#YOU AREN'T SURE YOU DESERVE IT?!?!?!

[lonelyzarquon]

[2boldlyqueer]

Listen, I know we're all exhausted, but we gotta get better about adding image descriptions to disability related stuff. Everyone should be IDing everything anyways, but there's a particularly cruel irony in disability related stuff not being accessible to folks with low/no vision.

[uncanny-tranny]

So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.

Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.

[pencilofawesomeness]

Yui lies awake for an indeterminable amount of time, watching shadows make patterns on the ceiling above them. The heartbeat against her fingertips beats a constant tattoo against her skin, a reminder that she’s not alone, that the body next to her continues to live and breathe and exist in this world. 

—Famous Last Words Chapter 3, from May Death Never Stop You by @slexenskee

-

Okay so I binged this series in about the span of a week and it did things to my brain. The scene where Yui gets Satoru to come home and sleep lives rent-free so I had to draw it. She's the most little sister ever and this scene made me cry from the bittersweet wholesomeness. My utmost respect to slex for this masterpiece of a fic.

[ransomdemands]

yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt

this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt

ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me

[bonefall]

Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s

If then could communicate they would go to therapy together

/GEN

Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.

And then Bumble's there

And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan

[rapidhighway]

K I've been thinking about this for like a week now. Ignoring any immortal headcanons if you have them. Knuckles knows he's not going to be able to guard the Master Emerald forever and that probably troubles him, but, if he was dying do you think he'd ask Sonic to guard it? He's the person with a unique connection to Chaos and the Chaos Emeralds and he's basically chosen one the most specialest guy, and one of the few people Knuckles could trust with that duty.

Of course I think Sonic would say no. I think he'd never be able to do that and he wouldn't want to.

[anophelei]

at best there genuinely isn't a meaningful function that this "pedohunter" callout shit serves. you know full fucking well that all forms of abuse are ignored and brushed aside, child abuse being worse, and csa being the most severely unaddressed of all. even if you think such crimes are the exception to prison abolition or death sentences, you know that law enforcement is criminally negligent in handling them, if they even fucking bother. and if they do bother in cases of csem/csam and online exploitation, they explicitly DO NOT make it a public as any form of public acknowledgement is detrimental to collecting evidence and establishing a case; if you sound the alarm you're simply giving an opportunity for people to cut and run while burning as much evidence as possible on the way out. THIS is WHY the fbi doesn't acknowledge anonymous tips, it would only end up being an easy way to confirm if you're being investigated.

at most all you can hope for in making a callout post is some small amount of community awareness, maybe helping keep people away from abusers, but there are a lot of fucking consequences in doing so holy shit. first, it signals that it's time to ditch and set back up elsewhere; if someone online is looking into it then you can be sure as shit law enforcement is at least aware of the situation, ESPECIALLY when you explicitly make note of NOTIFYING THE FBI AND LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ??? I'm sorry you didn't get a fucking medal for recording and cataloguing shit, but you most likely didn't even have to do that and doing so hinders investigations given how long that takes, you don't have the resources or jurisdiction so you've just delayed any investigation from people who do.

second, even IF you handle everything perfectly and with the delicacy something like this requires, you are further traumatising the victims and retraumatising survivors by blasting the very real abuse and exploitation they've suffered through into the public sphere, quite literally showcasing it with the goal of as many people as possible seeing it. you are not going to do that though, you're going to fuck it up in some way, and this whole situation is clear proof of that. the ways in which toonimal has been handled irresponsibly are too many to fucking count, and the sheer negligence and lack of care has resulted in victims' information being readily available. Even if no direct harm comes as a result of the spotlight you've placed on the victims and where and how to find them, being exposed as a victim before you've even come to terms with it yourself, not to mention the painful processes necessary to fully acknowledge what was done to you, and then to be ready to talk about it after, IS REALLY GOD DAMN FUCKING TRAUMATISING. you are forcing victims through years of pain and confusion and grief and loss without even the slightest consideration of what that might be like, and this isn't the type of thing where biting the bullet is necessary or at all helpful. in reality, pushing victims to reconcile with realisations that will haunt them for the rest of their lives is only likely to result in denial, you are directly hindering victims from recovery and pushing them CLOSER to their abusers, who WILL capitalise on their conflicted emotional state to isolate them further and draw them closer.

If it doesn't stop the abuse and it doesn't help victims, the only thing it could be doing is making you feel good about yourself for your catastrophically misguided attempt at sticking it to LITERAL CHILD ABUSERS, which is the most patently fucking pathetic shit you could ever hope to accomplish. what you care about is your own deluded notion of getting the bad guy, and this is only further evidenced in every single person who responds to and shares your pitiful self aggrandizement frothing at the mouth and chomping at the bit over how badly they want to kill these sick freaks, how righteous they are for that, and how far beneath them the degenerate monsters are.

yeah, child abusers are fucking bad people, you're not special for thinking so, and you're not accomplishing ANYTHING when you dehumanise them purely for the sake of posturing. you only manage to make it patently fucking obvious that you hold both yourself and the people who sexually abuse children to be more important than the victims could ever be.

you truly cannot comprehend the idea of even considering us, of acknowledging us as anything more than an abstract concept only significant in the fact that we have determined someone to be guilty. I'm an adult, I've been in mental health care for quite literally half my life, I can handle your callous disregard for what was done to me and the countless, immeasurable ways in which it affected me.

A child can't.

Maybe you should ask yourself why you've never once reacted with grief for the victims, have only ever considered crucifying sinners. Why you've never cared to – or even considered the possibility of – learning the ways to recognise when a child is being abused, the potential to help them recognise if something is being done to them, to realise it if so. It might actually help someone, and it's not like calling for heads on the fucking internet could ever hope to accomplish anything. Give up the pretentions of giving a single shit about us and maybe actually do it for once in your life.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

Okay I thought I was done but apparently I'm not. I need to talk more about this banter you can get during the Legacy DLC between Aveline and Warden Carver because it makes me want to scream.

Aveline: I'm glad you found a place with the Wardens. Carver: Well, it's not the city guard, but it'll do. Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you. Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

In my last post, I talked about how Aveline had no place telling the guard to refuse Carver's application, regardless of if he was "right" for the job or not. But I believe he would've made a great guard, and getting that job not only would've provided for him and his family during a desperate time, but would've prevented him from either fate of becoming a warden or a templar. He was unfairly robbed of a chance to prove himself because Aveline believed he wasn't right for the guard.

This is one of the banters I brought up but didn't go too in depth about. At this point, it's been between 3-6 years since Act 1, depending on if you decided to do Legacy in Act 2 or Act 3, and every line here is important.

Carver's response to Aveline saying she's glad he "found a place" with the wardens is so telling. Not being accepted by the guard is still on his mind after all this time. He wouldn't bring it up if it didn't still bother him, and implies that he still would've preferred the guard over the wardens.

Which... yeah. Listen, I'm a dedicated "Carver joins the Grey Warden" player. I don't like leaving him behind to become a templar, and I certainly don't like him dying. For me, the Grey Wardens are the best outcome he has. It’s where he seems the happiest and finds the most fulfilment, and it fits well with how I play my Hawke. But it obviously has some tragic issues.

Like the fact that becoming a Grey Warden only delayed his inevitable death within the Deep Roads. Eventually his Calling will come, and Carver will go back down there and fight until the darkspawn eventually kill him. I'm sure that's not traumatic to think about given he was a soldier at Ostagar and then watched Bethany die at the hands of an ogre. Oh, and there's the whole nightmares and voices thing.

Carver didn't choose this life for himself. It was either this or death, but a "what if?" still lingers in his mind about the city guard.

Something Aveline ruined for him.

And continues to ruin.

Aveline: Carver... it wasn't the place for you.

You hear that? In the distance? That's me screaming.

I must reiterate; what makes Aveline believe it's her place to tell Carver whether or not the city guard was right for him? Why did she think she should get a say in whether or not the guard takes him? What's made it HER call?

And still, after all this time has passed, she believes it wasn't right for him and she's unwilling to consider otherwise. Maker forbid she do some reflection and question if she was in the right for interfering at all, too!

Carver is standing right there before her, proving everything she said about him wrong, and she just doubles down. There's no reason to say this to him unless she's trying to remind him of his place; he's a Grey Warden, and she's Guard-Captain of Kirkwall's city guard. But c'mon, Aveline, he's hardly a threat to your precious guard anymore given the whole dedication to killing darkspawn thing he has now.

Maybe if you paid more attention to the threats within your guard, Kirkwall would be a safer place with less murder going around? Just saying!

But isn't that how it's always been? Aveline putting him in his place, making sure Carver remembers she's always outranked him?

Carver: Did you approve my application? Aveline: I can't make you a guard, Carver. Carver: We were both soldiers. Why won't they take me? Aveline: I was an officer. And I follow orders. Carver: [laughs] No you don't. Aveline: I also think of others before myself. You seem tired of that, and that's dangerous. Carver: Just when it's not my choice. You told them not to take me, didn't you? Aveline: Yes.

That he should remember who he's talking to?

Carver: I'm surprised you still travel with us, Aveline. Aveline: Carver, don't. Carver: You're ever so busy with the guardsmen. It must be a burden to slum with the refugees. Aveline: It's oddly comforting that you insult me like I'm family. Carver: That wasn't... no, I didn't mean that. Aveline: I know. But you should be glad that's how I took it.

That she's in charge?

Aveline: Your form's sloppy, Carver. Stiffen up or the darkspawn will take your blade. Carver: Right. I'll keep that in mind. Aveline: And you're angry, why? Carver: You didn't fare any better than I did the last time we faced darkspawn. Aveline: If they take your blade, people die. That's not happening again. Stiffen up. Carver: Yes ma'am.

Oh, and she used to spy on him [and Hawke].

Aveline: I don't like some of the people you've been associating with, Carver. Carver: Talk to my brother/sister. He/She's the one in charge. Aveline:  Maybe, but I know you get around. This city's full of people who are dead set on ending badly. I don't want to see you end up the same way. Carver: Would asking you to stop spying on me help in the least? Aveline: No.

That's their banter.

But sure, she's glad he found a place in the wardens. I don't think she's being ingenuine when she says that, but I think it's a little more complicated than a mere "congrats on doing well, I knew you could do it."

But Carver's response? Oh Maker's ass. It actually hurts me.

Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well...

I... what can I even say?

He accepts it, but you can tell it hurts to do so. It DID cost a lot. More than Aveline will ever understand. And it doesn't matter now! He can't become a guard now anyway, so what would be the point in him disagreeing with her? Carver acts as the bigger person here because he does get it, even if Aveline doesn't.

But it's that last part... that last damn part... Don't be alarmed, that screaming you hear is still me.

Here's the deal; Carver acknowledges that he could be an ass back in Act 1. Hell, he acknowledges it IN Act 1. For example, when you talk to him after finding your grandfather's will, he's an ass to you about Bethany no matter what you say.

But y'know what? You can be the biggest piece of shit to him and have Hawke literally call him a "lazy brat with a chip on his shoulder," and Carver will still be the one to be apologetic for what he said and attempt to explain his feelings.

"Brother/Sister... I feel... I don't know. It's like Mother taking things out on us. She was just scared. I don't have a place in the life she's trying to bring back…"

Carver can be an ass, but he's aware of that and actively tries to change his behavior. If you bring him and Fenris with you on the Mark of the Assassin DLC, there's a moment where Carver says, "You still don't like me? I've tried to change." And if you bring Varric, he once again acknowledges that he used to be an ass.

BUT... that being said. If you don't remember, "I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I?" is referencing back to this conversation in the barracks of Act 1:

Hawke: This must be a very different pace from serving King Cailan. Aveline: It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar? Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.

Now, I've already expressed my beef with Aveline over insulting Carver in the middle of the barracks just because he doesn't agree with her view point on Ostagar... but consider the fact that Carver says nothing. He just lets her insult him without a complaint! Carver Hawke, who tends to complain! And he says nothing!

Not only that, but he actually internalized that insult enough that years later he's able to repeat it back to Aveline word for word, and all she has to say is, "Well..."

This isn't the same thing as him reflecting on his past behavior and acknowledging his flaws. This is Carver accepting a snide jab Aveline made that hurt him because apparently he was wrong for not wanting to discuss any trauma Ostagar left him with as openly as she does.

Oh, and don't forget that any other companion you brought along dogpiles on, too!

Carver: No, it's all right. It is. It cost a lot, but I get it. I really was a bit of a tit those days, wasn't I? Aveline: Well... Varric: No shit. Fenris: Insufferable. Isabela: Legendary. Anders: Maker, yes. Sebastian: I've heard as much. [If Hawke has a humorous/charming personality] Hawke: Spoiled, annoying, thick-headed, brattish little nitwit of a... oh, have we stopped?

Y'all ever wonder why he's so on edge or hostile with the other companions?

Also, I have to point out that Merrill is the only companion who doesn't say anything in agreement if she's there. In fact, across all their banter, Merrill's never been rude or insulting toward him. All she does is ask him if he's talking dirty to her and compliments him on what a great sworder he is. It's pretty obvious why Carver develops a crush on her, c'mon.

But to wrap this up-

This banter strikes a nerve due to how telling it is about both characters involved.

Carver has grown and done what he can to improve himself, but there's regret that lingers, a longing for a better life he could've had if given a chance. Maybe he would've failed, maybe he would've succeeded. But there's nothing he can do now, so he looks forward, just as he's always wanted to do. He's a damn good Grey Warden who wants to do right.

Aveline remains stagnant. She hasn't changed, nor has she improved, and maybe she would if she could figure out how to dislodge her head from her own ass. She still believes she was in the right to tell the guard not to accept Carver's application despite knowing the Hawke's were desperate and that Fereldan refugees couldn't find work. She knew Carver's a skilled soldier who fought at Ostagar just as she did. The guard wasn't the place for him so she's in the right to deny him any chance. Aveline knows best.

And y'know what, I think all I have left to say is...

Fine, Aveline. You're right. It wasn't the place for him.

Carver was too good for your city guard.

[grkuvus]

hey. non-jewish advocates for palestine. we need to talk.

PLEASE remember that jewish people are not the enemy. freedom and justice for palestine is not incompatible with protecting jewish people. anyone who tries to convince you that jewish people are standing in the way of freedom for palestine, and that something needs to be done about us, is an opportunist using palestine to target jewish people.

this goes ESPECIALLY for people who are not themselves palestinian or connected to palestine.

there are so many jewish people fighting for palestine's freedom, putting ourselves in harm's way, losing people in our lives because of our unconditional defense of innocent people living and dying in gaza. don't ignore that when you see people making sweeping statements about jewish people. don't ignore antisemitism masquerading as pro-palestinian sentiment.

we are not enemies. we are not on opposite sides. don't throw us to the wolves or excuse antisemitism in the name of the cause. so many of us fight for palestine - when you're confronted with antisemitism, please fight for us, too.

[crimeronan]

laying here like. what if the only thing AU luz has retained of the mindscape invasion is that raine gives incredible hugs. she's like look i KNOW the last non-hunter person to hug me was belos but i FEEL like raine has given me a hug before and also that it's been really nice. which is really fucking with my ability to keep pushing them away . i like being hugged so much :(

[novelconcepts]

The degree of RAGE I feel every time I listen to an interview with and/or about a nonbinary person/character, and the interviewer just is allergic to they/them pronouns. Like. My dude. My good bitch. My brother in Christ. The whole POINT of this conversation is the enby thing. How are you failing THIS badly?!

[blametheeditor]

Terms Of Agreement | Chapter 5

First | Previous | Next

Run Down: The monster under your bed, the one in the closet, and your sleep paralysis demon fight for custody.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of sleep paralysis, hallucinations, and sleep deprivation. Mentions of death, murder, and accidental deaths. Mentions of treating others as lesser than, addressing someone as 'it'.

We don't play favorites, just lesser of three evils

__________________________________________

Fritz wakes up to darkness, and the hairs on the back of his neck standing up straight. 

If he thought about it for a moment, if the fog of sleep wasn’t clouding his mind, he would’ve remembered what had been said to him regarding the beings fighting for the right to have his soul. Realized night finally came and it was time to torment him. And that the worst thing to do it that moment was open his eyes. 

But that’s exactly what he does. And Fritz stares at his empty bedroom. 

The teenager watches in silent for a moment in the attempt to figure out if he’s actually awake, and if he is, what the culprit was for causing it.

There is nothing in my room.

Fritz takes a deep breath to calm his racing heart. Makes a slow sweep of the room with his eyes, feeling himself relax at the confirmation nothing is inside his room. Not by the locked door. Not in the corner next to his dresser. Not next to the- 

The gasp is involuntary at the sight of the closet door cracked open. Because Fritz had double checked it was closed before falling asleep a few hours ago. Or, was that something he did yesterday? Did he make sure it was closed this morning? When was the last time he even used his closet? That was always something his mom got upset about, the fact he was a walk-in closet but decides to use his dresser instead. All because of a dream he had that started to repeat itself over a few years. 

This...this feels like that dream. Where the door opens by itself. Usually what happens next is that something comes out of it. Once it was shadows shaped like vines. Another time a silhouette of a large, writhing figure. 

...it was never a dream, was it? 

There is nothing in my room.

Fritz’s knuckles turn white at the thought becoming more like a plea rather than a reminder. He refuses to look away from the closet, now. As much as the thought terrifies him of watching some unspeakable horror enter his room, he would rather know what’s coming instead of being blindsided when it happens. 

And it is when. This is David’s night. There is no reason for the monster in the closet to not take full advantage. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes. A minute. Thirty. Maybe even an hour. He can’t tell, and it might not matter. There’s nothing Fritz can do to stop the terror building up inside him. Waiting only continues to make it worse. 

But then the door opens another inch. Then another. And then three long claws that turn into talons, into fingers slowing wrap around the doorframe. An appendage that twitches and morphs from something humanoid into a hoof steps out. Finally, something big that looks like it struggles to breathe lumbers its way out of the closet. It’s too dark to make out any details, looks as if it’s made of shadows, and that makes it all the more horrific. 

Fritz wants to do nothing more than scream, but his body is frozen as if Vincent has paralyzed him. The only thing he wants to do is run while at the same time being too terrified to move. 

Please don’t find me.

There’s not a single sound other than his rapid breathing. He can see it moving what can only be assumed is a head to scan the room. Watches as it takes stuttering steps forward, teetering as its limbs continuously change. Feels its dark presence confirming the target is him. Yet it remains eerily silent, not even making the carpet crunch, as if it doesn’t truly exist. 

But it does. And Fritz is terrified about what it’s going to do once it finds him. 

Suddenly, it whips around and seems to stare directly at him. Goes deathly still. At least, as much as it can, its body refusing to hold its original shape as it continues to contort. 

In this moment as he waits for it to lunge at him, Fritz is reminded of something else that changed the longer he stared at it. Words that he was told shouldn’t be read or else he’ll lose his mind. The cold realization David managed to get his way and teach the disrespectful teenager a lesson. 

No, that’s not possible. This is just a hallucination. It’s meant to scare him, David wouldn’t be able to make a creature made out of letters. That has to be something impossible to do, right? The monster just wants to make him paranoid. 

Fritz trembles as he continues to stare, the creature just as still. Feels each and every one of his breaths stutter. Can’t tell if the rest of his room seeming to grow fuzzy is due to terror, the refusal to even blink, or David really does have that kind of power. 

Finally, Fritz is forced to blink, his eyes stinging. It couldn’t have been for more than a full second. Yet plenty of time for the creature to get a foot closer. He hadn’t even heard it move, and now it’s close enough that if it reaches out, it can grab him. 

That breaks Fritz’s resolve. He screeches as he tries to scramble away. Makes the horrific mistake of looking behind him when his back hits the wall. Shrieks at the creature standing directly beside his bed when he finally looks back at it. 

“Mom!” Fritz screams. “Mom!” 

He waits. For his bedroom door to open. For the lights to turn on. For a warm embrace as he’s told it’s okay, he’s safe, she won’t let anything hurt him. But she never comes. Because she’s gone. Fritz is alone. 

Tears stream down his face as he’s forced to watch the writhing figure, knowing no one is coming to help him. Coughs as a sob erupts at the same time he tries to gasp for air. Begins to panic because he almost closes his eyes. Almost lets the creature win. Knows it’s only a matter of time. 

Fritz sprints for the door. 

His footing on the mattress is clumsy, and he nearly slams his head into his dresser. But he stays on his feet, keeps his eyes locked on his bedroom door, and lunges for the lights. The only thing he can throughout his escape is his own frantic movements, yet he swears there’s a growl as soon as he flips the switch. He doesn’t check on the creature, however, only yanks the door open before leaping into the hallway. 

Fritz whirls around to keep an eye on his room. To see if he’s followed. Counts 60 seconds. Only when nothing happens, not even the ground shaking from catastrophic footsteps, does the redhead allow himself to crumble to the floor. Curls into a tight ball as sobs wrack his body. 

Somehow, he manages to fall asleep like that. He doesn’t dream of anything, but he’s jolted awake at the sound of something crashing to the floor from somewhere inside the house. Looks to his left and right to see the hallway no longer towers high above him. The front door is open to let morning sunlight in. 

I’m not going to survive this...

Fritz knew to take the threat of making his life horrible seriously. But never did he think they would go so far as to make it so unbearable. Sleepless nights are par for the course. Giants that don’t understand they can easily kill him is something he’ll never get used to, but at least it’s consistent. 

The mind games, though? The deliberate attempts to make him paranoid, to not explain anything, to leave him clueless until he’s facing it directly? Where does using Fritz’s lack of knowledge to their advantage end, and it being unfair and borderline cheating start? 

...nothing he can do about it now. He’ll ask later. Now, he needs to get dressed. Try to eat something. Get out of the house before David decides Fritz deserves a special punishment for cutting the night short. 

Fritz finds himself on autopilot as he gets ready for school. Makes two pieces of toast for breakfast. Stares at his bag sitting on the floor for a moment before realizing it had been left on the table last night and must’ve fallen when the house shrunk back to its normal size. Gets his things reorganized before packing extra snacks and a portable phone charger. 

Walks silently out the door. Is genuinely surprised to see Jeremy waiting for him already. 

His best friend takes one look at him before pulling the redhead into a hug. “Bad n-n-night?” 

You don’t know the half of it.

Fritz clings to Jeremy as he takes a deep breath. “Yeah.” 

The arms surrounding him hold him tighter, as if they can protect him from the horrors that visit him in the night. “Would you l-like t-to talk about it?” 

As much as he wants to confide in the only person left in this world who cares about him, who has been by Fritz’s side ever since elementary school, who has spoken about his own troubles and wants nothing more than to be here when it’s most needed...he can’t. He can’t, and it hurts. 

Jeremy gives him a gentle squeeze after a minute of silence. “W-W-Was it a nightmare?” 

...technically it was. That, that wouldn’t be something that could hurt Jeremy for knowing, right? 

“Have they been g-getting worse?” the taller asks after Fritz tentatively nods, earning another one. Because while the nightmares and sleep paralysis had always been bad, never did he imagine it getting like this. Never had he imagined they were caused by malicious beings. “Would you l-l-like to sleep over at m-my h-house?” 

Fritz’s first instinct is to say no, to admit he’ll never be able to hang out with Jeremy after sunset, feels tears stinging his eyes because it’s not fair. After taking his home away, promising he’ll never get a reprieve from the torture, and they still find a way to hurt him when it shouldn’t be possible. 

Then he remembers there’s a schedule. One that’s proven to be trustworthy. None of them appeared Sunday night, and the same thing was said for Thursday and Friday night. He’s safe those nights. Meaning Jeremy would be safe. 

“Friday,” Fritz breathes as he looks up at Jeremy. “C-Can I sleep over Friday night?” 

His best friend beams from the request. “O-Of course! My parents c-c-can't say no to a w-w-weekend night.” 

Fritz can’t help the feeling of hope blossoming in his chest. It scares him, because the three might do everything in their power to crush it, but he feels ten times lighter. He’ll never be able to tell Jeremy the truth, but they’ve been there for each other without such knowledge before. When Fritz refused to back down and get chased off from degrading comments the Fitzgeralds constantly sent his way. When Jeremy silently stood guard and never questioned when naps were taken during class. 

He’s not alone. 

That thought keeps him grounded for the rest of the day. Helps keep him awake, even. Manages to pay attention and retain a majority of what his teachers say. Because there’s the promise that at the end of the week, it’ll all be worth it. 

The moment he’s standing in front of his house again reminds him there’s still literal monsters waiting for him. But waving Jeremy goodbye is all that’s needed to remember someone still cares about him. Someone will be waiting for him tomorrow morning, then the next, and the next. 

I can do this.

Fritz clenches his fists, preparing himself for the terrifying greeting guaranteed to come. Marches up the front steps before diving through the front door. Curls into a ball to keep from tumbling when the door slams shut. 

Blinks in confusion when the sound of the lock clicking into place is heard, but there had been a distinct lack of force. His hair had barely been ruffled. 

“David informed us you deliberately took actions to cut the night short.” 

Fritz feels as though someone punched him in the chest, his lungs refusing to cooperate at the realization he is currently alone with James. The monster who’s made it blatantly clear Fritz is no more than an object to him. Someone that’s needed to be told by the others to back off. 

Who’s...sitting in one of the living room chairs. A book in hand. Head tilted down to show that while he’s clearly talking to the teenager cowering on the floor, whatever is being read is much more interesting. 

“While Vincent finds it amusing, I, on the other hand, agree that such disrespect will not be tolerated,” James continues, causing Fritz’s body to start shaking like a leaf. “Therefore, you are being given one warning. Take such actions again, and there will be severe consequences.” 

Silence. The book continues to be the focus of the monster’s attention, as if Fritz isn’t worth a single glance despite the threat. And it’s this that takes the hope he once had, and shatters it into a million pieces. Because no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, the three will be here until he chooses. Will break him down every chance they get. Remind him that he nothing but the means to an end. 

“You can complete your assigned work anywhere you desire,” the giant continues. “The only area off limits is your bedroom.” 

With that, Fritz feels relief at James making it clear he’s only here to watch him and has no intentions to physically interact with the teenager. 

...he has the whole house to himself. 

Fritz jolts at the thought. Because before this, he’s been herded if not outright grabbed and carried to where the three wanted him to be. Now, he’s being allowed to explore. Something that’s both terrifying if James decides to start walking around, and exciting. 

He’s technically shrunk. The entire house towers over him. And yet he’s never really interacting with anything except traversing the floor or being spilled onto a higher surface. But should he play it safe and just sit down right here to do homework, or explore and claim he’s just finding a comfortable place to work? 

The worst part is his current warden is James. Vincent most likely wouldn’t mind, and he’d trust his sleep paralysis demon to watch the floor while walking. David wouldn’t give him a chance. And before this, Fritz thought both monsters would share the same sentiment. 

Unless this is some kind of challenge to see if he disobeys orders. 

Fritz finally gathers the courage to begin walking toward the living room. Not excited about the inevitable fight with the carpet once he reaches it. But it’ll be a lot more comfortable than tile, and James won’t have the chance to claim he’s being ungrateful not taking advantage of such an offer. 

As he walks, glances are sent toward the monster to check if he’s being watched. Every time, James is content to simply read. The embodiment of calm. It makes him look almost...human. 

Fritz decides to sit down next to the couch, leaning against the wooden leg thicker than he is. Sends a suspicious look at the dark space directly to his left that could be hiding anything. Nothing seems to move through the shadows, however, there being nothing but dust bunnies. And it makes him feel better being next to something that would be awkward walking directly beside it. Not to mention he’d be able to dive out of the way. Be safe from a shoe or hand as long as he’s quick enough. 

As he starts on his homework, James is still sent a fearful look every other minute, just to ensure the monster isn’t planning on something. But Fritz is left completely alone. Something that’s unnerving yet, nice. 

“J-James?” slips out before Fritz can stop himself. 

Instead of ignoring him, the giant tilts his head up so pitch black eyes are now locked on the redhead who dared interrupt him. “You speak like there’s a question despite only saying my name.” 

Fritz feels himself tense up, realizing he managed to upset James with a single word. Wants to do nothing more than run. Take back what he said and plead for his life. 

He can’t say anything, however. Can’t move. Only watches as the monster turns back to his book. “I suggest you utilize the inflection properly rather than wasting our time.” 

Fritz holds his breath. Expects to be grabbed. Told he single handedly promised himself a worse night than previously planned. Get stomped directly beside. But nothing happens. 

What had the others said before? Vincent’s always concerned about Fritz getting killed, but something had been said about harming him a few times. An almost throwaway comment to calm the teenager, but it was there. Is, is that what’s holding the monster back? 

“Wh-What did Vincent and David mean? When they said you can-n-n't intentionally hurt me?” Fritz asks. Because if the worse thing that happened for wasting James’ time was a verbal rebuttal, then it might be safe asking an actual question. There’s still the couch to use as a last resort. 

James’ expression doesn’t change as he turns back to Fritz. He isn’t bored, far from patient, just neutral. And that helps the teenager’s heart beat just a little slower. “There are strict rules that need to be followed in order for any competition over a soul to remain fair for all parties involved, including the soul itself. This includes intentionally manipulating or harming the vessel of the soul. If a monster or demon intentionally harms the vessel, they will be disqualified and forfeit all rights to compete. If harm befell upon the vessel, but there had been no intention and was due to an accident or not having proper knowledge, they may continue to compete.” 

So that’s why David hasn’t disappeared even though Fritz still has a few bruises from being previously being picked up roughly. Even though it could've ended badly, it would've been a mistake. A mistake that could've cost the teenager his life, yet it'd be treated as nothing more than a setback. No consequences other than Vincent and James being upset they lost their rights to a soul.

“B-But there’s still accidents?” Fritz confirms.

“It’s impossible for there not to be,” James says. As if he isn’t talking to the very person who would be the one getting harmed in such a scenario. “However, Vincent is well versed in keeping such fragile vessels safe from fatal accidents. The worst that may happen is the vessel’s integrity being permanently damaged.” 

Fritz hates the fact everything has its pros and cons, including asking questions. He can either get straight answers from James while at the same time being told he’s nothing more than a vessel, or never getting the full picture with Vincent but he’s spoken to like he’s a person. 

At least he has a little more information. Knows he had a reason to be scared of the creature last night. As long as it didn’t intentionally hurt him, it still would’ve been able to grab him if given the chance. And considering James has been described as being more physical than the other two, he might have to be prepared for anything. 

As much as he hates to say it, Fritz can’t wait for Vincent to come back...

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

[uncanny-tranny]

You lose the plot when discussing and fighting for minorities when you buy into the specific brand of (specifically christianity) "suffering is Divine, and the more you Suffer, the More Divine you are."

Suffering is suffering is suffering - when you choose to ignore a marginalized group's suffering because they are not suffering enough or are not "good victims," you have lost the plot.

[angeltism]

"spar.kle is fictional who cares" I have seen people praising her for her racist anti-romani comments what the fuck kind of world do you live in

[vimbry]

oh god people are gonna start joining tumblr this year who were born the year I made my tumblr account