#WITHOUT fear of consequence
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*bracing myself on my knees and trying to breath, nursing a cramp*
I got here as fast as I can. I just wanted to point out that THIS…
Is one of the gayest fucking lines of television I’ve heard in my life.
Even if the presence of the song itself somehow wasn’t a flashing spotlight enough, the literal voice of God directly draws attention to it. Telling us that in universe, a nightingale really is in fact singing in Barkley square, and to know its music is sweet regardless of if we can hear it. Just like there are really in fact angels (one fallen but we’ll let it slide) dining at the ritz, and they’ve been falling in love regardless of if they’ve been allowed to openly pursue that feeling.
And hell, maybe it’s BECAUSE of the traffic that the nightingale finally sings. Perhaps it wasn’t ready until it was sure no one else could listen.
#couldn't get this across but God's tone of voice on but it was there... is SO telling#there's such a cheekiness to it#part of leaving the garden means leaving that surveillance#being able to make free choices and do so PRIVATELY#WITHOUT fear of consequence#something beautiful and rare is happening at that table#and it's now NONE of heaven or hell's damn business#good omens#ineffable husbands#Crowley#aziraphale#season 1#a nightingale sang in Barkley square#episode 6#1x06#biceratops#meta#analysis
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[does something somewhat banally and whimsically unconventional for the simple fact its not illegal and wont hurt anyone] a chorus of angels who were all fantastically online in 2017 chimes out OMG THEYRE LITERALLY A FAE
#i was on some fucking tyoutube short where some guy was talking about meeting jeff goldblume#who was doing jeff goldbloom stuff#and saw a 'wow im convinced hes a trickester fairy just doing a human job'#and something in my head just sort of Pinged#i think everyones capacity for seeing someone do some mildly unconventional shit without fear of consequence#makes them act. really weird about that guy#it happens a lot with celebrities bc theh actually possess the social capital to do weird shit#and just come off as charming and eccentric and not offputting#but uh its just a me thing ive always just kind of hated being called a fae or whatever as a compliment#like. this behavior isnt inhuman! it is being done by a human you just arent used to it!
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that moment when you realise Helena Eagan has never experienced freedom the way Helly R has
#“I am a person. you are not” ok but she gets to make her own choices#ok but she has never sacrificed for a father who only loves her when shes useful#ok but she knows what she wants and she goes for it without fear of judgement or consequence#ok but you can chain her body but her spirit remains unbroken. can you say the same?#severance#severance season 2#severance s2#helena eagan#helly r#nuclear war speaks
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Something I think about way too often as I'm working on some fanfic stuff is how little we know about the religious figures in The Dragon Prince.
Katolis has Lady Justice, something of a religious symbol given the Priestess we see but we hardly see many of them aside from The High Cleric, Opeli.
Duren meanwhile has The Goddess of Harvest, and it seems they have a theocracy given they belive the Royal Line is chosen by their Goddess but we never hear or see mention of her in the show.
The other kingdoms have no references to gods or religious figures as far as I can remember but I feel it is safe to assume that they do have them so the question is what figures would they worship?
#jelly tarts#my instincts go for the other four virtue figures since lady justice is there so i think it would go:#Del Bar: Goddess of Courage. forbearance. strength. endurance. fortitude. dedication and ability to confront fear uncertainty and intimatio#Neolandia: Lord of Temperance. restraint. the practice of self-control. abstention. discretion. and moderation tempering the appetition#Everne: the ability to discern the appropriate course of action to be taken with consideration of potential consequences; cautiousness#but it would mean Duren is the only kingdom without a Virtue symbolism so i dunno#Del Bar could also worship a god of the hunt and Neolandia a god of trade and Everne a god of wisdom#the dragon prince
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...
#i dont think im a bad person. i dont think i behave in ways that are especially terrible. i dont hate myself. but i do believe i deserve to#suffer. and im not sure how to align those incongruent ideas. its hard to articulate because a lot of my rigidity stems from restrictions#without cause. i don't do things for a specific reason. im not afraid that if dont do specific things it will cause bad things to happen. i#behave in specific ways because thats what i have to do. thats just the way it is. without reason. without cause. like im getting dictates#from some higher power. a lot of my restrictive behaviors manifest in a sort of religious way. not in a religious trauma way. the church i#grew up in was all love thy neighbor and not fire and brimstone. its more that this rigid views is deeply and profoundly rooted in how i#belive i need to behave. i behave imperfectly. i make mistakes. and there has to be a consequence. i have to suffer. and thats just how it#is. like preying for forgiveness or committing self flagellation. i repent through self punishment. and when i try to imagine why i do this#all i can think about is being a little kid. praying before i went to bed. not aloud. the prayers i kept silent. that nobody would get sick#and die. that all the kids in childrens hospitals would get better and that nothing bad would ever happen to anyone. i had a pretty idealic#childhood. it was stable and my parents loved me a lot. i was never really bullied in school. my family was comfortably middle class without#money troubles. and i guess i find that difficult to contend with because i didnt do anything to deserve that. it was just luck. and why#should i have that when other ppl dont? but random things dont happen to you because you did something to warrent them. thats not how the#world works. so maybe im seeking to balance the scale. maybe im trying to pay for my good luck because it makes more sense that way.#sins must be punished and good fortune must be paid for. but only for me. i am an isolated entity controlled by an angry god.#and again. i dont hate myself or thing im a bad person. it only seems fair and correct that i should suffer. thats just how it is.#and how do you classify that? its a rigid worldview that sprauls out into restructions and compulsions. a lens warped from through#existential fear? the rot from which 0cd manifested? a set of restrictions born of aut1sm? i dunno. it doesnt really matter but i try to#classify anyway. maybe it doesnt fit neatly into one box. so it goes.#just stupid bullshit im being forced to deal with now that im basically in triple therapy lol#unrelated
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it does something incomprehensible to my little writer’s soul whenever alex articulates a phenomenon of the writing process i’ve always picked up on and then goes on to describe it in exactly the same way
#when i first heard him say this when i was watching the interview i legit had to pause the video for a moment#because it was like he’d actually taken my words straight out of my mouth#literally for years i’ve been fascinated by the little timeless pocket between dusk and dawn where there’s so much freedom#to explore creativity uninhibited and unobserved and without fear of consequence#the way it allows you to create things almost as if they don’t really exist#or like the rest of the world doesn’t#and the magic of that freedom#like if you create things on the cusp of dreams it’s almost as if they don’t count#they’re liberated from any usual self doubt or self criticism that invades the imaginative space during the daylight#why am i making myself sound like a creative vampire 😭#i’m going to stop rambling in the tags now sorry#i fear absolutely none of this makes sense#kudos to anyone who’s read the whole way through this#the gist of what i’m trying to say is that it’s such a special feeling when someone whose writing you adore and connect to so much#puts into words elements of the process that have always resonated with you#and this is just one example too#right i’m going to stop rambling now#but one last thing before i go#on a more superficial note: can we appreciate how softly spoken and soft fluffy haired he is here?? 🥺#alex turner#humbug era#arctic monkeys#alex vid#lulu posts
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searching up “anti silco” to read analysis and coming across jilco is a real vibe killer
#houndshowlings#fuck u mean it’s up to interpretation?#i get their relationship is strange & there’s no boundaries & silco enables jinx (likely out of fear of losing her just like he manipulates#her)#but i thought it was clear their relationship was father/daughter#even if jinx is adopted & never calls silco her father directly#like yes the writers purposely made it uncomfortable#but it was to subvert expectations.#many feared Silco was sexually grooming her bc their weird interactions#but it was to subvert tht fear#while still showing how he grooms her to be his weapon#and yet is far too permissive with her.#he doesn’t discipline her and allows her to get away without consequences when she fucks up.#he encourages her to be fearless and strong#yet at the same time isolates her and shields her from criticism & consequences#which encourages her codependency on him and her need for his approval#both r afraid of abandonment and betrayal#silco is trying to foster a ‘us vs them’ mentality in jinx so she won’t leave#which means not doing anything like a proper parent should bc snapping at her or punishing her too much could push her away from him#which he doesn’t want#so of course he allows her to do what she wants#and this has instilled in jinx a disregard for privacy and boundaries#pls the straddling & invasion of space was to show they’re relationship is fucked#but not in that way
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Got work in 30 mins
#taskmaster fanart#what if I gave into my desires and make cringy fanart on the internet again without the fear of consequence#gee wouldn’t that be something#it’d be just like being 13 again#dibb's doodles#still getting used to this ‘posting’ thing the young’ns do sometimes
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Oh my god elias pouting and grumbling all the way whenever he has to have a work trip. "I forgot my heart shaped pancake molds!!" "It really doesn't matter elias" "shut up peter you don't know shit" looking longingly out the window like......... I miss london...... Its too hot/cold/dry in here
LITERALLY. also i am going to make this about jonah being an extension of the institute once again. literally removing the heart from the body. he gets seasick he gets homesick he starts crying and refuses to do anything. you cannot take this man away from his institute!! he will die!!!
#hello welcome to the tags where i tell you how i really feel#jonah attached to the institute by choice suffering everytime he's forced to leave#vs. lena chained to oiar by force. tied to it by violence and fear. unable to leave at all.#also. jonah literally founded the institute. created it. of course he's a part of ir#and it's a part of him#the two can't be seperated without consequences.#tma#the magnus archives#tma headcanons#jonah magnus#elias bouchard
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The Genshin_Romance subreddit is honestly one of the funniest places on Genshin related reddit. Like I'm used to Tumblr and Ao3 being so incredibly gay, that being recommended that subreddit in my feed, a place where gay ships aren't allowed, is such a culture shock. The best part is that there are 14k members and they all have literally the worst and most boring taste in heterosexual ships like I think the funniest one is Wriothesley x Clorinde.
#rambles#why are heterosexual people so boring? 😭😭#it's an illness i swear#and i am saying this as someone that doesnt read for bl/gl like....#it's like these people do not know how to do heterosexual ships *well*#like xiao x ganyu? diluc x eula? amber x razor?? kazuha x beidou??????#THAT'S SO SAD. YOU LIKE THAT???#the rare interesting ship are too far and in between#that being said lisa x dottore i would read. and ayaka x scaramouche was interesting#BUT STILL MAN#if there is one thing tho i do respect the straights for carving out a little niche for them on the internet#banning gay ships is a very brave thing to do#straight ships deserve a place where they can exist without getting insulted or buried under gay ship art#that being said#not having any other input has created a community where they the lowest standards whatsoever for ships#i mean wriothesley and clorinde?#that's so sad that you think that's good man.....#the fact that diluc x jean is one of the highest frequency ships on that subreddit is proof they have the saddest taste#the taylor swift of genshin het ships#the ship with just as much flavor as oatmeal#and then mona x scaramouche#like i get diluc x jean but how does mona x scaramouche still have relevance after THIS LONG#lisa x dottore is such a based ship tho#i would totally read that#academically speaking they are opposites#one embraced knowledge and the pursuit of it and willingly let it turn him into a monster#the other ran away from knowledge after digging too deep and becoming chained to the consequences#fear vs acceptance#except where the former is usually seem as bad and the latter seen as good it's the opposite#if you want to take it a step further it could be piety (religious fear) vs blasphemy
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decided to play the heirs of fate dlc this weekend (ive been meaning to for awhile; admittedly my knowledge of it all comes from browsing the wiki, and i really wanted to experience the anankos characterization for myself). this isn't even the part i was excited to get to BUT I AM REELING OVER IT..........FOR REASONS I WILL DISCLOSE IN THE TAGS (from part iv: light's sacrifice)
#during shigure's explanation about why there's gaps in the kids' memories my brain IMMEDIATELY flipped to krad's post about whether --#gunter actually remembers how much he loved his family/is the revenge really for them or is it more so for his own satisfaction --#and like. OH MY GOD. IS IT NOT SO UTTERLY CRUEL THAT PERHAPS THE TRANSITION OF HIS REVENGE BEING FOR THEM ---> BEING SO FOR HIM WAS IN --#FACT BY ANANKOS' DESIGN ALL ALONG RATHER THAN JUST AN UNFORTUNATE SIDE EFFECT OF THE POSSESSION..........#gunter honey you may have been more under his thrall than you realized#this would totally align with how he's only able to tell corrin about his family once he's free from the possession. cuz anankos is no --#longer deliberately stealing his memories to make him more willing to act on his behalf.......ough........#of course i still think gunter purposefully indulged in that power from anankos.......latching onto it as an opportunity to exact his --#revenge without really being aware of all the consequences that would coincidence along with that#and of course this is just a lil tidbit for my own self insert lore but if anankos stealing memories is a thing he purposefully does to --#make his victims more malleable that would explain why he would not remember his time in askr or leigh upon returning to the world of --#revelation :''''') and perhaps it would slowly come back to him post game#teehee. having many thoughts. brain exploding. typical behaviour.#once again fates storytelling is fucking exceptional like is it not brilliant that the degenerating dragon who has lived among his people -#far longer than one likely should. and has been scorn by those ppl he so loved as now their memories of him are only full of fear and --#hatred. ends up stealing people's memories to make them more useful in his plan to destroy the world. much like how his own memories have -#been lost to time. and he is a victim to time just like anybody else. OUGH AAAAA MY HEART MY BRAIN IM SO SAD ABOUT FATES AGAIN.#anyways i still gotta play part 5 of the dlc but im saving that for either tonight or tmrw
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gabriel would call icarus 'bird' as a petname by the way . if you even care
#icarus prime#icariel#+minor variants such as 'my dear bird' / 'my darling bird' etc etc#because he's disgustingly saccharine like that#god . violent sun wont end in a way that allows for a sequel but sometimes i really wish it would#so that they can reach a point where gabriel can just be a sappy fuck without fear or consequence
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girlies how do I stop having a work ethic that's severely detrimental to my mental health
#I need to learn how to slack off without fearing the consequences for fucking real#I keep choosing to do overtime knowing full well I hate it#what am I trying to prove. what am I doing this for
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my version of William is uh. a bit different than most people portray him. The thing is, he genuinely believes that he's a good person, the hero of this story.
But hes really just a textbook example of a 'the ends justify the means' type mentality. He knows what he's doing is wrong. That his actions would be inexcusable under normal circumstances, but hes gotten it into his head that what he's working towards is worth it. He doesn't care what he has to do, he will bring Her back. He doesn't care if She never forgives him. If Henry never forgives him. As long as all of his people are alive and accounted for and can never leave him again, he doesn't give a flying fuck what he has to do to achieve that.
He has bore witness to death so many times in his life, has seen how it takes and takes and takes, and decided that no. No, he is not simply going to forget and move on, not this time, not ever again.
He is going to show them all. Show them they they don't have to live like this, enslaved to entropy, imprisoned in bodies that begin to rot from the moment they are born.
And when he is done, he will have created a world where the very act of dying is a thing of the past. Where death itself is just another disease that humanity has overcome and eradicated.
So to him, it truly does not matter how many have to die, or how many lifetimes it takes, he will succeed.
After all, when he's finally cracked it, he plans on reviving his many, many donors victims. It's the least he could do, after all they've done to help him achieve his goals. After all they did were forced to do for him.
#the mental gymnastics william does to justify his own actions to himself are insaannee#he thinks that because he plans on 'putting them all back together' when he figures out how to means that hes allowed to kill as many peopl#as he wants without consequence. without guilt. without admitting to himself that hes an awful person. thats hes become exactly what he#used to fear and hate about the world and the people in it. If bill circa 1960's could see what he eventually becomes hed kill himself then#and there.#william afton#henry emily#clarissa schmidt afton#mrs. afton#silverdunesau#fnaf
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chat im really starting to fear that spiderman 4 wont have peter be nearly as sad as i need him to be. nothing at all has happened to indicate that but i just got a bad feeling. im almost completely expecting disappointment atp im just like mj fr
#sorry spideryapping again i cant help it. its in my brain again#saw on tiktok that black cat will be in it and my first reaction was NOOOOOOOOOOOOO bc i just love mj too much im not ready#but also black cat was at the top of my theories. bc it makes so much sense. so i SHOULD be optimistic if theyre thinking the way I think#like. it would cheapen the weight of the last movie if they completely undid the consequences. so they have to be apart for at least 1 movie#and mj and ned are supposed to be in boston at mit so idk how they could be in the plot anyways#and like. black cat makes so much sense bc the whole reason their relationship doesnt work is cuz she likes spiderman not peter#and thats so good for spiderman 4 bc now nobody remembers peter. and also black cat hasnt had any live action appearance yet#AND she comes on really strong so its literally the perfect setup for her#like. itd be weird if peter went looking for a love interest cuz he should be sad but it makes sense that black cat comes onto him#and he needs to meet a new cast beyond his high school friends it makes sense. but mj is endgame always im manifesting it she WILL be back#like black cat being there just suggests all the right directions. they arent immediately undoing the last movie#and theyre introducing more spiderman characters rather than spiderman villains and an obligatory mcu babysitter yk#SO ITS GOOD BUT. FEEL LIKE PURE SHIT JUST WANT MJ BACK#i wanna speed thru the necessary plot without mj to get back to her. mj my beloved#but slso besides all that even if black cat is a good sign. i still fear they wont make him sad enough. i fear the sadness will be offscreen#also i just think its rlly funny. that right when i got into spiderman again after YEARS#i was thinking abt more movies and was like. i think im happy if they stop. idek if i wanna see this peter without his buddies#his story moving forward has to be without them at least for a bit to do his character justice. but i dont need to see it#and then right after i settled on that opinion. BREAKING after 3 years new movie is coming. after i said i didnt want it#ironic (<- palpatine voice)#x
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I just watched that s7 episode where Rose, Dorothy and Sophia will have to move out if Blanche doesn't make them co-owners of the house and oh.... oh my god. I knew Blanche's grand gesture would hit hard, but Dorothy's talk to Rose before then?? Giving her an excuse for why she has to say, only to shrug that off and softly tell her the truth ("we love you") and proceeding to tell the permit guy that they're family!! They love each other so much & they can't be separated!! Rose's face throughout the whole thing!! It's so much
#i fear this borders on making no sense but OHH the LOVE they have for each other#it's so so clear and they acknowledge it too???#out loud?? to a stranger?? ;-;#i will say this episode was made at least 10x more painful with the knowledge of how it's all going to end in ±20 episodes#blanche makes the girls co-owners because she trusts they'll stay together forever#because the thought of parting with them is even worse than the thought of losing (part of the) ownership of her house!!#she places full trust in her girls because she loves them even more than this place that holds memories of george#& because she trusts them to treat that part of her life (and their life together) with respect#and then dorothy ends up leaving#i just-#i CAN'T#blanche selling that house to them *legally* bound their lives and futures together#they signed a contract!! excuse me for making the comparison but what isn't marriage if not a love recognised legally!!#(it's a religious thing too i know. but these were the 90s! marriage was becoming more and more of a tax benefit lol)#and uh#they signed that contract to get to *live together* without consequences#because they love each other and can't bear to be separated! they're a family!!#and then dorothy leaves?? yeah no i'm FINE#(side note but rose made a comment about having to sleep on top of each other#and by her very serious 'it's fine! we all wear pyjamas!' i'm inclined to believe they do in fact share a bed frequently)#the golden girls#anyway off to bed now#i had to write this down before i exploded sjfjdj
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