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iiscpr · 5 months

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lemon yellow sun/ arms raised in a v

#maaaaaaaangeeerrrr babbiiieessssssss #guts is supposed to be in the coerner. rubns my face until my skin sears off #I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT I DONT LIKE IT its ok<-guy who is shocked the result came out differently after doing a completely different #process #i mean like it worked. i wanted to do a faster thing and i was able to finish it faster (only like. worked on this for 2 days) but it doesn #look like it normally looks and it bothers meeeeeeeeeeeeee #but it could also be a combination of that and like not knowing how to paint young children . snif #well at least im getting thru stuff so glad for progres...#sorry for propagandising my griffith playlist in the caption #anwya #berserk #griffith #my art #griffguts #sort of. sorry.

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brinkle-brackle · 2 months

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local boy (and dogs) befriend eccentric old man with weird laser pointer who is probably definitely not an alien at all

#HERE IT IS BOYSSSSSSSSSSS #i like to call this au the doc doc au :D #i came up with it back in uhhhhhh march? i think??#and it lived in my brain 24/7 for the next few months until i inevitably got fixated on something else #my doctor who fixation was in full swing and then simultaneously my bttf fixation relapsed so this was the result!!#i have a good handful of other doodles i did for this au backlogged so mayhaps i'll post em within the coming days if yall are interested :)#im gonna tag these as #mcflyjuly #for convenience cause these have to do with the idea i had for the 24th lone pine prompt :)#but yeh i hope you guys enjoy it!!#aight time to tag this bad boy #einstein back to the future #einstein the dog #einstein bttf #emmett brown #doctor emmett brown #doc brown #marty mcfly #back to the future #bttf #bttf au #back to the future au #doctor who #doctor who au #doc doc au #sam art #work cup doodles #sam says things

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prommytheus · 11 months

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grown-up sebastian debeste :]

#my art #sebastian debeste #this is my favorite drawing of him i’ve done yet tbh. hes so joyous and confident!!#im not a sebastian expert (yet…) so i dont have any real takes on how i think he’d turn out. but I THINK HE SHOULD TEACH AT THEMIS #like. he was the way that he was because of poor nurture and a lack of good role models willing to be honest with him- until justine & miles #he came into his own and his own autonomy and confidence because of teachers that believed in him and trusted him to take it #and i think he’d want to be that for someone #also i think he should still be a little overconfident but more as an intentional bit than as a result of ignorance #less ‘idiot who thinks hes hot shit’ more ‘orchestra/theatre teacher having the time of his life’#ALSO I GOT BORED OF ONLY EVER DRAWING HIM IN RED AND BLUE SKDKLSJD #green and yellow suit him ^_^ both bc of symbolism with miles and his dad & bc then he’ll compliment kay’s color scheme

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bigcats-birds-and-books · 5 months

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hello fellow denizens of our beloved hellsite, please help me select my next book to read based on ZERO propaganda, only titles and cover vibes. here are The Options:

and here they are, all lined up and waiting:

help me, button-pressing site, you're my only hope!!

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sadkachow · 2 months

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me: so yeah i feel super dizzy and lightheaded when i stand up and also just at random times of the day and also my heart just starts pounding randomly and it skips a beat randomly at least once a day and im also experiencing these other small things that i realized probably arent normal

the cardiologist: yeah, your heart’s beating too fast, but that’s just Normal Teenager Things™️! probably just like dehydration or something lol

#at least he sent me for blood tests and stuff #(which all came back normal)#and i have to wear a heart monitor for three days #my parents got mad at me because its been happening for a while and i didnt say anything #but in my defense i genuinely just didnt know that it wasnt normal #i thought that it just happened sometimes #also i didnt know the amount until i actually started to have to track it for the heart monitor #and maybe im not drinking Enough water but i genuinely dont think thats the main issue #i could be completely wrong but it feels like its more than that #we’ll see i guess #once im done with this and they get the results in and decide if they want to just brush it off or whatever #also had a nurse who was like weirdly insistent that i mustve been drinking a shit ton of soft drinks #just cause i mentioned that ill have a soft drink with meals sometimes (not nearly to the extent she was trying to say)#and she wouldnt believe me or my mom when we said that the soft drinks are pretty much always zero-sugar zero-caffeine #tachycardia #i mean thats what the doctor said it looks like #i dont really know what else to tag #chronic illness #maybe???#i dont know i dont have a diagnosis or anything so i dont wanna be like “oh thats def what that is”#also #pots #possibly #i did a shit ton of research on my own and i just really felt like what i was experiencing was lining up with it #but i dont wanna self diagnose

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aliasknives · 2 months

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OC insight: what kind of love are you?

take this uquiz as your OC and share your result!

thank you to the lovely @elinorbard for tagging me!

i have once again been infected by a mindflayer tadpole so I am talking about Isoldt again :)

Love as a Flaw

Cowering, your love hides in the dark. In shadows and under cover of night, your love runs from corner to corner, afraid to linger, afraid to be caught. Afraid, afraid, afraid of everything. When you fall in love, it is with alarm bells ringing. Your love is a mistake, a flaw in the code, a purchase you don’t remember making and desperately want to return. You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. It’s a problem–– your problem ––and you would do anything to pass it off, burn it away, scoop it out of you with bare hands, or carved out with hooked knives before it can destroy you. Get it out, just get it out now. You don’t care who you hurt in the process, only that you can’t afford to be hurt first. Being loved by you is to be loved by a figment of the imagination. It is to be loved in halves, or not at all.

relevant ao3 tags:

mutual pining, religious imagery and symbolism, religious guilt, hurt/comfort, angst, implied/referenced self-harm, feelings realization, denial of feelings, self-flagellation

ow. yeah. That’s her alright (eventually she grows away from it, but I mostly write pre-canon and she’s firmly in this mindset)

I’m tagging @femmeharel, @threeofswrds, @collegeoflore, and @flamemittens if you want to join!

#girl who is never happy until she takes an icepick to the skull #this result was a gut punch btw like yeah that’s her…………#oc: isoldt #thank you for tagging me!!!#most of these tags came from slow hands lol. where I explored her sad little mind for 6k+ words #bg3

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meownotgood · 11 months

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childhood friends w aki and he punches out some guy who was rude to you and completely forgets about it as an adult. you’ll be like remember when you hit (x) that was so cool when we were teenagers. and he’ll be like ?? what the hell are you talking about. and yet he remembers the dumb stuff like taking a pen from your least favorite high school teacher or putting gum in the shoe of a girl who was mean to you - 🍊

YES THIS... EXACTLY THIS....

you can't help but tease him about it a little, aki was so rude to everyone but you when you were kids and he wouldn't stand for anyone messing with you. if you were ranting to him about some kids in your class that kept making fun of you his first response would always be, "do you want me to beat them up for you? they'll leave you alone then." (you'd always say no, you know he's serious about it and you just don't want him to get in trouble).

now, when you ask aki about it he's always like, "huhhh... I wouldn't do something like that." but yes he definitely would. and he knows he probably did. he's just embarrassed to admit it.

#it's like... he does those things but he doesn't tell you #you remember one time when you were in elementary school #this one mean kid wouldn't stop messing with you at recess #suddenly though she didn't come to school for a few days #and when she came back she was totally different #you overheard the teachers gossiping #and saying there was a note left in her locker that said if she didn't stop being mean a devil was gonna get her #you (innocent kid) ask aki if he heard what happened and he's like #weird... who would do something like that #(it was totally him you just didn't realize until you thought about it again way later)#gah... the childhood friends thoughts with aki are buzzing.......#reader and aki who are both treated differently by all the other kids so they grow close as a result #still planning to write about this someday #ask mags #aki <3

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aureentuluva70 · 5 months

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Yet west they wandered by ways of thirst, and haggard hunger, hunted often, and hiding in holes and hollow caverns, by their fate defended. At the furthest end of Dor-na-Fauglith's dusty spaces to a mighty mound in the moon looming they came at midnight: it was crowned with mist, bedewed as by drops of drooping tears. 'A! green that hill with grass fadeless, where sleep the swords of seven kindreds, where the folk of Faërie once fell uncounted. There was fought the field by folk naméd Nirnaith Ornoth, Unnumbered Tears. 'Twas built with the blood of the beaten people; neath moon nor sun is it mounted ever by Man nor Elf; not Morgoth's host ever dare for dread to delve therein.' Thus Flinding faltered, faintly stirring Túrin's heaviness, that he turned his hand toward Thangorodrim, and thrice he cursed the maker of mourning, Morgoth Bauglir.

-The Lay of the Children of Hurin

#silmarillion #tolkien #children of hurin #turin #gwindor #lay of the children of hurin #this was one of those moments where I was like 'ok i HAVE to draw this'#though i'm kind of 'meh' on the result #i don't really know how light works #and i mostly just messed around until i came to something i was ok with

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anotherpapercut · 1 year

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just officially sent in my resignation for my fucking childhood dream workplace

#my boss always talks about her 'guilt complex' lmao. as soon as i have another job and dont need to worry about burning bridges #im sending this bitch a letter detailing exactly why she deserves to feel guilty for the rest of her fucking life #i hope she lies awake at night picturing my face. fully intend on letting her know how close i came to killing myself.#fully intend on intentionally continuously saying its bc SHE MADE ME anxious and SHE MADE ME depressed #since she doesnt believe she can make me anxious #i hope she has to attend therapy. i want to make her feel as guilty as she made me feel like fucking shit #fully just wish nothing but the worst for her for the rest of her lonely miserable life. i hope she realizes soon that everyone hates her #truly one of the people she considers to be a close family member also works in our department and hates her!#talks all the time about how awful she is and how horribly she treats all of us #i hope she feels that hatred every day of her fucking life and i hope she never sees true happiness as a result #until the day that my memories of my childhood refuge from abuse are no longer tainted by HER abuse‚ i pray she never knows peace

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slugandthorn · 9 months

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The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

#.txt #i got soooo mad in the car driving home thinking about how his drug addiction is essentially the classic anime heart condition.#in that the only side effect of the suppressants is that they will kill him. like?#i realized for the longest time i had assumed the chest pain and sweating came from the drugs but thats. castor. obviously.#it doesnt affect his mood or his awareness its like a mood stabilizer pain relief pill?#its so odd that hes framed as like. being addicted to illegal street drugs. BY THE NARRATIVE.#when its more like hes on the most insane experimental medication that they wont even test on like. rats.#also im not fact checking any of this before posting. so i might be lying about things.#idk if it was all of strega that had trouble controlling their personas but like. chidori was because of the Experimentation.#and shinjis just like. mentally ill coded. in a bad way 😭#The inability to regulate a mood/stimuli to the point where he can be unsafe to himself or others.#broad ass symptom of disorders that are not treated well. its also interesting that its not brought on by a specific event.#like the childhood fire is there. but you have akihiko right there to directly compare it to. and hes arguably more effected by it all.#and he seems to be coping well 10+ years on like some coping mechanisms are kind of weird (protein) but nothing super out of the ordinary.#so the problem is really the october 4th incident which was just a pure honest to god accident.#the fact that it gets covered up as a car accident does feel like the best like. emotional equivalent.#because it being shinji being unable to control his persona his true representation of himself and it resulting in death is sooooo bleak #and it weighs on him for 2+ years of being suicidal and unhoused until finally he goes through with his suicide by martyrdom.#i lost the plot a little bit on the gender situation with the vague allusions to fraility when story convenient #acting as dorm den mother and cooking and sewing long hair jacket sillhouette reading like a dress #was referring to that before mental illness took over. woman under the influencing this anime boy.#long way of saying i think he should have a over the shoulder ponytail when hes older. and he should have a mood disorder.

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sonknuxadow · 9 months

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as funny as the idea of shadow being completely unable to use technology is i feel like it doesnt actually make much sense because like . yeah he basically fell asleep 50 years ago and woke up in the modern day and theres been a lot of changes in culture and technology that he'd have to get used to. but he wasnt living on earth with zero exposure to computers he was living on a space station where the science was advanced enough for them to be able to create him. maybe he'd struggle a bit using modern computers/phones/etc but i dont think he'd just know nothing about technology either. you know.

#i think that out of the sonic cast knuckles would probably be the worst with computers actually not shadow #anyway. this isnt specifically about shadow and computers #but i am kinda obsessed with thinking about how shadow was born on a space station and then came down to earth later #and had to adjust to All That. like yeah hes probably never seen a cell phone before #but how did it feel for him to experience rain for the first time. feeling the grass and seeing the flowers in person #and theres also the fact that everyone on the ark was human except for him #he had presumably never seen anyone who looked anything like him (in person anyway) until he came to earth #how did it feel running into sonic and rouge after only ever interacting with humans for his whole life so far #also are there any behavioral differences between shadow and other hedgehogs that are a result of him being raised by humans

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slomsonium · 3 months

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art assignment

edit: oh my god tumblr compressed the ever-loving shit out of this video i am so sorry

#art #original art #animation #original animation #art assignment #original song #breakcore #timelapse #i actually finished this animation a good while ago but i didn't upload it #besides the animation i also made the music and i took the timelapse myself (which literally took me 2 hours to do)#i wanted to wait until my results came back before posting it cus i didn't want my school to think i was plagiarising myself haha #anyways im currently working on a new animation for an art assignment and it'll probably be a while until that gets finished #anyways i hope yall have a lovely day/night

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chiropteracupola · 1 year

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only room for one on the phone at a time :/

[text taken from the most ominous advertisement for telephones I've ever seen]

#em draws stuff #team fortress 2 #spy tf2 #sniper tf2 #he's dead but he's there #blood #spy is fun to draw because I can yell and complain for the whole time about how difficult he is to draw #and then also look up pictures of both various jamesbonds and also the monkees for reference. he is in the middle of those two things.#but in the end this and the conversational feedback loop have resulted in Em Is Now Good At Draw Mr Spy Teamfortress. I Win.#...like cliftonsimage this is a sillygoofy thing that I ended up putting so much effort and time into #which is narratively suitable since I came across this photo while hunting for reference pictures for cliftonsimage!#unrelatedly. when will autodesk sketchbook add layer groups. there are so many textures and overlays on this thing #and I keep losing things in among the pile of multiply soft-glow multiply hard-light hue until the end of time...

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blorbologist · 8 months

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New Cat’s Cradle chapter, perhaps?

Hi.

I appreciate that you like the fic enough to want more of it. Did you... see the author's notes at the end of the last chapter?

The last updates were less than a month ago. I'm writing my Master's thesis. I haven't had much time for fic since posting that heads up.

Also, fwiw, treating an author like a vending machine for content is a great way to jam the muse up. It's not quite the compliment you might think it is! It's really dehumanizing and actually makes me want to do anything but touch that fic.

Don't needle authors for updates if you actually want updates. It usually produces the opposite effect, and is pretty rude.

So no, no new Cat's Cradle chapter.

#the irony is I'd drafted up the next one with some prompts friends gave me.#was going to wait until i had time + general strike ended before prep. but actually I'd rather slog through academic writing instead!!#yall have no idea how close I came to deleting the fic in sept bc I loathed it and oh that impulse is back baby #also yknow we're in the middle of a strike. I've hardly rb'd any fandom content as a result. and I certainly don't want to post fic rn

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topaztimes · 5 months

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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that

#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews #Maybe another filler. Just for some fun #Is this enough?#It certainly is now #Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight #'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing #I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea #What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed #I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore #I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done #I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though #I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward #I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme #Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way #God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs #It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days #Literally what am I doing this for #And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life #Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me #Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus #I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore #It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until

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sonderbucky · 2 months

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medical anxiety is so fun!!!!!!

#I’m literally in shambles lol #my blood tests came back and everything that was normal a year ago is now either incredibly high or incredibly low :)))#I know the cholesterol and high blood pressure is genetic #but everything else?!?!?!?!#I won’t know anything until tomorrow bc I got these results late after the dr office closed #so I’m just trying to tell myself to calm down and sleep and my doctor will let me know tomorrow #but I’m just !!!!!!!!! I hate this #shut up krystal

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