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#Washing the Disciples' Feet
helloparkerrose · 2 months
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Throughout His roughly three-year ministry, Jesus frequently demonstrated the extraordinary humility and servant leadership He expected His followers to emulate. One of the more well-known models of the sacrificial love He taught is found during His final evening with the disciples when...
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godheadjones · 1 year
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ANOTHER PARALLEL
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upstatechristian · 2 years
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Through the Bible in One Year
Through the Bible in One Year
Day 156 John 13:1-17 The second half of John’s Gospel (13:1-21:25) is often called the “Book of Glory.”  It divides into three main sections: Jesus’ farewell discourse (13-17); Jesus’ passion—that is his arrest, trial and crucifixion (18-19); and Jesus’ resurrection appearances (20-21).  In the farewell discourse, Jesus spent the evening before his arrest sharing his final teachings with his…
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ainsi-soit-il · 11 months
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A while back on my main I’d tagged a post with #dying for your wife does not solely mean 'if it came down to it i would lay down my life for her' #most often it means stuff like setting the table and loading the dishwasher
Since then I’ve been thinking more about the idea of dying to self in the mundane, and reflecting on it, every moment of Jesus’ life was dying to Himself for the sake of His Bride.
There are points in the Gospels where this is abundantly clear. The one I heard about the most in Sunday School as a kid was about Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. Fulton Sheen wrote about how humbling Christ’s baptism and circumcision must have been, how Jesus was “circumcised, as if His nature were sinful” and “He was baptized, although He had no need of purification.”
But as important as these moments are, I can’t help but think about Jesus dying to Himself as He washed someone’s dishes.
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thewordfortheday · 3 months
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Our Lord Jesus Christ commanded His disciples to “love one another,” because “by this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).
As a believer in Christ, your Heavenly Father says to you, "Be nice to your neighbour. . ."  Our human tendency shouts, "No! I don't want to! He isn't treating me right.  Still your Heavenly Father says, "Be kind to one another." In fact, He goes a step further to say, "Love one another as I have loved you."  And when you ask, "Why?" He replies, "So others will see that you follow Me."
God-kind of love expects nothing in return. That was what Jesus showed to His disciples when He “poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet”  That is the kind of love He displayed when He went to the cross for us.
The love of Christ in the lives of believers is what sets them apart from the world. 
Today, look for someone to whom you can show such unselfish love.
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wangxianficrecs · 4 days
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💙 Preparing the Soil by Rynne
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💙 Preparing the Soil
by Rynne (@rynne)
T, 26k, Wangxian
Part of the LWJ Birthday Serenade - Mini Bang
Summary: When Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian return to spend the first winter after their marriage in the Cloud Recesses, Wangji is forced to grapple with his uncle's resistance to accepting his new husband fully into the clan. At the heart of this conflict is Lan Qiren's rule forbidding talking to Wei Wuxian. How can Wangji make the Cloud Recesses a more welcoming place for his husband when what he fights now is his uncle's stubbornness? Kay's comments: As much as I love the ending of the novel with Wangxian having their happy ending, I always struggle a bit with picturing them living their best lives in Gusu, especially with Lan Qiren still around and Lan Xichen being in seclusion for some time. This story takes a good look at the "Talking to Wei Wuxian is Forbidden" rule of the Gusu Lan Sect and Lan Qiren's relationship with both Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. He improving, but it's an uphill battle. Luckily, Lan Xichen is supportive. Really love this story, it feels true to the characters and optimistic in a realistic way. Excerpt: Stunned, Wangji could only stare at his uncle for a long moment. He had thought his uncle was resigned to Wei Ying's presence, especially after everything that was revealed during Jin Guangyao's downfall. He had not realized Lan Qiren was still angry at Wei Ying. A wave of reciprocal anger washed through Wangji, and he clenched his hands briefly on his thighs before he abruptly stood. "Then I will not trouble Shufu further," he said, hearing the tightness in his own voice. He bowed, as shortly as he could make himself, before he turned on his heel and left, feeling his uncle's stare against his back. He did not break the rule about running in the Cloud Recesses, but his stride was swift and his demeanor hard enough to cause more than one disciple to duck out of his way. His hands kept clenching until he forced his fingers loose and open. Out of habit, his feet turned towards the rabbit meadow. Before he took more than a few steps, though, he recalled that he had another option to help him let go of his anger. By the time he reached the Jingshi, his temper dissipated a little. He stopped in front of the door, taking several deep breaths to calm down further. He did not want to bring anger into the home he shared with Wei Ying.
pov lan wangji, post-canon, established relationship, family feels, lan family feels, gusu lan sect rules, uncle-nephew relationship, chinese holidays, birthdays, good kid lan sizhui, married lan wangji/wei wuxian, soft lan wangji/wei wuxian, good sibling lan xichen, lan qiren tries, not jiang cheng friendly, music
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
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lionofchaeronea · 2 months
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Christ Washing the Disciples' Feet, Benvenuto Tisi, ca. 1520-1525
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rabbitprayer · 6 months
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Jesus Washing the Feet of his Disciples by Albert Edelfelt
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thecuriousquest · 6 months
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Demon Siblings
Request: Yandere older brother Muzan with prompt D1? (love ur fics btw!!)
Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @chickennugnugnug @palesweetscherryblossom
Prompt Request: “This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
Warnings: Yandere themes, delusions, slapping, Muzan uses his demon powers to punish you, reader tried to escape, blood, injured reader, Reader is a demon
Master List
Yandere Alphabet Prompt List
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Even though he says it hurts him, he doesn’t quite show it. That expression on his face is constantly neutral unless he’s lashing out in anger. It’s unnerving, especially to be on the receiving end of it, to endure his wrath.
Being a demon is one thing. Being the little sister of Muzan Kibutsuji is a whole different story. His punishments are vile, extreme, cruel, and he always tells you the same thing every time he lights your blood of fire with flames so hot they feel white.
“This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
But his tone is ice cold and calm, deadly like the venom dripping from the fangs of a snake. He glares at you with crimson irises, watching you intently as you writhe on the floor in front of him, beneath him.
You reach out for him. “B-Brother!” It’s all you can scream on an exhale. You can barely manage a singular breath.
Gripping the hem of his pants right at his ankle, you clutch his limb like it’s a lifeline. Salty pearls invade your cheeks, clinging to your damp lashes, but you haven’t the ability to cry. The pain is too much to even be able to wail.
You don’t even recall how you were able to shout for him.
The pain stops suddenly. You curl up in a ball on your side, hugging your knees, shaking violently.
Muzan crouches down, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Does my little sister still think she can go outside the castle against my orders?”
Feeling a fresh wave of defiance wash over you, you turn to glare at him instead of revering him with timid eyes.
“You say it hurts you worse, but I don’t think that’s true. I think…I think you don’t care if you hurt me, and you’re only saying that to make me feel guilty.”
“It seems you haven’t learned your lesson yet. It also looks like you’ve forgotten your place.”
An echo sounds throughout the castle, a sharp crack against your cheek, turning your head to the side. Then, you feel that same pain again, focused on your back this time. It’s overwhelming, and you feel whip-like cuts embedded in your skin.
“Muzan, I won’t leave anymore! Stop it! Brother, please?! End this! I’m begging you!”
How you regret being bold enough to say those things to him. You know better, yet for a singular second, you let all of that go to speak to him with a sharp tongue. You wanted him to know how much pain he causes you, but he’ll never know, he’ll never truly understand no matter how hard you try to convey it.
“Brother!”
You cross your arms over your chest, hugging yourself as you curl even further into a ball. The sensation in your back is growing even worse. The power your brother wields is unfathomably special, and you know that he won’t stop until his anger is satisfied. That could be minutes, hours, days, weeks from now. You never know with him, as fickle as a cat, as unpredictable as his many disciples.
Lying in a pool of vermillion, your chest heaves with heavy breaths as your glassy eyes scan upwards. You study him, the twitch upon his lips as he considers your broken form, his narrowed orbs casting a look of scrutiny upon you.
You both can’t look away from one another until he finally holds you by your arms, helping you to your feet. You take in your blood-soaked kimono with a suffering sob and wipe your eyes free of the salty rivers welling up and cascading down your cheeks.
“Don’t ever tell me I don’t care about my younger sister.” He places a soft kiss on your forehead. “Otherwise, I’ll have to show you the lengths I’m willing to go to just to prove it. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
Shaking your head quickly, you know exactly what he’s talking about. More discipline. Muzan equates discipline with love, keeping you in line shows how much he cares about you.
“No, Brother, I do not wish it.”
“Very well, then. Let me see your back.”
You turn to him, and he sees that your back hasn’t started healing yet. He has no worries, knowing that the cuts will be closed within the next few minutes. He traces one large gash through the back of your open kimono with a finger, eliciting a sharp hiss and vocal cry from you.
“You’ll be fine shortly. Go find something to do now, something that won’t anger me.”
“Yes, Brother.”
So you disappear to your room and hide away for the time being.
All of that pain in your body, and he barely even touched you. A slap across your face was the only physical torment from him. It was his true power which tortured you into submission.
You shake your head.
I’ll never be able to escape him.
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choerrypuffs · 2 years
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fast times.
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pairing: co-worker!donghyuck x reader
genre: fluff, slight angst
word count: 7.6k
synopsis: throughout the snapshots of your life, lee donghyuck is always there. (or, you realize that you’re in love with the bane of your existence.)
author’s note: i started grad school and it’s literally eating me alive so i wanted to write something short and sweet to de-stress and then it ended up being almost 8k words 😭
warning(s): excessive drinking, family tension
playlist: fast times by sabrina carpenter ― the bottom by gracie abrams ―  stress by taeyeon ― ruin my life by zara larsson ― cruel summer by taylor swift 
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ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022  sun’s up too soon like daylight savings, mixed emotions are congregating 
Liquid courage, as the poets say.
Well, don’t fact check that, but surely Wordsworth or Coleridge or whichever poet that Taylor Swift talks about in the lakes mentioned something about getting shitfaced during a St. Patrick’s Day office party.
Regardless, you’re going to pretend like they did because it’s a lot less romantic (lowercase r, not capital like the movement) if you’re just drunk off your ass at an office party without an artsy-fartsy literary reference to back you up.
You’re one too many shots of tequila deep, swaying to the shitty techno music that someone is blasting from their pretentious Spotify playlist while stumbling past the office cubicles, including yours and He Who Shall Not Be Named’s, on your wobbly trip to the bathroom.
Despite the copious amounts of alcohol in your system, the remaining coherent part of your brain is sounding the alarms that you’re probably going to throw up soon. You wish that part of your brain would just shut the hell up because you don’t want to think rationally right now.
You don’t want to think about He Who Shall Not Be Named and how he’s in love with your best friend. You don’t want to think about how his eyes found her the moment she walked into the office, how his gaze melted into a pool of honey, his head swiveling towards every direction she went like a stupid bobblehead. Not that you blame him; everyone is in love with Karina. It’s not his fault, but you’re mad at him anyways.
Ugh, see? You’re thinking about him again.
Anyways, you’re also grateful for that part of your brain because the poets definitely do not write about spewing chunks in front of your co-workers. You just want to hurl in peace and wallow in your misery with the porcelain toilet bowl by your side.
The poets probably wrote about that.
You finally make it to the hall where the bathrooms are, having steady yourself against the wall as you make your way down because walking in a straight line has become a luxury. However, you only get about five steps (at least you think it’s five, numbers are hard) when someone grabs your arm. You don’t even realize your legs are in the process of buckling until there’s a pair of hands supporting your waist to keep you upright.
“Jesus, Y/N,” someone breathes in relief, exhaling loudly.
You’d recognize that condescending tone anywhere.
He Who Shall Not Be Named carefully leans you against the wall, one hand still on your waist while the other removes the bottle of Jack Daniels that you didn’t even know you were clinging onto from the nook of your arm. With one smooth motion, he tosses the bottle into the trashcan and doesn’t even flinch when the bottle very audibly shatters inside.
“I know you’re a loyal worshiper of mine, but just Y/N is fine,” you slur, not sounding nearly as cool as you’d hope, “though it’d be pretty fucking funny if you washed my feet.”
He huffs and pauses, like he’s debating on whether or not he should say what he wants to say next. And because he’s a piece of shit, he says it:
“For the record, Jesus washed his disciples’ feet. Not the other way around.”
You groan, shoving him hard. He barely budges, so most of the force in your shove kicks back to you. Feeling yourself tip forward, you grab his shoulders out of instinct to avoid busting your head open against the hard tile. In the process, your forehead slams into his chest, and he lets out a soft grunt. His hands grip your elbows, fingertips warm against your even warmer skin.
“I hate you,” you sniffle, burying your face in his shirt. He smells exactly like a fluffy towel that just came out of the dryer. “You’re tactless and you never let me win and you have shitty taste in movies.”
“And you’re drunk,” he replies nonchalantly, “Why do you drink so much when you’re such a lightweight?”
“You don’t deserve Karina,” you continue angrily.
He actually laughs at that. “Okay, young lady. I’m going to drive you home now. Come on.”
You lift your head so fast that you nearly slam it into his jaw; luckily, he sees it coming and steps back before you can knock his teeth out.
“Don’t,” you hiss, poking his chest. “I don’t want you to drive me home. Don’t drive me home unless…”
He raises an eyebrow. “Unless what?”
“Pretty boys can never be trusted,” you hiccup.
“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but let’s continue this discussion when you’ve sobered up,” he sighs, crossing his arms. “And when you are sober and realize that you don’t want to talk about this anymore, like I suspect you’ll do, I’ll even pretend like this conversation never happened because I am a gentleman.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?” you whisper blearily.
You’re wearing a green t-shirt that has “Kiss me, I’m Irish” plastered across the chest in big, bold white letters. You borrowed it from Karina when you realized you didn’t have any green in your closet. Of course, only Karina would look good in something like this, but you really didn’t want to be pinched the entire night. Someone had plastered four-leaf clover stickers all over your face, though you’re not sure how many of them are still on at this point. Your makeup should be intact since you haven’t been sweating, even if you probably have mascara residue under your eyes. You’ve certainly looked better, but this definitely isn’t the worst state you’ve been in.
It’s a stupid question though, really. No matter how pretty you are, he’s already chosen Karina.
When you glance back up at him, he looks like one of those cartoon characters that have two perfect red circles on their cheeks when they blush.
You haven’t seen him this flustered in a long time. He’s always had this smug, impenetrable mask of an expression that you want to punch off his face―like he’s constantly one step ahead of you in something.
You want to take out your phone and take a picture of his expression so badly.
Instead, you hunch over and throw up on his expensive shoes.
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VALENTINE’S DAY 2018 my feelings used to be serrated, but you speak in such a perfect cadence
Pretty boys should never be trusted.
That is your ultimate mantra in life.
Especially pretty boys that claim to be “nerdy.” The ones that smell nice and aren’t misogynistic but also like games and anime and know how to code. The ones that wear indie band t-shirts and actually enjoy the band but don't care if you wear the same t-shirt just because you like the aesthetic. The ones that wear rings on their fingers and metal-rimmed glasses on the tip of their noses.
The ones that other girls would claim were “written by women.”
It’s all a trap.
If anything, they’re worse than the obnoxious frat boy chads. At least those are straightforward about what they want. Nerdy pretty boys are professional manipulators, meticulously slicing your heart into thin little pieces to use as a garnish for their own ego.
So when the new intern swaggers into the office, hands tucked into the pockets of his designer slacks, your Pretty Boy senses start to tingle.
He’s wearing a crisp white button-up (not a band tee since he’s at work), and he’s got rings on his fingers and metal-rimmed glasses right on the tip of his nose. His hair is a little curly and falls into his eyes in that messy but charming look. He’s got a round face and pouty lips, looking just sweet enough to disarm someone.
After he walks in, the CEO of the company follows, and now everything makes sense.
“Everyone, this is my grandson, Donghyuck,” Mr. Lee explains, smiling warmly.
Nepo baby, you realize, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.
“I want you all to know he won’t be getting any special treatment,” Mr. Lee says firmly, “He will have to work his way from the bottom, just like everyone else.”
Right, that’s why you’re personally introducing him to us, you think wryly.
After receiving a load of ass kissing from the employees, Mr. Lee finally leaves, and your team leader points Donghyuck to the empty cubicle right next to yours. He strolls over with an ease as if he owns the building (he technically does) and takes a seat. He smiles at you, though it reads as more of a smirk than a good-natured smile.
“Hi, I’m Donghyuck.”
When he looks at you, he does so with his whole body. His lanky frame is completely angled towards you as he unabashedly drinks in your side profile with his mischievous, twinkly eyes. The way he stares at you with such intrigue makes you jittery, and you keep your line of sight glued to your computer screen, refusing to indulge him even through your peripheral.
He’s deploying his Pretty Boy tactics, you warn.
“I know,” you snap back. You don’t mean to come off that aggressively, but you just know he’s trouble. In an attempt to remedy your curt response, you softly tack on, “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You don’t like me very much, do you?” Donghyuck asks, the quirked grin on his face growing.
You blink in surprise. You were not expecting him to say it so straightforwardly. “I…just met you.”
“You’re not answering the question.” He tilts his head, though he doesn’t seem particularly bothered by it. Rather, he probably already knows the answer.
You’re not sure what to say to that, and Donghyuck doesn’t try to continue the conversation either. Instead, he begins to unpack his stuff and set up his work space. When he turns on his personal laptop, you see League of Legends downloaded onto it.
Yikes.
Like the standard pretty boy, he starts hanging up an indie band poster, along with some anime ones you don’t recognize and―a Twilight poster.
Your eyes nearly pop out of your head when you see it. Men, even the pretty boys who are trying to make themselves as appealing to girls as possible, rarely ever admit to watching, much less enjoying, Twilight.
Okay, so maybe your Pretty Boy tingle got one thing wrong, but it doesn’t change the fact that he checks most of the Pretty Boy boxes―
“Are you Team Edward or Jacob?” Donghyuck asks, an amused smile tugging at his lips.
You have no one else to blame but yourself for snooping, but you still grow hot from your face to the tips of your ears and all the way down your neck.
“I’m Team Charlie,” you reply breezily, sounding pretty calm for someone who’s screaming on the inside.
His eyebrows slightly raise, and he just laughs quietly to himself.
You relish in that tiny victory.
.
.
.
As it turns out, Donghyuck is an extremely fast learner.
And despite being a nepo baby, he puts his money where his mouth is. He picks things up extremely quickly and utilizes everything he has learned efficiently. In fact, he’s doing so well that he’s starting to threaten your position as the office’s favorite intern.
And of course, on today of all days, you fuck up.
Another intern messed up the report, and you somehow overlooked it while you were checking. However, the responsibility falls on your shoulders because it was your job to make sure the report was correct. You get viciously chewed out by your team leader, and you’re guaranteed to have to work overtime to fix everything.
Ultimately, it is your mistake, and you’re not disputing that; you just know that you’re being made an example of so the office can look good in front of the CEO’s grandson.
So, while everyone is gathering their stuff to leave, you’re the only one still at your cubicle, fingers clicking away on the keyboard. Your eyelids are already starting to droop, despite the fact that you have at least a couple hours left of work. Giving yourself a couple of smacks on the cheeks, you try to shake away the brain fog and keep going.
You’re so immersed that you almost don’t notice Donghyuck set down a cup of coffee on your desk.
“I bought two for myself, but I think you need it more than me,” he admits, actually seeming a little sympathetic.
“Thanks,” you say, a little wary but still appreciative. You’re too tired to even question his motives.
He gives you a wave before leaving. Once he’s gone, you turn back to your computer and start to work again. You nearly forget about the coffee until you pause to take a big stretch, noticing it in your peripheral. Picking it up, you notice there’s a message scrawled on it.
happy valentine’s day! maybe i’ll grow on you :)
You smile, but only a little bit. Only because he’s a little cute.
When you finally take a sip, you nearly spit it all over your computer screen.
It’s so bitter that it sends a shudder throughout your whole body. You start to cough, feeling like even a single drop of that coffee getting in your system is going to make your short circuit. You’re not even sure if this poison could be considered black coffee. It might be actual black tar. Frantically digging through your drawers to find some candy or gum to offset the bitterness, you begin to curse Donghyuck in your head.
When you finally find a half-melted caramel cube and pop it into your mouth, it occurs to you that Donghyuck didn’t even have a cup of coffee in his hands even though he said he bought two.
“That asshole,” you whisper.
Cracking your knuckles and rolling your neck, you start to type again with a renewed vigor, thinking of all the ways you were going to make Donghyuck pay to power you through the rest of the night.
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ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022  sun’s up too soon like daylight savings, mixed emotions are congregating
You’re not sure how He Who Shall Not Be Named manages to clean himself up and wrangle you into his car in such a short timespan, but he does it. Most of it is a blur to you, though you do recall him throwing you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying you through the parking garage after you started trying to fistfight him.
Now, you’re leaning your head against the cool window, watching all the buildings whizz by, as he drives in silence. Well, not complete silence. Music is being softly played on the radio. It’s that stupid indie band he likes, and you hate that you know exactly what song it is. You remember it from last time.
I’ve only been in his car twice, including now, you think groggily to yourself.
He must really like this song.
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APRIL FOOLS 2019 three stories up here contemplating, but what the fuck is patience?
“Is this some sort of sick April Fools’ joke?” you demand.
“Come on, Y/N. Surely, you don’t think a prank of mine would be this lame,” Donghyuck retorts, offended.
The two of you are fighting again. At this point, it’s a daily occurrence in the office. In fact, Karina likes to say that the official work day doesn’t really start until you and Donghyuck start going at each other’s throats. You feel bad that everyone has to constantly deal with your bickering, but Donghyuck asks for it every time.
“You can’t just take someone else’s client,” you say through gritted teeth, wanting to smack that insufferable look right off his face.
“I didn’t take anything,” he corrects haughtily, “I was assigned your client, who is now my client. Take it up with the team leader.”
“The team leader would suck a fart out of your ass if you asked him to,” you hiss back.
He shrugs like you have a point.
“Fine,” you snap, grabbing your bag. “I’ll go talk to my client myself. I’ll get them to request to be transferred back to me.”
Before marching out, you grab the coffee on your desk and down it all in one go. It’s been sitting there for a couple hours, so it’s ice cold. The cold temperature in combination with the extreme bitterness is just the right mixture to light a fire in you.
Unfortunately, that fire is dimmed when you step foot outside and realize it’s thunderstorming heavily. The wind howls so piercingly that it almost hurts your ears, and the onslaught of rain is so strong that you can barely see the cars on the streets. You weigh your options: you have no car, there’s no way you can wait for a bus, and there sure as hell aren’t going to be any available taxis.
Just as you begrudgingly decide to do the walk of shame back into the office and wait out the storm, you hear a loud honk and see an obnoxiously red Ferrari pull up. The tinted window rolls down, and you find yourself staring at nepo baby Lee Donghyuck.
“Need a ride?” he shouts over the pouring rain.
“Not with you!” you holler back, turning to go back inside.
“Are you really going to wait it out?” he teases. “Their office closes in twenty minutes.”
You want to keep walking and ignore him, but your traitorous feet plant themselves on the concrete and refuse to let you take another step.
“Thanks for the new client, I guess!” he continues in a sing-song voice. A car behind him beeps, and you hear his window roll back up as he slowly starts to drive away.
“Damn it,” you mutter. Not giving yourself to think, you whirl around and dash out into the rain. Luckily, he decided to leave at a snail’s pace, so you have time to fling his car door open and slip inside.
Even though you were only in the rain for a few seconds, you’re soaked to the bone. Your pants make a squish noise when you settle yourself into his expensive leather seat. You want to make a joke about ruining his seats, but your teeth are chattering too hard for you to even speak.
Donghyuck reaches over and turns your seat warmer on before also blasting the heater. Your thin blouse has become see-through, and you awkwardly cross your arms over your chest, hoping he hasn’t noticed. Unfortunately, he has noticed, judging by the way he loudly clears his throat and reaches into the backseat to give you his hoodie.
“Thank you,” you say quietly, pulling it over your head before slipping your arms through. The sleeves are too long, so you roll them up to your wrists. His hoodie smells like fabric softener.
“No problem.” His voice cracks.
Neither of you say anything after that, only the sound of the rain pitter-pattering against his car filling in the silence. Eventually, he turns on the radio.
It’s a song you don’t recognize, but you deduce it’s from one of his indie bands when he starts humming along. You’re not even sure he’s aware that he’s doing it, though you don’t really mind. He’s not a bad singer, and you actually enjoy the song.
The two of you spend the remainder of the drive just listening to music, neither of you really feeling the need to speak. It’s a calm, comfortable silence―something that you never thought would be achievable between you and him. Rather, you wish you had more moments like this.
By the time you arrive at your client’s office, the rain has stopped. You assume he’s going to leave after dropping you off because it’s not raining anymore, and especially since the meeting ends up lasting way past the office’s closing, but you see his Ferrari still there when you come back out.
Walking over to him, you knock on the window.
“You didn’t have to wait up,” you say when he rolls it down, slightly touched.
“You have my hoodie,” Donghyuck states plainly.
Well, there goes the moment. You can always count on him to say something to piss you off.
“Right.” Rolling your eyes, you start to take off the hoodie in the street.
“I’m just kidding, Y/N,” he grins, “Come on.”
You let out a small huff, even though you’re smiling too, and you climb in. He turns the radio on again, and the two of you fall back into the ambiance. It occurs to you that Donghyuck’s car smells overwhelmingly like rain and leather and him. When you cross your arms, the scent of the fresh fabric softener from his hoodie wafts back up to you. You feel warm―the kind of warmth that blooms in the pit of your stomach and then melts throughout your body, like when you take a sip of hot chocolate on a cold day.
“How was it?” he finally asks after the song ends.
“Who do you think I am?” you scoff. “Of course I got them back.”
He smiles, and it makes you feel proud.
“You can tell the team leader to suck the fart out of my ass,” you retort.
This gets a laugh from him before he hesitantly adds, “I really didn’t want to take your client.”
You’ve never heard him sound so serious and so…vulnerable before. He says it with a slight desperation, like he doesn’t think you’ll believe him.
“I know.”
And much to your own surprise, you do know.
Now that’s a sick April Fools’ joke.
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ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022 sun’s up too soon like daylight savings, mixed emotions are congregating 
“You don’t deserve Karina,” you mumble, coming in and out of sleep.
He Who Shall Not Be Named laughs again at that, though he sounds a lot more exhausted. “Why do you keep saying that?”
“Don’t think I didn’t see it,” you slur. “You were making those stupid moon eyes at her all night long. Looking like some lovesick puppy. Gross.”
He laughs for a second time, but there’s not a hint of humor in it.
What if it had been me, you want to ask him.
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NEW YEARS EVE 2019 tiptoeing past so many stages, but what the fuck is patience? 
You’re not sure what possessed Mr. Lee, probably the fact that his grandson works for the company, but he randomly announced one day that the entire office was getting an all expenses paid trip to a fancy ski resort as a New Years present. Needless to say, everyone was absolutely ecstatic.
But you should’ve known something was going to go wrong when Karina suggested that the two of you leave the bunny slope and move straight into the advanced slope, despite the fact that neither of you have ever skied in your lives until now.
You’d like to think that Karina’s sudden bravery was due to the adrenaline of being on such a luxurious trip. You’re going to blame your lack of judgment on the adrenaline rush as well because you actually agreed to it.
Of course, things derailed almost immediately and literally because the two of you ended up veering off the course due to your lack of steering abilities and somehow found yourselves in a random, remote wooded area off the edge of the slope. Karina also twisted her ankle after landing incorrectly, so there’s that too.
Oh, and there’s a snowstorm.
Well, it’s not really a snowstorm. It’s more of a flurry, but it’s terrifying nonetheless because of your current situation. Karina can barely move, and neither of you have any clue where you are nor do you have any sort of communication device since you left it all at the resort. It’s not like you can leave Karina by herself to get help either. You can really only hope that someone finds you before the frostbite starts settling.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Karina sniffles, her nose redder than Rudolph’s.
You hug her tightly, both to comfort her and to keep the two of you as warm as possible. “Stop crying, you’re going to dehydrate yourself. You can apologize when we get out of here.”
She chokes back a sob.
You want to cry too, but you bite down on your lower lip and just cling onto Karina harder.
“Damn, and I was finally going to follow through with my New Year's resolution of fixing my sleep schedule,” you joke, voice trembling.
Karina laughs weakly at that too. “You say that every year.”
“I know,” you admit sheepishly, “but I really am going to this time. I need to make sure I’m in tip-top condition because there’s no way in hell I’m letting Lee Donghyuck get that promotion over me.”
That’s right, you tell yourself. I can’t die here. Not before that dumbass.
You’re not sure why you’re suddenly thinking about him again, but it makes you feel a lot less scared when you picture his dumb smirk and that sly glint in his eyes when he’s gearing up to say something to piss you off. He always knows which buttons to press on the exact wrong day to press them.
You kind of wish he was here now. He would probably be cracking stupid jokes and distracting you―
“Y/N!”
Blinking the snowflakes out of your eyes, you squint past the sheet of snow and tall trees, trying to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You see a blurry figure running towards you and Karina, the beam of their flashlight peeking through the darkness. When did the sun start setting?
Speak of the pretty boy, and he shall come, you suppose, because Lee Donghyuck is suddenly kneeling in front of you.
The smug look he always dons is wiped clean from his face, instead, his eyes are wide like two saucers and his hands are trembling. You can feel how tightly he’s clutching your arms even through the thick material of your parka. His hair is damp against his forehead; whether it’s from snow or sweat or both, you’re not sure. His face is flushed, and his nose is red like Karina’s, but you want to reach out and boop it for some reason. You can see his labored breath come out in white puffs due to the temperature.
“I found them!” Donghyuck calls out, turning behind him. A couple of your other colleagues emerge from the trees, all holding flashlights. Then, he reverts his attention back to you. His face is all furrowed up, like he isn’t sure whether to be mad at you for being reckless or collapse with relief.
“Are you hurt?” he eventually asks, voice strained as he helps you to your feet. He brushes the snow out of your hair and lifts your ski goggles from your eyes, scanning your face.
“Karina twisted her ankle,” you reply numbly, unable to feel your lips.
He glances over at Karina, who’s being helped by your other co-workers, before looking at you again. “Are you hurt?”
You shake your head.
Donghyuck exhales loudly, and you watch his shoulders relax. Then he says, “What the hell were you thinking?”
You flinch at his sharp tone. He’s never raised his voice at you before. You’ve always been the one yelling at him.  
“You can’t even drive a car, so what on Earth possessed you to try and ski on the advanced slope?” he continues to reprimand you. “What’s the point in being this smart if you’re not going to use common sense―”
You burst into tears.
You cry for many reasons: the sheer terror you’d been trying to keep at bay finally catches up to you, you’re grateful to be alive, you’re upset that Donghyuck is scolding you, you’re happy that Donghyuck is scolding you, and most of all, you know he’s right. He’s right, and you’re glad he’s right. You’re glad that he’s standing in front of you.
“You’re such a dick,” you wail, “I can’t believe you’re yelling at me when I almost died. Why can’t you just comfort me like a normal human with empathy?”
Donghyuck grows quiet, and you see his expression soften. Sighing, he reaches over and swipes the tears from your face. When you sniffle, he takes his expensive cashmere scarf and wipes your nose with it. He doesn’t even blink at the snot on it as he cups your frozen cheeks with his gloved hands. Grinning evilly, he squishes your face together, a mush of tears, snot, and puffiness.
“I’ve never wanted you more,” he teases.
“I’m going to kill you,” you grumble, shoving his hands away. Though you do find solace in the fact that he’s making fun of you again.
Your colleagues call the two of you over for help, and you make your way to Karina, who’s still unable to get up.
“Hyuck, do you mind carrying her back to the resort?” One of them asks, their hands too full with Karina’s skis and their own emergency supplies that they brought.
Donghyuck hesitates for a moment, his eyes inadvertently flashing towards you, before he kneels down and turns his back to Karina as he prepares to give her a piggy-back ride.
“I’m heavy,” Karina warns as she carefully climbs on.
“Don’t worry, I do five pushups a week,” he replies breezily, and despite his joking, he stands to his feet without a problem.
She laughs at that, sounding like an angel descending from the heavens.
He adjusts her thighs in his arms slightly, pausing to ask, “That didn’t hurt your ankle, did it?”
She shakes her head, and he says something else that makes her laugh again.
It’s not that you’re jealous that he’s carrying Karina. After all, she’s injured, so it would be a bit obnoxious to be upset over something that isn’t anyone’s fault. And it’s not like you’re any more special to him than Karina.
No, this feeling isn’t jealousy. It’s…uncertainty.
You’re uncertain that he would do the same for you if you were in Karina’s position. Has he ever reassured you with such ease like he did with her? Has he ever treated you like you were made of glass? Has he ever spoken to you so tenderly like that?
You suddenly feel so cold.
Three.
When you get back to the resort, there’s an ambulance waiting to take you and Karina to the hospital for a checkup. You try to tell everyone that you don’t need to go to the hospital, but your colleagues, Karina, and the paramedics insist on you doing so.
“Your glove is torn.”
Before you can even register his words, Donghyuck is holding your hand and flipping your palm over. The fabric of your right glove is ripped, exposing the tip of your pointer finger. You must’ve scraped it against something in the middle of all the chaos because there’s some dried blood caked around your nail.
“You should go,” he says softly, giving your hand an encouraging squeeze before letting go.
Once Karina is properly settled on the gurney, you’re ushered into the ambulance after her. As the doors close behind you, you catch Donghyuck’s eyes one last time. You don’t get to see what his expression is because you look away almost immediately, focusing your gaze on your finger.
Now that the adrenaline has worn off, it does sting a little.
Two.
.
.
.
Once the hospital finally discharges you and Karina in the middle of the night, the two of you call an Uber back to the resort and clumsily stumble up to your room like two people that just came home after a long night of partying, completely exhausted.
You’re so busy fumbling with your room key and nearly miss the gift that someone has set in front of your door. Picking it up, you realize it’s one of those hot chocolate sets that come with a cute little mug and are wrapped in holographic plastic. There’s also a separate bag of marshmallows beside it.
You don’t really examine it that much, simply handing it off to Karina.
“Looks like you’ve got a secret admirer.”
One.
Karina doesn’t notice the note tucked into the holographic plastic until she’s hobbling to the trashcan to throw it away.
happy new year! maybe i’ll grow on you :)
She turns to you to ask you about it, but you’re already tucked in bed fast asleep. Shrugging, she crumples the note up and tosses it away without another thought.
“Happy New Year,” she whispers to you before crawling in bed herself.
It’s a shame you didn’t get to see the fireworks.
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ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022 sun’s up too soon like daylight savings, mixed emotions are congregating 
“I’m hungry,” you whine, jolting awake and hitting your head against the hard leather headrest on your seat.
“Probably because you emptied out the contents of your stomach onto my Air Jordans,” He Who Shall Not Be Named says wryly.  
You ignore him, getting distracted by the hot dog vendor that you drive by.
“I like hot dogs,” you say absentmindedly.
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HALLOWEEN 2021 picturing us in all these places, ahead of myself’s an understatement
You just wanted to get away from the crowd, really.
The party was getting a little stuffy, and it’s pretty easy to get overheated when you’re in a thick Teletubby onesie. You and Karina had the bright idea of dressing as the purple and red Teletubby, but neither of you considered just how hot it would get.
So, that’s why you’re wandering around the dim hallways of the office, munching on a handful of candy―only to end up hearing a conversation you shouldn’t have.
“You are my biggest failure.” That’s Mr. Lee’s voice, hushed but angry.
“More than my mom? I’m honored.” It’s Donghyuck this time. He laughs, a bitter and choked sound.
You nearly yelp when the sound of a loud slap echoes down the hallway. No one else talks after that, and you only hear the sound of footsteps walking away.
Actually, walking away sounds like an absolutely amazing idea, so you turn on your heel to make a quick escape―
And of course, on today of all days, you fuck up.
All of the candy that you had been clutching to your chest slips from your sweaty palms, clattering to the floor. Every single clatter makes you shrink further and further into yourself, and you have no choice but to step out from the corner you were hiding in.
In probably one of the most poorly-timed situations of all time, you have to face Donghyuck while dressed as the purple Teletubby, and he has to face you while dressed as a hot dog―right after you just involuntarily witnessed a glimpse of his strained familial relationships.
“Hi,” you greet awkwardly, gesturing to all the candy that just fell on the floor. “You, uh, want some candy?”
When he looks at you, all the words die in your throat. There’s a red mark on his cheek, and he looks like a little boy again. He stares at you like a deer in headlights, a mixture of horror, embarrassment, and frustration all over his face. He seems so lost and alone, and you don’t know what to do to help him.
“No thanks, Tinky Winky,” he finally replies. He gives you a half-smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“What?” You blink.
“You’re dressed as the purple Teletubby, and you don’t even know his name?” He raises an eyebrow as he sits down on the floor, leaning against the wall.
“I think it’s weirder that you do know his name,” you try to tease.
He doesn’t react to that, and you just stand there. Not wanting to leave him alone, you squat down and start to pick up the candy on the floor to keep yourself busy.
“You should go back to the party,” Donghyuck says quietly.
“It’s too hot,” you complain.
“Y/N.”
“Wanna watch Twilight?” you suddenly ask.
He stares at you for what seems like forever, his expression unreadable as he searches your face. After a bit longer, he just says, “Okay.”
You gather up the rest of the candy before taking a seat on the floor right next to him, brushing your shoulder against his. Pulling out your phone, you open the Netflix app and start to play Twilight.
You pretend you don’t feel him trembling, and you tell yourself he’s crying because he knows Bella will eventually choose Edward over Jacob. The two of you watch in complete silence; he doesn’t explain, and you don’t ask.
Instead, you push your hood off so you don’t poke him in the face with your triangle antenna and lean your head against his shoulder. Then, you lace your fingers through his and hold his hand without a word.
A hot dog and Tinky Winky the purple Teletubby watching Twilight, who would’ve thought?
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ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022 sun’s up too soon like daylight savings, mixed emotions are congregating
“I hate you, Lee Donghyuck.”
He doesn’t say anything to that.
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CHRISTMAS 2021 outlines on bedsides, give me a second to forget i ever really meant it
It happened on the last day of work before Christmas break.
You gawk at the opened box in your hands, a pair of fluffy white angora gloves wrapped in fancy wrapping paper staring back up at you. Even though there’s no receipt included, you already know that these gloves cost more than three month’s worth of rent for your apartment.
“Did you steal these? Is that why you’re giving them to me? So you can frame me for your crime?” you ask suspiciously.
“Please,” he rolls his eyes, “as if I’d let you take the credit for any one of my crimes.”
You carefully take the gloves out before tossing the box at him. Catching it deftly and handing it back to you, he pretends to wipe away a tear dramatically.
“I went through the trouble of remembering how your gloves were ripped during the ski trip, so I meticulously picked these out for you,” he whines. “And I can’t believe you’re now questioning my goodwill.”
That makes you pause.
Is he talking about those cheap gloves that you used only once for that disastrous ski trip and then threw out immediately afterwards? The gloves that you haven’t thought about once since then? The gloves that you had to rack your brain to recall when he started talking about them just moments before? You can’t believe he remembered something so random.
Why did he remember?
It’s a question that haunts you on the entire plane ride back to your hometown and follows you throughout all of your family dinners and even when you’re lying awake on your cramped childhood bed.
It’s a question that both baffles and angers you at the same time. You wish he didn’t remember, and you wish he never gave you those gloves in the first place. The company is always generous to their employees around the holidays, and you know that this isn’t anything special, but it makes you feel special. It makes you want to be special. To him.
He is just a pretty boy. A pretty boy that likes indie bands and wears rings on his fingers and metal-rimmed glasses on the tip of his nose. A pretty boy that likes League of Legends and Studio Ghibli and Twilight and that one Hallmark movie you once caught him watching in the break room. A pretty boy that drinks black coffee. A pretty boy that drives a red Ferrari. A pretty boy that gave you a ride in that red Ferrari when it was raining. A pretty boy that looked for you for an hour during a snowstorm. A pretty boy that dressed as a hot dog for Halloween. A pretty boy that gave you expensive gloves because he remembered.
When did he go from Pretty Boy to Donghyuck?
But he can’t be Donghyuck. He can’t just be Donghyuck to you. Because that would be too real, too unrestrained. Because Donghyuck makes Karina laugh, so he can’t make you laugh. There needs to be decorum, after all. If he’s just Donghyuck, then what happens after?
That’s right. He can’t be Donghyuck. From now on, you won’t say his name. You’ll only know him as He Who Shall Not Be Named.
.
.
.
It happens when your mom tells you to take the casserole out of the fridge.
You see it, that traitorous pack of hot dog sausages.
You think back to Halloween, and then―
Oh my God, I like him.
“What the fuck,” you groan loudly.
That gets you a couple of gasps from your elderly relatives and an asswhooping from your mom.
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ONE DAY AFTER ST. PATRICK’S DAY 2022 ― PRESENT fast times and fast nights, no time for rewrites
For the record, Donghyuck was not looking at Karina.
And if you’d stop avoiding him like the plague, he would be able to explain that to you.
He honestly applauds your ability to ignore the elephant in the room, considering that his cubicle is right next to yours. You’ve continuously managed to give yourself more work or conveniently slip away to the bathroom during any moment of down time. His patience is honestly starting to grow thin, but you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t wear it down to the wire.
Donghyuck finally manages to hunt you down in the same hallway where you threw up on his shoes. It’s hilariously ironic, and he would normally make a joke about it, but he’s in a bit of a time crunch. You look like a spooked cat, preparing to dart away the moment there’s an opening.
“Surely, someone as smart as you is aware that you can’t just avoid me forever.” He tilts his head.
“Well, if you move, we can find out if I can or not,” you reply, refusing to look at him and trying to walk past him.
“How’s your hangover?” he asks cheerfully, stepping to the side and blocking your way.
“Awful.”
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
“No,” you say instantly. You’re such a terrible liar.
“You said you hated me,” he starts softly. He isn’t sure why he’s saying this. This isn’t what he wanted to talk about first. The order is getting jumbled in his head. “Do you?”
You suck in a wobbly breath. “No.”
It doesn’t hit him until after your answer how deathly afraid he was of you hating him. He has grown so desensitized to the word “hate,” yet it’s only when it comes to the person he cares about the most that the gravity of that word becomes so apparent.
“I like you, Y/N.”
This isn’t exactly the grand declaration of love that he was imagining; he was thinking more along the lines of The Notebook or any romcom from the early to mid-2000s, but it felt like the right time to just say it now.
Your reaction isn’t exactly what he had in mind either.
You’re gawking at him like he just grew another head. He isn’t sure why you’re so surprised; he hasn’t exactly been subtle about his crush on you.
“No, you don’t,” you say in an accusatory tone. Leave it up to you to even argue with him on his own feelings.
Now it’s his turn to gawk. “What?”
“You don’t like me,” you state firmly, but it sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself. “How could you like me?”
Donghyuck raises an eyebrow, and he starts listing off reasons with his fingers. “I start a fight with you every morning because I want to have an excuse to talk to you, I bring you coffee everyday, I drove you to my client’s office in the middle of a storm so you could take back said client, I nearly shat my pants when they said you were missing at the ski resort and also bought you hot chocolate and a huge bag of marshmallows for New Years, and you were the only one I gave a Christmas present to last year.”
“You bought the hot chocolate and marshmallows?” You blink in surprise.
“Is that all you got from what I just said?”
“But Karina―”
Oh, right. He wanted to say this first.
“I wasn’t looking at Karina,” Donghyuck finally confesses, “I was looking at you. It’s always been you.”
That’s right, it’s only ever been you.
The stupid green “Kiss me, I’m Irish” shirt. Your smeared lip gloss that he wanted to kiss right off. The sparkly stickers all over your cheeks that made you look absolutely adorable. The way you buried your face into his shirt. How you fit right into his arms. Even when you threw up all over his favorite pair of shoes, there was no place Donghyuck would rather be.
Do you think I’m pretty? you had asked him.
Yes, you’re pretty. You’re so pretty that he feels like his heart will stop every time he lays his eyes on you. You’re so pretty that he can’t even think about the seasons without thinking about you and how you’re so much more beautiful than autumn, winter, spring and summer and anything in between. There’s never been a moment when you weren’t stunningly, breathtakingly, and heart-stoppingly pretty in his eyes.
“But―But that doesn’t make any sense,” you sputter, “You can’t like me!”
“Why not?”
“Because you just can’t.”
“Do you like me?”
“Yes―no! Regardless, you can’t just suddenly decide you like me―” you begin to explain.
“I’ve always liked you,” he points out.
“We’ve spent four years hating each other, and now all of sudden, we like each other? It’s too abrupt―”
“Y/N.” Donghyuck reaches over and grasps your wrist, his warm fingers against your even warmer skin as his thumb traces circles against the back of your hand. “Will you go out with me?”
When he looks at you, you have the same expression on your face as when he first met you and caught you staring at his Twilight poster. Your eyes dart around nervously, your pulse pounding against his fingertips, and he knows he has his answer.
“Okay,” you breathe.
He sighs, coiling an arm around your waist and pulling your body flush against his. Leaning his forehead against yours, he whispers, “Now was that so fucking hard?”
He kisses you, and you taste like everything he’s ever dreamed of and more.
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dulcesiabits · 10 months
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immortality's end, p.2.
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summary: Jing Yuan is gone, and you are alone. How do you live with that?
notes: .7k words, drabbles, first part (recommended you read this first), angst, introspection, JY is dead, this is about grief and the aftermath of the previous part
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iv.
It is at times like this that you are made acutely aware of the space that Jing Yuan once occupied. 
With a sharp clatter, the wooden sword flies out of Yanqing’s hands, spinning across the dust of the training grounds. Your own sword is tucked under his chin, scraping against his throat as the boy swallows. 
“Sloppy,” you chide. “Yanqing, this isn’t like you. Just because you’ve mastered more advanced techniques doesn’t mean you can shirk the basics.” 
Yanqing lowers his eyes to the ground, hands clenched. “I understand, shifu.” 
“If you understand, then you understand that I will not spar with you after today.” The blade dips, and Yanqing’s head snaps up, his mouth already parted to protest. “For now, you will return to practice swings, a hundred of each different form.” 
“Shifu! That’s what recruits do. I—” 
“And you fought like a recruit today,” you say sternly. “Poor posture. Waste of movement. No precision or awareness of where your sword should be.” 
Yanqing grits his teeth, clamping down on the arguments you know he wants to make. “I… I understand.” 
“You’re talented, Yanqing, but talent is wasted without training and diligence. I expect more from you.” 
A beat of silence. And then, ever so softly, like the flutter of a butterfly’s wings, Yanqing says, “If you... if you expect great things from me, then why didn’t you… why didn’t you let me strike down the general?” 
His words pin you down, trap you in a way you can’t escape. 
If Jing Yuan was here. If Jing Yuan was here, he would know what to say. If Jing Yuan was here, you would not have this conversation at all. 
It was Jing Yuan who was good with children, not you. Jing Yuan, with his silver tongue and clever words, who indulged Yanqing despite your scoldings that he should be more strict with the boy. 
When Yanqing first came under your tutelage, you both decided the disciple would be jointly taught. Jing Yuan taught Yanqing xiangqi, and you taught him calligraphy. Music. Hunting. Not just how to fight, but how to survive. How to live. How to appreciate the world around him. 
Because Jing Yuan’s blood stained your sword, your heart, and it would never wash away. You would have to learn how to live with this grief, this death of your other self, wrought by your own hands. 
Yanqing knew how to be strong. But did he know how to live with what came after? 
But in front of Yanqing, the words fail you. 
“Yanqing,” you say instead. “Why do you take up the sword? For glory? To become stronger? Or just because you can?” You throw down your wooden blade, and it lands at his feet. “I take up arms to protect. To protect the people of Xianzhou, and to protect the ones I love. That is what guides me. Practice your forms. Our lesson ends here for today.” 
You leave, and pretend not to notice when Yanqing wipes the back of his eyes with his sleeve. 
Were you doing the right thing? Were you being too harsh? Too soft? 
Yuan’er, you don’t know how to do this alone.
v.
It was said that when you were born, no one knew why you kept crying. Like you were mourning, the doctor whispered. Like you carried some memory of your past life, and it left you inconsolable. 
It wasn’t until you met Jing Yuan, still just a toddler himself, with only a few years on your paltry months, that you ceased your endless tears. 
They said the two of you were inseparable as children after that. That you were always running after him, and Jing Yuan was always waiting for you to catch up. One chubby hand in another. You braided his hair, clumsy efforts that Jing Yuan wore proudly. He saved all the best snacks for you, crumbly pastries and soft buns. 
Even as adults, it was hard to find one without the other. Jing Yuan, the other half of your soul. Who was more of you than you yourself were. You had been born for him.
“Don’t you ever get jealous of him?” someone asked you once. “He became arbitrator-general over you.” 
It was a ridiculous question, even then. Would the hand get jealous of the foot? Would the eye envy the ear?
You two were greater than the sum of your parts. Whatever you felt for him was unspeakable. No words existed yet to capture it. 
He is yours. You are his. In this life, and all the lives to come after.
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bhaalergate · 16 days
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Working on a gay little something. I've found it fun to write military chatter ever since I was a Halo fanboy in my teens and, despite growing up a heathen who was never baptized, I've always been fascinated by religious imagery. Sprinkle some medicine on top--my lifelong love and current career--and this is scratching a lot of itches for me.
Here's a snippet:
John makes the mistake of glancing up and finds Ghost staring back at him, eyes as brown as a dog's. There's an intensity to it John hasn't learned to read yet, but it triggers the atavistic part of him that remembers that it's prey, that one day he will find death in the jaws of another and it will be right. It satisfies that part of his hindbrain that evolved long before God ever touched the minds of man. 
Open hearts and minds with it, Johnny.
Did Jesus feel this way when he washed the feet of his disciples? Did he feel mortal for just a moment as he knelt down and bared the nape of his neck like a man awaiting execution? Did he ever once fear the hand of Judas before it fell? 
Ghost will never hurt him. The proof of that is writ in scar tissue across John's shoulder and countless corpses that were born so he could live. He would make a plague of himself, run the rivers red with blood before spilling a single drop of Johnny's. There is a sort of beauty in destruction that only a demolitions expert can appreciate.
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Reading through 2 Kings, I've observed that even the kings were called servants and referred to as servants for the people.
It brought to mind Mark 9:35 where it says that whoever wants to be the first must place himself last of all and be the servant of all.
It also brought to mind Luke 22:26-27 where Jesus says that He was amongst His disciples as one to serve even though He was the one who sits down. And finally it brought to mind John 13:4-17 where He washes the feet of His disciples (although they call Him Teacher as well as Lord which He is), telling His disciples that they should too wash each other's feet. He tells them that slaves are never greater than their masters nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. All of this made me realize that in the Kingdom of God, we're basically all servants of each other. . . we're servants of God. We're all here to do His will and that humility needs to be the most significant embodiment regarding our serving of Him and others.
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kylejsugarman · 1 year
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like. jesse not only dragged walt's unconscious ass out of the meth lab in "fly", he took the time to remove his shoes before laying him down on the sofa. he covered walt up with his own jacket. the reverent affection of a son who creeps into the living room and covers his father with a blanket after he stumbles home drunk and collapses into his chair. that man like god so distant and unpredictable—sometimes violent—but whose love has no equal. removing walt's shoes is its own act of worship for jesse. it is maundy for all the vitriol they exchanged earlier that day. jesus washed the feet of his disciples as an act of love, to absolve them of their sins and renew their virtue. jesse does the same, taking on the sin and giving back untarnished, unconditional love.
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walkswithmyfather · 2 months
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John 17:20-21 (NASB). “I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”
“Parting Words: Jesus Prays for Us” —by In Touch Ministries:
“Before going to the cross, our Savior prayed for the disciples—and He included us too.”
“After washing His disciples’ feet and commissioning them to go out into the world—not as conquering kings but as loving servants—Jesus shared His intimate thoughts. He helped them see what this task would look like and the type of troubles they’d face. He helped the men understand what “kingdom of God” meant and why He must leave them for a while. He promised that while He was gone, the Comforter would be with them. And though Jesus said they’d certainly have trouble, He then encouraged them, for He had overcome the world.
Can you imagine sitting at that table, eating that dinner, and looking into Jesus’ eyes as He broke the bread, drank the wine, and shared from His heart?
Then, Jesus prayed one last time for His friends. And not only that—amazingly, He also prayed for all who would believe based on their word (John 17:20). Friend, that means you. That means everyone who’s trusted in Him—Jesus was praying for us, and we have His very words. What could be more precious?
On that terrible night—Jesus’ last night before dying—the one thing He asked was for us to remain unified. For us to be knit together in love so the entire world would recognize Jesus in us. It is a sacred invitation, as important today as it was then.”
(Photo by Wylly Suhendra at Unsplash)
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