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sentinelpri · 1 year

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Cracks

When September 15th rolls around, Kakashi doesn’t pay it much mind. In fact, he treats it just like he would any other day. Since the ANBU have him off duty, he wakes up early, eats breakfast, and goes to the training grounds to get some exercise in. After that, he heads back home, takes a shower, and goes on a stroll around the village in casual wear.

It’s weird to think that he’s twenty now. Things aren’t much different than they were when he was nineteen. It’s just another year that’s passed by with no one to spend it with. He remembers his dad celebrating with him when he was really little with a small cake at the kitchen table and the ‘happy birthday’ song gently sung to him. He also remembers Obito, Rin, Minato, and Kushina trying many times to force him to celebrate with surprise parties, random gifts, and surprise dinners. He never reacted well back then, always scolding them and running off. Now, he wishes he’d accepted those birthday surprises a little more gracefully.

Currently, he’s alone, but he doesn’t mind that too much. No one to ambush him with surprise parties, no one to welcome him home, no one to scold him for not reminding them of his upcoming birthday. While part of him certainly misses those days, this lonely life that he’s grown accustomed to is somehow easier.

It’s a warm fall day. The light breeze that ruffles Kakashi’s silvery hair keeps it from being too hot, but it’s still warm enough that Kakashi can tell summer hasn’t fully released Konohagakure from its grasp. The leaves on the trees are mostly green. There is the occasional one that’s yellow or orange, telltale signs of how the weather will change in the next few weeks. It’s peaceful and arguably the best birthday he’s had since Minato and Kushina passed away.

…That is until he sees a flash of green, followed by an arm being wrapped around his shoulder. None other than Might Guy is now walking by his side and practically yelling in his ear.

“So, Kakashi… It’s your birthday! What are your plans?”

Kakashi blinks and pushes Guy’s arm off of his shoulder so he can put some distance between them.

“What…” Kakashi starts, then stops himself. He wants to snap at Guy and demand to know how he discovered what today was. He wants to run off and go lock himself away from the world in the confines of his tiny apartment. He wants to go to work. But then, he remembers all the times he pushed people away. He remembers all of his regrets and decides that this time, he should be kinder to this person who’s clearly just interested in being his friend and learning more about him. “How did you even find out that it was my birthday? I’ve never told anyone that.”

‘At least not anyone that’s still alive,” He finishes the sentence in his head, but doesn’t dare to say such morbid words out loud and risk ruining Guy’s perpetually cheery mood.

“Oh, well, I had to do some digging!” Guy says with a loud, barking laugh while running a hand through his raven locks- which are still cut and groomed in that childish bowl-like hairstyle just like they were the last time Kakashi saw Guy a month or two ago.

“Digging, huh?” Kakashi mutters with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, Lord Third is very helpful, y’know,” Guy explains, and of course, that makes sense. Lord Third- that overly kind, people-pleasing man who has been trying to get Kakashi to work less and spend time with friends for years. Even if Kakashi had never told the old man his birthday directly, he knows it’s in his personal file, which Lord Third unfortunately has access to. The fact that the Hokage would break so many rules about confidentiality for the sake of divulging his birthday of all things borders blasphemous to Kakashi, but he tries to ignore the agitation that bubbles up in his chest when he thinks about it too hard. “But anyway, what are your plans? Got a date?”

A date. Kakashi finds that prospect to be laughable. After all, who would want to go on a date with him? He doesn’t really have any friends, even most of the people in ANBU hate or fear him because of his past. ‘Friend-killer’, they always whisper when they think he can’t hear. Even if he couldn’t hear, he sees the way they look at him, even behind their masks. He sees the way the people on the street are looking at him right now, too, like they could be next if they crossed him the wrong way. Which one of them would be stupid enough to want to go on a date with friend-killer Kakashi?

“Eh, no,” Kakashi answers after a little too long. “I don’t have anything planned. It’s just like any other day to me. I haven’t celebrated since… Ah, I don’t know when. It’s been a very long time.”

“I’ll have to fix that, then!” Guy exclaims much to Kakashi’s dismay. They stop in the middle of the street so Guy can excitedly put his hands on Kakashi’s shoulders and frame this genuine attempt at being a good friend as a contest like he always does. “Say, it’ll be another contest that you can compete in when my birthday comes around to see which one of us can celebrate the other’s birthday the best!”

“But your birthday isn’t until January…” Kakashi pouts beneath his mask.

“That just means you have more time to prepare, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose so, but whatever it is you’re planning, Guy, I’m not interested.”

“Sorry, rival, but I’m afraid you don’t have a choice here,” Much to Kakashi’s surprise, Guy grabs his hand and holds it within his own. Kakashi almost pulls away and leaves, but then he remembers the many others he’s done that to and how they ended up; dead before he realized that he needed to treat them more kindly. Now is his chance to try again. “I’m treating you to dinner whether you’re interested or not! So choose something by yourself or I’m going to drop something off for you later. Which will it be?”

“I guess it’s been a while since I’ve had a good meal,” Kakashi reluctantly agrees and laces his fingers with Guy’s. He doesn’t miss how Guy’s cheeks are dusted pink, though he’s sure his own appear the same if not worse under his mask. “Shall we hit that one sushi bar down the street from the academy?”

“If that’s what you want, yes!”

And that’s how Kakashi finds himself sitting across from Guy at the local sushi bar, feeling terribly out of place. Occasionally, people stare and whisper about the ‘friend-killer’ when they think he can’t hear, but Kakashi doesn’t pay them any mind. All of this is just a testament as to why he never goes out in public with his coworkers when he’s not on duty.

In front of him is the cheapest plate of sushi on the menu. It’s a simple five piece dish. The rolls are nothing but plain white rice topped with paper thin slices of tuna. Guy, on the other hand, has this obnoxiously long line of sushi stuffed with tempura shrimp, avocado, and cream cheese- all topped with a whopping portion of crab salad and eel sauce. Next to the ravenette is two bowls of rice with chicken and a plate with a single skewer of sweet dumplings.

“Thank you for the meal, Guy.”

“Sure thing, Kakashi, but do you not want more? That’s a pretty measly portion you’ve got there.”

“No, no, it’s fine, thank you. This is plenty.”

Guy smiles so brilliantly that it blinds Kakashi. Kakashi smiles back just enough that Guy can see how his lips curve upwards under his mask. His stomach and his chest both feel fuzzy in a way that he hasn’t experienced in a long time- and oddly enough, it’s nice. Being around Guy is nice.

He isn’t sure when his perception of Guy changed so much. When they were kids, he thought of Guy as an annoying pest, then as someone he could tolerate on his good days. Somehow, ‘pest’ turned into ‘comrade’, then into ‘good friend’. Kakashi just hadn’t realized it until now.

Guy looks at him between bites of food. Instead of glaring back at those warm eyes or avoiding them, Kakashi feels his own gaze soften.

“What is it, Kakashi? You seem out of it today!”

Kakashi has a million answers that he could give, the first being a dismissive ‘nothing, I’m fine’ and the second being ‘none of your business’. For once, though, he decides to be honest.

“I don’t celebrate my birthday. This is unusual for me.”

“Ah, I see,” Guy nods in understanding. “We’ll just have to change that!”

“I guess that wouldn’t be all too bad.”

Kakashi smiles, and with that, they continue to eat. He only picks up the sushi with his chopsticks to eat when Guy is looking somewhere else, just to keep the older man from seeing his face no matter how obvious it is that Guy wants to get a peek. Just like the rest of Kakashi, Guy is so intensely curious about his face and always has been. Rather than most people who just want to know whether he’s attractive or not, Guy only desires to see him without his mask to know and understand him that much better. Kakashi has always been aware of it; of Guy’s goal to know him and to be known by him in return. While he can’t quite understand it, he figures that’s what Guy’s definition of friendship- or love, or maybe both- must be.

Guy’s friendship is sweet and overwhelming like the sunlight that burns your eyes on a too-hot summer day or the scent of the fresh sakura blossoms that bloom in the middle of spring. Weirdly enough, Kakashi doesn’t mind these days.

“Kakashi, I just wanted to let you know that I greatly appreciate you as both a friend and as a rival! I…” It’s a passionate and earnest speech that has Kakashi shifting uncomfortably in his chair- not because he doesn’t reciprocate, but because he doesn’t know how to or if he even should communicate that he does. “Well, I couldn’t imagine waking up in the morning not knowing you, you know? You mean the world to me and I love you very much, so that’s why I wanted to do something special for you today! I hope we can make this a tradition from now on.”

“Guy, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, whatever you want.”

“Most would consider me trash because of everything I’ve done. Most of the people in the village are scared of me- either that or they hate me, or both. I’ve done terrible things… I’m a filthy person,” Kakashi murmurs as he puts his chopsticks down and pushes his empty plate to the corner of the table for the server to be able to retrieve a little easier. He does the same with his empty water cup. “Aren’t you afraid that I’ll stain you in the end? That I’ll ruin you?”

“Well, Kakashi, I’d rather be considered stained than whatever the alternative is,” Guy shrugs and finishes his food. When the server brings the ticket, Guy places the cash on the table and stands up to stretch while staring down at Kakashi with a grin. “You sure are melodramatic, you know that?”

“Huh… I don’t think I’ve ever been told that one before,” Kakashi replies and stands as well.

Silently, they walk out of the restaurant.

Though Kakashi is perfectly capable of getting to his apartment by himself, for whatever reason, Guy insists on walking him home. It’s not much of a walk from the sushi bar and they manage to make it to Kakashi’s front door by sunset.

“I will confess…” Kakashi starts, his hand on the doorknob of his room. They’re standing on the welcome mat a little too close to each other and even with as socially inept as Kakashi can be, he can tell that neither of them want this to end- he can feel it in how Guy looks at him and in how his own hard is beating so slowly yet so hard against his chest. “You gave me a wonderful birthday, my friend.”

Guy blushes. Kakashi can’t help but think that the other Jonin is ethereal under this dying sunlight, and fuck. Before he can come to terms with ‘comrade’ becoming ‘good friend’, ‘good friend’ turns into ‘love of my life’. Guy has successfully broken through his walls and shrouded his darkness with infinite light after so many years of trying… And to think all it took was going for dinner. How embarrassing.

“I’m glad to hear that, Kakashi, but I have to ask,” Almost as if they’re in sync, Guy reaches forward to place a hand on Kakashi’s face. The younger man can feel the warmth of Guy’s palm through the thin cloth of his mask. “Is there anything else you need to make this birthday- say- more than wonderful?”

Guy has been cracking, cracking, cracking away at him since they were kids. Kakashi’s walls- the darkness that has shrouded him in a confined little space of loneliness for so many years- have finally cracked to allow in the light, if only for the rest of the evening.

“Nothing I need, per say, but I think I should pay you back for today, don’t you?”

“That’s really not necessary, rival-” Guy starts, only to cut himself off and stammer when Kakashi suddenly pulls his mask down to hang loosely around his collar. “W-What?”

“I think our next contest should be us competing against each other to see who’s the best at kissing,” Kakashi says and opens the door to his apartment before dragging Guy inside and shutting it behind them. “What do you say, rival?”

Guy flushes dark red and leans back against the door, but he does manage to wrap his arms around Kakashi’s waist and brush their noses together.

“I’d say you’re on, rival.”

#naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto fanfiction #naruto shippuden fanfiction #kakashi hatake #might gai #might guy #kakaguy #kakagai #pre-canon #anbu kakashi #kakashi's birthday isn't until september but i had this idea so here you go #yall can have it five months and five days early because i am so kind (and impatient)

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