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pensthoughts · 2 months ago

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mine first | v.p

pairing: van palmer x f!reader summary: after the crash, van starts getting closer to someone who isn’t you. you’ve always been hers. until suddenly, you’re not. jealousy builds, things go unsaid, and doomcoming brings everything to the surface. word count: 2.8k contains: angst, blood, jealousy, miscommunication, shroom stew, slight smut towards the end, fingering (r!receiving)

the thing about being van's best friend was that you never had to share.

back home, that was just the way it was. people came and went— boyfriends, teammates, randoms from parties— but it was always you and her in the end. she'd come to your locker before school even if she had to loop around the long way. she'd call you first when something dumb happened. you always got the front seat in her car, and you never had to ask.

but the wilderness had its way of changing things, and it was so jarring when she started choosing someone else.

not officially. not out loud. but you weren't stupid. you noticed when she started walking next to tai more than you. when they laughed too easily, too often. when van didn't immediately make eye contact with you after a joke, like she always used to.

you tried not to take it personally.

but it was personal. obviously.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you pulled her aside and told her you wanted to go when they were heading out, looking for any trace of civilization.

"i should come," you said, arms crossed, jaw tight. "i can help."

van gave you this smile that you used to find charming. now it just loked like someone talking down to you. "we've got it covered," she said.

"oh, tai's got it covered?" you snapped before you could stop yourself.

her eyebrows shot up. "is this what we're doing now?"

you rolled your eyes, but your face was hot. "whatever. doesn't matter."

"it matters if you're gonna be weird about it."

"i'm not being weird. i just don't want you to get eaten by something out there and me being stuck here roasting squirrel with shauna."

that got a laugh out of her. "you're so dramatic."

you scowled. "says the girl marching into the woods like it's lord of the flies."

but van wasn't listening anymore. she was already calling over to tai, already slipping away like you hadn't been arguing, like you hadn't just tried to claw your way back into the space that used to belong to you.

you watched her go, jaw clenched, arms crossed, stomach turning.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you hated how much you checked the tree line after that.

every hour. every shadow. every time a squirrel rustled leaves, your heart launched into your throat. you weren't even mad anymore— you were scared. and that made you mad again.

she was supposed to come back to you. that was the deal.

when they did return— bruised and bleeding, dragging each other through the dirt, your body moved before your brain did. you sprinted toward her.

she was soaked in dried blood, her face pale, eyes foggy. she barely looked like herself.

"van?" you choked out.

she blinked at you like she wasn't sure if you were real. "hey," she rasped.

you reached for her, but she flinched away.

"it's okay," she murmured, wincing as she leaned heavier into taissa. "i'm okay."

you nodded, even though nothing about her looked okay.

while they cleaned her wounds, you hovered. you couldn't stop. it was like your body needed to be near her to remember how to breathe. you wiped blood from her jaw with shaking fingers as they stitched her face together—and she didn't stop you this time. she just looked at you like she wanted to say something.

but she didn't.

that night, you sat next to her while she slept, curled up in blankets, her breaths ragged. you stared at her face and thought:

i should've been there.

she should've picked me.

and then, worst of all: what is she doesn't come back to me?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

after that, it wasn't just that van and tai were close— it was that they started acting like you weren't part of it.

inside jokes, soft glances, little touches.

it was the way van lit up when tai made some dry comment. the way they walked off together to check snares, whispering and laughing and forgetting you were even nearby. it made your skin crawl.

you kept telling yourself you didn't care. that it was fine. that you were just tired and stressed and sunburned and hungry.

but then you'd see van hand tai a piece of fruit or tuck her hair behind her ear or laugh that laugh—the one she used to save for you—and something inside you would just snap.

one day, van flopped down next to you by the fire like nothing was wrong.

"you missed a good show earlier," she said, grinning. "tai fell straight into the stream chasing a rabbit. i thought she was gonna drown in six inches of water."

you didn't look up. "bet that was hilarious."

van blinked at you. "okay... what's your problem?"

you finally met her eyes. "nothing. go talk to tai about it. i'm sure she thought it was so funny."

her face fell, and for a second you felt guilty. but then you remembered the way she'd been basically ignoring you all week, and the guilt curdled into something darker.

"she's not replacing you," van said quietly.

"oh, cool," you said, voice flat. "good to know."

"i'm allowed to have more than one friend, you know."

you scoffed. "that's funny. because it kinda feels like i'm the one getting cut out."

van narrowed her eyes. "seriously, what's going on with you?"

you shrugged. "guess i don't like being someone's second choice."

her face shifted— hurt, maybe. or anger. you didn't wait around to figure it out.

you were still stewing over it when jackie found you later.

"you look pissed," she observed, chewing something that looked vaguely edible.

"do i?" you muttered.

jackie followed your gaze to where van and tai were sitting. too close. again.

"god," you snapped. "it's like they're glued together."

"she almost died," jackie said midly.

you shot her a glare. "and? that mean she's tai's now?"

jackie raised her eyebrows. "damn. jealous much?"

"i'm not jealous," you snapped, even though you obviously were. "i'm just saying, if someone almost got eaten by wolves and came back covered in blood, maybe they should want to be around people who actually care about them."

"she knows you care about her," jackie said. "it's just...tai does too."

you shook your head. "it's not the same. it's never been the same."

you didn't know what you meant by that. not really. just that van had always been yours, in some quiet, unwritten way. she knew all your moods, your looks, your dumb fears. you didn't have to explain yourself around her— and now suddenly you felt like a stranger to her, like she was choosing someone else over you every single day.

and you didn't know why that made your chest feel like it was caving in.

later, van found you by the stream.

"you've been avoiding me," she said, like she was annoyed. not hurt— annoyed.

you rolled your eyes. "maybe i just don't like watching you flirt with your new favorite person."

van crossed her arms. "wow. subtle."

you didn't answer.

she sighed. "look. i'm sorry. if i made you feel—"

"forget it," you cut in. "you don't have to explain."

van looked at you for a long time. "i should've let you come with us."

you stayed silent.

"i thought i was protecting you," she said softly. "but maybe i was just... scared."

that pulled your eyes up to hers.

"i kept thinking, if something happened to you out there—" she shook her head. "i wouldn't come back from that."

your heart lurched. then why does it feel like you already left me behind?

you didn't say it. you just nodded.

"i'm still glad you're here," she added.

you wanted to say then act like it.

you wanted to say don't look at her like that.

you wanted to say i miss you so much it makes me sick.

instead, you looked away and said, "yeah. me too."

that night, you laid awake, listening to the creak of wood and the soft sounds of breathing.

van was asleep across the room, turned toward taissa.

you hated how much you noticed.

you hated that she didn't feel like yours anymore.

you hated that you didn't know why that mattered so much.

but mostly, you hated that no matter how angry you got, how bratty or bitter or stubborn, you still would've followed her into the woods.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

doomcoming.

someone got the idea to throw a fake homecoming dance, like if we acted normal enough, we'd forget where we were. like candles and dresses could erase the crash, the cold, the blood dried into the seams of everything we wore. so we wore our dresses, found a half bottle of something flammable to light in jars, and misty cooked some sketchy stew that tasted like it had been soaked in moss and secrets.

you should've laughed. instead, you let mari smudge something dark on your cheeks and handed over your nicest shirt to be torn into ribbons.

because everyone else was pretending. and if they could do it, maybe you could too.

except now it's hot.

not temperature-wise— the woods are already tipping into that late-fall chill, and your summer dress isn't helping—but your blood feels like it's boiling. you're flushed and fidgety, pacing in the flicker of torchlight, heart pounding like it's springing away from you.

van's laughing across the clearning, eyes locked on tai.

of course.

you tip your head back and down the rest of mari's DIY alcohol, something sour and wild buzzing beneath your skin. there must've been something in the stew because everything looks like it's on fire—glittering, golden, wrong.

she's supposed to be yours.

van. van who always used to sit next to you and crack jokes to make you smile. van who used to say you were the only thing keeping her sane out here. van who now followed tai around like a lost puppy.

you were always the one who knew her best. until you weren't.

and maybe it's the herbs or the hunger or whatever, but the twist in your chest won't stop. you feel like you might explode. like your skin's too tight, like your throat might crack open if you don't say something.

you march toward her.

"having fun?" you say, voice saccharine, fake smile clamped on your face like the matching masks that the pair in front of you were wearing.

van blinks at you, surprised. "hey, you look—woah. you look amazing."

tai snorts beside her. "she's been saying that to everyone tonight."

you flinch.

van notices.

your mouth curls into a bitter smile. "don't let me interrupt."

van's brow furrows. "what's your deal?"

"my deal?" you echo. "oh, i don't know, maybe it's that fact that my best friend ditched me to play pretend with her new girlfriend."

tai raises an eyebrow but walks away—smart girl. you're halfway to feral.

van stares at you. "she's not—what the hell, are you drunk?"

"maybe. what's it to you?" your voice wobbles, too loud, too sharp. you hate yourself for it. hate how much you care. hate that she hasn't said your name all night.

"i didn't know i needed your permission to talk to people," van says, and it's so casual, like you're just being silly, just overreacting like always.

the words punch out of you before you can stop them. "you used to talk to me"

silence.

her eyes widen.

you suck in a breath, the fog in your head thick and spinning. "and then you left. you just left. you didn't let me come with you when you went looking for help, and then you came back all bloody and broken and i—"

your voice breaks and you realize that everyone else has disappeared.

van takes a step toward you, jaw tight. "you were mad at me?"

"i was scared," you snap. "and then i was mad. because you came back looking like a horror movie and all you cared about was tai. you didn't even look for me."

"that's not true."

"no?" you laugh, humorless. "could've fooled me."

she's close now. close enough to touch, and you're trembling, and you don't even know what you want anymore except that you want her.

"i thought you didn't want me anymore," you admit, quieter now. "i thought you picked her."

van stares at you like you've grown another head.

"i didn't pick anybody," she says finally. "i didn't know i had to."

you blink at her, eyes glassy. "well, i didn't know i wanted to be picked until i saw you looking at her like that."

silence again.

she reaches out, fingertips brushing your arm. "you're acting like i dumped you. we weren't even—"

"we were." your voice is a whisper now. "we were something. i don't care what it was, but it was real, and now it's gone."

she exhales slowly. "it's not gone."

you meet her eyes.

"then why does it feel like it is?" you say, a little girl's voice, broken and raw.

"i don't know." van looks down, then back at you, eyes blazing. "maybe because we're idiots."

you let out a breathy, half-crazed laugh. "yeah. maybe."

another beat passes. then—

"you know," she says, licking her lips, "if you wanted me to kiss you, you could've just said something instead of throwing a tantrum."

"shut up," you whisper.

van leans in. "make me."

you kiss her like you're starving.

her hands find your waist, yours her hair. you taste berries and ash and her. the night spins around you—lights pulsing, torches flaring, the world cracking at the edges—but all you feel is her. her mouth, her body, her hands gripping you like she's trying to pin you back into the shape of something she lost.

you pull away first, gasping.

"i'm still mad at you," you murmur, forehead pressed to hers.

"good," she breathes. "you're hot when you're mad."

you kiss her again—harder, messier this time, like you're burning through the weeks of silence and jealousy and everything you didn't say. it's reckless and loud and a little wild, but so are you. so is she. so is this whole damn place.

your hands are under her shirt before you've even though about it, nails grazing her ribs as she exhales sharpy against your lips. she tastes like smoke and salt and something sweeter. something only hers. you kiss her like you hate her for how much you still want her.

van presses you back until your spine hits a tree with a dull thud, her thigh sleeping between yours with purpose. the friction pulls a sound from you—needy, half-strangled— and it makes her smirk.

"there she is," she murmurs, dragging her mouth along your jaw, "knew you missed me."

you grab a fistful of her hair and pull, just enough to make her groan, "just shut up and touch me."

"bossy," she breathes, but her hand's already working it's way down, sliding under your dress. she hums low in her throat when her fingers find you—warm and wet.

"fuck," she whispers, like she wasn't expecting it, like it ruins her, "you're dripping,"

and then she's inside you—two fingers, deep and slow, like she's savoring it, like she wants to drag it out. you bite your lip hard enough to taste blood, hips jerking forward, but she pins you in place with her free hand on your wast.

"let me," she growls, voice gone rough. "just—fuck—let me feel you."

her fingers curl just right, just there, and your knees nearly give out. she keeps you upright, mouth back on yours, swallowing the sounds you make as she starts to move—steady, relentless, filling you up with the same energy she kisses you with: wild and aching and a little furious.

you claw at her back, her shoulders, anything you can reach, and she moans into your mouth like she's the one coming undone.

"you gonna come for me?" she asks, breath hot against your ear. "all over my fingers? c'mon, i know you can"

she rubs her thumb over your clit, and it's game over—your body arches, pleasure crashing through you like a tidal wave. you shatter against her, every muscle drawn tight before your break, gasping her name like a prayer.

she holds you through it, still moving, slower now, coaxing every last twitch and whimper out of you.

when it's over, you slump against her, boneless. she kisses your temple, gentle now, a contrast to the chaos of a minute ago.

"i'm still mad," you mutter, breathless.

van laughs, low and smug. "yeah? then maybe i'll have to make it up to you again later."

you're still catching your breath when van eases her fingers out, slow and sticky, then brings them to her lips like she can't help herself. she sucks them clean while staring at you like she wants to ruin you again—and your whole body shivers under it.

"you taste so good," she murmurs, grinning like the devil.

you barely manage to lift your head. "you're such a showoff."

she leans in, nose brushing yours, "you love it."

you can't help but think that maybe you'll both wake up tomorrow regretting everything, heads pounding, hearts bruised.

but right now?

right now, you finally feel like she's yours again.

#van palmer x reader #van x reader #van palmer #vanessa palmer #yellowjackets #van yellowjackets #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets s3 #yellowjackets season 3 #van palmer x you #yellowjackets x reader #doomcoming

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vevobly · 9 months ago

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Yellowjackets Jealousy Headcanons!

A/N: This has you being romantically involved with them in mind, but you can interpret it however you want. Devour and enjoy as always!

Jackie Taylor:

Jackie thrives on attention, especially yours. So when it goes to someone else? Oh boy, you are in big trouble.

Jackie would practically be steaming. Whether you're aware or unaware of what you're doing to her, she'd be pissed.

Her jealousy would be subtle but to those who knew her well, it would be clear as fucking daylights.

Jackie would either resort to making passive aggressive comments or trying to one-up the person she's jealous of.

Like, if someone compliments you too much—she would just appear out of nowhere and insert herself between you guys.

Now, I'm not antagonizing Jackie here! But I fully believe the girl has some sort of popular complexity. So when you hang out with someone she deems "beneath" her social circle, she gets especially jealous.

Shauna Shipman:

Knowing Shauna, her jealousy would definitely be felt more than heard. Oh, and she'd probably bottle it all up until she explodes.

She’ll watch the way you interact with others, her eyes narrowing whenever someone else makes you laugh or smiles at you in a way she doesn’t like.

Shauna won’t confront you directly (unless she's forced into a corner into doing that) about it.

But she will subtly manipulate certain situations so you spend more time alone with her.

Shauna will definitely feel guilty about it. And very insecure at the same time that she'll ask you stuff like — “you’re not… bored of me, right?

Taissa Turner:

Jealousy does not get to Taissa. And if it did, she would not be jealous openly. I mean, she's confident in her relationship with you.

But if someone does start "flirting" with you, she's immediately stepping right in. Cool and collective.

She won't lash out or anything like that, she'll just remind them (and maybe you) who's in charge.

If jealousy really does get to her? She'd just go up to you and discuss it. That's about it.

Unless she's extremely jealous, then she might start controlling your time with other people for a bit. No worries! It won't last for too long.

Van Palmer:

Van would act like she’s all cool with it, but she's not. She would get extremely protective of you in a certain way when she's jealous.

Like, this girl will joke about you “breaking her heart” but also hover near you whenever she senses someone else than her vying for your attention.

Now, Van trusts you. But her insecurities have their own little way of just wiggling into her head, especially when someone attractive or successful tries to get your attention.

She’ll become more affectionate with you, using that to ward off any people trying to make their moves on you.

If you question it, she'll just laugh it off. Insist you're being a little silly because she knows better than anyone else just how much you love her.

Natalie Scatorccio:

Natalie's jealousy is explosive, and she definitely would not try just one tiny bit to hide it at all.

She wouldn't be afraid to confront the person making her jealous. And this girl's anger is not something you want to be directed at you (unless you're into it).

Because Nat's anger comes out in sharp words or her just being destructive.

If you’re being too friendly with someone else; she’ll lash out and tell you “why don’t you just go be with them, then?” — better grovel for her.

Since Nat has issues with being abandoned or betrayed, she'd probably pull back from you emotionally. Just becoming distant or reckless to protect herself from being hurt, especially by you.

Lottie Matthews:

Lottie's jealousy would just be strangely calm. Similar to Jackie and Shauna, she'd be pretty subtle about it.

Like, she'd just give off vibes that make the person making her jealous uncomfortable. Just thus quiet unnerving way of making them back off without saying a word.

With Lottie, I feel like you wouldn't even know she's jealous unless she tells you that herself or you just know her too well to know it.

If the person she's jealous of isn't backing off. One way or another, this girl will stir you away from that person no matter what.

She'll make certain stuff up so you go far from this person. Like someone needing you for something and so.

Laura Lee:

This girl would just be battling her jealousy! Like, she'd try so hard to suppress any feelings of jealousy because she sees them wrong.

But she still can't help it get to her sometimes. She'll feel sad, hurt when someone gets too close to you.

Like, she'll pray for strength and try her best to rationalize her feelings, but then it would still get to her and she'll end up saying stuff like “I guess I’m just not enough for you”

Laura Lee would feel guilty as hell when she's jealous, and when she ends up saying those words to you.

I feel like Laura Lee would be the type to go out of her way to be even kinder and more supportive to you when she feels jealous, just hoping that makes you choose her over anyone else because of how loving and faithful she is to you.

Misty Quigley:

Now this girl, you just don't make her jealous ever, okay? Misty’s jealousy is intense and can literally turn dangerous if it flares up through the skies.

When Misty is jealous, she’ll go to extreme lengths. From manipulating situations to outright sabotaging other people trying to get close with you, she will do anything to get rid of any competition.

This girl would manipulate you so much. Mostly painting herself as a wounded person who has no one else but you.

Misty doesn’t like sharing your attention with anyone else. So when you do, she'll become increasingly clingy and demanding of your time.

If you even start spending too much time with anyone else, she’ll guilt-trip you and say things like “don’t you care about me anymore?”

#yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #jackie taylor x reader #jackie taylor x you #shauna shipman x reader #shauna shipman x you #taissa turner x reader #taissa turner x you #van palmer x reader #van palmer x you #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x you #lottie matthews x reader #lottie matthews x you #laura lee x reader #laura lee x you #misty quigley x reader #misty quigley x you #headcanons

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worshipmyruin · 13 days ago

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Van Palmer Pre-Crash Headcanons

(nsfw under the cut)

sfw

Van who doesn’t even need to ask to come over when she’s fighting with her mom, she just does. She’ll sneak through your window, which you always have open, and just lie down in next to you.

Van who confides in you in ways she’s never done before. You’re just so easy to talk to for her. It’s a blessing and a curse.

Van who crushes on you hard when she finds out you like movies in the same way as her. She’s caught off guard when you start talking about how you watched ‘Back to the Future’ so much your tape started wearing out.

Who absolutely loses it when she finds out you watch X-files! You guys talk about the smoking man and how Scully is way too good for Mulder, although you’re both just as fascinated with the slow burn of their relationship.

Van who subtly gives hints about her dyke-ness. Just sort of dropping that she ‘doesn’t see herself getting married to a man ever’. It’s not like you couldn’t tell from the way she dressed, or the way she stared.

Van who is so fucking scared to ask you to hang out, is certain she’s gonna die. She acts all non-chalant, but the tomato shade on her cheeks gives way to her true feelings. You make her nervous.

Van who asks you out on a date in the nerdiest way possible 🤭 she burns a cd for you full of songs that remind her of you, finds an ultra rare copy of your favourite movie on VHS (which she looked for for weeks!) and then invites you to the arcade 😩

Van who can’t. Stop. Looking. At. You. Seriously, it’s a problem now. She physically cannot bring herself to look away, how can she? You’re so perfect. So beautiful. So you. She steals glances while you bite your lip, trying to win whatever stuffed toy that you’re gonna waste $20 on.

Van who kisses you in your car before you drop her off, scared to shit that you don’t like her that way back and you’re actually just viewing this as being ‘best gal pals’.

Van who’s shocked when you kiss her back, smiling against her lips and muttering ‘I like you too.’ each word brushing against her mouth. She’ll be damned if she doesn’t do it again.

Van who asks you to be your girlfriend after you ramble on about one of your special interests. Who immediately turns red and tries to cover it up with “or whatever… I was just joking.”

Van who literally jumps out of her seat when you say yes. “Wait, seriously? You will? Oh my god. You’re so stupid.”

Van who always links pinkies with you under the table at Yellowjackets team-bonding dinners, needing to have some sort of touch or she’ll go insane.

Van who’s the biggest, clumsiest gentleman you’ve ever seen. Fumbling over herself to open your car door, holding her hand out in the most dramatic way ever and still managing to fall on her ass.

Just clumsy van in general ☺️

kissing all her bruises and scrapes from practice and general falling, she’s clumsy everywhere expect the field and the bedroom, and you adore her for it.

Thinking about Van doing couples costumes with reader! Something really cheesy like Han Solo (or Van solo… you get it?) and Leia or… oh she’d totally do Mulder and Scully, she’d rock a suit. She’d be Scully though. Ginger for ginger.

Always skipping class with you to hangout in her trailer (her mom’s passed out on the couch), listening to music and just trying to forget the world. Holding hands while the music fades into the background and you’re just… connected.

Van who kisses every part of you head to toe if you’re body dysmorphic/insecure/just overall upset.

nsfw

van palmer gives the messiest, sloppiest head you’ll ever receive. It’s all over-eager tongue, her lips moving at a pace unmatched to the likes of Usain Bolt. you’re a 5 course meal, and she’s starving. “slow down…” you usher her, though you’re met with a grunt and even faster movements.

she gets sooo pussydrunk and will just stay between your thighs for the whole night. She would genuinely sleep there if she could. You just smell and taste like heaven.

^^ oral fixation, definitely.

when you’re mean, she gets so turned on. Doesn’t even need to be mean to someone else, it could be her. “God, you’re such an idiot.” Ohhh I just know her clit is twitching when you insult her, she should take offense but with you looking at her like that… ugh, she could cum just from the sight.

Van is all bark, no bite. Talks a big game, says she’s gonna tease you but when you finally take off your bra… oh lord. She’s on her knees, pushing up your skirt and muttering about how good you taste.

Prides herself on the ability to make you cum so you quick! Every time you cum it’s this big ego boost for her, the next day she walks around like she’s won the lottery. In her eyes, she has.

loves loves loves your tits. you flashed her in the locker rooms once and she drooled, she actually drooled onto the floor. Will suck on them for hours, popping a tit into her mouth whenever she won’t shut up? Her dream.

Will leave hickeys all over your boobs (if given permission) because why not? No one else should be seeing them except from her, so no one should have a problem.

Grabbing your ass while you rut against her thigh, her leg pressing up against your wet cunt. The little grunts she makes when she’s trying really hard. Her head falling back in a pornographic manor. She’s soooo smitten.

Van is a pillow princess in disguise. When you wanna make her feel good, she’s a little hesitant. She doesn’t like being all… vulnerable. But when you start toying with her nipples, she’s whimpering and begging for more. “oh fuck… please, please just fuck me.”

The first time you guys have sex is like awkward fireworks. All flailing limbs and whispered sorry’s, a few head bumps too. But once you finally find that rhythm… it’s like a dam bursts inside you and you can’t help but feel this wave of love from her, knowing she’s willing to do this with you. It melts your heart.

If Van took your virginity, she’d be so so so conscious about everything. “Is this alright? Are you okay? Do you need a break? Some water?” She just needs to know you’re okay.

But when you show that you’re really, really okay. She’ll be a bit rougher, not too much to the point of pain but a gentle sort of roughness.

VAN WHO MANHANDLES YOU!!! She’ll just pick you up and push you onto the bed if you’re teasing her.

If you’re spooning and she can tell you’re horny, she’ll just stuff her fingers into your pants and play with your clit.

The night before nationals, at the party, you have some of the filthiest sex ever. Running off the high of the anticipation of going to nationals, the thought of you two having a bed to share in a room by yourself with basically no adults. It’s getting to her. And you wearing that dress is not helping.

She’d drag you away from your friends and go further into the woods, push you up against a tree and fuck you so hard you forget where you are. This is the only time you’ll see her be rough without warning to you. Maybe something in the air is making her a little wild. Wilderness calls.

thank you for reading my little headcanons!! drop any requests! Remember, these are my own personal head canons that you might not agree with <3

#van palmer #van palmer x reader #vanessa palmer

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catssluvr · 1 month ago

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missing you, van palmer

adult!van palmer x college!reader (1.2k words) (request)

in which it’s your last exam and van makes sure to take care of you

warnings: very very suggestive towards the ending, fluff!!

ᝰ.ᐟ ᝰ.ᐟ

“You sure it wasn’t a better idea for me to drive you there?” Van’s fingers lace with yours as she asks.

“Yeah, i needed the fresh air.” You breathe, having missed what it felt like to have a nice walk while buried in notebooks for the last three weeks.

But you don’t feel completely relieved just yet, as the end of the walk will be when you arrive at campus for your last final.

“Okay, but i am picking you up.” She asserts.

You hum, taking the last sip of the coffee in your hand with a big gulp when the building comes into view. If you were already nervous, this feels like your heart might explode at any moment.

You studied hard, you’re aware of that. At least enough to know you miss Van like mad and she does too. There’s a slight guilt on the back of your mind telling you that you haven’t been the best girlfriend for neglecting her because of an exam. But if she’s bothered, she definitely hasn’t shown.

“Hey, you’re gonna do great, pretty girl.” Her voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

You’re standing at the entrance now, but you still have a few minutes before you actually have to go in.

She pulls you into an embrace, fitting your head onto her neck before pressing a long kiss to your hair. Her smell is enough to make you feel at least a bit distracted.

You let yourself fall against her, fingers burying on her waist covered by a brown jacket.

“Go smash it, yeah?” She moves to hold your face in her hands.

“I’ll try my best.” You mumble, receiving a disapproving scrunch of a nose from the red head.

“I will be right here when you get out.” She promises, pressing a loud kiss to your lips that are definitely a bit cracked from all the anxious biting. “Love you.”

“Love you, Van.” You smile lovingly, forcing yourself to pull apart from her as she taps your waist in a signal that you know means you should probably go.

Her wide smile paired with a wink is the last thing you see before walking into the building.

Times goes by rather slowly and after the two hours that felt like a day of doing the exam, the only thing you want to do is lay on Van’s couch and do nothing for a whole week.

The weight from before has been lifted off your shoulders, glad for how well you feel like you did and relieved that it’s over.

As promised, Van is standing right outside. Her back is against her car and her lips stretch into a smile as her eyes land on you.

You might just have to jump into her arms and kiss her senselessly.

There’s a hopeful expression on her face but she looks relaxed, seeming to have picked up on your slightly bright mood.

“Hey, pretty lady.” Her smooth voice rings through the air as you approach, your small smile turning into a beam.

“Pretty sure i just nailed that exam.” You lift your head proudly.

“No surprise there.” She quips lowly, pulling you by the jacket to wrap you in a tight hug, “So proud of you.”

She finally lets go of you after a nice moment, immediately pulling you close again to press smiley kisses to your lips.

“I missed this.” You practically melt against her, relishing in the attention, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? What for?” She questions, confused.

“Haven’t really been spending time with you.” You bite your lip, feeling embarrassed.

“You’ve been focusing on your future. That’s not something i will ever hold against you, sweetheart.” She says gently.

“You’re too good.” You retort just as softly.

“Gotta keep the standards high if i want to keep such a pretty lady.” Van half jokes, though her eyes tell you it’s not a joke at all.

You place a lingering kiss on top of her scar, letting yourself breathe in her scent for what feels like the first time in ages.

“Are you buying me that pizza you promised?” You question smugly.

“Oh, you’re absolutely in for a treat.” She winks, lifting her back off the car to open the door for you before getting into the driver’s seat.

“You’re going to sit on the couch and look pretty while i get us some pizza and get a movie going.” Her hand reaches for your thigh as she drives, settling a warm feeling there.

You hum, "Sounds great, baby."

The ride home is filled with a comfortable silence between the both of you, the only sound being the music playing from the radio and Van's humming that follows it.

It feels like heaven once you finally get to bury in your girlfriends' couch cushions, right after changing into the comfiest clothes you can find - meaning on of Van's old t-shirts and shorts.

You open of your closed eyes at the sound of Van's chuckling. She's standing by the kitchen counter, cutting up the recently arrived warm pizza with her sleeves rolled up.

"Don't mock me." You fake pout.

Though it is reasonable when you look weirdly happy for someone who's laying in a starfish position as if it's the best activity ever.

She lifts her hands in surrender, grin still plastered right on her face. You suddenly feel all tingly.

"What movie are we watching today?" She asks, settling the plate and soda cans down on the coffee table.

"Grease." You lift the tape that was laying on your side.

"Grease?" She lifts her eyebrows in surprise, taking it from your hand anyway so she can get it going.

"What? The soundtrack makes up for it." You assert with a serious face, reaching for a slice to take a way too big bite out of it and seating up.

"Right. I should really learn not to question." She snorts, sitting beside you and throwing an around your shoulder.

You snuggle closer, head pressed against her shoulder as your eyes fixate on the tv playing, trying to ignore the lingering gazes Van throws your way.

It's not even halfway through the movie when the plate is completely empty, cans right atop of it.

You let your attention divert from the screen, sneaking a glance at the redhead by your side and the way her fingers tap against the couch as the song plays in the movie.

Leaning your head, you move to place kisses up her neck. Her arm tightens around you subconsciously, making your lips press into a smile against her jaw.

Her other hand reaches for your thigh, cold rings against your warm skin making you hum in pleasing against her.

"What's gotten into you?" Van mumbles, slipping her fingers from your shoulder to your face and angling it closer to hers.

"Missed you, i've said." You smash your lips hungrily against hers, bringing your hands to the back of her neck and pulling at the hair there.

Van makes a sound against your lips and you take advantage to slip your tongue inside her mouth, lifting your legs so that they're over her lap. Her hand immediately finds the inside of your thigh, squeezing the skin there gently.

"How about you show me just how much you miss me?" She whispers, kissing at the corner of your lips.

"Deal." You climb on her lap, latching your lips back to hers as her hands slide down your back.

You're never spending time away from her again.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #vanessa palmer x reader #van yellowjackets #vanessa palmer #van palmer x reader #van palmer #van palmer x you

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a-simple-imagine · 2 months ago

Text

Mandatory Makeout

Requested by anonymous: "Been NEEDING more van fics I can’t thank you enough for your service heres so random ideas I like:

-group party setting reader gets too drunk van takes care of her

-maybe a little spin the bottle thingy"

Pairing: teen!van palmer x fem!reader

words: 3.5k

A/N - sorry this took forever, i hope you like it anon. also mari is you best friend in this because I miss her

WARNINGS - swearing, underage drinking, homophobia and negative use of the 'd' slur

Deep base echoes off pristine walls in what can only be described as a small mansion. Discarded red solo cups and spilt beer make for a sticky experience navigating the halls. A sea of teenagers. A party. A mandatory party at that. Jackie Taylor, team captain of the Yellowjackets' all-girls soccer team, was very into the idea of team bonding. Sleepovers, dinners, trust falls. Activities meant to bring everyone together and force everyone to bond. So when Lottie casually mentioned having an empty house, Jackie basically harassed her until she agreed to throw a party. It seemed more like she just wanted to party than actually bond, but she told everyone on the team that they had to come. Of course, she did not drag anyone into Lottie's house, but she did playfully suggest that if anyone didn't show up, she would go to Coach Martinez to discuss the starting lineup. You weren't entirely convinced Jackie had that much power, but you also weren't willing to risk losing your spot. So here you were at Lottie Matthew's house, lying on a bed alongside Mari Ibarra. Sharing a bottle of vodka you found half empty and dumped a lot of lemonade into.

"Lottie's house is so fucking big," You have been in awe since stepping inside Lottie's gigantic house. It was like an entirely different world. You had wandered about before finding this room, which, by the decor, seemed like a guest room.

"Her parents must be loaded." Mari comments. You'd been here for a little while now. Shit talking about anything at this point. It was kinda one of the bases of your friendship. "Makes sense why she's such a prissy asshole sometimes."

"Mari," You scold. More a reflection of how much you like Lottie rather than a disagreement. "You should see Jackie's house. I thought that was big until coming here."

"Since when have you been to Jackie's house?" Mari asks, you glance over at her as she takes a big gulp of vodka. Her face scrunching up slightly. It was more lemonade than vodka if you were being real, but she couldn't help her reaction.

"Couple times actually," You comment, reaching over to take the bottle. "Clearly, she likes me more than you."

"Yeah 'cause I don't kiss her ass."

"Sure, that's the reason," A chuckle before you take a swig. While Mari was probably one of your best friends, she also happened to be the biggest shit stirer on the team. And while you find that infinitely amusing, it can rub others the wrong way. Often Jackie.

"Whatever," She huffs. "Like I need the princess's approval."

"Kinda sounds like you want it."

"Fuck off." She spits back. You just laugh, coughing up the liquid tickling your throat.

"Did you hear that Misty has a crush on Coach?" You offer up. A peace offering.

"Martinez?"

"Scott," you confirm.

"Ah, that makes so much sense." As you hand the bottle back towards Mari, it's suddenly snatched from your grip. Jackie Taylor towers over both of you with a less-than-amused expression. "The hell-"

"Come on- up!" With her free hand, she motions for you to get off the bed. "We're playing spin the bottle."

"And what does that have to do with us?" Mari scoffs.

"It's mandatory," Jackie insists. "We're supposed to be hanging out as a team, remember." A loud groan as you push up into a seated position.

"Me and Mari are hanging out, and we're both on the team just like you want."

"We're all gonna have fun together." Jackie continues.

"Mandatory fun isn't actual fun."

"Didn't ask," Jackie comments. "Up. Now."

With a loud sigh, the two of you listen to your faithful leader. Getting up and following behind Jackie, who was already marching through the crowd. "Who shoved a stick up her ass," you slyly comment making Mari giggle.

"Not Jeff, that's for sure", Mari shoots back. A booming laugh slips past your lips that gains the curious gaze of the other. Jackie leads you into the living room. Considering this was apparently compulsory, some of your teammates were nowhere to be seen despite earlier run-ins. Shauna sits next to Jackie's boyfriend, Jeff. Some of the football team make up part of the circle. Van and Tai are sitting together just to the right. Some kids you hardly knew, and Lottie is here too, sipping out of a plastic cup.

"I found them," Jackie announces, crossing the centre of the circle to take her place between Shauna and Jeff. "Now we can start." You glance around before squeezing in beside a guy named Jacob. You've spoken maybe once, but you know he's in your history class and on the football team. Mari sits on the other side. "I'll even go first." Jackie leans forward to grab the bottle sitting just off centre, spinning it harshly. You watch it turn and turn, already fed up with being forced to be here until it lands on someone other than Jeff, and the potential becomes clear. This could be the start of a drama-fuelled night if the subtle crinkle of Jeff's brow was anything to go off. One after the other, each person moves forward and spins the small bottle with varying degrees of intensity. The boys are refusing to actually follow the rules and kiss the first person it lands on. That should have been expected when there were more guys than girls. After what feels like a lifetime and Jacob respinning the bottle three times until it landed on Lottie, and it was finally your turn. With a heavy sigh, you crawl across the floor to retrieve the bottle. Placing it back in the centre before spinning it gently; you did not want to drag this out longer than it needed to be. Your eyes follow the bottle as it goes around and around and around, losing momentum with each turn until it eventually stops. There are immediate cheers from some of the guys. It was pointed right at another girl. Vanessa Palmer.

"Can I spin again?" You ask, although you're already making your way back towards the bottle. A guy you do not know leaps forward to grab it before you can.

"Nope," They declare, sitting back down. You know it's just because they wanna see two girls, and this is the first time it's landed on another girl. But you also know they're gonna enjoy it a little too much, and that's off-putting.

"How is that fair?"

"Follow the rules," He responds.

"None of you guys did," You react, ushering to everyone who had gone before you.

"Just kiss."

"She's probably just scared she'll become a dyke if she kisses one," Childish chuckles. Jackie elbows her boyfriend. You roll your eyes but shuffle across the circle and settle down on your knees in front of Van. You had always liked Van. She was quick-witted and didn't take anything too seriously. She's always down to have a laugh and harmlessly tease. Pale skin decorated with freckles. Firey red hair that you've always found absolutely beautiful. She was cute but less girly than a lot of the others on the team. You've heard what people say about her in the hallways, but it's never seemed to bother her. You like that. But right now, she was doing anything to avoid your gaze. light pink cheeks. She was clearly a little embarrassed.

"Ignore them," You express quietly. "We really don't have to."

"It's okay," She responds. "I would hate to ruin this for you." It makes you chuckle just a little. Unsure if it was playful or intentional. You reach up to grace the curve of her jaw. You don't know what you're expecting, but her skin is so warm and soft. Her eyes flicker to yours briefly before you lean in. It's awkward. The boys are hollering loudly behind you. The twist in your stomach. Your heart beating so loudly in your chest, you're almost certain she could probably hear it. But when she relaxes, you do too, wanting to push further into her but pulling away instead. You search her eyes for any sense of regret as you settle back on your knees, but you're met with warmth. A real moment of connection until...

"Must have loved it- she's bright red." As you come back into the space, you can't help but notice the deep shade of red that has now taken over her face. Everyone is laughing. As harsh as it sounds, you know it's not about you. Nobody cares that you just kissed a girl. They care that the tomboy they think fancies girls kissed a girl. That's funny. Van jumps up and storms away.

"Ahhhh I knew she was a dyke,"

You scramble to your feet. "Van wait-" She doesn't listen. Voice probably drowned out by the sly comments and piercing laughter. A sharp turn. "You guys are fucking assholes." spat out before following the redhead. Lottie's cursed house is far too big to find anyone quickly. You have no clue where she went, but considering she's likely hiding from the crowds, the task feels infinitely more impossible. You barge into rooms with no care for what's happening inside. Eventually, your search leads you out into the night air. Stepping through clouds of smoke and drunk kids, you finally spot her sitting alone on the grass at the very end of the garden. Knees wrapped up in her arms and pulled to her chest. "Hey," said cautiously on approach. You take the lack of response as an invitation to join her rather than the obvious sign that she did not want to talk to you. Van doesn't move an inch. Keeps staring up at the house, bathed in light and loud music. It was much more peaceful down here. Everyone is too far away to acknowledge your existence. "Sorry about all that." You eventually say. "It was really shitty."

"I don't want your pity," Van huffs. You've never seen her like this. So bothered by what people think. She's usually so loud and boisterous. Making jokes at the worst times. But now she seemed quiet. Timid even. You're not sure what to say. You felt bad, but there was no way to make this better. Not really.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to kiss me." You express quietly. "Everyone was just egging me on, that I felt like if I didn't-"

"-You just wanted to protect your reputation." It wasn't like you were the most popular person in school, but you definitely had a decent reputation. Most people liked you. Nobody teased you. You didn't have people whispering about you as you walked by. And so Van was sorta right in saying that the reason you did it was because of external pressure. You didn't want to ruin your social standing.

"it was still shitty," You shrug. "I should have known it'd just make things worse for you."

"It's whatever, I'm used to it," Van responds. Maybe the sly comments really did get to her. Maybe she was just a lot better at hiding it when she didn't have multiple pairs of eyes staring at her.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're not a bad kisser," You comment. "Much better than some of the guys."

"Careful someone hears you say that and they really will think you caught gay cooties from me." You know it's meant to be playful, despite the hint of a bite behind her words.

"We both know that's not how that works." Her gaze flickers towards you. You offer what you hope is a reassuring smile. "Have you ever kissed a girl before?" Van just shrugs. You take it as a no. "I haven't. Not properly, anyway. It felt.... different. Not like how it does with the guys- Not that I'm making out with like half the boys, but you get what I mean, right?"

"...Are you fucking with me?" Van asks. "Did they like send you after me or something?" Your head shakes as you glance up at the house. Thinking of the circle of friends and strangers alike playing some childish game where you spin an empty bottle and kiss someone. They have probably long since moved on.

"I think I have always kinda known I might be... y'know?" You nudge her gently. "And I just- I think you're really cool, Van, so,"

"So?" she wonders.

"Soooo I'd really like to kiss you again if that's okay?" Her attention immediately goes to your surroundings. Maybe still not convinced this wasn't a joke. It makes you chuckle a little. "This isn't some big gotcha moment, Van. I just think I like you is all," That draws her attention back to you. "I won't do anything unless you want to, of course." It would make the most sense for her to deny you. To walk away and forget this conversation even happened. And for a moment, you're just trapped in this endless stare, but apparently poor decisions are made with cheap alcohol because she leans in slowly. Unsure. Waiting for something to happen. Her lips lightly brush against yours, and you take it in stride. Instinctively reaching up, a hand graced the curve of her jaw to pull her closer. Deepening the kiss. Wanting to feel what it's like to really kiss Van Palmer. It's still slow. So much uncertainty, but it's enough to spark your senses, to feel like this is what you wanted. When you pull back, she can't look at you. Her face was taking on that deep shade of red again. "Wow," you express softly.

"Sorry,"

"Don't be," Your voice. "That was... more than expected, but good. Definitely still good."

"So now what?"

"I don't know," You shrug, standing up and brushing yourself off. "Wanna get messy drunk and talk shit about people?" You offer up your hand. A warm smile. She still seems cautious, but she puts on a tiny smile and takes your hand.

"Alright," Van nods.

"Cool. Uh, you find somewhere to chill, I'm gonna go find Mari," You explain. "She'll get annoyed if I gossip without her. I kinda abandoned her back there."

BONUS

+ Slumped across the couch cushions. You feel good. light-headed. Listening to Mari evaluate the outfits of everyone who passes by. You occasionally weigh in with a remark, but the discussion is mainly between her and Van. Van, who's right next to you, and much more comfortable again. You've basically not left her side. Mari says you always do two things when drunk: spill secrets and get clingy. You would never deny it. You lie over the back of the couch, staring up at the ceiling.

"You good?" Natalie walks into view, looking down with a smirk on her lips.

"Oh my god, Nat! Hi!" You react excitedly.

"Had a little too much?"

"Never," Declared loudly. Reaching up to pull her down to your level. "I'm just happy to see you."

"Okay. You wanna let go?"

"You're one of my favourite people on the team, you know- don't tell anyone else!"

"I'll try not to,"

"Especially not Mari- she can be a real bitch about you."

"Hey!-" Her voice rings out, and you sit up properly to look straight ahead at Mari. "Can you like not?"

Nat just giggles. "I won't tell. promise,"

"Okay. Good." You let her go. "Do you wanna sit with us?"

"Nah, I just wanted to make sure you were good."

"Sit with us," you whine.

"No," She pats your hand gently. "I'm gonna leave you in capable hands."

"So you hate me then?"

"She's drunk," Mari huffs. "Just ignore her."

"I can tell," Nat responds.

"She always get like this?" Van questions.

"You must have seen her before?" Nat asks.

"But she's not usually glued to my side."

"Yeah, she's clingy when she gets messy," Mari clarifies. "Your fault for letting her. Just shove her off."

"I wanna go home," You assert, resting your head on Van's shoulder.

"Right now?" Mari wonders. "You can't hold out a little longer?"

"No," You whine softly. "Now!"

"For fucks sake,"

"I can take her?" Van offers.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Van replies. You sigh softly, allowing your eyes to fall closed. "I don't mind," a beat of silence before Mari pipes up again.

"Okay, yeah. If you're cool with it, just make sure she's like safe."

"I got her, don't worry," Van urges. "Do you still wanna go now?" you nod. "Can you get up then?" You lift your head, opening your eyes. Mari has vanished, and you glance at Van. "I'm gonna take you home."

"Yay!" Van chuckles, standing up first before helping you.

"Let's go."

The brisk night is a delightful contrast to your flushed skin as you stumble down the street. Van has her hand in yours, mostly dragging you but also supporting each step. You remember leaving the party, however, you're not sure exactly where you are now. The roads are tranquil, and the air is still. The moon illuminates the world in its ghostly glow. This was not the way to your house. You don't recognise anything, and as she brings you up to an unfamiliar door, your brow wrinkles.

"This is not my house."

"I asked where you live, and you just told me you were lost. This is my house."

"Oh," You do not recall that. "I'm staying at your house?"

"You're gonna have to," Van states. "Once I open the door, I need you to be really, really quiet, though, okay?"

"Okay," You nod, positioning a finger over your lips and making a shush sound.

"Shhhh," She mimics your motion. The door breaks open to darkness. Van doesn't give you a moment; she's already dragging you quickly through her space and straight into an unknown room. Light attacks the room, making you flinch, squinting in the brightness as the door clicks closed. It takes a beat before you adjust. Movie posters line the walls. VHS Tapes and cassettes litter the floor. You take a seat on the bed before collapsing backwards. Your body relaxes. Easily invited by the plush fabric into the world of the unconscious. You thrash a little against the covers. "I'll be right back, okay? Just stay here," You don't respond, rolling onto your side to face the wall. It doesn't take long for your body to feel overwhelmed by the warmth of being inside. The comfy duvet is doing nothing to help. Shuffling frantically against the bed. You just feel too hot and bothered. An overwhelming need to rid yourself of your top layer. You kick off your shoes before taking off your clothes, leaving you in just your underwear and a sense of relief at the air hitting bare skin. You settle down against the bed again, nuzzling into the duvet as the door opens again. "What the hell?"

"Too hot," you groan.

"Jesus Christ, uh..." you can hear her fumbling around the room. "Here," something is tossed on top of you and with a whine, your eyes open to clothing.

"No," you huff.

"I need you to put on some clothes, okay? Just shorts and a t-shirt, it won't make you too hot. I promise." Van urges, "Sit up for me." You ignore her instructions, a groan leaving your lips instead. You were tired. You just wanted to sleep. Van sighs softly, grabbing your legs and manoeuvring you so your legs fall over the edge of the bed. Peaking out from behind heavy eyelids, Van is crouched down before you. "Lift your leg," She taps your ankle a few times until you do as instructed, and then the same with the other. Pulling the shorts up over your skin. "I really need you to sit up. Just for a minute, please?" This time you listen, forcing the heavy weight of your torso upwards "Thank you."

"Van," uttered calmly. "Yeah?" She rises to her feet, reaching for the crumpled t-shirt on the bed.

"Can you look at me," Her motion slows as she stands before you. Your eyes search her face, taking in every freckle. The roundness of her cheeks that were dusted pink. It makes you smile.

"Your face is red again," you declare, with a little chuckle. She really wasn't able to hide the emotions on her face very well.

"I bet- can you lift your arms up?" They both shoot up into the air

"Van," You repeat, as she works your arms through the holes in her shirt.

"Yeah, bud?"

"You have really pretty eyes." Her movement stops for a wink before she resumes pulling the shirt over your head. You can't help but notice it smells like her.

"All done,"

"Yay!" you smile, looking down at yourself. "Can I sleep now?"

"Sure," you instantly plonk back down.

"I'm just gonna be on the floor," She explains, walking away from you. "If you need anything."

"No, in the bed," you reach your arms out. "Sleep with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea." The light goes out, plunging the room into darkness.

"Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan," you whimper, getting louder with each letter. You hear her heavy footsteps as she scrambles to join you.

"Fine-okay, just be quiet. Please." Van demands. She lies down, and you roll into her, wrapping an arm around her. Nuzzling against her. Finding comfort in another presence. You hear her say something, but it's just a mumble as you fade into slumber.

#van palmer #van palmer x reader #van palmer x you #yellowjackets #yellowjackets fanfic #liv hewson

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femmenature · 2 months ago

Text

You drew stars around my scars

The creator of this content does not speak English, constructive criticism on grammar is welcome😭

I know Liv identifies as non-binary and uses They/them as pronouns, but I used she/her just because of Vanessa's character!

Pairing: Teen Van Palmer/Vanessa Palmer x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Your girlfriend hasn't spoken to you since the wolves left scars on her face, and you can't ignore the sudden distancing.

Warning: Insecurity, bad words.

A few days have passed since the wolves bit Van. It was noticeable how distant she was from you. You understood, but on the other hand, you felt guilty for wanting to question her. How could she possibly think you'd judge her? How could she possibly think I'd be disgusted by seeing her face? It hurt you to feel that she had that perspective on you.

The secret relationship between you and Vanessa started before the accident. You were one of the defenders in soccer. It created a short distance between you and your team's goal. In other words, very little distance between you and Van. The chats at practice and the whispers in the locker room turned into make-out sessions and love confessions. Everything was perfect until the crash, and let's just say we managed to stay together. But this really messed things up. She won't talk to me, she won't look at me, she won't touch me, and she even does whatever it takes to push me away. And it sickens me, sickens me that I can't be by her side knowing what she's going through. So I took advantage of the moment when she went to look for dry branches for the campfire and cautiously followed her.

"Are you planning on ignoring me any longer?" Her shoulders lifted at your sudden voice, but she still didn't turn around. "I haven't even heard your voice in days, Vanessa" She cleared her throat as she continued collecting the sticks from the floor. "You don't understand," she said shakily, trying to get used to her voice again, as if she'd kept it hidden in the darkest part of her. "Why do you think I don't understand?" Your face clouded with confusion.

"I don't know, things like this. This damn interrogation." She stops herself, trying to take back what she said "I'm sorry. I know I'm not reacting well. I just need to be alone."

"Stop doing that, stop pushing me away, because I'm not going to do it." You approach her, facing her back. Every step toward her feels like a step closer to the abyss. "You don't know what I'm like right now, you don't know what I'm saving you from," you furrow your eyebrows, even though she can't see you. Your hand reaches for her shoulder, not with the intention of turning her around. Simply so she knows you're there, respecting her time. "What are you talking about? Do you really think I'd react like this because of your scars, imagining what I was saved from now that my girlfriend was bitten by wolves?" You blurt out the words that had been stuck in your throat for so long. "Do you even know me at all? I need you to listen to yourself."

Her face turns away from where you placed your hand, still trying to avoid you. "I don't think badly of you. I just don't want you to be with me out of obligation." A sigh of frustration escapes you at the sound of her voice. "If you think I'd do that, you really don't know me."

Her body abruptly turns, facing you, allowing you to finally see her face. "Look at me. Look at me and tell me I don't disgust and repel you. That you could caress me the way you did before I had this." Her hands scribble, trying to point out her scars. Even the slightest reference to them repels her.

"You survived a damn wolf attack. What you have on your face are the marks of survival. Do you want me to tell you what would have been devastating for me? That you don't come back." Her eyes meet yours, hungry for the tiniest hint of contact. "So don't put words in my mouth I'd never say. Because having you here with me is more than I could have ever wished for, and more."

Her eyes glaze over and her breathing evens out, leaving behind the air that was squeezing her lungs. "Doesn't it disgust you? Doesn't it make your stomach feel sick, like you're going to throw up?"

"The only thing I feel in my stomach when I see you are butterflies," she rolls her eyes, though you managed to see a small smile escaping her lips. "Van, your beauty is eternal to me. The thing I feel when I see your scars is pride and gratitude that you're still here." One of her hands dared to move away from her body to stop contemplating yours from afar and do something about it. Brushing your hip, with the absurd fear that you'll reject her even though she's heard you say the opposite, her mind betrays her. "I don't deserve you," she whispered to you while her thumb caressed you.

"You fought with fucking wolves. I don't think anyone really deserves you. And I think it's important to emphasize that you look way too hot with them." She lets out a chaste laugh, not believing you. "You're just saying that." Your hand approaches her cheek, delicately caressing her sensitive marks. "I'm not lying. It's a constant reminder of how brave you are. And you know very well that I admire that about you."

After staring at each other for a while, you pull her into a hug, wrapping your arms around her neck as she rests her face in the crook of your neck. "Thank you. Thank you for staying even though I tried to push you away. I don't know what I would have done without you. You always know just the right thing to say, at the right time, in the right way. I love that about you." Her voice is low as she clings to your body "I love you."

Your head moves away from hers, forcing her to look at you. With a smile, you stroke her hair as you respond with the same feeling you always had. "I love you, Van. Nothing could change that."

Unable and unwilling to prolong the moment any longer, their lips found each other as they had before.

Again, sorry if there is any mistake, it's late here and for some reason I write when I'm sleepy. 😫

#van palmer #vanessa palmer #teen van palmer x reader #van palmer x fem reader #van palmer x reader #yellowjackets x you #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #van palmer x you #vanessa palmer x you #queer #lesbian

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xetlynn · 3 months ago

Text

Scars and Faint Memories

Vanessa Palmer x Fem! Reader

chapter one<- -> chapter two-> chapter three

•••The plane as crashed, and as the teens fight to get out, they then have to quickly fight to aid one another. Their only sense of comfort being Misty Quigley, the fact that Coach Scott is partially alive and [Name] with her levelheaded realness.

warnings: descriptions of injuries ig

1996

Screams erupt all around you, raw and terrified. You let out small whimpers as you watch everything around you.

The demonic roar of the engine failing echoing and shouting in your head. Not letting you ignore it. You feel someone grab your other hand and your wide eyes look to see Taissa who has tears streaming down her face.

And as the plane finally makes its impact with the ground your hands somehow let go of the two girls. Natalie and you are buried in carry-ons and equipment from the overhead bins. Holding weight down on the both of you.

You attempt at getting your seatbelt off first. Trying to drown out your best friend’s cries as you struggle.

“Here, here!” Taissa shoves off some of the mess on you, making it easier for you. “Thank you- thank you.” You choke out, the adrenaline in your body going rampant. Unclipping the belt before getting up, the girl who helped you has already moved away to help with the door. “I’m stuck- [Name]!” Natalie sobs and you shush her.

“I’m here, I’m getting you out!” You tell her, grabbing the bigger things and throwing them in any direction. “I can’t get my, my leg!” She grunts and you look to see the heavier equipment in between her leg and the chair in front of her.

“I got it, I got it!” You mutter, pulling with all your might and finally getting it out.

Natalie shoots up after unhooking her belt and you move out of the way. “Go, go, go!” You scream, pushing her towards the door and doing the same with a few other girls.

“C’mon, c’mon!” You have them run before you, you look behind you to see Vanessa yelling and crying for help, fire bursting behind her.

“Help! HELP!” She weeps, and you run over to her. Jumping over the stuff in the aisle. “Shit- I gotchu! Fuck it’s the seatbelt?” You furrow your brows, not knowing what to do to get it unjammed. Van cries, wriggling to get out.

“Please, please don’t leave me!” She says and you look up at her, scared. “I won’t, I promise!” You crouch down, the fire getting closer. Making it extremely hard to focus with the heat.

Another body comes and you look up to see Shauna. “It’s her seatbelt!” You inform her, and Shauna pushes you back to try but she can’t get it either.

Jackie comes over and grabs Shauna, trying to do the same with you but you shrug her off. “We can’t leave her!” Shauna disagrees. “We have to get out now!” Jackie says.

“I’m not leaving her!” You argue, crouching back down, looking around for something sharp or anything. Van cries harder, trying to wriggle around again.

You don’t even pay attention to Jackie wrestling Shauna away from the situation. Getting out of the plane.

“Stop moving real quick!” You tell the redhead who whimpers but does as told.

You finally get the belt unjammed, unclipping it and you take hold of her hand, running as fast as you can away from the fire.

To the other end, luckily right before a burst of flames come towards you both. “Shit, c’mere!” You pull her into seats to be protected from the heat.

You hold onto her, to protect her from any more burns. Earning hairs on your arm being singed off, hurting like a bitch.

Tiredly you sit there for a moment, still not letting go of the redhead but leaning back in the chair as the fire has calmed down a bit. Not being near you at least.

Your head falling against the cushion. “Holy shit.” You murmur to yourself, your body ached as the adrenaline was beginning to fade away. “You- you didn’t leave me…” Van pants and you huff. “I promised.” You remind her, she looks up at you and smiles. “We almost died.”

“Yeah.” You breathe out a laugh. “Let’s get out of here.” You stand up, her doing the same thing, leading you guys out. Not even paying attention to the fact that you were both still holding hands.

Getting out you hear screaming by Coach Ben and you follow it. Injured girls surround the area, also hearing Javi shouting for his dad. You had forgotten that Javi and Travis came on this trip with their father- your guys’ coach.

“There was nothing we could do-” You come across Jackie trying to put her arm around Shauna but she twists away, uncomfortable.

“Jesus… Coach.” You glance around them, still not announcing you or Van still being alive. But seeing Coach on the ground with a crushed leg.

Van rushes you in front of everyone. “Surprise.” She boredly announces the both of you and you awkwardly stand there. It was intense and shocking to Jackie. Before the three of you can get into it, Taissa launches at the both of you. Putting you both in a relieved bear hug.

“Thank god! I couldn’t find either of you! Scared the shit out of me.” She pulls back and you purse out your lips. “Sorry.” You mumble. “My seatbelt was jammed.” Vanessa explains.

“You’re both okay though?” She checks both of our faces and you subconsciously hide your arm that was burning excruciatingly. And luckily for you something else caught their attention before they could even notice.

A loud thwack! Emits from where Coach Ben is lying. You guys turn around to see Misty with an axe. You forcibly make Van face the other way so she can’t even process what just happened. “What? The? Fuck!?” Natalie loudly exclaims as the curly blonde unbuckles her belt and kneels down. You watch in terror.

Misty creates a tourniquet, looping it around Coach’s thigh and tightly pulling it. “Help me move him.” Misty orders.

“What just happened?” Van’s eyes pool with tears. “C’mon let’s move away from here.” You ignore her.

“What the fuck happened!?” She asks again and you shake your head, Taissa was right behind you guys, almost stumbling from what everyone had just witnessed.

“Misty did the right thing.” You say simply, sitting the two down.

“I’m going to help her out. Take a breather. Taissa stay with Van. She’s squeamish with this stuff.” You tell her and she nods up at you. Standing over her friend as you run off.

2021

“I never understood what happened between you and Taissa.” Shauna speaks up from the silence and you curtly hum. “Not much to understand.” You adjust yourself so you're resting against the door of the van. Fixing the seat belt so it’s not digging in your skin. “One of those things you refuse to talk about?” Shauna sighs.

“I’m surprised you don’t know what it is.” You shrug. “She seemed to have a big mouth at the time.” You roll your eyes in irritation thinking back to yours and Taissa’s big blowout argument years ago.

“Must’ve said something horrible then.” Shauna pulls into your driveway and you see a familiar car parked beside yours. Making you squint slightly.

“That car wasn’t there before?” She points out and you look over at her then back at the car. “It’s my sister?” Unbuckling the belt but almost pre-cautiously. “Your sister? I thought she was down in Florida?”

“Yeah I thought so too.” You open the door. “See you later, call me in the morning.” You tell her and she nods her head. Observing the car ahead. “Will do, goodnight!”

“Goodnight.” You shut the door and hurry to your front door, getting out your keys to unlock it.

Opening the door slowly, knowing that the car besides yours is definitely not your little sisters. “Natalie?” You call out, taking off your shoes and there she is. Sitting on your kitchen counter eating an apple. “The fuck?” You drop what's in your hands to rush over to her. She laughs, standing up.

“I was wondering why you weren’t home.” She exclaims as you pull her into a hug.

“Oh you know, Shauna and Taissa.” You roll your eyes, pushing off of her to look at her face.

“Taissa?” She raises her brows causing you to laugh. “Yeah, I wasn't told until we were at the diner.” You scoff, grabbing her apple and taking a bite of it.

“They let you out of rehab?” You ask, leaning against your counter and she gives you a look. “No, I snuck out.” She sarcastically replies and you playfully push her. “You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know. I got out earlier today. I still gotta do something tonight though. Think someone’s blackmailing me. Only person I can think of is that crazy ass bitch.” She takes back the apple from your hand, finishing it off. You tilt your head to the side. “Misty?” You raise a brow.

“Who else?” She grabs her purse and begins to walk to your front door. You follow behind her. “Want me to come with?” You ask, kind of hopeful since the two of you rarely see each other anymore. “Nah, I got some things to do that I don’t want you involved in.” She shakes her head, your face drops without realizing and she gives you a sad smile back.

“Trust me, when I’m done you and I need to spend some time with one another.” She grabs your hand to give it a small squeeze. “You’re my number one.” She reminds you and you smile. “If you need a place to stay, don’t hesitate to call me Nat.” You point a finger in her face.

“You know I will.” She says before leaving you, shutting the door as you stand there. As quick as she was there she was gone. That’s usually how it goes with Natalie and you never minded it.

Everyone coped differently after the crash. You don’t feel like going back to that headspace though.

1996

“Hey, [Name]...” A voice quietly speaks from behind you, you turn around as you were helping Mari with her burn on her thigh. Using the sleeve of your sweat to hide your own. “Yes?” You peer up at her, crouched down. “Can you help with something?” She asks nervously, her fingers fidgeting with each other.

Her demeanor is different than before. She’s been giving out orders to everyone and with you, at this moment it seems like she can barely even say hi. “Give me a second, I’ll be right with you.” You nod your head firmly and she quietly thanks you before heading back over to Coach Ben. “You okay, Mari?” You stop pouring the water, closing it before putting it beside her. She shrugs her shoulders. You knew it was a redundant question but still.

You knew everyone was scared, worried about what was going to happen to everyone. “I’m okay, it’s uncomfortable.” She answers, wincing when she moves her leg a little bit. “Understandable. Make sure it’s about to breathe, better than getting constantly covered. I’ll see if I can find my bag. I keep a little first aid kit.” You pat her good leg as you stand up. Heading over to Misty.

“Like this. Got it?” Misty looks up at the two girls behind her after she had just torn a long strip from a t-shirt. Taissa and Natalie nod, and the little blonde hands the shirt over to Tai. “As many as you can. And fast. We’re gonna need to change the bandages soon. And then hourly after that.” She directs. “If he even lives that long.” Natalie comments and you come over, slightly nudging her with a shake of your head.

“Don’t say that.” Misty sharply replies, both you and Natalie blink at her. The poor girl has taken control, barking orders to everyone to keep them busy as she’s still in shock. Everyone else is but they’re all different.

“Just… keep ripping those up, okay?” She moves on, standing up and smacking her hands together to get the dirt off.

“Alright, [Name]. Can you come with me?” She motions and you hum, stepping behind her.

“Do you think you can get a few others to gather wood for a fire?” She crosses her arms and you give a confused expression. “I- I mean I know I can, but I just… I want help. Giving orders.” She explains slowly and you glance around at the other girls as you think.

“I’m worried about Coach Ben and I would just appreciate not having to focus on telling everyone what to do.” She says.

“I got you Misty, don’t worry. I’ll get some of the girls to gather wood and I’m going to get others to help me look around the plane for our things.” You tell her, hands on your hips as you let out a breath.

“Thank you.” Her deep brown eyes look deeply in yours and you stick a hand out. “We’re a team.” You remind her and she gapes down at your hand before beaming. Taking your hand roughly.

“Right.”

“Alright,” You clap your hands as you stand in the middle of where everyone is. “We need to get moving. It looks like we’re going to be here for the night so we need to build a fire.” You loudly explain for everyone to hear.

“Akilah, Mari, Van and Melissa. Can you go look for sticks? Branches. Anything for the fire. Make sure they’re dry, not too new. Wet wood is difficult to catch fire.” You point to the four, they get up from their spots. Mari limping a little. “Yeah.” “got it.” The four agree, heading off to do as told.

“Okay anyone who can walk or feels comfortable enough we need to search around for our bags. Get them all together. I see a few already did but somebody might have something to help.” You tell them, already making your way toward the plane that was just on fire. A hand reaches out for your wrist. Stopping you.

“Are you sure you can go in there?” It was Jackie and you furrow your brows. “Yeah, if no one else will, someone has to.” You say simply, pulling your arm to your side. “I mean, I’ll come with.” She grabs onto your arm once again, walking in the plane with you that’s still warm by the fire that was once there. Some things are still slightly caught on fire or extremely hot.

You walk to the back of the plane where Van was sitting, where the both of you had almost died together not even hours ago. You try to see if there’s anything of hers you can scavenge. You know her bag was near Taissa’s but her backpack is what you’re searching for.

“Hey, when I… left Van earlier and stuff. It wasn’t personal or like-” “I know.” You cut her off as she was picking up her and Shauna’s bags. “I was scared, I didn’t know what to do…”

“I understand, Jackie.” You tell her earnestly as you find Van’s bag extremely burnt. “I thought you both died.” She mutters but it was loud enough for you to hear. “Well, we’re alive.” You smile over at her and she rolls her eyes.

“Taissa thought you guys were dead too, she screamed for you guys. Did you not hear her?” She asks, moving to another area to pick up a few more backpacks.

“No, I can’t speak for Van but I know I couldn’t focus on anything other than getting away from the flames. All I heard was Van crying, really.” You try to think back but the only thing that echoed in your head were her sobs. The crackling of the fire. The smell of plastic burning. Your arm.

“Oh…” Was all Jackie could muster out. The guilt got to her, In the same breath she went back and forth. She was protecting her best friend. Protecting her from becoming a dead body. Even if it meant leaving another person behind.

You moved around, picking up bags. Luckily even finding your own. “C’mon, I’m sure others found our suitcases. We can come back for more later.” You pat your friend's side as you walk past her.

“Right behind you.” Jackie murmurs, the two of you coming out and placing the bags down. You open your bag and grab the first aid kit you knew you had. “Mari, I have some burn cream!” You call out as she was walking with a bunch of sticks in her arms. “Sick!” She grins, dropping the wood in a pile. Sprinting over to you.

“I’ll put it on you. Don’t want to use too much…” You crouch down, eye level with her burn on her thigh. “Thank you, this is a life saver.” She says and you wave as if it’s nothing. You open the tube but then look down at your dirty fingers. “Hold on.” You stand back up, grabbing a water bottle and rinsing off your pointer finger.

The others watch as you go back to the brunette, their eyes fixated on you specifically.

“Hopefully it heals fast.” You comment as you put the cream on your finger, crouching back down and then gently smooth it over the burn.

Mari winces, almost letting out a small groan at the feeling. “I’m sorry.” You scrunch your nose, putting a little more on the burn before looking up at her. “All done.” You rub your finger on your jeans, putting the tub in your pocket. Noting to remember to put it on your own arm later.

“Bleeding’s slowing down. But we need to disinfect it somehow. Maybe something from the bar cart?” Misty speaks. “There wasn’t one. I mean, it was just soda. It cost less that way.” Lottie sheepishly says. “Seriously?” Taissa scoffs.

“Rich people are fucking cheap.” The girl responds in defense. “Maybe somebody brought some contraband…” Laura Lee mentions and everyone, even you turns to Natalie who had just walked up with Taissa with fresh bandages for Coach. “Um, okay. Wow.” Natalie huffs and you try not to smile. “Well, did you?” Misty quizzes.

“Yeah, obviously. But I stashed it in my bag, and [Name] didn’t find it somehow.” She frowns. “You guys. What about this?” Van says from behind, picking up a bottle of Seabreeze Toner.

“Hey. That’s-” Jackie catches herself, pressing her lips together. “A good idea, Van.”

You watch Van give her a dark look, handing the bottle to the captain of the soccer team. Jackie looks over at you as she cringes and you give an apologetic look before following after the redhead.

“Hey, where you going?” You question as you catch up to the girl who sighs loudly. “Sorry, I’m just feeling a type of way towards Jackie…” She grumbles, plopping down on the ground in front of all the bags. You stand over her. “I mean, you have every right to feel that way. But she was scared.” You’re not necessarily defending Jackie’s actions but you do see why she did what she did.

“I was scared! I was terrified.” Van snaps, refusing to look up at you and you place a hand on her shoulder. “It was scary Van, you could have died. Everything you feel- the anger, all of it. Is valid. I promise.” You sit down with her. “Why don’t you feel any anger? Aren’t you scared? You seem so… weirdly calm?” She questions, finally glancing at you.

You suck in a breath. “I am scared.” You say. “Terrified.” You stare off at the plane that sat there. When you guys should be in Seattle. When you should be getting off that plane and going to a hotel. Is anyone looking for you guys? Is the airport tracking you guys down?

How long will you guys be in these woods for?

2021

You lay in bed wearing a red lace lingerie set. Your eyebrows furrowed as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Checking yourself out. You take your phone from the bed to take pictures of yourself, trying to pose in good angles. Normally you’d never do this- wear fancy lingerie. Well maybe years ago. But now?

Never.

You practically swore to celibacy after being single for so long. The occasional hookups but you never felt it was worth it to dress up for someone you were only using for your own gratification. But here you are. Buying and wearing underwear for a hookup you’re supposed to see tonight.

You finally take a picture you like, staring at your screen with a smile. But as you stare at it longer you begin to see how prominent your scars appear in the photo. Your eyes bouncing from each scar. From the one that goes down your thigh. The rather large burn scar that’s on your left arm. And then the one that goes from the middle of your stomach to your side. Looking deep and ugly.

“Shit…” You sit down on your bed. She’ll see it anyway in person, you tell yourself. What does it matter that it’s in the picture? You subconsciously find yourself rubbing your thigh. Feeling the bumps of the scar.

You huff, going to your texts and just sending the picture with a small message about how excited you were for the night since she should be on her way to your house in thirty minutes. In reality this felt like nothing new. Nothing special. Just sex with a rando.

There were a few times with your hookups that it would happen a few more times. Nothing more than two weeks. If you sensed them getting too attached you cut it off. It’s not that it was them. You were sure if you were more emotionally mature you’d feel the same but instead you cut that from your life. The option of having a life filled with love. You gave up on that a while ago.

Your phone dings, pushing your negative thoughts away.

It was your hookup, Kania. Flirting with the normal disgusting dirty talk you have before sex. You grab your robe, throwing it on and heading to your living room to turn on the music. Along with setting the candles up. Wine on the coffee table.

As you’re getting everything ready you place your phone on the coffee table face down. Trying to make sure you have everything for the night. A knock sounds at your door and you go to answer it. Fixing your hair along with making sure the robe is tightly on. No chance of falling open… just yet.

Opening the door with a smile. The girl stands before you, just as superficially pretty as she is on her dating page. “C’mon in.” You move out of the way allowing her in. “Nice place, very cosy.” She looks around and you nod, quietly thanking her. “Is that Roxette?’ The girl suddenly questions and you gasp with wide eyes.

“You’re into her?” You were hopeful but then when you look at her face she seems to be quite the opposite with Roxette. “Mm, I mean my mom was super into her… You have anything newer?” She tilts her head and your shoulders drop. Way to make you feel old.

“Yeah, I have like… Arctic Monkeys?” You look through your cd’s. Shauna’s daughter Callie would come over with her sometimes and gifted you the cd’s telling you that you have to keep up with the music times.

“Oh they’re good, put them on.” The girl plops down on your couch while observing your home. You press your lips together in annoyance as you change out the cd. And as the girl behind you is looking around her eyes stop at the pictures on your wall. Pictures of you and a redhead. You guys kissing, pictures on the beach together. Out on dates.

“Uh, so… how long have you been doing these hookups?”

You turn to her with a confused expression. Chatting before sex? Not unusual but not your favorite start. “Couple years, I don’t do relationships.” You say, stepping over to her, you follow her eyes over to your wall and you let out a deep sigh. “She’s dead. I promise I’m not in a relationship.” You place a hand over your heart and the girl’s mouth goes into an ‘o’ shape. “Yeah…” You were lying but she doesn’t have to know the real reason why you keep photos up of your ex girlfriend. “Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, c’mon stop with the chit chat. That’s not why you came over here, is it?” You smirk, picking up a glass of wine and offering it over to her. She nods her head, taking the glass which gives you some sort of relief. You had no interest in some stranger digging in your past. “Right.” You pick up your own glass, taking a rather large drink of it.

Setting it back down as she sips on it, seemingly nervous. You untie your robe. No exchanging words, you were antsy and ready. You didn’t want to wait any more. Kania almost chokes on her dry drink, placing it down immediately at the sight of your chest and the way it’s encased with the red lace.

You snicker at her reaction, pulling her into a kiss. Holding her face with both your hands as you deepen it.

Your mouths moving together in sync, you hear her little moans underneath you as you get onto your knees on the cushion. Not even unlocking from her. Kania’s hands finding your waist and pulling you into her lap.

Making you straddle her.

Grinding your hips down to get some sort of friction. Getting excited as this was leading to what you’ve been needing.

And as it was getting to the good part you hear your phone buzz on the glass. The sound wasn’t on luckily so you decided to ignore it. Continuing to make out with the pretty woman.

But as it doesn’t stop for the next two minutes, Kania decides to pull away from the kiss. “You should probably get that.” She chuckles and you groan, throwing your head back. “Yeah… probably.” You stand up, snatching the phone up and answering the phone without looking at who it is.

“Hello?” You crossed your arms, feeling your own skin underneath the laced bra, holding yourself with the one arm. “[Name], it’s Misty. Can you meet us at the bar near my house?” She spoke and you furrowed your brows. “Misty? How the fuck did you get my number?”

“I’m with Natalie, say hi Nat.” You hear the phone get passed and you hear a small “heyy” from your best friend. Your face drops. “Why the fuck am I meeting you?” You put your weight onto one leg as you ask. “It’s important, I promise. Just meet us. Do you remember where my house is?”

“I know what bar it is. The Dive Bar. I’ll be on my way just give me a second.” You sigh, hanging up the phone without saying goodbye. You look at Kania. “I have to go. Sorry to cut this short.” You head to your bedroom. Roughly taking off the robe. “Want me to wait here until you get back?” She asks, following after you.

Watching as you throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. “No, I’m sorry but just go home. I’ll call you whenever I’m free.” You tell her shortly. Going back to the livingroom to blow out all the candles. “Um… alright. I’ll make sure my ringer is on then.” She jokes and you give a polite smile as you grab your keys and wallet.

“Bye, Kania.” You open the door for her. “See ya.” She exits and you let out a breath. Wanting to punch something. The one night you want to fuck someone. The one night within months.

Entering the bar you’re automatically embraced by the blonde girl. “[Name]! It’s been a while.” She exclaims and you give her a tight-lipped smile. “Yup.” You let her drag you to the bar counter. “Oh you got us drinks!” Misty happily points out to Natalie, sitting down beside her as you sit on the other side. Natalie pushes one cup toward you then picks up the whiskey and slugs it. Chasing it with the beer.

“I can’t believe I’ve never been in here before. It’s so… edgy!” Misty quickly moves on and you take the whiskey you were given like a shot. Downing it quickly. “So why am I here?” You fold your arms, smacking the glass down on the counter. “Someone’s messing with us.” Natalie says, showing the card that has the symbol on it.

Your heart drops seeing it.

“Did you not get one?” Misty asks and you shake your head. “No.”

“What have you got?” Natalie eyes a manilla file folder in Misty’s tote bag. The blonde pulls out her file, setting it on the bar with a proud manner. “Well. If I’ve learned one thing in the citizen detective community…”

“The… what?” Natalie glances over to you who shrugs with a small amused look. Motioning to the bartender to get you another whiskey. He nods his head, grabbing your glass to replace it.

“Citizen Detective. We’re like private investigators, except nobody hired us or asked for our help. We work together online to solve cold cases. You know, disappearances, murders. It’s super fun.” She explains and you lick your lips. Hoping this night won’t be too much longer.

The bartender gives you your drink and you thank him. This time not downing it like the one before. “Anywho! There are really only two questions that matter in any case: who and why. If you get one, you can usually figure out the other. So I’ve been asking myself, "What does the person who sent those cards want?”

“To scare us? To mess with our heads? To remind us of-” She pauses before speaking in a lower voice. “What happened out there? It’s obviously a threat.” Natalie reaches out, taking Misty’s file folder.

You get up, going over to Nat’s side to also look at what’s in the folder. Various articles and magazine covers of the Yellowjackets about your disappearance, the rescue and then random press. Shauna and Jeff's local wedding announcement. Callie’s birth certificate. Taissa’s campaign flyer for state senate. A brochure for Natalie’s rehab clinic, a business card for [Name]’s job. Then another business card. For Jessica Roberts.

“Who’s Jessica Roberts?” Natalie asks and you scoff out a laugh. “That bitch.” You murmur.

“That depends on who you ask. She claims to be a reporter, but as far as I can tell that’s a lie. She’s been sniffing around. Claims to be peddling a book deal. But-”

“How could she know about… you know…” Natalie cuts her off and you also look to the blonde for answers. “Maybe someone talked.” Misty shrugs.

Natalie picks up Taissa’s campaign flyer. “You didn’t start collecting this stuff a week ago. You’ve been keeping tabs on us. Why?” With this question Misty blushes, looking at the both of you with a sudden vulnerability. “You guys are the most important people in my life.”

It's a weird sentiment, one that you can’t help but stare at her for admitting. Natalie then spots something else in the file. Seeing a photocopy of a man’s new hampshire drivers license. You then turn to see her face grow pale. “You found Travis?” She asks and you let out a small gasp at the sight of the man.

“Oh, yeah. Talk about somebody who didn’t want to be found.” Misty widens her eyes, grabbing your whiskey and taking a sip of it without asking. You rub your best friends back, not knowing what else to do.

“Here you go, ladies.” The bartender sets three glasses down on the table. “From the gentleman in the back. Three shots of and I quote, “the cheapest shit you got.” Says it’s your drink of choice.” He makes eye contact with Natalie who could care less. But Misty and you look over with delight to see a man approaching the three of you.

He doesn’t take his eyes off Natalie, you awkwardly stand there. Knowing exactly who he is. Finally Natalie looks up after you nudge her a couple of times.

“Hi.” Kevyn speaks. “Hi,” Natalie repeats.

“Wow. It really is you…” He breathes out. “Hi!” Misty beams and he turns, just realizing that she’s there. “Hey, I’m-”

“Kevyn. It’s Misty. Misty Quigley from third period Spanish.”

“Misty, right. Of course.” He cut her sentence short, obviously only wanting to speak with Natalie. He gives you a small wave and you let out a laugh. “Man, Natalie Scatorccio. I really wish I had a killer line right now. In fairness, I’ve only had, you know, twenty years to come up with one…” He babbles on.

“It’s good to see you.” Natalie says. “Yeah, yeah, you too.” He then looks between the three of you. “Sorry, is this a bad time? I feel like you’re in the middle of something…”

She gives him a tight smile. “Right. Got it. Well… I don’t know how long you’re in town for. But just in case, I’m gonna leave this. Somehow I don’t think you’re gonna use it, but if you maybe wanna maybe get a drink another twenty years from now, you’ll know how to reach me.” He takes out a business card from his wallet. And you observe the emotions that stew off from his face, the embarrassment and longing for Natalie. Setting the card down without saying anything else. Not even looking back.

“Holy shit.” You laugh and Natalie hits your stomach. “Dang. If somebody had told me goth freak Kevyn Tan would grow up like that…” She trails off. “Didn’t you three used to be friends?”

“Yeah.” The two of you say.

Natalie slams down her shot then turns her attention back to the license. Supposedly a John Garcia. “Are you sure this is him? Travis?”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea, Nat…” You say and she shushes you as Misty nods. “Is this a cell or a landline?”

She shrugs, not knowing. Natalie folds the sheet of paper. “Natalie, please. Don’t do something stupid.” You tell her as she stands up but completely ignores your words as she walks out.

You peer over to Misty who pockets Kevyn’s business card, slipping it into her purse. You down your shot along with the rest of the whiskey. “I came here for her to leave.” You glare at the counter. “I left my hookup. For this.” You mutter. Misty looks over at you with curious eyes. “You had a hookup?”

1996

You had sent Lottie, Van and Lauri Lee to go see if they can find bags or anything else in the woods. Not far but see what fell from the plane during the crash. Giving them something to do.

“Javi! Stop!” You hear Taissa shout as you are sitting with Nat and Akilah. You look where everyone else was to see Javi attempting to go into the opening of the plane. Towards the still smoking fuselage. Javi turns back, startled, almost losing his balance but resumes on what he’s doing.

“Dad! DAD!” He screams and you shoot up, heading to the kid as Taissa tells Natalie to go find Travis.

“Javi, that’s not safe bud. Please get out of there.” You follow after him, Taissa right behind you. “I have to find him.” He musters out, not even giving you the time of day. “I know, I know but he’s not in here. I promise.” You place a hand on his shoulder. “Well where would he be?” His voice cracks, breaking your heart.

You frown, wishing you could give him the answers. “I don’t know, bud.” You mumble, Taissa stays silent, her eyes on the ground. “Why is nobody else worried about him?” Tears fall from his face and you glance back to Tai who seems panicked. Not knowing how to help. “We are, there’s a lot happening Javi.” You breathe out.

“Here, let’s get out of this hot ass plane. I will go help you look for him. But once it starts getting dark- we have to come back here.” You grab his hand telling him and he looks up at you, hope filling his eyes. “Okay.” He nods.

“Okay.” You smile, pulling him into a hug, he clings onto you tightly.

“Let’s go bud, this smoke is starting to give me ptsd.” You nudge him and he lets out a small noise you assumed was supposed to be a laugh. Taissa snickers, letting the kid get out first then slinging her arm around your shoulder. “If you need me, or anyone else, just call my name.” You tell her, keeping up with the boy who was waiting patiently for you to hurry up. “Okay, will do.”

You jog up to the boy and motion for him to lead the way.

It was quiet between the two of you, every now and then the both of you will shout for Coach Martinez. You had a very grave feeling about what happened to him. You didn’t think you were going to find him alive but you kept searching with Javi. Not wanting to put that thought into his head.

Unfortunately you guys haven’t even been out more than an hour when a blood curdling scream emits and your heart sinks. “Javi-” You grab onto him, the both of you running in the direction of the scream.

“You see the girls begin to gather around one tree. “What happened!?” You yell, still holding onto Javi who is gripping onto your arm. “[Name]-” Shauna comes to your side when you finally look up to see Coach Martinez on a branch. You gasp, smacking a hand over your mouth. Javi distraught, slowly lets go of your arm but you pull him into your arms. Shauna on the other side of him. “Dad… Daddy.” He cries as your mouth hangs open in shock of the sight.

“Holy macaroni, is that?” Misty and Natalie show up together. “He’s got to be dead, right?” Nat looks to the group, her face obviously filled with the same feeling as everyone else. Shauna throws her a what the fuck look, nodding to Javi and you.

“Alright. Who has the best arm?” Jackie asks. “What?” Lottie steps in.

“We could, you know, throw something at him and see if he moves.” She explains herself. “You want to throw rocks at Coach, who fell out of a plane?” Taissa repeats what she’s comprehending. You grimace at the idea. “I didn’t say rocks. Someone’s shoe, or whatever.” Jackie defends.

“Oh, well, that’s a fuck-ton smarter. You’re on fire today, Jackie- no, wait, that was supposed to be me and [Name].” Van deadpans at the girl who holds herself. You sigh, rubbing Javi’s back up and down. “What?” Taissa looks between you, Van, and Jackie confused on what the redhead is talking about.

“Guys, stop. We need a plan here.” Shauna jumps in, leaving you alone with Javi as she joins the group. “We could lower him with ropes?” Laura Lee offers. Everyone stares at her. As if saying “What ropes?”

“Vines, then.” She continues. “For fuck-sake, Laura Lee, we’re not going to Tarzan him out of a tree.” Natalie snaps. “You got a better idea?” Jackie rebuttals. “Than shoes and vines? Sure. Let’s just cut the fucking thing down.” Natalie shrugs. You look down at Javi who should not be hearing this.

It reminds you of your little siblings. He’s older but his vulnerability, his childness is similar. He’s so young and he was just in a plane crash and his dad is dead on a tree. God, you wonder how your siblings are right now.

You wonder if your mom will tell them how your plane is missing or has crashed. How will she do so…?

How would they react? They’re so dependent on you.

“Dad.” A voice speaks from behind everyone and you look to see Travis. He’s out of his fugue state. Screaming out for his dad. Bolting for the tree and beginning to climb. It’s almost inhuman how fast he’s shimmying up the trunk. The girls yell after him but it falls on deaf ears.

He’s advancing toward the dense branches where his dad is. His body bent in a grotesque way. The boy creeps closer to him, onto thinner branches. He looks down and unfortunately the wood begins to quiver under his added weight. Javi calls out for Travis but still holding onto you. Hiding his face in your body every now and then.

Misty gets the other girls to do their best tying blankets together to create a tarp to catch Coach or Travis.

Travis inches closer but from down below all the girls heard was the branch starting to break. “Travis get back!” “Get back!” They yell after him, hurriedly he does so and not even seconds of him getting to safety the branch breaks. Thudding with the ground.

You force Javi to look away by hugging him closer to you. He lets out a whimper. You also grab onto Van who was closest to you. You hadn’t even noticed her walk to you. She hides her face on your shoulder. “Shit.” She mutters.

Everyone is silent, no one making a peep. Frozen in place, holding onto one another as they got their answer that their Coach is dead. The only adult they have is Coach Ben and he’s knocked out, missing a leg.

You walk backwards with Javi still in your arms. Holding onto him and getting him away from this scene. Van was tripping after you, trying to peer her eyes away from the fallen branch that took Martinez with it.

Javi’s body wracked with sobs and you try to comfort him the best you can. Letting him cling onto you, cry on your shoulder as you sit with him. Van stayed with you for you. Watching your facial expressions with the young boy. Your maternal instincts that went into action automatically without a second thought.

Later in the day a few of the girls sat with you when they felt worked out. Asking you questions and you answering swiftly. They found comfort in you. The younger ones at least. The seniors see you as a friend. An equal but watching how you are with the freshman. With Javi, it’s making them a little envious.

Javi falls asleep beside your body and you stare down at him sadly. His hair messily in his face. If he was your little brother- or sister, you would have moved it out of the way.

They begged you to play with their hair before they went to bed. Every night. Now it’s just mainly your sister who does so. Theo says he’s too old for that.

The younger girls were also laying around you, falling asleep or talking amongst one another. You look to Van who’s still beside you. Picking at her nails. “He’s sleeping.” You whisper.

“Want me to watch him for a bit?” She asks and the corner of your lips twitch upward. “I’d appreciate it. I’m just going to get my stuff. I think I’m going to stay near him.” You stand up from your spot, stretching out your body. Hearing all the pops and cracks. Accidentally rubbing your left arm against your side. Your nostrils flare a bit at the pain.

You were also going to care for that burn you forgot about. You’ve been so distracted you didn’t even remember to put the cream on it. You also note to put more on Mari’s thigh.

“Can you grab mine as well? I found my suitcase before… Coach.” She stammers and you nod your head. “You sure? You don’t have to stay, I’d understand wanting to be around your closer friends.” You motion to the other seniors. She shakes her head. “I’d say we’re closer than all those fuckers. Almost dying a second time together.” She reminds you and you snicker. “True.”

You make it to where everyone is, a little breathless. “Javi fell asleep. Van’s got her eye on him.” You announce. “Where’s Travis?” Natalie asks and you shrug. “I haven’t seen him. Want me to help you look?” You offer as you pick up your things along with Vans and her eyes fall to what you’re grabbing. Noticing it.

She smiles a little bit without trying to make it obvious. “Nah, I got it.”

“It’s going to be dark soon. Shouldn’t we maybe… make a fire?” Akilah speaks up and Natalie lifts up a lighter, flicking it.

“We have the wood [Name] had us gather.” Mari comes up and you smile. “Let’s make a spot!” You clap your hands.

“I do not want to touch any dead bodies, but we have to get them out of the plane so we have somewhere to sleep.” Jackie suddenly says as she shivers. “Fuck. I almost forgot- I mean, I still can’t believe they’re all…” She doesn’t say the word. Everyone takes in their grief. The enormity of what happened.

“We can’t sleep in there. It’ll be way colder.” Misty looks at the charred husk of the fuselage. “Yeah, like that makes sense…” Jackie scoffs. “Misty’s right. It’s the law of thermodynamics.” Mari stands up for the blonde.

“How about the Law of Getting Eaten by bears? Ever heard of that one?” Jackie sarcastically comments and you laugh. “The crash was pretty loud. I doubt there will be bears or any animal near here for a while.” You assure her and she glances at you for a second.

“If we take turns keeping the fire going, we should be alright.” Taissa chimes in offering another idea on the table.

You notice Misty looking between Taissa and Mari, thankful. You also see Jackie throwing Shauna a look, feeling ganged up on. “It’s just for a night.” Shauna makes a face. “Whatever. You guys do what you fucking want.” Jackie storms off and you roll your eyes.

Heading back to Van and placing the stuff down. “We’re going to be getting a fire started.” You inform her, she hums. Looking up at you. “I’m going to let him rest for a bit but then have him move once we have everything done.” You reach a hand out for her to take.

“Mm, good idea. He’s out like a light.” She says, taking your hand and standing up. “I know I’ve been bringing it up a bit. But thank you for helping me. Staying with me when you could’ve ran with Jackie and Shauna.” She squeezes your hand and you wave it off. “I promised you I wasn’t going to leave you. Can’t break a promise.” You smile.

The girls gather the dead bodies, putting them in an area and covering them with a banner for the Yellowjackets. You heard the sobs from your spot as you sat with Javi at the fire. Along with Jackie who sat a little bit away from you. You had set up a spot for all the girls. Even tried to do so for Travis but he insisted on being away from everyone even if it meant he was going to be cold.

You have been aiding people with their injuries with your first aid kit. Even if it was small you were still checking in on anyone and everyone. You kept the kit right next to you.

Slowly the girls were coming back to the fire the later it got. Van plopped right next to you on your left side since Javi was on the right. She nudges you, accidentally hitting your burn.

You let out a small yelp but immediately cover it up with a weird noise then a cough. The redhead gives you a look but you try to avoid her gaze, turning your head to see some snacks you found.

“Hey, you want these?” You murmur and she looks at the bag of corn nuts.

“I mean, if you want to share. Sure.” She nods. It was relieving that she didn’t question you further.

“I’m sure the plane has an emergency transmitter sending out a distress signal. They’ll be here to rescue us by morning.” Shauna attempts to give hope to everyone.

“Still, maybe we should conserve some food. In case they don’t come until later in the day.” Jackie comments, looking at you and Van eating from the little bag.

“So you wanna save the corn nuts?” She glares, defiantly popping another bite into her mouth and you stop chewing on the one you had. Feeling a bit awkward. Jackie looks at you, hopeful you’d understand what she meant.

“A singular bag isn’t hurting anyone. I don’t think you meant badly by what you said Jackie but let’s hope they find us in the morning.” You give her a sympathetic smile and she attempts to do it back but instead just frowns.

Javi is back to leaning against you, staring at the fire as you had your arm wrapped around him. Your hand rubbing up and down his bicep. It was a quiet agreement between the both of you. You were now his comfort person. You were now the person he was going to run to when he’s upset or scared.

And you didn’t mind it.

“You okay, Laura Lee?” Taissa speaks up, earning the attention from everyone. “This is all my fault. I did something really bad.” Her eyes shine with guilt and sadness. “I kept screwing up at my piano lesson last week. And Mrs. Brophy kept yelling at me. Sharp. No, F sharp. F sharp!” She mimics her piano teacher. “She kept saying I needed to practice more, but I did practice. I swear. And I just… I called her a bad word. Just in my head, but God heard me. And how we’re being punished!” She breathes out,

Everyone exchanges a look. “What did you call her?” Taissa asks.

“Cunt.” Laura Lee shamefully whispers.

And the absurdity of it all makes everyone erupt into laughter. Even Javi. The release of Laura Lee’s shameful action leads to others. “I steal shitty clothes from the TJ Maxx near my house.” Lottie blurts out and this time eyes were on her. “Then I return them and get store credit I never use. I have thousands of dollars in TJ bucks.” She admits and more laughter carries on.

“I used to sneak down after everybody had gone to bed and watch the Color Of Night so I could pause it on Bruce Willis’s wang. I mean, Jeff’s not bad, but damn.” Jackie says to the group. “That is definitely why we crashed.” Taissa jokes. And since everyone is having too much twisted fun, no one saw Misty heat an axe in the fire before walking away.

“I started that rumor about Becky Colgate getting her dog to eat her out with peanut butter ‘cause she got a better grade than me in Trig.” Mari says and you gasp while also laughing with everyone else.

“What about you, Shipman? Any secrets big enough to crash a goddamn plane?” The attention goes to the brown-eyed girl. “Remember when Randy took us to that party in Holmdel?”

“Where that trashy girl was a bitch to you about drinking her Zima?” Jackie raises a brow.

“Yeah… I found her bedroom later and peed on her pillow.” She tells and everyone loves it, laughing in delight but it’s quickly cut short but an agonized scream.

Everyone shoots up, running over as Coach Scott passes out from the pain. Misty had cauterized his leg. “It was the only way to stop the bleeding for good.” Misty says, remorseless.

2021

“Can you please just come with me?” Natalie breathes, carrying a duffel bag and you cross your arms in front of her. “I mean I’m here aren’t I?” You roll your eyes and she smiles.

“Like back in the day.” She comments and you scoff. “Yeah, ride or die but this is… something.” You bite your tongue from what you really want to say.

“You left me at the bar with Misty last night.” You add and she laughs. “I had a hookup before going to that bar, you know. And I cut it short for your ass. And you left me!” You complain and she just ignores you, walking to her Porsche with you behind her.

You had driven over because she offered you coffee. So far no coffee and you don’t even think there’s a plan to get any. Another disappointment you had to live with.

She throws her bag into the trunk as you get into the passenger seat of the car. Natalie hops in, sticking the key in and turning it. Nothing happens. You give your best friend a look as she tries it again but it still won’t start.

A car honks beside you and the both of you look up to see Misty pulling up in her periwinkle blue Fiat.

“Everything, okay?” It was muffled since Natalie’s window was up. Natalie looks over at you, both of you sharing a look before she rolls the window down. “I was getting coffee and saw you both.” Holding up a cup of coffee and pointing over her shoulder to the coffee place next to the motel. You look at it with raging jealousy.

“Engine trouble?” Misty asks.

“Looks like it.” Natalie answers. “You going someplace? I’m actually off today. Tomorrow, too. Just saying.” She gives unwarranted information. “Where you two going?”

“We were actually thinking of taking a little trip up north.” Natalie tells. “To see Travis? Aw, but your car! Well, I had some errands to run, but I can take you if you want. We can make it a road trip!” She offers. “I actually have my car we could use…” You say and the two look over at your beat up car that’s over 20 years old. A car you refuse to get rid of due to how attached you were. “Juno runs pretty good for her age.”

Natalie looks back to Misty. “We’ll take your car, but I’m driving.” She points and you huff in annoyance.

You get out of the Porsche and Natalie grabs her duffel bag as you climb into the Fiat’s back seat. Natalie and Misty walk by each other so Natalie can drive. Misty pulls out two more coffees and offers it to the both of you after getting into the car.

“Why’d you buy three?” Natalie questions.

“Oh, I usually always buy things in twos. So that way I always have enough to share but today just felt like I should buy three. And man, my feeling was right!” She beams, you could care less about her dumb excuse, taking the coffee that you’ve been desperate all morning for.

Natalie starts the engine and pulls out, Misty continues to talk about things she buys two of.

Taglist: if you want to be added lmk!

@caught-the-feels

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hardbeingcasual · 1 month ago

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“how to be a real man.”

real man van palmer fem reader

about. your ex embarrasses you at a party and van steps in.

warnings. au yj (no crash). no taivan. reader isn’t aware of her sexuality. men. the ‘ex’ doesn’t have a name because he is irrelevant . cringe probably

♪ real man, beabadoobee

this is how tomorrow moves masterlist

yj masterlist / masterlist

You hated parties, the socialising.

You somehow found yourself at a highschool party, a red plastic cup in your hand, half filled with a random alcoholic beverage you didn’t even know the name of, all alone because your friends were god knows where. You watch as your ex drank the night away, a new girl on his arm, you scoffed at that, downing the contents of your drink, before going to refill the cup.

It’s just your luck that your ex… who happened to watch your figure retreating outside was now following you into the kitchen to the house — you didn’t know whose house it was but Jackie insisted you and the rest of the yellowjackets came to the party.

You start mixing random drinks that you didn’t even know could be mixed together in your red plastic cup, not noticing the dark presence at your side.

“Is all that really necessary?” He jokes, as he watches you pour the drinks together.

You roll your eyes at his aggregating voice, you nod. “Yeah, it’s to block out your irritating voice.” You snark back, noticing his angered expression you almost smirked to yourself in success.

Before you knew it, an argument had broken out, him shouting total nonsense to you as you awkwardly scratched your head waiting for him to shut up. “You broke up with me, remember? So don’t get so ratty with me—” He had the audacity to say that, considered he slept with another girl — the same girl who was on his arm moments ago, while you both were together.

You stared blankly at him, “Are you done?”

He got closer to you, pointing his finger at you “Don’t start—”

Van, your saviour steps in. Though you weren’t quite sure where she came from— like a knight in shining armor, “That’s enough, Man. Seriously get out of her face.” She declared, her head whipping back to you to check on you.

Your ex rolls his eyes, “Stay out of this, Vanessa. This little bitch—” He gets interrupted once again as Van suddenly punches him, crazily enough she knocked him to the floor. Guess he was not that strong enough. You stare in shock as his body goes tumbling but can’t help the drunken laugh that leaves your mouth. You look down to your red cup before drinking some of it and then— you pour the remaining on your ex’s body that was leaned against the kitchen counter.

You heard him shout at you, calling you a bitch or whatever but you didn’t care since Van was dragging you out of the house party, laughter leaving her lips as she pulled you down the street.

To your luck you just happened to live a few blocks away, your parents weren’t home, so you drag Van upstairs and into your bedroom.

You insist she sits on the bed so she does, you take her hand in yours as you sit next to her and inspect the bloodied knuckles. You tsk, but smirk slightly. “That was badass, I’ll admit.”

Van feels a sense of pride go through her veins at your words, “He had it coming to him, he was gonna lay his hands on you.”

“Well thank god you were there to protect me.” You smile softly, as you start to trail your hand from her hand slowly up her arm and to her face.

She gulps slowly at your touch, “What’re you doing…”

You shrugged, you looked at her differently than usual, maybe your drunken mind had finally opened your eyes and showed you how attractive she was.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as your eyes trail down to her lips, before looking back into her eyes. Her eyes widening at your actions.

Your hand trailed down from her face to her neck. You felt each other getting closer as your faces became inches away from each other. You look at Van for some sort of confirmation to which she nods.

You lick your lips as you decide to make the move, pressing your lips against hers, your lips moulding together, like you were trapped together like glue.

You both pull away to catch your breaths. You lean your forehead against Van’s as you gaze into her eyes.

“I knew it was always you.” You could’ve sworn you were drunk off of love and not the alcohol.

Van chuckles as she tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, “I’m glad you figured it out.” She whispered softly, as she leaned in again to steal another kiss from you.

published 13/5/25 1:55am gmt

notes. probably so cringe but i really can’t sleep and i wanted to write for van <3 my fav. this isn’t my fav but i tried my best to write it !

#hardbeingcasual #x reader #yellowjackets x fem reader #van palmer #van palmer x reader #van palmer x you #yellowjackets fluff #yellowjackets fanfiction #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets van #vanessa palmer

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starinhereyes · 21 days ago

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party for you|van x reader fic

no crash college au? van palmer x reader

you and lottie always threw the best parties- both of you still living close to campus with your parents. half the freshman class came to the last few - but this time you were throwing it in hopes a certain red head came.

cws- fem!reader, underage drinking, weed use, kissing, randy is a bit forceful? at one part but it's not for very long.

2.4k words.

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‘ugh this all so useless i have no clue what to wear!’ you say sighing, throwing the shirt you just had on the floor.

‘wear that shirt that shows off your boobs you have’ your best friend nat scatorccio said as she sat on your bed smoking watching as you dig through finding the shirt she was on about and put it over your head. ‘see hot’ she says as you check yourself out in the mirror.

‘okay great, thanks, ’ you say, walking over to her, taking a drag of the blunt she was smoking- you would need it. hosting a wiskayok college party was always stressful, but especially this time needing to impress a certain red head.

almost like she read your mind nat talks, ‘so are you going to make a move or just eye fuck her like you’ve been doing the last 100 practices.’ you playfully shove your friend and take another drag before handing it back to her.

‘you have no room to talk your the exact same with taylor’ you reply smirking at nat teasing her for her crush on your captain.

‘look if she didn’t have that idiot around her, who i know she doesn’t even like, we’d be married with kids’ nat jokes ‘anyway this isn’t about me it's about you' she goes back to teasing poking your leg.

‘ugh i don’t know’, you say, flopping back on your bed ‘i’m helpless, besides, i don't even know if she likes girls.' nat laughs at this. 'i don't think we need to worry about that' nat says jokingly. she was right. van was the textbook definition of a girl kisser. 'okay i know, i know, it's just easier if i use that as an excuse,' you say, turning to look at nat, smirking, taking another hit from the joint.

the doorbell ringing downstairs broke you and nat from your talking ‘shit’ you say stubbing out the joint and running downstairs.

lottie mathews, jackie taylor and her on and off boyfriend jeff and his weirdo friends were at your door with their drinks ‘hi!’ you say before hugging both the girls and letting them and their questionable company into your house.

the party had been going for about an hour now, and van still hadn’t shown up you were walking around chatting with everyone, but kept thinking about the red-haired goalkeeper you wanted to show up, hoping every person that walked through your front door would be her.

god you were ridiculous.

‘dude come on have a drink’ nat says, slinging an arm over your shoulder, handing you a red cup with a vile-smelling liquid. you take a sip your whole body covered in goosebumps ‘jesus what the fuck is that’ you say coughing as nat laughs at you shrugging.

‘i don’t know, all i know is you need to enjoy your party’ nat says before whispering ‘she’ll be here soon’ you stick your tongue out at your best friend before walking into your kitchen to follow her advice.

a few minutes later, you see van walk into your house greeting everyone from your kitchen and your heart already gets caught in your throat.

calm down, you say in your head giving yourself a pep talk.

the way van walked into the party so seamlessly, fitting in right away, it was sickening.

caught up in your own head you didn’t notice the red head had walked up in front of you.

‘hey!’ she says cheerily.

‘hi’ you say awkwardly taking a sip of your drink to hide the blush creeping on your face. 'sorry i'm late, i needed to finish my homework for my film class' she says letting out an exasperated sigh. 'don't worry about it' you reply smiling like you hadn't thrown this party just for her to show up.

‘what are you drinking?’ she asks ‘no clue just mixed everything into one drink, probably not the best idea but it doesn’t taste too bad.’ you reply.

‘i’ll try’ she replied and you, maybe a bit too enthusiastically, started making her a drink. ‘here you go’ you say, handing it to her, not missing the way her fingers brushed against yours on the plastic cup. the touch sending butterflies in your stomach. watching as van held the drink up to her lips and took a sip.

‘you were right, not awful,’ she says the compliment making you blush again. 'should we go and join everyone else?' you ask as she nods and follows you into your living room, the sound of shoop by salt-n-pepa blasting through the speakers as a few girls on the team sung along dancing the view making you smile.

lottie grabs your arm and pulls you in to join them and you do, your alcohol concoction and the weed from earlier finally allowing you to relax a bit.

as you dance you glance back at van, not missing the way she blushed as you caught her staring at you before she turns and walks back into your kitchen.

a couple more drinks later you were definitely tipsy, finally catching up to the rest of the team and the gaggle of people in your house.

as you walk through your living room to try and find nat a hand grabs your arm randy walsh is looking down at you. you pull your arm out of his grip as he bends over his lips coming near your ear, ‘you look good tonight, great party’ he says before winking at you.

you fight down your up chuck reflex and just smile and thank him before turning to walk away but he grabs your arm again, ‘come on don’t play hard to get’ he says.

‘i’m not randy. leave me alone’ you spit out but he doesn’t let go of your arm. you feel another tap on your shoulder. ‘uh y/n i think we are out of ice’ you turn and see van there your heart rate calming.

randy lets go of your arm at vans presence and you take a step back before scowlign at him. ‘i’ll uh go and get some more’ you say walking toward your basement, van following you down the steps.

‘hey you okay?’ van asks as you make it into the basement. ‘yeah all good’ you say turning and opening the freezer. ‘we aren’t actually out of ice by the way’ she says, taking a step closer.

‘oh’

‘i just noticed randy being a freak and saved you’ she says and you put the ice back not turning to face her ‘unless you didn’t want saving? you could like him or something, shit i’m sorry’ she asks and you turn around.

‘oh no i definitely did uh thanks’ you say smiling reassuring her ‘i am definitely not into randy walsh’ you say making a gagging motion and she laughs.

‘okay good because that would be tragic’ she jokes. you tilt your head ‘why would that be tragic?’ you question the alcohol making you braver, flirtation laced in your words.

‘because you’re definitely way too hot for him’ she replies stepping closer. her proximity and words making heat climb up your neck as you blush deeply, if she asked you could blame it on the alcohol, but you got the feeling she wouldn’t. you swallow your mouth suddenly going dry.

‘did you just call me hot palmer? you must be drunk’ you say testing the waters.

‘i did, but believe me its not because i’m drunk.’ her words assertive and changing the tone of the conversation. your heart was beating so quickly in your chest you swear van could hear it herself.

it was just the two of you alone down here.

the realisation suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks, not helping the thumping your heart was doing in your chest. you were at a loss for words. hating that you apparently couldn’t flirt to save your life so instead you take a step closer to van. your chests now centimetres apart. you catch her glancing at your lips.

‘oh yeah?’ you quip taking your own glance at vans lips. ‘yeah’ she nods and grabs your arm pulling you closer before her hand cups your cheek.

‘can i?’ she asks looking at your lips. you nod and vans lips are on yours.

its a light kiss at first both of you feeling it out before you put your hand behind vans head deepening the kiss. both of your lips moving together, you could taste the alcohol from earlier on vans lips and it set your entire body on fire. you felt her other hand on your lower back, pulling you in closer like she was scared you would run. your free hand moves to grab the front of vans shirt pulling her in closer.

the movement makes van push you back. you now up against your basement wall with her tounge at the front of your lips. you open your mouth slightly letting her tounge in. you had never kissed anyone like this in your life. you were worried your knees would actually buckle beneath you.

until you hear the door open ‘are you two grabbing ice or what!’ someone shouts from the top of the steps. the two of you break apart quickly, lips puffy and panting.

‘uh yeah sorry bringing it now’ you reply breathless.

‘i thought you were lying about the ice’ you joke ‘i was, but we must have actually been out’ van said and you notice the deep blush on her face.

you smirk at her and grab the ice out of your freezer and turn to walk away but van grabs your hand and pulls you in for another kiss quickly before walking up the stairs. you compose yourself for a few seconds before following her up the stairs and into the kitchen with more ice.

it was getting late, the party was dying down only a few people remained and you were kind of hoping they were going to leave so you could start tidying and go to bed. you were in the living room talking to lottie and mari about how maris boyfriend just broke up with her for his second cousin. poor girl. you and lottie both giving words of comfort trying to console her.

‘we are off!’ jackie says with jeff and shauna as you get up and say goodbye. ‘we should probably get going too, i have a class at 9am’ lottie says ‘come on mar i’ll take you home’ pulling the crying girl up off your sofa.

‘thanks for coming’ you say sending them off and hugging your teammates. everyone else seemed to get the hint as the stragglers made their way out your front door, saying bye to you on their way out.

‘i’ll be going too’ nat says coming up behind you. ‘you don’t want to stay?’ you ask confused as she usually did after a party but then she nods her chin to someone behind you. ‘don’t want to intrude’ she says smirking and you look behind you to see why- van was stood there chatting to tai.

you poke nat before hugging her ‘page me when you get home’ ‘will do’ she says before walking out your house a knowing smirk on her face.

you walk toward tai and van hearing their conversation. ‘you want a lift home?’ you hear tai ask van, annoyance growing in your stomach at her tone. you had no clue why, must be the alcohol. ‘i’m okay, the walk would sober me up thanks!’ van replies as tai nods before saying bye to you and leaving.

it was just you and van stood in your front room now, the music still playing from the living room travelling through the walls. you both looked at each other ‘so i should probably leave as well’

‘no!’ you blurted out a bit too quickly ‘uh you can stay, if you want?’ you ask and take a step closer ‘you can help me clean up’ you say smirking van rolls her eyes. 'well what is in it for me?' she says stepping closer. her closeness having the same effect on you now as it did earlier downstairs in your basement.

the memory making your mouth dry.

'oh i see how it is palmer.' you say catching her eyes travel down your lips and your cleavage. making a mental note to thank nat for her shirt recommendation.

her gaze makes a blush travel up your cheeks, and she notices. you move away from her and into the kitchen to start cleaning up. 'come on then,' you tease.

after 30 minutes of picking up empty bottles and cups, your house was relatively tidy, you flop down on your sofa and look at the time 2am. van flops down next to you, her leg brushing against yours, peppering goosebumps on your exposed flesh. you crane your neck to look over at the red head relaxed on your sofa. staring at her.

'are we going to talk about earlier?' you ask, anxiety tying up knots in your stomach. 'if you want to?' she asks, opening her eyes to look at you. 'i mean like were you just drunk or like' you say, rambling looking down at your hands.

'it definitely wasn't because of the alcohol y/n,' van says reassuringly as she places her hand below your chin to make you look at her. the action making your stomach spin. 'okay good to know' you say, smirking.

you catch her glancing at your lips again so this time you move in and connect your lips to hers. your not sure if its because you had sobered up now, the weed and alcohol not swirling in your brain as much but this kiss felt so much deeper.

it turned hungry quick- both of you needing eachothers lips, you shift yourself so you were now hovering over van, each knee planted at each side. you felt her hands move to your hips, yours moved to behind her head. you pulled away for a second, looking down at her.

'fuck' you breathe out. before bringing your lips back down to hers, vans hands going underneath your shirt on bare skin. her lips trailing down your jaw. a quiet breathless moan escaping your lips.

'no-one is home did you want to go to my room?' you ask looking down at her, she nods. you stand up and pull down your skirt which had hiked up around your hips before grabbing her hand and taking her up the stairs.

the party you secretly threw just for her had worked out quite well.

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