#Yeah... that's pretty much how spriting this went XD

[stardestroyer81]

@shrimpuufriend told me that Capcom had recently released never-before seen concept art of the original Rockman (Which you can find here!), and it is the coolest thing EVER.

That said, I wanted to be the first person to make something based off of the newly surfaced concept art, so I took one featured sketch of Rockman and turned it into its own sprite piece, complete with a faux beta title screen I craftily edited into the manual! 💙✨

[megan-loves-surveys]

This has been a busy week.

What is something you want but can’t afford to buy? Travel. It's far too pricey to fly at the moment.

What is something you want but aren’t sure if you should splurge on it? Dunno.

Do you prefer ham or turkey with your stuffing and mashed potatoes? I've never had turkey, so ham.

Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free? Wheat, I barely ever eat white bread.

What type of church do you like the most, if any? None.

Was anyone rude to you today? Not so far.

Which lost friend do you most wish you could be friends with again? Zoe, but she passed away so it'll never happen :(

Have you ever had a friend turn against you? Yes.

What is your town known for? Being the biggest city in NZ, boats etc.

Do you live in the town you grew up in? Yes, but not the same suburb anymore.

What was that good year that you had? 2016 was amazing - I did so much that year. I went to the USA twice for Wrestlemania and Summerslam, I went to a couple of concerts, I saw WWE in NZ, I moved house etc.

Did you make a memory jar for this year? If so, is it full? I don't know what that is.

Do you want to make a memory jar for next year? No.

Are you optimistic? Yes.

Do you think people ask too nosy questions? (in real life) Sometimes.

Do you think you would be happier if you had more money? Definitely. They say money doesn't buy happiness, but that ain't true.

Who’s youtube channel would you like to guest star on? None.

What was the last thing you purchased off of Etsy? Nothing.

What is something currently on your wishlist from Etsy? -

Is there a Target near you? No.

Which is closest to you: Target, Walmart, Kmart, or Meijer? We only have Kmart, lol.

Where did your Christmas tree come from? We have a fake one... I think it's from The Warehouse xD

Would you rather be an elf or a reindeer? Why? Elf lol.

Who do you go to when you’re lonely? Or what do you do when you’re lonely? Hmm.

Are you alone? No.

Are you ok? Yes.

What color is your favorite sweater? Black.

Name 10 things that are on your Christmas list this year. It's March, it's too early xD

Silver or gold? Silver.

What do you dislike about the house you live in? The neighbours can be annoying.

Do you prefer iced tea or hot tea? Neither, I don't like tea at all.

Is there a gas station near your house? When was the last time you went? Yes, there's one like 2 mins walk away. I last went there a few weeks ago to grab some Sprite for mixers.

How do you feel right now? What do you think has contributed to that? I'm really good. I'm just chilling today after a really busy week.

Do you watch a movie at least once a week? No.

What’s your favourite movie genre? Action or comedy.

Have you ever been clubbing? Did you have fun? Oh yeah! I used to go loads back in the day when I was 20, 21, 22. It was always fun.

What were you doing in the year 2013? That was the year I started traveling more - I went to the USA for the first time that April for Wrestlemania, then I went again in August cos I won a trip to Summerslam.

What’s the weather been like lately? This week has been a bit random - it's been warm, it's been a bit cold, it's been cloudy and dull, it's rained, it's been windy, it's been sunny.

Do you check the weather forecast regularly? Yep, my city is so changeable you gotta keep on top of it.

Do you live in a city of at least one million people? Yep, Auckland has about 1.5 million people.

What’s your favourite colour? Purple.

Do you own any clothes in your favourite colour? Loads!

Would you say faucet or tap? Tap.

Do you watch any sports? Wrestling if it counts. Otherwise I only watch when the Olympics or Commonwealth Games are on - then I'll pretty much watch anything haha.

Have you ever eaten carob? No clue what that is, so I doubt it.

Are there any plants around your house, inside or outside? There's a bunch downstairs.

Which bugs do you truly hate the most? All of them, lol.

What’s your favourite kind of puzzle? I like crosswords and the like.

If you were going on a daytime date tomorrow, where would you go? We'd do something fun like mini golf or ten pin bowling.

Where are you right at this moment? At my desk in my room.

Describe the room or place you’re in. It's my room, it's packed with stuff and has posters of The Shield guys all over the walls.

Is your nose blocked right now? No.

Do you live on a main road? Kind of - the front of our house faces the main road, but our address is actually on a road off it.

Have you ever volunteered? Yes.

What colours are you wearing today? Purple.

How old were you when you graduated high school? 18.

Describe your favourite pair of socks. I don't have a fave haha.

What holidays do you celebrate? Christmas, Easter and that's about it.

If you could dye your hair any colour for one month, what would you do? My hair is already purple and blue, so I guess I'd go green to see if I'd suit it.

Art or science? Science. I'm more creative, but Art is not my thing, I'm more into writing and that.

Do you own a pair of sunglasses? How often do you wear them? Yep, they're prescription ones and I wear them every single time I go outside no matter what. Even if it's raining xD

What’s your go-to order at McDonald’s? Chicken nuggets, fries, drink and either an apple pie or a McFlurry.

Do you know anyone who was born in the Caribbean? I probably do.

What brand is your fridge? Um...

Speaking of fridges, what drinks do you have in there right now? Water, energy drinks (my Mum's, I don't drink them lol) and I think there's cider too.

Are there any special rules about selling alcohol & tobacco in your country? You just need to be 18 to buy them.

Do you live in the northern or southern hemisphere? Southern.

What’s your dream car? No clue.

Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them? Yes, I've known her for 22 years, we met in 2002.

How often do you take selfies? Oh, all the time.

Are you hungry at the moment? What are you craving? I just ate, so not at the moment.

What do you think your life will look like in 3 years from now? I have no idea tbh.

When was the last time you received a card? What was it for? Hmm, not sure.

Do you like yes or no questions, or questions that make you think? Both, but yes/no gets boring after awhile.

What states have you been to in the past year? None, I haven't been to the USA since 2019.

Have you ever sleepwalked? No.

What year was your house built? It's new, it was built in the 2010's.

Do you feel like you have more in common with men or with women? Both about equally.

What’s your favorite superhero movie? I don't like them.

Do you want children? Why/why not? No thank you. I like to spend my money on myself and do what I want when I want xD Plus my boyfriend is my perfect match cos he has grown up kids and doesn't want any more.

Do you have any credit card debt? No.

Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm? Not super late, but I had to get ready in like 5 minutes lmao.

Are you good at reading people? Depends.

Who do you go to for relationship advice? Depends.

What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Playing with my friends who lived down our street - we rode our bikes together.

What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off? I only work part time, I never work more than 2 days in a row lol.

Have you ever been scammed? No.

Do you know anyone who works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley? No.

Do you wear eyeliner? No.

Did you ever take a personal finance class in school? No.

Where were you the last time you kissed someone? My house, cos my boyfriend was going home lol.

How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well?? I'm fine.

Do you struggle with acne? I get the occasional spot, but that's it.

Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days? No.

Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? Late 90's at some point.

Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? Depends what you consider 'unusual'.

What’s something that would make you incredibly happy right now? Traveling.

What did you do for your 18th birthday? I had a sleepover with my BFFs.

What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter? We don't have one.

Have you ever been to the Caribbean? No.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Toast, 3 pieces.

What’s your favorite form of exercise? Treadmill.

Have you ever drank so much that you passed out? No.

[antarestyl]

Some Deltarune Chapter 2 Shipping stuff

Just my rambling about some relationships (because I adore all relationships)

Okay firstly? I adore Ralsei. His and Kris’s interactions are honestly cute? The acid boat-ride (of love) was just super cute? Also I totally hugged that boy at every opportunity. I just love that little fluff ball he makes me smile

Susie and Ralsei interactions are honestly cute too? THEY WENT TO A CARNIVAL DATE? Also I am so happy they get along well now? Every little scene with them goofing off (and Susie actually stopping when it gets to much) is just super heart-warming to me. Also Susie seemed honestly happy to see Ralsei when we entered the Dark World? Just... its just cute okay?

Susie and Kris also seem to work so well together now? Susie really changed between the first chapter and now (also her sprite shows more of her eyes now). Also she was so happy about having a sleepover and being all “YES KRIS WE DOING THIS!” about it (and fell asleep like 2 seconds in so cute XD)

Speaking of Susie, her and Noelle? OMG they were so cute? Like this awkward-teenage-crush type of cute? (also Susie has a tail? YES! I KNEW it! XD) Also anybody choose CRIME and saw how Noelle gave Susie Chalk? THAT GIRL KNOWS! I really did adore their little romance and I did laugh out loud when Bradley confessed he had a crush on Susie and Noelle just mcfreaking losing it on him? XDDD golden.

Susie and Lancer still got a great chemistry, its kinda a shame we couldn’t see them interact much (but I was like “OH NO HURRY” when Lancer turned to stone) also it was so cute that Lancer wanted to go with us when we had to do homework? Still all cute.

Kris and Lancers Interactions were pretty adorable too, even if it was mostly Lancer interacting with our inentory. XD

RALSEI NOW HAS A LITTLE TOWN FULL OF PEOPLE HE WONT BE ALONE ANYMORE WHOO!

Noelle was pretty cute overall. Also it seems she and Kris used to be friends? Like more than just “our dads are friends and I was the human under your bed” kinda thing?

Asgore... uff, his and Toriel’s relationship really is in shambles. I like the dude but that conversation with Sans was yeeeeesh. Also bless Sans for still being all friendly and apparently offering free pickles to Asgore? Still, awkward much.

Sans and Toriel’s relationship is still really cute? They just work well together. It made me smile.

Toriel and Alphys were super funny XD Like Alphys “YEAH SURE KRIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL EVERYTHING IS FINE! :D” was just hilarious XD

Alphys and Undyne? HECK YES THEY DO LIKE EACH OTHER WHOOOO!

Still wonder about some others but those are the ones I can think of on top of my head XD I ship everything and nothing and nobody can stop me! :DDDD

[idiotwhowritesshipstuff]

can u do Kokichi and Shuichi (Separately) who have a crush with reader who is an Ultimate Scammer 👉👈??? thank u and sorry for the bad english,,,

Your English is fine don’t worry! Oof this is certainly interesting also sorry I can’t really write just crushes well so I put like their first impression, getting to know beginning to date

Also these headcannons got VERY ambitious so... oops I just really liked the idea and even imagined a bit of a Fanganronpa character on the Ultimate Scammer so yeah

- Mod Monaca

Shuichi Saihara x Ultimate Scammer! Reader

• To be honest he probably already heard of s/o from clients who wanted him to look into s/o’s work so they could get their money back or get them away from their social security stuff because it’s been really difficult for them with what s/o did

• Very alarmed at meeting them because all the leads he was given (took a lot their a professional) lead to s/o but it was accounts with no solid proof due to once again their ultimate level they know their shit

• It was actually a pretty normal interaction to Shuichi’s surprise but it was only after s/o left that he realized that was probably their strategy in scamming people since he managed to get so comfortable around them and decided to be more cautious around them

• Kaede encouraged them to interact more and he did so because of that and also as a way to learn more of s/o’s tactics cause he had to admit he was pretty curious how they did their job so well

• Getting to know s/o was what lead him to develop feelings for them which he had to admit he was pretty worried about

• He knew if s/o kept doing their work he would eventually have to work on a case for them if more and more people fell victim to them and he was dreading the idea of arresting them

• Eventually he decided to just confront s/o about this and they revealed that they went to Hope’s peak academy because Hope’s peak actually caught them and said it was either go to jail or become a student in Hope’s peak

(Up to your interpretation why Hope’s peak did that. Was it to cultivate talent or.... other ideas?)

• This cleared some tension between them and he actually got closer with them after that was revealed because Shuichi was actually curious about what they planned to do onward from that

• They didn’t even realized they had begun to spend so much time together until Kaito suddenly asked if they were dating when he saw them together somewhere private until s/o popped the question and Shuichi agreed

• Maybe he wasn’t the most proud of his s/o’s talent but maybe it could still work especially since s/o planned to quit being a scammer while it’s more for their own sake it’s a start

• It’s a start

Kokichi Ouma x Ultimate Scammer! Reader

• He claimed to have already known s/o through his informants from his organization but he was actually personally pretty interested in s/o

• Scammers lie and manipulate people into giving personal information in order to extort them and more so he was pretty curious what kind of person could manipulate people enough to be considered an Ultimate at that

• Was spewing a lot of lies at s/o who had managed to see through it but didn’t say anything with how they analyzed his character

(They have to be able to analyze people’s characters since they have to know how far they can go as a scammer)

• He decides talking to s/o could prove fun and kept approaching under the excuse of “he needs someone like s/o for his evil organization”

• This time spent together lead to his feelings which definitely proved challenging to him

• His approach on his feelings is just consistently teasing s/o until they maybe catch the hint as at one point he blatantly says he has feelings for s/o only to claim that’s a lie

• Of course s/o did manage to see through this and when he claimed that’s a lie just goes “well that’s a shame since a little gremlin seems to have stolen my heart”

• He was extremely happy and jumped to hug s/o and if they’re taller than him (which they most likely are his sprites are small) just goes for a piggyback ride on them

• When dating, he tends to use the fact he’s dating the Ultimate Scammer as a ‘threat’ but s/o knows he’s just kidding around. (Though they will do it if they hurt him)

This idea just really inspired me XD I went a bit crazy

[littlepurinsesu]

V Watches MagiReco - Episode 11 Review

*Spoilers for Magia Record Anime Episode 11*

This week we’re back to another slower exposition episode, but I’m also back to being more positive with this week’s review, because I did genuinely enjoy this one!

From Tsukuyo to Mifuyu to Team Mikazuki, this episode was a pretty decent setup for the mini climax of the first arc of the Main Story, and I’m very happy that most of it was done so nicely!

I really like that this episode gave us some scenes with Tsukuyo! The scenes of her at her club aren’t very important to the overall plot, but it’s nice to get a glimpse of the daily life of a member of the Wings of Magius. It’s a neat way to emphasise that these really are just ordinary schoolgirls, just like our main cast of “good guys”. Tsukuyo even managed to come across as cute and funny during her great plan to escape Iroha xD

Speaking of Iroha, I really liked how proactive she is during this part. She’s smart enough to recall tiny clues, put together what little pieces of the puzzle she has right now, and do what she can to find out more to help her on her quest. It’s actually a pretty bold move to ambush and confront your enemy all alone, so I really admire her courage in doing so all by herself :) She also used a very smart and “gentle” approach in trying to get Tsukuyo to help her out by appealing to her love for her sister. Again, I can’t remember if this was in the game or if it’s an anime-original thing, but either way, kudos to the writers for this very small but meaningful moment between Iroha and Tsukuyo. It’s a real “humanising” moment for Tsukuyo, and also shows that she and our protagonist do actually have more in common than they think.

There was also more casual bonding times between the members of Team Mikazuki again this week, but this time we know that the little coaster subplot actually has a deeper meaning and significance to the overall story, so it’s all actually pretty important stuff that will come back later ;) But while I’m glad they didn’t drag out the coaster shopping scene too much (like the mug scene last week), that Witch battle did feel quite pointless xD

I don’t know why so many of the battles in the MagiReco anime feel so short and insignificant (I’ve ranted a bit about this in the past). I guess they just really wanna emphasise the huge number of Witches in Kamihama and how frequent and easy it is to come across one? But having Gertrud be the one to appear this week is not only a nice nod to the original anime, but also an important reminder that this really is a different timeline where Witches from all over the place are gathering in Kamihama. It’s a smart approach to satisfying some fans’ nostalgia in a way that also makes sense to the current story. I also appreciate that while it’s clearly the same Witch, the labyrinth is animated slightly differently. We know that Witches can look different depending on the timeline, and it also allows us to see different parts of Gertrud’s labyrinth that we weren’t shown when Mami fought her in the original anime, so I’m really glad that we didn’t just get a rehash/copy-paste of the same Gertrud in PMMM :) But yeah, I’m still disappointed that they didn’t even bother to animate the whole Witch battle xD It was such a wasted opportunity to see more of Team Mikazuki fighting together as a team (despite Yachiyo not being there), and I think that would have made all the upcoming angst hit even harder when we see what happens to the team later on. I get that they were probably short on time and this battle wasn’t really even needed, but I just feel like... you know, since you decided to do it, then do it properly, if you get what I mean? xD

Mifuyu’s visit was definitely what I was looking forward to the most! I think this scene was done perfectly; the ease with which she treated the place as her own home, the way her arrival disrupted the warm and easy-going mood we saw moments before, the awkward tension between her and Iroha, the heavy symbolism placed on all the mugs, the discomfort between her and Yachiyo, the dark hints about Yachiyo’s past etc. Everything was done exactly as I pictured when I imagined this scene being animated, and I don’t think there was anything I didn’t like about it ^^ The scene with Yachiyo in her room later was also done splendidly. It’s dark and foreboding, and I loved the glimpse we got of her Doppel and inner turmoil. I’m also relieved that we’re finally getting to Yachiyo’s backstory. It’s such a crucial aspect of both her characterisation and the plot, and we’re almost completely done with the first season/cour with no information on Yachiyo’s past. Maybe after her story is revealed properly, people will finally stop calling her a Homura clone lmao (because god does that piss me off lol).

I also really enjoyed the way they went about Team Mikazuki’s journey to the museum, with the rain and extra scenery we saw adding some more small bits of world-building that we couldn’t quite get with the sprites and generic/repetitive backgrounds in the game :) The museum itself is animated marvelously, and this time it actually looks more like a Rumour than in the game, where it just seemed like a normal abandoned building. I also absolutely love Touka’s pose at the end (hence the chosen screenshot for this week’s review hehe).

Not sure how much focus and screentime they’re going to give Momoko’s team, but I guess it’s about time that they addressed the Kaede issue, since it’s been left up in the air ever since that Doppel scene a while back. I’m guessing it’ll have some minor moments scattered in with Team Mikazuki’s lecture with Touka, just like in the game, since the characters are all essentially finding out the same thing. I am, however, quite curious about how they’re going to address Momoko’s past relationship with Yachiyo, since the anime has seemingly ignored, cut, or significantly downplayed the obvious tension between these two.

The reveal about Soul Gems and Witches next week definitely isn’t going to be as shocking to viewers as it will be for the characters, since most of us are at least familiar with the PMMM world, so I’m really counting on Yachiyo’s backstory to be the main driving force in the next episode. We’ve waited for an entire season for these secrets to be revealed, and I’m really excited for anime!Yachiyo to finally be given the depth and complexity of her game counterpart! I am also so ready to finally see Kanae and Meru animated properly!!!

Next week’s episode is going to be one hell of a rollercoaster ride (if they do it well, of course lol), so I’m super excited already! We just completed Team Mikazuki and we’re already heading to their ��disbandment”, so plenty of emotions coming up ;___; Since the anime has done such a good job at portraying the warm, budding family relationship between them thus far, hopefully the plot point will have the right amount of emotional impact and really leave a lasting impression! ^^

[amynchan]

1, 13, 15, 18, 23, 26, 29, 40, 43, 45, 51, 54, 60, 66, 77, 90, 94, 95, 96

That’s...a lot of questions.  o.o

Welp, better get started!

1 Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

I actually don’t have closet doors, so open by default.  XD

13   Do You Sing In The Shower?

Unashamedly.  XD  It’s a concert for one!

15   Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

A subordinating conjunction can be used to subor-

...y’all can guess what that book is about.  X’D

18   Do You Collect Anything?

I used to collect rocks!  Gave that away, though.  For now, I think my biggest collection is probably yarn.  XD  Not because I went out of my way to collect it or anything, but because I bought a lot for projects and ended up not using it all.  ^^;

Oh wait!  If there’s something I do actually collect, it’s music boxes.  I only have two of them, which is why I didn’t think of it, but I have two tiny music boxes and I can’t wait to get more!  *^_^*  They’re so cute and sweet!

23   What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Been going to bed around 10 lately, but I might start turning in sooner.  I gotta wake up pretty early nowadays, so it’s a process.  XD  But 10.  For now.

26   Favourite Tumblr Blog?

@one-time-i-dreamt is pretty fun, but I almost always love seeing what’s up on @petty-revenge-stories and @scary-stories!  *^_^*  Of the three, @scary-stories​ is probably my favorite, though.

29   Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

There are honestly just days you wanna twirl around for a lil’ bit.  *^_^*

40    Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I would say I count BNHA as one.  XD  And Fruits Basket’s reboot.  I’m definitely enjoying those right now!  *^_^*  And have made fanart for them.  XD

43   Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yeah, and they get a bit odd.  Like, one time I dreamt that I was on some sort of alien planet and there were cat people and they kidnapped me, but I was in the middle of convincing them to let me go when I woke up.  It was weird.

45   Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Ooof, I know there was a recent thing--oh, that was a comic, never mind.  Well, I know that I absolutely cried when the sixth Harry Potter movie came out.  It’s not even when Dumbledore dies, it’s when everyone’s raising their wands!  It just!!  Makes me cry!!  QAQ

51   Do You Like To Read / Write?

Do I--yes.  XD Absolutely.  I enjoy writing in a poetic fashion, and reading is pretty fun most of the time.  *^_^*  Though right now I have to read a book called Broad Band before the next semester starts and I’ve been having a hard time getting myself to read.  ._.

54   Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Um, my “shuffle” is my YouTube nowadays, so Imma do that.  XD

Aaaand the title is Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom of the Opera!  XDD

._.

60   Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

As a matter of fact, I do.  The next assignment for the summer course I’m taking is to...  *checks*  Develop a 30-45 minute lesson plan that will teach one element of the writing process.

Ain’t it fun to be a master’s student?  X’D  rip me

66   Do You Get Homesick?

For the first few days, I definitely don’t.  I’m too excited about my new environment and I’ve got too much to go out and do and experience to waste my time being sad.  But after a while, absolutely.  I mean, I live currently with 5 other people and I’m used to my little sisters eating food I make if I make too much or my parents wandering around and poking their heads in every now and again to make me socialize.  As annoying as my family is, I do absolutely miss them if I’m gone long enough.

77   What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Welp, I’m gonna get some boos.  XDD  But all I have Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery and Merge Dragons.  XD

Okay, I have a reason, though.  I’ve worked too hard on HPHM to let it go and Merge Dragons is sorta left over from when my phone screen actually worked well enough to not accidentally collect stuff when I try to drag it.  And I just don’t get new games because... well, my phone screen is a bit of a butt.  XD

90   Favourite Soda Drink?

I always get a sierra mist, sprite, or orange drink.  I literally cannot stand darker drinks.  They’re too sugary and too syrupy and they just make me go bleh...

94   Name Something That Relaxes You.

Music!  It’s cliched, but you can get a tune for any mood you’re in and then ease yourself into the mood you want to be in.  If you’re too hyper, you can use music to dance yourself out of it.  If you’re too sad, you can empathize with some sad tunes until you find a middle ground that gets you up and going again.  If you’re stressed, you can scream to some ‘why doesn’t the world just get it?’ music until you’re feeling like you can tackle the world again.

Music:  my one-stop-shop for figuring out how to chill out again.  XD  There’s also just something nice about being able to listen to something that just inherently puts you in a better mood.  *^_^*

95   What Tattoo Do You Want?

Well, I’m kind of a scardy-cat, so I wouldn’t get one.  XD  Please keep needles away from me, thank-you!  But if I could have a temporary tattoo...  I’m not sure.  I’d think I’d have the name “Josephine” somewhere on me or some kind of bird.  It’s hard to say since I don’t typically think of it very often. XD

My aunt has a wonderful leg sleeve tattoo, though.  Took her aaages to get.  o.o

96   Favourite YouTuber?

Right now, I’d say it’s Binging with Babish.  He’s just got such a fun and dry way of explaining how to cook that I very much enjoy it.  XD  

Right up there is also Rebecca Parham of Let Me Explain Studios.  Her animations are just so cute and her stories are hilarious and I love her way of talking.  XD  She’s just fun~!  *^_^*

Well, that was a lot of questions in one go!  XD  A lot, but definitely fun!  *^_^*

Well, if you wanna reblog the list or wanna see what else you can ask me, here ya go!  *^_^*

[stellar-chrondrite]

How about all the starter pokemon for the meme thing? And congrats on catching your shiny Bulbasaur :)

Pokémon Ask Meme

Thanks for the ask anon! I’ll leave out the Gen 8 starters due to spoilers for those who don’t want to know anything about Sword and Shield - otherwise, here we go!

(All are my own opinions; I’m not enforcing them over anyone else’s opinions. You are free to think what you think.)

Bulbasaurnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveIf I’d started playing Pokémon in Gen 1, Bulbasaur totally would have been my starter. Love this thing (and having its Shiny in Let’s Go Eevee now helps a LOT).Also running inside joke between me and bf about Bulbasaur running the mafia and controlling Kanto made me love this ‘saur so much more.

Charmandernot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveThe fire lizard is cute. Feels kinda odd that the ‘original Dragon-like mon’ isn’t ranked higher … but that’s just how I feel about it.Oh, it’s also Bulbasaur’s right-hand man in the mafia after a brutal struggle to stop it taking over Kanto.

Squirtlenot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveAlso cute. Plus it gets cannons when it grows up. It’s a trainee in the Kanto Army. Probably the weapons master in the Bulba Mafia. (I need to explain this whole mess sometime!)

Chikoritanot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveI used to think it was cute. Now … yeah sure it’s still cute, but it’s not really one of my favs anymore.

Cyndaquilnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveStarter I picked in SoulSilver and so adorable. Also like the Shiny ... but where the heck are some awesome blue flames for it?! PFQ has an Albino Cyndaquil with brilliant blue flames!

Totodilenot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveStarter I picked for Virtual Crystal. Oh Brionac … I LOVE Totodile’s Gen 2 sprite. And it’s super awesome. (Wish I could get an Ice-Type move before Falkner though XD …)

Treeckonot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate fave… not much to say here. Nostalgia mostly to blame. First Pokémon I ever had (female too!!!) and I ADORE all reptiles - nobody can stop me from loving Treecko. One of my all-time favourite Pokémon.It kinda doesn’t help that Dan Green voiced Ash’s Treecko - you know, the same amazing guy who voiced Yugi and Yami in Yu-Gi-Oh if ya didn’t know? 

Torchicnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveI know my bf and a lot of people will disagree with me here. I did use a Torchic for an Alpha Sapphire play-through … but she really disappointed me. She couldn’t even take down Steven’s Mega Metagross, instead fainting and leaving my ALTARIA to do the job. Yep, you heard me right. Altaria. That useless, rubbish Dragon-Type.  

Mudkipnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveIn-game, Mudkip is kinda forgettable to me. What really pushes it to cute is the fan-art. When other people draw it, it’s too adorable!

Turtwignot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveEh, forgettable to me. Haven’t used one. I do like Ash’s Turtwig and the character development it got as it evolved, having to deal with its loss of speed and learning new tactics to capitalise on its new strengths.

Chimcharnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveSuper Saiyan monkey. Starter in Diamond and Platinum. Blaze was awesome; fast and hard-hitting. Fire monkeys are awesome.

Piplupnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveUsed one in Pearl and he’s a good defensive wall (that’s Gauge for ya). Penguin love runs in the family. Not a big fan of Dawn’s Piplup though - he can be a bit too prideful at times XD.

Snivynot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveDefinitely prefer Snivy over the other two Unova starters. Smug snake rules. Plus Grass and another reptile? Sign me up. I used Snivy for both Black and Black 2 - both are called Sniver (unoriginal I know ^_^; ).

Tepignot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveDon’t really like Tepig a whole bunch. The only time I used one was during a ‘Red Dwarf’ play-through of Black.

Oshawottnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveAgain, not a big fan of Oshawott. Getting shell scimitars is pretty cool though. Wait … does that mean Oshawott could eventually fit in with Agrabah’s palace guards in Aladdin?! 

Chespinnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveYou’d think a person who loves hedgehogs - such as myself - would love Chespin. Well, it’s cute, I’ll give it that. Not too crazy on Clemont’s one. Otherwise, I’m average on Chespin.

Fennekinnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveI’ll admit, when Gen 6 was announced I was Team Fennekin. But then Froakie got Frogadier and I was torn. I eventually went with Froakie when X and Y came out - and I’m glad I did. I still think Fennekin is average in design; besides we already have our cute fire fox in Vulpix.

Froakienot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveMy starter for Y. Froakie itself is cute and I like its little bubble cape. When it evolves is when things get serious ‘cause I happen to side with ninjas in the age-old struggle ‘pirates VS ninjas’. I wish Froakie would smile in-game more though.

Rowletnot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveStarter for Moon. Team Rowlet was the team I wanted to be on when the first stage evos were revealed. However Rowlet hasn’t really grown on me much over the years. The leaf bow tie is dapper and all but it’s not really that interesting. Decidueye, however, is for another time.

Littennot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate faveI’m quite surprised a lot of people abandoned Litten for Rowlet as time marched on. I’ve also used one in Ultra Moon (Vision is pretty cool) and am using another in my all-female Sun team. Goth cat is cool and I really like the Shiny … but again it doesn’t really appeal to me.

Popplionot my favorite │ average │ cute │ adorable │ best │ ultimate favePopplio is the starter I didn’t use first-time round - but boy is it the best. I was torn between Rowlet and Popplio when they were revealed and I’m sad I didn’t use Popplio first-time round. I have used one though - my awesome boy Neil in the first play-through of Sun. Seriously, I love Popplio a lot and it needs more love.

[i0990]

Koroshiya to Strawberry Review

I bought Koroshiya to Strawberry (Killer and Strawberry) because I enjoyed Kamiaso and the character designs are by Kazuki Yone. The killer and underworld setting also looked promising.

Should take this chance to point out, Kazuki Yone only did the character designs, and stuff like cover art and promo images etc. The actual CGs are not done by her. It was already mentioned before the game came out.

In any case, the problem with this game is not with the art at all, but with the writing. I don’t know how they managed to mess it up so bad but they did. It’s not like the game has no plus points. The character interactions are fun, the bgm is good, and the art is actually still quite nice for the most part.

I think it has to do with the expectation from it being a mafia game. I was expecting something more gritty and action packed, and what I played instead was more of a cafe game with lots of talk about food and only a bit of action. It all adds up to a fairly disappointing experience tbh. I’m actually quite annoyed I gave up Piofiore to play this.

For the first time ever in a review I’m just going to outright say I do not recommend this game. More details below but of course there will be spoilers. To sum up the game: too much time wasted, not enough drama.

There is a lot of complaining and ranting in this review.

*spoilers after the cut*

Plot: Outright the weakest part of this game. There is a common route at first, after which you’ll be asked to choose which guy’s route you want to play. Noin is locked until you complete the other guys. So a game with only 6 routes, all of which are fairly short, and yet, they all share the same generic route. Once you pick a route the key story progression is pretty much:

Incident A => Outing => Present => Incident B => Conflict => Ending

Maybe they wanted to be consistent in their story writing but it ends up being really dull. I don’t want to plan the same assassination over and over again 6 times. Kamiaso InFinite had the same problem where the routes share the same generic pattern (let’s just do everyone’s birthdays yeah), but that’s a fandisc. This kind of copy pasta is just annoying in a main game, especially when it’s not a long game. On hindsight, it makes me glad it’s not a long game. Hasegawa and Noin are the only routes that felt less repetitive, although they still follow the same progression.

The game starts with Ichigo being delivered to Tsukikage, where she’s told she’ll be under their protection. He gives her a smartphone to type on because she can’t speak. Ichigo wonders if this is part of further experiments on her and we see her feeling uneasy whenever someone is nice to her because it all seems like a dream that can be easily destroyed. She’s obviously broken in some way and the guys are killers. So the start of the game was actually quite promising, then as I played it all just fell apart.

The pacing is terrible. Most of the game is just fluff, then suddenly all the conflict is squeezed into the end and feels really rushed. Any tension that occurs in the middle of the route is usually non plot relevant. Like Izuna’s traffic accident, or the locked door in Amon’s route. There’s too much talk about food and coffee. They do discuss assassin stuff like guns and gear etc, but these are not things that are particularly interesting just being talked about. Basically there’s too much time wasted with close to zero plot progression. It’s a game where the guys are hire killers. Where’s the drama? Where’s the angst? >:(

There’s fighting but it’s not well written. For instance in Tsukimi’s sniping scene, the screen blacks out when he takes the shot, after that it’s already them at the bottom of the building. Matsuri then shows up to say she’s taking Ichigo because she thinks Ichigo won’t be happy with Tsukimi, then relents when Ichigo insists she’s happy with Tsukimi. Like ????? The conflict just seems really pointless. After playing the other routes it makes some of the characters’ previous actions more understandable, but if they want to hint at a deeper connection between two chars they shouldn’t do it in a way that ruins the route.

Ichigo does not get her voice or name back in all routes except one. This is a bit of a downer tbh. The romance isn’t very well written, and Ichigo gets attached to the guy very quickly after they are nice to her. It was nice seeing Ichigo get more expressive over the course of the story. Noin’s route, being the final one, is the most informative and has more closure, although the reveal that he’s the boss of Tsukikage wasn’t very surprising. It explain’s Ichigo’s origins. After playing through everything, some of the stuff that previously made no sense is sort of explained, but overall I still don’t like the writing.

Characters: The saving grace that made this game enjoyable. I had the most fun with the character interactions. The guys, despite being killers, have rather colourful personalities. Tsukimi likes making sweets and is terrible at reading the mood. Izuna is like the only sane man in the shop raging at the others, and likes making food with gourmet ingredients. Kurama is a doctor who charges exorbitant prices and isn’t good with socializing. Amon is super exuberant. Noin is a cranky shota and a bit of a tsundere. Hasegawa seems stoic but is actually really sweet. It was funny seeing them make jokes at each other or scolding each other.

The side characters aren’t too bad, but there aren’t many of them. Matsuri is a cool big sis character who looks out for Ichigo in her way. Shirakawa was funny in Hasegawa’s route. Rakia doesn’t show up much.

Ichigo, despite having a blank personality and no voice, was surprisingly likeable. She starts out as this doll-like girl and slowly regains her emotions and starts doing things out of her own initiative more. Some of her responses are also funny, like the time Shirakawa was like ‘Let’s be friends :)’ but Ichigo just went ‘Sorry that will be difficult. Age gap too big.’ Of course her personality is still pretty blank for the most part but for a girl who’s been a lab rat and hasn't been outside for over a year what would you expect. Ichigo is cute XD

System/Interface: This game loses lots of points for having a main feature that as of now, two weeks after release, still doesn’t work -- the broken music player. Broccoli must know about the bug by now, so I can only assume they aren’t fixing it either because they don’t know how to or they can’t be bothered. Or maybe they think if they leave it as it is it’ll force players to buy the ost.

Aside from that the loading time is bad, just like the Kenka Bancho Otome fd. Every time Ichigo recalls something the screen flashes white, then flashes white again when transitioning back to the present. Okay if it’s once off, very irritating when she’s recalling multiple things back to back. Long loading time also means there’s a part of Hasegawa’s route where you will stare at a black screen for a while before hearing a loud sound from the game suddenly. 

Don’t think you can toggle skip mode without accessing the settings menu. I found the font a bit small when I started playing but this isn’t a big issue and I got used to it. Instead of Ichigo’s sprite they put a smartphone at the lower left corner. You would think with a heroine that can’t speak a sprite would be good since we at least see her expressions, but nope. Broccoli thinks players would rather stare at a blank phone screen. The only plus feature is the ‘skip to next option’.

Trophy collection is straightforward in general. If you are missing a CG for full complete try replaying the scene where Hasegawa and Ichigo are in the car on their way to buy stuff and select the other options.

Art/Music: The music for this game is really nice. I like it a lot. But I won’t buy the soundtrack because I don’t want to throw money at Broccoli >_> The OP grew on me heh.

The art isn’t bad, despite it not being actual Kazuki Yone CGs. Most of them look pretty good. A few of the sprites are used in the CGs (Tsukimi’s back-facing sprite being the most common) but this isn’t a huge issue. There are so many CGs of Ichigo in various outfits and expressions lol. During one of the fight scenes they used this one:

which was funny because that is totally not the expression of someone freaking out and trying to stop a fight. 

Ichigo’s smartphone does make some of the CGs look a bit silly imo but that can’t really be helped.

Look at the poor girl frantically trying to get Matsuri to look at her phone :/

In the end I would say the most frustrating thing about the game is how much promise it had, and how good it could have been. Certain things like Ichigo and Matsuri’s connection could have been explored more. Or a bit more about how the guys got into their profession. Giving the antagonistic organization a bigger presence would have been good too, instead of them being a sort of vaguely mentioned and never seen organisation. If only they had taken the time to smooth everything out nicely and not rush things. It feels like a game that didn’t have enough effort put into it by the company, trying to make up for it with nice packaging.

This is the most disappointing vita game I’ve bought to date and unless you are the sort who doesn’t care about shoddy writing, really, save yourself the pain of playing Korosuto.

[tumblunni]

Hhhh bunni legs pain accomplishment day

I HAVE FINISHED THE SHOPPING OF HELL

Tfw u only get paid 4 days before christmas and have to rush everything aaaa

It was bad enough today so i'm so glad i got it done before it got even more busy!

Misc boring essentials i bought for myself: new phone charger cos broken, new trousers cos i spilt hair bleach on my only two pairs, new shoes cos my left shoe literally snapped in half down the middle like wtf even happened there, cheap pink hair dye from a discount store cos i wanna try different colours but in a thrifty way

Now for EXCITING CHRISTMAS PRESENT TIME!!!!

First off SO MANY pc and xbox 360 games from Every Charity Shop In Cardiff, St Mellons, Rumney and Llanrumney. My sis has been trying to find some games to play but was like 'dont worry about it i can just wait til the charity shop gets something good'. So i thought i'd get some stocking stuffers via all the charity shops on my side of town. By our powers combined we will blitz the entire vale of glamorgan's discount gaming scene!!! I found SO MANY good stuff for £1/£2/£3 like holy shit i love when charity shops dont know the proper price for shit XD

speaking of which i also found a WEBCAM for £2! If its that cheap it probanly isnt great but itd still be fun to play around with! :D and the same store also had an old vintage G1 My Little Pony coffee mug in excellent condition. Oh god the nostalgia! My support worker gave me a lift to llanrumney so i had to awkwardly explain why i had an armful of weird 80s mugs and big teary eyes!

Speaking of vintage, i found this new vintage toys and games shop in cardiff called Galactic Attic! The name hooked me in and then they actually DID have pokemon inside! As well as all sorts of stuff ranging from 40s to 90s, wow! There was even a lil pile of old 90s gaming magazines in the corner, covered up by a bunch of boxes. I'm glad i noticed them! I got the announcemt issues for pokemon diamond pearl and platinum in a weird old pokemon fan magazine that i loved as a kid. Im kinda sad that nowadays we just have one official magazine fpr each console and not the wild madness of amateaur journalists failing horribly to get news from japan. Shame they didnt have Beckett Pokemon cos that one was infamous fot drawing its own terrible interpretations of pokemon sprites to avoid copyright. And speaking of terrible, they even had bootleg pokemon!! I talked to the cashier and he was like "you know those are fake right" and i was like "yeah its so nostalgic thats why i want em" and he was like "lol yeah they actually sell pretty well so i'm not mad my supplier ripped me off". It was a pretty good and awesomely terrible fake at the same time? There was this exact replica of some japanese display stand for the product and then the actual pokeball toys looked perfect BUT the mini pokemon inside were.. Really not. I am so damn happy with the surprise inside my one, surprise inside has never been more accurate! I can't take a picture now cos my phone is charging but REGICHEETO. Just..just imagine that, and whatever you're imagining it is probably worse. I love it so fuckin much. Also less hilariously there were some bootleg mini pika plushies with actually (as far as i can tell) their own unique design? They have cute lil winter scarves and an art style that reminds me of the Magical Pokemon Adventure manga. A really cute and good bootleg that i would have loved to see as a real product! The only way you can even tell its a bootleg is because there's no marking on the tail. I dunno, maybe if i still have some brown fabric in the cupboard i could fix it? Or maybe its unique tail makes it even more special! I mean there's Cosplay Pikachu with its double tail marking so maybe this is her cousin Accessory Pikachu with no markings? He just likes wearing scarfs and hats and stuff. OMG HE'S THE POKEMON GO EVENT PIKACHU!!!!!!

Along the miscness of finding a few things for myself, i also found: cute lil pokemon pencilcase, kingdom hearts blind bag, cheap copy of Fruits Basket volume 1 cos the new remake is coming out soon and i wanna Get Hype! The KH blind bag was really weird cos i didnt know they now have an entirely different set as well as the keychains i bought before. Its kind of a shame the art style doesnt match cos vexen is only in the keychains, alas! But i do really love these ones! Theyre apparantly made by funko pop but dont have the art style AT ALL, they just look like really accurate versions of the characters in mini form. Its kinda like the 'distance animation' style in steven universe? (Incidentally they also do SU ones but they missed the opportunitu to actually use the distance style, lol) I got a Sora in his kh2 outfit and i'm decently happy with that, its not one i really wanted but its not a bad one either. But i think now i've tried the fun of surprise once i'll just buy the actual ones i want off ebay later. They have roxas in his organization outfit! With a happy smile!!!

Oh oh and then EVEN MORE XBOX GAMES OF THE WILD THRIFT STORE VOID! i managed to find the whole fable series, two assassins creeds, saints row, gta, some misc shooter games and racers that she wanted but i dont know much about, mass effect 2 and ff13. I think maybe one or two others cos i cant fully remember right now. Theyre all in separate bags strewn across the room and my shoulders feel like death so i'll sort through them later.

Aaaand i wrote up like 14 paragraphs more but tumblr didnt save my draft fpr some fuckin reason and now im way too tired to do it again

Briefer summary:

* had a huge horrible panic attack getting stuck in a skyscraper shopping centre clothes place full of screaming and every perfume smell and WHY DO I HAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS HELL MAZE TO FIND THE ESCALATOR and seriously i was my most primal animalistic self and i went full fight or flight on this bitch

* had a lovely time visiting Cool Shop Grandma and rambled the story of how i met her and how we became friends but hhh too tired to rewrite. But anyway today i gave her a christmas pikachu plush as thanks for everything and cos her shop is moving on to its next location soon. She got really teary and gave me a big hug! She's gonna be at a comic con in march so i hope i'm able to go to that and see her again.

* went on a wild goose chase looking for harry potter merchandise and eventually found a gold plated replica of the movie prop version of the time turner and HELL YES my sis will love it!

* rambled about several market stalls that were cool but i can make a separate post about that in the morning when i find their contact details to advertise them

* got a plushie delibird and decided to take selfies with it everywhere to try and fight my social anxiety somehow. We went to a neat lil restaurant and had cheesy fries and a coke float!

* asked for a refund on an item for the first time ever and im proud of myself

* went off on a mystery bus trip to buy a preowned 3ds and pokemon games from a lady in an online preowned stuff facebook group and it didnt go horribly and i am glad! She was really nice and i witnessed A Good And Smart Parenting Moment and man it healed my heart and i wish i'd been raised that way. Again i'll probably ramble about the details later when im less tired, it really touched my heart seriously! And now i have MANY GIFTS FOR SIS!

* in total i was out present shopping from 9am to 8pm and i clicked my shoulder out of its socket for a split second from.all the heavy bags. Now im in a lot of aches and i need a sleeps

The End

[dzpenumbra]

3/31/23

Spring has started. I can tell. I can feel myself changing, like a flower blooming. Emotionally, I guess... personality-wise. I think getting outside and socializing helped a lot too. But I legit am feeling myself grow more optimistic and confident. Despite lots of stress. Despite extreme isolation. Despite the same limiting anxieties.

Today was very different. I had a really good dream. But, very vivid. My dreams have been insanely vivid lately. This one was really nice. There was a woman in it. Fuck it, I'll just share what I remember. It's a little embarrassing because of like... how far I've strayed from the confident person I used to be... but it's a good representation of like... the juxtaposition of who I currently am and who I used to be/aspire to become again.

I was out at dinner at a restaurant. I remembered it was too late to order delivery (past 9, it's rare for me to remember numbers from dreams, so that was how vivid this was), so I said fuck it and went out to a local restaurant that I found on an app. I remember it had some like... kinda fancy gastropub-like name, so I was like... "oh, my brother and his wife would probably like this place", they're both foodies... but the restaurant had (Applebee's) in parentheses after it. That sealed the deal for me! XD

When I was out at dinner, I was there with a young girl. She was probably about... 8? I would guess... I'm not very good at guessing, I'm a childless guy in my mid-30's who only has a less-than-1-year-old nephew, I'm not really well-versed in the skill of guessing children's ages. This girl was someone I was there to babysit, I was in the guardian role, I'm guessing she was a symbol of my god-daughter or a daughter figure, or an analog of my nephew in the future or something. In past dreams of mine, children under my care have typically taken the form of female so often that I'd honestly be surprised if my first child was male.

So I'm out to dinner with this girl and the waitress comes over and takes our drink order... and I get anxious for some reason, pressure I guess? I hadn't looked at the menu. I skimmed the menu and picked out a Shirley Temple, and the waitress kinda side-eyed me and went... "are you sure? That's kind of a kid's drink..." And I... dude, I fucking backpedaled. I was like... "oh... yeah... well, in that case, I guess I'll have a Sprite, that's fine." And as the waitress was walking off to take the order, a woman at a table nearby flagged her down.

She was an attractive blonde around my age, she was with her daughter, who was around the age of the kid I was taking care of. She said some conditions to the waitress that I didn't catch or don't remember, but it was something like... "if _____ happens, you need to bring him that kid's drink." Like... intentionally, lovingly, prankishly putting me in an awkward position so I would have to fucking "yes, and" my way through that shit. Like I used to. Like I haven't fucking done in ages.

I used to jump at the chance to make an ass out of myself! Okay... here's a few tangential stories, for my own sake, to remember the good times, the person I was and still am deep inside. I went to a metal concert with my brother and two friends. This was ironically the one where I got kicked in the shin with steel toed boots. I had so much adrenaline pumping through my system, I really didn't think it was that bad at all. I bought a pair of booty shorts from the merch booth for myself, as a stupid goofy outfit. I had tons of weird goofy clothes to wear to kinda... subvert peoples' expectations and make an ass out of myself to lighten the mood and lift spirits. Like a Jackass kinda thing. So at the end of the show, it was like... I guess... maybe very early summer, so... still pretty cold at night. And after the show, I was in the parking lot in skate shoes, black booty shorts that said "Yo Ho" on the butt, no shirt and sunglasses, chainsmoking with a lighter tucked into the front of my pants. Why? Because it's fucking funny, no one dresses like that! It's out of place! Idk I thought it was funny, like an Eric Andre or Tim and Eric or Jackass kinda thing.

Another memory that keeps coming back was the second year I got to play with one of my bands on stage. We had a band that was called ShugaLoaf, a completely improvised rock/metal jam band. My brother was part of the band, we had 3 guitarists, a bassist and a drummer, but we rotated instruments a bit, so I would rotate between guitar and drums, T-Humps would rotate between guitar and drums, shit like that. And I played that gig with... silver spandex hot pants, barefoot, a T-shirt with a sliced loaf of bread drawn on it and cut in half so it was like a crop top, a green clip-on bow tie, gold glitter painted fingernails and a fucking whole-head rubber wizard mask. It was so much fun. I don't even care if we were any good, honestly. I don't care if those like 40 people watching us enjoyed us, or if we were just complete crap. I loved just acting goofy and being weird and having fun. It's like that feeling you get at a Halloween party, you know? And you can get that feeling any time you want, if you want. It's just... less "socially acceptable" to do it outside of certain environments, so it helps to have supportive friends, or to just not give a fuck what people think. I tended to fall more in the latter camp, and... that changed quite a bit over the years. Especially after dating someone who never went along with my "yes, and's".

So... in the dream... this woman who I had never met before had overheard my anxious fumbling situation, and my neurotic "oh man, what are people going to think of me if I'm seen ordering that drink, oh mercy me..." bullshit. And she added in some game conditions where I would, somewhat by chance, be put in that situation and have to figure it out. And it was so... fucking... relieving. It was like a weight lifted. I could see how silly it was. And I knew so fucking well that someone like her was exactly what I need in my life to rejuvenate that part of me. And I know she lives inside of me, which is really cool, and I can tap into that whenever I want. But... god, it'd be so much cooler if I met someone like her... XD Right? A guy can hope.

The dream time-jumped a bit, she came over to the table, it turned out that her daughter was in the same class as the girl I was caring for, they were friends. It was a nice connection, we hit it off.

Later in the dream, the chick was skating down a sidewalk that goes down a big hill, this was on a college campus... most of the dream took place on a college campus for whatever reason... and the sidewalk just like... suddenly dropped like a curb right where the hill went to flat, and then continued normally after the curb drop. And she was coming down the hill and did that thing that I did skating the other day, that people who are not as experienced or comfortable on their board do, where they kinda jump off their board and run away in a different direction. Because she saw the curb and didn't want to eat shit on it, it spooked her. And I went over to her and she was upset about how like... "god, how could they put this here, that's so dumb, it totally ruins it", and I was kinda like "yeah, I think that's kinda the point! It stops people from bombing the hill". But I saw a golden opportunity to teach her how to comfortably drop down curbs, and help her with that; instead of being upset, to see the fun in it and the opportunity to learn a new trick, and... I woke up.

And... I couldn't get back to sleep. I could barely even journal it. Because this was after only 4 hours of sleep. And my brain is just a chaotic fuzzy mess at that point. I'm basically sloppy drunk at that stage, especially with several days of sleep deprivation added to the pile. So, I dream-journaled it, which is why I remember so much of it. And then I went downstairs and got a snack and passed out in the comfy chair again. Not sure why passing out down here works better than just passing out in my bed, but... hey... if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

I woke up the second time at 2PM. Right when I needed to be up for a shower before my doctor's appointment. All went as scheduled, I got to the appointment, the dude was really nice. But he did hold eye contact a lot. Which, at a core level, I appreciated... but in my experience of the moment was super overwhelming. To go from very rare social interactions, like... barely making eye contact with strangers in the hallway... to full-on holding eye contact alone in a room with a stranger, where they are wearing a mask covering half their face, and they're between you and the door. I mean... it's fucking intense, especially for someone with doctor-related trauma. I don't feel... threatened by it. It's just... intimate and overwhelming. Overwhelming, that's the best way to put it. It's like someone just like... injected a whole energy drink into my veins all at once or something. And this went on for... nearly 45 minutes. Dude, I was absolutely blown away that the doctor made so much time for me. I was completely expecting a 15 minute one-and-done appointment. And this dude actually made time for me, and addressed my recurring infection thing, that he thinks is a result of me shaving my head... interestingly enough... Like shaving my head is cutting my scalp, and then the bacteria are just... setting up shop in there and the infection is secondary. So... instead of bombarding it with antibiotics, which did not work, we're going to try to reduce the inflammation to make it less painful, and try a different self-care regimen. Either I'm going to keep my hair at a low buzz instead of basically stubble... or... I might grow it out. It might actually be time to go back to like... ponytail-long hair. It's been ages. But hey, if that will make these fucking nasty pimple-like things that hurt like fuck go away, I'm in. Speaking of, the doc actually took a sample from one of them too just to figure out what was going on with it, but had to like... pop one... and I'm just going to tell you right now. If you are ever offered the wonderful opportunity to have an infection on the back of your scalp popped... don't miss out on that gem of an experience. Absolutely wonderful sensation. Think those headaches you can get right where the occipital bone meets the back/neck muscles, plus... intense swelling pressure, and then kind of a feeling like getting tattooed, followed by stinging.

So yeah, it was good to have a pleasant doctor's experience (minus the little bit of pain). He seemed genuinely interested in my story and not rushed for time, which I expressed appreciation for very openly. I had my therapy appointment after, which went very well also. We're very buddy-buddy now, which is nice. We felt very on-the-same-page today. And I explained a lot about the anxiety shit... the big amorphous wall of anxiety, and how him reminding me the connection to the polyvagal system has been really helpful for me. I made the connection that like... well, he reminded me that I was raised with pretty poor expectations of relationships, because of my family. And I elaborated that, in addition to this, I had crap luck with friends, too. And romantic partners. And maybe I just didn't know any better? I didn't know that better was a real thing and that walking away in those situations was actually like... a good thing? I just got bad d20 rolls, you know? Meet a person, happens to be a fentanyl dealer.

And he brought into the conversation this time that I... see the best in everyone. EVERYONE. Like, I could see the best in a fucking Great White Shark that was eating my leg. Or a black hole that I was being sucked into. And we went back and forth on that, how frustrating that one of my best qualities, that has been a quality of mine since I was born, something very deeply rooted in my personality, has led me to where I am now. Because people have taken advantage of it. And used me. And abused me. And drained me dry. And left me bleeding on the side of the road. And ran. And screamed and blamed and pushed me away. You name it. And I took it all, and forgave it all. Because I see the light in all of us. I see us all as being redeemable. And there are many many many many many many many many many many many times that I wish I didn't. That I wish I could just turn that off.

And that's where the paradox comes out. If I see the light in everyone... why am I walking around expecting the darkness in everyone to strike me? Why am I skating and expecting someone to pull a gun on me? Or pull a knife when I'm walking to the medical center and try to steal my AirPods? Or have a cop pull me over and give me a ticket for skating in the sidewalk? Or have some cranky asshole yell at me because the clacking of my wheels on the sidewalk was "too loud". If I see the best in everyone, if I can forgive the Devil himself, why am I expecting the worst to happen all the time? It still confuses me. It hasn't always been this way.

And I explained to my therapist that I think that is the trauma component. That was because for years... since about... oh crap... I was gonna say the whole pandemic, but it was the summer before that too... and with my last relationship... at least a lot of it... so... let's be generous and say... since about 2017? Since around when I moved into my old house, the one on the pond? That's when the shit hit the fan. That's when I people really close to me... were regularly, very regularly, gaslighting and projecting and blaming me for their insecurities and unmanaged emotions and shit. It started with my ex. Then it was my parents. Then it was my little brother. Then it was 2 of my former best friends. Then my only other friend at the time. Then I looked around, and there was no one left. It was like when I finally pulled the Jenga block of my ex out of my life... in time, the rest of the tower just collapsed.

And, I shit you not, the catalyst for this was... me reconnecting with myself, rediscovering my confidence, rediscovering my creativity and inspiration, and cultivating motivation myself and diving head-first into creating my new life. A life that's about... 4 years old now. Happy birthday, New Me. :) Past Me would be scared shitless to share all this on the internet with random strangers, but New Me knows that life is too precious and fleeting to be scared of peoples' superficial judgement. At least... he tries to remember that... as much as he can... But man, people can be really fucking loud and nosy with their judgement, huh? People just really don't know when to keep their opinions to their selves anymore, do they? Thanks, Twitter.

So... I was kinda summing up for him that I think what I'm having is just sort of a... generalized trauma response to... being around figures that have more power than me? Because of being regularly yelled at and blamed by people very close to me, regularly, like several times a week, every week, for years. And having that be the only social interaction I had. It's like... you put a dog in a closet and smack it on the nose every time I tries to come out... it's gonna wince every time it comes out of the closet. Right? So... slow and steady... I'm just chipping away at the anxiety reflexes by building up my library of experiences, so it's not 95% of the time bad things happen when you interact with authority figures... it's like... 75%. Then 50%. Then eventually 20%... and so on. Like with my doctors. I definitely have a bit of medical trauma. A lot, actually. So... I was in the doctor's office all hunched over and shoulders up and had to be really deliberate to make eye contact. I think I was visibly not good. But the nurse was super chill and helped break the ice, and the doctor seemed very understanding and patient, and didn't seem to judge me the way I was expecting. So... my doctor percentage right now is like... 80% bad and 20% good. Which is much better than like "I shouldn't even bother setting up an appointment, they're just going to accuse me of drug seeking and kick me out." Much better.

So yeah, I got chinese food and watched an RP stream and that was basically it. Did some runs in the desire path project that I'm still super insecure about because I just don't think anyone will fucking get it... but yeah, since that's the case... here. Fuck it. I'll export the current progress and put it here. In case anyone read this far down.

That's 80 trips now. Looks pretty cool, right? It keeps giving me lightning vibes. I'm going to 100 runs, then I'm going to either start a new one... or... the idea that popped in my head today was... If I pop this into Blender and use the grease pencil, trace all these paths one by one, I can actually... animate this. I was thinking it might make more sense and be more accessible for today's audience to make a video for this kind of piece. That tells the concept, explains the parallels that I'm exploring (development of habits, learning, synaptic connection), shows bits of the process and then displays this final product in a form that's a bit more dynamic. I mean, this is very striking for me, because I know what it means, I know the scale. That circle shrine at the top has a 17m diameter, for scale. And I've seen the development of the really thick lines where the path has been steadily growing, to the point where there's nearly a solid line all the way throughout that formed completely unintentionally, it was just a byproduct of intuitive pathfinding as I was building a routine. So yeah, I'm putting a lot of thought into storyboarding and scripting a video for this and then putting it on Instagram and YouTube. I think it'll be good.

So yeah. Unfortunately, it got late again. But I have nothing to do tomorrow so... I might take a small dose of tincture tonight and try to just catch up on sleep as much as I can. It's very overdue.

Oh... and I have to finish my hoodie still... Hmm... Soon, soon... XD

[atopearth]

Higurashi When They Cry Part 5 - Ch 5 Meakashi-hen

(So the answer arcs answer each of the question arcs and then the whole thing? Ooo)

We’re already getting some answers! Shion was in a private school where they were practically training her to be something like an ojou-sama/lady and she tried to pretending to be one, and it worked but it was boring so she always reverted back to her true personality. Loll, what I love is her dedication to escaping that school though, pretty elaborate plan! XD although I had an inkling, I never really thought Oryo (Mion and Shion’s grandmother) actually hated Shion just because I guess it’s those usual twin things where the second one is bad luck? I knew that the twins were good friends but I never expected that they actually got along THAT well and now I see that Shion pretended to be Mion at Angel Mart not only because it was fun to play with Keiichi but also because she was hiding away from her parents but needed money to survive by herself after running off. She’s such a cool girl.

So, putting it in order, the dam protests, the dam construction halted indefinitely, first death with the dam construction head dismembered into pieces, then Satoko’s parents dying falling off a cliff (one of their bodies not found/disappeared) and then Rika’s dad dying from an unknown illness and her mum jumping into the swamp to her death. Satoko’s parents were pro-dam and were considered traitors and Rika’s dad was neutral and did not favour either causing some people to be dissatisfied with him. Tbh, I wonder if Rika’s mother killed herself because she couldn’t take how weird Rika was, I mean she seemed pretty insane complaining about her in her diary already so if she met that other “personality”, she might have gone a bit more crazy?

Shion’s pretty cool to not even be fazed at a bunch of thugs trying to extort her for money for kicking down their motorcycles. She’s right that as long as the people in Okinomiya notice that she’s Mion, they’d rush to her aid super fast. It was pretty funny when she started fake crying to make things a bit more fun for her lol. Satoshi seems like a good guy for trying to save her even though he’s weak and hasn’t raised his voice to anyone before. He’s so cool. Aww she fell in love at the first meeting! Patting the head gets girls😂 he did it to comfort her because she was crying though haha, so cute. He seems so innocent and kind. Shion’s like bullying him, their relationship is so cute. It’s kinda crazy though, Satoshi is so clumsy and needs to be protected himself and yet he tries his best to protect Satoko, he’s really a great big brother. Every time I read his diary though, I feel so sad for him, he’s just a kid himself but he’s trying his best to do what he can as the older one having to face the brunt of his aunt’s abuse. She’s probably mad that she has to take care of them, mad that Satoshi’s parents were pro dam and that makes their life in Hinamizawa harder and mad that her husband is with the mistress all the time, so she takes it out on them. Maybe for Satoshi, being with the Mion who is actually Shion is one of the only times he can relax. I guess that applies for Shion as well, being like the baseball club’s manager just to help and spend time with him is nice.

I see, I think I can see why Satoko felt so guilty in her arc, Satoshi always had to protect her so when he was trying his best to be good but Satoko clashed with the aunt or their multiple stepfathers, as the good brother he was, he always took most of the violence in place of her….and yet at the end of the day, she gets to sleep peacefully whilst Satoshi still deals with the rest of the chores and everything. Rena is so observant to notice that Shion is jealous of how much Satoshi cares for Satoko that he’s even doing a part time job to get her a nice birthday present. Can’t blame her I guess since he’s her only friend and she wants to see him but he’s quit baseball now. I wonder if Rena can tell she’s not Mion and is just pretending to not notice. Rena’s really smart after all.

So Rena has experienced the footsteps too, just like the ones Keiichi always felt and heard in the previous story when he killed Satoko’s uncle? Wow, I knew Shion was mad but to see her go ballistic and hurt Satoko… Reminds me of how protective Keiichi was of Satoko before. I guess she’s just as desperate to protect Satoshi and seeing him so worn out, depressed and his foul mood must have made her feel even worse when she saw Satoko crying for her brother for something small. Her being a spoilt child needing his help for everything must have made her want to literally kill her…. And seeing Satoshi hurt Shion was so saddening too, but I guess her screaming out that he actually thinks of Satoko as a burden must have made his guilt and anger take over him. I wonder how Mion will react to this though… She lent Shion her spot in school for a day and this happens even though she warned her to not go crazy… I love Rena though, she’s always the one that breaks up the fights and is probably the most calm, level headed and mature.. Until Oyashiro-sama comes into the conversation anyway lol. So, the one that Satoshi requested to take Satoko to the festival was actually Shion. Satoshi thinks that the one who has it the hardest is Satoko.. did he really..like Keiichi thought…kill the aunt? He’s leaving Satoko to her? He doesn’t care if he disappears or whatever because of Oyashiro-sama’s curse as long as he buys that teddy bear for Satoko? I see…. I guess the people who become the victims are told that they will be the victims that year…..and that gave Satoshi a firm resolve to killing his aunt to protect Satoko in the future that he won’t exist in.. he’s much calmer than Keiichi though, I guess it’s more apathetic though, as someone who’s had to be the mature one, he’s learnt to control and hide his true emotions and keep a straight face for mostly everything. In a sense, he’s pretty scary and a bit similar to Rika.

She revealed her true identity so that she could make up an alibi to protect Satoshi.. She really cares about him so much.. I never thought that it’d end up so bad for her as well but I guess it’s understandable considering she’s Shion and not Mion so they don’t care as much. I feel sorry for Kasai and her uncle, I hope they’re okay… But to pluck out 3 fingernails as punishment and having to do it yourself with the device, that must be so…eugh… If it saves Kasai and her uncle, it’s worth it but… It was good that someone else did it for her since she messed up the second time and got scared. I don’t think I’d be able to do it myself either. Hurting yourself is difficult. But yeah, now I can see why Shion doesn’t really like Ooishi in a sense. He’s like a bringer of bad news.

I’ve always liked Mion quite a bit, but seeing that she shouted at her grandma for Shion and had her fingernails pulled out too, you could really see how sincere of a person she was. Even though she carries the burden as the successor, she always thinks that Shion has the worst of everything. I always thought Shion and Satoshi dated but I guess not hahaha~

Keiichi’s sprite on Steam looks cooler than I thought considering the comments I read about people not liking it. I think he’s pretty much how I imagined him tbh, a bit silly but cool. I approve. Lmaooo when he got rid of those guys harassing Shion (same scenario as when Satoshi saved her) but way more hilariously because they were talking about stripping her and Keiichi, as a man of culture could not approve of stark nakedness as the best way to enjoy…looking at the human body I guess. I laughed like crazy when he said at least leave some socks on hahahha, his fetish😂😂😂 Hearing how sad Mion actually was when Keiichi didn’t give her one of the dolls with all her tears…made me remember how sad her face was Keiichi and Rena went to her house to get her to confess to everything…

And the story follows Shion’s perspective as she drags Keiichi with her to the forbidden storehouse just because she wanted a partner in crime and who best to get than the one Mion likes? Except that thumping sound she hears in the storehouse that Takano and Keiichi can’t hear.. What could it be? Especially since Tomitake heard it too? To be honest, although I thought about Shion possibly having swapped places with Mion ages ago in Watanagashi, I dismissed it because I didn’t really think Shion was crazy or someone who would go to such extents anyway, but I could never grasp how Mion could be like that considering the person she was. But I guess now it’s rather clear, Mion let her guard down and allowed Shion to stay over at the main house in Hinamizawa and after she secretly heard of Takano and Tomitake’s horrific deaths, she used a stun gun to restrain Mion and the grandma and took Mion’s place. Considering how nice Mion always was to Shion, I’m really disappointed in her. I was going to say, considering the grandma’s age and weak health, I’m surprised she didn’t die from the stun gun but I guess she really did…

Seeing everything from Shion’s perspective really puts into perspective everything we saw from Keiichi’s view. I always thought that Mion asked Keiichi if he saw Shion twice because she knew they snuck in the storehouse together or that she knew he hung out with Shion and she was jealous. But really, it was Shion all along… I never suspected how devout the older generation were in their belief of Oyashiro-sama and how angry they would feel to say that Tomitake and Takano deserved those deaths considering how sacred the ritual storehouse is. This is a tradition thing, if not a curse thing after all.

But I see why Kimiyoshi died in Watanagashi now. She was sad that Kimiyoshi wasn’t saddened by the fact that even though she said (as Mion) that the other two that will be punished for entering the storehouse would be her, he didn’t show any concern at all, which to her probably interpreted as she deserved to die too. So in order to preserve the uncle she had always loved, she made it seem like he died because he wanted to help Shion, one to further her plot and two, to keep the Kimiyoshi she always loved as she remembers before she sees any more about him that would tarnish her image of him. Or I guess I got a bit ahead of myself since he showed her later how much he actually cares about her…too bad he didn’t have the same concern for Satoshi whom she’s gone crazy for and because of…Poor Kimiyoshi. How cruel of Shion to torture him like that with him probably ending up hanging himself… She’s turning into a serial killer now, huh?

Did someone really “deal” with Satoshi under the “indirect” order of Oryou after all? Since as long she talks about something and expects it without actually relaying it, the others have interpreted that as orders and fulfilled it. Would they have also considered that the three nails Shion gave up to be for Kasai, her uncle that owns Angel Mort and Shion herself rather than one of them being for Satoshi? Since anyone would do anything for Oryou and Hinamizawa is bonded enough to cover for each other, there’s really no way to tell if someone did something or not… So now that Oryou is dead and the truth of the curse of Oyashiro-sama is this murderous system that was created with all of Hinamizawa protecting and using it, Shion thus considers the whole of Hinamizawa to be her enemy rather than the actual person that might have killed Satoshi, which is fair enough. Satoshi wasn’t really killed by one person because in the end, what drove him to suffering what he did was Hinamizawa itself and that’s why he unconsciously wanted to escape from it.

I never thought about it but I guess it would be logical that if they killed Satoshi, Oryou would have disposed of his body by throwing it in that underground torture chamber well, it’s so well hidden after all. When you think about how Shion is right now though, you can’t help but think she was hiding all the pain of being the unwanted and cursed twin all this time. And it’s even worse that Mion and Shion swapped places all the time as kids so who was Mion and who was Shion could not be determined anymore since no one could tell the difference. In the end, the fateful choice of who was who was arbitrarily chosen when they separated the two and not at birth (which they really should have done). I wonder if Mion was in Shion’s shoes would have became the same as Shion in the present? I hate that Shion is being so violent and mean to Rika! Just because she says stuff that Shion doesn’t like, she slaps and pushes her. She’s really as crazy as she was when she threw Satoko around. I wonder if Rika-chan noticed that the one who was talking to her and treating her like that actually isn’t Mion…

Omg…. Rika is ruthless. I assume Rika attacked Shion at her house because she wanted to protect Keiichi? It’s too bad that Shion won the fight but that was so intense omg. Especially when Rika killed herself by slamming her throat against the knife she put into the wall so that she wouldn’t let Shion have the satisfaction in torturing her. That is so insane but understandable. That would take so much guts but I guess when you think about having to hear how crazily happy Shion would be killing you, I think I’d rather this too but omgg moving backwards letting the knife continuously slash her throat sounds so eughhhh too.

Considering how much Satoshi loved Satoko and wanted her to live, I’m really disappointed in Shion torturing and killing her like that (to spite Mion for never having helped to save Satoshi, so Shion wants her to feel the same pain of being helpless) even though she’s hated her from day one. In the end, she’s really just obsessed with the idea of Satoshi and how kind of a person he was to her when no one was, but in the end it could have been anyone, what she’s doing isn’t revenge for Satoshi, she’s getting revenge for herself. Shion torturing the helpless Satoko is so disgusting, I want to cry, especially when Satoko talked about how after Satoshi disappeared, she realised how much she had cornered him by always relying on him and never doing anything to help him and… That’s why she wants to be independent.. So that he’ll come back.. having her endure all this pain and wishing for her brother to come back in her last moments… It’s so sad… Shion totally forgot about Satoshi’s last request to take care of Satoko and was instead driven by loneliness and hatred to fill her emptiness, completely forgetting about the person Satoshi really was.

Now that Shion has realised how she’s become a demon, all she thinks she can do is continue doing what a demon does until someone catches her. At least, she hopes someone will catch her lies I guess. The confession in the Sonozaki residence makes so much sense now.. the demon within her that she was talking about makes so much sense after seeing everything from Shion’s perspective… And her saying that Shion (meaning Mion) really liked him too… Because it’s true that she loved him so much. I guess the reason why despite Rena could see through everything but not the fact that she wasn’t Mion was because Shion didn’t even know who she was anymore. She lived as a demon believing that she was Mion, the rightful successor but in the end, she was also Shion, the weak and lonely one. They had swapped places so much, their existences couldn’t be separated anymore.

I’m so sorry Mion for believing that it was really you! I just assumed that her responsibility as the successor made her have two personalities! Or that this second personality was actually Oyashiro-sama. I just assumed that there was another her… I guess I wasn’t exactly wrong since Shion is another her I guess…. It makes much more sense for Mion to be the one screaming in the cell knowing that Keiichi would die.. I always thought Shion was over reacting since I never thought she cared about Keiichi that much but I thought she had probably gone a bit insane staying in a cell for so long… So to Shion, everything started with Keiichi not giving the doll to Mion, because Mion cried to her about it and that made Shion jealous that the person she loved was beside her when Satoshi wasn’t. I always felt bad that I never realised how important a gesture like that was to Mion but I guess I was wrong. This was just the unreasonableness of Shion.

Mion is being pushed to the bottom of the well to delay everything and allow Shion to escape.. The biggest revelation though is that Oryou actually was always just a figurehead that took the “blame" for every incident that happened even though she really doesn’t have any real power and never ordered any of these things. She was just a normal granny…. It would be too hard for Shion to swallow that everything she did up until now was useless and wrong.. When Shion said her life was only a notebook long (where she writes all her guilt and analysis of the curse), I felt really sad…. Because I guess that is so true in a way… I guess I wasn’t too far off in how Shion died though, I always thought she went insane and all that arguing people heard was just her talking to herself. I was wrong about how she became insane though haha, since she believes the ghost of Mion is hanging around her and I just thought she was super traumatised witnessing so many deaths. To accidentally slip to her death is so ironic considering how many people she killed so ruthlessly on purpose.. but I guess at least, like the ones she killed, she didn’t get a choice in how to die either.

You know… If everything really ended up like that little snippet where Shion went to school at Hinamizawa as well and actually took care of Satoko as she had promised with Satoshi, it really would have been nice, huh? It would have been so enjoyable and fun… It’s too bad that everything turned out like this instead. It’s too bad that a happy ending couldn’t happen. Btw, the twins’ mum is so pretty!!! Woww! I guess, a mature beauty? Hahaha, but I wonder what Oryou once did to have her fingernails plucked as atonement too? Keeping Shion alive when she was born? Hmmmm…

Reading Ryukishi07’s note, I guess I did sympathise with Shion’s situation to an extent, so I’m not completely crazy like her hahaha. But, I really did, because I think I can understand to an extent how powerful and oppressing of a feeling loneliness, rejection and jealousy can be. Shion always tried to protect herself from the pain of being rejected by her family and not getting along with anyone else with that playful attitude of hers but Satoshi broke through that with his silliness and kindness. So when he disappeared, she lost everything. If he never appeared in her life, she would have accepted her fate as she always did but because he existed, she found something and someone she could believe in that can make her happy. So when everything and everyone took him away, she lashed out at everyone for letting this happen, whether they were directly involved or not and this was only amplified by the fact that she was jealous of Mion. Jealous that she hadn’t lost anything and could experience that "happy” feeling of love that she couldn’t anymore. Especially since they’re twins, that would have made it worse. I mean, as she said, they’re practically the same, so why was their life so different? How could she possibly accept that? If she was tormented, of course she’ll want Mion to feel the same, because they’re twins after all. That’s what I think anyway. But, I sympathise most with the poor people she killed, it was terrible. Btw I loved the music in this chapter for Shion, that melancholic, sorta happy but also sad soundtrack was really beautiful and suitable for the whole theme of this chapter. I loved it. Both the music and the story.

[violetosprey]

TDDUP My thoughts on Ellen

Doing one of these for each of the 5 stars in TDDUP (yes, even the ladies).  This is incredibly subjective, so I decided not to call this a review.  Rant sounds too negative to me, it’s more a mix of gushing and analysis here.  Anyways, MAJOR SPOILERS ahead because I may talk about stuff not revealed until the very end of a play through.  In fact I’m probably going to talk in a way that just assumes the person reading this has completed TDDUP.  Kinda like, “Oh I won’t give the whole story of this scene because you know what I’m talking about.”  Now for the final character, Ellen!

This may end up being a long post again.  Depends on if more thoughts start coming as I write.  Ellen makes me think :P 

But before I get into anything here, I need to point out that Ellen is actually not owned by ElectricPuke, but instead by rotworld.  I believe Puke did the coding, backgrounds, sprites, cgs, and I think picked the music if I’m not mistaken (and it’s one of my favorite soundtracks in TDDUP).  So I thank him for that, but otherwise the character herself and the script was crafted by rotworld.  So they’re the ones I’m really going to be thanking  here for this character (Puke got enough love in the last posts anyway, haha).

Ellen pretty much went from being the character I thought I was just going to skim over in TDDUP, to being one of my absolute favorites.  In fact, I’d say out of all the TDDUP cast, she’s the one who’s the most complex.  When you look at the characters, you can pretty sum up their personalities right away and say what’s wrong with them:

Chris: Good husband who finally snaps under years of abuse.

Jack: Sociopathic killer and necrophiliac (who still loves you)

Marcus: Good cop with a really really bad case of obsessive love

Aria: Sister-in-law with a brother complex who has it out for you

Ellen: An intelligent college student who’s taken an interest in someone she should probably be keeping her distance from…

Yeah when I look at all of them, I feel like the ones with the most layers are Jack and Ellen.  Jack’s complex because he’s a serial killer with a weird sex fetish who…still does not want to murder his wife (even though he’s likely a sociopath).  Ellen is complex because she’s an otherwise “normal” college school student who knows Jack’s a serial killer and instead wants to get closer to him.  You play through Ellen’s route and it’s pretty easy to get an idea of her character, quirks, and thinking.  We learn a whole lot about her, but at the same time there’s also a lot of things we still don’t understand about Ellen.

Let’s start with what we know:  Ellen is a college student studying at the university Jack works at.  Jack is one of her professors and admires his intelligence and strict way of teaching.  She’s an intelligent young woman who speaks in a polite and proper manner.  She’s aware Jack is married.  She mostly shows Jack respect, but there are small hints of slight romantic feelings towards Jack.  I believe she does state that she’s inexperienced in physical relationships, but she does show an interest in them.  She is curious what it would be like to have sex with Jack.

Ellen has somehow found out that not only has Jack been murdering people, but he has been having sex with their corpses.  This appears to be something that, while she logically concludes to be unusual, intrigues her instead of repels her.  She shows a desire to want to participate in Jack’s “work.”  She even admits to Jack that she knows what he’s doing in an attempt to pressure him to let her participate.  Based on the actions in her route, she even shows that she has considered the thought of actively participating in killing people and defiling their corpses if Jack wishes.  She does not appear to have any actual experience killing a human being though (I think).  She also does not believe herself to be a sadist, but will go as far as to cause harm to others when she is feeling stressed herself in order to calm down (even pretending she’s done nothing wrong in the process).

Ellen doesn’t actually appear to have any malice towards Jack’s spouse.  She only gets antagonistic if the MC becomes too mean/defiant or a “bad dog.”  She kidnaps the MC with the intent to learn more about Jack and the MC’s relationship with Jack.  Ellen shows that she has this very strange habit of… referring to you as her dog (yet acknowledges that you can speak, and that you are, again, married to Jack).  Unlike Aria, Ellen’s endings vary widely.

I know I say in the beginnings of these posts that I wasn’t really going to elaborate on every scene in the path, but with Ellen I HAD to write down everything I knew I about her.  That’s three paragraphs worth there of trying to piece together Ellen’s character, behavior, and motives.  Like I said, we learn a ton about Ellen, but there’s also a lot left unanswered.  Where to start…

First off, we know that while Ellen appears sane, there’s something not right about that girl.  The whole “catharsis through other’s pain” is either her being in denial that she is actually a sadist, or she really does only cause harm to others at times of stress.  Regardless, the things she does (putting glass in your food or a cricket in your ear) are too creative and bizarre for a “normal” person.  As for the dog thing, the more I think about it, the stranger it gets.  This may be going more into personal opinion territory here because this is the one concept in Ellen’s path where I CANNOT seem to grasp her thinking.  

From my viewpoint, Ellen doesn’t actually hate the MC.  Heck, two of the death endings are just accidents by Ellen (you have to really tick her off or force her into a corner for a deliberate kill).  Ellen isn’t even anywhere on the same level of Aria when it comes to envy (yes Aria is mostly mad because of the abuse, but there’s no denying she’s like envious of you being married to Chris too).  Like I said, Ellen is for the most part polite and proper.  She doesn’t appear to be doing the whole “you’re my dog” thing for any sexual fetish either.  I suppose maybe it could be a form of control by humiliating you.  She may just not be pointing it out and just stating more matter-o-factly that you’re her dog similar in a similar way to how she makes you believe at first you were crazy about the food being deadly.  But the thing here is she did have a dog in the past, and she does seem to like dogs.  So part of me wants to say that this isn’t something she’s doing out of spite, for dominance, or a sexual fetish.  She...knows who you are but also wants another dog?

For once I’m actually stumped XD  I’ve been able to think carefully and kind of get the actions of most of these characters, but the dog thing I can’t connect the dots.  Please don’t make mistake this for me saying that this is a bad character because she makes no sense.  Far from it!  I think basically I just don’t know Ellen’s past, so I can’t connect the dots here very well.  I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s suffered some kind of abuse or trauma beforehand.  And that actually makes her a lot more fun and interesting.  Maybe she’s trying to connect with the MC in some strange way.  She likes dogs, so she’s trying to like you right away too?  I don’t know, someone else would have to give a crack at this XD  But yeah I actually liked the whole dog treatment in this path because it made the story even more different from the others and did a good job at emphasizing that Ellen is not quite normal.  Gives the path more of an identity.

Another thing I like about Ellen is the fact that she’s actually kind of relatable for a lot of the audience that TDDUP is targeting.  No, don’t worry.  I’m not saying that everyone who plays TDDUP is secretly kidnapping spouses, treating them like dogs and feeding them glass :P  No it occurred to me when I was talking about Marcus and why people like yanderes.  Something along the lines of “I want to be the exception in a bad boy/bad guy’s life.”  I mean you want to be the person who doesn’t get hurt or even helps the person who does bad things become a better person.  It’s a pretty common romantic idea.  The key here is you have to pay attention to whether it’s a bad boy or a bad guy (because there’s a huge difference).

What Ellen wants, is to be that exception towards Jack.  In fact, I think she believes herself capable of that because she accepts Jack despite what he does.  She wants to get closer to him and volunteers to work alongside him.  A lot of people who play TDDUP (and probably the BTD games) likely will want to aim for the survival endings if there are any.  I’m sure there’s a lot of people like me who were wondering just how “good” a survival ending would be exactly.  These games have have both survival endings that genuinely make you feel good...and ones that make you realize you were better off dead.  Ellen’s like a player character aiming for a survival ending with hopefully some romance blossoming.

The funny thing is, Jack already has an exception...the MC (and apparently anyone else who’s family).  If you don’t spy on Jack, we learn rather quickly that Jack had no intention of having Ellen work with him, despite any respect or sympathy he may have had for her as his student.  He ultimately saw her as no different from any of his other victims.  So lesson learned: Just because you think you can tame a mad man, doesn’t mean you can.  Going for the bad boy is cute, going for the bad guy is dangerous.

Finally, I think what I REALLY like about Ellen most was the survival ending where she lets you go.  I really wasn’t expecting an ending where you get off completely free like that.  In fact both Ellen’s survival endings are probably more appealing than Aria’s one survival ending to be honest (how well Ellen treats you as a dog is debatable, but I digress).  The ending where she lets you go is almost surreal.  There’s no communication between the player and Ellen for the most part, no threats by Ellen to not tell anyone about this, and no declaration by the MC that you’re going to tell.  In fact I’m curious if the MC WOULD tell anyone about what happened.  If you did, would you inevitably have to bring up how you were told your husband is a serial killer and necrophiliac?  Do you want to investigate that on your own at first?  Do you believe Ellen?  How will you greet a likely worried Jack when you get home?  How will you sleep in the same bed as him?  The MC is safe but nothing will be the same now.

I also REALLY love the CG for this ending.  Looking at Ellen, you can tell she seems to have now taken an even greater interest in you than ever before.  She’s almost become as obsessed with you know and she did with Jack (and you know how I feel about “obsession” if you read my Marcus post :P).  You two have had a very intimate experience now (not a good one, but I mean unique really).  And if the serial killer was fascinating to her, why wouldn’t the spouse who accepts said serial killer still after learning the truth be?  Ellen’s probably just stumbled upon the jackpot of interesting couples.  Wouldn’t really be surprised if it’s not the last you see of Ellen, and that’s actually pretty scary.

Wow yeah, Ellen’s awesome.  I liked interacting with her character and seeing how unpredictable or eerily calm she’d be.  That’s why I don’t know if I like Jack or her more.  The killer or the one obsessed with him.  They’re both not sane people, but I guess it’s more of which side is more to your tastes.  They’d win for me if Marcus didn’t exist.  I don’t know if rotworld’s written much more on Ellen, but I do know they’re a pretty good writer.  So go check out their stories and see what other characters they have.  I think Ellen gets an “A+” in character design and story for me.

That’s it!  I did all 5 and it was nice to finally get all my thoughts out.  Hope the I got all the typos, but I have a feeling I’ll have to comb through these again later to edit.  This was fun.  Hopefully more people give their opinions on these characters.  I’d love to read how everyone else reacted to each one.

[marvelousaddiction]

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

I was tagged by @pheonyxstorm

LAST: 

Drink: Last thing I drank was a coke, last alcoholic beverage was Gentlemen’s Jack (but I may have regular Jack tonight)

(btw Tay, try Irish Trashcan, optional but add strawberry sour straw candy)

 Phone Call: My momma lol 

Text Message: @ceobryce

Song you listened to:  Rammstein - Feuer Frei! (and Victorious a Breezy original)

Time I Cried: two tears in the shower, I missed the breakdown this time and I took care of myself so yeah...

HAVE YOU EVER: 

Dated someone twice: nope

Been cheated on: twice 

Kissed Someone and regretted it: yep, four people.....well....yeah four

Lost someone special: yep, some of them died, and one of them is still alive but I wish her the best still

been drunk and thrown up: yes, twice, but only a little bit each time  and I’ve never really had a hangover, only maybe a mild headache when I wake up, I barely notice it 

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: I’d like to say so 

Fallen Out of Love: no

Laughed Until You Cried: all the time like (almost) errday

Met Someone Who Changed You: no, not really, but people I have always had I’ve come to some realizations about leading to changes in myself, example, I drink sometimes now

Found Out Who your true friends are: mhm, I always constantly play it safe in this department because of my past

Found out someone was talking about me: honey, listen, people been talking about you since you came into this world and they gon’ talk about you after you out of it. (at least you're on their mind) 

GENERAL:

How many people in Tumblr do you know in real life?: @ceobryce @wolfsilverlight @leftzombiepenguin @brayamac @violet-soulkeeper17 @talonvictor @oneshoeshort (and Megan, I have to find her name and edit this lol)

Do you have any pets?: Yep. Dusty Leroy (my last name), Simba Sophia (my last name), Angel Clemingtine (my last name), Bobby Lee (my last name) and Loli (Lolli) Pop (my last name) 

Do you want to change your name? : First name,no, it made Papa proud I was named after him, Middle name, yes until this past june because I was the only kid of my dad’s kids (and grandkids) without the middle name Marie but in June something happened that changed my mind so I thanked my mom for naming me Irene. Last name, eventually lol, yknow marriage and shiz

What time did you wake up this morning: 6:00

What were you doing last night: laying in bed, talking to @browneyedhunter and ignoring what was going on outside my bedroom or trying with all my might and failing 

Name something you cannot wait for: Just one thing, other than actually starting my life (long ass story), tonight (giggidy), the black panther movie and april fools day to take a day trip to Raleigh and see Kevin Hart (if life allows) and down the line a little bit, to be a mom 

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: not to my recollection, but yes in my dreams, Tom Hiddleston is a amazing man 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: nothing really at this moment, i guess being a female has terrible timing 

Blood type: blood? red? 

Nickname: Nerd, Short Person, BabyGirl, Jess, Jessie, Jessie Jess, Angel, there are so many 

Relationship Status: Happy 

Zodiac Sign: Cancer (June 25)

Pronouns: She, her, I am a cis girl lol but I will proudly respond to Dude, Bro, Bruh, Broski

Favorite Show: Obviously Supernatural is number 1, top 3 are Supernatural, Sherlock, and probably Penny Dreadful (but I have many favorites)

College: Not yet, I took a placement test and such but I am trying to get things straight first. Fingers crossed, within the next year or so I can start. I took some CP/ college class in high-school, there was one, Physcology, where  the professor actually came and taught us and I did well in that also I think I made like a high Cor a B but with the history class they gave us a book, popped us in front of computers. I tried, I really did, but I also did something there that I never did in school before, I tried and couldn’t learn anything (that is when the computers actually worked) and it was just boring so I got fed up basically said fuck this shit and failed on purpose. My education currently is K4-graduating from high school with a diploma. I actually love learning so please don’t misunderstand, I hated school, but I still tried my best and did pretty well and never flunked a grade level or anything, I was also that person everyone hated for reminding teachers of homework when they forgot it because I was the one that, not exaggerating, had mental breakdowns doing it. In highschool there is/was a notorious teacher that everyone hated, literally, someone keyed his truck, but, he saw how hard I worked and such and he actually became like my best friend and I may have been a teacher’s pet but he and my other math teacher my senior year were my best friends. Okay long unnecessary rambling sorry 

Hair Color: brunette, naturally, will eventually be black I know for certain. However, I colored it black once years ago, and in highschool I bleached my bangs so they were blonde, about two years ago but longer I put blue where the blonde was and that faded to teal, then i put red streaks throughout my hair when that was gone. Its been natural for a long time 

Do you have a crush on someone: yes. celebrities, obviously, but there is one man on campus i sware i cant take my eyes off of lol. My babe,marie, and I have a whole private joke thing about it. He is known as Superman, you had to be there

What do you like about yourself: this one is really hard, honestly. It varies but I guess....I mean, my sweatshirt I am wearing now? that count? Oh! I can drink and not become my big sister, despite having to convince myself of that. It is complicated and my eyes too lol 

FIRSTS:

First Surgery: it was getting my tonsils taken out when i was like maybe 5 or 6

First Piercing: ears, although i was never really able to wear earrings because of a reaction but they are closed now. I’m really thinking about getting my belly button pierced

First Sport You joined: there was the time when I was little and wrestling my dad, but that career ended when I kicked his nose/mouth and they swole, and the time I played football as a baby at my moms old family church but I bit my evil cousin? do those count?

First vacation: I don’t know if I ever had a vacation but I know my first time leaving home for a trip we went to Virginia, then Pittsburgh PA, then Niagra Falls NY

First Pair of Sneakers: I am willing to bet were hand me downs or from dollar general or a thrift store

Right Now: 

Eating: Nothing at this second

Drinking: Nothing at this second but later Jack & Coke/soda  and going to taste green apple Crown Royal with sprite,supposedly tastes like Jolly ranchers 

I’m about to: respond to @browneyedhunter, shes been waiting while I typed all of this and hopefully tonight......uh giggidy 

Listening to: keys typing and Jimmy’s snoring behind me 

Want Kids: in the future, someday, yes, very much 

Get Married: maybe, I’ll see if life let’s me but people say Jimmy and I are married. By people I mean my 62 yr old parents and his grandad, and his mom 

Career: I really want one someday, but, we have talked, and we would both be alright with being a SAHM too. Right now, I don’t feel like I am doing my part despite what everyone says; but as long as I feel like I am doing that, I am good

SO TIREED!!! SHOULDERS HUUURURRTT 

Lips or Eyes: who’s?

Hugs or kisses: again, who are we talking about?

Shorter or tall: I am shorter than everyone, @emoryhemsworth knows what I mean since we are both 4′9

Older or Younger: I have a thing for older guys

Romantic or Spontaneous: both

Sensitive or loud: those things don’t always necessarily correlate 

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship. Unless it is another girl’ then I couldn’t do a relationship unless it was Poly

Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant af 

Have You Ever:  

Kissed a stranger: no, that is how disease happens. Unless...I guess Jimmy was technically a stranger when I met him and we kissed 

Drank hard liquor: the hardest thing I have found I actually like is whiskey or Irish Trashcan 

Lost Contacts/ glasses: nope

Sex on first date: believe it or not i have only ever done it with one person

Broken someone’s heart: I think I broke Faith’s heart when I told her true things about disney,childhood movies, fairytales etc 

Been arrested: no, my parents have though XD

turned someone down: nope

Fallen for a friend: Yup, wish her well but she co go screw herself or that sweet soulles-

DO YOU BELIEVE: 

In yourself: most of the time, no

Miracles: yes, because of I have lived through some, many of them 

Love at First sight: i guess 

Ive tagged people lol, I am done 

[ask-danganronpa-students]

My impressions of Danganronpa : Killing Harmony.

If you are fine with being spoiled or already know everything about the game then you can read this ^^

So! As I said here is what I thought of the game! I’m not really used to do game review so don’t expect too much! I’m going to talk about each chapter and then I will answer some of your questions ^^ Prologue : Really interesting, I liked how they started it by showing bits of all the previous game, really helped “hyping” the game. The story of the prologue was also really good like I was really into it and having some mysteries right from the beginning was a good idea! :)

I also was really happy to be able to play a female protagonist (poor naive me).

Chapter 1 :

Okay so. That chapter destroyed me. And I doubt I’m the only one xD

BUT. I was really not a big fan of the way we had been “tricked” into thinking that the protagonist for this game was a girl. Like with the rest of the game I learned to love Shuichi but damn. Let the girl be the main hero at least once.

Aaaand…Rantaro was one of the character I loved the most. And he was soooo interesting!! When I first saw him I was sure that he was going to be one of the last students alive. Boy was I wrong. I nearly stopped playing when I saw that he was THE FIRST victim. I understand why they did it but for me it’s still a BIG waste of potential. (Plus I’m still bitter that we don’t know his talent. Like he is supposed to be the Ulitimate Survivor but what was his talent in the previous killing game?) Kaede “murder” wasn’t that well thought but since it was more or less something decided at the last moment/day I guess it’s okay. Plus when it got explained I remember thinking “well she was still (un)lucky that it really fell on him and didn’t miss him”…Well…

Her execution…Damn. Poor Kaede…Like when she got dragged away and Shuichi was trying to grab her hand…My heart… And the last scene in her lab with the music finished destroying my heart.

Chapter 2 :

I liked this chapter just fine but to be honest the chapter 1 was soooo “big” that the chapter 2 seemed almost lacking.

I didn’t mind the way they brought back the “motive video” with the new twist. It was interesting. I laughed way too hard at the Bug Meeting XD Kukichi had the right idea once again but he really should have explained everything right from the beginning but well, he wouldn’t be him if he had done so haha! At first I found Kaito really obnoxious (and I thought he was going to be the killer when he asked me to meet him outside and then take off my jacket, like I thought he had stolen my room key and was going to see his motive) but he was really well written so I quickly started liking him ^^

Ryoma…I found him really interesting too so I was really sad to see him be the next victim. Especially the way/reason for his death…Like damn. He really needed a hug, not someone to murder him.

Kirumi was really smart, her murder was nearly perfect and even the way she tried to manipulate everyone after her trial… Also I couldn’t help but cheer for her when she ran away even if I knew that it was useless. And the CG we got when she was running for her life while saying that she wasn’t going to die…Damn… Her execution too…She tried so hard…And yet…

Chapter 3 :

Sooo…I liked Angie at first, she was cute and her sprites were really funny. But she really started creeped me out in chapter 2 and by the time we got to chapter 3 I was really hoping that she would be the next victim (yes, shame on me, but I liked the others farr better >w<) And when we saw the motive I was sooo happy! I was sure that Rantaro was going to come back! Because for me there was no way that he was really gone since he had so much potential (yes, I’m far too naive).

So when we discovered Angie body instead of being “oh no she is dead” I was more “couldn’t she at least resurrect him before dying?!”…Yes, I know, shame on me. But c’mon, Rantaro was one of my fave! (I hoped for his return until the last second of the game)

I think it was at the end of the previous chapter that we learned Maki talent and if at first the way she acted reminded me a bit too much of Kirigiri the way she was developped was really good and I liked her more and more with every chapter!

Plus the scene where Kaito hugs her bc he is afraid was just too cute haha!

Back to the murders! When Korekiyo suggested to do a seance and said that it would have to be pitch black and be into one of the three room I knew right away that one new murder was going to happen. But I thought that Kiyo was the one who was going to die (and that Kaito would be the killer). Until I heard Tenko said that she would do it and saying all those things to Himiko. At that point she had so much death flags around her that there was no way that could survive. I didn’t like her that much at first but chapter 2 (trial) and chapter 3 really made me like her so I was sad to know that she was going to be killed.

Also am I the only one who saw a lot of commun things between Himiko/Tenko and Saionji/Mahiru? And between the 3rd chapter’s murder(er) of sdr2 and v3?

I don’t have much to say about the trial appart…wtf Korekiyo!?

The CG of Kiyo and his sister with the little * was funny though XD

I was pretty neutral about him (hadn’t seen a lot of his FTE) and his trial didn’t really made me feel pity for him so I wasn’t too sad that he got executed.

I’m still really curious about how a character could have been brought back to life…

Chapter 4 :

The concept of this chapter was really interesting!! I’m not going to lie I was a bit disappointed with how they treated Miu, she was supposed to be a genius but she hadn’t been really useful until that moment. And even when she talked in trial she mostly said stupid/dirty things.

Also I couldn’t help but think that most of the things she did build was the same things that Souda could have done so I would have liked to see more special things about her ^^

But her idea for the murder was just really good. Her only mistake was to target Ouma. He is the smartest character of the game. Don’t pull anything on him. He WILL know. And he did and was able to act against it.

Let’s talk about the trial. I really liked how it went. The way Kokichi spilled everything because people were telling him that the truth was always better, just to show them how terrible the truth can be. One of the part that really made me stop for a second was the moment everyone was telling him to stop harrassing Gonta and he just said something like “oh, but you were all fine with ganging up on me earlier?”. He had a lot of moments like this when he just become serious and says things that make you think and I loved it.

About Gonta. Okay…Hear me out. How cool would it have been if Gonta had actually done all this by himself and was just pretending to be “stupid” since the beginning but was in fact a bit like Celeste (in the way that he was fooling everyone and waiting for the right time)

Don’t misunderstand, I love Gonta, got heartbroken over his crying sprites/voice but at one point during his trial I was like “omg don’t tell me that he his actually evil!? No way!!” and yeah, he wasn’t.

I’m really bad with bugs (sorry Gonta) so his execution was even worse for me than it would have been with something else.

Also I remember being really curious about the motive and frustrated that AI Gonta wouldn’t say anything x)

Chapter 5:

Can you just imagine how different the story would have been if Miu had trusted the others with her inventions? Just…Why, Miu??

So…I know a lot of you love Kaito and I do too but I was really hoping during all the chapter that he was the one who had died. Of course things never go as I want to.

Once again we were able to see how smart Kokichi was and the way we were able to glimpse a bit at his true feelings was, well…At least we got something out of his death T_T

And can we talk about his death? Out of all the death since the beginning of the DR games I think it was one of the most horrible.

To be honest when we saw the moment where Kaito told Maki to run and that he was going to do something I thought that he was going to kill himself. That way Maki wouldn’t have been the blackened and no one else would be executed. I also thought that Kukichi had done this to his body so it would be “less boring”. Of course it couldn’t have been so easy.

Can you even imagine the inteligence of Kokichi though? He was able to write a whole scenario for what would happen during the trial? Who could have done that??

Kaito’s execution…Well in your face Monokuma! Congrats Kaito! I wasn’t sad for him even if I really liked him because he was able to go out with a bang, like a true hero.

Also Maki’s confession and teary sprite…My heart…

Chapter 6:

Sooo…I knew that something was going to happen with Keebo when we saw that he got hurt during Kaito’s execution…But I didn’t expect that XD

But he was badass.

I really like the exploring (Kokichi’s bedroom and lab please) and the concept of “time left”. Plus finally knowing more about Rantaro was a good thing.

For the trial and the big reveal……I’m not a big fan? Like I don’t know the direction the game took was a bit too “breaking the fourth wall” and a bit too insisting on the whole “this is the last game”. Tsumugi was really good as a mastermind though, I didn’t expect it at all, and especially not like that!

But, but. I’m going with the last suggestion Shuichi made : that most of the thing they remember are in fact true. Let me explain.

Tsumugi said that the “light” put informations/new memories into your brain. But for me it’s more likely that it could only overwrite/modify memories. There is no way that it was able to create Talent. And just thinking that you have a talent doesn’t make you suddenly talented. And we were able to see with multiple characters (like Miu) that they were indeed true Ultimate. Plus creating a personality doesn’t give you an illness, or make you fall in love (especially since it didn’t happen right away). Also I get that they were suposed to be all fan of the game but how were they able to have all this technology (like Monokuma) if it was really just a game? So I can’t say for sure what is true and false right now because IT IS complicated but for me they were real Ultimate and most of their personalities/memories were true.

Next…Noooo Keebo!! Not you too!!

In your face Tsumugi! Bye, bye Monokuma (he made me laugh so much during the trial, especially when he said things like “you can’t end this game…Or I’ll be out of job!” and “Everyone love me, I can even become like this *become ultra muscular*)

I thought the game was going to end with an open-ending like “are they still alive?” but I’m glad it didn’t. But damn, only 3 survivors? And nearly all of my fave are dead…

Soooo that’s all for my opinion on each chapter, I probably forgot a lot of things but you know most of it! Now I’ll try to answer questions I got about the game!

Who are my favorites characters?

With how I talked about him that will surprise absolutely no one but : Kokichi!

He is not the only one though, in no particular order: Rantaro, Keebo, Maki, Shuichi, Kaede, Tenko.

Will I play the V3 characters?

Yes! I love them so much that I absolutely want to play them. But I have a few things to think about ;

On this blog or another? Having them all on this blog might be a bit too much, don’t you think? 16 more characters and yeah I don’t want to only play the survivors….Let me know what you think about it!

How? By that I mean what story can I do that will let them be on a blog and all alive? I can go with them having been put on a simulation too like the dr2 cast or I can make it so as if all the death weren’t real and they were in fact still all keeped alive somewhere (one of the only way I could see the resurrection that should have happened in chapter 2 work), maybe they were put in a simulation where they really “experimented” their death. Or I can go with the story of the bonus mode (that it was for a love show and not a killing game) but that would take away a lot of things…

Do you ship some of the characters?

If you know me then you know that yes, of course I do XD

Shuichi x Kaede (the FTE and the scene at the love hotel made me ship it even more)

Kaito x Maki

Gonta x Tsumugi (before knowing that Tsumugi was the mastermind, now I don’t know if I still ship them)

Himiko x Tenko

Keebo x Kokichi / Kokichi x Rantaro (I was shipping those two before the game and the really few things that happened between them still make me ship them, like how Kokichi called Rantaro “my dearest” when he found him dead or how he kept his statue in his bedroom) So I don’t know with who I ship Kokichi x)

And I think that’s all! Tell me if I forgot something!

-mod lili

[izartn]

Reblogging with more thoughts because i wrote the above deep into the night after coming home from the midnight showing so i wasn’t the most coherent and managed to critic what i meant to leave for today.

On good news, I managed to know that Duende is Sprite in English; amazing guy with Thena was Gilgamesh (also I liked his chara but I’m a bit >-> about the Gilgamesh legend given it seems Enkidu was substituted for one of the Deviants? But that’s nothing to do with the quality of his arc and more me being a myth nerd), and also techno-family guy was Phastos? I somehow hear him named as Faustus in Spanish xD

Going on with the true commentary-review lol: Elaborating on Sersi who is not Cersei, but Sersi written like so in Spanish sounds like sexy mangled by an Andalusian, so I will keep writing Cersei with the understanding this is a different chara with none of the fault of the og!Cersei. Ok? Ok. So Cersei caught my interest at the start? Her powers reminded me of Fullmetal Alchemist and they’re pretty amazing, but she personally lost me. I think I got what they were trying to do with her chara; a woman leader overshadowed by her old lover who had to learn to choose for herseld and lead others, a new turn around of the reluctant hero... But she came across very muted and distant and. Well. Too passive for my tastes. I liked her well enough but I was much more entertained by, like, evryone else. Including her antagonistic ex with complex but also clear motivations who is still, btwen murdering their boss and menacing everyone including her, unable to kill or stop her when it counts and ends up helping her goals anyway. I find pretty terrible that despite calling bullshit to the screen anytime he was being his dumbass self I still came out with more of a sense on Ikaris as a person than Cersei. That’s... not great for your fem protagonist. Although all things considered like I said, she was a solid concept. And her pacifism was very refreshing, her being asian over all of the above very cool, but i just didn’t vibe with her chara.

Moving on to others.... Uhm. Druig and his cult(?)(it was totally a cult wasn’t it? ot a commune-cult i guess?) in the middle of the amazon was somewhat unexpect but understable, too? He was super done with violence and went, “so I’m absconding with these humans I’ve taken a like to and we’re gonna live in peace and the rest of you can go to shit I can’t anymore.” I mean, I expected him to be kind of in the moving trying to meedle on conflicts or something, but I guess by then he had already realised it was an impossible task and centered himself on doing what he could for his little pocket of the world. Which is why the aftermath of the attack of the Deviants moving so rappidly for them... I got stuck on those poor people, and how will they ever manage to transition into a normal life without him. Not that it’s bad a mind controlling demigod isn’t monitoring their every movement or thought, but is a super big change (giants monster et all) that blew over super quickly and then we don’t see him worry or reflect on that anymore.... Yes this is a film with tons of characters, so I understand why, but it got stuck in my head.... I feel Druig was stuck in a super awkwards middle land of feeling very much superior to humans bc of his powers and also feeling very protective of them bc of the same, so it lead to. Well, the film situation.

But also his and Makkari lil moments and dynamic was golden! I loved it. You really get a sense of these two as being both aloof and appreciative in different ways of humans and also more chillax about the whole mission.... Although Makkari waiting by herself on the ship for the others to everyone go together home ;_; What a woman!!! (Also, it’s very funny to me that apparently she went outside with regularity to like, get herself books, and art, and all other kind of trinkets, as shes wont to do, and managed to avoid everything electronic, lol.) But yeah. And when she went all furious to hit on shitty Ikaris, my friend and I were all, “YAS, teach him to not touch other people loved ones!!!”Also it seems like Makkari’s actress is 43? She’s looks so young and she’s so pretty!!!

Re: Phastos. Umm. His moment in Hiroshima was. As tasteful as it can be coming from someone heavily coded as one of those american scientists so ashamed of having collaborated on Proyect Manhattan, although I don’t think for a second he was there, I think he was clearly talking about him regretting guiding humanity technologic evolution in general. The whole sequence still felt a bit “eh” coming from an USA studio. Although it was very nice seeing them state clearly what a human horror and mistake it was. Didn’t get a feeling of disrespect or anything, just you know, sensible subject. Leaving that aside, very happy he was apparently married to another man and with a kid? Yay, representation?! (also a lot of poc rec in general in this one, i liked to see that too) One of these days it’d be between two mains charas who also don’t need to be super married and with a kid but hey, progress! And Phastos storyline was guided by a love for humanity in general so he was a nice parallel to Cersei, the protag, and also him beating and immobilising Ikaris with his science power (which was super pretty to see) was great, although I still remain a bit unconvinced about the whole setting down happily with humans in general for the Eternals. They’re 7000+ aliens/robots, but that’s my inner scapist fantasy lover talking lmfao. Better to love and live than be alone and just survive.

Also on Sprite, again: very happy nothing weird happened with her and Ikaris, most of all for the actress, and also, it was completely unnecessary... Her powers and role as the, we’ll say, potentiator of humanity’s imagination and creativity was not lost on me, and her maestry with illusions was nicely nicely done. As a writer loved all those implications. Still think hers was a shitty ending, and the traition bit left me cold, too, although I got it. But I loved Sprite first appearence in screen (when I thought she was a boy, and really the gnc look was pretty great overall, although a bit “eh” that it was conflated with her not growing up instead of, you know, because she likes the androginy. using she/her bc those were her pronouns and her arc is very much tied to it? in some uncomfortable ways? but i totally support other headcanons) and sadly by the end I was very meh on her. Although the swinging back and forth between ancient and childish was nice! What a terrible dicotonomy.I get why she wanted an adult body I still don’t get why she needed to be human and mortal for it when even Phastos with a human hushband and child he will eventually outlive doesn’t show an iota of wanting to be human.

Also everybody battle clothes were very pretty and they each had special symbolism? I couldn’t get everyone’s on the cinema but I’ll have to search a bit more on it. Still, pretty clothes = my grand worth nothing approval.

The meta commentary/self-awareness was excessive as always with Marvel, although a bit more tasteful than in other of their movies, (that superman comment lol, although it’s true dc was very present in my head when i saw ikaris flying and buring things with his eyes lol) and i loved how it took its time with everyone both in the past and the present! There’s a lot of stories there lost to the time, that I would love to see portrayed on fic. They could virtually be anywhere on Earth at any given time in history except for the few hard canon time-locations, it’s doing great things to my imagination. (A bit how I feel after watching The Old Guard, Good Omens or Hetalia, but even more fantasy-science fiction lol) (also how some relationships are left ambiguous, too!!!)

So I think I’ve said everyhting I wanted until now? If I want to say more later I’ll reblog again.

Good movie, very refreshing compared to the shit marvel has been doing lately, I still don’t trust nor will trust them or Disney but this is a good direction to be going in. For an action superhero movie the characterization was really nice!

PD: So Eros was Harry Styles? Who would have know, not me, I thought for a few moments he was Thomas Brodie-Sangster without the super young face, but well I was never a 1D fan nor do I like his music so eh. I don’t care. Good on him if that’s what he wants? To all those annoyed people bc Harry isn’t a true actor and Disney is being shitty. Dear anons of the net: when has Disney not been specially shitty this past decade?

So I’m out.

SPOILERS

Just saw the eternals on the cinema despite promising myself not to go to any more marvel movies and hey it seems they can learn a little. For an action movie of Disney it was pretty decent (although there a few things at the end that are like ew) ( I'll explain in a reblog tomorrow) and although cersei(?) (And really what was it with game of thrones actors and sound in this movie) was super boring as a main chara the rest of the charas made up for it.... And I have really questionable taste bc my faves in terms of pure id was druig and then elf(?)/duende. Also tech guy but that's clearly good taste, and thena was suitably mystical although I really disliked how her partner died. Although the fact that some of those partnerships nature is left ambiguous was something I loved! For qpr and besties aro headcanons of course. And yeah the end with the power of love winning ikaris over was very well done... Not his death or supposed death though, that was a waste. How can he redeem himself if he commits suicide? Why does duende became human? That was the yikeist thing I've watche don a while. She's still 7000+ years old, only now she has to relate with stupid teen humans at school and not have access to either her family or her powers, that have been with her for millennia just for the chance to settle down with someone mediocre who will never be able of truly understanding her. I'm furious. Just age her body up and keep her eternal omg, cersei you had all the powers for a hot minute there. I can't with Disney insistence in a ciheteronormative life being the end all of things to wish foe. Also got the inkling that cersei and ikaris saw duende as like, their charge or something and it was very yikes. Not bc any anti bullshit but for the difference in perspectives between the charas of their relationships to one another. Still. It was an entertaining movie! Revved for passing the time; you could watch it at home for free!!

[saranel]

Tagging @mags-duranb, who asked (thank you for the interest btw, it was super sweet. Also, I love your art <3333) :)  I was gonna make a post anyway, but I wanted it to be a timeline photoset hence why I’m not replying directly.

I thought it was about time I gave you guys a nice long update on the purrito, since we have now officially reached 2 months of age as of yesterday!

To answer the requester’s question, SHE is doing just fine xD  That’s right, when we visited the vet about a week ago for the second round of shots, we got visible proof (or rather lack thereof) that we have a little girl in our hands.  This was only a couple of days before I made an insta post announcing the official name, because of course it was. Way to embarass me, kiddo.

So I’d like to introduce you all to Buffy, because hello, so dang pretty, look at that last pic that was taken only yesterday, and she’s also pretty fearless and resourceful, though not necessarily highly intelligent xD  Not a vampire slayer, but an ankle slayer for sure.  I generally post updates on her every couple of days on instagram.

Oh, and, just as a final note on the whole name thing, yes, we still call her purrito from time to time, as well as a thousand other nicknames ;) 

So! On to the update (and an extra... suprise?¿¿??) below the cut:

Buffy’s issues with food have gotten a lot better.  She used to be vicious about meals, meowing and pleading hours before her feeding time.  At first we thought we were perhaps feeding her too little, so we followed the general advice everyone gives re: how much to feed kittens, which is to say we just let her eat her fill.  She did not stop until her belly was so distended I had to physically drag her bowl away.  So we decided to slowly increase her intake whenever we saw she started to get skinny.  Which, given her Longcat status, was so. damn. OFTEN.  Seriously, if she looks malnourished in some pics, I assure you she’s not.  She just grows and grows like a damn weed.

Lately, however, since her weight has reached a healthy plateau, she’s gotten much better about food.  No screaming, no scratching, and she doesn’t really complain before feeding time anymore.  She still follows us whenever we dare visit the kitchen, but hey, it could be worse xD

Something I’ve never mentioned here is that when we first found her, her whiskers were very short and stubby, which we originally attributed to her being very young.  But eventually, we noticed that not only were her brow whiskers much longer, there was a lone whisker next to the stubby ones that was regular-sized, and the shorter ones looked almost... manually cut, if that wakes sense.  A bit of research led us to find out that sometimes, littermates may do this to a runt (bite them off) when they’re competing for mom’s milk, which... not only makes my heart ache for our little buddy, it starts to put her whole attitude toward food into perspective.

Long story short, we were prepared for the possibility that she may forever have issues with food, but she’s been improving constantly.

Other than the food issue, Buffy has grown into a happy, healthy kitty :) She’s up to date on her shots, and we took her to the vet only last week where we got nothing but good news.  

She’s very attached to us, especially me since I work from home and basically see her all day, and though she doesn’t complain and yowl when she’s left alone, she is super cuddly when we return home.  

Given her age, she’s incredibly playful to the point that we get more exhausted playing with her than she does xD She likes climbing all over the place and exploring everything within reach, always looking for new ‘lairs’ and stuffing her butt into every nook and cranny, she loves to chew on cables (which has led us to do some highly creative concealing) and often engages in what we call ‘Crab Dancing’ when she gets excited/territorial during playtime:

( I *****MAY***** have edited this.  Slightly.  For my own amusement.  It’s kinda soporific if you stare at it for too long)

We were glad to see she takes to new (human) acquaintances very well, and she hasn’t (yet) started wreaking havoc in our apartment.  She, has, however,  gotten very bitey during playtime, and it’s ALWAYS playtime, so we’re trying to encourage her to bite on toys instead of our fingers: it’s a sloooooooooow process.  There’s also the possibility that she’s teething a bit early so she’s just constantly looking for relief.  We’ve bought her a few special chew toys that should arrive shortly, and hopefully they’ll help.  Even if it’s still early for her, hey, new toys, amirite? xD

Still, she never lashes out to us in anger/anxiety, not even when we gave her a bath where she was visibly distressed (yes, I know it’s not necessary for cats, but we’d never cleaned her with anything but pet wipes since we rescued her; she needed at least one) and yet she never tried to scratch or bite us.  TL;DR she’s mischievous, but not aggressive outside of playtime.

She’s super long for her age and will most likely be a pretty long kitty when she reaches maturity.  Seriously, y’all, Longcat 2.0:

( USB stick for size comparison, lol )

I’m still bummed my theory that she was part Van doesn’t seem to be true (in my defense, she has something very similar to the characteristic Van spot on her nape!), but hey, less shedding xD She also has a permanent bald spot on her spine now (as we knew she would), where the vet had given her that shot that saved her life back when she got sick.

She’s a sweet little doofus, who thinks she’s really a parrot and likes to perch on our shoulder, and meows the whole time I’m in the kitchen because how dare someone in this household eat when she’s not eating too, and when I ignore her grey-green supplicating eyes she just curls up over my foot while I wash the dishes, and she constantly gets tangled up in our legs and waits for us behind closed doors, and she’s a friggin’ Duracell battery who does.not.tire, and she  tosses half the litter out when she digs, and she loves to take naps with us cuddled right over our chests so our heartbeat can lull her to sleep, and we love her.

Here’s to the next two months :)

Size comparison below, using my hand in both pics.  Then and now :)

Addendum:

Edit: You can keep on reading, but the story has a sad ending, unfortunately :(  

The above was the post I had prepared and was going to post yesterday on Buffy’s 2 month ‘birthday,’ so I’ve left it intact.  However, I would be remiss if I didn’t add this latest development:

For a while now, we’ve been discussing how to deal with Buffy’s inexhaustible energy levels, because we do have other responsibilities, all of whom also require a good night’s sleep, which as you may imagine, has been a bit rare lately.  There’s this saying that the only one who can keep up with a kitten is another kitten, but we were very reluctant to adopt another one, since we’re currently dealing with an imminent move and we weren’t sure if we could even afford it.

Well...................

I found and rescued Buffy.  My partner found and rescued this little guy yesterday:

Five things here:

1) NO THIS WAS NOT PLANNED THIS IS SO BEYOND UNPLANNED I’M WFSJKLSDFJSKDHFSDKJ

2) MY PARTNER DIDN’T EVEN FIND HIM IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD HE WAS VISITING HIS MOM ASJKFDHLSADGHFDDFAS

3) WE SERIOUSLY DON’T KNOW IF WE’RE KEEPING HIM.  SERIOUSLY.L

4) YEAH I KNOW YOU CAN’T REALLY SEE MUCH LMAO EVEN HIS WHISKERS ARE BLACK JFC BUT I DIDN’T WANNA SCARE HIM SO I DIDN’T USE FLASH

5) 31 FUCKIN YEARS WITH NO KITTENS AND NOW TWQO, TWO KITTENS WTFFFFFFFF ITS RAINING KITTENS PRAISE BE TO BASTET i guess?? wtffffffffff

*breathes into a paper bag*

I’m going to be even more reluctant to make any grand claims than I was when we found Buffy, because this little dude (this one is a dude, indeed) is in pretty bad shape.  Though she’d been abandoned, Buffy was very clean and hale when we found her, even if she was a bit small and underfed.  

This one though... poor little soot sprite is all skin and bones, he was flea-ridden until we took him to the vet, he’s filthy, he’s terrified and has a bum leg from some sort of accident.  We didn’t even have a plan yesterday when my partner found him, but we figured since we had a lot of leftover milk powder and kitten pate from Buffy, we might as well feed up this little orphan. 

It took some coaxing with a syringe, but he got a bit of milk down which got his appetite going and we were able to feed him some pate.  He actually ate a fair bit, which is encouraging.  We know for a fact he was abandoned by his mom, btw, she’s still roaming around the neighborhood but refusing to tend to him since he’s already older than 4 weeks (maybe 1,5 month old max).  Just two weeks younger than Buffy.  After he got some food down, we took him to our vet, who was reserved but cautiously optimistic even for the leg.  He made us no promises, of course, and he advised we prepare ourselves for the possibility that he might not make it.

We’ve now had him for just under a day and he’s been improving.  He was very scared at first, hissy when I went near him, and the first time I fed him at home, the new environment had stressed him out to the point that I had to use a syringe again to get him to eat.  And yeah, we’ve had to keep him isolated ofc to protect Buffy (and him, omg, she’s literally twice his size in weight, no exaggeration, and most likely a social dunce with other kittes, she would destroy him).  I’ll be able to give him a bath tomorrow afternoon after the 48hr clock on the flea medicine runs out, which is yet another reason we had to isolate him.  Today, he’s been getting less and less reserved around me and he hasn’t needed to be force fed once, he’s been downing pate like no-one’s business.  I weighed him earlier and found he’d gained about 40-50 grams, a number I offer cautiously as both weighings at the vet and today aren’t entirely accurate, because squirmy kitty.  Still, he’s gained weight, even if only a little.   

Buffy can tell something’s up, since we basically had to move her litterbox and feeding area and haven’t let her in that room since.  It’s been... an adjustment xD But she bounces back admirably fast, she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the change; she’s just curious to discover what we’re hiding from her, obviously.  She’s probably heard him meowing, too.

We honestly have no clue what we’ll do with him.  Taking it one day at a time.  He might not make it at all, and even if he does, he may never get along with Buffy, in which case we’ll have to give him away for both their sakes.  I’m not gonna lie, money is a concern.  Research tells me at their age and beyond the cost isn’t prohibiting, not even double that of a single cat.  So if he doesn’t require any costly meds, we can afford him, especially since Buffy can now eat dry food (and so will he in a couple of weeks).  This, again, is all hinging on a) him not having any serious, contagious illnesses, and b) him and Buffy getting along.  In the long run, we know it would be way better for Buffy to have a companion to play and cuddle with, but we have to be realistic and prepare for the worst for now.

Soot sprite is a little cutie, he has the softest, most plaintive meow and there’s even hope for his little leg down the road (though honestly, that’s the last thing that concerns us; even in his current state, he’s perfectly mobile).  His eyes, too, should get better with time if he grows healthier. 

SO WE’LL SEE.  RN I am beyond stressed and reserved, but also kinda hopeful. *sigh*