#Yeah I have a title for the fic despite not having much of a plot

[pedgito]

Hi Ali!! I love your writing and I was wondering if I can request dom Joel punishing you by riding his boot??

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆

summary | joel doesn't like gifts, you gift him new boots. [3k]

pairing | joel miller x fem!reader

content warning | 18+ content, as always: no use of y/n, soft dom/sub dynamic, boot-riding, degradation kink, unprotected piv, one (1) face slap, porn with absolutely no plot.

author’s note | original working title for this was new boot goofin' because i can't take myself seriously, idk what this is but enjoy. kel (@beskarandblasters) suggested the actual title for this so thank you babe ♡

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic recs

Three things about Joel you were intensely sure of—he was a strong lover. He loved hard and he cared even harder, always willing to put your needs before his own, even to an unhealthy degree in some cases. Two, he liked to be in charge. With his willingness to put you before him, it also lended him to enjoy the role of being dominant in the right situations. He kept a lot of himself locked up around everyone but you. Through the few years you two have become close and started this relationship—if you could call it that—there’s a solid understanding of each other’s needs. He provides the domineering nature you crave and you subdued yourself to him willingly when he puts the facade on.

At first, it never left the bedroom. You both enjoyed the disguise of the dynamics to make things flow easier, not allow things to stall out so quickly and you had all the proper safety precautions in place to allow you both the happiness you seeked out. But, as most things in your life, they seeped through the cracks and bled out, intermingling with the rest of your daily life.

Sometimes it was just a look when you’d say something in public that was indecent or a comment that made Joel’s face go hot, knowing that despite his openness in public, he was still a very private man. He reserved that side for you and only you. And he did so much for you—not just around Jackson, but in your own home. With him being the lead guy for patrols and having such a…special relationship with him, it lended for more leniency when you weren’t feeling great or needed a break from the hectic energy that patrolling liked to suffocate people with, always on the brink of danger. And Joel was always too handy for his own good—always finding a reason to fix up a broken something in your own small house on the outskirts of Jackson. 

Broken pipe? Fixed. Chair broken? Joel could shape you out a new one in a couple weeks.

Last week he had repainted then entirety of your kitchen cabinets because he thought they were looking a little dull—as if they weren’t run down from years of abandonment and like this wasn’t the fucking apocalypse. Despite that, you felt the urge to thank Joel. And not just thank him.

Properly. With a gift.

But—oh. Third thing, Joel hated gifts.

Despised them.

But, you weren’t always the best listener or rule follower.

A patrol with Tommy had you both scheming up an idea when you bring up the option of gifting something to Joel as a proper offering of appreciation, his hand resting loosely on the rifle slung around his chest, fingers tapping against the butt. 

“Well—you know, there’s a clothing store a few miles east,” Tommy tells you, “Ellie and I found it when we cleared out that hoard a few months back—lotsa clothes and shoes, mostly untouched. We could check that out? I need to grab a few things myself anyways.”

You nod easily, “Yeah—that pair he has is falling apart. It drives me insane.”

“Joel doesn’t like to let go of things easily,” Tommy comments broadly, “He’ll make do with what he’s got until it falls apart.”

“Well, he doesn’t take no for an answer when I tell him to stop helpin’ me so he’s gonna have to suck it up just this once.” You smile slightly, earning a soft chuckle from Tommy.

You hoped it would go over well—because Joel did need new boots and there was little harm in an innocent gift…right?

–

Joel is brimming with an energy that only accompanied him after long patrols, the ones that lasted a few days and kept him away. Away from his home, away from you. He doesn’t even attempt the trek toward his own house, rather taking the first right and beelining for your small house at the end of the neighborhood, squeezing his leather covered hands into fists.

He’s anxious, pent up—not with anger or rage, but just a need to release some built up stress. Fortunately, he knew the perfect way to do that. His boots squeak against the hardwood of your front deck, the tattered rubber around the toe of his boot hanging on by a thread as he kicks it gently into the base of the door softly, idle as he busies his mind and prays that you’re still awake.

You’ve been waiting for him all day, his gift hidden away safely as you yank the door open excitedly, nearly tripping over your own pair of haphazardly thrown shoes on the floor.

Joel lets out a soft oof as he catches you, chuckling at your bright and beaming smile.

“Someone’s excited,” Joel chides playfully, though his voice is gruff. He sounds tired, looks it too, “been missin’ me, baby?”

You nod immediately, “So much,” You press a gentle kiss to his lips as he kicks the front door closed with his foot, slowly removing his layers—thick coat falling first, then his thinner jacket he wore underneath to leave him in a thick thermal, his skin still prickling with the winter chill but quickly warming underneath your touch, “everything go okay?”

“Yeah—just a bad storm comin’ in,” Joel explains, ignoring how distracted you were, allowing the soft pecks to his skin as you pulled away, slowly inserting yourself into his line of sight, mischievous grin plastered across your face, “—what are you up to, darlin’?

“Got a surprise for you,” You tease playfully, feeling his thick, calloused fingers slip under the thin material of your shirt, subconsciously seeking some contact with you, “can you go sit on the couch and close your eyes?”

Joel didn’t take too well to surprises, but he trusts you. So, he nods quietly, though there’s a slight hesitance to him as he takes a seat on the couch, slowly unlacing his boots in your absence to relieve some pressure but not taking them off completely, the tongue of the boot hanging lifelessly over his even more pathetic looking laces.

He can hear your soft footsteps as they approach, bare feet against the wood flooring as the couch dips slightly and he feels something hard and solid pressed into his hands.

“Okay, open ‘em,” You tell him gently, watching as he blinks his eyes open, expression mostly unchanging—it wasn’t unlike him to have little reaction, but it did worry you slightly, “—surprise?”

Okay, terrible idea. Got it.

“Darlin’,” God, you’ve heard that tone before, body tensing slightly, “I thought I told you I don’t need nothin’ in return from you.”

“Joel—you’re constantly helping me,” You argue softly, “it’s the least I could do. Plus, you need a new pair.”

“That’s not the point,” Joel tells you, “I do that stuff ‘cause I like knowin’ you’re comfortable, that you don’t have anything to worry about while I’m away.”

“And I worry about you too,” You interject quickly, “Joel—it’s just a gift, it’s okay.”

Joel places them on the table in front of him silently, contemplating thoughtfully.

He’s made it clear on several occasions that he doesn’t like things in return. That he does these things without the expectation of anything in return, but he appreciates the gesture. Joel isn’t used to people caring for him and it feels odd to allow it. And he sees the nervous energy inside of you brimming, like you’ve made a bad choice and you deserve the punishment.

 Almost begged for it. 

Your fists curl nervously in your lap, waiting for any sign that Joel had to offer.

And when he doesn’t respond, you find yourself curling into him out of instinct. Thighs spreading out over his lap as his hands follow the trail from your knees, up your thighs, until his thumbs are settling in the crease of your pelvis. You attempt a gentle kiss, but he’s reluctant to return it.

“Did I do something wrong?” You ask quietly, a genuine curiosity in your voice.

Joel shakes his head slightly, but the hand guiding its way around your neck tells a different story, his fingertips rubbing against the softness of your jawline, forcing you to look at him properly.

“Nothin’ wrong, but I do think I need to remind you of somethin’,” Joel explains in a soft, but demeaning tone, “that when I tell you I can provide for you and don’t need anything in return—that I mean that.”

You wait with baited breath, blinking rapidly at how hot his breath feels against your skin, feeling your cunt throb with need, with an insatiable want for him.

“And since you wanna buy me a new pair of boots—well,” Joel chuckles darkly, feeling your fingers tighten into the thick fabric of his thermal, “you’re gonna have to help me break ‘em in.”

You look at him, perplexed. But, his pupils dilate under your gaze, the subtle shifting as he kicks off his old, tattered boots as nods subtly to the new pair behind you.

You sigh breathily, “Huh—Oh, you want me to—”

“Ride my boot, baby,” He tells you clearly, “Seein’ as it is my gift and all.”

There wasn’t even a moment of hesitation as you slipped from his lap, table skidding back deftly in the process—you grab for the new pair of work boots but Joel is quickly grabbing your face again, squeezing your cheeks sharply.

“Undress first.” Joel says, waiting for your nod of acknowledgement before he lets you go.

So, you do—layer by layer until you reach your bra, unhooking it with nimble fingers as he slips on his new boots. If this were anyone else, you would feel ridiculous. But, with Joel, there was something there, brewing on the surface. He respected you, but he also needed you to understand.

It was a little humiliating, but it wasn’t the worst thing.

Your fingers edge along the hem of your underwear when Joel stops your hands, “Keep those on.” He utters, his fingers dragging softly against the front of the cotton material until he’s cupping your pussy in his palm, soft wet spot growing in the fabric where his fingertips drag across—you’re enjoying this, clearly.

You lower yourself slowly, straddling his left leg with your knees tucked against the bottom of the couch he sat on, pressing your cunt against the cold leather of his steel-toed boot.

Joel relaxes then, arms spread wide over the back of the couch, fingers gripping loosely into the cushion. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart.” Joel comforts, sensing your brimming nervousness as your fingers trailed along his calf, the hard press of his boot right against your core and if you tried hard enough, it wouldn’t take long at all—knowing that even just a little bit of encouragement from Joel and friction could have you coming undone. But, he wants you to work for it.

You start slow, a subtle grind of your hips that shouldn’t feel as good as it does. You sigh softly at the relief, noticing the slowly growing smirk on Joel’s face that you’re trying to avoid, eyes falling shut slowly as you tip your head back, allowing a slow rhythm to start.

“Feels good?” Joel wonders, “Like the idea of me carryin’ somethin’ of you around with me?”

In more ways than one—by a simple gift from the kindness of your heart, but also the desperation of the slick that damped your underwear and painted a perfect mess over his boot.

You nod quietly, moaning softly as you angle your hips to allow the drag of your clit over the solidness of the boot, friction sending your eyes rolling back in your head, hands fisting into the thick denim and selfishly using it for leverage as you quickened your pace. 

“That’s right, baby—want you to think about coming all over my boot for me,” Joel encourages, “can you do that?”

Truthfully, you were holding back. Seeing just how much you could get out of him.

But, Joel catches onto your game.

“You need a little encouragement?” Joel asks curiously, chin cupped in his strong grip, nodding obediently. “Think you deserve that, baby?”

“Please—please, Joel.” You beg, “Fuck—please, I’ll do—”

“Don’t say anything, darlin’.” He warns, “Not when you don’t know what that means for you.”

He keeps your eyes locked on his, squeezing your cheeks gently when you start to fade, the slowly building tingle in your core that wasn’t as easily ignorable now, coiled in your belly and ready to explode. You lose yourself for a brief second, hand fisting into the slack bunch of denim atop his thigh, earning a dull but stern slap to your cheek to bring your attention back to him.

“Eyes on me, baby,” Joel coos, fisting the hard line of his cock under the strained denim with his free hand, looking slightly pained at how much he was holding back himself, “look at you—always eager to please, huh?”

You roll your eyes slightly—and Joel really doesn’t like that. His hand cradling the base of your neck as he holds you still, body pulled just centimeters away from his boot, leaving your pussy throbbing with a lack of contact that your body craved.

“Now you just look a little pathetic, don’t you?” Joel asks, “All needy for my fuckin’ boot—got her beggin’ for it, don’t I?” And you know he’s not addressing you directly, rather the pool of your own slick, shiny wetness on the toe of his boot that gives you away.

 He nudges it against your clit gently, earning a soft whine as you hips instinctively seek for friction—Joel takes a slightly more firmer stance, head cradling both of his hands as he holds you prisoner in his gaze, two thick fingers slipping into your open mouth and grinning at how pathetically and greedily you suck on the digits without having to be told, removing them with a loud pop and a thin string of spit that connects you to him.

And if he was a stronger man, he could hold off. But, he’s so weak around you he can’t even hide it. He lets go in an instant, reaching for the front of his own jeans as he shoves them down his hips until he can manage to slip his cock out over his underwear, fisting himself in an instant.

Staving himself on patrols was torture when all he could think about was you—so he knows it won’t take much. Hell, he’s surprised with how long he’s been able to hold off now.

You admire with a haughty gaze, slowly resting back against the base of his boot, watching his free hand slip under his heavy sack, massaging as he jerks his fist without much rhythm, blinded by his own selfish need for release.

“Keep goin’,” He encourages through a tight breath, “but don’t fuckin’ come, darlin’.”

Your hole clenches and flutters around nothing, wishing that it was his cock stuffed inside of you rather than the plane of his boot pressed against your pussy, the thickness of his fingers alongside the girthiness of his cock a blatant reminder of how deeply you felt him in the mornings and even days after, always fucked so throughly it had you reeling and constantly crawling back for more.

He jerks himself selfishly, eyes falling shut as he feels himself dragging too close to the edge, your moans gaining in intensity, knowing how pathetic you would both look to anyone else. But, there was no one to judge you here—and Joel was beyond feeling the need to be assertive, rather just needing you, to be inside you and have you snug around him and crying on his cock.

Joel pulls you out of your daze hastily, manhandling you until you’re back is flat against the couch, quickly shoving his jeans down far enough that they don’t become a hindrance as he pulls your underwear aside and slips inside of you with a solid push of his hips, the slickness of your cunt allowing no resistance as you both groan at how good it feels, eyes connecting for a brief moment before everything goes black…or white. 

Joel isn’t sure what he sees, but it only takes a few minutes of some hurried and desperate pumps of his hips as his cock nudges that particular spot deep inside of you that has you clawing at the bare skin you could reach, leaving red marks on his neck as he snaps his hips with a finality, coming with a low groan that has your legs shaking, bent nearly in half as he still manages to see through his own haze and drag his fingers over your clit—it doesn’t take more than a couple seconds before you're there, spasming around his cock with a sob, gasping at his overstimulating touch as he continues to press and circle your clit until you’re begging him to stop, his hips slowly pumping his cum inside of you.

Joel finds himself laying slack against you, pants down at his ankles as he allows your fingers to thread through his grown out curls from where his head rests against your chest, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart.

“I appreciate the boots,” He says after a while, “if that wasn’t already obvious.”

“Oh, I’m aware.” You giggle softly.

“Seriously, no more gifts, though.” Joel says sternly, “I mean it.”

You pout slightly and Joel catches it, his eyes flicking up to look at you.

“I’m makin’ no promises to that.” You tell him truthfully.

Joel chuckles softly, “Can’t say I expected you to, either.”

[featherandferns]

rumours : where are they now?

jj maybank x grumpy!fem!reader

content warnings: mentions of sex and drugs

word count: 1.2k.

read rumours | Thank you so so much for 1000 followers!!! Since starting this blog in May of 2023, I have written so many characters and storylines. I get so many lovely anon messages telling me about their favourite universes and wondering what happens next after my fics have ended. So, I thought to celebrate 1000 followers, I’d indulge. Here’s the (current) where are they now for all of my fics so far…

There was a rumour that you didn’t like Sarah Cameron. 

“Did you know Sarah’s scared of you?”

You frown and turn your head to face JJ. Your feet are sprawled out on his lap and one of his hands is occupied by rubbing the sole of your foot absentmindedly over your sock. His other is fidgeting with his lighter, a small tick you’d picked up on a while ago, and one that was somehow both adorable and sexy. 

“What?” you chuckle. 

“Yeah, she’s full on fucking scared of you.”

“That’s stupid,” you grumble. His finger slips to a ticklish spot and you flinch. He apologies and the two of you continue. 

“I think that she thinks that you don’t like her,” JJ explains. 

“I don’t like most people,” you shrug. “She shouldn’t take it personally.”

“You like me though,” JJ says. You frown at him, pretending to contemplate it, and JJ squishes that same ticklish spot to make you crack. Squealing, you try to wriggle out of his hold but his other hand abandons the lighter, latching around your lower leg and keeping you in place. 

“Get off me, freak,” you giggle, trying to sound vindictive. 

JJ laughs quietly as he pulls you towards him. You know what he’s after and he won’t let up until you indulge. Sighing, as if it’s some great burden, you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. He’s quick though. JJ turns his head and presses his lips to yours, kissing you with such fever that it makes you laugh. It only gets funnier with how you feel him twitch under his sweatpants, against your feet. 

“You’re such a guy,” you light-heartedly berate. 

“Damn straight,” JJ grins boyishly. “Your guy.”

“Unfortunately,” you grin, kissing him again. Then, feeling the need to clarify, “I do like Sarah, by the way. She doesn’t need to be scared of me.”

JJ reconnects your lips, giving the slightest of nods. Breaking apart, you lean to retrieve the television remote from the coffee table. 

“Which one’s this one?” JJ asks. 

“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” you reply, clicking on the title and pressing play. 

The two of you get situated, comfortable on JJ’s couch (his dad out somewhere, giving you both some peace). JJ rolls a joint as the opening credits start. He’d traded in smoking cigarettes for smoking joints, and whilst you still didn’t love it, it was a lesser of two evils. 

As a way for JJ to make it up to you, he’d agreed to watch all the movies he claimed he liked when he was first trying to score you. That education journey turned into weekly movie nights, with JJ pretending to be tortured every time despite obviously enjoying each one you showed him. He liked the Clint Eastwood ones especially, which did not surprise you in the slightest. The ones with the cowboys and the gunfights and the plots that are as loosely tied together as a pasta necklace. 

It was hard to trust him again. Harder still to believe him. You hated that it was that way and hoped that with time it would pass. There didn’t feel as though there was a wall up between the two of you, but you did feel as though you still held yourself back just slightly. You couldn’t help it. You were careful to let people in as it was and after being made a fool of once, you were in no hurry to relive it again. Especially now, when your feelings had only grown for him. It’s so annoying how easy it is to love JJ Maybank. What an asshole. 

“I am proud of the earrings. Heirlooms, you know. Been in the family for ages.”

“You’d never know it - they look just like new!”

“Oh…quite. You might be interested in my tiara. I always carry it with me - afraid to leave it in the state room.”

“And you’re not afraid to show it to Lorelia?” 

“Now stop, she won’t know you’re teasing.”

You glance over to JJ to check he’s enjoying it. As much as you liked to pretend to give him hell for what he did, you didn’t want to subject him to something he didn’t care for. He always said he liked to read the things you would write and produce on your gifted typewriter (arguably the most important and valuable thing in your bedroom). You’d taken to making short movies and films, signing up for a video class at school, and he insisted on watching every picture. It wasn’t all one sided though: you’d join him to surf and fish and had tried to get him to teach you how to skate. He’d introduced you to his friends and you liked them - especially Sarah Cameron. You just weren’t particularly good at being approachable. You didn’t do the hugging and gossiping thing with your friends. Instead, you preferred to sit and observe and listen, and pass judgement only from time to time. 

When you look at JJ, you’re surprised to find his gaze already set on you. Quietly laughing, you furrow your brows as if to silently ask ‘what is it?’ You can see the effect of the weed already setting in by his demeanour. 

“What’d I do to get you?” JJ asks. 

“You were paid by a guy to take me out,” is your deadpan response. 

He rolls his eyes and tosses his head back. “Come on, man!”

“I’m kidding!” you giggle, poking his chest with your foot. “You were cursed in a past lifetime, is what I meant to say.”

“Hell of a curse,” JJ grins, seemingly to himself. 

“I’ll say,” is your snorting response. “Do you like the movie?”

The two of you glance back to the screen as if prompted by your question. Marilyn Monroe, beautiful blonde hair almost shining through the old saturated screen, sits pretty in a purple sweater. The tiara has just been planted on her head, sparkling every which way with every tiny diamond. 

“You’d look good in that,” JJ mumbles. 

“The tiara?”

“Yup.”

“Aw. You too, babes.”

“I’m serious,” JJ chuckles. The two of you turn your attention gladly back on one another. “Marilyn Monroe ain’t got a thing on you.”

“Maybe if I give you fifty bucks you’ll think different,” you can’t help but joke. JJ tosses his head back with another award winning groan. 

“Dude! Seriously? I'm tryn'a be romantic here.” 

Feeling slightly bad - worried your borderline cruel sense of humour might be too much - you practically crawl into his lap. Your fingers stroke lovingly at his jaw, coaxing his face to meet yours. Smiling, you lean forward and tenderly press your lips onto his: a delightful feeling of arousal and peacefulness stirring inside you when you do. Breaking apart, you whisper against his mouth: 

“No regrets, screw-boy.”

He kisses you again. Then, swift as a kite, he balances his joint between his lips like some sort of red-neck before hooking his hands under your ass, picking you up and tossing you onto your back on the sofa. Your giggles are soon silenced by his lips on yours once more. As the movie fades into the background, attention now elsewhere, you get the feeling that you were the best fifty bucks JJ Maybank ever earnt and ever spent. 

[nostalgiclittlespace]

hihi! if ur taking requests…

her main cg: husk (and or) angel, whatever floats ur boat !!

little: niffty

plot: maybe niffty regresses to abt 2-3 and she’s really hyper ? like maybe they need to get her to nap or something?

thank you if you do this! don’t feel pressured if u don wanna :>

Hi!!! I honestly had a lot of fun with this one; I wrote both Angel and Husk as her CGs btw. Niffty is so chaotic when little, she’d absolutely need them both XD. I hope you enjoy!

SFW AGE REGRESSION FIC. DNI IF NSFW, K!NK, MAP, PROSHIP OR SIMILAR. DO NOT REPOST TO OTHER SITES.

Title: Sugar Rush and Storytime

Word count: 1477

Pairing: CG! Husk & CG! Angel Dust x Little! Niffty. Background Huskerdust

Description: Despite a long day of endless adventures and play, Niffty still isn’t tired. Maybe giving her so many sweet treats wasn’t a good idea after all…Good thing Husk’s storytimes a can come to the rescue! AKA, Husk and Angel are exhausted parents. (Fluff)

Sugar Rush and Storytime

“Oh, come on, Nif!” Angel exclaimed in exasperation as the little cyclops climbed up the lobby’s bookshelf.  

It was as if she were trying out for his part as resident spider.  She had been running and climbing frantically for the past ten minutes.  Husk and Angel’s team efforts to catch her had proved unsuccessful.  Even with the cat’s wings and the latter’s many arms, Nifty always evaded their grasp.  Her wiggling and teasing giggles showed just how much of a game she considered it.  Not that her caretakers were the least bit amused.

Before this, Angel and Husk’s playtime with Niffty had been a positive experience actually!  Tea parties, getting introduced to all her roaches, endless hours of games, and exploring the Hazbin Hotel…One would have assumed the girl would be ready for a break by now.  

“Snacktime, then nap,” Husk had said half an hour ago.  “She’ll settle down.”

As if the fates controlling Hell had a rather sadistic sense of humor, Niffty had not in fact settled down.

Despite their usual routine, despite all their adventures that had certainly left Angel and Husk exhausted, Niffty had no interest in taking her usual nap.

“I told you not to give her so many cupcakes!” Husk growled, trying and failing to catch her.

Right.  Niffty’s newfound energy rush might have been caused by all the sweet treats Angel Dust had given her for a snack.  But she had asked so nicely!  Looked up at him with that enormous eye and blinked so innocently, and hugged his leg happily when he agreed?  Did Husk actually expect Angel to deny the little one?  He wasn’t cold and heartless! 

“I only gave her three!” Angel argued, but broke off the argument with an abrupt,  “Aha!”

Just then, Angel snatched Niffty from the top bookshelf she had managed to climb up.  She pouted a little, exclaiming and babbling something unintelligible.  

“Gotcha, Nif!” Angel cheered, pulling her close. 

“Finally,” Husk huffed.  “Alright, Nif, naptime.”

“No!” Nifty half whined, half giggled.

Already, she tried worming out of Angel Dust’s grip.  She likely would have succeeded if the arachnid didn’t use all six of his arms to hold her steady.  Angel and Husk shared a glance, silently communicating their predicament.

It was naptime.  Niffty wasn’t tired.  Do they let her stay up, choose their battles?  Or put their foot down?

“Maybe we could let her stay up for ten more minutes?” Angel suggested quietly.  “She could let the rest of her energy out and–”

“Yeah!  A hundred more minutes!” Nifty declared, then breaking free of Angel’s hold.

The cyclops landed on the ground, and sprung up to her feet immediately.  In inimaginable speeds, she took off running.  Delightedly, she darted laps around the lobby and squealed and screamed childishly.

“No, no, no!  I said ten minutes!” Angel tried to protest before sheepishly turning to Husk.  The cat had not raised his head from a face palm.  “Uh, oops?” Angel laughed nervously.

“Next time she’s regressed, I’m kicking you off the shift,” Husk grumbled as they watched the chaos unfolding before them.

“Aw, you don’t mean that,” Angel grinned.  “No way you could stand all the tea parties and dress up without me to keep you company.  You might do some fine drag–the pink dress Nif had you in today was real pretty on you–but its hardly a show with only one dressing up.”

“Not everything is a show,” Husk grumbled as he and Angel wandered over the couch Niffty was currently launching herself from, jumping from furniture to furniture.

“You in a dress sure is though, Husky.”

Before Husk could retort, Niffty came barreling around the couch again, this time running at full speed towards the cat.  She careened into him, wrapping her arms around one leg.  If years under Alastor’s, and thus Niffty’s shenanigans, he surely would have toppled over from the strength.  However, the cat was sturdier than he looked, and managed to keep complete balance as the little cyclops clung onto him.

“Husker!” she shrieked excitedly.

“Hey there, kiddo.  You feeling tired at all yet?”

“No!  Let’s play a game!”

“We’re supposed to be having quiet time right now, Nif,” Husk reminded her, arching an eyebrow.

“Noooo,” Niffty insisted.  “No nap!”

“You don’t have to nap during quiet time,” Angel remarked slyly, clearly having something in mind.  “It just means you have to do some calm activities.  How about that?”

Tapping her chin in thought, Niffty considered the possibility.  Angel and Husk exchanged pleading, hopeful eyes.  Surely, if they could convince her to just settle down, then she would inevitably fall asleep on her own.  All that playing had to have worn her down, right?

“Only if Husker reads a story!” Niffty declared.  “Then we play tag!  And hide and seek!  Then another tea party!”

“Oh, fine,” Husk sighed, as if the request bothered him at all.

It really didn’t.  Angel knew full and well that storytime was one of Husk’s favorite activities.  Something quiet and calm, something he did well.  After all, his low, comforting voice calmed anyone who heard it.  Niffty was no exception.

The girl snatched Angel’s and Husk’s hands, already pulling them towards the couch.  Determined, she directed Husk to the center cushion before running over to the lobby bookshelf.  As she shuffled through the picture book titles, both caregivers said their silent prayers that storytime would effectively send her off to dreamland.  

If it failed, they’d inevitably be stuck chasing her around the Hotel for who knows how long…

A moment later, Niffty ran back to the couch, a large picture book in her hands and her eye glowing with excitement.  Shoving it into Husk’s paws, she then scrambled into the seat beside him.  Charlotte’s Web, Husk noted with faint amusement.  Briefly, he pondered if Niffty’s arachnid caregiver influenced the choice.  He kept the thought to himself, however, flipping it to the first page.

“Chapter one, Before Breakfast…” Husk began.

Minutes passed by.  Serenity filled the air as Husk’s voice carried through the lobby.  Miraculously, Niffty actually quieted down to listen.  Peering over his arm, she viewed the illustrations with interest.  

As the time passed, her eye grew noticeably heavier, taking longer and slower blinks.  Perhaps only a few more minutes until she fell asleep completely then…

“You may have redeemed yourself by convincing her to take the quiet time,” Husk muttered to Angel as he turned the page.  However, he received no reply.  Glancing over, he saw the Angel had his eyes closed too.

“Angel, are you asleep?” Husk hissed.  

“Hm?  Oh, no…” the spider hummed, though he sure sounded close to dreamland.  “Keep reading.”

Sighing, Husk resumed his reading.  His low voice carried through the otherwise silent lobby.  The occasional page turn or a yawn would add onto the serenity every few minutes.  

As Husk read, he felt Niffty go slack in his lap, and her breathing even out to slow, deep breaths.  On his other side, Angel was sure feeling pretty limp too; his floof of head fur tickled and teased Husk’s shoulder, and the spider made no move to sit up, even after Husk had closed the book.

“Angel?” Husk inquired quietly, in case he had indeed fallen asleep.

But, the spider only mumbled something sleepily and shrugged a little before his soft, snoozing snores resumed.

Guess I’m stuck here, Husk mused.

As he waited for Niffty and Angel to awaken again, he mused what the hell he’d do with his not-so-free time.  The TV remote was too far away to get without disturbing one or both of the sinners asleep on him.  He could read the newspaper Alastor had abandoned on the coffee table?  

Yes, that sounded like a good plan.  But, he’d just sit here for a moment too.  Just take some deep breaths to recover from the eventful afternoon he had just experienced.  Besides, the weight of Angel and Niffty on either side of him was admittedly rather relaxing…

Husk fought off a yawn of his own as he mindlessly stroked Niffty’s hair.  Somewhere along the way, he convinced himself to rest his eyelids.  Not to fall asleep of course, just to relax…

But, as if Hell found humor in turning the cat even softer, he too fell into a peaceful sleep only a minute later.  

***

It was hours later before any of them woke up.  Further proof of her endless energy, Nifty arose before Angel or Husk.  She opened her eye blearily, and looked around the empty lobby, then at the clock.  Seeing it was time to help Alastor make dinner, she slipped off the couch before snatching a cozy blanket and creeping towards Husk and Angel again.   Carefully, she tucked the blanket around her exhausted caregivers.  

Her gesture was simple compared to the endless care they showed her, but that didn’t mean it contained any less love.

[sweetkpopmusings]

long for you (act three) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: and just like that, i present to you the last installment of long for you ! i hope you enjoy the ending (i promise it's a happy one) <3 thank you so much for reading this fic :,-) pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 4.2k | warnings: none really! | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

act three: here, with you

jeongin, running back and forth from one corner of the exhibition to another, barely registers the door opening. it isn’t until he hears seungmin’s classic, hey! yang jeongin! that he breaks away from the artwork surrounding him.

“care to tell me why you’re interrupting my very important work?”

seungmin shrugs, “you have five days until opening night. there’s plenty of time. besides,” seungmin flashes his friend a golden retriever grin, “you can always make time for your favorite person in the world!”

“i…i don’t even know where to begin with unpacking that.”

“then don’t,” seungmin sets his bag down on a table near the entrance, pulls out a large stack of papers, and strides towards jeongin, “i wanted to lend you this.”

jeongin’s brow furrows, trying to make sense of whatever seungmin dropped on the worktable in front of him, “what’s here, with you and what does it have to do with me?”

“it has nothing to do with you,” seungmin laughs, “but when i was reading through it, it reminded me of your friend hyunjin and their relationship drama, which, given how much you’ve told me, i’m quite invested in.”

the gears turn in jeongin’s head as he thumbs through the manuscript in front of him. seungmin waits somewhat patiently, reminding himself that jeongin’s brain is probably too preoccupied with the art show logistics to make the connection in a timely manner.

“how would this even…oh wait, is y/n your new writer?!” 

though jeongin’s jaw has dropped from shock, seungmin calmly nods, “yeah, and this is probably illegal, so only share it with hyunjin. i don’t care too much about them reading it because i think they could…benefit from the novel’s perspective. plus, i want to know the resultant ‘tea,’ as it were.”

“how is it that none of my friends can use slang without sounding like the elderly?” jeongin sighs, putting his hand on the title page, “but understood. i’ll guard it with my life and tell hyunjin that their access must remain top-secret. do you want us to shred it after he’s finished reading it?”

seungmin shoots jeongin a why is that the first thing you thought of? look and replies, “just text me and i’ll come pick it up.”

“oh, yeah, that makes sense. well, thanks!”

“yeah, yeah,” seungmin goes to collect his bag at the front, “be sure to let me know what happens after. i’ll see you later!”

jeongin waves to his friend and pulls out his phone to text hyunjin. typically he doesn’t like to meddle in his friends’ business, but he can’t deny the excitement bubbling inside him at the thought of this book changing the course of hyunjin’s relationship with you. not to mention the bragging rights he’d have if he played a part in you two getting back together.

jeongin returns his focus to the gallery setup, keeping an ear out for the door this time, so as not to miss hyunjin’s fateful arrival.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

every time hyunjin comes back to their apartment, his eyes land on the manuscript, which sits unassumingly on the coffee table. given that meticulously selected art books are displayed on the coffee table, if one wasn’t looking for the manuscript specifically, it would remain unnoticed, merely an afterthought. 

hyunjin is always looking for the manuscript, though. try as they might to ignore it, they unconsciously glance at it every time it’s near, ensuring that it hasn’t been lost. ensuring that it’s still there, waiting for him. 

jeongin wouldn’t have passed it along if it were going to hurt him, right? hyunjin can’t think of any real reason not to read it. they don’t care about any publishing rules, and they’re not worried about jeongin telling anyone else about it. and yet, hyunjin can’t get past the title page. they long to know what truths are hidden in that stack of pages, but they fear that they’ll be hanging on to every word, unable to return to a world that isn’t filled with you. then, thoughts of his mistake swarm his mind, leaving hyunjin spiraling into regret, self-criticism, and anxiety. who knew it would be so difficult to read a book written by someone you admire?

hyunjin counts down the days to the exhibition’s opening night. they haven’t asked whether you’ll be there. jeongin could know from the rsvp list, or changbin could know through felix. he wonders if you’ll show up. he understands why you wouldn’t; hyunjin of all people could understand why you wouldn’t want to be there at all, especially on opening night. sure, they would be heartbroken–even more than they already are–if they didn’t see your face in the crowd. again, though, they can’t blame you for your absence, if that’s what you choose. plain and simple, hyunjin just misses you. they’re not sure if they have the right to reach back out to you, but he plays out scenarios in his head of what could happen at the gallery, if only you walked through the door.

“hyunjin!” changbin chirps on the phone as soon as hyunjin accepts the call, “are you excited for tomorrow?”

hyunjin smiles, “yeah, it’ll be great.”

“great doesn’t even begin to describe it! it’s only an exhibition featuring work by the most talented, most gorgeous artist in the city!”

they laugh at changbin’s enthusiasm, a slight pang in their chest emerging when they think of how you’d roll your eyes at his friend’s endless flirting, “as always, thank you for your undying support.”

“of course! now, i actually wasn’t just calling because i missed your voice. we–me, jeongin, and minho–were thinking it’d be fun to go out for a late dinner after the grand opening. you in?”

“i don’t know…” hyunjin sighs, “i’m not sure if i’ll feel up to it afterward.”

“no worries!” changbin’s smile is audible, “you can let us know tomorrow night what you feel up to. we can always celebrate you on a different day!”

“sounds great, thank you,” hyunjin replies with as much excitement as they can muster.

“well my dear, sweet, beautiful, charming, brilliant artist friend, i should let you go. i’m sure you’ve got a whole lot of prep left, and you need to get your beauty sleep! i’ll see you tomorrow night?”

“you can count on it. thanks changbin.”

“any time. i love you!”

hyunjin laughs at changbin’s extra sweet tone for i love you and his subsequent giggles, “love you too.”

changbin squeals, which prompts hyunjin to hang up before their eardrums are irrevocably damaged. 

after the phone call, hyunjin wanders around their apartment, jumping from task to task in order to take their mind off the next night’s possibilities. soon, but not soon enough, it is a reasonable time for them to go to bed. he finishes his nighttime routine, hoping slumber will come as soon as he is under the covers. unfortunately, as luck would have it, the hours pass while hyunjin lies awake, thinking of you.

they groan and climb out of bed, walking to the kitchen to make some tea. once again, even in the dark, their eyes find the manuscript. this time, however, they think if i can’t get them out of my head, i might as well read it, regardless of how much more i’ll miss them after.

with a sigh, hyunjin sinks into their couch and pulls the manuscript into their lap. they stare at the title page, saddened by the fact your name isn’t beneath the title. when they get the courage to read the first line, they smile. your voice comes through with each word, and it’s as though you’re having a conversation in his living room. hyunjin finds comfort in this, even if you’re not here with him.

after a couple of chapters, it’s apparent why jeongin gave hyunjin the manuscript. while the characters don’t follow the exact same plot as you two, their dynamic is all too familiar. the story grips hyunjin, and he craves everything it has to offer, soaking up every detail as though their life depends on it. 

much to hyunjin’s surprise, dawn is breaking when they start the last chapter. perhaps it’d be more responsible to sleep, but hyunjin can’t fathom putting your book down. if he gets the chance to look you in the eyes again, he thinks it’s only fair to do so when he can confidently express how beautiful your story is. so they charge on, desperate to know what the end is for these lovers.

as soon as hyunjin flips the last page over, they sit back into the couch cushions and take a deep breath. hyunjin smiles, proudly thinking i can’t believe they managed to make something so perfect out of something so…human. a yawn cuts the early morning stillness, so hyunjin returns his empty mug to the kitchen and shuffles into bed. spending the night with your voice, your written presence, relieves his body of all the stress it was carrying. the second his eyelids flutter shut, he slips into a peaceful slumber.

the peace is broken hours later when his alarm chimes, more aggressively than they would prefer. hyunjin checks the time, bolting out of bed when they realize they have slept through at least 30 minutes of snoozed alarms. 

frantically, they text jeongin about their potential delayed arrival, stumbling their way to the closet. hyunjin has never been more relieved by the fact that he picked out his outfit the day before.

by some miracle, hyunjin is dressed and made up with two minutes to spare. they rush to the front door, struggling to put their boots on while they simultaneously gather everything into their bag.

“oh, wait!” they exclaim to the empty apartment, kicking off their shoes.

hyunjin runs to the coffee table, flips to a page in the manuscript, snaps a picture, and hurries back toward the apartment’s entryway. in a flash, they are out the door, confident they now have everything they need to get through whatever tonight has in store.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

felix grins as he hands you a drink, “here you go!”

“thank you!” you grin back, unable to resist his cheeriness and the joy of free refreshments.

“can you believe how many people there are here?”

you follow felix’s gaze as it rakes over the crowd. you know jeongin’s gallery isn’t small by any means, but you’re still surprised this many people can fit here without breaking any fire codes. 

“i guess i can. hyunjin’s pretty well-known.”

he nods, not unaware of the way your smile falters when you say their name. 

felix lets a few beats pass, so as not to make his conversational distraction too obvious, “so, you were telling me about how you ran into chan the other day?”

“yeah,” your smile returns, “he was in town interviewing for a new job. i called him afterward, and it looks like he’s getting the offer. if it comes through, he’ll be moving here.”

“wow! that’s a bit of a plot twist,” felix chuckles, “how do you feel about him moving back here?”

“good. it’d be nice to reconnect with him after being apart for so long. while we had our obvious reasons for keeping a distance, both of us admitted that we missed being in each other’s lives. chan even said,” you bite your lip, preparing yourself for felix’s reaction, “he wants to give us another chance if he moves here.”

your friend’s jaw drops, and you can’t help the giggle that falls from your lips when you see how wide his eyes have gotten. 

“whoa! now that’s a plot twist!”

you laugh again, and felix continues, “do you want to get back together with him?”

you take a sip of your drink, pausing to find the right words, “i’ve been thinking about it a lot since he brought it up. nothing’s certain yet because he doesn’t know whether he’ll be moving here anyway. but i can’t deny that the prospect of being with chan again is appealing. i’ll always love him, and we’ve grown up now, so things could be different. of course, i realize that it’s not enough to build a relationship solely on good memories and lost potential. i guess what i’m trying to say is that–”

“hi everyone!” jeongin lightly shouts to get the attention of the crowd, “thank you all so much for coming here tonight. i always appreciate people taking the time, though i’m sure you’re here for the free food as much as you’re here for the art.”

the crowd laughs, and felix leans over to you, “tell me the rest of the chan stuff later?”

“you know it,” you whisper back, quick to turn your attention back to where jeongin stands.

“it is no secret that tonight’s artist is a friend of mine. i’ve been championing their work for years, but i have to say this collection is one of their best. while the paintings speak for themselves, please welcome hwang hyunjin for a few words on their newest series, long for you!”

you clap with the rest of the gallery visitors, trying to ignore the shaking in your hands. the nerves aren’t surprising, but they still overwhelm you. your heart pounds, unsure where he’ll appear from. it must’ve only been five seconds, but it feels as though an eternity has passed between jeongin saying his name and hyunjin stepping in front of the crowd, beautiful as ever.

you shuffle slightly behind felix, hoping this will decrease the possibility of you and hyunjin making eye contact. thankfully, it works, as hyunjin begins their speech without any sign he has noticed your presence. the second their voice spreads throughout the silent gallery, you are mesmerized, praying your face won’t give you and your lingering feelings away.

“thank you, jeongin, for the introduction and the opportunity to showcase my work,” hyunjin nods toward their friend, “this series is very special to me for a couple of reasons. when jeongin asked me to create work inspired by ‘yearning,’ i was completely at a loss. i don’t think i’ve ever experienced such a lack of inspiration before. it felt impossible, like i was staring down the first failure in my artistic career. i actually was about to back out of the agreement, but, by a stroke of luck, maybe even fate, i met someone that changed everything.”

breath hitching in your throat, you grasp onto your drink with both of your trembling hands. felix glances at you, and you nod, signaling that you’re okay. for now, at least.

“they taught me so much about art and about love,” hyunjin pauses, searching the crowd until, much to their surprise and relief, their eyes land on you, “and, after making a foolish and immature mistake, their absence taught me hard lessons about yearning. these pieces are as much about the desire you feel towards someone special as they are about the ache you feel when that person is gone. i cherish each painting because i cherish the subject, the person portrayed here, the most. in making this series, i realized that yearning is quite a selfish thing when you’re the one that created the distance in the first place. believe me when i say that i have never yearned more, nor felt more sorry, in my life.”

hyunjin’s words hang in the air, and, try as you might to keep your composure, you cannot tear your eyes from theirs. though they are across the room, the way his eyes are locked with yours yields the kind of intimacy you feel only when you are inches away from your lover. heart pounding, throat closing, eyes glistening, you hold hyunjin’s gaze because you don’t know what else to do. then, just as you feel you are being completely unraveled, they look away from you and toward the rest of the crowd.

“thank you all for bearing witness to this part of my heart. before i send you on your way to examine my latest creations, i would like to leave you with a quote from my favorite writer,” hyunjin inhales slowly, deliberately forming each word with the utmost care, “in an upcoming work, they write, ‘after all that had happened to us, and in spite of whatever would come, the center of everything was this: i have longed for you since the moment i met you; therefore, i will always love you,’” hyunjin pauses again to ensure the crowd absorbs every precious word, “i hope you all find the one you long for most, and i hope you never let them go. thank you.”

with a small bow, hyunjin ends their speech and steps away from the center of the room to the sound of applause. 

“whoa, that last part sounded like something you would write. that’s crazy!” felix faces you, shocked smile faltering when he sees your frozen state.

“yeah…” you attempt to smile when you nod in agreement, “actually, i wrote that.”

felix’s jaw drops, “oh, wow. wow. that was beautiful! you really are a force to be reckoned with. those words cut straight to the heart, y/n.”

“thank you,” your voice comes out barely as a whisper, “i’m going to get some fresh air.”

understanding your body language, felix asks, “do you want some company?”

“no, it’s okay. i’ll be right back. you stay and enjoy the art!”

felix smiles at you reassuringly, promising to be right where you left him whenever you return. much to your chagrin, in your efforts to sneak out of the gallery, you pass by hyunjin talking with a group of people. you desperately hope that he did not see you as you push through the gallery doors and step out into the fresh night.

before you can take enough deep breaths to untangle your twisted stomach, you hear footsteps behind you.

“are you okay?”

hyunjin’s voice floats through the air and envelops you. despite the anxiety and exhilaration coursing through your body at their proximity, the sound of hyunjin’s voice still manages to relax you. 

“yeah, i’m fine,” you lie, “don’t worry about me. it looked like you were in the middle of an important conversation, so you should go back before they miss you.”

hyunjin shrugs, stepping closer to you, “they’re not the ones i care about.”

“oh, i see.”

you wish you could kick yourself for such a lackluster reply, but you settle for looking away from hyunjin. there are few cars on the street, making it difficult for you to pretend you’re paying attention to anything other than the person beside you.

“i’m really sorry if it was inappropriate for me to quote you at the end of my speech without giving you credit. i was able to read your manuscript–i swear i got it through official channels–and it was so captivating and touching that i thought i could pay homage to you by mentioning it. i wasn’t thinking about the implications though, so i’m sorry.”

against your better judgment, you glance at them and smile softly, reassuringly, “no, it’s fine. i mean, it probably is a violation of confidentiality, but that’s not…i’m not upset because of that.”

“oh, so it’s the other selfish thing i did then? i do owe you an apology for that. a real one, not just one i say in a room full of other people.”

you chuckle at their delivery, unable to resist their charm. thankfully, they don’t leave you with the responsibility of responding.

“from the bottom of my heart and with everything i have, i am so sorry. i was an idiot. i…i got scared because i wanted our fake dating to turn into real dating. i didn’t know what i was doing, so i ran away. i ended our relationship because i couldn’t, wouldn’t find the courage to ask you for what i truly wanted. i hurt you, and that’s the worst thing i could have done. i’m sorry,” they pause, hoping their rambling doesn’t dilute their message, “and i don’t expect you to forgive me. i just…i owe it to you to be honest. you deserved better than what i did.”

hyunjin stares at you, kind smile coupled with a serious, tender look in their eyes. you’re stunned at how genuine their apology is, how generous they are with their true feelings. for the first time in weeks, your heart doesn’t feel so heavy.

“you ended things because you wanted…more?”

though your voice is soft, hyunjin hears you with complete clarity, “yes. in truth, i fell for you, y/n,” hyunjin chuckles, “i guess i took the fake dating trope and turned it into a fake dating to lovers storyline.”

you grin, “i can’t say i’m surprised that you’d commit that much to the bit. you’ve certainly got the romantic tendencies of an artist.”

you join their laughter this time, waves of relief washing over you. even after everything, the cold night transforms into something much more comforting when hyunjin is here with you.

“though i don’t deserve it, i would like to be with you. i want to be your partner again, but a real one, if you’d let me.”

“hyunjin…” you face them fully, absorbing the tenderness of the moment, feeling your stomach fill with butterflies and your heart fill with longing.

all the questions, uncertainties, and anxieties that have filled your days since hyunjin walked out of that restaurant come back to you. at the same time, all the hopes you had when you were getting to know hyunjin hit you full force. though you were working to be okay with a future that didn’t include hyunjin, you can’t deny that there remains a part of you that wants everything you had with them. those two months filled with hyunjin felt so right. it wasn’t just the fact that they inspired you and played an instrumental role in the completion of your first novel. no, it was just as jisung had pointed out: hyunjin changed your outlook on love, for the better, by being the kind of person you could love and be loved by. 

“it’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” hyunjin smiles, “you deserve to know that someone out there feels this way about you. you deserve to know that you touched me profoundly, and i’m forever changed for the better because i met you.”

tears prick the corners of your eyes, feeling pure happiness for the first time in weeks, “i feel the same. i…” 

you sigh, at a loss for the right words that could capture everything you’re thinking. they don’t pressure you into responding quickly, but, not wanting to leave them in suspense, you settle for the simplest expression of your heart.

“i want to be with you too, hyunjin. if you’d let me, of course.”

you swear you’ve never seen someone smile so brightly before. instinctively, you reflect their joy, savoring the moment that rewrote your story from one of heartbreak to one of hope. this, you think, is the kind of thing you wouldn’t have thought was realistic before you met hyunjin.

“you know, i was almost late for the show tonight,” hyunjin chuckles, a little sheepishly, “i overslept and had to rush out of my apartment to get here in time. normally i would never dream of getting ready so quickly, but i managed to make it here with a few minutes to spare. even jeongin was surprised.”

hyunjin laughs, and you tease, “i’m surprised too. it’s pretty out of character for you to rush to do anything,” you giggle at hyunjin’s pout, “what was so different this time?”

though your tone was playful, hyunjin looks at you sweetly and replies in a voice full of sincerity.

“i guess,” they reach out and intertwine your hands, “deep down i knew i was rushing my way back to you.”

oh.

you smile down at your hands, flushing pink from the warmth of hyunjin’s touch. you feel their eyes on you, but you take your time before meeting their gaze again, wanting to convince yourself that this moment is, in fact, real.

“i guess i need to call chan and tell him that i just want to be friends.”

“wait!” hyunjin frowns, “who’s chan?”

you laugh at their childish expression, endeared as always by his flair for the dramatic, “don’t worry. changbin flirts with you waaaaaay more than chan ever would with me.”

hyunjin cackles at this, jealousy subsiding into pure joy at the fact that you’re choosing him over someone, anyone else. they too have to convince themself that this dream has really come true.

hyunjin points their head toward the door, “shall we go back inside?”

you nod, “i’m sure people are wondering where the guest of honor is hiding.”

hyunjin laughs, leading you back towards the gallery full of art enthusiasts and paintings apparently inspired by you, “i think it’s time i introduce everybody to my muse.”

you smile, falling into step beside hyunjin without a second thought. as you two leave the cold night and weeks of longing for one another behind you, you think that maybe, just maybe, it’s not only fictional lovers that get the happy endings they deserve. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght @tirena1 (<333 tysm)

[thelightsandtheroses]

1.5: You're face to face with the man who sold the world

Your Hand In Mine | Joel Miller x female reader.

Word Count: 1k Drabble Summary: The morning after meeting you at your insomnia bench, Joel and Ellie meet Tommy for breakfast and Joel reflects on his life in Jackson and the opportunities it presents for Ellie. Warnings: TLOU Part 1 plot spoilers, implied angst, introspectio, no other warnings come to mind, this is very much just some Joel introspection and me starting to delve into his perspective. You do not need to have read Your Hand In Mine to understand this but if you're reading the fic it bridges chapter 1 and 2. Notes: This is my very first drabble and a bit of an experiment for me and has helped me through a little writing block. The next full chapter will be coming soon and will include lots of interaction between the reader and Joel. Drabble title from the song Man Who Sold The World by David Bowie/covered by Nirvana (this is the version I personally love)

Series List | Chapter One |

Joel observes as Ellie takes another forkful of food, her gaze rising to watch him for a second before turning her attention back to her meal.

Change hasn’t always meant great things for Ellie. Jackson has been a big adjustment. She’s back at school after almost a year on the road, after everything they endured there. It’s her first time in a school not run by FEDRA though, her first time living in a community like this.

Joel still remembers Before, but he knows Ellie has no point of reference here. He’s never truly thought about that before, about the way this world looks to kids born after the outbreak. He’s been too lost in his grief and survival to ever think about things like that, but now he thinks about it all the time.

He takes a forkful of his own food, trying to stifle a yawn. Ellie doesn’t need to know he’s not sleeping; he doesn’t need her worrying about him. Colorado was bad enough. He’s supposed to look after her. That’s why he bought her here after Salt Lake City.

From the corner of his eye, Joel notices Tommy walk into the hall. Tommy raises a friendly hand before getting his own portion of food and joining them as your earlier words echo in Joel’s mind.

Heard you and Tommy are good on patrol …

Years ago, Tommy abandoned left him in Boston. He made it clear that the way they’d survived haunted him and whether he said it or not, he blamed Joel. Probably still does. 

Joel can carry that though. It’s okay. He kept his brother alive, didn’t he? So, as far as he’s concerned, he did his job and maybe there were better ways, but he worked with the tools he had at the time.

‘Hey Joel, Ellie,” Tommy says cheerfully.

“How’s it going?” Joel asks.

“It’s good, it’s good.” Tommy pauses. Despite his bright exterior, Joel recognises his sleep deprived eyes. His brother’s expression is one he remembers well from when Sarah was a baby. It’s strange to see it mirrored on his baby brother’s face now; a sign of how much time has really passed.

“Yeah, you look like it’s real good,” Joel says wryly. “Baby keeping you up?” Tommy’s a father now. Joel wishes it didn’t tear a little piece of his heart apart each time he looks at his niece’s face, but it does. It should be a blessing not a wound, but it cuts him so deeply.

She’s like Sarah, but she’s not Sarah. 

“She’s sleeping a little,” Tommy retorts quickly.

“Oh yeah?” Joel asks, raising an eyebrow at Ellie who fails to stifle her own laugh.

“Yeah.” Joel remembers how when his niece was born, Tommy had boasted she was sleeping already, that she was going to be a good baby.  Joel didn’t quite have the heart to warn him this was common, that she was unintentionally lulling him into a false sense of security.

His brother has made a life here. Maybe Joel can do the same, maybe it isn’t too late. He can feel that promise of hope, something he can hardly even remember from before.

The last twenty years have been built on violence, threat assessment and mitigation. They’ve been about survival and nothing else.

Until now.

Jackson is the first place Joel thinks he might be able to breathe. If there weren’t the continual ghosts of what he’s done,  the fact he’s keeping the truth about what happened at that hospital from Ellie.

He’d do it again for her though.

Every. Damn. Time.

It doesn’t make it any easier to sleep at night though.

  He didn’t expect to run into anyone when he left the house this morning. In Boston when he didn’t sleep, there were pills and alcohol, but it’s different now. He just needed to clear his head, walk around a little so he didn’t disturb Ellie.  He’d found the bench a few days before, but he could never have anticipated you being there too, or that either of you would start talking.

When Joel looks across the hall, as he listens to Ellie and Tommy talking, he notices you’re walking into the hall as if his thoughts had somehow summoned you.

He watches you smile broadly as you sit with two men and a teenage boy. You’re deep in conversation, a faint smile on your face as you collect your food and your group sit a couple of tables away from Joel’s family and dive into an animated conversation.

When Joel next looks over, you tip your head slightly as you laugh, bare a tiny bit of throat. He shouldn’t notice that.

You’re both the same and completely different to the woman he met on the bench last night. He notices you stifle a yawn when you think no one is looking, the only hint he’s seen that you’re hiding something from your group.

There’s something about you, about the conversation you shared that is drawing him in like a siren’s song.

He could ask Tommy about you. He could find out more about who you are, who you’re with, the life you lead outside of a bench in the middle of the night. Seeing you with your group, he recalls vague introductions and details from when he first came to Jackson. You’re something to do with the library? He can’t remember the links between the two men and you, but he recognises enough of you in the teenage boy to make the connection that he is clearly a relative of some type.

It doesn’t feel right to ask for information though. He’s curious, but something in Joel tells him that if he wants to get to know you, the real you, then all he needs to do is walk over to that bench on another sleepless night.

“Everything okay?” Ellie asks, looking up from her plate with a frown. “Joel?”

Tommy looks over at Joel then, raises an eyebrow with a silent question.

“Sure, kiddo. Hey, did you say you found a new book on space the other day?”

“Yeah, I did,” she says animatedly, “It’s really cool actually. The library here has a lot of books that weren’t in my old school library. Plus, they have DVDs, Joel. DVDs!”

Joel can’t help the way his smile widens as he listens to Ellie continue to talk. Everything he did between Boston and Salt Lake City; it was worth it for this.

He can feel hope setting root in his body, unfamiliar and strange. Maybe change is a good thing.

Tag List

YHIM: @orcasoul @pedropascalsbb g@yoursoulsunbreakable @iamskyereads @genetics4life@everyth1ngfan @frickatives @perennialdoll247 @joels-darlin @anavatazes @survivingandenduring @suzmagine @srmacaroni

Everything Pedro tag-list: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk

If you want to be added to (or removed from) one of the tag lists, let me know or you can get notifications for @thelightsandtheroses-fics if you prefer. If you do not have an age or age range showing you are over 18, I will not add you to this list. I block ageless and blank blogs.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

For the fic title game: hm... "just deserts?"

Ooo I think this one is gonna wind up being one I have to write in full.

So, you know how during Ed's probation period, the crew were generally really hard on him to his face but forgave him pretty easy? Roach and Jim both give him a tough time during his apology, but later Jim says they thought his apology was pretty good, and Roach thought it was "amazing." No one agrees with Lucius that Ed needs to do more than what he's already doing.

But Ed doesn't get to see that! So the plot is Ed working himself up over how the crew just aren't, from his perspective, responding to his efforts to do better. He's got a few (Fang and Frenchie, probably) on his side, but the others keep giving him a tough time. They do things like nitpick things he says, question his judgment, maybe Ed gets wind of how Roach thought he'd hurt Stede on purpose and Lucius suggested chopping his leg off. They don't realize they're going too far, because Ed really does need to make amends, but altogether it's just way too much for Ed.

So Ed's worried he's not safe. He thinks they all want him to be punished more and they're just waiting to give him his "just deserts." Stede notices he's acting strange, visibly scared to talk in front of everyone and nervous to be too far away from Stede. He's acting insecure and frightened and Stede hates it, because when he says he wants the ship to be a safe space, he meant that for everyone and Ed clearly doesn't feel safe.

Honestly I want to engineer a situation where Ed gets to get angry because he hasn't gotten a fucking crumb of sympathy from anyone. And yeah, he hurt them, and he feels awful about it and he feels like he'd deserve whatever punishment they wanted to give him, but he'd been in so much pain and so ready to die and the vibe is making it really hard for him to move on from that, guys! I don't like that Izzy got all the sympathy despite having very objectively worse behavior in s1, and I want Ed to get to be upset about it, too.

In the end the crew would be like, shit, yeah, you fucked up big time, but this isn't helping. And we'd get to see them starting to really welcome Ed in, give him space for more personal, individual apologies and for him to receive sympathy and comfort in return, and just help each other see they're okay and everyone's safe.

Yeah thanks anon! I'm probably gonna write this one.

Send me a made-up fic title and I'll tell you what I would write to go along with it!

[medufasa]

Cool lachambers fics

For @zzzzivy , and anyone else who cares

Everything I Ever Knew About Chris Chambers (*ongoing* - (by heartsflutter; Ao3)

Let The Butterfly Soar (by Goddess Myzt (pretty damn slashy warning) - fanfiction.net))

A 3 parter: Of Sinking Or Swimming (first), In A Savage land (second), The Roaring Silence (third and final)(all by Nenia; they posted it on both fanfiction.net & Ao3) < I believe this was the one I fucking bawled my eyes out on that I talked about before

- Down By The River

- Promise (both by i-nv-u50; fanfiction.net)

Testing the waters (by itbeme: fanfiction.net) in all seriousness I can't remember what happens in this one for the life of me but I did read it

Sweltering Cigarette (by Novelnova; fanfiction.net) (warning,, slashy at times, I believe)

Summer Racing (by NeonTypewritters; fanfiction.net)

Kiss Off (by Princess Lo; fanfiction.net)

A Feeling (by daveylover75; fanfiction.net) A cute little short one

2 parter: Chambers Charm (first), All Knowing Ace Chambers Charm (second and final) (both by iPlu; fanfiction.net)

Paper Prayer (by LadyLove5000; fanfiction.net)

Like Catching Lighting (by Jomellie; fanfiction.net)

Wonderwall (by PolkadotSunstar; fanfiction.net)

Only a Dream? (by BoatsAgainsTheCurrent;

fanfiction.net) < they've made quite a few sbm books (at least one other one being another lachambers fic that I haven't read yet)

A Chris Chambers Holiday (by CherryCokesandWinterSmokes; fanfiction.net)

- All I Want For Christmas

- Stand By You (both by Cynaro of Notre Dame; fanfiction.net) < a bit overly dramatic I recall, but I was invested nonetheless. I also liked the stupid little notes they'd add about the new world order or something at the end of each chapter

Letters (by okayros; fanfiction.net) < very short and sweet!

LaChambers Christmas Story (by cyclops-kiddo; fanfiction.net)

Another 3 parter: Those Were The Days (first), Just Once In My Life (second), It's All Coming Back To Me Now (third and final) (all by secretdemeanor; fanfiction.net)

Stand by Me Always (by Subliminally Profound; fanfiction.net)

Our Home Is Eachother (MauMauKa; fanfiction.net) < the author is questionable... 😭

Stand By Me: Come Go With Me (by TheGeorgieB; fanfiction.net)

Beyond Back Harlow road (by Novem; fanfiction.net) < Muah

- The Price Of Milk (by paper-star-paper-cup; fanfiction.net) < I actually really liked this one ngl tho the plot was kinda crazy

- Wake Up, You've Got Boy Problems (same author and site as previous) < I really liked this one too lol

The Game (by queenofbleach; fanfiction.net & Wattpad) < YALL OK this one was FUCKING CRAZY despite the how unassuming the title is like I actually felt bad reading this cuz it's so..... Yeah. But the ending was sweet. Very fucking slashy,, Chris was a huge dick in this one

Stand By Me (by RavenclawDoll; fanfiction.net)

Maybe You Should've Stayed Someone I Know (by LivieBear; Ao3) < I fucking love how the suspense sorta played near the end of it

Lachambers- Forbidden (by Imvnlla; Ao3 & Wattpad) < this one was soo freaking cute it was like a gay Romeo and Juliet fr. It remains unfinished by one chapter which is probably never going to get completed but it's mostly finished; you could easily figure out an ending from where it ended (slashy in chapter 7)

Lachambers- What If? (Same author and sites as previous) < This one was so good too I think it was one of my first lachambers fics I've read. Slashy and dramatic tho

Une Danse Pour l'Eternité - [ Lachambers ] - (by kass2812; Ao3) < it's all in French pretty much, but there's an option to translate the page into English and it's a pretty solid translation I find. Super cute

these chemical reactions are dividing me (try to keep my eyes closed) (by s0ld_it; Ao3)

One of Our Stories (by BlueDaria; Ao3)

And If This Is What It Takes (by unbelieve; Ao3) < this one was great,, also one of my firsts

Five times they asked eachother if they were ok and one time they didn't have to (by ellsmax; Ao3) < literally the tilte; 6 short cute scenarios

swear I was born in the doorway (by Second_hand_news; Ao3) < modern era 😱😱

Last Chance (by octothorpetopus; Ao3)

Blue-eyed Blond (by fuckfacerichie; Ao3) < what a name, eh? Anyways I like the fics more when they're actually together but dis is cute

Feeling Blue (But Never in Your Arms)

(Anonymous writer; Ao3) < REALLYYYYYY self deprecating but like it gets sweeter since they have eachother and stuff .. aged up smut tho be warned

Where's my love? (by marvelous_inactive; Ao3) < wild and feels kinda unfinished or bittersweet, rather

- Astronomy In Reverse

- Bright Out (both by lachances; Ao3)

yeah ! (by bitchbabytears; Ao3)

Teeth (by hyperrbolic_orange; Ao3)

A Generic GordieChris Slash Fic (by Izout; Ao3) < I fucking laughed the first time reading this

I Won't Be Afraid (by DirtiestGirlInAmerica (LaynaVile); Ao3)) < sad

Letting Go (by Kass; Ao3)

I can't remember shit for most of these but ik I've read all of them and liked em

I may add more later idk I know practically all lachambers fics out there no fucking lie. There's maybe 7 I haven't actually read but I know where to find them 😭 I wish there was more /g

[readreactrant]

'Tale of Winter and Spring' another goyuu arranged marriage fic that might just become a fave despite some reservations of mine!!! Let me explain!!! (Rec Review and thoughts)

This review was so sweetly requested by the actual author and lovely mutual of mine @star2112 (really love their name for some reason). So with that context and their permission I'll be going a bit more in depth, and letting them know where I feel they could improve upon. I do keep in mind that many ao3 authors aren't from the pro writing background so I'll be super gentle.

But before we get to that I will give you a quick summary and listing out the fic's strong points (and there are a lot (✿ ♡‿♡)

CW for review and the story itself: there will be spoilers in this rev so if you want to read it before hearing my thoughts go ahead and follow the link in the title. The story involves mpreg, omegaverse and dub con.)

Tale of Winter and Spring is set in historical Japan as all good fics should be, where Yuuji is given away to Gojo by his older brother Sukuna. Thing is Yuuji is in love with next heir of the Zenin clan, Megumi and he's very, very, very unhappy with what's happening. Nevertheless he goes through it all with some very un-Yuuji like gloom )don't worry, we'll get to that). Its an ongoing fic so we don't know the end or which direction the plot itself is taking but for now there's a whole lot of intrigue and hints of Geto coming into the picture to ruin (or maybe not ruin) everything happening.

There's a handful of things that made this story a bit challenging to read but one of the many things I have to give props to is the development of the FushIta relationship side of Yuuji's story. I don't hate FushIta but it's one of many jjk ships that makes me grit my my teeth when it's not a side story in a goyuu ntr fic. So reading the development of their bond here… actually made me kick my feet a bit, is the author a FushIta shipper in disguise??? We'll never know ig ¯_(ツ)_/¯

There's the flashback scene where they're talking about books they read and after some banter Yuuji's like,

"hey megumi… in the future, let's go North, and see if those demons are real or not."

And I felt that, especially since Yuuji does end up going North (Gojo's Clan location if I remember correctly) but Megumi isn't there with him and it's much colder and lonely for him since he can't relate to Satoru at all.

Genuinely almost sobbed ಥ‿ಥ

Another thing I did enjoy was Sukuna's backstory and part of me really wanted more of it and him. It's said he got his hands dirty but I'd love to know what exactly this entails as it would really add more depth to the evilness of his character which is mostly told but not shown. It's easy to so say oh this character does evil things and imply that constantly but harder to display those evil things and show them doing the tragedies that solidify them in the reader's mind like 'yeah, this dude is the worst'. Example, Sukuna throughout the entirety of jjk lollll.

And there was an opportunity for the story to show one of such things which I'll get to in the critique part of this review.

I also really love the characterization which is very important you're making and alternate world. You don't always have to put characters in roles they'll fit but one thing I do like is when a they reflect that role with their canon personalities. And I know someone's already going "well fanon doesn't care about canon" which is fine and true but realistically many fanfic readers, myself included aren't into ooc content. What counts as ooc does vary from person to person tho, especially bc different people interpret characters differently.

Despite the various interpretations there is a common way a character is viewed and enjoyed, which is why, despite how much I enjoyed reading, there was something about Yuuji that constantly…called out to me.

I'm getting into the critique section now to talk about that. Where the writing shines in dialogue and interesting world building, it's kind of falls back in consistency.

Somewhere at the start, in the wedding scene, Utahime says they all have high expectations of Yuuji putting Gojo in his place with kind of indicates a firey kind of attitude but up until this point Yuuji has being quiet and avoidant and kind of continues to be until some of the later chapters. So it's weird she puts this responsibility on him when his character hasn't shown any signs of it. It's not one of more glaring instances but it's one that precedes a few others.

There's another part where Yuuji apologizes for speaking angrily, but Gojo says he doesn't have to because he knows he's the problem. Yuuji's internal thoughts proceed to view that as his apology being discarded which don't exactly make sense to me and ends up feeling like he's looking for reasons to be nitpicky at this point.

Character building isn't a huge problem but it's always the little things that manage add to the overall picture. There's a scene where Sukuna wants to take Yuuji to the Zenin clan and Wasuke doesn't want him to bc everyone thinks Sukuna wants to sell him off. Thing is Sukuna says he's not depraved enough to use an omega child like that but in my opinion it would have done his story and Yuuji's a greater service for him openly consider it and hold that over Yuuji's head for good behavior. He's evil, even if he'd actually never do it, evil people say evil shit.

With all this talk about characters it's time I finally expand on what really got to me and that would be Yuuji. My baby boy is literally all over the place. Yuuji canonically is a very social characters, eager to please and more ready than usual to give other's the benefit of a doubt. Here he's very quick to judge and overly guarded to me.

Now, I'm not saying has to overly friendly either but there's a balance that could struck with him not insulting or assuming things of Gojo constantly, and yeah the white haired bastard doesn't make it especially easy but one of Yuuji's admirable traits is his fortitude and patience with those around him.

Nevertheless, a part of me does think this was a stylistic choice to convey the disparity of Yuuji's behavior with his two love interests; Yuuji is only truly his best self with Megumi and the worst with Gojo. And understanding this, I was able to look past his behavior with the hope and interest of seeing both him and Gojo warm up to each other.

Also, did I mention it's still a mystery why Gojo asked for Yuuji's hand in marriage. Either that or it was mentioned that it's bc of his scent and I forgot (I've been through a lot this week forgive me (〒﹏〒)

My final critique is the writing structure and grammar. Grammar and writing are like 80% of a fic for me. If I don't vibe, no matter how interesting the concept I just might not read.

Thing is, I do vibe with Star2112's writing a lot, it simple yet beautiful in the way in which it conveys the emotions and moods of the story and characters. I enjoyed reading the scene where Yuuji freaks out cuz Gojo didn't spend the wedding night with him and now it may harm his reputation and Sukuna's. I enjoyed every FushIta interaction and I most definitely enjoyed when towards the ending of chapter 8, Yuuji allows Gojo to touch his belly and feel the baby while the Alpha spoke it (also Gojo wants to be a girl dad and that made me throw my phone across the room screaming cuz cuuuute (●♡∀♡)!!!!)

What I didn't enjoy was the structure of the sentences.

"Sentences work like this," Ren says. ✅

" Not like this, " They add. ❌

Figuring out how dialogue and quotations work are a big step for every author's writing journey, it's common not to know if you end with commas of full stops but for the most part, that doesn't really matter. Leave no spaces between the quoted sentence and the quotations marks and always start a new statement with a capital, doesn't matter if it was a continuation of what they were saying in a previous sentence.

Capital.

Grammar-wise, there were a lot of frequent errors but none to glaring and they could all be fixed with a more thorough read through. It can be pretty hard without a beta reader bestie but I believe you, there's so much talent for you not to give the best reading experience you're able to.

Overall, this is definitely a fic I would recommend to avid arranged marriage goyuu fans that love the DRAMA (and if you're like me who likes to read Megumi getting cucked, tho it's not exactly cheating here we'll manage ( ꈍᴗꈍ)💕

At the end of the day, a lot of this advice is partly objective, all authors are free to take what they feel they want to work on and leave the rest. Or leave it all because what matters about writing and fanfiction is that you enjoy what you do. Other's enjoying it is just a bonus/by product.

And to Star2112, you're doing so good, keep it up, I'm subbed and ready to see more, especially if I'll get to read goyuu raising their kid or kids, I'm a sucker for 'oop it's twins'. I'd also encourage you to read more books outside fanfic if you don't if you're still interested in dialogue and sentence structure. You have a strong voice and I think working on your weak points will really amplify that. I'm honored you came to me and hope I was able to help.

If anyone else wants to request, recommendations and reviews are kinda two different things. If you Recommend me a fic and I may or may not talk about it, depends. If you request I Review (for analysis and advice) a fic it has to be yours and you'll have to prove it to me. Depending on what you want I'll either write a post or just let you know my thoughts privately. DMs open so don't be shy.

Thanks for sticking to the end, go check out Star's work to get in on that action and happy Easter my precious freaks!!!

Ps: will edit this later, my brain is literally on fire, bye lovelies (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[johaerys-writes]

pls pls pls pls pls drop more lore on WMD!

Oh gosh can I just tell you how much I love you for asking me more about this alsfhdj original fic writing is so much lonelier than fanfic because you can't really scream about your OCs the same way you would about a well known character, but so much of my brainpower has been going into writing & plotting this one lately so YEAH anyway thank you thank you 🥹🙏 Here's a few tidbits of lore:

1. WMD is short for "watch me drown" which is the temporary title of the doc, both because I've had "Oh No" by Biig Piig on repeat for this story, but also because part of the story has to do with eldritch horror-type entities that pull your mind into a separate plane which is like an abyss/the bottom of the sea 👀

2. The main character is a human/synthetic hybrid who was recruited as a child into a company/organisation that created super soldiers essentially, so he was vigorously trained and he also underwent a series of procedures to give him extra abilities (resistances to the elements and certain kinds of damage, having a sort of built in "interface" in his head so he can communicate with others in his team without risk of interference, being able to scan and map out places quickly etc). People like him are often used as mercenaries or members of private armies or are hired by the actual army or the police force for sticky and difficult situations. When children start disappearing under mysterious circumstances and their bodies are found under more mysterious circumstances, he and a few members of his team were hired as extra guns and also to investigate the places where evidence was found as reconnaissance experts. After years of fighting bullshit wars and seeing ppl in his crew dying over and over again, he sort of becomes obsessed with that case and makes it a personal mission to find those kids and stop whoever is behind the abductions/rapes/murders. Only he does a little TOO well, he gets too close and sees things he shouldn't have and his team is wiped out, but he manages to save one kid and take it to relative safety before fleeing (of course after that he is blamed for everything that had been going on and the media goes on a sort of crusade against synths)

3. The other protagonist, the kid, grows up barely scraping by and basically fending for himself in the Big City, blending into anonymity as much as he can. Eventually he gets involved with the underworld in order to survive and he makes some questionable connections, but he manages to track down the main character, and together (alongside a crime boss whom the kid has befriended and who is helping them for his own nefarious reasons LOL) they try to find whoever was behind that ring because the abductions never stopped.

4. Needless to say the kid has a MASSIVE crush on the MC and has been thinking about him for years at this point LMAO he definitely has a saviour kink and no one else could ever compare 😩🙏 The MC is way more sceptical bc the boy is like half his age and also despite how full of horror and tragedy his life has been he has little to no experience with love/romance since so much of it was spent either following orders or surviving. So he definitely has a crisis right there the moment he sees the skinny and terrified little creature he'd rescued back then all grown up and drooling after him ahah. They end up having their fair share of awkward sex and complicated feelings for each other, in the process of dismantling that child trafficking ring (/unhinged eldritch monster loving cult 😬)

Anyway lol I'll stop here but once again thank you so much for letting me ramble about this story 🙏💙

[foodsies4me]

I'm FASCINATED by the implications of 'that one ABO fic I don't want to write'

Alright so first on how the wip got its title! (Altough, I have since changed it to 'that omega fic I don't wan't to write' because I saw that one post where apparently without the slashes that word is a slur which is something I keep forgetting as in my native language that word means subscription or pass. Languages, so messy and yet so fun.

But, first and foremost! Why is it titled that way? Well, it's simple I am not a fan of omega-fics. No judgment at all to people who like them, they're just not my personal taste. Same goes with M or E-rated fics, again not something I usually read, even less something I write. I especially am not a fan of dubcon fics, even if said dubcon would have been enthusiastic consent if everyone would have been in their right state of mind.

This fic has all of this. (Or at least is veering in that direction)

It's a bunny that sprouted out of nowhere and it just won't shut up. I hoped writing everything down into a file would make me stop thinking about it. And, lo and behold, it didn't. Shocker! So yeah, I don't actively work on it, but I still find myself writing down scenes when the plot-bunny gets too insistent. Don't know if I'll ever post it, though, because it's so different from everything else I write.

Now, for the premiss: The fic isn't particularly anything super interesting worldbuilding-wise, but the Clave being the Clave, looks down on Omega's. Maryse being Maryse gave her infant Omega son (Alec's soul mark gave that one away) a potion meant to change him into a Beta and suppress his soul bond. She received this potion from Iris Rouse, who agreed to brew it in return for her freedom as she had been a captive from the Circle/Clave back then.

However, Maryse didn't know that Rouse only gave her a potion that would suppress Alec's heats and him presenting as an Omega, not change him into a Beta. On top of that, the magic inside of it is comparable to a dam aka the suppressed heats have been building up without Alec knowing, and all she has to do is hit him with the antidote and Alec will be hit with 5 years' worth of heats that will be sure to incapacitate him because while an Omega might not lose their mind during a heat in the slightest, having 5 year's worth of it hit you like a freight train at once, is bound to do so.

Of course, this is what ends up happening, ending Alec's sadness about Magnus being the love of his life, but he not being his because he's not his soulmate (surprise, surprise, he is!) But not before some things go really sideways and Magnus nearly levels the whole of New York in his fury.

So yeah, this is a brief summary about the fic and why it's one of the two fics that I am more or less writing despite my not wanting to write them. Yes, both fics know they're not well-loved. No, it doesn't stop them from being insistent, which just makes them even less loved.😑

I may have ended up rambling too much, oops

[toomanyplotbunnies-sendhelp]

Hello and welcome to Day 6 of "Let's Explore My Plot Bunnies"

Today, I wanna explore a Mo Dao Zu Shi fic idea that started because of another fic.

I started reading "Cultivation Chat Group - Scum Villain Edition" by shorimochi on AO3 (link here) a week ago. I have never heard of "Cultivation Chat Group" as a novel at all before this, so I checked the novel updates synopsis before I read the fic.

My brain, my wonderful but annoying brain, just went, "Ya know, this is the type of bullshit Wei Wuxian would get himself into in a Modern AU where Cultivation is some secret/legend" after reading the synopsis.

From there, it turned into a Modern AU + College AU + Cultivation is a secret that normal people don't know about AU + Wei Wuxian can see Ghosts AU + Reicarnation without memory (yet) (on Wei Wuxian's side) AU (Basically, everyone is an immortal in the chat group but Wei Wuxian, who is still a normal-ish human)

So, I present to you:

"Cultivation Chat Group - Wei Wuxian Edition" (title in working)

(Attempt at) Summary:

Wei Ying has always been a very... weird child. Despite being in the top students in his class, he is almost always absent-minded and not that interested in studying. Despite being a charming and sociable child, he always seems to keep himself back from forming closer bonds with his classmates. Despite being a seemingly well-adjusted child, many would see him talking and laughing at the air - which did sprout some spooky rumors about him.

Wei Ying, however, would say that he is quite content with his life - thank you very much. Sure, he sometimes sees things that many can't (and most times, he helps the little souls? spirits? pass on peacefully even if it did cause him troubles), but it's not that bad.

He is currently in his 1st year of university and aiming for a foreign language degree. He has friends (who have yet to be driven away by his "weird behavior," as others have told him). All in all, life is good.

And then, one day, he gets an invitation to a chat group. A chat group that he only intended to enter just to tell them that whoever sent the invitation got the wrong person. But he misses the timing... several times over.

Wei Ying gives up and decides that even if he is in this chat group, since they will realize soon they got the wrong person, he will just not interact at all.

(It's not like he wants to interact with them either. Especially since they seem to be into some role play thing with "cultivation", "cores"," and "corpses" (which wtf!?? Should he call the police?) and "spiritual weapons."

.... Yeah, no. He is definitely never interacting with these crazy people.)

"Let's just ignore this, and it will go away."

Final last words, Wei Ying.

Some small details:

WWX's name in the chat will be "Yiling Laozu," which is a silly nickname he uses on sites so that his friends don't recognize him. The name comes from "Yiling," which is the name of the street he lived on when he was young. "Laozu" is just something that WWX felt it was right to add - don't ask him why, he couldn't tell you.

WWX takes classes for 3 languages: Chinese, English, and Korean (he had to deal with spirits of tourists who didn't know English or Chinese and only Korean.. it was a headache and a half). WWX wants to learn as many languages as possible (at least to conversation level) so that he won't have to do miming or drawings to communicate with the spirits. (Just because you die in China, it doesn't mean you can fluently speak chinese in death - unfortunately)

He fully believes everyone in the chat group has some screws loose.

But he still ends up interacting with them (irl) because he found 4 children (more like 3 kids with manners and 1 with a short fuse) wandering around in the city while loudly talking about their "cultivation mission" or something. WWX doesn't want the kids to be attacked by some drunk bastard on the street because they are spewing bullshit so he decides to become their babysitter for a day. ("It's gonna be easy." - yeah about that)

What WWX is not aware of is that the "Junior Quartet" he met were not the first people from the chat group he met in real life. Some of those members attend his university and share classes with him.

The Reincarnation AU think I mentioned basically means "WWX has lived once before, which is why a lot of the cultivation stuff he reads in the chat he feel like he understands. In his previous life, WWX became something akin to an omen of death since he was always seen controlling resentful energy. He was never part of the Jiang Clan but grew up in Yiling and ended up staying at the Burial Grounds later on. He and LWJ crossed blades a lot in that life since they were on opposite sides when it came to the correct path of cultivation: LWJ said resentful energy is bad; WWX said resentful energy is natural and still energy and that if it wasn't a natural energy of the world, nature and heaven itself would revolt against it. In the end, WWX died from an ambush led by the other clans against him since he was seen as a heretic."

Just to be sure I mention it: in his past life WWX was never called "Yiling Laozu" so no one in the chat group knows who he is supposed to be (yet).

LWJ mourned WWX's death. Despite going down that path, WWX never killed without reason. LWJ met him a few times before he realized that he was using resentment in his cultivation, so LWJ saw a WWX who was incredibly kind, warm, and, surprisingly, childish. When he learned of his cultivation, LWJ was merely worried for his health.

This is why when LWJ sees Wei Ying again in the modern time, he is very much looking to help and protect Wei Ying this time around.

LWJ, seeing Wei Ying again at University: You are just as beautiful as the day I lost you.

WWX: What?

LWJ: What?

This is about all I have for this one right now. So, what do you guys think?

Honestly, this, for me, was fun to think about. The act of bringing cultivation into the modern world where technology reigns supreme is very funny since I can tell you right now Lan Qiren doesn't know how to operate a phone at all, and I feel like car rides make him nauseous.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and also please check out both the fic that started all this and the novel if you haven't yet. (They are both good and soo funny).

Till next time,

- TooManyPlotBunnies-Send Help

[anonyhex]

Just a trick of the light?

Okay so this is a fun one--it started with me becoming obsessed with Amalee's English cover of "Idol", the theme song for an anime called Oshi no Ko. (flashing warning, but the video for it is here!)

In the context of the original anime, it's from the viewpoint of a key character that's a teenaged girl in the "pop idol" industry of Japan. Due to her background as a kid that grew up in the foster system because of an uncaring mother, she doesn't have a good understanding of what an actual caring relationship of any sort looks like--so she throws herself into lying about "loving" her fans in the way that idol culture tends to create unhealthy parasocial relationships. She ends up secretly becoming a teen mom, but through her relationship with her kids she slowly begins to understand what it feels like to ACTUALLY love someone. (and then PLOT happens from there but it's a pretty big spoiler, so...yeah.)

...So what does this have to do with BG3?

Well, uh, as I was looping this song over and over again in 2023 (starting before I even knew much about the anime the song is from), I started to pick up on lines that reminded me of Astarion having to fake attraction or affection for people to find prey for Cazador (and later on protection during the game events), and then stumbling into actually loving the person he's in a romance with.

And then I also was reminded of Wyll pretending to be this grand hero despite the much darker things going on privately in his life.

And next thing you know I have essentially an entire animatic to the song plotted out in my head of Astarion seducing Wyll, only to realize how much they're both performing a role and then realizing he has genuine feelings for Wyll.

The PROBLEM is that I've never learned how to draw, but I DO know how to write, so...! I started writing a fic on the idea, and titled it after a line from the song. The basic idea was brief scenes of Astarion and Wyll having to play a role in their previous lives, building up to their eventual meeting and slowly recognizing the people behind the masks they wear. Here's a couple snippets from the first scenes for Astarion and Wyll:

He [Astarion] takes a seat at the bar, leaning back onto an arm to try to emphasize graceful lines, his long legs crossed just so. He orders himself a drink–the cheapest he thinks he can get away with while still seeming like he has good taste–and looks back at the pub, his smile perfectly performed. When a tipsy woman is the first to take the bait, he pretends to not see her at first, and then lets his eyebrows raise and shapes his eyes to look pleasantly surprised. “Oh? And how did I catch the attention of such a beauty?”

[...]

He [Wyll] accepts every request to dance that comes his way and leads his partners along the floor with carefully practiced grace, his touch around their waist gentle and chaste but just enough to maybe endear them to him, if just for the night. By the time he’s dancing with a half-elf partner his feet are starting to hurt, but he disguises it with an easy smile at the end, placing a kiss on their hand that lights up the half-elf’s blue eyes. Well, at least he could make them happy, just for a moment.

so the problem is, uh...I got up to the classic Tiefling Party Scene and...I...don't know how to take it to a conclusion from there. So it's just been sitting here for months, oops. I haven't completely abandoned it but it's sitting on the backburner while I work on stuff I have a stronger idea about!

[zz-chikorita]

JR Update

*Professor Farnsworth voice*: Good news, everyone!

So, I've been doing some thinking (scary, right?) about how my JR series is formatted strangely since I never used AO3 before then. But, I also remembered that it actually worked well for my first few dedicated readers who happened to not have English as their first language (if yall are still out there, i love you and I appreciate you!), so the use of ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, Scots, eye dialect, and pidgin English were sometimes difficult to follow. Having annotations made is possible for them to enjoy my silly little story. I also remember asking my early readers what their stance on smut was and more or less, they told me that was not what they were interested in, hence me posting smut chapters/scenes as separate works.

I acknowledge that the audience following this story is much broader since then and I also admit that, now that I know how to use AO3, posting a fic with chapters is a lot less prep work than the way I've done JR TwT

Be that as it may! I have decided to compromise! I will continue to release 'chapters' the way I have, complete with annotations as to make it accessible to anybody out there who may need it.

But, in addition! I've created a new work in the Hoist the Colors Series that will be a single work made of chapters and, yes you guessed it, it will be a less cluttered, streamlined version of JR. The story is the same, but hopefully, the formatting will make it a cleaner, more immersive experience. And also smut scenes will be integrated into it(although yall already know that's not what the story is about, so don't expect it to just become porn with plot all of a sudden)

So yeah, basically new parts to JR will be released as they normally were AND in a work I've simply titled Jolly Rogers: Guardian of Alola (ya know, keeping with the theme of all the parts being named after pokemon moves ;)

It will start from the beginning, and I'll also use this as an excuse to read and edit each chapter, because I just fucking KNOW there's gonna be a typo somewhere despite the fact I've read ALL of my chapters each no less than 300 or so times 🙃 Anyways, so for my sanity, my goal is to post a chapter a week, starting from the very beginning. Of course, I will be actively working on the story and will definitely post it as normal should I finish it before the chapters catch up to that point.

Does that make sense??? Just lemme know if yall have any questions.

Thank you everyone for your patience and for sticking with this story that I have put so much care and love into 💜 it means the world to me!

Mahalo, my friends! 🤙🌺 See you soon!

TLDR: I'm re-releasing JR in a work/chapter format that some may find easier to read. The story is exactly the same, though.

[ey-there-little-guy]

Made up fake fic title?

OH HECK YEAH I'LL GIVE YOU A FEW!!!!!!!! <3

Take me deeper than I've ever known

Put me together with staples and string

Never Ever

A Race to one's demise

Twisted Fates

DO WITH THESE WHAT YOU WILL!! DON'T HAVE TO DO EM ALL JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT!!! :3

OH THANK YOU :D these are great, so I definitely tried to think of something for all of these <3

They all turned into g/t or somewhat g/t bullet-point plots haha. Still tried to do summaries since that's usual for these tho

-

Take me deeper than I've ever known

Ranboo doesn't know what happened to him, just that one day he was tall enough to do all the stuff humans do, then the next day so small that a mouse could probably fistfight him and win. The even crazier thing is that he meets someone just as small, who apparently has been the one taking snacks from his stash, and not a ghost. Great, one question solved and a thousand more left unanswered. At least while they're stuck like this they won't have to be alone, Tommy may be strange but he isn't all that bad, besides the fact he'd probably ditch Ranboo if they revealed they're human. But while it lasts, he doesn't mind seeing more of Tommy's world.

magic, tiny fairy or fae, hmm

Ranboo gets shrunk and found by a tiny Tommy who decides 'gosh you suck at survival, i'll help you'

Tommy acts like he doesn't know Ranboo was shrunk, but he does

like 'don't interact with bigs, but they're not big anymore so…'

Ranboo doesn't know this but learns interacting with humans is a no-no so keeps their shrinking a secret

Ranboo learns more than they thought about the world at a smaller size

and they do want to be normal height again, someday (…maybe), but his life with Tommy is something they start to cherish, and the tiny really loves having them around

the twist is that Tommy is a fae of sorts that shrunk Ranboo, bc they were interesting and alone and and it seemed like something fun to do, but then feelings and friendship happened

Ranboo will have to find out eventually..

fae shenanigans and morals

Put me together with staples and string

What do you do when your reason for existing is to comfort and make smiles bloom, but you're built of dead things brought back, nightmarish and far too tall? For Ranboo, the answer is to enjoy what he can. Tubbo certainly makes this strange second-first life worth being a monster, at least.

second idea version:

Tubbo might not be real, full of stuffing and magic, but Tommy wants a friend, a best friend, and maybe Tubbo wants that too. So if Tommy thinks he's real enough to be that friend, despite how much smaller he is and inability to go places with Tommy without acting like a normal doll, then Tubbo is happy. Tommy may have done some questionable magic because he was lonely and desperate, but Tubbo is amazing, so he doesn't regret it. If only others could see it the same way.

Angst angst angst?

ended up with two ideas oops:

Ranboo is a minigiant frankenstein's monster kinda creature (created by Tubbo because Dude Is So Alone He Reanimated A Corpse For Company)

OR Tubbo is a life-like doll brought to life to be a friend (clingyduo and magic)

whichever idea, they have existential issues and put their worth into how useful they can be

both want to be able to go out into the world but don't, because they know if they're seen they'd terrify or unsettle people

Ranboo idea: sad times, fluff times, and sneaky outings with Tubbo

maybe at some point Ranboo's thoughts that he's a monster get real bad and he's convinced he'll hurt Tubbo and runs away to some woods

so then Tubbo has to go find him and bring him back before other people find him and think he's some monster come to terrorize them

who knows maybe Ranboo will even make some friends in a surprising twist?

Tubbo idea: lots of 'im not real' thoughts but also sweet friendship times

possible interference from other people coming back into Tommy's life since the magic to make Tubbo may or may not have been illegal

insisting that Tubbo isn't a real friend and this isn't healthy

Tubbo would normally agree, but seeing how much it hurts and upsets Tommy he might have some Choice Words instead

do these stories have happy endings? I wanna say yes, things work out, issues are eventually addressed, and there is lots of holding small friend in arms throughout.

Never Ever

The lives of borrowers are far from easy, even if they have family, but that doesn't mean it's terrible or always dangerous. A skilled or very sheltered borrower especially has very few worries, to the point that the universal rules of borrowers can be disregarded. But there are times when borrowers are reminded of why these rules are important, so that the worst never, ever happens.

after much thought, a 5+1 story

like '5 things a borrower should never ever forget and 1 thing they do' or something along those lines

5 are angst or close calls, etc. and 1 is good times, fluff

maybe tiny bedrock bros?

or five borrowers, one chapter each, with a borrower problem or angst, and the +1 is something nice with them all together

could be sbi+tubbo in that case

kinda slice-of-life regardless

+1 could also be angst instead of fluff, like they get caught, leaving story with an open end lol

A Race to one's demise

Slaying a giant is no easy task, especially one as infamous as The Lady Death—giants are already enough trouble without magic, thanks. Yet a few people head out for her territory anyway, not from any real drive to kill giants, simply because it was the only option given that lets them live a little longer. Their odds still aren't good, but really how much worse could a giant be from what they came from? (... No, yeah, probably worse.) Kristin and Phil find some truly exhausted kids on their doorstep and decide to invite them in, which they surprisingly agree to. The hard part is getting them to stop the halfhearted murder attempts and open up.

they know they're going to die. will they actually? nah

a handful of people are chosen for what's seen as a suicide mission

(probably benchtrio + wilbur and techno for these guys)

the mission/quest is to steal a magic item from a giant

they all upset the leaders of wherever they're from in some way, so this is those guys' way of either getting them to redeem themselves or get rid of them

both options seem like death though, if not immediate then eventually

they also specified that only one of them can come back victorious, so they're all doing their best to reach the giant's territory before each other, using sabotage or whatever they can, maybe even a little attempted murder or two at the start

near the end of their journey though there is talk of teaming up, because really None of them are capable of taking down a giant alone

The Lady Death is what they call her, a giantess that lives on the edge of a wasteland, who scoops up travelers that come too close never to be seen again

there is a lesser known story about the giantess that some of them know, saying she is more benevolent than she seems, with an angel on her shoulder

if you prove yourself to the angel she will listen and grant you passage into the wastes where, supposedly, there is a lush sanctuary somewhere (Philza's builds inspired?)

none of them actually think this version of the tale holds more truth, but it does stick with them, the tiniest idea that maybe they have a third option that's not 'death now' or 'death later'

Lots of build-up? since i want it to be g/t but the main giant only appears later. more focus on the stories they know and what they imagine they'll find

also run-ins with 'smaller' giants on the way

Obviously Kristin and Philza just gain a bunch of tired, scared kids from this

the story after that likely has found family as a main focus whereas it was more like a subplot when benchtrio+twinsduo were traveling

Twisted Fates

Being a crown prince sounds great unless you're actually a crown prince; Techno would much rather live far away from people, never having to deal with their problems, only whatever challenges come his way. Wilbur longs for a life where providing for himself isn't a constant struggle with danger wherever he looks, a life where he can relax or even meet people. Just watching and swiping the occasional thing from the royalty in this castle isn't enough to fulfill this dream. Until Techno wakes up to the disorienting sight of the castle far larger than he recalls and Wilbur is suddenly big and visible and sees an opportunity for both of them. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time might've just fixed both of their problems, or given them entirely new ones.

for this one I've settled on swapped sizes and royal au

twinsduo. Techno is (reluctantly) a crown prince and Wilbur is (enthusiastically) a borrower in the castle

Wilbur happened to be sneaking around the same room Techno is in when some magic mishap happens, swapping their sizes

princess and the pauper situation where they realize they look very similar and think the other's life sounds amazing so they swap places

I like giving borrowers tails so Wilbur has to either pass his off as the magic accident or hide it, same with his hair or he dyes it

and Techno still has bright pink hair he's unwilling to part with so he stands out a bit too much sometimes

but they seem to be having fun? at least for now. no care for fixing the situation yet

Philza is the king who loves his son very much but starts suspecting this might not be his son

angst and misunderstandings and reveals, by the end of this Phil has two sons

And that's all of them! Thank you again, I had fun brainstorming these. Also if anyone else likes these ideas feel free to use them or whatever :]

[cryptophasiac]

tell me about dcd politics fic

it’s pretty much what it says on the tin haha :)) it’s an au where various bandom ppl (my chem is there so it’s not actually j dcd despite the title lol) are politicians, and generally pretty shitty ones.

it came out of a convo w some of my friends about how a lot of fans just kind of decided that their faves had perfect leftist politics despite much evidence to the contrary. i like to write about these ppl bc they’re interesting characters, and no interesting character is gonna have 100% Gen Z Internet Acceptable Leftist Politics. and certainly a bunch of middle men aren’t gonna. so i’m using that for comedic effect p much.

the main plot there follows illinois centrist nepo baby democratic senator pete wentz’s forbidden romance with his clumsy and useless intern patrick stump and all the scandals on capitol hill that come out of the relationship

joe is pete’s aide and always has to clean up his messes, while andy is pete’s friend from his phase as a young radical and is always trying (and failing) to push him left.

but yeah gerard is in the house of reps and gets away with making a lot of terrible policy decisions (like giving a ton of money to cops) bc they’re the first nonbinary representative in njs tenth district and the party can always tweet about that to obfuscate any scandals haha. frank is a crazy local kook type third party guy who runs against everyone in jersey (including respected centrist democrat gabe saporta who’s favorite hobbies are fucking his secretary william beckett and sending aid packages to isr*el) but eventually tries to knock gerard out of their seat. he fails but eventually ends up marrying his former rival.

[galactic-pirates]

Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

Thanks for the ask! :) :)

19) Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it. Part of me wants to skip this and substitute another question but I am working on some art for the Librarians exchange at the moment. That has to be secret but I don't think it's too much of a #Spoiler to do one line like

"Librarians win with what they know - not magic!"

36) How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

I'm quite fond of song titles to be honest. Not usually lyrics, or not formatted as such anyway.

Another place I have looked for titles are episode titles. Not for the show I am writing for usually, but from any show I have watched and liked. I used to keep a text file with a list of titles I had seen that I liked, and when titling a fic I checked that list first to see if anything fit.

Sometimes there is a line in the fic, or the prompt that inspired the story, that just demands a certain title.

As for the one I'm most proud of? Monstrare, Monere perhaps. A Warehouse 13 oneshot. The actual fic itself I am a bit meh about after all this time, but the title and summary I am like "I wrote that?" I also really like and the Sins of Atlantis. Totally self-indulgent ridiculous fic which I enjoy more than I should. It uses the same episode title structure as the Librarians show (I did that for all my prompt month fics that year, which I loved). I particularly like this one though as I feel like there's so many layers to it. Sins - so evocative, so many questions. Atlantis - how? why? I don't know. It was fun.

(Under the cut for the writing advice because despite making myself stick to just one point, I still went on a lot. Oops.)

28) Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? Ooooh boy ok. The answer is both lots, and nothing, because writing is very individual. I can advise based on what works for me but it's so much a YMMV situation. I always feel like any writing advice needs to be prefaced with this.

So I don't write an essay (and I probably will anyway) but I will stick with just one point so it's not thousands of words. It's actually something I read once and no it isn't the classic "I can fix a bad page not a blank page" (which is also good advice btw). It's actually a point I super hated for a long time and that is probably why I have forgotten where I read it, so I apologise for the lack of attribution. The quote was something like - "Write what you want to have written, not what you want to write." Now that's crazy talk right? Well yeah, and I hated it, but I see the wisdom in it now.

Now a personal anecdote to illustrate the point. Writing fanfic brought me joy. I loved the plots coming together, how I could sneak in references. I don't know if this is egotistical to admit but I still re-read my old fic sometimes - I was my own intended audience - and I love it. However, I have original novel ideas. I have a dream of publishing. It's a future that I would like to build. Possibly just a fantasy but it's a dream that I've held for decades and it scares the hell out of me. Writing novels is hard. It's facing the fear of never being good enough every day, and making myself do the work anyway. Writing fanfic is so much easier and (for me) it became a way to self-sabotage.

Now I owe fanfic a tremendous debt because it has broken through writers block, it has given me soooooo many ideas that I have mutated into something else entirely. Don't ever think I don't respect fanfic but I'm chronically ill and I only have a limited amount of spoons. I have written novel-length fanfic and pouring weeks/months into a fanfic, was weeks/months I wasn't spending on my original work and I hated myself for that. I was writing something that I really wanted to write but even in the middle of the process I was sometimes like "what am I doing???" and questioning my life choices. I love my fanfic ideas and I get so nostalgic sometimes for the ones on my list that I never got round to writing.

Fanfic was something I desperately wanted to write, but it was not what I wished to have written. It brought me short-term joy for long-term anguish if you like.

So my point - my writing advice - is essentially a riff off "life is short". Be damn sure before you invest so much of yourself creatively in a story (whatever that story might be), that you won't get hit by regret later. It's so easy with fandom events: exchanges, bingos, prompt months etc. to get bursts of inspiration and giddy FOMO, only to get months down the road and wish you hadn't happened that earlier WIP.

We all have a story to tell right? So don't write what you think will get you kudos/comments. Write what is in your heart to write. Not some surface level impulse, but what you will be proud to have committed to a year down the road.

I can't bring myself to regret any of my fanfics. Hell as I said I enjoy reading them. But I had to stop so my energy could be focused in a direction that brought my longer-term peace, rather than short-term joy.

Fandom can be a fickle place, and also playing in someone else's sandbox can turn to ash. When a show has gone in a direction I can't follow, or when there's drama in the fandom, it has stolen my joy. I suppose what I'm really get is with writing, it's a creative journey, it's pouring so much of your soul into something. Protect your mental health. Invest yourself wisely.

Write with joy.