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#UGH i love tragedy
natasha-in-space · 2 months
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[ She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin ]
Sometimes I wonder how Chaewon has to look back on all of her choices that led her to her current path. Isn't it ironic how the same hands that used to heal and soothe, now are bruised and caked with blood? I feel like it'll hit her especially hard after a particularly rough cleansing ceremony she has to officiate. What would her past self think, if she knew this is how she would end up? Anyways, Love Me Dead by Ludo is such a Chaewon song.
Used ref. by KGA Art Class
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charles-jpg · 6 months
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you say i killed you, haunt me then! | coriolanus snow and lucy gray baird
1. lev st. valentine // 2. clarice lispector // 3. anne carson // 4. anne carson // 5. haruki murakami // 6. richard siken // 7. unknown // 8. t.b bliss // 9. brenna twohy
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velvet-paradox · 1 year
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Intense
Fandom: Sleep Token (Band) Pairing: Vessel x Female reader x III Length: Long Summary: Your eepy roommates suggest they can help you out. Warnings: NSFW 18 + ONLY, LISTEN UP PUNK I know what I'm about ok and I shouldn't even have to to explain this but for ffs this is for funsies, fictional purposes only. I don't know these British men and I don't claim to! But am I having an absolute ball listening to them everyday day since I heard Dark Signs??? Absolutely. I have not and will not know peace on Earth ever again so with that being said... my lizard brain wants to shoot my shot and get sandwiched between Vessel and III (purely based off their on stage personas) and I'm pretty sure all us worshippers would enjoy kneeling and begging for forgiveness for all the eepy guys. DON'T LIE TO ME; I'll know. ;) One late night thot lead us down this path so here ya' go, we've got: strong language, explicit content, MFM relations, polyamorous activities, kissing, oral (m receiving), p in v, protected sex, unprotected sex (don't do it!), double vaginal, dirty talking, creampie III is a mess, Vessel is along for the ride and you're indulging in the spoils of detailed smut. Tagging: @synnersaint my ride or die
ENJOY!!!
You stare at the red numbers on the clock next to your bed. You blink.
Unfortunately unfazed by the hum-drum pace and the position you've found yourself in.
Ugh, how did this happen again?
The man on top of you, circling his hips against your own, balls deep in your cunt should be fun, exciting, a turn-on at least but you just laid there, once again, taking it but not getting anything out of it. You faked it the last three times just to get him to get off you, out of your apartment and out the door so you could finish yourself off with some post nut clarity. Which is what you should've done in the first place.
The first time you had sex with him, you chalked it up to nerves. It'd been a few months for him and a bit longer for you at this point. The second time you excused it as you did go out for drinks earlier in the night and the last one was just plain awful. No foreplay, bit your neck too hard and pretty much gave you a titty-twister which was not fun; at all.
But he's nice! And funny, easy to talk to you and here you are, making more excuses for a man who can't even get you off. This is just pathetic, girl.
You felt bad faking your enthusiasm but even as you moved in unison with him, hearing him huff and grate out oh my fucking god for the fifth time, he didn't even have a clue.
So you dialed it up, two more minutes had passed with him just thrusting inside you, he didn't even notice you weren't as wet as before. What a fucking disaster.
You sighed and made your O face, biting your lip and holding his waist, the slapping of skin sped up briefly before he pulled out with a groan of your name, panting as he jerked himself, tore off the condom and came on the inside of your thigh.
Fucking finally.
Your date was quick to get dressed, mentioning something about an early shift change. He gave you chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth, cupping your face as an afterthought as you followed him out of your bedroom.
"I'll text you when I get home. I-- oh!"
You bounced against his back, stunned as to why he's just stopped like that when you peer around his frame. There on the couch in your living room sat your roommates.
"Oh my-- what are you guys doing home?" You asked, frantically looking between the two sober faces and their luggage by the front door. Well more like the painted chin of one and the eyes of the other. You were hyperaware of the drying cum on your leg and crossed your fingers and toes they didn't hear your activities or what remained to be seen.
"We live here, remember?" Vessel waved one of his hands, III nodding along.
"When you said you had roommates I just assumed they were other girls." Your bedfellow side talked to you as to not alert your boys.
"Is that a problem?" You asked.
"No I just uh," he looked at III when he stood, an attempt to intimidate. "It's fine um... I'll call you."
"Well that was rude," Vessel announced, joining his brother after he left. "Didn't even introduce himself."
"He won't be around for long. I wouldn't worry about it." You dryly chuckled before embracing both of them. Vessel cupped the back of your head, pressing his chin into your hair before letting III swoop you up in his gangly arms and gave you two solid spins. "Put me down! You reek."
"Ah, the mask has seen better days I'm afraid. Can't wait to get a hot shower and something in my belly. Road livin' ain't what its' cracked up to be, ya' know?" III admitted.
"Um, let me get changed and I'll make you guys some food," you jogged out of the living room, calling over your shoulder. "Lord knows what you boys eat on the road!" ....
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," You paused the movie and turned to face Vessel on the chaise lounge part of the couch, long limbs sprawled out, ankles crossed and rocking. "What's up?"
Vessel twisted his painted mouth before asking an out of pocket question. "Why do you torture yourself?"
Taken aback you wondered what he meant and crossed your legs. "What? What do you mean?"
"I think you know what I mean." When you showed your genuine confusion, he sat up. "Your little boy toy. Not that III and I have been cheeky little perverts and eavesdropping on your late night escapades but... we can't help but be concerned. Either you're a silent climaxer, some people are and that's totally fine and we're bold to assume or your partner isn't doing it right."
"Excuse me?"
"We've only been home a few weeks and we've heard him far more than we've heard you," Vessel explained, ignoring your anxious fidgeting and cuticle picking. "What we have heard though, is a lot of buzzing after your friend leaves."
Oh. My. God.
Your heart is hammering in your chest, desperate to get out of, out of your body and on the run. Blood pounds in your ears at the audacity of this whole conversation. Your roommates have heard you getting off, know you have toys, know your friends with benefits is lacking the benefits part and that you'd not been taken care of. You wished it was still cooler out and you could grab the usual throw off the back of the couch and hide away underneath.
"What are you guys talkin' about?" III popped in, holding a glass of chocolate milk, an absurdly long and coiled straw was hidden beneath his mask as he sucked dramatically.
Vessel smirked. "Oh just Y/N and how her new beau can't get her off."
"Oh finally! I've been dying for this conversation," III exclaimed and excited plopped down next to Vessel, scooching closer and leaning forward as he drank some more. "So what gives? Give us the goods."
"I don't... he knows what he's doing, it's just--"
"It's just he's bad at it." III giggled.
"I can get off, okay?"
"Yeah, we know that. Just not with him."
"I... fine. It might not even be him you know," you tried. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I can't get out fast enough."
Vessel quirked his mouth. "Get out of what exactly?"
"My own head. I think too much, you know that. I need to feel everything in order to shut my brain off and not worry about how many loads of laundry I need to do, when I need to switch out my sheets, did I pick up my towel in the bathroom? What should I have for lunch tomorrow."
The boys looked between themselves, shrugging and looking bewildered. "You... you think about all that stuff all while having sex?" III snorted and shook his head. "You're a madwoman, you know that?"
"I'm trying not to think of those things!"
"That's what I was afraid of," Vessel took III's now finished drink away from him and set it down. "If you want, we could help you out. Save you the trouble and the energy and uh, some battery power."
You chuckled. "You're joking. You two are gonna' help me out."
"Just say the word and we belong to you," Vessel crooned, licking his top lip. The pink of his tongue was such a juxtaposition to he obsidian black that covered his face, his arms and hands, his body. "This could be a one time deal, if it's not up to your standards, we don't have to mention it ever again or... it could be a three times a week sort of thing."
"Three times a week?!" You screeched.
"That's up to you."
....
"So uh have you guys like... done this before?" Your voice doesn't even sound like your own, shaky, breathy, uneven and higher pitched. You pointed between the duo and yourself. You hadn't but your incognito search history might say you've looked at it a few times.
They admitted their deep rooted feelings about you. Your stomach flipped for Vessel's breathy pet name of Duchess, your toes curled for III's Sweetness. 
With the way they looked at you, you couldn't even remember his name at this point.
Vessel shrugged. "Just with you."
"Just me?" You balked, you knew the guys were close, sometimes skin tight so to find out they'd not acted out was stunning and a major green light. "Oh um, I'm flattered. iI think."
"You should be. III isn't much of a talker, speaks his mind when need be."
"Unless its' dirty." III piped up with a shrug of his own, with the way his eyes wrinkled you could tell he was all smiles under that mask.
"A little tact there, brother!" Vessel scolded him, giving a backhand to his arm. "Don't scare her off."
"What? She should know. You should know. I am dripping with sin."
"III!"
"What? We're all adults here, right? An' we're talking about fucking each other so who cares?! And she might even like it. Do you like dirty talk, sweetness?" III asked with a tilt of his head.
"Uh I um... I. Well..."
"Do you," III stood and got closer, much closer, swaying his way to close the gap between you. He stood with his legs on the outside of your own. He tilted his head the opposite way and kept his eyes trained your face, the heat from the eye contact made you hot. His painted thumb touched your chin. "Like that?"
You'd never felt this kind of intimacy, this heightened level of attraction and arousal and it made you nervously laugh at the thought that it was radiating off your friends like a fucking forest fire.
You swallowed. "Yes."
"Aha! Knew it. Those pretty eyes and that fucking mouth are hiding plenty of secrets, yeah?" III pointed, that thumb of his traced along your jaw before pushing gently on the underside, making you look all the way up at him.
If they wanted to play, you thought, I guess... let's play.
"Maybe."
"Oh! Now we're getting somewhere," III chuckled and looked over at Vessel before touching your shoulder, moving the strap of your sleep shirt back and forth. His hands were hot, scorching your skin as he touched the light fabric. "Should I undress you or should you undress me? Or maybe Vessel wants to unwrap us both. What do you think?"
"I think--" your throat constricted before keeping his ardent eye contact. "I think I want to undress you first."
III liked that idea, he wiggled his shoulders and raised his arms. "I'm all yours, mama."
....
His hoodie is the first thing to go, floating down to the floor. A black compression shirt separates flesh and bone, it comes off easily over his head. He's only half painted there. You can see streaks of his skin, soft and smooth, hidden from view. His stomach tightens when you trail your hand down his chest, foreign to your hands.
"I think about you, ya' know? Not to be pervy or bold but... you are the prettiest thing we've ever seen."
His compliments make you warm, you clench around nothing.
He suddenly grabs your hand and moves it higher. "Feel that. You make my heart fuckin' pound like crazy. The first time I saw you in that green sundress, you know, the one with the little daises on it... fuck me," III admitted and dramatically bit his fist. "I've never been so hard in my life!"
You know the dress in question. It's hanging in the front of your closet. Guess it'll be making a debut and turn III on once again. 
"Oh yeah? Well maybe next time I wear it... I won't wear anything underneath."
III made the deepest of groans, moving your hand down his ribs while he undid his belt. "Fuckin' hell, don't tease me woman."
"You don't like that?"
"I like it too much! That's the problem."
His zipper was so fucking loud, it cut through the room like a hot knife. Smooth and seamless, even Vessel had to clear his throat. You looked over at him on the chaise, legs wide spread, lithe arms outstreatched over the back cushions. With three separate eye holes in his mask, it was hard to tell where he was looking but in this moment you felt them boring straight into your own.
"Keep going," he hummed and visibly bit his lip. " 'm enjoying the show."
With III was just in his boxers, it was your turn. Your disrobing would be a lot quicker as you were in a light pajama set and crew socks. You mmiiced III and raised your arms above your head, his nimble fingers danced over your sides, dragging the material up and over your head. He tossed to Vessel, who out of your peripheral, had inhaled your scent on it. He did the same with your shorts. The rush of cool fan air make your skin prickle, your clit throbbed when you fully noticed the outline of III's cock. Jesus. 
III got on his knees and lifted one your feet, gripping your ankle.
"No. Keep them on." Vessel spoke, pushing himself up off the couch and sauntered over to you, fully nude and on display. He embraced your face, pressing his forehead to yours before slinking behind III when he stood.
Vessel's painted arms looped around III's, locking them behind his back. III made a noise.
"Take him out," Vessel instructed with a low gasp. "Take him out and see what you do to him. Same as what you do to me. Hell, all of us, duchess."
ALL OF US?!
Before you got on your own knees, you touched III's hips, hooking your thumbs just beneath the fabric and dragged them down. His cock made the softest and prettiest thud against his lower belly. Your eyes bounced from their faces, down to his leaking cock and back again.
"He wasn't lying," Vessel chuckled, his chin now draped over III's shoulder. You met his eyes. "You make him rock fuckin' hard, love. Want her to take all o' that? Nah... you need her to take care of that, don't you?"
"Fuck yes." III whined. "Please."
"How are you gonna' help our good boy, love?"
III shook before your even touched him, you on your knees before him was enough to have him looking frantic. Completely at your and Vessel's mercy, you took him in your hand first, getting familiar with his length before dipping your head in worship, opening your mouth. You hesitated for the briefest of moments before angling him deeper and further into your mouth.
It was a good thing Vessel was holding him up because you felt and saw III's knees wobble once you got your stride, gliding your hands up and around his thighs, arching closer with your fingers reaching his ribcage. Your palms against his skin felt every twitch, every jolts, every fucking sigh. The noise that strangled out from his throat when you dragged your nails down his stomach had you clenching around absolutely nothing.
"That's it, you're doing such a good job, love bug. Atta' girl, get 'em off real good, yeah?"
"Yeah yeah, fuck yeah," III whined and bucked his hips, "Your mouth feels so fucking good. Suckin' me off real sweet, mama. Give it to me."
"She's good with that mouth, hmmm?"
"Oh fuck V...wait 'til she oh shit, right there-- wait 'til she's gaggin' on you. O-oh my God."
When III took the Lord's name in vain it sounded so sweet in comparison to your other lover. You could feel yourself getting wetter, more powerful than you ever had with him. You took their words of praise, locked them in a little safe in the back of your mind for safe keeping.
"You're lucky I don't shove your ass out of the way then." Vessel teased and III mewled with delight.
....
III made grabby hands at you, wiggling his fingers as he laid out on the chaise part of the couch. He wiggled, tapped and pointed towards his mouth too.
When you climbed on top of him, his arms engulfed you, bringing you chest to chest. You kissed his face over his mask, startled when he suddenly pulled the chin part of it up to his nose and kissed you for real. You whined and kissed him back harder and faster, tasting his mouth, licking inside of it. He smacked and grabbed your ass, groaning against your lips.
"You two are fuckin divine," Vessel breathed, shouldering off his robe finally, unzipping his own jeans. "Fuckin’ hell, what a sight."
You turned your head to his silky voice, watching him stroke himself.
You were in big fucking trouble.
III nipped your arm. "Want you. I want you so fucking badly. Think it'll fit? Think you can take it?"
You took a breath and held his cock, hot and ready against your pussy. Rocking against the crown, splitting your lips to ready you for him. You licked your lips and lowered down on it, your mouth instantly opening. "Fuck yes."
"Good God!" 
"Shit... a little more, love and you'll take him all the way in. That's it." Vessel cooed and pet your head, then your face. "Kiss him again."
With his heavy hand on your head you kissed III tongue first, the sounds of you two kissing had Vessel praising both of you, leaving him breathless.
III grabbed your hips, rolling and fucking up into you, breathing you in.
You and III stilled at the sudden dip of the couch.
Vessel's hand on your shoulder, his other ghosted and trailed over III's mask and vulnerable chin and mouth behind you. He lost it at that, whimpering against your cheek, a new flood of arousal coating your walls.
"Just relax pretty girl. We've got you, we got you."
"What are you--"
Vessel's thick fingers reached around your front, pressing and swirling down around your clit. "We're both gonna' fit. Just remember to breathe for us, ok?"
Holy shit. This was intense.
III's arm surged up and over your shoulder to touch Vessel, ghosting over his naked hip, gripping his bare skin.
"I've got you both. Trust me."
It was your idea to lift up, empty of III only to arch and take a deep push of Vessel. You frowned and touched III's face when Vessel pulled completely out. You both gasped when he spat. III squirmed and whined, the sudden intrusion of Vessel lining them both up against your hole, wedging their cocks inside you.
It didn't necessarily hurt, more pressure than anything and for fucks sake, you'd never felt so full in your life. 
"Fuck V! Give us a warning, holy fuck." III breathed when the frontman started to rock and move. After a few minutes of fucked out bliss, it seemed like Vessel was fucking III through your body.
He smeared his face along your spine, your shoulder, leaving wet open mouthed kisses along your neck and ear.
"Good fucking God duchess, you are absolutely soaked for us, aren't you? Can feel you really start to open up for us now, yeah? Fuck you're amazing. Isn't she?"
"Ye-yeah yeah. Positively sweet," III's eyes sparkled in an amorous way. You kissed him hard. "Can't wait to have a taste of you, sweetness."
The thought of him working his mouth on you made you keen and fuck down on them.
Limbs twisted and tangled, Vessel nipped a small, incredibly sensitive spot behind your ear before licking the shell of it. Humming and praising you with that gravely timber. He was touching you, holding onto one of your tits for stability and III did the same, using just the pad of his thumb to pebble your other nipple.
You would never recover, that much you were sure of. They were out for pain and pleasure.
On a particularly hard thrust from III your moan slipped into sex drunk chuckle. "I think she likes it."
"I'm in fuckin' heaven." You breathed, reaching back to touch Vessel's thigh, digging your nailbeds in deep.
"That's it, you fuckin' naughty thing." His hand left your breast and found a new home around your throat, turning your head to face him and receive a sloppy kiss. III moaned at that.
"You two are fuckin-- ah shit. I'm close, fuck. Give it, give it to me."
Vessel's laugh against your lips made your walls constrict.
"Just like that!" III practically yelled, digging his fingers into your thighs, alternating to your hips, changing the tortuous pace. "Fuck, 'm gonna' bust, sweetness. Fuckin' cum inside you all nice and deep. Make it stick."
"Fuck me." You hung your head and rode it out, nothing but pure pleasure and bliss was shared between the three of you. And it was worth it. "Oh you guys... aha! I'm gonna' cum."
You couldn't remember the last time you came that hard with a partner and never with two! They both rubbed their hands and mouths over your skin, groping over your sandwiched body. Vessel's chest stuck to your back like glue, III grabbed and pushed both of your breasts together as he came shortly after with a grunt of your name, stringing along a beautiful array of obscenities. 
"I've got you, I've got you both in my clutches now." Vessel's voice sounded like silk on glass next to your ear as he continued to thrust, spearing III's load all over your gummy walls. III reached out a lazy hand and Vessel took it, lacing their fingers together over your shoulder. 
Skin on skin on skin.
III leaned up for another smooch with you greedily enjoyed, smacking your spit and lips together until all you could feel and hear was Vessel shudder behind you.
....
Vessel couldn't stop smiling as you giggled, helped to your bedroom, wedged between them on your bed as they cleaned you up. You would certainly need to clean up that side of the couch later. III was careful of your more tender bits, being stretched out and filled, removing black grease paint of where they were.
He drummed his fingers over your arms when he was finished, molding his body to yours. His head against the side of your neck. III soon joined in the snuggle, jumping into bed and under the covers with you. He gave you another kiss before pulling his mask back down, and pet Vessel's head.
Your phone buzzed when your boys had fallen asleep, you had a feeling of who it might be and if this is how the future looked; there was no way you were gonna' give this up.
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annimir · 11 months
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local rich boy wants the one thing he can't have
they're so impossible <3 I just love the YEARNING UGH
also yes i did change my url from pommipo to sofinaut!
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vialae · 27 days
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In another life.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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I love you The Terror fandom 🖤 The way you talk about those old men is unhinged 🖤
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stardustedknuckles · 3 months
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It would just be so easy for Steel to start behaving overtly controlling and War-minded at literally any point (seeking control and owning up to what that means) and at that point it would become easy to dislike her and her sway over Suvi but that's not the POINT, she is GENUINELY wise and so, so brilliant and she loves Suvi so truly and she is infuriatingly level headed and sincere in her efforts to help and so very kind, and I love her character more than I can adequately put into words and the inevitable clash of ideals, the rift that will and must develop, is going to destroy me. Because I genuinely don't know if Steel could choose Suvi over the empire and in fact I think it's pretty clear that she wouldn't, but that does not diminish the love she has for Suvi and the two things being true simultaneously have me biting the air. Steel is a goddamn masterclass in examining characters who act from fundamentally kind intent within a twisted framework of lifelong indoctrination and beliefs that have taught her a distorted view of what that should look like. Bringing the empire's light to the world is the ultimate kindness to her, and she wants nothing more than to be a key part of the mechanism by which that will happen. Because it will happen. And we're not told this, we're shown a brilliant and devoted mother figure who will stop at nothing to make a better world in the image of the empire her life belongs to.
Every single time something goes wrong with Ame and/or Eursulon (and even Suvi) I brace for the kind of overbearing "us VS them" mentality that never comes. She genuinely wants collaboration and answers so she can help. she very much means well, as do they all. It compels the absolute hell out of me.
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forcedhesitation · 8 months
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youtube
Man.
there's just something about the love between a woman whose impending death is inevitable and a man who's an immortal undead...
#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#starlach is so beautiful but so fucking tragic#apparently you cannot save karlach as astarion unless you've ascended#you cannot join her in avernus as a spawn :(#bro and it kills me karlach has been unwillingly celibate for 10 years#but that doesn't matter. she loves astarion SO MUCH she just wants to be with him. however she can.#AND THE FUCKING KISSES????? dude she is SOOO gentle with him!!!!!!!!#makes me think of this one short french film. which is obv a bit different from karlach and astarion's romance.#but it's still about valuing the love you have while it's there. because it can be lost so so easily.#basically a husband is cheating on his wife but then his wife falls terminally ill. and so he takes care of her.#and while taking care of her he realises just how much he loves her. he stops seeing the other woman. and stays with his wife to the end.#just the devotion he shows her in her remaining time alive and then the final shot where he's alone and just. dumbstruck with grief....#I saw this film years ago and it still sits with me. it was so beautiful and tragic. very french! lmao.#just makes me think of starlach in a way though. like the beauty of that limited time karlach and astarion would have together.#and the fucking tragedy that would be karlach dying and astarion...immortal astarion.... being alone again.#ugh MAAAN!!!! starlach and wyllstarion and wyllach are all SUCH good pairs#they offer a veritable buffet of the most wonderful. tender. and tragic romance tropes T____T#I have to give credit where credit is due. thank you larian for two VERY fucking good m/f pairings.#so easy for writers to come up with piss poor m/f romances that have no chemistry but karlach works SOO well with either astarion or wyll.#i wish the fandom wasn't. well as fandoms normally are. you know. 😒#literally any of these three pairs SHOULD be the most popular imo.#if you disagree- that's your own opinion. I am not here to fight with people.#also one last thing? the youtube poster's icon fucking KILLED me. please look at it.
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emily-mooon · 6 months
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Thinking about Capvers
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eilarae · 7 months
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so my bestie is playing undertale genocide for the first time semi-blind. like she knew it existed, that u have to kill everyone, and about the extra hard undyne and sans fights, but that's pretty much it. and lemme tell u.
seeing her reactions to details i have seen so many times and started kinda taking for granted? it's just DELIGHTFUL.
her tangible unease as she experienced the "but nobody came" message for the first time.
her jaw ACTUALLY DROPPING in horror as toriel fell in just one single hit.
the absolute dismay as a decapitated papyrus tells her he still believes in her.
pretty sure i saw actual tears in her eyes during that whole sequence, actually. she mentioned afterwards that she was looking forward to undyne kicking her butt, since she clearly deserved it.
this game is just so good :]
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eddies-spaghetti · 6 months
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I’m thinking about the league a lot tonight.. i kinda feel like i’m gonna cry now
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the-angel-ashe · 19 days
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i’m being put through the emotional wringer with this game, heavens
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 month
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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julystruck · 4 months
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I don't think we're going to make it
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seelie-buddy · 4 months
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Guess who's having a math test tomorrow but, instead of studying, I'm feeling like writing some angst because inspiration hits at the most random times.....
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gmaybe666 · 1 year
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felt weirdly triggered by the newest succ episode, like the exchange between Roman and logan at the end and connor disavowing love. left me feeling kinda funky all day, the cycle of abuse and learned behaviour within a close family is real and insidious and some of us can’t escape from it , it mirrors my own experiences with my parents and that pain of being unable to escape this dark force that you ‘love’……:) blah! idk just nonsense thoughts
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