#We need a national two-day vacation in February I think

[hamletthedane]

It’s honestly good that October through December fly by each year before you even notice them, because in contrast January through March feel like you’re living through several back-to-back decades

[beretgarden1]

China Resumes Visa Issuance In Hong Kong & Macao

Hsu informed VOA Mandarin, "Because we will get vaccine passports, even when the passports don't apply to the entire world, no less than we don't have to quarantine in China. I suppose that is the greatest incentive. A lot of individuals need to get vaccinated." 辦理台胞證 stated that China is keen to undertake mutual recognition of vaccinations with different nations. But 辦理台胞證 declined to touch upon whether China would think about accepting and facilitating the WHO-approved Pfizer-BioNTech, AstraZeneca and Johnson & Johnson vaccines sooner or later. China launched full-scale registration of China-made vaccines for foreigners in Beijing and Shanghai at the finish of March. Similar provincial-level applications started in April for foreigners concentrated within the cities of Shenzhen, Guangzhou, Hangzhou and Chongqing. Country threat categorization is subject to rapid change based mostly on the local pandemic situation. As of February 26, people getting into China are required to have a 21-day quarantine earlier than they enter Beijing. After entering Beijing, there may be another 7-day well being observation interval, during which they are required to report physique temperature twice a day. The Invitation Letter (PU&TE) or Invitation Verification Notice issued by the international affairs places of work or the departments of commerce of the provincial governments or the headquarters of state-owned enterprises are now not required. From 10 May 2021 to 10 June 2021, applicants can still use the existing bodily paper utility forms. Starting from 10 June 2021, all candidates must submit their application types by way of the online application system. The Chinese authorities attaches high significance to protecting the rights and interests of worldwide students in China. Academic institutions are required to keep in close contact with these college students overseas, make good arrangements for online courses, and correctly handle their reliable concerns and appeals. China’s vaccines have been rolled out in a number of international locations around the globe, together with Turkey, Indonesia and Cambodia. Vacation Schedule Of 2022 For Passport And Visa Office Of The Consulate Basic Of The Peoples Republic Of China In La Check out Passport Index to search out out the place you can travel visa-free along with your present passport. Currently UAE has essentially the most visa-free access with a hundred seventy five countries, while Afghanistan has the least access with visa-free journey to only 30 countries. Passport Index focuses not on the visa restrictions however somewhat on the chances and freedom that passports provide. The Passport Compare device permits customers to see which international locations they will go to visa-free and compare their passport towards others. There are no onerous and quick rules for nations when figuring out visa insurance policies. Visa on arrival implies that travellers must acquire a visa in order to enter the vacation spot nation, however it can be obtained upon arrival. Visitors do not need to apply for a journey visa beforehand. A country’s visa coverage is a rule that states who could or may not enter the nation. The policy could permit passport holders of 1 country to enter visa-free but not the passport holders of one other nation. Most visa policies are bilateral, that means that two international locations will permit visa-free travel to every other’s residents, however this isn't at all times the case. For instance, Canadian passport holders could travel to Grenada visa-free, however Grenadians should apply for a visa to find a way to travel to Canada. Tourist forms of visas are short-term, normally valid for 3 months, and you cannot work whereas on a tourist visa. There is often no restrict to how many instances you'll have the ability to apply for a tourist visa for the same country— so lengthy as the embassy/consulate grants the visa; you'll be able to freely journey. Government offices shall be closed December 24, 2021 and January 6, 2022. Please don't convey folks with you into EOIR area unless they are required to be current in your hearing. The immigration court docket does not accept faxes or other electronic submissions until the transmission has been specifically requested by the immigration court staff or the immigration judge. Unauthorized transmissions are not made a part of the record and are discarded with out consideration of the document or discover to the sender. Review your visa standing and find out should you want a U.S. visa or a visa renewal. See our Passport Index to search out out the place you can travel visa-free along with your passport. Chinese Visa A notarial police certificates normally contains a watermark, seal, and red stamp. A signed affidavit or authorization certificate from the applicant if somebody aside from the applicant applies for the certificate on his or her behalf. The authorized person also wants to provide his/her nationwide ID card. A notarial divorce certificates usually contains a watermark, seal, and pink stamp; aside from the copies of the original divorce certificates. All notarial documents must have an English translation, and be hooked up with a certificates stating that the English translation is in conformity with the Chinese authentic. VisaCentral might help you to save valuable time and keep away from expensive delays. A VisaCentral professional will review all of your paperwork to verify your application is correct, complete and ready for submission. We will contact you personally to shortly deal with any errors ensuring your software is submitted correctly. For all functions and petitions that you just undergo this workplace, you must pay the charges to the us embassy cashier with Visa or MasterCard or in money with U.S. dollars or Chinese yuan. We don't settle for personal checks or money orders. The complete expenses embrace all authorities charges, CVSC service fees, consular processing payment, and shipping charges. Please contact the us embassy or consulate that has jurisdiction over the area where you live for additional data. Except as we explain beneath, you must file Form I-601 with the USCIS Lockbox in the United States by mail. If you imagine you've extraordinary circumstances that require expedited processing, you may submit a written request for expedited processing along along with your software when you file with the Lockbox. You can find further instructions on requesting expedited processing domestically on the How to Make an Expedite Request webpage. The Notarial Abandonment Certificate ought to detail under what circumstances the child was both orphaned or deserted. Consulate Guangzhou's Adoption Unit for more on the intercountry adoptions course of. Prior to January 1981, there have been no standardized adoption laws and rules in China. What Is The Main Objective Of Your Go To To China And Which Is Probably The Most Appropriate Visa Category In Your Utility Those who have to travel to Mainland China urgently however wouldn't have a sound Home Return Permit can apply for a Chinese Exit and Entry Permit, also only via the CTS, in Hong Kong or Macau or at the ports of Luohu and Huanggang. The Exit and Entry Permit is valid for 3 months and only good for a single journey to Mainland China. By advantage of processing these applications, VFS GLOBAL acts as an information processor and the respective Diplomatic Mission/s are the info controller. Foreigners who wish to enter China for tourism purposes or to go to family will want an L visa, or Q visa, which has a length of between 60 and one hundred eighty days. The visa may also be on a a quantity of entry, double-entry, or single entry foundation. Canada and U.S. citizens may qualify for a a number of entry China tourist visa, legitimate for ten years. No matter what the circumstances are, it can't be interpreted that the Chinese Visa Application Service Facility has made any promise or assurance, nor does it bear any other legal responsibility for the solutions to clients’ queries. 1.9 “Website” refers to the website located at /china-drc the place online companies are provided to shoppers, corresponding to information bulletins, online application form completion, online appointment and visa software status question services. Even although most foreigners do need to get a Taiwan visa, there are particular international locations whose nationals are allowed to travel to Taiwan visa-free, provided they'll solely stay short-term and for tourism, business, or visiting functions. Non-US residents shall present documents legitimate for no less than 6 months that entitles them to reside for an extended time frame within the US, Such as a Green card, work or research visa . Temporary visitors to the US should apply for a Chinese visa in their own country. For the special case, the visa officer has the rights to make the final choice on whether or not issuing a visa or not. State Department to be get hold of Passports & Visas for purchasers positioned in the United States of America.ItsEasy just isn't a government company. State Department and Foreign Government Embassies and Consulates to acquire Passports & Travel Visas on your behalf, saving you the effort and time to acquire these travel documents your self. We additionally provide advisement and professional review of your journey document applications to assure the fastest attainable processing. If an applicant is part of a tour, an invite letter for a tourist group issued by a duly authorized tourism unit primarily based in mainland China could additionally be submitted. Momentary Intent Having a nonimmigrant visa lawyer in Chicago will help you search the right nonimmigrant visa so that you simply can journey to the united states Nonimmigrant visas are divided into many classes, often primarily based on their function and often covering short-term employment, research, or brief visits for tourism or work. If the applicant has greater than 15 days on the current permit to remain or entry stamp, yes, it's attainable to apply for the Non Immigrant B visa. Please additionally observe that the issuance of this visa may rely in your local immigration workplace. In Bangkok, the immigration will take the application on a case-to-case basis. After your visa interview, your software may require additional administrative processing. You will be informed by the consular officer if further processing is necessary in your utility. Passport valid for travel to the United States - Your passport should be legitimate for no much less than six months beyond your period of keep in the United States (unless exempt by country-specific agreements). If a couple of individual is included in your passport, every one that wants a visa should submit a separate application. They have a residence outside the us as properly as different binding ties which will ensure their return on the finish of their stay. Visits to the United States Minor Outlying Islands– Baker Island, Howland Island, Jarvis Island, Johnston Atoll, Kingman Reef, Midway Atoll, Navassa Island, Palmyra Atoll and Wake Island– are severely restricted. The islands are not accessible to the basic public, and all visits require special permits from the united states Work Visa Necessities In China You ought to be succesful of apply for the visa in any China consulate, regardless of the nation. You must verify with the Chinese consulate within the Philippines, however I imagine that yes, you do want to use for a China visa. Hey Kenneth, it’s true you could apply on your 10-yr visa in Hong Kong as a US citizen. Unfortunately, I am not too conversant in the bilateral agreements between China and Belize. Your good friend will want to call up the Chinese embassy in Belize to find out for certain. If an applicant is required to provide their fingerprints in order to acquire their police clearance, they will generally be completed on the consulate/embassy or certified agent acknowledged by the house country of the applicant. Once an applicant has entered the nation, he/she will be required to acquire a China residence allow, which allows them to stay in China for the aim of labor. The duration of the residence allow is dependent on the location in china. For example, do they want a permanent residence visa, work allow, or both? What particulars and documents do they require to apply for a residence permit? All of those questions, together with a number of others, are important to ensure that you’re staying compliant and can work rapidly. You should read theRights and Protections pamphletbefore your visa interview to learn about your rights in the United States regarding home violence, sexual assault, and youngster abuse and safety obtainable to you. The consular officer will verbally summarize the pamphlet to you during your interview. Additionally, K-3 visa candidates might be provided with any current legal background information on their U.S. citizen spouses that USCIS obtained from different authorities agencies during processing of their Form I-129F petitions. Software For Travel Document Provider Documentation However, this does not imply that you can go to each country as you would like, there are only a handful of countries where you can go visa-free with refugee travel paperwork. The Visa Application Centre is established underneath the specific laws and rules of the nation the place it is registered. It is strictly certain to comply with these laws and will take various measures to protect the non-public data and paperwork of applicants. In order to ensure dependable and easy operation of the Visa Application Center, a service charge shall be charged at published costs, along with the visa payment collected by the embassy. 2) If you aren't close to a consulate or embassy, you'll have to use a visa agent to obtain your visa. If you wish to stay on travel.state.gov, click on the "cancel" message. You can apply for a Chinese driver’s license if you have a resident allow. Please see the part on DUAL NATIONALITY for the limits on consular notification and entry to twin nationals. If you are arrested or detained, ask police or jail officials to notify the united states Furthermore, some crimes are prosecutable in the United States, regardless of native law. All nationals of The People’s Republic of China holding legitimate 10-year B1/B2, B1 or B2 visas who journey to the United States on a passport issued by the People’s Republic of China must adjust to EVUS necessities beginning on November 29, 2016. Please do not overlook that when you get an L visa, we have completely no control over what visa students are actually issued. On our part, the invitation letter lists all students as just that, and ideally they want to now be receiving an X2 visa. If that isn't the case, as long as they've a legitimate entry visa for China, the details can be fixed after arrival in Beijing. Orders cancelled prior to submission will be assessed CVSC’s service fees. Russia Evisa For Chinese Citizens Travelers will want their People’s Republic of China passport containing a most validity (10-year) B1/B2, B1 or B2 visa and access to the web. At this second, Globalization Partners does not supply assist processing work visas or permits on this particular location. Other letters to observe for include “C” for chuányuán, or crew, “L” for lǎowài, or foreigner/tourist, and “G” for guòjìng, or transit. Visitors touring with a group on a group visa and intending to remain longer should apply for a person visa extension. Visitors traveling with a bunch on a gaggle visa and who want to keep longer than the group ought to apply for a person visa. Nevertheless, not each college promoting educating positions can get you a PU letter. Because some foreigner nationals can get a PU letter exemption and those colleges are hoping to attain those foreigners. COVID drove lots of foreign teachers in one other country, some of whom want to return. If their Chinese residency permits are still legitimate, for example, they are exempt from needing a PU letter and their entry into the country is facilitated. Foreigners who've confirmed onward tickets and seats on worldwide flights and directly transit by way of China and keep for not more than 24 hours within the airport boundaries don't need to use for a transit visa. After get it, verify fastidiously the visa type, period of stay, number of entries if they're issued correctly. Fortunately, the Russia eVisa permits foreigners to obtain a Russian journey authorization upfront from anywhere on the earth. If you’re planning a cruise to Russia and want a Russian visa, you can complete the applying on-line in minutes by submitting all of the relevant documents and knowledge and obtain your visa in less than 4 days. Chinese citizens are among the many travelers required to acquire a visa in order to go to Russia. Fortunately, among the Russian visas Chinese are eligible for, there's the Russia eVisa. Non-visa-exempt nationals who're residents of Hong Kong or Macau require a visa to go to the Mainland. If you work while holding a student visa, it's illegal in most cases. But in some locations some very particular forms of part time job with restricted time is allowed. Because you propose to go to Shanghai China for becoming a member of in vessel as a seaman, you want to apply for a China Crew Visa - C Visa, which is specified for international plane, train or vessel crews performing duties onboard. China Discovery is knowledgeable and skilled travel companion who presents high-value and worry-free excursions for you.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

UA School Headcanon stuff

While doing POTSOD I realized that the UA teacher stuff is very low. We need more teachers!

So- Headcanon time with me ranting about how I think the teacher system works for UA.

First though: random facts I know about the Japanese school system:

-The students clean the school (Other then bathrooms). This isn’t actually a law but it is a general practice.

-Japanese homeroom teachers move grades with the class.

-The school year looks like the following.

Second week in April: School begins

May 3: Constitution Memorial Day

May 5: Children’s Day

End of July through the end of August: Summer vacation

September 15: Respect-for-the-Aged Day

September 23 (or 24): Autumnal Equinox Day

October 10: Health-Sports Day

November 3: Culture Day 

November 23: Labor Thanksgiving Day

December 23: Emperor’s Birthday

December 25 through January 7: Winter vacation

January 15: Adults’ Day

February 11: National Foundation Day

March 21 (or 20): Vernal Equinox Day

Third week in March: School ends, and spring vacation begins

Rambly Collection of Headcanons and Thoughts about the above

I am making the decision- I ignore canon again because it doesn’t make sense.

So- you can fight me on the idea that the USJ happens like two days after their first day of school!!! It’s stupid!!

 Honestly- I’m thinking that it takes place their second week of school.

 I’ll give the battle trials cause All Might is a bad teacher or just one who is very naive about kids. Or who knows, maybe sparring is fine first…

 You know what. Yes. Sparring is fine first day of classes, and his choice to spice it up a bti was accepted by Nezu. Aizawa just thinks he’s a dumbass.

But anyway, back to my thoughts: I don’t think UA would have the students clean. Why? Because hero students have a lot of physical activity during the day, and then have no energy to clean, the support students are similar to. So it wouldn’t be fair to JUST have two courses clean. 

Also random thought: Scholarships are given to anyone who passes the hero entrance exam but cannot afford to go to school. This is provided by the teachers themselves and actually not related to the school. Because they all came from different backgrounds.

Staffing (Non Teachers)

Staff, in canon, goes like:

Nezu- Principal

Lunch Rush- Chef

Recovery Girl- Nurse

Hound Dog- Guidance Counsellor.

(Fun story: I was about to add Cece and then remembered that she’s fanon, not canon.)

 Due to the above, I realize that there really isn’t a lot of like… staff members, and it’s fine. I just think we probably have more. 

For instance, we need more counsellors than one person. So I propose that each course gets its own special one for each year.

 Meaning that there are 12 counsellors hired by the school with Hound Dog above them as the head counsellor.

Then Recovery Girl. If I remember right, she had people with her for Izuku’s surgery.

 So I say she has like four assistants. 

 Lunch Rush cooks everything by himself because I headcanon that’s his Quirk. Like the ability to make so much food for a school.

 But he does have kitchen staff who do the dishes and clean it. 

I however have a special idea about that.

Given UA accepts students from ALL over Japan and from all economic background, but as hero classes can leave students hurt or needing to miss a couple of days of work which is a no go for most jobs without lots of warning… UA hires students who need a job to work in the kitchen cleaning. 

 Similar as well to the cleaning of the school and landscaping. They have a couple of people who are overseeing them, but they hire students.

Librarian- they have three and then hire students to stock the shelves. 

 UA is allowed to do this because they are the top school, and because they take students from all over.

Then we have to have a secretary/receptionist and a vice principal

So- Staff List

Nezu- Principal

Vice Principal

Receptionist

Recovery Girl- Nurse

RG’s Assistants (4)

Lunch Rush- Chef

Hound Dog- Guidance Counsellor and Head Counsellor

12 Counsellors- one for each course and each year.

4 People who oversee Landscaping/Cleaning duties

Staff (Teachers-1A)

As Japanese home room teachers move with their classes, I propose that in UA each year has teachers also moving up. This is for bonding purposes.

 So, with a focus on 1A-

Aizawa- Home Room 

All Might- Foundational Heroics Teacher

Midnight- Modern Hero Art History Teacher

Present Mic- English Teacher

Ectoplasm- Mathematics

Snipe- Unknown

Cementoss- Modern Literature

Power Loader- Unknown, fanon says he’s Home Room for Hatsume’s class.

Thirteen- Special teacher

… That’s not enough.

Like- where’s science? Where’s social studies? Like what?

I like the idea Power Loader is the homeroom teacher for Hatsume so… he’s gone.

Snipe- I kinda like the idea of Snipe teaching social studies (That is teaching about current events and stuff) So there.

Midnight… I hate it. Modern Art- no. That’s… no. Just… It doesn’t make sense for a hero school to have that teacher. It just… it just doesn’t.

Heroic History? Yes. 

That still leaves Science. And Maybe heroic law.

 Thirteen is apparently a special teacher… I would like to propose though that they are also the science teacher simply because like why not.

 Also- with how Midnight does come in to help with Name, I now headcanon that the teachers pull double duty and work as specialists to.

As we are focusing ONLY on 1A, I don’t think they’d have more teachers then this simply because hero students probably don’t need a bunch of stuff- most of their time is spent training.

So- new list.

Aizawa- Home Room 

All Might- Foundational Heroics Teacher

Midnight- Heroic History 

Present Mic- English Teacher

Ectoplasm- Mathematics

Snipe- Social Studies

Cementoss- Modern Literature

Thirteen- Science

Heroic Law Teacher

UA School Week for 1A

Okay, so the normal time period for Japanese Schools: 8:30-3:15. Also- apparently Saturday school is no longer a thing in Japan unless it’s a cram school.

Which UA doesn’t allow their students to attend as they want their students to rest. 

But, anyway.

So…

8:30-3:15. 

Lets say each class lasts an hour and I think lunch lasts an hour to.

So: 8:30-9:00 Homeroom.

9:00-10:00- One class (English or Social Studies alternating days)

10:00-11:00 Second class (History or Science Alternating days)

11:00-12:00 Third class (Mathematics or Heroic Law alternating days)

12:00-1:00- lunch

1:00-3:15- Physical heroics.

That’s how I think the day is set up.

Except Fridays- which are either field trip days or are

8:30-10:00- Homeroom

10:00-11:00 Club activities or an elective

11:00-12:00 Club activities or an elective

12:00-1:00 Lunch

1:00-3:15- Physical heroics.

And that’s it!

Hope you guys enjoyed this.

[yumark-ism]

210930 mark’s instagram writing + more

[🔗]

sure, it really could be about glasses, but the last two sentences really suggest otherwise. no way mark could have posted a romance-themed writing without there being a twist - rumours would be flying everywhere! the glasses metaphor makes people think ‘ohh this is typical mark’ but is it really? from his instagram writings, has mark ever posted a romantic one? no. mark rarely talks about romance, often cringing like a kid when asked about it or simply saying he has not given it much thought. why is he suddenly posting things like this, in the midst of a busy comeback schedule no less? his other instagram writings have been posted outside of any comeback periods (all in february 2021). after months of no writing posts, he decided to post this. yes i believe this was directed to yuta. significantly, he posted this in a period where we have seen him falling for yuta, even casually saying he “fell in love,” being possessive and generally whipped for him. it’s a very noticeable change of behaviour for him compared to his interactions with all other members and idols we have seen with him in years. 

before i get into the content of the post, let’s look at the brief yumark-related events that happened around the time mark posted it. 

on 18th sept, 127 had their comeback show, on 19th they had inkigayo, then from 20-22nd it was national public holidays for chuseok. yuta mentioned on his radio show this week that while all the members went back home to their families, he went to a hotel ‘vacation’ to relax and he has been thinking about doing this.so the next time we publicly saw yumark was on the 24th and 25th. probably the next time they themselves saw each other if they didn’t return to dorms on 23rd. doyoung had a musical show on 22nd and some 127 members had the huya live schedule so this day was not a holiday for them. maybe yuta returned to the dorms or not. anyway, i already wrote about the tension at the music shows on 24th and 25th, here. i mentioned in that post that on 25th, this was the first time yuta was so intense with mark this year so far. couldn’t take his eyes off him. this photo was also later released and it is from the 25th - no context, they are having a sincere moment again. they had a music show on 26th and 28th but just a performance.

the 30th (the day mark posted the writing) is when we see yumark in publicly again. when yuta spoke in japanese for the ment, mark immediately paid attention to him and once he finished, he immediately supported with a “woo!” his reactions to anything yuta does are very quick. the cute sticker moment happened. why did mark feel the need to walk over just to give yuta his sticker? he put haechan’s on for him because he was close by but somehow mark knew yuta wouldn’t wear his sticker. yuta looked a little surprised by the interaction (maybe because he gave taeyong his sticker and thought mark saw that? mark didn’t). mark smirked a little after putting the sticker on - he just wanted an excuse to interact with bae. and then they stayed beside each other with yuta seductively dancing behind mark. they also filmed the relay dance the same day and mark was very attentive to yuta - he seems in a giddy loved-up mood.

later that night mark posts the writing. 

the next day yuta looks giddy and happy when mark is bought up in his fancall.

the day after, the promise you stares and hearts happen (i have not analysed any of these moments yet. i will maybe do it when i have time but they’re pretty self-observable as to what is going on... fluster, shyness, panic, intensity, giddiness) 

the day after, they were attached during the encore, making each other laugh, and celebrated their first inkigayo win together with stares and handholds. that was the end of sticker promos.

so as you can see, it was an intense but passionate few days. even from the few minute videos we see, their interactions were charged. they couldn’t get enough of each other. yuta didn’t hold back at all like he was during the summer. 

mark’s writing and why it’s just so yuta.

your absence is more than just a feeling of vacancy yuta was apart from him on chuseok. in fact, yuta was alone in a hotel. on chuseok. they’ve spent a lot of time together as they’re in the middle of a busy comeback so the sudden loss would naturally hit home.

i know you mean more to me than what the world may think fans asked yuta if he loves mark more than mark loves him, they’ve mentioned to mark that yuta said mark doesn’t show his affection for him on camera as much as he does off camera. mark responded that he thought he was showing it even on camera. they are aware what fans say about them because fans have no shame and ask them things like this directly. 

without you i’d be helpless like a lost heart with no match this is clearly romantic. i can’t think why mark would use this as a metaphor for his glasses??? he’s letting us know he’s found his match, he’s fallen.

i need you to clear up my vision and hopefully my mind too  indeed the first part relates to glasses but the mind part reminds me of all the times mark has said he admires yuta’s heart and way of thinking of things. his straightforwardness and assertiveness, how he doesn’t hold back. yuta is mark’s dominant, his rock to lean on and pick him up when things get too hard. yuta has mentioned they have an unspoken understanding of each other, they understand each other’s loneliness, he wants to take care of mark.

just stay on my face so that we won’t fall apart stay with me, don’t look at anyone else, be mine (possessive mark anyone? we’ve seen a lot of him recently!)

they say you’re no good for me but i think otherwise this one really gives it away. nobody says glasses aren’t good for people. they do however say yuta isn’t good for mark. again, fans have publicly told mark him calling yuta oppa is weird and he should stop. mark took it to heart. there were even articles about it. mark hasn’t called him oppa since. people talk about their age difference, they’re fanservice, shove more popular ships in their faces. korean support for the yumark ship is nowhere to be seen. there could be so many forces telling mark that yuta isn’t good for him that we don’t even know about. this line is so obviously about his situation with yuta.

ignore them in the way you naturally are because you look good in noir again, a painfully obvious line. how can this be about glasses? this is about a person! as i’ve mentioned in my revealing interviews post, yuta has also taken fans’ comments to heart recently and has publicly pulled away from mark during 2021 compared to 2020. they have probably discussed this and mark is simply telling yuta to go back to his normal self - the yuta who doesn’t care what people think. and hasn’t yuta done exactly that? sure, he has his reservations, but that’s natural when real feelings are involved, but the intense stares and flirting is back. he doesn’t care who sees that. “you look good in noir” it’s quite confusing, mark liked the picture yuta posted on instagram of his black hair but that seems out of place and random to mention in this writing. he could just be saying yuta looks good as he naturally is - that’s the best yuta.

i believe mark would have told yuta the post was for him, even translated it to him before posting it, which would make yuta happy. yuta often desires mark to be more open about his feelings with him on camera, hence the change in yuta’s behaviour also.

[yeonchingu]

Getting into the ✨K-Arts ✨ Design Department...

...as an AMA+ Scholar! 

Before proceeding, please check if your country is eligible for the AMA+ Scholarship of Korea National University of Arts (en.karts.ac.kr)!

Note: these are my experience in the application process and current life as K-Arts Masters of Design Student! YMMV :) Also, I won’t be putting information that’s already in the K-Arts website.

I actually have no idea how I got into  K-Arts. I'm also not sure how they graded our application, but we were able to see our grades. I don't remember mine exactly but it’s around 90%..? However, I think your grading process depends on each department! 

(STILL WRITING IT! WILL ADD MORE TIPS AND LIFE IN K-ARTS TIDBITS ^^)

Applying to the K-Arts Design Department as an AMA+ Scholar:

1. Korean Language: 

At least TOPIK Level 3, and should be able to already converse or understand intermediate Korean (CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, your Korean ability will affect your quality of life as a K-Arts scholar).

2. Regarding past grades:

I actually think that other than school grades, the most important part of the application is your portfolio, study plan, and Korean skill level. 

3. For self-introduction: 

I really didn't do anything special about it but I did put:

- Why I wanted to study or why I studied graphic design,

- why I wanted to study design in Korea,

- Why do K-Arts need me as their scholar. I think this is important. Change your mindset, K-Arts NEED you because _________________. I think this can help you write your self-introduction better.

I suggest that you just be sincere with this personal introduction, and spice it up a bit. But don’t lie! 

4. For the study plan: 

Instead of writing vague plans like “I will study Korean language or I will find a job after graduation” or “I will look for an internship” or anything like that, I suggest that you make very specific plans.

For my study plan is I created a project proposal. Complete with research background, objectives, target users, 2-year project timeline, and my future plans about my project. 

I also wrote about my plans in Korea after graduation, the specific companies I want to work in, and how my education in K-Arts will make me a designer that can help Korea and my country.  

5. Portfolio: 

You don't need to put a lot of your projects, you just need to pick the ones that you're really proud of and you think will make you stand out from the other portfolios. I also have other illustration and painting projects but I did not put it in my portfolio because I am applying for the visual communication program. 

Some of my bits that I put in the portfolio (I’m not comfortable showing my projects for privacy reasons!)

Life in K-Arts

1. Intensive Korean Course (October - February)

Before entering K-Arts, you need to study Korean first for at Hankuk University of Foreign Studies, which is the university beside K-Arts. You will take a level test and do intensive Korean classes for about 2 months with other AMA+ scholars. That's 8 hours a day everyday. 

And then after that you will take another level test, study again for two more months... but this time you will only study for 4 hours a day, and with the other foreign students who enrolled in HUFS, not necessarily just AMA+ scholars.

When you pass your language course, you can start your first semester in K-Arts.

2. Dorm Life

You can choose to live in the dorm or you can choose to live outside. It depends on you but the dorm fees are of course cheaper, around 200-350$ a month, and currently there are 2-person rooms and single room dorms. I live in the single one and pay $350/month. If you live outside, you need to pay around $400~ above plus deposit (around $1000-$5000) and utilities (around $50). So the dorms is definitely cheaper. 

Two Christmases have passed but I still can’t go home due to Corona :(

3. Part-time jobs

You can get a part-time job 6 months after living in Korea. For those with TOPIK 0 to 3, you can only do 15 hours a week but if you have TOPIK 4 and above, you can do up to 30 hours a week, and work for as much as you want during the vacation. 

I was able to get a part time job after 7 months in Korea, so that helped me a lot with my lifestyle because I really like to go to 맛집s (hot places to eat) in Korea. 

꿀팁 Cool Tip: Eat at the K-Arts cafeteria! It’s only $3.50 for unlimited food! Meals in Seoul usually cost $7 on average. It helped me a lot when I was broke lol

4. Design Classes

For your classes, EVERYTHING will be held in Korean. The professor won't slow down for you so if you don't understand anything, good luck :)

Some of my classworks:

For my first semester, I had three classes: Communication Design, Design Studio & Design Critique.  I survived my first semester because I'm the only student at the time. The design department does not have a lot of students because they say it's hard to get in, so for the first semester I don't have any classmates. But starting the second semester of my first year, a classmate appeared so it’s a lot harder because I'm still not good at Korean during that time but thankfully my professors and classmates are very helpful. I survived!

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

[lostmoonbunny]

Greetings from a Panini World

Yes, I did call this a "panini". I'm hesitant to use the word "pandemic" as I feel many of us have a knee jerk reaction to hide from everything once hearing or seeing that word. However that's the current stat of events. The year? 2021 Where I am located its very much so post quarantine and society has attempted to "return to normal" but its impossible. Between the anti- maskers, anti-vaxxers, and everything else it truly is impossible. "What do you mean?" you ask, well allow me to take you on a journey of a human that has gone through this "history in the making" and share what its been like since January 2020 to September 2021 from the eyes of someone that lived it. -I will preface this with saying, there will be gaps, I have trouble with object permanence, concept of time, and I have memory issues due to past concussions so bear with me as we stumble through the memories of my experiences.

So here we go... Let's travel back to January 2020.

2020..Ahhh the big year of "Clear vision".. HA! No, not today. What I remember was being concerned about this horrible virus but didn't think it would make its way to where I lived.. ( I would be unsurprisingly corrected shortly after this.) I worked, had my birthday, and it was quickly February. The virus was quickly spreading and making its way downtown walking fast faces past.. oops..sorry I got sidetracked, it was making its way down throughout the nation. We celebrated my partner's birthday, and soon after the month was over. February always flies by. March...ahh March, this is where everything started changing for me. Many states were shutting down around us fairly quickly too. ( I have opinions about how the US should've shut down sooner, but we're not here for politics...but yes it should've happened sooner.) My partner, younger brother and I made a last minute trip to the next state for a day trip. Which was fun don't get me wrong but the places we went to shut down for the state's quarantine the next day. My state would follow barely a week later. I was furloughed. That..that was an experience. All of us received the same message as it was a group message. It stated that we were all effectively unemployed ( so we could apply for benefits if we chose to) and that if and when we reopen that they hoped we could come back. I immediately messaged my boss and the boss that messaged us all and double checked learning that I was on the "short list" for rehires. That made me fee a bit better but I was still sad. My partner was considered "an Essential worker" so they worked through the entire lockdown. I swear Animal Crossing New Horizons is one of the only things that got me through that.. from this all the days blended together till June. Not don't get me wrong, plenty of things happened on a personal growth side that was beneficial like I started going to therapy, got even closer to my cousin that lives on the west coast, I played with my cats and dogs more, I caught up on sleep, all sorts of things but the way it had to happen sucked. Also in this time period, my favorite uncle contracts the virus and is put in the ICU on a ventilator. I don't remember how long he was in there but he made it. He is now healthy and survived the virus. So lets fast forward to June. My place of work reopened under specific guidelines. Now I don't know if I've ever mentioned this but I live in the southeast. The southeast, in summer is AWFUL. Its hot, its humid, and then if it DOES rain that humidity just goes up and it gets worse. To give you an idea while the temperature might say its 84 degrees F but the real feel might be 95F. I don't know why they don't just say 95F but that's how it is the southeast... So imagine if you will mid June, being reopened with special rules, masks required for everyone 5 years old and older, and no buildings but restrooms open to the public. The amount of rude, hateful, uncaring people almost made me lose my complete faith in humanity, and its not very high to begin with. Also for context, I work in retail. I feel that says enough there. These rules extend till the end of the year and into part of 2021. While all of this is happening the US is having their presidential elections and everyone has crawled out of the woodwork that you had hoped would stay there. At this point I'm hoping for the best because we really need a paradigm shift in society. We need to truly need to change as a society and in many way, catch up to the rest of the world. I finally gave in a got to tiktok and realize that it is very much a time devourer. I've realized that I feel as if the term "Cassflux" fits how I feel about my gender best, and fully accepted my journey on the path of being a witch.

Lets move in to October, October I ( and my partner) travel to Texas (cautiously) for my cousin's socially distant wedding and our anniversary. That was amazing and the slight escape from reality was truly needed. On our way back we made a stop in NOLA and it was a fun visit, but I realized my baby witch self hadn't veiled or warded myself nearly enough and it got all of "spidey senses" all out of wack. knowing now what I should've done, I do want to go back. The rest of the year went by both incredibly slow and yet in a flash. The US elected a new president, I was working as hard a possible to avoid the virus as much as possible and my partner had gotten a new job with a different company that was making them more happy. So this brings us to 2021. This is the year that I feel that I am truly coming into my own despite living in the middle of a global Panda Express. January brings my turning a landmark age and celebrating it with a new hair style, new outlook on life, progress made in therapy, more self acceptance, and just overall more happiness. The world is still the same, better, but also worse. The vaccine is being produced, distributed, and made accessible. February brings another birthday with my partner's birthday. March rolls around and we jokingly celebrate our work's closing a year prior and then continue to work. The vaccine is made available to retail and food workers so I go and get the first round of the "Dolly Parton" vaccine with my co workers. (If you were wondering its Moderna) We go and receive the second dose later at the correct time. April and May kind of blend together for me because that the ramp up for the busy season at work. June & July are busy but everything is moving forwards. I finally take a step more into the current era of technology and upgrade my phone and computer. ( After several years of going back and forth of not wanting current gen tech or not, because that stuff be expensive!) I reconnect with an old friend and we have a much healthier friendship.

August....hecking August.. We are short staffed at work, busy as heck! My partner is also hecking busy by being called in for almost every problem. The world is deffo changing. The US is in a state of nah nah a boo boo with vaccinating vs not, virus outbreaks having an uptick, universities starting back, Texas deciding that the government gets a say in a woman's reproductive rights... sorry I'll try to not get political. My ( like many others) using tiktok as a means of escape from this reality.. I'm so beyond mentally exhausted by everything that I just want to be somewhere that I can breathe a bit more easy... Its deffo not the southeastern US. September: I. am. exhausted. Working a bunch. Dealing with people doubting the virus, the usual Karens and Richards, counting down my days to vacation. My partner is beyond exhaustion. They've worked more in the past six weeks that they have in two years. The 20th year of 9/11 comes and goes. Not to sound like a country song, but remembering where I was at the moment the planes hit is something that has stuck with me...despite my concussions. I was in my English class and its was between classes and they had the tvs on. So many parents were coming and calling their kids out the school got to the point they weren't going to let kids leave.. ( if the parents complained enough they did.. I was a poorer kid in a more affluent school) My parents weren't going to take me out of school so I finished the day out in a state of confusion, not understanding the gravitas of what was going on, and not understanding was the emotions I was feeling watching the crashes were. I don't claim to even comprehend the emotions of this date to people who lost loved ones in the crashes, or in the oncoming days of the country going to war, I just know how it felt as a child to see something so major happening. I feel its like the kids now living through this panic at the disco. [[If you read this and you lost someone due to either of these horrific events please know that I in no way am invalidating or belittling your feelings or experiences. I merely am trying to describe all of how I feel throughout 2020- roughly current day 2021 and these are the things I was thinking and feeling on this particular day.]]

The days start to blend again as I attempt to countdown the days till my short vacation. Once that starts I get to finally relax as does my partner. The amount of sleep my partner has gotten is incredible and they deserve it dang it! This brings us to today, The last day of September 2021. This are changing at work and I'm not wholly sure of how I feel but I know it will be an interesting discussion for me to have with my therapist coming up. That's all I've got for now.. Hopefully I'll pop back in sooner to give more perspective on what its like living through all of this chaos. Just keep moving forward.

[skippyv20]

💜💜💜💜💜💜🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON ………… baby love ………… May-be,May-be not………Old man frozen ………… no world news here ………… Priti poodle ………groomed horns …………Roman mall……………… just a bit of a coin …………… Shell out greenness ……………… gay Dixon ?? ………no more questions.

Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

2/12/21

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂THANK YOU DEAR MM ANON🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂💜💜💜💜

JUST WOKE UP AND FOUND THIS. WOWZA TWO ITEMS IN ONE DAY. FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO LATE💜💜💜💜💜🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

FEBRUARY 13/20210124 HRS.

SEASON THREE RIDDLE #6

baby love ………… 

THIS IS IMMEDIATELY RECOGNIZABLE AS THE HEADING HOME FROM HOSPITAL OF PRINCESS EUGENIE, HER CUTEST HUSBAND JACK AND THEIR SWEET BABY BOY. YOU KIDS DO NOT NEED A LINK YOU HAVE SEEN THE PHOTIS OF THEM LOOKING SO WELL IN THEIR CAR. ONE THING I AM STUMPED ON IS WHY SHE STAYED SO LONG IN HOSPITAL L UNLESS THERE ARE ISSUES, IN 2021 IT IS, IN AND OUT, AT LEAST HERE. IT IS SAFER FOR BOTH, TO GET THEM OUT OF THE HOSPITAL ATMOSPHERE IF ALL IS WELL. NO MATTER, WE ARE ACHING TO KNOW HIS NAME, HAPPY FOR HOW WELL THEY LOOKED, SHE WAS GLOWING!!

May-be,May-be not………

AS WE SPOKE ABOUT IN THE PREVIOUS RIDDLE, FOLKS ARE BEING GIVEN A POTENTIAL NOD THAT SUMMER VACATIONS MAY NOT BE ALLOWED. THIS ARTICLE SPEAKS POSSIBLY OF MAY TRIPS TO IBIZA SPAIN. I THINK THAT IS THE MAY-BE , MAY-BE MOT. IH MM ANON YOU ARE SO CLEVER IT MUST TAKE YOU HOURS TO WRITE THESE. INFOR ONE AM VERY GREATFUL. 

https://www.express.co.uk/travel/articles/1397148/spain-holidays-ibiza-may-holiday-fco-travel-advice-spanish-news-latest

Old man frozen ………… 

WHERE I LIVE WE HAVE BEEN IN THE CLUTCHES OF A BEAST. IT IS THE WEATHER FROM THE NORTH C9ME DOWN AND IS CALLED THE DREADED POLAR VORTEX.WE ARE TALKING LOWS IN THE -30’S C WITH WINDCHILLS BETWEEN -40’S C AND -50S C.  IT IS BRUTAL. THE HOMELESS ARE ESPECIALLY AT RISK. SADLY AS SO OFTEN HAPPENS SOMEONE DIES DUE TO EXPOSURE, AS IT IS CALLED HERE. A MAN, IN THE PRAIRIES, PROVINCE ENTITLED SASKATCHEWAN HAS SUCCUMBED TO THE ELEMENTS SADLY. SO OFTEN IT IS A FIRST NATIONS INDIVIDUAL.  MY CONDOLENCES AND PRAYERS TO HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😞😞😞 WEATHER IS NO JOKE. 

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/punichy-sask-george-gordon-first-nation-man-freezes-death-1.5905820

no world news here ………… 

NO NEED TO LOOK THIS UP. ON WEDNESDAY MY COUNTRY ZONE, CHINA ANNOUNCED IT WAS BANNING BBC WORLD. THEY ARE ERASING ANY AND ALL TRACES OF BRITISH INFORMATION AND CONTACT. WHEN THEY WERE GIVEN BACK HONG KONG PER AGREEMENT SEVERAL YEARS AGO, IT WAS WITH THE UNDERSTANDING AND PROMISE OF A ONE COUNTRY TWO GOVERNMENT SYSTEM. WELL HOW LONG DID THAT LAST? THEY WERE GENTLE AT FIRST THEM BOOM SENT IN THE MILITARY. I WONDER  IF SIR JAMES DYSON, WHO MOVED HIS HOME LOCK STOCK AND BARREL, AS THEY USED TO SAY IN THE OLD WEST, TO HONG KONG IS STILL THERE OR HAS HE FLED BACK TO ENGLAND OR POINTS ELSEWHERE. I MUST LOOK THAT UP. NO LOOKING UP NOR LINK NEEDED HERE EITHER. 

Priti poodle ………

MUST BE PRITI PATEL. OFFUCIAL  PHOTOS OF MINISTERS NOW CAN INCLUDE THEIR DOG OR CAT, WHAT? BOJO DEFENDS PUBLIC MONEY, KIDS, P U B L I C ££££££££ FOR THEIR PET PHOTOS. THIS IS MADNESS, CUTE BUT MADNESS. 

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-56015861

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/from-matt-hancockapoo-to-priti-poodle-our-ministers-havent-got-a-scooby-doo-h253090pw

groomed horns …………

THIS LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A CROSS BETWEEN BRAVEHEART, SORRY SCOTLAND 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿, I SAY IT BECAUSE OF THE FACE PAINT AND DANIEL BOONE GOING BUCK WILD. I LEARNED FROM A KIND COMMENTER THAT THERE HAD  BEEN A HORRIBLE EVENT IN THE U.S. CAPITOL ON JANUARY 6/2021. I HAVE TOLD YOU KIDS I DROPPED  OFF THE PLANET FOR A FEW MONTHS,  I AM CERTAIN THERE ARE OTHER THINGS I MISSED. THIS CHAP IS NOW SAYING DONALD TRUMP ‘GROOMED HIM’. THAT IS THE SORT OF LANGUAGE USED TO DESCRIBE A VICTIM AND AGGRESSOR. 

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/us-capitol-rioters-lawyer-claims-he-was-groomed-by-president-trump-2lkwzc50k

Roman mall……………… 

SHOPPING MALLS WENT BIG IN THE LATE  80’S AND THE 1990’S. IT WAS GREAT FOR US IN THE WINTER. HOWEVER THEY ARE OUT OF FAVOUR, NOW WE HAVE STRIP MALLS. STORES AND RESTAURANTS ALL BUILT TOGETHER BUT NO COMMON HALLWAY. ANYHOW. LET US VIRTUALLY HEAD OFF TO ITALY 🇮🇹 SHALL WE? RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WANT TO COME ALONG!😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣. WE ALL KNOW HADRIANS WALL ACROSS THE U.K. BUILT CENTURIES AGO. HERE THERE ARE CHEEKILY CALLING IT HADRIANS MALL😂😂😂🤣🤣🙂. EXCAVATIONS HAVE UNEARTHED, OF ALL THINGS, WHAT APPEARS TO BE A SHOPPING MALL😮😮😮! 

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/early-shopping-centre-gives-a-glimpse-of-life-in-ancient-rome-r6plxtcfv

PART OF THE ARTICLE….

An imperial palace in Rome that housed one of the earliest examples of a shopping centre is to reopen for the first time in 40 years after repairs to prevent it crashing on to the Forum below.

When visitors are allowed to return after lockdown, they will for the first time be able fully to explore the purpose-built, underground shopping centre created on the Palatine Hill by Emperor Hadrian in the 2nd century.

just a bit of a coin …………… 

BITCOIN, STILL GROWING, ALTERNATE MONEY. GOLD HAS BEEN GROWING AT RATE OF  STAGGERING VALUES , SILVER IS ALSO STARTING TO CLIMB QUICKLY. NOW BITCOIN IS CONTINUING AS WELL. PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR SECURE AND SOLID  PLACES TO INVEST THEIR MONEY. 

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/12/how-much-youd-have-today-if-you-invested-100-in-bitcoin-in-2009.html

Shell out greenness ……………… 

SHELL, A MASSIVE PETROLEUM COMPANY US TRYING TO SHINE UP IT’S IMAGE AS A FOSSIL FUEL BASED COMPANY. THEY ARE ANNOUNCING THE BILLIONS THEY ARE AND HSVE INVESTED IN GREEN ENERGY.

https://energy.economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/renewable/shell-says-to-invest-5-6-billion-annually-in-green-energy/80860494

gay Dixon ?? ………

VERY INTERESTING. DIXON OF DOCK, WAS A BRIT POLICE SHOW BETWEEN 1955 - 1976. BASED ON A REAL POLICEMAN WHO OPENLY LIVED A VERY ACTIVE HOMOSEXUAL LIFE. IT WAS ILLEGAL THEN! HE TRAVELLED IN ELITE CIRCLES DESPITE BEING, I BELIEVE A BEAT COP IR BOBBY. YOU KNOW KIDS, IN THE DAYS BEFORE SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE 24 HOURS NEWS CYCLE.  WHERE EVERYTHING IS BREAKING NEWS CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC, PEOPLE JUST LIVED. 

THIS IS AN AMAZING STORY. 

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9255561/How-inspiration-TV-bobby-officer-no-secret-sexuality.html

no more questions.

MR TRUMP’S LAWYERS HAVE RESTED THEIR CASE AT THE SENATE. IT US ALL BUT A CERTAINTY THE VOTE WILL BE IN HIS FAVOUR UNLESS MANY REPUBLICANS SUDDENLY BREAK RANK.

https://www.cbsnews.com/live-updates/trump-impeachment-trial-day-4-2021-02-12/

Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

2/12/21

ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES 

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

Thank you PG!  Much appreciated....😊💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

2/12/21

[nerdyfangirl67]

Everywhere But On - Criminal Minds Reader Insert

Pairing: Spencer x reader

Warning: Angst (so sorry guys but I’ve been riding the angst train lately and this one doesn’t have a fluff ending), language

Word count: 2028

The reader comes to realize that despite the way Spencer acts around her, he doesn’t feel for her any more than as a friend. She can’t move on, so she finds herself traveling, where she realizes that she will always love him.

A/N: Okay you guys, this one just came to me after listening to Everywhere But On by Matt Stell. I am sorry for the angst ending but I just couldn’t bring myself to write another fluff ending because sometimes shit happens and it doesn’t work out the way we want. Also, I did a little crossover, you have to really squint, so I hope ya’ll are okay with it. As always, I love requests and would gladly write something you guys want to see!

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” The words float around in your head on constant repeat, relentless in their torment, just as they have been for the past three months. Those words would hurt coming from anyone, but they hurt all the more coming from your best friend, with whom you had been quietly in love with for the last year.

It wasn’t something that happened all of a sudden, your love for Spencer. But it was something that you had identified one casual Saturday while binge-watching Doctor Who with Spencer at his apartment. Sure, you knew you loved him as a friend; that much was obvious and had been for quite some time. What you hadn’t realized, at least until that Saturday in February, was that you had gone from loving him to being in love with him.

And if someone had asked you what it was that you loved about him, you would struggle to find specific things you loved about him. Because truthfully, you loved him for all that he was, is, and could be. You loved each part of him separately and you loved him as a whole. You had never loved someone so deeply and wholly before, and despite the fact that this should scare you, you couldn’t find yourself anxious for any reason when you had realized you were in love with Spencer. 

You weren’t scared about being in love with Spencer Reid because you had never once felt as though he didn’t already love you.  Sure the two of you would goofily sign ‘I love you’ to each other at random moments, but neither of you had ever said that you were in love with the other. Everything you did for each other echoed the feelings you shared for the other. Yet, despite knowing all this, you couldn’t be sure if he loved you the same way you loved him. Because of that, and an increasing, irrational fear that you might actually lose Spencer, you decided to tell him, a decision you would come to regret for a long time.

You had naively thought if you told him, he would be excited, maybe even pull you in for a hug (which he never did outside of either your apartment or his) or a kiss (if you were really lucky) and tell you he felt the same way. Instead, he responded with ten little words you would never forget. 

“I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Simple words really. Yet you hadn’t been expecting, nor prepared, for them and they left you reeling. You hadn’t known how to respond so you had nodded your head quickly, already feeling the tears forming in your eyes, and ran. You barely stopped to grab your purse from your desk, completely forgetting about your jacket, before dashing out of the building. You hadn’t gone home, for fear that Spencer might have decided to explain himself, which you were sure he would try to do and was waiting for you at your apartment as a result. So you had waited until you knew Spencer would be at work, having already called Hotch and requested your vacation time, before you returned to your apartment. You didn’t stay long, just long enough to pack a suitcase, before you were back in your car, driving without a destination. 

——-

You hadn’t planned on being gone a long time, just enough to clear your head and figure out how to get over your very unfriendlike feelings for Spencer. But a week quickly turned into two, which soon became three weeks, and then a month which soon became three. 

You spent your time putting space between you and home, or more specifically you and Spencer, going to all the places you had bookmarked on the Internet and pinned on Pinterest as “someday” activities. You saw the Grand Canyon and Niagra Falls. You visited Yellowstone National Park and the Everglades. You stopped on the east coast and the west coast. Yet, anywhere you went, all you could see or think of was Spencer.

You saw him in the enthusiastic way the guide told you about the history of The Alamo. You thought of him when you visited, and viewed impressive books, at the Phillips Exeter Academy Library in New Hampshire. You felt him when an episode of Doctor Who came on TV late one evening in your deteriorated motel room.

It didn’t take you long to realize that no matter where you went, the memory of Spencer and your feelings for him would be close behind. You knew that you could travel anywhere but you couldn’t move on from him. You had never loved someone in the way you loved Spencer and you didn’t know how you would move forward from him, or even if you wanted to.

——

After three months of trying to find an escape from reality, you realize it's time. Time for you to go home and face the music. Time for you to push aside your one-sided feelings and move on. And as much as you recognized this, you knew it was far easier said than done. Because moving on meant leaving him, your best friend and the true love of your life, behind. It meant watching him move on and find that perfect girl, a girl who wasn’t you.

You had come to the realization that you would never be able to work side by side with Spencer, knowing that he didn’t feel for you as you felt for him. With that in mind, you knew the only thing you could do was ask for a transfer. You didn’t want to leave the area, but if it wasn’t possible for you to get placed with another division, like the White-Collar Crime task force, then you would have to. You had texted Hotch earlier in the day, asking if he was available for you to come in to talk to him. He has replied with a simple, “I’m here doing paperwork for the foreseeable future.”

You notice it’s just after five and figure there’s no time like the present to talk to Hotch. It’s a twenty-minute drive to the office from where you are and you spend the entire drive wondering what you’d do if you run into Spencer. 

By the time you park in the garage attached to the FBI building, you still are no closer to knowing how to act if you see Spencer. You choose to take the stairs, to avoid any possible run-ins, and hurriedly make your way to Hotch’s office. A soft knock and a stiff “Come in” later and you are sitting across from Hotch.

In usual Hotch fashion, he is quick to get straight to the point. “Am I correct in assuming this conversation has something to do with your three-month absence?”

His words are like a slap in the face, although you are sure that is not how he meant for them to sound. You hadn’t realized how truly juvenile your disappearing act had been until now. You dip your head as you respond. “I would like to start by apologizing. I let you and the team down and that was never my intention.” Your voice is soft as you feel a wave of guilt wash over you.

His eyes soften as he gives you a tight nod and asks, “And what was your intention?”

You clear your throat as you weigh the negatives of telling Hotch the truth. But in the end, you choose to tell him everything, in hopes that he will be able to better understand your decision to transfer. “As you probably know, Spencer and I are close. But I, uh, came to the realization that I felt for him more than a best friend would. And I wrongly thought that it was two-sided. I poorly decided to tell him, only to have him tell me he didn’t feel that way, and it was devastating. I figured the best way to move on was to be away from him. And three months later, I realize that it will never happen, me moving on.” You pause, taking a deep breath as you feel dejection rise in your chest and tears threatening to fall. “I can’t work beside him knowing that I not only lost my best friend, but I also will never have him in the way I truly want to. So that is why I’m here. I would like to request a transfer, preferably one that takes place immediately. I don’t care about the division I’m put in, I just can’t stay in the BAU Hotch.” You finish brokenly, your heart squeezing at the thought that you would have to leave behind those who you consider family, for a fresh start somewhere else. 

Hotch stares at you for a long time after you finish your improvised speech. You can feel him profiling you, but you don’t say anything because you feel as though you aren’t in the position to. Finally, he nods his head and says, “As much as I hate to lose you from the team, I can understand why you are asking for this request. I will get started on the paperwork tonight and you will hopefully have a new position by tomorrow midday.”

As you stand to leave, Hotch stands as well. You think he is going to shake your hand so you stick yours out. What you didn’t expect was for him to pull you into a gentle hug. After a moment, you hug him back. “It doesn’t get better, but each day makes the pain a little less.” He whispers into your ear. You squeeze him a little tighter in response before pulling back. You give him a sad smile before offering your thanks and leave.

You decide to visit a pub three blocks from your apartment for a much-needed drink. It had been a lot harder than you thought to ask for that transfer and the realization that you were leaving behind your family left you swimming in guilt and sorrow. 

The pub was dark and smelled of stale beer. There were a few people sitting at the bar, but more were spread out at the tables. It was later than when you usually came, as you had stopped at your apartment and unloaded your suitcase, changed, and then walked here.

You choose an empty seat at the less populated side of the bar and order your favorite drink. It went down quickly and before you knew it you were ordering another. By the time you were on your third drink, you were starting to forget why you felt the way you did in the first place. 

A deep, sensual voice sounds next to you. “Hey doll, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing drinking alone?” You turn to see a tall man with smoothed down brown hair and emerald green eyes standing beside you. He had on dress pants and a simple button down that fit him in all the right places, with a brown corduroy suit jacket. You grin stupidly, thanks to the alcohol coursing through your system, at his pick up line before answering, “Drowning my sorrows, I guess.” 

“Well, someone as fine as you shouldn’t have sorrows to drown.” He smoothly answers, causing you to smile again.

“Maybe you can help me then handsome.” You respond, truly shocking yourself with your wonton answer.

He takes a seat beside you, extending a hand. “Tony DiNozzo. What’s your name doll?”

And with that, you find someone who truly helps you forget the lack of one Spencer Reid in your life, at least for the night. Because you knew, no matter how hard you tried, Spencer Reid would always be the one you couldn’t move on from.

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019

*arrives a month late*... Happy 2021 to all of you, my dear followers! *raises a glass* It seems that my tendency to finish my artwork or personal posts on time has only gotten worse over time (I blame work *lol*). Oh well, better late than never, since there are things I would still like to take with me from this extraordinary year of 2020.

It is cringeworthy that I have two huge red X-s this year. But after I'd put these puzzle pieces together, I remembered far too well what was going on in my (work) life at the time, so it's completely understandable why I didn't have the time nor the energy to draw at all during those two months.

What were those typical statistics that I wrote about again to compare the years? *goes to read last year's post*.. Oh, right! In 2020, I managed to finish 3 full digital drawings (from the months of April, July and December) as well as work on several sketches. I wrote 28,154 words worth of fanfiction (oohh, that's a lot better than previous year), plus 3,126 words in English (I dare say I wrote an equal amount in Estonian) for the prompts I got during UYLD (making the total 31,280 words, which is quite impressive!).

I finished reading the 1st Kyoshi novel in the evening of the 20th and slightly past midnight on the 21st December (barely before the holidays, but I set this goal for myself and I did it!). Am already looking forward to starting with the 2nd part some time this year. Besides that, I ordered and received all the other new Avatar books that came out (3rd part of "Ruins of the Empire", "Katara and the Pirate's Silver", "Legacy of the Fire Nation") as well as BOTH Avatar series DVD sets (I still can't believe I found these on sale on some random online store in Estonia, but these are now among my most prized possessions!).

I finally started my Avatar rewatch last January, but merely got to the Ba Sing Se episodes in Book 2 (I need to continue with "The Earth King") and now it's been 5 YEARS since I last saw Korra. Reading through my journal personal posts from last year, I know far too well that it's not about rushing through it as fast as possible. Instead, I should enjoy the ride and continue watching the episodes when I'm well rested and in the right mood. That way I'll end up feeling much more at peace.

As for the entire year as a whole? I don't think anyone in this world of ours was prepared for the way this decade would begin - with an uncontrollable pandemic, the virus of which is randomly attacking and threatening to wipe out the weakest amongst us. If any of you (or even if you know someone who) have lost a loved one to this plague, there is not much else I can offer but my sincerest condolences! Me, my family, friends and colleagues seem to have managed to avoid catching it so far. *spits 3 x over her shoulder*

I had such high hopes for this year in so many ways. Event-wise I was looking forward to watching the Eurovision Song Contest in May (where Uku Suviste was supposed to represent Estonia for the 1st time ever after so many unfortunate failures to get selected as the winner of our local competition), the European Football Championships in June (asking my colleagues which countries they support, perhaps make fun bets / guesses with them to see whose team would win the matches), the Tokyo Olympic Games in July-August, the President of Estonia (Mrs. Kersti Kaljulaid) coming to visit my hometown to celebrate our Victory Day by taking part in the parade together with the Defence Forces (after 15 years *sigh*)...

I will always remember my last big event, which took place when life used to be "normal", so to say. It was the 102nd anniversary of Estonia on the 24th of February, when I took part of all the most important celebrations in Tallinn on our Independence Day, FULL-TIME (whenever I scroll through my Facebook timeline, I see the photos I uploaded of that day, my heart melts and I smile fondly). But the day after that.. utter hell broke loose. We had our first infected person in the country.

I will also remember the last day I went to work in "normal" conditions. Friday, the 13th of March (typically my lucky day-number combination): I missed the tram I wanted to get on in the morning, at work my team received great news that one of our colleague's family had grown bigger by a new tiny member the day before, we had our last team lunch together, we discussed the safety measures that we should take and joked about what might happen next week, I took the bus home instead of the tram (as the tram's route came from the airport and that place was considered to be more dangerous and with a higher risk of catching this virus).. It was another 2.5 weeks later by then (since the 25th of February) - Estonia (along with the rest of Europe) went into full lockdown.

The beginning was frightening and people were on edge, nobody really knew what to do nor what was gonna happen next. But in time, things began to shake into place and everybody developed a comfortable routine for remote work, including figuring out how to get everyday things done (such as grocery shopping). I found solace in taking photographs of various beautiful bird species, who began to fly around and serenaded me during spring, visiting the trees around my "nest" i.e. rented apartment (with a pair of them ACTUALLY building a nest in the chestnut tree right beside my window, thus turning me into a protective godmother of their chicks).

To be honest, I was awestruck by the positive / surprising aftermath of this lockdown: how the world / environment began to heal itself from the pollution that was normally caused by humans. I was taken aback by how dead silent our usually loud capital became in my neighbourhood (I could only hear trams passing by my house according to their schedules, practically no cars whatsoever, streets were empty of people.. absolute silence).

By May-June, things started to look up in Estonia (as well as the rest of Europe) and people were allowed to start travelling / moving around more freely. During my vacation in July, I managed to go to my last (open air) event (for the rest of the year) under these new "corona" conditions and ended up having a blast at the Open Farm Days in my home county for the first time.

Our country's shining moment came during the first week of September, when we hosted the first ever Rally Estonia of the World Rally Championship (WRC), where our very own Ott Tänak and Martin Järveoja won. The event was so well organized and successful that nobody caught the virus nor did the spectators / participants spread it to others, which surely must've helped in ensuring us a spot in the WRC calendar for 2021 as well.

The remainder of the year was rather dull, with the exception of the US Presidential elections in November, when we were all holding our breaths that Joe Biden would win (congratulations, my American friends!). This eventually led to the painful downfall of THE WORST government the Republic of Estonia has ever had, and to the rise of our first female Prime Minister, Kaja Kallas (both happening in January 2021, I couldn't believe it all spiralled so soon, ha-ha!).

Anyways, during the last 4 months, work was very stressful and driving me nuts, so badly that when I eventually went on vacation before Christmas, I had a slight anxiety disorder that wouldn't let me relax for several days (luckily it went away just as quickly once I began to take it easy and managed to get some proper rest / sleep).

In hindsight, I kind of get this weird feeling as if I saw this whole thing coming, given how actively I was living my life throughout 2019. My final year of the 2010's was so full of important events and personal achievements. It's almost as if something mysterious inside was driving me, telling me to visit all the places and do all the things I wanted to do, cause I wouldn't have this sort of a chance again for a very long time.

This must be the main reason why I am thankful for 2020 for going the way it did. Sure, I'm disappointed that a lot of events were cancelled, that so many people have had to leave this world so soon due to this unpredictable disease.. But I think there are so many lessons to take from what came out of all of this. I believe the world needed some sort of a restart or break, given in what direction we were headed (politically, economically, environmentally, socially etc.). I'm just sorry it's had to come with such a high price of innocent lives.

I have even higher hopes for 2021, given how amazingly January has already passed for me and my country, and what is to come in my hometown in February. Let's take the lessons learned from 2020 with us and keep on heading back towards the "normal" lifestyle we used to know. Except this time, let's improve our ways, put all the hatred behind us, be more considerate, keep a distance, stay safe, but still try to make the world a better place for everyone. Thank you so much for reading, for remaining by my side, and for your support and love throughout the years, my friends! I hope to see you all alive and healthy at the end of the white metal ox year of 2021! *virtual hugs*

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 127

March came too soon. “Vacation” was over before you knew it, and you honestly weren’t sure if you were all balanced. But that didn’t really matter. The world was not going to wait. On the 7th you were scheduled to be Talbot’s personal puppy as he addressed the United Nations. On the 12th you had a keynote speech about Stark Industries’ release of the Intellicrops project at the NYC Tech Convention. And before that… 

On the 3rd and 5th, you were now reading, sitting at your office desk, the Avengers had planned raids on two suspected Hydra bases. They’d gone on one without you, at the very end of February. You already sensed the team hadn’t been happy with your decision to step away and keep away while they went out. Guilt was heavy enough, but really it was the disappointment you’d pretended not to notice as you took hold of your briefing folder on your first day back to work. 

While Tony and Bruce had had some other pressing projects to wrap up before they could start sweeping for the scepter, they couldn’t put it off forever. And, really, they shouldn’t. The team being mad at you was really nothing compared to what was going on behind the scenes. What Hydra was doing with that weapon, and the hundreds other they’d stolen… you were so inconsequential compared to all that. But. If that were true… 

Then why had you spent half a month at home? You figured that was what everyone was asking themselves. Each other. Tony, even. You didn’t have an answer for them other than your own cowardice and unhealthy state. But even that was probably not enough. 

All of it had to be put aside. It was time to go back to work now. That’s why you put your CEO duties aside that morning to go over the extensive briefing of what you’d missed. Tony had secured some rogue SHIELD properties that were meant to help the team. A few Quinjets that he was making modifications to. There was also some vague mention of a building upstate for housing purposes. You recognized it as an already owned plot of land. Maybe one of Stark Industries’ old facilities? Tony hadn’t detailed it so it must have not been super important. It was being gut renovated right now. 

While Tony and Bruce had thought finding the scepter would be difficult, it apparently had been quite a challenge. Not only were Hydra now scrambling signals, probably in an effort of foresight that eventually what was left of SHIELD or the Avengers would come after that. The scepter, according to the report, already threw out low levels that were difficult to trace, and only when it was active. So all of that culminated in a few hotspots that the team then had to go check out. There was a detailed list and some intel on every base the Avengers were scheduled to go hit. 

Something you supposed you should have read without missing a detail. But something else was bothering your brain. None of these bases were on United States soil. Which… well. That was a problem. Considering your other problem that you were currently facing. 

In your extended downtime, a report had also come in from Ellis. Not too long ago. You wondered if this Enhanced Ambassadorship was all for show. He seemed not to care too much about it. Pulling you on so soon without a moment’s notice… basically telling you you had no say- and that all you had to do was sit by a general while he talked above you… none of it felt good. But what more could you do?

“LUNA, open a secure line with President Ellis.” Opening up one of the holo-windows on your desk so you could start a conference. The Avengers had already hit one base in somebody else’s country. You needed to deal with this now. 

He left you on hold longer than you would have liked. But eventually his face popped up on the link and he looked nothing short of disgruntled. “This better not be about the conference next week.” Apparently so sure you were just unhappy enough to start finding your way out of things.

The truth was, of course, you were. But he must have had no sense of your loyalty for your family, if he really thought you’d start reneging now. “No. It’s about something a little more pressing.” 

“You have ten minutes.” 

“It’s... slightly related.” Admitting this, trying to ease yourself. Regain the control you used to feel in situations like this. So suddenly it had all started slipping away. When he bristled you attempted a smile. “SHIELD left a lot more mess behind than you’re aware of. Hydra made off with a lot of sensitive material.” 

This put a silence into him. A cold one of consideration. He sat forward at his desk. “How sensitive? Are we talking about-”

“Weapons. Yes, sir.” 

“...what kind of weapons?” 

“Extremely dangerous ones.” Trying to just toe the line here. Right now he didn’t exactly need to know, and you kind of wanted to test the waters on his trust of you. 

He regarded you for a long moment. “...and what do you want me to do about it?” 

“The Avengers are taking care of it.” Sitting a bit straighter in your seat, clasping your hands together lightly. 

Realization sparked in his eyes. “On foreign soil.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“You want me to authorize your people to invade countries to get this weaponry back. That’s what you called me for?” Getting just a touch angry. Probably because this was a little too coincidental, what with the meeting with the United Nations seven days away… 

“I don’t need you to authorize The Avengers to do anything. We’re going. Hydra stole United States property. The Avengers, who operate for the good of all humanity, but just happen to do so in the United States, are going to find them, apprehend them, and get it back. And I’m sure any country Hydra is found hiding inside of, with this dangerous stolen property, would be quick to denounce them. Don’t you think?” Finding your toughness and strength still holding steady after your little meltdown. Thank god. 

If you couldn’t do this what could you do? 

You shared a long gaze with the President as he considered all this. If the Avengers got caught doing this, it could have huge repercussions, of course. Foreign countries might not like that enhanced individuals were using powers on their property. But not on their citizens. On Hydra. So the both of you had to come to an agreement, now, that if your team was found out doing this that you were both sure you could talk down a country from war in only the face of bad press of not wanting to be associated with Hydra. And not wanting to look like an enemy of the Avengers. 

The ones who saved not just New York from aliens, but the world. Those ones. You were sure the team had enough good press still behind it. It had been a few years, but it was still pretty fresh. 

But Ellis had to agree on that, too. Right now. 

And, thankfully, “...I appreciate you telling me about this. I figure you could have operated in the dark.” 

It wasn’t worth telling him that the team had already gone on one mission, and had you decided the President of the United States wasn’t worth informing just this morning, nobody would have. He didn’t need to know any of that. You gave him a nod. “I’m going over the UN stuff now. I’ll be on my best behavior while I’m there.” 

“...they don’t need to know about any of what you’re doing. Nobody does right now.” Staring you down. Apprehension was easy to sense, even from so far away. Easily read on his face. “Do we understand each other?” 

Basically telling you: Don’t get caught. 

“Understood, sir.” 

                                                     ---

One terrible meeting out of the way for the day, you figured you should put your attentions into actual business things. That served you well, meetings and conferences and emails until about two PM. At that time you found yourself in the private lounge with your team (nicer than a small conference room for sure), as everyone took a seat on whatever couch was nearest them and pretended to go over their briefings while paying more attention to what had been stocked for lunch. 

It was strange, the isolation you felt. You also hoped it wasn’t on purpose. Even Tony had cozied up in a different corner of the room, perhaps absent-minded to you sitting by your lonesome as he chattered with Bruce about who knew what. But maybe you were part of the problem, too stuck in your head to notice anyone trying to pay attention to you. 

Steve took a seat beside you, startling you pretty hard. “Hey- sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

“It’s okay.” Assuring him quickly. 

He regarded you for an uncomfortable amount of time. “You alright? You seem pretty lost.”

“I just have a lot on my mind.” Easy to say as he could never comprehend just how much at this point. 

“I’m sure the feeling is mutual right about now.” 

“Listen up everyone.” Maria called everyone’s attention. Which was good. You weren’t sure how to respond to Steve. Whether to maybe find gratitude in the sameness of being overwhelmed or to feel annoyed that he was trying to compare notes. “If the raids in the next few days don’t prove successful, we’ll continue to our next two hotspots in the same on-off calendar days. According to Banner and Stark we just got a few more hits come in, so we need everyone to be prepared.” 

That would, of course, mean that the team was planning a strike on the 7th of March. And. Well… 

You stood. “I have an announcement.” Drawing all eyes your way as you moved closer to that focal point she was standing in. She stepped aside, crossing her arms. Nervousness and agitation both gripped the room. “President Ellis has basically ordered me to take the position of the United States’ Enhanced Forces Ambassador.” Already the room erupted in heated voices. “Alright- one at a time-” 

Clint was the first wise one to figure out a spot, raising his hand. So when you pointed his way, “That sounds very made up.” 

“It is.” Dry as you answered. “But the President made it up. So I don’t really have a choice.” 

Natasha half raised a hand. “Let’s say you did have a choice.” Asking what the alternatives were that had been presented to you. Trying to get all the information on this situation. As always. 

“I don’t.” Firm about this. “But if I had said no there was pretty much a threat that the President might think about disavowing us to the United Nations. Which is particularly important, considering we’re all about border crossing these days. Don’t you agree?” Not asking her specifically, sweeping a gaze around the room. 

Steve was the next one to speak. “And you have to report to him directly about all our activity now?” 

“No. That wasn’t part of the deal.” It wasn’t, so it didn’t matter if you already had done that earlier that morning.

Maria regarded you. “So what was part of the deal?” The accusatory nature of this really rubbed you the wrong way. 

You had to steady yourself to not get angry. But it wasn’t your voice that spread across the room. It was Tony’s. He spoke calmly but pointedly as he made his way slowly over to you, “The deal was she sits on a council with no authority and basically princess-waves to the United Nations to make them feel better so that we all get to stay in business. And it was either that or jail time for everyone in this room when a foreign country remembers what the word terrorist means the next time one of us gets caught on camera on their soil.” He was by your side as he let a small silence weight what he said next. “Anyone got a problem with that?” 

Steve’s eyes were down when he was the first to speak after all that. “Is that where you’ve been since last month?” 

It was hard to know what vexed him so much about your disappearance. Maybe it was that you’d chosen politics over getting, what the team considered, work done? “I really was just taking a break.” 

Thor shuffled his shoulders. “Well the time for breaks is over. The longer the scepter is in Hydra hands the more danger it poses to your planet.” 

Their disappointment in you was easily felt. Like a fresh slap. “I know. And I’m committed to getting it back. But I can’t go on the 7th. I have a meeting with the United Nations then.” 

Yet again, a flare of upset from Steve brought your eyes his way just as he opened his mouth. “Were you even gonna tell us that if we hadn’t planned for a raid then?” 

You had to clamp down. Extremely hard. Showing nothing but a meager amount of disgust as your brows knit together. “Of course I was.” How could he even ask you something like that? “But I guess since the dates got ahead of me, you’ll just have to trust that I would have.” Meeting his eyes, not glaring, just… openly regarding him. 

He was the first one to break, head dropping in a nod. “I trust you.” But there was a sore sense of guilt here that filled you almost to the brim. 

...he really didn’t trust you anymore? 

“Good.” Just a little defensively, unable to help yourself. But the way everyone in the room was staring at you… you crossed your arms, holding to yourself. “Look- guys- I don’t know what changed. We’re a team, you know? A family. I don’t like walking on eggshells around you. I’m not hiding anything. I’m trying to do what’s best for the team. Always. And if over the past few months that stopped becoming clear, then I’d like to talk about it. Because we can’t carry on this way.” Almost short of pleading with everyone in that room. “We fought aliens. I know this other stuff has been tough, but we’re tougher.” 

You couldn’t start falling to pieces over every little thing. You needed them to be with you. To come together. It couldn’t go on like this. 

It would have been entirely too much to sit in silence after going off like that, so you were intensely grateful when Natasha aimed a smile up your way. “I’ve never questioned your judgment. I’m pretty sure nobody in this room has. But. Let nobody feel free to correct me.” Her levity eased the tension pulling the room taught. 

Bruce’s voice held just a note of timid as he fumbled with his glasses in his hands. “I know SHIELD brought us in with folders and… some even with thinly veiled threats…” There was a wry smile, aimed Natasha’s way- one she reciprocated, even. Interesting. “-but. I don’t know of anyone else after the fact that put more care into what we are now. Or more work.” 

Tony held up a finger. “I’d like to request we pair the amount of work going in as a Team Stark venture.” A humorous round of boo’s hissed around the room and Clint even chucked a throw pillow Tony’s way. He scoffed. “Alright. Message received. Don’t ask me for more suit upgrades.” 

The air in the room was much warmer than when you’d sat down, and it was very nice. One less thing to worry about. Murmurs of approval seemed to be going around. While it would have been nice to hope this was the last semi-scuffle all of you got into, you doubted it. But… teams fought, right? That was normal. As long as you could just be the big adult and talk things through with them… hopefully that would be enough every time. 

                                                    ---

It was absolutely too much to ask that either mission would be the one that ended things. Too much to ask that on either of those two missions you actually found the scepter and the stolen Chitauri parts and called it a day. Too much. Neither mission ended in a critical success. But there was at least one silver lining to both. 

Getting to know how your team operated in close quarters was really a blessing in disguise. They’d found their stride on the first mission it seemed. Were able to bounce off one another with no problem, communicate with no problem. It was easy fitting into a world with this compact team. 

Before every send off, Tony and Steve would go over key details. Tony would usually brandish his knowledge about and pull bunker info and relevant entry points. And then Steve would direct the entire team where they needed to be. Once out on the battlefield things were hectic and not everything went to plan. Hydra was more than well enough equipped to try and defend themselves.

Which was telling enough. They were supposed to be a dead faction, most captured and being tried for their crimes. Yet this organization hosted multitudes of soldiers and weaponry that- while couldn’t stand up to the might of the Avengers- did a damn good job of at least defending their base for more than thirty minutes at a time. 

You learned that Bruce had been held back in the jet, agreed upon by all parties. Unless a “Code Green” went into effect. Which would mean Hulk was a necessary player on the field. On the second mission this got utilized, when a few tanks rolled up on the ground team and you and Tony were busy trying to take down a bunker shield. By the time you’d gotten back with empty hands to show for it, Natasha had ventured off to try and quell the Hulk’s anger and turn the tide. 

They had prepped- already- for what life looked like in your absence. Maybe it was for the best. You weren’t always available. You wouldn’t always be around to try and calm Hulk down. Even if you were in battle with them, there was no guaranteeing your being up to it. This was good, you told yourself. That they had all these second options. That Steve and Tony led the charge in your single absence so much so that when you sat back the next two times it just felt like… normal. 

...maybe it was good, you continued to tell yourself on the next flight back on the Quinjet. Maybe… maybe it meant that eventually they wouldn’t need you anymore in this capacity. ...hopefully they’d let go of Tony, too. Maybe. Someday. ...someday you could step away and feel good about it. Even in Ultron’s absence, although that would have helped immensely. Maybe one day… retirement wouldn’t seem so far fetched. 

                                                    ---

The morning of the 7th you saw the team off on the flight deck just before sunrise. Tony was the second to last to load in. There seemed to be no more hard feelings about you missing a raid, which was good. Because you literally could not miss this meeting. With a small pat to his chest and a kiss to his cheek, “Please find the thing.” 

His grin was weak at best. “No one wants to find the thing more than I do.” Putting an arm around you, he pulled you close for a tight half hug. “Besides, I want all the glory of bringing it home. Obviously.” 

Thor passed you both and clapped Tony so hard on the shoulder it bounced you back a little. “We can discuss glories after we’ve secured the scepter.” Boots falling hard on the up-ramp, though he seemed in a good mood despite his antics. 

Tony sighed and gave you a small shrug. “Duty calls. Dinner later?” 

“If I get through this meeting in one piece.” 

“You’ll do great.” Hands rubbing up and down your arms a few times over as if he could soothe away all your jitters. He left you with a too-short goodbye kiss. And then you watched, holding yourself still as the jet pulled up and into the sky. Your team aboard. While you… 

You had to stay behind. And get ready in a sharp suit and a clear mental state. Because this meeting wasn’t going to be easy. Even if you were expected to talk as little as possible. Media were parked out front, as always. You made sure to clip on your absolutely ridiculous EFA badge to your jacket as you stepped out onto the sidewalk of the United Nations Headquarters. Head up, ignoring the press crying your name. 

Really, it could have been a normal day. On the docket was a greeting lunch, where all these representatives like to lounge around lavishly. Eat things that were way too expensive, and no doubt gossip. You were no stranger to these environments. Really, if left alone, you probably could have excelled here far more than you would have liked. 

But as you stepped into the private lunchroom after checking in, Talbot was the first to greet you. “Good to see you, ma’am.” He seemed agreeable and in good spirits. Probably a good thing. 

“And you, sir.” Unfortunately, now that he was at your side… the swallowing of pride had to begin. “Where would you like me?” 

“Well, just between you and I, the cool kids have a table I like to sit at.” Grinning, but you weren’t actually sure if he was making a joke or not. 

You tried very hard not to visibly scrutinize him. “You have a speech prepared for later? Or are you more of an off-the-cuff kind of man?” 

He cleared his throat, adjusting his coat with all his wondrous battle-won splendors dangling upon it. “A little of both. Don’t worry. I don’t need you to speak.” 

“That’s never been clearer.” Allowing yourself a minimal amount of sass. Otherwise you might explode. 

Luckily, he seemed to let it slide. Though his slight flair of annoyance clued you in to the fact that that was probably the only one you’d get. “Come on. A lot of people want to meet you.” 

“Lucky me.” Okay. Maybe two. 

Talbot was right, though. There was a strange mix in the air, as eyes followed you around the room. Definitely at least in your favor, as most of the electricity you sensed in the air was excitement- though there were slight parts anxiousness as well. You supposed that couldn’t be helped. Until you personally made the rounds to each table and explained why you were here- it might have appeared as though an Avenger was escorting a general around the United Nations. Kind of sloppy optics but…

You hadn’t been asked for your opinion on this event or how to host it. So that’s how things went. Once you shook enough hands and people started playing the telephone game on their own, the air definitely shifted a bit more comfortably. Though you bought food and sat at the cool kid’s table, you picked at it, kind of slightly overwhelmed with a little too much. There were too many people here feeling too many things in this large yet enclosed space.

And despite the situation needing your immediate attention, your thoughts were with Tony. With the team. They’d reacted negatively at first to the thought of you being here, but you wanted to be anywhere else. A thought that had never struck you so hard until Talbot nudged you to get up because brunch time was over. Enough people had sipped at mimosas for long enough to be pliable for what was likely a boring speech. 

So now it was time to stand at General Talbot’s side while he waxed poetic about this and that. The room that they conferenced everyone into wasn’t quite as grand as the big hall. But there were still a lot of faces sitting around that long oval table, all looking up at the both of you. He stood at his podium and you simply held your hands together and did your best to tune in. Not just to him but to the feeling of the room. 

While this venture was his- was Ellis’- and therefore the United States- they’d also made it yours. And while you weren’t supposed to speak or do anything but smile your prettiest smile and agree with whatever came out of that man’s mouth, it was very important for you to know how he was holding the attention of the room. How they felt about all of this. Sure, this wasn’t what they’d hired you for. It wasn’t something they even knew. But… eventually you’d be able to use it to your benefit. Eventually you’d be able to turn this position into more than just a woman standing at a man’s side like an ornament. And that started with you feeling out the room and figuring out exactly who was on your side and who wasn’t yet. 

Talbot was talking about togetherness and unity. All buzzwords you were sure the United Nations representatives heard a lot of. Talking about his credentials. What he knew, what he was sure of. That everyone in that room wanted to protect their people. Wanted peace. In fact, the people in that room as you honed in on them were kind of… bored. This was probably a speech they’d heard a thousand times before. 

It was why you had to give props to Talbot when he reclaimed their attention with a lightning strike that buzzed around the room. “I was here in 2012. When the sky tore open, and the Chitauri rained down on us. Aliens.” The feeling in the room was absolutely aglow as all eyes turned not to him, but to you. It was much easier to sync with people who were feeding into you so intensely without their knowing. Talbot continued, “Aliens were running through the streets. 

And it was then that SHIELD revealed themselves and stood with the Avengers. Leading us to believe that we could put our faith in them. Which we did.” A slight wave of suspicion fell over more than a few members in the room. You tried to hold yourself steady, really wishing you’d been able to look at this speech before he started. “We stood idly by while they collected super-powered individuals- those we are lucky to now call allies- one of which I’m very lucky to have standing by my side today. But that does not erase the fact that they sought out these uniquely advantaged- enhanced people without anyone else’s knowledge. 

SHIELD also garnered alien weapons, they built bases on virtually every continent. We thought SHIELD was protecting us. But in truth… they took advantage of our good faith. They still are. I know this because I’ve fought with them, long after their supposed fall. We know, in fact,” nodding to you- drawing all eyes your way, “that they’re still operating. And that they still have messes yet to be cleaned up.” 

You opened your mouth- sure, your job was to sit here and let him talk shit about SHIELD. That was fine. Well. Great, even. SHIELD did terrible things that you still didn’t agree with. That you wouldn’t ever. But you couldn’t let him rope you into this. You couldn’t let him speak for you so personally. 

However, you were usurped by Italy’s representative, Adamo Dioli, taking a stand, putting his hands on the table. You’d shared less than five words with him over brunch, but he seemed smart enough. “Italy takes note of your report, General.” You honed in on him, curious as to what he was trying to get at. “Now you say that you’ve seen SHIELD- that you’ve even fought against them. But… where is the proof?” 

If this were any other meeting, you would have sided with Dioli immediately. You desperately wanted to know what Talbot knew about SHIELD in the aftermath. He seemed pretty sure of himself. But the mood in the room shifted before either Talbot or Dioli could start fighting with one another. The door in the corner of the room whipped open, bringing with it a storm. 

Before you saw anyone- you saw a weapon- flung across the room and straight into Dioli’s chest. It was like you were looking through him. Locked on to him as he started to scream for help. Panic erupted. He reached out- and stupidly you held a hand up- just in time for him to start disintegrating into a dark pile of ash. Right in front of you. Right in front of you. Yet it seemed like a second pair of eyes was staring out from the ones falling to dark pieces- pleading- just as his entire body broke down into a heap of smolders on the floor. 

Terror was a hot flash across your consciousness as heavily armed men entered the room, guns brandished. More than one person flung the accusation, “IT’S SHIELD!” 

You just didn’t have enough time. Ripping the front of your blouse open to expose the Heart Reactor on your chest, you tapped once to draw out, leading the nanobots on a clear path down your arm. And then you held up for a quick repulsor blast at one of the men that nearly knocked you off your feet without the aid of the entire suit to stabilize you. It rocked your arm up and around after. And then the gunfire started. 

You swooped down into a dive to drag another representative out of the way of fire- just as another one of those weapons were tossed at one of the security guards in the room. He, too, cried out in fear and pain and then just fell apart into ash. But- focused on him- you had enough time to tap again and suit up fully. Helmet on, “LUNA I need you to figure out what those weapons are NOW.” Stressed as more than a hundred different threads of white-hot panic were raining over you. 

“We’ve got no database on them, ma’am- and I’m not sure the suit will protect you- so please-” 

“Don’t get hit. Got it.” Easier said than done. You were lucky enough to draw regular gunfire as you took off out of your spot with an extra boost of jets to ram the armed man closest to you into- and then through a wall. Then you rocked back with another burst to re-enter the room. Just in enough time to see the seeming man-in-charge of this operation lob one of those weapons Talbot’s way- 

“LUNA lock and engage!” Holding a hand up to get a steady trajectory lock so that you could blast it out of the air. Jumped up and over the table, towards him where he was just at the exit at the back of the room. “Go. Now.” Shielding him from further fire. 

The head goon jumped on the table with an almost too-on-the-nose declaration, “SHIELD is done hiding!” 

Pushing another representative out of the way of a hail of bullets, taking on the damage, you then almost seriously chucked them out of the door. “Go!” Then in a clean backflip to put you right on the other end of the table, “You know, last time I heard that, it came right before someone telling me they were actually Hydra. Now you wouldn't happen to be lying would you? I’d be very disappointed.” 

He smirked. “Lady Iron. Join me, won’t you? We’re allies.” 

You decided to push your luck. “What level were you before SHIELD fell into the water?” 

“Eight.” 

“What floor number was Fury’s office actually on in the Triskellion?” 

A spark of anger lit up between the two of you and he gnashed his teeth behind his closed lips. “Screw this.” Flinging his arm forward to lob one of those disintegration weapons your way. You had barely enough time to drop in a slide to your knees, pulling one leg up on the rise to gain momentum in an uppercut. He lifted off his feet but just as he came back down you kicked in his chest, sending him flying towards the back of the room. 

But as you lifted again to try and gain on him, his buddies came in hot and heavy with more gunfire and you had to draw up a shield. One you rammed into despite a heavy warning flaring to life on your screen, so that you could boost into a sweeping kick to get a few more men bowled over. Keeping in with momentum after dropping your shield, you swung your elbow into the stomach of one and reached behind you to grab the shoulders of another just as he tried to reach for you, throwing him across the room. They were a small group, you could dominate them-

 But in the middle of a smaller hail of bullets, LUNA put a target on your screen- one that was about a foot away from your open side- “Ma’am-!” 

It was weird, to be thanking the powers that be that someone had fired a rocket launcher on you instead of one of those weird instant-killing weapons. But that’s basically what you did as you went flying out of the window, consciousness waning as your head rattled around, falling several stories into one of the back gardens in a painful heap. You were lucky, that cries of “Fall back! SHIELD fall back!” were crackling through the airwaves, making it past your ringing ears. Giving you a little permission to just… drift.

They weren’t here to kill everyone. They’d been here to make a point. 

You drew up on your hands and knees, pulling the helmet off as you struggled for air, coughing up blood on your hands and knees.. Now that you weren’t in immediate danger, you felt like you were drowning in the wake of everyone else’s terror. Yet the world felt weirdly empty. Like there was a hole in your chest. 

You’d been staring right at Dioli- You’d been trying to sense him- And he’d died right in the middle of it. 

His eyes. You couldn’t stop seeing his eyes. 

 When you found the strength, you put the helmet back on, and took the short way up, lifting on uneasy jet boosts back up to the room you’d been blasted out of. Empty. Everyone had fled. “LUNA, can you find some people for me...” Hopefully the entire building had been evacuated. Dizziness was looping around in a knot centered at the back of your head.

 “The building is 90% empty, ma’am. We have one group huddled in the lower deck stairwell.” Taking shelter, no doubt.

 So you redirected towards there and instead of using the jets to just plow down through the center, you deactivated your suit, and instead made the walk. It was almost of no surprise when you found them huddled together, Talbot in front of them, wounded, and one of the pretend-SHIELD men dead on the steps just below. He looked up at you on your approach. “Is the building secure? I lost comms.” No doubt why he was hiding. These men could have been lined up on the lawn ready to execute anyone who left the entire building for all he knew.

 You gave a weary nod. “We’re clear.” Reaching your hand to offer him help up. He ignored you, maybe more of a pride thing than anything else. And you just didn’t have enough energy to care. Instead you focused your efforts on helping up the representatives that had taken shelter with him, listening to their tearful murmurs of gratitude as they went in one ear and out the other.

 You and Talbot brought everyone out around back to one of the gardens, while everyone else in the building started pouring back in. Statements were being taken. People were being helped. It must have been an hour before a medteam even got to you. You were just trying to hold on. You couldn’t hear a word they were saying as they tried to push and prod you- to get you to do anything- 

Talbot’s hand was on your shoulder- But it was the rumble of the Quinjet roaring closer and then dropping to land that really stilled everyone. 

Predictably, Tony was the first one out. Sense returned as his familiar waves brought you back. “Mission didn’t go well?” Trying to pretend this looked like less than it was. 

“What happened?” 

Talbot stood straighter, “She did her job.” As you looked up at him, you realized he was slightly banged up, arm in a sling. “Where were your people?” 

Tony’s anger was easy to spot. “My people? Seems like one of them was right here. And you’re-” 

“Sir.” Steve, in his full Captain America gear, was trotting up to the scene. “Let me take over.” 

Talbot extended a hand. “Captain.” Attention successfully diverted. But, as Tony helped you to your feet, he redirected one last time, holding his remaining arm out. You regarded the gesture and then met his gaze. “You did good.” 

“That wasn’t SHIELD.” All you could think to do in the moment. 

When he realized you were ignoring him otherwise, he glowered, and let his hand drop. But, to your surprise, he agreed. “I don’t think it was, either.” It was nice to have an understanding with this man. 

At least for as long as it lasted before Tony turned you away. “Let’s get you home.” 

Talbot seemed like he didn’t want to let you leave. “She should see a medic.” 

“We have medics in-house.” And Tony wanted you anywhere but here. Just at the landing stairs, Tony half turned. “Cap.” Calling his attention. “You staying?” 

Steve nodded. “For the time being.” 

With that he helped you up and into the jet where the rest of the team were still buckled in their seats. Bruce was sitting at one of the consoles. “...eventful day?” Turning as you and Tony sat down closest to him. 

You tried on your best smile for him. “More than yours, it seems.” 

Natasha spoke from the front seat as she ignited the engines. “Big bust in Turkmenistan. But word on the street is SHIELD just kicked in the UN’s doors and declared war. So that’s something.” 

Clint flipped a few switches next to her, co-piloting. “It’s always something.” 

A defeated and painful laugh escaped you. “Who are you telling?” Tony was just watching you. Clearly not in the mood for amusement. It killed yours, and you hung your head.

 It was never not something, at this point. 

Never. 

[mhalachai]

A decade that was - looking back at 10 years

I have just enough introspection left in me to pull this off - let's look at what fanfic disasters I've put out over the last ten years, shall we?

2010 & 2011

I was between fandoms at the time, but I had a Criminal Minds kick for a while.

Immutability: Once part of the team, always part of the team. That's what Spencer told himself as he walked up the stairs.

Branching Out (Criminal Minds/Stargate): Jennifer Jareau's first day as liaison for the Department of Defense really wasn't what she expected.

In Darkness (Criminal Minds/Harry Potter): To the world around him, Aaron Hotchner is a (somewhat) normal FBI agent, with a somewhat normal son and a moderately normal life. He's never told his team who he was... before. When he was known as Aaron Black.

These Small Bones (Doctor Who/Harry Potter): It starts with a girl. With him, it usually does.

2012

I dabble in time travel with this next one, and I still really like how the paradoxes of time hold up.

Marking Time (Doctor Who/White Collar): These are the things Peter Burke knows about Neal Caffrey's beginnings. None of these things are true.

Next up, a little four-part Criminal Minds series, featuring Spencer Reid (genderswapped) 

Fragility Optional: Given all that's happened, you'd think no one would expect Spencer Reid to put on high heels and slink out undercover.

But this was also the year that Avengers came out, and my love for Natasha Romanoff sent me down an amazing rabbit hole for the next couple of years, an Avengers/Stargate crossover series in which Natasha Romanoff was John Sheppard’s mother. And that was the least complicated part of it.

A Widow's Tale series (a 10-part series)

The main pieces of this series are Widow Maker, Baba Yaga's Children, and Old Soldiers, the other bits and bobs lead up to it. 

I also dabbled in a bit of Teen Wolf this year, starting Child of the Wolf (Avengers/Teen Wolf) and getting the first five chapters out the door in November-December before I got stymied - I would come back to this 7 years later, see below.

Child of the Wolf (MCU/Teen Wolf): Caught between hunters and werewolves, Stiles almost doesn’t have time to wonder much about the hot new redheaded Deputy Sheriff or the bow-wielding sarcastic gym teacher. Almost.

2013

Before Agent Carter came out, I wrote a Peggy Carter biopic, going off the riff of, what if Peggy had touched the Tesseract and stopped aging? It's two-thirds done.

Rhapsody in Blue: For decades, Peggy Carter has had only two constants in her life: Howard Stark, and the Winter Soldier.

2014

Agents of Shield came out and as I tend towards dark-haired girls with mysterious powers, I latched onto Skye for five minutes. Here's a quick installment...

Hell's Gate: In the wake of revelations of Skye’s past, Phil Coulson wasn’t expecting to find out what happened to Skye’s parents, and certainly not from a former Russian agent turned SHIELD operative showing up unannounced on his plane.

And oh! I finished Inevitable! My Anita Blake/Harry Potter epic, started in 2005 and in limbo for a number of years, I finally got it wrapped! Although, epic; I am fast closing in on its wordcount with Hour of the Wolf.

Inevitable (Anita Blake/Harry Potter): A late-night run-in with werewolves in the woods outside St. Louis dumps Harry Potter into a whole new world of trouble. Now Anita Blake has to deal with a new charge as well as Death-Eaters come to town.

Also in 2014 I started my baby, Hands of Clay, my Stucky kid!fic in which I attempt to give Bucky and Steve a happy ending, and Natasha and Clint happy childhoods.

Hands of Clay: James Barnes leads a busy life as a single working father in New York. But when his childhood best friend Steve Rogers falls back into his life, James will have to re-learn what love, friendship and family are really all about.

Also randomly I wrote a small Night Court fusion with the Avengers that I still love and am including it in the list.

Then Thor: The Dark World came out and after I punched a wall at yet another MCU mother getting fridged (Frigga, fridged, get it?) I started a resurrection fix-it featuring Loki’s children on earth, that was going to be great only I lost momentum, but the structure of this were good.

Hel's Bones: Magic pulled Frigga back from the realm of the dead, but not even Loki's children can shield her from the consequences of long-ago actions coming back to haunt her.

2015-2016 

the rest of 2014-2016 were consumed with Hands of Clay. But then! Tumblr caught my eye with a figure skating anime, and after the longest time, I checked it out. Which led to

2017-2018

when my Yuri on Ice! phase began. 

First up, we have the Blood in the Water series:

Water's Edge: For years, Yuuri had heard people say Viktor’s skating was otherworldly. He never thought they were being literal.

Undertow: Viktor Nikiforov has spent his entire life pretending to be normal. It's never enough.

There Be Dragons: Seven-year-old Otabek knew two things - he wasn't really related to a dragon, and he was never going to fall in love. Things like that belonged only in fairy tales.

A Late Frost: The one thing that Yuuri didn't expect about the World Figure Skating Championships in Boston was that beating two world records and winning a gold medal was going to be the easy part. (WIP) 

I also wrote a bunch of YOI one-shots: 

Midnight Salchow: Yuuri is convinced he has hidden his shameful past as a writer of Viktor Nikiforov RPF. Yuuri is mistaken.

Eight Days A Week: okay but a nanny!AU where Viktor has somehow acquired a bushel of children and needs a nanny to help care for his screaming brood - enter Yuuri, freshly retired from what he thinks was a failed figure skating career, and in desperate need of money to help pay off his student loans.

Sex Maniac: Katsuki Yuuri, Grand Prix silver medalist and a sorry example of a human being, was seventy percent sure that sleeping with Viktor Nikiforov had turned him into a sex maniac.

The Trials of Anteros: Of course Yuuri knew about Viktor’s hockey-playing twin brother; everyone in the figure skating world did. But given that Viktor had never mentioned the man, Yuuri never expected to get home one day after practice to find Vladimir Nikiforov cluttering up their apartment.

An Uncertain Arabesque: Yuuri never went to the banquet. Viktor never looked into the eyes of a beautiful, sloshed Japanese figure skater, never had the spark brought back into his life with the idea of coaching, and of love.  Viktor never saw the gash in the ice, not in the last minute of his free program at Russian Nationals, and couldn’t prevent his blade from catching in the depression, sending him to the ice with a broken knee and a ruined skating career. Viktor never saw any of it coming.

Silver and Glass: February 14, the Four Continents started in two days, and Yuuri was freaking out. Valentine's Day was the least of his worries... or so he thought.

and lastly, the fantasy swordmaster AU that consumed my summer vacation in 2018:

And each man stands with his face in the light: After the carnage on the fields of the Elven Wars, Viktor Ivanovich, general of the northern armies, was done with fighting. When Prince Regent Yuri asked him to track down the mysterious man who slew the Elven King, Viktor complies, hardly knowing how that one action will change his life forever...

Also in 2018, something kickstarted me down the road of wondering what it would be like if Clint Barton (Hawkeye) was raised by Susan Pevensie (formerly queen of Narnia), as one does.

Turn, Archer, and Heed the Wild Hunt (MCU/Chronicles of Narnia): In the summer of 1983, Clint Barton goes to live with his new foster mom in the middle of nowhere, Iowa. Now he just needs to figure out how negotiate this new life... and also what's up with all the strange things happening in the night.

 2019

And as I mentioned in yesterday’s, post, 2019 was the year of salt, in which I got cheesed off at Avengers: Endgame and resurrected Child of the Wolf, and then started my current obsession with time travel and other paradoxes:

Hour of the Wolf (MCU/Teen Wolf): Allison Stark has spent her entire life trying to live up to her father's sacrifice. But when the universe itself starts to dissolve, desperation and magic come together to push Allison back in time to try to right the wrongs.

2020

Who knows where we go? I hope it's going to be great :D

Thanks to everyone who's been hanging out with me in this pocket of fandom!

[esckeyes]

My Quetzal Story

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you probably saw a lot of pictures of this bird called the “quetzal” recently. I am having a hard time describing why it was such a big deal for me. So I will try a longer post.

I read a history of Hernan Cortes’ conquest of Mexico once. I felt like the book itself was too kind to Cortes. But the one thing I vividly remember (and perhaps even problematic books can have glimpses of beauty) was a description of the native peoples trying to save quetzal feathers instead of gold and jewels on “La Noche Triste” (needs new name?).

I had never heard of this bird called the quetzal (or the Resplendent Quetzal, more properly). I googled quetzal feathers and found some lovely looking—but probably fake—headdresses said to belong to Aztec nobility. I also found out that the quetzal is mostly extinct in Mexico, which made me sad. The feathers were such a beautiful color and they were a great symbol of the Mexica people. 

Cut to my sister (who travels a lot because she does a job that pays her actual money and gives her vacation time. Weird!), planning a trip to Costa Rica. I was super bummed because I was the one who took Spanish in school. She took French. I knew very little about Costa Rica from my textbooks (my Spanish IV textbook had cultural pages with history and information about various Spanish speaking countries. They usually were about how some asshole treated the people like shit). Costa Rica was a nice change because it didn’t have a lot of war or upheaval--there was a lot about colorful animals and their focus on saving them.  Mostly I remember that they abolished the army and I thought that was cool.  I wanted to go.

I don’t remember exactly when, during my sister’s time researching her trip that I learned there are still a few quetzals alive in the wild of Costa Rica. That is all fuzzy. But the point is: she was going to the country with these Mexica quetzals I wanted to see AND the eco-friendly Spanish-speaking nation without me? I was a big ball of pout.

So for Christmas, my dad said he would pay for me to accompany my sister. (My parents don’t like that she travels alone anyhow, I don’t think.)

I kept showing people videos on YouTube and gifs on Twitter. (Not everyone liked that I did this) I also learned some random quetzal facts from the internet. But I was worried I wouldn’t actually get to see one because they are nearly extinct and, well, you have to be lucky. I am not a bird-watcher or an experienced naturalist. I just like stories and the myths surrounding the quetzal. Symbols greatly intrigue me.

— The quetzal was considered sacred to many indigenous peoples. It is associated with the Mesoamerican god Quetzalcoatl. Notice the similarity in the names. (You have probably heard of Quetzalcoatl as the god the Aztecs were said to have thought Cortes was. I was taught this in Spanish class. But it is an exaggeration at best and the purpose of this story seems to be “these natives are dumb” even though their society was so advanced and awestruck the Spanish.)

— Quetzal feathers were worth a great deal (obviously more than gold to the Aztecs). It is still the name of the currency of Guatemala, though they are sadly paper now not actual feathers. And this got me thinking about the arbitrary nature of “wealth” and why shiny rocks are worth more than shells, feathers, or other parts of nature. It seems like putting a higher value on life itself.

— The quetzal also is supposed to represent liberty. I read online that one would “kill itself” in captivity (more on this below) and hearing its song before battle meant victory over the Spanish. THIS IS ALL COOL STUFF THAT COULD BE USED AS A METAPHOR IN A BOOK AND WHY HAVEN’T I READ THIS BOOK.

Anyway, back to my trip to Costa Rica. We looked online for the best places to see a Resplendent !uetzal, because, again it is hard and there are only a few places they live now.

My sister already planned a visit to the Monteverde Cloud Forest Reserve so that was a possibility. But our guide there said, when I asked him about it, that thousands of people go into that forest but that maybe only 10% get to see a quetzal.

The cloud forest itself is very cool. I learned about rainforests in school but not cloud forests. It’s wet and green everywhere. I found it a bit overwhelming. Our guide would say, look at that [insert species] over there” and I would be like, “I see trees.” There was just so much. We actually did pass by a female quetzal at one point (the female is not as brightly colored as the male) but I saw movement and that was about it.

If I am honest, I was a bit disappointed. But I kept telling myself that I was lucky to see one at all.

However, the next day we went to the Curi-Cancha reserve. (Take a moment to appreciate how great it is that Costa Rica has so many nature reserves.) I told our guide there that I would like to get a picture of a quetzal if possible but I had seen one the day before.

He knew a lot about birds. I asked him if there were any that he’d love to see and he mentioned an endangered bird he needed to go to South America to see. (I had meant in the park itself so I was thrown that he was talking about taking a trip to see a bird. But I guess that is what I was doing, wasn’t it?)

So when he heard through the grapevine of guides (if you go to Costa Rica and you should, keep an eye out for how all the tour guides alert each other if they saw anything cool down the way—it’s like an animal whisper network) that a male quetzal had been spotted in an avocado tree, he made me and the other family on the tour RUN to the tree. I appreciated this but felt bad for the other family because maybe they didn’t care.

The guide took SO MANY pictures for me. I wanted to cry.

Here is Mr. Quetzal sittin’ and showing off his long tail feathers.

This photo (and others) were taken for me by my guide through a scope. Then he made us RUN to another side of the tree because he wanted us to see that the quetzal feathers look different colors in different light. Most describe them as green or blue but—FUN FACT—they are actually mostly brown but iridescent for better camouflage. (The red spot is said to be blood from the Conquistador Pedro de Alvarado. More fun mythology!)

Look how fuzzy his silly head is. I love him so much.

Our guide also talked about the myths around the quetzal. I may have stepped on his toes there some. (Sorry!) But he cleared up the whole “They kill themselves” thing. He said they are easily stressed—aren’t we all; I feel ya, bird bro—and being caged can cause them the have heart attacks.

He also said there are fewer of them every year, so if you want to see one, go soon. This is because the female quetzal can only lay two eggs during a small window of nesting period, and said eggs are vulnerable to predators. Also the nesting period, formerly March to June, is getting thrown out of whack by global warming making it warmer earlier. This is probably why I was able to see one in February since the nesting period is when they usually come out and about.

But, possible good news, he said zoologists have successfully hatched one in captivity in Mexico recently. The only articles I can find on this are in Spanish and it sucky because I want to know everything. Can someone please let me know?

Especially considering one of the myths I read was that the quetzal would not sing in Mexico until the Invaders were defeated. Like, is it revolution time now? Should I get a weapon? And what does it mean that scientists engineered this revolution? I have questions about how this fits into the mythology, damnit!

I have a lot of thoughts.

[bountyofbeads]

Trump again appears to back away from gun background checks

https://wapo.st/2z8F1D0

COWARD 🤬🤬Trump again appears to back away from gun background checks

By Josh Dawsey and David Nakamura |

Published August 19 at 8:36 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted August 20, 2019 7:11 AM ET |

President Trump appears to be backing away from potential support for gun background check legislation, according to White House aides, congressional leaders and gun advocates, dimming prospects that Washington will approve significant new gun measures in the wake of mass shootings that left 31 dead.

Immediately after the carnage in El Paso and Dayton, Ohio, Trump said “there is a great appetite” for tightening background checks on people who buy firearms. But in recent days, Trump has focused in public remarks on the need to keep guns out of the hands of the mentally ill while emphasizing that the nation already has “very strong background checks right now” — positions that hew more closely to the views of the National Rifle Association.

Behind the scenes, Trump’s communication with key lawmakers, including Sen. Joe Manchin III, a moderate Democrat from West Virginia who has sought to develop bipartisan gun-control measures, has gone mostly cold, according to Capitol Hill aides, in part because Congress has left town for its summer recess.

Meanwhile, the president spent most of his time with advisers during his week-long vacation in Bedminster, N.J., focused on other matters, including the possibility of an economic downturn, contentious trade talks with China, his nascent 2020 reelection campaign and concerns about how the media portrayed the size of the crowd at his campaign rally Thursday in Manchester, N.H.

On Monday, Democratic leaders said they viewed Trump’s shifting posture as a sign that he was never serious about leading a push to tighten gun laws.

“We’ve seen this movie before: President Trump, feeling public pressure in the immediate aftermath of a horrible shooting, talks about doing something meaningful to address gun violence, but inevitably, he backtracks in response to pressure from the NRA and the hard-right,” Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) said in a statement. “These retreats from President Trump are not only disappointing but also heartbreaking, particularly for the families of the victims of gun violence.”

A White House official rejected the notion that Trump has shifted his stance, pointing to remarks the president made to reporters last week in which he stated support for “strong, meaningful background checks” that would help prevent “people that are insane, people that are mentally ill” from obtaining firearms.

“The president is not backing down,” said the official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss the president’s position. “The White House continues to work through a policy process and is engaging with congressional staff on several fronts.”

The slaughter of 22 people in an El Paso shopping mall and nine in a Dayton nightlife district in less than 24 hours in early August marked the latest instances of mass violence amid increasingly frequent mass shootings and rising concern about domestic extremism.

But after each round of killings, the political debate has failed to produce a significant response by Congress, as Republicans have joined the powerful gun lobby in resisting fresh gun-control legislation.

On Monday, Schumer and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) called on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to let his chamber vote on a bill approved by the Democratic-led House that would mandate universal background checks for gun purchases, including private transfers. But McConnell has rebuffed calls to bring the Senate back to Washington to deal with the issue, and his advisers acknowledged that he is unlikely to act without Trump’s leadership.

McConnell has told advisers that he would push legislation only if the president were fully on board and it had widespread support among Republicans in the Senate.

One Democratic aide noted that Trump has signaled that he would seek reelection by rallying his conservative base and that it does not seem plausible that the president would buck his most ardent supporters by leading an effort to strengthen background checks, which is fiercely opposed by the NRA. This aide pointed to the “game of hot potato” between Trump and McConnell, with each insisting that the other should make the first move.

“Trump says it’s on Congress to lead,” said the aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to frankly address the political dynamics. “That’s an easy way for nothing to ever get done.”

White House officials said they are preparing a list of other ideas on gun and mental health issues for Trump to review and potentially pass on to Congress with his support.

But Trump’s campaign commissioned a poll on guns after this month’s shootings, and his political advisers warned him that there is little support for significant action among Republican voters, and even some Democrats, people familiar with the conversations said.

“He is going to be very careful,” said one person close to the president, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss private conversations. “He isn’t inclined to do much right now.”

Trump has begun road-testing his talking points on guns. He noted to advisers that he got a roar of approval at the New Hampshire rally when he said: “It is not the gun that pulls the trigger; it is the person holding the gun.”

During an exchange with reporters Sunday as he prepared to return to Washington from Bedminster, Trump answered a question on gun control by talking first about mental illness. He then suddenly shifted topics to assert the need for stricter voting identification measures.

“A lot of people want to see something happen,” Trump said, after reporters pressed him on guns. “But just remember this: Big mental problem, and we do have a lot of background checks right now.”

Since the shootings, NRA officials have repeatedly told the president and senior White House officials that universal background checks won’t do much to prevent mass shootings, according to people familiar with the private conversations.

NRA officials also have lobbied Vice President Pence’s office and acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney, as well as governors and lawmakers who face potentially difficult reelection races in 2020, officials said. White House aides and NRA officials have pointed out to Trump that many of the states he needs to win next year have strong contingents of NRA members who would be frustrated if Trump made any drastic moves on gun control.

Gun lobby representatives have argued that Trump should focus on prosecuting gun crimes instead, White House officials said.

Some Republicans noted that Trump has shown no inclination to lead an effort on any legislation opposed by the GOP base. Last year, he floated support for offering a path to citizenship for some undocumented immigrants in exchange for billions in funding for a border wall, but he quickly backed off in the face of a conservative backlash.

And Trump has vaguely suggested doing more on background checks in the wake of past mass shootings, only to drop the matter — most notably after 17 people were killed in a shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla., in February 2018.

In February 2017, a week after taking office, Trump rolled back Obama-era regulations aimed at making it more difficult for mentally ill people to buy firearms.

“I can’t think of a single time he has really pushed Republicans to do something they weren’t going to be doing anyway,” said Brendan Buck, who served as a top aide to former House speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.), who left Congress in January.

“I think he personally wants to do something, but I’m not sure how equipped he is to maintain his attention on it for the next two months — which this would require — in the face of pushback from people he cares about,” Buck said. “You have to come back to town, then everyone starts negotiating. Then it becomes a two-month exercise.”

Aides in both parties noted that the president already seems distracted by numerous other issues, including his desire for the United States to purchase Greenland — though officials there have ruled it out.

Late Monday, Trump tweeted an illustration of Greenland, with a new gold Trump tower rising over a bay. “I promise not to do this to Greenland!” he wrote.

[pearlsnowflake]

2010′s

2010’s Thinking about this last decade and there are so many amazing milestones, losses, triumphs, memories, successes and more. This decade provided the following memories 2010 - I dropped out of college, one semester short of graduation. My first job (Wendy’s) promoted me to a shift supervisor. I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. We went on my first cruise and my first international vacation. I swam with sharks and hand fed a scarlet macaw Jamaica, fed green turtles in Grand Cayman and petted Ernest Hemenway’s cats in Key West 2011 - I quit my job at Wendy’s and took the summer off to relax and revaluate my priorities. My parents moved out of the home I grew up in and moved to a one-bedroom apartment in the next city over. I took a weeklong vacation to Lincoln, New Hampshire. I went to the top of Mt. Washington and saw six moose on a moose tour. 2012 - Six weeks after getting a job at Catherine’s plus sizes as a supervisor, I was promoted to Assistant Manager. At the age of 24, I was the youngest manager in my district. (All of New England). I was also top in sales for the state of Massachusetts. I went to Niagara Falls and enjoyed every moment of it. I never got tired of seeing the waterfalls. 2013 - Quit my job as an Assistant Manager at Catherine’s when my boss was screaming at me in front of customers because I didn’t catch a small mistake made by another employee. I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. Our relationship and our lives weren’t moving forward, and he didn’t see a problem with it. Therefore, I moved back in with my parents at 25. I traveled to NYC with my parents to celebrate their 30th anniversary. By the end of the year I was a Swing Manager at McDonald’s working 50 hrs a week. 2014 - Easter Sunday was my first Sunday off in six months. I was bored and downloaded Tinder. Within 10 minutes, I matched with Chris. We spent the next five days texting and on the phone with each other. On April 25th, I traveled five hours on two busses, 2 subways and a commuter rail to get from Lowell to Hartford to meet Chris at the bus station. We went on our first date to Mooyah in New Britain. Six months later, I quit my job at McDonald’s and moved to Connecticut and into our first apartment. I had lived in Massachusetts for 23 years and it’s the only state that I ever remember living in. 2015 - Chris and I traveled with his parents to New Hampshire and saw the Ice Castles. That March, we found out that I was pregnant. I was on the Depo Provera shot. When we went to the Planned Parenthood two days after we found out, the pregnancy was deemed high risk as my HCG levels were about 3 times what they should have been for six weeks along. We spent an entire night and day at St. Francis Hospital to be told by three OB/GYN’s that I had a “unviable pregnancy of unknown location”. A week later we went back to St. Francis for another ultrasound and they found the sac and a heartbeat. The Radiologist said that everything looked normal and my due date was 11/22/15. I refused to believe it, but after three weeks of terrible all-day sickness, the pregnancy was gone. I was 9 weeks, 3 days along. I couldn’t work for an entire week after that. Chris and I have never spoken about it again. After that, I revaluated what I wanted to do with my life. Just not sure what I wanted to do, just that I wanted something that I could help people and that wasn’t a dead end job. That June, Chris was laid off from his first job after graduating college. We had to move in with his parents. I threw myself into working as much as possible. My job at the time was at Panera Bread as an Associate Trainer. That August, I signed up for real estate classes at Manchester Comm. College in Manchester. It took me three months to complete the course, but I passed the final exam with flying colors and looked forward to leaving the restaurant industry behind. Chris and I spent Thanksgiving moving into a two-story townhouse in Ellington. 2016 - I passed my national and state real estate exams on my first try in January. I signed up with Keller Williams in East Longmeadow. My license was issued on February 16th. After a few months, I switched to Keller Williams in West Hartford. I interviewed with several teams. However none of them were the right fit for me. I was still working at Panera but was desperate to leave. That November, I saw a Facebook post on the Keller Williams West Hartford that the Blake Team was looking for a Transaction Coordinator. I responded with my resume immediately and Amina messaged me back within five minutes. Five interviews later, I landed the job and my start date was 1/2/17. After two years at Panera Bread, it felt incredible to put in my two weeks’ notice. 2017 – Started my first “real” job in January in Wallingford. I couldn’t have asked for a better team to learn from. Everything I know about real estate is from this team. While I enjoyed a job that kept me busy. (Our team was the #1 Individual team at Keller Williams in New England that year) I knew that I wanted to go back to school to finish my bachelor’s degree. That May, I applied to Central Connecticut State University and I was accepted. I started in August as a general business major as I didn’t really know what I wanted to major in. It was intimidating to sit in classes of 20-year-old students at nearly 30 years old. Especially after being out of school for nearly nine years. I would work 8 am – Noon, M-F as an ISA on the team and then go to CCSU from 1 PM – 10PM, Monday – Thursday. First semester didn’t go as great as I wanted to, but I kept going. After months of illness, my nana passed away on Nov. 25th. I had visited her two days prior on Thanksgiving, it was heartbreaking to see her like that. 2018 - I continued my education and kept working in real estate. I went back to handling the transactions for the team that August. I did not want to give that up as I’ve worked hard to get my license and to earn a spot-on Amina’s team. Due to financial reasons, I went back to Panera Bread as an Associate Trainer. So along with taking 15 credits at CCSU, working in real estate, I was working at Panera, my only day off was Saturdays. That May ended up declaring my major as Hospitality and Tourism with a minor in Business Administration. Professor Kreeger, who is the head of the department, was the first professor that I met that cared about my education. He took transfer credits that CCSU initially refused to take. Thus, allowing me to graduate a semester early. My grandfather passed away October 1st, he was my last surviving grandparent. 2019 – I started my last semester at CCSU in January and continued to go to school full time and work two jobs. I’m still not sure how I handled it, but I ended up graduating with a 3.6 GPA in my major and a 3.0 overall. That June, I quit Panera Bread again and took on real estate full time again. In September, Amina asked me if I was willing to take BOLD that year. At first, I was hesitant as I had preconceived notions that it was just cheerleading for agents and a scheme for KW to make more money. After seven weeks on the “Untouchables” team, I was hooked. The energy and momentum were more that I was expecting. I even got my first listing appointment while taking BOLD. I’ve already asked Amina if I can take it again in the Spring. As I look back on the past decade, I first saw failures, from relationships, education, jobs and myself. However, I never gave up, I kept going until I reached my goals. Am I where I thought I would be at 32? No, but I am working to get there. There isn’t a timeline for when things need to happen. I’m going at my own pace.

[cruzmikaela]

Module 3: BDRRM Kwentuhan

NSTP Module 3

Barangay 471, Zone 46, District IV Over-All Chairman Osmundo J. Perez

Interviewer: Mikaela Louise R. Cruz Interviewee: Amado Barles, 63 years old & Eugene Cruz. 43 years old (Tanod)

Mr. Amado Barles

Mr. Eugene Cruz

     On the 4th of December 2019 around 2:15pm, I got the chance to accomplish the interview for the 3rd Module of the National Service Training Program. I went to Barangay 471. Zone 46, District IV as it was the most accessible place to my dormitory. I couldn’t do the interview at home, in Pasig, because my class schedule begin from 7:00 am till 6:00pm the entire week (excluding Saturdays & Sundays) so this Module was quite challenging for me to finish.

     Barangay 471 is amongst the barangays in the District of Sampaloc of Manila. The barangay is considered as a semi-commercial area, meaning it is a place wherein a mixture of both residential and commercial areas is to be found.

     Calamities that destructed most parts of the Metro including Barangay 471 were typhoon Ondoy, Pedring, Quiel, Sedong, and more. The instruments they use to signal the people are megaphones and a two-way radio as soon as they get reports on certain calamities approaching the community. This scenario also happens when earthquakes are reported to be expected near the city/area same mediums are used as well to inform the people. A piece of little information lies around floods that they also have declogging materials to prevent the high rise of water and the flood level indicator to monitor how deep the water is getting. In the aspect of Evacuation sites during a super typhoon, flood, and fire there are two safe places the Barangay Hall and the Raha Fire Station. In worst-case scenarios, once an Earthquake hits the are they should vacate their homes and go to the said safe sites as well as UST’s Football field. In terms of Fire situations, the Barangay has fire extinguishers, first aid kits, a BP apparatus and they also have access to the public address system to spread the news as rapidly and as fast as possible.

Barangay 471, Zone 46, District IV’s Barangay Hall.

Raha Fire Station

The University of Sto. Tomas’ Football Field

     A Nationwide Earthquake Drill recently happened as headed by the Barangay Officials and Tanod last February 19, 2019. It was documented pretty well, pictures proved that the organizers made sure everyone was doing it even the tricycle drivers waiting for passengers on the side of the street, people playing billiards across the barangay hall,  and of course the people within the premises of the barangay hall. The basic ‘Drop, Cover, and Hold’ principle was implemented. This trial was conducted by the council to test the plans, be able to evaluate and revise instructions if there will be any revisions as suggested by anyone who found out about the holes the proposed plan had. This execution was very crucial as this will be able to set the standards as to how the citizens living in the area are prepared and how much training certain volunteers must undergo. A few months later June 20, 2019, another nationwide earthquake drill was held and this time even the residents in the area participated in the drill unlike the previous moth wherein only certain people were involved.

     There are multiple preparedness measures that Barangay 471 has. The Barangay has an alternative water source, they identified where ready-to-eat meals are situated around the area as it is surrounded with enough food establishments adequate for the community, the buildings that need construction have already been identified for safety precautions and measure (such as seismic activity, soil failure, and etc.), for rapid announcements and warnings within the councils and the community a public address system has already been installed, multiple people have been trained for Basic Life Support and CPR Ready Training, and records of those who live in the area is monitored from time to time.

A photo of a certain reminder within the area

     This is one of the signs we saw during our “community walk”. It sets a reminder that minors are not allowed to be walking alone within the vicinity of the area or else parents will face penalties. I think that this reminder alone sets this barangay apart from the rest because I do not see this type of reminder everywhere, even back home there was never really any reminders like this for its people. It provides its citizens the privilege to be reminded every day which will also matter for the safety of everyone and to not be in the face of danger. 

 A photo regarding trash segragation & collection

    I found this sign as well and it actually got me thinking that why can’t all places follow this sort of mantra? It’s a good start towards contributing to saving Mother Earth because segregation is an important part of living it helps in reducing the waste that we produce considering the amount of pollution and garbage the country has. This is the extent of living in a greener city. I like the idea behind not collecting a certain household’s trash unless they segregate because with that as a rule people will be eliminating trash resulting in eliminating waste produced as well.

A photo I took that violates the sign written from a residential area

     This is an example of one of the many toxic Filipino traits that our society has. The picture alone shows that even though there are signs visible amongst the house drivers still manage to disrespect it and still do what they please. The owners of this house may have allowed this behavior because the driver must’ve asked permission but nonetheless, it violates what is written on the sign. 

     Another violation is finding people smoking within the vicinities that do not allow smoking. There were multiple offenders that I have come across while strolling around the barangay though the signages around them were very visible. I strongly disapprove of this behavior because you are contributing to the pollution and you are putting those around you in danger. As research says and proves second-hand smoking may be deadlier than the one who’s actually smoking. I didn’t get to take a photo because this would violate their rights and it would seem disrespectful all at once.

     Based on the observations I saw I would like to formulate a proposed plan of action to help in keeping the streets of Barangay 471, Zone 46, District IV in order and its people healthy and safe.

[artbydip]

I first painted Sophie three years ago. She’s my most popular painting. She died young trying to protect people that needed to be protected. This painting is a two stencil piece on glass. Read below for more information on Sophie. Sophia Magdalena Scholl (9 May 1921 – 22 February 1943) was a German student and anti-Nazi political activist, active within the White Rose non-violent resistance group in Nazi Germany. She was convicted of high treason after having been found distributing anti-war leaflets at the University of Munich (LMU) with her brother, Hans. As a result, she was executed by guillotine. Since the 1970s, Scholl has been extensively commemorated for her anti-Nazi resistance work. Scholl was brought up in the Lutheran church. She entered junior or grade school at the age of seven, learned easily, and had a carefree childhood. In 1930, the family moved to Ludwigsburg and then two years later to Ulmwhere her father had a business consulting office. In 1932, Scholl started attending a secondary school for girls. At the age of twelve, she chose to join the Bund Deutscher Mädel (League of German Girls), as did most of her classmates. Her initial enthusiasm gradually gave way to criticism. She was aware of the dissenting political views of her father, friends, and some teachers. Even her own brother Hans, who once eagerly participated in the Hitler Youth program, became entirely disillusioned with the Nazi Party.Political attitude had become an essential criterion in her choice of friends. The arrest of her brothers and friends in 1937 for participating in the German Youth Movement left a strong impression on her. She had a talent for drawing and painting and for the first time, came into contact with a few so-called “degenerate” artists. An avid reader, she developed a growing interest in philosophy and theology. In spring 1940, she graduated from secondary school, where the subject of her essay was “The Hand that Moved the Cradle, Moved the World.” Scholl nearly did not graduate, having lost any desire to participate in the classes which had largely become Nazi indoctrination. Being fond of children, she became a kindergarten teacher at the Fröbel Institute in Ulm. She had also chosen this job hoping that it would be recognized as an alternative service to Reichsarbeitsdienst (National Labor Service), a prerequisite to be admitted to the university. This was not the case, though, and in spring 1941 she began a six-month stint in the auxiliary war service as a nursery teacher in Blumberg. The military-like regimen of the Labor Service caused her to think very hard about the political situation and to begin practicing passive resistance. After her six months in the National Labor Service, in May 1942, she enrolled at the University of Munich as a student of biology and philosophy. Her brother Hans, who was studying medicine there, introduced her to his friends. Although this group of friends eventually was known for their political views, they initially were drawn together by a shared love of art, music, literature, philosophy, and theology. Hiking in the mountains, skiing and swimming were also of importance to them. They often attended concerts, plays, and lectures together. In Munich, Scholl met a number of artists, writers, and philosophers, particularly Carl Muth and Theodor Haecker, who were important contacts for her. The question they pondered the most was how the individual must act under a dictatorship. During the summer vacation in 1942, Scholl had to do war service in a metallurgical plant in Ulm. At the same time, her father was serving time in prison for having made a critical remark to an employee about Hitler. Between 1940 and 1941, Scholl’s brother, Hans Scholl, a former member of the Hitler Youth, began questioning the principles and policies of the Nazi regime. As a student at the University of Munich, Hans Scholl met two Roman Catholic men of letters who redirected his life, inspiring him to turn from studying medicine and pursue religion, philosophy, and the arts. Gathering around him like-minded friends, Alexander Schmorell, Wil Graff, and Jurgen Wittenstein, they eventually adopted a strategy of passive resistance towards the Nazis by writing and publishing leaflets that called for democracy and social justice, calling themselves the White Rose. In the summer of 1942, four leaflets were written and distributed throughout the school and central Germany. Based upon letters between Scholl and her boyfriend, Fritz Hartnagel (reported and analyzed by Gunter Biemer and Jakob Knab in the journal Newman Studien), she had given two volumes of Cardinal John Henry Newman’s sermons to Hartnagel when he was deployed to the eastern front in May 1942. This discovery by Jakob Knab shows the importance of religion in Scholl’s life and was highlighted in an article in the Catholic Herald in the UK. Scholl learned of the White Rose pamphlet when she found one at her university. Realizing her brother helped write the pamphlet, Scholl herself began to work on the White Rose. The group of authors had been horrified by Hartnagel’s reports of German war crimes on the Eastern Front where Hartnagel witnessed Soviet POWs being shot in a mass grave and learned of the mass killings of Jews. Her correspondence with Hartnagel deeply discussed the “theology of conscience” developed in Newman’s writings. This is seen as her primary defense in her transcribed interrogations leading to her “trial” and execution. Those transcripts became the basis for a 2005 film treatment, Sophie Scholl – The Final Days. With six core members, three more White Rose pamphlets were created and circulated over the summer of 1942. he core members initially included Hans Scholl (Sophie’s brother), Willi Graf, Christoph Probst and Alexander Schmorell (Schmorell was canonized by the Russian Orthodox Church in 2012). Initially her brother had been keen to keep her unaware of their activities, but once she discovered them she joined him and proved valuable to the group because, as a woman, her chances of being randomly stopped by the SS were much smaller. Calling themselves the White Rose, they instructed Germans to passively resist the Nazi government. The pamphlet used both Biblical and philosophical support for an intellectual argument of resistance. In addition to authorship and protection, Scholl helped copy, distribute and mail pamphlets while also managing the group’s finances. She and the rest of the White Rose were arrested for distributing the sixth leaflet at the University of Munich on 18 February 1943. In the People’s Court before Judge Roland Freisler on 21 February 1943, Scholl was recorded as saying these words: Somebody, after all, had to make a start. What we wrote and said is also believed by many others. They just don’t dare express themselves as we did. No testimony was allowed for the defendants; this was their only defense. On 22 February 1943, Scholl, her brother, Hans, and their friend, Christoph Probst, were found guilty of treason and condemned to death. They were all beheaded by a guillotine by executioner Johann Reichhart in Munich’s Stadelheim Prison only a few hours later, at 17:00 hrs. The execution was supervised by Walter Roemer, the enforcement chief of the Munich district court. Prison officials, in later describing the scene, emphasized the courage with which she walked to her execution. Her last words were: “How can we expect righteousness to prevail when there is hardly anyone willing to give himself up individually to a righteous cause? Such a fine, sunny day, and I have to go, but what does my death matter, if through us, thousands of people are awakened and stirred to action?” Fritz Hartnagel was evacuated from Stalingrad in January 1943, but did not return to Germany before Sophie was executed. In October 1945, he married Sophie’s sister Elisabeth. Following her death, a copy of the sixth leaflet was smuggled out of Germany through Scandinavia to the UK by German jurist Helmuth James Graf von Moltke, where it was used by the Allied Forces. In mid-1943, they dropped over Germany millions of propaganda copies of the tract, now retitled The Manifesto of the Students of Munich. In a historical context, the White Rose’s legacy has significance for many commentators, both as a demonstration of exemplary spiritual courage, and as a well-documented case of social dissent in a society of violent repression, censorship, and conformist pressure. Playwright Lillian Garrett-Groag stated in Newsday on 22 February 1993, that “It is possibly the most spectacular moment of resistance that I can think of in the twentieth century … The fact that five little kids, in the mouth of the wolf, where it really counted, had the tremendous courage to do what they did, is spectacular to me. I know that the world is better for them having been there, but I do not know why.” In the same issue of Newsday, Holocaust historian Jud Newborn noted that “You cannot really measure the effect of this kind of resistance in whether or not X number of bridges were blown up or a regime fell … The White Rose really has a more symbolic value, but that’s a very important value.” Else Gebel shared Sophie Scholl’s cell and recorded her last words before being taken away to be executed. “It is such a splendid sunny day, and I have to go. But how many have to die on the battlefield in these days, how many young, promising lives. What does my death matter if by our acts thousands are warned and alerted. Among the student body there will certainly be a revolt.”