#UM HOLY COW

[sixxtytoo]

@twunk-ouma thinkin about ur shirokawas.......

[conquered-gnomes]

Just an absolute crap ton of cow & art history drawings I did for class

Can you tell which eras/works each picture was inspired from?

[muirneach]

oh my god its towel day what the fuck. the passage of time

[satellitekingdom]

i love that hera was really designed by someone whose username was "pewdiecryship" of all things. pewdiecryship from didlr, if youre out there i wanna know how you're doing and if you even like these youtubers anymore

[fountainpenguin]

Okay, so I left this note in my "Operation: Birthday Takeback" liveblog:

omg, Dev needs his godparent to stand up for him against Vicky and Peri's having a MELTDOWN and hiding behind his mom. Um??? Holy cow, I've never seen him break like this, except maybe when he gained his fear of the dark in "Lights Out."

I decided to go check if I was right and... Hm.

Good to know!!

Bonus pics

[echantedtoon]

A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch2

(Warnings: Some men being creeps towards Y/n, possibly some innuendos. Mentioned drinking and throwing up. Yn's bad date gets drunk.)

A  soothing plot of violin music danced with echoed tones throughout the square shaped room. The lovely music beating from the speaker system in the upper right corner. The softness of the melody was married to the surrounding ambience of silverware colliding with porcelain, clinking of glasses, and the soft sweet murmuring of voices. 

A quant little scenery to beheld a romantic gesture. A meeting of courtship. Possible start of love.

Eating in such a luxurious restaurant was not something she expected to be doing today.

Dim candlelights and low lights added that soft glow to the blue colored walls. A beautiful small chandelier handing up right in the center for a piece of class catching the glow in sparkling crystals. A pretty sight for sure. The sounds of at least three couples enjoying their nights of passion and love humored the beautiful room making it alive and more beautiful as they sat among the the beautiful cherry wood tables sitting in plush chairs and smiling amongst the lit candles on their white laced tablecloths.  An elderly couple in their golden years smiled at each other lovingly as the husband held his wife's hand shakily but still with love that lasted decades. No doubt a new couple right across from them trapped in the enchantment of first love's fire burning bright. A third one no doubt also enthralled with one another in the moment.

The slight itch of eyeshadow caused a woman's eyes to slightly blink and look around towards the surroundings. A slight frown dusted lipstick colored lips as they turned back to the candlelight in front of f/c orbs.

"Are you ready to order now, Ma'am?"

You jumped at the sudden soft voice. Blinking and directing your eyes towards the person who suddenly appeared in front of you. A generic waitress in black and white uniform smiling that familiar customer service grin, pen and paper at the ready to write down the wishes of the customer's taste buds.

"Oh! No. I uh-.. Well you see-" Eyes glanced towards the beautiful antique looking grandfather clock I the far left wall. According to it it was six o seven in the afternoon. Two hours and seven minutes from when you were supposed to meet with a certain person. "Um. Yeah. No." An awkward smile was given. "I-I'm still waiting for someone."

The waitress gave a look. A knowing one that probably said more about the situation but didn't comment on it as she turned and simply walked away from you. The awkward smile persisted more until she left you sitting there. Frowning again and staring down at the empty plate. The sigh that left your lips was loud and if you weren't far from most everyone else then you would've probably gotten looks. 

"You sound as if you are saddens by something."

You jumped once again as a deep voice spoke and you turned all the way around. . And you stared. A few seconds in you realized you were staring at the back of a large torso, and part of an arm. Blinking your eyes slowly trailed up and up and up-

"I apologize if I am too forward. I just couldn't help but notice that you were sounding a bit distressed."

You stared up in shock and see at the man behind you. Holy cow. He was..very tall. A head of black hair and tan skin greeted you as well as a pair of pure white eyes. The entire image took you off guard but you were more surprised that someone like him was able to come into the restaurant and you didn't notice. Were you that distracted?

"Uh. N-No." You held up a hand. Don't know why, if his eyes were like that then he was most likely blind. "Im meeting someone. Well I-I'm supposed to be." You turned back around and craned your neck to look around... however you sighed in defeat. "At least that was the idea."

"A date?"

"Blind date actually." You deadpanned sighing again. "My aunt, she's a matchmaker and this was all her idea."

"Ah. That is very kind of your aunt to arrange."

"Not really. The last few have been quite terrible." 

"Oh? How so?"

Where should you start?  How about the first time where your date looked nothing like his age or picture from the profile your aunt found? The man was old enough to be your grandfather! Thank goodness for the call your mom put in to ask how the date went, couldn't fake an emergency call faster. Or how about the time she set you up with a narcissist 'freelance nutritionist' who insisted your slight pollen allergy was because you didn't hear about his MLM pyramid scheme- You mean his totally legit dietary plan he was gonna sell to you for only a hundred dollars!!..You blocked his number after nearly twenty texts from him asking when you were gonna buy his 'diet plans'.

Or how about the time your aunt surprised you by setting you up on a blind double date with your cousin, her boyfriend, and his brother!! Which you didn't know was a date and you thought you all were only hanging out until said boyfriend's brother tried to kiss you, poured his drink on your shirt when you refused, and stomped off leaving you shocked and covered in lemonade. And then you had to call a taxi home because your cousin's boyfriend got made at YOU for making his brother angry and left you at the mall alone. Thank God for taxi services.

Or how about the guy you met at the bar who was already drunk when you arrived and threw up all over your car when you drove him home?Or how about the time you had lunch with that librarian? He was very nice, polite, maybe a bit paranoid and you found out why when his WIFE carrying a five month old baby stormed into the cafe and started loudly cursing both her HUSBAND and you out. 

You stopped going on dates after that and had a VERY firm and long talk with your aunt about her meddling with your love life. You only agreed to go on one last date because some rich people had paid your aunt to set him up with a girl. ANY girl. Apparently they were desperate to get him to meet some people. You only agreed because your aunt needed the job badly and you were promised a free dinner for your efforts. 

So with your permission, your aunt showed the guy a picture of you and showed you a pic in return. Recent according to his parents. Taken at a relative's wedding. You had to admit, he didn't look so bad. Pretty normal with wavy but short brown hair and matching brown eyes, average height and weight for a man at twenty four. From what your aunt told you he's a local college student majoring in computer sciences and from her interactions he's pretty forward but nice when they spoke in person. Ok. She gave you thirty dollars to buy yourself a free dinner so it's not too bad.

You did receive his number and had a brief conversation with him. He sounded normal if a little bored sounding, but you both agreed to meet at a nice restaurant called The Tuttles' Bar and Food at four the following Thursday. And that following Thursday you got dressed up nicely and went to go meet him. Arriving a few minutes early, and sending a quick text to him.

Y/n: Hey. I'm here a bit early!

Jake: K

Y/n: I'll wait for you inside. Ok?:)

Jake: Sure. At a friend's so imma be late.

Y/n: That's ok. I'll be sitting on the right side. See you soon.

So you went in and sat down and waited. And waited. And waited some more. Until two hours and seven minutes (and counting-) went by. You did send him a text thirty minutes in.

Y/n: You still coming?

Jake: Yep! Just left the house 

And then another one two hours in.

Y/n: Hey. Did you get lost or something? I've been waiting for nearly two hours now.

Left on read.

Y/n: Do you need directions? You ok?

Left on read.

Y/n: Look. If you don't want to go on a date at least tell me so I can just know you're not coming.

No answer. Not even left on read this time. 

You were very frustrated but decided to be nice and give him ten more minutes before you got up and just go get take out with the money your aunt gave you. It was six o' seven so only three minutes left to go before you left. 

"Well I think I'm being ghosted." You shrugged despite knowing that the stranger couldn't see you at all. "I haven't seen him for over two hours. Won't even answer my texts. What about you? Waiting for someone?"

He smiled. "Goodness that does sound rude. No." He shook his head. "No. A good friend of mine recommended this place to me for the excellent steaks they serve. I happened to be in the area visiting the local shrine and figured I'd stop by."

"Ah. That sounds quite nice, Mister-"

"Gyomei Himejima." He nodded towards you. "How do you do, Miss?"

"Y/n. Y/n L/n.  It's nice to meet you, Mr. Himejima."

"Please call me Gyomei. Mr. Himejima was my grandfather."

You smiled happier looking at Gyomei before glancing over at the clock again. Six o' ten. Whelp looks like your waiting time was up. "..It was very nice to meet you Mr- I mean Gyomei, but I think I better get ready to go." You were already reaching for your purse. Since you didn't eat anything you didn't have to pay at least. Oh well. Take out night it was. 

"A pleasure. I do hope the rest of your night is we-"

A loud woman's yelp of pain caught both of your attention as you looked back forward and blinked.

"Whoops. Sorry 'bout that lady." 

You blinked and only watched as none other than your date stumbled in, literally stumbled. Walking a bit wobbly like he was dizzy and stopped a moment as a waitress looked on with a glare. He stopped with a large grin on his face. He looked around and spotted you before wobble-walking his way over and with a grunt plopped him down in the chair across from you, bumping the table and making the candle holder. You gasped and thankfully grabbed the candle holder before it could tip over and light the pretty tablecloth on fire.

"Hoo! Man what a party. I'm telling you that last round was a killer. Never try chugging lemonade in the middle of an eating contest." 

You stared at him still. "Uh..." You hesitated gently grimacing at the sight of him. "Jake?"

"That's me."

....The picture you saw didn't do him justice. Photo Jake looked nice. Not really fancily dressed up but nice looking. THIS Jake did not look the least bit presentable. He literally looked like he just got out of bed, messy hair, eye bags, and all and looked disheveled like he was hit by a giant gust of wind on the way here. Shirt untucked and partially opened, and lightly dirty by the looks of it. All his clothes were wrinkled and...

"Is that a lipstick stain?" You pointed at his collar but he didn't seem bothered in the slightest.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Won a lucky strike at spin the bottle." His hand flicked his collar before he leaned back in the chair and looked nonchalant. "Speaking of lucky. Dam! I didn't know that my date was cute." A shiver ran down your spine at the way he slowly looked you up and down like he had xray vision. 

"Uh-...*ahem* S-So!" You pushed an awkward smile onto your face. "I'm starving! Let's get something to eat!"

"Great idea! I could eat a fucking horse."

You only chuckled nervously however neither of you were aware of the larger spectator, tilting his head slightly at the table behind him.

"Are you ready for the check, Sir?"

".. Actually I think I'll get a small appetizer."

You managed to wave down a waiter this time who smiled at you both and handed you a menu each. Asking you what you'd both would like with a notepad and pen at the ready.

"Mm. This all looks so good!," you broke the ice gazing over the items in your price range. "You know it's my first time coming to this place? Have you been here before?"

"Uh huh. That's nice babe." He bluntly stated looking boredly at the menu before just closing it with an eye roll and tossing it back onto the table. "Hey, buddy. Be a pal and get me some of that beef wellington ya got there and some red wine. And..cremd brulee stuff. Y'know what. Scratch that. Just bring me the whole bottle." He motioned towards the other man.

 If the waiter was annoyed with his actions he didn't show it. Only nodded and wrote down what he said. "And your partner?"

You opened your mouth-

"Yeah. She'll have a small salad and water. No sides. Now hop to it."

Your jaw dropped in shock brain processing for a moment as the waiter nodded and turned to walk away from you all.

"A-Actually I'd like a-" It was too late. The waiter was already gone before he could get a chance to hear you. His footfalls faded away before you slowly turned back to the bored looking man. "Why'd you do that?'

"Huh? Do what?"

You felt yourself frown. "Order for me. I didn't ask you to oder anything for me, and I didn't want a salad."

"What? Are you trying to get fat or something?"

Once more you felt your jaw drop in the audacity of this man .. before deeply inhaling through your nose. It's ok. This is fine. At least your food would be fast to eat and cheap. You'd buy yourself a burger on the way home and forget about this entire thing. 

"So. Jake. My aunt told me you're majoring in computer programming", you tried changing the topic again. "That's really interesting. I'm taking online classes for baking and pastry arts myself! I'm hoping to start my own bakery!"

"Oh. You cook?" He finally looked not bored slightly.

You happily nodded. "Yes!"

"What stuff you cook?"

"All kinds of stuff really but mostly stuff like cupcakes and bread."

"Eh. Don't really like that stuff too much." That's ok. Not everyone had a big sweet tooth. "But you cook so that's one redeeming quality for you. Girls don't want to do anything useful anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"Bless you. But that's what she told you? Pfft." He rolled his eyes again pointing at you. "I'm only taking the dam course to make my old man happy. But the real money is in marketing! You ever heard of ai generating?"

"....Oh."

Oh God. He was one of THOSE. 

"Um. Actually maybe we should see if our foods ready-"

"It's like giving a computer a brain," he ignored what you said talking over you and pointing his hands together. "But it's not self thinking see. It's more like a search bar online except you can use it for actual useful shit! Like I can make a website for people to pay me and then they can create stuff they want! I can even use it to write like reports and stuff! Y'know how many people doing those impossible classes would pay for something like that?! I'd make more money than my old man over night!"

If it didn't smear your make up you would've rubbed your face in frustration. He continued onwards speaking about ai generating programs and what he wanted to use it for. You think he even forgot you were literally sitting there for a while going on about his stupid rant. Until your saving grace arrived in the form of food. Oh thank gods! You swore you could've kissed that waiter as he brought over a tray of food. Wine, beef wellington, and a fancy desert for him....Water and the world's sorriest excuse of a salad for you.  This didn't even come with dressing. 

"So like I was saying." 

He spoke up pulling at the cork of the bottle until it went flying with a pop and instead of pouring it into the nice wine glass the waiter provided him, he tilted his head back, brought the bottle to his lips, and just straight up started chugging the wine! You could only watch dumbstruck as he gulped it back. Others stared at you and your 'date'. One woman even muttered something that sounded like 'oh my' before he just slammed the bottle back on the table and messily wiped his mouth on his sleeve.

"I'll pay one of those techno wizards to make the website for me and add like a security system and like a password stuff for only me to get into. Everyone else is gonna pay for it."

...you just started to silently eat the salad quickly. It gave you an excuse not to talk and the faster you finished it, the faster you could leave the guy going on about just being lazy in life and messily chewing the food between words grossly. You just continued to not make eye contact as he continued spouting off whatever. Chugging down wine and gobbling up the fancy food you were sure glad you didn't have to pay for. 

"So IIIIIII said why dontcha just shut up and dooo it yourself ??? Cuz like m not doing anything for a dam ass asshole who owes mmmmmeee fifty bucks already." He slowly started to slur his words swaying a bit in his seat. Food dripped onto his shirt and pants leaving stains no doubt. "Hhheeyy. Arencha gonna eat that?"

"I think I lost my appetite."

THUNK!!

You gave a small shriek pulling your hands up from the table as without warning he slapped an arm across the table and grabbed your plate. The fork in your grip clattering to the floor as he dragged what was left of your food and dragged it over to him.

"Gimme! Ill eat the dam thing." Without even a pause he continued what he's been doing just chugging down the bottle and eating. "You're rrrrrreeeeaallllyyy good lookin' y'knooooww that? But if ya gonna be wit me ya gotta drop the wwwwwwhhhhooollleee silent act....Acccctually scratch that. I-I like ya better like that. Nnnn  when ya cook n cleeeeeaaannnn tooooo and*BURP!* Give my fiuuuuckin kiiiids a-a-....Did ya knnnoooow I'm dealing with any girls?? I got too many women in my dam family already.."

"Are you drunk, crazy, or both?! Because I think it's both!!" You scowled at him with hatred now. "I think this date's over now. Is anyone picking you up?'

"My pppppaallbut good idea.. we can go back to my pla-"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!" You snapped around and locked eyes with the nearest waitress staring wide eyed at the sight. "Can I have the check please?! And quickly!"

A loud burp caught your unfortunate attention back to Jake before he stood up. Jostling the table and pushing it forward to shake everything on it, including your water that thankfully didn't spill on you but it did spill across the table. 

"What is wrong with you?" You shouted to him grabbing the table and stopping it before it could ram into your stomach. Another loud burp enveloped from his maw. "Uh! That's disgusting. At least say excuse me."

"Ah shuddap! Girls don't know what a real man is anymore thanks to feminism!! I'm a nice guy!"

"Oh dear gods. You're one of those too?!"

"Fuuuaasck ok!! I'm going just gggggooooo now-" He made a grunt sound as he looked into the barrel of the bottle and now decided to messily pour what was left into the wine glass(that somehow miraculously didn't fall over when he scooted the table up) and then dropped the bottle with a thunk when the glass was mostly full. "Look at that. I still got summm." He slurred his words shakily grabbing the glass and smiling at it. "IS FULLLLL..LOOKIT!!'

Time seemed to slow down as he thrusted the glass forward towards you. Red liquid toppled through the air turning over and over. And then a loud splash sound permeated the air as it mFe contact along the table and the fabric of a cotton candy pink dress. You shrieked out as red liquid splashed across the front top of your dress before you shot up. Looking down at yourself as it ran from the top of your dress to about four inches above your knees in a splattery line pattern. The wetness already seeping through your dress and sticking to the skin. You shot up to your feet looking down at yourself as your 'date' did nothing but messily drink on the empty cup before stumbling and dropping the glass. It shattered beside him as he wobbled on his feet and blinked at nothing really. 

"I don't feel so good."

You didn't even bother looking up when you froze hearing a wet splattering noise as soon as he turned around and one of the other ladies sitting in the restaurant screamed like in one of those horror movies. You could only stand there numbly and stare at yourself. 

"Hey...I didn' bring mah wallet. Can ya cover dis??"

You stood there still staring at nothing but your filthy now stained dress in the middle of the mess he made feeling the stares of everyone else around you staring...And then you just started crying. Crying, and crying as big tears rolled down your face and made your mascara run in black globs down your cheeks. Jake didn't pay attention just stumbling around a bit out of his mind. 

"So like...can you pay? Then I can like pay ya back a different way- *BURP!!*"

A hand extended over to make a grab towards the shaking woman's arm. However whatever motion was made was completely stopped by a much larger hand wrapping itself tightly around the arms enveloping it entirely. A mountain of muscle and body turned from where he had reached around to stop him. Drunken glazed eyes blinking at the whites of clarity thinking.

"I think that you have done enough. Why don't you step away from the table like a gentleman?"

You didn't hear what was said behind you. Only crying and staring at yourself but at one point you sat back in the chair as Jake stumbled off somewhere else entirely as you sat there still crying and sobbing.

"Excuse me, Miss." You flinched looking up into the eyes of a waitress that gave you a frown of pity. She gingerly held out a small piece of paper. "My manager asked me to give you this check."

Oh finally! It was about time! You just wanted to pay for your food, go home, and forget that this ever happened. You sniffled a little more wiping at your eyes staring at your bill.. before your eyes nearly popped out from your skull seeing what was listed on it. 

Beef Wellington: $100.54 Red Wine: $60.50 Small Salad: $10.95 Creme Brulee: $13.70 Tip:$37.00 Total:$ 222.69

$20 TC

$5 WG

You stared at it wide eyed and jaw dropped looking at it, then at the still empathetic waitress, then back to the bill. Again and again... Before pointing at it.

"W-What?" Was all you could say.

"Your partner wasn't able to pay and there's the additional damages to the tablecloth and wine glass, Miss." She explained pointing a hand to where it said 'tc' and 'wc' on the bottom of the bill. "That's what these stand for."

You stared gobsmacked at her. "B-But...I only had a salad! I-I didn't even do any of this!" 

"I know but someone has to pay and your 'date' already left."

"WHAT!?"

"Excuse me?" Both of you looked up. An older man in a normal pair of clothes looked the both of you over. "Which one of you is Y/n L/n?"

You sniffed. "Who are you?"

"Your obor driver. I was called to meet you here in advance."

You stared confused. "...I-I didn't call an obor."

"Really? Well the guy waiting in the car says you were going to pay for his ride home." Your mouth dropped as he held up a hand. "Look. All I know is that the bill's in your name and I can't go anywhere unless I'm paid, and I need to be paid anyways for coming out here."

"Wha- I-...H-How much?"

"It's eighty for the entire trip here and where he told me he wants to be dropped off."

You only stared at the both of them before just looking down at the bill now weighing more heavy in your hands ..and your hands shakily reached out for your purse and the card inside. You weren't going to be responsible for a drunk idiot not getting home safely, and you just wanted to go home. In total you paid three hundred twenty seven dollars and sixty nine cents. 

Two hundred twenty two dollars and sixty nine cents was for the entire food bill, most of which you didn't even eat, including a twenty percent tip for the waiter! Twenty five dollars for the damages you didn't cause! And an extra eighty dollars just to make sure the idiot who caused your entire terrible experience didn't get hurt wondering around like a drunken idiot!! By the end of it you didn't have enough money to pay for a taxi ride yourself or for decent food!! And you were still covered in runny make up and wine and smelt like alcohol! 

You just paid and rushed out as fast as you could to avoid the eyes still staring at you. Breathing a sigh of relief when the smell of alcohol and barf was finally behind you. Standing outside on the sidewalk and breathing a sigh of relief to the fresh air. At least that Jake was gone so this night couldn't get any more worse-

SPLASH!!

"AH!?"

You shrieked out as a car drove past you quicker than the legal limit. Hitting a rather large and VERY muddy puddle in front of you sending it flying through the air and splashing all over you as it raced past and into the setting sun's light....You stood there drenched as dirt clung onto you and your hair cling onto your face. Comically a glob of mud ran down your arm and dropped onto the wet sidewalk as the first rounds of another round of rain rumbled above you in thunder. 

...A fresh batch of tears started up in your eyes as the first few drops of rain hit your shoulders.

That's how you found yourself completely drenched walking home in the pouring rain, filthy, your heels just shoved under your arms from how sore wearing them so long had made your feet, most of your money gone, humiliated, clothes completely ruined, and- Your stomach rumbled again louder and completely empty. That sorry excuse of a salad not filling you at all(you didn't even eat the whole thing) and you didn't have enough money to buy yourself anything. You guessed it was going to be another instant ramen night. You were too tired to fully cook something and by the time you got home it'd be really late anyways.

Your feet hit the sidewalk with each step you took making a small splash sound. Well..At least now it couldn't get any worse. 

"Miss?"

You squeaked again jumping in your spot before whirling around and finding yourself face to face with a torso..you blinked before looking up, up, up and staring into the eyes of the tallest blind man you've ever seen with his coat slung over his arm.

"Oh. Mr. H-Himejima-"

"Gyomei."

"Gyomei." You sniffed and wiped at your face. Wouldn't do a bit of good as you stood in the pouring rain. At least this guy had a comically large umbrella keeping him dry. "L-Look. If you want something O-Or if your food got ruined too I can't pay for it-"

"Goodness no. I'm not here to demand money of you." His large hand held up a purse comically small in his palm. "You forgot your purse at the restaurant. I had to catch up to you to return it."

Your eyes widened. "My purse!" You reached out to quickly take it from him immediately. You couldn't believe you forgot about this. "I can't believe it." You looked back up to him smiling. "Thank you so much!"

He smiled wider at you. "I would've returned it to you sooner but I wanted to be sure that man didn't try to harm you again and by the time I came back I couldn't find you anywhere in the restaurant."

"Y-Yeah. I did leave pretty quick. But thank you for this. You have no idea how much I appreciate it-"

*GROWL!*

You both paused as your stomach growled rather loudly making him tilt his head and you flush a pink from how loud your stomach growled.

"Your stomach? I take it you're still hungry."

"Um..Y-Yeah. B-But I can't eat until I get back home. You see I-I had to pay for everything back at the restaurant."

"Why don't I but you dinner then?" His head looked straight up. "By the smells in the air, there's a burger place just around that corner." 

"Oh no. You've already been a big help. I-I can't ask you to pay for me." You stopped talking when something thick and black fell over your shoulders. It took a few seconds for you to realize that it was a giant jacket. 

"I insist." He stepped closer. Not enough to make you uncomfortable but enough to shield you from the ran with his umbrella. "You've been through quite enough tonight. The very least I can do is treat you."

"Well. .. Alright B-But nothing very expensive. I don't want to be a bother."

"If it was truly a bother I wouldn't have offered."

It was a short walk around the corner and to a small hole in the wall burger joint. You were actually shocked by him when he reached over and pushed the door open before you could grab the handle.

"After you."

"Oh..Thank you."

The inside was warm and dry and completely empty except for a surprised looking cashier in the front. Guess she wasn't expecting a literally giant and a girl looking like she literally almost drowned in a mud hole to come walking in through the door. Not that you blamed her. You looked a mess.

"Order whatever you'd like." He smiled at you. "it's my treat."

"Uh. C-Could I just get a plain cheeseburger and some fries?"

The cashier slowly nodded still staring wide eyed at you both. "Uh...D-Do you want a d-drink with that?"

"No thanks. I've had enough liquids for tonight."

"Uh sure." A quick clacking of the register later- "That'll be eight forty two please. I-Ill get your food shortly."

You bit down into the juicy stack of beef, ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions, and cheese. The heavenly taste filling your mouth like fireworks compared to the bland salad from earlier. Humming in satisfaction with every chew you took. This is definitely better than any overpriced steak! Gyomei sat down in the chair across from you looking comically too big for it. Surprised it didn't collapse under his muscle. 

"You seem to be feeling much better now."

You nodded swallowing and smiling. "Yeah! Thank you so much! I mean it. I can pay you back if you want."

He held up a large hand. "No need. I'm just happy to know that you are feeling better after everything that happened." 

"Ugh! Don't remind me. I am NEVER going on another date again!"

His head tilted but smile remained. "Were all your dates really that bad?"

You shook your head. "Actually this was the first one yet but all the dates I've been on have been. I swear ever since my prom date ghosted me for that cheerleader because I was his fourth choice." You shrugged before taking another large bite. "Most aren't really bad. Most are just really boring or uninteresting but the dates my aunt always arranged for me are always the very worst."

He hummed in genuine thought. ".. Perhaps she's not a good matchmaker."

"No! Actually she's an AMAZING matchmaker." You corrected him before he got that idea. "She matched both my parents when they were younger and my cousin with her boyfriend and practically everyone else on her street. The local shops get a lot of business from her work."

Such as your uncle who owns a catering company, the bridal dress shop, the bakery made countless wedding cakes, and you lost count of how many times her couples would go to the local restaurant for dates.

"It just seems like I have insanely bad luck with dates. My aunt tried to help but I think that only made it worse."

He hummed again. "I can't imagine how. You seem like a pleasant woman to talk with "

Despite yourself you blushed before chuckling. "Thanks. I'm glad someone thinks so."

"Are you able to get home alright? It seems to be getting later and raining."

"Huh? Oh! My friend lives nearby. He works at a pizza place. I'm sure he'll give me a ride if I ask him." Now that you had your phone, you could text him! Putting your burger down, and digging through your purse to pull out your phone and texted your friend. 

Y/n: Hey. You still at work?

Murata: Ye. Y?

Y/n: My date was a bust. Can you please pick me up?

Murata: Yeah. I'm off in 10 minutes. Brt. (Be right there.) Wru?

Y/n: Thanks. I'm at a small burger place across from a flower shop.

Murata: k. See u then.

You smiled at your phone and sighed. "My friend's coming to pick me up."

"Then I shall wait until he arrives to be sure you're safety."

"You really don't have to do that. You've done more than enough."

"I enjoy your company. So it won't be a bother." His larger smile made you flush a pink. "Tell me what happened while I was gone."

It must've been at least half an hour of you ranting to him about everything as he just patiently listened to you until Murata's beat up car pulled up just as you finished eating and honked loudly.

"That's him!"

"Then allow me to escort you to the car."

He was very polite and opened the door for you again as you both stepped out. Thankfully the car was right there so you didn't have to run through the rain. Smiling you gave Gyomei one last smile.

"Thanks for everything tonight. It was much appreciated. Maybe we ought to get together sometime so I can tell you more stories."

"How does this Saturday sound?"

You blinked taken aback. "I- What?"

He only smiled. "I'm off this Saturday and I know this cafe with good prices. If you want to of course?"

Your eyes widened. "Are you.. actually asking me on a date?"

"Certainly. If you feel comfortable with going of course."

"I don't know..My bad luck with dates have been pretty consistent."

"I think this one would be different. Never know until you give a chance."

"Well...Ok. why not? Can I get your number first?"

[pedge-page]

Plushies 6 - MooMoo

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Plushies Series Masterlist but Can be read as standalone

Summary: you surprise Joel for your 2 year anniversary by being the fuckable plushie tonight.

Warnings: literally 99.9% smut. Unprotected sex (she is on the pill but they’re playing with the idea of it failing), BREEDING KINK, pregnancy kink, plushie milk sucking (? You’ll see); nipple pumps, nipple play, nipple orgasm, boobjob, oral m-receiving, squirting, cream pie, belly bulge, no breastfeeding but Joel has a breastfeeding kink (obviously!), Daddy kink, spitting, bimbofication, lots of cow talk, praises you and degrades you, cringe ass language overall for these horny fucks

18+ ONLY

- - - -

It's getting pretty bad now that every time you see your pile of plushies in the room, your panties dampen. And you can’t really avoid them because Joel’s been adding to the mountain of stuffed animals with every excuse to get you a gift.

And then outright making you cum on them before he’s ripped the tag off.

You suspect Joel also gets equally as hard by them too, with all the interesting things he’s been sharing since starting your Plushie-sex journey. He’s pretty quiet and reserved any other time, even during regular sex. But when all your little beady stuffed animals start getting involved…

You’re startled by a gentle knock at the door. “You okay in there, sweet pea?” 

“Mhm! I’m almost ready!”

You both just got back from a fabulous date—ready to seal the night with passionate sex. And you’ve planned the perfect 2 year anniversary gift for him.

You stare in the mirror in your new “outfit” to surprise Joel’s loins: naked, save for a spotted felt ear headband, a leather collar with a big golden bell dangling from your neck, knee high white and black spotted stockings, and a slutty garter body harness speckled in black splotches. The straps dip and curve over your hips with cute ribbons on the waist, snaking under your soft parts, accentuating your breasts, tummy, thighs, ass—everything that Joel finds bitable. 

^photos + product by GlamourIsTheEndGame on Etsy

When you finally walk out into the bedroom with all the might your tiny little harness could muster, Joel’s eyes finally land on you. You smile at him with a sultry, pretty, and far from innocent smile.

"I was thinking maybe I could be your plushie for tonight,” you say, pushing your breasts out with your arms drawn tight, and shaking a little so he can see them sway and hear the jingle of the bell bounce over your collarbone.

Ok, so you know the scenes in Tom&Jerry where Tom sees a female cat, and his eyes bug out cartoonishly and jaw falls down to the ground?

Yeah, that’s Joel right now.

His jaw is so slacked it might unhinge itself. Eyes straining because they can’t go any fucking wider, and his pupils literally so blackened, you wouldn’t know he had baby brown eyes.  

You’re standing there very expectedly, waiting.

Waiting.

… waiting.

Say something you kinky bastard, damnit NowILookLikeAFool—!

Your nerves are starting to curl in on themselves...maybe you don’t look as sexy as you’d hoped...

“Um…if… if you don’t like it—I mean if you wanted to pick up a stuffie instead…”

The man takes advantage of your brief embarrassment and jumps you, shoving you against the wall and caging your legs around his hips.

“Oh!”

You whimper as the unmistakable bulge of his package presses hungrily, slipping past the little string and nudging your wet clit.

He glues his lips to yours, devouring your tongue. It’s extra hungry, extra needy tonight than usual. His lips twitch with the rumbling growl reverberating deep in his chest. 

“You’re so fucking sexy holy fucking shit baby-jesusssssss look at you— fuckfuckfuck I’m so lucky, luckylucky bastard—FUCK ME—you’re mine? You’re actually fucking mine????”

You giggle, confidence surging again as his hands struggling to grab every bit of you all at once. Holding you captive nonetheless, eyes raking over in wonder and astonishment.

“I’m all yours, Daddy,” you hum sensually. You grab his hands and bring them to curl along your harness, under the straps to feel your skin all hot and tingly. Begging for his touch.

“Happy fucking Anniversary to me.”

Joel scoops you up and sits on the bed, immediately having you straddle him. You grind down on his tent poking up between your cheeks. His fingers dig into your thighs when he feels the flutter of your folds.

He knows you feel as sexy as you look. 

“Gonna be my cow slut tonight, huh? You know what good little cow sluts do?”

“Suck cock?” You ask cheekily, preparing to sink down to your knees to pleasure him with your mouth.

He lets out a happy sigh. You’re ready to move, your teeth sucking in your lower lip, but he stops you, instead choosing to pin you closer to his body. His voice drops an octave:

“They birth and they milk.”

They—what? “Um—come again?”

“Breeding, baby. That’s what we’re doing tonight.”

He knows you’re on the pill, so it’s not like you’re really trying to get pregnant…but the thought of getting knocked up tonight sends a particularly dangerous chill down your spine. He never uses a condom so the chances are still….there. Every night. Each time he blows his fat load deep inside you; like a good little cumdump, he says. 

Why not indulge his fantasy tonight?

“You wanna breed me, Daddy?” You tease, hips swaying along his clothed member, dancing along your slit.

“Mmmm, yeahhh. Shit, baby. You’d look so good pregnant. And these—“ he grits his teeth, fingers pinching the straps that circle your mounds, watching them squish together, “—Are gonna fill up with so much milk, gonna feed me with your delicious cunt and sweet milk 24/7.”

You want to slap the smug look off his face, but now’s not the time. It’s time to get those pouty lips on your breasts and the cock in your cunny.

“Better start getting them open so I can satisfy that big thirst of yours.”

On cue, his lips wrap around your nipples, kneading your tits in his big rough hands. You start bouncing steadily along his cock. He’s domineering and digging into your skin harshly, teeth overly excited and sinking into your pebbled nips while he grinds up against your heat.

He’s biting and sucking so hard, asking-PLEADING-for your milk.

Milk that is definitely not there!

"Ouch! Joel I'm not going to give you milk, we’re just—playing—I’m not actually pregnant!"

But the THOUGHT of you exactly like this but stuffed full of a baby, just imagining your tits all round and belly bursting, the garter harness pulling tight against your skin and your tits poking out with that big heavy swell of your tummy making you look like his own breeding stock.

Desperate whines rush out of his mouth in a string of babbling: “I can get ya pregnant, please? Pleasepleaseplease darling let me put a baby in you— breed ya so good, just look at ya, could get ya knocked up, just think how cute you'd look gettin' all round with my calves grown in that tumtum. Fuck! what a sight, showing off to everyone our hard work breeding, evidence of our love making, and these titties would just swell n get all heavy with all the creamy delicious milk ya could give me like the best momma n—“

Your palm splats against his mouth to shut him up. “Slow down, cowboy. We aren’t having a real baby any time soon. We don't even live together yet..."

"Then move in with me,” he proposes without hesitation.

You …blink for a moment. His mouth hovers over your breast again but you drag him up to look you in the eyes—so you know he's not just fucking around.

“Really?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do we still have separate homes? I'm here all the time anyway. Plus, takin' care of all those plushie pets must be exhausting on your own, they're partially my kids anyway so.”

"You really want to live together?"

"Yeah. Yeah I do.” 

You and Joel were a ‘take it one day at a time’ trusting kind of love, but right now as you stare into his heart-shaped eyes, you can see your whole future together. The kind of earth shattering reality that’s never been more clear and more desirable than this moment. 

“I—“

“Don’t gotta give me an answer right now. Wanna ask ya again when we’re—less horny. So you know I’m bein’ serious.”

You grin and kiss him.

“Show me a good anniversary night and I’ll give a good thought-over.”

“Oh babygirl,” he tuts. “Think you were gonna be the only one showin’ me a good time? I got ya something too, sweetheart. Gonna go perfect with ya cow slut theme ya got goin’ on.”

You don’t know what he could possibly have that could “match” your very specific cow themed sex outfit—

Unless its more cows.

So when he sits you on the bed, stumbling over his shoes because he can’t take his eyes off you, Joel equally surprises you with a box of cow themed gifts—little calf beanie babies, which are conveniently jerry-rigged to two separate nipple pumps with their little snouts pointing towards the  suction cups, and a cow plush toy that has a compartment in the top to pour milk in, complete with rubber “practice” utters for farmer kids to learn milking.

“I swear, I had no idea you were gonna be dressed as slutty cow momma for me. I just—saw this shit online and thought my girl needed to be drinking some cow titties when I fuck her swollen cow tits.”

“We’re so in sync,” you muse, shaking your head with an amused smirk. 

Its honestly should be... kinda concerning.

He sits back next to you on the mattress, shoving some of your animals off the edge. You instinctively crawl atop his thighs again, and his hands settle once more protectively around your waist. You stare down at him, his sinful lips practically begging to get sucked while that lidded lustful gaze lulls you in a trance. The Joel Miller spell is wordlessly working on you again—and you know you’re gonna be cracking and doing anything this man says within a few shorts minutes.

You beam at each other tenderly, unable to help the genuine happy crinkle at your lips as you kiss him softly.

Then it starts:

"Can ya moo for me?"

You roll your eyes. Not quite doing anything he says so soon.  “Fuck no I'm not doin that shit again for you. You want a farm, go get one yourself."

"Please Angel?" He plants wet kisses along your jaw before giving two fat ones on top of your breasts.

"Still no."

He groans, but continues to nip at your breasts like a scolded child. "Can I fuck your big mommy milkin' cow titties?”

“There is no milk!” You snap. You’re ready to throw the whole idea away, but his persistent hold around your waist and cock nudging your throbbing puss is making it difficult to resist him for long.

His big brown chocolate lab eyes bleed into your horny little soul. “C’mon, MooMoo, for Daddy?” 

“I am NOT your MooMoo—“

He jingles the bell dangling from your neck. “Ya’sure sound like my MooMoo.”

you clench your fist around his shirt and take a deep breath. "Fine, Fine! Whatever."

"Say it."

"You can—ugh—fuck my big... mommy milking cow titties." You face feels so hot with embarrassment, but Joel purrs with such satisfaction that you feel even WORSE how much you don't hate it. 

Since when did the double entendre of being called his "kitty" and "puppy" when Joel fucks you and your animal themed plushies become his "moo moo girl"?

He grins with such a dirty, perverted look about him. Continues to kiss over your mounds, massaging the muscles in your back so you don’t notice when he bends over you to grab his homemade breast pumps.

He looks at you sideways with expectant hope in his eyes. 

You roll your eyes again. Of course he can’t just get a normal titjob and blow his load in your mouth. There’s always some fucking thing else you gotta do. But with the way his cock pulses under your drooping pussy, you decisively snatch it from his hands and get to work just so that he’ll call you his slutty cow again. 

“That’s my girl,” he groans, rubbing along your hips excitedly. He holds them in your hand and exhales hot air over the cups so they aren’t cold against your skin.

The clear tubes are narrow, obviously meant to resemble that of utters rather than actually breastfeeding from a bottle. You stick them on each tit, and very quickly Joel is pumping the little hand squeeze that starts to suction the small space of air into the connecting wire.

You gasp at the sensation. Slowing latching on, the small of your breasts are pointing inward towards the pumps, sticking up on their own now as Joel continues to suck the air out. 

You hiss a strangled moan. The sensation isn’t—bad. It’s like an invisible hand is dry vacuuming your pebbles.

“Fuck—fuck look at that,” he growls. “Your nipples are sooooooooooo fucking suckable right now.”

You look down and see their hardened state reaching out into nothing. As more of your flesh and tissue gets sucked in, pressing tightly, trying to fill the small space, the pain mixes with pleasure. Joel’s continually nipping at your chest with lidded eyes glued to the scene helps spread the multiple sensations your body is feeling.

“There’s not gonna be any milk,” you warn again, shifting uncomfortably in his lap. Your breath hitches in your throat when you get to a particularly suffocating phase of tightness in your breast.

He casts a sorrowful grin before yanking the pumps off together with a loud SCHMOP.

You screech unexpectedly, rolls of pleasure sparking through your chest, up to your brain then right down to your tummy and cunt, your eyes rolling back as you collapse forward on to him.

You’re both quiet for a moment save for your heavy pants. Until you feel a wetness growing on his pants.

“Joel—did you—?”

He laughs out, “No baby, that was all you.”

Your cheeks go warm in embarrassment, looking down to confirm that you had actually squirted onto his jeans just from getting your nipples suctioned.

“Didn’t know ya titties were so sensitive…” he goads.

You shake your head and nudge it into his neck—because you didn’t know you could squirt just from getting your breasts suctioned either. 

“Shhh, I know. I know baby, just breathe. Little titties are so sore, but we gotta get them ready to start feeding from. S’not my fault you’re just a little slut, so hungry to be a momma—don’t you worry, Daddy Bull is gonna make it happen. Ya can squirt your little juices all you want when I breed your cunt like my own personal livestock.”

You have half the mind to tell him again there is no baby to be feeding any time soon, and you sure as heck weren’t his livestock to be bred, and had nothing to say about "Daddy Bull", but with the harsh throbbing along your nipples, dragging sensitively against his cotton shirt, you don’t care to do anything else but drool and hump your weeping clit against his soaked thighs.

 “Let Daddy see his work,” he mumbles into your throat with a kiss.

You sit up again with his assistance. 

He groans heartily at the sight of your swollen, redden tips poking from your boobs. “Jesus fuck, MooMoo.” He rubs his thumb over your mounds and you wince away. “They hurt?” He laugh sadistically.

You cover your lips with the back of your palm, unwilling to let him see your delirious heaving. Your pussy throbs desperately for more his unique torture. “You….bastard…”

He soothes over the swollenness, groping your breasts and telling you how they’ll be sore like this all the time when they start filling with milk. How he’s gonna breed you so full of calves you’ll be bursting milk on your own, and he’s gonna lap it all up to keep you happy.

You don’t know why you keep letting him put the pumps back on. He doesn’t try to rip them off like before, but keeps bringing you close with tight compresses before letting air quickly filter in again. The little cow beanies bob up and down with each deep breath you force through your nose, eyes glittering up so innocently. You’re trying to ignore the equal throb in your untouched clit as the ones in your overstimulated perky nips.

Once they’ve swelled to a level of his satisfaction…

“MooMoo…”

“Huh…”

“Time for cow titty fucking.”

He throws you down on your back in the heap of your plushies. Wasting no time pulling his stiff member out of his jeans, he pumps a few times with one hand. Like a professional Joel wraps his belt tightly around your wrists, like a cowboy expertly tying his prize calf he just lassoed in. 

You twist your legs to hide the leaking drip of slick sliding down to your ass. Your head leans to the side, arms thrown behind you so you can see him, biting your lips and furrowed brows of want, admiring his physique when he pulls his shirt off with a satisfied grin. 

“Fuck me, cowboy,” you hum, shifting your bum up  and spreading your legs so he can see your swollen slit twitching up at him.

But he throws your legs down and cages you under him. “I’m makin’ a mess of those god damn Mommy milkers first. Then your cunt gets whatever Daddy Bull has left.”

DaddyBullDaddyBullDaddyBull, you chant in over and over again your dumb little cow brain...

Oh Christ, tonight’s gonna be wild.

You watch him crawl over your body, fisting his leaking member over your chest. You want it, licking your lips in anticipation, pushing your boobs together with your arms to entice him. He twists the bell-collar so its dangling off the side of your shoulder before placing his leaking tip right at your lips, smearing his precum. Moaning at that fucking taste of Joel you’d been craving all day. You lap at the saltiness, begging him to force it deep into your mouth, but all he does is rub it over your lips, your tongue peaking out to get it nice and wet for him.

His cock falls right in the valley as you smoother it with your supple breasts. “Soft titties all mine to play with? You gonna be a good girl and let me fuck them?”

He starts thrusting, suffocating his cock between your tits. With one hand, he’s pulling the harness roped around your body tight like he's riding a God damn horse, the other still possessively pumping the nipple suction cups so they squeeze harder around your precious tits. His balls rub along your sternum while he bounces his hips, rocking back and forth again and again, making a sticky mess of his arousal and your drool all over your chest.

"Angel, imagine how fucking good this is gonna feel when these pups are filled to the brim with Daddy's milk.”

You nod dumbly. “Want you to fill them, Daddy. Want you inside,” you moan. Your head leans forward as you try to suck in his tip each time it poked through your boobs. 

Joel lets out a shaky breath, trying hard not to blow his load too soon. Though the sight of your face and cowbell all sticky with his creamy spent has him drawing away quickly, a firm grip wrapped around the base to hold his twitching balls from releasing his seed just yet. 

You cry out, tongue chasing his retreating tip. 

“You ready to be my little cocksleeve plushie tonight?” He asks, raking his nails over your chest and belly, raised red trails marking you in their leave.

“I’m ready Daddy, fuck me like your dirty whore!”

He spits a fat gob of saliva right on to your slit before rubbing it over with his thick tip. You don’t need the extra lubrication due to how drenched you are, and the sweet squirting you did earlier, but oh how he admires the way it mingles with your juices and slides down your ass.

He rips the cow patterned garter ribbon from the waist buckle and wraps it around your calves, sticking your legs straight, and pulls your ankles taught. You’re completely tied off at his mercy, like cattle being tamed. He hoists your legs straight up in the air, his bare cock grinding against your wet heat.

"D-daddy!"

He leans your straight legs against his left shoulder and peers down over you: messy lipstick, bound wrists pulled together and straight to your stomach, pushing your tits even closer,  and the harness does nothing but give each one an immaculate show of perkiness. Paired with the tight press that the pumps are still holding your nipples captive.

He decides to show you some mercy by removing the tubes. He kneads their swollen state at the same time his cock rubs along your slick folds.

“T’Thank you, Daddy Bull,” you puff.

“Good girl. Didn’t even have to remind you,” he praises with gentle strokes of your cheeks.  “Your little calf babies are full now. Time for DaddyBull to spend time with Momma.”

You hope he doesn’t see the way your stomach clenches at being called Momma—a kink you’re shelving for much much later.

He’s got such stamina to be still gliding himself along your pussy but not penetrating just yet. Your brows are scrunched together in a plea and desperation, and those little cow ears are flopped back into the mess of softness. Softness that surrounds you, that innocent feel of cute plushy fur and cotton all rubbing against your body below you despite the numbing throb in your breasts and cunt. 

He puts his fingers in your mouth. Your tongue swirls around his digits, getting them wet before he’s drooping them down your puffy lips, down your breasts each with a squeeze, trailing warmly over your belly before coming to the place where he’s about to impale you.

Your entire body is thrumming with need.

He takes the moment to see how wrecked you already are for him—and to savor your body, knowing he’s gonna breed you so good one day and everything is gonna swell, like a stamp of ownership.

“You’re so fucking breedable,” he whispers in awe of your body. You don’t think he meant to say it out loud, but it turns you on all the more to hear his inner thoughts that would most likely scare away other women.

Not you though. You shutter at the thought of it taking, of making something evident of all the fucking and cum dumping he’s been giving you.

The pornographic gasp you let out as he slides his cock over your folds, between your squished thighs. Your slick lathering his length, prepping him and teasing your clit with long strokes. You whine as his mushroom tip glistens with precum, poking through your thighs then retreating. Getting your hopes up and holding it there sadistically.

"Don't gotta do nothin' tonight for me, sweet pea. Just gotta hold on for the ride."

You're not ready when he latches at your entrance and thrusts in all at once. Your eyes roll to the back of your skull as he fills your gut with his fat cock, stretching you in the best way only Joel Miller knows.

“Ahhh--ah!—f—f—fuuuccccckkkkkkkk!”

Joel Miller does have a Bull sized cock. More evident now stretching your little hole than you’d ever truly thought before.

The position is so restraining, leaving you no way to move or adjust - just take take take take his pounding. You both groan at the sight of his tip ballooning in your lower belly with each thrust. 

He throws his arm over your straight thighs and thumbs over your swelled naval. "Fuuucccckk look at that, look at that!"

"S-ssoooooo deeeeeeppp," you wreathe, lips curling in delirium.

“Yeah-yeah babygirl, gotta stretch you—get ya ready to hold my calves huh? Gotta make room for them to pop out—“

“M—mnot—pregnant,” you rasp hoarsely, eyes closing when he starts angling his hips up and rutting along the gummy part in your cunt.

“I’ll make it happen, don’t you worry your little brain.” He laughs. “You like getting stuffed like your stuffies. Turned you into a proper fuck toy—mm—there we go—but you’re always gonna be my favorite toy to hump, to fill, to own." He forces each word out with each rut. “You’re so fucking good at being a soft whore for me to use, all precious and pretty on the outside. Just another one of these plushie sluts on this bed,” he grunts.

You stick your tongue out dreamily and smile, fingers getting lost in the scattered stuffed animals surrounding you with their soft, fluffy textures and hard or squishy bodies. 

It feels really good to have 0 thoughts and just get fucked like a cow plushie.

He kisses your ankles soothingly, almost pathetically attempting to distract you from the sudden lash of his palm slapping against your ass.

“DADDY—shit!” You whimper. He doesn’t love the way you instinctively try to squirm away from him, but with how tied up you are, continually impaled on his throbbing length, you have nowhere to go. 

He continues to spank you, the same spot, fingers splayed wide until his reddened print is left etched into your skin "Gotta brand ya baby, make sure everyone knows who owns this body.”

Lewd noises of wet skin slapping, and the little cow bell clanking on your neck fill the room along with your pathetic whimpers and Joel's repressed grunts.

"Yeah? You like daddy's bull cock ramming that tight little Moo Moo pussy?"

“Yea- ohh-f—fuck yes Bull Daddy, cock so good, fuck— nobody stretches me—ah shit!Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes—m’gonna be bred so fucking full Daddy fuck yes!”

“My little cow breedin’ bitch,” he hollers. He tears the cute little cow patterned bow from that had held your calves together and quickly parts your legs, shoving your knees up to his shoulders so you’re in full mating press. He continues thrusting aggressively downward. Despite still being bound by the wrist, your elbows part slightly enough to slot him between your arms, slinking your hands over his neck to bring him closer to you.

"Breed me!" You cry, literally cry. He doesn’t relent his rough thrusts despite cooing your tears welling.

 "Gonna take all that bull cum in your slutty womb? Gonna let me put a baby in ya?”

Your walls clench down on him harder in response. The more his thick tip nudges your cervix, the less words you’re able to string together in sentences.

He doesn’t wait for answer—doesn’t think he ever will because he’s dangerously dreamt of impregnating you for so long now, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop the day you said yes. Never bringing it up but fuuuccckkk he can’t stop his confessions from tumbling out: “Shit baby, might take this time. Lookin like my breeding stock n shit, gonna plow ya, you'll milk my cummies in your tummies and then—"

"Jesus Joel stop your yapping and FUCKME.”

"Ya gonna moo for me?"

You're moaning more, but with the way your sockets are rolled to their whites, arching up like the exorcist as he rams himself so deep its puncturing your belly, the sound’s eliciting from your mouth coming out as "mmmmmaaaauuuuhhhhhau-huh-hhuhh-huhhhh!"

He chuckles. "Close enough.”

He grabs the moo plush and shoves its utters in your mouth. You tilt your head to the side and your tongue circles around the rubber part. He almost busts his nut at the gorgeous sight below him: your pretty lashes closed as you suckle from the utters, each little swallow of milk going sown your throat. You're so delirious and cock drunk that you don't care about the trickles of cream dribbling down the corner of your lips. Your tits swollen and red, nipples so perked up they may actually start bleeding milk if he were to play with them any more, and your breasts bounce back and forth with each thrust, the jingle of the cow bell clanking loudly with no sense of tune but with all the hymns of his fucking he can give you. He snaps the garter belt strapped around you like reins, free ruling restraints that only make every bit of you even more voluptuous. Your legs are so strong, thick yet securely plastered together by his knot.

Your brows pinch together as your orgasm builds from your belly, making you arch violently against the pillow.

You pull away from the cow to take a gasp of air. Joel sticks his finger in your mouth and swirls it around. You hum in content, letting him make a mess of your drool and leftover milk spilling out, down your chin and cheeks with his thick digits. He yanks it out and licks it clean.

"Taste so fucking goo—“

"Keep fucking me with Daddys Bull cock fuck daddy I wanna get bred so fucking much wanna be your breeding little cum slut daddy fuck yes! You're so fucking huge, splitting my little moomoo pussy in half poundbreedbreedbreed daddy want all your cummies inside!"

"Fucked ya so dumb. All that ‘no baby, no milky talk.’ Shit! Fuck I'm gonna wreck this pussy, my fucking pussy! Nobody comes inside this sweet little womb but Daddy!"

"Just you just you daddy all yours please brand me make me yours! Oh-oh fuck Daddy yes! I’m cumming , I’m cumming so hard Daddy Bull fuck yesyesysssssyesyesyes!!!” you hiss through gritted teeth.

Your mouth parts as a silent scream is let out into the air. Joel keeps fucking you through your orgasm, his pained gasps while trying to remain sane with your convulsing walls choking his cock, sucking him in so tight he wouldn’t be able to pull out if he pried himself from you. He reaches between you to rub your clit, and your head thrashes about in overstimulation. Hard teeth latch on to your collar bone as you squirt once again all over his cock, streaming to his balls and soaking the bed and poor plushies caught in the crossfire with your naughty juices.

“There’s my slutty girl! Squirt that puss everywhere, want to stain everything with that cunt, my pretty cow girl.”

Joel’s whole body ruts into you like his life depends on it. The bed lurches violently against the wall, plushies falling over the sides like an avalanche while your battered soaked pussy takes the beating of a lifetime from the man who undoubtedly has ruined you and laid claim to your soul for the rest of your life. You hold on with the little strength you have left as he readies to empty his balls into you.

“Shit—shit—oh ff-ffuck baby—Daddy Bull is cummin—gonna breed ya SHIT oh baby,baby,babbyyyy gonna flood ya, you’re gonna take it? Gonna take all that cum—not a drop—haa-left—Gonna knock you up this time-mmmf—fuck! My good cow sluuutt—Baby give it ta me so good, Breed ya full o’me!FUCK!!”

With a final slam, Joel plunges his cock balls deep and shouts into the mattress, pumping his cum as deep into your womb as it could possibly go with thick, fertile ropes flooding every inch of space inside you.

He forces out each harsh, agitated pant into your neck, sweat sticking between the two of you. Your hips are held upright, walls fluttering with each pulse of his dick still unloading inside.

“I love you,” you whisperinto his ear, mind all hazy as you stroke his damp curls. He shudders, relaxing into your embrace, and you welcome the crushing sensation of his body on top of yours.

He pulls away to admire your barely conscious state: stockings all torn up, harness now tattered and  straps broken from their belts, the cow-eared headband snapped in half. Bruises and purple markings and love bites scattered all over your skin, your breasts the most damaged and swollen. He wonders how long it will take to fully heal, and how sensitive those little nipples are going to be for the next few days. Most importantly, he can’t tear his gaze away from the beat of your pussy lips struggling to swallow all of his creamy seed. 

You gasp out when Joel pushes his cock all the way back in, his cum spilling out the sides and coating you but trapping a good amount inside, leaving it nowhere else to go.

“I Love being your cow MooMoo plushplush,” you hum, wiggling your bum and holding him close. 

“How bout this one still?” He grabs the forgotten milker toy and brings the utters between the two of your lips.

Your tongue wraps around one utter and you start suckling the sweetness. 

Joel yanks the toy away.

“Show me.”

You open your lips so he can see the pool of milk filled to the brim, spilling over the dips of your cheeks.

He dips his tongue into your mouth and begins sucking out your split-mixed milk, kissing you passionately so you’re both gulping around each other’s tongues.

Drunk. You feel drunk off him. Off the milk. 

Eventually he pulls away so you can both breathe.

“I mean it.”

You draw away momentarily, wondering. it takes a moment to process anything that the two of you talked about while his cock still twitches in your cum-filled vagina.

You laugh when it hits you. “Yes, I’ll move in with you—“

“—You’re gonna look so fucking beautiful when you’re pregnant.”

You both pause for a moment before bursting out in a fit of giggles.

“Oh, I already knew that,” you taunt.

-

After you sleep for 14 hours straight, you wake up to find your tattered costume is gone, and your body completely naked. You don’t feel as achy as you expected—thanks to Joel probably massaging you in your sleep. Your cunt and breasts, however, are puffy and bruised as hell. You’ll have to restrict sexy time from Joel to just regular, Plushie-free fucking.

Speaking of, there’s an unfamiliar little guy on your bed right under your arm right now: yet another cow plushie, but it’s sooooo much softer, a bit heavier too. You turn it over and switch the little battery pack on, and the animal begins expanding and deflating with gentle breaths, its tummy warm and comforting against your body.

Joel comes in with a cup of tea  placed on your bedside before jumping on the Plushie bed. You poke his face.

“Whaaaat!”

"Joel, you know this is for babies,” you say, gesturing to the new cow breathing cow plush.

Right my babygirl.” He smiles proudly, stroking your face.

"No, like actual babies. It’s a breathing soother to help them sleep. Did you not notice what section you were in when you bought it?”

He looks ahead at the wall for a briefly, revisiting the memory. “Ya know what, that might be why the lady asked if it was for a girl, and I said ya my girl. N’ then she asked 'how old' and I told her ya age and she gave me a weird look.”

Your eyes squeeze tight as you fall back in a fit of cackles. “You were literally in the baby section Joel."

"Ain't all these plushies for kids anyway?” He gestures to the pink, purple, frilly, soft, funny faced squish stuffed animals you have on your bed. “What’s the difference?”

You switch the heavy cow animal on again and the cow starts slowly inflating then deflating with each breath. 

He gets all amazed like the marvels of today's technology far exceed his imagination. “Holy shit it got a real heart in there! No wonder it cost me 60 bucks.”

“Pretty sure a real heart would cost more than 60.”

“Mmm, cost me even more to keep yours.” 

You glance over at Tomm—ahem, Teddy—sitting upright in the corner of the room, the dildo still strapped around his crotch, and at Mr. Oinkers who’s jittery fun was sometimes too much to handle, and at Valentine Puppy that has a permanent white streak in his hair when you tried washing out Joel’s cum, and at every other plush on this bed that has occupied an ever growing space in Joel’s horny head below the waist.

“I don’t love you just cuz of the plushies, you know.”

“Oh? I’ll take them all back then, since ya don’t appreciate—“

“No!” You cry desperately. “I—I love them.” You cold your cow plush close and kiss his head.

 Joel curls up next to you and spoons your body. “But I love you too. Just you.”

He hums in agreement. “I know you do. Who else would dress like that just for fun?”

You cringe at the image of the destroyed cow garter that sits helplessly on the floor. Definitely cost waaaaaay more than $60.

“I can’t wait to move in,” you mumble into the pillow.

“Oh—about that.” 

You lean back and meet his gaze. Was it a farce? Did he not actually want you to move in? Was it jut to get you excited for sex last night? You already feel your heart shattering, knowing its gonna take more than 60 bucks to put it back together—

“While you were sleeping…I brought all my shit here already. Cancelled my lease this month and packed for weeks. Figured it be easier than making you have to pack all your little fluffy bitches in boxes—”

“Well they wouldn’t go in boxes, they’d be buckled up in seatbelts.”

“Exactly my point. Would have been a nightmare trying to move you.”

You slap his shoulder.

“Um… what if I said no?”

“Oh…” the thought never actually crossed his mind that you’d say no.

You laugh again, kissing his jaw reassuringly. “Kidding, Bull Daddy.”

He grumbles into your back and kisses the back of your head. His big meaty paws rub over your thighs, the little dents from the strap still ghosting your skin, trailing up over your belly that he can’t wait to see swell one day, even if not any time soon, and snaking up to your aching chest—

“Don’t you dare touch my fucking tits.”

10 minutes later, you catch Joel’s cuddling the breathing cow right next to his face, snoring soundly as it exhales next to him. you kiss the tip of his noses and burrow yourself closer to your sleeping giant.

It really does help babies sleep.

- - - -

Notes: this ended up being waaaaaaay longer than I thought holy heck.

Bonus of Joel x Preggo reader thot in the plushies saga

Permanent Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee

[imaslutforbill]

Hi, could you do a smut about late 2006 sub bill having a huge crush on the reader, and Tom starts to tease bill a lot. One day, the teacher tells bill to help out the reader because she was failing in all of her classes and he accepts it. Then, they go to the readers house (because he has a tons of pictures of the reader.) After an hour, they start to take a break and the reader decided that they should watch a movie and bill agrees on that idea, and as the movie goes on a s3x scene was coming on the screen, and bill starts to feel turned on by the fact that he was imagining himself and the reader recreating that. He starts to feel the tightness around his lower addomen, and the reader notices it and starts to tease him about it. The reader starts to ask him for consent if he was okay doing it, and he nods. (Holy cow, this shit is long.. my bad 😢)

omg yes i love this!! although if it's okay with you, i changed the year to late 2007 <3

Pairings: Bill (late 2007) x Female reader Summary: Bill has a huge crush on the reader and they go to her house so he can help her with her grades but then turns into something very different. Warnings: making out, p in v sex, hickies.

------

Bill had a big crush on you ever since he laid eyes on you, and it only got stronger and stronger every time he was around you. Your face, the way you smiled, talked, how you dressed, the list goes on and on and he loved it all. Bill never admitted this to you, in fear of being rejected, but he always tried to flirt with you, and it would work. You'd blush and giggle at him all the time and it was quite obvious you felt the same way towards him but never admitted it either.

Bill's twin brother, Tom, was the only one who knew Bill liked you and he'd always tease him about it and would push him to finally just admit it to you but that never happened. Yet.

You and Bill had shared a few classes together and on one particular day after class, Bill was asked if he could help you with your grades because you were practically failing all of your classes. He very happily, but nervously accepted. So, before the day ended, he saw you walking down the hallway about to leave, and he ran up to catch up with you.

"Hey, y/n, soo I was asked to help you out with your grades? maybe we could like, go to your house and I could help you. You know? if that's okay" Bill asked, straight forward but obviously nervous. He wouldn't dare suggest go to his house because he had kept a lot of pictures of you whenever you two were together (physically) and also Tom would be an annoyance so, going to your place sounded much better.

You looked up at him and was taken by surprise a little as you slightly blushed. "Oh wow yes that would be great, they won't shut up about my grades and if you could help me, I'd really like that. Meet me at my place this evening?" You asked, smiling. Bill nodded, smiling back at you and that's exactly what you two did.

You two had gotten to your place and worked for an hour. Eventually, you guys decided it was time to take a break and you suggested that you two could watch a movie and he agreed. You both laid down on your bed and just turned a random movie on. After some time, a sex scene appeared on the screen which caused you both to feel some awkwardness but, it wasn't in a bad way.

Bill was so turned on by this and imagined that those two people on the screen fucking, were you and him. He didn't do a good job of making the fact that he was turned on not obvious. He could feel the tightness around his abdomen more and more, hoping you wouldn't notice but at the same time, kinda hoped you did.

You eventually do notice this as you were a little turned on yourself. "Woww..I can see you're really enjoying this" you teased while smirking a little. Bill looked at you, looking a little embarrassed as his face turned red. "I-uh..um..it's really not -" he started to say in a very stuttered and nervous tone, but you stopped him. "Shh, it's okay.. I think it's actually kinda hot." You started to put your hand on his upper thigh. "Would you wanna do it?" you asked, as your lustful eyes shifted to the TV screen then back to his eyes.

Bill nodded, smiling a little as he bit his lip slightly, looking you up and down. You lean in to kiss him but roughly, you shoved your tongue in his mouth as he did the same, causing you both to moan during the kiss. You stopped to get on top of him and started making out with him again as you felt his hands rubbing all over your waist. You could feel his erection against your jeans, turning you on even more, causing you to feel yourself getting wetter through your panties.

You broke the kiss and sat up, looking down at Bill and eagerly undid his belt for him, pulling everything down revealing his hard cock. He was big and you wanted him inside you as soon as possible, your pussy was throbbing. You took off your shirt and jeans, then your panties. You positioned yourself and asked, "You ready?" "I want you more than anything right now." Bill replied eagerly, feeling up on your boobs and down back to your waist.

You filled your needy pussy with his cock, causing you both to gasp. You started riding him faster and faster as he put his hands on your thighs. He stretched you out so perfectly and neither of you wanted it to end. "Oh fuck Bill, holy shit you feel so good..!" You moaned, throwing your head back feeling his cock go in and out of you as you rode him. He looked at how your boobs bounced as you went up and down on him. "You're so beautiful y/n..fucking hell" Bill moaned, enjoying every second of this.

You then leaned in closer to him and kissed his neck, eventually causing dark marks on it. Moans escaped his lips as did yours. "mmm yes baby you're doing so..fucking good..you feel so big inside my pussy" you said as you got closer to his ear, then sitting back up, still riding him.

"Fuck, don't stop y/n..please don't stop" Bill begged, tightly holding onto your sides. You slow down for a second to tease him but before he could say anything you pick up the pace again even faster causing him to moan again. You started to feel his cock twitching inside you and that knot in your stomach was going to break any second. "I'm so close baby..cum with me, let me cum all over your cock" you said breathy and full of lust. You both were sweating, hair a mess. "I-I'm gonna cum.." he managed to get out while breathing heavily.

And just like that, the knot in your stomach broke as you came all over his throbbing cock and in just seconds after you, you felt all his cum fill you up. You both moaned as both your and his orgasms took over. You were out of breath and your legs were an aching mess as you fell on top of Bill, feeling his cum leak from your pussy. You both were exhausted.

Bill put his arms around you as you looked up at him. "Did I ever tell you I have a huge crush on you by the way?" you said in a tired but teasing tone. Bill rolled his eyes and replied, "Yeah I totally didn't know that" but then looked back at you with loving eyes "But the feeling is very mutual" He added, before leaning in to kiss you softly. I think it's safe to say your grades wouldn't be going up very much.

-------

hi my bbs, i hope u liked this <33 once again sorry its a bit long😭🙏 but nonetheless, i really enjoyed writing this !

[web6y]

What if you...

                                        danced with,

             ✫彡   Them   ミ★

      (Pt 1)           (Pt 2)            (Pt 3)           (Pt 4)

          ✔︎                  𖤹                   ❌                 ❌

Lucifer x Reader (romantic) 

The reader is adressed as "you" and as gender neutral terms 

this time i can't imagine what kind of person Lucifer would date with,im sorry :(

(HOLY COW LUCIUS IS FINALLY WRITING SOMETHING OTHER THAN ALASTOR X READER PLATONIC THINGS🗣️‼️) 

(And I finally had motivation to finish it after 10 days.But I just realized Im not actually good with Lucifer fanfics.)

:(

Warnings:

Nothing else because im a pure angel.

Summary:

Lucifer's taller s/o reader realized Lucifer had a gramophone in his office the whole time,but the little ugly duckling haven't used it because they didn't had anyone to listen to with him...until now

And not-so-fun-fact i still don't like the way i write and I'll keep thinking I write trash.

        𐦖 King's 

                    Baby Steps ✨

You are at Lucifer's office after a long day,you are sitting at a chair,sipping your coffee and watching him work on a new project with a smirk.

You took a sip from your coffee,placed your pink cup with a tiny duck picture on it on the coffee table and stood up,you stretched.

"now...may I ask what are you working on now?" you asked softly,Lucifer didn't looked up at you but he smiled cutely with childish mischievousness,"...you'll see soon,give me a few more minutes." he is biting his lower lip with his small fangs and giggling while working.

You rolled eyes,then your eyes travels around the room after trying to checkout what he is working on,but his tiny body is good at hiding things.

As your eyes travels around the room,you see something you haven't saw before.

Its an old gramophone.

Its actually pretty big,the metal part of it is pure gold and the wooden parts are dark oak,its carved small apple patterns on it.

As you examine the gramophone,but Lucifer interrupts and excitedly yells, "Darling!Come take a look!!"

He jumps out of his chair and runs to you,showing you his 'project'.

Its a rubber duck.

A rubber duck that looks like you.

"For my dear Monarch!" he is handing it to you like its a treasure,its like a treasure to you at least.

You chuckled and took the duck from his hands,examining it,"Its adorable," you looked at him,"but not as you,my duckling.",you took his hat,leaned closer to place a kiss on the top of his head while he tried to take his hat back,while he was huffing and puffing,you pointed the old gramophone,"Is this thing still working?"

He looked at the gramophone "Im not sure.."

you raised an eyebrow "Darling,how you don't know if it works?"

Lucifer looked away and shrugged,"I...um,I don't play music really often." 

"I haven't used it since seven years ago."

You smirked "Well,there is only one way to find out if its still working." you opened the drawer under the coffee table,you found an old record and held it up.

You took it out slowly and placed it on the gramophone,and elegant dance music started playing.

Lucifer looked at you,"Well it's working.." you held his hand,offering him a dance,but he pulled back.

"I...I don't remember how to dance,it's been so long." he said with a low voice ,"My duckling.." "I know you can do it,you are so good at dancing alone and singing,im pretty sure you can handle this." you putted his hat back on his head "I'll teach you." he smiled and held your waist with his small elegant hand "I think I can give it a try again..." 

You two started dancing,you took the lead,Lucifer still looks nervous.

He needs motivation.

"Shh,we are going to do this."

"Let's start with baby steps.."

"You are doing great,my short king.."

I AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ THIS SHIT💀

ITS ACTUALLY HORRIFYING I DON'T THINK I'LL WRITE LUCIFER AS READER'S S/O EVER AGAIN.

And there is Vox and Tino left now..

I mean I can write Vox having reader as S/O but im not sure about Val😭 

But I'll anyways because i love to torture myself

Anyway,

THANKS FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL,YOU ARE AMAZING AND LOVED

🗣️💞💗💓‼️

[thehuntfortrencherlostmedia]

Hello folks.

So, I waited a while to let everything marinate in my brain before writing this. Haven is an interesting album to discuss in the grand scheme of the Trench discography. Everything feels familiar & status quo, but different, new & exciting all at once. Its production is fantastic throughout and truly allows for everything to shine. It’s also their most cinematic album to date, which is saying something given what Astoria was inspired by.

So let’s break down each track, shall we?

A Normal Life: Already gushed about this one when it came out and my thoughts haven’t changed one bit. This just might be my new favourite opener. There’s just a little sprinkling of everything from all across their discography that allows this beauty to marinate and stand on its own.

Lightning & Thunder: I’m torn. I like it still, but I do think that when you listen to it within the context of the album it loses something. It was definitely made to be a radio single. There’s nothing wrong with that.

I’m Not Getting Better: Straight to the point, catchy & fun. I really have nothing else to say on the song.

Down To You: Arguably the biggest earworm on the album. This one gets in your head and it just stays with you.

Now or Never: The By Now of the record for me. Soft & yet full of momentum all at once. This is a dream worth fighting for, indeed. Also, while both INGB & DTY show off a more R&B/Funk flow, it really sticks on this song, and now that you’ve noticed it, you’ll be hearing it a lot throughout the record.

Into The Storm: Hello, Porcelain. But also… it’s own thing. It might not be giving up, but I don’t see it as surrender either. I see it as going with the flow, facing your problems head on. This is also the first true dive into Josh’s relationship with Amanda on the album, and how he’s so happy they finally figured out how to co-exist.

Ancient History: Oh hi, Astoria. You mind if I take elements of Burning Up & Yesterday and blend them into something new? And how about the past arguments in his and Amanda’s relationship don’t matter, and how it was nice to meet back up with her. It shows how time can heal relationships. Also, SAXOPHONE. That is all.

Stand and Fight: The actual Porcelain of the record. People thought they were gonna go in a This Meets War for this song, when instead it’s a slow burn that truly stays with you.

Turn & Run: Here’s how you do a sequel song and then make it stand out from its older brother. Much like the combos of Celebrity Status/Perfect & B-Team/Toy Soldiers, both sides of the coin make me giddy inside. And holy cow… welcome to the edge indeed. That hint of Fix Me screaming… I need more of it Josh. Please? I’ll be a good girl. There’s also a lot of Masterpiece Theatre II on this one. Easily my favourite of the short songs.

Worlds Collide: I go back and forth on this one in my head. There’s parts of me that love it, there’s parts of me that feels it’s too similar to the two tracks before it…. And then we have the end. And that just… made me smile. Also, I love Josh SCREAMING “Nobody’s Safe” and the fact they left in the vocal crack. That’s how you can tell his emotions are in full display here. So yeah.

Nights Like These: The comforting palette cleanser after three songs hit you with whiplash back to back to back. It’s very reminiscent of tavern songs, sea shanty’s & is just a warm hug of a track. Also, breaking down the fact that sometimes it’s nice to have just a cozy, relaxing night with friends. Feels like the Who Do You Love of the record too.

Remember Me By: Um, Micheal? Did you just possess Josh again? This feels so 80’s R&B I can’t help but love it. Also, Ian! Nice to hear you sing, bud. We’ve heard the other three all throughout this record and now we get your voice on top of the amazing percussion. Kudos.

Haven: So, here we are. The closing track. And, it’s good. It feels like they took The Killing Kind , Masterpiece Theatre III & End of An Era Abd threw them in a blender… and the result came out great, but… it does lack something to me? And if anything, it brings out the fact this album fits into the Relationship Theory too: It is about starting anew like I said ages ago but also about how their relationship (Josh & Amanda) isn’t perfect but he loves the imperfection now that they’ve figured out how to make it work. She might’ve broke his heart once but he reconciled & became stronger because of it. And now he can show that all across these 13 tracks.

So yeah. Haven’s likely my album of the year, and I do like it. But I do think that while it has some of the highest highs the band had ever reached, I do think they didn’t fully nail the Hero’s Journey theming & that it’s not as cohesive as some of their other work. It’s a sturdy S-, easily #2 or #3 in my overall rankings, even #1 depending on the day.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - John 1:20

i honestly hadn’t considered that John would have access to a bunch of other info, like the FTL planning to leave everyone behind, via the politician he’s puppeting around. he’s practically running the government of this unspecified country at this point. i mean i guess it was good practice for everything he’d later end up doing as Emperor 

‘I’ve got plans for that arm’ um. what. y'know what i really really don’t want to even know

for a guy who keeps saying he didn’t want to nuke anything he’s reallyyy leaning into the nukes every chance he gets

something i find very interesting is that John possibly also has powers besides necromancy that he’s seemingly glossed over a lot? even though they’re very toothy, he can apparently grow roses, and earlier C— talks about him potentially stabilising the North Glacier like that’s something he could definitely do. i wonder if it is actually possible to use thalergy, the life energy stuff, which really never gets mentioned that much tbh, in a similar way to thanergy?

ok how on earth is ‘Cows exhibit mourning behaviour for other cows’ such a goddamn impactful line. like its a really chilling moment of John confirming that he’s willing to start a nuclear war rather than let the ships leave. and it’s also objectively fucking ridiculous

John’s reflection here on his friends doubting him, and how ‘People don’t forgive, not really’ is very interesting considering his actions at the end of HtN, where he asks Augustine if they can have a ‘fresh slate’ in the wake of him killing Mercy. idk really what i’m trying to say here, but i do wonder how much John really meant what he was offering there 

well what with Ianthe, Harrow, and Kiriona, John certainly took M—’s remark about recruiting teenage girls in the next cult to heart

what i’m personally choosing to take away from this chapter is that multitasking is the true villain of the Locked Tomb universe. get some sleep and stop trying to do six things at once kids, or you might just end up nuking the entire earth

‘I can’t Sister. It’s too big’ i’m quite frankly a little disappointed that John didn’t take the opportunity to make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke here

holy crap, the nun shooting herself is certainly a moment. this is really leaning into the eldritch horror of what it would be like to be a human and aware of the Earth literally screaming at you

there’s such a tragic contrast between M— literally begging in her last moments for them not to shoot John vs Mercy being the one to kill him & John killing her so horrifically in return

John’s been essentially levelling up in necromancy as all of these chapters have progressed, but it’s a truly horrifying level of power he displays here. it’s not even the nukes that end up killing a lot of people, because John points out that he was able to just straight up snap the necks of about half of the entire world population

so much about this chapter is just walking the line between absurdist comedy and abject horror, but there is something just so … viscerally disturbing about the mental image of John literally just eating dirt as he consumes the soul of the Earth 

THIS is where the Barbie comparison comes in??? this?! John modelled a body for the remains of the soul of the partially-absorbed soul of the earth after BARBIE?!! talk about taking Barbieheimer to a whole new level

‘I drank them in, and it wasn’t enough’ someone better at comedy than me has probably made a very Hungry Caterpillar joke about this chapter 

‘You and I went full fucking Hungry Caterpillar’ DUDE. ok i stg i made the Hungry Caterpillar annotation immediately before i read like the next page and saw this 

‘I picked you to change [...] I still love you’ well, there’s some form of answer about how John actually got his necromancy in the first place. there’s something so awful about being a human being given powers you just straight up can’t really comprehend by a being so much bigger than you out of love 

the message reads ‘THE/TOWER/HAS/REACTIVAT’. at this point i can’t really think of anything else it could say other than ‘reactivated’. and given this is the chapter where John describes himself as becoming God, there’s something very poetic about the chapter heading being John 1:20, in which John the Baptist confesses that he isn’t the Messiah

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

Hi Hi! So we know how jealous Jesse can get and how he deals with it, but what about Cole? Would he also get jealous if someone flirted with Jesse? How would he deal with that?

(Did you mean: the first half of S4 lmao)

I think I said this before (or I wrote it but haven’t posted it yet) but while Jesse feels jealous way more often, he doesn’t act on it nearly as much, or at least tries not to. …Cole, meanwhile, doesn’t get jealous nearly as often, but when he does…DIRECT ACTION

. . .

Griffin: Holy cow, is that the Jesse Marvell????

Jesse: Uhm, Y-Yes?

Griffin: Dude, I’m a huge fan of your performances! You are incredible up on stage!!! A true inspiration!

Jesse: *blushes from embarrassment* Ah, thank you!

Griffin: Can I get an autograph????

Jesse: Um, I—

Cole: *appears ominously behind Jesse with a deadly aura*

Griffin: Errrr, uh, Nevermind, I guess I don’t need it THAT badly— *sprints away*

Jesse: ??????

Cole: :3

. . .

Kabuki Girls: *giggle in Jesse’s direction*

Jesse: *smiles shyly and waves*

Cole: Hmph. *picks up Jesse and carries him out of the room without a word*

Jesse: ?!?!?!?!?!?!

. . .

Skylor: I keep hearing about how talented of a magician you are. Mind show me a few tricks sometime, cutie? ;)

Jesse: *blushing for real* …eheheh, well, I—

*Jesse’s chair suddenly slides violently away*

Jesse: WHAT THE—?!

Cole: Oh whoa did anyone else feel that really small and totally randomly specific earthquake just now??? Cuz I sure didn’t. Anyway hi Jess didn’t see you there, you look good today-

Jesse: COLE?!?!

Kai: Assist! *ninja rolls his way over to Skylor, plunks elbow on table* Soooo…do you like jazz? Also, red is such a better color than pink, just saying ;)

Skylor: *trying her absolute hardest not to blow her cover and burst out laughing*

Jay: For Creation’s SAKE, right in front of my sandwich?????

Lloyd: I don’t know any of these people I swear

. . .

(Anyways then they have a very important conversation sometime afterwards and Cole eases up and doesn’t get THAT bad again—but, it’s still hard sometimes having a future famous performer with many fans who is also very naturally ~alluring~ as a boyfriend, but good thing Jesse’s already obsessed with him lmao)

[ursaius]

🌲🐻About Me🐻🌲

🐻Howdy hey, my name is Ursaius(Ursa if you wanna get casual) I'm a 20 year old idiot from the United states(I'm from the south if you wanna get specific with it, but i live in the Midwest right now) I am a white transmasc Nonbinary butch lesbian. I'm not here to argue the validity of queer identities if you start with me I'll run you in circles while I laugh and troll you, I grew up in the deep South your not gonna say anything to me that I haven't already been told. I'm also 2 inches tall (5'4) and I have evil in my heart(I'm a Capricorn sun, Libra moon, and, Capricorn rising)

🌲I am butch4all, AND I'm currently seeing someone :)))

🐻 I'm not gonna say that I'm disabled as I'm not diagnosed with anything except anxiety and depression that I got diagnosed with when I was 13. There is however something wrong with me mentally in many different and fun(sarcastic) ways. So I just ask you please be patient with me and have some compassion if it appears I'm freaking out and live blogging an episode. Feel free to arm chair diagnose me everyone always does and I love a good guess. And I don't have proper health insurance so a diagnosis is out of the question for the time being.

🌲🐻 about my blog🐻🌲

🌲 I'm a huge nerd and overall dork. I have a wide variety of interest including but not limited to: Cooking, DND, The locked tomb, Interview with a vampire, what we do in the shadows, Pokemon, raggedy ann and Andy, Dungeon Meshi, Moomin valley, studio Ghibli, Bears(the animal sorry gaymen I stand with y'all in solidarity tho), cows, any animal with antlers, especially moose i love moose, Fish, lizards, SNAKES(BALL PYTHONS SPECIFICALLY), bugs, CRABS, other crustaceans, the ocean, ghost and other paranormal stuff, Fantasy stuff, renfairs, rodeos, poetry, writing, nature(if that wasn't obvious), witchcraft, Greek mythology, Celtic mythology, the fae, probably a bunch of other stuff I'll add later

🐻 I'm into a lot of different music my favorite genres are folk, bluegrass, goth, showtime, ragtime, swing, and cunty pop music 😌 I love you forever and ever Kesha. Some of my favorite bands and artists are the bridge city sinners, charming disasters, Florence and the machine, amigo the devil, Mitski, Fiona apple, Holy locust, the oh hellos, Ayesha erotica(just her music), Kim Petras(again just like her music), the aforementioned Kesha, will wood, Hozier, Tyler the Creator, Willow Smith, caravan Palace, and a lot more.

🌲 I post about a lot of nonsense usually what's ever on my mind and I reblog shit that makes me laugh and I feel like sharing with the class. I post art I do sometimes when I feel like it, I'm probably gonna try to get the confidence to post some of my poetry, and short stories, probably DND stuff, and Cooking and recipes so TW for anyone that can't handle looking at food and stuff idk block me probably I know some people with ED have a hard time with it I don't mind. Um I'll talk about anything really I'm a big yapper. I'm also a silly guy that likes to show my face so I post selfies a lot ummmm. Idk what else to say cause I don't really know what I might do later 😕 I'm not very consistent with stuff I post.

My tags are

Selfies or pictures of me- #ursaius irl

Answering ask- #chattering

Replying to questions or people bothering me- #responding

Talking into the void- #yapping

Claudia catfishing BS- #sweethartfemme is catfish, #claudia is a catfish,

DMS and ASK ARE OPEN

I like talking to people feel free to DM me about anything

I have two side blogs and two side blogs only

@ursaiusminor this is where I reblog silly stuff I don't think fits my blog

And one where I'm unabashedly horny but you gotta dm me for it's

🖕DO NOT INTERACT 🖕

If you support any of the fucking genocides going on in this fucking world Free Palestine, free the Congo, and free Sudan. If you're a Terf fuck you, pathetic losers. If you are racist, pedophile, proship, zoophile, ableist, bigoted, or hateful in anyway you disgust me. Cishet men you can stay but you are on thin ice behave.

I want this to be a safe space for me if you ruin it I will deal with you firing squad style

[salubriousbean]

HOOLYY COWWW GUYS HOW ABOUT THAT LIVESTREAM

Heh get it 'cause- 'cause of the holy cows okay anyways

*INSERT SCREAMING HERE*

THOSE VISUALS WENT CRAZY

UM HELLO THE NEW COVER ART???? BEAUTIFUL

AND THE THUNDER SAGA????? HOOOOLLYYY COOOWWWWWWW

ITS CRAZY THAT WAS CRAZY ABSOLUTELY WILD AND INSANE AND AWESOME HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Also Jay was so happy I loved it :)

[yellowbunnydreams]

Mechanised Devotion (Part 2) ~Steve Raglan/William Afton x Female Reader~

~Holy cow, thank you so much to the people who liked part 1 despite the fact it was basically just set up! I promise we'll get to the more fun bits from here onwards. I'm just excited to be writing again, and honestly just trying to have fun with this little writing project~

Part 1

CW: Minors DNI, (18+ ONLY), afab reader, legal age gap (Reader- 20's, William - 40's), mention of crimes and violence, blood, mentions of child death (it's FNAF, what did you expect?), past trauma; abusive relationships.

It had been less than three days when Steve Raglan picked up his office phone as it rang, breaking him out of a stupor he had fallen into as he had pulled out his laptop and began watching the security feeds from his little 'hobby'. He'd watched the black and white cameras as they flickered with a little aged grain as the inside of what was once a colourful, successful establishment was now being ransacked by vagrants and bored teenagers. Today it happened to be vagrants, and he wished that he had remembered to wire back the audio into them as he witnessed a particularly large man run apparently screaming from an elongating, slow shadow behind him.

He felt a little regret that he wouldn't be able to watch his creations deal with the issue as the shrill tone of the phone of his desk continued. This was the downside to being Steve Raglan, he couldn't enjoy what he most wanted to when he wanted to.

It was never as satisfying to watch back the tapes.

"Steve Raglan's office." He stated cooly, running his thick fingers through his hair and hiding an annoyed huff as he kept glancing back at the screen. Raising an eyebrow as he watched the man on the screen pick up a chair and trying to jab it towards the heavy shadow coming into view on the edge of the camera. Soon joined by a second and a third.

"Hi it's um... it's me." You stated, similarly running your fingers through your hair although you were unaware of it. Hearing Steve Raglan's voice made you somewhat nervous for some reason, gripping the handset of the landline you were calling from and twirling the cord around a finger as they moved from your hair.

Raglan sat back in his chair, half-keeping an eye on the screen but now intrigued as to your call. If it had been anybody else calling on his free-office day, he would have put the phone down but the nerves in your voice pulled at some part of him and coerced him into listening. A sly, calculating smile crossing his lips as he drawled out your name.

"It's so nice to hear from you, what do I owe the pleasure of this call to?" He asked, watching the screen and grinning as the camera was predominantly dominated with the hulking figures of his creations reaching for the intruder. Watching as their maws opened up to reveal a carefully orchestrated mess of gears, pistons and wires and enough hydraulic pressure to snap bones.

You could hear the sweetness in his voice as he talked. Taking a deep shaking breath, your grip tightened on the handset before you glanced at the rent notice pinned on the board and saw your name as the one circled in red and underlined. The last one to pay rent that month. Again.

"I was um, wondering if you still wanted to talk to me about my...history." You ventured cautiously, subconsciously reaching up and biting at your nails and tasting the bitter polish as you felt the nerves and caution creep into your voice.

Steve leant forwards and pressed the phone harder against his ear, as if that would somehow mean you wouldn't hear the smile in voice as he watched the carpeted floor of the old pizzeria seep into a darker colour despite the monochrome settings, and he was, surprisingly to himself, excited that you wanted to talk to him.

"Oh yes, you decided to change your mind? I knew you would be good and see it from my perspective." He felt his breathing hitch as he watched the somewhat censored gore on the screen and his heart began to beat a little quicker as his depraved mind began to wonder what little secrets he would be able to tear from your pretty little head.

You were somewhat glad that he couldn't see you as your cheeks filled and turned crimson in embarrassment. Hearing his words had made some part of your mind light up like an amusement park. 'I knew you would be good', and you weren't sure, but you swore you almost heard his breathing flutter excitedly as he said it. Shaking your head, you dismissed the notion that the man you had met a few days prior would be that weird.

"Yeah so um... It all really began back whe-"

"Oh no, sweetie, don't you think it would be far more professional to say something like this to my face?" Raglan asked, unable to contain a small sneer as he stressed 'professional' but let the warmth of his voice coat the nickname he threw in casually. He had found younger women were so much easier to manipulate as he pleased as long as he threw just enough scraps of compliments and feigned interest to light up their little hormone ridden brains. It was almost as easy as convincing kids to follow him back in his hay-day.

"Oh um, sure Mr. Raglan." You stammered slightly, caught off guard by the nickname, running your hand through your hair again and biting your lip as you wondered where the sudden informality had come from. Although you supposed this was only your second time speaking to him.

Shutting the laptop down and placing it into a desk drawer and locking it up, Steve loosened his tie and leaned back into his office chair. He wondered whether he should get her to come to the office again, but as he looked around the room idly, he noticed a menu flung onto the side and picked it up, twirling it in his fingers as he glanced over it and decided that an informal setting might make you squirm more. He wanted to see you on edge.

"How about I meet you at a place called Sparky's? It has good food I've heard."

Food sounded like a wonderful idea, if a bit strange to you that he mentioned meeting you somewhere so informal when surely what you were about to divulge was confidential.

'I'm not the expert though. This is literally his job.'

"Umm... Sure, but sir I-"

"No ifs, no buts okay?" He raised his finger and waggled it as if you would see, but the predatory grin remained on his face, slightly faltering as the adrenaline from watching the feeds faded out all too quickly for his liking. "See you in about...an hour." He said, giving no option to argue as he put down the phone. Standing up and stretching, letting his back crack satisfactorily and tucking in his shirt again, adjusting his tie again as he picked up your file. Deciding to read through it once more before meeting with you again.

~~

Finding Sparky's wasn't that hard, but walking there in worn down sneakers that really weren't suited to walking that much, jeans and a baggy t-shirt even in the thick Utah heat had seemed like a great idea when you left the house. However as you reached the aged looking diner, it was regrettable one.

One thing you had realised as you had settled down in the middle of nowhere also known as Hurricane, everything looked like it had been built in the eighties and then left to rot away, never being updated apart from the barest health and safety codes that allowed things to continue functioning.

Stepping inside, a small bell chimed and you were glad to find the cozy space air-conditioned. A mousey haired and boyish faced waiter smiling at you from behind the counter before returning to cleaning momentarily, allowing you the chance to look around and find Raglan. You noticed him in a booth in the corner, legs stretched out to one side and head leaned partly against the cool glass, a mug infront of him that his massive hands fiddled with idly. It was comical in a way, the way the massive man sprawled to fill out the space with a slight scowl on his sharp features.

Cautiously, you approached, and Raglan turned his head automatically as he noticed movement in the glass where his head rested. His features cool and unreadable before he noticed who it was approaching, breaking out into that cute lopsided smile that made you light up slightly seeing it.

'Since when did you light up seeing somebody smile?' you asked yourself. Offering a nervous smile back before taking a seat opposite in the booth. Smelling the freshly brewed coffee he had in front of him and feeling the change in your pocket jingling as a heavy reminder that you too would probably only be having coffee. Watching Steve tuck himself back into the booth and lean his forearms on the table, leaning forwards slightly.

"Ah, glad you found it! Now, you look absolutely parched lovely, let's get you a drink." He said, voice warm and comforting again, seemingly concerned with your state as he gestured for the boyish waiter to come over. Reading his name-tag as 'Ness' as he got closer.

"Hey folks, what can I get you? Another coffee sir?" He asked, his voice bubbly as he directed his question towards Steve first, who looked in his cup. Notably almost comically small in his calloused palm, before he shrugged and smiled charmingly at the waiter.

"Sure, two waters as well and whatever this young lady would like, it's my treat."

"Mr. Raglan I really couldn't -"

"No no," he said, tapping the table idly with his right hand, as if keeping it occupied as he spoke. Tilting his head to one side and widening his smile as he said your name gently, reassuringly. "no ifs and no buts, remember?"

Swallowing softly, you stammered through your order, making sure to pick the smallest thing on the menu still. You weren't going to be stupid or cheeky, remaining frugal in a way that made Steve raise an eyebrow and smirk to himself. He was beginning to form an image of you in his head, and a shiver ran through his body as he realised you were ticking quite a few boxes for himself mentally.

Ness disappeared with a smile and a nod, leaving you and Raglan alone and in somewhat awkward silence as the buzz of the air conditioning tried somewhat unsuccessfully to fill it. Twirling your thumbs around each other, you looked at your hands and thought for a moment about which nail to chew before taking a deep breath and matching Steve's pose. Forearms on the table and slightly leaned forwards.

"I guess...my personal issues at work started with my ex." You admit, keeping your eyes on your own hands and how your thumbs move, trying not to disturb the pattern that you had fallen into with the soothing motion. "He was...A real peach, you know? Made me feel pretty and stupid and like I was dating God's gift to women." You sigh, biting at your lip and chewing at a dry piece of skin, avoiding Steve's eyes.

The man opposite you listened intently, and a malicious glitter formed in his silvery eyes as he stared intently at you. Head bowed, speaking softly and brokenly. Bitter. Although something gnawed at his insides as you spoke about your ex-boyfriend. How he had made you fall so vastly in love with him, that you didn't care when the beatings initially started, because you deserved it in your eyes. You would apologise even as you laid bloody and bruised on the kitchen floor because you were stupid enough to make him angry.

Raglan scowled as he realised that the feeling eating at him was jealousy. Jealousy at a man he had never met nor heard the name of before that day because he was the one that had gotten to break you first. Not him. Not who he really was anyway.

Food arrived and you finished talking, summing up your life-story about how you had gotten fired from multiple jobs because your psycho ex would stand outside or inside your place of work and simply stare at you for hours after you left. Would follow you to a car, or bus or train even, just because you dared to leave him.

Steve offered his large hand out, switching from a scowl to a concerned frown as you looked up, tears pricking at your big doey eyes. He felt angry in a way. He wanted to be the reason you cried. Not some stupid, half-assed attempt at a threat.

Raglan wanted to see you cry with real fear.

Gently, he placed his large hand on your forearm and stroked it slowly, a comforting motion that made you look up at him and into his eyes as he spoke with what sounded like sincere grief on your behalf.

"I'm so sorry sweetie, somebody like you shouldn't have to go through that kind of fear. I understand now, I think I have something in mind for you, a job that would mean you're out of sight if he should come looking for you." He offered, letting his hand rest on your elbow for a moment before resuming the comforting motion again.

Internally, he was grinning. He had been sincere when he said you shouldn't have had to experience that type of fear, no, because he wanted you to experience real fear. The type that meant he could watch your panic and pain upclose and personally.

[fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency]

"Mr D- Mr Fukuzawa? I... um... an anon turned me into a child. I'm... not really sure how old but I think 'go to your dad' meant I'm supposed to come here?"

-@justsigma-bsd

you're so small and cute. Holy cow.

Hi.