#You weren't even in the room

[kneadbees]

Bro stop fucking posting about us

[homielander]

shiv's motivations for voting to pass the gojo deal are so layered and i don't think they should be dismissed in favour of any one interpretation. shiv desperately grabbed on to a lifeline for her relationship with tom. shiv was the deciding vote and she couldn't bear to hold the crown only for a moment just to place it atop her brother's head. shiv knew she would have more influence as wife of CEO rather than sister of CEO. shiv absolutely hated seeing kendall crystallize into logan before her eyes, especially when he made roman bleed ("and if we did kill him we get to go to bed") -- succession has always been about siblings so of course she tried to free her brothers before her child. shiv still thinks she can raise her child with all the material benefits of being the daughter of waystar CEO while doing better by her, whatever that means. and all of those things are true

[tvckerwash]

I'm gonna confess something here: I remember being more invested in dylan's implied marriage problems that were only brought up in one scene than I was in the rest of the plot of s15. fuck the blues and reds, fuck dumb grimmons drama, fuck locus redemption, I want to know if dylan's going to get divorced!

[trans-cuchulainn]

any other disabled people feel like they're losing their mind trying to get anyone around them to give a flying fuck about protecting others. i had a blood test today and the nurse had a cold and was sniffing and snuffling all over the place, not wearing a mask, not making any effort to turn away, and i'm sitting there just as fucking immunocompromised as i was four years ago when they were all in PPE and i'm wondering what the fuck's going on tbh

[figureofdismay]

they thing is, carter's 'scully left mulder bc he got so depressed and mentally ill so she had to leave for His Own Good/For The Implementation Of Gratuitous Mulder Manpain' post canon character decision is that Scully simply wouldn't.

She would not leave him.

Not in a 'she loves him too much to leave him, isn't it romantic' way, though.

She Wouldn't leave him in a 'they're too enmeshed by then to even seriously contemplate it, he's been literally dead before and also on the run apart from her and she never considered them Over, and then they spent a good few years on the run together in the 00s in not even slightly cheery circumstances, and if, after 20 years of unconsciously warping themselves around each other's neuroses and serious trauma, she can lift her head up far enough from their personal morass of dependency and compensation to see that he's depressed it'd be a feat. She might, with this clarity of vision, at times consider leaving to 'shock' him out of it, but she Can't because he's her whole support system and his belief in her and his persistence is the bedrock of her continued functionality in the face of stupendous loss and confusion by like year 3 of knowing each other, and not having him or his vision of her to lean on was bad enough when there was literally no other choice. So. No, even in the midst of that through process, she probably wouldn't really go all the way through with it.

But it's equally likely that, just like in rocky eras of their earlier FBI days, she'd only be able to accurately see how much he was struggling very intermittently, and mainly just start subconsciously altering her behavior and frame of mind to accommodate him or meet him, while maybe having the instinct to try to aim them at some kind of goal or occupation (ie some kind of warning signal going in the back of her mind that says understimulated Mulder is unhappy, though probably not that bluntly coherent).

[crystal-verse]

I won't have time to do anything tomorrow, so here's an early valentine's gpose instead. Local god lays in bed using his beloved Exarch's lap as a pillow.

(gpose brought to you via @wind-up-nhaama 's The Pendants Suite in the lavender beds)

[faceofpoe]

The thing about *that* line from Crosshair

I am frustratingly torn between accepting the crumbs of him finally actually verbally 15 episodes later *acknowledging* Tech's death??

Vs thinking he really ought have said Clone Force 99 died with the Republic.

The Empire broke them and they never got to be whole again. They struggled for 3 seasons. Tech died in the desperate gasp to put them back together.

[binch-i-might-be]

anytime I start being a bit bothered by the oversaturation of a new au or concept around these parts I remind myself of Jonathan Clark

[sebbyisland]

i'm gonna be honest I don't care for Lucifer as a Redeemed Father Figure until he explicitly apologizes for being an absent father and also that it's actually acknowledged in the show that this happened and it sucks. He's clearly a man who had mental health challenges that prevented him from being present for his child. He's depressed, he still wears his wedding ring after at least seven years of divorce, he got kicked out of his home and LITERALLY sent to Hell. Even though he never blamed Charlie for any of that, he hurt his daughter. To say that Lilith "separated" him from Charlie takes away his own autonomy and responsibility as a parent. Charlie's mom has been MIA for literally seven years. What was stopping him from reconnecting then? Charlie is in her late 20s at MOST. Who has Charlie had to rely on except Vaggie and some Dinsey princess animal friends for nearly a decade through her young adulthood? Not her father nor her mother.

This isn't all to say Lucifer doesn't love Charlie. Clearly, Charlie reaching to him for help was a needed first step to rekindle a relationship he desperately wanted. However, it's very telling that Charlie waited until she was truly desperate to reach out to Lucifer. She loves her father, but she doesn't trust him, and she shouldn't. It's up to Lucifer from this point on to earn back her trust. Yes, mental health is difficult, and I'm happy that he seems to have realized that his love for Charlie is more important than his destroyed ideals, that there is more in life to appreciate. I'm happy for him and I love how he truly just wants to support Charlie the best he can. But he's still an irresponsible clown, and until that's addressed, I just don't think he gets to have a "Fathering Trying His Best" award. His behavior is realisitc in that most shit parents DO want to just pretend their shit behavior never happened and everything is good now, but it's not fair to their loved ones. It's ESPECIALLY not fair to Charlie.

I know this might not be as important to other fans watching, but I'm just a little dissappointed because I think there was a lot more we can get from the Charlie-Lucifer dynamic that I'm not sure the show will address in the future. Maybe in season 2? Here's to hoping idk.

[stormyoceans]

losing my mind like. sorry i know i never shut up about dark pete burning the whole mafia world down to save vegas and macau but. i've seriously been losing my mind over it like

give me vegas and macau being late home after vegas went to pick macau up at school on his bike and not answering their phones and pete immediately knowing something is wrong. give me pete calling chay to ask if he saw them actually leave together and then, at chay's affirmative answer, calling arm all business-like: "i need a favor, but you can't tell anyone about it. if you won't help me just say so right away, i don't have time to waste." give me pete asking arm to hack into the security cameras on the way from macau's school to their home and watching all the footages until he spots a van cutting vegas' bike off and then taking vegas and macau away.

give me pete figuring out it's not a ransom situation but a personal vengeance. give me pete manipulating, bribing, maiming, and torturing people, promising them not to kill them if they give him the information he needs and then killing them anyway because whoever was behind this can't know pete is coming and dead men tell no tales. give me kinn and porsche eventually finding out what’s happening and asking pete why he didn’t go to them for help. give me pete answering, cold and detached, ‘frankly, i haven’t ruled out the involvement of the main family in this, yet. nor of the new minor one.’ give me porsche’s indignant ‘ai’pete!’ before trying to stop pete from leaving. give me pete pointing his gun at porsche because yes, porsche is his friend and pete loves him dearly, but that’s pete’s family they’re talking about and no one – NO ONE – is gonna tell pete how he has to go about saving it, if someone was stupid enough to think they could mess with vegas and macau now that they don’t hold the title of heirs of the minor family anymore, well then pete has to show them just how fucking wrong they are and bring them as an example for everyone else.

give me pete finally finding out who’s behind it and where they are keeping vegas and macau and getting ready to bring down an entire building full of people armed only with a gun and a knife. give me pete being smart about it, using stealth and smoke bombs to conceal his attacks, preferring the knife over a gun he would have to reload over and over again, putting into practice his experience as a boxer and all of chan’s teachings: circle around the target rather than move in a straight line; forgo the heart and target the abdominal aorta that sits unguarded at the top of the abdomen at the meeting of the ribs; if the opponent is guarding their vital targets well, strike at less vital areas to make the defender move and then go for the carotid in the neck, the brachial artery in the arm or the radial artery in the forearm, the femoral artery in the leg, the abdomen. give me pete finding macau locked alone in a room and macau not caring about the blood covering pete from head to toes and just hugging him tight because pete really came for them. give me pete handing the gun to macau because there’s no way he’s leaving macau behind and the two of them fighting their way to wherever they’re keeping vegas. give me vegas tied to a chair, half-high with whatever drug they injected in his system to keep him from fighting back, a constellation of cuts and bruises all over his body. give me vegas never seeing something so beautiful as pete, covered in blood and knife in hand, killing the dudes assigned to keep guard to vegas' room and then dropping on his knees in front of vegas to gently cup his face and put their foreheads together.

and the fucker who did this? give me pete dragging him in front of vegas and macau and not killing him right away, but slowly cutting him up and tearing him apart for every wound he can see on the two brothers: a tooth for macau’s split lip, an eye for the bruise blooming on vegas’ cheekbone, all of his fingers for vegas’ broken arm. and then, finally, give me pete bringing vegas and macau home and the three of them piling together in the same bed, holding each other all night, their little family of three that no one is allowed to touch.

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: December 19

"We're An American Band" by Grand Funk Railroad

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

Soo about the translation for Se Telefonando you mentioned in your author's note... is it too much to ask? 👀 (and am I setting myself up for more heartbreak by sending you this?)

kdskdhk ok I'll be honest. I was waiting for someone to ask because I've actually written a full-blown literary analysis for Se Telefonando and I have to share it here. My friend, I hope you don't mind if I use your ask to share my essay :')

Let's do this: I'll write my own translation down here, and I'll add my many, many notes (both on the translation itself, and on how it relates to the fic) under a cut. You can decide for yourself if it's heartbreaking or not :)

Ready?

Here's my translation:

The wonder of the night, opened wide over the sea,

Caught us unawares while we were still strangers, you and I

Then, in the dark, your hands suddenly on mine:

It’s grown too quickly, this, our own little love

If I could tell you goodbye just by calling, I’d call you

If I was certain you wouldn’t suffer seeing me again, I’d see you again

If I could tell you to stop while looking you in the eyes, I’d look at you

But I can’t explain to you that our newborn love is already over (x2)

Notes under the cut:

Alright, just a bit of context first. Se Telefonando was written in 1966 by De Chiara and Costanzo, two notable Italian pop music and TV personalities, and arranged by the world-famous composer Ennio Morricone. It was written specifically to be sung by Mina, a legend of Italian pop music with a unique voice (who, in fact, gives a wonderful interpretation of the song!). So: big names for the lyrics, big name for the melody, big name for the singer. And it shows!

Let's take it from the top.

Lo stupore della notte spalancata sul mar

The word stupore evokes in Italian the same feeling that wonder evokes in English: something that can be child-like, a special kind of surprise that leaves you speechless. This feeling is caused by the coming of the night, spalancata [= opened wide] over the sea: the word spalancata is used when doors are opened completely and (often) suddenly. So, all in all: the night opens without warning, like a portal to another world, over the sea, and surprises the two lovers (we'll meet them in the next verse, don't worry). Quite the start, huh?

Ci sorprese che eravamo sconosciuti, io e te

The verb ci sorprese (whose subject is the aforementioned night) could be literally translated as surprised us; I preferred a caught us unawares to convey, once again, the feeling of unexpectedness and wonder that overcomes the pair. The romance the singer shares with her lover happened quickly and unexpectedly; so much so that they were still sconosciuti, strangers, when they fell in love. I love the juxtaposition in the second half of the verse, here: the singer says they were surprised by their feelings when they were still strangers, but then immediately adds io e te, that is you and I, which communicates a strong familiarity to me -- yes, we were strangers, but we were also you and I. So familiar and intimate I don't even have to use any other words: we're the only people in our whole world.

A short note on the fic: the idea of the Girls being surprised by their bond is actually canon (Dorothy says it out loud in the finale: the Girls' friendship is a gift she never expected at that point in her life). I liked the parallel with this verse -- the Girls learned to know each other (ie became you and I rather than strangers) through the lens of their quick and deep friendship, and I've always loved that. (In the particular universe of the fic they didn't properly analyze what their actual feelings were, but we'll get to that in a moment.)

Poi, nel buio, le tue mani d'improvviso sulle mie

I love the intimacy in this verse. The theme of surprise is still there (d'improvviso = suddenly), but the real gem is the figure of the lover's hands on the singer's to indicate physical intimacy. Using the hands as a shortcut to suggest a physical relation (as part of their love) makes it delicate and romantic, while still clearly conveying the intimacy of the act. It doesn't even say they hold hands, or intertwine fingers: a very simple your hands on mine is all that's necessary.

Note also that this happens nel buio [= in the dark]: here's the full uncovering of the metaphor that carried us through the first two verses, ie the night (or, more in general, the darkness) as a placeholder for the feelings that caught the pair by surprise.

È cresciuto troppo in fretta questo nostro amor

There's the first crack in the picture. We've lived in dream land until here: the coming of the night, the softness, the intimacy, the sweet (almost lullaby-like) music... but here comes the reckoning: the love between our two characters è cresciuto troppo in fretta, has grown too quickly. Before we move on to examine the consequences of this hurry in the chorus, there's one small moment of tenderness left: questo nostro amore, literally this, our love. The literal translation doesn't convey just how soft and intimate the phrasing sounds in Italian: it's a love that's specifically ours, to be cherished, to be protected, to be nurtured (to be grown -- albeit too quickly). Hence the inclusion of own and little in my translation -- it felt like the right way to evoke similar feelings in English.

Se telefonando io potessi dirti addio, ti chiamerei Se io rivedendoti fossi certa che non soffri, ti rivedrei Se guardandoti negli occhi sapessi dirti basta, ti guarderei

Ah, the chorus! Finally. The first line here is the title of the fic, and what inspired it in the first place: the idea of someone not being able to call because they can't bear actually saying goodbye to their lover was just too delicious not to explore -- and since the theme was phone calls, it made sense to only tell the story through said phone calls (and it made for a fun challenge, too!).

The repeated if/then structure in this chorus is amazing. The stakes are increased after every line: the first verb, se telefonando, is almost impersonal (it means if just by calling generally, not if by calling you specifically), and yet it's already juxtaposed with potessi dirti addio, ie I could tell you goodbye (and addio is a proper, forever goodbye, not just a see you later!). Then we have rivedendoti [= seeing you again] in the second verse, and guardandoti negli occhi [= looking you in the eyes]; progressively more and more intimate actions. This is the desperate plea of a woman who knows she has to part from her lover (although we don't know why; the reasons are never explained) and begs him to see on his own that their relationship is over, because she doesn't have the strength to tell him personally. She longs to see him (as testified by the growing intimacy in the actions she describes) but at the same time she can't even call him on the phone, because she knows she'll capitulate if she does; she knows she has to tell him, but she also knows she's not able to bear it.

Note that this is also underlined by the music: the theme becomes much more dramatic than it was during the first stanza, the three verses are sung in crescendo (Mina was a powerhouse of a singer!), and the melody is transposed higher and higher at each verse. One really gets the sense of urgency and helplessness in the singer's plea: she needs to say all these things, she must say goodbye to her lover and their encompassing, surprising love, but she can't.

You can see why I was so inspired to use this for the Girls, can't you? :)

Ma non so spiegarti che il nostro amore appena nato è già finito

And finally -- the last line, and the moment of peak tension. The chorus has upped the ante with every line, bringing us closer and closer to the precipice, and now we're on the cusp: the music resolves, and we fall down. The song until this point was still suspended, in a way; we could feel the desperation in the singer's voice, we knew what was hiding behind all those hypotheticals, but it's only now that the truth is out in the open: I can't explain to you that our newborn love is already over. Game, set, match.

First of all: non so spiegarti literally means I don't know how to explain to you -- but that sounds almost whiny in English (to me, at least). What the lyrics are trying to convey here is a feeling of helplessness: the singer has no words to explain to her lover that their story is over (hence why she can't even call him on the phone).

And then the kicker: our newborn love is already over. The image of a newborn love fits the motif of child-like wonder and love growing we already encountered in the stanza: it's a sort of juxtaposition between the innocence of feeling (love, in this specific case, that makes one feel open and light again) and the cruelty of real life (that forces the lovers apart). This same juxtaposition is found in the music as well: I've already mentioned that the melody is almost lullaby-like in the stanza, it becomes much more dramatic in the chorus, and the song ends with a trailing tail of la-la-la that would not be too out of place in a children's playground (which, to me, only serves to further drive home the divide).

The idea of a newborn love is not exactly what I was going for in the fic, but it's still closely aligned: I figure in this universe the Girls were just about to have their oh moment when Dorothy got her chance to run away and left them all heartbroken. Sophia even comments on it in her voicemail message: she thought they were days away from it. You know that common sapphic experience of being very, very close to one of your friends, and then she starts dating someone else, and you feel heartbroken even though you two were never really in a relationship (and maybe you never even realize you had feelings for her until a decade later)? That's the vibe I was going for: being almost there but never saying anything explicit, so that when it all crumbles down, it falls spectacularly. Not a newborn love, but an almost-born love, in a way. An almost-born love that is over before it had a chance to begin.

And that's it, I think! My lit teacher would be proud of me. It's been a while since I had the chance to analyze anything in *this* much depth and I had a wonderful time. Hope you enjoyed reading this far -- and I'm always open to questions, if you have any!

[dawei-s]

Close to my grandma's age when she had my dad literally wtf

[habibialkaysani]

welp. I watched the first 4 eps of bridgerton S3 after work. I have so many thoughts but mostly I've still not recovered from three specific scenes: one in bed, one on a desk, and one in a carriage.

[starpros-sunshine]

Pls i cant stop thinking about the 5 eccentrics finding out (well, minus wataru) Rei calling Shu like hey, did you hear that eichi got married. And shu being upset wataru didnt tell him, i mean, yes they wanted a private wedding maybe but at least let HIM kno- "no, not to wataru" "......oh tenshouin must have a deathwish then". So it's bad as it is but then they find out wataru didnt know either and ensemble square needs to up its security because theres nothing that can protect eichi from their wrath. I like the idea of passive aggressive rei because he Knows what the others have in store

I think even in that case Wataru would still be like "well...you know, it's a shame but it couldn't be helped" and he'd put such an effort into pretending he's fine but one look at him and it's obvious he's been crying

[gottagobuycheese]

head against wall head against wall head against wall