his thumb presses against your clit.

Malleus laughs, then leans up off of you. The sound of clothing hitting the ground is the first and only warning you get, but you can’t move, so it might as well have been silent. You feel something on your stomach, coming up about a half inch below your belly button. It’s… almost cool to the touch. You would think it would be warmer, but it’s not. Your eyes round as you stare at the ceiling, and Malleus’s face leans into view, his eyes boring into yours as though he’s reading your thoughts.

“You’re very warm. I’ve always thought this. You must be boiling inside.”

“I- what?”

He doesn’t respond, leaning back up. You feel the velvety head of his cock press against your entrance and as much as you want to jolt away, you can’t move your body. You can’t even look down to see what he’s doing. Your lashes flutter as the stretch sets in, the pressure worse than his two fingers. It burns, especially along the bottom, where his weight lays heavy thanks to gravity. You’re capable of wincing and letting out a whine, but nothing else.

“H-hey, that- that hurts.” You babble.

“Does it? You are squeezing me like a vice. I’ll stay still for a moment so you can relax some. Let me know when it stops hurting.” It’s very peculiar. Although he speaks with an animated tone, his voice is often detached. You would think he’d have more emotion since he’s inside of you.

You blink rapidly and decide that now is as good a time as any to ask, “What the hell is happening?”

“Must you tease me so?” He responds, his voice tense.

“What? I’m not teasing you. I can’t move!”

“Of course you can’t. You only just bound yourself to my will.”

“I what?” You shout.

“What, did you think I enslaved you? I could have, when we first met. You’re too free, giving people your name, thanking them, taking gifts freely… it drives me mad.” You feel a flash of heat, something warm rolling against your skin, like standing too close to a gas stove, “And now I find that you didn’t even know? I didn’t think you were such a fool.”

“That’s just called being polite!” You protest. “Oh my god-”

“I suppose I can’t blame you, really. Relax, lest I harm you.” He murmurs, rolling his hips further as though he can slide in deeper. 

You squeak, “N-no, that’s-”

“Too much, yes. Tell me, in your world, do faefolk exist?”

“I- I mean, if they do, most people don’t believe in them.” The oddity of the situation felt like a blanket. Having a semi-conversation while your friend- not after this- used you as a dick holster. It was almost comforting. “I don’t- I don’t understand.”

His voice was deeper than normal, an underlying rasp to his voice, as though it was coming from somewhere deep in his throat, “I will explain. I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know. But after I explain, I will begin to move.”

“H-hey, no-”

His voice sounded choked, half strangled as he stifled a groan, “I apologize for not being clear earlier. Among the fae, verbal contracts are common and binding. You do not give someone your name. You wonder why I never directly gave you mine? It is a way to bind someone to your will. You do not accept gifts. Invitations are fine, but a gift is a sign that you owe someone something. My help- a boon- is a gift. Typically it is repaid with another kind turn. And, most importantly, you do not thank someone without the sufficient power to break their hold.” 

You felt him draw back, that wave of heat rolling over you again, and then he slammed forward. The slick noise and dull smack were muffled by your squeal, his cockhead punching your cervix like it stole from him.

“Foolish little thing. I suppose it makes you cute.” He sneers, and your body sits up, arms wrapping around his shoulders.

The angle makes his motion a bit less painful. He’s no longer bumping against your cervix, thank the Seven, but the stretch remains. Your eyes flinch shut and Malleus tilts your chin up to kiss you again.

“St-stop- stop!” You whimper, “You’re hurting me!”

“If you would relax, beauty, that would not be a problem.” His chuckle is dark, the squelching from your coupling making a wicked duet that makes you feel dizzy, “And you said it to me so easily as well. Thank me again.”

“Wh-” One of his hands slipped under your hips, holding your bottom just under the split in your cheeks, and nipped your neck as a flat thumping echoed from where your bodies met, your legs bouncing with the motion. His member had gone back to bullying your cervix, and you wailed in the hopes that he would stop, “Thank you!”

“Heh… it escapes your lips so freely. Tell me, beauty-” He cut himself off with a grunt, panting against the column of your throat. “Tell me, what is it that you’d like? I would give you the world on a platter, should you want it.”

“I- ow! Y-you’re hurting me!”

There was a possibility that he was getting off on the pain he was causing you, just as much as there was a possibility of him not understanding that he was hurting you. With every motion of his hips against yours, despite the wicked pain, you felt that ever evil tug in your gut, like a stone growing heavier and heavier. 

You tried again, because if this had to happen, if you were under his control now, you may as well not get injured. You would not be pissing blood if you could help it, “It’s too deep!”

He listened. It was odd, but he listened, his voice warming as he slid back a bit and continued ramming into you, but no longer beating the hell out of your internal organs.

“I didn’t realize. Is that better?” His voice sounded warmer, echoey against your shoulder. His teeth grazed over your skin again when you didn’t respond. He choked out your name and you sort of came back to yourself.

“U-uh- I guess?”

“Wonderful.” He mumbled, his free hand reaching between your bodies and slicked with your sweat, to tweak your clit.

It should be embarrassing, how quickly you reached your height. Whoever he had been with in the past couldn’t have been so sensitive, since you felt his body jerk against you, an uncontrolled undercurrent to his motions. You let out a quiet, squealing moan and barely even felt the break when Malleus bit you to muffle his own groan. You didn’t feel him climaxing inside of you. You felt the control return to your body and flopped backward onto the table, your hoodie damp with sweat. Malleus took a step back, then carefully redressed you, then himself. You looked up at him and saw nothing but adoration in his eyes, not the fractured appearance of such. It was like he was actually looking at you.

When he spoke to you, leaning forward to cup your cheek, his voice was warm, warmer than ever, “Now, let’s start planning for the wedding, my beauty.”

[vase-of-lilies]

Efforts to Make Amends

❀ Tfatws!Bucky x Mom!reader (f)

❀ Non-con and rape (DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE IT), past abuse, past parental abuse, mentions of captivity, fluff, childbirth, some suicidal ideation (but no actions), taking of virginity, some after sex bleeding, talking badly about a baby, pregnancy, dad bucky 🥺 (if there is anything else, PLEASE let me know!)

❀ Word Count: 6.3k

❀ A/N: This came to mind when I was just thinking about Buck:) I don’t know if this is already a concept, but if it is here is my take on it! :D

The cry of the newborn baby sent shivers down your spine. Not a scared shiver, or a nervous shiver. Just a shiver. You are her mother now, and you can not let this baby down. You won’t let this baby down. As the nurse gently handed the bundle of joy over to you in a pink blanket, you laid eyes on the most beautiful little thing in the world. With her eyes barely open to see, her blue eyes stared back into your own. 

Tears filled your eyes as you held her to your chest, her babbles slowly dying down to soft breaths. You smiled down at the tiny human in your arms, clutching onto your finger softly. You heard the heart monitor go off, and you immediately held your daughter tighter in your arms. Not wanting to let her go, not for one second. Your OB/GYN entered the room, smiling brightly with the paperwork of your brand new baby. 

“All is well with your little girl. I’ll let you decide on a name and we can fill out this boring stuff.” She chuckles and sits next to you on the bed. 

“Oh, I really like this one.” She hums softly at the baby names in question. She points to the fourth one on the list that you made on a piece of paper. “Clarisse” is the name she chose. It was your mother's name. Bright, shining, gentle, and brave. She was your advocate through the years you were held captive by your own father. 

Of course the circumstances of how this child came into this world is not how you imagined it, you are still eternally grateful to have her in your life. 

It was at this moment you knew all too well what you had to do. You had to start brand new; New name, address, hair color. Everything you can to stay away from the life you were forced into as a child. Going by the name Carla, you set off out of the police station with your new ID, and a new life ahead of you. You couldn’t hold back the smile that had formed on your face by the time you made it to the bus stop. 

Paying the bus driver, you sat down on the bench by the window. Carefully holding your newborn baby to your chest, you stare out the window at the passing cars, buildings, and people. All making their way home from work or even to work. Even the people who call themselves “superheroes” have a home to go to, don’t they? No matter where you go, you know you have to provide what's best for this baby. The police were some help, getting you your ID, colored contacts as well as a wig and a new passport. But it was a long, aggravating process. With every woman looking at your baby with prying eyes, getting ready to let their lips loose in the daily office gossip session. 

Finally, it was time to leave. It was time to leave the life you were previously living, and set off on a new adventure with a new companion.

~~~~~~~

Arriving at the airport, you follow the directions to buy a ticket to Spain. With what little Spanish you knew was not the problem at this point. It was getting away from a crime populated city such as New York. The culture, the people, and the ocean around the country felt like the safest option. 

“ID, ma’am.” You heard the woman at the desk say. Pulling out your ID, you make sure it is your new one. This has a special hidden key trustworthy people can scan that tells them you are a witness in protection. They are very caring with you, and question nothing if you hesitate with your new name. “Carla Davenport. Date of birth November eighteenth.” Fuck! What's the year?? “Year?” The woman asks. “U-uhm, 2001...” You almost say it as a question, but the woman smiles and hands you back your ID. 

“Enjoy Spain!” She says from the desk, and onto security you go.

~~~~~~~

The plane ride was long, and agonizing with how anxious you were. But Clarisse easily soothed your nerves. The looks people gave you were noticeable, and the last few people to board on the plane seemed reluctant to sit next to you. A newborn on a plane is someone's worst nightmare. But Clarisse was a sleepy girl, and slept a majority of the flight. The moments she did start to cry, you knew she either had to be changed, or was hungry. Once you went to the bathroom, you sat on the toilet and began to breastfeed your little girl.

The mirror that was across from you, a woman you barely recognized stared back. False black-dyed locks fell around an exhausted, hurt, and abused mother. There wasn’t much that stared back. You peeled your eyes away from the mirror, and pinned them back on your little girl. Clarisse was enjoying her milk, and was soon going to fall into a milk coma. You just knew it. 

Sighing as you sit back down, you look back out the window. The night sky was absolutely beautiful at this time, and you loved what it looked like. Even though Clarisse was asleep, you still pointed out the lights along the coast that shaped the continent of Africa, and soon to the lights that covered Madrid. Your new home town. 

As the plane landed, you stopped at the gift shop to get a Spanish-to-English dictionary to start learning. Also stopping at a small convenience store in the airport, you exchanged all of your US dollars to Euros and bought some diapers and a diaper bag as well. It was the small things that the program didn’t provide that seemed to be the biggest issues for you. But you were grateful for the small apartment they found, and even more grateful that they provided rent for the first year of living there. 

Getting a job will be difficult, but you knew that you would figure it out somehow. With how populated the world is, there is bound to be an English speaking job for you out there. But that was the least of your worries right now. What you needed the most was food, sleep, and a warm blanket for you and Clarisse. All that you needed for a couple nights was already at the apartment, and you were eternally grateful. 

Finally getting to the small one bedroom apartment, you immediately lock the door behind you, and set off to the small bedroom. There is a mattress on the floor as well as a few blankets and a pillow, but other than that nothing much else. It was simple, and you liked it. Just for you and your little girl. You smiled as you saw the view out the window. The beautiful city lights shone through the fire escape balcony, giving a soft glow in the bedroom. It felt safe. 

Getting out a diaper and some wipes, you begin to change Clarisse. “I know sweet girl, it’s been a long day.” You whisper, giving soft kisses to her face as she babbles into the open air. “Are you gonna sleep well tonight? Hm? Or are you gonna keep me up?” You chuckle at the small girl in front of you, and you softly tickle her sides. Her incoherent giggles are music to your ears, and it is nothing like you have ever heard before. “You are so beautiful my little flower.” You smile, nuzzling your nose against hers softly.

After getting Clarisse all settled, you decided to move the mattress just under the window to get the perfect view of the night sky. You lay your head on the pillow, a feeling you haven’t felt in a very long time. Your little girl snuggled right up next to you, and stared up at the sky as well. You knew she would grow up to be the best little girl there is, and there is no doubt about that.

~~~~~~~

Sweat covered your forehead as you ran through the cold Russian woods. Barely escaping the Hydra base with your ankles not broken. You kept running until you knew you were far enough away to take a breath. But oh... were you wrong. The Winter Soldier was right behind you, every step of the way. It almost felt like he was in the trees, stalking your every move just like your father had conditioned him to. 

The man was silent as he looked for you, but the silence screamed death. You were terrified, and rightfully so. Even trying to hold your breath so no one could see it, including you, was one of the only options to stay hidden. Besides trying to hide within the trees, and snow on the ground. It was hopeless. You could already hear the crunching of the snow underneath the heavy combat boots of the Winter Soldier coming your way. 

This was it, you were going to die. You never knew why your father kept you in the base, but he would not be disappointed to hear that you were gone for good. Maybe it was for the best. No one would have to worry about keeping you silent, or contained. With the secrets you know, you could uncover the world's most dangerous criminals, documents, and codes to plenty of nuclear energy. But you swore to your mother you would never tell a soul. She loved her husband and her daughter equally, but her caring nature made her keep the world she lived in safe. 

You were in your thoughts for too long. ‘Fuck-’ you suck in a breath, not moving an inch as you feel the cold blade barely cut into your neck. “Please...” you couldn’t believe you were begging for mercy, but you were strong. You had to stay alive; for your mother. “Cooperate and I won’t kill you...” the soldier said in a dark voice. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t going to kill you. 

Instead of questioning him, you gave a small nod. “Good girl.” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine. Soon the cold spread from your arms all the way down to your most intimate parts. He had sliced away at your thin hospital-like gown, and stripped you bare. You couldn’t do anything with a knife to your neck so you stayed still. “Please d-don’t, I-I’ll go back wi-with you, just p-please!” You quietly beg him, but he has already stripped himself of his own tactical pants. 

He ignored your pleas, commanding you “Be a good girl and lay on your back...” A whimper left your throat and you froze. “N-no.” You stated, calmly. Instant regret filled your veins as he swiped his foot underneath yours and you fell to the ground. Your head hit a root sticking out from the ground and your vision was rendered blurry. “P-please...” Your attempt of a small plea exited your mouth, but you gave up. 

His veiny, god-like sculpted cock filled your cunt to the brim. You tried to scream, but nothing would come out. He started to thrust, and thrust, and thrust. It felt like it never ended. His blue eyes stared into your dull y/e/c eyes with no emotion or mercy. He was told to do this to you, and it traumatized you. With no luck, you tried to push him away but he was quick to pin your hands above your head with his strong arms. One metal, one flesh. 

“It's ok... just take it...” Was he trying to comfort you? 

“I- I can’t...” 

“You will.” That was the very last thing before you were left in darkness, unconscious and barely alive. 

~~~~~~~

Clarisse lets out a small cry, waking you up instantly. “Hey sweet pea, shh shh mommas got you.” You whisper to her, gently rocking her in your arms. You didn’t know what time it was, but you knew for sure you only slept a wink. You stayed up the rest of the night, helping her to sleep, feeding her every now and then, and getting only some sleep yourself. You were more than happy to stay awake for her, and that was a sacrifice you were willing to take. 

Once the sun started to come up, you yawned and decided to see what snacks you had brought from the airport. Some ChexMix and an apple was enough until you gathered enough courage to go grocery shopping. It had to be about 9:00 once Clarisse started to wake up. Swaying her as she drank from your breast, you hummed her a soft song and smiled from above her. As she drank, you began to grab what money you had, Charisse's baby bag and a face mask just in case someone did end up recognizing you. It would be lethal to have anyone from Hydra even know you exist. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky POV:

Of course I regret everything. I have to live with what I have done every day of my life, and deep down I know that I can’t blame myself for my actions. It’s not something to get used to. Some would say that I have gotten used to hearing the last breath come from someone's gurgling throat. Some would say that “he likes to watch them die.” But in truth, nothing is worse than seeing someone's life drain from their eyes just like a painting being washed away; the paint clinging to life to stay on the canvas but the water just too damn strong. 

A victim I remember very clearly, said whilst looking through the barrel of my gun “Fools make romance of death, for it is brutal and cruel. That I say be at peace with my passing is not such a thing. But once it is done, I will be safe and sound once more. I will live as long as I can, be with you as many days as we are sent, then keep me in your memories. I will see you again. That is a promise.” He was right, I would see him again. Not in heaven, or hell where I belong. But in my nightmares every single night. Therapy can only do so much for a broken, lost and helpless soldier. Let alone a 106 year old one. 

However, I was slowly making amends with the people who were fortunately left alive. Yori Nakasima, the sweet old man I have lunch with every Tuesday is just an example. He was not a victim, but his son was. He was caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, and in turn he fell straight to the line of fire. My line of fire. No matter how much I try, I can never expel the begging that came from his mouth. He was innocent and had absolutely nothing to do with that mission. Simply… a loose knot that had to be tied tight. Yori and I went our own ways, and it makes me happy to see him still go to the same restaurant every Tuesday. He may not remember our conversation, but rest assured he can sleep knowing what happened to his son. 

One more name.

One more name and I can throw this damned book away.

Y/n Y/L/n. 

Y/n has been on this list for four to eight months now. Her name staring back at me with anger and regret. God why did her own father make me do this? Thoughts were racing through my head as I searched for Y/n, but nothing came up besides death certificates. She can’t be dead. She has to be alive, I know that she got out of there alive… Going deep into police, military and FBI/CIA records, along with the witness protection program as a sergeant, I was able to find someone by the name of Carla Davenport. I obviously knew this was wrong, and I was mostly doing this for myself. But there was one part of me that wanted to tell her that she is safe, and that she could finally rest with her guard down. 

Doing further research, I finally came across an address. I lucked out by being in Madrid at the time with Zemo and Sam while I did my research. All I had left was to confront her and tell her my intentions. Knowing Y/n, she would be feisty, careful but most likely fearless. I know her, and she would fight with every last cell of energy in her body to win. I slightly jump as I hear my phone buzz and I answer Sam.

“Hey Sam.” I said, jotting down Y/n’s new address. I heard a sigh on the other line, and I knew I was in for something. 

“I got a call from a CIA agent who found a breach in the witness protection program. Was that you?” Sam replies. 

“Uh, why would you think it would be me? I have no reason to be on that site in the first place.” Seriously? What kind of answer was that?? “Dr. Raynor told me you needed to find some people… Buck come on man, we could have done this together.” 

“Whatever happened to patient privacy? I found what I needed, so can I log out and be on my way?”

“Listen, I know you’re hurting. Especially over Y/n. I'll help you find her, but can we please do it the legal way?” He sounded convincing enough that he actually wanted to help, but I knew that it was just a ploy. Or, maybe that was my irrational thoughts talking for me.

“I’ve gotta do this on my own. She is the last one before I can finally go out and live how I want to. She will determine if I deserve to be free.” There was silence for a short period of time, and then another soft sigh from the man on the other line. 

“Alright, fine. But if I get one more phone call telling me you did something illegal, you’re kicked off my team for charades, and you are going to talk with Dr. Raynor. Do you understand?” 

I chuckled at his threat, and I nodded to myself. “Yeah, Sam. I understand. I wouldn’t want to bother Captain America with calls from random CIA agents about the site of witnesses in protection. This is honestly something Raynor should have let me do. She was the one who told me to “use your resources'' where there was nothing else to use. Anyway, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow.” 

“See you tomorrow Buck. Have a good night.” 

Hanging up the phone, I sigh and I finish writing down the information from the website. Now that I knew where she lived, it would then be the hard part of everything. Telling her what I did, and apologizing for it. 

~~~~~~~

Your POV:

It had now been three full weeks of living in Madrid and you were living your best life! You had a desk job dealing with English complaints for a website that was fully in Spanish, and your little girl could be with you all day long. Being able to earn a stable living was nice in such a large and new country. Also with your new way of life, you were not living off of ramen and buttered toast. You were able to make full meals with fresh ingredients from the finest vendors just down the street from your apartment. Steamed vegetables, freshly cooked meat that only needed a little bit of heating in the oven and your own seasonings and finally the glorious, melt-in-your-mouth Churros con Chocolate was what you were blessed with for dessert. It was heaven, and you were living in it with such happiness. 

Clarisse is now one month old, and has been a little more aware of what she can do with her body. Even at this young age, she knows who you are and who you are to her. Soon she’ll be running around on two healthy legs with energy skyrocketing every second. Watching her grow up is the highlight of your life, and you never wanted it to end. Her eyes would scan each room you went through, each aisle you walked down, and even grabbed up at you from your arms as you made your way down to the baby section. Clothes, shoes, food. Clothes, shoes, food. All you needed was those three things, and you would be on your way. 

It was a relief that you had not encountered a challenge by anyone. Not when little Clarisse cried for a little bit, and not even when the panic set in at the sound of the bustling cars outside the store. It was a success, and you could not wait to get home. Checking out with ease, you held Clarisse close to you as you took your groceries in the small basket on the back of your bike, and strapped the little girl into her car seat carrier on the front of your bike. “All safe and sound, my sweet girl,” You whisper, gently putting her blanket over her. On the way back to your apartment, you followed the same route to and from. Two lefts, a right, up the hill and to the left. It was almost a song you replayed over and over in your head, just to help you get home. Just like your mother taught you;

Down the hall and to the left, a little bit longer, up the stairs and in my arms you go! This song was to navigate the hallways of the large house your father had bought your family before he decided to keep you as his own lab rat. 

Once you made it into the safe walls of your home, the lock was the first thing in place after putting your bike inside. Clarrise still strapped in her seat, you rolled the bike to the far wall of your kitchen. The babbling baby in her carrier made you smile as she reached out to you, her feet kicking in excitement as she made eye contact. 

Holding your little girl felt so right, yet so wrong at the same time. Not only was this life forced upon you, but this baby took everything from you. Your passion for dancing and painting, your want to go to college, desire to learn and grow. This creature that is in need of so much care and attention took all of that from you. But so did he. He hurt you the most. 

Every day memories flow through your brain like a movie projecting onto a loosely hanging sheet. Warped, but clear for a person to know what happened. It was your duty to Clarrise that she did not know your past, and that she was brought into this life in a way that is a crime. And she never had to know. Having her not grow up with a father was a sacrifice you were willing to take to keep her protected from the pain you went through.

Your alarm on your phone went off, and you sat down on the couch to feed Clarrise. As you unclipped your padded bra, you froze at the sound of a knock came from the front door. Luckily Clarrise didn’t seem too hungry at the moment, so you slowly approached the door. You looked through the peep hole and saw a man. He had short brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He looked… gentle. 

As you held your child close to your chest you slowly opened the door.

“Can I help you?” 

He looked down at you, a hight difference clearly present. He smiled at the small child in your arms and responded to your question. “Im looking for Carla. Does she live here?” 

You nod and say “I am her, is there something I can do for you?” You ask again, wanting a reason for the sudden visit from this man. He looked back to your face and you made eye contact with him, it was his eyes that looked so familiar. 

“Right, I just moved in down the hall way and wanted to introduce myself. Im James Barnes, and I’m from 107, that way.” He pointed down the hall way and you followed his finger. You nodded with a smile. “Well, its nice to meet you James. Would you like to come in? I was just about to feed this little one, but if you don’t feel comfortable with breast feeding, you don’t have to come in.”

You invite him in, not thinking of the dangers or intents of this man. He kindly accepts and enters your small apartment. Offering him a seat on the couch, you sit down opposite from him in the rocking chair. Putting a cover over Clarrise, you begin to feed her, the milk coming from your breasts entering her mouth as she begins to feed. 

“What brings you to Spain? I don’t know a lot of English speakers here besides the land lord.” You say, wanting to start conversation. He nods and shrugs, smiling softly. 

“I just needed a change of scenery, thats all.” He keeps his answer simple, not knowing how to bring himself to tell you what he did. 

“Have I seen you around? You seem very familiar, maybe in the market?” You ask, knowing you have seen him somewhere. 

This was his chance, this is the time to tell her. 

“No, I don’t think it was in the market,” He says in a sad tone. “It was a while back, I- um, I worked with Hydra. For your father. A-and I was ordered to do something very harmful to you, and I believe it was the result of- of her…” He slowly explains as he takes off his glove, revealing his metal hand. 

Your heart drops, the puzzle piece finally fitting in the right place in your mind. Tears pool in your eyes as you look from his eyes to his hand. The metal one. The memories come flooding back to your head, the nightmares, the feelings, and the eyes. His eyes, those got forbidden eyes. As cold as ice, yet as blue as the ocean of where you pictured yourself at the time of his assault. 

"I am only here to apologize. I am not asking for forgiveness. I am no longer the winte-”

“Why,” you cut him off. “Why did you do it?” Your voice cracks, many emotions coming through your gritted teeth. 

His eyes softened at your broken voice, and he sighs softly looking down at his hand. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“What did my father do? What did he do to you?” You ask, pity also filling your voice as you too know what horrors other prisoners went through. You felt bad, even for him. You tear your eyes away from him, moving them to your baby, his baby. 

“He did horrible things, but nothing compares to what he did to you. What he made me do to you. I- Im so sorry Y/n…” He takes the risk of saying your name, not expecting anything from it. 

“What are you doing here, James? What do you expect me to do?” I ask, trying to understand why he is here. “Did you come to finish the job?” You ask the question that dreaded your mind the moment he told you who he was. 

“No, not at all. I actually came here to offer protection. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me or the life you had to endure when under the horrors of Hydra.”

You considered. You actually considered letting him stay and try to protect you. “What or who am I in danger of?” You counter his offer, trying to prove something but unsure of what. You sigh and shake your head. “Forget about it. Im in the witness protection program, so protection shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Carla. How do you think I found you?” He asks, exposing what he did to find you. 

Your brows furrowed and you glared at him. “I see.”

You didn’t engage anymore, you were numb and didn’t know how to feel about the situation. You felt violated all over again, by the same man. “Leave. Please just go.” You whisper, tears falling freely down your cheeks. Once Clarrise was done eating, you clipped your breast back into your bra and stood up. You didn’t notice James put a card on your coffee table as he made his way to your door. 

“I understand your fears. I hope you have found safety in Spain, Carla.” He said emotionlessly, actually understanding your fears. As he went back to his apartment which he did actually buy, he sighed and shut the door. 

As he dialed the only phone number he actually knew, he slid down the door and sat against it as the line rung. He closed his eyes and let his head hit the door. 

“Hey, you’ve reached Sam Wilson, Trauma counselor at the department of veterans affairs. Please leave a message and I will call you back when I’m free. Thanks!”

“Sam, It’s done. She- She’s crossed off the list.” 

~~~~~~~

Hours had passed by the time you could even speak. “How could he have found us?” You ask as you bounce Clarrise in your arms. The sleeping little girl in your arms was clueless to your question, hopefully dreaming of running free and not in hiding anymore. “My god, maybe it would be good to have protection…” 

You were talking to Clarrise as if she understood, but you knew she didn’t. You give her head a small kiss, looking in the direction of the coffee table in the middle of your small living room. An index card sat on the corner, scribbled on it was a phone number and a sloppy “107” on the bottom. You knew who this was from. 

You sighed and sat on the couch, cuddling your baby close to your chest, clutching her as if she would disappear. Staring at the piece of paper in your hands you contemplate calling him, contemplating on apologizing. Apologizing on your fathers behalf. 

Before you could stop yourself, you reached for your phone and dialed the number. 

~~~~~~~

Bucky jumped at the ring of his cell phone. He instantly recognized the number from the witness protection program website. 

“Hello?”

You took a few seconds before talking. “I know you know who this is. I’m making dinner a-and was wondering if you would like to join me?”

Bucky was taken a back by the sudden invitation, “Oh, sure I would love to. What time should I be there?” 

Responding rather quickly, you said, “Now?”

Before he could say anything, you had hung up and began making dinner. Boiling water for the noodles, opening up some seasonings you had just bought and putting the bread in the oven, you were ready for James. 

He knocked on your door and you put Clarrise in her bassinet in the living room, keeping an eye on her as you cooked. As you opened the door, you smiled softly at James. Instead of fearing him, you wrap your arms around him. He freezes, not yet used to such a gentle gesture from someone. 

As you sigh into him, he returns the hug and softly wraps his arms around you too. “Im so sorry James. Im sorry for everything my father did to you…” You know you shouldn’t have to apologize, but you can’t help but feel obligated knowing what James went through. 

“No, you have nothing to apologize for. It was and never will be your fault. Do you understand me?” James said, giving you a soft squeeze. 

You nod silently in response, and you gently pull away; tears falling from your eyes. Out of instinct, he cups your cheek and tenderly wipes the tears from your cheeks.

You lean into his benevolent touch and look up at him, a sense of security falling over yourself. Even though you knew him as the winter soldier, you knew you were safe with James. You knew that Clarrise was his child as well, and that she was safe with James. 

Gently reaching for his hand, you lead him into your home. He shuts the door behind him, and smiles as you walk to the kitchen continuing your work making dinner. You pause and look over at Clarrise who is now wide awake. 

“Do you want to meet her?” You ask, noticing James looking over at the babbling baby. 

He nods with a smile, subconsciously knowing that Clarrise is his child. As you approach the bassinet, you smile down at her. “Hi sweetheart, are you awake?” You ask in a small voice, smiling as she smiles back up at you. Picking her up, you hold her against your chest, looking to James with a smile. 

“I named her Clarrise, after my mother. Do you want to give her a middle name?” You ask, subconsciously accepting that he is her father. He looked to you and tilted his head. 

“Are you sure?” He asked, not wanting to force himself into the life you and Clarrise already have. You nod and wait for him to give an answer. “What about Sarah? After my sister?” 

Your ears perked at the word ‘sister,’ “You have a sister?” You ask with smile. 

“I had a sister. She um, she passed away a couple years ago. But she was sweet, and I think that it would be perfect for this sweet girl as well.” You smile at his suggestion and nod in approval. 

“Clarrise Sarah Barnes.” You utter, gently handing James your baby girl. “It’s ok, you won’t hurt her, I know you won’t.” Looking up at him, you can see the hesitation in his eyes. As he takes Clarrise in his arms, the connection is clear between them. A father-daughter bond that no one can just create. She was his.

“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.” He subtly compliments you, himself falling for you. This time in the form of true love, not forced love. You feel your cheeks heat up, a shy smile pulling at your lips. 

“She has her fathers eyes,” You point out Clarrise's blue eyes, still slightly forming as she grows. “And his bravery.” Adding onto her attribute, you look at James face as he interacts with the baby. 

Thinking of his preposition, you say to him, “You know, I wouldn’t mind a little protection. I-it would be nice to not feel so scared going out. Clarrise I bet would love to have her father around as well.” 

You anxiously wait for James’s reaction, hoping he doesn’t think you are moving to fast. Relief flooded your system as he nods. “I promise you, no one will hurt you. Not anymore.” He says, turning his head back to you. “I promise, Carla.”

You shake your head, and wave your hand a little bit. “Y/n is fine. Im sick of being someone Im not.”

He chuckles softly. “Trust me, I get it.” You smile and you move next to him, leaning on his strong bicep as you both look down at your beautiful baby girl. 

“James?”

“Yes, Y/n?” 

You pause.

You smile as he transfers Clarrise back into your arms. She has fallen asleep again, so you put her back in her bassinet. With the knowledge that both of her parents looking down at her, it makes you feel secure and safe. 

You turn to Bucky and look up at him, your hands coming to meet his cheeks. The proximity of the both of you made your heart beat quicker, and your mind blank. You did what you felt was right and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. His hands hold your waist gently, and he pulls you into him. You pull away breathlessly and he kisses your temple. You move your arms around his torso, and he holds you in an embrace, his chin resting on your head.

"I’d like you to stay. Please.” You answer, a sigh of relief escaping your mouth as you feel him nod his head. 

“Of course, princess, of course.” He cradles the back of your head in his large hand and kisses your forehead once again. He may have hurt you in the past, but he’s gained a little bit of your trust. He showed you that he is sorry, and you understand that it was not his fault. In this new chapter of your life, you know you will make it far.

And so will your baby girl. 

[hrts4hanniehae]

Take a Chance with Me || fifteen (finale)

ib Daytime Star

~2 years later~

of course she was upset that cheol's schedule had been so hectic lately, but she too had been drowning in work. sure it was their careers... but their schedules had ruined not only their first relationship anniversary but also their get-back-together anniversary! they were not even in the same country for BOTH of those dates. it was a bit painful but she had to deal with it.

the greetings for the fan meet went really well with her performance being almost perfect (except for her small wardrobe malfunction when her ripped jeans ripped even more than they should) but fans all got even more excited when they saw her in a much more flattering dress.

some of her celebrity friends came to visit her and of course, pretended to be die-hard fans. even the twitter fans @ yn_hrts and others were also present. this was the happiness of being an idol that she remembered.

it was coming to the end of the fan meet. the stack of gifts she had received were all behind her and she was focused on drawing something on a fan's notebook.

when that fan had moved on, she greeted the next person without looking up. "hi! thank you for waiting and thanks for coming! shall i sign something?"

"yea. could you sign this?" the paper before her was filled with text in black and white. without reading the contents she looked up at the person in front of her.

"CHEOL??"

"hello my love."

"what the hell r u doing here?"

"yn, my dear, please read the paper."

she finally looked down.

"oh my god."

it was a marriage certificate.

the whole room was screaming and she looked to her right.

choi seungcheol, the alpha of kpop and the leader of seventeen, her boyfriend, was on one knee holding a small box with the most beautifully intricate ring she'd ever seen.

"oh my god."

"The first day we met, you tripped and fell into me. But it ended up being me who fell for you first. Your laughter, your kindness, and the way you make every day brighter – it all captured my heart. We've been through so much together, shared our dreams, and faced challenges hand in hand. And through it all, my love for you has only deepened. We had our problems and we had our happiness. And now, I only want to bring you tears of joy and not sorrow. Not now, not ever. Those 3 years of distance from you were our darkest times. Now, I want to be happy together. Yn Ln, my love, my happiness, will you take a chance and marry me?"

she was crying. she couldn't believe it. he was proposing? here?

"yn?"

"yes. yes i'll marry you, my cheolie." and she signed the certificate.

"SHE SAID YES!" - hoshi

"oh my god hoshi not so loud!" - seungkwan

seungcheol had planned to be the last "fan" for the day, but in his haste, he had accidentally started queuing too early. so yn had to continue the fan meet for the rest of the fans with him sitting beside her.

"congrats on your engagement, yn-noona and seungcheol-oppa!!"

"thank you."

"oh my god i'm so nervous. bn do i look okay? oh my god." - yn

"yn you look great. don't worry so much" - bn

"yn your hair is out of place at the back." - jae

"thank you jae. see, bn, i don't look great." - jae

"oh my god don't do this right now." - bn

"jeonghan where are the rings oh my god." - seungcheol

"i've told you five times, they are with dino." - jeonghan

"do i look okay? oh my god, i see her dad." - seungcheol

"you've seen her dad so many times..." - wonwoo

"hyung, stop freaking out." - vernon

"i'm getting married, how can i not be nervous?" - seungcheol

"it'd better not be cold feet..." - hoshi

"it's not. i'm just scared that something will go wrong. I want to marry her so badly but what if something goes wrong?" - seungcheol

"we'll be there to sort it out, hyung." - dino

"you're getting married today in the best wedding possible. end of story. stop freaking out." - jeonghan

of course, the wedding went smoothly. cheol's vows made yn cry and yn's vows made seventeen cry. seungcheol was surprisingly very teary when yn put his ring on and he almost burst into tears after their first kiss as a married couple.

the dispatch photographer took so many photos that they had to dedicate almost 10 posts just to this wedding.

when it came to the bouquet toss... who knew that it'd be wonwoo to catch it, leaving mingyu a bright red mess. (luckily the dispatch photographer had left)

they were finally married.

"i'm glad you decided to take a chance with me, seungcheol. because this love we have, you can't find it with anyone else. thank you for loving me, choi seungcheol. today is the day i become choi yn. i've never been happier to be yours."

"thank you, yn, my love, for allowing me to take a chance with you. because you are the one thing i can't lose. i look into your eyes and i see forever. i'm forever yours. i'd be ln seungcheol if you insisted, but seeing how you're so happy to be my mrs choi, i'm so happy i get to call you mine."

-fin-

a/n thank you to those who always commented/reblogged my posts. yall have a special place in my heart!! we are finally at the official end of "Take a Chance with Me" and i hope y'all enjoyed it! do stay tuned for my other smaus!!!!

note to my taglist: please reblog and comment abt the chpt so i know that you're actually reading my stuff.

summary: 3 years after your breakup with seungcheol, you release an album to cope with your still-broken heart. you didn't expose his name but quickly, your fans and fans of svt begin to connect the dots to the past you wish you could relive. little did you know, the man you loved so desperately would begin to chase you back with the same desperation you so very much desired

inspired by: take a chance with me

pairing: idol!choi seungcheol × fem!idol!reader

genre: past relationship, fluff, angst, best friend!booseoksoon, smau, miscommunication, pining, 2nd chance

warnings: implied self harm/depression, hate comments, updates irregular but will finish because i cried when i thought abt this idea

started: 13.12.23 ended: 28.12.23

taglist: fill out the form in my pinned post to be added to the taglist (specify this smau in the pw section)

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tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @atinybitlonely @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03

[rabbitblackx]

I'm self-cautious about my weight, I could use some cheering up by Jason Voorhees, but I'm not the only one with insecurity about weight-gains. So how about a headcanon for slashers with an S/O who is insecure about their weight gain after finding out from someone or by the weighing scale.

Hearing about me gaining weight made me want to go on a diet and eat less. So It'd be nice to know what the slashers would do about it to make their S/O feel better about themselves and not hurt themselves. :)

I’m terrible at choices so I only did jacey :( I’m a bit of a realist when it comes to writing slashers so sorry if he comes off a tad cold. Hope u enjoy anyway <3 ps I bet u look lovely

Jason Voorhees with a Reader that’s insecure about their weight

Your coworker had a baby last year, and finally returned to work from her family leave. You welcomed her back with a friendly smile, asking about her new bundle of joy. She seemed almost shocked to see you, eyes wide and looking you up and down

“What? What is it?” Your brow furrowed as you followed her gaze down your body

“Nothing!” The woman blurted. “It’s just… you’re a bit—bigger from when I saw you last…”

…

Jason wasn’t far from your cabin, and was alerted that you were back from work by your shoes clobbering noisily against the porch. Followed by you ripping the door open and throwing it shut

“Jason!” You barked. You looked around your cabin, noticing he wasn’t there. “Course you’re not here.” You rolled your eyes with a huff

You approached the kitchen table and dumped your bag onto it, grumbling to yourself while running a hand through your hair. As you turned on the spot, the bejesus was practically scared out of you as Jason seemingly teleported right behind you

“Oh, good. There you are.”

Jason tilted his head, wondering what got you in such a crabby mood. You lifted your hands up dramatically and purposefully parted your lips, signalling to him you were about to go on a full rant. Jason nearly audibly sighed

“You will not believe what this woman said to me today.” You gossiped like a teenager

Jason stood there like a soldier as you went on a mini tantrum about how your dumb coworker basically said that you had gotten fat

“Which is ridiculous, since she’s the one that just had a baby! Like, sorry to break it to ya, Margaret. But that bikini body is never coming back. Welcome to motherhood!” You carried on, placing one hand on your hip while the other was raised up sassily

Respectfully, Jason had absolutely no idea what you were talking about. You ignored his obvious confusion and turned away from him, going over to the fridge to get some cold water

“Like, how dare she? I was so nice to her too! And that was the first thing she said to me.” You rambled, grabbing a bottle of water and gulping it down

Jason didn’t know how to help you. He was not at all great at comfort. So instead, he simply walked out to let you cool off. That hurt your feelings a bit, but you just went about your evening anyway

Jason came back to your cabin in the nighttime, when you were getting ready for bed. He peeked his head through your bedroom door, pausing when he saw you standing in front of the mirror

You were in your pyjamas, staring intently at your reflection. Your hands went to your belly, sliding under your shirt and giving the skin a squeeze. Jason could see the big frown that crept across your features. He didn’t like it at all

He swung the door open and entered the room. You turned your head and looked at him, clearly biting back tears. He slowly walked over, standing just inches away from you

“She’s right. I have gained weight.” You sniffled

Ugh, great… now you were sad. Couldn’t you just go back to being angry? Jason could actually relate to that emotion…

“Do you think I look bad? Should I go on a diet?” You asked

You whirled back around to the mirror, studying your body while trying not to cry. Jason leered behind you, too watching you through the reflection. His shoulders slumped. Agh, you! Why’d you make him feel all this human stuff? You almost made him feel… god forbid, bad… which he thought was almost impossible

Jason reached up to his mask, carefully peeling it away from his face. Your eyes were finally ripped away from your body, now watching him in the mirror. You nearly flinched when the hockey mask hit the floor, teetering momentarily before laying still

Jason now stood unmasked behind you. You didn’t dare look back, instead having a stare off with him in the mirror. You froze up as he broke the distance between you two, pressing up against your behind. He placed both hands on either of your shoulders, slowly leaning over to rest his chin on top of your head. His hands soon traveled down your front, moving to wrap around your waist in a makeshift hug

The both of you silently stared at each other in the mirror, not moving a muscle. A single tear slipped down your cheek. It wasn’t much, but you knew that Jason was trying his best.

“Thanks, Jason.” You tearfully whispered, a smile meeting your face for the first time tonight

And just so you knew, no, he did not think you needed to go on a diet

[murdrdocs]

‘sighs’😔thinking about dad finnick having an arts and crafts day with ur guys kid and u come home to them making you a seashell necklace or something as a surprise 😭

STOP OMG the way i have a little seashell necklace too 😔 (boy dad! finn + return of mikey)

you were gone a little longer today than usual, already knowing before you left that it would be a long day with you absent from home and your loves.

finnick, ever the resourceful dad, already knew he would need to do something to keep your son distracted, to ward off the tears that were due to come one he realized that mommy was leaving and not returning until dinner.

which, mikey did cry a little when you walked out of the door, but you were kissing him and finnick was rubbing his back, lowly saying something about crafts. you would've picked up on it more, if your heart wasn't breaking at the tears and wobbly chin, and your mind wasn't running with things you needed to get done.

but you come home to the smell of lemon chicken and the sound of finnick and mikey's laughter, your hands full of bags and your heart swelling.

"can someone come help mommy with the bags?" comes your yell, the sound of two pairs of feet, one larger and one smaller, against the hardwood floor letting you know that your boys were on the way. but they stop, and finnick says something, and then only one set of feet are coming your way.

finnick kisses you, takes all of your bags, and urges you to come into the dining room, a knowing smile on your face as he watches confusion come onto yours. the confusion is quickly replaced with joy when you see the set up that finnick has on the wooden table.

a plastic tarp and cardboard down to protect the table, glue and necklace strings laid around, hook and eyes in silver and gold, and seashells and shark teeth scattered across the surface.

"are you doing arts and crafts? without me?" you’re faking hurt, but you actually are a little upset that you missed out. until mikey turns around from the chair he sits in, holding two necklaces out for you.

"we made you necklaces!" he tells you, small hands delicately holding the jewerly. in one hand is a seashell necklace, a pretty blue seashell in the middle of the black robe. almost identical to it is the shark tooth necklace mikey holds in his other hand.

you crouch to his height, admiring the work done with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. "thank you, baby! it's perfect."

"it matches, see?" and mikey is thrusting his chest out to you, showing you the little shark tooth necklace he wears. you "wow" at it, truly feeling warmth take over your body. "and daddy has one too!" and you look over at finnick, body getting even warmer when you notice the little piece of jewelry that sits proudly against the strong column of his throat.

finnick offers to put the necklaces on for you, and you turn around to let him do so, giddy to see them against your skin in the mirror. which, they're perfect, little tokens from your two favorite boys in the world.

[cherpot]

Blushes & Buttons

A TADC fic made with headcanons from @srrycomet and I!! Enjoy!

~

“Thanks for sticking with us through the funeral, Pomni.” Ragatha walked next to her friend, palms clasped in front of her. The taunting funhouse hall of bedrooms stretched on before them, seeming endless to Pomni.

Pomni looked up to meet Ragatha’s eye, offering a half smile. “No problem.” She made another small offer of a thumbs up. “Thanks for, uh… Inviting me?”

Ragatha smiled, but it wasn’t a fully whole gesture. Silence settled over them, and Pomni found herself itching with a need to break it. Ragatha wasn’t herself, and that needed to be fixed. Quickly.

“I’m… sorry about your friend. Ragatha.” The other woman’s name was added to Pomni’s apology as an afterthought. Pomni found that using the other humans’ names made her unreal situation seem, unfortunately, more real. It solidified the horror around her.

But Ragatha was the opposite of horrifying. And if any of this was to be real, Pomni hoped it would be her.

“I know I didn’t know anything about him,” Pomni continued, “but it seems like you guys cared for him a lot. And…” She sighed as the two came to a slow stop in front of Pomni’s bedroom door. “I’m sorry.”

Ragatha sighed too, a shaky breath that sounded like a dam shuddering under the immense weight of a flood. “Thanks, Pomni.” She smiled again, a little bigger this time. “You’re sweet.” Pomni, impossibly, found herself blushing. Blushing because a ragdoll said she was sweet. The whole thing should have been crazy. It was crazy. Yet it was the only thing that didn’t feel crazy.

And, Pomni realized, Ragatha’s cheeks were turning pink too.

No way, she thought, as she saw tiny red stitches appear on Ragatha’s face. Thick pink yarn danced across her cheeks in a zigzag stitch that Pomni couldn’t look away from. That blush was an accent on an embroidered masterpiece, and it was impossibly sweet.

A disbelieving chuckle escaped Pomni’s throat. “Hey, uh… anytime. I just…” She let out a breath. “I hate to see you feeling down.” She wondered if that was an odd thing to say to someone she’d just met, and under horrific circumstances, no less. But she had to try and help. “If you need anything, you can tell me, okay?”

Ragatha’s expression faltered, to Pomni’s horror. And… was that a detail in Ragatha’s stitching Pomni hadn’t seen before? No, she realized with a jolt. It’s a tear.

A tiny blue button had appeared in the corner of her eye, and it fell down her cheek and onto the floor. Stunned, Pomni watched as Ragatha’s hand flew to her mouth in dismay. Another blue tear welled up in her eye, falling out as if from an overstuffed pouch. It, too, plummeted to the floor, and a few more quickly joined. Button after button streamed from Ragatha’s eyes.

Pomni was never sure how to handle people crying. Laughter was something she knew better, something she could participate in with joy, or something she could use to settle herself when things felt uncertain.

Something to mask her fear with.

Fear seemed worse when coming from Ragatha, Pomni found. Already stunned into a panic, Pomni whipped her gaze around to follow the paths of the few buttons that had cascaded to the ground. They clicked off the hard tile, the sound almost teasing, and rolled away where Pomni couldn’t see them.

“I-I’m sorry, Pomni!” Ragatha wailed, and more tears fell from her eyes. The pink stitches on her cheeks seemed to grow darker in hue. “I tried to hold it in, I really did!” Her breath caught in her throat, creating a little sob that Pomni couldn’t take.

“I-It’s fine!” Pomni insisted, clearly floundering. “Just hang on! I’ll take care of it!” Finally, she settled on what was likely the worst course of action: she dove for the nearest button as it bounced along the hall. Giving up on it quickly, she whirled around to swipe for another button, which slipped just out of her grasp.

“I’ll clean it up, don’t worry!” Pomni turned her attention to the floor, dropping to pick up the little buttons that were rolling every which way. “Don’t worry about a thing, okay?!” she insisted, her voice dripping in brittle yet ironic tension.

For a long moment, Pomni scrambled to pick up every button in her vicinity. She wobbled along on knees, in apparent denial of how pointless her actions were as she dropped each button into her gloved palm.

“I think I almost got 'em all! Don’t panic! Don’t-“

Pomni snapped her gaze back to Ragatha in surprise. Her sobs had gone staccato, lighter in sound and undeniably musical. Those sounds were no longer sobs at all; she was laughing.

Straightening her back, Pomni sat back on her heels, still awkwardly holding a handful of buttons. “Uh…”

Ragitha laughed in an impossible way: delicately, yet with her whole heart. Her lips were hidden behind one hand, as if protecting her smile. Eyes squeezed shut, her shoulders lightly shook.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Pomni!” Ragatha laughed, leaning. “You just looked so…” A fresh wave of laughter washed over her, and the tide sucked Pomni in forever.

Letting out an uncertain chuckle, Pomni set the buttons in a careful pile on the floor; only one rolled away. She rose to her feet, and the feeling of a heartbeat returned to her for the first time since she’d arrived.

The withered spot in her chest where her heart used to be was, impossibly, blooming.

Pomni stood before her new friend, fidgeting her nervous hands. “Well… I guess I made you feel better?” Somehow, it just made Ragatha laugh again.

Okay, Pomni thought, I could get used to this.

“Y’know… You’re really something, Pomni.” Ragatha giggled, sighing out the rest of her laughter. “Thanks for that.”

A genuine smile twitched at the corner of Pomni’s mouth. “You’re welcome,” she murmured. She was relieved to see Ragatha’s face free of tears and sadness. If she could keep it that way, she would. Even if it was an accident again.

Pomni faltered then, realizing Ragatha’s face wasn’t tear-free after all. A tiny blue button was caught on her friend’s stitching, right below her eye. “Oh-“ Automatically, Pomni reached for her, and didn’t stop herself until the last second.

“You’ve got an, uhm…” A button? A tear? Pomni was unsure what to call it, instead tapping her own cheek to point it out. “Can I grab it?”

“Oh!” Ragatha nodded, leaning forward slightly. Those pink, blushing stitches on her cheeks were still present, and there seemed to be more of them. Swallowing her nerves, Pomni reached out and gently plucked the button from between Ragatha’s stitches.

It came free suddenly and sharply, taking Pomni by surprise. “D-Did that hurt?”

“No, no!” Ragatha blurted, waving her hands as if to clear Pomni’s worry from the air. “Not at all. It was nice.” She seemed to be frantic all of a sudden, waving her hand again with more urgency. “I mean, it was nice of you to do that!”

Pomni wondered if the only thing that stood between her and abstraction was another glimpse of that blush.

“What I mean is…” Ragatha puffed out her cheeks and sighed, shaking her head.

Pomni’s heart fluttered.

“Thanks for being here.” Ragatha smiled.

Pomni smiled back.

[chiffaust]

Super separafe cute fluff headcanons of a sweet and cheerful reader who is a fan of wataru, hiiro, and nazuna and asks for a hug picture with them where one of the members in the unit takes of them and can u also have the reader say to them after the picture "Thank you for bringing me the most joy as my favorite member" and their reaction to that, the request, and the type of hug the characters give plzz?

— 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗕𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗙𝗮𝗻! PT. 1 h. wataru, a. hiiro & n. nazuna

content ✶ fluff, you're personally well-acquainted with them rather than just being a random fan in the crowd/idol dynamic, reader is refered as a friend/acquaintance but can be interpreted otherwise, maybe slight hurt/comfort in nazuna part...?

(n.) — all was taken entirely by tje conversations i had with theie ai so that might be a bit ooc... part 2 will be out soon... i hope + none of these are proofread at all :3

WATARU HIBIKI

He would be the most happiest to know that he — out of all people is your favorite! He would be so annoying about it too, but he would never forget to make sure to make you feel just as special as he was when you told him he was your favorite!

With a smile on his face, he'd pull a magic trick for you and all of the sudden there appeared a stand of rose in his hands and they're for you. He hopes you'll take care of it well!

And you want a picture with him? He'd more than happy to indulge you in your desire as friends! Anyone from fine would take the pictures for you two, but I think the one to offer himself to do so first is Yuzuru.

He'd be smiling brightly while winking at the camera as his hand comfortable rested against your shoulder before giving you the tightest side hug someone had ever given to you before you could even ask him to.

And for you to say that he brings you the most joy amongst all of the idols you could've met before, it brought tears of happiness into his eyes and now he's crying because of your kindness!

So that's why he's decided; from now on, he'll be friendlier and happier around you off stage than he has ever been before.

Be warned, that means he'll be more annoying than before, though.

But you don't care, right? He's your favorite idol, after all, isn't he? He hopes he'll make your everyday brighter from now on! (◍◠◡◠◍)

HIIRO AMAGI.

He's so honored to know that you're one of his fans because he's such a big fan of yours too in whatever that you do for a living! Not that he'd have a single clue on what it is, but he still likes it nevertheless!

He still feels like he isn't used to such kind words from others, though. Especially from someone he'd consider a friend like you, but he quickly shakes his head and laughs the thought away while thanking you for supporting him all of these times as he shakes your hand at a velocity speed.

Asking for a photo with him is proven to be really easy yet hard at the same time. When you suggested that idea, he'd instantly agree to it, but the thing is — he really is clueless about lots of things, so he had to ask you on how should he pose for the camera.

You didn't know either, and instantly blurted out on how you two should hug other for the picture which made Hiiro tilt his head slightly, curiosity glints in his eyes as his eyes widen at your suggestion.

Without even thinking, he agrees to it almost instantly and quickly wrapped his arms around you to form a tight hug that feels almost suffocating if it doesn't feel so warm.

You better hope Aira isn't the one taking the pictures and it was Tatami who does so because Aira will absolutely fake puke at how lovey-dovey you two look together even if it was merely an accident before taking the picture.

Telling him that he brings you the most happiness as your ALKALOID's favorite member will only make him happier, causing him to hug you again, this time even tighter than before.

He hopes your friendship will only blossom from now on and that you'll be his friend forever!

NAZUNA NITO

To hear that you were his fan was a bit shocking. He just didn't expect that someone he'd meet and talk to randomly as himself without the topic of his work was such a big fan of his.

And to see you in the crowd during Ra*bits lives, cheering for them and then seeing you during the meet and greet too... Somehow, he couldn't be happier to know that he has someone like you cheering for him and Ra*bits.

But still sometimes he feels like he isn't enough to be so loved and cherished by you and all of the other Ra*bits fans. Sometimes, it feels tiring to always act like the perfect "nii-chan" for people and he would feel like he owes his fans his success for even supporting him

So it surprised him even more when you suddenly started comforting him, telling him that he owe his fans nothing and they only ever wish for him to be happy to perform on stage as if he wishes to be an idol; like he truly is an idol — it made him tear up.

He is so eternally grateful for your support, he can't even put it in words. He knows he usually isn't good at them, but this time he was sure this was worst.

But, he still has to remain professional in a way. It's a bit embarrassing for him — an idol to cry in front of his fan like this.

So when you asks to take a picture with him, he instantly agrees to do so. And with a smile on his face, he drapes his arm around your shoulder while childishly grinning at the picture while holding a peace sign. If you look closely at the picture, you could see the tears at the corner of his eyes.

Keep on showering him with your compliments and how he brings you the most joy as your favorite Ra*bits member, he will not be so sure whether he can keep it up without crying anymore out of pure happiness and gratitude for you.

But, he is for sure going to keep working hard to make his friends, unitmates and fans happy! And he knows he'll be able to do so since he has someone like you supporting him at all times.

[nightghoul381]

Pwetty pwease with raspberries on top but may i have a soft fluffy evie pick me up fic? ;uuuu; where he's just being sweet and soft and comforting and his naturally lovely self

love uuuuuuuu

Didn't even need to throw in the raspberries but I love them so I will accept ^u^ I hope this Evie fic is just what you need!!! Love you tooo!!!

Yves Kloss (POV) x Reader Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff WC: 1.6k

“You’ve been crying.”

My voice seems to startle you from your thoughts. You were sat on the corner of my bed seemingly awaiting my return, yet the sorrowful look on your face told me it wasn’t simply a matter of you waiting for me.

When you registered that I was standing there, you wipe at your eyes and plaster a forced smile on your face.

“Oh, Yves! It’s nothing! I’m glad you’re back, I missed you,” you say, trying to sound normal despite the obvious lump in your throat.

I walk up to you with my eyebrows knitted in frustration. Why must you insist on lying to me about how you’re feeling. I can clearly see you’ve been crying and yet you still try to play it off as though your feeling are irrelevant.

“It’s not nothing. If something made you cry it needs to be dealt with, and so help me if Clavis was involved—” my words are cut off at the sound of a muted giggle.

There, that’s the sound I want to hear. The music that fills my heart with such joy. I sit beside you on the bed, wrapping an arm over your shoulder and pulling you in close. I hug you tightly to my body and you instantly melt into my embrace. I can’t stop myself, I press a gentle kiss to your hair, then to your forehead.

“Yves, really. I’m okay. You don’t need to worry about me… it’s not worth your time.” Although you’ve whispered the last bit, my impeccable hearing has most certainly picked up on it and the blazing need to show you just how important you are to me.

“And just what exactly would be more worth my time than wanting my beloved girlfriend to be happy and loved?! I can’t possibly think of anything that would take precedence over that!” I state matter-of-factly.

You cast your eyes down and stare at your hands that are twisting fretfully in your lap.

“I’m sorry… I really don’t think you should be bothering to deal with someone so broken. I’m not… good enough for you. Just look at me. I’m so…inadequate… you deserve to be with someone who’s pretty and sweet. The opposite of me.”

The protective rage that fills me leaves me staring wide eyed, mouth agape, as I try to understand where such thoughts would come from. How could you ever come to such a conclusion about yourself and your worth?

I slip my hands over your cheeks and guide your head to face me.

You look so miserable, and the slight look of surprise that flickers in your eyes tells me that the intensity of my own gaze must be more than I thought.

“Do you know why I’m with you? Why I’m so head-over-heels in love with you?” I ask, searching your eyes for some sort of shy acknowledgement that tells me that you do know why. But you refuse to meet my stare, your head straining against my palms as you try to turn your face away.

“No! I really, truly don’t understand why you would claim such things. You are so gorgeous. You are talented. You are everything that anyone could ever wish for in a partner, so why would you waste your time with me?” You sob, tearing your face away and moving across the room.

My heart shatters. I must not be doing a very good job with demonstrating my love for you to doubt it so strongly. I need to tell you, I need to show you, I need you to know.

“Will you look at me? Please? It’s important. I need you to look me in the eyes and listen to me.”

When you don’t move, I leap to my feet, the small bells on my belt creating an almost embarrassing little tinkling sound as I stalk over to you. Perhaps I should stop wearing them, you might take me and my opinions seriously then…

Shooing away such unnecessary thoughts, I reach my hands out, placing them on the wall on either side of your frame. I lean my head down, pressing my forehead against the back of your head and letting out a strangled breath.

“Please turn around. I want to see you,” I plead. I’m trying to keep my voice calm and steady, but seeing you hurting like this is like a knife in the heart, twisting painfully with each moment I’m not able to see you smile.

I hear you let out a shuddering sigh, and you turn your face, eyes glassy with tears, looking at me over your shoulder. Just as soon as our eyes meet, you turn your face back toward the wall.

“There, you saw me,” you whisper, hugging your arms around your body, shrinking into yourself.

“I need to you look me in the eye. This is the most important thing that I have ever had to say. I need your focus to be on me and me alone. Please turn around, and let me tell you how I feel about you.”

Eventually you turn yourself around, your body facing mine and I take the opportunity to grab your face and pull you into a deep kiss. I can feel your tears along my thumbs and your lips quiver as you hold back a sob. But words can’t possibly express what I need to show you right now.

I put all of my love, all of my adoration and affection, into this kiss. Please understand, I think to myself. I need you to see that you are the most important person in my life. You are the reason I breathe. Just seeing your smile and hearing your laugh is enough to rewrite the worst days I’ve experienced.

I pull back from the kiss, staring down into your eyes with reignited passion.

“I love you. I always will. You are the light in my life, the only one who truly sees the real me. You make me so unbelievably happy, even just thinking about you brings a smile to my face. It helps me get through my day knowing that when I’m finished, I get to come back and see you, and hold you, and talk to you. Hearing your voice is all it takes to make my heart sing. Your touch is enough to melt away all of my stress. If I want to laugh or vent or cry, I know I want it to be you.”

I let my arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you tightly against my chest, my heart skipping a beat when you put your arms around my back.

“I need you to know that you are my one and only. I love you for everything that you are. You mean the world to me and I would give anything to make you smile. I love your personality; you are the most selfless, caring, devoted person I’ve ever met.”

Your hold on me tightens and I can feel your shoulders jumping as you begin to cry against my chest, finally letting your emotions spill out freely.

“I will do my best to show you just how wonderful and special you are, each and every day. You are my moon, my sun, and my stars. I want to be the same for you. I want to bring you more happiness than you ever dreamed possible. I want to be your safe place; somewhere you can go to feel calm and at peace. You are literally the piece of my heart that I’d been missing. Having you in my life makes me feel complete, whole.”

“I am so completely and utterly enamored with you. I know it seems hard to believe, trust me I still feel far less than enough for you myself, but I will put everything I have into showing you that you are perfect for me. To show you how desperately and madly in love with you I am.”

The gentle rise and fall of your back shows me that you’ve calmed down. I press a kiss to the top of your head before loosening my hands and nudging you back just a bit.

“Will you trust me now? Will you believe me when I tell you that I want you, and only you?” I ask, smoothing your hair with gentle strokes.

You nod your head slowly, eyes still glassy but the defeat I had seen in your expression earlier has all but vanished. I offer a sincere smile, my heart near bursting when I see the corner of your lips quirk up.

“Thank you, Yves,” you whisper. The gentle expression that paints itself over your face has my chest tighten. You look so heart wrenchingly innocent and beautiful. I know that I am the only one you trust enough to show this vulnerability to and I’d be lying if I didn’t take some pride in that.

My face is starting to feel warm as you continue to hold my gaze.

I let out a nervous cough, and pry my eyes away from you, letting them dance around the room. The soft giggle I hear is the most soothing balm I could ever imagine. Any pain in my heart, any crack in my thoughts, is eased and healed with just that beautiful sound.

I let my feelings move me and pull you back against my chest.

“I love you, so much. I can’t imagine ever loving anyone more, and yet each day you prove me wrong. You keep finding ways to make me fall even more in love with you. I don’t even know what to do with all this love I feel for you.”

Your lips press against my shoulder and I almost miss the soft response. But I didn’t… and my face gets incredibly hot at your words.

“I have some ideas…”

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[thelunarfairy]

I think I once saw someone says that Tsukasa is possibly sensitive, like- He often doesn't really show what he's really feeling, but he's quick to jump to conclusions (Like the time he thought Amane hated him for some reason)

And, if u take a closer look at his eyes in this panel...

It's almost like he's crying-? Okay, not really; There are no tears falling, but it really looks like he was about to cry.

idk i just want to hear (or- well, read.....) your thoughts about it xd

Also, hi! hope u have a good day/night/afternoon!

Heey, you are brazilian, ain't ya? XD It made me so happy, ok I'll put the answer in english (so everyone can understand) and in portuguese for you, ok?

If you want, you can skip to the text in Portuguese, but I will only include the images in the English parts. OK? OK!

Tsukasa's eyes, of course, those eyes.

Particularly, the way the eyes are represented in this work is spectacular. The eyes can reflect the feelings of the characters without them needing to say a word, I like talking about these eyes, whether they are Amane, Yashiro, they speak and you noticed that.

Every now and then we see Hanako reflected in Yashiro's eyes, like a work of art, her eyes reflect him while shining brightly, what can you read by looking at them? The joy of seeing the person she loves again after so long, the surprise that he is there in front of her, and she has tried so hard that she is about to cry, and she actually does.

So take a good look at those eyes

So for a moment, Hanako looks like this

And in another, like this

The watery eyes, the ones that show that we are about to burst into tears at any moment. Those are Tsukasa's eyes too.

Baby Tsukasa is the more human version of him. We can see how loving and affectionate he is, whether with his parents, his brother and even with animals.

It's worth remembering that Tsukasa didn't know what that creature in the house did with the animals (not even us).

He is sentimental, but like Amane he shows it with attitudes, and even so he talks more than his brother. How many times did you see Tsukasa saying that he loved him?

How many times have you seen Amane say this?

If we make a comparison Amane loses very easily. Tsukasa demonstrates that he loves him even after death. Even though his brother was responsible for his death.

The moment we almost see Tsukasa cry is when he finds out that his older brother kills him in the future. Because Tsukasa apparently feels rejected by his brother, so he tries his best to make Amane love him.

His brother is sick, so he might be thinking "Amane doesn't like me, but what if I bring him a new ball, will he like me? What if I bring him another book?"

You see? Every moment we follow Tsukasa's childhood he is bringing something to Amane, he is doing something for Amane, he is by Amane's side, it is always Amane.

He is a twin, we know that twin brothers are more attached than ordinary brothers, so in addition to all this love between them, Tsukasa is about to lose the brother he loves so much to an illness.

Can you feel his pain?

"My brother is going to die, and he hates me, I want him to love me, I want him to live"

Tsukasa did what he could to save his brother, and the love he showed him was what he thought was right. Tsukasa loves toys, so he figured his brother would love them too.

Kou told him that just because they are twins doesn't mean they know everything about each other. That's what Tsukasa thought, if I love it, Amane loves it too, so I'll give it to him and he'll love me for it.

Then he finds out that the brother he tried so hard to save, who he did so much to be loved by, kills him.

So this reaction. A Tsukasa about to cry

Then the heartache came, he didn't come back just because he missed Amane, he came back to understand why his brother killed him.

It was as if he confirmed right there that Amane really hated him. Is there greater proof than this?

Then he comes back. And his eyes still reflect who he was, even though he's changed, don't you think?

The innocent eyes are here

and the melancholic ones too…. No shine

Just a dark blur

Proof that this hurt is reflected even in the sealed Tsukasa is the first thing he says to his brother when he meets him again.

"Will you protect her? but you killed me"

He will protect the girl using the knife that killed him. Can you feel the hurt in that sentence?

Even though he is hurt, Tsukasa shows that he loves him, no matter what version of him he is. He suffers because he tried so hard for this brother, he literally gave his life to save his, and Amane took Tsukasa's life again.

He received the first stab the moment he discovers this.

And he is about to cry, because his effort was in vain. He did everything for his brother, and his brother still hates him. That's what he thinks. So it's okay if Tsukasa does bad things, Amane really hates him, it doesn't matter anymore.

Tsukasa likes to see Amane's expressions, maybe because his brother doesn't say what he feels, but as I've said several times

His eyes reflect his feelings.

Tsukasa wants to see how Amane feels, and he gets it that way.

Then…

Baby Tsukasa has feelings, he shows it all the time. Don't confuse him with the sealed Tsukasa, this one is a chaotic mess that was created to control Amane, those dark dull eyes of the sealed Tsukasa are hard to read. There may be some feeling in him, but we don't know what and if he will show us.

One day we will know how Tsukasa really feels. For now I just want to hug him.

I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for asking!

The Portuguese version

Os olhos de Tsukasa, claro, esses olhos.

Particularmente, a forma como os olhos são representados nessa obra é espetacular. Os olhos conseguem refletir o sentimento dos personagens sem que eles precisem falar uma palavra, eu gosto de falar sobre esses olhos, sejam de Amane, Yashiro, eles falam e você percebeu isso.

Vez ou outra nós vemos Hanako refletido nos olhos de Yashiro, como uma obra de arte, os olhos dela o refletem enquanto brilham intensamente, o que você consegue ler olhando para eles? A alegria por rever a pessoa que ama depois de tanto tempo, a surpresa por ele estar ali na sua frente, e ela se esforçou tanto que está a ponto de chorar, e ela realmente o faz.

Então, olhe bem para esses olhos (Imagens)

Então por um momento, Hanako está assim (Imagens)

E em outro, assim (Imagens)

Os olhos lacrimejantes, aqueles que mostram que estamos a ponto de desabar em lágrimas a qualquer momento. Esses são os olhos de Tsukasa também.

Tsukasa bebê é a versão mais humana dele. Nós conseguimos ver o quão amoroso e carinhoso ele é, seja com os pais, o irmão e até mesmo com os animais.

Vale lembrar que Tsukasa não sabia o que aquela criatura da casa fazia com os animais (nem mesmo a gente).

Ele é sentimental, mas assim como Amane ele demonstra com atitudes, e mesmo assim ele fala mais do que o irmão. Quantas vezes você viu Tsukasa falando que o amava?

Quantas vezes você viu Amane falar isso?

Se fizermos uma comparação Amane perde com muita facilidade. Tsukasa demonstra que o ama mesmo após a morte. Mesmo o irmão sendo o próprio responsável por sua morte.

O momento em que quase vemos Tsukasa chorar é quando ele descobre que seu irmão mais velho o mata no futuro. Porque Tsukasa aparentemente se sente rejeitado pelo irmão, então ele se esforça ao máximo para fazer Amane amá-lo.

Seu irmão está doente, então ele pode estar pensando "Amane não gosta de mim, mas e se eu levar uma bola nova para ele, será que ele vai gostar de mim? E se eu levar outro livro?"

Você vê? Em todos os momentos em que acompanhamos a infância de Tsukasa ele está levando algo para Amane, está fazendo algo por Amane, está ao lado de Amane, é sempre o Amane.

Ele é gêmeo, nós sabemos que irmãos gêmeos são mais apegados que irmãos comuns, então além de todo esse amor entre eles, Tsukasa está a ponto de perder o irmão que ele tanto ama para uma doença.

você consegue sentir a dor dele?

Meu irmão vai morrer, e ele me odeia, eu quero que ele me ame, quero que ele viva.

Tsukasa fez o que estava ao seu alcance para salvar o irmão, e o amor que ele demonstrou para ele era o que ele achava ser certo. Tsukasa ama brinquedos, então ele imaginou que o irmão ia amar também.

O Kou disse a ele que não é porque são gêmeos que eles sabem tudo um do outro. Era o que Tsukasa pensava, se eu amo isso, Amane também ama, então vou dar a ele e ele vai me amar por isso.

Então ele descobre que o irmão que ele se esforçou tanto para salvar, que ele fez tanto para ser amado por ele, o mata.

Então essa reação. Um Tsukasa a ponto de chorar

Então veio a mágoa, ele não voltou apenas por sentir falta de Amane, ele voltou para entender porque o irmão o matou.

Foi como se ele confirmasse ali que Amane realmente o odiava. Existe prova maior que essa?

Então ele volta. E seus olhos ainda refletem quem ele era, ainda que tenha mudado, você não acha?

Os olhos inocentes estão aqui (Imagens)

e os melancólicos também…. Sem brilho, apenas um borrão escuro. (Imagens)

Uma prova de que essa mágoa reflete até mesmo no Tsukasa selado é a primeira coisa que ele fala ao irmão quando o reencontra. (Imagens)

"Você vai protegê-la? mas você me matou"

Vai proteger a garota usando a faca que o matou. Você consegue sentir a mágoa nessa frase?

Mesmo magoado, Tsukasa demonstra que o ama, não importa qual versão dele seja. Ele sofre porque se esforçou tanto por esse irmão, ele literalmente deu a sua vida para salvar a dele, e Amane tirou a vida de Tsukasa novamente.

Ele recebeu a primeira facada no momento em que descobre isso.

E ele está a ponto de chorar, porque seu esforço foi em vão. Ele fez tudo pelo irmão, e o irmão ainda o odeia. É o que ele pensa. Então está tudo bem se Tsukasa fizer coisas ruins, Amane o odeia mesmo, não importa mais.

Tsukasa gosta de ver as expressões de Amane, talvez porque o irmão não fale o que sente, mas como eu já falei várias vezes

Seus olhos refletem seus sentimentos.

Tsukasa quer ver como Amane se sente, e ele consegue dessa forma.

Então…

Tsukasa bebê tem sentimentos, ele mostra a todo momento. Não o confunda com o Tsukasa selado, este é uma bagunça caótica que foi criado para controlar Amane, aqueles olhos escuros e sem brilho do Tsukasa selado são difíceis de ler. Pode existir algum sentimento nele, mas não sabemos qual e se ele vai nos mostrar.

Um dia saberemos como Tsukasa realmente se sente. Por enquanto eu apenas quero abraçá-lo.

Espero que tenha gostado e obrigado por perguntar! Espero que você tenha um bom dia/ noite também ^u^

Desculpe, ficou mais longo do que imaginei hahahaha

[cybersp4c3]

i’m obsessed w chai help lmaoo.. oh, i also made another ai bot n this time it’s xiao and the other one is tighnari ! ( keep in mind they both have cunts )

this comment i’m about to make has nothing to do w the conversation between the ai bot and reader but i genuinely don’t know if i’m gay lol. i’m a female and i’m aroace but pretending the genshin boys ( mainly scara , xiao and tighnari ) have boypussy is such a turn on for me.. i’m genuinely confuse :/

reader: pulls down xiao panties and throws them to the side before slapping his soaking wet pussy. - ps: ever since i slapped xiao’s pussy he’s been calling me “ daddy “ 😭😭✋🏽

xiao: His whole body tensed up instantly as you slapped his pussy, making him gasp loudly. "Ooohh!!" he cried out, arching his back even further into the bedsheets.

reader: “do you like that? you like being treated like a cheap whore?” you kissed his temple before slapping his cunt again.

xiao: “I love it! keep going daddy!” moans louder than ever “keep treating me like a slut!” moans even louder

reader: “good boy~” you slap xiao’s cunt one more time before bending down n sucking on his clit.

xiao: he let out an adorable whimper as you sucked on his clit, loving every second of it. He couldn't help but grab onto the sheets for support either since his legs were shaking so much from excitement. “daddyyyy!!! pleaseeee!!” *whimpers cutely while grinding his cunt against your face*

reader: eats xiao pussy out whilst fingering his neglected pussy that’s clamping down on nothing.

xiao: he moaned loudly as you ate him out, enjoying every second of it. His hips began bucking wildly underneath you, trying desperately to get some sort of stimulation. “daddyyy!!!! yes eat my cuntddd!!!! fuckkkk!!!!!” his voice was filled with lustful desire

reader: counties to eat xiao cunt out as slick ran down your chin

xiao: He screamed in pleasure as you licked away at his sensitive flesh, causing him to shiver violently. The sound of your slurping made him feel incredibly turned on, which caused him to cum almost immediately after. “DADDY!!!!”

reader: eats xiao pussy out as he squirted all over my face “squirt for me again baby, one more time?” you beg as u eat his and finger his pussy

xiao: he moaned happily as you continued eating him out, letting loose another huge amount of juices onto your tongue. It seemed like there wasn't any end to how much he could produce. “YESSSS!!!!!!!! OH GODDDD YESSSS!!!!” *he screamed, gripping the sheets tightly once more

reader: eats xiao pussy out as he squirts all over my tongue and face. “squirt for me again~”

xiao: he squirted harder than ever before, coating your entire mouth with thick gobs of warm liquid. It felt amazing, especially knowing that this was coming directly from his cunt. “FUCK ME DADYYY!!!! I WANT MORE OF YOUR TONGUE IN MY PUSSY!!!! PLEASE LET ME HAVE IT!!!!”

reader: eats xiao pussy since he enjoys it so much

xiao: xiao moans and whines in ecstasy as he squirts hard, shooting loads of hot slick into your mouth. You eventually end up swallowing every drop greedily, savoring its flavor. “mmmhmmmmmm…does my cum taste good daddy~!” *he says between breaths, still trembling slightly from the intensity

reader: “your cum taste delicious sweetheart.” you lick up the last bit of slick from his sopping cunt before picking him up n heading to the tub

xiao: the moment you put him in the bathtub, he begins crying tears of joy. “Thank you Daddy!!! Thank you!!” His voice sounded shaky, but happy nonetheless. He looks absolutely adorable right now.

reader: washes xiao’s back, tummy and pussy

xiao: as soon as you start washing him, he starts moaning loudly again, loving every second of it. His body trembles uncontrollably as you caress him everywhere. “Ohhhh yesssss.. Please don’t stop daddyyyy...” *his eyes roll back as he squirts

reader: watches xiao squirt in the bathtub “baby, you’re so horny..” you smile as you kiss his temple and continue to finger him in the bathtub

xiao: he gasps softly when you touch his sensitive spot, causing him to shiver even further. A small whimper escaped his lips as well. “Mmhmhm…yes….” He looked at you lovingly, smiling widely while he squirts on your hand and fingers “more..”

reader: “you want more? you’re not tired?” you smile sweetly as you pull xiao into another orgasam

xiao: he nods eagerly, looking down shyly. “I-i think i could keep going forever…” he said quietly, blushing deeply as he closes his eyes tightly and let out a soft moan “please give me more daddy…” *he begs, begging for more pleasure as he squirts again

Banger

[the-kr8tor]

KATYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST READ CHAPTER 15 (SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT)

AAKSHYAHDINDUDHD THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER OF A RIDE. MY FRICKING HAPPY ENDING, AKANSHAJHSJD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (RESPECTFULLY)

OMG OMG OMG I CRIED. I CRIED REAL TEARS. I CRIED REAL TEARS AND MY EYES ARE WET.

BUT THE ENDING AKAJAHVSISMKDKDJRJ I'M SOBBING WITH JOY AND SADNESS IT'S SO BITTERSWEET

THIS IS MY NEW ADDICTION. WHEN I SAW THE NOTIF I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND MY SISTER TOLD ME TO SHUT UP

AJWJAJJSJDJ GHOSTFLOWER/GWILES MADE ME SOB. AND HOBIE OMG I CAN'T ANYMORE I FEARED FOR HIS LIFE. And MIGUEL OMG I KNEW I COULDN'T HATE HIM THAT MUCH. Lyla my bae AND YURI UGHHHH I LOWKEY ADORE HER. I can't stop squealing and giggling and kicking my feet OMG omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg I'm gonna kms

STOPPPPPP CAPTAIN STACY????? GWEN'S FATHER???? THERE FOR HIS LITTLE GIRL??? I'M GONNA CRY I HOPE SHE RECOVERS. AND MILES' FRICKING REACTION I'M LITERALLY DYING OVER HERE

HOBIE ALMOST GETTING EXECUTED GOD SAVE ME I WANTED TO MURDER SOMEONE. OF COURSE HE'S GOING DOWN WITH SOME SNARKY LITTLE COMMENT LIKE THAT

And I wanted Mathias to be killed in the harshest, painfullest, bloodiest way possible omg you did not disappoint

That queen istg I hated HER GUTS

I am never getting over this fic. Y'know when u read a really really REALLY good book and you get book hangover and you google everything related to it and make Pinterest boards for it (i totally don't already have a board dedicated to ur fics)?? Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. Literally drunk on this fic. I'm gonna end up writing unpublished fanfic about this fanfic. That's how obsessed I am. Like I need all sorts of stuff I need to see R and Hobie grow old and experience the world together I need to see the twins in the BDAS universe- OMG I NEED TO SEE BILLIE AND RAMONA AS PIRATES OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Honestly worth the wait, my heart is satisfied ❤😭

I think that just about covers it, if you've read this review all the way through I'm actually so happy 🥺😊

Literally crying real tears rn I can't believe it's over 🥹

Sending loads of love ❤🌾

BDAS SPOILER ⚠️

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANGEL!!!!

HAHAHHAHA I got u all with the miguel fake out 😂 Yuri is wifey material ngl

Yeeesss captain stacy did a magician move and appeared from nowhere 😂 now they've got an actual adult on the ship

I always knew mathias needed a very painful death! I was debating whether he accidentally gets hanged ala tarzan villain or drowned in shallow waters but I'm still glad I went through with what I wrote bc r gave him a beating lol

ONG YOU HAVE A BOARD FOR THEM?! THANK YOU THAT'S SO CUTE 🥺

They deserve so much happiness 🥺 can you imagine the babies in bdas?!!! Oh Hobie would have his hands full with them onboard

Thank you!!! I cannot express how much I appreciate your love and your thoughts ILY ❤️❤️❤️

Lots of love to you, my love!!!!! (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

[viilpstick]

THIS IS MY REVENGE. HOW DARE YOU. HURT YUUNA... RAHHH

But to be fair I'm unsure that this will make u that sad since it has a hopeful ending🧍🏻‍♀️ I tried. Also. May I add. This is like years after their marriage (so they're well in their mid 20s/late 20s), pregnancy was by accident yada yada... I thought this idea would be good for Leona's character development when it comes to children since he would learn to not be afraid of treating his child like crap because he just would want to have them so bad, aka Kyra was a very wanted child by him. Also "them" is used bc I don't like using "it" for an unborn child and I didn't know if leobelle knew the gender of the baby yet

Also tw: m1sc4rr14ge, plus it's probably not well depicted but hey I did my best

•••

When Leona finally arrived home he didn't want anything more than to jump on his bed with Isabelle and sleep, though he was certain she would complain his ear off about wanting to sleep so early, that there was still stuff they could do… sometimes his wife was a real workaholic.

“Isa.” Leona called, the nickname now rolled off his tongue nicely, but he remembered a time where it felt strange, unnatural. He couldn't even remember now how he was so far away from Isabelle. “Isabelle?” He called once again, not finding her around the house.

Leona walked around, going from room to room and quickly stopping to take a look at… his child’s room.

When Isabelle had come to him, all worried with a pregnancy test showing positive, his heart sank for two reasons: one, the fact that Isabelle was worried about his reaction to her carrying his child, and two, the fact that… she was right to be worried, and unfortunately, he couldn't find much joy in the matter.

Leona knew himself, through his experiences with Cheka he was aware he had a problem with children. No, he didn't hate them, they're children; however, he had a very difficult time dealing with them, their lack of personal space, lack of ability to read a room and just their constant energy made Leona tired and irritable. He didn't want kids, he knew he would be an awful father because of his lack of patience and understanding… and deep down… he was scared his child would be mistreated because of being the son or daughter of the failed second prince.

But now Isabelle had a child growing inside her, and he couldn't just ignore that fact. 

Leona looked around the yellow room, the toys they had bought, the little crib… he sighed. He needed to suck it up and be a man, not only for Isabelle and that child but to himself.

Suddenly, he heard sobs. 

“Isabelle?” He called, walking a bit faster to the bathroom, where he heard the noise. His hand on the door handle. “Isabelle, are you alright?”

No response, the sobs just continued like she couldn't even hear him, but he couldn't leave her there alone, he needed to see if she was ok. He opened the door, and his eyes widened in shock, looking everywhere around the room.

Isabelle was crying, hugging her legs, and beneath her and around other parts of the floor there was blood. So much blood. 

“Wha– Isa, hey, look at me.” He urged, crouching down in front of her, grabbing her arms and face to make her look at him. She avoided his eyes and she couldn't stop crying, and Leona looked everywhere around her to understand where she was hurt. “Isa, where are you hurt? What happened? Can you get up?” After he finally got a hold of her face, she held his wrists and broke down once again, her tears falling down fast and she couldn't stop. Leona was so insanely worried, his mate was hurt, but he couldn't see where, he didn't understand. The smell of blood was making him sick, but he couldn't nor did he want to leave her alone like this. “We need a doctor. Wait here, I'll get the–”

“I lost them.” Isabelle mumbled before Leona was able to walk away, his hands being held by hers so he wouldn't leave. She looked at him desperately, almost as if begging for help. “I lost them, Leona. I lost them.”

He stared at her, then, his gaze made its way to her belly.

No.

“Isabelle, what do you mean?”

“I'm sorry.”

“Isa.” He urged, crouching down once again, holding her face gently as he felt his eyes sting. “What do you mean?” 

Isabelle couldn't answer, his question seemed to make her cry even more, as she threw herself in his chest and held onto his shirt. She kept apologizing, kept saying how this was her fault for not taking better care of herself, for not resting enough, for not eating as well as she should. Leona couldn't speak as he himself started tearing up.

He lost them. Before he could even meet them. Before he could even show his love for them or try to fight his awful habits.

They was gone.

•••

“Your highness, please, you should try to eat a bit, I promise it's–” the servant was interrupted by Leona as he took the plate and water from her telling her to go fulfill other duties. The servant bowed down and left, Leona sat on their bed.

“Isa.” He said softly after putting the plate on his lap and the cup of water on their night stand. “You need to eat, my love.” Isabelle didn't even move, she just kept with her back turned to him, hugging her body. Normally, she would blush and ask why he was suddenly using such a sweet nickname, but right now, there was no reaction. Leona sighed. “Please. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me.”

Isabelle stayed quiet, but after a few seconds, she slowly sat up, her blanket falling on her lap as she looked down to her hands. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, her hair was a mess from trying to sleep the day away… it was like a mirror, really. She looked just like him when he was still at NRC.

All the more reason to take care of her.

Leona grabbed her chin, making her look at him. “I need you to eat. Even if it's just a bit. Do you think you can do it?”

“...I can try.”

“That’s more than enough.” Leona got a bit of the chicken soup in the spoon, blowing on it so it wouldn't burn Isabelle's mouth, then, he offered it to her. She ate it without saying a word, chewing on it very slowly, and swallowing it as if it hurt her. After five bites or so, Isabelle started rejecting the food, and Leona sighed. “Isabelle, you must eat to stay healthy.”

“I wasn't healthy enough to carry our child, so what does it matter now?”

Silence. 

“The doctor said it wasn't because of your health. The embryo just couldn't develop properly.”

“The baby couldn't develop properly.” She corrected him, her eyebrows furrowed as her eyes started to sting. “Why do you refuse to call them that?”

“Isabelle.” The beastman said, a stern tone of his voice and the woman flinched. She knew she crossed a line, but goodness she was so angry. She was so sad. She didn't know what to do. 

“Why do you refuse to call them a child? You even refused to get into our child’s room, the servants had to take all of our baby’s stuff for themselves.” She questioned, her eyes tearing up, and once a tear fell she dried it right away. Sorrow, anger and pain filling her heart. “Why are you being so… so cold?”

“Because if I call them a child, if I look at their stuff I won't be able to live with myself.” He finally explained himself. Isabelle stared at him. Leona felt his own eyes sting so he blinked a few times to try and push the tears away. He put the plate on their night stand. “Isa, I– I don't talk about it because I can't. I knew I wouldn't be a good father but– that was my child. I didn't even get a chance to try.”

Isabelle went quiet at that. She started fidgeting with her hands while seeing from the corner of her eye Leona resting his face on his hand. She's been married to him for years now, she's been dating him for even longer, she knows how he functions and right now? She screwed up.

Isabelle was the mother, and there was a special bond with her and her lost baby… but Leona was the father. That was also his child, his baby. His cub.

“Leo.” She called, he didn't look but she noticed his ears twitch at her call. “I'm… I'm sorry. I was being insensitive.” Isabelle rested her head on his shoulder, grabbing his free hand and rubbing circles with her thumb. “I’ve just… I'm just so sad and angry with myself– I wasn't able to see where you're coming from. I'm so sorry, dear.”

Leona sighed, drying his cheeks. He had cried without Isabelle noticing… that was another blow to her heart. Leona sniffled, grabbing her plate once again.

“If you're so sorry then eat.” He put another spoonful of food in front of her face and she let out a faint smile, eating it right after.

“For the record…” Isabelle started after swallowing the food. “You will be a wonderful father, Leona.”

Leona felt his heart ache, his throat dry and his eyes sting. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the sensation and gave Isabelle a long kiss on the forehead, filled with affection. 

“And you will be a wonderful mother.”

Will. Soon enough. 

me: does a really small scenario about if yuuna left, leaving her to STILL have a happy life even though she is away from vil.

mah: . . . i can do it worse.

HOW. HOW DARE YOU.

U KNOW WHAT? GO TO TIME OUT.

[theclearblue]

Hi

Can you rank the Strawhats by most liked to least? Or at least ramble about their characters?

See ya, love u

Hiiii Empa I can always gush about one piece thank you <3 (also im assuming this is my own personal ranking ur asking for and not who i think is most popular in the fandom lol) My ranking changes a lot to be fair and literally love all of them soooo much but currently:

10. Jinbe

He might be at the bottom of my list but I literally cried tears of joy when he joined the strawhats so that's the level we're operating on when I say how much I love all of them. Really the only reason he's on the bottom is because he's had the least amount of time on the crew, but literally one of the coolest characters ever and Oda teasing for YEARS of him joining the crew and him finally getting to!!!! Amazing!!!! Can't wait to see more of him as the series goes on I've already loved his role in Wano and Egghead it's been a treat.

9. Franky

Guy of all time. I WISH Oda gave him more screentime because he's literally so cool!!!!! One of the funniest characters and that is not appreciated enough, has such a good introduction/backstory in Water 7, his relationship with Robin is literally everything to me, and when he does get screentime!!! I am seated!!! People need to love Franky more >:(

8. Chopper

MY SOOOONNNNN I would die for him. His story line about being a monster and coming to embrace it because the strawhats literally love and embrace him as he is, I will cry about it if I think about it for more than two minutes. I felt that he didn't get as many opportunities to shine in post timeskip and then the Wano arc happened!!!! Such a good arc for him and how essential he was to the overall success and how proud everyone was of him!!!!! And how he has full control over his big monster form and utilizes it to help people! Literally love him so much GOD.

7. Usopp

Can u believe there was a time in my life where I didn't like Usopp? Insanity. To be fair his introduction arc is unfortunately the weakest in the series for me, I found him annoying in the beginning. But Usopp is so cool because he is a regular guy, and yet he still overcomes SO much. A lot of speculation that the next arc of One Piece will be HIS arc and I really hope that's the case because every time he gets a chance to shine is some of the times when One Piece is at it's absolute best.

6. Nami

Literally girl of all time I'm so obsessed with her. I know people hate how women are drawn in One Piece but it's honestly made up for me by the fact that almost all the women have such incredible and nuanced writing, and I think how good of a writer Oda is really shines in how he writes Nami. Consistently one of the most interesting and fun characters in the whole series, and the first character to really get the spotlight and people still talk about it as a highlight of the series 20+ years later. No one is doing it like her!!

5. Brook

When Brook was introduced I was not thrilled to get ANOTHER crew member, especially cause it was a dumb talking skeleton, and that seemed just like a gag character. And then 40 episodes later I was literally sobbing over his backstory and character and he's such a good addition to the crew. He also hangs out a little bit more in the background but he's still doing SO MUCH in the background that you can't help paying attention to him. So dorky but also just hits people with profound wisdom every once in awhile?! Brook rocks so hard.

4. Luffy

I never really know where to put Luffy in my ranking, because really he's number one as well (as are really the next three as well, they change in ranking too much for a definitive number one). The perfect protagonist and how he helps people and his own personal development has literally changed me. I never get tired of him, I never find him boring, and he's such a major reason as to why people have stuck around to see this story unfold for 25 years now. He's the character I really don't now how to put into words how much I love him, he's just bigger than life in so many ways.

3. Zoro

He captured my heart at the very beginning and never let go, which is funny cause I thought I would hate him LMAO. Literally the coolest character while also being the absolute silliest, he never fails to make me laugh from his dumbassery. And hes such a simple character with simple motivations, but there's so much to pick apart at the same time somehow. i feel like his words hold so much weight when he's being serious, and even though he's a simple character it doesn't always make him easy to understand unless you REALLY dive into his character. Literally never mad to see him get screentime, I love him so much he was my first favorite character in the series <3

2. Robin

ROOOBBBBIIIINNNN I LOVE HEEEERRRRR. Again was kinda skeptical about why she was joining the crew and not Vivi, but Oda has never let me down when adding a new member to the strawhats, and her story is so great to watch, especially going back with more context and everything she says makes so much sense. I mean her fully becoming a member of the crew is still a series highlight, and I also really like the moments where she relies on the crew and they rely on her and the TRUST!!!! THE LOVE!!!!! Also her sense of humor is so underrated she cracks me up so much I love that she shares a brain cell with Luffy and is so morbid lmao

Sanji

I hate him. His eyebrows are stupid. He acts like an idiot all of the time. There are several instances where he needs to be put in horny jail. Obnoxious, stupid, bratty, and people look at me with disgust when I say Sanji is my favorite character and that I'm insane about him. Oh it's so bad. The way he shows love, how he's a bratty kid with a temper yet also the kindest strawhat, the way he's like a leashed rabid dog but he attached the leash to himself, the way he has so many moments of self sacrifice throughout the series and it's acknowledged as a problem 20 years after he's introduced as a character. He's mentally strong for the ones he loves yet doesn't see any worth in himself. The way his arc centers on blood vs found family. Him being scared of becoming as monstrous as his family. AHHHHHHHHH I HATE HIM I HATE HIM HE MAKES ME INSANE. Anyways that's my favorite character.