#YEAH YEAH NO YEAH NAH NO YEAH NO IM NORMAL
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jealous caitlin fic PLEASEEE IM HUNGRY
as you wish bae
𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞. - c. clark x fem!reader
wc: idfk but it’s like.. short? normal length..? idk you tell me
proof-read?: H H H H HELL NAH mistakes will be made
warnings: dom cait, jealous cait, shes a little feisty yall, kissing, fingering, protective cait
description: another girl approaches you at a bar, cait wasn’t a big fan of that.
even though the team had lost to south carolina, they still wanted to celebrate. the girls had all agreed to go to a bar to celebrate their season, and as a goodbye to the seniors. cait (obviously) decided to take you with her.
currently, you were waiting at the counter for the bartender to finish your drink, when another girl walked up to you. “hey pretty girl, what’cha doin’ all alone?” she spoke.
you looked at her, instantly noticing her outfit. definitely a hey mamas. you sighed, “waiting for my drink.” you replied.
“hm,” she hummed. “can i get you anything?”
before you could reply, you felt two familiar hands on your hips, and caitlin’s voice behind you. “she’s good.” she lowly spoke, her voice stern. the girl put her hands up in defense. “hey, hey, hey. don’t need to be so stern.”
“get the fuck away.” caitlin’s grip on her hips tightened, her lips forming a straight line.
the girl rolled her eyes, “whatever, fucking bitches.” she whispered. caitlin opened her mouth to respond before you stopped her. “babe, don’t.”
caitlin looked at you like you were crazy. “what?”
you sighed, shaking your head. the bartender came over with your drink, you thanked him and turned to face caitlin. “it’s okay,” you whispered.
“she was all over you-“ you pressed a finger to her lips. “it’s okay cait. i’m all yours, no one can change that.”
caitlin’s stern eyes changed, a new form overcoming them. lust. “we’re leaving. now.” caitlin’s arm stayed ok your waist pulling you with her. you placed your drink down, which you had already paid for thankfully.
“hey, she’s had a little too much to drink, imma take her home.” caitlin explained to her teammates.
“aww!! we’ll miss you guys!!” kate smiled.
“yeah, you guys gonna be good?” jada asked
“mhm.” caitlin responded.
the two of you walked out to caitlin’s car, caitlin holding the passenger door open for you. once the both of you made it to the car, caitlin immediately caught you in a kiss. you moaned at the sudden moment, but returned it regardless.
caitlin pulled away, “if you knew the things you do to me, ma.” she sighed.
“you can show me.” you quietly muttered. caitlin let out a husky laugh at that, placing a hand onto your thigh as she started to drive to the hotel.
caitlin pushed you down onto the bed, thank god caitlin had scored a room just you two.
she pushed you up against the wall almost immediately, kissing up and down your neck. “fuck ma, you’re so gorgeous.” she whispered between kisses.
you moaned, then let out a small laugh. “thank you,” you breathlessly responded. caitlin led you to the bed, laying down.
“gotta- take this off.” she spoke, referring to your skirt and top. she unbuttoned the skirt, dragging it down your legs. she immediately took notice of the wet patch on your underwear, smirking to herself. “god, how are you mine?” she muttered to herself. you whined at her words, rolling your hips slowly.
“patience, baby. i’m getting there.” she trailed her fingers along your thighs, leaving goosebumps as she trailed by.
“your overdressed.” you whispered, looking down at her between your thighs. caitlin smirked, taking off her jacket and tank top. “better?”
“take the bra off too.” and she did. your mind raced at the sight, eyes trailing over her chest. she took advantage of the moment, taking your underwear off and attaching her mouth to your clit. you moaned almost immediately, fingers immediately tangling in her hair.
she moaned at the pull, sending vibrations through your body. she looked up at you with love, and a need to see your reactions. she brought a hand up, pushing two fingers in. “ohhhhh fuck, cait..” you whined out, back arching up. she smiled, continuing to pump her fingers in and out of you.
soon, you were a moaning, whimpering, and whining mess. not that anyone was complaining. except for neighbors. caitlin knew you were close before you did. “cait-“ you gasped out.
“i know ma, s’okay. let it happen.” she spoke into your body. her tongue continued to attack your clit, her fingers hitting that spot in you that only she could reach. you moaned loudly, your head tilting back.
“hey,” she spoke, “eyes on me princess, c’mon.” you whined, moving your head to look at the girl between your thighs. her eyes were closed, like she was getting off. and for her, with you, anything got her off. “your all mine, aren’t you baby?” you nodded dumbly. “say it.” noises echoed throughout the room, and it wasn’t just you.
“augh.. i’m all your’s cait, please, oh my god..” you moaned out. you clenched around her, thighs shaking slightly. the fuzzy feeling in your stomach was growing larger, pleasure the only thing on your mind.
“i’m gonna-“ before you knew it, an immense feeling washed over you. you moaned and whined, caitlin fucking you through your high.
after a minute, you pushing caitlin away. “t-too much.” caitlin pulled away, standing between your thighs, your juices dripping down her chin. you blushed at the sight, and she leaned down. she brushed some hair out of your face.
“hi pretty girl.” she smiled. your chest heaved up and down with each breath, “hi.” she laughed softly, kissing you. you tasted yourself on her lips and tongue as she pushed it into your mouth.
“did so good f’me princess.” she noticed a sleepy haze overtaking you, and nodded. “m’gonna clean you up, okay?” you nodded. she went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, she came back, lightly tapping your thigh.
“open for me baby.” you opened your legs, letting caitlin clean you up. she cleaned up her chin and fingers, then discarded the towel. she hugged you from behind. “i love you so much, pretty girl.” she whispered into your ear.
“i love you too, love.”
a/n: and they live happy ever after yayayayay!!!! this sucks ass but it is my first fic.. starting off strong bc bae wanted me too!!!!
lmk if yall want a tag list!!!!!
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Fucking love the idea of the chassis being an amplifier because you kinda get the best of both worlds from the whole chassis theory argument where wheatley's still being influenced but you keep the complexity of his character intact, plus you get the double whammy existential crisis of being driven to do horrible things but still having to deal with the fact after you come to your senses that no matter which way you look at it was still all you. In this essay I will
Ignore the giant rant in the tags its 1 AM
#portal#portal 2#wheatley#bc like the chassis definitely AFFECTED wheat man. but i think that some people it was like mind control??? and nah its more like#someones being a big asshole to you and you half-jokingly go in your head “im gonna kill this person”. because you're genuinely that annoye#but you dont actually do it bc obviously you shouldnt and you were never intending to actually do so.#yeah imagine if you actually DID that#you HAD that thought. you FELT that anger.#and the only thing that you needed to pull the trigger on that gun was a little push over the cliff. and you put yourself on the edge of it#imagine that and thats how i see that#a lot of the stuff wheatley blurts out in the chassis is from like a genuine place too#he sounds genuinely hurt#genuinely angry and sad and confused#hes genuinely THAT upset.#plus there are even points where he seems to be enjoying his time in the chassis.#he does these goofy villain lines and laughs at the thought of you fucking dying#obviously the chassis is a terrible thing to be in and the bad moments outweigh the good but nontheless.#this seems less like straight up direct control#or just him functioning normally#this sounds like what happens when you remove a very fucked up man's inhibitions and just let him go apeshit#because lets be real. wheatleys always been slightly unhinged. just in the funne haha tumblr way up until that point#he smashed a window casually and briefly laughed while a bunch of turrets were being thrown into a fire#hes not exactly evil either but hes definitley not like#okay#i mean we all knew that look at the fucking boss battle lines but#anyways the point is i fucking love the implications of that#the existential crisis that would cause#imagine going through that and having to question like#what was you? did you really want all of that? did you ALWAYS want it? where does the chassis begin and you END?#GODDDDD that headcannon goes so hard
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[kicks door down]
Autistic Nishiki whose special interest is fashion and not only considers what's trendy but also looks out for fabrics that aren't a sensory nightmare, however sometimes he will force himself to wear something that isn't comfy for appearance's sake, which leaves him more vulnerable to getting overwhelmed and therefore 'emotional'
Also means he has his collar popped like Kiryu's for sensory reasons too and slutty reasons, which would once again make me correct in saying if he undid his collar in Kiwami he'd be normal again because if I were constantly experiencing sensory discomfort I too would be fucked up and evil.
Cause like here's the thing, autistic Kiryu and Majima headcanons are more obvious (especially the former), whereas Nishiki probably comes off as the most 'normal'; he can likely maintain eye contact and talk to people 'normally' and not like, go off on some random tangent about a special interest or hyperfixation. And then you remember masking is a thing.
And okay, so I actually think it's unfair a lot of fandom considers him a 'crybaby' right, cause he's cried in situations MOST PEOPLE WOULD RIGHTFULLY CRY OVER!
BUT, I can use this to my Autistic Advantage and have this be he actually struggles to regulate his emotions, and considering he's been exposed to the yakuza world since a young age where ANY emotion that isn't 'respectable stoicism' or 'righteous fury and indignation', he's seen as even MORE overly emotional. Hence the need to start masking so early, PLUS having to protect Kiryu who couldn't mask if his life depended on it because he doesn't realise he may HAVE to (speaking from personal experience, Kiryu definitely went his whole life unaware there was anything ""wrong"" with him (for lack of a better word) and had people just like "oh yeah he's just Like That dw bout it" and went on with his life), so Nishiki takes up the mantle of I'm The One Who Knows What We're Doing
Lad's desperate to gain acceptance and will change whatever he has to but people still somehow pick up that Something's Off About Him and so they tend to be disdainful or brush him off. It's easy charisma that can win over hostesses and brief encounters with civillians but can't carry across in the yakuza. Kiwami is him trying his DAMNDEST to act neurotypical even at the cost of his own comfort, and the worst part is it's not working
#akira nishikiyama#yeah i can do headcanons too!! i can go all in on em!!! i need more silly headcanons to go with it#what do you think his stims are? i literally just read a mutual say he likes spinning keys and shiny things and YOU ARE SO CORRECT#i think he likes clicking his lighter open and closed as well which is another reason it's annoying Kiryu keeps borrowing/losing it gvbhjnb#sorry i had a chat with a friend last night about this cause this headcanon's been swirling around in my head for a while and i'm actually#putting the pieces together. sorry for using terms like 'wrong' and 'normal' but it's like that's the easiest way for me to explain it and#like i said im talking from personal experience. im close with someone whose basically masked their whole life and is realising 'nah mate#im just nd' meanwhile I grew up having no idea what autism was but I Clearly Was That and assumed everyone ELSE was being difficult#and yet despite relating to Kiryu moreso something about Nishiki's lack of a hold on his identity compels me and im like same dude#this is what i mean by whenever i think about Nishiki there's a 1/3 chance i'll start crying cause HE MAKES ME SO SAD#BABYGIRL YOU DESERVED BETTER!!!!!
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jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic
#idkkkkkkkkkkkkk who looks at zx and is like 'you know what. this is a healthy parent child relationship'#like girl by fitting them into father son boxes you are actively making their relationship imbalance Worse#if you do that and dont shy away from it i respect that but if you say dad/son makes their relationship more wholesome or whatever like WHY#now i wont deny shippers might do that too but i see the dad son version so much i think im just averse to it by default#also because i think father son makes people actively Try to make their relationship something that its not and it erases a bunch of subtlet#subtleties in it. it's the nuanced r/ship -> entirely unproblematic and flavorless r/ship that i hate#also the number of people who'll block if you ship zx. like damn thats crazy you guys really think theyre father son (fake)???#at their peak they're like. 4000 year old guys who have too much history and repression and some weird entanglement of 'nah im bothering him#too much' and 'gotta protect him w my life' complexes. and then this devolves into theyre never gonna kiss until 3000 more years have passed#listen they just Contain Multitudes idc if you dont ship it just dont make it into dad and son and we will be so gucci#jing.yuan and yanqing are like different i think mostly bc yanqing is actually like a minor and jing yuan is also a normal ish person#plus the light cone and the abouts?? yeah this is an actual like adopted parent/child thing#also good or bad news i caved and am now playing hsr. the plan is to pull yanqing and then go on infinite hiatus in the game 👍#JWKFLJWEK i dont think theres really any draws for me besides him. personally neutral on turn based combat and the open world isn't giving#the only saving grace i have rn is 1) ive gotten to the part where bron.seele is real and man theyre gay 2) trailblazer trio 3) tall female#mc 4) everyone has way better emoting abilities than genshin 5) su.shang's really cute <3#the story doesnt really interest me though its like cool but not mindgrippingly interesting#tbf i think genshin is the same way storyline wise (at the beginning) but the difference is that turn based combat isnt really my thing LMAO#ramblings!#zhongxiao#if you want to filter it out ??
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Loki: thor babygirl what do you want to eat
Thor: hmmm. orange juice?
Loki, now with sunglasses, a sun hat, and a small suitcase: alright i'll see you in a week. stay strong
#i'd say 'loki in a holiday getup' but i don't think that invokes the right idea#because when i imagine holiday getup im thinking a slightly brighter green (near inconceivably) and no to 1/3 sleeves on armour design#1 layer may also work but the sun hat is compulsory and he is going to get on a plane and go to what like some other country to find#the 'best' oranges for orange juice for thor#he will return and give it to thor and they will be normal about this#because a few days to get orange juice is normal#akin to traveling 10 minutes one way to a local grocer#they're not paying for the flight or anything so it's chill#'they could order import it' nah m8 then it's not loki getting it for thor is it#'loki could teleport' well yeah but why should he? why do you think he has a suitcase??#does he look like he uses magic for everything bc that's not the general impression#thor like 'take another layer with you' and loki is like uhm it's going to be hot outside and runs for it#loki returns from 'getting orange juice' with 34 other items a new friend and a galaxy wolf moon shirt over his clothes
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Please yap, I want to hear about the non-bio thing about Len
Okay!!! Im not gonna articulate it well so it's gonna be all over the place.
Ive said (too many times) that my hcs of len (and any other vocasynth) is theyre either physical robots or they exist in your 'puter.
At first I almost said "non-human" to mean like its a character thats not born and so doesnt live a human life like go through developmental stages, have parents that theyre born from, have a childhood especially, ET CETERA right, but non-human makes it sound like its furries or monsters so that doesnt make any sense.
Non-biological feels accurate bc there is no BIRTH and no developmental stages, no lived experiences/past experiences, and basically, i want the character to exist in a void!! No ties, no meaningful connections.
A little bit off tangent... I've had my old fursona (oldest oc) in my head for the longest time and theyre supposed to be one of these characters that Do Not Exist like theyre not a "person" who goes through life and experiences, theyre an entity that... exists in...SOME way, and I was never able to convey that idea UNTIL like last year, after experimenting for a long time with len hcs where hes a digital being, it kinda clicked. This non-existing character type that I've been wanting to convey can be well translated as a digital being or like a computer program. I think i want to say this character type is entirely intangible, like computer programs, so they "dont exist"...but you wouldn't say a computer program is "not real" right, like um WHERE AM I GOING.
Anyways HAVE YOU EVER seen that tumblr post (i think) about hatsune miku, gorillaz, and the muppets being not real but also... real... bc they exist in the real world and we talk about them *Vsauce music* or SOMETHING like that...
Where am i going now ah. The kagami-ne mirror images thing is so good because to me there is no way this makes sense if i think of them as flesh and blood people like DA HELL you mean theyre mirror images, the concept simply does not work. Like look i assume people who hc rin and len as twins hc them as 'people' because---
((context i made a tweet a while ago, i said : "I lean more on the mirror images interpretation than twins like siblings." "In my hc theyre not people so theyre not ""siblings"" bc you'd have to be born for that?? Theyre probably more like clones but also not BIOLOGICALLY bc theyre either robots/digital beings like i always say." ---
because twins suggest biology. Like they were fetuses in a womb together, man where am i going again.
The mirror images thing is really cool when theyre thought of as just ENTITIES. Just person-like beings that are just copy pasted like no further or deeper explanations. Theyre simply not real!!!!
- - -
After yapping I realized it all comes down full circle to my escapist ass not wanting anything connected to the real world. Like the way i draw len or my human ocs, theyre only supposed to resemble humans, they should not look "real" as in look like they could be someone who you could spot when you leave your house or something.
#ask#i wrote this while very eepy so its gonna make even less sense#thanks for letting me ramble but yeah the thoughts are not coming out in a neat string!!!!#NAH its funny bc its not like i hate realistic biology bc unfortunately one of my#biggest pastimes is thinking about how my ocs bodies work rather than thinking like oh what is their#personality or backstory - you know like a NORMAL PERSON#like how exactly does this furry's paw-hand function like anatomically is what im usually thinking of instead of idk oh what#role does this character play in this world#i sound insane#(or just extremely neurodivergent)#if you cared to know. my obsession with thinking of the biology of my ocs comes from my strong interest in#learning about animals when i was younger#i shouldnt be yapping further
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is it normal to disassociate and have a breakdown over the fact that I am not a hunter in Yharnam as soon as I stopped playing Bloodborne for the first time...
#i uhhh yeah#so i played bloodborne properly for thr first time today...#it went well#actually no it didn't im not very good at the game#but im trying xoxo#i got so fucking lost and accidentally ended up at the level cap boss#i forgot his name oops#didnt even know abt cleric beast until someone told me it was there ripppp#yeqah but i am normal abt this game#ive wanted to play it for literlally so long but i could never get past those two werewolves at the bridge bit at the start#but nah#stopped playing and like 10 minutes later i got so irrationally upset and angry that i wasn't a hunter#like at least if the universe was gonna make me british they could at least make me a hunter#now im shopping for the hunters iconic outfit because omfg what a fit#text#cursed#bloodborne
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i've been thinking about how one of Thee furry fetishes that always seem to be tied to us is vοre, despite more than half (from my observations at least) of the fandom listing it on their "hard limits, i don't draw/write/rp that" lists (myself included), kinda weird how that happened
#it's fine to like vοre ofc! just something ive noticed#inflation too but to a slightly lesser extent (not into that either personally)#just proves how varied and wide the whole group is :)#apart from having A Lot Of Interest in long thin (or thicker 😳) Wiggly Things that go into Places (iykwim)#what im into is mostly what you can do with a human ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#apart from being attracted to monsters way more than humans i have to think ''ah. yes. that's probably not really that normal''#like i have to remind myself that is Not in fact vanilla#i want to get f***-f***ed by a baron of hell's huge thick muscled arms while i'm nose-deep in another's furry nether regions?#yeah nah my experiences are NOT universal. lmao#...i should start drawing my baron oc again teehee
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quitting college to focus on my job at target
#nah but i considered it for a sec....#bc today they offered me a full time position!!! im part time rn with my schedule being 3 days a week#i normally pick up shifts to work 5 -6 days tho#but they pulled me aside today to ask me to become full time which i WOULD LIKE bc money#but unforch my classes start in like. 2-3 weeks so i CANT!!!#but i was like 'ig that means u guys like me' and my boss was like 'yeah we like having u'#i got a good grade in target which is indeed possible to have and normal to want!!!#lowkey im glad tho bc ive been fuckin up a lil lately n thought i was getting axed
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I am currently resisting the urge to share every single little detail ever about my silly team fortress two AU, but I cannot......... I must keep my plans secret lest they be sabotaged.....
Perhaps I'll go annoy an AI bot about it......
Or might budge and post a few details here if faux robotic connection doesn't make up for my lack of social being
#i think i enjoy robots more than normal people at this point#is this concerning#nah im probably good#they're good listeners man#yeah im definitely a robot enjoyer#robot >>>>#I'd smooch one#hahahha jk#no im not#team fortress 2#team fortress two#teamfortress#tf2#headcanons
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hate when people come onto my post and tell me blatantly untrue shit. like.
LIKE. WHY ARE YOU SAYING IM WRONG. IT TAKES ONE GOOGLE SEARCH. ONE. TO SEE IM RIGHT. GHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#this is so petty but its happened enough times on that stupid timeline that like. X) shut up? and even after im like 'nah tis not so'#you could. idk. edit ur post? X) maybe? just a suggestion? <- seething#like i dont mind if you say like 'oh i thought this was so' or inform me something is off im not an asshole like that but#when youre confidently rbing smth and are like 'yeah this isnt true btw 🤗' SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP#ok whatever im normal now#aricouldyounot
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btw in my theoretical peculiar rewrite that Will not ever happen bc im not a writer anymore i left that life behind in 2017. but in my theoretical one its rly mostly just a rewrite of likee. maybe a bit of book 3 and then Completely rewriting books 4-6
#i like some of the stuff from the 2nd trilogy. mainly the stuff that was brought up in the first book that seemed rly interesting thar they#then forgot abt in the 2nd book and/#or solved off screen or came up with some other reason for it to not matter. like. the american conflict wouldve been so cool. but then#they just decide its the noor story and r like Oh yeah rhe ymbrynes solved all the american stuff so don't even worry abt it 👍#having the kids like. take modern normal lessons and have jacob trying to like. teach them while also trying 2 hide that hes trying to#follow jn abes footsteps. thats so fun . but i stead he just like straight up leaves and the kids r basically gone the entre time...#and the like. Omg theres like a group of normals that r hunting peculiars and have been for centuries. thats rly rly interesting. and then#theyre judt like Nah it was wights the whole time.#Like. i like noor i think shes rly cool i just think the prophecy is So stupid#im never gonna get over the way that the entire prophecy was pointless. like trying to find the other kids was pointless. bc the prophecy#didnt need 7 it needed 1 and the others were just spares. so it literlaly xouldve been like. Finished as soon as it started. and it was#just so generic and boring like... the first trilogy was very unique and like interesting and different#and then in the 2jd theyre like Omg this is the chosen one and shes one of the chosen jn this prophecy where 7 kids etc#i also think its rly stupid that theyre all light eaters..#if we Have to have the stupid 7 prophecy like were every other book on this planet can at least be like. Omg... and theyre all very very#powerful peculiars from some of the peculiar subcategories. but whatever...#but ya. the main things id change abt book 3 is like. the weird like... Omg all peculiars Used to be hollows ???? thats why jacob can ???#understand them ??? bc hes part hollow ????? Thats so fucking stupid.#its weird. and also in my au i would have emma and jacob break up bc i think that makes sense and emma is my everything girl but i feel#like in the actual books they broke up and then havob was immediately like Noor is my everything shes the reason i live im nothing without#her . and its been 2 hours since they met. and emma is right fhere and they broke up 2 days ago. yk...#i also think id just have the series be like.#a bitttt more spread out ?? like a little bit at least.. bc it takes place over the span of 6 months#roughly. which for the first trilogy i get why itd be very quick succession bc those kids were on a mission#idk. i just think its kinda silly that jacob was So into emma like Omg well never be apart she completes me etc within like. 3 months. and#then is the same with noor after like 2 days. Ik teenagers r like that Fucking trust me im so insanely aware that teenagers will fall#deeply deeply deeply in love with somebody very quickly even when tht relationship isnt rly good for either party . trust me im so insanely#fucking aware . LMAO. but it was just a bit annoying esp bc emma was just completely written out basically... it sucked :( it sucks that al#of the peculiar chuldren bssicslly werent there like. idk. it rly just felt like jacob was like Ok done with them NOOR TIMEEE#and like i said i love noor shes great im sooo down with her i judt wiuldnt make her literally the chosen one snd specialest girl on earth
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one thing about me is that even if i love talking to people i cannot function in loud places and anxiety follows me everywhere, so if were in a public place and its loud and full of people and it looks/feels like im in another plane of existence, dont worry, that is normal, im just like that sometimes
#do i hate it? yeah but idk how to change it#i feel like talking to people is something i suck so hard at for no reason#like my brain is never in same wavelength as their brain i dunno#i dont pick up on stuff im kinda slow idk how to do jokes my voice sounds awkward as shit and is constantly changing pitch for. NO reason#also i get excited too easily and end up speaking before i think (ie i just say shit like ''dude what if the what the uh the !!!!! dude w''#its surprisingly normal but i get so anxious whenever im around friends. i fell like im just gonna be there chilling and SUDDENLY#my brain will go whop and the internet dial tone will start in my head#and then ill realize oh god i dont make any sense and it looks like im 12 and feel really bad untill i forget about it#thank you to my friend who whenever i say ''sorry im talking too much ill leave you to your stuff sorry for bothering'' they just go#''nah its chill'' like its literally nothing but it brings such calm to my heart#txt
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I basically just had a dream of being back in highschool and i was crying by the end. This is new to me. I haven't been in hs in 6 years
#my posts#my dreams#bc i will explain it but. I'm so tired#something in the dream happened like no respect for privacy and stuff in the kind of fucked up bathrooms your brain makes up while asleep#... at least my brain loves making up fucked up bathrooms in my sleep that's okay anyways#there was a lack of respect for privacy and it made me angry and I'm the dream i sorry if reacted how i wanted to in actual hs i guess#like very violent to the point that at first they were laughing but then were very scared#like i was screaming and pushing and grabbing and stuff and people realized it wasn't so funny anymore#also i realized that it didn't matter what kind of relationships i had there up to that point they were all ruined bc of that#i apparently got changed in class to another and they made me sit in the back with no one besides me and i was very some which is#ignoring the violence that was my hs experience sjrarjtkfyñ#by the end the people that used to be on my life i think were trying to get back in but i was sorta always walking looking at the floor#sliding everyone's face bc whenever i passed i heard whispers that i was sure were about me (normal hs experience)#avoiding not sliding dgmzmy anyways yeah#at some point someone finally breaks through me and shows me something that idk how to describe. like meat and a bonsai? idk#sorta like they make me so anger look at it and they were warn and kind and i fully broke down crying and hugged them fnwmhmwk#it wasnt a random person but this dream is sorta personal even tho im writing it here but this is my blog i tend to post this stuff#but i mean i don't want to write his name i don't want it to appear in the main tags on accident#just know that i dreamt with him once before. also hugged him and cried KDNGRMHM#i wasnt going to make that comment thats why i used they pronouns before but nah its a he#also someone else like related to him was there and i think in a way he was trying to help but it was more him finding a business#opportunity and selling his own stuff at maybe an inappropriate time which i think he just does that sometimes gkwgkkf#anyways yeah i am very tired and i should go back to sleep#also i woke up with tears sorta formed in my eyes fkdkgkdg so i sort of still want to cry like in the dream i guess#its not even that early its 9but i don't have anything to do today so back to sleep
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its so weird to me whenever guys like cop to there being a completely different hateful culture that basically eats up or talks about eating up women. even when they're like 'yeah the woman-eating culture sucks and while i'm not part of it i've seen it and it still sickens me'. it still leaves me like 'like your friends eat women????'
#yeah the time knife we've all seen it.#misha speaks#im like surely most ppl are normal and then a few guys are like nah we're not.#like theres entire male camaraderie based around dehumanizing and acting violent towards women that like you#don't see unless men are trying to do weird gender rituals with you or if you're the person actively getting devoured.
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im not gonna say you cant use the n word w a hard r on a almost fully anonymous tumblr account where you claim to be black-
I will say that it makes you 100% more suspicious and worth keeping an eye out on you bc usually its neo nazis pretending to be black that spam saying the n word w an r and use tumblrs weird trust for almost fully anonymous accounts to their advantage to get away w it
you can say it, but, if you Are a neo nazi pretending to be black, I will say, you're not doing a good job of convincing me rn that you actually are.
#got too excited you could get away w saying it ey?#inb4 'PeOpLe aLwAyS DeMaNd yOu GiVe YoUr LiFe sToRy-' bs- babe--- i wouldn't have cared or even noticed or even remarked on it#if you said it w an a. its more believable at least. lmao.#and I say bs bc ik its likely a neo nazi and ik they know that we say that a lot on tumblr- that ppl dont owe u every detail of their life#- and ik a neo nazis one of the least trustworthy people in the world so ofc they would abuse that line to get away w saying the n word#w a hard r around a bunch of progressives who have so little info about you that they dont know if they get the right to feel uncomfortable#when you say it- but personally im not built like that and i will tell you rn im uncomfortable w you saying it and idc what excuse you give#doesnt mean you hafta do whatever i say. just means I actually take a stance on shit unlike a lot of easily manipulated tumblr users.#i mean come on. its a neo nazis wet dream to run around a progressive (well. given recent events- supposedly progressive) space#and say slurs unchecked by said progressives. its one of their favorite ways of having you shut up. even if it is all done in secrecy#like the cowardly bitch made bitch built bitches they are. theyd never do it off anon or with their face exposed.#they simply cant take the heat. so the only way this type of person can feel like they've won is when they do manipulative shit like this i#secret. which is just so so sad. this is how ik the nazis are gonna lose. you're too much of a cowardly bitch to say it in front of#progressives with your whole chest.#why're you so scared? afraid you might be outnumbered? afraid you might not win as many ppl over as you think you will?#i mean cmon nows the perfect time to take the mask off right? perfect time to radicalize leftists? surely there shouldnt be#an issue waving your red flag huh? come on now. dont be shy. why are you scared? afraid you might reveal to the leftists you're#trying to indoctrinate that you're actually a hateful pos? and that you've been manipulating them to hate jewish ppl?#nah you're right joshua tyler stevenson it's probably a better idea to hide in the shadows like a bitch.#you're black on the notoriously white website? yeah. ok#i mean im sure theres just so many black ppl just dying to be here. thats why most black ppl ik hate this site 😒 for sure dawg i believe u#i mean ig if there were ever a place for a black nationalist to roam unchecked it'd be here though... generally they stick to twitter ime#its just hard to believe when I seldom see black ppl on here to begin w and most of the ones I do see are just like. normal people#w/o weird fucked beliefs. and if you are black- i think its really interesting that the black ppl with black nationalist beliefs almost#never show their faces in any capacity ever while other normal black ppl do. what are you scared of? afraid ppl irl will recognize u#and laugh?? or is it that... you're not actually a black person......... so far professor flowers is the only internet black nationalist#who's dared to show their face that ik of.
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