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cluelessatthispoint · 1 year

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Whos your favorite EB character?

I gotta say, it would be cool to see the big yandere heavy obsessing over a reader trying to fight him

Oh, my goodness! it was a really tough choice because all of the Emesis Blue characters are so unique, and they all have their idiosyncratic qualities that make them special! If I had to choose one....it would definitely be either Pyro or the two Conagher brothers.

They are just so scary and I really like that...idk why :)

~~~~~~~~

Yandere Emesis Blue Heavy x Fighting Obsessed Reader

Walking through the remains of what used to be the Conagher Slaughterhouse you noticed two things very quickly on. One; whatever happened here was disastrous, the second thing was that Mann Co was definitely up to something that was no good. Being a modern "ruin explorer" as you liked to call yourself you have never seen a building quite as disturbing as this. This was the second time that you've explored the Slaughterhouse and it just seemed to get creepier than the first time. The first time you explored it the smell of rotting and decaying flesh filled your senses, and you got lost in all the twists and turns that the base had.

It always felt like something. Or somebody was watching you. Something big always lurked in the corner of your eyes...but whenever you turned to look. There would be nothing. That was when you saw your first ever dead body....bodies. Remembering how you tried to call the police and get someone over here to check things out was a bust. When the officer arrived, they looked high and low and found nothing. It was like whatever was there was moved in only a span of mere hours. Your crying and distressed voice on the phone apparently made you seem "hysterical", and the officer asked you if you had any medications that you were currently taking.

Shaking your head of the negative thoughts you smiled grimly. Today you would finally bring back some proof. The camera strap that hung from your neck dug slightly into your skin. Its weight felt grounding and secure. You have with you a camera, a flashlight and a small tube of pepper spray. You felt ready for anything. Walking into the building you could smell....not something rotting....but something...burning? Scrunching your face in thought up you tried to place that smell. Somethings that was burnt? Something currently burning? Sighing softly, you force yourself deeper into the ruins; taking pictures along the way.

"Alright, now it's flashlight time.." Your soft voice echoed through the base, cutting the silence like a knife.

"I'm not scared, I am armed, I'm not scared I am armed." You repeated this like a mantra. The more you said it, the more you desperately wanted to believe it.

Walking down a long corridor with branching sides; you almost didn't see the hulking mass you passed by. Almost. Stopping dead in your tracks you turn your head slowly and stare. Eyes widening as you finally connect the dots. You can feel your breath becoming shallower, your palms sweaty and numb. Letting out a soft "Oh" sound you stared at the hulking behemoth that was so close to you. Trailing your eyes up you noticed that the large man was staring right back at you. His wide eyes gleaming in the darkness. A jolt of fear ran down your spine.

"Oh."

"Oh, no."

Ohhh, no, no, no."

"Whoa no."

You could feel your hairs standing on end and your limbs growing heavier. There was no doubt in your mind that this was the person who moved the corpses earlier. You gulped audibly, and subconsciously curled into yourself. In a moment of panic, you did the only thing you could think of on the top of your head.

"Hey! come on! you and me! let's go! come on! yeah! come on! fight me!"

You put your hands in front of your face and lowered your stance. You felt so scared and so angry at the same time right now that you didn't think of anything else other than "throwing hands".

Heavy widened his eyes at seeing your display. Smiling softly behind his mask he tilted his head downwards and stared at you. How funny it was to him seeing how you tried to stand and challenge him to a fight. He felt so renewed at seeing such a vibrant individual filled with such life and vigor. How he wanted to fight you and win. How he wanted to see you explore all the things that life had to offer. Feeling a series of emotions well up in his chest he took a step towards you. Smiling wider to himself as he sees you scramble to take a step back. You looked so cute. So small.

"....."

Watching as you removed your camera from your neck slowly, he felt himself take another step forward. Without a moment's hesitation you threw the camera with all you had at his chest. Tilting his head confusedly at your actions was all the response you received. Watching as your face willed with panic and rage he watched amusedly as you closed the gap between yourself, and his large body and you start flailing your fists. Punching and kicking him he truly noticed how small you are compared to him.

"Aarrrgh!"

"Not fair! Not fair! The police think I'm crazy because of you!"

"Say something!"

Your attacks felt like nothing to him. Letting this go on for however long you deemed necessary he waited for you to get tired. Which didn't take very long at all. After a few minutes he let you tire yourself out and stepped even closer. Wrapping his arms around your upper body he picked you up and carried you back further into the base. Your panicked and enraged screams filled the silence and he smiled.

"No! No! No! No! Let go!"

"Damn it! Let go!"

The way you kicked and swung your arms and legs signaled you finally had your second wind, or that adrenaline was finally kicking in. Letting out a deep resounding chuckle he held you close. How tired you would be after this flashed across his mind. He finally had somebody to take care of. Someone who could keep him company. Someone who he could protect.... No matter how long it takes he would be making sure that your feisty attitude dies down.

"Somebody help me!"

~~~~~

Sorry about the long wait, finals is kicking my butt. Yandere Heavy is for sure what I needed to get inspired! I hope that you enjoyed this and feel free to leave any more emesis blue asks/requests. I live off of them.

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bullywug-n-mugwort · 4 months

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idk why people just decide they get to invalidate someone else's identity when they are not the one with that identity and therefore don't know what they're talking about. just saw someone i otherwise respect reblog a post about how bisexual lesbian is an invalid term because each term has changed over time and claiming it's lesbophobic and biphobic to use the term [something something mutually exclusive experiences]. i usually call my orientation "queer" but i often use "bi lesbian" to make sense of my own experience. the tags of this post were full of people dunking on all imagined reasons someone may call themselves a bi lesbian, none of which reflect my own experiences and reasoning.

not that i should have to defend myself, but a lot of these comments were very fixated on the experiences of "liking only women" vs "liking both women and men." these categories obviously have social significance, but to me personally, romantically and sexually, these categories aren't super helpful. i cannot isolate traits of manhood or womanhood i find attractive. i'm into femme traits until i see a hot butch. i like certain chests, certain facial features, and any genitals. these traits don't map onto coherent binary genders very well. not to mention my attractions shift with my fluid gender. if i'm looking for a consistent pattern, i'm into gendernonconformity if anything. i guess i'm far more into women than i am men unless the man is a flamboyant twink but at the end of the day i'm not into either as much as i am a very specific weird collection of queer gender markers. (and pansexual had never seemed to fit the bill, because there are also many gender expressions and markers i am certainly unattracted to.)

does that really make me a biphobic bisexual? i wrestled with more shame at the idea that i was a lesbian, a stereotype threat for the bisexual community i love. the twink i married turned out not to be a man at all. i was struggling with worries about comphet for years because i loved them but our marriage didn't feel "right," and now that we're both practicing genderqueers it does. to me, that experience made bisexuality feel less like home than it had before. at the same time, finding like two men attractive excludes me from the lesbian community. is it such a sin to have found home in a term that made coherent my knot of comphet and dysphoria?

i realized, as many lesbians with comphet do, that i would probably never be happy in a relationship with a man, as in someone who self- identified as a man and embraced manhood. i also find astarion bg3 hot as fuck. i fail to see how these are mutually exclusive experiences.

can i guarantee that no biphobia or lesbophobia has wormed its way into my brain? of course not, but it is so strange that embracing both those terms brands you as someone who hates both. it's also strange to exclude people from terms on the basis of internalized shame. why care if some people call themselves bi lesbians? does it feel invalidating to you? that's your own work-- same as women who think afab nonbinary people are really just women who are ashamed of being a woman and therefore should continue living as "women". (ie it's not my job to choose an identity that you approve of or think is free of shame. you figure it out.) are you worried it invalidates us in the eyes of the heteros? i simply don't believe in policing our own terms to make cishets see us as more valid or understandable. it's disguised respectability politics, plain and simple.

all these terms for our identities are best fits and best guesses, grasping for connections under this big lovely queer umbrella. the person who reblogged that post is a nonbinary lesbian. why do the same people who accept the concept of a nonbinary lesbian-- a thing that should be impossible if the term "lesbian" has actually calcified as the post claims-- insist that "bisexual" and "lesbian" are concrete, immovable, and mutually exclusive identities? to be extremely clear, i support nonbinary lesbianism. it's valid. and it's a weird fucking line to draw, saying that the gender spectrum can support loosely-gendered lesbianism on the side of the beholder but not the recipients.

there was also a historical argument claiming that people are misinterpreting contexts in which bisexual lesbian was used circa early 20th century. and like... okay??? i found the term in a pdf zine from the 90's which interviewed self-identified bisexual lesbians, gleaning a bunch of different reasons for the label. some fell into the assumptions of the aforementioned post, eg bisexuals who were basically political lesbians. (i don't claim to support this stance, though i do still insist people can call themselves whatever they want.) many more summarized complicated stories like mine, people who did not fall neatly into either "mutually exclusive" category because, it turns out, gender is a fluid weird spectrum. bi lesbians whose attractions are bi and gender is lesbian. bi lesbians who were literally only into women except for one "man". bi lesbians who were trying to untangle comphet and so weren't sure which label, if either, fit. bi lesbians who liked to fuck any gender but only fell in love with "women". so anyway, fuck outta here with "history doesn't work like that" narrow target practice.

and even if that's true... again, words are evolving all the time. we've made words like sapphic and achillean to make some sense of gender. "lesbian" has on-off been used as a gender term for decades. we've invited nonbinary people into lesbianism and many understandings of gender into bisexuality. bi lesbian is another evolution of our language, and people have been shitty about it since at least the early days of DTWOF-- bechdel's characters struggled with all of the above since the 80's.

and what's the point of terms? to find community, self- identity, and sometimes practical utility, eg in the dating world. were i to date again (yikes), "bisexual" would not be a helpful self-descriptor for finding a romantic partner. lesbian would. if i wanted to hook up, bisexual would be more helpful than lesbian, and i'd have to root through lots of gender expressions anyway. so in terms of my self identity and finding communities of similar folk, "bi lesbian" is a super helpful term. if you are a bisexual or a lesbian and feel frustrated or confused by my term, that's because it doesn't apply to you. maybe just realize this isn't your thing and leave our community to explore our experiences. love you, see you later in the sapphic tags where we have things in common.

so anyway, i think it's pretty silly to see a term, imagine reasons you dislike for why someone may use it, and pitch a fit. my identity's legitimacy has no bearing on yours. leave us alone.

#anyway #fuck that got long #that logic just really gets to me #obviously #i don't want to respond to the main post because i don't want to risk a stupid dogpile and days of arguing #but i'll post this in our tag so others can know i see you and you're doing great #bi lesbian #bi lesbianism #bisexual lesbian

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the-kipsabian · 2 years

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before i go to bed, since its ace week

hi. my name is night. im an aroace agender person

i dont connect with a gender. im physically a woman cause i dont know what i want from my body to actually look like, and getting treatment is behind a wall made out of loooooong time of doctors appointments and therapy and tests and whatnot. even more so for a person like me who has been diagnosed with mental issues before. however, that doesnt change the fact that i feel no connection to this gender, or any other - i mentally see myself just as a meat blob, having to just exist in this body without another option right now, tho what i physically look like on the outside rn does not represent how i actually feel. i know im genderless. im not a woman nor do i want to be, im also not a man nor do i wanna be that either. im also not a secret third option, im no option at all. im the 'opt out to not answer this question' button. the none of the other

im also very much an aromantic. ive had crushes before tho so ive thought for the longest time i might be demi. cause all my crushes came to be after a mental connection with these people were made. but it also never came with more than 'oh this person was nice to me at a time i really needed that, i like them and wanna maybe like be close to them and idk hold hands??’ but thinking back on it now, ive never actually like. felt romantic towards anyone. i have never been in love as far as im concerned. i dont like kissing, hugs and hand holding are reserved for people i care about closely but not in a sense where i wanna date them. or maybe i’d like to try, but i also know im never gonna love them as more than my friends. any kind of intimate bullshit is out of the question unless we’re close friends and mostly when i initiate. i think im incapable of feeling romantic love, but i dont think this is a bad thing in the slightest. i just view it as the necessary evil in a sense, where all the love i do got to give is the same for everyone regardless of our status and their gender etc., and its just a sign that we are friends. i have a love language, but its not romantic, i dont feel it, but i still show it to people who i deeply do care about. and thats okay

ive always been ace. i grew up always thinking everyone else was weird (and honestly kinda gross lmao) thinking about sex and kissing and boyfriends and girlfriends and i was just. idk in a sense trying to fit in. but i never leaned that way, i still dont - ive known for the longest time that i am sex repulsed, thats nothing new to me, which is why even as a supposed adult at the ripe age of 30 (lol) im still not getting into smut, like yeah that should be saying something. like this started when i was maybe like 12 or 13 and this kind of stuff started to pop up for the first time in my small friend circle, and i just never got into anything like that that a person my age was maybe supposed to. i was never interested. and one thing im thankful about having grown up the fucked up way i did is that i never dated. i never had to find out about my orientation that way. like maybe i spent a lot of time thinking i was a demi on this section too, just thinking that it was very normal for kids not to be that horny as i wasnt either - but i still couldnt get into the “horny” stuff kids my age were getting into. it was weird. but, i had all the time to think about it, and eventually when i got old enough to separate the sexual and romantic attractions and online became a place i could search on my own safely (yay first own laptop!) and more informative about this stuff, the labels just. kinda fell into my lap. and it made sense. ive made my peace about being this way a long time ago and i dont care what that makes me in someone elses eyes (for example, my mom thinks its better that im “supposedly ace” rather than i would date girls :))) ), i know who i am and how i am. and im ace. and you can have all the sex you want idc im not here to preach i just know thats not for me and i do not crave for it, not now, not ever, and never have

oh and also yeah i think my bio says flux in there, its a thing i was made aware of recently in my last identity meltdown few months ago, which is basically like. you are the base of these identities (in this case, aroace) but some times it might very slightly but noticeably fluctuate towards something else for a brief amount of time - so if you’ve ever seen one of my gay panic moments yeah it might be actual real gay feelings i have. i dont know, but it feels appropriate and accurate and even if its not, having a little label to pin on it like an asterisk helps my anxiety about it so. yeah. and thats the most important things

im not only writing this to make it clear who i am and what i am, but maybe someone will see this and know that no matter what they identify as and what they are, they are valid and loved. if nothing else, i love you 💜

#night is an absolute mess on main #aromantic #asexual #agender #im tagging this yay #if you have a problem block and move on im not listening to your negative shit on ace week #im here im queer i can be fucking loud about it if i want to fuck you #anyways love you i need to go to bed lmao #aaa

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caedogeist-rights · 4 months

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(uhhh fuckin, wano act 2 spoilers, idk. i dont typically liveblog on tumblr. im at 943 rn.)

rarghhhhhhhh ok so. im not even done with the episode at this point but everything is going so bad for everyone except the strawhats, who are actively in battle so we'll fuckin see. the heart pirates... basil fucking hawkins i want his HEAD he's so fucking CRUEL and just... ugh the CRUELTY on display coming from kaido et al. kid and killer.... like... dude..... fucking KILLER..... i knew i recognized that face (from tumblr, not from the fascinating masked man) and just. oh g-d. oh that is the WORST thing. orochi and kaido steal your dignity and your pride and they are just... so fucking awful.

there's a theme all across one piece of luffy, freedom, vs. a controlling force trying to kill or control more. we know this. within this is luffy going against someone who controls others' specific actions, makes people do what they don't want to do. in thriller bark, dressrosa, and now in wano, (and also others but listen idr) the problem society faces is that someone is taking over their bodies. im putting a pin on connecting thriller bark to these two (short answer: its about someone changing how you're seen) but. i mean we know the connection between dressrosa and wano. we're all one piece fans here.

the POINT is. orochi and doflamingo and kaido and such are powerful people specifically in their ability to remove people's individual free will. doffy takes away movement and narrative/how one is perceived, orochi and kaido take away people's means of living (food) and means of expression (the fucking smile fruit). SMILE makes me so damn mad in a way that doffy's actions never quite did, because it is truly removing a person's... communication, essentially. the way they are seen and can connect with the world is, even if orochi and kaido are dead and gone, forever altered. they're always laughing, but the people fed SMILE who didn't get an animal are silenced. the truth of their lives is hidden and even if they try to explain anything, SMILE essentially scrambled the social signal to such an extent that the message can't go through properly. it's a terrifying thing, to not only be unable to express the emotions you want to, but to be wholly unable to express anything BUT joy. SMILE doesn't just make them laugh and smile, it- either directly or as a ripple effect/coping mechanism- changes how people talk about things, makes people sound optimistic, take things lightly, and overall reduce any weight to their words. they're seen as fools when all they are are victims with their mouths taped shut. and i fucking HATE it.

which brings me to killer.

im just seething with rage tbh. killer's identity has been shattered. the things he cares about have been removed. eating a SMILE, losing his mask- he lost his dignity and his pride and it just hurts to look at. he... has been changed to such a degree. they even changed his fucking name (i think??? at least like... the common name others use for him.) i want him to never smile again if thats what he wants.

AND ALSO THEYRE BEING TAUNTED AND TORTURED AND THATS JUST. REALLY FUCKING MEAN.

i see. now. why wano is like... very much so... of COURSE the place where luffy ends up. and i think. from what ive gathered on this here website. of course wano is where gear 5 happens. they NEED that freedom. luffy save me. luffy. save me luffy.

i have like... 140 episodes left of this arc? im emotional? things will progress to such an extent? one piece is good and wano is weird? prolonged laughter is very uncomfortable to listen to? wahoo.

#grin talk #now the question is whether or not i post this.#it isnt. a meta. to be clear. my metas are more thought out. this is a ramble and a cry for help (im fine but. the guys are Not)#i just like.... ugh this arc... is. whole cake didnt hit me but wano IS. im being AFFECTED.#its a ''shit gets real'' arc i suppose.#also uhhhh idk what to tag but if you're reading/watching OP and youre not at act 2 of wano kindly... step away from this post #but do come closer. i have other thoughts. the luffy leadership essay still needs to be written.#waugh

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murdaughter · 6 months

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important vanessa emily things below the cut

extreme tw for child death and child abuse given that em is the daughter of a serial killer and just in keeping with f.na.f lore

-so in my canon, vanessa's mother dies somewhat mysteriously when she's about six years old. i personally don't feel the need to expand upon the, like, where and how of it, but vanessa definitely saw something to incriminate william

-it was definitely something at night, where she was like groggy and confused and for that reason it's very easily written off by teachers, therapists, etc.

-vanessa tries to report what she saw but given that in her canon timeline it was the 1970s (she was born in 1973, making her around 27 at the time of the movie) no one took her very seriously. even in a contemporary timeline, the lack of evidence does her no favors

-things calm down, mainly because william realizes he cut it WAY too close. he also realizes he needs to regain vanessa's trust, especially as she gets older

-we'll say that vanessa was around 10 when freddy fazbear's pizza opened up (which would be a grand opening in 1983), and the murders happened around 1985 (which i believe is like canon to the timeline?? idk man)

-because it was a new business venture (and as vanessa would later learn, a trap) william spent most of his time there, which meant vanessa did too. it became an oasis. her dad seemed happy there, and all the staff liked her and looked out for her. nothing seemed wrong, so to her nothing was wrong

-while she still harbors an underlying fear of her father, he has been working very hard to erase it, and by the time fazbear's is open (i'm not including the diner in my canon bc i simply dont have the bandwidth ahh im sorry) vanessa has largely compartmentalized her fear of her father, considering it just like general teen angst

-but when the 1985 murders happen, vanessa is very, very aware

-i'm undecided on whether she witnessed them because this blog is still in its infancy and i need to do more research on ptsd in general but also like what van's trauma would look like specifically as the child of a murderer, etc

-but either way, vanessa knows about the murders within days of them happening (if not The day of) and william knows she knows

-he then becomes an extremely unstable presence in her life, alternating between manipulation, outright threats, and gaslighting. as a result, vanessa is extremely loyal to him and to freddy's out of sheer fear

-its rare that vanessa is at the pizzeria very late, but she has been there after hours and has encountered the animatronics when they are possessed by william's victims

-vanessa quickly figures out how to communicate with them. like we see in the movie, they aren't really violent unless provoked/under william's influence, especially when it comes to kids.

-it's not the healthiest thing, but vanessa actually develops relationships with the kids, and starts to take solace in them. sometimes, she regards them as siblings.

-the bite of 87 closes the place down right when vanessa is entering high school. she has a weird reputation because of it (she definitely goes from being somewhat popular among classmates just because she like has the hook up to like kind of a pariah just because people are freaked out)

-obviously the murders are never connected to afton but there are very likely rumors and that shit does come down on vanessa in school, especially once the place shuts down

-vanessa has a few outcast friends but again, there is a lot of fear that if she gets to involved william might hurt them too

-once she graduates, she goes to state school (idk if fnaf has a canon location but! i'll pick a state eventually probably) but she is very much under william's thumb the entire time

-william brings her into the fold once she graduates college, as he has learned that it's difficult to keep the security guards alive

-vanessa just straight up is not a cop. she's trained in first aid and knows how to use a gun, but this is all by william's design. all her gear is stolen and/or forged and she has had some close calls

-aside from still being deeply afraid for her life, vanessa is almost entirely dependent on william financially, and he does basically pay her as a full time employee keeping the guards in line, etc.

-vanessa has looked for ways out very frequently but often feels too afraid to pursue them or is otherwise intimidated out of it by her father.

-the events of the film go down in my canon as they go down in the movie

-vanessa eventually Does wake up from the coma, and as william is dead (that's right!! he's dead im not letting that bastard survive lol) the case gets opened up and all that

-im gonna look into whether or not she would go to jail for life lmao. realistically she totally might. even though vanessa is a victim of lifelong abuse and threats against her life she is still an accomplice to a lot of crime so? idk man

-BUT for convenience and rp's sake, vanessa undergoes the trial, faces public ridicule and vitriol, and eventually comes out the other side as emily laughlin. the legal name change doesn't protect her from all of the fallout of the pizzeria, but it does help)

-she becomes a barista and tries to keep her head down. shes dealing with a huge amount of trauma and is just generally all over the place, as she's never been given the opportunity to live her own life before.

-she definitely has a continuing relationship with mike (whether that's romantic or platonic is open to whatever) and of course abby, though they are probably her only links to Being Vanessa. i'm still deciding if the ghost kids remain, but i'm thinking with afton dead, they're able to pass on. which on one hand is beautiful, but it's also another loss for emily.

-all in all, emily is definitely very damaged from her ordeal, but at once is very eager to connect once she feels someone is trustworthy. her relationship with mike definitely has a lot to do with that, as he has proven to her that people Can Be trustworthy

-anyway that's my story and im sticking to it! pls love my baby i care her very much ok bye

#; about

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surplus-of-sarcasm · 7 months

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ive tried to write women so many times but have failed to the point theres barely any female characters in my stories. and im very aware this is a flaw in my writing because i dont hang around women often and the only long term contact with a female i have is with my family members i dont know how to write female characters on a personal level because i can never relate to them. this sucks ass but correct me if im wrong i think its better to not write female characters at all than write a shitty possibly offensive one even if i dont realize it

Hi.

Okay, here's my take on what you're saying. I know for a fact that the most difficult things to write are things/situations/environments we know so little about. And it's even harder to get it right when it's a more sensitive thing, if yk what I mean. A huge perspective shift like this is definitely a challenge because men and women are quite different.

Here's the thing. I'm not trying to pressure you into writing them, but I'm telling you that even if you have problems with them now, doesn't mean you have to give up on writing them completely. If not writing them at all is your final decision, then that's still okay, still your call in the end, but if you do want to write them, it's very possible.

I know I write both male and female characters, but the first time I ever officially wrote smth that wasn't for school, it was with a female protag because ultimately, I see the world from the eyes of a woman. When I decided to write a male character for a more serious project, I realised I needed to research it. And lemme tell you that again, not every piece of advice in a writing help article is always applicable. It's largely based on the author's own personal experiences. They're more like tips than rules you must adhere to.

Please note that I've spent considerable time around men I'm close to in my family, I had male classmates and currently have a friend who's a guy, so that definitely helps. And it's completely understandable that you haven't spent enough time around women to grasp more about them Ig. My male characters are not exactly copy-paste of these men/boys either, but some of their traits and mannerisms may be connected.

And you not relating to them is completely okay. I'm not very likely to relate to parts of my male character's life that come with him being a man, but what I can relate to is what makes him human. There is definitely an overlap in several traits between men and women. For example, the way I would feel angry abt smth would be different from how a guy Ik would feel angry about the same thing. The key is simply to avoid bad cliches.

Again, I'm not trying to get you to write them if you really don't want to. Forcing yourself to write smth you don't want to definitely won't help, and won't create good pieces of writing. But just in case you wish to in the future, you can practice and research and test it out, and fun fact, part of it involves a little bit of winging it. I've done this for like genres/ideas I haven't tried before, and surprisingly it actually works. But, tbf, it's a lot more difficult when the issue at hand is the opposite gender.

And answering your last question, while it doesn't mean you must give up completely and you will never be able to do it, I can agree that no representation is better than a poorly represented character. Though, there is a chance you might be too harsh on yourself, since Idk exactly what any female characters you've written are like.

And about my reblog on that post abt writing women, Ig it was more aimed at people who've never tried or misrepresent women by applying a crap ton of harmful stereotypes to them. You seem to have made a genuine effort, so that's a pretty good thing.

Sorry for the long post, and thank you for the ask.

#the little gremlin answers #ask #not writing #natalia.txt

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mongreldyke · 9 months

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ghost quartet asks because. yea. but not actually asks because im answering them anyway

1. Favorite character

probably soldier or roxie!

2. Favorite timeline

THATS SO HARD. soldier rose or the crossover of usher/subway timeline probably

3. Favorite song

Bad Men!

4. Favorite performer?

between gelsey and rose, gelsey can just do this the slightly offputting thing so well

5. Live album or recordrd album?

live. duh.

6. How much of the plot do you think you understand?

I've got it all at this point with my massive brain and the help of @cometzz, though i was never too interested in poe or arabian nights so i think a lot of the references flew over my head

7. Least favorite song/song u skip most often

i don't really have a least favorite but. Maybe tango dancer? which is the only song that isnt entirely to my musical tastes but i ike it still

8. Favorite non-sung/spoken line?

Will you dance with me? ... Okay :/ Do you remember a time before we were just sisters? Do you remember anything else? No. Not yet. But I'm getting there.

9. Favorite lyric

"I love the way you see the world, I love the way your soul sings, I wish that I could sing like you, I wish that I could feel things"

10. Do you have any ships for the show? If so what are they?

SOLDIERROSE HANDSDOWN. a soldier with a death wish and a rose who is scheming. match made in purgatory

11. What's your favorite non-confirmed theory?

erm... i dont actually know many of those. i think the soldier got the pot of honey from killing the bear but idk if that counts?

12. Have you produced any artwork/content for Ghost Quartet?

working on a soldier and rose fic o7

13. Which role would you most like to play?

Gelsey or Brent!

14. Which Usher song is your favorite?

uhhgh thats so hard. i say usher 3 just because. the end

15. The Starchild, Roxie, Rose, or Rose Red?

fuck! roxie, photgrapher!rose, or soldier!rose

16. Subway or the Photograph?

subway hands down

17. Four Friends or Any Kind of Dead Person?

fuck. uh any kind of dead person, only because brittain going "LIIIIOOONNNN" is so me

18. The Gelsey/Brittain dance in Monk or the Dave/Brittain dance in Midnight?

MONK????

19. The Astronomer or The Telescope

the telescope its so good

20. Fathers & Sons, or Lights Out?

Fathers & Sons music wise but lights out makes me so :(((

21. Tango Dancer or Hero?

Hero :]

22. How did you first get into Ghost Quartet

i got @cometzz into mabel and he was like YOUUUUU would like ghost quartet if you like mabel. and he was right

23. When did you first start listening?

literally like two weeks ago? not very long ago the brainrot just gripped me immediately

24. What's your favorite moment (musical or vocal) in the show?

the shrill scream-thing gelsey does in The Photograph

25. Are you going to/have u seen Ghost Quartet?

no :( one day...

26. What's your favorite bizarre connection in the show? (E.g., edgar telling the story of pearl and the pusher in usher pt 3, Shah Zaman becoming the Man In Iran in the Astronomer, etc)

i love shahzaman becoming the ghost seer a lot!

27. What moment would you love to see live/what moment did you love the most live?

I really wanna see usher 3 honestly

28. If you could ask Dave Malloy one question about the show, what would you ask?

�� i don't actually have any questions, i'm fine with my interpretation o7

29. Have you read either the fall of the house of usher or arabian nights?

nope. might read them at some point though

30. Have you read the show's Genius annotations? If so, what's your favorite annotation by Dave?

that one annotation in Bad Men about how one of the lines rose red screams at the astronomer is something from a breakup he had. i just think it'd be really funny to be the girl who broke up with dave malloy and then got your breakup argument put into a show about cycles and murdering your cheating boyfriend

31. What part of the show disturbs you the most?

im used to a lot more disturbing stuff i didn't really get offput or anything

32. What part of the show confuses you the most?

not too much a this point! even the esoteric or obscure parts i'm like. okay with? i'm fine with it being vague and weird

#ghost quartet #kace #cause i mentioned him

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my-lunaberg · 1 year

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I got sick and didnt feel like watching dsmp so I just watched a bunch of random movies I found on my german piracy site of choice for almost a week but now Im better and Im about to watch Eryns origin story and idk man, I just felt like sharing my thoughts about that guy so far

First of all, Im so curious about this concept of any dsmp character having an origin story bc its like. their origin story is that they showed up. thats it. Like yeah, a lot of people very obviously have histories going back to before they showed up on the smp but theyre never really elaborated upon. Niki and Wilbur would kill for eachother with no hesitation, no explaination needed, stuff like that

Also, Im curious about some of the demon lore we'll potentially get bc like, demons arent a thing in minecraft the way slimes or endermen are but Eryn said he is one and also actually confirmed that BBH is one as well (I think he did anyway, I know its been popular fanon for a while but I dont remember it being brought up in canon before he said it), so Im curious how theyre gonna be integrated. My prediction is that theyre basically just gonna be like, the nether-equivalent of humans. Like, in the overworld the humans (or player characters ig) are the only sapient creatures and in the nether its demons.

But thats general lore stuff, now I wanna talk about my guy Eryn !!!! :D

I like him so much and idek why. Hes just a fun guy a fun lil guy I love him :D

I guess the best way to describe it would be like, Im very charmed by him. I love that hes like, this edgy-lookin ninja guy who likes to cause trouble, hes really the chaotic teenage boy this server has been missing ever since every other teenage boy has either been horrifically traumatized or is Purpled. I also like that, despite him being this chaotic teen boy who does what he wants, he seems to very sincerely admire Eret and listens to them for some reason ?? I say 'for some reason' because Eret has kinda been old news for a long time, like the fact that theyre a king doesnt mean anything because actual governments just kinda stopped mattering to everyone except for Wilbur and Quackity, but that honestly just makes it more charming. Eryn and Erets entire dynamic is just so good idk why, but its so comfy and chill in a way where you can tell theyre still just aquaintances but its still so nice yknow. This kinda ties into my previous point as well, I really like how he put a shit ton of effort into getting good knight armor and honestly really wants to be a knight while also demonstrating that hes willing and able to like, steal shit from the prison

Another thing that I find really interesting is his complete and utter lack of connection or interaction with Dream. Like, he arrived after Dream had long been in prison and while he left an undeniable impact on literally everything in the server, no one really. talked about it? Eryn seemingly had to go out of his way to get any kind of information because when Dream was still locked up everyone was all like "welp, the big badscary villain man is gone, and we're all safe so we dont have to worry about him anymore and we'd rather not talk or think about him lest we spoil everyones good mood" and then when he escaped they were all like "oh no, we're already feeling so anxious and bad bc we dont know where he is so we'd rather not talk about him lest we make everyone feel even worse when everything is already so terrible". His mindset is that Dream hasnt harmed him personally and hes never really interacted with him so he doesnt really have an opinion on him, which is very interesting as well. On one hand, it seems a bit naive to think that way when literally everyone keeps telling him how horrible that guy is, but also, while none of the conflicts on the dream smp have ever been caused by mob mentality, they have certainly been exercabated by it, so i guess its better to have less of it

I do have mixed feelings about that though. I feel like I'd need to see Eryn interact with Dream in order to really form an opinion on that and I feel like they might actually do that. Like, Eryn is Tommys friend and I think if Dream somehow found out that he doesnt have any negative feelings towards him on the basis of "he hasnt harmed me personally", he would definitely try to exploit that and I think that could be really interesting. If that doesnt happen in canon I might write an AU about it, probably not straight up villain!Eryn but maybe leaning more towards chaotic neutral idk

#livebloggin dsmp #dream smp #c!eryn

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wishblown · 2 years

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When you die and go for judgement God will sit there and infinitely not say anything and you’ll do all the damning work yourself.

— Glen Duncan; The Last Werewolf

August Reads!

Kassandra by Christa Wolf — 4.75/5: Christa Wolf my beloved <3 idk if I liked this better than her Medea but I really did adore this one; such a good retelling/new interpretation (?) that doesn’t reframe Kassandra as simply a victim or a modern new-wave girlboss but a three dimensional human being, a person responding to her circumstances, a woman trapped in her times and condemned by a future she cannot help but see, it’s so good bc Wolf just gets it: she lets Kassandra be scared and selfish and ignorant bc she’s human but she’s also brave bc there’s no alternative; she sees, she has to

Voraussetzungen einer Erzählung: Kassandra by Christa Wolf — 4/5: companion piece to Wolf’s Kassandra that I read right afterwards; it’s a series of lectures and notes on the books and it’s conception which was really interesting to read after the novel; I learned a little about literary theory and more on the mythology behind Kassandra (didn’t know much about it before, shame on me) but also the feminist reading of these topics and Wolf’s intentions behind her text/how it came to be; there was also an essay on current affairs (now no longer ‘current’, it’s from the 80s, though I do think it still applies) which I read more than once because the connections Wolf made between contemporary politics, feminist theory, and Kassandra were incredibly interesting

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky — 4/5: my first Dostoevsky! and I’m really happy with it (and the German translation I got); I enjoyed the style of writing and the story arch/progression that let you explore the depth of the characters; I didn’t always love how he portrayed all his female characters (product of the time I guess) but overall his characters and the interactions between them really made this bc they were so flawed and had so much depth in their very human errors and attempts to make things right (for themselves at the very least); looking forward to reading another one!

Little Weirds by Jenny Slate — 4.75/5: such a lovely read and a breath of fresh air; her use of language felt so genuine in its simplicity yet in this simplicity she’s able to evoke such a range of emotions and depth; her metaphors and mantras never felt silly even when they were silly perhaps that ‘silliness’ or childlike way she would sometimes break things down with her big imagination even helped to bridge the gap to bigger, more ‘complex’ feelings she was talking about idk; I took so many notes; great read

The Last Werewolf by Glen Duncan — 3.5/5: this one kinda frustrated me because on the one hand it was written so beautifully with a compelling story and an interesting protagonist and I mean genuinely beautiful prose and heartfelt inner monologue of the protagonist but then oh boy the treatment of sex and sexuality and women in that kinda context just bothered me and eventually even began to annoy me. I get that the author was trying to put these things at odds and show the protagonist’s animalistic side and whatever but at a certain point I’ve read too many descriptions of what someone’s cunt and anus smell like or how much his cock reacts (not exaggerating), I got it yk? And it really took me out of the story a few times. Didn’t like the ending either; seemed very “a woman’s fate” to me idk, idk the women fit into a few specific roles and it icked me out a little sometimes — you could just tell it was written by a man i guess. but then it was also so good!!! I’m conflicted

Justiz (The Execution of Justice) by Friedrich Dürrenmatt — 4/5: I feel like you either like Dürrenmatt or you don’t? I fall into the former category and I did like this one as well, though I’m not sure if it’s my favourite. I like simply like his style, the mix of dry Swiss humour and social commentary + character study, he often does. Justiz is an interesting read bc the entire time you know what happened, you know who’s the murderer, but you also already know that the judicial system has failed. So what else is this about? What game is being played? Ofc there are issues with Dürrenmatt (sexism much, antiziganism too) so you gotta read critically but that’s the case with anything I think.

#reading diary #storygraph #lit #read in 2022 #readblr #booklr #bookblr #me #mine #books

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eldritchmochi · 7 months

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Ask game: U (three faves from three fandoms and why)

thank u for including the question and not just the letter so i can answer this on mobile with a lap full of catte

1) from cr, ashton. hes got it all: my pronouns, my personality, my problems..... but the bits of myself i see in them are the bits i like, like the aggressive mother henning and the awareness of who/what is or is not a good target for venting frustrations (even if some of his coping skills are uh. not great). add in the chronic migraines and chronic (nerve?????) pain/other related impact trauma pain and im just like this one is M I N E sorry tal

2) kylo ren, from the star wars st. i can never tell if i like kylo or hux better because i find both of them really interesting to write, however, hux is interesting because even after three movies (and several comics) hes largely still a ghost where we dont really know a ton about him or his motivations, so hes really fun to flesh out. kylo otoh, we know (slightly) more about and his base fucked-up-ness is interesting to build off and make aa. functional lmao, both in a "this character is well written" way and a "this persons personality could feasibly exist" way. in cannon, i find him to be a really interesting portrayal of how even coming from a loving family with all the available resources doesnt mean shit if youve got a (literal) voice in your head influencing you towards a dark path. hes also a pretty recognizable portrayal of how being groomed for something can really fuck you up. NOT that i think either of these reads are true to text or intentional on the behalf of the directors/didney, there is no way that nuance was baked in BUT it is why i connected with him so hard (ask me about my kylo shelves..... but not right now i still have bits to put in there i just cant reach very well bc my ac is in front of it lmao)

3) bucky barnes, both mcu and comics. okay so, i liked bucky in the first avenger I thought he was a great match for steve both personality wise and in looks 10/10 no notes seb stan as bucky could ask me for a dance and id join him on the floor (i dont dance). then the winter solider came out and this is the only mcu movie i actually bought and have watched more than a couple of times, for a hot minute it was my bed time movie because i just love everything about seb stan as the winter soldier that man knocked it out of the park and also in hindsight my LUST for the beef of him there really foreshadowed how much im enjoying my body on t lmao. the mcu bucky is also a bit of a ghost and i haven't read a ton of his comics (and i borrowed them from the library so idek which ones ive even read rip), but its been like idk eight years since i watched tws and i can still very clearly see that bit in the first big fight where hes murder walking towards the camera inspiring fearousal in all who witness him and im STILL like "gender"

i should really cosplay him ive got the hair

pls send me more letters off this ask meme linked here so that i can not be more bls i am starved for attention

#mochi rambles #mochi asks #duerme07

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moving-wright-along · 2 years

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(Idk if you've done this before but) Hi I was wondering If you could please give me some X-virus/Cody Hc? Also I love reading your blog...

I’ve done some cody headcanons before, but theyre really old so heres new ones. also this ask was sent SO LONG AGO AND IM SO SORRY LOL

💉Cody Rogers💉

-Don’t let his hardcore, mean facade fool you. Cody is always longing for affection and companionship, but he puts up barriers and blocks it out when it’s offered to him. His adoptive father thinking he was a monster and rejecting his interests really messed him up, so he’s slow to trust now.

-He’s a solitary creature of his own creation. And while he’ll struggle to admit it, he craves intimacy and connection so bad.

-Personally I like to think that him and Toby are twins separated at birth. I also think he changed his name back to Rogers after moving into the manor. He’s really happy to have a family again.

-They have absolutely no idea why they were separated. Toby joked once that Cody was so ugly out the womb that they got rid of him. Cody just punched him and pointed out that they have the exact same face.

-They're completely identical except for eye color. Cody's eyes are green, while Toby's are brown.

-Cody has noticed that Toby has a difficult time looking him in the eye, but seemingly doesn’t have the same problem with anyone else. It’s only after he sees a picture of her that he realizes its because his eyes are the same color as Lyra’s.

-Toby tells him a lot about Lyra. It makes him sad to think about, that he had a sister he never got to meet. He daydreams sometimes about how their lives would be different if they’d been raised together. Maybe life wouldn’t suck so bad if they’d had each other.

-Also mad that he never got a chance to sock it to their piece of shit father before Toby killed him. He would've liked to smack the fucker with his bat for hurting his siblings. Too late now, though, and he's at least content that the man got what was coming to him.

-Aside from his brother, I think he gets along best with EJ in the mansion. They bond over mad science and crimes against humanity.

-He likes Jane too, and while they aren’t super close, he’s had some pleasant conversations with her. Jane mainly likes him because he’s one of the only people in this manor capable of being civil. And because he annoys the shit out of Jeff and she’s all for that.

-Cody can’t stand Jeff. Ben wouldn’t be so bad either if he didn’t get roped into Jeff’s shit so much. Cody mainly hates him because Jeff is an asshole who doesn’t really care about other people or their feelings. He doesn’t care much for bullies. Jeff also has a bad habit of picking on Toby specifically, which pretty much immediately lands him on Cody’s shit list.

-As for Masky and Hoodie... He doesn’t really know what to make of those two, honestly. Both proxies are close with Toby, the three of them having a strong brotherly bond. It makes him feel like an outsider, which only makes Masky or Hoodie’s attempts to get close to him feel fake- like they’re only doing it because of his brother.

-Which... isn’t entirely wrong. At least at first. Masky and Hoodie first assume that because they’re twins that they’ll be really similar. They’re a bit shocked to then find that Cody is practically his twin’s opposite. Neither of them really know how to interact with him because of that.

-Needless to say, Cody keeps his distance.

-Masky and Hoodie try to get Cody involved but he just doesn’t seem interested. Toby is the only person that can convince Cody to hang out or participate with the others, but even then it’s a 50-50 chance.

-Even when he is convinced to engage in group activities he doesn’t usually stick around very long. His social battery drains fast and he hits a point where he needs to be alone for a while.

-Because of his loner nature he usually gets sent on missions by himself, rather than with a group, which he doesn’t mind at all.

-Cody keeps to himself and is pretty quiet. He’s also smart and sensible, which makes him an instant favorite of Slender’s. However this just makes it easier for him to fuck with people because he hides all his mischief behind that innocent face.

-Constantly torturing Jeff and the best part is no one can ever prove it’s him. Everyone knows of course, but they can’t prove it.

-Him and Toby fight a lot. Not like disagreement fighting- no, they actually get along really well. Like fist-fighting. They’ll be totally fine one minute and the next they’re just decking each other. Toby always wins though cause Cody’s kinda weak and Toby does a lot more physical training than he does. It’s all in good fun though :o)

-They're both actually really protective of each other. Cody defends Toby from Jeff or whoever else tries to mess with him and Toby defends Cody from anyone who tries to get him riled up (jeff). They're like two guard dogs guarding each other.

-In a weird way, fighting his brother is a good way for Cody to release pent up anger and aggression because Toby can't feel it. Boy has pent up anger issues like you wouldn't believe. He tries to keep himself calm but it's really easy to set him off.

-He’s the type that’s usually really quiet but every once in a while he murmurs some insanely hilarious quip that just destroys everyone.

-He has a bunch of piercings and he did them all himself. He also has a stick and poke, but its just a little operator symbol on his bicep. He would do more but he doesn’t really know what to give himself. Refuses to give Toby a tattoo no matter how much the other begs. Ever since Toby found out he has a tattoo and that he did it himself he hasn’t heard the end of it.

-Outside of his own bedroom, he spends a lot of time in the manor’s library. Him and EJ will sit at the same table and read for hours and not say a single word to one another. They love it.

-Always finds a way to make himself scarce when the pastas have any kind of game night. He has horrible luck and he absolutely sucks at any and every type of game, from monopoly to mario kart. He refuses to be humiliated.

-He’s actually really sweet when he starts to open up. He’s really observant, which means he’s really thoughtful when he wants to be.

-I feel like he stares into the middle distance a lot. Like “are you guys seeing this shit?” kind of staring, like he’s looking into a camera. Or that ben affleck meme.

#cody #cody rogers #cody rogers x reader #x virus #x-virus #x-virus creepypasta

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teeterarting · 3 years

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here's a list of things i love about PSMD for no reason other than i think it deserves appreciation (spoilers)

the hero gets adopted by a nuzleaf. Hero, a young child that doesn't know why they were brought into this world, attacked by beheeyem, scared and alone, finds someone that takes them under his wing and gives them a home. it's really sweet that once Nuzleaf brings them to the Village, Hero's not alone anymore.

yes it was all a trick, he deceived you. but being betrayed by your father figure hits so much harder. it's much more personal, especially when both Hero and Partner are kids. and when Nuzleaf goes through all that ordeal in the post game, then gets accepted back into the village?? And his little speech to Hero????? it's heartbreaking and incredibly touching at the same time

everything is just so cute!!!! you go to school with your new friendo and you're friends with the schoolkids, and you make the trip to school every morning taking in the scenery, the smell of dew and fresh grass, and the sun on your face... and you take classes about Mystery Dungeon mechanics, and principal Simipour is a big BRO, the school nurse Audino is super kind and helpful... and you get to play with your pokemon friendos in summer vacation, and explore a dungeon with 'em... AND your bond with your Partner begins to form, getting stronger and stronger from then on. PSMD's beginning arc is so warm and pleasant, it's like reliving childhood memories all over again, when things were happier and you didn't have to worry about how cruel the world is. this story section's one purpose is to get the player used to the game's mechanics, as well as foreshadowing. unfortunately most of the school kids get forgotten later on, but I still love this part for everything it is, even if unintentional.

it's not just the beginning that's cute. PSMD'S ENTIRE WORLD IS ADORABLE. It's just filled with life every town you go. there are a bunch of pokemon locals and they all have interesting things to say, in the main story and the post-game. there's a point where their comments get repetitive, but that's bound to happen in any PMD game. Even then, the days are never the same. one morning you wake up and the Lively Town locals are exercising, then the next they're having singing lessons, and then they're practicing martial arts. and you get to connect with (or recruit) some of them just by.... chatting!!! Sitting next to that big ol' venusaur and sharing stories, laughing and having fun. it's good stuff.

Sometimes you find travelling pokemon in dungeons and it's jsut the coolest thing. Imagine you're exploring a dungeon, then your Connection Orb notifies you there's a fellow explorer in the floor. First thing you do is try to find them, and when you do - oh dang a travelling Archeops!!!! And then they just,,,, exchange their experiences and thoughts on exploration and how hard it is to fend off those enemies and the cool treasure they found the other day (the game calls it "[Team Name] and [Traveller pokemon] compared notes"). then the traveller heals you, fills your belly and restores your PP. and they go on their way. idk man it's such a cute interaction. explorers chatting, empathizing and helping each other, bc their job is not an easy one...

PSMD Partner is the most developed Partner in any PMD game yet. They start off as this naive, hyperactive kiddo, then stuff happens, and worse stuff happens, and you get to see how they grow and change and by the end they're a different person than they were before (in more than one way ...). It's just so nice to be by their side, from the beginning to the bitter end, and watch their growth. in contrast, Hero is a little unbalanced in that their backstory is not explored as much, and their personality is kind of a blank - probs meant to be vague so the player can be in their shoes. to me this just gives you the opportunity to shape their character however you want, so you can have tons of different hero/pardner dynamics.

The music is rlly flippin' good. Some of the tracks are recycled from previous entries, but when they go original??? it's a blast!!! "Echoes of the Mystical Forest" is one of my favorites in all four entries, it has no right being so amazing for a random dungeon. "Time to Set Out" makes me cry immediately (also i think it would be a better fit for the parting ways scene at the end...). Don't even get me started on "Second Dark Matter Battle", it has everything an epic climax needs and MORE. the Partner remix????? absolute genius

speaking of which, Dark Matter ITSELF,, is freaking amazing. Its actions were foreshadowed in the very beginning, though they were not blatant through the game. i do think they could have done a better job at showing the pokemon's negativity raising in the world, as well as negative feelings in the characters... but it's not like Gates did a good job at it, either (outside of cutscenes, all the locals in Post Town are incredibly nice to you and fights didn't "break out often". it's like the game tells you the world is a dark place, but what it shows in gameplay doesn't add up). so i'll cut them some slack. Still, I find Dark Matter a more compelling villain than the Bittercold for several reasons. it is sentient. its speech is a jumbled amount of voices all talking at the same time - the anguished voices of the world. It actually concocted a plan to hurl the planet into the Sun, using pawns like Nuzleaf and Yveltal to do its dirty job. in the Voidlands, Hero and Partner discover its past, and how it'll come back after defeat, like a cycle. when Partner accepts Dark Matter, they accept negative feelings as something everyone has within themselves. Most of all, the fact that Dark Matter is a manifestation of negative feelings doesn't make it just a generic threat, a final obstacle to be defeated so the world can be saved. It makes Dark Matter - negativity itself - a natural part of the world, the yin to its yang. and that's why I LOVE IT SO MUCH DANG IT EVEN THANKS PARTNER FOR THEIR ACCEPTANCE

The fact that Dark Matter can possess pokemon that have "even the smallest amount of darkness in their hearts". it makes me think of Mr. Nuzleaf and what he might have gone through in the past to make him so easy to be controlled. Did he hold a grudge against someone?? Did he commit a crime?? Had Nuzleaf always been malicious???? And if so, is this why he shows so much remorse in the post-game??????? because he had always been this vile fiend and then he met this small kid and got attached, but still carried on with his evil actions because his malice was still stronger than the positive feelings and Dark Matter's hold on him intensified?????? I don't know!!!! and as much as i wish the game could have given us that sweet mr. Nuzleaf backstory, it's pretty fun to have freedom to come up with your own version.

Everything about Super's climax is just phenomenal. Every single flippin' legendary is there to help you. Arceus is in the game. MEWTWO IS THERE. and when things are looking hopeless, they really seem hopeless. First the Tree of Life is dying, then your allies get turned into stone and sent to hell The Voidlands, Arceus gets turned into stone, the entire world is stone (except for several mon' that are still safe and holding onto hope, but they're so few). Your Harmony Scarves stop working and you and your Partner are back to your feeble, basic stage forms. You are bordering exhaustion, you have no Emeras, it's just you and your Partner against an eldritch abomination that's killing the life on the entire planet like a parasite, devouring all hope. but you still fight back. Given how adults in the game always discourage the village children from going adventuring, that they cannot do this or that because they're so little and fragile, it's awesome how Hero and Partner beat Dark Matter as tiny kids.

PSMD is not a flawless game. in fact there's plenty of things that hold it back and i even mentioned some... but it's still full of love put into it and it resonates w me more than PMD Explorers of T/D/S and Gates to Infinity (Rescue Team is a close second). its my all-time favorite PMD game.

#pmd #pokemon mystery dungeon #psmd #pokemon super mystery dungeon #Teeter rambles #long post

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fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years

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A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.”

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.�� He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #jennifer jareau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

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