#Which lowkey I still think it is but for programming languages

[messengerofmechs]

@ anon sorry your ask spooked me so I deleted it.

After reading the Wikipedia entry on Cobol I'm very glad that I will never use it <3. Hope this helps

[mins-fins]

beyond the moon !

"you aren't about to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby".

synopsis: breaking news: the worst possible person you know is actually more than half decent in bed. of course, it's an easy slam dunk. you will begrudgingly admit that jaemin is pretty nice on the eyes—even if he has the personality of a barbed wire. it's a match made on this soul sucking earth. it's only a little perfect.

pairing: na jaemin x male!reader

genre: alternative universe, main hospital scenery, somewhat grey's anatomy fusion, interns the fic, strangers to rivals to rivals who hookup to friends who hookup to lovers, fluff, some angst, slightly suggestive tones, humor, crazy ass pining that's barely realized until 10k words in, some background relationships that provide other drama

warnings: swearing, explicit language, so many mentions of sex, almost tiptoes into borderline smut like five times, sexual humor, reader and jaemin are both equally emotionally underdeveloped and horny, drinking, the impending stress of the medical field, mentions of death, a bunch of medical jargon you probably don't care about, mentions of surgical procedures, some blood.. i think thats it

word count: 16.7k

notes: hello, merry christmas, happy one year anniversary to my hyuck work which started my whole nct saga on tumblr.. im afraid i am very mentally ill 😓 so!! surgeon jaemin!! originally surgeon jaemin was a serial killer but then i lost wave of that draft over the summer and i tried to do it again 😚 this was half based on early greys anatomy because why the fuck is that show so long and um my own life lowkey?? ofc im not sleeping with my fellow interns but i have seen too much of a hospital i have begun to see the white corridors in my fucking dreams.. save me please life has not treated isa mins-fins well 😭😭 and NO dont listen to user junjiie this is not a self insert i swear!! im still going to the hospital later today soooooooo i lost anyway 🤷‍♂️ lowercase intended as usual and last long work of the year 💖

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 1: do ethics matter when the dick is good? (hyperbole.. actually not)

frankly, it began on a mundane tuesday.

well as mundane as a tuesday for you could be, a week following getting dumped would typically be dedicated to mourning but guleum grace hospital is equally as busy each particular day. you did not underestimate the sheer amount of regular patrons at hospitals, your internship was all about that in fact, pouring your blood sweat and tears into some amateur surgery you had about a twenty five percent chance on performing correctly, however, any chance was any chance.

it isn’t as if you were some lunatic brisked with insanity who valued his work in an irregular fashion, you’d surmise that you were a regular workaholic, the epitome of an overworked medical student stereotype, it all sucked the soul out of you, though your scrubs remained spotless and the eye bags stuck in a much acquainted manner.

unfortunately, your heart attack inducing student debt won’t allow for you to simply quit, neither will your pride, your extent of competitiveness, and your bright need to prove your overbearing parents wrong.

getting into a deathly inviting internship program is enough, what’s shit is surviving, and surviving would be easy if not added on by such a nuisance.

what nuisance? you may ask, well the nuisance that so happens to b—

“present the case l/n”.

you somehow retain your sigh, if the distress is displayed through any means of visibility then doyoung merely doesn’t give a shit. “uh— samuel lawson, fifty two, has been in and out of hospitals four times in the last three months with complaints of sporadic, mild to moderate pain in his chest. we picked up on a heart murmur and his echo showed left ventricular hypertrophy with a repolarization abnormality”.

“what would you recommend?”

“the best course of action is to replace his aortic valve with a porcine valve and prescribe anticoagulants to improve the prognosis”.

“good, and why do we want to pay attention to his kidneys in this situation?”

“his kidneys?” you echo, former exhaustion manifesting in the unscathed widening of your eyes. there’s a whistle, lee donghyuck opting to feign forgetfulness to your very presence, as if he even knows the answer.

you aren’t as easily absentminded, you’ve been hard of thinking recently, read all those printed words yet none of them stuck to the confines of your brain. there’s then a sigh, you initially assume from doyoung, but of course it isn’t.

“ah dr na, how kind of you to join us, perhaps you could remind me of the answer?”

arms folded over his chest, jaemin doesn’t miss a beat. “since his heart isn’t functionally effective his kidneys work as a compensatory mechanism, we’ll need to take increased renin and aldosterone secretions into account when considering general anesthesia and how soon he can go into surgery”.

“i see somebody has been doing their homework” you graciously avoid his eyes, glowering in jaemin’s direction as he offers a meager eyebrow raise. “good job na, you’ll definitely be scrubbing in”.

you pray for his early death.

it’s a seamless lesson whilst interning, competition is everything; you love competition, you live for it even, and na jaemin just so happens to be the nuisance which troubles your every week.

it’s something to even survive your first year of interning, let alone in time for when the seven year residency rolls around. only the best become surgeons, a perfectly manufactured system that is definitely not flawed and has most likely not been the cause of many related mental breakdowns.

you’ve had some undisclosed issues out with na jaemin since the beginning of your program, his awareness manifests in his knowing glances, if swiping cases from under your feet and making your life as hellish as possible is equated to diverting entertainment, na jaemin is elated. at least he has the familial connections to ensure the acclaim, the regarded son of na kiwoo, one of the most well revered orthopedic surgeons in the country. now you aren’t petty enough to spew the claim that na jaemin is bad at his job, he isn’t, however, you are petty enough to state the fact that him getting extra time to redo the practical board exam would’ve never been granted to anybody not with the same fucking last name.

and you suppose somebody else could also reign as worthy competition, but you’re conceited, unabashed in the likeness of your own smarts, you didn’t brave the trenches of medical school to lose such a worthy position to some hunky nepo baby.

~

it’s about half past twelve when huang renjun stumbles into the on-call room.

“you drinking on the job?”

he glares, you smile, there’s something concerning his anger which gets a satisfying kick out of you. you were sat at a desk, overloading on coursework you’d give not even a mere glance toward once you got home, the placid diagrams of human arteries burned into your brain. you spent most of your day, resounding to most of your shift, hanging about downstairs in the E.R, handling skimpy stitches from those who couldn’t help but do something idiotic on a saturday morning. who knew? you’re aware dr. kim probably holds a much lowered opinion of you; however, you still preserve hope that he’ll allow you to scrub in on that upcoming LVAD replacement he has scheduled for later in the week.

“can you believe who got to scrub in on that corpus callosotomy?” his undertone indicated irritation, you did not have to take a glance backward, you could distinctly picture the snuggle frown tugging at his lips.

“can i buy a vowel?”

your response earns a hefty scoff, the ghost of a smile lingers as you take in his much visible exasperation. it appears he wants to look intimidating, but his docile like features do not sell such a point home. “kim wonil, can you believe it!?”

“oh really?” you click your tongue, the raise of an eyebrow paired with the raise of a nearby head, it’s lee jeno’s, you make out. “wow, maybe i should start sleeping with mark lee too”.

“well it’s not like anyone knows if they’re sleeping together— he’s basically just his protégé” what a gentleman lee jeno is, feigning unawareness at the whole thing.

“uh huh, me when i’m fucking the only attending neurosurgeon” you seethe. “seriously, you think he’s taking any under the table offers?”

“you’re an asshole”.

you simply blow renjun a kiss.

whilst renjun may be adamant on the whole civilized pursuit, you would say that sleeping with one of your bosses basically equates to getting favored treatment, you suppose your wavelength on that won’t ever change. “is that coursework?”

your eyebrows raise once renjun leans over your shoulder, you don’t make an effort to nod your head. “that’s coursework, what the fuck are you doing?”

“i’m not about to have a splitting headache at home, trying to keep my sanity intact, you know”.

“more like wither your sanity— oh, hey jaemin”.

“hi” jaemin allows renjun the decorum of a smile, because for some reason renjun is the only other intern he has the gall to treat in the manner of a regular human being. he settles in the bed across from you with a look and doesn’t even try a glance in your direction, muttering a small greeting to jeno.

“do you want ibuprofen? i have some in my locker” renjun mutters softly.

you wave a dismissive hand. “no, i’m seriously about to max out on painkillers right now”.

“maybe it’s a tumor” jaemin unexpectedly adds, he doesn’t look up from a book.

“you wish”.

“i do”.

“it could be a caffeine headache” jeno helpfully reckons from where he is across the room, leaning up on his elbows to give you a sympathetic look.

“or the stress” renjun decides. “or your just sleepy because of the stress, i’m getting tired because of the stress” he then makes his way over to the dormant bed and flops right onto it.

“tumor~”.

“why the fuck do you care?”

“i most certainly do not”.

“drop dead asshole”.

“guys..” jeno weakly begins, glancing between you two as if silently picking a side.

“sorry” you feel little remorse towards the tumor hopeful fuckface, simply for everybody else. “the exhaustion is making me mean”.

it appears that a nearby zhong chenle utters the insult of you’re always mean somewhere above you, and then the room grows claustrophobic for you in about five more seconds.

when your chair emits a high pitched screech, renjun’s head rises. “where are you going?”

“gonna find something to do”.

then you shuffle out of the on-call room, feigning ignorance at na jaemin’s continuous stare.

~

later that week, the one person you observe when you walk into the on-call room on wednesday for your mid-shift nap is na jaemin, the current bane of your existence. you’ve been bumping shoulders in the O.R for the past week, and you’re beginning to think that the world is attempting to kill you early, those mystifying forces rambled about in storybooks manifesting whenever his name happens to appear in your mind.

you pause once you step in, meeting his eyes for a charged second before clenching your teeth, they’ll probably begin bleeding soon. you starkly consider backing out, but you can’t surrender your pride to this guy, that would be letting him win, so you sigh and lean your back against the door.

“i’m just here to sleep,” you voice. “waving my white flag”.

“you should be thanking me”.

you’re baffled. “excuse me?”

“i’ve saved your ass like twice this week, god kim would’ve literally eaten you alive if i weren’t around”.

your mouth dries up, jaemin seemingly revels in such a factor, swinging his legs sideways and out of the bed. “you’re terrible under pressure it’s a wonder you even made it through medical school”.

your left eye twitches, the one singular time you try to be civil, he just— he just decides to..?

“you’re so infuriating and arrogant and selfish—“

“oh really? love it when you talk down on me..”

“and you’re so— annoying god why does everyone like you? i hate you, hate you and your stupid privilege and i couldn’t care less what you think because you’re a fucking suck up! stop backing me up if it makes you so mad”.

jaemin then blinks, slow. “finished now?”

“yes” you drop your arms at the side, breathing having gone shallow as pure fury swirled in your ribs. you hate what jaemin does to you, whatever the fuck this is and why is the rooms temperature skyrocketing? that should be impossible in a hospital of all places, but you shouldn’t give it much thought because jaemin will probably begin over analyzing the singular movements of your facial expressions.

you hate feeling like you’re losing, you feel like your losing even if there’s no prevalent competition, it’s just.. jaemin.

that’s really why.

“good” jaemin replies. “i hope you don’t mind”.

and when he pushes you up against the door you think exactly three specific things in the second it takes for him to do that. 1; jesus this guy goes to the gym how the fuck are his forearms so huge? how is he finding time to hit the gym with such a consistent shift? 2; you should’ve gotten more words in cause oh he got the last laugh, and 3; you suddenly remember you never followed up on that post-op for patient 3109– but then all of those thoughts fly out the window when jaemin leads forward to kiss you.

na jaemin is kissing you, full on lips, hands-on-your-waist kissing you, and all you can do is suck in a breath as you then release a soft sound.

jaemin is ridiculously good at this, all soft despite his rough edges, how funny. he pulled off, taking your bottom lip with him before diving back in.

“i meant everything i said” you pant, even as jaemin pressed you further into the door and your arms wrapped around his shoulders in an effort to continue. you exchanged in a similar manner, frenzied and practically leaning half of him backward with your sheer force.

“i know” he grunts, so effortless in all he does, thumb finding the gap in your uniform which he very much decided to exploit. “but you want me anyway..”

“fuck you”.

so smart y/n, you’re getting into heaven with that one—

he chuckles as he mouths against your neck, light open mouthed kisses along your jaw, tugging at your shirt which acted as an obstacle. “that’s the goal”.

“smart ass”.

“well..”

it was the first and only time.

it actually should’ve been the first and only time, but then again, your decision making is particularly fuzzy.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 2: he’s a hotshot, so unfortunately a hotshot..

you’d been skilled enough to pick out your friends at guleum grace hospital on your first day. frankly you had met a good chunk at the intern mixer the hospital had held a week before you were all due to start, but you were the slightest bit nervous with the whole before day apprehension. lee jeno was an easy one, his timidly boyish attitude made for good company, smile replicated by his eyes as he hung around the refreshments table. he laughed at every single one of your jokes, he was sympathetic to your family predicament, much too familiar with such a thing.

lee donghyuck was similarly not a struggle, he seemingly mirrored many of the traits you found stuck to you and carried around throughout your turbulent adulthood. he clung to your side and assigned you the duty as his titular “person”, whatever that meant.

then there was huang renjun.

it isn’t as if he was unapproachable, per say, he was simply perpetual to consistent avoidance. he exchanged regular smiles yet didn’t divulge any further, somewhat unfriendly and argumentative, especially when donghyuck got on his nerves.

trivially, the only true reason you two became friends is because you assisted him in vomiting up his guts after he’d got a lashing for a mistake in the earlier days. your hand remained on the small of his back for the entire fifteen minutes, and when he finished unleashing his true extent of vulnerability upon you, he threatened you to keep your mouth shut, that threat just so happens to be the bow which ties the knot to your relationship.

renjun is able to refer to the patients as the human beings they are, sensitive and overly stubborn sure, but he’s decent under all the sour looks paired with plentiful insults.

zhong chenle? in a completely different league.

“fifty bucks y/n’s little conquest works at this hospital” he opts to enter, sliding into the spot beside you and exchanging a few looks as if he dumped his life savings onto the table for you to gorge on.

“fifty bucks my wha— how’d you even..?”

“aeri likes to gossip” chenle replies, full of cheek. “and a little birdie told me they saw you leaving the on-call room all flustered”.

“a little— who?”

“i can’t tell you my sources”.

“what if i just had a really good nap?”

“thirty bucks it’s an intern” renjun decides to add on, and you blink his way in sheer betrayal. yes they’re right but you didn’t divulge your weeks ago on-call room hookup story time to anybody, you just.. thought about it.

“that’s what yizhuo was saying! you know we have a bet right?” he digs through his pocket before pulling out an unscathed piece of paper. “let’s see we have dr suh from plastics, yeonjun, dejun, and our very own nepo baby na jaemin, pretty good don’t you think?”

“why is jaemin on the list? take jaemin off the list,” though you swipe for the paper, chenle’s got some fast ass hands.

“no no hear me out, okay? he has my vote because the tension is undeniable but i’m on your side and i don’t think you’ll give into his whims”.

“what whims?”

“his seduction tactic including starting petty fights?” renjun recalls, blinking in your direction as if attempting some newly discovered form of communication. “he probably gets off on that..”

“oh he does!”

and then they begin, you simply sigh as you make the effort to finish your lunch, acquainted with the leftovers you again had to heat up because there was little time for you to actually cook something new.

“jaemin’s a freak, wonil said—“

“we can’t trust anything he says, he’s literally fucking dr. dudebro” you steal a fry off chenle’s plate, humming along with your bite.

“i thought they broke it off?” renjun asks in denial, though his gleaming ‘i knew it’ look would completely beg to differ.

“oh come on! everybody knows they’re still fucking, no mystery, no thrill”.

renjun crinkles his nose at the display of crudeness, you don’t forget to recall the thirty bucks he entered into this godforsaken betting pool. “can i kill him?”

your hands raise in mock surrender. “not in front of me, we swore an oath of peace” you rise from your place and keep your plate in your bag. “besides there’s no mystery, no thrill”.

“don’t leave me with him!” renjun squeaks. “where are you going!?”

you do not let up the walking, however, you allow him at least one reassuring smile.

“to see a guy about a thing!”

~

in a rare act of perfect timing, you’re just able to sprint to the elevator as soon as it’s closing. by the power of the universe’s most evil, jaemin is the only one inside, and he blankly stares as you hold your folders out to hold the door before ducking in. you hit the button for the sixth floor and begin panting as you lean against the wall.

jaemin barely spares a glance, but his smile says everything. “back for more already?”

“did you tell anyone about us?”

he opts to chuckle at that one. “us? we sleep together once and you’re already thinking there’s an us baby?”

“shut the fuck up, na, like half our class is in a betting pool for when i’m going to let you into my pants so i swear to god if you told anybody i’m going to ship you to the O.R and harvest all of your fucking organs”.

the threat shines brightly above him, smile shimmering. “i’m sure you’d love to do that”.

his smile is endless and the point by which his stare begins is simply dark, it’s that stupid dead-eyed stare that could murder anyone just by one mere glance. if looks could kill, your insides would’ve been splattered all over this elevator currently.

finally, jaemin rolls his eyes.

“christ, relax, no i didn’t, i definitely don’t know anything about a bet either”.

you let out a much needed breath and again allow yourself to lean against the wall of the elevator. the only worse thing than people thinking your friends with jaemin is people thinking you’re actively sleeping with jaemin. well— okay you suppose there are worse things to be known for but being pegged as the intern banging na jaemin is definitely up there.

“i meant what i said by the way, that was a one time thing”.

“of course”.

“stop fucking smiling like that”.

it appears to be his innate need to ensure your irritation, his smile barely resists the clear urge to grow at the sight of your frown. “god, thought you liked my smile?”

“it’s never happening again” you insist. “no more sex, not with you anyway”.

“great” jaemin replies. he finally does turn to face you. “so when you say never again are you actually making a definite final decision or are you simply playing hard to get?”

“what do you think?” you retort, you’re two floors away from your destination, the lab reports you’re clutching much vicely resulting in sweaty palms.

jaemin licks his lips, all high and mighty. “i’m sure you don’t want to know what i’m thinking”.

you look up to meet his stare in a singular effort to glare equally as hard, it’s futile. jaemin’s got the eyes of a predator, as if he’ll pounce if you attempt a single move out of this elevator, it’s striking, his eyes trail all the way up from your terribly expensive shoes and up your body, stopping at your mouth.

he seems pleased with himself, tipping his head forward when the elevator dings at your floor.

you allow a squint, briskly leaving him behind. it’s only three steps out of the elevator that you realize you left him without an answer, therefore leaving him with the last word, but you conclude you’ve walked too far to shout, yet it seems jaemin has no qualms.

“you know where to find me!” he calls.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 3: good sex is addicting! healthy? eh..

naturally it happens again..

and again,

and once again.

if you were in a better place of mind, perhaps if you didn’t contain loads of work on your shoulder and slumped with courses of continuous caffeine, you’d find the right mind to chide yourself for making such a stupid decision, but you’re simply a selfish and desperate man. this is like— the best sex you’ve had since undergrad, not that there were many good examples to be the judge of that one anyway (with little offense given to shotaro, he’s a sweetheart but you two barely ever got it on as it is).

the thing is, you’re beginning to have a little fun with it. sure, you’d felt as if you were betraying yourself after the second or third time but it’s now become its own little adventure. sneaking around and whispering in the hallways in tandem with disappearing into random storage closests is fun.

jaemin is merely jaemin when it’s all over, barbed wire esqe jaemin with a personality you’d liken to some miserable children’s movie villain.

but it works, it isn’t as if you’re doing this because jaemin has a to die for personality, you’re doing it because you’re stressed, despite the fact that he is probably the main contributor of such stress, he at least helps you relieve that stress.

“somethings up with you,” jeno makes apparent when he walks past the couch, casual, conversational.

droning on the television is some nature documentary you don’t recall turning on, acting as background noise as you observe the surgery dr. kim assigned you. you technically aren’t allowed to bring your work home but you’ve also always enjoyed poking holes into rules, you bring your teeth down on a goldfish cracker that you’ve had between your fingers for about five minutes.

“what?” you finally reply.

“you seem different” jeno rewords graciously. “brighter, less.. porcupine-y”.

“i can be mean if you want,” you decide. “you want that puppy?”

jeno turns red, continuous head shaking as he clears his throat. “i just meant— i don’t know, you seem a little less miserable than before, not all grouchy, i’m happy for you”.

“pfft— thanks, always knew you loved me nono”.

his chagrin at such a nickname manifests in his much particular nose scrunch, his arms folding over his chest stubbornly. “don’t call me that.. so anyway, what changed?”

“hm?”

he leans over the couch, staring you down suspiciously, unnaturally nosy. “you can’t just decide to not be miserable overnight, what happened?”

you tilt your head up at him. “i’m getting to scrub in on proper surgeries, and i’m getting laid!”

jeno appears surprised, though gladdened anyway. “oh really? so who’s the guy then?”

you squint at him. “chenle put you up to this?”

“what?” he seems taken aback, but equally completely caught. “no?”

you open your mouth to rebut that clear lie, yet you’re both interrupted by lee donghyuck barreling into the room, looking too good for a regular saturday night, fancy overcoat draped over his arm that he definitely stole from renjun.

“stop looking at me and help me put this on” he motions towards his empty wrist and a fancy looking bracelet.

jeno simply whistles lowly.

“where are you going dressed up like this?” you inquire in the manner of a scrutinizing parent. “you got a date?” you don’t miss his avoidance of eye contact once you actually fasten the thing around his wrist.

“..yes”,

jeno applauds happily, much too excited, as if he were the one going on a date.

“give us a spin” you chide.

“seriously?”

both you and jeno nod in unison.

donghyuck begrudgingly obliges.

“you look good” jeno states.

“very good” you ruffle his hair irritatingly, and he hisses as he bats your hand away, muttering his small thanks. “have fun!”

you make sure to blow him a kiss on his way out, donghyuck makes sure to slam the door on his way out.

jeno then turns to you. “can i guess your guy’s name?”

“no!”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 4: secrets out eventually!!

you suppose you had to eventually tell your friends at some point, of course that would include admitting zhong chenle is right and that sucks the life out of you for a much identifiable reason. the other three are bound to find out about jaemin soon enough, because whilst you’ve never been a talker, it’s getting annoying to do the constant walk of shame to jaemin’s apartment.

“i’m really trying to understand what your problem with me is” jaemin grins, all teeth, perfectly straight purely white fucking teeth. you’re back in the closet again, you can’t help but surmise that there’s a joke in there somewhere.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t, it’s simply so cute how you get angry, kinda turns me on”.

you decide to ignore that one, wiping your mouth over with the back of your hand. you then focus on getting your shirt back to its original, somewhat normal looking form, god you’re so reckless.

“i’m just saying.. if you put effort into actually getting to know me we’d actually be pretty good— fuck ow!” he winces in the manner of a kicked puppy, all because you twisted a piece of skin between your fingers.

“i’m not interested in getting to know you, thought i made that clear” you voice.

“only thing you’ve made clear is that you believe it’s your god given right to hate me since no one else does”.

“oh you make me feel so special, i’m sure there’s someone else in this world who hates you as much as i do”.

“sure y/n” jaemin begins, “i find it hard to believe you actually do hate me” he nips at your ear, you really shouldn’t let jaemin kiss your neck, but you don’t push him off, he’d throw a hissy fit.

just as his hand begins venturing downward the closest door creaks open, and you two jump apart as if you’ve been caught, standing in the doorway is none other than lee donghyuck.

“what the fuck?” he whispers, quickly closing the door behind him. when he steps into the dingy white light, you notice the wet tears against his eyelashes, everything else is erased from your mind.

“hey” you begin, voice soft. “what’s wrong? did something happen?” you smooth over your scrubs.

“nothing” his voice gives it away. “we can’t cry mid shift anymore?”

no, but donghyuck hasn’t cried over a patient in a while, that’s typically your prerogative.

“it’s wonil” he sniffs. “stupid fucking kim wonil,” he sits down on an upturned bucket, once you kneel beside him, he pulls you into a hug to bury his tear streaked face against your neck. “i’m gonna have to change my name and transfer to gwangju instead!”

you look over donghyuck’s trembling shoulder at jaemin, who appears just as clueless as you are. he instead opts to patting the small of his back in support, rubbing soothing strokes. “could i have some elaboration, babe?”

“he used me” he says, holding onto his sobs. “took me on a stupid fucking fancy date and then i caught him with mark lee— oh my god, he.. he lied to me, he said they broke it off months ago but that obviously wasn’t true and he kept scrubbing in on the important surgeries, i thought he— we were going out for months and i just, fuck i feel awful y/n”.

well that’s.. not what you expected to hear at all. your head spins.

“wait— wonil? that’s who?”

“can we not talk about that part right now?” he simply allows for the tears to free fall, you attempt to wipe them as best you can.

sure, it’s nothing.

“did he tell you? how’d you even find this out?”

“no he didn’t i saw them” he covers his face with his own hands, distraught. “and he didn’t even care..”

“then none of it is your fault” you assure, patting the side of his arms. “he’s an asshole”.

it doesn’t quell donghyuck enough, his shoulders continuously quivering. “i had a bad feeling, i really should’ve known better—“

“he’s a cheat, he should know better, don’t beat yourself up over this”.

“i fucking loved him y/n” he rests his head onto your shoulder, something twisted and horrible lodged in his throat, tears endless.

~

it’s raining because of course it’s raining.

“it’s storming pretty bad” jaemin quips, conversationally. “do you not want me to call you a ride?”

you simply allow a small breath to escape your lips, hair tousled as you slip your jacket on through your arms. “nah, the bus works just fine” you say, wiping your hands on your pants despite your much irritation.

“and i’m guessing you don’t want to wait until it’s let up either?”

“i have to get home cause jeno’s working late and— hyuck’s alone, don’t want him to be..” you mutter, glancing down at your watch as you crinkle your nose at the time. “he’s been baking since the whole wonil thing happened, need to make sure he doesn’t burn down the apartment”.

jaemin doesn’t have to put anymore work into convincing you. “alright, have fun”.

you do the typical before leaving checkup, you have your keys, your phone, cash, and a bus pass, good. it’s silent, awkward, not much of a regular conversation when he isn’t bending you over a table.

but there’s something you really need to know.

“hey jaemin?”

“hm?” he doesn’t look up from his phone.

“should we talk about.. this?”

“well talking about it makes it weird”.

you consider your next words very carefully. “i’m lonely, you know”.

jaemin then puts his phone down. “i’m lost”.

you’re unaware of why exactly you feel the need to divulge context about whatever your relationship happens to be, you keep thinking back to donghyuck and you remember the liabilities caused by workplace relationships. you’re afraid you can’t stomach another complicated relationship, situations that wrap around your head in a nauseating fashion. not that jaemin is boyfriend material or anything but—

“the first time we hooked up? in the on-call room? i did it because i just got off a bad breakup and i was stressed and.. you were my first option”.

jaemin remains frozen in his place, gaze pointed, chest perfectly accentuated in his shir— stop looking there y/n. “what i’m trying to say is that i was desperate and it’s important you know that because—“

“get to the point”.

“i don’t want this to.. you know, be more than what it is, like.. domestic and shit”.

“oh jesus, okay y/n” he pinches the bridge of his nose, as if you irritated him. “you’re asking me not to fall in love with you right? you could’ve just said that then”.

“it sounds stupid”.

“and your other option sounded better?”

“whatever, i’m going, good talk”.

“great talk”.

“stop trying to get the last word in”.

“i’m not trying to do anything”.

“goodnight”.

“don’t say things you don’t mean”.

“fine, i hope you have a terrible one, i hope your roof catches on fire and you sleep through it and it all comes crashing onto you so your death is all slow and painful, happy?”

jaemin smiles, waving you off with each of his fingers as you storm out of the door, into the pouring rain, slamming it shut behind you.

you take a short walk and an even shorter bus ride home, yet when you enter your apartment you’re absolutely drenched.

the whole house smells of sugar and semi-baked sweets, it almost reminds you of home, back when you’d fuck shit up with your sisters in the kitchen. the now added on pain is the continuous ringing of the fire alarm, donghyuck standing at the counter fanning smoke with an empty box of brownie mix.

you sigh as you kick off your shoes.

“what the hell did you do?”

“i have it under control” donghyuck whines.

“hyuck—“

“don’t step any closer” he threatens, butter knife in hand.

your hands raise in mock surrender, a flat look sent his way. “you’re being ridiculous”.

“sorry” he puts the knife down, breathing labored. “help me?”

you two sit down on the kitchen floor and have brownies and ice cream for dinner, an ironic feat for a pair of medical professionals, but this is simply one of those things licensed under free will you have as an adult, the kind of thing that makes you think maybe parental supervision is a good need. besides, sugar is good for heartbreak.

“i don’t wanna go to work tomorrow” donghyuck mutters, beginning to consistently tap his head onto the counter, as if attempting to bash his brains out. “this is so stupid”.

“it’ll be fine, i’m sure no one will question you up front”.

he glances upward. “my former sort of boyfriend is fucking the most popular attending neurosurgeon, and people think i was homewrecking whatever the hell they have going, you think people just forget that?”

you lick your spoon clean. “yeah it’s not looking good,” you admit, scratching the back of your head. “but i’m here to help you through it, and samoyed will be there to bark at anyone who looks at you funny”.

donghyuck gives a weak laugh and leans his head onto your shoulder. “yeah yeah, whatever..”

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 5: fuck the domestics, fuck na jaemin.

of course because the universe has a really good sense of humor, mark lee and kim wonil are the first people you and donghyuck see when the elevator dings on the first floor. wonil looks at a loss for words, you’d pride him on such amusement if you weren’t looking to cause him bodily harm.

“uh” mark starts.

“we’re taking the stairs” and since you’re a good friend you do not complain when donghyuck drags you up four flights of stairs.

in his valiant efforts to stay away from neuro, donghyuck gets assigned to obstetrics for the day, whilst you end up back with dr. kim in cardio, which is always a simultaneous blessing and curse. the patient you’re seeing—kiara— has been going back and forth on getting the surgery for a while, and doyoung seemed more than relieved when you showed up with those signed consent forms.

you worked your ass off to get onto this case. you stayed up late all night reading into the procedure, designing a diagram which detailed the surgical process despite the fact that you wouldn’t be carrying it out yourself. observing a complex surgery like this is a rarity for interns, so you intend to soak up every bit of knowledge you can.

so, by design, you’re also standing beside the operating table when her pulse dips, her clutched hand falling dormant in your hold. after the frenzy of orders getting called out and defibrillators charging, there’s nothing but the long, insistent beep of a flatline.

dr. kim calls out the time of death.

realistically, nothing could have been done. she’d waited too long to take the surgery, her vascular walls were weak. it was the best surgeons in the room, and if they couldn’t save her then maybe it was just her time.

you break down in the tunnel despite all of that, you’re sitting on one of the beds against the wall, aware of your own ridiculousness, yet allowing for the tears to brim up anyway.

the only reason kiara was terrified of getting that surgery was because she was afraid of dying on that table, she was scared of dying, and you’d held her hand while they put her under, promising she’d be okay.

that was the mistake.

patient outcomes are never promised, and as much as they remind you, as much as you’re aware that this is in your line of work, death just so happens to spring up on you instantaneously, you can never really fully prepare for it.

“she was going to die anyway” you don’t have to glance up to meet the face behind the voice, simply acquainted with the sight of jaemin’s shoes.

“i know”.

“so why are you sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?”

you sigh, massaging a finger to your temple, your head hurts, it all hurts. “go away” another sob pushes itself up out of your chest, another sniffle, more snot.

but would na jaemin ever genuinely listen to an order? absolutely not. he did not go away, he stepped closer, a hand gracing your shoulder.

your own shoulders slump, you’re completely and utterly disappointed in yourself.

“i don’t need you to say anything,” he breathes. “i’m just telling you that it’s okay..”

“it’s not okay” you seethe. “would you have made the same mistake? would you be in my position if it was you?”

you take everything too personal, you need to start thinking like a surgeon, there’s no room for sensitivity in a field like this, dr. kim had said. he made you break the news to her family, have to watch the washed over expressions and the chorus of sobbing as you attempted to contain your own.

“well i wouldn’t have gotten attached..”

and it sounds so condescending, lowly, superiority reigned over your head. you’ve had a terrible day, and all you can do is sob in your own pity as jaemin just stands there.

it’s so easy to get swallowed up in your pride, tout your pigheadedness in front of jaemin on a regular front with spouted curses and illusions high. you suppose jaemin doesn’t have the best standards for you, you didn’t even do anything, but the fashion of your personality you’d displayed was enough of a case.

“y/n” jaemin calls, soft, you almost don’t hear him. the mattress dips with his added pressure, a hand coming to touch the side of your face, fingertips cold as they tuck strands of your hair behind your ear. jaemin’s hands are always cold. “y/n, hey”.

you don’t respond, can’t do anything but let jaemin pull you against his chest. it’s an odd feeling because it’s the thing you needed from the last person you expected to give it to you. you exhale shakily, closing your eyes and reveling in the prospect of being held.

“you suck at this” you sob, on principle of course.

“hush” jaemin murmurs. he rests his chin atop your head, and he says nothing more, doesn’t even pull away either. you cry until you have no more left to give, your shift isn’t quite over yet, you have charts to finish and labs to read over. you push at jaemin to let you go.

“m��fine” you sniffle, posture straightening as you wiped the tears from your cheeks. you feel reckless, embarrassed, like a child. your face is burning hot, but at least you feel better. jaemin is staring, as if he’s experiencing a certain thing for the first time.

you look away.

“i’m fine” you repeat. “don’t look at me like that”.

jaemin clears his throat as if snapping out of an episode. “i know you don’t care for my opinion, but i think you’re doing great”.

“you what..?”

jaemin nods, doesn’t elaborate on any of it, it’s awkward.

your pager beeps, and once you glance down at the location, you silently curse at the location being half across the hospital.

“right, um thank you, i guess i’ll.. uh, see you later?”

“you know where to find me”.

jeno seeks you out first once your shift is over, apprehensive as always.

“you okay? i heard what happened..”

“yeah m’fine” you pause before the doors to allow jeno to catch you, donghyuck and renjun won’t be done for another hour, and it’s once again pouring outside. “i just need to shower and sleep for fifty hours”.

jeno is already looking at you when you glance over. you’ve heard your fair share of stories concerning surgical failures, much too close to one when in your childhood, but experiencing one firsthand just really took it all out of you.

“i’m going to get better at this surgeon thing right? i have to?” you ask.

“you will” jeno replies, silent. he links your fingers together, a warm feeling. he then nudges you, the slightest bit of comfort in the affection laced gesture. “we both will”.

~

there’s a small switch flip after that.

jaemin remains jaemin. perfectly polished jaemin, hardened in the face of death, all precise and unphased, yet you lay your heart bare for it all, fortitude at the forefront of your emotions.

occasionally, you find yourself looking over at jaemin when he’s too engrossed in his work or conversation to notice.

when you observe him, you attempt to figure out where the fortitude of his beating organ lies. it appears jaemin acts in kindness when he thinks no one else is looking. you wonder if that’s a true display or if that’s simply another mask he wears around for the hell of it, getting into the sweet spots of littler kids is a spectacular move. then again, it takes a special kind of evil to be mean to kids. sure, jaemin’s a bit of an asshole, but he isn’t all bloods evil.

that isn’t such a hard concept to grasp.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 6: running out of terrifically timed titles

the tumultuous disarray of your life provides solace, somewhat regular sex escapades with jaemin continue and donghyuck is often too tipsy once you get home from your shifts later in the week. you surmise he’s simply coping with his situation in manners he’s accustomed to, though both you and jeno would love to chide him for the unhealthiness, you two also can’t talk, ever since you found that unlimited espresso machine in the second floor cafeteria, it’s basically become your life source. jeno will scold you for that one when he eventually finds out, though it’s good to know jungwoo doesn’t mind, simply passing you with mild apprehension whenever you go grab another cup.

you guess you can’t talk about anything, but you also can’t help worrying about your friend.

“l/n, did you follow up on those scans i asked for?” dr. kim unabashedly ambushes you whilst you’re in the middle of a good speed powered walk, files almost tumbling out of your bundled arms.

“uh— yes, they redid them so they aren’t blurry, and i also put in that psych eval you requested, i have all of them here”.

“nice work, will you be available to scrub in tomorrow morning?”

you blink at him, baffled. “i— oh my god yes, thank you um..” you honestly didn’t expect that one after the prior incident with kiara. you assumed for sure doyoung would stand between you and the O.R for a couple of months.

“is there a reason you’re still standing in front of me?”

you blush, embarrassed. “i’m sorry i just.. i know you don’t think i’m cut out for this so I’m unsure of why you chose me”.

for a slim moment, there’s genuine in doyoung’s eyes. “well i’ll have you know opinions can change, will you move out of my way now”.

you pause. “of course, sorry, thank you, i appreciate it”.

“you’d better” he beams, placing yet another stack in your arms. “could you drop these off at the nurses station for me?”

you make your way back downstairs, still reeling from the previous words said to your face, when you hear a familiar voice.

“is dr l/n here? well, no— he’s an intern”.

you look up from the nurses station immediately, catching a glimpse of osaki shotaro’s identifiable tuft of hair, golden blonde, still dyed. he hasn’t changed since you last saw him, well you suppose a few months really don’t provide anything substantial in the area of change.

“taro?”

when he glances up, he breaks into one of his bright smiles and he parts (hyperbole) the hallway to get to you. “y/n, hey, hi”.

“what— what are you doing here? is everything okay? is your mom oka—“

“i’m fine, everyone’s fine it’s just.. i mean— i don’t know actually i was just nearby and i wanted to see you? i know i’m the one who broke up with you and all but i was sure there was a high chance you’d be here instead of.. well anywhere else”.

“yeah” you laugh. “yeah that is true”.

“it’s nice to see you” he fiddles with his bracelet, reaching over to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, a natural habit, you grab onto his wrist before his fingers can grace your skin. shotaro pauses for a moment, cheeks colored pink in embarrassment as he slips from your hold.

“sorry— i um.. can we just talk actually?”

your face warms rather quickly. “uh..”

“oh hello” jaemin appears—literally out of nowhere—“are you here for a patient?”

“no actually he was just leaving—“

“i’m shotaro” he tilts his head to read jaemin’s id card. “you’re.. dr na?” he extends his hand for a handshake, jaemin ignores it. you almost want to tell him off for such a thing.

“yes, you must be the boyfriend”.

“ex boyfriend” you both say.

jaemin inhales a bated breath, handing you a stack of files. “jungwoo said to give these to you, the chief needs all the records manually inputted before you get off your shift today”.

“but—“

“we’re all splitting work, that’s your stack and this is mine”.

“i’m supposed to be having lunch” you frown.

jaemin shrugs, nothing of helpful. “do them after, i don’t care, i’m just the messenger”.

“it was nice meeting you”.

“sure” jaemin flashes a noncommittal smile, then, as quick as he came, he’s gone.

“is he always like that?” shotaro inquires, you sigh, much loudly.

“yeah, kind of, at first glance..”

“so lunch! can i treat you?”

you chuckle. “well i can’t leave so i hope you don’t mind hospital food”.

it’s (surprisingly) a very enjoyable experience for you.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 7: coupling 1000

on tuesday, lee jeno walks into the locker room looking slightly askew, yet completely elated, brightened in some unusual fashion.

you let out a low whistle. “now what the fuck has you so happy?”

“nothing”.

“is it a guy?”

“no!” jeno refutes, the bright red hue paired with the shrill squeaked ‘no’ do naught for his argument. “it’s not that”.

“you have that after guy glow”.

“you’re insane”.

“he’s right though” jaemin wraps an inviting arm around his shoulder, jeno full on pouts. “you look awfully stunning this morning, jeno”.

“fuck?”

“you’re okay”.

“damn, why’s it feel like every intern in this hospital is getting some but me?” donghyuck grouches, you instantly share a look with renjun.

at the inevitable silence, donghyuck groans again. “don’t answer that”.

“yeah cause you’d only be told the obvio—“

“good morning~” kim jungwoo sings, much too delighted for the time of day. “glad to see all of you interns actually in on time, l/n and na you’ll be helping mark prep his patient, zhong and lee one you’ll be in the pit, and.. huang and lee two on charts, any complaints? wonderful! get going!”

mark lee has the discontented mannerisms of a teenage boy, awkward stutters and all, you often neglect to recall that he’s a revered surgeon prided for performing some of the best brain operations in the country, technically your boss.

you haven’t spent much time around him, you actively avoid kim wonil for the sake of donghyuck’s (and your own) sanity, looking into the eyes of mark lee, he appears bashful, shyly boyish in a manner akin to a formerly stranger lee jeno.

“guess he’s still avoidant”.

you snort, jaemin sucks his teeth, you then sigh with your tongue prodding at the side of your cheek. “well he can’t look at you without thinking about..”

now that you think about it, you’ve never really had a conversation with kim wonil, what’s even with the guy?

“oh” his face drops in that distinct kicked puppy fashion, you merely sigh.

“just give him space, okay? he’ll surely come around”.

“space.. really?”

“space is good” jaemin chimes in. “and either way he’s not your intern, we are, can we go now?”

he’s always been ever so impatient.

~

yang jungwon is a twenty year old college student with a tumor pressing down on his frontal temporal lobe. “it’s affecting his impulse control,” mark warns. “so if he says something a bit forward, that’s why”.

“forward?” you question.

when mark, you and jaemin walk into jungwon’s room, his mother is sitting beside his bed, smoothing over his sheets with her hands. mark bids them good morning and introduces you two as the interns which will be overseeing the surgery, the first thing jungwon says is:

“jesus you all are hot, is that requirement here? why are you all so hot? are there more of you?”

“jungwon” his mother softly chides.

forward, you hum, jaemin only makes an agreeing noise beside you.

“sorry, was that rude? i’m very sorry”.

“he’s usually shy” his mother explains. “he doesn’t mean to be offensive”.

“no offense taken ma’am, that’s probably the nicest thing a patient has said to us in a while” mark replies. “how are you feeling won?”

“my mom’s nervous so now i’m nervous and the food here sucks by the way, i don’t really wanna have brain surgery but i have to be optimistic so yay!”

“that’s the spirit!” mark cheers. “okay, dr. l/n here is gonna run a couple of tests to make sure everything is okay, dr. na will handle all the paperwork, if you still want to proceed i can have you scheduled for O.R two bright and early tomorrow morning, i’ll make sure everything goes smoothly for you okay?”

“can i get snacks from the vending machine to make it go smoother?”

“i’ll do it” his mother offers. “don’t give dr. l/n a hard time, okay?”

mark leaves with jaemin and mrs. yang to grab snacks and necessary consent forms, you begin putting on your gloves to give jungwon a routine examination.

“dr. l/n can i ask you a question?” jungwon asks.

you remove the stethoscope from your ears, giving him a small smile. “go ahead, i’m all ears”.

“well it’s more of a personal question” he twiddles his thumbs, smile stretched widely as he tilts his head towards you. “are you two like.. together?”

“me and who?”

“the other, other hot doctor with all the teeth, the one who was in here just now”.

“me and.. na?”

“yeah, is he your boyfriend? he was looking like he wanted to eat you, i was honestly getting worried by how intense he was staring”.

that shocks a fit of laughter out of you. “no no, he wasn’t—he’s.. he’s not my boyfriend”.

“oh okay, well if nobody’s told you yet then i’m a hundred percent sure he wants to jump your bones, and also be your boyfriend”.

you clear your throat, flustered by jungwon’s sense of earnesty. “we’re not together, just coworkers”.

“do you have a boyfriend?”

you sigh and lean forward, pressing two fingers on either side of his neck to feel for a carotid pulse. “you’ve said the word boyfriend an awful lot in these past few minutes,” you pause. “no i don’t”.

“okay” jungwon says. “this is going to sound a bit presumptuous, but if i survive the surgery, will you go out with me?”

you skillfully sidestep such a question. “that’s not presumptuous, dr. lee is one of the best brain surgeons in the country, he’s going to make sure you come out just fine, your most likely outcome is positive”.

jungwon stops, blinking up at you, galaxies in his pupils. “i think we might be soulmates”.

“yang jungwon”.

“that’s me”.

“you’re cute, and sweet, and funny— but i absolutely cannot go out with you”.

“is it the brain damage thing? i’ve been told that’s a dealbreaker”.

“don’t be cheeky, how old are you again? twenty?”

“twenty going on twenty five”.

you laugh. “you have your whole life ahead of you to find a soulmate, people don’t really have a good time dating me, you’ll be dodging a bullet”.

“what, why not?”

“won—can i call you won?”

“you can call me anything you want..”

“won” you stress, “i spend about eighty hours a week in this hospital, i barely have time to eat or sleep or even think about anything that doesn’t include cutting someone open, my last boyfriend dumped me for that reason, i couldn’t do that again, and i definitely don’t think you want to”.

“ah i see” jungwon says, he’s silent for a while before he asks: “you’re saying it would make sense for you to date someone who works as much as you do, like another doctor, right?”

“well that wasn’t the point but i guess that makes sense then”.

jungwon smiles as if he’s figured out something. “so do you like dr. na then?”

“dr. na is standing right there” jaemin chimes in. you two both turn to see him standing in the doorway, “i have consent forms, i already went over the procedure with your mom, i’m aware mark probably covered it with you, but if it would make you more comfortable i could go over it with you myself”.

both you and jungwon stare at him.

“what?”

“is he always like this?”

you smile in his direction, giggling as you ruffle his hair. “yeah”.

“didn’t peg you as the type to flirt with patients” jaemin utters later in the nurse station whilst you two idle around in feigned ignorance as if you don’t have mountains of work weighing on your shoulders. jungwon had personally asked for you to scrub in on his surgery, and it’s clear jaemin was just the slightest bit envious, you would be too if in his shoes. mark’s surgeries are always the most fun to watch.

“i wasn’t flirting, he was simply asking invasive questions so i entertained him, he’s a nice kid, it’s called having good bedside manners”.

“are you saying i don’t have good bedside manner?”

“your words, not mine”.

“i don’t care, you were definitely flirting back”.

“i thought you didn’t care?”

“i don’t”.

“well there’s your answer”.

jungwon comes out just fine, you and jaemin however, you take a while to recover.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 8: well i guess he’s fine..

at the end of the week you typically only prefer to gorge on the junk food remained tucked in your refrigerator and embrace the warmth of your bed, but everybody knows you don’t always get the things you want, especially you in your kicked rock of a life.

“are you ready?” renjun bounces on his heels, changed out of his scrubs already, breathing down your neck in an effort to fasten your process of changing.

“what are you all doing tonight?” jaemin inquires, suddenly nosy.

“well i wanted to go home to eat ice cream then sleep all night, but since it’s the last wednesday of the month and we have tomorrow off renjun wants to go do karaoke at the local bar”.

“it’s kind of our tradition!” jeno offers, he’s sat down on one of the benches, lacing up his dunks. “you should come with us, drinks are half off until midnight”.

“you should come! it’ll be so fun, y/n has the voice of an angel”.

your cheeks color red in embarrassment. “well actually—“

“stop trying to be humble now, just admit it” renjun then turns to jaemin. “please? you literally never hang out with us”.

you can’t see renjun’s face, but you know he’s using that pleading puppy look to sell his point.

you watch jaemin crumble in real time.

“alright, guess it couldn’t hurt”.

what hurts is your throat after demolishing a flurry of early 2000s hits. now your ears are beginning to pain as renjun, donghyuck and chenle go head to head, they’ve rapped to super bass three times in a row, and donghyuck continuously doubles over in laughter whenever chenle messes up a single lyric. you aren’t complaining though, this is about the happiest you’ve seen donghyuck in the week, it makes you feel all warm seeing him laughing and all full of bashful insults.

jaemin has been nursing the same beer since you’ve arrived, tucked away on the couch in an effort to not participate in such nonsense. it dawns on you that you normally don’t hang out with him outside of the hospital much, and you wonder if he even has friends outside the hospital.

before you stop yourself, you’re wriggling out of jeno’s lap and making your way over to jaemin. he looks over when you get close, eyes traveling from the loose neckline of your shirt to your face.

“hiii”, you greet.

“hello, you’re drunk”.

“just a little” you giggle, hiccuping on nothing. “you look all moody and broody in the shadows, are you not having fun?”

“i am, you guys are just..” jaemin pauses, again glancing back at the scene before seemingly taking back a few words. “i am”.

you hum, whistling in the air. “i need some fresh air, come with me?”

jaemin nods, following behind you in the manner of a shadow out of the establishment. you two end up sitting on the sidewalk, chilling air offering you solace as you attempt to sober up.

it’s chillier than it was before, but you bask in the cold instead, short sleeves acting as nothing of a barrier.

“that was quite the performance back there” jaemin says quietly.

“thank you, yeah i can’t compare to donghyuck but singing is.. you know, just a hobby”.

you shiver offhandedly, jaemin observes for a while before offering you over his jacket, caging it around you in his lingering warmth. you yearn to comment on it, he practically dares you to, so you take it in silence.

“you know what would be amazing? a hot spicy bowl of kimchi jjigae”.

it’s been a while since you’ve been able to cook a genuine meal, the shifts take it all out of you and turning on any kitchen appliances gives you anxiety after a long shift. eating is a whole shove and go sort of a thing, you don’t pay much mind to it anymore. “now why would you put that in my head? i’m hungry” you whine.

“i know a good spot near the hospital, their stuff is like home”.

you ignore the mention of home.

“you’re just making it worse”.

“sorry” jaemin is not sorry. “maybe we can go together after work sometimes”.

“oh, like with the other interns? that’d be nice..”

jaemin looks caught, he swallows down nothing. “no i mean.. just us”.

you freeze. “oh”.

“what? having sex with me is okay but dinner is completely out of the question?”

“no” you reply defensively. “it’s just— us, you know? we can’t even go a few words without arguing, we don’t do dinner, the only thing we have in common is that we’re stuck up surgeons, we don’t do dinner”.

jaemin presses his lips into a flat line, the kind of thing he does when he’s looking for something nice to say. “we’re friends”.

you almost lurch forward, perhaps drinking was not a good idea. you blink, completely knowing of your upcoming decision.

“you know what? yeah, let’s get dinner”.

“right now?”

“no time like the present!” you shout, holding your hand out for jaemin as you rise from the sidewalk. he takes it, intertwining your fingers as you haul him off the ground,

“what about the others?”

“they’ll be fine” you excuse. “come on”.

you realize belatedly that it’s about midnight, which means most, if not all restaurants serving kimchi jjigae are closed. you two end up at the popular twenty four hour ramen spot instead, and you take time to sober up as you two wait in line. hanging off jaemin’s arm, you simply allow your head to lean against his shoulder, the other making no room for little complaints, you’ll regret being all clingy in the morning, but for now, it’s all up in the air. the waitress who seats you eyes you in that knowing way, she thinks you two are a couple, you decide to not correct her, there’s no benefit, she ensures a comment about how cute you two are.

“first thing i want to do after getting my license is..” jaemin begins. “treat the uppers at one of these places, like a celebratory dinner”.

“ramen for surgeons?”

“basically”.

you hum, tongue hot, all warm. “you wanna split this with me?” you inquire, referring to the takoyaki before you on a plate.

“can you even eat all that?” jaemin poses, clicking his tongue as he eyes the spread of appetizers. you aren’t a quitter, especially after a week of subpar meals you didn’t even bother turning on the stove to create. you raise your plate in his direction, offering a takoyaki ball which he takes a stab at.

“have you always wanted to be a surgeon?”

jaemin sighs. “we don’t have to do this”.

“do what?”

“the thing where we ask each other questions and pretend to care about the answers”.

“i do care” you press. “aren’t we friends? answer the question, minjae”.

“is that supposed to be a nickname?” jaemin grumbles. you’ve always had a knack for nicknames, jeno your main victim. “it sucks”.

“answer the question”.

he sighs again, but this time he’s smiling. “i mean, guess i always had the feeling, i was obsessed with that surgeon game when i was younger, i would sneak into my dad’s office and read up on all of his procedures, i read a lot of his stupid textbooks and was hooked forever”.

“oh”.

“yeah”.

“well it probably helped your family’s full of doctors huh?”

he pauses. “not really”.

you stop for a moment. “your dad is na kiwoo, he’s crazy good at his shit, he invented a whole new way to transplant bone marrow! your uncle is literally the chief of surgery at the hospital we intern at!”

you probably appear nerdy, you scratch the back of your ear, somewhat embarrassed. jaemin stares, clearing his throat. “my parents didn’t want me to become a surgeon”.

you are absolutely gobsmacked, jaemin goes through the effort of physically putting your jaw back in its place. “seriously?”

“absolutely, they did everything to make sure i wouldn’t get into the medical field, wanted me to get some bullshit sports scholarship, they refused to pay my tuition and basically said i ruined their dreams of having an olympian son so i went no contact”.

you scoff. “god”.

“right” he grins, though there’s little genuine. “i tried so hard to get into any program that didn’t have to do with guleum but look where i ended up”.

you blink as you attempt to process the influx of information. “but you’re destined for greatness— you’re your parents’ legacy”.

he dismissively waves. “it would be great if they cared, they have their noses buried in their work, can’t believe they thought i wouldn’t take it personal”.

“you’re still mad?”

“what do you think?”

and then he chuckles. you deliver a small smack to his shoulder, along the lines of an affectionate gesture. “they’re dickheads, you’re gonna be one of the best surgeons in the world, besides me”.

jaemin is now the one who’s surprised. “did you just compliment me?”

“hm.. think you’re hearing things”.

“sure” he stops. “so what about you, then? what got you into this program?”

your nose scrunches. “my sister, she always had complications growing up but she had to get a lobectomy when she was young because she had a tumor, after that she couldn’t talk for a while, we spent a lot of time at the hospital so that’s where the interest came from”.

“i didn’t know you had a sister”.

well you didn’t exactly care. “i have three, never a moment of peace”.

“oh i bet”.

your expression falters for a moment. “dad and mom didn’t want me to, get into the medical field that is, they thought i couldn’t do it, said it was a future depicted in failure and that i’d quit at the first loud shout”.

“you? quit?”

he appears genuinely shocked by such a revelation. “are you surprised?”

“kinda” he mutters, opting to glance directly at you. “you’ve always been so persevering, can’t imagine you quitting anything”.

you shrug. “they weren’t around much, i had to kinda fend for myself with three girls running around”.

“well you did it didn’t you?”

“yeah, all those my little pony reruns and sugar cookies” you muse, shaking your head. “i should not know as much as i do about that show”.

jaemin laughs at that one, and you can’t help the pride which swells in your chest. you belatedly realize that you’re enjoying this conversation, you two haven’t had a petty fight in a while, go figure.

“you aren’t that bad”.

“surprise”.

“so why are you so hellbent on proving it then?”

“preconceived notions go a long way, people hear my last name and think seven thousand different things, it gets tiring trying to prove them wrong, i don’t care anymore”.

but if his voice is anything, then he definitely does still care.

“okay so how exactly do you plan on getting home?” he inquires to you, leftover bags swinging in the light wind.

“the night bus”.

“you don’t drive?”

“i would kill myself” you blurt, and jaemin snorts. “don’t laugh, highways are terrifying, besides, the bus is empty at this time”.

“do they really run now?”

you stare flatly. “of course they do, i memorized the running hours”.

he has half a mind to giggle at that one, you then grab onto jaemin’s hand as you drag him towards the nearest bus stop.

your building lights remain blindingly bright once you finally reach your stop, jaemin following behind you in the fashion he always does.

“you really didn’t have to walk me”.

“i needed to make sure you’re in safely” he emphasizes, as if that makes any sense, he opts for an eye roll to sell the stubborn bit.

“aww, what a gentlemen you are minjae”.

he grumbles at the nickname, though his smile threatens to jump up at every glance.

for the first time since you and jaemin eloped, you take a glance at your watch, shocked at it being half past two already. “don’t you have work today? why didn’t you say anything?”

jaemin shrugs, flatly, very jaemin. “you guys were having fun, my shift’s at noon, it’s fine”.

“okay well, goodnight?”

“goodnight,” jaemin replies, and he leans forward for a peck, it’s short and sweet, by the time he’s done, you realize all too late, cheeks gone red as you instead blink.

“uh” you begin, very intelligent y/n, stellar. “that was.. um—“

“you okay?”

“no! i mean— yes i just, that was nice it was nice..” you exhale, “can i have another one?”

jaemin gives in, cupping your cheeks and drawing you in for another kiss. it shouldn’t go on for as long as it does, but you’re much too embarrassing to admit such a thing, instead you let him do it again, and again, and again, all soft against your lips.

“we probably shouldn’t do that again because..” your lips attempt to twitch up, you try to fasten that sincere expression on your features. “well you know—“

“right, no domestic shit” jaemin smiles, all teeth, so cocky.

you refuse to give him the satisfaction of a smile, turning towards the entrance in order to hide it. “goodnight”.

“goodnight” jaemin lingers for a moment, as if he wants to say something more. however, it appears he changes his mind once you glance back at him, he mirrors your turn back and begins walking off.

it’s not until you put the leftovers away and begin undressing for your shower that you realize you forgot to return him his jacket.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 9: the crush-not-crush phase

jaemin does the friend thing exceptionally well, he relays obscure anecdotes that you giggle at and sneaks in slight jabs when doyoung’s in the middle of an important sentence that has you nudging him in the stomach with your arm.

like right now, he’s droning on about a moment when a nanny almost burned down his parents house whilst trying to cook for him and you’re very much interested, sneaking snorts under your breath.

renjun, jeno and donghyuck all arrive, tapping you on your shoulder, you turn to glance with the slightest confusion.

there isn’t an exchange of words, they simply observe jaemin until he smiles, making up a story about having to go check up on a patient.

they all silently watch him leave.

“why’d you scare him off?” you complain, almost tapering off into whining territory.

“i just want to know what’s up with you two” renjun finally says.

you groan, donghyuck pushes as he takes a seat beside you. “we are not having this conversation again”. 

“is he your friend? your boyfriend? an eight month conquest? your shotaro replacement?”

“why does everyone think we’re dating—“

“i ran into him when he was leaving your room this morning” jeno drawls, flat, irritated in that soft way he always is. “i’m about to ask him to start pitching in on the water bill”.

“he’s not over that often”.

your argument falls flat at donghyuck’s eyebrow raise. “he has been this month, do you like him?”

“okay— i hook up with him a few times doesn’t mean i like him”.

“you two keep sneaking off every time we hang out, you basically made him our new pseudo roommate and you were doing that thing you do when you like someone”.

“what thing?”

“you get all giggly and playfully mean—“ donghyuck tucks his hair behind his ear and flutters his eyelashes, squealing in what you suppose is a high pitched imitation of your voice; “oh jaemin you’re sooo funny!”

you land a punch, neither renjun or jeno reach to stop your action despite donghyuck’s extensive complaints.

“i’m not— it doesn’t matter, how could i like jaemin? he’s a fucking shark, do you not remember what he did to me in my our first month?”

renjun glances around, as if searching around for a better excuse you could tout. “your point?”

“i don’t like him, i’m not dating him, it’s all for sex”.

“how long has this been going on again?”

you wrack your mind for an answer. “we started right after i got dumped so.. around late august?”

“oh my god” donghyuck says, his eyes blown out dramatically. “you’ve been sleeping with na jaemin for THREE MONTHS!?”

you decide to assault him again. “can you not be so loud?”

“and you haven’t killed him yet? ew, you do like him”.

“i don’t— what does—“

“oh you totally do! holy shit, is the dick that good!?”

when you take a liberal pause, renjun immediately crinkles his nose. “don’t actually answer that”.

“i wasn’t going to”.

“you were having sex flashbacks!”

“was not, get over yourself” you snark.

donghyuck looks one mouth opening away from speaking when mark lee suddenly shows up, plopping himself at your table. “is this seat taken?”

“yes!” you and renjun yell in unison.

donghyuck clears his throat. “actually, you were just leaving weren’t you?”

“we were?” you ask dumbly, donghyuck nods, tipping his head towards the door.

oh, you realize what he’s trying to do.

“right” you begin slowly. “just leaving, just going”.

“me too” adds renjun.

“i haven’t finished my sandwich yet..” jeno pouts, and renjun sighs as he grabs ahold of his collar, dragging him away from the lunch table where you’ll leave mark and donghyuck alone. “c’mon, they have something to fix”.

~

when you enter the kitchen the following saturday, donghyuck offers you a mere glance from his book before sighing. “jaemin’s?”

“yep” you pop the p, crouching down as you open the fridge, offering a squint as if your aid will magically appear given your gaze. “are we out of grapes?”

“jeno ate em all, why?”

“nothing, guess i’ll just starve”.

“are you gonna sleep over?”

“i don’t know..”

“sounds close to a yes”.

you glare, donghyuck chuckles.

“practice safe sex youngling!”

you flip him off, he offers you a kiss instead. “sure”.

“enjoy your weekend off!”

you pause before the door and turn back to give him a look, itching to ask a question you’re aware doesn’t have a definite enough answer. “so.. is everything good between you and mark now?”

“i’m working on it” he says, “just working on it”.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 10: blurring the line just a bit

you stumble into jaemin’s room and fall into his bed with your legs tangled. you feel warmth encapsulate you instantly. there’s lightheadedness, as if you’re drunk, intoxicated by the familiar scent of simply jaemin. his hair is in his eyes, yet for a long moment he simply stares. you doubt there’s a definitive way your imperfections could be glimpsed at in the vague orange lamplight, a small frown tugs at your lips.

“what?” you whisper, tentative.

“nothing” jaemin replies, equally silent. “it’s just— you’re just.. you look pretty like this”.

you blank for a moment, brightening yet attempting to shove it downward, reddened. “good, thought you were about to change your mind”.

“hush”.

when jaemin leans down to kiss you it’s soft, and your brain does that stupid malfunction thing once again, you sort of don’t know what to do with it. it’s syrup slow, the way jaemin licks into your mouth and his fingers trail up underneath your shirt, like you two have all the time in the world. you take in a long breath, tugging impatiently at his shirt which acts as a hurdle for you. he chuckles, you feel his smile against your own growing one.

you frown, such an expression heartens jaemin to no end. he’s torturing you, pressing slow soft presses against your soft skin, each press marked by his growing smile as he drags his mouth across each particular edge, exponentially leisure, nothing of vigor and more of attention to specific details. you squirm gradually, jaemin digs the pads of his fingers into your hips to hold you still in place, there’s a gentle edge to it that makes your head spin.

“hey” you tug at jaemin’s hair, and when he glances up at you there’s that huge urge to punch him, or maybe kiss him, do a crazy combination with the grin he’s sporting. “could you— fuck speed it up”.

“don’t you rush me y/n” he drawls, blinking up at you through his terribly beautiful eyelashes. “today is special”.

“it can be special when you get to it”.

“so bossy, maybe you should be in control then”.

despite his clear amusement, lingering insults on his tongue, jaemin again leans down to kiss you. it seems he enjoys that aspect, you don’t let go of his hair, hand on the back of his neck pressing him closer. it’s a good kiss, the slightest bit scary to you. you think you could get used to this, get accustomed to the sight of his dirty blonde hair and his hands pressing into the skin of your hip, possibly leaving marks.

it seems a little scary, but it also seems.. well, it makes you have all those mushy feelings you shouldn’t be having, feelings you’d have a heart attack at having three months ago.

you suppose you are blurring the lines a bit here, teeth ground and face buried into his neck, as if you were attempting to crawl into his skin. jaemin holds you and talks you through it like a lover would, it does terrible things to you, terrible terrible thoughts swirling around in your brain.

in the morning, you awake alone. you lie there for a moment, sunlight peeking through the curtains, then you allow your head to fall once more, taking in a deep breath which inadvertently means you’re smelling jaemin’s pillow. you shake your head instantly at such a thought, it’s really all over for you.

you settle for a moment before finally rising from your place, more of rolling off jaemin’s bed and almost breaking your bones with the fall on the floor.

you go through the motions, brushing your teeth and attempting to fix your hair, eventually just leaving it half done. you then venture into jaemin’s closet, grabbing at a random black hoodie and pulling it over your head.

you hear a commotion, head whipping in the direction of the door. you blink, poking your head out of the bedroom door. “jaemin?”

“i’m fine, it’s all fine! nothings burning down”.

you shuffle your way out of his room, feet mute against his bare floor. jaemin has his back to you, in nothing but a practically see through white shirt. “what’s this?”

“breakfast” he muses, eyes seemingly jumping when he catches a glimpse of you.

you lean over his shoulder, nosy as ever, his face is flat. “what?”

jaemin squints. “do you not like pancakes?”

“what kind of question is that? everyone likes pancakes” you reply, breakfast is one of the most foreign meals to you, you haven’t had an actual real breakfast meal in a startling while. “i thought you didn’t like strawberries”.

“they’re not for me” he says, nose scrunched. he uses a fork to cut up the pieces, getting an equal amount of each ingredient before holding it up to your face. “open up”.

“i know how to use a fork myself, you know”.

“open up”.

you drop your mouth open and allow jaemin to feed you, he observes you eat like a hawk. “good?”

you nod enthusiastically.

jaemin smiles, a real, toothless smile that blossoms alluringly over his features. “alright, eat breakfast, then we can go back to sleep”.

you pause, chewing. “i could’ve helped make breakfast”.

“well i didn’t want to wake you” you’re unaware of when he got closer, you opt to not question it, simply allowing his arms to circle around your waist and for him to kiss you once again. his presses are slow, lazy, warm, his sigh in tandem with him pushing you up against the counter.

“can’t i eat?”

“you look good”.

“my hair looks like shit..” you mumble, in response he ruffles it, which earns a grunt as you attempt to escape his hand by leaning backward. “and you just ruined it again”.

“i didn’t do anything” he’s got that smile on again, the one without his teeth, you found you enjoy capturing glimpses of that one much more than you’d ever gloat. “now eat, lord knows how long it’s been since you’ve had breakfast”.

he makes it up to you by helping you wash your hair in the shower, practically putting you to sleep with his ministrations, hand motions paired with a warm stream of water a dealing blow. he lets you do the same for him, sneaking in kisses between rinses to make your time a bit more difficult, water flicked your way resulting in slight squeaks. you spend the afternoon on the couch, bickering over what to watch before eventually settling on a drama you’d been recommended, cuddling closely, though napping quickly overtakes you. jaemin is heavy against your chest, and when you wake up past sunset, there’s a noticeable cramp in your arm, yet it’s the happiest you’ve felt in years.

~

it’s no wonder things change after that.

you see jaemin in the hallways of the hospital, messy hair paired with eye bags and your heart starts beating erratically. it remains in such fastened motions whenever he sends you a smile at lunch, or when you’re around the rest of your friends and can’t help but just.. stare. your chest warms inexplicably whenever he purposely bumps into you in the locker room or leans against you once he’s worn out, in the manner of a mind reader who knows what exactly such things to do your weak heart.

you’re still hooking up, obviously, but it’s become so ridiculously domestic that you’re unaware of when such lines began blurring.

jaemin brings you coffee, placing it atop the nurses station and patiently awaiting your response, smile akin to a cat bringing their owner a dead rodent as a gift.

you blink at it, then up at him, smiles all high. you recognize the doodles on the cup as from the cafe down the street, yet your mind is still the slightest bit woozy from a frankly terrible three hour sleep. “what’s this?”

“a little pick me up” he replies. “can’t just keep throwing back espresso shots, that’s unhealthy”.

how jaemin even figured that out is something you neglect to mention, you presume he’s some sort of alien mind reader, completely inhumane. you would’ve bitten back with a snarky remark a few months ago, yet it appears your mind is full of gray static now. you shake your head and go back to reading over the patient notes.

“i can’t drink that”.

“it’s your order” he drawls, and your eyes again shoot up.

“what.. uh— shit”.

jaemin pokes at your shoulder, sliding the cup over and encouraging you to take a sip. you’d argue with him, if you could with how he’s staring.

he was right, it is.

“how’d you even..?”

“i have my ways,” he brightens.

“thank you” you whisper.

“it’s nothing” he leans in to dart a kiss to your temple. “take it easy, okay?”

and your world successfully tilts on its own axis, you really need a word for that one.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 11: desperate times desperate looking man

“i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages,” renjun whispers. you’re sneaking into the NICU between patients, like you typically do when swallowed with work. the tiny preemie babies are so cute, they’re simply giving it their all to survive, it encourages you to keep going in the slightest bit. also did you mention they’re absolutely adorable?

“are you finally moving out? are you taking jeno with you? am i free?”

“i’m not leaving, stop trying to divorce me” you say, smacking donghyuck’s shoulder in retaliation to such words. “has jaemin been acting any weird around you?”

“you mean like— weirder than normal?” donghyuck raises an eyebrow, renjun distracted by cooing at the sleeping NICU babies. you always wondered the extent of dreams infants have, constantly intrigued by such a thing.

“no not really” he replies, nudging renjun slightly in an effort to get him back on track. the older startles out of his admiring daze, blinking in your direction.

“jaemin? jaemin’s always been weird, why are you asking?”

“i don’t know he’s acting.. different, i’m a little worried”.

“different how?” renjun does his award winning judgmental gaze, amping up your consciousness.

“well you know how i slept over at his place last weekend—“

“and spared me the ear bleeding noises yes”.

“shut up, this morning he got me coffee before rounds started, he kissed me and told me to take it easy, since when has jaemin cared about that?”

renjun and donghyuck exchange one mere glance before the latter speaks up; “you know what that sounds like? i think you sucked and fucked your way into a relationship”.

“don’t swear in front of the babies!”

“and don’t ever say sucked and fucked again” renjun glares, nose crinkling in disgust.

donghyuck sucks his teeth, though ignoring renjun’s distinct complaint. “seriously y/n, if you can’t see with your huge fucking eyes that jaemin has something for you, that might be a huge problem”.

your arms drop at their sides, readying up some terrible rebuttal when your pager goes off, you immediately sigh once jaemin’s name pops up. “speak of the devil” you muse.

when you walk into the E.R you spot him immediately.

“hey, what’s up?”

“just need you to come look at something for me” he immediately says. “i have a theory, but i need a second opinion”.

a smug smile creeps onto your face. “are you asking me for a consultation right now?”

he rolls his eyes. “don’t act coy, there’s a lady with glitter glue in her ears, you seriously have to see this”.

you let him lead the way.

~

it’s eerily quiet in the intern locker when you walk in to grab your phone, one single being in the room, that of na jaemin, lying back on one of the benches, leg propped up. once he catches sight of you, he sits up.

“hey”.

“hi” you reply.

“out or in?”

“out, apparently i hit my eighty hours for the week, jungwoo cut me off”.

“that sucks, i’m on call tonight”.

“that does suck” you hum, shoving your phone in your bag as you eye the suspicious way his leg is propped up. “what’s up with your leg?”

“nothing, it’s just— my knees a little sore, that’s all”.

you frown slightly. “let me see”.

“you know i’m an adult, right? i can take care of myself”.

“hush” you respond, flatly staring as jaemin sits back on the bench, allowing you to poke at the wrap around his knee.

“it’s an old injury” he says. “it’s supposed to be fully healed but it still troubles me sometimes”.

your mouth drops open in a silent ‘ah’, “speed skating, right”.

“yeah, i was just telling choi about it, i don’t know why everyone is so surprised i used to speed skate”.

“you’ve been telling everyone about your secret past? i don’t feel special anymore, na jaemin” you tease. you sit up on the bench, satisfied jaemin wasn’t lying about wrapping it up properly. you’re supposed to go meet your family after this, but you don’t want to leave jaemin’s side just yet, call it obsession.

“relax” jaemin drawls, giving you a salacious wink. “they all know i only have eyes for you”.

you ignore the heat rising in your ears. jaemin has been much more forward with his advances lately, unabashed, little shame, which reminds you—“everyone thinks we’re dating, you know? you’re fueling the fire”.

“you know i don’t care what people think of me”.

liar.

“well i care” you answer. “about us, about.. uh— well, people always talk, you know? makes me anxious”.

“you sure you want me to stop flirting with you? really?”

“yes” you have an airy undertone lacing your voice, eyes sliding towards jaemin’s mouth, you realize lately that all you want to do is kiss him. you’re about fully prepared to when your phone buzzes in your pocket.

“you got somewhere to be?”

you shoot off a text to your younger sister to assure her that you will indeed not be late. you meet jaemin’s eyes and hesitate for a moment, though you’re unsure of why. “yes actually i have a reunion, well— not exactly a reunion but my parents want me to come home for some reason, probably gonna try to set me back up with my ex like they do every single time..”

there’s a small shift in his expression. “oh? didn’t they try to do that last week? or was that something else?”

“shotaro offered last week and i couldn’t turn him down, they’re trying to push me back to another ex”.

“ah”.

you pick up your bag and stand to head out of the door.

“i promised my sisters i wouldn’t be late, can’t leave them alone at home, if they make anything good i’ll bring around leftovers” you look over your shoulder. “text me when you get home?”

jaemin neglects to respond, you squint as you look at him.

“jaemin?”

“what? oh yeah, yeah, i’ll text you”.

~

jaemin does not end up texting.

you’re aware of that because you continuously glance over at your phone whilst your parents mutter on their meticulous jargon, sneaking in less than vague insults pertaining to your character. you keep checking for some sort of ping, a rogue emoji or videos of his cats that he enjoys sending so much. you only get texts from donghyuck asking what kind of pasta noodles he should buy for dinner, nothing else.

“are we boring you?” your youngest sister inquires, her head leaning against her head as she takes liberal glances towards your own phone.

you sheepishly put your phone away, you have no idea what anybody has been droning on about for the past few minutes, and you’re much too embarrassed to ask. “sorry no, please continue”.

later, you get home and crawl into your sheets, swiping the notification bar one last time to see if jaemin sent anything. disappointment. you tossed and turned for a moment, uncomfortable in the air of your room. it’s late, jaemin clearly had a long day and crashed as soon as he got home. he isn’t obligated to text you everyday, especially when you’re both equally busy in your own right. nevertheless, you briefly entertain the idea of showing up at his place just to see how he’ll react.

that would be crazy, you freak, is what your inner conscious speaks. he’s not your boyfriend or anything.

you do wish jaemin were here, though, he warms your presence in just the slightest.

you get up one last time, grabbing a dormant pusheen plushie left on your floor and pressing your face into it, a silent scream escaping your lips. you peer over at your phone one last time, finally deciding to take a leap.

goodnight, you text, pausing. you take a few moments, typing out i miss you a good six times before deleting such an idiotic message, you two saw each other no more than a few hours ago, why would you even send that? your hands are clammy.

maybe he caught something?

in the next minute, you practically jump up on your feet as your message is registered as seen. you sit up on the bed, observing text bubbles pop up and disappear for several minutes. eventually, jaemin settles on simply hearting your message.

he didn’t even say it back, but your heart is racing, and an irreversible warmth encapsulates you. the sides of your mouth curve upward involuntarily as you think of jaemin, his stupid jokes and his wide smile and his messy blonde hair, lying in bed deciding over how to respond to a ‘goodnight’ text. it’s just a text. a mere reaction even, nothing of a true response, yet this is a feeling you haven’t had in a long time.

lovesickness, you realize.

oh lord.

THE ETHICS OF COWORKER HOOKUPS 12: and zhong chenle was right in the end

“fucking finally” chenle’s mouth does that swivel upward and he beckons renjun closer. “pay up”.

“what? no, this doesn’t count, he hasn’t even told jaemin how he feels yet” renjun argues.

donghyuck taps his feet onto the floor, nudging you with his shoulder as he shares a knowing look, you stick out your tongue, though completely anxious about your upcoming circumstances. “told jaemin how i what?”

chenle sighs as if the whole world rests atop his shoulders. “jaemin romances you every single day, cooks for you, buys you cute gifts, asks for free consults and you’re still wondering how he feels for you? you sure you were at the top of your class back in university?”

jaemin walks in then.

“jaemin!”

you internally wince at the extent of your excitement, tone overwhelming. “um.. hi”.

“hey”.

“you never texted”.

“must’ve slipped my mind”.

“cool— uh, listen” over jaemin’s shoulder, chenle gestures you a thumbs up, renjun making a cut throat motion across his neck whilst donghyuck simply observes the whole thing in the manner of daytime entertainment. “uh.. i’m— we’re ordering in tonight, pizza and a movie are you down?”

jaemin opens his locker and doesn’t look at you. “sounds a little boring, sorry..”

“we don’t have to watch the movie” you suggest, screw shame, you’re as desperate as they get.

he blinks over at you, as if attempting to keep himself grounded though looking into your eyes.

“i’ll pass, have fun though” he replies, “see you all tomorrow” then he’s picking up his jacket, rushing out the locker room in an instant, cutting you off quickly. he practically runs into jeno on his way out, startling the other into donghyuck’s personal space.

“what’s up with jaemin? he looks like his cat just died”.

you turn to renjun and chenle. “he just rejected me, right?

“that money is literally mine” chenle grits his teeth.

“you’re all useless”.

by the time you make it to the lobby, jaemin is about finished with his daily wrap up talk with the receptionist, bag over his shoulder and head pointed towards the door. you’re fully aware of how pathetic you must seem currently, but you suppose nothings worse than not getting the truth out of him.

“hey.. hey, jaemin, slow down?”

jaemin blinks again, the irritated furrow of his eyebrows jumping out at you immediately. “what do you want?”

“i want you to talk to me”.

“what’s there to talk about?”

“you— gosh, you’re so confusing, you know? i can’t read minds, can’t you just tell me what i did wrong?”

and how you ended up outside is beyond you, perhaps it was the better decision, after all, arguing in front of the front desk lady is about as embarrassing as it gets.

jaemin scoffs, glancing down at his watch as if he’s unaware of the time, his apple watch lights up and the background is a picture of his cats, the wallpaper is helplessly adorable, it endears you to no end.

“you didn’t do anything”.

“well you don’t exactly make that obvious with how you’ve been avoiding me, you’ve been weird ever since i told you i started hanging out with shotaro again”.

“that— that has nothing to do with it, what you do out of work is none of my business”.

you try not to feel hurt by that one, you’re aware of what jaemin is trying to do. “so what is it?”

jaemin bites into his cheek. “can’t you drop it?”

“no” you refuse, slightly blocking his way though he could probably carry you on a bad day. “you’re going to have to tell me or get through me”.

“are you insane?”

that almost earns a well deserved fit of laughter, you suppose you are at this point. “you’re being immature, we have all night”.

jaemin gives a long hard stare, and you actually think he’s about to push you out of the way, leave you rejected on the cold sidewalk, but then he sighs, picking at the ends of his hair before breaking into a sigh. “i let you down, you know?”

you blank, arms dropping at your sides as you instead give continuous blinks. “what the fuck are you talking about?”

jaemin looks a crossbred of punching you and kissing you. “of course you don’t remember it’s— god you say things and barely even mean them cause you just talk so much, you know? you make me mad cause you do these little things that just piss me off and i just don’t understand you, you care about people so much and you’re so bossy but you’re also so.. cute, and nice, and you’re funny and you always do these things that make me realize i’m stupidly in love with you, there, that’s it”.

your heart resounds like a drum in your ears. “jaemin—“

“i fell in love with you, okay? and i know you told me not to, didn’t want us devolving into any domestic shit but.. i am, present tense, i’m in love with you”.

oh, you suppose there’s always a catch.

“you done now?” you ask.

“am i— yeah” jaemin laughs, dry and all. “i’m done, are you happy? can i go home now?”

“no” you pull him by the front of his jacket to kiss him, it’s cute that jaemin is clearly surprised by it, the broken whimper he allows to escape when you bite into the swell of his bottom lip is even cuter. his hand comes to cradle your jaw, and for a few sweet moments you forget you’re in front of your building of occupancy. you pull away with your cheeks hot as you rest your foreheads together, suddenly amused.

“thought you would’ve let your parents set you up with your ex”.

“and you didn’t think to ask me?”

“i mean— we never talked about.. this”.

“because you said it would be weird!”

“oh so i’m the bad guy now?”

“yes! yes you are!”

“i told you i was in love with you all you had to say was—“

“shut up” you snap, cupping his impossibly perfect face between your hands. “lord i like you so much, love you an excruciating amount and i miss you all the time even though i see you everyday, you’re so annoying and you have that addicting smile and it’s— you piss me off”.

“as you’ve said before”.

“but.. you know, guess it wouldn’t hurt to try”.

he kisses you again and you can’t help how you smile against his own lips.

“you wanna come back with me?”

jaemin pretends to think it over, as if your fingers aren’t entwined and you don’t already have butterflies alive in your stomach. “i’m worried, what happens if my helmet swallows your tiny little head whole”.

“so romantic na, i’ll have to give you an award for that one”.

“aww, really?”

“no”.

jaemin sticks out his tongue, one last peck given to your lips before you two were off.

when you get back to your place, jaemin falls asleep on your lap midway through the movie like an exhausted old man, or maybe just the young surgeon subjected to the torturous work hours at guleum grave hospital just trying his best. you can’t believe how fond you are, gaze brazen in a manner that renders you nauseous. unable to resist, you reached out to tuck strands of his hair behind his ear.

you hate yourself, it’s just the slightest bit terrifying, you’re fearful at the oncoming future and the enigma of na jaemin in his all. you just want to make sure he wants this, the mushy and sticky feelings which come with the whole process. he is a mystery, yes, but he’s also kind, and patient, and so full of boundless devotion that he probably isn’t even sure he retains.

jaemin jerks awake once jeno flicks on the lights of the living room, but he settles down quickly once he realizes he’s in your lap, you run your fingers through his hair, quietly aching.

he blinks up at you slowly. “i missed the movie”.

“you did” you murmur, “wanna go to bed?”

“yeah” jaemin grabs ahold of your hand in his hair, fingers intertwined, beginning to leave light kisses on your wrist, just above your pulse. he’s so cute like this, so soft looking with his delicate feeling lips and soft all around the edges. you might get sick from the absorbent amount of love you happen to be feeling, his eyelashes flutter in your direction, a smile tugging at his lips which you mirror.

it’s a match made on this soul sucking earth. it’s only a little perfect.

[robbiefischer]

📚💛☕️🤔 for Julian and Niko and maybe Alexei and Elijah??

Tysm anon, these were such fun questions to work on and I'm always thrilled to get a chance to think about my faves! I appreciate it so much!

📚 BOOKS — what level of education has your oc most recently completed/is currently in (GED, undergraduate, grad school, phd, etc)?

Julian finished undergrad and that's where he stopped. He was never especially fond of school (he always did well without really trying, but found it incredibly boring and the atmosphere unpleasant) and wasn't going to go to college at all, especially since his parents weren't offering any financial support. But his aunts really encouraged him to go on their dime, and study whatever he wanted so he got his BFA in music composition and minored in studio art. He's not especially interested in pursuing anything further, other than private music lessons to improve his skills but occasionally he kicks around the idea of a conservatory program for piano if he gets more serious about it.

Niko most recently completed his PhD in art history, he also has his masters in museology. He's always been SUCH an overachiever when it comes to school and academics (he double majored in undergrad, and has always been at the top of his class in school at every level), and while he's not currently in any program he's not opposed to the idea of it and would probably leap at the chance to do another degree if the opportunity came along.

I did this question for Elijah and Alexei for another ask, here it is!

💛 YELLOW HEART — how many languages does your oc speak? what language(s) are they learning, if any?

Julian's fluent in English and French, and has learned quite a bit of Greek for Niko's family - he's probably in between a B1-B2 on the CEFR scale. He's working on improving his Greek more than anything, but he's not averse to picking up little bits of Italian or German from Niko and Saoirse. He finds languages really interesting to dabble in, even if he's not looking to become fluent in them.

Niko's fluent in English and Greek (he grew up bilingual), as well as Italian which he studied through school and undergrad. He's around a C1 in French, and at about the B2 level in German, both of which he started learning later because they're both so vital in art history studies. He lowkey hates speaking German though, and tends to stick more to reading and writing in it while he's happy to speak French.

Elijah's only fluent in English, but he's learning Korean mostly on his own with the help of one of his teammates, Flora. He's still very much a beginner at it, somewhere between A2-B1 on the CEFR scale. He took Spanish in school but has forgotten pretty much everything he learned since he never used it.

Alexei speaks English fluently, and while he's not fluent in either he's relatively advanced in both Spanish and French. He's a bit better in Spanish (especially with speaking) as he took it in school and didn't start learning French until he was an adult. He's probably close to C1 in Spanish, and B2 in French. He's a bit like Julian in that he just finds languages really interesting and tends to pick them up easily, so they're a fun hobby for him.

☕️ HOT BEVERAGE — does your oc prefer coffee, tea, hot chocolate, milk, water, or some other drink? how do they like to take this drink (ex. coffee with milk, hot chocolate with whipped cream, a specific kind of tea, etc)?

Niko is all about tea lattes and while he prefers a good chai latte, he'll drink matcha lattes or earl grey lattes as well. He'll drink coffee, but generally doesn't enjoy it. Every great once in a while he likes a good, really rich cup of dark chocolate hot cocoa. He's not really a fan of water overall - he'll drink it because it's necessary, but it's boring. He prefers sparkling, and would rather it be flavored.

Julian probably loves sparkling water than anything else. He just finds it really refreshing, unlike still water which he thinks tastes kind of stale. He's not a big fan of coffee overall, it makes him feel a bit jittery, so he usually sticks to tea. He loves green and white teas, he definitely prefers them over black teas which he finds can get a bit bitter and unpleasant.

Alexei's an iced coffee boy. Even if it's cold out, that's what he wants. He has a few favorite drinks from Literati that he loves, but will often make himself a big travel cup of it at home (with fancy syrups) to take to work with him. They always keep a jug of cold brew concentrate in the fridge to use as a base and he goes through it pretty quickly (less quickly now that he knows you're supposed to dilute it).

Elijah's one true love is matcha, and he makes himself all sorts of fancy concoctions and lattes with it. But he loves coffee too, and fancy hot cocoa. Don't make him choose between his children, he literally works at a coffee shop and will try anything once.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Okay, this is the hard one! This is something I hadn't really considered before so I don't have a ton for you (sorry!), but here's what I've managed to think of for them over the last few days.

Niko talks with his hands, especially when he's talking about something he's really passionate about. He's also a fidgeter when he's stressed or trying to focus himself - he alternates between bouncing his leg under the table if he's sitting, tapping his fingertips against the table or any flat surface in front of him or, if neither of those things are an option, twisting one of the many rings he wears as a fidget.

Julian is 100% a lip biter when he's worried, or stressed, or concentrating. When he's really focusing on something, he'll stick the tip of his tongue out just a tiny bit which Niko finds ridiculously cute. Julian has no idea that he does this, and Niko will never tell him because he knows if he does Julian will get embarrassed about it and stop doing it.

Alexei taps the tip of his pen or pencil against his desk when he's reading essays or parent e-mails or whatever, usually to the rhythm of whatever song's currently stuck in his head. He's also a hummer and will often be humming something under his breath quietly when he's trying to concentrate on something.

Elijah furrows his brow when he's concentrating on something and he doesn't realize he's doing it until Alexei's stroking the pad of his thumb between his eyebrows to release it. He tends to doodle absentmindedly whenever he's left with a pencil or pen and something he can draw on - could be the back of an envelope, a cocktail napkin or an actual notebook. He's also incapable of sitting in a chair properly - he's either sprawled out in it with a leg hooked over one arm, perched on the edge with his feet tucked up under him or leaning back in it.

[randomidiocyncrazies]

N P T Y!

thanks for the ask! i kinda went ham on the AU question lol

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

oof this is hard! the thing is. i'm an extremely fickle mistress, so i don't really have a 'main' fandom? also i think most of what i want from fandom is extremely generic (more gen fic, more femslash, more AUs with interesting worldbuilding, more rarepairs etc etc) and most of my specific comments are aimed more at the source material than at the fandom

(that said, if anyone writes political intrigue and/or the mundane stuff of nation building about the Kree/Skrull Alliance please please please link! there's so much story potential there..............)

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

okay so i LOVE most AUs, but my favorite are well-done roleswaps (by which i mean the characters' core personalities are intact, it's just that their circumstances have changed). I mean... i still lowkey think about the Persona 4 adult investigation team AU a friend and I talked about almost 10 years ago lol

(oh! speaking of the Persona franchise, i've always kind of wondered what would happen if P4 protag moved to Sumaru City after P4 and gets Jun Kashihara from Persona 2 as his homeroom teacher, and one way or another accidentally triggers a way for Nyarlathotep to return (most likely with P4 protag coming into contact with Tatsuya by chance through Jun)—after all, the theme of Persona 4 is to lift the fog of deceit, but not all truths should be remembered... though I guess this isn't really AU since it could theoretically happen as long as you handwave the mechanics about how personas/Nyarly and Philemon work)

my other pet AU is the Appmon Utena AU because narratives about roles and agency fascinate me! (appmon and utena endgame spoilers in linked posts)

as for something that I'm mostly making up right now........... uhhhh Loveless AU for Oda and Aoki from 2.43 Seiin High School Men's Volleyball Team, but only about the concept of Fighter-Sacrifice pairs and not... everything else (I have not read Loveless but it's got A Reputation)—mostly because i think it'd be so interesting if their pair name is "Selfless", seeing as Oda tends to think of himself as selfish in the novel, while Aoki's speech about "no need to thank me, I'm doing this because of ulterior motives" and his utter devotion to Oda's cause makes me kiiinda feral. (and from what little i understand about the general power dynamics of Fighters and Sacrifices, i think it makes sense for Oda to be the Sacrifice and Aoki the Fighter? idk)

i haven't thought of why they're marked, since they're meant to be Just Some Guys in 2.43 (i.e. not one of the star players on the team)

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

i'm not willing to die on this hill, but i have this entire elaborate headcanon about Euanthe from Counter/WEIGHT having a dead fiance and them being essentially an anti-stratus due to the programming language disconnect between the Divines and the Apostolisian mechs. both are just something i pulled completely out of my ass tho (note: Twilight Mirage is the last sci-fi season from friends at the table that i've completed)

as for something i'm slightly more willing to die defending: Yukiko and Chie from Persona 4 lived on takeout for like 4 months after they got their own place, before grudgingly learning how to cook at the Inaba community center (also Yosuke heckles them about it and sends shitty pics of his humble homemade dishes at ridiculous hours to taunt them about it—at least, that's how they interpret his gesture

and i mean. they aren't entirely wrong about that.)

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

oh boy most popular media is like that for me... i feel like ORV is one of these even though i did read some of it? (and i mean. i do plan on reading past ch 75 of ORV one of these days.) i've heard stuff about SVSSS (about a rarepair/side character) and the Owl House seems interesting from the general impression i get from my dash

I guess i also. learned about SPN on tumblr (and know more than I want to, even though in the grand scheme of things it's not much at all)

[ask prompts here!]

[pat1215]

I Feel Really Alone, A Lot

Minor Disclaimer. I really don't know what this is, but I felt better after writing it, and I want to share these thoughts with someone, but there's no one in my actual life to say these things to, so they're going here. There's some language in here, so this is a heads up. I also didn't read this again after I typed it, so these thoughts are all pretty raw and are not fleshed out in any way.

I am lonely. And I don't know how to fix it. And I can’t afford to go back to therapy. So I’m going to dump all my current thoughts into this Word document that I might end up posting somewhere anonymously. Because I seriously doubt anyone would actually read all this nonsense. 

I’ve moved to a new city. I’m three hours from my friends. I'm closer to family, but it’s not close enough. The person I talk to most in my life is my 15-year-old sister, who is not going to become my dumping ground for my emotional instability. 

I am currently texting a Crisis Hotline because I quite literally want to talk to anyone who would take the time to listen to me. Lowkey convinced that it was an AI program because it felt very structured and weirdly formal.

I work with 4 guys. And I like my job, it keeps me busy. Keeps me from being alone with my thoughts for too long. It’s good for me to feel busy, I feel accomplished and feel validated or at least appreciated for the work that I am doing. 

1 is married with kids.

1 is engaged

1 is dating/might be engaged to his girlfriend - she has kids

1 just got into a new relationship with his girlfriend

All are super cool guys, I dont feel singled out for being the only female. I think they might find me funny. I don't know. They could find me annoying as shit most of the time, but at least they aren’t the type of people to tell me that to my face. 

I’m a single female living in a new city with my cat. And sometimes, I think I kind of hate my cat. I like the idea of him, but the reality is not what I had wanted. He’s chill and all, just really gets on my nerves sometimes.

Yesterday I went out to a wine and beer garden near my city’s downtown area. I brought a book with me because I thought that if I get bored, I could at least read out in the sun. I sat there and watched everyone else around me laugh and joke around with their friends and family. And I felt alone.

The only time I don't feel alone is when I’m reading. Which, is like kind of the point of books, so I guess they’re doing their job. But that’s also how I am receiving both my social and emotional intimacy. I want nothing more than to stumble into the bed of some stranger to receive actual attention for at least some length of time. But the thought of having sex with a stranger is terrifying. The thought of going out and doing anything anymore is terrifying. I think I really need help from someone whos liscensed to tell me that I’m pathetic and should just pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep fucking going. But I cant afford it. I still am getting my antidepressants, but I think I need more then the Wellbutrin right now. 

I want a hug. I want a real conversation with someone. I want to feel an actual emotional connection with a real breathing person in front of me. And yet. The thought of asking anyone I know for that is petrifying. I don’t want to ask for help, I should be able to do this by myself. Why can't I do this by myself? What is wrong with me? Everyone else around me can do this! They can go out on dates or meet people at bars. Or SHIT! They can meet poeple on sating apps that aren’t walking talking pieces of shit. The number of people I’ve messaged on dating apps where I think we’re maybe going to actually discuss different things about ourselves, and then they're just immediately gone and will never message back. I don’t think I can count that high. 

I even just tried talking to women for a while, but the second I open up and am vulnerable, that I’ve never dated a woman before, then they're gone too. No better then the frat boys on tinder. Is it something I’m saying that’s so off putting? I am just giving them a heads up, that “hey you’re absolutely gorgeous and really funny. I’m going to seem really awkward because I’ve never done this before.” And POOF. Never hearing from her again.

It’s the same with guys. “No I’m not comfortable with sleeping with you.” POOF. “I’m looking for a real relationship, I would like for things to happen naturally and not rush into anything.” POOF

I think what's the real kicker is that I have this ex, that came back around and told me that he still loved me. We’ll come up with a silly fake name that could never be his real name, Matthew. I told him ummm yeah no, not in the headspace for a relationship. BUT since we had all of our classes together, I said that we could be friends. So we were friends for like two months. He’d ask questions about my teammates, I’d ask questions about his mom or his nephew. Platonic, friend things. I started telling him more things, like people who were annoying on the team or the issues/gossip from my friend group. He’d tell me about his work drama. THEN!!! One day “Matt” got upset because I was talking about this guy who ghosted me and how he was a loser, and then “Matt” got all fucking pissy. When I called him out on it, he got snippy and said, “You shouldn't talk about other guys with a guy who is interested in you. You wonder all the time why people leave you. Have you ever considered that maybe you’re actually the reason why that happens?” OH MAN. When I tell you I blew up on this man, manchild. I let his ass have it. Told “Matt” how I was pretty fucking certain that we both aggreed that we were NOT going to get back together. So since he wasnt my fucking boyfriend his opinions on my dating life, social life, personal life were not wanted or welcomed. Went on to tell him that if I was so awful to be around all the time or that I was too much, then he can easily go find less. And, unfortunately, I had to continue to sit next to him for an additional two months until graduation. But I never spoke to him again. Hope the door hit him on his way out of that university. 

And what I never told anyone is that, sometimes, I think he’s right. Because I think it’s true. I’m boring, I can be annoying as shit, I can come accross really mean or bitchy, I think I’m a burden to otheres. If I can't be useful to someone else, then what am I here for? To watch other people be the main characters of their stories. I want to be the main character of my show. But this show would get cut after 4 episodes, wouldn’t even get a whole season. Because in my show, there are no other characters in the story. It’s just me and my shit head cat. 

Get up for work, go to work, go home, scrounge up something for dinner, read AO3 or a book, then go to bed. And that’s my fucking life. Maybe I call or factime my sister on my way home from work, but she’s 15. I cant talk about real life shit with her, shes a freshman in high school. She hasn’t experienced anything in life besides catholic school. (and AO3, I did introduce her when I saw she was on wattpad) But that’s my life. Maybe theres a day where I go to a coffee shop, maybe I try a new place, and I’ll sit and read or work on emails. But I sit there alone, drinking coffee listening to Scarlette Opera, Dutch Melrose, and AJR on repeat. If I’m really feeling sad I’ll put on the reputation album by Taylor Swift. Because that album makes me feel like “YEAAH! Fuck those people, I’m better off without them!” 

But it’s a never ending cycle of isolation. People don’t call me back after I reach out, and I try to let it not bother me, but it still really fucking hurts. Why can’t I be the most important person in the world for someone? I want someone to be like “OMG I have to call XXX and tell her about this!” Or “I’m just calling because I wanted to hear your voice and I missed you.” Dammit I want one person on this fucking earth to call me and say the only reason they called is because they cant wait to see me later and that they love me.

I’m so fucking tired of reading fanfiction and books to receive the comfort I am so desperately craving in my life. I just want to cuddle with someone and have each of us do something quietly on the couch. Just existing in each other’s space, comfortably. Why can’t I find my happy ending? I’m getting really tired of just going through the motions. I want to really live, but I don’t know how to start.

[sm-baby]

IM CHEWING THIS IM EATING ALL OF IT CHEWING THIS ALL UP CHEWING ALL THIS SHIT UP OH MY G O D

LONG RAMBLE AND OVER ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT

NO WONDER SHE BECAME SO COWARDLY TOWARDS HIM OH MY GOODD... im f u c kED over the idea that Caine SEW HER MOUTH SHUT HIMSELF... LIKE.. i was out here thinking maybe he magiced it up, or had someone else do it, BUT HE?? HE DID IT HIMSELF???? OH MY G O D, THATS BLOODY, AND BRUTAL AND FUCKING TERRIFYING, DUDE ...

This is character analysis food for both Ragatha and Caine... And some kinger...

Starting off with kinger... Very simple... I just really love the body language you do with him, the hand shaking trying to keep himself calm while witnessing the sight, his expressions-- he being overly anxious because, ofcourse, he is fucking GRIEVING... HIS WIFE JUST FUCKING DIED AND HE HAS NOTHING HE CAN DO ABOUT IT.. And the only other person thats nice to him or would ever stand up for him is being fucking MAN HANDLED-

The implication of Caine's past, the fact Ragatha knew Caine before he completely fucking turned. He didn't like being reminded of what he once was or that hes gotten worse, being told that his ideas were bad, he didn't like the BACKTALK, disrespect, AUGHH.... IM FUCKING WITH THE BODY LANGUAGE BY THE WAY-- IM SUCH A SUCKER WITH CAINE'S HAND STIMS-- NOOO.. NOOOOOOO NO WAIT NOOO

I DID THIS WITH THE FUCKING BETS COMIC AND THOSE SAME HAND GESTURES WERE ALSO DIRECTED TOWARDS RAGATHA, HOOT NOOOO... NNNNNNOO- /pos

It was a complete and utter headcanon to think that Ragatha is who Caine would be upset at most frequently (also ties in with the fact that she has the most deaths) but I think its incredibly fitting for them to have that sort of dynamic considering Ragdolls are used to be thrown around and abused by their owners.

I ADOREE i adore that this was lowkey highkey Ragatha's breaking point— and that same breaking point being over the fact that it was for Kinger's well being...like...im sure she would absolutely feel outraged as a person with morality, but also like,-- MAN....SHE CANT JUST TAKE THAT ROLE...SHE CANT TAKE THAT ROLE WHEN THE POOR GRANDPA FIGURE'S WIFE WAS THE PREVIOUS ASSISTANT... IM... she has such a heart of gold I swear..

Im sure Ragatha was still scared of Caine before then... But probably thought of him a little higher than she did now.. she sounded sassy, but here she fully SNAPPED..there is a reason why shes so submissive in current day and just goes along with the games. IM FUCKING EATING THIS UP

FUCK OH MY G O D WAIT the "you struck me, caine" either implies that Caine never got his hands dirty before himself, or was a little more tolerant of their antics before then— which lead her to believe he wasn't as bad... GOD... (It sucks that her fear is so fucking valid cuz in the original show, although caine would still push the others to do things, he was still very friendly about it; distracting them or giving them prizes or being the ol' "You can do it!!" Attitude.) THAT!!! ORR!! IT WAS POSSIBLE THAT THIS WAS AL S O HIS FUCKING BREAKING POINT... Cuz although hes lost all sympathy, him quickly replacing Queenie is well in his programming to fix any missing aspects of code to keep his objective complete.

ALSO. HOOT. HOOT WHEN I CATCH YOU HOOT. I noticed that Caine being touchy with Ragatha Mirrors when POMNI FIRST CAME ALONG-- grabbing the girls tightly around his arm, or grabbing their faces... I... THIS EITHER IMPLIES THAT CAINE IS OVER ALL JUST VERY TOUCHY (which Im sure he is in canon i think???) OR RAGATHA WAS HIS OLD FAVORITE...

*shakes fist into the sky* HOOTBON!!!!!!

Guys! Guys. Let's torture Ragatha. /j

Nah, seriously, the fact that she got literally the worst punishment Caine has given so far should be enough. What the hell did she even do? There's no way it was deserved!

She spoke evil.

[dreamkidddream]

I absolutely loved the doll! mc one with the brothers and diavolo. Could I ask for the same idea with the rest of the undateables and luke? If it isn't too much though. Thank you very much, don't forget to take care of yourself and stay hydrated!

I’m glad you enjoyed the first part!! I hope you’re staying safe through this pandemic and that you’re drinking plenty of water. I’m so happy that people liked the Doll!MC scenario so much (it even became one of my top posts and I was NEVER expecting that to happen 😳 click here to read it with the Bros and Diavolo). I got an UR card for Barbatos today and immediately thought back to this scenario cause I was just imagining the different situations with Doll!MC. Hope you enjoy!

Also, Luke’s part is strictly platonic, just FYI!

The Undateables (Minus Diavolo) with Doll!MC

Barbatos

Let me just say, you make this man’s day so much better

Your presence is just so calming for him. You could just be standing there (which is heavily enforced in the kitchen), not doing anything, and he would still be fully relaxed

Definitely loves you being in the kitchen with him, and will find ways to invite you so that you guys can spend time together

“MC, the young master has a tea party planned for this afternoon, and I’m afraid I may need your assistance to help prepare.”

“But Barb, I thought you didn’t want me touching anything-”

“I don’t want you touching anything that can cause you harm. I can easily handle the labor, but I do have a task for you...”

Cue to you sitting perfectly still and taste testing his sweets

“Barb, are you sure that I’m helping you like this? I don’t want to be useless to you!”

“Nonsense, MC. This is perfect. I needed someone with an exceptional palette, and you’re just the right person for me.”

Just you and him, and his sweet creations. What more could he ask for?

Maybe being in a relationship with you, but he is very sure that it’s going to be happening in the near future...and he didn’t even have to use his powers to know that

He stares at you a lot. He can’t help it, he loves to just admire you!

Barbatos is the type of guy where he doesn’t have to rely on words to express his love. His love language is acts of service: packing you lunch and extra sweets every week, giving you recipes that he wouldn’t even share with Luke, and gifting you mini accessories that you can wear with your outfits!

He gave you this adorable three-legged crow holding a cupcake hairpin and you’ve been wearing it ever since

He tries to hide his blush everytime he sees you and now he has to work even harder because of the pin lmao

HAVING YOUR OWN TEA PARTIES WEEKLY

You both have a designated day and time where you don’t plan anything in order to have your own tea parties

No Diavolo, no noisy demon brothers, no other exchange students (sorry Luke). Just you and him, enjoying each other’s company and him basking in your glow

If someone did try to harm you, he would already know of it and properly disposes of the problem. Lord Diavolo can’t afford to have any issues interfering with the exchange program, and he can’t afford to have anything happen to you so...no harm no foul, right?

Please continue to do what you’re doing MC. Stare at him with your bright, doe eyes and give him that lively smile everytime. It makes his day go by much easier, especially since he knows that you’ll still be there, waiting for him with your own desserts and that smile reserved just for him

Simeon

Was convinced that you were an angel

Lowkey still convinced that you’re an angel

Really, you just look so...angelic

Wasn’t upset when you revealed that you were in fact human; he was happy because this meant that he could show you around the Celestial Realm!

Speaking of Celestial Realm, be prepared for Simeon to be your very own personal tour guide everytime. This could be your 50th time up there and he’ll still try to point new things out

“And over here is-”

“Michael’s favorite resting place, since the lilies always seem to bloom whenever he’s around,” you giggled. “I remember Simeon, you tell me this everytime we visit!”

He’s a tad embarrassed

“Forgive me, MC. It seems that I get so elated over the fact that you’re here with me, I tend to repeat some things over.”

“That’s okay! I still have fun with you everytime!”

Oh MC, you’re too adorable!

Which causes him to worry over you. While he knows that the brothers and Diavolo (along with Barbatos) wouldn’t dare cause you any distress, the same couldn’t be said for the other demons lurking around, both in and out of RAD

But not to fear, Simeon your friendly guardian angel is here!

I am so sorry for the rhyme lmao

He may not have been personally assigned to you, but that doesn’t mean he can just let anything happen to you! He’s only doing his heavenly duties in protecting you! He’s also being a good friend by watching over you too, his little lamb

He wouldn’t attack anyone, but if he made a complaint or a very serious concern to the right person (Lucifer or Diavolo), consider the problem handled

You have your own tea time as well, and Luke would join you sometimes. But, every now and then, Luke would have to finish some homework or study, or Barbatos would miraculously call for him at the castle, or if it was just too late and Luke just had to go to sleep, then it would just be you two. Sitting by the fireplace, discussing matters ranging from RAD to your life in the human world, drinking tea that you would take turns preparing

Not to mention the downright dainty little cakes you would bring. One time you brought him angel cakes and he found so lighthearted and precious that he requested you bring them everytime, just for him

May or may not base a character in his new story around you

Simeon wants to shield you from the horrors that are surrounding you both. You’re so pure, he just wants you safe. From the way that you would dress to the way that your eyes would just look so amazed and innocent at him, he just knows that he needs to watch over you, always. The brothers do get a little wary when they see how much time you do spend at Purgatory Hall, but they know that Simeon couldn’t possibly have feelings for you, and you were always so giddy after leaving there, they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything

And Simeon knew that he was starting to feel more than he should. He couldn’t profess his love for you now in risk of falling, but he can wait until you get your wings. Just imagining you in your cute little Ceslestial Realm outfit (which he hopes still mimicked your current style) with your very own beaming halo was enough to keep him waiting and to make sure that you stayed on the right path

He deemed that you were worth the wait

Luke

BFFs! BFFs!

When he first saw you he could just cry

Someone innocent like you got sent down here with these monsters?! He had to keep you safe!!!

Simeon thought you were angel and then realized that you were not; Luke thought you were an angel and refused to believe that you weren’t

You didn’t have it in you to burst his bubble so soon, so you just let him run with it until Simon broke the news

It was like telling a kid that Santa Claus wasn’t real; you can only imagine how Luke took the revelation

Not well from what Solomon told you. Simeon kept saying he just needs some time to process things, and you just felt so awful about the whole thing

Which lead to you bringing him so much sweets that it made Beel jealous and very upset

But we all know how Beel can be around food, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. He chased you around all day and you had to use your pact to get him to stop!

And you promised to make him double the sweets in he forgave you so all is well

Luke was still obviously sad, but he wasn’t going to stay sad forever. Especially not after you brought this many sweets just for him!

Lucifer was not a happy demon when Simeon arrived at the HoL’s doorstep with you groaning and clutching your stomach. And Solomon took so many pictures of Luke while he passed out from his sugar high that he dedicated a whole album in his phone to it

Favorite activity to do together: Baking! (Obviously)

Trading recipes, shopping for ingredients together, baking things for each other to try (where really it was just to have double the desserts)

When you two are in the kitchen together, no one else is allowed (except for Simeon, but only if he’s looking and not touching). It’s now MC and Luke time, everybody else is gonna have to wait!

Luke only wants you to do the the activities that he sees as harmless: which is everything that doesn’t include sharp items and anything else that can hurt you

“MC get away from that! That can seriously hurt you! Let me get it for you instead!

“Luke, honey, it’s just an oven it’s not my first time using one-”

Too late, he already took it out of your hands into his own, mitts already on

Speaking of oven mitts

You guys have matching aprons and mitts!!

Barbatos may be a little bit jealous, but he likes the bond that you two have. And he knows that Luke won’t be a romantic rival so he’s alright lol

Luke is your deemed protector/bodyguard, and he proudly wears the title since no one bothers you because of him (or so he thinks). Everyone makes fun of him calling him a chihuahua, but jokes on him, when Luke complains, he complains

Won’t take long for Simeon or even one of the brothers to pick up on his whines complaints if he thinks someone is bothering you

Luke believes that while he’s small, he can protect you and try to keep you free from danger. He may be young, but he sees himself as the older brother out of you both (even though it’s really you being the older sibling and him being the baby). Always looking out for you especially since you’re too fragile to be left alone!

You’re one of the only people that genuinely likes him and don’t make fun of him. You’re dear to him MC, please don’t ever change!

Also, he definitely talks to Michael about you all the time so excitedly and sends him sweets that you both made together. Michael is a proud dad at this point

Solomon

Knew you wasn’t a doll but loved to tease you about being one anyway

Was there a spell that can really turn you into a doll? You wouldn’t mind if he tried it out on you, right MC?

Don’t tempt him please because he WILL do it

“Tell me, MC. Hypothetically speaking, if I were to purchase-”

“No Solomon, you can’t shrink me down to fit me into a dollhouse, no matter how nice it sounds. Besides, I can’t bake in a dollhouse, the oven wouldn’t work!”

“I can fix that.”

You’re very amusing to him for some reason. Was it because of how doll-like you are? The fairytale way that you dressed? How you were still human and was able to live with seven of the most powerful demons and not die? Maybe it’s the way that you still radiated such positivity despite being in literal Hell?

Honestly all of the above

TEACHING HIM HOW TO COOK/BAKE

Poor Solomon doesn’t realize that his cooking isn’t...the best

And you took the best approach in helping him atleast cook something that looks edible

You didn’t say his cooking was disgusting like some people (literally everyone else), so he took that you giving him lessons was a date of sorts

He wasn’t complaining. Your time spent in the kitchen was scenes straight of a romcom (no matter how cheesy it sounds); his arms wrapped around your waist and dotting icing on your pretty nose

May or may not have licked some icing off of you at one point, will definitely do it again

Solomon is a very confident man, borderline arrogant (Oh who am I kidding he IS arrogant). So yes, while people may see you as an easy target, he’s here to remind them that you’re not. And that if they want to try, chances are they won’t be walking away in one piece

He’s powerful, too powerful in fact. He may not be the strongest physically, but if even the entire student council recognizes his knowledge and what he’s capable of, no one should be dumb enough to test him (keyword: try)

But he wouldn’t mind showing off if it’s for you

You’re one of the only beings to ever peak Solomon’s interest genuinely. Yes, he loved to tease and bug you whenever he pleased, but you also made him want to come around you more and more. He was drawn to you, and that doesn’t happen a lot with him (at least without ulterior motives)

*coughcough* making pacts *coughcough*

You were the only thing that made Solomon feel weak, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still The Greatest Sorcerer, but he couldn’t help but feel himself get weak in the knees when you gazed at him with so much sincerity. He loves it and loves you

Once your back in the human world, he’s going to be so selfish with you. I mean, he already kinda was now, but this time there won’t be any interruptions or distractions around to take your attention

Us humans have to stick together, and what better way to stick together than to be together, wouldn’t you say MC?

[interact-if]

Welcome to Mod Appreciation Month!

This event is a lowkey one, designed for us to take some time to catch up on asks, rec lists, and other blog pages that happen mostly in the background such as the masterlists, database, and post tagging.

This blog is a lot of work! And we're happy to help out with promoting authors and exposing readers to new and interesting stories based on their interests!

That being said, we need a break!

This is why we are closing the inbox for July.

Please refrain from sending asks for rec lists through submissions. We’re leaving that line open specifically for new authors to submit their projects.

We are going to utilize this time to try and clear out our inbox--we have over 100 messages, most of them asking for rec lists, which take a few weeks at a time to properly curate, tag, and put in the queue.

We will also be working behind the scenes on other projects we hope to show off soon!

We're thrilled y'all are eager to read more, and we'll be back in August for sure. For now, if you need to get in contact with us, feel free to reply to posts, DM one of the mods, or get in contact with us over on our discord.

[Discord] [FAQ] [Ko-fi] [Reddit]

Below the cut are our rules, guidelines, and FAQ for recommending or suggesting games as well as general practice and etiquette.

We'll be back in August! <3

Now, to get into some of the details. (This applies regardless of the event to every ask sent, even if the inbox is currently closed.)

RULES WHEN SENDING ASKS

If you can and it is relevant, please tag your asks with content warnings in the beginning. Such as (cw violence) or (cw death), this is an extra precaution to keep both our mods and our readers safe and well-advised. This will also make tagging easier!

Please keep your asks as brief as you can! Any asks that are more than two asks long may get eaten by the Tumblr machine and/or may not be answered due to length.

If your ask hasn't been answered, it may be because it already has been! Be sure to search the tags and FAQ before sending in an ask.

Please don't spam! We won't respond to inappropriate asks or asks that have already been answered.

Recommendation lists

If you are submitting an ask for a rec list please be aware that these lists take a lot of time and effort to make! In average, it might take us up to two weeks to fully finish and queue a rec list, sometimes even longer. We’re happy to put them together but we ask for patience and understanding.

With that in mind, here are some guidelines:

Please look through the #interact-if asks and #if: rec list tags before sending and ask.

Constantly looking out and keeping track of IF projects takes a good chunk of our time among our other responsibilities as mods. For this reason, we came up with a tagging system that makes it easy for our audience to look through the blog. Unfortunately, it gets overlooked most of the time.

And for this reason, we get repetitive asks, which we ignore and delete.

The tagging system is there for your and our convenience. If you’re not sure whether you’re asking for a rec list of the same theme/genre that has already been posted, please consider looking through the aforementioned tags before sending an ask.

As much as we love entertaining the rec list asks, it does tend to be bothersome having to constantly reblog and link new asks to the posted rec lists, as well as reminding people to use the tagging system.

Please make your ask neither too broad nor specific.

This isn’t to sound finicky we promise! If an ask is looking for fantasy IFs without specifics we cannot properly curate a list of what you’re looking for. Is it modern fantasy? Medieval? Non-Eurocentric? Do you want fae fantasy? Supernatural? Fantasy is one of the most popular genres and asks like this example we cannot properly answer.

This is why we ask for rec list requests to be not too broad.

As for narrow–too narrow an ask will likely return a very short or non-existent list! At the end of the day there are only so many IFs and very specific niches may not be filled. We will try our best to answer, but likely your list will result in games adjacent to your request that we think best kind of sort of fit your request. We’re doing our best with the IFs that are out there.

Please be patient!

We often spend several days working on a single list. If your ask hasn’t been answered yet it may still be in the works or in our queue! If it’s been a long while and it still has not been answered, it may have been ignored for a variety of reasons including: Too broad an ask, too similar to previous rec lists, contains NSFW or offensive materials, etc. Please refrain from sending multiple check up asks

On the topic of NSFW asks/content…

We have received some inquiries regarding NSFW (like smutty scenes) recommendations in IF recently, and believe it best to clarify the stance Interact IF has on the matter.

We will be refraining from answering questions about explicit sexual content in IF. We as a team do not feel we have the expertise to help with this, nor have we been on the lookout for explicitly sexual IFs.

As well, it is not entirely suitable for the blog, as Interact IF is for all ages and there may be minors following it.

We would like this blog to remain as SFW as we can manage, with games properly tagged for their age groups and limiting asks and rec lists to non-sexually-explicit content.

With that in mind, feel free to get in contact with us anytime and we’ll do our best to find what you’re looking for!

Game Recommendations

Before sending in a game, please keep these aspects in mind:

DO

The game must be interactive fiction–the reader plays a character (either customizable or pre-determined) and makes choices that influence the game in some way.

The game can be text-based or a visual novel.

The game does NOT violate copyright (i.e. A published for-profit IF that is using the Star Wars universe. If it is not-for-profit (it’s free to play) then this is fine)

DON’T

If you play a character and can physically move them (walk, run, jump, attack), we consider this a video game and isn’t currently a niche we are supporting.

Recommend a game produced by a company–we are here to support individual authors or games written collaboratively by a group of authors/artists/etc.

Don’t recommend games that glorify violence, sexual violence, racism, sexism, and so on. Or which has (an) author(s) who also have a history of having engaged In aspects like these.

If your rec is good to go, here’s what you have to do! If you are able please provide a link to the post to reblog - this makes it a lot easier on us!If the game is 18+What language/program the game is in (Twine, Choicescript, Ren'py, etc.)If the game has a currently playable demo. If you would like your game reblogged/recc'ed, let us know with the same info/more if you like!

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Can you recommend games that are finished or complete?

We have a tag for that! Check out #status: complete, though you can also check out COG, Hosted Games, and search for complete games on Itch.io.

I can’t find a game and can’t remember the title, help!

If you’re struggling to find a beloved game and can’t remember the title–go to our Reddit and see if it’s there at the Lost & Found! If not, you can ask our community on the Reddit to help find it, or join our discord and ask there!

I noticed you failed to include x game on a list, so I will inform the author about it.

Please, don’t. The mods here are nothing but human, so we do our best to include as many games as we can remember, and frequently ask other people for help. However, this doesn’t mean we will include every single game in existence. We will forget, things will slip, so the least we ask of you is to leave a reply or send an ask and we will add it in. We promise we always keep a close eye on those.

The extra step of informing the author about this is unnecessary. The only thing you’re causing is either making the author feel left out or having them reach out to us to be added, which is essentially the same thing we ask of you to do. There’s no need to get a third party involved within something that can be easily tackled, so please respect us instead of putting our blog in a bad light.

The only suggestions we ignore and might erase are the ones we realize don’t fit the theme of the ask, or ones that don’t fit the guidelines specified in the question right below this.

What we do not promote.

Trans-exclusive radical feminism

Gratuitous sexual violence (This includes pedophilia, domestic abuse, r*pe, etc.)

Racism, including cultural appropriation, stereotyping, whitewashing, brown face, etc.

Any and all versions of sexism

Religious phobic rhetoric (Islamophobia, belittling indigenous religions, etc.)

And so on.

We also do not promote authors who have aligned themselves with these rhetorics, whether or not they are exhibited in the author's playable content.

[magicflowershop]

 one day kitty; Akaashi version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

straight up you knew you had feelings for this tired-looking boy from your school’s vball team

so you made some deals with the devil

yk fr bein a cat aint an easy job, you literally were minding your own business until one shop owner suddenly swept you away from their ramen store with a mop as if you’d actually care to bother abt their damn ramen

little did they know you were actually stalking this fine lad who was buying onigiri for breakfast at the next store

and since you were a cat, you knew you were cute by default and you decided to utilize this cuteness for the goodness of all

but when Akaashi saw the cat he immediately thought of Nekoma, he gone and went not giving it any ounce of attention, sad

of course this wasn’t the last of you

like if you had to annoy him just to notice you, you’d do it and you were kidding bc you didnt want to be pushed away with a mop again jfc

that’s what you thought you said bc you found yourself ogling at him in the gym at one point 

obv the other members took notice of a strange cat that was casually hanging out over there and casually watching their practice

Akaashi recognized you from this morning but he let the other guys have fun gushing at how cute and small you were instead

but that aint enough,,, you jumped out of Bokuto’s arms and went straight towards Keiji with those shiny, beady eyes luring him to your needy ass

the other lads caught on quick that the cat wanted Akaashi but you could care less about what they think ykyk

he crouched before you to look closely at your face,,,

“what do you want?”

you smiled in cat and literally said you but that translated as meow in human 

Akaashi might’ve stroked the top of your head subconsciously

you know you’re starting to wrap him around your lil paws

and ofc you werent finished uwu,,, you used every bit of your kitty energy to get his attention bc if you were human, you wouldn’t be able to shamelessly flirt like this cause you’re shy af

but comes a time where Akaashi lowkey found this sus

“do you need something from me?”

which was a stupid question to ask since he knows its a cat and it just happened to like him yk, he couldn’t rly help ask the question

“your love and affection, beautiful sir”

what

what the flipping fuq

the cat spOKE?????

Akaashi rly had to double take what just happened bc a voice just spoke outta no where and there were no girls around where they were???

you let out a cold sweat and shook off what just happened,, meowing purposefully at his face and nuzzlin at him like a regular normal kitty

but then you saw the demon fatass cat you made a deal with the previous night and knew, he was playin with you like the bitch he are

so Akaashi thought he only heard things and went back to his regularly scheduled programming

but with a puss <3

tailin him around <3

okay, Akaashi might’ve gotten used to you followin him around like his shadow, people around campus found it cute that there was a cat inside the corridors but Akaashi was just afraid of getting in trouble of letting a cat inside school premises

nuttin they can do now

he kept the cat inside his bag

and you leisurely slept inside <3

but ofc you aint just gon sleep inside his beautiful bag no ma’am you had business the first time you arrived there and you gon continue it 

what was it tho? 

what made you turn into a cat the first place? is it even worth the trouble of turning into a cat????

you were running out of time

the sun was about to set and once midnight strikes you go back to normal,,, and jesus do you still want to continue hanging out with this lad in cat form and pissing him off whenever you feel like it

you decided you wanted to stay in cat

that night after the vball practice ended, Akaashi figured he should bring you to the playground,,, and leave you there for the night, bc their apartment doesn’t allow pets inside :c

he sat on the swings and kinda watched you play on the sand, but you weren’t playing on the sand, i mean you arent actually a cat yk?

,,, you two were just starin at each other for a few minutes

“you’re a strange cat”

sis is quic wit

“it’s as if you’re acting like you’re in love with me”

toO QUIC

you meowed pretending some more bc if you actually said something it might translate into human language again

“but that can’t be true. the voice earlier can’t be true either... it sounded oddly like someone i know and she isn’t a cat”

okay,, uh,, what do you do from here

the fat cat is watching the entire thing

and it’s 10 boys what are y’all still doin in the playground

you remained dubious of the things he’s spouting, even when he picked you up from the sand onto his lap

“why are you suddenly quiet? you were so talkative earlier weren’t you? did you get tired or smth?”

AKAASHI WAS NEVER THIS TALKATIVE WHATS HAPPENING

was this part of the spell? is he falling in love with you know??? is he a fURRY NOW???

but then Akaashi decided it was time for him to go back home, bc unlike you he has a house and a life to go back to after school,,,

so by this time you’re panicking

time is running out and you lit do not know what do to 

“so what is your decision?” the fat cat grew before you, asking you whether you accept the cat life and give your human soul to him completely or go back to the shitty life you once had

tbh you trust nothing from this bitch, after clowning you how could you possibly trust anything else from him 

“i’m taking my life back thank you very much”

“i knew y/n acted so out of it earlier”

aGhAASHI neVER LEFT??

HOW CAN HE HEAR EVERYTHING

even the fat cat was as shocked as you were turning into human bit-by-bit since you were given back the will of wanting your normal life back by Akaashi pulling you away from the cat

“how- how did you know-”

tears formed in your eyes, and your heart swelled at his generosity

“when i found you wishing at the shrine we passed the other day, you suddenly disappeared,,, i asked the old man guarding the shrine what happened and apparently people go there to ask to get their normal lives taken away”

“and i was afraid of you taking away yours y/n”

should i make a taglist for this? comment if yes :>

[martiestudies]

Academic asks: 2, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 15, 22, 24, 25, 30, 32, 35, 40, 42, 46, 50. that's so many I'm so sorry but they're such cool questions that I wanna hear the answers too! of you don't wanna do that many you can just cut out a few (or more than a few!)

omg don’t apologize i looooove answering these kind of things

2. what’s your major?

ngl i still don’t get the college system they use in the usa lmao but i’m studying to become a chemical engineering!! it’s uhhhh 5 years but absolutely no one graduates in that time so..............

4. do you think you picked the right major?

yes!!! the pandemic unmotivated me a lot and i questioned very hard if i wanted to do this but i always ended up at the same answer: i really love what i’m studying and i wouldn’t change it

6. career goals?

uhhhh i don’t think i have many tbh because i’m trying to focus on short term goals? but. graduating with a good average and find work quickly in an interesting field, hopefully researching. OH and i want to study abroad too like do one of those exchanging(?) programs

8. what classes are you taking right now?

just two! because i fell a little behind last year so i’m slowly catching up (most of my classes are correlatives so). this semester i’m taking math-B and general chemistry.

9. favourite class out of everything you’ve ever taken and why?

hands down the physical-chemistry one on my second year of high school because it’s the one that made me fell in love with science

10. least favourite class ever and why?

i don’t think i’ve ever had a class i hated? if i did it was because of the professors, not the subject. the one that comes to mind is my 4th year’s technical mechanics class because it was basically applied physics (WHICH I LOVE) but the professor was the worst person i’ve ever met and i still have mild trauma bc of it

12. current least favourite class and why?

out of the ones i’m taking? math lol but because i love chem with burning passion and my math class can be kinda boring sometimes. i still like it tho

15. class you’ve always wanted to take but never had the chance?

languages’ classes like i wanna study italian properly and maybe german and recently i really really really want to do a korean curse. also an astronomy/astrophysics class !!!! the german and astro ones are actually offered as classes for my degree’s credits but i haven’t taken them yet.

22. what’s your preferred writing implement?

i love this question lol my mechanical pencil with 0.5 B2 mines is my bestie and also i like to use filgo lighter fines for writing anything and everything

24. describe your perfect study environment

i think the one i’ve been lately it’s ideal? it’s quiet because i’m in my apartment alone and i have really good natural lightning and my kitchen like 2 meters away so i can spend the day drinking teas. i could do with a bigger table though lmao

25. are you procrastinating right now?

absolutely yes

32. describe your favourite teacher/professor and why you like them

OHHHH MY PHYSCHEM HIGH SCHOOL PROFESSOR!!!!!!!!!!!! he’s one of the best teachers ever and he motivated me (and still do kinda) to be the best student and person i can be. he teaches other classes too in my high school so i’ve had the pleasure to have a few other classes with him and i absolutely ADORE him tbh all my love for science is thanks to him and his classes 

35. most profound thing ever said to you by a teacher/professor?

something that stuck with me is how the prof i mentioned before always made a point of letting his students know that EVERYONE has the capacity to learn things and be smart we just don’t have to give up

40. write the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog and post a photo

42. a lot of notes or the bare minimum?

i always do a L O T of notes for everything so i’m trying to tone that down but yeah i prefer to have a lot instead of not enough

46. do you have pre test rituals and what are they?

uhhhh i never review/study the day of an exam. my last revision is always the night before so that day i can keep a clear head and that’s always worked for me.

also,,, lately i’ve been lowkey praying to a religious card (? like estampita) of kim seokjin from bts (aka San Jin) made as a not-really-a-joke from a store here in argentina. it’s really cute. and if you’re an army you just KNOW seokjin radiates good luck (also i’ve never failed an exam since i started doing that so)

50. what’s something more important to you than school?

oh a lot of things !! i don’t think school is the most important thing in my life by far even though i do think it’s really important. i’m gonna say, for example, my cat

woooo this has been fun :)

ask me something!!

[piikakyu]

( JUNG WOOYOUNG, TWENTY ONE, CISMALE ) I just bumped into [ NAMKYU CHOI ] the other day while walking down [ NORTH ] Kingsboro, where [ HE/HIM ] lives. I hear they can be [ ENDEARING ] and [ STUBBORN ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ UNDER EYE BAGS COVERED WITH CONCEALER, HALF USED BOTTLES OF COLOGNE, A SHIRT THAT IS NEVER FULLY BUTTONED ]

general stats.

name: namkyu choi ( adoptive last name ; birth name unknown ) nicknames: nam, kyu ( preferred ) stage name: kyuu birthdate: november 17th, 1999 (21 y/o) place of birth: seoul, south korea family: mother, father, sister ( not biological ) birth family: mother, father, three brothers, one sister ( no contact with them whatsoever ) gender: cismale ; he/him pronouns height: 5′9″ sexual orientation: homosexual romantic orientation: demiromantic diagnoses: adhd, mild depression zodiac: scorpio social class: upper class current location: kingsboro, new york occupation: idol / dancer

languages spoken.

… korean (fluent) … japanese ( conversational ) … english ( relatively fluent, but slips up )

core / internal.

… (+) endearing, persistent, hard-working, generous, sweet, empathetic, determined, brave, honest, ambitious. … (-) impulsive, jealous, dramatic, obsessive, secretive, resentful, stubborn, assertive, emotional, intense.

more / extras.

namkyu loves the idea of being in love but is also in love with a million people at the same time. the guy will tell someone they’re his everything and then ghost them in two days. he is really bad at being a tease; he enjoys the excitement and the build up of a relationship, but then will dip when it gets serious. lowkey commitment issues. are we surprised? no.

if he wrongs you, he will apologize, and it is genuine. buuuut he might not even remember the conversation a few months down the road.

he really is a kind soul, but has had a rough life thus far. namkyu has so much love to give if he just lets himself feel it, and experience it. namkyu seems rough on the outside, but is truly just an idiot with so much of himself to give to anyone who is willing to take him. please love him!!

bio.

born in seoul, south korea to an extremely poor family. his parents deeply regretted bringing namkyu into the world when they knew that they wouldn’t be able to properly care for him. the family had three other children prior to namkyu (he was the youngest at the time), and the addition of the boy really added another level of stress to the family. while struggling to support him, his family lost their residence and was evicted due to lack of payment, thus causing them to jump around from place to place until his father could land a steady enough job to keep them a float.

NEGLECT TW. his mother didn’t care much about the children once they had been born, leaving the caring of the youngest up to the elder siblings, and therefore continued to have more children, specifically namkyu’s younger brother (who wasn’t even his father’s child), which only added another mouth to feed. END TW.

his father had been watching what the familial stress was doing to namkyu at the young age of four, and decided to put him up for adoption, hoping that his youngest son would be able to find a different family — one that would be able to support him in the way that he deserved. besides, namkyu was a bit of a handful; he was rather needy, and consistently wanted to be played with and held, crying when he didn’t get what he wanted. so, essentially, this wasn’t just for namkyu’s sake, but also for his father’s (as namkyu was a bit of an annoyance to him, anyway).

he was adopted into another family from south korea (the choi family), but was quickly relocated to america at the age of eight. it was a bit of a culture shock to say the least, but the family continued to practice korean traditions and customs even in their new home — new york city. the choi’s were extremely rich, and usually were able to soothe namkyu with toys, food, etc. they preferred to spend money on him than spend actual time with the boy, and thus namkyu has a very twisted vision of love, and what it looks like. this not only being from his experience with his new family, but also from being put up for adoption by his birth family. he is sort of unfamiliar with how it is supposed to feel.

namkyu began writing when he was in the 8th grade, and began to compose his own music once he joined the band program at his middle school. his parents had hired a music teacher for private lessons, and that was when the boy really found he had a love for music. not only a love, but also an immense talent. he continued to pursue his talents as he got older, and decided to move back to seoul (once of age) to become a trainee at one of the bigger entertainment companies there. of course, namkyu’s parents paid his flights, food, etc, and were happy to be rid of the boy for a short while. namkyu was placed into a group called supernova, which became sort of a household name rather quickly in south korea. they were fresh, new, and fun — not to mention handsome, so fans flocked to them as you can imagine. they’re slowly becoming known in america, with a few international fans. ( like, tomorrow x together or ateez )

namkyu is still a part of supernova today, but also writes / produces his own music under his solo name, kyuu.

he moved back to new york upon the release of their second studio album to get away from the flashing lights and paparazzi that seemed to follow him in seoul (and post outrageous stories in the magazines). namkyu lives in north kingsboro in a lavish, one bedroom apartment. he is well off, not only because of his successes, but also because of his family’s money.

[lesbians4shaynetopp]

Smosh Theatre AU

Actors

• Shayne- Baritone

• Courtney- Soprano

• Noah- Tenor

• Keith- Baritenor

• Damien- Baritenor

• Olivia- Alto/Mezzo

• Sarah- Mezzo/Sop

• Kimmy- Alto/Mezzo

• Ian (but mostly assi. director)- Bass

Crew

• Matt- stage manager

• Mari- assi. stage manager

• Joven- set head

• Lasercorn- set head

• Wes- sound head

• Boze- costume/makeup head

• Flitz- props head/choreographer

• Sohinki- lights head

Directors- Rhett and Link

The Musicals

Little Shop Of Horrors

Seymour- Noah

Audrey- Courtney

Audrey II- Keith

Orin Scrivello- Damien

Crystal, Ronnette, and Chiffon- Kimmy, Olivia, and Sarah

Mr. Mushnik- Shayne

Falsettos

Marvin- Damien

Whizzer- Shayne

Trina- Kimmy

Mendel- Keith

Jason- Noah

Charlotte- Olivia

Cordelia- Courtney

Waitress

Jenna- Courtney

Dawn- Olivia

Becky- Kimmy

Dr. Pomatter- Damien

Earl- Ian

Ogie- Noah

Cal- Shayne

Joe- Keith

Headcanons

Actors

Damien

• Damien is the star of the program

• He has a lot of range as an actor

• He has singing range up to a F#4 belt

• He had so much fun as Orin in little shop

• Dark Damien popped off honestly

• And then with falsettos he went off with it all. Bitch’ll make you cry

• Though he had a harder time staying in character with him

• Just because it’s hard to do Thrill Of First Love with your best friend (if you know you know)

• He didn’t think he was going to be Dr. Pomatter but that’s how it ended up

• It was a little harder on his voice, but he loved every second

Keith

• Keith has RANGE BABYY He goes up to an A4 and down to a C3

• His favorite role he’s every done was Audrey II.

• He says it’s because he didn’t have to worry about blocking

• But it’s really bc he got to play with it a lot

• Mendel was harder for him bc he’s used to over the top characters

• He was so excited to work with Noah a lot

• Bc ya know bffs

• Being Joe in Waitress wasn’t his favorite role, but he can play old really well

• He was the sweetest old man and he made Courtney cry on stage during Take It From An Old Man

Noah

• Then Noah is a NATURAL tenor. He can go to a B4 but he can’t go very low

• He’s a phenomenal with body language on stage

• Also he gets main roles bc he can sing so high

• But also bc he’s just fucken talented

• Seymour was he best role. Like- he was perfect for the role.

• He burst out laughing when he saw the cast list for falsettos bc OF COURSE he was cast as the little Jewish kid

• But that also meant Damien, Keith, Shayne, and Kimmy got to be his parents 🥰🥰

• The CHEMISTRY he and Keith had on stage during falsettos tho

• In Waitress he was lowkey confused about being Ogie and not Dr. Pomatter bc he thought Damien was gonna be Ogie

• But he ended up really liking Ogie

• He basically had the comedic relief and two solo songs sooo

Courtney

• Courtney?? She’s a hella soprano. Belts a F5 and amazing falsetto.

• She will usually get the main roles bc she a soprano and blonde

• So of course she got Audrey

• Doing the accent was really fun for her

• The entire character was very over the top and fun for her

• Tho she honestly thought she was going to be Trina, but she accepted the fact that she has been overthrown by Kimmy

• And she loved being a lesbian with Olivia

• Bc that was just everyday for them

• Jenna in Waitress was her best role

• It was the most vulnerable she’s ever felt on stage

• She loved working with Damien too

• Bad Idea? So much fun.

Shayne

• Shayne is more into the straight plays but he does like to do the musicals.

• He’s truly a baritone, but for falsettos he was able to stretch it and build his falsetto (haha)

• It did take a little bit of a toll on his voice

• But it was SO worth it making people cry during The Games I Play and You Gotta Die Sometime

• It was the most work he’s ever put into a show character-wise

• He usually plays the homophobic assholes and now he’s playing the boyfriend of the homophobic asshole (haha oops 🤭🤭)

• Honestly he did fall a little more in love with Damien (in a friend way obviously) during the entire process

• Being mean to Noah in Little Shop? Best thing

• The dancing in Mushnik & Son was a lot of work for him

• But it was a really fun song too

Kimmy

• Kimmy was a newbie for Little Shop and blew everyone away with her powerful alto belt

• They didn’t think twice about her for Trina

• And she fucking KILLED IT

• She thought Courtney hated her for a little bit, but she realized that’s it wasn’t the case

• Everyone accepted her in immediately

• She got closer to everyone really quick because of falsettos since it was a smaller cast and more relationship building

• Working with Keith was a lot of fun for her

• He brought a lot to the table, comedy-wise and it was just a blast for her

• Then with Waitress she REALLY got to connect with the girls which was amazing

• And she got to really belt out those alto notes as Becky

Olivia

• Olivia was never a naturally good singer, but she really wanted to do theatre (especially musical theatre) so she did A LOT of voice lessons

• She’s a great dancer and actor though

• But she usually doesn’t get the biggest roles in the musicals

• Except for Waitress which was a great experience for her

• It was such a perfect role for her character-wise

• With falsettos though, she had a hard time with it all

• The character was really anything she’s done before

• And the singing was VERY belt-y

• But by the end it was great

Sarah

• Sarah isn’t the best out of the other actors, but it doesn’t really bother her

• Anything is good for her

• She likes supporting the actors

• And she got to be assistant director for Waitress!

• When she’s not in the shows, she usually helps Boze with costumes and makeup or set with the design aspects

• She’s sort of a jack of all trades around there

Ian

• He’s been apart of the program for a WHILE

• He started out as an actor, but as more people kept coming he started doing more assistant director stuff

• Which is fine for him

• He likes doing the more director-y things

• Since he IS a bass, it’s harder for him to get musical roles since broadway is FULL of tenors

• He was ecstatic when he saw he got to be in Waitress

• Of course as Earl

• Rock vocals are his thing

• Also acting as a creep

Crew

Matt

• He is THE stage manager

• He’s super organized and very on top of everything

• He works a lot with sound and lights

• The focus is REAL during shows bc he be calling cues like a madman

• If you look at his script, it’s very messy though

• All different colors and notes jammed into the margins

• He’s not afraid to yell at the crew if they screw something up

• But they all still love him

Mari

• She’s also super organized so she and Matt are a super team

• She works more closely with the more tangible aspects of the show like set and props

• She’s also not afraid to yell at them

• She takes more organized notes so the directors are actually able to read them

Joven and Lasercorn

• they’re like an old married couple when it comes to the set

• Joven dreams big, while Lasercorn thinks more practically

• Mostly because Lasercorn does the bulk of the actual building and inventory

• Joven does the blueprints

• In the end, they’re a dream team and are there to make the shows look awesome

• And they Do

Wes

• Sound is no easy task that requires a lot of patience with the directors and focus

• There have been multiple instances that Matt has YELLED at him because of missed cues, a cue being too quiet, etc.

• And on performance night, literally sweat is dripping from his forehead bc of the stress

• They joke that it’s where his silver hair comes from

• And it may seem like the worst thing ever to be on sound, but Wes loves the thrill of it all

Boze

• She loves theatre and always wished to be apart of it somehow

• She’s never been able to act, dance, or sing very well, so she applied to the local regional theatre to do the things she CAN do: thrift, sew, and do makeup

• She loves helping with quick changes and putting makeup on the men

• ESPECIALLY Damien since he hates makeup

Flitz

• He’s always loved dance, but he’s not really a singer or an actor

• Also loves antiques

• So the program put him head of props because they were low on staff at that time

• The theatre doesn’t usually do super dance heavy musicals, so any songs that do have dance numbers, he will choreograph

• He did all of the choreo for Crystal, Chiffon, and Ronnette in Little Shop, Mushnik & Son, the smaller stuff in Falsettos, Never Ever Getting Rid Of Me, and Bad Idea in Waitress

Sohinki

• He had experience in lighting for a small concert venue and then he came to the theatre bc he needed a job very bad

• And the theatre needed techies, so it was a perfect match

• He had to admit, doing lights for shows is so much better than concerts

• There’s more of a thrill to it

[blamgleek]

Tyrus' first times headcanons

Short disclaimer beforehand: I've never done this before, this is literally my first time. Also, English isn't my first language, there shouldn't be too many mistakes but there might be some. This is also much longer than I intended it to be but oh whatever.

• acknowledgement of each others existence

TJ would never tell Cyrus but the muffin incident wasn't the first time he had noticed him. TJ had one talent and that was noticing cute boys. For the longest time, he thought Buffy was Cyrus' girlfriend which was also part of the reason why TJ didn't like her at first.

Cyrus' first encounter with the name 'TJ' wasn't as lovely though. He was Buffy's bully which means he wasn't worth any love or friendship from Cyrus but admittedly, the first thought that went through Cyrus' head when Buffy dragged TJ to get him a muffin, was: "He has nice eyes."

• exchanging numbers

TJ did go back to the swings after the first time and, fortunately, he did meet Cyrus there again. Only this time, neither of them were feeling bad about themselves, maybe it was the universe speaking, but they both felt the urge to come back to the swings. They talked for a while (literally until the was replaced by the moon). Before Cyrus could leave because it was late, TJ stopped him, built all the courage he had left in his body up and asked Cyrus for his number. Luckily, Cyrus happily gave it to him.

• sleepover

Their first sleepover occurred after the whole gun incident. They had been to each other's home's before but Cyrus never thought TJ would want to spend an entire night with him. The first sleepover took place at TJ's house (because he doesn't have shrink parents) and TJ was a lot more nervous than he had been before any math test ever. He wanted the whole thing to be absolutely perfect. Usually, he was the most chill person there is on any sleepover but all he wanted to do was to impress Cyrus.

Cyrus himself wasn't any less nervous. He didn't want TJ to notice how lame he truly and his dinosaur pyjama surely didn't help his case.

As it turned out, being nervous was completely unnecessary. They basically got into their PJs immediately (out of solidarity to the dinosaurs, TJ wore his embarrassing High School Musical fan shirt along with his sweatpants) and then they continued to watch movie after movie after movie, well, if you can call making fun of cheesy rom-coms "watching". At one point in the night, they weren't able to keep their eyes open for another movie anymore so they'd just talk about random stuff until they would fall asleep.

The next morning, TJ would continue his mission to make this sleepover perfect and try his hand on chocolate chocolate ship... pancakes! for breakfast.

• date

The night of the mysterious bench was also the night of TJ asking Cyrus out on a date. Of course Cyrus happily accepted and told TJ about a million times that night, that it didn't have to be special. But of course TJ could not accept that. He had listened to everything Cyrus had told him the past months and his brain was full of amazing date ideas.

After a lot of thinking, TJ finally settled on the aquarium. It was a great place to talk, he knew Cyrus loved it and it was really close to the park. The park. Instead of taking Cyrus out to dinner after the aquarium, TJ thought it would be a great idea to have a picnic in the park. Luckily, Buffy and Andi were super helpful setting everything up while they were looking at fish. TJ couldn't have been happier to be able to call them his friends as well.

• first time in school as a couple

Their first time going to school as a couple was scary. Sure, Shadyside was generally really accepting and TJ was still the scary-basketball-guy to most people but there was always this shadow of doubt. They both knew that rubbing it in everyone's face would be a bad idea so they kept it very lowkey (basically walking very close together and holding hands under the lunch table). This method continued for a few weeks until TJs basketball team came up to their captain and confronted him about his relationship with Cyrus. Long story short, they all ship it and Tyrus is now part of the Jefferson-Middle-School-Basketball-Team-Protection-Program.

• kiss

After his super successful kisses with Iris, Cyrus wasn't the most confident when it came to his first kiss with TJ. TJ, on the other hand, had never been kissed and that was what held him back from doing it. They had been dating for about a month at this point and there had never been any lip contact. It got to the point that TJ started to practice kissing with his childhood teddy. It wasn't pretty.

It was the faithful day of their one month anniversary when Cyrus finally decided that it was time. At this point, he wasn't scared anymore that TJ was just pranking him and would just say, "ha, you fool, I'm not gay." once Cyrus would show his affection. This was the day.

It was Cyrus' turn to take TJ out on a date and as always, the date ended at the park. TJ and Cyrus would sit down on the swings and TJ would thank Cyrus for the amazing day. That was what they did after every date. However, this time, instead of starting to swing, Cyrus got up, stood directly in front of TJ, took a deep breath, said "you're welcome" and then he leaned in. Just like any first kiss would be, theirs was a little awkward as well, but the fireworks were there and they improved over time, very very quickly.

• cuddle

The first time they cuddled was also in the Kippen house. They really had almost all of their sleepovers there at this point. TJ loved Cyrus' family but they were a little controlling and basically checked on them every 2 seconds. TJ's mom only showed up to bring them snacks or more blankets, other than that, she really didn't bother them.

In the end, they could probably thank the horror movie industry for introducing them to the art of cuddling. The whole school had been talking about his awesome new horror movie and for some reason, TJ and Cyrus seemed to be the only two people who hadn't seen it. They both didn't want to be that person that couldn't participate in any conversations anymore so they decided to watch it together. Turns out, they both hate horror movies. Really, cuddling seemed to be the only way to get through it. It started with simple hand holding but it didn't take long for them to scoot together more and more until Cyrus was almost on TJ's lap. Cyrus buried his head into TJ's shoulder while TJ did kind of the same thing but with Cyrus neck. After the movie was over, they kinda moved away from that again and Cyrus was sitting fully on the sofa again, however, his head did not move from his comfortable spot on TJ's shoulder.

• sleeping in the same bed

TJ Kippen is scared of horror movies (apparently), heights and any animal that has more than 4 legs.

Cyrus Goodman is scared of all those things too and flamingos and puppets and thunder and, well, a lot more.

They had been together for a year at this point and it was time for yet another sleepover at TJ's house. Everytime Cyrus slept at TJ's house, they would just put an air mattress on the ground for Cyrus, it wasn't the most comfortable but Cyrus quickly got used to it. This night was different though. The weather hadn't been great for the last few days but up until this point, it had only been raining. It was about 3 am when Cyrus woke up to the sound of thunder. The whole room lit up with the light coming from the lightning and Cyrus was terrified. Thankfully, the loud noise also woke TJ up who could now hear not only the thunder but also the sound of a crying boy on his bedroom floor. Of course TJ immediately knew what was happening and he tried to comfort Cyrus but nothing worked. TJ quickly decided that this was basically another horror movie situation and invited Cyrus to get into his bed. Cyrus gladly accepted the offer and so TJ held Cyrus in his arms, kissed his forehead and waiting for Cyrus to fall back asleep.

• I love you

TJ and Cyrus both knew that they loved each other but they hadn't said it yet. One year into their relationship and at this point, neither of them felt it was necessary to actually say it out loud anymore. However, when TJ saw a sleeping Cyrus in his arms, still with wet eyes from crying because of the thunder, he couldn't hold it back anymore. Of course TJ knew that Cyrus was asleep but he still whispered the magical three words into his ear before he closed his own eyes and fell back asleep.

Cyrus' first "I love you" actually happened shortly after. In the morning after that horrible night, he woke up to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and hot chocolate. IN BED! Cyrus just stared at his boyfriend in awe and wondered how he could ever be this lucky. After the glorious meal, Cyrus just collapsed on top of TJ, told him he loved him and gave him a quick kiss. Of course, TJ gave Cyrus the same words and the same action back.

[in-tua-deep]

First time anon wanted to say I love all of your tua au’s. They are absolutely fantastic and I am soft for all of them. However I did amuse myself with the barking mad au, noticed you never write about Pogo in your au’s (do you not like him btw? No pressure on it just curious), but I just like the thought of him meeting/talking to partially feral!Five and he can’t quite figure out which language (animal or english) is more appropriate to say ‘master five what the ever living F****?!’ in.

!! hello first time anon! thank u for messaging <3 <3

asdfHJGFSDG you caught me,, i don’t like Pogo and don’t think he should have a place in the children’s lives so I never write him into any of my aus because I lowkey want him to disappear

mainly because Pogo was complicit in their abuse to the point where even after Reginald was dead he was still keeping secrets - like he was complicit in drugging a child almost her entire life and emotionally abusing her by backing up the “You’re ordinary” narrative Reginald built up

and even after his death, Pogo stood up and said their dad left behind a complicated memory but then proceeded to compliment the man because presumably Pogo owed so much to him etc. etc. 

Grace I can excuse, because she’s a robot. She functionally had no free will since Reginald was fully capable of tinkering with her programming and forcing her to obey and keep quiet, but Pogo was an adult sentient being capable of free will and he still looked the other way. 

Yeah okay you could say maybe he did it because he was afraid that if he turned against Reginald, he wouldn’t have anywhere to go. You could say he didn’t know how to help beyond attempting to be there for the kids and turning a blind eye to some of their shenanigans (like going out to Griddy’s). BUT. After Reginald’s death he continued to keep the kids in the dark about their dad’s plan, withheld information, and made no move to correct anything. Like i’m pretty sure if he told Klaus “the box contained your father’s journal recording your sister’s power, no not allison, actually your dad drugged her all her life and I’d like to set the record straight on her being ‘ordinary’” klaus would have tried a hell of a lot harder to get it back

Grace, after Reginald’s death, was glitched out of her mind tbh but once fixed she made it clear that she did not support Reginald. After all, telling ur son that you’d like to go out when you were never permitted and then telling him that his dad isn’t around anymore to give orders is a pretty cool moment if I do say so myself

and in the day that wasn’t, Grace was going to tell all the secrets she’d been forced to keep over the years in the park as well. She tried to put it right pretty much as soon as she was capable

Pogo didn’t. He purposefully made efforts to continue Reginald’s plan, up to and including attempting to frame Grace for Reginald’s suicide, not telling Vanya about her powers, not telling anyone about that whole skeezy business, fixing Grace but then reminding her to keep secrets (which she rejects), and just generally. continued supporting a man we know to be an abusive piece of shit idk

so yEAH I don’t like Pogo and consider him to be an accomplice to Reginald’s abuse where I don’t hold Grace accountable because there’s free will involved and while he might have advocated for the children, I doubt he ever pressed if Reginald put his foot down which is why i never include him in anything lmao

as far as i’m concerned in all my aus he’s off chilling at one of Reggie’s other properties or something because Vanya doesn’t want him around (and for good reason) so he can live his days in retirement,,, anywhere else

as for the barking mad au, getting back to ur original ask, I think Pogo is?? Too human-ized? I doubt he’s been a proper chimpanzee for many years, a minimum of like. actually when was he introduced to the household? Was it before the kids were there? Average lifespan of a chimp is what, forty years? And he looked older with his cane and stuff so. Probably? 

But regardless I doubt he can understand anything Five is ‘saying’ with body language beyond what humans can read, mainly because dogs/cats and chimps are different (though Five also knows some sick birdcalls and can mimic alarm calls and ‘hello!’ and other cool thing) and feral!Five lived with only cats and dogs during the apocalypse. It’s a little like dumping a dog in with a colony of chimps - confusion on all sides rip so while Pogo probably would be like “Master Five what the Fuck” it’s more because Five is behaving like,, well,, an animal. Which all of the siblings are also thinking tbh

dog people or cat people would probably be able to pick up things here and there though. like that specific meow cats do when they Hunger, or the wiggling that says ‘happy and probably overstimulated’, and growls/hisses/showing teeth should be self explanatory tbh but like, there’s other things. Like quietly mirroring to hang out, slow blinks as affection, the way dogs will playfully run up and then run away in an almost crab scuttle to see if you’ll follow to play (with bonus jumping powers!), the either cowering down with metaphorical tail between legs or PUFFING UP to be the BIGGEST when threatened, whines that mean ‘hurry up!! come on!’ when someone is going too slow, the running ahead and running back to check and running ahead again

like look i have a pretty quiet dog all things considered, and i had an even quieter dog before they. She only really barks when people come up to the door tbh, but I Know People who own dogs like huskies who are the most vocal little shits in existence and who WILL scream when inconvenienced or nervous

(my sister, a vet student interning at a vets, has regaled me with tales of huskies brought to the clinic who just screamed like they were being murdered the entire time despite them not even being examined or anything. they were literally just chilling in the kennel.)

Feral!Five is actually more vocal than ur regularly scheduled Five but everyone wishes he Wasn’t (he’s also way less standoffish and very likely to just full body rub himself against his siblings or drape himself across them tbh bc like. if they wanted him to quit all they’d have to do is give a warning snap or growl or grumble and they don’t sO)

BUT HEY if u want to write something for the au then feel free to include Pogo and your idea because it is very cute!! I just don’t like Pogo and refuse to include him in things lmao

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Your Favorite? [1]

Plot: AU You’re part of the exchange program group from another country attending a Semester Abroad for university credit in Australia. The other students have been welcoming and friendly since you’ve arrived. You fell in with three students but two of them may like you more than just as a friend. So the big question they have for you is: who is your favorite Aussie?

Rating: PG (Light language, crushes, friendly competition)

Characters: University Student!Christopher (Bang Chan), University Student!Felix, University Student!Rosé, Foreign Exchange Student!Female Reader, plus mention of other members.

Notes: This was inspired by another event during the time I hosted Australian exchange students in high school. We all attended a party with the hosts and exchange students and a mutual friend of the girls I hosted tried to get me to say he was my favorite Aussie. (One of the girls I hosted, plus another exchange student shut him down quickly to save me from awkwardness, but it was funny.) In this story, I’m focusing only on the Aussie line from Stray Kids and BLACKPINK. (I know there’s two other idols who are from Australia but I’m not as familiar with them and I wanted to keep it focused on these three.)

2

                                                ---------------------

“I need to study with you for the next exam,” Rosé sighed as she moved her bag higher on her shoulder.

You swiped her test from her hand and took a quick look. “The grade’s not that bad Rosie – it’s better than the class average!”

“But it’s still not as high as I wanted it!” she pouted. She puffed her cheeks out like a chipmunk and you laughed, before passing the test back.

“She’s storing nuts again,” a warm voice teased from behind.

Both of you turned to see it was Christopher, another student in your year, who was studying Music Production. Rosé scowled at the comment and nudged Christopher in the arm, which prompted him to fake being hurt.

“Y/N, she’s hurting me!” he whined.

Rosé shot him a look and gestured to his impressive biceps. “I didn’t elbow you that hard! Besides, you’ve got muscles.”

“Blame Han – he called you Chaemunk,” Chris whispered, pretending to nurse his arm.

“Come on you two, knock it off,” you said, shaking your head. “Can we talk about anything else that doesn’t involve Contemporary Literature?”

Christopher straightened up and came around to your other side. He tilted his head and shared that his roommate was hosting a party this weekend.

“Which one? Han or your exchange student roommate Changbin?” you asked.

“Han of course,” Christopher confirmed. “Binnie’s going to be there too, but he’s a bit shy.”

You raised a brow and Rosé explained that she heard the last party Chris was at got shut down by authorities. He held his hands up and insisted it wasn’t his party.

“Ladies, I was an attendee the last time!” he protested. “I make sure we respect the neighbors, don’t let the underage ones drink, and everyone is safe.”

“Sorry Chris, but Rosie and I already made plans,” you shared. “Plus I promised Lix I’d beat him in a round of Mario Party.”

“Lix? You mean Felix Lee?”

“Yeah I call him Lix sometimes,” you clarified. “Maybe we can grab lunch or coffee next week?”

“Oh um, course!” he said as you neared your dormitory. “Well, see you.”

                                                 ---------------------

“You’re moping because of Y/N, aren’t you?” Changbin asked him in Korean. He had taken a break from messing with a track he was composing and saw Chris was glumly looking through his phone.

“Huh? Um no, no! Binnie, I’m bored, that’s all!” Chris insisted. He tried to turn his phone off, but Changbin already noticed that Chris was scrolling through your Instagram.

“You’re Instagram-stalking her,” the roommate noted with an amused look. “Look, why not ask her on a real date?”

Chris put his phone face down and sighed. In theory, he should have pucked up the courage to tell you that he thought you were cool. You completely defied his expectations of someone from your home country and he liked spending time with you. The semester was starting to fly by and eventually, you’d be leaving Australia, possibly for good. But he hated the thought of putting himself out there, only to end in rejection and losing a good friend in the process.

Changbin took a seat next to the other male and folded his hands on the counter. He looked around the kitchen and sighed.

“I get...that you don’t want to scare her off,” he said, “but I think you’re going to hate yourself if you say nothing.” He looked over his shoulder at Chris and asked if you were coming to Han’s party.

Chris shook his head and revealed that you already made plans with Rosé and Felix this weekend. Changbin nodded to show he understood and tilted his head as he thought for a moment.

“Maybe next weekend or after class? If you’re worried, maybe do something lowkey, like coffee or ice cream?” he suggested.

                                                ---------------------

“Buh bye Loser!” you taunted as you steered your character past Felix’s. You pressed your controls to make your car jump a bridge in the mini challenge, and whooped when it landed safely on the other side. Your car was moments away from the Finish line when Felix’s car landed behind yours.

You hunched your shoulders forward as you steered the car, trying to keep the gap between your car and his. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Felix poking his tongue out through his lips as he concentrated on the path to the Finish line.

You bit your lip as some boulders rolled across your path and you made swerving maneuvers and some jumps to avoid them. Felix hit one and groaned loudly as his car spun out of control, hitting another in the process. This gave you enough time to push forward and have your avatar cross the finish line.

“YES!” you cheered, throwing your controller down.

Felix huffed as he put his down a bit roughly on the couch, shaking his head. “That’s not fair!”

You whirled around and grinned, leaning over to rumple his hair. “Tough luck Lix – I said I wasn’t going easy on you.”

Felix managed to keep the pout on his face, chewing on his bottom lip slightly to hide how much he liked your fingers running through his hair. He knew the gesture was done in a friendly, almost sibling-like manner, but he wished you see that it was only a year gap between the both of you.

“Okay, what’s the punishment for losing?” he deadpanned.

You shook your head and told him that you weren’t putting him through a punishment. “You said we should hang and try to beat each other in games, so that’s what we did,” you reminded him, resuming your place on the couch. You smiled softly and thanked Felix for inviting you over. “I really needed to stop thinking about my classes and tests and do something mindless but fun. Thanks Felix.”

He softened his expression and nodded, allowing a brilliant smile to spread across his face.

“Of course,” he replied.

                                                ---------------------

“You’re not paying for mine!”

Chris smirked as he slid in front of you and passed over money for your coffee and pastries to the cashier. “Too late.”

“I’ll pay you back,” you insisted as you grabbed your cup and plate with the choux bun.

He shook his head and declared it was his treat. You sighed, thanking him as you carried your things over to a table by the window. He followed with his cup and some napkins and forks.

He had taken Changbin’s advice and asked if you wanted to check out this trendy dessert cafe in town after both of you were done with class. It was lowkey and this way he could gauge your feelings for him before pouring his heart out to you.

“Classes going all right?” he asked as he sank into his seat.

You nodded as you put the choux bun in the center of the table, indicating that you could share it with him. He passed you a fork and some napkins, prompting you to take the first bite.

You stabbed your fork into the pastry and picked up some of the shell and the creme filling. He watched as you tried your bite, then flashed him a thumbs up.

“You should take Han here – this is really good!” you said.

“Maybe I will,” he mused before taking some of the pastry to try. “Everyone missed you at the party this weekend.”

“How crazy did it get?” you asked before taking a sip of your coffee.

Chris finished his bite and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Actually it wasn’t bad! We did offer a few drinks, but everyone knew to be respectful of the neighbors. Craziest thing that happened was Han had to kiss some girl because he lost at Suck and Blow.”

“Anyone he was interested in?” you asked.

Chris opened his mouth to reply, but was startled by someone tapping on the glass. You turned your head and smiled when you saw it was Felix, accompanied by his friend Minho. Both boys waved to you before entering the cafe and making their way to your table.

“Perfect timing!” Felix remarked as he wrapped his fingers around his messenger bag strap. “Minho was looking for you, Chris. Said he’s struggling with his Japanese homework.”

Minho nodded as he came up beside Felix and produced a test. “Sorry hyung, but I know this grade’s not good enough for my mom – I’m doing extra credit homework to make up for this. Can you help me now?”

Chris resisted the urge to sigh, silently wishing that the universe would just work in his favor for once. He plastered a small smile on his face and motioned for Minho to follow him to another area of the cafe. Felix mouthed a thank you to Chris, before asking if he could try the pastry.

“Ask Y/N – it’s hers really,” Chris said before guiding Minho to a quieter area.

Felix pointed to the plate and you told him to have some. He grinned as he sank in Christopher’s chair, putting his bag down on the ground. He reached out and broke off a piece, placing it in his mouth.

You pointed to the corner of his mouth, noticing he had some cream on the corner. He accepted a napkin from you and wiped it off.

                                                ---------------------

Han

Y/N!! You missed my party. :( Sent 16:32 PM

Y/N

Sorry Han! Maybe next time? Sent 16:36 PM

Han

How about game night tonight? You, me, Chaemunk, Felix, Chris, Binnie, and Minho? Sent 16:38 PM

“May I get you ladies anything to drink?” Han asked after you and Rosé arrived.

“Water,” you both replied.

“That’s it?” Han asked with a pout.

“No drunken Truth or Dare,” you warned him. “I came to play games, not get so wasted that I can’t remember making out with someone.”

“We’re not drinking either!” Felix called out as he leaned to the side, trying to see who joined. Minho mimicked his movement, holding up a soda can.

“Hey, I’m not either!” Chris protested as he showed his water bottle.

“It’s just Han who wants to,” Changbin remarked with an amused smile.

Han shook his head and insisted that he’d forgo alcohol tonight too. “I only wanted to make the offer in case.” He pulled out two water bottles and passed them to you and Rosé.

You opened yours and took a sip, while Rosé asked where the restroom was. Changbin rose from his seat and pointed out the directions to the bathroom. She thanked him before excusing herself.

Han cracked open a soda and took a long sip from it. He sighed, putting the can down on the counter. “So Y/N, your semester here’s almost over,” he noted.

Your shoulders slumped and you sighed, glumly recapping your water bottle. You had tried not to think about it, since it meant you would be going back to your university and leaving all of your wonderful new friends behind. Sure there was social media where you could keep in touch and you could always try to save money to visit them, but it wasn’t the same. All of your little spots to visit with friends, the sights you’d see on your walks to campus or days off, they would be very different once your semester ended.

“Yeah I guess it’s coming up really soon,” you said. “I was having a good time that I didn’t realize it was almost over.”

Felix looked over at you and Chris threw Han a look for dampening the mood. Han shrugged as he took another sip from his can. A ghost of a smirk appeared on his lips as he asked, “So, out of everyone you’ve met...who’s your favorite person?”

You blinked at the question and looked around at all of the people in the room. Changbin spoke up and added that you shouldn’t count him in the possible list of people.

“I’m an exchange student too,” he reminded you. “I think this is more for the local students. So to rephrase Han’s question: who is your favorite Australian friend here?”

You uncapped your water bottle and took a sip from it, trying to delay your answer. It didn’t seem fair to pick just one of them – all of the people you met were wonderful in their own way.

“Well technically I’m not from Australia and Han isn’t either,” Minho added with a thoughtful look. “So, is Chris-hyung, Felix, or Rosé-noona your favorite?” He took a sip from his soda can and smirked, looking at Felix, then Chris.

You slowly swallowed the water you were drinking, not daring to look at either of the guys named. Picking one of them wasn’t going to be fair to the other and honestly, both of them were great. You liked Chris who was easy to talk to and a good listener. Felix had a warm, friendly personality and you always had fun with him.

“Um can I pass on the question out of courtesy to everyone?” you asked in a small voice.

The guys looked at you in confusion, then Han began talking, with Minho adding over him that you had to pick one. Changbin rolled his eyes and shook his head at Minho for starting trouble. Chris sighed as he tried to get Han’s attention.

“HEY!” Felix yelled. This made Han and Minho stop talking and everyone turned their attention to him. His eyes met yours and he leaned forward in his seat slightly.

“Y/N, we can handle this,” he said.

Chris nodded as he stepped forward, putting his water down as he walked closer. He flattened his palms on the counter and tilted his head. “We’re all adults here – no one’s gonna get their feelings hurt,” he reassured you.

You closed the water bottle again and looked from Chris to Felix again. For once, you wished you had said no to Han tonight. Sure both of the guys might be okay with you picking one person, but you knew one of them would be hurt if you showed favoritism toward the other.

“So honestly Love, is it me?” Chris asked with a sly grin.

You blinked and Felix rose from his seat, making his way to the same counter where the elder boy stood. He propped his elbows on the counter and rested his chin cutely between his hands.

“Sorry Chris, but I think I’m her favorite – you know with all of the fun games and excitement I have to offer in my room,” Felix chimed in. “She does love her Mario games.”

“Guys look, I –”

You felt someone wrap their arms around you and you turned to see it was Rosé, squishing you in a cute side hug. She flashed you her cutest smile and you couldn’t help but smile in turn.

“Sorry guys, but it’s me!” Rosé sang.

[leonajasmin-writeblr]

Ten Questions Tag

I got tagged in the same game thrice so while it’s a 10 Questions tag, I have thirty to do haha. Thanks for the tag @booksandsass , @nemothepenguin and @jmichines!

Do you remember your first writing project? What was it?

I do! The first thing I wrote was a 38K novella when I was six. It was about two girls in their young teens (I think one was 13 and one was 14, I can’t remember) who always ended up going to this ice cream shop. Their teacher was their best friend and I named one character after part of my name backwards. It’s cringy, but I’m still proud to say I completed such a feat at a young age.

What do you think is the hardest part of writing?

Finding where to explain things, such as appearance, location, lore etc. I know all of it, I just find it hard to say all I need to without it being an info dump haha

If you could give your younger self some writing advice, what would it be?

STOP GOING ON DAMN HIATUSES GIRL

What kind of research do you do for your WIP?

I do a little research on physics (such as how lifts work) and injuries but most of it is how things look steampunk style since there’s a slight hint at that in my novel.

How many hours a week do you write?

It depends on how much university work I have to do (I study online), whether I’m travelling and how much energy I have. Probably 10 hours tops a week but sometimes I’ll do nothing.

How long do you wait before you begin editing your first draft?

Six weeks, unless I know I’ve made a major booboo niggling in my head. Then I’ll resolve that and leave the rest.

What are your personal ethics when it comes to writing?

I’m not 100% sure I’ve gotten this question right but my stories are quite dark, although not explicitly so. My characters go through a tonne of crap in all honesty, although for the reader, it isn’t as bad.

Do you recycle old ideas or abandon them?

Recycle. I’ve already decided to use the first line of a Fan Fiction I wrote in 2014 later on in the Mastery series.

Which character is your favourite and why?

I tend to shift my favourite character based on what book I’m writing.

In book 1 of the series, it’s Roman. He’s a bit of a mystery to the others and they’re not sure how to react to him, but he’s just a cute little idealist in a world of pessimists.

In book 2, it’s Rylan. Some of his lines are my favourite I’ve written so far.

In book 3, it’s Jonathon. His personality is one of the most animated in the series and his back and current stories are some of the most complex I’ve made. One chapter I’ve written in his POV is one of my favourites too.

What do you love most about your favourite character from your WIP?

 Again, I’ll answer with the same characters.

Roman: He’s an absolute sweetheart despite being surrounded by salty assholes and continues his precious ways even when they insult him for them

Rylan: He’s private and little is revealed about him. But he’s intelligent and could easily become a much worse villain if he wanted to. Dangerous boi.

Jonathon: Kind of like Roman, he’s an optimist despite everything that’s happened to him. And boy, does he have an angsty af backstory.

What would you consider success for your current WIP?

The fact I’m still working on it nearly 10 years later

If you were stuck on a deserted island, which one of your characters would you bring with you?

I guess it’d have to be Sebastian. He’s rude quite a lot of the time but really resourceful. 

What would your characters’ day jobs be in real life? And if your WIP is set on Earth, which jobs would be most fitting for them and why?

Ooooh I love this question! I do have a lot of characters to answer with though and since this is the sort of thing I love imagining, I’m doing it with a huge bunch of ‘em haha

Alex is into the arts and only joined the Protectionary Guard as he didn’t see his art career going anywhere. So if he could make do with his art, he’d do that.

Sebastian would be in some sort of detective agency. One where he’d be able to kick ass. Then he’d get sacked for inappropriate behaviour and become a Martial Arts instructor or something along those lines.

Miriam would do something in the medical profession, but something less people-based. She’d be the sort to sit in a lab all day studying concoctions.

Aiden would have a normal office job during the day (knowing his family, it’d be he’s the heir to a company) and then volunteer as a cubs/scouts leader in the evenings.

Noah would work in IT, probably programming.

Cyrus builds motorbikes to fit in with his idealisms of escape, so he’d be into a travel-related career, such as travel writing/blogging, doing affiliate marketing and writing e-books to earn an income. Maybe an e-commerce store. While he isn’t the brightest, he’s a hard-worker.

Roman is training to be a lawyer and I can see him doing that in a Earth AU as well. 

Phineas would be a librarian or a teacher for older students, probably a university lecturer or something like that, for a social science or language.

Dimitri would be a business owner, one of those really dickish ones.

Luka would probably be in Dimitri’s business, grumbling about his boss every ten seconds saying how he plans to make a rival business when he has enough money.

Rylan lowkey loves fashion and textiles and so I can see him working in a dinky little sewing shop and then selling stuff on Etsy or something along those lines as a side hustle.

Meline would be a professional athlete, probably in tennis since that’s her usual sport.

Jonathon would be the sort to make documentaries out in the wilderness and would take bets on whether he’ll survive doing stuff. He always does, and yet he still has people paying him. Witty prick.

Romulus would drive lorries. They’re similar to, but less interesting, his airships.

Who of your OC’s would break first under high pressure or under psychological manipulation/torture?

It’d be between Miriam and Aiden, depending on how personal the manipulation is. More distant? Aiden. More personal? Miriam.

Would you sacrifice your favourite character if it meant getting published? (As in would you remove them from the book as a condition set by the publisher?)

(I’m doing main instead of favourite okie dokie) Alex would be a nosiree no way whereas I think it’d be easier for me to part with Phoenix and Eirik. I’d still be reluctant though.

What is your go-to scene? (For example, I tend to open my books with the weather forecast to set the atmosphere before going to the characters and actions happening at that time)

A fight with a fairly unimportant antagonist. I always start my POV chapters with a certain style. Miriam’s is questions, Alex’s is dialogue, Phoenix’s is a long drone and Eirik’s is short sentences.

What is your least favourite genre to write in and why?

Contemporary as I get pretty bored. Where’s the death and fighting?

Which author would you like to trade styles with for a single book?

Me, but a good author. If you find out who that is, tell me please.

What was the weirdest thing that inspired a scene/character/story/name/place/etc.?

Miriam’s surname is after my dog as they both have amber eyes (Arnie -> Arnette)

Which POV is your favourite to write in and how do you choose which one to use for a certain WIP?

I prefer writing in first person! If it’s character arc-based then I will use first but if it’s more plot-based I will use third.

What style of writing do you prefer? Simple language, something more poetic, or something else?

I prefer simple but tend to have a philosophical main character so it ends up being a blend once you get to know the character

What’s your pet peeve when it comes to writing - the thing that would make you insta-toss the book?

The main character is a Mary Sue/Gary Stu

What’s your favourite cliché?

If you’re talking about technique, it’ll be rule of three. If you’re talking about plot cliché’s, it’s enemies to lovers/besties.

Which of your OCs would you want to hang out with in real life? Conversely, who would you not touch with a 10-foot pole?

I’d like to hang out with Roman! I’d say we’re similar enough in personality to get along.

Lawrence can LEAVE.

What’s your favourite type of character? (I have a weird thing for anti-heroes and geniuses)

Gonna have to agree with the brackets ;)

Which story do you wish you could have written (can be a novel, movie, game, etc.)

1984 or any good alternate futures. I’m a sucker for this genre so if you have recommendations please tell me.

Which of your OCs just absolutely eludes your comprehension? Like no matter what you do, you just can’t figure them out?

Kristoph.

What are you most proud of when it comes to your writing? Can be a character, a concept/world, even your style of writing.

Being able to come up with a complex plot and keeping track of it without having to write it all down.

Which of your stories do you think would make an awesome movie?

I think Experimentation would be more popular but I’d love to see Schadenfreude as a film!

Lastly (since we all do this), name an OC and your dream casting for them.

You’re wrong, buddy chum pal. I don’t do this.

I don’t watch films or series so know literally no actors bar the really famous ones.

-

To be honest, my creativeness isn’t working at all so for those who I tag, I’m going to let you pick out 10 of your favourites from the questions above. And the three people I’m going to tag are: @westywrites, @ahotpeaceofshit and @thel3tterm!