#XOXOXOXOX/P

[stat1c-flair]

Happy birthday to the coolest girl @cappless

Thank you for sticking by me, your such a gal ily

[auteurdelabre]

Please, Mister Miller Sequel: Part 6 BFD!Joel x f!Reader

words: 18k (yeah. That's right)

summary: It's Graduation Day and your parents are here... so is Joel...so is an unexpected visitor.

tags/warnings: age gap, infidelity mentioned, p in v, unprotected sex, angst, fluff, namecalling (slut, good girl, sweet girl), oral sex (f receiving), Daddy-kink in parts, public-ish sex, voyeurism, mentions of childhood trauma, shitty parents, clothes ripping, lovingmaking, reader has hair Joel can grab.

a/n: over 18,000 words on this fuckin' monster. If I don't get some damn good reviews I'm gonna riot. In other news, FUCK the next chapter is gonna be a goddam monster too... unless I break it into 2. We'll see. What do you wanna see happen?

masterlist here

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You wake on graduation day with a knot in your stomach and you know exactly why. The text you received last night. You pick up your phone, eyes scanning the brief message and sighing deeply.

[MOM]Just got in. See you at the ceremony tomorrow. Be sure to wear the dress. 

You look over at that ridiculous dress, a totem of innocence and purity and you want to laugh. Innocent? Pure? What a joke. If only she knew the photos of Joel you have on your phone, or the absolutely depraved things you’ve done with him.  

As if you’ve summoned him, a text comes through.

 [HIM 💜] Can’t wait to see you, bby.

You smile at your phone.  You can almost hear his deep voice, the rasping purr.

Can’t wait to see you! xoxoxoxox

Though after the stress of seeing my parents I’m gonna need a massage.

[HIM 💜] Deep tissue? Swedish? Internal?

Oooh Deep Tissue followed by internal please. Lol.

Sarah wakes soon after positively vibrating with excitement. 

"I can't wait to see Charlie!" She shouts, jumping up out of bed. "And I can't wait to travel this summer!"

You force a smile but you can't deny you're envious about Sarah's summer. Yours is bound to be a solitary one living back with your parents.  You need to get a job back home to help pay for school in the fall.

Perhaps Joel will come and visit you back home once in a while? Or perhaps tonight will be your last rendezvous? It's hard to think of how it can continue, despite what Joel says. He can't exactly come over and meet the parents can he? And your parents will likely have a very close hold on you, wanting to introduce you to the right people, trying to convince you to switch your Masters degree for something more profitable.

Despite how well off your parents are they have made it clear from the start that you'll make your own way in the world. But that’s fine by you because you have scholarships and you’re a hard worker. Living at home means saving up money. Saving up money means moving out away from them.

But until then, it’s long, solitary days back in Chicago with your family.

Sarah gives a stretch before falling onto your bed with an oof. She sits, knees touching yours and smiling broadly.

“We’re almost graduates!”

“I know!”

And funnily enough out of everything with your parents, it’s not that which upsets you the most. It’s the fact that will be no Sarah to look forward to in the fall. No more giggled nights over cheap beer or joined study sessions helping the other make flash cards.

She’s become a touchstone to you. A person whose Snapchat's and text messages through the summers made life bearable when your parents were too much for you. Whose soup delivered to your beside during sick days at school made you feel taken care of. The roommate who dragged you to parties to make you socialize and subsequently introduced you to Conrad, who for a short while made you very happy.

Without Sarah you don’t know who you would be today.

"I'm going to miss you so much," Sarah says gently, her large eyes teary. 

"Same here," you say, trying to swallow the tremor in your voice.

"I can't believe we're just gonna suddenly not live together," she says, chin wobbling and the sight of it makes it impossible to stop the tears that slip down your cheeks. 

“I know,” you say and now the tears are free flowing and the words you’ve never voiced come out wobbly. “I’ve never had a friend like you. A best friend.”

Sarah lets out a choked sob and the two of you collapse into a sniffling hug that makes your heart swell. You finally pull back long enough to brush the tears from your eyes, the two of you laughing at how emotional you both are. 

"You're gonna be traveling all over South America all summer," you remind her with a watery smile. "You won't have time to miss me."

"I will so!" Sarah insists with a friendly push to your shoulder. “I’m gonna get you something really nice too!”

When you put on the white dress later that morning you're struck that you're the vision of chaste. The lace sleeves, the ruffles, the high neckline. It gratifies you greatly when you pull on the most scandalous panties you own, red completely see through. They tie at the hips and they barely cover anything. 

You pull them up over your hips and lower the dress over them. The fabric is so thick they can't be seen, but you will. 

And soon Joel will too. 

///

By the time the ceremony starts hours later you're almost shaking with nerves under your robe and mortarboard. The rasp of the dresses ruffles at the shoulder make you twitch. 

Sarah is seated next to you, her eyes scanning behind you. You know she's looking for Joel and Charlie. You already spotted your parents near the back of the large auditorium looking as dour and bored as they always have. 

"Oop there he is!" Sarah murmurs as the Provost drones on at the podium. You glance at her before you allow your eyes to drift in the direction she's looking. And there he is, seated beside a beaming Charlie, is Joel. 

Your Joel. 

He's so handsome you could cry. His hair is longer and curled, looking so soft you want to leap out of your seat to run your fingers through it. He's wearing a button down and he's grinning at both you and Sarah. When she turns around to face the speaker Joel casts you a sly wink that has you flushing. 

You feel his eyes on you through most of the ceremony, and when you go up after to collect your diploma you hear his clapping and shouting of your name over the crowd. To anyone else he looks like the supportive parent of his daughter’s friend. But when you cast your eyes into the crowd and see his beaming smile, you feel the pride from where you stand on the stage.

Soon enough the ceremony is over and you and Sarah are official graduates. You give her a tight hug after you toss your caps into the air. You both give yelps as the caps fly around you, laughing as you find yours before handing her the one next to it on the ground. 

"Gonna go find my dad," she tells you as you give her one final squeeze. You nod watching her rush through the bustling array of people in search of the man you cannot wait to hold and kiss.You slip through the crowd until you find your parents still seated and looking at the passing crowds with distaste. 

You take a deep breath, swallowing before you approach them with a tentative smile.

"Hello Mom, Dad." 

The two of them stand simultaneously, giving you a once over before your mother gives you a detached embrace. She’s likely trying to see if you’re wearing the dress she insisted upon. Your father pats your shoulder companionably.

"Congratulations," he tells you with a thin smile. "Graduation with honors."

"Thank you," you say, surprised with the compliment. 

"Not valedictorian," he reminds you quickly. "But I suppose there was lots of competition."

Your mother says nothing and you just nod, wanting this interaction to be over as quickly as possible. You notice now that your father is holding a small wooden box with a bow on it. He thrusts it at you.

"Take this and be sure to take care of it."

"Yes sir," you nod, taking the small box from him. You open it up to see an ornate fountain pen sitting on the velvet. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

It’s hideous and nothing like your style. You don’t even write by hand anymore unless it’s for the word jumble. Just another example of how little your parents know about you.

"We'll go to dinner," your mother tells you. "Afterwards we'll collect your things and you can come to the hotel with us. Our flight is first thing in the morning."

“Oh, I thought I was going to spend one more night here at the dorms,” you say, a bit of panic coursing through you. “To finish up packing and everything.”

That had been the plan. You and Joel would have dinner with your families and then meet up at the hotel he sent you. You can’t do that if you’re with your fucking parents at some fancy hotel near the airport.

“That’s a waste of time and I don’t want to be late for the airport,” your mother says with a frown. “You were to have finished packing last night.”

“I underestimated how much I had to pack,” you defer, trying not to sound as concerned as you feel. “I’ll take a taxi to the airport early tomorrow, I promise. I won’t hold you up.”

Your mother goes to deny this request but your father holds up a hand, making her flinch.

“If she’s paying for her taxi who are we to tell her no?” your father says with a shrug. “Let her.”

Your mother silently stews, shaking her head in a short nod. This entire scene is simply a precursor to what awaits you this summer. Their strained marriage, your strained relationship with them. It’s a nightmare.

Moving back home feels both terrifying and humiliating all in one. You hated being under their thumb, but you can't afford rent and school. And despite what they say, you want to pursue your schooling. It makes you happy. It's a small sacrifice to secure your future. 

You nod, head held low. It jerks up when you hear your name being called. You glance over your shoulder. 

Fuck. 

You feel your anxiety grow when Sarah, Charlie and Joel approach. 

'I'm so glad that's over!" Sarah says with a laugh. "I don't want to think about how many people wore this gown before me."

You smirk at this before turning to your grim -faced parents. 

"You know Sarah," you say to your them, noting that Joel hangs back a moment, watching the scene. 

"Of course, hello Sarah," your mom says as your dad gives a tight smile to your roommate. They've seen Sarah plenty of times in the background of your sporadic video calls home.

"This is her boyfriend, Charlie," you say and the shy Charlie offers a timid wave in reply. Your father is looking over Charlie, noting the slump of his shoulders, the shy way he doesn’t make eye contact. You’re positive they’ll have something scathing to say about him during dinner.

You notice Joel staring at you and then your parents. You try to hold back the flush starting at your cheekbones. His hands are at his side and he finally approaches the group, his eyes on your parents.

"Uh, and this is her dad, Mister Miller," you say softly, unable to make eye contact with him. For some pathetic reason you want this to go well. You want them to love Joel as much as you do.

"It's Joel, sir, ma'am," Joel says, all southern manners as he shakes each of their hands. He brushes by you to do so and you can't help but inhale his cologne, dark and spicy.

"Pleasure to meet you," your mother says with a quick once over of what Joel's wearing. When she sees no obvious designer labels you can tell she's already written him off. 

Your dad however is intrigued by Joel's appearance, being the only other man in a group of women. He gravitates towards Joel with a little smile on his face. 

"So what do you do, Joel?"

"I run a renovation business with my brother," Joel answers with an easy smile that shows his dimple. You melt. He’s so fucking gorgeous. Your father gives a look of clear disapproval at his answer. 

"Just the two of you?" 

 "Ten years ago it was just the two of us and now we oversee a staff of twenty," Joel answers breezily able to overlook your father's open judgment.  He’s a humble man, not one prone to bragging. But you know what he’s trying to do, to disarm your parents, to make them like him. And the thought of why he’s doing that has your stomach spinning delightedly.

"Self made man, I respect that," your dad says nodding and you have to stop yourself so you don't beam with pride over at Joel. 

"S'how I was raised," Joel shrugs with humility. 

"Same here," your dad says with an approving nod. "Built up my law firm from nothing. Now we're one of the biggest in Chicago."

"Impressive," Joel says even though you know he couldn't care less.

His eyes dart to you briefly before landing back on your father. He’s likely noticing how different you are from your parents. They’re all cold, serious calculation while you are smiles and blushes and easy affection.

"Wish you boyfriend took a page for Joel's book here," your dad says with a look in your direction. "That Conrad was raised with a silver spoon firmly lodged in his mouth."

The smile you had on your face falls immediately. You feel your hackles rise up when it feels like all eyes suddenly drift over to you.

Why are they still bringing up Conrad?

"Conrad and I broke up months ago."

"That's what you said at Christmas too," your mother says with a sniff, digging through her purse for her lipstick. "Then by January it was on again."

Your jaw clenches tightly. This is a classic family maneuver, making you feel insecure in your decisions.

"I'm sure you two will find yourselves back in each other's arms soon enough," your father says not bothering to hide his displeasure at the thought. He covers it with a false laugh that your mother smiles politely at.

"I can promise you I won't," you say with a tone bordering on a growl. You're just thankful you haven't seen Conrad at graduation all day. 

"I sure hope not," Joel murmurs surprising you all. Even Sarah glances over at this in surprise and you feel Joel's panic. His eyes widen a fraction before his mouth curls into a displeased line and he shrugs.

"Just from what I heard from Sarah I think you deserve much better."

Sarah shoots you an apologetic expression to which you reply with an an embarrassed half shrug. You’re not upset that she talks about you with him. If anything it’s sort of sweet.

"Anyway I better be gettin,' Sarah and Charlie here out to dinner," Joel says taking your hand in his a moment. "Happy graduation to you."

You feel your heart flutter, willing the blush in your cheeks to die down. 

"Thanks, Mister Miller."

He gives you a subtle wink before bidding farewell to your parents. Sarah pulls you in for another tight hug. 

"Promise me you'll come out and visit me when I get back."

Your eyes fly to Joel behind her shoulder for only a moment before you're nodding and smiling back at her.

"Definitely."

“If she’s not busy playing around in school that is,” your father laughs from behind you before turning his attention on your roommate. “Sarah, you were studying… what again?”

“Computer Sciences,” Sarah answers hesitantly.

“A good career path,” your dad continues, despite everyone in the vicinity being uncomfortable. “Much better than Anthropology. Might as well be Philosophy for all the decent paying jobs it’ll get you.”

Your eyes are wet before you can stop them. You cringe visibly, gaze on the ground as they always are when your parents are around. They have the uncanny ability to make you feel so impossibly worthless, so misunderstood, so unseen for who you truly are. 

You can’t even look at Joel you’re so ashamed. You must look so pathetic to everyone.

"Sarah why don't you and Charlie go get the car," Joel murmurs to her with a gentle smile as he hands her the keys to his rental car. "I'll be there in a sec." 

Sarah shoots her dad an inscrutable look before shrugging and taking Charlie's hand and Joel's keys. She casts a worried look at your face before she breaks from your group. You watch them disappear into the crowd before your eyes draw back to Joel and suddenly the levity from his face is gone. 

He steps towards your parents, dropping his voice. This is a Joel you rarely run into. An angry Joel that’s quiet voice is more terrifying than a shout or scream. The quieter he gets the more nervous you become and right now his voice is a soft purr.

"Now I'm normally not one to tell a man how to speak to his kid, but you're being downright shameful to yours."

Your stomach swoops in both elation and terror. You want to kiss Joel senseless for sticking up for you, but seeing your dad's brows rise has you staring between both of them in shock. 

“What did you just say?” your father asks, convinced he’s heard incorrectly.

“I said you're talkin’ to your daughter shamefully,” Joel says speaking slowly and enunciating as if your father is slow. Your mother gives a small gasp at this, her hand going to your father’s shoulder. He shakes it off, his face pinking all over as he glares at Joel.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Your dad seethes. 

Your dad takes a step towards Joel, used to people backing down from him at work. But this isn't his law office and Joel has a good three inches on him, not to mention biceps and broad shoulders that would easily pummel your father to dust. 

He pauses when Joel steps forward as well, your boyfriend not backing down a fraction. 

"Sarah's known your girl for years and we had the pleasure of having her to ours this Christmas," Joel tells your father, looking thunderous. "She's a delight."

"Not so delightful for her parents," your mother chimes in. "You wouldn't understand Mister Miller. Your daughter clearly has ambitions and-"

"And yours doesn't?" Joel bites back. "Sarah told me she wants to be a professor." 

Sarah told him no such thing. It was you who told him during your time together. He looks over at you, concerned that he got that incorrect. 

"That right?"

"Yeah," you nod, trying not to smile. Joel looks back at your parents and his gaze turns cold again. 

"'Side from that, your daughter is smart and talented and funny as hell," Joel sneers at your parents. "And that's nothing compared to her warmth and her heart. And now that I've met you both I don't know where the fuck she got that from."

You are officially fucking Joel Miller's brains out later. Right after you stop the tears pricking the back of your eyes. 

"She doesn't need people like you in her life," Joel continues and you know he's saying this part for your benefit despite glaring at your parents. "She's a strong, independent woman that doesn't need anythin' other than herself. And if you both don't get your heads straight, she's gonna walk right outta your life and never look back and it’ll be your loss." 

Your parents can only stare at him and your father, always so quick with a harsh comment or jab is silent. His face is so red it's almost mauve. His hands are at fists at his side. Your mother looks like she's about to faint. 

You however feel as if your heart is overflowing with your love for Joel in this moment. 

Joel turns his eyes on you and you pray no one can see the burning passion he holds for you in that gaze because it seems so obvious to you. 

"You wanna grab dinner with us?" Joel asks you, jaw clenched. You know he desperately wants to hold you, to bring you into his arms. 

"No it's okay," you tell him with a gentle smile. "You have fun with Sarah and Charlie."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

You see the concern in his dark eyes, the searing depths of his affection. But he's aware that you know your own mind and so he just nods, giving you a small smirk before he's heading away from you. 

"Take care." 

The second he's out of earshot your parents are tripping over themselves to talk. 

"That rude man!"

"Uneducated idiot."

"Did you see what he was wearing? And the way he spoke? Positively barbaric," your mother spits, readjusting the purse on her shoulder and shooting you a levelling look. 

Joel’s broad shoulders are disappearing into the crowd, but as if he can feel your gaze he turns. He sees your eyes searching for him and he darts his gaze to your parents, seeing they’re both facing you. He gives you a gentle smile and wink and then he’s gone, leaving you warm and strangely emboldened.

"I don't want you anywhere near that family." 

You turn to face your parents who are still fuming about Joel and for some reason you suddenly see them for what they truly are.

Small. 

Joel made them small. So small that it seems foolish you were ever afraid of them at all. So small that is laughable to think that they have any control over your life. You owe them nothing. They give you nothing but pain and a love that is built on toxicity.

And suddenly it's so easy to sever that tie between you and them. 

"Enough about that horrible man," your father grumbles. "Dinner reservations are-"

"I'm going back to my dorm," you inject with a smile, feeling strangely light. "You two enjoy dinner."

"Excuse me?" Your father is exasperated with everything that has gone on. You see it in the tired look he’s giving you. “Since when?”

"I don't want to have dinner with you," you tell them, unable to stop your smiling from growing. "Either of you. So you two go on. Enjoy." 

You've never spoken back to them like this. Never with this serene calm, this positively cheerful countenance. You feel your phone vibrate in your purse and you just know it’s a message from Joel. The thought makes it even easier to stand there staring them down.

Your parents gape at you as the crowd of students mills past, looking at your beaming face. It's your father that speaks first. 

"This disrespect you're showing your mother and I is disgusting," he spits. "Your sister-"

"Heather isn't here," you tell them so sharply they wince. "And I'm sick of being compared to her."

You've never mentioned Heather’s name to them. Not in all the years since your sisters death. You've felt too guilty, too scared.

But no more. 

"Hey now," your dad begins, his face falling. "We never-"

"I'll never be Heather and that's fine because I'm me," you say over him. "And I don't need the two of you trying to tell me that's a bad thing." 

They both stare at you, your mother's jaw is actually dropped, almost cartoonishly so. You realize that this is it between you and them. They brought you into the world and they've made you regret it ever since. They’ve punished you for surviving that car crash instead of Heather. You're done with them. 

You thrust the pen and the wooden box it came in back at your father. He takes it in slow shock, as if what's happening is a dream.

"So go enjoy your dinner," you tell them. "And have a safe trip back."

You take the phone from your purse as you stride from them. They call your name but you ignore them, your eyes are already on the text from Joel. 

[HIM 💜]: Same hotel as last time. Room #461. Give your name at the front desk. Come when you can. Can’t wait to hold you, beautiful girl.

///

You sit at the bar of the hotel a short while later. Your overnight bag is at your feet and you're still wearing that stupid dress front your parents because you wanted to rush over here. You'd been so desperate to see Joel, to feel his arms around you, his mouth on your flesh. 

But then as you strode into the hotel and saw the trendy looking bar you decided that a drink was necessary. A celebration for how you stood up to your parents. And then something Joel said months ago tickled the back of your brain. A comment that has stayed with you. 

“Do you think we could pretend for this week? That I'm not married, that you're not my daughter's friend? That we met in a bar one night and found each other attractive and just wanted to spend time together gettin' to know one another?”

You smile as you sit at the bar; legs crossing before you order a gin martini from the bored looking bartender. You pull out your phone, typing hurriedly amongst the chatting patrons and jazzy music over the speakers.

I’m at the bar downstairs.

[HIM 💜] ??

Come down. Dress nice. Xx

Joel walks into the dimly lit bar minutes later, his eyes traveling the length of the space until they get to your face. The smile that breaks out nearly makes you faint at the sight. But you maintain your composure, pretending you don’t notice him until he’s right beside you.

He’s so close you can smell his freshly applied aftershave and the soap he used to wash this morning

“Hey bab-“

"That seat is free for now,” you say coolly pointing to the leather stool next to you. Joel gives you a confused smile, crooked and endearing.

“Huh?”

“Look like my date is running late," you tell him in a flat voice, taking a sip of your drink.

Joel looks a bit offended at your cool tone and lack of smile.

"But perhaps you could keep me company until he arrives."

Joel's mouth curves into a smirk as he catches onto the little game. His eyes dip down the length of your body before he backs up a few paces. He adopts a more seductive look, his eyelids lowering a fraction.  

"Hello there, my name's Joel Miller," he replies in a husky purr as he takes the seat next to you at the bar. "And you are quite possibly the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen."

"I accept the compliment Mister Miller," you say with a calm nod, trying not to giggle at the characters you're both playing. You want to play this out as long as possible. There’s something hot about the people around you not knowing you two are together.  

"Call me Joel," he replies gently. He holds his hand to you and you take it, noting how warm his tender grip is, how sweetly he rubs your knuckles with his thumb before gently dropping your hand when you pull back.

"Alright Joel," you reply breathlessly. “Pleased to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Joel assures you, eyes raking up and down your form before settling on your eyes. “Pardon me for sayin’, but your date is a fool to let a woman as gorgeous as you sit here alone for more than a second."

“Quite forward of you,” you say with a cool raise of your brow, trying to suppress your smirk. The bartender comes over and takes Joel’s order, quickly sliding him a whisky before going to attend to the other patrons.

“So what’s a beautiful woman like you do for fun?”  Joel inquires, taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh I haven’t had much time for fun. My day today was especially taxing," you tell him, swirling the toothpick and olive in your martini glass in what you hope is a seductive manner. 

"Oh yeah?" Joel is practically purring. "Tell me all about it."

"Well, first off, I graduated with honors today."

Joel gives an impressed whistle as if he’s not completely aware. "Sexy and smart? Damn, baby, you're somethin' else."

You grin, feeling your cheeks pink in delight.  

"Then my parents started in on me right after the ceremony," you say rolling your eyes. "And just when I was gonna fall apart, my boyfriend just let them have it. He told them off. I've never seen anything like it. My parents just stood there and it was so inspiring that when he left, I told them off too."

"Really?" Joel breathes, his face midway between concern and amusement. 

"Mhmm. And it felt amazing. So amazing that I wanted to come to this bar and celebrate." You give Joel a sultry look. "Then you came up to me and well, here we are."

Joel smirks cheekily and you feel his hand come to the back of your bar seat.  

"Can I tell you somethin’?" Joel asks, lowering his voice so you have to tilt closer to hear. His full lower lip grazes your earlobe when he speaks. "Every man in this bar is hoping you'll go home with him."

He pulls back, his pupils expanding rapidly. You let your hand fall to his knee, rubbing gently as you give him a grin.

"Oh, I'm very discerning," you say coquettishly. "I won't go home with just any man. He has to be the right type. Older, handsome, smart, sweet... The whole package."

You watch Joel's golden cheeks turn pink at the compliment. He takes a deep pull off his whisky. He leans back in his bar stool, looking at you tenderly.

"So Miss Genius who graduated with honors. What's next for you?"

"I'm starting my Masters in the fall," you say with a proud smile as if Joel wasn't already aware. "Got a really good scholarship too. Just have to work a bit too save up for the rest."

"How're you gonna do that when you're in school?" Joel takes another sip. 

"Oh, it's all online," you tell him as you drain your own glass. "A lot of them are now with everyone's schedules and how hard it is to make ends meet."

"It is?" Joel says and you can tell he's dropped a bit of the act. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah I needed it to be online so I can work at the same time," you explain, then your brow furrows as something occurs to you. Joel notices immediately.

"What?"

"Oh it's just... I just realized I also need to find a place to rent," you say more to yourself than anything. The character you've embodied slips away from you and you blink rapidly." My parents sure as fuck won't be welcoming me back with open arms after what I said to them. And even if they did I don't want anything from them."

Joel looks at you a long time, his fingers tracing absently along the bar top. He looks like he wants to say something but he holds back. 

"But that's not exactly first meeting in a bar kind of talk," you say, lowering your hand to fall atop his and you let your voice drop to a seductive purr. "Tell me about yourself." 

“Whadda ya wanna know, beautiful?”

You cross your legs the other direction, facing him more. You notice his eyes flit to your bared legs and then back to your face.

“Well your accent isn’t from around here so what brings you to our fine city, Joel?”

“Here to watch my daughter graduate,” Joel says with a gentle swirl of his drink. “I’m from Texas.”

“You got anyone special in your life, Texas?”

“I do,” Joel nods, eyes like burning coals. “This girl I’ve been seein’ that I’m just crazy about. Can't get her outta my head."

"The sex must be great," you giggle with cheeks flaming. 

"No words," Joel admits with a dimpled grin. "But s'not the sex that does it for me."

"No?"

"Nah," Joel shakes his head. "See, she's real smart. Startin' a Master's degree in the fall."

"Wow."

"She's not just smart," Joel shrugs, taking another pull from the bottle. "She's gorgeous too. Fuckin’ stunning."

He watches your eyes drift to his collar, suddenly shy. This emboldens him, makes him lean closer again until his whisky-soaked breath lands in huffs against your cheek.

"I miss how she smells," Joel continues. "I never told her this but I went to the mall and got a bottle of the perfume she wears. I spray it on my pillow from time to time just to make it feel like she’s there." 

"You do not!"

"I do," Joel chuckles. "Never smells the same as when she wears it though." 

Shit, you can feel your eyes watering.

"And when I talk to her she's the first person who's really listened. She doesn't just nod and wait for her turn to speak. She's the first partner that's ever really wanted to take care of me." 

Partner.

"You're easy to take care of," you murmur. "I assume," you add hastily, not wanting to break character. 

"So's she," Joel tells you and his face sobers. "The kinda woman I would die to take care of. But I worry. I'm pretty old-"

"Not old-"

"And she's got a whole future in front of her,” Joel says and the levity is gone from his face. “I worry I’d hold her back from it. Hold her back from a lot.”

It takes all your resolve not to throw yourself into his arms right this second. Instead you give him an impossibly gentle smile, leaning your face closer to his.

“You said this woman is smart,” you reason, feeling your pulse flutter. “I think she knows exactly what she wants. And from what it sounds like, she wants you, Joel.”

Joel gazes at you a few moments, his finger absently tracing the rim of his whisky glass.

"You know you're a beautiful woman," he murmurs in a sultry tone, his eyes lowering seductively. "And this may be forward but I'm staying at this hotel and I'd love to take you to my room." 

You smile.

"I'd love that, Joel."

///

You’re in each other’s arms seconds after opening the door to your room. Joel crashes his mouth against your and you leap into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He licks into your mouth as he stumbles the two of you towards the bed.

He lowers you gently to the floor, giving a lingering kiss to you before the ruffles of your dress rasping against his shirt distract him.  

“Such an innocent looking girl in this dress,” Joel muses, his wide hands sliding down the white fabric as he smiles. “Who’re you tryin’ to fool, baby?”

“I didn’t pick it,” you huff a laugh. “They did.”

The amusement is immediately gone from Joel’s face. Without warning Joel’s hands are at the neckline of your dress. You frown up at him before gasping as he rips the fabric brutally. It tears down the middle, exposing your breasts.

“Joel!”

He turns you around, ripping the skirt from it as well. You’re left in tatters of fabric and you watch as ruffles hit the carpet slowly before looking up at him and laughing. He grins at you, throwing some of the remaining lace fabric in his hands onto the floor.

“Joel,” you laugh loudly. “What the fuck?”

“You don’t have to wear what they tell you to ever again,” he promises you. “You don’t have to listen to another goddam thing they say. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.  You’re your own woman. And when I take you to bed I’m fucking you, sweet girl. Not some virginal doll version of you that they’ve created in their heads.”

You shiver in anticipation as you feel his warm body behind you, still clothed. You feel Joel’s hands come to your waist, holding you.

“My good girl fucks like a champ,” Joel whispers against your ear. “And she loves my cock doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” you sigh.  

“She likes fucking in public,” Joel continues, hands coming to cup your breasts from behind. You feel his hips rubbing against your lower back, cock hard and waiting for you. “She gets wet bein’ a bad girl.”

“Fuck, I do,” you whimper, letting Joel take control of your movements as you go boneless against him. “I really do.”

“That’s who I’m taking to bed,” Joel reminds you, pulling the remaining tatters of your clothing off your body until you’re standing in nothing but the red panties you picked out. His eyes are drawn to them, a smirk bleeding over his face.

“And look at that,” he says as his hands slip down the front. “She’s already wet for me.”

“Always.”

He kneels in front of you and unties your panties at the hip, groaning appreciatively as they flutter to the ground. You’re naked before him, and you feel his eyes take in every square inch of flesh. You hear his clothes fall to the ground in a rustling heap.

His mouth is on your pussy before you even register what he's doing. You feel your body tensing before his large hands come to hold your thighs in place.

"Such a pretty pussy," he groans, delving deeper between your folds. You feel your legs begin to tremble. He begins giving you exquisitely probing kisses between your thighs, chuckling when you begin to tremor.

"Please Joel," you beg quietly. "I need your cock."

He gently ushers you to the bed onto your belly before bracketing your hips with his thighs. Joel's fingers move to the back of your neck, curled into your hair. He moves it up, out of the way so he can press long kisses to the bare flesh of your neck. 

"My girl loves gettin’ fucked," Joel grunts out above you. "Ain't nothin' virginal about her." 

He groans against your shoulder as he slides into you, hips slowly pressing against the swell of your ass. You sigh, allowing yourself to be pressed into the mattress. You’ve missed this. And judging by his poorly stifled moans, Joel has missed it too.

"Such a good girl," Joel coos, coating himself in your copious arousal. "She missed me."

"Uh huh," you whimper out because all of you has missed Joel. Not just your body but your heart, your mind. You can hear him smile behind you as you thrust yourself back on his length.  

"Such a pretty girl," Joel murmurs as he pulls out and then slowly pushes himself in again. He kisses the top of your spine, tongue trailing over your flesh as you moan below him. Your wrists are held by him, resting at your lower back. Your face is tilted, cheek on the sheets as you moan, your vision growing blurry. 

You can only writhe under him, body flailing with pleasured arches. Silent screams to keep going to go deeper. Nothing is rushed, everything is tempered and slow and deep. He fills you up so fucking well, so achingly patient.

"She likes having this pretty pussy full 'a me," Joel says as if he has to remind you. "Don't you, baby?"

"Yes yes yes."

"Look at you," he marvels as he stares at you. His free hand slides down your spine, petting you like a cat. You smile drunkenly over your shoulder, watching his hips flexing as he continues to drive himself into you. "You need more, honey?"

You can only give a weak nod, going down on your forearms, presenting yourself to Joel to use. 

"Yeah, she needs it harder," Joel murmurs, you feel him flexing, cock sliding through your folds as you whine brokenly. Your head falls forward as your face screws up, brows saddling. Joel’s hot breath is at your ear, his voice a husky purr.

“What do you think your parents would say, knowin’ I’m balls deep in their sweet, innocent girl?” Joel murmurs, tongue coming to trace the shell of your earlobe. “What would they say knowing how you sucked my cock and begged for my come that first time?”

Your body twitches in arousal at that.

“What would they say if they knew their precious little girl was on my camera covered in my come an’ callin’ me Daddy?”

Joel continues to move so slowly within you, extending the pleasure to an almost unbearable level as he glides in and out of your drooling cunt. Joel's fingers begin to circle your clit as his cock thrusts into you.  

"Baby," you offer, voice sluggish. "You feel so fucking good."

"Naw sweet girl," Joel says running his nose against your cheek. "That's you. You make me feel so goddam good." 

You know what he's not saying and it's not just the sex. That being together feels good. That clinging to one another feels good. That just existing in this moment with each other feels so fucking good.

"Needed this cock didn't you?” Joel asks, hips starting to rock into you with more abandon. "Needed me to take care of you."

His hips are slapping against your ass now, making your eyes cheat to the back of your head. The slapping sound is so visceral, so overtly sexual.

"Yes," you manage to articulate.

"Needed my come?" 

You can't even answer that, you just let your eyes shut and feel as the climax courses through your body, making you cry out in broken sounds as Joel fucks into you. You milk his cock as you come down, body boneless. Joel continues, his hips driving forward over and over until-

-a knock at the door sounds.

You hear Joel curse behind you, his body stuttering to a stop. You give a high whine, head twisting to see him over your shoulder. His face is red, his forehead dotted with perspiration. He pulls out of you slowly before reaching for his pants.

"Dinner," Joel says raggedly. He kisses you again before pulling back, going to retrieve the tray whilst trying to hide his erection as you hold back a laugh. 

“But you didn’t come,” you remind him, as if it weren’t painfully obvious. Joel gives a breathy chuckle before kissing your sweaty cheek when he returns.

“Plenty a’ time for that, baby.”

Dinner is a steak for each of you with a side of fries, salad a charcuterie tray that Joel thought you’d like. You take a seat on the end of the bed with him and the two of you eat, chatting away about Joel’s flight over here and how he feels about Charlie (bumpy and he’s a good kid).

A short while later when everything is digested he removes the champagne from where it sits over ice and offers to pour you a glass. You’re struck by his thoughtfulness, of all the trouble he went to for you.

“Joel this is so sweet of you.”

“It gets sweeter,” Joel says with a grin. He lifts one of the silver trays and you smile when you see chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. Joel pours you each a flute of the champagne before handing you yours.

"To my genius girlfriend," Joel toasts, clinking his glass to yours. "And her extremely bright future." 

"To my impossibly sweet boyfriend," you say smiling dopily. “And his huge heart.”

The two of you sip your champagne, letting the bubbles tickle your tongue. He holds the plate of strawberries out to you but you shake your head. 

Joel watches as you place your flute down on the floor before crawling into his lap. He gives a soft chuckle before you're nestled in between his legs. He drains his champagne glass, placing it on the side table. 

"I want a different dessert," you breathe, urging his large hand between your legs and gently rocking. "Is that okay?"

His fingers curl into you, finding you wet and waiting. Your thighs spread, giving him better access to penetrate you deeper with his fingers. 

"Yeah, that's okay," Joel breathes against your skin. "S'your big day, baby. You tell me what-"

Before he can finish the sentence there's another knock at the door. Joel freezes as if remembering himself. He tugs your robe closed. 

"Put on some panties," he urges you. "Your other gift is here." 

"Another gift, Joel? And one I need panties for?"

"Trust me," Joel winks at you. "Now put on panties like a good girl even though we know you're anything but."

He swats your ass playfully as you sit on the edge of the bed; watching Joel turn the corner and hearing him open the door.  You pull on and re-tie your red panties once more, listening as your boyfriend opens the doors to two strangers you can barely make out in the mirror.

"Oh I thought they were sending two ladies," Joel said, his rumbling voice a twinge irritated. 

"So sorry Mister Miller, our usual girl called in sick,” a small redhead says with a concerned look. “Gus is all we had available. But I know you specifically requested deep tissue and he is the best.”

Joel pauses and then nods. “Alright then. Lemme help you with the tables.”

All southern manners Joel brings in the woman’s table despite her protests. You watch as the two  masseurs dressed in white pants and white t-shirts set up their tables, bringing out lotion and a portable speaker.

“We’re here for your couples massage,” the woman says grinning from you to Joel. “We hear you’re celebrating your graduation.”

“I am.”

“Congrats,” the man – Gus – says with a patient smile in your direction. “You must be glad it’s over.”

“I guess not glad enough,” you laugh. “I start my Masters in the fall.”

The woman is small with large eyes and a smattering of freckles over her nose. Gus is tall with blonde hair and the straightest teeth you’ve ever seen. He comes over to you with a charismatic nod of his head.

"I take it you’re the one who likes deep tissue?"

“Yes.”

"My name is Gus, I'll be your masseur today. Please let me know if you have any problems with the treatment.”

You see Joel eyeing you from where he stands by his table.

“Greta and I are going to step into the bathroom to give you both some privacy to undress to your comfort and slip under the sheets. Any questions? No? Alright then." 

The two of them head into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. You shoot Joel an amused look before the two of you undress to your underwear. You can’t help but let your eyes linger on Joel’s broad naked back as he lays himself on the massage table. He sees your peering as he pulls up the sheet to his waist.

“You gonna stare at me all night?”

You give a sheepish smile before climbing onto the table next to his, raising the blanket up to your shoulders before spinning onto your stomach.

Greta and Gus emerge when Joel calls out that you’re ready. The lights in the hotel room are dimmed and your eyes shut. The scent of lavender washes over you, the oil warmed by Gus’ hands. At the first stroke along your back you give a soft sigh, enjoying the feel of your muscles being taken care of.

You sneak a glance to see Joel laying with his eyes shut tightly, looking more in pain than anything. You hold in a laugh before closing your eyes again and surrendering to the calming sensation of Gus’ large hands on your body. 

The massage is divine. So much so that you can't help the little mewls and groans that escape you when Gus hits a particularly good spot. You didn't realize how tense you were.

You hear Joel give a few coughs during the massage, but you barely notice. Greta murmurs something to him and he shakes his head. She nods and you hear Joel give a soft groan when she gets to his lower back.

You’re not the only one feeling good and this pleases you greatly. Joel works so hard, he deserves to be spoiled. With Gus' strong palms pressing into your shoulder blades along with the lavender scented oil you feel transported. 

The hour goes by too fast and when the masseurs tell you to relax before getting up you want to cry. You wanted it to keep going on and on.

"Thank you so much," you murmur to Gus, your voice dripping with gratitude.

"We'll just step outside so you can get dressed again," they tell you and Joel in quiet whispers. "Please take your time standing."

You make a soft sighing noise before you feel Joel’s hand skimming along your spine. “That feel good?”

“So good,” you groan, allowing him to help you off the table and into the robe. He sashes it for you before giving you a kiss. He walks over to the door, allowing the masseurs to enter back into the room. They hand you both a glass of water that you drink eagerly.

"We hope you enjoyed your treatment."

“We did,” you enthuse sleepily. You feel so good right now, your limbs heavy in a sleepy way.

"Your boyfriend is so thoughtful," Gus murmurs as he packs up. 

"Mhmmm," you say with a wide grin. "I'm very lucky." 

You and Joel watch them pack up their things before they’re heading out. When the door is closed you flop down onto the bed, your body so relaxed. It feels heavenly to be touched like that, your muscles soothed.

"You liked that?"Joel says in a deep voice.

"Yeah, felt amazing." 

"Yeah?" Joel crawls over to your side of the bed, eyes primal. "I didn't."

Your eyes crack open to see Joel inches from your face. His dark eyes are blown black, his mouth curved into a tight smirk. He throws a leg over your waist, straddling you, his weight heavy and pressing you into the mattress. 

"What didn't you like, Mister Miller?"

"Watching that man touchin' you," Joel murmurs, eyes on your waist as he unties your robe.

A fire flames in you at the jealous tinge of his voice.  You’ve never really known Joel to be jealous. Even with Conrad he’d been more territorial by the end. But having Joel jealous . . . it’s kind of a turn on.

"He was just doing his job," you say rolling your eyes. 

"He was taking his time and starin'," Joel says with a sheepish grin. "I saw him."

"You were watching me the whole time? Weren't you just enjoying your own massage?" You ask with a laugh. 

"I did both."

You break into a fit of giggles as Joel's face breaks into a guilty grin

"He was just doing his job," you repeat and almost laugh at the petulant jealousy Joel is displaying. 

"I know," Joel says with an embarrassed flush over his cheeks. "I just hated watchin' another man touch you and you makin,' those noises for him."

His hands gently throw open your robe, displaying your breasts to him. He makes a soft noise of appreciation, hand sliding up your ribcage to cup them. You shutter when the thumbs drag along your nipples and they pebble tightly under his touch. 

"I wanna be the only one making you feel that good," Joel continues, amusement clear in his face when you begin to start squirming under his touch. 

"No one makes me feel as good as you do," you assure him, feeling his cock resting heavily on your belly. "No one."

You groan as he removes the robe from his body before pinning your wrists at either side of your head on the pillow. 

"Yeah?" Joel cocks his head to the side, smirking. "I think you need to remind me."

"I'll show you every fucking day if you let me," you groan, hips rolling under him. 

"Gonna need you to show me now," he says against your mouth.

"Joel you know I don't want anyone else," you tell him breathlessly. "I just want you."

"Yeah?" Joel's smile is genuine. 

"Yeah," you nod, "No one fucks me like you do," you tell him. "No one takes care of me like you do."

"I love takin' care of you," Joel admits, palms cupping your breasts again. He dips his head and rolls his tongue over a stiffened peak and groans when you shiver. 

You smile gently as he pulls you to a stand beside the bed. He removes the robe from your shoulders, leaving you beautiful and naked for him. He kisses your shoulder blade reverently, his hands slipping down to cup your ass.

He takes a moment to appraise your exposed flesh before he turns the lights off in the room. You wonder what he's doing when he's taking your hand and guiding you to the large window overlooking the darkened city. 

"I'm the only one who takes care of you," Joel murmurs as he twists your body around, facing you to the window. "And I want everyone to know it." 

The night is dark; the world dotted with streetlights, restaurant bistro lights, the warm little squares of nearby hotel rooms. 

"See them down there?" Joel asks, pointing to the people milling down on the ground below you. 

Its groups of patrons down several floors smoking and chatting near the entrance to the hotel bar. Several of them are smoking cigarettes or inhaling vapes. One girl shrieks and stumbles on her heels.

"Yeah."

The people below talk loudly, some tossing their heads back when they laugh. 

"You think any of 'em has seen a better pair of tits than these?"

His hands cup your breasts, thumbs grazing your nipples. You shiver, knowing that when Joel's voice drops to that dark baritone something is coming. He kneads your breasts, his mouth coming to kiss your neck, beard tickling the sensitive flesh there as you sigh. The sound of muted laughter breaks you from your reverie. 

"Joel someone could see-"

"Maybe," he teases before nibbling gently on your earlobe. "Maybe not."

His fingers are teasing your nipples into hard points, twisting gently until you whimper. Your cunt throbs, anticipation and fear coursing through you. 

"Bet if they can see they're thinking how they'd love the chance to fuck this sweet pussy," Joel continues, hand sliding to slip between your legs, fingers curling into your dripping cunt. 

"But they don't get to, do they sweet girl?" 

You rock against his touch, desperate for the friction. Your hand reaches behind you and goes to his neck as you lean against him, face tilting to his. 

"No," you promise him, head falling against his shoulder. "Only you." 

"That's right," Joel rasps against your cheek. "Only me." 

 Your eyes dart down to the group below and you pray that the darkness of the room shields you. You feel Joel hard and twitching at your lower back. He's getting off on this in a major way. 

"Let 'em see what they can't have," Joel whispers against your ear. "Let's show 'em what's mine." 

Joel's robe which had been shielding you slightly is pulled back from your body. You stand naked, framed by the large window. Your reflection is there, gazing at you like a sultry twin. You twist away from the cool glass, your cheeks flaming. 

"Joel-"

"Shhhh," Joel soothes, kissing the top of your head. "S'okay baby. I got you." 

His hand comes to your jaw, forcing you to keep your face pointed to the window. Your cheeks burn but you're so wet. You feel his body pressing into yours, herding you closer to the window. 

"That's my girl."

He continues like this, pressing you further against the window until your breasts are flattened against the glass. It's cool, and if your nipples weren't already pebbled they would be now. 

You allow yourself to be tilted, shifted, your stance widened and your pelvis pressed against the window. Your eyes remain on the figures below, terrified that they'll look up and see you naked and arched.

You hear Joel's robe fall to the ground and know that he too is naked behind you. His wide hand comes to cup your pussy and you whimper, eyes falling shut. You feel him notch himself at the entrance to your cunt. 

"Be good for me, now." 

Joel slides up into you, the two of you groaning in unison. He makes you feel so full, so deliciously stretched. His fingers begin to worry your clit, tapping and rubbing as he thrusts into you against the window before withdrawing. 

"Joel one of them is looking up," you say, even though the people are far away and they could be very well looking at any of the number of hotel rooms. 

"What do they see, baby?" Joel groans, shoulders rolling as he slides his fingers along the slick of your clit. 

"They see us," you groan, cheeks flaming. 

"Uh huh," Joel coos, cock teasing your entrance. "They see you takin' my cock like a good little slut." 

This sentence causes your knees to almost buckle and if not for Joel's body pressing you against the window you would have collapsed. 

"I want them to see how good my girl looks when I'm fucking her," Joel grunts out, pressing your body against the glass. Your pebbled nipples smoothed against the chilled surface. 

"They can't fuck you. Only me."

You whimper before Joel is sliding all the way once more, making your breath come out in little shudders. He picks up the pace, watching as you crest, and your orgasm washing over you. A small one, an appetizer. 

You wonder what the people below will see if they look up. A bit of movement in the darkness? Or a young woman pressed luridly against the glass while a broad shouldered older man pounds into her relentlessly? 

"They're watchin' me fuck what's mine." 

The possessiveness in his statement hits you directly in your cunt, causing you to moan lowly. Joel pins your hands to the window under his, both of your palms flat as he drives into you to the hilt.  

"You're all mine," Joel groans. His chin is on your shoulder, digging there. "Say it."

He thrusts brutally into you, his hips unrelenting. You're momentarily distracted before his voice is in your ear, hot and urgent. 

"Say it, baby."

"Say what?" 

"Say you're mine. I wanna hear it."

His hips are starting to thrust so hard it leaves you breathless, body jolting against the cool glass. It feels so good, so grounding. He presses all of him against you, your body flat against the window and he fucks up into you. His breath is hot at your temple, stirring the hair there. 

"I'm yours," you cry out. 

"Again."

"I'm yours, baby," you keen, hands slipping down the window, your body going boneless. Your cheek is shifting against the window, your now damp body squeaking against the glass. 

"Louder." 

"Yours," you punch out as Joel's mouth sucks at your jaw. Every word is now punctuated by Joel's snapping hips you pelvis smacking into the window. "Yours! Yours! Yours!"

He smells so good. Like sweat and the spicy cologne he wore at graduation and the lingering scent of the lavender massage oil. You want to wear that smell on you every day for the rest of your life. 

His breath is hot and damp on your neck, teeth scraping against your jaw. Your breasts are pressed tightly against the glass, showing your naked body off to anyone who can see this high up. His fingers rub your clit in gentle circles, palm pressing into your abdomen. 

"Again," Joel groans, his hips slamming into you, arousal soaking his length. You're pinned between his gyrating hips and the window. "Say it again."

"Joel I'm yours!" Your voice is cracking as your orgasm starts to creep up on you. "I'm fucking yours! I have been since Christmas!"

You're getting so close to another climax, you're almost there.

"You only want me and my cock" Joel groans, his hands on your hips now as he fucks you brutally, so much that you jump a bit with each thrust, your breasts rasping against the glass. "I'm the only one who fucks you properly." 

"You know I only want you," you tell him. "I only want you, Joel. I lo-"

You hold your tongue despite everything. Joel knows how you feel, he must. But the first time you told him he convinced you it was just a connection, not love. You don't want to be the one to say it again. 

He grips the back of your neck, forcing your head back and your mouth to graze his. He looks completely fucked out, shiny with sweat, pupils blown, mouth parted. 

"Mine," Joel rasps once before his mouth overwhelms you. His lips slot between yours as you let the pleasure overwhelm your core and tightened limbs. Your cries are weak and converging into whines as he continues fucking you. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” he growls against your open mouth. “Fucking mine.”

You come down moments later, body boneless and quivering against him. You feel like you're consumed by Joel, his arms around you, his body against yours. 

"I ain't done with you yet," he says breathlessly. Before you can say anything he has you in a bridal carry and he's taking you back to the bed. You gaze up at him with adoration, convinced your pupils must be heart shaped at this point. 

I love him. I love him. 

He sits at the end of the bed, holding you tenderly in his lap, body pliant and ready for whatever he'll offer you. You just want to be with him, near him, always. 

His eyes are roving your naked body, the sight of his turgid cock between your legs. He shifts, watching it slip between your lips, grazing the clit. 

"Joel," you sigh if only to hear the sound of it. 

He seems to remember himself at the sound, his eyes on yours. They go to your mouth, fingers gripping your chin. 

"You ready for more, baby?" He asks you, nose rubbing along your own. "Can I give you more?"

His palm trails over your breasts, down your stomach and grazing your inner thigh.

"Yes," you breathe, eyes heavily lidded. "I want more.”

There is a curl at the corner of his full mouth. 

"Be polite," Joel murmurs with a smirk. His mouth trails behind your ear, voice a soft huff. "Ask Daddy nicely, baby." 

Your eyes don't leave his face, even as your ass begins to roll over his hard and weeping cock. His mouth is at your neck, kissing and sucking. 

"Please."

"Please what?" He mutters against your throat. 

"P-please," you whimper shakily. "Please fuck me, Daddy." 

Joel groans low in his chest at the sound. He takes your hands in his; drawing them up, up until they're laced behind his neck. He leaves them there, his broad hands making their way down your arms, your breasts as you arch, your soft stomach and then between your legs. He holds your soft inner thighs and parts them widely. 

Your head tilts back, leaning against his shoulder so you can gaze up at him. He watches you for a moment, eyes tracing your face before he kisses you gently, tongue dabbing against yours as you settle there on his lap, hands on his at your waist.

And now he hooks your thighs over his own, parting both sets of legs widely until you're luridly exposed. Joel's fingertips make a slow trail along the crease of your thigh until they land at your clit. You make a small whimpering noise before settling back against him, eyes shutting in languid pleasure as your head sags forward.

Joel gently pulls your hair, tugging your face up from where it rests against your sternum. The pull is delicious, your heavy eyes staring up into the mirror above the dresser on the opposite wall of the hotel room.

“You're gonna take it like this," he tells your reflection in the mirror. "So we can both see how good you look when you're getting fucked by Daddy."

You whimper and nod, hand splayed over his. Joel is panting heavily behind you, large, dark eyes on yours in the mirror. Your eyes remain on his in the reflection, watching as he helps to lower you onto his cock. From this angle he feels even bigger. You're so slick that when he thrusts inside you think you’ll take him easily, but his size and the angle makes it a strain to take all of him at once. 

"You can do it, baby,” Joel soothes as the stretch makes you wince. You can see the flush over your cheeks, the red in Joel's face and chest. His muscles ripple under his beautifully tanned skin. 

"Be a good girl for me," Joel whispers against your temple. "Make Daddy feel good." 

///

Tess sees rather than hears the two of you first in the reflection of the mirror atop the hotel vanity. At first she's confused when she sees Joel on the edge of the bed facing the mirror. But then she sees the woman in his lap facing away from him, her knees slung over Joel's as he keeps her glistening sex spread wide. 

"That's right," Joel rasps against her temple. "I'm gonna take care of you, baby."

His cock is pressing between the woman's thighs, both coated in arousal as he thrusts. Tess can see his middle and ring finger on either side of the woman’s clit, rubbing gentle circles there.

"You always take care of me," the woman on Joel's lap groans, her thighs flexing as Joel drives himself up between her thighs. "Feels so good."

 When the woman lets out a husky moan Joel's eyes shutter but they never break from the woman. The woman's face tilts and Joel's eyes are so full of adoration that Tess feels physically sick. She watches as Joel's hands move to cup the woman's face. 

"Never felt this good with anyone," Joel tells her softly. "Never."

"Me neither," the woman whimpers before pressing her mouth to his. They kiss slowly, reverently, lovingly even as he fucks up into her. The woman makes a soft whimpering sound, her body quaking as Joel’s cock slides in and out of her. Joel's face breaks. His brows saddle and his thrusting reaches a fever pitch.

"Keep goin'," Joel is slurring. "Uh huh, you take it baby. This is all for you. S'always gonna be for you."

///

You sigh, feeling him bottom out inside you. He lets out a sharp hiss, his hands moving up your body to cup your breasts, pinching the nipples as you moan. He begins to thrust his cock into you, slowly at first, wanting you to acclimatize.

You watch yourselves in the mirror, hypnotized by the way Joel looks as he’s entering you over and over. The way he has your legs spread so wide, so obscene. The sight of Joel’s cock disappearing into your sopping cunt as he kneads your breasts. His eyes are heavy-lidded, but stuck on your face.

“You’re mine,” you tell his reflection, your damp temple pressed against his cheek. “Only mine.”

You don’t feel territorial like Joel, but you want to hear the words from him. There’s something like satisfaction in having Joel say it.

“Yes,” Joel pants, sawing his cock between your thighs. “Only yours.”

Your hands continue to lace around his neck, holding there as he continues to thrust. Your breasts bounce at every jolt, his large hands coming to hold your hips stationary.

"This is your cock baby," he tells you as he pumps into you. "Only you fuck it. Only you."

Your eyes are on his as he thrusts deep and fast, watching your body bounce on his lap, his broad forearms and shoulders caging you against him. 

"Joel you feel so fucking good," you moan, eyes closing as he drives himself firmly into you. "No one fucks me like you do."

"That's right," he purrs. "Because I’m yours and your mine n’ Daddy knows how to make his good girl feel good."

He’s fucking up into you with abandon, his hands on your thighs, keeping them apart. He can’t stop staring at the two of you in the mirror, bodies rising and falling together, slick with sweat, moaning together in some feral symphony.

You feel suddenly shy, your face turning to him, forehead pressing against his cheek.

"No no," Joel commands gently, his fingers gently forcing your face to the mirror. "Look at how good you look takin’ my cock, baby."

His face slides next to you, cheeks pressed together and in the mirrors reflection you can see the stark difference in your expressions. Joel is completely un-tethered, eyes narrowed and his teeth bared in a feral smile as he thrusts into you. It's the view of a man taking what he thinks is his, of possession, of desire. 

You on the other hand are completely fucked out, hair falling into your glassy eyes, mouth hanging open as you make inhuman noises, your naked body jolting with every thrust. You're totally gone, your body his to mold, hands barely able to hold onto his own around your waist. 

"Oh pretty girl," Joel groans heavily into your hair. "You're doin' so good. Keep goin' just like that. Daddy loves those sounds you're makin' just for him." 

"Fuck me harder Daddy," you gasp, bouncing along his cock. "Harder." 

He holds your thighs tightly, fingertips dimpling the flesh as he holds you open for him to see in the mirror and fucks into you even harder. He looks lost watching as your cunt swallows him time and time again, thrust after thrust. Joel cups your tits again, squeezing them together.

"Joel," you whine, pelvis tilting back and forth as you continue crying out at the ceiling. "I don't wanna stop."

"We're not gonna," Joel promises, the two of you falling into a rhythm as he flexes into you. "We ain’t stoppin’." 

He doesn’t know what you mean. That you don’t want to stop seeing him. You look over your shoulder at Joel and you let out a keen when you see how fucked out he looks. You have never wanted him more. 

"Joel,” you groan, eyelids fluttering. "I need to come."

"C'mon an’ be a good girl," Joel urges you; planting a sloppy kiss to your cheek as you two bounce together. "Use your manners."

He's so deep, working so hard that his back is slick with sweat. Your thighs burn as he holds you open but you don't stop, you don't even adjust because the strain adds to it. It makes it feel even deeper, even sharper.  His fingers are on your clit again, sliding and rubbing in the way he knows you love.

"That's my girl," Joel croons against your temple, his mouth breaking into a sinful smile against your hair. "So good for me."

"Please Daddy," you moan. "Let me come for you."

You rise and fall together like the waves of an ocean, his arms wrapped around your middle as your arm goes behind your head, fingers clinging to his neck, your forehead against his jaw. Your hips roll over him, sliding back and forth as Joel fucks into you. You stretch your spine out, back arching and face up at the ceiling as you cry out in high, raspy intonations. 

///

"Please Daddy, let me come for you."

The woman’s hips flex as she rides his cock. Her chest rises and Joel's left hand moves to cup her breast, his fingertips worrying her nipple. Tess tries to make out the woman's face but her hair is in her face. 

"You gonna come on Daddy's cock like a good girl?"

"Yes Daddy," the woman keens.

Tess feels her eyes blow wide at this. She's never heard Joel refer to himself as Daddy, has never had him encourage her to use the term. He's never fucked Tess on the edge of the bed, holding her in his lap and watching their damp bodies writhing together in the mirror. He's never been unrestrained, so recklessly passionate like this. 

Tess registers that her marriage is well and truly over not only because the woman is drawing moans from Joel that Tess has never been able to encourage in him in all their time together. It's because Joel has never looked at Tess the same way he's looking at the woman now. The naked look of reverence and desire mixed in one. Never shown himself to Tess like this, never let himself truly let go.

Tess can see Joel's slick cock sliding out and into the woman's bared pussy, deeper and harder with every thrust. 

“That’s it baby," Joel whispers against your mouth. "Give it all here. Lemme have it and you can have mine. Look at Daddy when you come for him."

She does, face tilted up to him, crying loudly and bouncing in his lap, her thighs spread wide. Tess sees arousal flooding over Joel's stiff cock still stuffing the woman's tight cunt. 

Tess holds in a grimace as Joel grips the woman's hips in his long fingers. 

"You like this?" Joel rasps, fingers worrying the woman's clit as she rides him. "Like me holding you open wide so you see how Daddy fucks his good girl?"

Tess watches the woman’s stomach tighten, sees the fresh gush of arousal around Joel’s cock and knows that she’s come. She gives out a shuddering cry of Joel’s name, her fingernails digging into his hands on her hips. Joel watches her face with a look of naked adoration, his mouth curling into a crooked smile.

“Feel good, baby?”

"Yes," she replies and Tess feels her stomach heave when the two share a soft and tender kiss. 

The woman says something else but Tess doesn't hear it. The woman's mouth moves to Joel's ear and suddenly he's got her around the waist, holding her against his chest as his cock saws in and out of her dripping slot, the sounds obscene in the quiet hotel room.

"You feel so fuckin’ good," Joel grunts, his voice guttural.

The woman moans, hips rolling. Her palm comes to hold Joel’s cheek. "Wanna make you come, Joel."

And she does. Tess watches Joel’s face go pinched, his hands clutching the woman tightly to him as his hips slap against her from behind. Joel moans, his entire body convulsing a moment before he empties himself into the woman. They both groan at the sensation, bodies so tightly pressed as their hips slowly stutter to a stop.

Tess stares at the woman and Joel, her eyes fixed on the debauched view of his come leaking out of her pussy as she sits spread wide on his lap. Joel's eyes won't leave the woman's face and the woman’s fingers lace through his curls at the base of his scalp. 

"I've never wanted someone the way I want you," Joel confesses quietly.

It's not just that comment which infuriates Tess. It's the way Joel's eyes are still gazing into the woman's face. It's an open, loving look without restraint. The woman murmurs something to Joel, something Tess can't hear. And suddenly Tess can't take it another second. She bursts towards them, eyes blazing.

"What the fuck is going on?"

///

You start when you hear Tess ' voice sound out behind you. Instinct tells you to turn around but everything in you stays frozen on Joel's lap as his softening cock slips from you. 

"Tess," Joel croaks. "What are-"

He stops himself, realizing that he's still holding your naked body open wide. You know he's hoping the same things you are. That Tess didn't see your face. 

Joel snaps into action, he grips the nearby robe and wraps it around you. He slips you off his lap, leaving you shaking on the bed as he pulls on his boxers. He stands between you on the bed and Tess standing watching you hide behind him.

Tess stands at the door of the room, her suitcase in one hand and a hotel key card in the other. In your frenzy neither of you heard the beep of the door as she came in. 

"Conference got cancelled," Tess says stiffly. "Thought I'd come surprise you and Sarah. Looks like I really surprised you."

Tess is quiet as you rush off to the bathroom, Joel's come leaking down your leg. You slam the door behind you, leaning against it as you slump to the floor. You can hear their voices outside in the room.

“How did you get in here?”

“I told them my husband was staying here,” Tess hisses back. "Who the fuck was that, Joel?"

"None of your business, Tess.”

You sit against the door, ear pressed even though they're both speaking so loudly you needn’t have bothered.

“Should have known you’d have a little side piece to keep your cock warm.”

“That’s not what she is,” Joel defends angrily. “And you’re not mad at her. I’m the one you were married to.”

 “Were?” Tess says choking down a laugh. “Did I miss something Joel? Last time I checked we still were.”

“Tess,” Joel says in a soft voice. “The divorce papers are signed. I don’t even know why you’re here in the first place.”

“I was coming here to see if we could still make it work,” Tess says chagrined. “I have the divorce papers in my bag. I was sitting on mailing them out. Fucking foolish of me when you have a little whore keeping your dick wet.”

“Don’t call her that,” Joel snaps. “I’m serious.”

You wish you could see him through the door. You stand, moving to sit on the toilet, wrapping the robe tighter around you. You clean yourself with one of the towels, feeling sick to your stomach.

“She seemed young,” Tess scoffs. “Now I understand the fascination. Bet you love eating her pussy don’t you? She taste good, Joel? Sweet?”

Joel doesn’t answer and you’re frankly shocked at how Tess is speaking. She didn’t seem this kind of person when you met her at Christmas.

“She just love sucking your cock?” Tess continues and you can feel Joel’s shame through the door. “Does she know you have a daughter about her age?”

“Yes.”

“How long have you known her for, Joel?”

Silence. The kind of silence that is more incriminating

Say something Joel. Something. Anything.

And then he does say something. But it’s not what you expect.

“No, Tess don’t-“

The door to the bathroom is thrust open and Tess stands in the doorway, staring down at you. You feel your soul leave your body when her see her register who you are.

"You?" She chokes out. "You?!"

"I'm so sorry," you say and the tears are spilling from your eyes. "I'm so so sorry."

Because you are.

You feel so deeply ashamed with yourself. All the times you told yourself it was a fling and it didn’t matter. All the times you pushed Tess from your mind because she wasn’t there to remind you that you were doing something incredibly wrong. And you feel so much guilt because you want her husband, you love him.

Tess backs into the room, her eyes blown wide as she looks at you emerging from the bathroom, face blotchy and eyes wet with tears.

“I welcomed you into my home,” Tess whispers in horror, her face white. “I cooked for you, I- Oh my God – is this… did it start back then?” She whirls on Joel looking ashamedly at his feet. “How long has this been going on, Joel? Tell me the fucking truth.”

Joel’s voice is low and quiet.

“Christmas.”

“Christmas,” Tess echoes weakly. “You’ve been fucking this little college slut for months?”

“Hey,” Joel says sharply, inadvertently coming to stand between Tess and the bed, shielding you.

“Big, strong protector,” Tess says with a disgusted laugh. She gives you a hollow look. “Until he gets bored of you and finds another college girl to fuck, right?”

“Tess, I know you’re hurtin’ and I’m sorry,” Joel says truthfully. “But you need to stop.”

“Did you fuck her in our bed?”

Joel can’t reply and you feel your stomach drop when Tess shake her head before sneering over at you, giving you a once over full of derision. Then her eyes are back on Joel’s increasingly red face.

“You get that you’re just some older guy she’ll fuck until she gets bored. A story she’ll look back on and laugh about with her age appropriate husband in about ten years.”

"Tess-"

"You feel good knowing you threw away our entire marriage for some college pussy?"

“Stop, please,” you beg, hating the look that’s clouding Joel’s face. That scared, uncertain look. “Please, Tess.”

"Why?" Tess scoffs angrily and you flinch at the way she hisses at you. “You don’t like hearing the truth? How you broke up a family because you wanted to fuck my husband?”

You hate knowing that you’ve hurt Tess so badly. You just never thought she would find out.

“Tess stop,” Joel says and now his voice is that same dark whisper. The scary one that sets goosebumps across your body. “I was the one that cheated on you. Be mad at me.”

“Oh don’t worry about that, I am,” Tess says with a shallow laugh before pointing at you with the key card. "But she played an equal part in this. If she’s old enough to have an affair with my husband, she’s old enough to hear this. You understand that you’re a midlife crisis, right? Most men get sportscars, but I guess Joel Miller’s not like most men.”

“She ain’t that,” Joel tells Tess and you feel the anger mixed with shame radiating off of him.

“No?” Tess’s mouth is curled into a ghoulish expression of amusement. “Why Joel? Are you in love with her or something?”

"Yes."

The speed in which he replies shocks not only Tess but you as well. Your head jerks to the side to face him. His eyes go to your face, the feeling so clear in his gaze. Your heart swells at the sight of it despite everything.

“Of course you are,” Tess laughs cruelly. “Joel Miller the romantic.”

“Tess-“

“You two are just fucking around, ruining marriages and families and I’m supposed to believe this is some love story for the ages?” Tess scowls as she collapses into the chair nearest to her. “Are you fucking deluded?”

You chance a glance over at Joel to see his jaw clenched and his dark eyes far away. Part of you wants to beg Tess’s forgiveness; the other part wants to slap her for making Joel look so beaten down.

"How many others have there been?" Tess demands. You watch Joel's cheeks flame and your stomach drops at the length of time it takes him to answer. Were there others? You never even thought to ask.  

"Just her," he finally utters quietly. "Only wanted her."

You realize now his hesitancy. If there had been several you'd just be a number Tess could forget about. But as it is there is only you, which means something more. Tess turns her ire on you now, her light eyes flashing.

"How could you do this to your friend?" Tess demands of you. "Forget about me, how could you do this to Sarah? How could you break up her family?"

You feel sick to your stomach. All the minutes and hours and weeks and months you spent pining for Joel, did you ever really consider the true ramifications? Or the people you would both hurt? Or were you just so intent on having him that everything else was pushed aside?

"Tess, it wasn't her," Joel assures her. "You and I had been unhappy long before Christmas. Meeting her just... It just confirmed how I'd been feeling for months."

“We were married. We were happy.”

"Were we really happy Tess?" Joel challenges. “I wanted more kids and you didn’t.”

“She’s gonna give you kids, is that it?”

Joel ignores this question, can tell without looking over at you that there must be a stricken expression on your face.

"When you weren't at work and it was just us we barely spent time together. And when we did most of the time we'd argue."

"But there were good times," Tess defends. 

"I know," Joel nods. "S'why I didn't break things off right away."

You don't like hearing this. Hearing how Joel wasn't sure. Hearing about his life when you weren't there. It makes your face crumple when you hear it. Joel must notice because his face is turning to you.

"But I couldn't forget her."

He goes to reach for you but stops when he hears Tess give a disgusted scoff. Your arms are wrapped around your body, wishing more than anything this moment was over. But Tess isn’t finished. Not by a long shot.

“And what did Sarah have to say about this?” Tess demands. “Something tells me she wouldn’t have been thrilled to see her best friend and her father fucking.”

The dual silence of you and Joel tells her everything.

“Ohhh….She doesn’t know,” Tess says in a mock hushed tone. “Well, maybe someone should tell her.”

You watch in horror as Tess reaches for her cell phone in her purse. Your stomach lurches and you dart forward, ignoring Joel’s hand grazing your waist as you pass him.

"Tess please," you beg, hand outstretched. "You can hate me and Joel as much as you want. But please think of how telling her like this will affect Sarah.”

Tess stares at you, a sinister curl of amusement on her lips. “Like you thought about how it would affect Sarah when you started fucking her dad?”

No, you never thought of Sarah. All you thought about was your own selfish pleasure. How were you so fucking deluded to think that loving Joel would be enough? Tess is one thing – according to him their marriage was already suffering and aside from this moment you never thought you’d have to see her.

But Sarah? Sarah was innocent in all of this. Sarah your only true friend.

“I didn’t because I’m a selfish piece of shit,” you tell her firmly. “But you aren’t.”

“Oh no?” Tess is almost laughing at your solemnity.

“No,” you shake your head. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were the kind of person to do the right thing. And you know that telling Sarah about us like this is wrong. It would break her heart. Sarah doesn't deserve this. She's never done anything to you. Ever." 

“And I deserved it?” Tess challenges. “I deserved to have some little college slut fuck my husband?”

The tears are falling down, hot and steady down your warm cheeks. Because she has every right to hate you both. You did something wrong, so impossibly wrong. You shake your head lightly, trying to swallow more of the tears.

“No, you didn’t.”

You feel your cheeks burn with shame and guilt as you lower yourself to your knees, head bowed. You face her, subservient in your stance, ignoring as Joel calls your name. Your fold your hands in front of you, lacing the fingers together as if in prayer.  

“Tess I’m so so sorry for what we did. I know that an apology means nothing. It means less than nothing,” you say, debasing yourself. “I understand you hating me for the rest of your life. What we did was fucking wrong, there’s no way around that. I don’t know how to fix it. I really don’t.”

You take a deep breath and try to swallow down the cracking sobs starting in your rib cage.

“But Tess I’m begging you, please don’t tell Sarah. Sarah loves Joel so much, finding out this way would devastate her. She doesn’t deserve to pay for our fuck up. She doesn’t deserve to learn about it like this, please don’t tell Sarah. Please.”

The sobs begin in earnest and you try to swallow them down once more, your chest heaving. When you finally glance up you can see that Tess is glassy-eyed and ignoring you there on the floor.

“I wanna talk in private,” Tess says, looking at Joel. “You owe me that much.” 

You continue sitting there on the floor, tears streaming down your face until you feel Joel’s hand gently alight on your shoulder.

"Can you give us a minute?" Joel asks you. "I'll send a text."

For some reason this hurts more than anything. To know that you’re the one being asked to leave in all of this. And yet you nod, grabbing your phone from the nightstand and leaving quickly, tightening the robe around your middle. 

///

You’re sitting in the pool area, lying on one of the puffy chaise lounges. It’s been two hours of scrolling your phone and wiping away tears as you try to face away from the families splashing around in the pool. 

Joel loves you.

Sarah is going to hate you.

Joel loves you.

You keep waiting for Sarah to call you in tears, screaming at you for ruining her life. When your phone buzzes you feel your stomach jump. You raise the screen to your face with shaking fingers.

[HIM 💜]: She left.

The trudge back to the hotel room is a slow one, your heart heavy. There’s no way Joel is going to want to continue this with you. And you’ve realized now that it’s going to break your fucking heart when he ends things.

You slip past him when the door opens, trying to mask your tears. You go to the bed, looking at the rumpled sheets and your red panties strewn to the side. It doesn’t look like the bed of two people in love. It looks like the bed of two selfish people.

Joel rests a hand on the doorknob, shoulders hunched at his ears. You can see the red at the back of his neck when you look back at him.

“Is she gonna tell Sarah?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Joel says it firmly, without question and you believe him. You want to ask him what he and Tess talked about, but at the same time you don’t want to know. You don’t want to think about how hurt she was.

And now you can’t stop thinking about Joel loving you. He loves you. Love. And you love him. This should be a time of celebration. But instead you stand there, eyes on his feet. Because love won’t be enough. He won’t want this with you, not at such a cost.

You blink back the tears and try to steady your voice.

“I guess we’re over, then?”

You make a motion between your bodies, waiting for Joel’s agreement. When several moments pass in silence you finally raise your gaze to Joel’s. He’s put a t-shirt on, but he still wears his boxers. He looks so vulnerable, despite his breadth and you can see the gloss that has begun in his dark eyes.

"Baby, come here."

Without thought you cross the room and move into his waiting embrace, arms banding around his waist. He holds you tightly to him, your head tucked under his chin. He sways you gently from side to side, his heart under your ear.

“I don’t want us to be over,” he murmurs against the crown of your head. “But I understand if this is too much for you.”

You hold him tighter, the tears no longer flowing. Being in his arms feels so safe and so right. You hate how right it feels in Joel Miller’s arms. If it felt even a tiny bit awful you could turn away, you could walk from this hotel and never give him a second thought. As it is, you feel something deep and eternal for him.

"Did you mean it? About loving me?"

Joel’s large hands move to cup your face, turning your red-rimmed eyes up to face him. He stares at you in that impossibly soft way that only Joel Miller possesses. The kind of way that spells affection in the flecks of honey in his iris, the way that shows adoration in the round of his pupils.

"Yeah," Joel whispers and suddenly he looks like a lost little boy as you stare up at him. "Is that okay?"

It takes everything in you not to cry again. You’re sick of crying. You want to remember how Joel is looking down at you now. How your hands lay against his waist, holding him. How in this moment you’ve never loved anyone more.

"Yes,” you finally whisper back. “Joel, I've loved you for so long." 

“I know,” Joel admits, his eyes glassy. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, baby. Was just scared to admit it, I think.”

His mouth finds yours, his hand sliding to the back of your neck as you wrap your arms around his waist once more. There’s no heat in this kiss, just a deep abiding love that you sense with every soft dab of his lips against yours.

“I wanna take care of you,” Joel murmurs, kissing the corner of your mouth. "I want you to come back to Austin with me. I want you to come stay with me for the summer. Please say yes."

Your stomach jumps in both anticipation and tremendous fear. This is a huge step for the both of you. And you’re scared that Joel is offering this because of how horrible this evening was with Tess. You bring a thumb to stroke his cheek, smiling up at him gently.

“Let’s go to bed,” you say.

Joel blinks before nodding, pressing a full-lipped kiss to your mouth before taking your hand in his and leading you to the bed. The two of you are completely wiped from everything. Still wearing your robe and Joel in his boxers, the two of you collapse into bed. Joel flicks off the light and draws you to him.

“I love you,” Joel murmurs against your forehead. Your heart sings at the sound of it and your mouth curls into a soft, contented smile.

///

You wake the next morning with a strange sensation. A mixture of joy an apprehension as you open your eyes. Joel is already awake, balancing on one arm and looking at you with a gentle smile. His hair is mussed from sleep, the curls flattened on one side. That shouldn’t make your heart jump with affection, but it does.

“Was wondering when you’d wake up. You were out like a light.”

“Shit,” you say, propping yourself onto your elbows. “What time is it?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Joel soothes, brushing the hair from your eyes. “I got us a late checkout.”

“Thanks.”

Your eyes drop to the space between you on the bed. A small sliver of waved blankets that in this moment feel like a canyon. You smooth your hands over it, feeling the soft texture. Joel watches this, you can feel his eyes on you. He knows you so well.

“What are you thinkin’ about?”

“About what you asked me last night,” you admit. “About coming to Austin with you.”

Joel grows serious, taking a slow inhale. “And?”

“I’m worried you’re saying it because of everything with Tess,” you admit, fingers plucking the bed sheets absently. “And I don’t want that. I want it to be because it’s something you want, not something you feel obligated to do.”

Joel launches himself off of the bed before you can finish your thought. You watch his broad shoulders bared, his body covered in only his boxers as he knees down, rummaging for something in his suitcase.

You stare at him puzzled when he comes back with an envelope and a small square box.  He sits across from you on the bed, his large frame comically child-like in the cross-legged pose. He passes you the envelope first.

You open it, confused when you pull out a long piece of paper until you realize what you’re looking at. An airline ticket to Austin and your name in on it. Your eyes dart in surprise to Joel’s open gaze. He sits with his hands folded on his muscled thighs. He rubs the palms along them a few times before nervously swallowing.

“Wanted this for a long time,” he tells you. “Longer than I wanna admit.”

A smile breaks out over your features. This wasn’t a last minute plan to smooth over what happened last night. He wanted you to come back with him to Austin for a while. Living with him for an entire summer.

“I was gonna ask you properly last night,” he admits. “The same time I gave you this.”

Joel takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, stroking sweetly before motioning to the box between the two of you. It's a small square box in a color you know too well: Tiffany blue wrapped in a black ribbon.  

"Open it."

You do slowly, feeling nervous with Joel's gaze on you. The ribbon drifts to the floor until all you're left with is a small square box with Tiffany & Co embossed on the front. You let your fingers trail over the grooves of the letters. 

He wouldn't propose. 

No it's too early. It's too much. You can't possibly say yes can you? No, it's insane. His divorce isn't even finalized yet. Your trembling fingers open the box, eyes widening until you see what rests inside. 

Relief floods you when you see a delicate silver chain and pendant sitting on the velvet cushion inside. It's simple; a thin x with diamonds in each of the empty spaces and the shape is unmistakable. 

A snowflake. 

It's on a slender silver chain that sparkles in the light as you remove it from the velvet cushion.

"Here, lemme put it on ya," Joel murmurs, taking the delicate jewelry in his wide fingers. You twist away from him, sliding your hair over one shoulder. You feel him fumble with it against the nape of your neck and you hold in a shiver at the sensation. 

"Perfect," be murmurs, tracing a finger along the chain.

"It's just ... This is so much, Joel. The necklace, the hotel, the massage.” Guilt gnaws at your belly.  “Did you get anything for Sarah?"

Joel's head tilts slightly as he regards you. "You're worried I didn't get anything for Sarah?"

"I guess ...” you falter. “I just ..."

"I got her a ring made from one that used to belong to her mom. I paid for her and Charlie to stay at a swanky hotel in town for the weekend," Joel promises, kissing the worry from between your brows. "Plus a few other things that ain't your business because she's my kid."

He says the last part in a jesting tone, pinching the end of your nose in his knuckles and squeezing gently a moment. Relief floods you at this admission.

 "Good."

Joel surveys you a moment, features drawn. He takes your hand in his, wide thumb tracing the back. 

"My daughter will always be my biggest priority," Joel informs you, concern trailing over his strong features. "You never have to worry about that."

"Alright."

Joel swallows. 

"But you also need to understand it, too. I need you to be okay with it, cuz that ain't changing. She's always gonna be my kid."

Adoration flows from you as you look at Joel. The difference between he and your parents rearing is so stark it fills your eyes with tears. 

"I think that's why I fell for you from the start," you admit without thinking. "Because of how well you love her."

Joel's face is pure sweetness as he looks at you. 

"But that doesn't mean you're not a priority too," he tells you with earnestness. "You're my girl."

His large palms come to either side of your jaw, tilting your mouth to his. His girl. How long did you pine over Joel Miller dreaming of a life where you're his? And now you are. Here in his arms, kissing him fiercely. 

You break apart, flushed happily. You look back at your necklace, tracing the small pendant before turning it over. Your brows knit together in confusion as you see the engraved letter on the back.

"H?"

"For Heather," Joel tells you shyly. "I just know she'd be proud of you, baby. Maybe even more than me."

And that’s it, the moment you fall so hard for Joel Miller than no one could catch you. Your heart overflows with affection for him as you launch yourself into his lap, holding him. Everything about him feels right as he pulls you against him, his breathing soft and steady.

 “I wanna come back to Austin with you Joel,” you tell him with a watery smile. “I wanna spend the summer with you.”

“Are you sure, baby?” Joel asks, concern clear in his features. “I don’t wanna pressure-“

“I’m sure,” you answer, your mouth kissing his jaw, then his lips. You pull back because there is something so engaging about Joel’s eyes. You see everything in the depths of his large, chocolate colored gaze.

"Joel... How do you just..."

"Just what?"

"See me," you say softly. You can’t find another word to describe it. All the things you’ve tried to keep hidden, the secrets, the shame, he sees it all. And he loves you through all of it.

"Same way you see me," Joel offers. 

Joel's eyes are so impossibly soft as he stares at you and when you press your mouth to his, he's so warm. You’re convinced that if you cut your veins they would bleed the color of Joel’s eyes, that your heart is wrapped up in his flesh, that you are a part of him and he’s a part of you.

"Make love to me," you whisper against his lips.

You don't know that it's possible considering all that’s gone on in the last twenty four hours. But you need to feel him inside you right now; you need to be as physically close as two people can be. 

"Of course," Joel murmurs back his nose gently tracing yours. "Whatever my girl wants." 

Any fears that he won't be able to perform are allayed when he brings your thigh over his and you feel his hardened cock at your entrance. You both shimmy out of your under things, kicking them onto the hotel floor. He removes the robe from your body and on his side he holds you, thumb rubbing the plush of your hips. He urges your thigh over his hip and then he slides into you slowly, both of you gasping softly at the sensation of his cock and your cunt meeting in pleasure.

“I love you so much sweet girl,” he tells you. “So much.”

“I love you too,” you whisper, eyes locked on his. “I've never really been in love before." 

And it's true, you realize as Joel slowly and sweetly makes love to you that you've never actually loved anyone. You thought you loved Conrad but that was an infatuation. He never saw you like Joel does. He never held you like Joel is holding you now.

He holds you like a cherished artwork, like something precious. Like you’re worth something, even though your whole life you’ve been told the opposite.

His mouth goes to your neck, kissing and licking there as you whimper against him. He gently moves you onto your back and you let him take control of the motion. Your hands lace in Joel’s at the side of your head, holding you in place, his body sliding along yours.  

"Gonna hold you like this every day in Austin," Joel breathes as he continues to slowly thrust into you deeply from this angle. "Gonna cook for you. Gonna take you on dates. I’m gonna take care of you."

"I want that too," you breathe, mouth over his, swallowing his cries. "Wanna be with you so much, Joel.”

He notices your eyes closed tightly, body rocking gently against his. He lets this happen a few moments, watching as your body begins to flush and your brows saddle. But soon he feels himself approaching his climax and he needs your gaze.

"Eyes open for me, pretty girl," he murmurs and your eyes crack open at his request.

The two of you stare deeply into one another's eyes, the moment heavy. You can see Joel's mouth starting to quiver as he breathes, something he does when he's about to come. He holds you tighter to him and neither of you can look away when your climaxes overtakes you.

He spills into you while crying out your name, you follow soon after with his name half-uttered before your groans of pleasure become too much. You both stay like this a moment, he soft but still buried within you. You kiss fiercely, desire flooding you both at the knowledge that this is only the beginning.

“Better get you to the dorm,” Joel offers. “Gotta pack for Austin… As long as that’s still something you want?”

You see the indecision in his eyes, the continued concern that he’s forcing you into something you don’t want. You hum a soothing noise before you press a palm to his whiskery cheek, watching him go from nervous to calm at your touch.

“I can’t wait.”

-----------

taglist:

@fanficaddictmwah @southernbe @oldenoughtoknowbettersstuff @604to647 @ashleyfilm @survivingandenduring @weirdoneattheparty @lilipads @cinnamongorll @katiexpunk @emotrash1 @booksaremyfood @mellymbee @ashleyfilm @magpiepills @sptbear @getitoutofmymind

[donatellawritings]

omg bebé i js read ur most recent and i NEED rafe fucking up and he KNOWS he fucked up. i love him but he needs to suffer sometimes 😭 xx besos

lol he does need to suffer sometimes and he def does during their time apart :p besitossss xoxoxoxox

[skippyv20]

SKIPPY-As an artist I totally stink at numbers…I decided to recheck and feel these are more accurate…I am sooo sorry I have to bother you again…there are 2000 lbs in a ton so that is how I got the number for the Vogue cover…as for Swift…I think there was an editorial error I used so I checked more articles and it said only 138 not 138,000.  I apologize for bothering you…xoxoxoxox P

No worries at all!  Thank you for doing this❤️

[atmymercy]

feedback🐏

This giveaway was fun because of both side interaction!

Ohh so im right?? Bjork is a musician and her songs are very intense and deep, she is a woman who seems to be very witty and connected to her intuition and feelings also she is very powerful! kind of out of the box because her songs are very different, seems like she was born to be a musician cuz very smart and unique on what she do and has an otherworldly vibe because she's very introspective and connected with nature (she's a scorpio in the sun , moon and rising so imagine its very intense)

So i said you had the bjork vibe because of the deepness and introspection of emotions and intuition and nature stuff lolol

I'm glad you thought it was cute lolol I put the lyrics of the songs on mspaint so as not to make the ask too long

--

okay i got surprise about his career field cuz i imagined it would be from the same field as me of arts and creation, woa really... he's quite the opposite of me lol this passion seems to be very difficult 😭

thaank you for the reading tea~

much love for you xoxoxoxox

hello p! princess p!

omg! i thought so too! like it was fun for both of us to have like a cute little project to present to one another! i loved it! i think i'll probably continue it for the month of april! a fun little change or twist! like show and tell for both of us! hehe!

ooh if you have a favorite song by her, i would love to look it up! she sounds intense and i love that! girl! your intuition is so good! and i'm more than happy to be seen as vibing with such amazing women! no offence to men but like... femme power! lolol no way! top 3 scorpio! oh my! you know when spirit has a plan for someone when... lolol

it was so cute! i'm going to need to get a printer or something to put it up somewhere! omg! yes! new fun little goal. lol

me too! i thought he would be an artist too but then the cards came out and it was all about justice yet pride & ego! so like damn! nope! nevermind! lol i bet it is difficult! but different people are up for different challenges than us! lol

yay! it was my pleasure, honey!!!

love & light!

-tea

[christineelise]

Ten years ago today - I came home from a 6 hour day on the set of Castle to find my pug, Grisbi, dead in my bed - pretty much where he is in this photo. He was 4. No explanation. He was not ill & could not get on my bed unassisted - so - I know he was there ever since I'd left. A sad mystery & he is forever missed! He was a sweetheart & a comedian. I love you, Grisbi!!! xoxoxoxox 🐾💔🐾 https://instagr.am/p/ChUlwLeu-ag/

[flyhighguy]

*insert dwight's it is your birthday. banner here.* hahaha i kid. HAPPY FREDDIE DAY BABE!!!! I HOPE IT IS AS AMAZING AS YOU ARE!!!!!!! xoxoxoxox

you funny, you funny betty :P thank you so much for the message, though! time flies, i can’t believe how long we’ve followed each other now and written together. thanks for all the fun so far <333

[brockymcginn]

4, 20, 6, 9 (nice), 3

first of all, whoever sent me this in this order, I love u

second of all:

4) have you ever met a hockey player and not known who it was?

not that I know of, but who knows, maybe I've ridden the Metro w a C*p

20) Favorite Bromance:

it physically pains me to choose between Svech/Dougie/Foegele and Boeser/Petterson, so I won't

6) have you ever gone skating on a pond?

yes!! I'm originally from upstate NY so there u go. we also used to skate on my grandparents in-ground swimming pool lmaoo

9) have you ever gotten injured playing hockey/skating?

yeh when I broke in my first pair of figure skates, the blades weren't sharp enough and it took approx. five mins of skating to absolutely WRECK my ankle, rip

3) have you ever met a player?

LISTEN listen. No. I was supposed to meet Jim Craig when I was like 10 bc he came to my cousin's school to make a speech but I got a stomach bug so NO not yet

Thank you!! Xoxoxoxox

[eddiemunsononlyfans]

rules: spell out your url with song titles and tag ten people

i was tagged by @farfromlocal​ and @adampvrrish​ xoxoxoxox 

i tag anyone that sees this if you see it you’re tagged and tell them i tagged you you are tagged

my url has no business being this long it’s going under a cut

harvest moon by neil young

oh! sweet nuthin by the velvet underground

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers

on + off by maggie rogers

paris by the 1975

happy by mitski

oh no! by dear and the headlights

bartender by lana del ray

i can’t go on without you by kaleo

cherry wine (live) by hozier

tonight you belong to me by cat power and eddie vedder

hard feelings/loveless by lorde

end of all things by panic at the disco

oh detroit, lift up your weary head! by sufjan stevens

die young by sylvan esso

ever since new york by harry styles

cinder and smoke by iron & wine

keep me there by fleetwood mac

early morning rain by gordon lightfoot

ring by djo

[imustbeamermaidrango]

HAPPY BIG 4-0, MR. DANDY!!!! You don't look a day over magnificent. :P XOXOXOXOX

[toontowncrazy]

WFRR Fanfic: Genie AU

Summary: Every few centuries or so, Jessica grants the wishes of whoever finds her lamp before being imprisoned in it once again. Then a dung collector rabbit found her lamp, who strangely can't think of anything to wish for.

Long One-Shot

When one had an eternity, years weren't so much different to minutes.

No clocks. No hourglasses. No sun to dictate the passage of time.

Jessica allowed herself to get lost in painstakingly carved stars. The precised asters expanded geometrically across the circular room in a never-ending web of golden filigree.

"Room" was what one might call it at first glance. A room she could never leave. It mattered not for her. For she goes, grants and returns back to her lamp.

Her whole world jostled and Jessica jumped in surprise. She had no idea where her lamp was right now. Her last master was by the river when she had granted his last wish. Then as her lamp was designed, she was pulled back into the lamp and it had jettisoned away.

She gripped the silk cushions for support when the whole room felt lifted. Her heart thudded, wondering what master would she served next -her only company outside the lamp. There were sounds of hands rubbing against copper and the whole room quavered at the friction.

Jessica closed her eyes as mist surrounded her, once more summoned to grant three wishes.

Heat caressed her body as soon as her room gave way. An expanse greeted her, obscured by her own magical mist.

"Greetings, Master. I am Jessica, your genie of the lamp," she duly recited. "Here to grant you three wishes. However-"

She paused. There was a prolonged croaking that she was certain wasn't a sound of any bird or beast.

Jessica looked around, finally able to see her surroundings with the fading of the mist.

She was in something that looked like a barren land. The sun beat harshly against the cracked earth. Whatever plant life that survived the heat was parched and struggling.

The still croaking sound was coming out of the slack jaw of an anthropomorph rabbit. His brown fur was caked with dust and dried mud, leaving him the color of earthy rust.

Her nose tried not to wrinkle at the sack he had over his shoulder. It emitted the strong stench of cow dung. Even his clothes looked crusty from the accumulation of his labor.

Jessica's brows only rose in reaction. He definitely needed some wishing. And washing.

"However," she monotonously continued, reciting from etched experience of eternity. "There are rules placed upon my powers. You cannot wished for someone's death. You cannot wished for someone to fall in love with anyone. You cannot wish for more wishes."

She folded her arms with a raise of a perfectly shaped brow.

"You cannot especially wish the genie to a marriage or any sexual or romantic situation." She glared at him pointedly. "Suggested or otherwise."

The rabbit continued to make that prolonged croaking noise at the base of his throat.

It was probably because her lower half is smoke trailing to the spout of her lamp. Or maybe because...

Jessica tried not to roll her eyes. She liked looking voluptuous in her bedlah -a fitted bra and a fitted belt richly decorated with her own taste of crystals and beaded fringe. However, couldn't a man take a little bit more responsibility for his own actions?

She bent down to his 3-foot height and tapped his mouth close.

That seemed to have snapped him out of shock. "I can have 3 wishes?" he gasped.

"Yes," she patiently said.

He ran his hand his dusty tuft of hair and rabbit ears. "Jeepers!" he exclaimed. "What should I even wish for?"

Jessica's eyes swept over his scraggly, dustball self and his equally dirt-trodden mule. "Anything?" A bath, maybe? she thought.

He scratched his head, shifting the sack of feces over his shoulder.

"Well, I got rhythm. I got beat. What more could I ask for?"

Jessica could only stare.

He then started talking to his mule who seemed to be braying out in frustration. "Jeepers, Benny! Calm down. What's gotten into ya?"

Jessica started to mentally list the things he could wish for -just to get it over with- like maybe another job that doesn't involve manure.

"What about you? What would you wish for?"

Her eyes focused on the rabbit again, jolted. "What would I wish for?" she echoed.

953 years and she never thought about asking herself what she had always asked of others.

Her body burned with fervor. She wished to see the world. She wished to never be trapped inside a tiny space again. She wished-

She shook her head, a stretched smile hiding a bitter pill. "I wish to be free. But that won't apply to you-"

"Okay. I wish you to be free!"

"Wait-" But too late. Her shackle bangles on her wrists shone fiery gold in a blast of light. She could feel the misty wisp of her lower half shaped and form into limbs as the shackles burst, disappearing in a flash of light.

She blinked, stunned. Below her fitted belt, her new legs could be seen through loose, harem pants. Her feet peeked out, firmly pressed against the cracked earth.

"See ya!" the rabbit chirped, leading his exasperated mule away.

Jessica still stood there, wondering if she was in deep, dreaming slumber.

But the earth began to scorch her soles and she immediately zapped sandals on her feet.

Her eyes looked down on her legs, still not believing what had happened. Using her magic, she transformed her pants into a translucent, full skirt draped with equally rich array of beads and crystals. She twirled around, her leg momentarily exposed by its thigh-high slit.

Satisfied, Jessica focused on the magic floating around her hands. Her body thrummed with all the possibilities could offer.

She disappeared in a golden blaze.

XOXOXOXOX

Who knew I would get my freedom from a fool?

Jessica stood at the mountains of Himalayas, breathing in the cold, unforgiving winds.

He could've wished for anything! He could've wished for riches! Or at least a bath!

Jessica internally rolled her eyes, running her hand on the tiger's back in Bengal.

The fool wasted the one time he could be happy.

Jessica sighed at the background litany in her mind. She surfaced from the ocean again after exploring the Great Barrier Reef.

He could've had two wishes granted first if he really wanted me to be free. But no, he's so thoughtless-

Jessica finally set down the scroll about aliens that she's been trying to read in the restricted Vatican library.

-he forgot himself.

Fine, she told her mind. I'll help him back.

XOXOXOXOX

Inside a shack, the sun's first rays crept through the entrance. Roger snored. His whiskers twitched. Dried drool left a trail from the corner of his mouth. His left arm and right leg was draped haphazardly over the hammock.

The sun's beam finally reached his closed lids. He sighed at the warmth, burrowing deeper in his blanket. But the brightness of the daylight seeped through his eyelids, no longer to be ignored.

"Ah, Mr. Sun," he slurred with sleep. "Five more minutes?"

"I doubt Mr. Sun would stop doing what it always does for the last 4.6 billion years."

His eyes snapped open. He abruptly sat up and looked around so fast, he tumbled out of his hammock.

"What-Where-Who-?" he yelped on the earthen floor.

"The sun. In your house. It's Jessica."

His eyes landed on a woman watching him by his hammock. He clutched his twisted blanket to himself.

"What're you doing in my home?!"

"Your door's unlocked," she gestured at the cabin's entrance.

He tried to scoot back. "I don't have anything precious." His eyes landed on a lamp in one corner of his shack. "You're-"

She smirked. "So you do remember me."

The rabbit stood up, rubbing his eyes. From sleep or surprise, she couldn't say. "How can I help you?" he asked.

Her smirk became wider. She bent down and tipped his chin up with a delicate finger. "How can I help you?"

"Huh?"

She turned away, looking around his hut. "You've set me free, Mr. Rabbit. Surely, there must be a way for me to pay you back."

"It's fine, really."

Jessica raised a brow at the dirty-brown rabbit. His fur was as mud-dried as the last time she saw him. He gave her a sheepish grin. "Would you like something to eat?"

Before she could answer, the rabbit went out. A donkey brayed.

"Coming, Benny!" He grabbed a basket. "I'll just gather some grub."

She watch him scurry about with his morning chores. Sometimes tripping. Sometimes spilling. But always bouncing back. In a short while, he got a stew boiling in the fireplace. She watched him scoop contents into a bowl. The soup looked reasonably thick but its vegetables were meager. Beside him was another empty bowl.

"Genies have no need to eat," she spoke.

His ears bobbed as he nodded in understanding. She wondered if he saw through her intention.

She settled down comfortably on the mat. "So why live so far away, Mr. Rabbit?"

He took a sip from his bowl. "P-p-please call me Roger. I'm going to plant a forest!"

Jessica blinked. She looked around just to make sure they're on the same page. They were in a middle of a semi-arid land. Of baked red earth where the heat made the very air simmered.

She turned back to Roger again. "You're going to turn this desert... into a forest?" she clarified.

"Yup!" he brightly nodded. "That's why I collect dung! What're you doing?" he asked when Jessica stood up.

There was a smirk in her lips. Power glowed and coursed through her hands. Jessica walked towards the cracked plains. She now knew how to help Roger. Jessica pointed a hand to the wasteland. All she needs to do was grow him a forest.

"JESSICA, NO!"

She almost doubled over at the sudden weight that attached itself on her outstretched arm. Jessica smoothly straightened up again to see Roger wrapped around her elbow.

"P-p-p-please, Jessica! Don't do it! Magic ain't gonna to be the answer for this!"

Her mouth hanged open. Collecting herself, she shook her arm free from Roger.

"Then how can I help you?" she asked. "Everyone has a wish."

He gave her a rag to dust her arm off, looking apologetic. "I'm good! You don't need to grant my wish. You're free!" he reassured.

She looked at him and those earnest eyes that spoke a frustrating naivety to her. "That's just it. You freed me." She placed a hand on her chest. "I feel a debt that I have to pay."

He opened his mouth to protest. But she stopped him. "I must," she said with finality.

"I..." Roger paused. Then he spoke, sheepish. "If I wish for a cup of water, would you feel better?"

Jessica snapped her fingers and a glass of water appeared in his hands. Roger drank from it and looked for her approval. But she only shook her head.

He looked away, his ears lowering. "I'm sorry, Jessica. I don't have anything that grand to wish for."

"Not even a forest?" she asked, the very thing that she could see he desired the most. Her finger swirled with magic. Just say the word...

"No." His tone was akin to a door firmly closed.

Her brows slightly knit together -a sole sign of her rising exasperation. Roger stepped back when she sighed.

"Alright." She calmly swept her hair off her shoulders. "Then I'm staying here." Jessica leveled him with a look that sealed their fate. "Until you wish for something."

His mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "What... What?!... I... You..." He glanced back at his mud hut before his shoulders drooped with a sigh. "My home's not much but guests are welcome."

Jessica approached his home, her hands glowing with magic. "Leave that to me."

"No!" He chased after her. "No magicking my hut!"

XOXOXOXOX

The town by the desert bustled with dust and activity. People clamored in the market as children played. Beasts of burden lazily stood by with flicking tails. The sun was less harsh with the buildings giving shade with their shadows. But the smell of warm winds and fried street food intermingled with the bright splashes of rugs and pottery.

"Oh. My. Goddess!" Clarabelle Cow breathed. She clutched the hem of her top, trying not to stare with the others.

The dung collector rabbit led his donkey. He moved stiffly. His mouth was a thin, discomfited line. People stopped what they were doing as soon as his cart approached. For in its passenger's seat, was a woman that they have never seen before. Her robes were loose and mute. But her face radiated a pristine kind of beauty found in royal courts.

The rabbit stopped by the line of oxen carts like he would usually do. He took his spade and burlap sack. The mystery woman, however, left his cart and proceeded for the stalls.

Clarabelle straightened up when she approached her tapestry booth. "Hello! Can I help you?" she asked.

The woman smiled. "Sorry. Just looking." She glanced at the rabbit who was now collecting feces. "I'm just here to accompany my friend."

Clarabelle bit her lip, her mind feverish with questions. More. More. Tell me more.

"It's been a while since I last saw him," she sighed, fingering an intricate rug. "How is he around town?"

Clarabelle beamed. She leaned on her booth, already in the zone at the spotlight. "Oh girl, you have no idea. That dung collector just comes and goes. Says he's going to plant trees at that wasteland. Mad, isn't he? Farmers have given up on those lands for years and he thinks that he can plant something there!"

She talked on and on. For if there's one thing Clarabelle loved more than listening to news (gossip), it was telling them.

XOXOXOXOX

The ride back to Roger's home was as long as he had informed her. But at least she was getting an idea about his daily motions.

"So where do you take the excrement, Roger?" she asked.

He hopped down from the cart. "Follow me!" he said, grabbing a sack of cow flops and a shovel-axe.

"This wasn't a desert before," Roger remarked. His ears curled over his head, creating a shade. Jessica absentmindedly tugged the scarf on her head closer.

"There would be droughts every now and then. But plants and trees always manages to grow back."

Magic kept her body cool, her genie form had no need for sweat. But even she could tell just by looking how parched the air was. Steam practically came out of the cracks in the ground.

"But that was more than 10 years ago. This is the longest drought this place ever has!" Roger exclaimed. "It didn't help that the farmers never let the land rest. Their crops sucked the earth dry!" He gestured with his shovel axe. "And don't get me started with those ranchers. They just let their cattle eat everything in sight without letting the grass grow back!"

There were struggling saplings scattered across the area. Roger headed for an empty spot and plunged the axe end of his shovel.

"Planting is hard enough to do with all the slopes around. Now all the soil falls down and gets hard without any roots to intervene!" Roger stabbed the ground repeatedly. "Which makes it just worse because the water supply wells become more shallow and no one's doing anything but go away and use things up and the rest are now paying it for it!"

His axe accidentally hit stone. That jolted the rabbit out of his rant. He blinked, mouth pressed shut, finally realizing that he had been mouthing off.

"Sorry," he mumbled. His eyes trained on the ground as he flipped his tool and used the shovel part to widen the pit. "I'm just frustrated that people think there's nothing to be done."

"Don't be." She stooped down, peering at the hole he was digging. "So what have you been doing?" she asked, deciding that Roger would be better at focusing on things he wanted done.

He knelt down and dug the loose earth with his hands. "Dig a hole, mix the soil with the dung. Then plant." Roger opened the sack beside him. Jessica tried not to wrinkle her nose. "The manure isn't just fat for the sapling, it keeps the earth moist."

"This is going to take a while, is it?"

"Yup!" There was something confident in his voice. "But it'll be worth it."

Jessica remembered how townspeople couldn't decide if he was crazy or a fool. Why toil that long when he could just have a better life somewhere else?

She straightened up, her hands glittering with magic. "How can I help?"

Roger responded by giving her the shovel-axe. "No magic." he pointedly replied. "Just good ol', honest labor."

Jessica looked down on the tool in her hands, momentarily at loss.

"I'm used to digging with my hands." His rabbit ears waved in emphasis. "It's okay if you don't wanna. You don't really need ta help me."

She looked up to him, feeling her pride prickle. Maybe Roger didn't intend the effect. But she did ask and Jessica always granted wishes.

XOXOXOXOX

Jessica had always been graceful... until now.

Too used to willing things into reality with just a zap of magic, she discovered she lacked the trained coordination on hitting the earth.

Red-faced but determined to master such a mortal thing, Jessica focused on solidly axing the earth as hard as Roger had done before. For someone who cracked jokes in the cart ride, she was glad that he wasn't making fun of her.

"Want some?" he asked, offering her his flask. Jessica shook her head.

"A genie doesn't thirst."

She got the feeling she was slowing his routine. But Roger was patient. "You're doing better than my first time!" he cheered while swiftly mixing the loose soil with manure.

The sun was setting when Roger decided to stop. They returned back to the hut. Only to see a covered wagon and a coyote's figure.

"Wiley!"

Wiley waved. Roger rushed to his side.

"Jessica, this is Wiley, my neighbor!" he gestured Wiley to her. "Wiley, Jessica!"

Jessica shook his hand. "A pleasure."

"Do you need stool samples again, Wiley?" Roger asked.

"I'll leave you two boys to your talk," she murmured, walking towards the hut.

Wiley waited for Jessica to disappear before turning to Roger. "So who is she really?"

"Uhh..." Roger's eyes flickered to the side. "A friend who's just visiting?" he offered.

His yellow eyes looked wry. "You live in the middle of nowhere, Roger," he pointed out.

"Well, I do have another life before I came to live here," Roger replied.

Wiley studied him before looking away.

"Just making sure. Word in the street was, you met her in a faraway land, rescued her during a world war and got married. Then she cheated on you with a rich, old man whom you murdered. But eventually, you were framed for it. Yet you left. To give yourself space from everything that happened. Then she followed you here."

Roger looked like he was suddenly introduced to advanced calculus.

"Clarabelle," Wiley explained.

A light switched on in Roger's eyes. "Ah," he nodded in understanding.

Wiley cleared his throat. "And yes, I'm going to need stool samples of those oxen."

After biding Wiley goodbye with his stash of samples, Roger approached his cabin with a sigh. "Finally. Things have calmed down- what the?!"

He stopped by the entrance, looking at the smooth, wooden walls and floor of what used to be earthen ground and decrepit interior.

"Jessica! I thought I told you not to magic my house," he exclaimed at the genie's innocent smile.

"I... didn't exactly transform your hut into something else." She shrugged her bare shoulders, now free from the loose robe. "It simply went through a speeded, natural process."

Roger pressed his lips together, wondering if she was going to wheedle her way through every boundary he would set.

"Now that the cabin's all polished and clean," she thrust her hand to Roger's direction and water blasted out in full force.

He yelped as he was thrown backwards. Sputtering, he tried to stand up. Only to get blasted back by a barrage of bubbles and foam. Jessica hummed, blasting him with water again.

Roger spat out soap and water, fur dripping wet. He caught himself just in time when hot air roared in his ears.

By the time Jessica was done, Roger stood shakily in a daze.

"I didn't know you're white," she said in surprised.

Roger tapped the side of his head, trying to get water out of his ears. "I don't know what's the issue with humans and that kind of thing." He jumped on one foot, tapping his temple again. "Us rabbits may be found everywhere, but we're just one race."

"No, I mean your fur. It's actually white."

Roger looked down on himself. "I sure know I ain't purple. I could never stay clean in this desert though. With the dust and the dirt and the heat and the wind." He scratched his temple. "I can wear robes to protect myself but I really don't mind."

"I can still fix that," Jessica said, lifting her hands again.

"Nope!" He ducked as fast as he could. It was probably why grime didn't seem to stick on her. "No magic!"

This was going to be some getting used to for the both of them.

XOXOXOXOX

As noble as Roger's cause was, Jessica couldn't forget her own.

"Do you have a wish tonight?" she asked after the day was done. After Roger had lain down on his hammock. He had tried to build her a bed. But after a swollen thumb and a what could only be called a badly-nailed-together planks, Jessica said she had never slept in a hammock before.

Laying in her own hammock, she glanced at Roger whose hammock was beside hers.

"None that I really wanted," Roger replied, looking up to the cabin's ceiling. He closed his eyes. "Sleep well, Jessica."

Jessica smiled. "Genies have no need for sleep. But-"

"Slumbering sure felt nice, doesn't it?" Roger asked in the dark.

She smiled. For some reason, she was certain Roger was also grinning.

XOXOXOXOX

If Roger was being truthful, he felt partly to blame for holding Jessica back. When she had said she wanted to be free, the longing in her voice was painful. She hadn't seem to be aware of it. But Roger certainly heard.

So after work, Roger decided to show her around town. It was a good thing Jessica gave him a surprise shower. The town barely recognized him. But at least he looked more presentable. He showed her the winding markets. The streets where the well-to-do live. Even the community well. Roger tried not to think of its lowering water level.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked as they walked back to the town square.

Jessica glanced at the cramped shanties. "I think the people are all crammed into this town."

Roger nodded. "I know. They're actually homeless." He shrugged, grimacing. "But where else can they live?"

There were almost to the cart when a burly guy bumped into Roger.

"Shitstain," the guy muttered, looking down at him.

Roger didn't miss a beat, putting on a zany grin. "That's because you don't wipe."

Jessica's eyes widened. But Roger kept walking so she followed him.

The man stopped. Turned around. His eyes widened, finally catching on what Roger meant. He stalked after him.

"Hey-" He suddenly howled in disgust, stepping on cow manure that wasn't there before.

Jessica turned away from the one-legged dance he was now doing and climbed aboard the cart. She stared pointedly at Roger who continued to hum.

"What?" he asked at her "he-could've-pummeled-you-dead" look. "It's how I cope."

She raised a brow. "By having a big mouth?"

Roger laughed and urged Benny forward, "And maybe a poopoo pocket."

XOXOXOXOX

Jessica couldn't help but count the many chances Roger could've wished it.

When Roger was lugging a barrel of water for the plants, Roger could've just wished it.

When Roger could have had a better equipment for planting and transport, Roger could've just wished it.

When the town thought he was crazy for planting in the desert, Roger could've just wished it.

But no. He carried that tank all the way to the saplings. He bought another shovel-axe. He continued on his way.

"Why do you always choose the hard way?" she one day asked.

He didn't even look up to the sapling he was tending. "Because it has to be earned."

Jessica pressed her lips together. Who on earth passes the chance for instant gratification?

Yet there was something satisfying in having planted seed. To see them sprout with the deadly desert surrounding. A small but significant defiance.

"I didn't know rabbits could climb trees," she poked at him as she watched him clamber up a trunk.

"The trick," he yelled, his ears covering over his eyes, "is not to look down."

He climbed higher and higher; until he got into the tender, young branches. "The cuttings from here can make instant saplings," he explained to her down below. "If I'm lucky, I can find their fruits and plant them," he gestured at the nearly skeletal tree he was on, "But it's not always the case."

As if to prove his point, the branch gave.

"Roger!"

Before she could think, she ran as he fell down screaming.

Roger didn't know what happened. One minute, he was clutching his cuttings. The next, he was falling.

"Oof!" Something caught him and Roger looked up to see Jessica's brilliant green eyes.

His heart drummed from the excitement. Jessica looked surprised and relieved.

"You didn't use your magic," he noticed.

She looked down at him in her arms. "I... I didn't," she said with a new layer of shocked.

"No one was here to catch me before," he said. Roger shifted, suddenly conscious that he was making her robe dirty. "You can put me down now."

She did and Roger turned back to the tree.

"I'm sorry about that, I'll have to water you more often," he promised, patting their trunks. Roger held the cuttings with care. "Don't worry, I'll take care of them."

Jessica couldn't help but smile. She had traveled the world in search of new experiences that the lamp had kept from her. But being with Roger might be a whole new experience on its own.

XOXOXOXOX

When it became clear to Roger that Jessica was there to stay, he knew he had to make some changes.

First, he had to plant more vegetables. He would also have to buy more things in the cabin. Probably had to repair some things in the cabin itself.

But Jessica was already way ahead of him.

"Where did you get that?"he asked when they were back in town, a basket full of food in one hand.

"Bought it," she replied. "Although I might've cheated a little." She did the swirly finger movement that she would do when granting wishes.

Roger shrugged, feeling a bit disappointed at himself for not providing better. "Everyone needs help in getting started."

"You're not mad?"

"It's either this or I'll find you zapping a farm in my backyard."

Jessica put a hand over her mirth. "You think you know me?" she asked, a smirk hinting in her words. Maybe working with her hands had been opening up some things she hadn't known about herself.

Roger stood up on his cart. "I'd like to think so," he said with a playful grin. "You think you know me?"

"I'd like to think so," she said back, a challenge dangling in her words.

In the following days, Roger had to admit. She was good at borrowing and bartering. Primarily through her charm. Every day that they would go to town, he would see her mingling in the marketplace. Roger had the feeling she was following her own code that wasn't exactly for the genies. He heard that Clarabelle always wanted a certain kind of scarf, and wouldn't you know it, Jessica coincidentally have a bolt of its fabric that Clarabelle could make out of her own hands.

Their cabin (Roger wondered when did he start thinking it as theirs), slowly began to fill with food and wares. His barrel of water became two and now comes with a spigot. After a lot of back and forth, Roger finally agreed to let others repair their home and a better outhouse.

"This way, you can focus on planting trees," Jessica said as Roger watched the men hammer away. She stood behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. "After all, everyone needs a little help."

He nodded, relieved that he was able to tuck away his belongings just in case. Roger looked up to see her smiling down at him.

His shoulders were suddenly hyper-aware of the gentle touch of her palms. He wasn't used to sudden changes and his friend was bringing it practically everyday.

It wasn't long before she caught the eye of the richest man in town.

XOXOXOXOX

Clarabelle had never been reminded of an exquisite vase and an earthen jar together than the two of them.

As the town gossip, her eyes never missed a thing. She'd seen the playful banter. She'd seen the dried mud rabbit imitate a zombie that had dug out of his grave as she gave the most tinkling laughter. Roger literally froze in hearing it, making him look like a mud statue. She'd seen Jessica towel him wet after work while he protested. There was an amused smirk in her lips but the smile in her eyes told Clarabelle a different story.

This friend of his that was simply visiting strangely had been staying for weeks. If he hadn't told anyone, they would've assumed he suddenly got a wife out of nowhere. But she was a friend, not a wife. Hence to why Lord Acme had taken interest.

Acme never missed a day Roger and Jessica would go to town. Roger became more subdued, putting down his head and working while Acme whisked her away to the rich part of town. By the time Roger was finished, Jessica would be back and laden with costly gifts.

Even at the distance from her stall, Clarabelle could see his forced smile as he helped her to the cart.

XOXOXOXOX

Jessica had always found silence to be peaceful. But Roger's silence was a bit unsettling. After all those times that he had chattered away for the both of them.

"Do you have a wish tonight?" she asked as they lay down in their respective hammocks. The question was becoming more of a habit than an inquiry.

"None that I could think of," he replied as he usually did.

This time, it was punctuated with a sigh.

"Jessica..." There was hesitation in his voice, something akin to preparing oneself. "You don't have to stay here."

She turned her head. Roger began to gesture with his hands, lost as he began to ramble.

"I mean, if I finally figured out what my real wish would be, I'll just go to ya. You're better off living with Acme. Genies are more used to luxury and in here, I can't give you much." He felt his face heat at what his words could be interpreted to. "As a friend. I can't give you much as a friend. I chose this life and there are times I wished I was doing something else for a living by the time I met you so that you'll be better off with me." He slapped a hand over his eyes. That doesn't sound so strange. "I mean you'll be better off with me. As friends."

Roger was certain Jessica could hear his heartbeat from her own hammock. The silence was too deafening as she just lay there.

He got confused when she sat up. Then terrified when she knelt down beside him, her face close to his.

"Roger," she said quietly in the darkness, "do you have a wish tonight?"

"None that I could think of," he managed to say over the lump in his throat. He swallowed, at the mercy of those watchful green eyes. "Do you have a wish tonight?"

Her slim fingers gripped the edge of his hammock. "Only if it's the same as yours."

His breath hitched when she lay her palm softly over his heart. The beats traveled through her fingerprints, over her arm. She sat on his hammock, cupping his cheek. Ever since she had been freed, she had been following her own choices. Her own whims. Her own wants getting more defined for the past weeks. This night, it was crystal clear this special kind of want burns.

"Your wish..." she thoughtfully murmured, looking at those vulnerable eyes, his emotions laid bare. Her hair draped like a waterfall as she leaned closer. "It's not a wish if it's true already."

Roger welcomed her as she closed the gap between them.

XOXOXOXOX

Twenty years had passed. Mighty acacias spread throughout the once dusty plains. With the vast forest giving shade, the climate changed. It rained more often with water vapor precipitating over the coolness the forest gives. The trees held back the soil from eroding, allowing the once-dead river to trickle with rainwater and slowly, it's course widened. Dry wells soon resounded with splashes of buckets and the town's water well rose several levels. Snakes and other hungry wild animals that had been considered pests, had left the town; preferring to have the the forest as their new home.

With their success in planting and farming, the other farmers began to listen.

"I'd never thought it was possible. But you made it, buddy," Wile E. Coyote said. He and Roger hanged back, letting the people mingle after Roger gave them lessons in his farming methods.

Roger rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess so." He brightened up. "I couldn't have done it without Jessica's help though."

"I must say, I know there had been a forest here before but I never thought it might be magical."

Roger froze at the word "magical". Jessica kept her word on never magicking trees and she did make sure she was being discreet. But still...

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Wile shrugged. "Perhaps I should live by the forest too. You don't seem to age."

Roger blinked. Wile smiled at him, his fur speckled with white. The laugh lines around his face etched deeper than he had noticed before. He looked around. The townspeople he had known for more than 20 years were suddenly cast in a new light. The skin sagged with fur dulling with white. Wrinkles that Roger was now becoming more painfully aware. And was Porky using a cane?

He looked down on himself. He still felt the same. Twenty years, and he still felt his same, old self; that didn't feel like twenty years had passed at all.

XOXOXOXOX

"Jessica!"

Jessica jolted, turning around to see Roger had returned home.

"Hello darling," she greeted. But Roger still looked worried.

"Have you done something to me?" he asked, spreading his arms.

Jessica tried not to smile. He would need to be clearer than that because she had certainly "done" him several ways. However, his troubled look made her humor paused.

"All my friends are getting old but I'm not! Jessica, what did you do!?" he asked, bewildered at the fact of his friends dying all around him; until he was the only one remaining.

"I... might've frozen your youth," she let out.

"Why didn't you ask first? Un-immortal me back!" he exclaimed.

Her eyes widened in hurt, her mouth tightening. "Why? You've been immortal before."

Roger stiffened. "What do you mean?" he carefully asked.

Jessica got up and opened one of the shelves. She carefully unrolled a lamp unlike her own. "You'd think I'd never found this while cleaning all these years?" She placed the lamp between them, it's top handle curved curiously like bunny ears. "When were you going to tell me you've been a genie before?"

Roger gaped at the familiar sight. Slowly, he cupped it; staring at its dull glow.

"I didn't want to look back," he finally said. "A genie must always grant wishes."

He looked up to her, realizing that she made him immortal for the same reason he wanted to be un-immortal-ed.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," he sighed. "I hadn't imagined what it would be like for you if I'm gone."

She knelt down and kissed his cheek. "How? Why?" Even after all these years, there was a lot of things she didn't know of her husband.

"It's a long story."

"I got an eternity," was her dry reply.

Roger grinned at her banter. He sighed, twirling the lamp in his hands. "Two hundred years ago, something peculiar occurred when I was still inside this." He held up the lamp. "Everything was still. Then everything began to bounce." He shook the lamp. "I really didn't know what was happening but it was definitely rubbing my lamp."

He sat down as Jessica listened. "I was summoned. But when I appeared, there was no one there." Roger laughed. "I was actually excited. I liked giving a good show."

"So what did you do?" Jessica asked.

"Well, at first I was confused because the genie code didn't say anything about that kind situation. Then I actually heard it, the voice of my new master. It was the forest itself. Or what was left of it." His rabbit ears drooped. "I saw telltale signs that humans used to live here. But they left because of the drought and famine. I zapped the land with greenery and the lamp pulled me back to my room."

"Just like what I would've done," she said, wondering where she had been during those times.

Roger nodded. "I wondered what would happen next. Who ever heard of being contractually bonded to a forest? During my stay in the lamp, I began to hear sounds of civilization back." He played with the spout of the rabbit-eared lamp. "During the next fifty years, my lamp must've been hidden by the soil. But I heard people living, hunting, going on with their lives."

Jessica could only relate to his tone of envy.

"Then I began to hear chaos. Screams. Fire. Like there was a war. A very long war." His eyes were wide. "I couldn't help. I think I heard the word conquering. But there was just silence after."

He gave an empty laugh. "There was rain, I think, and the dirt grains running against my lamp must've have summoned me back." His tone became hollow. "When I appeared, there was nothing again."

Jessica rubbed his back and Roger just exhaled. "Whatever tribes were fighting, they burned down the forest to kill each other. Trees have a high pain tolerance but still, I can hear the pain of the surviving trees."

He pushed out his hands in a familiar genie granting gesture. "So I granted the forest's second wish: to live." Roger gave a rare, ironic laugh. "The next fifty years, the people came back to the forest. Wiser. Unfortunately, greedier."

Jessica watched his thumbs rub against the dull brass. "They cut down the trees for their plains and overpopulated the grasslands with their bulls." He ran his finger over his hair and rabbit ears. "I understand they're trying to have a good life. But they took and took and took without giving back in return."

"So the last wish was..." Jessica lingered but it was already dawning on her.

"It was windy when I had been summoned once again for the last wish," Roger said. "The rough, dead grass must've rubbed over the exposed part of my lamp." He clutched both of his rabbit ears, remembering what happened. "The land was so much worse than before. I barely recognized it."

His fingers worried the lamp's handle. "The cries from what used to be the forest, was so faint. The land wasn't just dry. It was barren. But I knew the wish was the same."

Jessica sat back, surprised. "So you've been granting the forest's last wish for this past twenty years."

"I knew that if I just zapped the forest back, it'll just be gone again." He looked down on the ground, his ears lowering. "I had to make its last wish count."

"So you've made yourself mortal." Even when she said it outloud, she still couldn't grasp why.

"The mortals are the forest's hope. They need to learn that the forest needs them as much as they need it." Roger looked down. "It was a choice of giving the forest a wish that wouldn't last or a wish that would stay granted forever."

"But sacrificing your immortality? The Genie Code would've let you have the first option."

He shook his head. "That's not what the forest really wanted and I knew it. I thought for a long time before throwing away my immortality." Roger waved his arms around, remembering the surge of energy that would wrap around his hands. "To communicate to the mortals well, I have to be one. How can I understand why they keep doing such dangerous things if I have infinite cosmic powers?"

"What about death?" she pointed out.

Roger gave a self-deprecating laugh. "Perhaps I'm really the town crazy. But life inside a lamp is no life at all for me." He rubbed his arms. "It was hard in the first few years, alone and powerless. Then I met Wile. He helped me back on my feet."

A grin tugged his lips. "He always thought it was odd of me to live like a hermit in the middle of nowhere. But then again, the town considers him an eccentric for his scientific studies."

"So that's why..." Jessica said quietly. All along, there were hints here and there that Roger was a genie. She suddenly have a flash of insight.

"Roger," she said, holding his arm. "You did it. You granted the forest's last wish. The mortals are now learning how to take care of the forest." She smiled at him. "You're free."

He only give her a troubled smile. "Am I really? Mortals can be so unpredictable."

"They learned their lessons. They're learning your ways. Just say the word. I'll grant your wish and we can be free. Together."

He stilled. Jessica pushed forward.

"I can wish you back into a free genie. Don't you think you need a little reprieve?"

Roger fell silent and looked out of the window. "Mortals are so simple and so complicated."

"Do you know we have a mirror?" Jessica dryly asked.

He laughed. The mortals may have to prove themselves first. But for now...

Roger took her hand and kissed it. "Just a little longer, Jessica."

THE END.

Author's Note: This story has been sitting in my backburner for far too long. Have a good Sunday, guys. Read more fanfics here.

[dearlytea]

not being funny blackbears got the best shit, gonna go and listen to the afterglow EP now whoops, my music taste is so damn varied its unreal but i love seeing people with similar tastes to me makes me happy (and with p!atd, ballad of the mona lisa was my morning alarm for so long pains me to listen to it but hey so worth the pain), ill come to you about any good music i find, love you!!!!xoxoxoxox - eden

BALLAD OF THE MONA LISA YOU BEAUTIFUL BEING!!!!! It’s currently my ringtone and Emperor’s New Clothes is the ringtone for my favorited contacts. Blackbear is sooo good. HIS ACOUSTICS FOR WEAK WHEN UR AROUND, IDFC AND DIRTY LAUNDRY IS SO GOOD. I sang a cover of Dirty Laundry with a friend and it was so much fun : ‘(

 omg yes come at me b, if I got anything new il tell you the next time you come around my inbox uwu. Also i get you with the music taste thing cause most people I meet don’t know Eden so I’m glad I have an intellectual! Do you like edm by any chance and if so what specifically? I’m mixed with a lot of things but I lean more with chillstep.

[lukefirthcelebrant]

Awwwwww thanks to all my beautiful couples for not only trusting me to be part of the celebration of your relationship, but also taking the time to vote for me. It is such an honour, a pleasure and also humbling. Xoxoxoxox (at Perth, Western Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWKEAUQPtFO/?utm_medium=tumblr

[atmymercy]

Feedback

Hii sis!!!! im glad that youre doing great! Im doing well too, thank you for the reading!>o<

Im very perfeccionist lol and if we are alike i bet that youre perfectionism too right?? lolol thank you for the advice!! I'm taking too long to make my crochet bag because it doesn't turn out the way I wanted, it's quite painful to be a perfectionist, right? but a small good side of all our heads judging us is that we learn more and the work we do is well done

And about the reading I hadn't connected the dots of why im being so indecisive about things and made totaI sense, i can't take responsibility for my own decisions and thats im afraid of that negative part, its really true! I really admire people who can handle their responsibilities because i don't know how to use my brain very well rationally i'm very ""dumb"" and one of the reason of it is the fear of making mistakes and end up messing up or doing big mistakes and and end up disturbing the people around me... in the end i missed many many good opportunities because of that lol but this homework there is very painful sis lol, I didnt understand at the beginning why I have to write positive things about myself and I confess that it is very difficult but I understand that this is important to build confidence to dont 🏃‍♀️💨 of the responsibilities so i will do it!

Take care and i hope you have a good week xoxoxoxox

hello p!

good! i'm glad you're feeling good, lil sis! perfectionism has its perks and downfalls. the more you acknowledge that the easier it is to see how it can also be bringing you down. why? because as much as you fear making mistakes, mistakes are actually a superpower! the ability to make a mistake and still love yourself is a gift! a gift we all have but don't always appreciate. mistakes are meant to be, honey! you making a mistake isn't just a mistake, it's a learning chance! every time you avoid something because of a mistake or you may look "dumb", is a moment! a gift! a learning opportunity! that you didn't take.

by abstaining from such decisions, you stay the same. you don't grow. and we both know you are meant for growth, honey! stagnancy is what creates all this anxiety, depression and worse, more fears. so my wish for you is that you let yourself feel dumb! by feeling dumb, we can understand so much more.

have fun with your list, honey! and thank you! i can't excited for my good week! woot! you too on your week!

love & light!

-tea

[vintydolls]

This is Elaine from @hopeslittlebowtique (the best headband maker in the whole entire universe) and today is her BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! We love you so very very much!!!! You bring so much happiness, guidance and friendship to everyone around you. I can’t count the amount of times you have been there for me through thick in thin, I thank our lucky stars you came into our life. I hope you have the most magnificent day today and that you get spoilt rotten with lots of fabulous goodies. Love always and forever Angie and the girls xoxoxoxox https://www.instagram.com/p/CT3BtMXh8Bv/?utm_medium=tumblr

[christineelise]

Nine years ago today - I came home from a 6 hour day on the set of Castle to find my pug, Grisbi, dead in my bed - pretty much where he is in this photo. He was 4. No explanation. He was not ill & could not get on my bed unassisted - so - I know he was there ever since I'd left. A sad mystery & he is forever missed! He was a sweetheart & a comedian. I love you, Grisbi!!! xoxoxoxox 🐾💔🐾 https://instagr.am/p/CSo37ieLk72/