#Yes I have many things you can do for me Donnie

[tmntxthings]

一∑Moth to a Flame・゜・。

author’s notes: this is my entry for @dancingdonatello ‘s competition :D this has been sm fun and I can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories!!!

prompt: "You like them...more? Is that it? Am I the second choice?" "That's not true..." "Then choose me. Choose us."

warnings: angst, situation-ship, aged-up characters, college au, alcohol consumption, jealousy, yandere tendencies? cliffhanger

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Donnie didn’t know how much more he could take. His mind was simultaneously all over the place and singularly focused on one thing. You.

~

Mutants and yokai kind alike have been out for years. So in the ‘town’ he and his brothers grew up in, they finally came to be free from the shadows. As free as heroes can be at least. They still needed to be a bit secretive on where they lived, in case of revenge-seeking villains.

But with mutants out on the surface, New York had grown accustom to them. Well, as accustom as they can be…

Donnie has met many people. He’s been able to attend college. Mostly online. But he finds the time to attend some evening classes in person. He met you. A floundering classmate in need of assistance.

Usually Donnie can find an excuse to get out of helping every poor soul that crosses his path. That’s what the professors are for. The librarians. Hell the student mentors! But with you… he just couldn’t resist.

The study sessions were long. But in the end you were able to pass, “All thanks to you Dee!!” You had cheered shoving your research paper into his face for him to appraise your passing grade. Barely passing, but it showed your improvement nonetheless.

He had been about to tease you of this. Three months of his help and you hardly grazed by?! But the thought was cut short as you pulled the papers away from his face and up you jumped.

Arms going around his neck and squealing your joy. He was frozen for a millisecond before his arms twitched into motion. His hands going around your back, holding you. That was the first time you had initiated such skin-ship.

Sure there had been the occasional touching of hands, passing laptops, books and the like back and forth. There had even been moments of playful touch, nudging his arm with your elbow for his odd choice in coffee. A tap above his glasses when he got too focused on his own work to answer your sporadic questions.

The hug didn’t last very long in terms of time. Seconds merely. But it made a lastly impression on Donnie. With the class over, you had no other reason to see him again. The prospect had Donnie fumbling to invite you out, to do anything to prolong such an ending to this blooming relationship.

“What classes are you taking next semester?” He had asked. You promised to text him the list, already having to dash off for one last exam.

He worried that would be the end.

Thankfully it wasn’t. You texted him later that evening, telling him all about the rest of your day as well as the list per his request. Unfortunately the two of you didn’t share any other classes. And it seemed unlikely for the future as well, the two of you were on diverging paths. Donnie despaired.

But you found reasons to message him. By the time the next semester rolled around the two of you were study partners, no matter the subject. Donnie would help if he could, and usually he was able. But there was a shift in the relationship. Outings to the library and other study areas changed to coffee shops. Then to your place. It only felt natural to invite you over to his.

Preparations were put in place. As were warnings “Yes, I do live in a sewer with my brothers and dad.” And “No it doesn’t reek of waste or garbage.” And “Yes there is one rat actually, my dear Papa.”

You took it all in stride. The introductions to his family went as well as they ever did. Friends. The two of you were officially friends. Donnie couldn’t be happier. With such a title he took more initiative with online contact. His messages would ramble on, sprinkled with pictures and videos.

Semesters continued to pass by and the bond between the two of you only grew. In turn, with more trips to his home, you became friends with his brothers. With April. It was just natural.

And then there was graduation. A celebration was in order. Four years, you had been in his life for four years and he couldn’t imagine it without you. The plan was to dress to the nines, and go out on the ‘town’! Drinking and dancing.

Of course, his brothers were invited as well as a few of your other friends. Donnie was no stranger to clubbing. The bar scene had become somewhat of a regular occurrence once his friendship with you was solidified.

You liked to go out. You liked music. He obliged on a few occasions to be your dancing partner and thus every time after it was his official label. Donnie was adverse to the huge crowds. It didn’t offer much room for dancing, but he’d endure it for you. With you in his arms it all seemed bearable. The music that was so loud it thumped in his plastron. The heat in the room percolating from the sheer number of bodies. Even the taste of alcohol, on the very, very rare occasion you got him to drink.

It always tasted horrible. No matter the different shots or mixed cocktails. God forbid a beer. You had pushed all sorts of these beverages on him, eyes crinkling up at him with amusement as his beak wrinkled from disgust.

Those nights with alcohol involved always ended strangely. Your touch would light him up from the inside. He’d want to hold you closer, lean in as far as you’d let him. Pull at your waist, dig his fingers into your hips during the last dance before the two of you had to part for the night. Those nights ended with kisses.

And by the next day you would never talk about them. So he didn’t either. Even as his murky memory of all other events seemed to part with clarity for how you had panted heat into his mouth. He’d flush dark green at just the thought and have to swallow the spit that pooled in his mouth.

This had happened a handful of times. The kissing. And with no communication whatsoever afterwards it put Donnie on edge. He wondered why it happened at all if you didn’t want to acknowledge the deed once it was done. He wondered about what it said on account of his own self worth for him to continue to let it happen.

To look forward to nights out. To nights you pushed a shot glass his way. To want your lips on his by the end of it all.

So with this big celebration, Donnie was expecting the same routine if only highlighted by the fact that both of you were now graduates. He’d be your dance partner. The two of you would spin for an hour or two, or however long you wanted. And he’d order himself a drink this time. One that he found slightly bearable than the rest.

Only, that wasn’t what was happening. Drink in hand? Sure. Your hand in his other? No. He was grumbling over at the bar shooting hateful daggers where you resided on the dance floor. You were dancing with Leo.

Donnie grimaced as he took a long hard sip. It was like acid in his mouth. Donnie didn’t know how much more he could take. His mind was simultaneously all over the place and singularly focused on one thing. You.

You laughing as Leo twirled you around. How wrong it felt to watch your arms go up and around his brother’s neck. Donnie was a better dancer. He knew in his soul that he could beat Leo in any category. Waltz, disco, salsa, you name it, Donnie could dance it. But his prowess didn’t seem to matter. Which only further incensed him. Why were you doing this? How could you possibly allow Nardo to take his place? His rightful role. Donnie was supposed to be your dance partner. And the only time you were allowed to dance with another was whenever he deigned to skip such an outing.

He was here. Dressed in an aubergine suit. Jacket button undone. And his black dress shirt was unbuttoned as well. Three buttons plucked, showing off too much skin in his opinion for such a crowd. But he had been feeling flirty. Flirty for someone who wasn’t even glancing his way.

Donnie fumed once more. Cursing in his mind as he lifted his drink and threw his head back. Maybe the taste would kill him. His eyes squeezed shut as the liquid poured down his throat and he tried not to gag. Bad decision.

When his eyes reopened it couldn’t have been at a worse moment. Leo was dipping you, his face leaning dangerously close to yours, his hand snug on your waist. Leo said something in your ear.

Maybe it was the lighting. Maybe it was the heat. But when Donnie saw your darkened cheeks, he couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He stormed to the dance floor. Yanking Leo’s hand away from your body once you were upright.

“What’s up hermano?” Leo’s smile was grating. Donnie had to force himself not to snarl. He took your hand and pulled you after him. Leaving Leo. Leaving this place. He had to get out of here now.

“Donnie?!” You called out over the music. But you didn’t pull away. You let him lead you out of the club. Out on the sidewalk, then off to the alleyway.

“Is everything okay?” You asked once he finally stopped. When he turned to look down at you, your eyebrows were creased with worry. Lips pulled into a line. Donnie was cracking. He couldn’t do this any longer. Did you like Leo? Did you want a ‘face man’? Was he not enough anymore? Was he being replaced? The thoughts were suffocating him and he pulled you to his plastron, backing you into the building wall simultaneously.

“I’m here, but Dee you’ve gotta say something, I’m getting worried..” You mumbled into his clothes. Your arms going around Donnie’s shell, petting over his jacket. Offering him comfort. It wasn’t enough. He huffed his frustration.

“Should I go get your brother?”

It was the wrong thing to say. And this time he did snarl.

“No.”

Your hands froze. Falling back down to your sides. You’d never heard him so angry before. He couldn’t find it within himself to care at the moment. His displeasure written all over his face as you looked up at him.

“What’s going on?”

And Donnie remembered himself thinking that so many times with you. As you had took his breath away. And then again when you pretended like you couldn’t recall ever doing so.

“Don-“

He leaned down. Capturing your lips. Kissing you like you did to him. Only where you had made him breathless, this seemed to have the opposite effect. You puffed up. Bristling in his arms as you tried shoving him away.

It hurt.

He was much stronger than you. He could overpower you easily. But your push was like a blow to the plastron. He staggered back, all anger leaving him. A husk as he squeezed his fists shut, head hanging down as you berated him.

“What the hell was that?! Are you drunk?? Donnie what is going on? If you don’t fucking say something right now, I swear to god,”

“I don’t know!” He shouted back and it was enough to quiet you.

From there it was as if his mouth couldn’t be stopped. “I don’t know! I thought this was what we did. I didn’t hallucinate those three times you kissed me. Don’t deny it any longer!” He was heaving, face coming up to stare accusingly at you.

Your lips pressed together in a thin line.

“You kissed me! Drunkenly, but it was still there. And I can’t forget. I can’t pretend they never happened. I don’t know how you can.” His hands were in motion as he ranted. Throwing them out with the building of emotion.

“So I thought tonight would be no different. We’d get drunk. We’d dance. And we’d kiss! I want all of that. Even though I’d do it without the alcohol.” His voice cracked towards the end. But he continued to push on.

“But you danced with him. So I went and got drunk enough for the both of us.” He felt pathetic admitting this out loud. He staggered forward, unable to remain so far apart. Despite you having pushed him away. He was just a moth to your flame. He’d let himself be burnt.

“You like him more?” He asked in a voice so low it practically went unheard. His hand came up, a finger tracing down the side of your cheek.

“Is that it? Am I the second choice?” His lids lowered in time as he ran out of skin to skim. His hand fell away from your face but he had crowded you close to the wall once more. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.

“That’s not true.” You exasperated. But that hardly cleared up anything for him. If that was the case then what were you doing dancing with his brother and not him? Why couldn’t he kiss you? Why were the both of you still pretending to be friends?

“Then pick me. Choose me.” Donnie pleaded. He didn’t care how needy it sounded. He’d do whatever it took. Get down on his knees if he had to. Because you had become a part of his life four years ago. Four years of a presence he didn’t know he needed. Up until it was far too late. And now there was no turning back. He’d be damned if he let you get away.

[yourlocalartsonist]

MONTHLY MFIP UPDATE✨✨

9/24 | Month 2 | Next Month | Month 1

Hey folks 🦐 I finally got the chance to make this month’s MFIP Update cuz god damn life was kicking my ass. College is fine for the most part tbh, just a lot of reading and writing cuz of the specific classes I chose. HOWEVER I have 💥FUCKING PMDD💥 so um skill issue on my part but it’s why I’ve been kinda exhausted as shit this week and was late with the update so my bad folks! (Also for more info on PMDD, click here! I don’t wanna spend this post yapping about it but wanted to leave a resource to spread awareness just in case :3). Also, Imma be tagging some of y'all who have been reading/supporting MFIP consistently just for this post, so yk you guys actually know these updates exist. I was gonna do that for the first ever update but as with many things, I forgor, so I'm doing it now! They’re supposed to come out on the 18th of every month, but yk sometimes life happens and I’m a lil late. It won’t be any earlier than the 18th tho so look out for these once it hits that date! Anywho, cheers to this month’s update!

Alrighty folks we be starting with the Art~!

Alrighty so obvious new thing, WE GOT RAPH’S REF SHEEEEEEEET TEEHEEEEEEE

BRO IM SO HYPE ABOUT IT! It turned out so genuinely amazing and I’m ridiculously proud of it! Especially cuz I honestly thought Raph was gonna be a harder design to figure out yk? I’m not used to drawing his body type, I wasn’t as familiar with his outfit, and even tho I’ve sketched him a few times before, I was just a bit nervous with Raph. Funfact, he’s also been the hardest to figure out how to write back when I was first starting MFIP. I genuinely don’t know why, but I got there eventually (I actually really love writing him now—) and same thing happened with his design!

Since MFIP’s taking place a few months after the Krang invasion, i’m able to take creative liberties and update the boys’ designs more! For some clarification btw, in my story’s lore, the invasion took place in September 2020, and MFIP starts on March 2021. Anywhizzle, my ideas for the boys’ designs is to combine their movie look with their show look, cuz while I do LOVE the black on them, it doesn’t feel right to me to not make them still unique in their own ways. These guys are all about authenticity, so why make their gear exactly the same, ya get me? I basically recolored his show gear to be black and red (and added a lil asymmetry on his legs) cuz I think it makes Raph feel older and more sure about himself, just feels right for him! I also just think the red fade on the black is hella cool! Fun lil color theory i think application, the black is more of a really dark, inky blue, so it makes the red pop out even more! I decided to make a bow out of his mask tails, too! I don’t wanna spoil the entire lore reasoning for it yet (it’ll pop up in the story), but I can indeed say it’s intentional that it looks a little like a lunamoth with damaged tails :3 I also took a BUNCH of creative liberties with his sais’ handles, since we haven’t really seen it much so like idk gaslight yourselves into thinking it’s always been this epic✨✨

Also I gave him his shorts back because FUCK YOU I LIKED THE RED TRIMMMM—

OH I ALMOST FORGOT yes he has longer eyelashes! I saw he grows to have really pretty eyelashes in the future cuz of his turtle species, and I wanted to lean into that by showing they’re starting to grow now :3

Bullshit Gag Because Yes‼️‼️

There ain’t shit to say about this, I just pulled a silly. I saw the fact Donnie was supposed to have a “Doctor Donatello” persona in the deleted episode where Dale turns into a werewolf. I’m really heavily on the train of Leo being the team medic and into medicine in general. I don’t think it makes sense for Donnie to be the medic judging by his sensory issues and this mf being as much of a germaphobe as my mom, and in my opinion it felt too stereotypical anyway to have Donnie be the medic. Ofc, to each their own, and this is just my interpretation of it, but I thought it’d be funny if Donnie still had this persona and was passionate about it, but was like horrifically bad at being a doctor. I made this dumbass sketch that I’ll finish sometime in the future (it’s gonna be a chapter in Arc 3 probably) and I just wanted to share it with yall~

THEY’RE HUMAN NOW⁉️

My ass wanted to show off cuz I’m sketching out some ideas of what my human designs for the boys culd be. I already did Leo’s like ages ago so he’s not on here but I’m realizing as I’m typing this my dumbass forgor to post it so um my bad I will do that in a few days—

But I wanted to design (or more accurately, redesign cuz I did draw em once a while back but I’m not satisfied with them) and I think I ate so far so uh yea. There isn’t any logic to sharing this, I just thought it was cool😭

And actually, imma share them here too just so y’all can see my boy ;w;

(A lil outdated cuz I didn’t give him lips at the time)

Okay there we go~

As you can see, I want all the boys to look kinda etherial and like they'd turn heads, and I think I am SUCCEEDING SO HARD SO FAR CUZ DAMNNNN THEY'RE ALL PRETTY AS SHIIIIIIIT TEEHEE✨ Also am tryna make sure they actually look Blasian since that's what the canon of my story says they are. I'll talk about them more another time when I have all of them on here~

But yea that's all for art this time folks :> ONTO THE NEXT THINGGG

Chapter Progress Time Whoop Whoooop‼️‼️

I didn’t make much progress on anything this month due to college—again, it’s fine, but there’s a shit ton of time management going on in my part to just manage everything and make sure I’m on track—BUT I am indeed still working on chapter 10. We’re up to 20 pages now which is only two more pages written from last month, but it’s kinda cool writing Donnie and I feel like I’m getting a better understanding of him! One thing I’ve been tryna do is understand autism better as a condition cuz I do wanna acknowledge and show bro’s autism instead of just ignoring it due to a lack of understanding. Donnie ain’t Donnie without it, ya know? I don’t know everything and tbh I would say I still have A LOT to learn on the subject matter, but I’m tryna expand my knowledge every opportunity I get and experimenting with how to better show it! This is to say tho, I’M NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, NOR AN EXPERT ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM. This is what I’m finding and comprehending via my own research, and can tbh end up being wrong so please don’t quote me as a reliable source, I’m still learning ;v;

I remember one of the things I kept hearing about was autism leading people to struggle with empathy. The best way I heard it being described was someone bringing the example of when their friend was upset. That person can’t truly feel their friend’s emotions because they’re not the one experiencing it, so can’t properly understand how it’s making their friend feel. But they can see that their friend is communicating their sadness, and they still try to comfort them and make sure their friend knows they’re there for support. I understood it as bringing logic to emotions in a sense; collecting data and figuring out how to handle the situation based on the data rather than using intuition alone.

I’ve been using that to figure out how Donnie might handle more emotionally subtle situations, where he might try to rationally work through what’s happening and kinda substitute it in place of natural empathy. Like the little tidbit I gave above! Instead of just automatically being able to get vibes that the other person is upset, I felt maybe Donnie would instead notice the fact their tone is kinda different from before; it’s basically a data point. With that data point in mind, he could connect it to past experiences where a tone change could indicate a mood change, and as a result he might conclude that Salena’s tone change means she’s upset. I comprehend it as manually working through empathy rather than it being second nature, if that makes sense. Obviously and thankfully Donnie isn’t gonna spend the entire chapter playing a guessing game or anything with Salena’s emotions, it’s just one lil moment that I thought was cool challenge to myself with when writing him! I really love putting myself in the characters’ shoes when I’m writing them or their dialogue. I highly recommend it as a tool too, since it's helped me a lot with staying in character!

Last Lil Segment Y'all

Aight so, I wanted to try doing something cool if y'all are up for it. I really love rambling about my story and lore and characters blah blah blah, but I don't really know how to do so tbh. I'm not that familiar with how social medias work cuz I just never took it seriously, and I don't wanna just keep being like HEYYYYY ASK BOX IS OPENNNNN like I'm screaming from the top of the hill either. Sooooo insteaddddd

I think it'd be fun to do Q&As here! Or at least something similar. I'll open my ask box again and feel free to send any questions you want; it can be about the story, past lore, design questions, getting to know the characters, absolutely anything! Then when I'm gonna do my update for the month, I'll compile all y'all's asks, (prolly will have to tag to make sure you guys know I answered it, or if you ask anon then uh idk look out for the monthly update) and then answer them during the monthly update as the last section! I think it'll be a cool way to make this feel more interactive, and gives me an excuse to ramble. Don't be afraid to ask potentially spoilery questions either! If it's something I can't spoil yet or even give hints or vague answers about, I'll just say so in the update!

Anywhizzle, That's All Folks~!

I'm glad there was so much to talk about this month! I actually deadass thought it would be short but I should know better with my yapping' ass💀✨ But yeah, thanks for reading everyone! I hope y'all enjoy the rest of your days, and I shall see you next month~ Bye :D

Tageroonies:

@yosajaeofficial @chaoticspeedrun @ramblehour @randomcerealbrand @goldanrabbit @m1sf0rtun3 @foundthethief @ackalice @jellyfishheartsss @dollyrin @harukonene @iieieiw @mwantstossleep @zipzaizen @hypocriticaltypwriter @lordfreg @rainbowpr1sm @idioticsky @oleander-nin @cheeselord-official @skittlesqueen101

By the way, if you guys think you’d like to be tagged whenever an MFIP chapter is posted, lmk in a reblog or comment (no asks or dms plz, too inconvenient) and I’ll be sure to tag so it’s more reliable than tumblr notifs :3🫶

ROTTMNT: Moths Fly In Packs

[tmnt-tychou]

Some Bodyguard AU thirst for your Sunday:

She watched him, sitting on the couch, unaware of her eyes on him from behind the cracked doorway. He was so handsome in his sleek, black suit. Long legs, one crossed over the other. Long, powerful arms stretched out over the back of the couch. She shouldn't have bothered him. Technically, he was still working. He was still on the clock, fully awake even after the party, making sure she was safe for the night.

But he was also patient and kind, and beautiful. And she wanted him. Maybe she could even have him if she was only brave enough.

Taking a breath, Mona Lisa stepped into the room, trying to make it as casual as possible. Trying to act like her heart wasn't pounding in his chest. His eyes were on her instantly. Always vigilant to any motion in the room. It was almost unnerving how nothing escaped the notice of either of her two bodyguards at any time. Still, she continued to approach.

“Donatello, would you mind?” She walked up to him and turned around, presenting the back of her dress. “I think the zipper's stuck.”

It was such an old line. Someone like Donatello would have seen right through it. But if he wanted the invitation...

Like in the movies, she imagined him standing up, getting in close. Nose in her hair, one hand smoothing down her arm and side as the other slowly revealed her bare back to him. It would be slow and sexy, feeling his hot breath on her skin. Feeling his want for her as he helped her out of her dress.

But the reality was Donatello didn't even have to stand up. He merely reached up for the zipper and, with a few tugs, pulled it all the way down. And then left it at that.

Mona stood there stupidly, unsure of what to do. This hadn't gone according to plan. Her first response was panic. She hadn't even considered this outcome. What the hell was she supposed to do now? The rational part of her brain spoke above her embarrassment. She hadn't lost anything yet. She could still play it off like this was what was supposed to happen the whole time.

Say thank you and go back to your room. He will never even realize if you leave now and act normal.

All the men she knew were humans, until her two latest bodyguards. How cliché of her to crush on the first mutants she had ever interacted with. So trite, so predictable. But Mona tried to remember to be kind to herself. She never put herself out there for a man. There was no need to. She already knew the answer would be no. She was brave to try for the first time ever and she was lucky to come out of it so unscathed.

She forgot to thank him for his assistance and turned to go, now eager to go back to her room and lick her wounds in peace. But as she moved to leave, Donatello's hand caught her wrist. His face was one of surprise and realization, as if he only now understood the intention of her actions.

“Do you...” he started, then cut himself off. “Can you help me with something?”

She blinked at him. “Yes. Anything.” It fell out of her mouth before she could really think about it. It was embarrassing. It sounded desperate, though she meant every word.

He too seemed a little flustered at her response. His golden eyes darted away as he said, “Could you help me with...my tie?”

It was on straight, completely in order as he always was.

“To...take it off?”

He nodded and she saw his throat swallow as she stared at it. She didn't really touch them, though she often wanted to. They were the ones who initiated touch—though always in a professional capacity. A soft touch to her arm or the small of her back to guide her or get her attention when they needed it. She had no need to touch them. And now she had been given a direct invitation. She mentally told herself to be cool about it.

She bent over, fully aware that her loose dress would give him a generous view of her cleavage, as she worked the knot of the tie until it was loose enough to pull one end through. The silky fabric gave a small hush of sound as she pulled it through the collar and away from him. The closest she had ever come to undressing a man. She wanted to keep going. It seemed he did, too.

“And the buttons?” he ventured.

Her heart skipped. There was no mistaking when he was asking of her. She was eager, but tried not to seem too desperate as she took her time, undoing one button, then another, then another. Enjoying his eyes at her as she worked.

Unbidden, her hands went to the collar and pulled it open. Jacket and shirt together were slipped off the wide frame of his shoulders. Her eyes drank him up. The textured, green skin. The delicate clavicle. The exposed part of his plastron. A peek of the turtle body beneath the human clothes that attempted to hide his form. She drank him up like he was a glass of cool water.

Her darting eyes were caught by his and he held them there as he gathered his feet under him and stood. Slowly, foot by foot he rose up; to her height, and then over her. She still had a grip on his clothes, which only pulled them further down his arms, revealing more of his body to her.

Her face warmed as he took up the space around her. His fingers slipped through the open back of her dress and found the dip of her spine. So subtly, he used that touch to pull her in a little bit closer.

His voice came out as a rasp. A tone she had never heard from him before. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

[arachine]

yes, i'm ready (to fall in love)

── ˚₊✩‧₊ genre: smut, fluff, mild angst

── ˚₊✩‧₊ synopsis: after reader is persuaded into putting herself back out there by long time friend, shoko, she successfully ends up scoring a date. unbeknownst to her, though, the gods have different plans—and one of them seems especially interested in her relationship with ex-husband, gojo satoru.

or in other words: a failed date results in a night of passion amongst former lovers.

── ˚₊✩‧₊ contents: 13.5k words, ex-husband!gojo + co-parent!gojo, slight dub-con (alcohol use), dumbification, overstimulation, vaginal penetration, unconventional form of contraception (pull-out method - don’t do this), pussy eating + one oc for the sake of plot

── ˚₊✩‧₊ note: i know this is really long and most people don’t have the attention span for it but PLEASE give it a chance! this is literally the longest piece of fiction i’ve ever written and i’m really proud of it :(

songs to listen to for best reading experience: donny hathaway - i love you more than you’ll ever know barbara mason - i’m ready partynextdoor - showing you bryson tiller - been that way

After you divorced your ex-husband, and decided to devote all of your time to being a mother, you never really considered getting back into the dating world. Not that you didn’t eventually want to settle down with someone new, but the dating world now was just so–different.

Different in the sense that meeting people organically was becoming increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like how it used to be in high school or college, and it really didn’t take that much effort then to get a man’s number by the end of your outing. 

When you were in your early twenties, a brush of your hand on a man’s arm would’ve worked. An ‘accidental’ bump into someone at a grocery store or cafe might’ve ended in a quick lay. Using these tactics today, though, might earn you some weird looks–have–earned you some weird looks. 

You’re on call with a friend from college when you begin recounting something embarrassing that happened to you recently. At first, the conversation started out about all of the professors you would’ve slept with (if given the chance), but then, one thing led to another, and she asked you something that made you wince: 

“‘How’s your dating life been since, you know, Satoru?’” 

There’s a heavy silence from your end, and she almost thinks you hung up. 

“I mean, if you want to share,” she splurts, attempting to approach this gently, “I know that after the divorce, I wasn’t there for you like you needed, but I’d like to make up for that–if you’d let me.”

Shoko’s always been like that. Blunt and charismatic, but gentle and zephyr-light in the way she cares for those closest to her. It’s a trait of hers that you admire, because not so many people would care to treat your heart with such fragility.

“No, it’s okay. You can ask, you know, it’s not this secret thing,” you start, sighing before continuing, “it happened, and it was a mutual decision.”

Shoko hums on the other side, “Well, I’m still sorry. I let us go without talking for far too long…”

“Well, I accept your apology, even if it’s unwarranted. Like I said, it was mutual and…there wasn’t really an intense grieving period for me? The only thing that hurt me is that you distanced yourself. I mean, the girls did miss their aunt Shoko…” you say, trying to make her feel bad but not too bad. 

“I know, I know, I’m a bad aunt,” she jests, then the tone shifts to something serious. “I think I was just scared because both of you were my best-friends. I didn’t want to ‘pick sides’, but I see now that it was a mutual decision, so I’m assuming you two are on good-terms?” 

Again, you pause, “I mean, yeah. Satoru will always be my best friend. We may not be together romantically but he’s such an integral part of my life, I couldn’t do this–all of this–alone.” After you say it, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest that you didn’t know was even there. 

You think nobody would understand if you told them this. You think they’d question how a person could divorce someone who’s supposed to be their best-friend. And with the way you describe it, they’d probably think you were still in love with him. But Shoko’s different, she gets it. Which is why saying it to her came so easily. 

“He is a great father,” she chimes in, “but you two rushed into it so quickly, I don’t think either of you had time to discover yourselves after college.”

Although she can’t see it, you smile. Because she gets it. Even if time did place itself in between the two of you, she was there for most of it, when things were still touch-and-go. When things were fresh, and clumsy. 

“Exactly, that was our biggest gripe,” you admit, “We didn’t afford ourselves that time to grow, and I think that hindered our relationship. We weren’t husband and wife first, we were parents–and we were young, way too young.”

“You made it, though,” Shoko tries to brighten the mood, “you’re both amazing parents, and I know those beautiful girls that you created are lucky to have you.” 

The intimacy of the conversation sends your emotions into overdrive. You quickly realize how much you missed her, how much you yearned to talk to her. To reconnect on this level. 

A single tear cascades down your cheek, and you try not to sound like you’re crying when you say, “Ok, enough about that. You wanted to know about my shitty dating life, right?”

It happened last week, the grocery store incident. You were out picking up a few things for dinner when you spotted a cute guy standing outside of the aisle a few rows from you. He was fit beyond measure, in looks and strength, and was wandering around aimlessly in pursuit of red pepper flakes. 

Coincidentally, you just happened to be in the seasoning aisle, and like the good samaritan you were, decided to personally hand-deliver it to him. 

You wince as you vividly recall the embarrassing ordeal that ensued immediately after. 

“Hey,” you peer from behind the aisle, with a bottle of red pepper flakes in tow. “I heard you mumbling about finding this, and you looked pretty lost, so I thought I’d pick ‘em out for you.” 

The man’s brows furrow briefly before his lips up-turn into a grateful smile, “Oh, cool, thank you so much!” As quickly as the conversation started, it ends even quicker. He gives you a final nod of endearment before he’s turning around on his heels to resume his shopping. 

“God, could he be any more dense? The men today really make you work for it, huh?” you mumble to yourself, pulling the bosom of your blouse down until a good amount of cleavage is on display. “Okay, alright. You got this, you got this. This always used to work, right? Yeah, men love boobs.”

Walking up to the man again, you try a different approach–a bolder approach. “Not to be a bother but I was wondering if I could-”

“Babe? Oh, there you are,” a new voice interjects. The owner of the voice emerges from around the corner and walks up to the man with a cart and a baby in tow. You’re stunned, to say the least. All you can do is stand there and blink in complete and utter dumbfoundment. As you remain in their presence, you take a moment to analyze the woman. She’s gorgeous, and toned. A real model-type broad, with feline-ish features that make so much sense paired with the man who appears to be her partner. 

Oh, you think, and apparently say aloud, too. That’s when the woman turns to you, finally acknowledging your much smaller, and much quieter presence. 

“Hi, can we help you?” she smiles, and it’s actually genuine. Toothy and perfect, and totally not jealous. You blink once, twice, before gathering your wits to answer her question. 

“Yeah, uh, no. I actually, uhm, was helping your h-husband. He was looking for red pepper flakes,” you mutter embarrassedly, and point to the bottle in his hand. Upon further observation, you notice that she isn’t exactly wearing a ring. You find this odd, especially because his not wearing a ring is what encouraged you to pursue him. Carefully, you prod. 

“If I may ask, how come neither of you are wearing rings?” The couple gives each other a look, one that makes you feel like the odd man out. A look that is universally known, and without a doubt, could easily be translated to: ‘did this chick really just ask that?’

Still, you smile as you wait for an answer. The woman takes the initiative. “Yeah, we don’t really believe in rings, isn’t that right, babe?” she says so matter-of-factly. You blink again for what seems like the thousandth time, because of all things, you did not expect that to come out of her mouth. Her husband is quick to validate her statement. 

“Yeah, we think rings are unnecessary, you know? You don’t need a piece of metal to confirm your feelings,” he says walking to his partner’s side and wrapping an arm around her. 

Disgustingly, the two give each other googly eyes before locking lips briefly. You can tell they’re the type to probably share this information with just about any soul who asks. Today, you just happened to be that unfortunate soul. 

“Are you married?” she queries, tilting her head against her husband’s chest.

“I was, now we just…co-parent,” you purse your lips, ready for this entire interaction to be over. The woman frowns at your answer, and this time it’s not as genuine.

“Awe, well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It was actually a mutual decision,” you quip.

“Okay,” she smiles, widening her eyes at her husband to signal a departure, “well, it was nice meeting you, and thank you for the red pepper flakes.”

The family turns away and heads to the front where check-out is. You don’t even buy the items you intended to purchase, just leave your cart in the middle of whatever aisle you abandoned it and leave the store.

“Oh, baby, you didn’t?” Shoko asks in horror. You nod your head, still forgetting she can’t see you and the way you’re sliding down against the wall. 

“I did, and I shan't ever again,” a laugh erupts from your throat. 

“I mean, fuck, are we getting old? ‘Don’t believe in rings,’” she mumbles, “Don’t believe in rings, my ass! Is this what the youth are doing these days? Not proposing with rings?”

Now that you think about it, you wonder how that would even work. “Yeah, right? I mean, how does that even work? ‘Will you marry me? But, actually, you should know I don’t have a ring for you, so people will have to guess that we’re together purely based on vibes and energy,’” you mock, in a not-so-great man voice. 

Shoko’s laughing so hard by the end of your bit that she breaks the sound barrier, and the sound that makes on the phone sends you into your own fit of laughter. You laugh so hard it seems like a stream of pee comes out. Curse your developed incontinence after motherhood.

“God, you’re so stupid, I can’t breathe,” she says exasperatedly, and you know that on the other side she’s probably keeling over in her bed. 

“Oh, please. I bet you haven’t laughed this hard in a long time, bitch.”

“I haven’t,” she cackles. This back-and-forth continues until the two of you settle down enough to continue discussing your (pee-inducing) love life. 

“You tried any dating apps?” 

It’s a simple and valid question, but it only makes you laugh even harder. You only stop when the other side of the line goes quiet. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, seriously. It’s what everyone’s doing these days! You’re not that old, you know.”

“Shut up,” you kid, “ it’s just that I never considered it. I mean, dating apps feel so impersonal. How serious do people even take it?” 

“Sure, there’s people who use it for casual hook-ups and stuff, but a lot of people do come out of it with a relationship. Just don’t knock it ‘till you try it.”

“Oh?” you muse, curious. You wish Shoko could see your face, and the weird little dance your brows were doing. “Shoko, have you used a dating app before?” 

The brunette kisses her teeth. “Can’t get anything past you.”

“Never.”

There’s a sense of hesitance but you encourage her to elaborate because ‘she became estranged from you for almost a decade and needed to pay her dues’. Sighing defeatedly, she eventually acquiesces. 

“Fine, fine, maybe I’ve…been on a few dates,” she starts, “–and had a few one night stands, maybe more than a few, and maybe even dated a guy that turned into my stalker–”

“Ieiri Shoko! You naughty, naughty girl! Wait, stalker?”

“To make a long story short, I got a restraining order on that creep. Anyway,” she segues, attempting to change the subject, “We should make you a profile!”

For the rest of your phone call, Shoko guides you through all of the dating app basics. She offers her expert advice as you scroll through your camera roll for potential photos to use. You go through about a hundred before you finally settle on five that she really likes. 

The one that she tells you to put first is a photo of you in a bikini. It’s a few years old but she says you look ‘radiant’ and that your ‘tits were practically spilling out of the cups’. Plus, for further consolation, she says most people on dating apps are liars. 

“Everyone’s got at least one old photo on their profile, doesn’t make you a catfish,” she quips, “just means you’re a nostalgic person!” 

“Right…” 

The next one is a selfie. You’re smiling big in it, showing your gums, and it’s genuine. Shoko says guys like those types of photos because it shows them that you’re approachable. It also won her over because it’s fairly recent, too. 

Out of all your photos, there’s only a select few that were taken within the year. You had to admit to her that you never really took photos of yourself anymore. Satoru took most of your candids. Still, she had a mission. And she wasn’t going to be satisfied until she stuck around to see your first match. 

“After the selfie you should put the one of you with the girls.”

The picture she’s referring to is one Satoru also took. You remember that day fondly, and even now, the memories feel like a warm embrace. 

about 8 years ago . . .

“Dad, mom, look! Hurry!” Hana, your oldest, shouts. Satoru and you are sitting on a blanket up on the sand dunes with Haruki, who’s trying her best to make a sand castle–to no avail. 

“What is it, hon?” Satoru and you rush over to her, snatching toddler Haruki in the same breath. When you get to the scene, a flood of warmth washes over you upon discovering the ‘threat’. 

“See, it’s baby turtles!” Hana’s squatting in the sand, watching with pure and unfettered fascination as the hatchlings crawl north to the ocean. When she looks up at you, with eyes so bright, and a smile so big that’s missing two of her front teeth, you want to cry. 

“Oh, hon, that’s beautiful,” you gasp, lowering to your haunches so that you can join her. Satoru is about to follow suit before deciding at the last minute to go back to the blanket. When he returns, he snaps a picture unbeknownst to you. Eventually, though, you turn your gaze to him and he captures–what he used to think then–the ‘prettiest’ photo of you.

“You sneaking photos of me?” you squint, pointing at him. He trods closer until he’s standing above you. Then he snaps another. Your head’s tilted up, and you’ve got one eye open, and the other closed because of the sun. He always liked when you squinted like that because it made your nose do this cute little scrunch. 

“Yup, ‘cause you’re my muse.”

You’re pulled out of your daydream when Shoko says your name on the other line.

“You still there?” 

“Yeah, it’s just…”

“Just what?” she queries, waiting for a response. 

“I wanna use it, but my ex-husband took it. It feels weird, you know? And do I want to use a photo of me with the girls?”

“Hon, who cares if Satoru took the photo? It’s still a good photo, and to answer your second question, why wouldn’t you include a picture with your girls?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just afraid no one will be interested. Nothing about a picture of a mom with her two daughters exactly screams ‘fuck me’.”

Shoko lets out a small chuckle but you’re being serious. “Oh, sweetie. You’re so cute. Milfs are in these days, I don’t think I’m the one getting old, I think it’s just you!”

“Ha-ha, laugh at the mom,” you feign annoyance, but give her a laugh in return.

“But seriously, please use that photo. Nobody’s going to skip you just because you’re a mom. A lot of men on there have kids of their own, just gotta tweak your settings,” Shoko reassures you.

By the end of your call, the profile is set. You thank your old friend for the previous heart-to-heart conversation, and the time she spent helping you set up your profile.

“Keep me updated, and don’t talk about mom stuff, okay? Now, I’m not saying you can’t talk about them,” she begins, “but show these guys your personality! I know she’s in the closet somewhere hiding next to our old slutty clubbing clothes.”  

Then, the both of you say your goodbyes and she wishes you a good-luck on your newly established dating journey. As you lay in your bed, you give your profile a final onceover. Not too bad, you think to yourself. 

You ended up using all of the photos she had originally picked out for you. Even the beach photo. To compensate for your old photos, though, Shoko made sure that your prompts were witty and full of personality. 

“I’d match me, I think. No, yeah, these are funny. She did a good job.”

The following day, you open your phone to fifty notifications from the dating app. A tingle of excitement shoots through your body from the tip of your toes, to the top of your head. It takes all of your might not to squeal in the office. 

“Holy fuck,” you whisper at your desk. The amount of notifications that you initially saw on your homescreen read ‘50’ but when you opened the app, it showed you an overwhelming ‘100’ with a fat plus sign next to it. “Wait, are these all the people who liked me? Shoko’s gonna flip.” 

Getting up from your chair, you make a beeline to the nearest bathroom. Not that you have to use it, but so you can scroll through all the potential prospects without your boss seeing you on your phone. 

Pulling open the door to the bathroom, you close it shut behind you and lock it. A few minutes pass in the time you’re able to get through about half of the people who liked you. You end up skipping a lot of them. They’re either too young, too self-absorbed, creepy, or just downright not your type. 

Some stick out, though. Even trick you into thinking they’re potential matches, but then the other shoe drops–because there’s always another shoe. You’ll scroll through their profiles, and they’ll seemingly have all the perfect traits: intelligent, witty, handsome, tall–and then, boom. You see their ‘don’t want kids’ preference. Every failed match only discourages you more and more. 

It’s weird, because your profile preferences are set to ‘have kids’ and you even have a photo pictured with your girls. So why are men liking your profile despite that? After a few more scrolls, you’re just about ready to head back to your desk but then–you have a hit. 

Your finger hovers over the ‘x’ at the bottom of the screen, then retracts. The guy’s profile at first impression is miles better than the rest, it’s almost too good to be true. His first photo is what piqued your interest. It’s of him posing for a silly photo with his sons, and he’s got his arms draped around their shoulders. 

As you scroll down his profile, you see that there’s even more of him with his children. You take this as a green flag. He wants people to know he has kids, and that he isn’t embarrassed to show them off. You admire him for it. 

The last few remaining photos are an amalgamation of selfies and full-body photos. To the average, well-adjusted adult, looks wouldn’t be a deal breaker. But he definitely wasn’t too bad on the eyes, and you were not complaining about that–especially, after the odd men you had to scroll through to get here. In other words, he was gorgeous and still fit despite being older than you (him, respectively being in his early forties). 

Checking the time on your phone, you realize that you’re pushing your little ‘bathroom break’. Before heading back to your desk, you decide to respond to his first photo.

You: Cute! Could never get my girls to stand so still for a photo like this now haha :)

Work goes by slower than you’d like, but finishes up just in time when you get a notification from the dating app. You’re a little more excited than you’d care to admit. Tidying up your workspace, you say your goodbyes to your colleagues and head to the elevator. Absent-mindedly, you rush to answer his message but realize it won’t go through because of the elevator’s poor service.

Kazuki: Oh, they’re moody and grown now, don’t be fooled. I can't remember the last time I saw my youngest smile. 

You don’t answer his reply until you get home. Actually, you do just about everything but answer his reply: check on the girls, shower, prepare dinner, pour a glass of wine–you’re nervous, and you don’t know why. But you know you should probably answer soon before he becomes disinterested. So you get comfortable in bed with your glass of wine and pull open his chat.

You: Lol, know that all too well. Kids are little assholes, aren’t they?

The speed in which he reads your text is startling, you don’t even have enough time to close out of the chat. Then, he responds. 

Kazuki: Hell yeah they are! 

Kazuki: Sometimes I want to strangle my youngest. He’s at that age where he’s starting to rebel and question everything. I told him he was supposed to be the ‘easy’ one, but his knucklehead brothers are bad influences on him…Tell me, does it ever get easier?

You: Sounds a lot like my oldest. She used to cling to me like a koala but now she’s the ring leader, and I’m the enemy. My youngest still loves her mama, though (for now lol). 

You: And to answer your question, I’d like to think so? 

You take a second before continuing your response. Shoko told you to keep the mom talk limited, but this seems to be working for you so far, and he’s genuinely interested in what you have to say. So for once, you’re going to ignore her advice. 

You: Kids go through phases. It's our job to reassure them that we’re not going anywhere. No matter how much they push us away or try to, that is :)

Kazuki’s chat bubbles pop up, then disappear. You think he’s deciding on what to say. 

Kazuki: I can tell we’re gonna get along great. It’s nice opening up like this, you know? Talking to another parent. If I'm being honest, dating apps have always intimidated me…

Kazuki: People see kids as ‘baggage’, and it really bothers me. My kids aren’t baggage. They’re the best parts of me. And if someone doesn’t see that, then we have no business getting to know each other. 

Kazuki: Sorry for getting all sappy. Just felt like I needed to say it. 

His apology makes you frown. It feels like a breath of fresh air to hear someone talk about their kids so lovingly, because you feel the exact same way. You’re glad you downloaded the app, and you make a mental note to thank Shoko again later (after you debrief her about this). 

You: Never apologize for speaking about your kids! And if we’re being absolutely transparent, that was my biggest gripe with downloading this app, too. 

You: I’m so glad we matched each other. I’d like to get to know you more. And I’m hoping the feeling’s mutual?

Kazuki: It’s more than mutual. 

Kazuki: Don’t want to get ahead of myself but how do you feel about dinner? There’s a cool high-scale restaurant in the city that I haven’t been to yet. Heard it’s got two Michelin stars despite opening up not too long ago. 

The prospect of going on a sit-down dinner date has your stomach in knots. It’s been a hot minute since the last time you’ve done so, but you’re eager to know the man behind the screen on a more personal level. Plus, being treated to a high-scale restaurant with two Michelin stars doesn’t seem too bad either. You’re never one to turn down free dinner.

You: I’d love to, but how soon we talkin’? Gotta see if it’ll align with my schedule.

Kazuki: How’s this Friday at 8 sound? :)

The days leading up to Friday breeze by in a blur. For the majority of the week, it feels like you’re walking on cloud nine. Eventually, the conversation transitions from the dating app to exchanging phone numbers, and since then, the two of you have been texting back-and-forth everyday.

You talk about mundane things. Work, shows, movies, books you’ve recently read, what your kids are up to–but the other things? The other messages are flirty, and sexy, and filled with so much tension that it could cut a rope in half. 

In between messages, the two of you have also exchanged a few photos. Nothing risqué or anything of that nature, just random photos of you throughout the day. The last one he sent was a few hours ago of him at work, captioned with: ‘Could this meeting be any longer?’. 

You reply to the message with the ‘ha ha’ reaction, in consideration of not wanting to get him in trouble at work (even if he was the one who initiated the conversation). As the days go by, though, you make it a habit to update Shoko every step of the way. 

Her first reaction to hearing about him was enthusiastic. That is, until you showed her screenshots from his profile. You vaguely remember her saying something that was meant as a compliment, but came out more like an insult. 

“‘Oh, he’s a dad!” was her initial response, “oh, he’s a dad…and he really loves his kids. You’re meant for each other.’” 

When you tried to ask her what she meant by that, she changed the subject. Every update since then has earned slightly more positive reactions, though.

Today, you ask her for more advice. Only this time, you’re on video call. 

“Shokoooo,” you drawl, “our date is tomorrow! You have to help me find something to wear.” The panic in your voice is so palpable, she can almost feel your shaky hands through the screen. Flipping the camera, you hurriedly pan your phone around the closet. 

“Breathe, girl, breathe,” she demonstrates first, before telling you to repeat the same motions. “Take me to that section over there–no, not that one–wait, yep, there.” You amble over to the area she’s directing you to through the phone.

“What’s that black little number right there?” She points. You prop the phone up on a shelf and scour through the section, tugging out a dress you haven’t seen in ages (which has you questioning how she even spotted it because it was pretty far back into the closet). Walking back into frame, you hold the fabric up to your body. 

Shoko nods in approval, “That’s the one, babe. Try it on!” 

It’d been about a decade since the last time you wore this dress. It’d also been about a decade since you were ever this small. Looking in the mirror, you run your hands over every surface inch, every crevice of the dress, in a newfound sense of appreciation for the adult weight you’ve gained since becoming a mother. 

The dress was always stunning but it hugged everything perfectly even more so now. When you walk back into frame, your friend gives you a look of pure adoration. She’s so enthralled that she snaps a few screenshots for keepsaking. 

“Thank god it’s Satoru’s turn to get the kids tonight,” she says, “‘cause you’re definitely getting some tonight.” 

You roll your eyes, reminding her she’s on speaker phone. “Oh, please. It’s just dinner!”

“Not in that dress,” she retorts, wagging her finger in the camera. While the two of you continue to chat about the details of tonight, a knock on your bedroom door draws your attention. 

“Mom, can I come in?” the voice sounds. It’s Haruki. 

“Come in, hon!” 

After you give the ok, you turn to Shoko and mouth to her to behave. Haruki turns the knob and enters, closing the door behind her. She sees you standing in front of the mirror before you see her, and silently utters a ‘wow’. You’re just about done putting your earrings in when you join her in the other room. 

“What do you think, bun? Does your mom look hot?” you spin around, smoothing your hands down the length of the dress. You wait in anticipation for her approval, because if anyone could tell it like it is, it was always going to be a kid. Your Haruki was no exception. 

“You look really pretty, Mom. I’m glad you’re going out tonight, I mean, you don’t really have friends so I think this will be good for you,” she elaborates, though you wish she would’ve stopped at the compliment. 

Still, it puts a smile on your face to hear her verbalize that she’s okay with you doing something for yourself. You never quite discussed the prospect of getting back out there with your kids–and not even intentionally. It just never felt like the right time. 

“You could’ve stopped at the compliment, punk!” you grab her, then wrap her in your arms, “but thank you. Love you, bun.”

“Love you more, mama.” Neither of you make the effort to pull away. Instead, you both stand there. Hugging, breathing, embracing each other’s warmth. You don’t always get hugs this good, so when you do, you savor it. Drag it out until your arms and legs get all tingly. 

Or until someone interrupts. Another knock on the door. This time it’s Hana. 

“Ew, what’s going on?” Hana feigns a look of disgust. You know she’s just jealous; she’ll never admit it, though. Which is why sometimes you have to force her to participate. 

“Get over here,” you scrunch your nose, forcefully pulling her into your tight embrace. She tries to protest but eventually accepts defeat. You squeeze them both until they whine that they can’t breathe anymore. Then you squeeze them some more because this one’s for you. 

“My special girls,” you breathe in, taking in all of their love. Soaking it all up so that tonight you have the courage to try again. To allow yourself a love of your own. When you let go, there’s a sniffle from the closet. It totally dawned on you that Shoko was still on the phone. 

“They’re so big now, they don’t even know their auntie,” she fakes a sob, blowing her nose into a tissue. 

“Mom, who’s on the phone?” Haruki queries with a confused expression etched onto her face. It suddenly dawns on you again that although you’ve been communicating with Shoko again, you haven’t exactly told them. 

“Hey, you came in here to tell me something right, Han?” Your attempt to change the subject is poorly done, which doesn’t come as a surprise to you considering deflection has never quite been an ability you excelled at. Nonetheless, the look of suspicion they give you after is fleeting before they explain to you in unison that their father is here. 

“Your father’s been waiting down there this whole time and nobody cared to tell me?” you whisper-yell, left eye twitching to emphasize your ill-preparedness. The girls only shrug their shoulders in response, like this was something you were just supposed to know. 

“Well, you did force us into a hug and make us do all that Kumbaya stuff,” Hana mumbles under her breath.

“Okay, enough about all that. Are you guys all packed? Where are your bags? I don’t want your dad seeing–” 

“You don’t want dad to see your date, right?” Hana raises a brow, all knowing. Sometimes she was a little too smart for her own good. You want to blame that on the private schools Satoru had them enrolled in, but really you just know she’s just a menace in her own right. She learned that from him. 

“I agree with the kid,” a voice chimes in. You rush to the closet and grab your phone from the shelf. There’s a huge, shit-eating grin on Shoko’s face. Somehow she’s responsible for this. You don’t know how yet, nor do you have proof, but you know it. 

“Okay, thank you, love you, bye!” Before you can hang up, Shoko blurts something. 

“Tell him I said hi,” she begins, “–andnottogetahardonwhenheseesyou!”

You hang up the call and roll your eyes, chuckling to yourself because of her idiocy. When you enter the corridor, you hear a faint sound of hushed voices from downstairs. It’s only when you round the bannister at the top, when those voices become discernible and louder. 

You stop at the top, and when your eyes meet his, it feels like all the air in your lungs have expelled. Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of what you’re wearing, and the fabric, and the way it clings to your body. Neither he, nor you, look away–you should, you want to, but you don’t. 

And in the time the two of you gaze upon the other, time stops for a modicum of a second. In this second, you and him are the last two souls in the world. At least, that’s how it feels anyway before he breaks eye contact. 

You shift your gaze shortly after, and put on a trained smile. Those eyes of his were always so intense. You guess you forgot over the years how easy it was to lose yourself in the crystalline pools of them. Gathering your wits, you resume your movements and saunter down the imperial staircase. 

“Hey, didn’t mean to keep you waiting. Sort of lost track of time, but I think the girls are all packed,” you say, your voice coming to a decrescendo upon noticing the way his eyes trail over your frame. They’re unreadable, though. Indifferent, and honestly, you’re not sure how to feel. So, you begin fidgeting uncomfortably with the rings around your finger. 

Then, he smiles. It’s eerie and fake. “Not a problem, I haven’t been here too long. But, uh,” he begins ambling around the place, touching random objects around the living room, “Didn’t know you had plans. What’s the occasion? Going out for drinks with your colleagues?” 

You furrow your brows, confused with his sudden interests in your plans. It wasn’t really like him to prod. “No, actually,” you rock back-and-forth on the balls of your heels, “i’m…i’m going on a date,” you finish with a pursed smile. He only nods his head in response, still walking around the place touching stuff, messing with the picture frames on the mantle. They’re all crooked now. 

“How come this is the only picture you have up of me,” he asks suddenly. You know, that he knows, the answer to that. And he knows, that you know, you’ll indulge in his games anyway. 

“The girls wanted them in their rooms. Why do you ask? You want me to go grab them and put ‘em all up around the house?” Again, he doesn’t say anything. Just gives you a final once over before heading back to the foyer to ask if the girls are all set to go. 

“Yeah, but I can’t find my tablet, dad. Can I go look for it?” Haruki speaks up. “I thought I packed it.”

Satoru looks at the time on his watch, pinches the crease in between his brows. “Sure, kiddo. Can we make it quick, please?” He throws his hand in the air for emphasis, then points to his watch. Haruki nods, then runs up the stairs. 

“Actually, you go on up too and help your sister. You guys are holding up dad,” you turn to Hana and gesture for her to head up with your head. She rolls her eyes, yelling up the stairs for her younger sister to ‘freaking hurry up’. 

You and Satoru both turn to each other with wide eyes, laughing at the nerve of those children. 

“They get that attitude from you, you know,” you point to him, driving your index finger into his bicep. 

“You sure? Their mom’s got a pretty bad mouth on her, too. Or, have you forgotten?” He teases, bending his knees slightly to level his eyes with yours, intruding into your space. The smirk he dons is cheeky, too friendly–too inviting. You want to smack it off of him. 

“Oh, shut u–” the sound of your phone chiming interrupts your banter. It’s a message from Kazuki, and you open it while Satoru stands over you. Probably close enough to read the message on his own if he wanted. 

Kazuki: Hey, I hate to do this but I don’t think I can go through with tonight. 

When you read the message, your heart drops into your stomach. There goes the other shoe, you think, fully embracing your pessimism. Who were you kidding, really? To think that tonight you’d go out and have a good time. Do something for yourself. It was stupidity. 

Chat bubbles pop up on the screen. He has more to say. 

He has more to say, and you’re fighting the urge to cry–to not shake out of sheer frustration while you’re still standing in front of Satoru. Because nothing would be worse than him seeing you can’t even land a date. 

Kazuki: I recently just went through a divorce, and I know that I should have informed you about this before continuing our conversations…Especially since you’ve been so transparent with me about your own divorce and strife.

Kazuki: But if I’m being completely honest, I was scared. I genuinely wanted to see this through, at first. I wanted to forget about my ex-wife for just one night. But I realized I’ve been asking the impossible of myself…I’m still in love with her, and it’s because I’m in love with her that I won’t allow myself to lead you on any further. 

Kazuki: I think we would’ve had a good time tonight. It's unfortunate we had to meet under such circumstances because you’re a really lovely woman, and I’m sorry an asshole is standing you up right now. 

Kazuki: Take care. I know there’s a guy out there just waiting for his shot. 

Satoru takes notice of the way your face drops as you read over the messages. Part of him wants to overstep his boundaries and take a peek at the screen. But he doesn’t. He gives you your space and takes a seat on the couch, waits for you to say something first. 

In the meantime, he studies your face. Watches intently as your eyes become glossy the more you scan the messages, watches as your bottom lip catches between your teeth to hold back from crying. He thinks he knows what just happened. 

Taking a deep breath, you lock your phone and put on another trained smile, “Well, looks like I’m staying in tonight.” Satoru dislikes when you do that. When you put on a fake smile and overcompensate to make others around you feel better, even when it’s so very obvious you aren’t. He wishes that sometimes you would just be selfish–act out. 

And then you continue the façade. It makes his skin itch. 

“I was too tired anyway, guess I can just catch up o–”

“Will you stop,” he spits, rising from his seat on the couch to stand. It comes out harsher than he intended, but he doesn’t regret it. You look at him like he’s got two heads as he walks over to the mantle and leans against it. His back is turned towards you, and the palms of his hands hold the crest of it. He uses it as leverage to rock on the heels of his feet. You can tell there’s something he wants to say because of the way his jaw ticks. 

Satoru is never one to bite his tongue, so you’re not exactly sure why he’s choosing to be so restrained. If he wasn’t going to spit it out, you were going to poke. “What’s your problem?” 

He chuckles at this, rubs his chin then pushes off the mantle to stand in front of you, gets all in your space again. The movement almost sends you back but you hold your ground, tilt your chin up at him and repeat the question. Slowly, this time with more venom. 

“My problem? What’s your problem?” He breathes through his nose, his eyes flickering back-and-forth between your own. “Why do you always pretend like you’re not lonely? It’s okay if you were looking forward to having fun tonight. It’s okay to be upset and be mad at the asshole who stood you up!”

With every verbal prod at you, the gap between you decreases. His feet inch closer and closer to your own and force you to retreat farther until your back hits the wall. The coldness of it causes your breath to hitch, and you try to stay calm as Satoru encroaches more into your personal space. Being on the receiving end of his passion was always suffocating, you feel exposed under the intensity of his gaze–even more so as he continues to tear into you. 

“Why do you even care?!” you cut him off, eyes wide and veins pumping full of adrenaline. “It’s not your place to be so invested in my life anymore! We’re not together, you don’t have to get so hot and bothered about things going shitty for me. I’m a big girl, and I’m perfectly capable of fighting my own battles.” 

By the time you finish, you’re a heaving, shaking mess. He takes this as a sign to withdraw from your space, and goes to sit back down on the couch. When you finally settle your nerves, you join him, leaving a foot of space in between you. There’s an awkward silence, one that wouldn’t have even happened if he just respected your boundaries in the first place. Now he feels like the asshole instead of the actual asshole who dumped you. Taking a hesitant breath, he decides to speak up. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t…It wasn’t my intention to come off so strong like that,” he begins, “I just wanted to let you know that you don’t always have to pretend to be fine. It’s not fair, you shouldn’t do that to yourself.” His eyes wander over to you reluctantly, like he’s scared that if he looks too long you’ll disengage from the conversation. 

“It’s okay,” your voice is small, just above a whisper. You want to face him, but you know that if you do, you'll break into a million pieces. So you keep your gaze downward, busy yourself with the stray pieces of thread on the bottom of your dress. “You’re right, you know. I think I just…I think I just tell myself to expect disappointment so that when something bad happens, I’ll know it’s not because I got my hopes up.” 

Satoru turns to you, and you can see him frown through your peripheral. Still, you don’t face him because you’re not done talking. But you thank him silently for listening without interrupting. 

“Even though you’re right, I don’t appreciate the way you came on so strongly. We’re not married anymore, we’re not a couple–we’re co-parents. So if there’s something I want you to know about that’s outside of the scope of our kids, I’ll let you know. Otherwise, leave it alone.”

Satoru’s face softens. For once you’re being selfish, putting your foot down. This is the side of you he likes. “Okay. I respect that,” he says, “But can I ask you something?” The smile on his face is mirthful, like he’s got something else up his sleeves this evening. Skeptical, you finally face him with a raised brow. 

“What?”

“Let me take you to dinner.” 

You laugh in his face, even go as far as smacking his arm because you want him to know you found the joke really funny. He doesn’t budge, and that’s when you realize he’s being serious. 

“Wait, what?” 

“Let’s go to dinner,” he stands up, crossing his arms across his chest. You tilt your head in disbelief. You’re just waiting for someone to tell you you’re on that old reality show punk’d. 

“Funny, I just poured my heart out to you and now you’re making fun of me,” you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance. 

“I’m being serious,” he reassures, “you’re already dressed up. It’d be a shame for it to go to waste.” His eyes are twinkling with hope, and once again, you find yourself falling victim to their persuasiveness. 

Being under Gojo Satoru’s gaze was suffocating. 

Giving in, you ask, “So what are you gonna do? Drive all the way home to get dressed?” 

The question is genuine, but the bastard just grins. “I’m a little hurt,” he throws a hand over his heart, “don’t you know me by now? I’m a businessman. I keep pressed blazers and slacks on me at all times.”

He swings his keys around his index finger, hoping that the promise of a spare change of clothes being in his car is enough to convince you to say yes. 

“I don’t know…” you trail. 

“C’mon, let me take you out. I promise you won’t regret it.”

Somehow he was able to persuade you into going out. After he changed into his spare clothes, you ended up telling your girls that there was gonna be a change of plans, and that they’d go home with their dad tomorrow. 

Of course, before leaving, you made sure to leave some money on the table for pizza, and you also made sure to drill into their heads not to open the door for anyone except the delivery guy. You knew they knew the drill already, but it didn’t feel right to leave without saying it anyway. 

“Be good, listen to your sister, she’s in charge,” you pinch Haruki’s cheek. Hana smirks, nodding her head in agreement with you. 

“I will mom, I know,” she huffs, crossing her arms.

“And you,” your finger wags at Hana, her smirk drops. “Don’t provoke your sister, be nice. Act like you love each other, please.” 

“Fine, whatever. I guess,” she grabs the knob to the door, ready to kick the both of you out already. “So does this mean the two of you are back together, or?” 

Satoru and you turn to each other before answering in unison, “No.” 

“Okay, cool. Well, have fun,” she practically closes the door on the two of you, locking it after. Satoru is just as dumbfounded as you are, but then you break into a fit of laughter. 

“Those kids, man.”

“Your kids!” you correct, pushing him playfully as the both of you walk down the pebbled pathway. He finds his equilibrium in time to unlock the car and open your side of the door. You pause before ducking inside.

“Oh, how gentlemanly of you,” you jest, “And they say chivalry is dead.”

“How could it be when I’m alive?” He says matter-of-factly, closing your side of the door. He taps the top of the car before sliding across the hood to the other side. Nice to see some things never changed. 

When he gets inside and turns on the car, he puts his hand on the back of your seat to back out. The proximity sends a shiver down your spine, and you have to physically refrain from letting your eyes linger on his jaw, and his arms, and the face he makes when he’s trying to concentrate. 

You try to dispel these less-than-friendly thoughts by looking somewhere, anywhere else but him. But you can’t, and it’s irritating. 

This is the second time tonight you’ve been this close, and it’s only this time that you realize something about him is…different. Earlier, he didn’t really smell like anything, but you quickly notice his smell has changed. 

There’s a sort of piney scent coming from him. It’s not strong or obnoxious enough to blind your nostrils, but it’s enough for you to just barely pick up on it. You almost think it was premeditated, that he took the liberty of spritzing some on before walking you to the car. Before you separated, he’d made it a habit to wear variations of woody scents for you. If you can recall correctly, a passing comment you made about the cologne he was wearing that day is what sparked the habit. 

Surely, this couldn’t be coincidental? 

“You smell nice,” you blurt, filling in the silence. 

Satoru glances at you, “Thank you.” You hate that from the corner of your eye, you can see his stupid little smirk growing bigger by the minute. He already had a big ego, it didn’t need to be stroked any more. 

“Don’t let it go to your head, though. You usually smell pretty rank.”

“Ohhh, is that so? Guess I gotta start wearing this more often then, huh?”

“Sure, do what you want,” you say, trying to remain indifferent even though you’re failing terribly to hide your smile. When the car approaches a red light, you finally decide to ask the big question. “So where are you taking me?” 

“You’ll see,” he glances over, “Just know I’m good friends with the owner, so last minute reservations weren't a problem.” 

The rest of the car ride is silent, save for the low hum of the music playing on the radio. When you arrive at the location, Satoru makes sure to walk all the way around to your side of the door again and open it. Immediately after, the two of you are greeted by a young male. He’s wearing a white button down, black slacks, and a black vest with a red tie. Judging by his appearance, you assume he’s a valet driver. 

Satoru drops his keys in the driver’s hands, and escorts you towards the entrance. The boy bows and goes to park the car. Looking around, you start to wonder where exactly this place is supposed to be. The area is dark and secluded, and from where you stand outside, it doesn’t sound like there’s supposed to be a restaurant here. You don’t hear any voices, you don’t even see any security or other passerbyers. 

Still, you follow behind him like a duckling, only coming to a halt when he leads you to a door taller than the both of you. He gestures for you to back up, then raises his knuckles to blow a strong, single knock. You’re taken by surprise when a set of angry eyes appear behind a slot in the door. 

The pair of eyes first scan over you, then Satoru. A gruff voice is second to accompany them, “Where can I get a good drink?” 

“I heard the bar down the street is nice,” Satoru answers. The hatch to the door closes, then swings open the door, and the man behind it moves aside to welcome you in.

“Follow me, please.” Once he closes the door, he begins guiding you down the dimly lit hallway. After making what seems like your hundredth turn, you eventually reach a staircase. The man gestures for you to go on ahead, and you think this is him implying where the three of you will depart.

“Thank you,” you say softly, disappearing down the stairs. Satoru isn’t too far behind, keeping a pace between you. As you near the end of the long, narrow hallway, a stream of white light brightens up your whole path. It leads you down to another door like a beacon of light, and when you reach it, you can hear voices, live music, and dishes clanking on the other side. It’s bustling with life. A huge, joyous smile plasters across your face. It’s almost child-like in appearance, like you haven’t seen something this cool in a long time. 

Satoru stands beside you and winks. “What d’ya think? Any idea yet where we are?” 

“I think this is fucking cool, and hm,” you take a second to mull it over, “are we at a speakeasy?” 

“Smart girl. Now come on.” Stepping back, you allow him to pull open the door, and when he does, there isn’t a word to describe the atmosphere of the place you step into. All you can do is stand there in astonishment. Before long, a man walks up to you. 

“Welcome, what is the name you reserved under?” 

“Gojo.”

Nodding, the host instructs you to follow after him. He leads you to a private seating area, somewhere far in the back that’s secluded from the other patrons. The space is much bigger, and much more extravagant. You know you’re only sitting way back here because Satoru is who he is. And in all the years you’ve known him, his connections were just another party trick in his arsenal. 

The hostess seats you, then Satoru, and tells you that a waiter will be with you shortly. 

“This is nice, really nice, but is it–”

“Legal?” he finishes your sentence, “don’t worry. It’s a modern speakeasy-style restaurant. There’s nothing illegal going on here, promise.” 

While you wait for your designated waiter, your focus shifts from the man in front of you to the man singing on the stage. Up until now, his voice was white noise in the background, but then he started singing a tune scarily reminiscent of your past–and your breath catches in your throat. 

If I ever leave you, baby

You can say I told you so

And if I ever hurt you

You know, I hurt myself…

Turning your gaze back to Satoru, you squint your eyes mirthfully in disbelief. You wonder if this is just a funny coincidence, if this is the universe playing her tricks, but you know deep down, that coincidences and Gojo Satoru don’t belong in the same sentence. 

You open your mouth to speak, but quickly close it when you see the waiter approaching from the corner of your eye. He greets the both of you with a polite smile, then sets down two glasses of water. 

“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for the night,” he says, placing a menu in front of you, “Can I get you fine folks started off with a bottle of wine?” 

Satoru nods, tells him to bring the best bottle of red they have and then gestures for him to come closer so that he can whisper something in his ear. All the while, you sit back in your seat observing, clicking your nails on the table until the server pulls back and bows. 

When he departs, you immediately lean in over the table, and ask, “Just how much time did you have to plan all of this?” 

Satoru feigns aloofness, taking a sip of his water, “What do you mean?” 

You roll your eyes, gesturing at the stage with your eyes. Then, as if suddenly coming to a realization, he goes, “Oh, that? Yeah, I had nothing to do with that. But isn’t it funny they’re playing our old song?” 

Now he’s smirking, with his elbow leaning back on the chair, and a gaze so piercing, you’re certain you’ll crumble into nothing unless you look away. So you do, avert your gaze back to the stage and sway calmly. 

Is that any way for a man to carry on

Do you think I want my loved one gone

Said I love you

More than you’ll ever know

More than you’ll ever know

“So funny,” you counter. 

Eventually, the server comes back with a bottle. “1982 Chateau Latife Rothschild,” he holds it out to present, “Is this alright?” 

Despite the years spent with Satoru, and the many elitist events you often attended with him, your knowledge on wine had never surpassed anything but surface level. You knew the difference between good wine and cheap wine was the taste, but your taste buds had grown accustomed to store-bought, so if anything, store-bought tasted like heaven to you. Anyway, though, you nod your head and urge him to pour a glass. 

“Thank you,” you smile, before gently swirling the glass and bringing it up to your nose to smell (something you only know to do after being the odd man out at so many company banquets). Satoru waits for you to sip your glass before he sips his. The way you melt into your seat is a silent assurance that you’re pleased. 

“This is great, you’re amazing,” you tell the server, who seems pleased by your compliment. 

“Glad to be of service, miss. Are you ready to order?” 

Dinner goes by smoothly. In fact, it goes by so smoothly, you and Satoru finish the entire bottle of wine. Now you sit at the table, bellies full, faces flushed and sore from laughing, and now you find yourself telling him about the grocery store incident. If you had half a mind (a sober one), you’d shut up right this second to save yourself from the embarrassment. But you don’t. And Satoru’s very persuasive when you’re tipsy. 

“Keep going,” he leans in, hand nestled under his chin. He’s completely invested in the story. Actually, as soon as he heard the words ‘store’ and ‘cute guy’, he just had to know more. And you begging him to change the subject didn’t help, not when the sadist in him loved to see you so embarrassed. 

“Fine,” you hiccup, “It was so - so bad, Toru.” He doesn’t miss the way you slip and call him by the nickname you’d always reserved for him. It makes his heart race, and god, does he miss the way it sounds spilling from your lips. But he ignores the feeling, and refocuses on your story instead. Which, by the way, was proving to be a task in itself because his eyes couldn’t stop drifting back down to your lips. So soft, so–

“And then she said ‘we don’t believe in rings,’” you whisper, fist coming down on the table. The sound it makes nearly sobers you up, and you realize just how loud you’re being despite your table being secluded from others. Giggling like a kid, you continue, “I mean, how fucking insane is that?!” 

“Something as bizarre as that could only ever happen to you,” he replies, laughing along with you, “those people were crazy.” 

“The craziest,” you agree, throwing your head back in another fit of laughter. Gradually, the two of you begin to settle down, and once again, you find your attention being drawn back to the man on the stage. Only this time, he’s making an announcement.

“Good evening ladies and gentleman. Tonight I’ve got a special request,” he says, looking out into the audience. Looking at you. “This one’s for a very special lady who, from what I’ve been told, is a great mother that needs to start doing things for herself.” 

The singer steps out of the spotlight and hands the note to a server. Your server. Then he begins to sing, and your heart drops into the pit of your stomach. It was your wedding song. 

[...] I don’t even know how to love you

Just the way you want me to

But I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)

Yes, I’m ready (ready) to learn (to learn)

“Now this one? This one was me,” Satoru leans forward, and you swiftly turn your head to face him. He smiles as he watches your face go through ten different emotions before ultimately softening. It warms your heart to see how incredibly planned this evening was, despite the amount of time he was given to work with. Even so, it kind of scares you–because then that meant this was a grand gesture–that this was his way of saying something. And you weren’t too sure if you wanted to hear it. Your gaze drops to your lap, and Satoru frowns. 

To fall in love 

To fall in love

To fall in love with you…

“Look at me,” he says softly, but you don’t. “Hey, look at me.” He reaches over the table to take your chin in between his fingers. The touch alone feels electric. Sends liquid hot lightning down the column of your spine. Reluctantly, you meet his gaze, and like always, it’s suffocating. They’re so wide with hope, and so, so gentle in the way they hold you. The longer you gaze upon them, the more you convince yourself it’ll be okay if you surrender to them. 

“It’s been years since we’ve divorced,” his voice is shaky, almost strained, like he’s actively thinking how to choose his words carefully, “and when we sat down that night, I thought it was what I wanted, too, you know? And for a while, it was,” he reaches a hand across the table to rest atop your own, “but you gotta know…you gotta know–you’re it for me. There’s no one else on this Earth that I want to start over with. You’ve always been the beginning and end of my story, and I’ll be damned if I let another man start one with you.”

Your heart is beating faster than you can even process what he’s saying. The only thing you’re focused on is not passing out in the middle of this damn restaurant. But then he’s squeezing your hand, and your focus is drawn back to those piercing, pale blues that even put crystals to shame. 

“So what do you say?” he says, so softly, so tender. “Can we try again?”

Waiting for your reply, he squeezes your hand again. It’s like your soul is wandering the line between death and the living, and his touch is the tether that brings you back. In the background, the tune of the song sung at your wedding gives you a push of courage. 

I don’t even know how to kiss your lips (kiss your lips)

At a moment like this

But I’m going to learn how to do 

All the things you want me to

Yes, I’m ready

(Are you ready?) Yes, I’m ready

To fall in love

To fall in love

To fall in love right now

“Yes.”

The walk back to the car is hurried. Aided by both, years and years of built up tension, and the liquid courage currently bubbling in your systems. 

The race back to his apartment is even faster. You thank the gods silently that it’s within close proximity to where you just were. 

Once you get there, make your way past the doorman and concierge (who both give the two of you a knowing look), go up the elevator, and finally get into his loft–it’s over. Years of restraint, years of pretending, wanting–yearning, come crashing down. 

There’s barely any time to close the door before he’s pushing you against it. His lips trail down the column of your neck, then come up to kiss your jaw, until eventually, they find your lips. And when they do, it’s instantaneous–that familiar feeling, the feeling that feels almost like falling. 

Once again, for what felt like centuries, you feel again the rush of helplessness. The push and pull of the tide. It brings you down, down, down to the bottom of the ocean floor, and it’s unmerciful. 

Kissing Satoru is like being shocked with ten thousand volts of energy. Like all this time you’ve spent not kissing him, has been costing you your life, and he’s the only one who can deliver you salvation. It’s all teeth and tongue for a minute. Messy, and sticky, and nasty. A true testament to the desperation brewing in the pits of both your stomachs. 

The sensation of it all has your knees going slack, and that’s when he says–

“Jump.” 

Obeying, you do just that. Jump right into his arms, and wrap your legs around his torso like you’ve done so many times before. The way you feel now is the way you used to feel before then, too. Like you were made to fit like this. To be held in his arms like you were molded from the same clay. 

Carefully, he adjusts his grip on your body. Keeps his palms planted on the bottoms of your ass, and begins the trek to his room. He struggles a bit getting there because you haven’t stopped kissing since entering the apartment, but he figures it out after a stumble or two (which resulted in a bitten lip and you apologizing profusely through giggles). 

“The turbulence up here is crazy, don’t blame me, blame the pilot,” you jest, kissing down his neck to make up for it. 

“I’ll make sure to let him know,” he jokes back. As soon as he gets to the bed, he sets you down at the edge of the bed. You try to bring him down to your height but he stops you, wags his finger in your face playfully before using it to push you back into the bed. His fingers start to play with the fabric of your dress, and then his face takes on an indifferent expression. The same one from earlier that night when he first saw you walking down the stairs. 

“Can’t believe you were gonna wear this for him…” he trails, lifting the fabric up slowly, eyeing you while doing so, “as if this dress doesn’t mean something.” 

Of course, when Shoko chose it, its significance did make you falter–but in your defense, not once did you ever anticipate for him to see you in it. And you especially didn’t expect for him to remember it, the last time you wore it was almost a decade ago. 

“I didn’t…” you start, a smile creeping on your lips, “think you remembered?”

“‘Course I did, how could I not?” He says more sharply than intended, taking offense. He takes offense because he spent the better half of the night showing you he remembered. The little things and everything else in between. Couldn’t you see that?

“It was our 4th anniversary. Bought you this dress and fucked you in it that same night. Funny how the second time I’m seeing you in this dress, the circumstances are the same except only this time we’re divorced,” he says, crawling over your body. “Guess I gotta show you just how much I remember.” 

With that, he slips a hand under your dress, pulls your panties to the side and runs a finger down your slit. Oh-so-willingly, do you spread your legs for him. It’s almost subconscious, the way your body responds to him. And he revels in it. Lets his fingers work you, feel you, bring you to ecstasy. Then he heightens your pleasure tenfold when he kisses his way down your body, and takes a seat before you on his knees. 

Unceremoniously, he pulls your body to the edge of the bed. Takes his time slipping your panties down the length of your legs, then kisses the insides of your thighs, before finally stopping at your mound. 

Slowly, he lowers himself to your cunt, kisses your clit softly. Once, twice, three times. The pace in which he’s moving is killing you, to say the least. But you know he’s savoring the moment, making up for all the years he spent not kneeling like this between your legs. So you let him; let him caress you all over before he comes seeking the honey-sweet salvation dripping from your core. 

The second his tongue makes contact with your heat, you find yourself clamping a heavy hand over your mouth. “Fuck, Toruuuu,” you drawl, back arching off the bed. Pleased with his abilities, he smiles smugly, using this as an opportunity to push himself even deeper. Up and down, he licks at your slit, uses his fingers in tandem with his tongue to prod at that spongy spot he knows you love. 

“Tastes,” a harsh suck, “so good,” another, “better than I remember.” 

You know he’s talking, but his words fall on deaf ears. You’re so caught up in your own high, you don’t even take notice of the obscene sloshing sounds coming from your pussy, or the moans you’re making. All you can do is lay there and take it as he takes, and takes, and takes from you. 

Soon, you find your orgasm cutting through you like a knife, and you come with a strangled cry that has you biting back tears. Satoru talks you through the whole thing. He lays his head down on your thigh and continues working you with his fingers until you start to shake from the overstimulation. 

For a few, you lay and stare at the ceiling. You think you can see the Milky Way–and all the constellations that make it up. It feels like your soul is floating beyond your physical body, and you don’t come back down to Earth until a sharp, stinging sensation brings you back. Did he just?

“Did you just bite me?” you lift your head, peering down to see the evidence. In all its glory, there it was; a red ring smack-dab in the inside of your thigh with teeth imprints. Looking at Satoru, he grins. 

“Had to get you back from earlier,” he says, sitting back on his knees. You attempt to kick him with your foot, but he grabs hold of it. Pretending to be wounded, he gasps, “Is this how you treat the man who just gave you a soul-shattering orgasm?” 

You roll your eyes, but to your dismay, it only encourages him to continue. 

“Fuck, Toru,” he mimics, “oh my god, Toru. You fuck me so goo–”

“Alright, enough!” you manage to kick him this time, laughing as you bring up your hands to cover your face. “Keep carrying on like that and I won’t let you fuck me…” You’re serious in your bite, but he’s smirking. Like he knows you’re full of bullshit. 

“Yeah right. You and I both know I make you feel too good.” 

Feeling bested, you scoff, though, there’s no real weight behind it. While he begins to remove his shirt, you sit up and replace his hands. He relinquishes control and allows you to unbutton it until the item falls haphazardly to the floor. 

He’s so beautiful, you think. Still so chiseled, so perfect after all these years since you’ve last seen him like this. At his most vulnerable. The only difference now is that there are more freckles littered across his skin. Back then, he’d say they were signs of aging, and he’d hate them. 

But he’s older now. More mature. So much so that he even winks at you when you trace your fingertips over them.

“They suit you,” you whisper. 

“Yeah?”

You nod your head, “mhm.” 

Continuing your ministrations, you begin removing his belt. He holds your gaze the entire time it takes for you to unzip his pants and pull them down–and he doesn’t once shy away when you discover the wet spot on the front of his briefs. Slowly, delicately, you remove the soiled item and let it fall down to the floor with the rest of his clothes. 

Still looking at him, you take hold of his length and fist him once, twice, experimentally. A dribble of pre oozes from his slit and you bring it to your mouth. All the air in his lungs expel into the air when you lick it off with your tongue, and god, he thinks he could come from that alone. 

God, he’s missed you. Missed your touch, your lips–the way you hold him with your eyes like he’s something worth being gentle with. Nothing could ever compare to you, not even his own hand. 

As soon as you’re about to take him in your mouth, he stops you. Pushes you back down onto the bed and slots himself between your legs. “No more playing, I’m tired of playing,” he breathes, lowering himself down until half of his weight is on top of you. 

Guiding his cock to your entrance, he pushes past your folds with little resistance. The feeling of your cunt squeezing him in has his arms wobbling like jelly, but he musters enough strength somehow to stay up. You, on the other hand, are close to tears. 

The more he eases himself in, the more you feel like you’re being stretched open (despite him previously prepping you). If you were being truthful, this wasn’t a complete shock to you. You’ve known that he’s always been big, but something about tonight feels different. Or maybe it’s just been too long since you’ve had something more than just your own fingers. 

Even so, you try your best to ignore the burn of the stretch. You throw your arms around his neck and invite him deeper into you, hooking your legs around him so tightly that it renders his limbs useless. For a minute, all you can feel is the weight of him inside of you, and his chest against yours as they rise and fall asynchronously. 

“Toru,” your voice is just barely above a whisper, but enough to make the hairs on the nape of his neck stand. “Make love to me.” 

Heeding your request, he begins moving. Painfully slow, he unsheathes himself from you until only the head of his cock is inside, then pushes himself all the way back in with force. Again, and again, he repeats this motion. Pulls out, pushes in. Pulls out, pushes in, until he decides to increase his pace and set a steady rhythm. 

Every thrust into you is meticulously calculated. Sharp, and forceful, and not once does he disrupt the rhythm. He listens carefully to the sounds you make. Even listens to the way your breath hitches when he hits a spot right. Everything he’s doing is perfect–and it’s to no surprise. Deep down, you know that Satoru knows your body like the back of his hand. He’d know it if you were all old and wrinkly. He’d know it if his soul reincarnated. Hell, he’d know it blind. 

“Missed this,” he grunts, burying his head into the interstice of your neck, “missed you,” a kiss to your neck, “missed us.” 

The veracity of his words render you speechless. He’s already professed his feelings for you tonight, but it feels even more real now that you’re beneath him. To be loved by Gojo Satoru was a feeling many couldn’t say they had the consolation of knowing. Only a few in his circle could hold that position–but only one person in this world could truly ever know his love to its fullest extent. You. 

Satoru continues his mindless rambling, “I love you,” a thrust, “it’s always been you,” another, “was always going to be you.” Leaning back on his heels, he pushes your dress all the way up to reveal your breasts. Now it’s him who sits back and admires this time. As if he were reacquainting himself, he traces the planes and pastures of your chest with an eager hand. He runs it up and over each mound, squeezing and kneading the flesh experimentally. 

Then, he dips down and kisses the space between them. Sucks and licks until the skin bruises, and he has evidence to prove tonight actually happened. Eventually, he withdraws from your chest and returns his focus on easing his cock in and out of your cunt. 

“So beautiful,” he says, but it’s more to himself than anything. You’re so lost in your own pleasure, he doesn’t even think you can hear him. “Want you to cum on my cock, know you can do it, baby. Know you can,” he grunts, taking your hand and intertwining it with his own. Letting his head fall into your neck, he begins to quicken his pace. Fucks into you with everything he’s got and willing to give. 

“Toru,” you finally manage to say, “‘m so close, keep going. Do it - do it inside.” 

Do it inside. Do it inside. Do it inside. The thought is tempting, too tempting. It makes his dick twitch inside of you, and he swears if you say it again, he’ll actually do it. But he knows better than to listen to anything you say out of delirium. 

“Trust me, sweet girl,” he cradles your face, to which you lean into, “I want to - I want to so fucking badly. But we both know you’d regret it later.” 

Whining, your lips form into a pout, and the sight is so cute, he can’t help but to kiss it off of you. Compared to your kiss earlier, this one is much sweeter. Slower. More relaxed. He kisses you with the intent of making you dizzier than you already are, and it’s scary. Even so, you don’t pull away. You allow him to drink you up. Like your lips are the only source of water around, and he’s been quenched for days. 

Finally, with a few more thrusts, you reach your climax. The pressure building in the pit of your belly pops like a balloon, and everything goes white. “Toru!” you shriek, arching off the bed and trembling in his grasp. 

Using your arch as leverage, he keeps his hands underneath your back and continues to ram into you without abandon. You’re a babbling, wet mess at this point, and your cunt squeezing around him only encourages him more. 

“Fuckfuckfuck, ‘m gonna - ‘m gonna,” he curses, balls beginning to tighten. Quickly, he unsheathes himself and fists himself the rest of the way. With an impassioned moan, he climaxes–spurting thick, white, ropes of seed all over your abdomen. Then, falls onto your limp body with a grunt, chest heaving rapidly, and slick with perspiration. 

By this time, you’ve settled down enough to form a proper sentence. “That was…”

Satoru huffs, catching his breath. “Yeah.” 

Still spent, he continues to lay atop you. And you, having nowhere else to go, let him. The two of you lay comfortably in silence like this for a long time. Just you tracing shapes into his back, and him purring into your neck. Both of you know you should be getting up, but neither of you make an effort to do so. In this moment, time is transcendent. There is no rush to move when time stands still for you. 

Soon, that silence is broken. 

“I love you,” you say, and there’s no elaboration. Not even a recant. In fact, you say it so nonchalantly, he’s not even sure it was real. You say it like you’ve never been more certain in your life, like it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever had to do. 

“Really?” he queries, almost pathetically like the mere idea of you loving him is something unattainable. You look at him like he’s got two heads. 

“Yeah, you’re my best friend. I’ve always loved you,” you admit, pausing your ministrations on his back, “I just had to relearn how to love you.” He smiles at this, hums into your neck to keep from crying. 

“I’m glad we found our way back to each other,” he mumbles into your neck, “so where do we go from here?”

“From here we take it slow. We’ll learn together what it means to be individuals, and then from there we’ll see where it goes,” you say matter-of-factly, “no more repeating past mistakes.”

“Agreed,” he nods, “what will we tell the girls?”

That’s when your eyes widen and you sit up, forcefully pushing Satoru off of you. 

“What did I say, what’s wrong?” he queries, sitting up on the bed. He watches you rummage around the room maniacally, head on a swivel as you run out of the room and return with a purse. You pull your phone out to see a slew of missed calls and messages. 

“We forgot to call the girls!” You yell, showing him your phone screen of missed calls. Gojo jumps up to join you, one leg already sliding into his pants. 

“Shit!” 

Noticing the state of your appearance, you pinch the skin between your brows. “Satoru, I can’t wear this! You got cum all over it,” you groan, pointing to all the splotches of white. He tells you to wait a second before disappearing into his closet, then he comes back with a fist of clothes and throws it at you. 

“I can’t wear this either, they’ll wonder why I’m wearing your clothes!” 

Satoru runs to you and pull the dress off of your body, “We’ll wash it!” he screams, disappearing again out of the room, and to where you imagine, the laundry room. When he returns, he’s out of breath and panting. It’s only then do you realize how insane he looks with half his shirt buttoned, and his pants twisted around his hips. A giggle escapes your lips.

“What are you laughing at? Chop chop,” he claps, ushering you into his bathroom. 

Yeah, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss this idiot.

comments + reblogs very appreciated !!!

© arachine 2023

[drexee]

I’m dead tired but my brain!!!! My brain!!! It won’t leave me alone with these thoughts for Raph🥺🤧

So here’s quick sleeping headcanons for Big Red as I try to convince myself to go to sleep.

Bayverse Raph x gn!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, spelling maybe?

Donnie | Leo | Mikey

Raph Sleep HCs

His bed is large. Huge, even.

As soon as he was able to get his own room away from Mikey, he took advantage of it. He loves his little brother, but mannnn does he need his own space.

The bed takes up a pretty good portion of his room, but it still leaves a good amount of walking space for him

Raph likes to have his bed somewhat firm with a bit of give to it. Semi firm, semi plush. Right in the middle.

He has a solid two (2) pillows on his bed. One firm and one soft, both king. He’s a heathen who doesn’t care

His blanket is very large and used to be nice, but it has a bit of wear and tear on it due to the many years of use

He does have a throw blanket that he keeps around (which he knitted himself thank you very much) , but usually uses it for when he’s out in the living area and resting on the couch to watch a movie or something

Raphael prefers to sleep on his stomach due to his shell and him usually not having the care nor the pillows to properly support him and keep him from rolling over

When you’re in bed with him, he’ll have you tucked into the space in between the lip of his shell and the bed

leg hitched up in between your own and arm wrapped around your middle to hold you to him, his other arm tucked up under his pillow and head

Usually, he has his hand nestled closely to you and palming your chest,

He tells you it’s for you to hold on to because he knows you like to grip onto things while you sleep, but also it’s to reassure you (and him) that you are safe and protected

But also he just likes to sap as much heat from you as he can

And also you’re soft and he can feel your heart and he loves it but he never said that🤫

Another thing he really likes about this position is how he’s able to easily bury his snout into the top of your head and just breathe you in

He doesn’t churr in his sleep, but he does the moments just before and he’ll be nearly shaking the bed because he absolutely loves that you’re there with him, and it fades out the deeper he goes into sleep

He does snore, but it’s not as bad as Mikey

Raph has more of a light rumble, and it can sooth you to sleep, but if you don’t like it, just shake him a bit

He’ll huff but will readjust, pull you closer, and knock back out lol

He doesn’t move around too much in his sleep, may shift his legs a bit, but once he’s out, he’s out. Dead weight

And mans Is H E A V Y.

Yes, having his arm around you like that is very grounding and nice, but he’s NOT letting you go 😮‍💨

At that point he’s not even doing it on purpose

So please prepare for this and go to the bathroom before you get in the bed with him!

Otherwise you have to wake him up and you’ll have a very grumpy and grumbly turtle on your hands!

When you come back, he’ll wrap you up in his space even more than before you left

But it’s ok bc he’s the softest for you right when he wakes up in the morning and he sees you next to him!

Raph wakes up relatively early, but he’ll snuggle back into you and let the moment last a little bit longer or until you start to wake up

He loves it so much

And there we have it!! My very first set of headcanons!

‘Til next time!!

[imababblekat]

Big Red's Big Secret

Anon Request, "Hey! Im new to your blog and im pretty sure your requests are open, i was wondering how the turtles react to Raph having a secret s/o. Like he had been acting suspicious and they followed him and they saw him go to a person’s apartment and like do couple stuff ig? I hope i was clear enough ty have a good day/night✨"

~xXx~

“So yeah, this is (y,n), my partner. (Y,n), my brothers.”

A silence, thick as a brick wall, befell amongst the ninja turtles and single human that stood beside Raphael. He swore he hadn’t been followed, made extra sure and took extra ways to get to your place just to be safe. Perhaps, Raph had been exhausted from the recent missions him and his brothers had been busy accomplishing, or he was just too eager to see you after having not in a while, that he had not been as observant of his six as he’d thought. Whichever the reason for his slip up, it was too late to dwell on now, as his brothers who had followed him after having acting suspicious discovered the reason the red clad ninja had been going on so many “solo patrols”. That reason being you, who tensely stood behind him with six pairs of eyes completely focused on your presence.

It wasn’t till the biggest of smiles and a loud, excited “oh my gosh” bellowed from Mikey, that any tension in the room seemed to disparate.

“I’m Michelangelo, Raph’s favorite sibling of course, but you can call me Mikey!”

The youngest was just as you had imagined from the details described to you by your loving turtle, his smile contagious as you felt your own lips break into one to match. You couldn’t help but lightly giggle as Mikey’s furious handshake caused you to almost topple to the side, had Raph not been there to stable you.

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

Releasing your hands, Mikey was quick to jump into asking you a million questions, some of which left Raphael feeling a tad bit embarrassed.

“What’s your favorite pizza topping?! Do you play video games?! If so, what’s your favorite game?! Oh! Did you know that Raph sometimes talks in his sleep and if you ask him something he’ll actually answer?!”

“Okay-“, Donnie quickly intervened, seeing his red banned brother quickly glare with embarrassment, moving to step in front of the youngster before he said something that would get him into trouble.

“Stop hogging Mikey, let the rest of us say hi. I’m Donatello, but every one just calls me Donnie or Don for short.”

You stared with wide eyes up at the giant before you. Sure Raph had said he wasn’t the tallest of his siblings, but you hadn’t imagined one them to be this towering. Still with a big smile, you shook Donnie’s offered hand, a twinkle of mischief dancing in your eyes.

“Raph never answers this question, so do you mind telling me how the weather is up there?”

Donnie smirked, subconsciously straightening his posture to appear taller before sassily replying.

“Quite nice actually. You’re pretty funny, I like that.”

You smirked with shrug, playfully nudging Raphael’s side.

“Thanks, Raph says my humor is his favorite quality.”

Raphael as a response shook his head, eyes rolling with a small smirk, hand grabbing for the sleeve of the arm you bumped him with to pull you closer. He watched you interact with Donnie and Mikey, a warm feeling through out him as laughs and playful jester bounded between the trio. That was until, the clearing of one’s throat, cut into everyone’s attention.

Standing awkwardly back from the group, still just outside the open windowsill, was Leonardo. The anxiety and tension of earlier came rushing back to Raphael, swallowing a lump that had formed in his throat. Your eyes darted between the two, feeling a strong tenseness float in like a dense fog.

Just like with Mikey and Donnie, Raphael had told you lots about Leonardo. Yes, some of it had been during times the two would get into it, but it hadn’t all been negative. Some of it were things he’d never confess to the leader in blue, such as only ever having wanting to make him proud. Other times he’d remanences over good moments or adventures the two shared. Over all, it was a complicated relationship, especially when the two were younger, but what you knew for sure, was that Raphael truly loved his eldest brother.

Gently squeezing the hand that still held your sleeve, you offered Raphael a comforting smile.

The leader in blue was caught by surprise when a human hand had extended into his field of view, Leo's eyes following up the hands arm to meet your kind filled gaze.

“You must be Leonardo. It’s nice to finally meet you.”, you greeted, hand still opened towards him.

Truth be told, Leo was just as nervous as Raphael about this unexpected meeting. Yes, he was a little angry that Raph went behind his family’s back. However, he was secretly more hurt that his brother felt the need to keep such an important thing a secret. While he supposed it was to happen as he, especially in the past, would not have reacted so well to things Raphael would sometimes do, Leo worried that said brother had lost trust in him.

Leonardo looked between your open hand and back to your smiling face, before focusing on his hot headed brother in your living room. He was glaring, but Leo knew Raphael better than anyone, and could see the nervousness that swam in his hazel eyes. Obviously this was not the ideal way he’d planned on having the two of you meet, but it’s how it happened. Yet, where it was his brother who extended theirs hands to you, you were the one to extend you hand in friendly greeting towards Leo.

Finally, Leonardo reached for your hand, giving it a gentle shake, unaware of the weight that seemed to evaporate from Raphael’s stiffened shoulders.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, I apologize for the sudden intrusion. I hope we didn’t scare you.”, Leo apologetically greeted, rubbing the back of his head feeling a bit shy.

You shrugged once more, still holding a kind smile.

“Don’t worry about it, you didn’t frighten me at all, but how about you come inside. It must be freezing out there, plus I just finished making some cookies.”

Leo smiled at your kindness, thanking you for your offer and stepping into your warm home as he watched Mikey excitedly follow you to the kitchen for the sweet baked goods, Donnie following close behind. He’d only just met you, but Leonardo could instantly see how it was that Raphael fell for you. Despite the slight ache still present in his chest, Leonardo was grateful that someone so compassionate as you were the one to hook his brothers heart.

As he and Raphael made way to follow after you and his two youngest siblings, Leo gave the later a good pat on the shoulder, a warm and happy smile thrown his way.

“You did good, bro.”

Raphael, feeling lighter then he’d ever had, seeing the person he loved most in life now be apart of his family, wrapped an arm around Leonardo's shell with an equally comfortable and joyous smile.

“Thanks, Leo.”

~xXx~

[gyll-yee-haw]

maria, don’t get me wrong, I love soft & sweet donnie… but like… dare I ask…. mean…and…rough donnie? 👀

also huge props to you for pushing out so many fics!! so glad to have you back ml 💗

Hmmm yeah? He sure can do that too!

(Thank you so much, honey!! I'm so happy to be back ❤)

Warnings: very mean!dom!Donnie, teasing in public, slapping, pussy slapping, degradation, unprotected sex, creampie

Like 1k words.

---

Donnie is mean. He's mean to his parents, to his sister, to his dick-head friends, to his teachers... he has quite a sharp tongue when replying to something he judges to be stupid, which isn't rare.

Oh but when it comes to you, he's a totally different person. He's sweet, caring, always speaks calmly and looks at you like you were the prettiest, most shinny and fragil crystal in the world. At least until you learnt how to push the right buttons. I mean... you loved your sweet boyfriend, but your body craves something more sometimes...

And when it did, all you had to do was tease him. Unzipping his pants under the school desk is a classic. Your hand sliding inside his pants slowly, only to get him hard, but never to get him off... he went all red everytime. Or maybe you would be extra nice to another boy in front of him. Or just act bratty, giving him an attitude in front of everyone. Any of these will work.

Any of these will get his fingers wrapped tightly around your arm as he pushed you inside his room, fuming.

"Ouch, Donnie..." you would complain. But it was too late now.

"Sit down and shut the fuck up."

As soon as you sat on the bed, he would lift your skirt up and brutally tear your underwear off. You never wore panties you liked too much on days you woke up willing to piss him off, a lesson you learnt the hard way.

"You're such a whore." He pretended to be disappointed, running two fingers through your folds. "Look how fucking wet you get only by disrespecting me. And you want me to believe you fucking love me."

"But I love you, Donnie..." You moaned as his fingers entered you at once.

"Thought I told you to shut the fuck up." He removed his fingers as quickly as he shoved them in. Next thing you heard was a loud slap. It was unexpected... he had never slapped your pussy before. It made you close your legs immediately. He didn't seem to like that very much.

He forced your legs open and gave you another slap. You bit your lip to stop a scream for coming out. He slapped again and your eyes rolled back.

"Whore." He repeated, bitting back a smirk. "On all fours, now."

You didn't think twice before obeying.

"You want my cock?" He grabbed your ass cheeks, squeezing them hard.

"Yes, Donnie, please..." You begged nicely, afraid he would punish you again.

"It doesn't seem like you do." He chuckled, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his underwear. "The way you've been acting... you don't fucking deserve it."

"Just..." You tried explaining yourself as you heard him start stroking his cock behind you. "Just like it when you're mean. It's why I do it."

"Like it when I'm mean?" He gave your ass a loud slap. "You know what would be mean? If I didn't fuck you at all. If I didn't even touch you."

"No! Please, Donnie..." You felt your pussy clench around nothing, absolutely desperate.

"Yeah, it's a shame I want you too bad to be able to do that." He admitted. You felt him teasing the tip of his cock at your entrance.

The relief as you felt him entering you slowly, inch by inch, made you arch your back and moan like a porn star. You already got him mean and horny, now it was all about being good, so he would let you cum.

The thing is that he used 100% of his patience already, so he wasn't going to be gentle now. His thrusts started deep and fast and it hurt quite a bit. At least until he found that sweet spot, that turned the pain into shivers down your spine.

"You wanted me to be mean, now you take it." His hands grabbed your hips, forcing your body against his as if he just couldn't fuck you hard enough.

At that point, it was all you could do: take it. Just lie there offering your hole for him to use. Moaning against the mattress, more afraid of annoying him than of what the neighbors would hear. At that moment there weren't neighbors, there was only Donnie, his grunts and his huge cock making you stupid.

"Donnie..." you cried out. "I'm gonna..."

"I don't care." He interrupted you, he's movements losing rythm. "But you better hurry up if you want to cum, because once I'm finished, I don't want to hear you whining anymore."

You gripped the sheets as tightly as your pussy squeezed his cock. He cursed under his breath, trying to hold his own orgasm back. He really fucking cared. He wanted you to cum so badly. And you did. Fuck, you did. So hard. Squeezing him so good. He had no choice but to spill his seed deep inside of you.

Mean Donnie will give you mindblowing sex every single time. But as soon as his balls are empty, he's back to the sweet boyfriend he is. Keeping that character with you is more exhausting than pounding you.

He would beg you not to do it again... beg you to be good for him, as he cuddled you afterwards. Give you kisses and take care of your shaking body. But unfortunately, he fucked you too good, now there will have to be a next time. :(

[oozedninjas]

Heyyyy I was wondering if you could do how the boys realize they're in love with you and how they react to said realization? Maybe even how long they'd take to confess??

Sorry if that's too much in one go or if you've already done it, ily and I love your writing <3

These are technically two requests so I'll just stick to "How they realize they're in love" if that's okay :)

MDNI / Turtle guys are mid to late twenties

BAYVERSE GUYS REALIZING THEY'RE IN LOVE

---

Leonardo:

Once he notices, Leo would carefully consider the implications that come with romantic emotions and reflect upon whether or not he's willing to go through what it entails to give himself to someone.

He would make sure this isn't just a fleeting thing before making any decisions on acting upon those feelings. Once he does, he'll drop little hints that surpass obviousness.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't that he is not brave enough to make the moves; it's just that he assumes that what he has to offer is little and prefers to give you all the signs. This way, if you want a relationship with him, you have the necessary tools to let him see that you do want to be courted.

Donatello:

Donnie's sharp enough to recognize what he's feeling the moment he discerns those exquisite tingles in his chest as something beyond just excitement. Yet, like the reserved creature that he is, digesting such emotions and coming to terms with them is… another thing entirely.

I think he would tough it out for the most part. Often bombarded by intrusive thoughts of a negative reaction on your side if you were to find out. His mind plays tricks on him, making him daydream about delightful dates with you, followed by the voice of mockery asserting that could never come to happen.

He has to be realistic. It isn't logical that someone as beautiful and brilliant as you are would risk being with a non-human creature who's not even biologically compatible with you. No, he's better off as your friend.

Raphael:

He knows what he feels for you; however, he refuses to accept it in his heart (or in front of anyone else, for that matter) because it would be too painful not to be reciprocated. Nevertheless, as his feelings for you grow, so do the desires to protect you and keep you safe and secure. This makes it difficult for him to conceal his true feelings to a sharp, tenacious eye as your own.

If he comes to confess his feelings, Raphael would strive to balance his rough exterior with moments of tenderness, as he recognizes the importance of displaying his softer side to achieve more deepening emotional connections.

Mikey

Mikey's excitement and eagerness to be around you would give him away in the blink of an eye. It's cute because he holds this "We should totally date! Haha, joking, joking... UNLESS!" attitude all the time.

I think he would express his feelings in a joyful, creative form. You can expect an outpouring of artistic expressions: drawings, poems, or spontaneous acts of affection.

I think Mike's the one with a higher rate of emotional intelligence; many lessons he's learned across his journey, and in his adult years, it's easier for him to establish his limits and boundaries. With this in mind, I think he would ponder if it's worth potentially ruining his friendship with you. If the answer is yes, he goes with everything he's got.

[greensbeanspotatoestomatoes]

@lara-cairncross I hope you don’t mind, but I wrote a little fic about your AU :) This would be Donnie showing his brace to his brothers after his leap of faith.

(Also you can definitely read Donnie & Kendra’s vibes as a crush if you want /pos 😂)

===========

“Gentlemen, if you would be so kind,” Donnie motions for his brothers to take a seat on the chairs he clearly positioned near the edge of the branch.

“Dee, what are we doing here?” Leo sighs, exasperated by his brother’s dramatics, “You know I love spending time with you guys, but I actually have deliveries to make today.”

Raph throws an arm over Leo’s shoulders, “Pssh, relax Leo, you’re fast enough to make it there in time.”

“Ok I know you’re teasing me,” Leo shoots his brother a side eye, before crossing his arms over his chest in defiance, “but I could definitely make it there and back. With time to spare.”

Mikey laughs while Raph just sighs and they all take their seats.

They’re fairly high up in the Pixie Dust Tree, in an area Leo knows not many fairies fly past. It’s starting to make him a little concerned that his jokes about Donnie murdering Kendra one day aren’t jokes anymore.

His brother woke them up early this morning, telling them that he had something to show them, but refusing to answer what it actually is. He also lugged a massive bag with him all the way here, but didn’t let any of them help with it. And the chairs being up here already proves that Donnie has clearly planned this out. It’s really making Leo believe that this is the last he’s ever going to see of Kendra.

“Yes, yes we all know Leon is fast,” Donnie bats the statement away and turns to his bag, “now if I can bring your attention to why I've brought you here today.”

“Which you still haven't explained, by the way,” Mikey grouches, not quite his sunny self in the dim light of the morning.

Donnie grins in a mischievous way, “All part of the surprise, dear Angelo! Now I need you all to close your eyes.”

Leo rolls his eyes, but closes them anyway, knowing that if he complains they’ll just spend longer up here anyway. “Donald, if you did something to Kendra, just tell us, it’ll make hiding the body easier.”

Mikey snickers beside him.

“I– Wha– No! I haven't done anything to Kendra. Not yet anyway,” Donnie moves on quickly, “I made something and you’re going to like it. Trust me.”

Now, most fairies in the Hidden Hollow are under the impression that Donnie doesn’t do feelings, an achieved product of his so called “Emotionless Bad-Boy Image”. But Leo can hear the excitement in his brother’s voice. He’s fiddling with something in the bag, and the suspense is honestly starting to have an effect on Leo. He’s getting excited too.

“And… open!”

He opens his eyes (Still semi prepared to see Kendra trapped in some kind of way) and is a little confused by what he’s presented with. Donnie is standing near the edge of the branch. His wings, usually down, are spread proudly on either side of him. The tattered one is covered in something Leo can’t quite make out.

Donnie shoots them a smile, and Leo hears a whisper that sounds like “Leap of faith,” and then the tinker fairy drops backwards off the branch and out of sight.

“DONNIE!!” Mikey screams, and Raph leaps out of his chair but Leo, Leo just dives. There's no thoughts about windspeed, hawks, humidity or any of the other things Leo normally has to consider when he flies. There’s no thoughts about how stupid his genius of a brother is, or about how if he isn’t fast enough Donnie might—. No, there is simply the need to move.

And move he does.

He drops like a stone from the height of the Tree, colours blurring past him as he streaks after his brother. His heart is pounding wildly, filled with shock and dread, urging himself to go faster, faster. He thinks he has tears in his eyes, but he tells himself that it’s just from flying at this speed.

He actually moves so fast he overshoots Donnie, who is very safely fluttering in the air.

“Donnie?” Leo rights himself immediately and shoots back up towards his brother. “Donnie! Haha!!” He zips a quick circle around his brother, trying to get his racing heart to calm down. He can see the thing on Donnie’s wing now. It’s a brace. The contraption covering his tattered wing is so delicate, clearly made by Donnie himself. Thin strips reach up the wing, acting as a scaffold for the pieces to stretch across, giving Donnie enough surface area to generate lift. He might not be into science like his brother, but he knows a thing or two about flying, and Donnie’s design is genius.

He’s so relieved it takes him a second to realise that they are still very much hovering above the ground which means, “Holy shit! You're flying!!”

He’s giddy with excitement, this is all he’s ever wanted for Donnie! Leo grabs him by the hands, and spins them in the air with joy. Donnie can clearly sense what Leo’s about to do because he panics and yells, “Nardo wait!” but it’s too late, because Leo tosses him upwards and crashes into him with a hug.

“Hahaha! This is amazing!”

“Ohmigosh! Donnie’s flying!”

Two more sets of arms encircle them. Their other brothers have caught up and Leo can feel in the tightness of his hug how Raph’s panic morphs into shock and then amazement.

“Yes, yes I can fly. Hurrah,” Donnie pats the back of Raph’s shoulder, “Although my wings are still delicate so…”

They all immediately release Donnie. And then Raph whacks him on the back of the head.

“You idiot! What were you thinking! You gave Raph a heart attack!”

“Well I’ve done the jump before so I know the brace works–”

“You WHAT?”

“ –I just needed to show you guys too.”

“Yeah but you could’ve warned us Dee.” Mikey pokes him in the shoulder, a hint of Doctor Delicate Touch peeking through.

Donnie shoots him a cheeky grin, “Where’s the fun in that?”

Leo’s amazed. He’s still chuckling. Of course Donnie would build himself a way to fly. Something as silly as a tattered wing was never going to stop him. It was only a matter of time.

========

Also not seen:

Donnie pretty much immediately sagging, because his wings aren’t used to flying for extended periods yet, and Raph hoisting him onto his shoulders to fly them back to the tree.

========

Anyways hope you enjoyed! Go give Lara’s AU a look. It’s amazing 🤩

[cutielights]

Tw: none

Rise! Boys x Spider Person! S/O

Leo

Incredibly whipped

He’s in love

You can stick to walls? That’s awesome. Bring him with you.

Brings you on patrols and such

Absolutely adores your spider suit

Spider senses? Extremely useful, but not around Leo

He’s getting into trouble so much that they constantly go off

Constantly makes spider jokes

He is genuinely thoroughly relieved that you don’t have eight legs, sticking to the average

Spiders have no bones, but humans do. The compromise? Extreme flexibility. Low-key freaked him out a bit

Raph

Likes your webs and combat style. Not so much the fact that they stick to him even if he barely touched it

Spiders can lift up to fifty times their body weight

You can lift him no problem

He found this out when you caught him after he got thrown by an unnamed villan

“Okay, I’m not freaking out. But, how are you holding me right now?”

He likes the feeling, not many people can lift him

Listen, he loves that you can take a few hits, move around NYC speedily and efficiently

But for the love of god- Stop. Scaling. Buildings.

He knows you can stick to walls. But he has a heart attack every time.

He’s found himself incredibly fond of your spider sense, taking a certain amount of stress off of him, even if it’s just a little

Donnie

Fascinated by you, every time you use your powers you can see him furiously taking notes out of the corner of your eye

You slept off a spider bite instead of going to the doctor?”

“Yes?”

“You’re incredibly lucky to be alive.”

“C’mon aren’t you over reacting?”

“IT WAS RADIOACTIVE HOW ARE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT?”

“It was like a year ago, chill.”

Runs consensual tests on you

Estimates what type of spider bit you

Tied between the need for knowledge, the fear of spiders, the love of his partner

Refuses to touch your webs, and he’s not sorry, not even if they happen to be purple

Mikey

Likes that you can stick your feet onto skateboards

Makes it ten times easier for you

Gets you to sling him into high places to do graffiti

Spider-Man kisses?

SPIDER-MAN KISSES!

Gets you to stick to the ceiling so you can jumpscare Donnie

Helps you with different suit designs, sure he’s more on the pallet side of things, but it’s still fun!

Asks if you have dietary restrictions, and therefore cannot eat pizza

You reminded him that you just have spider powers and not spider insides

Doodles spiders on your arms, in relatively the same places his own spots are, so you can match!

I wrote this in one sitting, easiest I’ve done in a while <3

[just-some-random-blogger]

Edge Of Ever After | 4

Part 1 2 3

Sandor runs his fingers down my spine and sighs, "everything I ever touch goes to shit." He grabs my hip and pulls me close. I turn to him and nestle my face into his chest. He traps me in his arms, "but you... you turn my shit into gold."

Sandor Clegane x Reader | 5k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, smut (piv, cunnilingus), mentions of pregnancy/fertility issues, sunshine x grump, enemies to lovers (to enemies ? HAHA), slow burn, angst, emotional unavailability, emotional vulnerability, horrible communication, fluff, typos, etc.

I wake up with laboured breath, with a severe tightness in my stomach. I grunt and shift, realizing promptly Sandor's arm was squeezing me.

"Sandor," I groggily yelp, yanking his arm off me.

Thankfully, his arm gives and I manage to roll away. I catch my breath and whimper, making a disgruntled face at my husband.

In the name of the seven gods, the man was still asleep, as though he did not make an attempt on my life unwittingly. I huff and push myself up on my elbows, "Sandor."

I nudge him with my knee.

He sighs peacefully in his sleep.

I huff and brush his hair. I caress the side of his face which was free from burn marks and shake my head, "you vicious pup. How am I to sleep now?"

I turn to the window, seeing how the sun was barely shining and decide it was worth it to try and go back to sleep.

Alas, I could not and eventually just got out of bed. I decide to tidy up and change, giving us a headstart for the day.

I struggle to get myself ready, especially in doing the ties of my dress and styling my hair. After deciding I looked decent enough, I pondered what to do with the sopping wet clothes we had from the night before. I gather them from the floor, wrapping them in towels, as they were still dripping wet, and head downstairs.

When I reach the main room where we had eaten dinner, I gawk at how large it looks without it overflowing with people.

"Can I help ya?" a low and slightly annoyed voice asks.

I turn and make a soft sound of surprise at the sight of the hulking man before me.  I smile at him, "good morn to you. Yes. If you could, that would be lovely."

He raises his thin brows as I shuffle with the clothes in my hands.

"If it is possible, I would like to have my clothes washed. They have gotten terribly-"

He grabs the clothes from me.

"-oh... wet from last night..."

He inspects the clothes pulling them apart one by one, the hanging them on his large arm.

"I- UH-" I freeze when he picks out my shift and small clothes. I begin to fidget but he doesn't bat an eye. He does raise his brows when he sees Sandor's clothes.

He holds it up then looks at me, "this yours, lil lady?"

"My husband's."

He measures the shirt against him, "he's almost as big as me."

I blink at his observation.

He huffs and tilts his head, "it's gonna cost ya. Work don't come for free."

I nod quickly, "and I can pay," I pull out some coin, "I would also like some food for us."

He takes the coin from me, "it's not gonna be ready til a lil later."

I nod again, "I understand. I can wait."

He stares at me for a moment. He tilts his head the other side, "what's your name then, lady?"

I tell him my name and then he laughs.

"Clegane? Like the Mountain?"

I am married to his brother, Sandor."

"Mmm," he walks off, "must be nice being Lord Clegane."

I step back as he exits through the front door. And as if on cue, Trysha comes in, "ooh, pleasant morning, dear lady. I see you've met my other son."

Oh. I smile at her.

"Did he give you a hard time? What did you need?"

"Some laundry services and break fast. I've already paid for it."

Trysha smiles, "well, don't you worry, milady. I'll go find Donnie and see to your laundry. Riley will cook you and your lord food first thing."

"Oh, thank you, Trysha," I smile back.

She nods at me, "it's my pleasure, milady."

I step forward and fidget with my fingers, "if I may, how many children do you have?"

She grins, "I have five sons, each as big as the other. The first is Wencel, then Donnie, Riley, Graham, and Ian."

"I see. And I assume their father was quite large as well."

"Aye," she wiggles her brows, "if you know what I mean."

My lips part yet I say nothing.

She giggles and shakes her head, "why, how improper of me to jest with a lady."

I chuckle nervously, feeling my face warm slightly.

"Ah," she sighs, "Riley is the spitting image of his da, from face to the frame. He gets his ruggedness from me though. My Hugh wouldn't hurt a fly... and that would be why he got killed."

I frown at his words, "my deepest sympathies for your loss."

She waves a hand, "it's been ages. It was a hard day but you learn to live with it." With that, she smiles and says she'll tell Riley to start making my food.

I walk towards the open door and hum at the sight of the muddy floor. I debate if I should get my boots dirty, but figure, it'll get dirty anyway once we leave, so might as well. Mud could be washed off.

I pick up my skirt and tread carefully out of the place. I wander towards the stables and remember that Riley mentioned our horses were moved somewhere else.

I spot a man by the beasts. I lock eyes with him and smile, "good morrow! Are you the stable keeper?"

He stares back at me, face contorting slowly. 

As I walk closer, I realize just how large he is, appearing opposite, only because he was dwarfed by the horses around him. I then wonder if he was one of Trysha's other sons.

"Who's askin'?"

I manage to step on a drier patch of dirt and explain to him who I was. I tell him I was only concerned for the well-being of my steeds, since they got terribly wet in the storm last night.

"Ahhhh," he says with some form of realization, "you're the lady Riley spoke about."

I hum, "if the lady was one he saved from a gang of brutish men, then, indeed, tis I."

The pets one of the horses' snouts and tilts his head, wordlessly walking off after.

I furrow my brows and clutch my skirt tightly, "do you expect me to follow?"

The man stops and turns back to me when he realizes I don't.

"You answered none of my questions and did not even say where you are leading me off."

He raises a brow a me, "clearly, I'm leading you to your horses."

"Well, it was not clear to me because you did not say so," I shake my head, "I do not even know your name. Why would I follow you?"

He purses his lips and crosses is arms, "and telling you my name will make a difference?"

"Of course."

He stares at me for a moment then chuckles dryly., "Graham."

"Brilliant," I smile at the confirmation of his identity, "lead the way, then, Graham."

Graham leads me off to a wood shed that had enough vacancy to house my two horses. They recognize me and chuff. I smile and offer each my attention and touch their faces.

"Hello, hello," a voice calls from the side.

A man walks towards Graham. He is red in the face and sweaty as he carries a large log on one shoulder.

"Hello there. Good morn," I offer in between combing my horse's mane with my fingers.

He drops the log on the ground. He huffs and tilts his head when he looks at Graham. Graham shrugs, then they both turn back to me.

"Need some help, lady?"

"Mmm?" I turn back to him, "no, I just wanted to check on my horses."

"Traveling with a bodyguard?"

"I'm travelling with my husband," I reply as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I look between the two, and in this moment, realize they looked awfully similar, "you wouldn't happen to be named Wencel, would you?"

The man curls his lips up as the other laughs, "nay, lady! I'm Ian."

Graham slaps the man's arm in laughter.

Ian shoves him away, "I look nothing like that ugly shite."

"Who you calling ugly, orge?" a deep voice speaks above the sound of galloping hooves.

A man leading a donkey with a caravan walks towards us. He does not stop and eyes me as he walks past. He nods his head at me and I offer the same regard. I watch as he leads the horse to what was probably a back entrance to the inn.

"MY ASS IS PRETTIER THAN YOU!" Ian calls out.

"At least my ass is done with my morning chores."

Graham laughs harder.

If it was not painfully obvious before, it was now. These men were brothers, Trysha's sons. Though they were big burly men, the sight of them made me feel warm. They reminded me of my own brothers, how I used to be with them. It make me imagine what it would be like had they not died, and even how they would be once I had a son of my own.

I press my lips into a line and feel myself fel sick. I give my horses on last pet before going back inside the inn.

When I get back inside, I am faced with Riley, who perks up when he sees me.

"Oh, h-hello... I wanted you to know I've started cooking, but I didn't know what you wanted... so I was gonna ask."

"Oh," I bring myself to smile, "I'm alright with anything. I normally eat whatever my servants prepare, which is porridge, or eggs."

Riley hums, "alright. I'll be done soon. Take a seat."

I don't have an opportunity to ask if I could bring the food upstairs, so I merely just sit down and wait.

The moment I do, Graham and Ian walk in. They walk towards me and look at each other before turning back to me, "if our conversation offended you, we apologize," Graham says.

"Aye," Ian nods, "if you want to go back to the horses again-"

I shake my head, "no." I take in a breath, "I left because I was finished. My apologies for leaving without a word."

"Nay, it's alright," Ian waves his hands.

"Aye, aye," Graham nods.

"Out of the way," Riley says, shoving his brothers to the side. As the two shuffle away, Riley places a bunch of plates before me. Porridge, eggs, sausage, bread, jam, and fruit laid on a tray before me.

"Oh my, thank you-- this is a lot."

"Aye, seven fucking hells," Graham mutters, "can you finish all that?"

"I can help!" Ian blurts.

"Fuck off," Riley hisses.

"Actually," I shake my head, "my husband won't be awake until early afternoon, so please," I motion, "help yourselves."

Ian sits down across from me without much thought. He sighs as he eats the fruits, "fuck I haven't eaten yet."

"Lying bastard," Graham grabs the strawberry in his brothers fingers, "you ate my ham."

Just as Riley looks like he's about to tell his brothers off, I cut him off by offering him to eat with us.

Riley looks at me in shock for a moment. The next moment, he walks off and comes back with more food.

The next thing I know, all five brothers and their mother break their fast with me. Whatever unpleasant idea that tried to fester in my head was warded off by their familial bickering. It make my heart feel a little Les lonely to be in this moment with them, even though I was a merely spectator.

At some point, they ask my about myself and I tell them about Lucy, about my pups, about Sandor's strawberry garden.

"Aww, I'm glad to know your husband adores you," Trysha says.

One of the men grumbles.

Ian says through a mouthful, "if you ever comes to it, we can set you free."

I stare at him with confusion, "pardon?"

"Kill'im," Donnie says.

"Donnie!" their mother scolds, "that's not what he meant."

"That's exactly what he meant."

"Ian!" Trysha slaps her youngest on the arm.

"Aye," Wencel agrees.

"Wencel!" she scolds. She sighs where I chuckle. I shake my head, "I am flattered, but you needn't worry. My husband takes care of me."

Trysha nods, "and we can tell. My boys are just untrusting of men because of how I've been treated after their father died."

I offer her a solemn look and take her hand.

She waves me off and rubs my hand, "it's alright, milady."

Just then, I hear my name get called. I turn and see Sandor, frozen at the end of the staircase. I smile and wave at him.

I stand and walk up to him. I haul him to my seat and sit beside him. He looks at the faces around the table.

"Here," I push some porridge towards him, "it's still a bit warm."

"I'll go get you some more food, lady," Riley says, gathering some of the empty plates, standing up, and walking off.

"I'll go help," Wencel stands next, cleaning off what remained on the table.

"I have to finish chopping wood," Ian says.

Graham leaves without a word.

Donnie stares at Sandor. Sandor stares back at him.

Trysha smiles, placing a hand on my husband's shoulder. He turns to her as she says, "my sons and I were keeping your lady company, milord. She is a darling. I'm glad to know how much you care for her."

Sandor turns to me. I smile and shrug.

With that, Trysha stands and nudges Donnie. The man follows and he clears his throat. He nods before walking off with his mother.

Sandor glares at him until he disappears. He turns back to me, "by all the gods old and new. What the fuck was that, woman?"

I wave my arms, "I ate with the inn keeper and her sons."

He groans and leans towards me. He wraps his arms around me and I whimper when he bites my neck.

"I won't share you," he mutters against my skin, rather unprompted.

I am tickled by the feel of his beard and pull away, "Sandor-"

"Don't leave the room before I wake ever again."

"San-"

"I'm not playing," he straightens up, "this isn't a game, girl."

I press my lips into a line.

Riley comes back with some food for Sandor. The two of them stare hotly at the other before Riley walks of. The Hound huffs as he begins to eat everything he gets his paws.

"What are you doing?"

"Putting my armor on, what does it look like I'm doing?"

I walk up next to him as he puts on his top. I knit my brows and place my hands on his arms to stop him, "we cannot leave yet."

"And why the fuck not?" he snaps, "don't tell me you want to hang around those smelly oafs."

I raise my brows at him, "you're one to judge a smelly oaf."

Sandor stills.

I release his arms.

We stare at each other.

I blink as I look up at him.

"Damn."

I bite my lip and break into a giggle.

Sandor sighs and shakes his head.

I yelp when he bends down and grabs me, throwing me over his shoulder. I shriek, "Sandor! My belly! Your armor hurts!"

Sandor dumps me on the bed and shakes his head again, "dirty game for a dirty girl," he removes his armor, "this what you wanted? To rid me of all my clothes? To bathe with me?"

He chucks his armor onto the floor dramatically.

I cannot help my laugh. I get on my knees and crawl towards him, "I wasn't playing a dirty game, dirty boy."

Sandor groans and places his large hand beneath my jaw, the rest of his palm sprawls on my neck.

I giggle and hand my hands on his wrist, "I had our clothes washed. We couldn't possibly leave them."

He rolls his eyes.

I scoff in offence, "do not roll your eyes at me.*"

He tilts my head back; his fingers snake into the roots of my hair, "do not play games with me then."

"I'm not-" I push him off and get on my feet, "-playing games with you!"

I impose upon him. I cross my arms and look down at him from where I stood on the edge of the bed, "why can't you take me seriously?"

Sandor looks up at me. His lips part and his breath hitches.

I await his response but he gives me none. He gawks at me instead. I knit my brows deeper, "well? Suddenly you're at a loss for words."

He gulps. He strokes his beard, "you're right... I should take my clothes off..."

I pull my head back, "wh-" I cut myself off as I watch him undress.

Sandor rids himself of his shirt and drops it on the floor. He eyes me up and down, "now you."

I am at a loss for words. He wraps his arms around my legs and sinks his face into my side. I place my hands on his shoulders and watch him as he inhales deeply. I cannot help but chuckle, "Sandor."

He looks up at me. I raise my brows at him. He rubs his face on my clothes.

"And here you had yourself believing I was the bitch in heat."

Sandor perks at the thought then bursts into a belly laugh, deep and rich and lovely.

I give a gleeful giggle in response. It realize now that this was a rather rare occurrence. I caress the side of his face, the scarred side. His laughter does not cease. He does not flinch.

My breath hitches when he leans back into my stomach. He sighs, "can you blame me? You smell so good."

I bite my lip and comb my fingers though his hair, "you have to help me out of my dress if you want me naked."

Sandor pulls back and gawks, rather taken aback.

I jump down the bed. I look up at him, then turn around. He wastes no time in undoing my dress. He was a bit too hasty about it, which elicits a giggle from me.

I tut, "husband. Do I look like I'm running away anytime soon?"

Sandor pushes my hair aside and licks a stripe on my neck, causing me to whimper. He nips the area then peppers it with kisses, "you make me feel like a starved dog."

I gasp when he pulls my dress off, along with the rest of my clothing. He wraps his arms around me and continues to kiss my shoulder.

He breaks away only to rid himself of his pants. I turn to watch and bite my lip at the sight of his half-hardened member. He cups my cheeks then he kisses me. I wrap my arms around him, moaning when I feel him press against me.

We end up on the bed, with Sandor squishing me beneath him. I mewl and make room for him between my thighs.

Sandor kisses my neck. My breath catches when he bites me harder than normal.

"Puppy," I whine.

The Hound groans and pulls away from my neck to roughly kiss my lips. I yelp when I feel him grind his hips into mine.

"Stop calling me that, girl," he mutters under a hot breath. He pulls away to give me a grumpy look.

I feel my belly flip. I chew my lip, bat my lashes, then kiss his chin, "but you are my puppy."

Sandor nudges my face with his own and nips at my jaw, "you should know that pups don't listen to anything but themselves."

I give and airy chuckle. He slowly moves down on me.

" 'M hungry."

"W-we just ate."

He kisses down my belly, "like the taste of pretty squirrels."

I grip on the sheets when he pushes my thighs up.

My mouth makes noises before my brain can tell it to do otherwise. My belly tightens and my breath catches as he kisses my womanhood. I whimper when he laps my folds through labored breaths. He hooks his arms around my thighs and pulls them apart when I begin to squeeze his face a bit too much.

"Sandor," I whine, looking down at him. I tangle my fingers into his hair and pull at his roots. I let out an erratic sound, "w-w-- mmm-- fuck- wait-"

Sandor does not hear me, or more accurately, ignores me and sucks on my sensitive nub. He goes on by licking firm circles and strokes on my weeping cunny.

We had done this only a few times, and each time, it was a mind breaking. Perhaps a little too much so.

My back arches as I feel myself come close to the edge. I squeal, "Sandor! Wai-" my voice breaks into a moan when he prods his tongue into my entrance to lick up my wetness. The lapping only intensifies, and I tense up even more.

I throw my head back and close my eyes, "S-Sandor, please."

He huffs and hums against my flesh.

With a cry, I come on his tongue and grind my hips against him. I feel him chuckle which just pushes me more over edge. I can feel him drink up all the wetness that comes from my pleasure.

He only stops when my legs begin to twist and shake in overstimulation.

My husband licks and kisses my thighs. The scratch of his beard was somehow comforting against my skin. He emerges between my legs but keeps himself between them as he lies atop me.

I instinctively wrap my arms around him as I catch my breath.

The wetness on his beard keeps the tingle in my belly. He rests his face on my shoulder, "delicious."

I feel myself blush, "Sandor."

"What? You like it when I kiss you there," he says a matter-of-factly, "you finish so quick when I use my tongue."

I scowl, "... that's the point... I shouldn't be doing that."

He lifts his head and raises a brow, "who says?"

"... I saith. You apologize everytime you finish quickly, I-"

"Fucking hell, woman," he sighs and rests his head back down, "that's not the same. I can't peak 10 times. But you can, and I'd love to make you one day."

My heart drops, "t-that's too much."

Sandor kisses my breast, "mmm, I got you to peak 3 times in one night before... what's seven more?"

I gasp at the idea.

He rubs my side and chuckles, "all the gods, old and new, I jest, my lovely wife."

I sigh in relief.

"...although half-hearted. I'd love to make you spill all over my face a thousand times."

"Sandor!" I swat his arm.

He laughs and tightens his arm around me, "you're too innocent to know men kill for this. I'm lucky to have such a dutiful bride."

I brush his hair and shift beneath him into a slightly more comfortable position. He immediately takes this as a sign of discomfort and pushes himself off.

"No!"

"I know," he hushes, "I'm here, love," he rolls over and brings me along with him.

I yelp and adjust once I'm on top him. He chuckles and squeezes me against him before allowing me to laze on top him.

I feel his hardened length on my thigh and gasp at it, "Sandor-"

"Nevermind it. I'll fuck you soon enough."

I chew my lips. This was why I did not want to come so fast. I want him to be pleasured too. I take a breath and decide to straddle his lap. I'm still overstimulated, evident by my shivers. The way Sandor moans and grabs my hips makes me want to power through it though.

He hisses my name out and evens his breathing, "are you trying to test me?"

I mumble weakly, "you can... stay inside..."

He cusses loudly.

"... then I'll move when I'm ready."

He screws his eyes shut and roughly squeezes my thighs, "you want to kill me. You want to fucking kill me, don't you?"

I bite my lip, "n-no, honey... but you know..."

I push him into my pulsing core and make him howl. In slight panic of his loud noise, I cover his mouth. He stares at me, dumb with lust, and pants.

I pull my hands away. I release a breath, "Trysha's sons offered to kill you."

A sliver of sobriety overcomes him.

"If you were cruel... they said they'd help me get free."

The Hound growls and sits up. I whine when I feel him rock his hips slightly, "am I cruel?"

He rubs my sides and kisses me. I make a sound when I taste myself on his lips. He clutches my body tightly. He presses a kiss on my ear, "maybe I should make you come on my cock 4 times."

I moan, "n-no, that's- that's too much."

I whimper when he begins to thrust into me.

"Sandor-"

"We'll see about that."

Sandor pushes me back and lifts one of my legs. He then proceeds to fuck me to prove a point; it brings tears to my eyes, literally. It was a mix of pain and pleasure that grew less and less painful and more and more pleasurable.

When I feel myself get close again, the idea of coming more than this exhausts me. I dig my fingers into his shoulders and beg, "please, please, come inside me. Please finish in me. Please, please-"

"You want my seed so bad, do ya?"

I nod frantically.

"You want me to come, or do you want my come?"

"B-both-- fuck--"

We both peak a few thrusts later. My mind goes numb as heat ripples through me. My shaking body follows after and soon I'm thrashing for respite.

Sandor pushes my thighs up to my sides and rests atop me. He kisses my cheek and licks my sweat.

I call out his name.

He calls out mine.

He kisses my cheek again, "you take me so well."

My eyes water, but out of exhaustion, if anything, "clearly, not well enough, my lord."

Sandor holds his breath.

I feel myself grow a little too hot, "Sandor... I'm too hot. Can you roll off?'

He pushes himself up on his arm and looks down at me, "I didn't mean it like that."

I raise my brows at his response and shake my head, "I'm not upset, darling. I genuinely am," I shimmy away from him, "burning up."

Sandor watches as I pull away.

I whimper as I feel my womanhood throb as some slick trickles out of me. I rest on my side and cross my legs. Sandor looks at me, rolling on his back. He reaches out for my hand and rubs it.

My expression softens, "I'm not upset."

He doesn't respond.

I clutch his hand in both of mine.

"Do you know the rumors of House Inglewood?"

I knit my brows, "no. I do not divulge in gossip, Sandor."

"Didn't think you did, but I know for a fact your blabbermouth wench does."

"Sandor," I say sternly, "stop calling Lucy names."

He tilts his head, "funny. I meant Cressida."

I raise a brow at him, "no, you didn't."

"Mmm," he chuckles, "no, I didn't."

I roll my eyes at him.

He scoots closer and laughs, "well, rumor goes the lord and lady of the house were unhappily arranged and could not conceive an heir... until Lord Inglewood's cousin made a visit."

I make a face, "I don't follow."

"Lord Inglewood has yellow hair, his cousin, red. The boy that was born to Lady Inglewood was a fucking ginger."

I raise my brows. I cannot help but feel sympathy for the lady, knowing how most ladies are treated, "people assume Lady Inglewood had an affair with her husband's cousin because of her son's red hair? They're cousins. They both could have yellow or red haired children."

"His cousin is not his blood relative."

I purse my lips.

"They became cousins when Lord Inglewood's uncle married into a house with a widowed lady."

I make a face and shake my head, "how do you know this? Don't tell me you listened to the maids in the Keep speculate."

"Against my will. They yap about like they're on either sides of a field."

I chuckle the sigh, "I sense you didn't simply want to share this rumor with me."

Sandor brings my hand up to his face, "they think it a wives' tale, but I've heard my fair share of yapping to know it's true. Men can be barren."

I tilt my head at his response.

"What are you going to do if the reason why you can't have a child is me?"

My lips part.

He turns his gaze to my hand. He rubs my knuckles.

My breath catches in my throat. My voice is low, "I... I don't believe it is."

"That's not what I asked, pretty squirrel," he mutters. He turns to me, "would you take another man?"

I am baffled by his question.

"If I was the problem, would you find someone else to father your child?"

I rip my hand out of his and sit up. I wait for him to say something, to retract his accusatory remark, but he doesn't. "You think so little of me," my eyes water, "I thought we were past this?"

Sandor sits up and raises a hand, "recall once when you told me to take another woman. I'm only asking if you would want the same for yourself."

"YOU DID NOT WANT ME!" I blurt and jump off of bed, "I told you to find another because YOU DID NOT want me!"

The Hound looks at me, as though he was wounded. He whispers, "I have always wanted you."

I scoff and begin to dress myself, "I did not know that."

Tears stream down my face as I put on my clothes. I turn from him as he stands and walks up to me. I pull away when he reaches out. He calls out my name cautiously.

"Do not touch me, brute," I hiss as I tighten the ties on my dress with much effort. I feel like I'm suffocating as I secure my clothing.

"You said it yourself," he speaks, dejected, "people remember names, not blood... I will safeguard any child that you b-"

"SILENCE!" I snap and heave. I place my hands on my stomach. I pant through my tears. I feel ill. I feel sorely loathsome. 

He stares at me. He looks scared. I feel like retching. In fact, I feel like my morning meal wishes to find its way out through my throat.

The Hound approaches me when my breathing gets too irregular.

I sharply pull away and grab his clothes, throwing it at him in anger. He catches it. I cry, "does my love and affection ring so untrue in your ears that you insult me in the most egregious of ways?"

He can no longer keep his gaze upon me. He looks away and puts on his trousers.

"Do you even truly care for me?"

His head turns. He walks over to me, but I pull away still. The Hound is hurt. His eyes water, "you're the only thing I care about... you know this. Everything else is fuck all."

"Then why would you wish me away?!" I whine, "why would you want me to give myself up to a man I do not love to sate my want for a child?" I cover my mouth as I feel bile rise up my throat.

He calls my name.

"I know you don't care for my sense of duty, but -" gag "- do not mangle my discernment for the sake of dissuading me."

"That's not what I'm doing," Sandor speaks pleadingly, "I only wanted to-"

I feel too sick to listen to him. In the heat of the moment, I find myself running towards the window and hurling out of it. I vomit so much it comes out of my nose. I stare at the disaster that descended on the ground below. I retch at the sight.

I feel him rush over to me. I feel him rub my back.

"Fucking hells. What-"

"I told you not to touch me!" I hiss under my breath and elbow him weakly.

I wipe my mouth as he reels back. I glare at him even though my tears were burning down my cheeks. He looks frantic.

"If you do not believe in my curse, if you do not believe in my journey, if you do not believe in my love, do not twist it into mine own disbelief," I grunt and walk off.

The Hound watches as I begin to pack our things.

"You're right. We should not waste time on frivolity. The sooner we finish this damned trip, the sooner this torment can end for the both of us." I look over my shoulder, "that is, if you still wish to safeguard a woman who may have to bear someone else's child," I scoff coldly.

He does not respond.

I turn and raise my hands questioningly.

"You-" his voice breaks, "-have me til the end, my lady."

I turn away and continue packing.

[midwesternvibes]

Alright people, it's time for more Villain Leo lore!!!

Today we are diving into Leo and Splinter's relationship!!!

Read under the cut because this got so LONG, these two have so many issues and there was so much to work with.

Alright, so it's no secret that Leo and Splinter have a....less than ideal relationship. You can see throughout all of TMNT history that Leo looks up to Splinter an insane amount, and Rise Leo is no different.

This boy looked up to Lou Jitsu his whole life, and we can often see him doing the same movements and catchphrases that Lou did. Granted, all the boys do, but Leo seems particularly attached to Lou

And we've all seen the smile comparisons, it's insane how similar his grandiose smile is to Lou Jistu's.

The point is, Leo really looks up to his dad, and we can see this in his actions and attitudes towards not only Lou Jitsu, but also Splinter in canon.

"Trust me pops!"

I mean, just look at how happy he is to be there with his dad, in his element. This episode is Leo at his peak, outsmarting everyone and predicting his family's moments to the letter.

Also, idk about you, but that smile seems incredibly genuine. That's not even a Lou Jitsu smile, that's a 100% Hamato Leonardo smile at his dad whom he looks up to so much.

And what does Splinter say to his son's ask for trust?

"I knew I should have brought Purple!"

....what.

That is his SON. His 14, maybe 15 year old son, who is asking for his father to trust him.

....and he responds by saying that he wishes he had brought his more intelligent twin brother instead, who he has already shown an implied favoritism towards in the past

"And I thought Purple was the funny one!"

"Told you guys I was the funniest."

This is a pretty harmless comment tbh, but Leo takes so much pride in his quips, one-liners and puns that this had to sting a little bit.

There's such a huge amount of content to sift through when it comes to these two, and that fact actually saddens me because I had SO MUCH to pick from when making this post, but here's some highlights.

One thing that I noticed while watching a Splinter and Leo compilation is that during the memory episode, Leo is the only one Splinter directly hits

NONE of the other three were directly hit like this is any point in the episode and yeah, this could totally be played off as a bit or just a case of wrong place, wrong time, but we'll get to my theory later, right now I'm just laying out the facts.

An important detail I'd like to point out here too is Leo's face after the first hit.

Guys, he looks HURT. Donnie and Raph are looking at him, checking that he's okay, but he is looking right past them at the shadow Splinter, who is dressed and looks just like his childhood idol, who just hit him specifically right in the face.

Not only his idol even. No, the most pure and unfiltered representation of his father, the man who's raised him his whole life.

And he just got hit in the face.

Ouch. For a kid as emotive as Leo (who I honestly think feels his emotions even more intensely than Mikey when he lets them out), this is a devastating blow. Literally.

Then, let's talk about this scene, you all knew it was coming.

"Can someone tell my son I am NOT TALKING TO HIM!!"

"You got this pops! I love you!"

Guys this scene hurts my heart. Like, once again, he can't be older than 15 at this point. Yeah he's being a badass stratigiser this whole episode, but you cannot convince me that he wasn't at least a little excited to see his dad, his HERO in action, and wearing a matching outfit as well, and show his dad, his idol and hero, exactly what he's capable of. Leo absolutely worships the ground Splinter walks on and what does his father have to say to his son"s encouragement??

"NO!"

GAHHHH like yes, Leo was kinda being a little shit this whole episode and could have clued his dad in on the plan a little bit, but honestly that could have ruined everything if Splinter had any holdbacks.

Not to mention, this is the only Leo and Splinter episode we get. Donnie gets the derby, Mikey gets the Hidden City bonding, even Raph gets the ending of the memory episode, and in each, they have a genuine moment of bonding with Splinter.

Splinter never ONCE apologized for his actions in this episode. Not once. RAPH is the one who tells Leo in this episode later on that he trusts Leo, something he's been begging Splinter for the entire time.

All of a sudden, this moment doesn't seem so out of place.....

"I love you soooo much!" "No, no you don't, I'm your least favorite!!"

This line could totally just be a throwaway line, but as it was pointed out to me by the wonderful @nardos-primetime, the alarms that the boys did for Google home have a REALLY upsetting one for Leo

Go to about 1:57 and listen to that one and just......cry.

NOW that line in "Rat Flu" makes a LOT more sense. Splinter LAUGHED at Leo when he asked if he was his favorite. LAUGHED at him.

But wait, you may ask. What about the ending? Splinter made Leo the leader, obviously he trusts him!

....yeah, just take a look at their faces here.

Donnie and Mikey are basically horrified beyond belief and in complete shock

Raph is.....blue screening, honestly

And Leo looks completely taken aback and shocked and scared and honestly, I don't blame him. There is absolutely NO precedence for Splinter to do this. He has proved time and time again that he does NOT trust Leo, he never ONCE tells Leo that he trusts him even though he asks for that trust during the entirety of "Unhappy Returns". NONE of them look happy about this new change.

You could see this as Splinter finally giving Leo a chance, but I see this a lot more as one of the more popular Fandom interpretations of Splinter wanting to give Raph a break. Raph had a huge breakdown during the finale and I don't think it's unreasonable for Splinter to have heard of that and decide that his beloved eldest needed a chance to recover.

Who better to pass this burden on to than his least favorite son!

We also see in the movie that this shift in power dynamics really doesn't do much other than create a lot of interpersonal conflict between Leo and Raph, something Splinter does absolutely nothing to help out with, other than telling them to quiet down.

Now that we have all of our evidence (and I put more work into getting evidence for this than for the English project I'm supposed to be doing right now can I just cite this as a source for me being capable of gathering evidence???) we can actually get into the analysis of how this all would affect him.

First of all, I mentioned that I would discuss the repercussions of the memory episode. This analysis is more for Splinter, but I feel like it's still important. We've seen time and time again that Leo is very similar to how Splinter was as a young teen in both looks and attitude. If Splinter truly resents his younger self and how he acted, it would make a lot of sense for him to also subconsciously resent his son who acts a lot like himself at that age. This would cause him to lash out at Leo in his subconscious, the one place where his true thoughts and feelings are on full display.

I just wanna point out his face again here, Leo looks so hurt. He definitely already knows that he's not anywhere near Splinter's favorites at this point, but it still hurts him to see that get confirmed.

This brings me to my next point of Leo's psyche. He is a very confident, witty, smart teenager, but he's still just that. A teenager. He's anxious, insecure, and very self-reliant. He looks to others for praise often and rarely receives it, usually having to hype himself up. His relationship with Splinter only emphasizes these qualities about him and makes Leo look so much worse in Splinter's eyes because his son is just a modern-day representation of his past self.

Now let's put this into perspective of Leo's decent into villainy.

If Leo is hurting and under the impression that his brothers are maybe starting to dislike him, even hate him, adding Splinter on to this can only make it worse.

Maybe he goes to his dad for tips on how to lead when he feels like he can't talk to Raph anymore and needs his father's advice.

Maybe he sets up a dinner for him and Splinter to just chat and bond instead of sitting at the dinner table with another one of Mikey's meals that he feels too sick with anxiety from his little brother's disappointed looks to eat.

Maybe he goes to his father crying from another nightmare after not feeling welcomed in Donnie's lab anymore after they fought for an hour the day before.

And maybe, just maybe, Splinter waves him off every time.

Forgets.

Laughs at him.

I mean, this is a kid who relys on others to build him up, to praise him and love him because after all....

Who is he without his family?

Maybe it's time to find out.

First // Previous // Next

Link to an AMAZING ficlet by the FANTASTIC @beetleviolet

[taffycandyqt]

hey so how badly do you think the rottmnt boys would be easily persuaded into things by their s/o? Who has self control and who throws caution to the wind for their s/o? Like their s/o is not manipulating or anything. Just like “No! I’m not joining”. “*genuine sad understanding doe eyes* If you’re sure, I wanted you to be the one to come with me though since I love you so much and I’d feel better with you there, but if you’re uncomfortable, it’s ok” if their boyfriend changes their mind, s/o is confused at the sudden change but look ecstatic? Or like they make their boyfriend angry and s/o is like “I did that? I’m sorry. I didn’t realise *genuine sad doe eyes. Makes it very hard to stay mad at*”?

Honestly, the rise boys are all so hungry for affection in their own ways. I feel like they are all pretty weak to their sweet little s/o. Also the one shots aren't exactly the best example of the headcannons but I was STRUGGLING so this is the best I got.

Weak in the Knees

Rise turtles (separately) x reader

How easily can you persuade them using your irresistible charm??

Warnings: Mentions of shooting as a hyperbole to emphasize a point. Not explicit. No deaths. Only in Donnies. Angst? ends happy so its fine

Established relationship

Fluff, crack

Donnie:

We all know Donnie is a sucker for praise.

You ask him to do something stupid or dangerous with you it will be a no.

You want him to step away from his work for a break? absolutely not.

You want him to accompany you to Witch town. ARE YOU CRAZY?

Buuuuuut. If you just so happen to have thrown out a couple compliments his way beforehand.

It will almost immediately be a yes or a "Sigh! I suppose!"

Let's be honest here too, there is a lot to compliment Donnie on.

You praise him for his work, a gift he gave you, helping you, or for literally anything he is already wrapped around your finger.

But if you praise him and then add a little kiss on the cheek or hand. Maybe a small hug?

He would literally let you shoot him if that's what you wanted.

Bro is so in love with you it's not even funny.

Not to say he doesn't draw the line somewhere. No bees. No spiders. And NO BEACH BALLS.

Oh and nothing that could phically harm you in any way.

He ain't about to let you get hurt on his watch.

It doesn't matter how many times you call him the most handsomest genius boy and kiss his nose, you are not diving off the empire state building for him to catch you mid air.

"Donnnnnnnniiieeeeeee!" you slumped towards him as you drew out his name. After you got to him you rested your head on his battle shell. Your hands were positioned on either side of your head laying flat on his shell as well.

"Yes my dear?" He chirped. He wasn't very good at initiating physical touch. Don't get me wrong, he tried, he just let his Donnie overthink get the best of him more often then not. So when you initiated, it was very welcome.

"I looooove youuu." You answered him, "your the sweetest boy I've ever met, did you know that?"

This got Donnie to set his tools down real quick. You always liked to compliment him at random times. At first he thought there was a reason behind it. You wanted something, you wanted to get away with something, you wanted him to forgive you, ect. But no matter how many times he conducted the experiment. No matter the duration of time it took. The results were always purely random. You did it simply because you wanted to tell him how much he meant to you.

And honestly, it was his favorite thing in the world. The only problem was that it would always catch him off guard. There was no consistency to your charming onslaught so it was always left as a surprise till the very last minute. His face burned red as he proceeded to just stare at his work, trying to look like he's trying to figure something out.

"I'm not sure. You say I'm a lot of things," he tried to keep his voice even as he spoke to you.

"Well it's true! Your the sweetest, smartest, and most perfect boyfriend ever and your my absolute favorite."

At this point Donnie was trying to hard not to happy stim. Not because he's not comfortable stimming around you, infact he does it all the time. The thing is, even after all this time he still wanted come off as a cool, emotionally unavailable bad boy. What he conveniently doesn't remember is that he's already willing done things that counter that image. You don't need to tell him that though.

"Thank you dear. You're quite lovely yourself," he told you. He folded his arms and sat stiffly trying to keep his stimming under control, eventually opting for some speedy finger tapping.

"Awwwwwww, thank you my love!!" you said as you finally lifted your head off his back to lean over and kiss his cheek.

This caused him to jerk in his chair and mess with the weight distribution resulting in him tipping and falling right on the floor. Instinctively he reached for the table in an attempt to break his fall. Unfortunately, he ended up grabbing his current project instead. As Donnie fell a component of his invention was ripped from it's position and landed on the floor beside him.

"Oh mi gosh! Are you okay?!" you rushed to Donnie's aid and helped him off the floor.

"I'm alright, thank you," he smiled at you softly and went to pick up his chair.

"I was just caught off guard is all," he told you, but as he bends down to grab the chair he noticed the crucial piece of his latest invention laying off to the side of it.

"GASP! Nonononono!" he picked up the piece and scrambled to his work desk to inspect the damage.

"Nooo!!" He wined in frustration. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index as he tried to calm himself down.

"Donnie? What's wrong?" You asked as you inched your way to his side.

"THIS!" he exclaimed shoving the broken piece in your direction before dropping his arm and turning away from his project to pace around the room.

"I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR WEEKS AND NOW I HAVE TO BACKTRACK AND REDO DAYS OF WORK! ALL BECAUSE YOU-" he stopped talking immediately when he say your face. He had originally turned to look back at you in order to emphasize his frustration. Seeing the look on your face though, made him instantly regret letting his frustration get the better of him.

"I- I'm sorry. I- didn't mean for that... I just wanted to... um..." you were on the verge of tears and couldn't think of anything to say that would fix the issue. So you just clasped your hands together and looked to the floor.

"I'm sorry," is what you eventually settled on.

"No! no, I'm sorry," Donnie told you as he approached and grabbed your shoulder while placing the other in his chest. He leaned his head down in an attempt to catch your eye as you kept your eyes locked on the ground.

"I shouldn't have yelled like that, and besides it wasn't your fault anyways. I was the one being careless in the first place." He eventually placed his and on your other shoulder and leaned down more, practically begging for you to look at him. When you did, your eyes were big and glossy with tears that streaked on your cheeks.

"I shouldn't have distracted you," your responded and you looked back to the floor.

"No, hey, your not a distraction," he told you in a gentle voice. He stood up straight and pulled you into a firm hug, burying his snout in your hair.

"Your the best thing that happened to me. Your never a distraction," he was really hoping this got through to you.

"Really?" You sniffed.

"Really really. Two reallys," he told you. With that you adjusted to wrap your arms around him and then lay you chin in his plastron.

"Do you think ice cream would make you feel better?" you asked.

"Me feel better?" he questioned. You were the hurt one, you were the one crying. Why were you concerned about his feelings?

"Even if you think it's not my fault, no doubt you're still upset with the amount of work you have to redo," you explained, "and ice cream always makes me feel better. So would ice cream make you feel better?"

He gave you a small laugh and traded the hug to hold your hand.

"Firstly, it's not your fault," he spoke matter-a-factly while waving his other hand around dramatically, "And secondly, ice cream sounds delightful."

So with that you both made your way to the kitchen. Donnie ended up not eating any ice cream at all and instead opted for flavorless juice. He was happy enough watching you eat your ice cream with a big smile plastered on your face.

Did he have a lot of work to redo? Yes. But as long as your there it might not feel as long. He might have to make a 'no flattery while one is working in the lab' rule though. For safety.

Leo:

Remember how Donnie had a line? Yeah, no Leo doesn't have that.

Due to this, and his already mischievous nature, you can already get him to do pretty much anything just by asking.

However he does have a responsible mood. If he's in that mood nothing will work.

you know what I mean. Like how he acts in the movie while their driving in the turtle tank?

like that, just without the internal and external issues clouding his judgment.

It's s not a bad mood, it's just not good for getting what you want.

Lucky for you he's not usually in that mood, and if he is it's usually not so bad that you can't bring I'm out of it.

That being said Leo, like the rest of his brothers, needs praise so badly that it's kinda sad.

Any praise will work but if you want him to do something absolutely idiotic to the point that even he thinks so? Your gonna need to make him feel ✨special✨

Your gonna need to pull out the my man, my champion, special man, and perfect baby.

Names like that, that make him feel like a million bucks.

If he's showing off to you, one compliment will butter that sucker up like you wouldn't believe.

He would literally do anything for you, it's not even funny, bro has no standards.

"Y/n! Hey! Hey! Y/n look! Look at this sick trick!" Leo called to you from atop their indoor skating ramp. You were on the floor below talking with April while Leo skated.

"Okay sweets I'm watching!" You call back to give him the go ahead.

With that Leo was off down the ramp. As he came up the other side and was propelled in the air he flipped the skateboard from beneath him and then landed perfectly on top as gravity pulled them back to the surface. When he came back up the other side Leo jumped off the board and looked down at you with a big grin on his face.

You and April clapped and he came down to meet you.

"What did you think??"

"I think that was awesome. Your my talented man for sure," you told him sweetly as you kissed him on the cheek. Leo blushed slightly at this before puffing his chest out and holding his skateboard all cool guy like at his hip. He used his other hand to point at himself with his thumb.

"Well not everyone can be as skilled as ah-THIS!" He boasted while punctuating his sentence with a dab.

"Okay, Mr. Talented," April teased, "If your done I'd like to tell you the reason I stopped by today."

"What?" Leo said with fake shock, "You visited for a different reason other than admiring my rad skills?"

"Impossible I know," she snarked to play along with him.

"So what's up April?" You asked.

"I was working my new job as a part time graveyard day guard and I saw this totally creepy and totally abandoned house right outside my post!"

"April if you're about to tell us you saw a ghost," Leo told her.

"No! But I DID want to find out if there COULD be ghosts in there."

"Why are you telling us this?" You ask.

"Because, I'm not gonna trespass on abandoned property by myself. That's just asking to be kidnapped," she answered while folding her arms.

"I don't know April, I better stay here and keep practicing my skating skillzz, right y/n?" Leo said.

"Well I think it sounds cool April! I'd be so down to go with you!"

"Heck yeah! Girls trip!"

You two high fived and right as you hands made contact Leo popped up in-between the both of you and clasped yours and April's hands together with his own.

"Though I suppose it would be unbecoming of me to not do my chivalrous duty to you both and tag along as a safety precaution."

April looked unimpressed at Leo's forced attempt to be cool in front of you whilst also begging for your attention. As you and April let your hands down Leo's went with them and you took his empty palm in yours shooting him a soft smile.

"So what time did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I was thinking like right now if y'all aren't busy," April told you.

"Sounds good to me, come on Leon!" You said as you dragged Leo to the Lair exit.

-

Apon getting to the building it was abundantly clear that it was very abandoned and very illegal to trespass. A rusted chain link fence surrounded the building with warning signs plastered all around it. Though, it was to dark to clearly read them without a flashlight.

"Uhh, guys?" Leo started, "Are you sure we should go in there? There are way too many signs around this place for them all to be just 'no trespassing' signs,"

"Do I hear someone who is scaaaaared?" Teased April. This prompted an offended gasp from Leo who put a hand to his chest.

"SCARED?! HA! I'll show you who's scared," he snarked at her before opening a portal to bypass the fence straight to the front door. He gestures for you and April to enter first. Before you followed April in you turned to Leo.

"Everything will be fine, and if something does go wrong I know you could bail us out," you smiled sweetly at him and then stepped into the portal. Leo straightened up and blushed, then sauntered confidently through the portal after you. It felt good to know you trusted him so much.

As all three of you stood at the front door you heard the sounds of the house creaking on the inside. The old wood constantly fighting to stay upright. April pushed open the door with a loud creak and shinned her light into the entry. It was dark and messy. A brownish carpet greeted you along with a broken sidebar cabinet. stairs leading up to the second floor were covered in dirt and old enough to be one big splinter. Next to the stairs was an entrance to a different room. There were also different rooms on either side of you as well. As you all shines your lights to get a better look you could see the dust particles littering the air.

"I'm gonna go investigate upstairs!" April told you before disappearing to the second floor. Leo had gravitates towards the right side entryway before turning to you and gesturing for you to follow him.

"I think this is the kitchen," he said, turning his head back. You filled him as you both inspected the room. You broke looked around and noticed some light scratching sounds coming from what you assumed to be the pantry. As you opened the door the smell of rotten food and crap hit your face and you immediately gagged. You plugged your nose with your hand and you used the other to direct the flashlight. You didn't look around for long though as you saw a small, fast moving figure rush past your foot. You let out a short yelp as you stumbled backwards and out of the pantry slamming the door shut.

In an instant Leo was by your side.

"What?! What happened?! Are you okay?!" he gave you a once over looking for any injuries you could have procured.

"Yes! Yes," you sighed out patting his shoulder, "I'm okay, just a... rat. Or something,"

"Okay. Umm, just stick close to me for now ok?" He asked you. He was clearly a little nervous, about what exactly though you couldn't say. He grabbed your hand as you both made your way out of the kitchen.

"You've been hearing those sounds too right?" He asks as he turns to you. You both stop under the archway separating the kitchen and the entryway.

"W- what sounds?" This was, admittedly, making you a little nervous yourself now.

"The scratching. Like something's in the walls," he said in a hushed voice as he squoze your hand. You didn't at first but as you sat and listened, sure enough. Scratching. Or... Scurrying? It wasn't consistent but it happened often enough.

"Yeah," you answered in the same muted tone.

"I think we should leave," Leo told you, "Whatever this houses issue is it's not gonna be ours. Let's grab April and VAMINOS."

Before you two could take more that a stepp up the stairs you hear a loud crash and the house starts to rumble. April begins to scream and you can hear her rushed footsteps against the floor and as you both try to find her you ended meeting her at the top of the stairs.

"RUUUUN!! GO GO GO!" she yelled at you. She pushed you both aside and grabbed Leo by his mask tails to pull him along. Before you two started running though, you see what April was running from. I giant hord of mutant silverfish. They took up the entire hallway from floor to ceiling and they did NOT look happy.

As Leo was being tugged along by April you were tugged by Leo who still hadn't let go of your hand. In trying to position his body to run forward easier and April still holding on to his mask tails, it ended up turning his mask on backwards and obscuring his view. As all three of you exited the house Leo tripped out the door on top of April causing you to fall on top of him.

"LEO PORTAL! PORTAL NOW!" April yelled at him.

"I CAN'T FIND MY SWORD!" he told her frantically trying to fix his mask so he could see.

"HERE TAKE IT!" you said handing it to him. The silver fish where almost in top of you by the time Leo took the sword in his hands. With a swift swing of his sword the portal was opened and all three of you stumbled through it closing right as the silverfish burst out the door.

All three of you lay on the ground between where the two skate ramps met, panting and trying to gather yourselves.

"Everyone okay?" April asked out of breath.

"Yeah," you breathed out.

"All good here," Leo puffed.

"Great..." April sat up sluggishly, "I'm gonna head out then, see ya."

And with that she stood up and left the lair. You both waved her off best you could from the ground. You both just laid there for a while catching your breaths.

"Let's never do that again," Leo said after a while.

"I don't know, I kinda had fun," you told him.

"You have got to be kidding me," he looked over at you unimpressed.

"Ya know... I saw this abandoned processing plant a couple days ago," you said turning your head to look back at him.

"Y/n. We almost died."

"And now we know to be prepared for hords of mutant silverfish," you looked at him, "Please?"

"Uuugggg. FINE. But not for a while, I need a break from whatever the heck today was," he told you.

"Sounds good to me!" You chirped and cuddled into his side.

"Yeah yeah," he playfully rolled his eyes and wrapped a lazy arm around you.

Mikey:

Oh he is just the sweetest little buttercup to you.<3

Surprisingly though, he also is the hardest to persuade.

I mean come on, doctor delicate touch loves you but he will be quick to tell you why a certain idea is....... not so great.

That being said if you get really sad about him saying no he will do everything in his power to make you happy.

He'll make your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, play your favorite game, whatever you want that isn't the first thing that you wanted.

Out of all brothers, Mikey is the one who need praise at the most normal amount.

You guys will probably have compliment competitions while cuddling.

So safe to say praise isn't going to get this dude to do stuff for you.

However, Mikey is able to see how his brothers feel like they can't fully express their feelings and wants them to feel safe enough to do so.

Frankly he wants everyone to feel comfortable enough around him to express their true thoughts and feelings.

So if you are the kind of person to emotionally shut down or pretend like everything is fine when it's not?

He will be a bit more willing to do stuff for you.

Again, there is a line. A straight cut no exceptions line.

Buuuuuut he might be willing to find a couple loop holes just so that his darling can feel better.

Piece of advice tho, don't push it. If he feels like you don't respect his boundaries that's gonna be a whole other issue.

"Hey Mikey!" you chirp as you enter his room, "What'ca up to?"

Mikey looked up at you from the floor, you could see the canvas in front of him and got increasingly excited to see what he was putting together.

"Oh just paintin', like one does," he tells you with a cheeky smile.

"Okaaaaay," you smile back, playing along, "What'ca paintin'?"

At this Mikey looked to his right and then his left, like he was scoping out the area for spies. Except it made less sense since it was his room. Then he looked back up at you and gestured for you to come join him with his hand.

You sat down on the floor and cozied up next to your boyfriend to which he revealed his masterpiece. It was a family portrait of Splinter and his brothers from when they were younger.

"We took this picture a couple years back," he handed you a small photo, "it was always dads favorite so I'm painting it for his birthday!"

"That's so sweet Mikey!"

He smiled and blushed at the compliment. You turned back to the painting. It was beautiful. It was the same picture but Mikey had taken some creative liberties with the colors. They were bright, vibrant, and harmonious. The painting felt like it was buzzing with energy because of it. It felt warm and inviting and at the same time unpredictable. The way the lines, colors, and textures went together, it almost made the painting feel alive, and it was hypnotizing.

"It looks like you've finished, right?" you ask, turning back to him.

"Almost!" He perks, "I just have to add a few finishing touches and it will be done!"

"Weeeeeeelllll," you said mischievously, "Since they're just finishing touches, maybe I could help."

One of the first things that people find out when they meet you is that you suck butt at art. When you met Mikey he tried SO HARD to teach you but no matter how hard you tried it just never clicked. You always saw it as a cute 'opposites attract' sort of thing honestly. The proficient artist and the one who couldn't draw a dot right it they tried. How romantic.

So when your little tease entered the space Mikey knew exactly what you were trying to do.

"Oh no no no my dear," he played along, "You see, I feel your artistic talents are needed else where."

"Else where?" you questioned with big doe eyes feigning innocence.

"Yes. Else where," he told you again, still with his playful expression.

"You mean," you picked up one of his used paint brushes, "HERE! you said as you lunged forward attempting to pin him down in order to paint his face. Attempting.

"NO NOT HERE!" he giggled trying to keep the paint brush from making contact with his face. He had been mostly successful but you still managed to land a couple good swipes.

You both continued to wrestle and giggle as time went on. At one point Mikey flipped you both so he was the one pinning you and reached for a paint brush of his own. You managed to wiggle free in the nick of time and this led to you both running around his room with paint brushes in hand. Every now and again one of you would corner the other, but the other would always manage to escape leading to the chase once again. At one point you realized that you might be able to catch Mikey off guard. You see, outside of cornering each other, all you guy have really done is chase the other and try catch them.

So in a moment of what you deemed to be 'brilliance' you took an abrupt stop and made a sharp turn on your heel to face him. However, that resulted in Mikey crashing right into you and you both falling straight to the floor.

"OH ME GOSH! Are you okay y/n?!" he scrambled to get off you quickly and inspect any possible damage to your person.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I think. Just landed on something hard," you told him as you picked yourself up.

When you looked back at him there was an expression on his face that could only be described as soul crushing horror. You were so confused, and concerned until you followed his line of sight and saw exactly what you landed on.

His painting.

His super sentimental and lovingly handcrafted painting meant as a GIFT FOR HIS FATHER. and now, there was a hole straight through it. Not a small one at that. Not to mention some of the paint was still wet and had gotten smeared and smushed at the impact. There was absolutely no salvaging this painting.

"Oh Mikey I am so sorry," you were horrified at what you had caused. Mikey didn't look at you, he didn't respond either. He walked towards to ruined canvas and slowly knelt down to pick it up.

"I- I didn't mean for this to happen Mikey I'm-" he cut you off.

"Can you please go? We'll talk later, I just need to be alone right now," still without looking at you. You were so heartbroken you had to hold in your tears.

"Okay," you told him in a shaky breath. You left the lair that night, and for the first time since you've known the guys, you left in a considerably worse mood then what you had when you got there.

The look on Mikey's face haunted you that night. You hate to think that you were the one to cause that pain. You were the one that hurt him. You wanted to make it up to him but you didn't know how. It's not like you could remake the painting for him. Heck you couldn't even paint!

You decided it would be best to stay away from the lair until Mikey invited you back. Fortunately for you, it only took about four days for that to happen. Unfortunately for however, it was through a very distressing text that read 'We should talk'. Eeeee 😬

Before you went you baked some cookies to hopefully help lighten the blow. You may not be able to... 'art'... BUT YOU COULD BAKE. When you met with Mikey it was in a secluded area of Todd's Puppy Land, or whatever its called.

"Hey y/n," he said giving you a weak smile and finally looking at you. He looked tired. Like he hadn't slept since you both last talked.

"Hey Mikey," you responded, "I uh. I brought cookies." You gave and awkward smile and his expression softened. He motioned for you to sit next to him on the bench. As you did you placed the cookies between you both as to give him some space.

He sighed, "I'm sorry y/n, I didn't mean-" you cut him off.

"YOUR SORRY?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SORRY ABOUT?!" you were exasperated.

"Well I-"

"NO! I ruined your painting that took you forever to make that you made for your dads birthday! If anyone should be sorry it's me!"

"Thank you," he told you, "and I accept you apology, but it wasn't really your fault. It was an accident due to us both being reckless."

"But I started it!"

"And I didn't stop you, *sigh* listen. I didn't mean to scare you like I did. I just get very emotionally attached to my art so I was having a lot of feelings that day. I want to make it very clear that I don't want to break up with you and I'm not mad at you."

At this, you let out a sigh you didn't even know you were holding. When he looked back at you he was shocked. Your eyes were glassy with tears and your cheeks were red. You looked so sad. And so sorry. Oh, if he didn't already regret what he said to you that day he sure did now. How could he had asked you to leave?

"I still feel bad about it," you told him looking down at your hands. He moved the cookies behind him to close the gap between you both and pulled you into a hug.

"Hey, I get it. But if it makes you feel any better I was able to fix mistakes I made the first time and clean up areas I had previously messed up. On top of that I'm pretty close to being in the same spot with its progress that I was last time," he said, trying to console you. you pulled back to look at him.

"You mean you repainted it?"

"Well yeah. It's pops birthday gift, I had to," he smiled at you.

"Didn't that take you weeks to do?!"

"The first time yeah. But I kind couldn't sleep until I was back to were I was before sooo"

THATS WHY HE LOOKED SO TIRED! HE HASN'T SLEPT IN FOUR DAYS!

"Alright well someone's going to bed right now," you told him, picking up your cookies and dragging him by the wrist. He happily complied and followed you back to the lair. Not before thanking Todd for letting you guys use his space.

Overall, you both were just glad that everything was back to normal.

Raph:

Oh bb. He's so soft for you.

Bro will kiss the ground you walk on.

He's also the most responsible.

However most responsible does not mean least chaotic.

I mean the dude tries to lift a bus and ate a literal phone.

So honestly, I can see him being pretty open to a lot of stuff as long as your safety isn't jeopardized.

Notice how I said 'your safety'?

Yeah. Again, remember the bus incident? I refuse to believe that he wouldn't do something stupid for you as long as he's the only one with a possibility of getting hurt.

That being said, like Mikey he has a line. Unlike Mikey that line is drawn with chalk and is very easily swept away.

Now Raph does not like crossing this line. I mean who likes compromising their boundaries?

But he will do it.

Raph is very susceptible to peer pressure and if it's coming from you of all people? He'll do it.

He won't be happy about it after though.

Like he's happy your happy but he will being to feel like his feelings don't matter to you the same as yours matter to him.

So for the sake of this poor boy please don't press further if he said no the first time.

It makes him feel like a bad boyfriend. :(

You and Raph were cuddling on the couch watching Jupiter Jim movies. As per the usual when you both are bored and have nothing better to do. You were positioned on his lap knees pointing to the side so you could rest your head on his chest.

"Hey Raphy?" you said grabbing his attention.

"Yes?" he said looking down at you.

"You wanna crash a wedding?"

"What?!"

"Do you. Want to. Crash a wedding. ... With me."

"And why are we crashing a wedding?"

"Fun," you told him, "but also I'm bored."

He giggled at you. You were such a little cutie and he could never get over it.

"What would we be doing?"

"Oh ya know, dancing, eating the food, photo bombing. The ushe," you shoot him a cheeky smile.

"Okay, one question though," you nodded at him, "how are we gonna do that with... this whole situation," he told you gesturing to himself.

"Sweets, we're in New York. You put on a suit jacket and act like 'this whole situation' is normal, most people will chalk it up to eccentricity," you told him.

"You sure bout that?"

"I've never been so sure about anything in my entire life."

"Well I guess we have a wedding to prepare for," he said nuzzling his snout into your cheek.

"YESSSsssssssssss!!" you exclaimed.

---

After a quick social media search you found the perfect wedding to crash. You and Raphael dusted off your best wedding attire and set out on a mission to have a good time.

You guys had made it to the reception so you just walked in and pretended like you belonged there. Raph was obviously still a little worried about walking in full green skin and three fingered but you assured him it was fine. And you were kinda right. He definitely got weird looks but he tried his best to follow your advise and pretend like was nothing was wrong. So for a while now body bothered you guys.

"See? What did I tell you, no body even cares!" You smiled at him as you pulled him to the dance floor.

"Yeah, I guess," he told you a tad nervous. He smiled at you regardless and you're both began to dance.

It was a fun, up eat song so you and Raph jumped along in your own little world. Twisting, turning, and shimming to the beat, it felt like you both were walking on air.

After dancing for a couple of songs straight you guys decided to try some of the refreshments. You took some lemonade and the little cheesecake bits and found a vacant table. You both chatted about little things, telling jokes and having a good time.

Eventually someone from the party approached you. She was a skinny old woman. Not old enough to be grey haired and senile but just old enough that she had plenty of wrinkles.

"Excuse me, I don't believe we've met," she told you as she sat down her to you, "what are your names?"

"Oh, I'm y/n and this is Raph," you gestured to him and he gave a small wave.

"Well it's nice to meet you. I'm the brides aunt Tina."

"Well in that case, congrats! I'm sure your so happy for her!"

"I am, Oliver seems like such a a nice man. He treats Sara so well. On that note, who are you here for? The bride or the groom?"

Raph sweat dropped, he didn't like lying and it made him nervous that he might have to if you both wanted to stay.

"Oh we're not," you told her honestly. Raph was relieved for about half a second before he realized that now you guys might cause a whole other scene.

"I'm sorry, not what?"

"Here for either the bride or the groom. We don't know either of them, we were just bored and wanted to dance."

"Wh-," her face showed her absolute disbelief, "This is a family and friends even you can't just waltz in uninvited!"

"Well I mean. You can. We just did. Wether or not that's a respectful thing to do is an entirely different debate though."

Tina's face was starting to turn red.

"Well! I'm going to have to ask you both to leave!" she demanded raising her voice while she stood and pointed to the exit.

"Hey, what's going on Tia?" the bride asked putting a hand on her aunts sholder.

You leaned back in your chair resting your arm over the back of it while you took a swig of your water.

"These two hooligans weren't invited! They don't know anyone here!"

"Well that's hardly fair Tina, I thought we formed a connection over the last five minutes," you teased which prompted Raph to shoot you a disapproving look. Tina looked absolutely appalled by you attitude.

"What?" you questioned Raph with a giggle, "Come on this is kinda funny."

"Your making her upset!"

"Eh, she would have been upset anyways,"

"DONT IGNORE US GET OUT! SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!" Tina was full on screaming now, which prompted Raph to shoot out of his chair. He apologized quickly and picked you up by your sides and ran you both out of the wedding.

"Awwwww I wanted to grab some more of those cheesecake bites before we dipped."

Raph shook his head and smiled.

"Your unbelievable."

[purplepixel]

What if the turtles were in the pokemon world? And what if they were never turtles, but in fact, mutated pokemon? What if they lived in the Castelia sewers of Unova instead of New York?

Meet my Rise/Pokemon AU!! Waaaah this has been on my mind for MONTHS now. Pokemon is that one fixation that'll never leave me. I'm THAT pokemon fan that knows WAAAAY too much about the games and lore. For those that don't know,

Raph is Drednaw

Leo is Wartortle

Mikey is Torkoal

Donnie is Lapras

Yes. They are all shiny. I started with raph, since him as drednaw is pretty much a no brainer. The shiny form fit too well with him and his color scheme. Than I realized if I made him shiny, I had to make the other bros shiny as well so THEY ALL SHINY. (draxum shiny hunter confirmed?) Also dual rock typing fits well with raph's character.

Wartortle for leo was also a pretty obvious choice. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. Long flowy tail? Yes please. I had to keep his markings somehow. Wartortle has little dark cheek spots, so I just changed them to be leo's markings. Water typing leo. Go with the flow, think on the spot, it worked out too well.

Torkoal for Mikey was another easy one. Fire turtle? Passionate, warm, also DANGEROUS (he can be a menace ok) Say no more. His powers in rise are already pyro related. Also having him shiny helped a lot with the color scheme. Torkoal is normally orange so having mikey be the yellow shiny form meant I didn't have to mess with his mask colors

Donnie on the other hand....OHHH BOI I STRUGGLED WITH YOU. I went through 4 DIFFERENT POKEMON, before deciding on the least turtle like of them all. I am aware that we do have a softshell pokemon with enamorous, but it's a legendary so thats not happening. But it was really important for me to keep donnie's soft shell and battle shell. I wanted this to be a RISE au and donnie's battle shell is pretty tied into his character. (there's also tirtouga which I almost went with, but I didn't like that both he and raph shared the exact same dual typing) Soooo, Lapras. Its more of a loch ness monster but it also draws inspiration from a placochelys (prehistoric seaturtle esque species) so IM COUNTING IT. Very unconventional but I have my reasons. Ice typing is a good offensive type, but is pretty bad defensively. Which ties into rise donnie's fighting style. If I wasn't a coward, I wouldve made donnie the biggest of the bros. Since lapras is like 8 feet tall compared to the others being like 1-3 feet. But uhhh, I swear I have an in universe explanation for why he's so small ok.

And than there's April. She is not a pokemon trainer in this au. At least not in the traditional sense. I've been with pokemon for all of my 26 years of life, and I always wanted to know what the normal people of the pokemon world are up to. Not everyone is out here collecting gym badges, travelling, or catching them all. How do non-trainers interact with the pokemon world? So that's where I'm at with April. She will get a pokemon partner, but other than that, she's just an average high schooler who befriended the turtles from a young age and takes part in all their shenanigans. I took some design elements from rosa and hilbert with her outfit, but otherwise its pretty much the same.

We'll see how far I'll take this. I've been using this as a break from my many other projects, but like everything I do, it grew too many legs and is slowly becoming its own thing.

[tmntfixationxreader]

"I just read your Donnie fic and I am in LOVE with the way you write. Sometimes I feel like fics don't really show the emotions of the turtles beyond being shy around reader and I appreciate fluff where the characters actually interact and have a meaningful moment without it having to be sexual. So let me just say your writing feeds my soul. I love it.

That being said can I request a Raph x fem reader crack oneshot?

Reader was a friend of April and April decided that it would be good to introduce the turtles and reader. Little did she know that reader had a thing for big buff dudes, to the point that she goes from generally outgoing to extremely shy within seconds. So when she meets Raph she gets quiet, avoids eye contact, and fidgets frequently. Raph calks it up first time nervousness because he knows that he can be a bit intimidating. Reader eventually starts hanging around the turtles more often and gets closer with Donnie, Leo, and Mikey but is still shy around Raph and it ends up hurting his feelings. He feels like he's too scary and starts avoiding reader. Obviously this is the opposite of what the reader wanted, especially after getting to know him a little bit better and liking him even more.

Bonus points if the reader is taller than most her peers and a bit stronger to so she is often viewed as not feminine. So in order to seem more feminine she wears baggy clothing and curls in on herself to feel small. Happy ending please🙇‍♀️

Sorry if this is too long or too specific 😫 I just really like the way you write and I feel like I can trust you with an idea that is so dear to my heart!!!

Make sure to rest and drink some water.❤️"

♡All requests are anonymous, so here is the copy and pasted ask♡

Thank you so so much for the kind words!! I really appreciate and it fuels me to keep writing <3 Also, I did drink some water.

Here is your request! I hope It is how you wanted it :)

*****************************************************************

♡You don't scare me♡Raph x Fem!Reader♡

~When you get nervous around Raph, he’s worried you are scared of him~

Word count: 3,237 (longest one-shot so far)

Warnings: Fluff, Fem reader, strong/tall reader, reader attracted to strong guys, squishmallows.

*****************************************************************

When Apri skipped up to you, bag over her shoulder with more than a few pencils falling out the back end, you knew immediately she had planned something. 

She was panting, and smiled excitedly at you. “Y/n! Guess what?”

You smile at her, stopping and helping her pick up the pencils that had just fallen out. “What?”

“So you know those friends I told you about?? The ones that don’t go to school here?” She said, grabbing the pencils with you and shoving them messily back into her bag.

“Yeah! That's the brothers right?” You say, standing back upright after you had collected the last of the pencils.

You were easily a head taller than April, had broader shoulders, and had some pretty good muscles on you. From April being small and lesser on the muscle scale, and you being tall and muscular, the comparison made many people do a double take. It just heightened the differences you two had. You two didn’t care though, you liked yourselves just as you two were. And if there were days when you would doubt it, then April was always, always here to prove just how great you were. Just like you were always there for her.

She nodded excitedly. “Yes! Mikey, Leo, Donnie-”

“And Raph,” You finished, grinning, and April nodded happily. “You talk about them a lot.”

She laughed, and you two began walking. “Yeah, I guess I do… Anyways, I had a chat with them and they invited me to bring you to their- er- house!”

Your face lit up with excitement. April had talked about these guys for years. It was about time your finally meet them

“Heck yeah! When can we go?” You ask, putting one hand into your baggy hoodie pocket. You always wore baggy clothes. 

April smiled, pushing her red glasses back up into place on her nose. “After school! If you're not busy.”

You shook your head. “Nope! I’m not busy, I would love to meet them.”

April grinned. “Perfect! I’ll let ‘em know, and we can go after school!”

April found you immediately after school, which wasn’t hard. You two usually walked home together on most days anyways.

What you weren’t expecting was how far away their house was.

It seemed like you two were just walking until the crowd of kids faded away, which turned out to be the idea.

When April turned and went into an alleyway, you got really confused.

“An… Alley?” You said, raising an eyebrow and following her anyways. You trusted April, and knew she wasn’t going to lead you anywhere dangerous. 

April nodded her head side to side. “Well… Yes.. I mean, they aren’t living in the alley…”

She walked over to the sewer gate and lifted the lid. You stared at the sewer entrance.

You raised an eyebrow, and put a hand on your hip.“Ok, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

You trusted April. She had been your best friend for a long time. You two had done a lot of crazy things when you were little; from pulling amazing parkour stunts on the couches to playing Floor is Lava. You two did it all. Now that you two were older, you had broadened the area of things you two could do; the mall, movies, drawing,  unfortunately homework, and you still were the all-time champion of floor is lava.

Even after everything, how April managed to convince you to go into the sewers, you still didn’t know.

That didn’t matter now, you were walking in a sewer tunnel next to April, narrowly dodging some unmentionable things you avoided looking at.

But in all honesty, it wasn’t that bad. It was at first, but the further and closer you got the cleaner it was. Soon the smell went away entirely, and the tunnel was empty and clean. The smell was so gone, that you actually started smelling… Pizza?

The sheer thought of smelling pizza in a sewer tunnel attempted to trigger your gag reflex.

“April… is that pizza?” You ask, feeling nauseated and looking at her like this whole thing was crazy. You were open minded, but this was getting crazy.

April smiled and nodded. “Heh, yeah, the boys like pizza… Mikey is probably cooking some.”

“Ok… So how close… are… we?”  You trail off as you turn a corner, seeing an entrance to what you could only assume was the brothers house. It looked really nice on the inside, from what you could see. Pizza boxes, skate ramps- like the whole place was a skate park on the inside. And that was only what you could see.

April stepped inside. 

"She’s here!” She called into the layer.

“Ok!” A light-toned male voice called back. “Tell us when you're ready!”

April turned back to face you.

You glanced around to see the lack of brothers. “Are… They hiding?”

April nodded nervously. “There’s a couple of things I need to explain first…”

You raised an eyebrow and fidgeted with your hoodie drawstrings. It wasn’t out of nervousness, you were excited.

“Ok… What is it?” You ask. 

April nodded her head side to side. “So… Before you meet them, you need an open mind.”

“April, you know me. I am a very open minded person- as long as they aren't walking crocodiles living in the sewers I'm fine.”

April blinked. “How does a turtle sound?”

You raised both eyebrows. “I like turtles… But what does that have to do with them?”

April smiled slightly. “Mikey, why don’t you come on out!” 

You got slightly excited; you had heard so much about the brothers already, and knew that Mikey was the artistic younger brother.

Mikey slowly side-stepped out from around the corner, a large smile on his face. 

He was… Green? With an orange mask and a… Turtle shell??

Your jaw dropped and you blinked. You were frozen like that for a while. 

Mikey turned kind of shy, giving a small wave.

You waved back, and finally took a breath. “M… Mikey?”

His face lit up into a smile. “Yep! I’m Mikey!!”

You smile a little. “Wow! You're a… Turtle!!”

Mikey smiled back. “Yep! A mutant turtle teenager!”

You smiled back happily, taking a step towards him, and walking around him. You were a head taller than he was. You looked down at his shell, his green skin, and the yellow spots on his shoulders.

“Wow!” You exclaimed, looking back at April, who smiled. “Wait- are your brothers turtles too??”

Mikey nodded. “Yep! Would you like to meet them?”

You nodded, smiling, eyes wide with shock and excitement.

“Leo! Donnie! Come on out!” Mikey called. 

A turtle in a blue mask came out around the corner. The first thing you noticed was that he was a different color green, and he had red crescents around his eyes. He was as tall as you were, close enough that you could probably only tell who was taller by standing side by side.

He waved his hand.

“What’s up Y/n! I’m Leon!” He said in his show-offey-tone. 

You waved back. “Hi Leon!” You said happily.

A turtle in purple came out next. You noticed he had a head wrap instead of a bandana, and he had a pair of goggles mounted on his head. His shell looked different too, like it was metal. And you more than quickly realize it was.

“My name is Donnie, Donatello, and to my loving brother here, Donald,” He said with a sarcastic monotone voice.

You smile, watching Leo lean an arm on Donnie’s shoulder. You give Donnie a wave too.

“Wait, isn’t there one more brother?... Raph right?” You ask the brothers. 

Mikey nods. “Yes in deedy! But there is something you should know first… Raph is a little… Bigger than the rest of us. He wanted me to tell you that first before you met him.”

You shrug. “I am bigger than most people my age, too.”

Mikey smiles. “He may look big and scary, but he really is the sweetest guy…”

You smile and nod, looking around the corner to where the other brothers came out from. 

“Raph? You can come out,” You say.

Then, a turtle who was two heads taller than Leo, and at least twice his size, came out around the corner. He was strong, his arms and legs loaded with muscle, and he had spikes protruding from the top and back of his plastron and back of his shell. 

One small tooth poked out from the right side of his mouth, and he smiled nervously when he spoke, clearly shy.

“Hi… I’m Raph...”

You smiled, and gave him a nervous wave. For someone who was generally outgoing, you suddenly became very shy. You didn’t know exactly why.

Raph smiled, and looked towards Mikey with a smile. For him, it was just a win that you didn’t run away.

“H-hi Raph… I’m Y/n,” You say, smiling up at him but, then looking away back at the other brothers as you felt it growing harder and harder to keep eye contact.

Raph beamed, and nodded happily. “Nice to meet you!”

The brothers and April smiled.

The pizza timer dingged, and everyone looked towards the doorway to the kitchen. 

“Time to eat! Y/n, how do you feel about pizza?” Mikey asked, rocking on his heels excitedly.

You grinned at him. “I love pizza!”

It had been about a month since then, and you and April would hang out with the turtles everyday after school.

You and the turtles had gotten closer, you would play games with Leo and Donnie, and make art with Mikey. You really wanted to train or hang out with Raph, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Something about him was just so… You didn’t want to explain it. But whatever it was, it was making you nervous. You would fidget, avoid eye contact with him, and get much, much quieter. You just couldn’t get yourself to stop being so shy around him, even though you really wanted to hang out with him. 

April and the other brothers didn’t seem to notice, and if Raph noticed. He had avoided you multiple times before. He knew he was big, scary and intimidating, and he thought you just hadn’t gotten used to him yet.

“Hey guys! How about we play a board game?” Mikey called out to the others from where he was playing his video game with you. You had gotten pretty good at that fighting game, and Mikey was getting a little playfully worried that you would beat him soon. That was his high score on the line after all.

You grinned. “Perfect!”

“That sounds great!” April said excitedly, then got up from her spot next to Leo. The two of them had been watching a cartoon on his phone. “I’ll go get one!”

Raph came excitedly into the room, ushering Donnie in as well. Donnie didn’t seem all that pleased about the idea, but perhaps that was just the aloof-bad-boy persona he was trying to perfect.

Everyone gathered around the table, standing over it as April brought in the game, she had chosen Sorry.

You were bubbling with excitement as everyone gathered around… Until Raph took his spot across from you, smiling that adorable smile that had been playing on loop in your head for the past few weeks.

Your heart (for reasons you didn’t want to sort out-) started to flutter again. You took a firm hold of your hoodie drawstrings, seeming to shrink a little. Your smile was still genuine, but it seemed lesser, like you were suddenly self conscious and shy.

The others didn’t notice as they were setting up the game, but Raph did. He always did. He always noticed that you got nervous around him. He really did think you were just shy around him at first, but you had known him for weeks and you still were like this… 

Raph’s smile seemed to fade a little too. 

Just as they were handing him his game token, he put his hands up and took a step backwards. 

“Sorry guys, Raph just forgot that he was supposed to help Dad clean up the living room…” Raph said, speaking in the third person again. Normally you thought that it was adorable when he did that, but something about the way that he was speaking seemed off.

Mikey raised an eyebrow. “You can do it after, I’m sure Dad wouldn't mind if-”

“No, no, Mikey, I told him I would… You guys go ahead and play. Raph’ll catch up with you later…” He said, and walked off towards the living room where his dad was always watching his commercials.

The brothers exchanged glances, and April got up to go after him, when you stopped her. 

“I’ll go get him. You guys go ahead and start, Raph and I will join in the next round,” You say, and follow where Raph had left.

Raph wasn’t in Splinter's room.

You checked the dojo, and the skate ramp before finally finding him in his room.

You heard moving from within his room, but his curtain was pulled covering the door so you didn’t let yourself in. Instead you knocked on the doorframe.

“R-Raph? Are you coming?” You asked.

“Uh- Y/n… Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute…” Raph said. You stood quietly for a moment.

“Can I come in?” You asked.

“Yeah… Sure,” He said. 

You stepped through the curtain into his room. He was sitting on his bed, the mattress bowing beneath his weight. 

His room was nice, a few posters, some weapons hung up, and a few scratches on the walls from his spikes. It was pretty clean, surprisingly.

The one defining feature was the squishmallow on his bed, each neatly in place. That made you smile. 

He watched you expressionless for a moment.

You watched him. 

“Can I sit down…?” You asked quietly. He nodded.

You sat down next to him. It was weird being smaller than someone, you were normally much taller than the rest of your peers, so sitting next to someone so much bigger than you was almost a relief. You more than often hunched over to make yourself feel smaller, but next to Raph you felt like you didn’t have to do that. It makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin.

Raph watched you for a moment. “Why did you come to get me?”

You shrug, playing with your hoodie drawstrings again. “The others got worried when you left, so I volunteered to come and get you.”

Raph nods a little. “But… Why?”

You shrug again, seeming nervous. “I wanted you to come and play.”

Raph looked slightly surprised, shifting so he was facing you. “But… You don’t like Raph. I make you scared… Why would you want me there?”

You look extremely confused. “What? Scared? You don’t make me scared, Raph.”

Raph shook his head, his voice quiet. “But I do… I'm big… I’m scary… I make you scared..”

You looked at him like he was crazy. “What? Why would I be scared of you! You're one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever met!”

He blushes a little at the compliment. “But… You're always fidgeting when you're around me… You get quiet. You don’t like hanging out with Raph.”

You shake your head, reaching up and putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“I love to hang out with you, Raph… Actually it’s been making me a little disappointed that you keep avoiding me.”

Raph nodded. “Sorry… Raph just thought you would like it better if I stayed away…” His eyes dropped down to the mattress.

You shook your head. “Raph, why would you think that? You don’t make me scared, or intimidated at all…” 

“Y/n, I’m a giant mutant snapping turtle. You do get nervous around me. You don’t have to be sorry for that, I get it,” He said, attempting to give you a fake smile, but you saw right through it.

“Raph… I do get nervous around you, but it’s not because I think you're scary. Promise… But I get where you're coming from… Actually, you're a lot like me. I’m so much bigger than everyone else my age, and I'm not trying to brag, but I'm pretty strong in comparison to them, too. I’ve had a lot of people avoid me before.”

Raph looks at you, waiting for you to continue. When you don’t, he speaks.

“So… If you're not scared… Then why are you so nervous?” He asks. You put your hands in your lap and fidget a little again.

“W-well… See… I…” You stutter.

Raph looks confused. 

You sigh, taking a deep breath.

“Well, I… I kind of have a thing for big strong guys…” You mutter.

Raph blinks, and blushes without his expression changing. 

His eyes widened. “Oh- so you're not scared of me- you… you just have a thing for big strong guys?”

You nod a little, feeling your own cheeks burn.

Raph’s eyes widen even more. “Wait- I’m a big strong guy!”

You chuckle, and nod. 

His jaw drops momentarily and he blushes. “Ohhhh- so you think i’m-” He puts a finger to his chest and waits for you to speak.

You nod again. “Y-yeah…”

His face lights up into a bright smile. “S-so you think I’m… Attractive?”

“Yeah… Very…” You say, feeling your cheeks burn. You are smiling a little, but taking out all of your nerves on your hoodie drawstrings.

Raph grins and he blushes. “So you're not scared of me?”

You shake your head, smiling.

Raph nods, grinning. He blushes a little more. “Y/n… Can I tell you something?”

You nod, still blushing. “Of course…”

“Well… I kind of have a thing for strong girls…” He smiled, face as red as his mask.

You blush, looking down at the mattress with a grin.

“So… You…” You say and wait for him to answer.

He nods. “You probably don’t realize it… But you're really cute, Y/n…” He blushes a lot.

You smile, blushing and feeling awkward. “T-Thanks…”

You two sit in the silence for a moment.

“So… You probably think that someone as big and strong as I am is weird for collecting squishmallows then…” Raph said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

You immediately shake your head. “Nope! I’ve got a few at home too.”

Raph’s eyes lit up. “Really! What ones? What are their names?”

You grin. “I’ve got Abby the octopus, Caddie the cat, and Darex the dinosaur!”

Raph grinned. “Cool! I have quite a few… I can show you if you want!”

You nod excitedly, and Raph shifted so he could show you his collection better…

For the next half hour, you and Raph talk about both of your squishmallows, and the conversation slowly shifts from your favorite tv shows, to your favorite foods, and your favorite music.

You and Raph learned a lot more about each other, and you two grew much, much closer.

Eventually April comes up to say the second round is starting, and you two play the game with the others. 

And this time, when Raph stands across the counter from you and smiles that adorable smile of his, you smile back. 

And if you get nervous, he knows it’s not about his appearance or that you think he’s scary… 

…It’s because you like him…

…And he might just like you back…

*****************************************************************

Hope you like it! Thank you very much for the request! <3

This one ended up being longer, my brain took the story and ran with it lol

I am currently working on 4 other requests, and I will write them in the order I received them :)

Master post

Bye bye Butterflies!!

[taffybear]

random list of my bay Leo headcanons ❤

working on Raph next! let's see how many ideas i get lol

also opening my inbox for writing (and perhaps even drawing) requests! feel free to drop me an ask <3

literally loves mitski and mac demarco. he likes very indie hopeless romantic type music, it's literally hilarious to catch him just vibing in his feels

SECRETLY HAS PINTEREST BAHAHAHAHA but just for finding poetry and looking at bonsai trees. Mikey found out (like he doesn't have pinterest too??) and they all ended up making fun of him for it to the point where Leo debated deleting the app but ended up forgetting about it.

very specific but he has this unique type of love language where he'll ask you something and without any further questions he will go get or accomplish whatever he hinted at. for example, y'all will just be hanging out, and he'll go, "are you hungry?" and if you just as much nod your head hesitantly he will run to the kitchen and make you a 3 course meal. or, he'll just ask you if you're cold, and if you say yes he brings you a heater and a blanket. he doesn't ask things like, "can i get you a water?" he'll just ask if you're thirsty and go from there.

has the most gorgeous handwriting on the planet. this beautiful cursive print that is lowkey unreadable but so aesthetically pleasing. at first you were shocked but as you got to know him it made lots of sense, literally probably his biggest hobby is just remembering some random thing and then spending weeks straight perfecting it until it's natural for him. he loves to challenge himself to be perfect at literally anything, and his hand writing is one of those instances.

HE'S LITERALLY A VIRGO GUYS HE IS THE DEFINITION OF A VIRGO OH MY GOD

speaks fluent japanese OF COURSE but his brothers don't know it as well as he does (they all know a little at least) and he'll curse them out quietly in japanese behind their backs.

Leo wouldn't say he had a favorite brother of course but he definitely prefers Don's presense over the others. they always go to each other first when they have a problem or just want to rant, and they have a bunch of inside jokes.

after Donnie, Leo's the biggest insomniac. he gets nightmares a lot unfortunately, and most times when he wakes up he physically can't go back to sleep. literally Mikey will get up for a glass of water at 5:37 in the morning and Leo is up doing flips.

very random, but Leo is AWFUL at math. he meant to learn at some point but the time passed and he missed the boat. ofc math is Don's second language and Mikey and Raph couldn't care less (but somehow Mikey always guesses the right answers without doing the correct work??) but Leo is lowkey embarrassed that he struggles with it so much. he can do basic math and most things that come up in daily life like practical equations, but anything past times tables and division he is cannot understand. if you come over and need help on your math homework he will try his HARDEST to help you but ultimately he's completely clueless.

always takes bugs outside. if the creepy crawly is creepy enough or makes you screech, he'll whip it with his katana but normally he'll take the time to scoop it up in his hands (literally no fear) and walk it outside calmly.

literally LOVES doing chores. it's like a form of self care for him. folding laundry, sweeping, mopping, washing the dishes, organizing the dojo, he'll literally put on some music and go to town. when he visits you he will literally just start straightening things up and picking things off of the floor. he hates having nothing to do so he'll just ask for something he can clean while y'all chit chat.

incredibly flexible. he can bend every which way, sit comfortably in a split for hours, can bend over IN HALF and grab the back of his legs--he's literally maxed out on flexibility. but splits training is his private time so unless you sneak you won't catch a glance. but when you do, in between of sliding dojo doors, it is... something. like excuse me sir how tf doesn't that hurt your bAWLLS

smells like lavender. dead serious his signature scent is lavender. it's not like he wears cologne or anything, he just lights a lot of lavender incense and candles to the point where if someone even steps foot in his room they walk out aroma-fied.

everyone in the fandom has their personal opinion of who's the best cook and who's the worst cook of the four, and it is finally time for my hot take of the century. i think Leo is by far the best chef, and Raph is the one who can't even make toast right. a lot of people say Mikey is the chef of the family, which i agree with, he enjoys cooking and baking very much, but this doesn't mean the food he makes is good 💀💀💀 he trusts himself over any recipe and so he just throws in whatever he feels like. Leo can't stand being in the kitchen while Mikey is cooking, his ocd can't stand it. this said, you'd think this would mean the guys prefer Leo's cooking over Mikey's but fact is Leo is such a perfectionist he will spend hours working on a meal it's past 11 by the time he's done. and he doesn't take requests, he only makes what he wants and then on top of that the healthnut version. he makes sushi a lot and goes crazy when you bring him salmon.

IS SUCH A DORK BAHAHAHA if you even so much MENTION a book or a show he likes he will blabber for HOURS about it. he knows every single fact there is to know about star trek it is insane. you amuse him not because you're interested of course but he is just so damn adorable when he's talking about something he enjoys (which he rarely gets the chance to without being made fun of LMAO)