#a healthy player-manager relationship in this day and age????

[ugartecoco]

paulo and ddr were soooo cute in todays press conference

[sandwormrp]

Opening Day: May 10th

Happy May! We're not far from opening day now! *kazoo noises*

You're probably wondering if I have more gifs up my sleeve. The better question would be how many times can I write *kazoo noises*

If you want to be tagged on opening day, leave a like/comment/emoji

This is a premium rated 3/3/3 community-driven site, we require all members, characters, and faces to be 18+ years of age.

We support writers in all shapes and sizes. We're LGBTQ+ friendly, and will have plenty of nsfw themes included, though it's optional. Those who aren't interested in writing mature content are more than welcome here!

Here's some of the guidebook rules;

► Site Culture

Our vision is to be a relaxed-paced site where characters progress and develop at their own pace. We're all human at the end of the day. Family, work, and life, in general, will sometimes take over. As a whole the site is more receptive to new members who make an effort to socialize, build connections, and basically show they are intending to stick around.

Joining a new group is always nerve-wracking, it can be terrifying to share! Showing an interest will bring that back around to you. We'll also do our best to make you feel appreciated, welcomed, and included here.

Do want to stress; when we say relaxed paced we mean it. Some members will take this very literally. Patience is a must for this site. Try to look for members which suit your pace of writing better.

You can check out the 'posting frequency' roles on profiles and introductions, members can change them according to what fits them best. Life gets in the way sometimes and we respect that the site can't always be a priority for people.

► Player Conduct

All we ask is that you take the initiative to participate if you want to find new characters to write with and try to stay in touch in our chat. We believe you get out of roleplay whatever you put into it.

We’re all here for our love of writing. Do your part in out-of-character chats to keep the community happy and healthy. You and your needs are important and valid! Speak up when you need help. We want everyone to have a good time. Just keep in mind this is a hobby for us all, staff included.

We expect you to be 18+ and able to manage your own relationships/plots with other writers. Show interest in others, ask questions, and you'll get the same in return!

Plenty to do to garner interest, like putting time into creating a relatable character that can also tie into others stories, contacting other writers on discord with interest in their characters will make others want to plot with you more, throwing out a couple of open threads will set the bait for others to bite, and so on.

Communication is key!

► Character Conduct Godmod / Power Play / Metaplaying

It's frowned upon to handle another character without the players consent, especially when it comes to fights. We highly recommend communicating beforehand with your writing partner. This is to give you an idea of where you both want the thread to go, and keep an open line of communication on what you're comfortable with as the thread progresses. This should be done with every new writer you work with. You'll find that you can get comfortable with some writers and no longer need to check in to do things. Starting with consent and communication first will make for happy players and awesome threads all round!

This also needs to be taken into consideration for characters vs environment. Be it creatures or NPC enemies. Make it as realistic as you can. No character/house/ship etc should be stronger/better than the lore's canons. One or two characters aren't going to easily take down a team of trained enemies, or against other characters, so make the struggle really happen! Show weakness, find alternative solutions. Your character doesn't need to win every battle, making them imperfect will bring about a more balanced storyline and development for them! Try to give your character a personal mission of their own and some flaws for them to overcome. Give them weak points, quirks, hobbies, pet peeves. Make them as realistic as you can so that they're interesting to play with.

Metaplaying refers to using player knowledge your character wouldn't have otherwise known. Sometimes events, secret messages, missions and general plots might take an unexpected turn for your character. Very much like life in general, it isn't always going to go to plan, so try to roll with it! We're big on finding another way around the problem, so you can totally do that too.

► Site Activity

No activity checks! Stick around as long as you like. Come and go when you please. No pressure to write. Go at your pace.

We'll try to keep the board organized; meaning any in-character threads will be routinely archived after three months without a reply. Fear not! Can ask for them to be moved back in #moderation on Discord.

Be sure to do at least a monthly bump of any requests you may want to keep active. There's no strict guidelines of when you can or cannot bump. Once a week is our rule of thumb, but if it's over or under - we won't hold it against you.

► Kanly Formal feud or vendetta under the rules of the Great Convention carried on according to the strictest limitations.

Kanly is a form of legalized warfare between two or more houses, so long as it does not claim lives of non-house civilians. Kanly is recognized by the Emperor and the Landsraad, and when so, the two houses can go at each other within the boundaries described above. In the lore, the appearance was that the Harkonnens wiping the Atreides out with a straight up surprise attack, with overwhelming numbers (and at great cost). As far as the rest of the Imperium is concerned, it was a brutal (but acceptable) war of Kanly. Build up allies with other people. Establish some in-character enemies. There are no heroes or good guys in this story. Your houses gains are another houses losses. We operate under the assumption that no house has clean hands - no matter how noble or just they appear. As always, make sure communication with others is a priority and that everyone's on board. If win/loss outcomes cannot be decided amongst yourselves, staff can roll a dice for you to help determine outcomes.

If you want to be tagged on opening day, leave a like/comment/emoji

[zer0-worlds-demise]

50 Questions answered!

1) Age? : 30

2) Relationship status?: Engaged

3) Current Occupation?: Analytical Chemist

4) How tall are you?: 6 foot

5) Any brothers or sisters?: 2 older sisters

6) Can you speak any other languages?: Sea tá Gaeilge agam. Rud éigin

7) Childhood hero?: When I was a kid I know I really liked Mike Ness and thought he was the coolest dude in the world. I also really liked Gary Roberts and Tie Domi.

8) Last song you listened to?: Clouds over California by Devildriver

9) Last album you listened to?: Total Retaliation by Terror

10) Song lyrics that influenced you?: Pride by Madball had a really big impact on me when I was growing up and was one of the first hardcore songs I ever heard and the fact that it was talking about pain but with a positive spin on it was really huge for me.

11) What did you want to be as a kid?: I always wanted to be either a pro hockey player or a scientist

12) Current celebrity crush?: Um, the only one I can think of right now is maybe Mette Lindberg

13) First celebrity crush?: Oh man, when I was a kid I loved pro wrestling and I was in absolute love with Stacy Keibler!

14) Are you related to anyone famous?: Its a bit of a stretch, but my second cousin is Elizabeth Yarnold. So kinda sorta.

15) Proudest accomplishment?: Sticking to my guns, never giving up on my dreams of becoming a chemist, and finally becoming a chemist. The hardships iv had to face, all the setbacks, all the bullshit, all the times the school board trued to take my education away from me. I never gave up, I never stopped fighting, and it is a huge source of pride for myself.

16) What do you do to keep fit?: I try to eat healthy, I try to go for walks and work out 5 days a week.

17) Biggest Flaw?: I am so god damn selfdestuctive and most of my late teens and early twenties were dedicated to learning how to manage that.

18) Whats one thing you will never do again?: Get in the car with a drunk driver. I am so lucky nothing happened but I think about it from time to time and I just can not believe I would do something that fucking stupid.

19) Random fact about yourself?: At birth I was actually given the name Paul, but since I looked so much like my dad they changed it to Glenn jr. Oh and my parents were not sure if I was going to be a boy or girl so they had a female name picked out if I was a girl. I would have been named Brittney. Thank god that didnt happen!

20) Do you believe in ghosts?: No I do not see the arguement for them

21) Do you believe in aliens?: I mean not in the little green men sense, but I mean life on another planet seems rather logical based on the sheer size of the universe.

22) Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?: I do think that all major political parties are bought and in the pockets of big business, although I do believe it still matters what party is in power and small changes can still be taken care of by political parties.

23) Ever had a crush on a friend?: Um, yea in high school there have been friends who I thought were attractive and kinda thought about maybe dating, but I almost never tried though just because usually it involved someone who didnt want the same things I did, plus i came with a lot of baggage back then.

24) How old were you when you had your first relationship?: Depends on what you count as a relationship but I will say i was 11, or however old you are in grade 7.

25) How old were you when you lost your virginity?: I was 16 and I had absolutely no fucking idea what I was doing!

26) Last person you spoke to on the phone?: My fiancée

27) What celebrity would you most want to have dinner with?: Oh my god Bill Burr!

28) Do you have any Tattoos?: Yes on my chest.

29) What do you like to do on the weekend?: Usually spend it with lady, then work out. Sunday is for football.

30) Dodgeball or Kickball?: Hands down its Kickball! I love Kickball so much!

31) What do you prioritize more, Relationship or Career?: My relationship for sure, Family is the reason I work, I work to provide. Family is everything.

32) Band or artist that you like but none of your friends like?: Oh man that could be basically all my music for most of my friends, but even my hardcore music loving friends just can not accept that Type O Negative is an amazing band. Even if a lot of their music was super corny, Peter Steeles deep epic voice is legandary!

33) Favorite band from your Country or state?: Hmm, My favorite band from Ontario Canada would be Alexisonfire.

34) What city did you go to post secondary in?: Hamilton, The steel city!

35) Are you currently reading any books?: I got back into Classical Lit. I am currently reading 20,000 Leagues under the Sea.

36) Who is your favorite superhero?: Since I was a kid I was really into Spawn. I had a bunch of the comics and even still own a copy of issue #1

37) Favorite Color?: Depends on what its on, but either Red or Purple

38) Favorite band?: Deftones

39) Favorite book?: The Outsiders

40) Favorite TV Show?: hmm, I dont know if I have one. I loved Sons of Anarchy, I love South Park, I know I am forgetting something obvious but I just cant think right now

41) Favorite Movie?: This is a really tough one. The Departed was really great, Lords of Dogtown is another one I really like.

42) Favorite animal?: I really like Owls

43) Favorite Smell?: Campfire

44) Favorite Shoes?: I typically wear Vans, or DC. But my favorite shoes of all time are Circa AL50 (Black and White Pinstripes)

45) Favorite Season?: Autumn

46) Favorite chain restaurant?: I really like Symposium. Its a smaller chain, but its still a chain!

47) Favorite board game?: I really like board games, I really like German style board games. My favorite would likely be Stone age.

48) Favorite Holiday?: Christmas for sure. Being with family, eating food, all the preparations. I love Christmas so much. All of Yule is great but Christmas is just extra special!

49) Favorite Food?: My usual answer is Hard shell Tacos, but I also Really like sushi, and I really like pan fried salmon.

50) Favorite Sport?: Hockey is always going to be number 1, but there is nothing like sitting down and relaxing on a sunday afternoon and watching football. Also during the worst month of the year ( Febuary) the only good thing is curling season really picks up. But my answer will always be Hockey #1!

[ichigoromi]

𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩 | 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐬𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 | 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

I'm up for another Sakusa angst... Yay?

I guess, I hope you guys enjoy reading?

I'm sorry if I made you cry...

All characters are aged up!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

It has been exactly 11 months, 11 days, and 11 hours since you two have decided to end the relationship.

The break was inevitable. You were studying in the States, and he is a professional athlete who has little to no time to visit you.

No matter how much you want to fix the relationship, it was beyond repair.

You started to count the days that you two have broken up for as a way to cope, but it was unhealthy for you, mentally.

Sure, your studies were going better after the breakup, but you ended up drinking till your wasted in your tiny apartment.

Seeing how happy he was on his social media platform makes you wonder if you were the one who caused the break-up after all.

Even though you two agree mutually to the breakup, it was harder on you.

You lost so much weight, and your complexion was too pale to be considered healthy.

Roll in the best friends; they practically filled your fridge and made sure you were eating your three meals.

After you gained back to a healthy weight, they took you out for a makeover trip and got you a closet makeover as well.

You got back into your school life and leaned on your friends for support, but how could you ever forget the good memories that you made with Sakusa as well.

Your friends helped you pack any momento or gifts that he gave you into a box and send it back to him since you two have broken up and as a proper closure for you two.

But there was just one thing that you can't bear to part with, his personal hoodie that he first gave you when you two started going out in high school.

Your friends had a hard time trying to persuade you to part with it but gave in to you.

Inside the box, you included a letter address to him, your one last letter to him.

It goes likes this...

Dear Mimi or Kiyoomi,

This would probably be the last time that I address you like that. I know we have decided to end our relationship, and it's all my fault even though you said it's no one's fault. I'm going to return these because these were the gifts that you gave me. You can burn or throw them away; it's all up to you. The break-up was rough, but thanks to it, I grew a lot from it. I know you recently got a new girlfriend, good for you, you look genuinely happy with her, guess I held on to you too long? I'm sorry for breaking the promise first. I'm sorry for breaking your heart; I'm sorry that I cannot be there for you. Thank you for the wonderful memories that you left me. I never stop loving you and will always be there for you.

With love,

Your first.

You wiped away the tears and signed off and place it on top of everything, and prepared to mail it.

For the first time after your break up, you felt some kind of relief.

After you mailed it out, you and your friends went for some good old Korean barbeque and tons of alcohol.

You were so drunk that your friends carried you home, and all of them stayed in your apartment, in case something happens to you.

You posted some pictures of you having a good time with your friends and knocked out from the huge amount of drinks you had.

He thought he would live his life as normal after the breakup, but he couldn't.

Everything just was not the same. The routine that he has built around you, he has to change it.

You were not in his life anymore.

Atsumu tried to cheer him up by setting him up with some of his friends, and sure they had good personalities, but they were just not you.

After months of trying to date, he finally met the one.

He was finally able to smile and be back to the normal him.

His team was relieved that he was not in his depressed state and living well.

Atsumu and Bokuto still keep in close contact with you, following you on their social media platforms.

When they thought he was not listening, he could listen to them calling you and face timing.

Based on Atsumu and Bokuto's reaction, he can tell that you are doing good.

He knows that your graduation was in a few weeks and you would continue to further your studies there.

Bokuto and Atsumu, along with some of your high school friends, were going to fly to the States to attend your graduation.

He wants to go to, but he has a new person in his life now.

A few days later, he received a box from your address.

He went to open the box in his dorm room, and it was the gifts and the letters you two exchanged since high school.

When he read the letter that you wrote him, he broke down.

You were his first love, the very first person that he made friends with, the very first person that made his heart skip, and the very one that made him the person that he is today.

It was bad. The feelings that he thought was once gone came back again.

He never stops loving you, and he will continue to love you as long as he can.

He needed some time away from dating and some time to heal.

The last gift he could give you was something that would last till you guys meet next time.

Graduation came faster than you expected, and finally, you graduate successfully after going through all those obstacles. Your family and friends from Japan are here to celebrate this joyous event with you.

You took pictures with everyone, chatted with a few of your fellow graduates, and managed to make some new connections.

"Oh my god, why is her campus so big? Did we made it in time?"

"Of course not! What did ya think?!"

Your two favourite people are here too.

"Tsumu! Bokkun!"

You waved them over, and they were carrying a bouquet of flowers and a bunch of gifts.

They threw their arms around you and pulls you into their embrace, and it was heartwarming and suffocating. Imagine getting bear-hugged by two professional volleyball players.

"L-let me go!" You managed to squeeze out a call for help, and they immediately let you go.

"This gift, open when you are alone."

It was a small bag, but you could not help but wonder who gave you that gift.

- - -

After getting lunch with your family and friends, you went back to your apartment alone to start packing up for your new journey.

You were going to move to Korea for your Master's program. Most of your close friends knew about this and hook you up with their close contacts in Korea so that you would have some form of support in a foreign country.

While packing, you remember the gift that Bokuto and Atsumu told you to open when you are alone.

You grab it, and it was a letter and a blue velvet ring box.

Immediately you recognised the handwriting. That neat and clean handwriting would belong to none other than Sakusa himself.

Congratulations on your graduation.

I have received your mail, and there's so much that I want to say. I apologise for not making it to your graduation, but those two idiots are there to represent me. After receiving that box from you and that letter, I immediately broke up with her. I realised that my feelings for her were not genuine, and I was just using her as a rebound, and I break things off because I don't want to hurt her further.

I'll wait for you. I know this may sound far-fetched, but will you marry me?

I don't expect any replies, but please accept the ring if you agree to marry me.

If you reject me, you can return the ring to Atsumu.

I'll be waiting,

Sakusa Kiyoomi

This man...even he is at the other part of the world, he still manages to make your heart skip. You open the box and inside one of the most dazzling rings you have laid your eyes on.

And you recognise it.

It was a Harry Winston.

You used to joke to him in high school that you want it to be a Harry Winston ring when he proposed.

Now, it's not a joke. You slid the ring onto your left hand, and it fits perfectly.

You dialled the number that you know it like it's the back of your hand.

"You idiot, do you still love me after all this time? What's with the proposal? It's s-so lame." You sniffled over the phone.

"Really? Does that mean you are not taking me back? In high school, you said that you were going to kick my ass if I break up with you. You wanted a proposal with a Harry Winston, right?" Hearing his voice, you broke down.

"I-I m-missed y-you so much! Why do you still have so much effect on me? You bad man!" You wailed into the phone and hear his deep chuckles.

"Oh my, you became more of a baby after we broke up. Do you want to see me now?"

"What? You mean facetime?"

"No, come to the park near your apartment building."

You grabbed your coat and rushed out of your building. There's no way he is here. No way. How could it be...

And he was there. With his arms wide open and a small smile on his handsome face.

"H-how? I-What? You idiot!" You threw yourself into his embrace, and he wraps his arms around you, and you sobbing in his chest.

"I flew in, of course. I got the timing right." He cups your face gently to make you look up to him. Then he saw the ring on your left hand and kisses you on the lips.

You shut your eyes and savours the kiss that was needed after being apart for so long.

"Sakusa Kiyoomi, you are one crazy man." You shook your head and kiss his lips again.

"Yeah, I'm crazy for you." He kisses you again for a long time.

I can't end it with a sad ending; I'm sorry to you guys if you wanted a sad ending. I'm crazy for soft Sakusa.

I love him.

I hope you guys enjoy reading this!

Thank you for reading!

Stay safe and take care!

With love,

Rosalie🍓

[hakasims]

The Most In-depth Analysis of Luca Marinelli’s Characters You’ll Ever Need

You’d think I was done with classifications, but I’m not! There’s so much more I can say about Luca Marinelli’s oeuvre and his magnificent roster of characters. And yes, I’ve made this post before where I highlighted specific tropes that show up in a lot of his movies, but that was surface-level shit. This is an actual exploration of what makes a Luca Marinelli character besides being a kinky little whore. And don’t worry, it’s still in that user-friendly question-answer format because I love you.

Here’s the thing: Luca is a chameleon but he also has a type, and this type is:

✨ a (likely) queer repressed addict with daddy issues ✨

That’s the skeleton. Let’s see how many of his major roles possess that skeleton at all and what flavors they add to the picture.

Disclaimer: I excluded characters with little screen time and Joseph from Mary of Nazareth because he doesn’t deserve rights. Also, instead of going in the boring chronological order, I’m gonna start with the least typical character for Luca and end with the crème de la crème. The results may not surprise you.

Nicky (The Old Guard)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? No.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? I know we’re all deeply affected by our shitty father figures but I would genuinely question Nicky’s sanity if he were still on that shit at the ripe age of 951. A little tip for daddy-hating immortals out there: just do what Angel did and kill your shitty dad. Problem solved.

Is he violent? Despite doling out tons of violence, he doesn’t have a violent nature and seems uninterested in hating his enemy or delivering retribution.

Does he need a good night sleep? I’m sure nothing helps one sleep better than a Joe-shaped big spoon.

Does he need a good cry? Doesn’t seem like it.

Flavors: A perfect immortal warrior bean in a healthy relationship.

Conclusion: Ironically but unsurprisingly, Nicky is the least Luca-like character.

Guido (Tutti i santi giorni)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so but who knows? If someone told me he’s demisexual, I’d believe it.

Is he repressed? The movie may disagree, but I say yes, obviously.

Does he have an addiction? Not unless you count his romantic relationship.

Does he have daddy issues? His family is so supportive and wholesome it’s almost parodic.

Is he violent? He’s the opposite of a toxic macho dude, but then he has a violent outburst out of nowhere because the movie is bad.

Does he need a good night sleep? He doesn’t like sleeping at night.

Does he need a good cry? Naturally.

Flavors: An adorkable awkward nerd with flowery speech.

Conclusion: I can forgive straightness and wholesomeness but I can’t forgive lack of complexity.

Martin (Martin Eden)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? Yes.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? Not to my knowledge.

Is he violent? When he deems it necessary to be.

Does he need a good night sleep? Sure.

Does he need a good cry? Cry your little heart out, Martin!

Flavors: An arrogant, pretentious, politically confused writer.

Conclusion: A little too straight for your typical Luca, but he makes up for it with being complex and complicated.

Loris (Il mondo fino in fondo)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? So fucking repressed!

Does he have an addiction? Nothing beyond his savior complex.

Does he have daddy issues? He has a shitty dad he’s spent his whole life trying to please, and also his mommy left, so like yeah, obviously.

Is he violent? He has his straight dude moments.

Does he need a good night sleep? Definitely.

Does he need a good cry? Oh yeah, let him cry, it’s good for him.

Flavors: A casually homophobic mother hen.

Conclusion: Ruined by heterosexual agenda.

Lui (Ricordi?)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? Very.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? A big sack of them.

Is he violent? No.

Does he need a good night sleep? Oh yes. To sleep, perchance to dream about anything other than his traumatic memories.

Does he need a good cry? So much.

Flavors: Up-his-butt and pensive.

Conclusion: Leave it to Luca to take a guy who would be an absolute nightmare in real life and turn him into someone I actually want to watch for two hours and see happy by the end.

Gabriele (Waves)

Is he queer? There’s evidence he might be gay.

Is he repressed? I’d bet on it.

Does he have an addiction? Doesn’t seem like it.

Does he have daddy issues? Nobody knows.

Is he violent? No.

Does he need a good night sleep? He probably will with how the movie ended.

Does he need a good cry? At least one.

Flavors: A sweet introverted guy who loves boats.

Conclusion: While not particularly complex, Gabriele has layers and nuances. Also give him a big muscular daddy.

Fabrizio (Fabrizio de André - Principe libero)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? He was before music became his only career.

Does he have an addiction? Alcohol, cigarettes, sex, cheating - take your pick.

Does he have daddy issues? Not as bad as some of the other guys here but he’s heard his fair share of “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” speeches.

Is he violent? He’s soft.

Does he need a good night sleep? He’s an artist, what do you think?

Does he need a good cry? He’s an artist, what do you think?

Flavors: Fabrizio de André is the flavor.

Conclusion: Even though it’s a biopic, there are still many Luca-isms there. He’s just that kind of actor.

Milton (Una questione privata)

Is he queer? It could be argued that he is bisexual.

Is he repressed? Do you even need to ask?

Does he have an addiction? About half of the breaths he takes are filled with cigarette smoke.

Does he have daddy issues? He seems to have a good and loving relationship with both his parents.

Is he violent? Not by nature.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yep.

Does he need a good cry? He certainly does.

Flavors: A repressed bisexual feeling powerless in a horrible world.

Conclusion: This is proof that Luca can carry a whole entire movie on his sexy shoulders, alone. Also Milton needs a safe and loving triad.

Mattia (La solitudine dei numeri primi)

Is he queer? I personally read him as asexual. Though assigning asexuality to characters who are traumatized is a dangerous path so don’t quote me on this, okay?

Is he repressed? Just the most repressed.

Does he have an addiction? It’s debatable whether self-harm and eating disorders can be considered addictions, but they’re part of his character, and I thought you should know.

Does he have daddy issues? His parents played their part in messing him up which then led to the big thing that really messed him up, though other than that his dad is barely a presence.

Is he violent? Not at all.

Does he need a good night sleep? At least 17 hours.

Does he need a good cry? Oh, so much. He needs all the cry.

Flavors: A quiet genius with lots of guilt.

Conclusion: Can you believe this was his first film role? Our boy is talented af!

Fabio (Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? You could argue that he is repressed by being limited in his place in social hierarchy.

Does he have an addiction? Amazingly enough, no. He has fixations, though.

Does he have daddy issues? Thinking his father was a loser and not wanting to end up like him is textbook stuff.

Is he violent? Very.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yes please.

Does he need a good cry? He needs to purge his soul from all the bottled up stuff.

Flavors: A campy psycho.

Conclusion: Luca’s most iconic character, so of course he scored high on the list.

Paolo (Il padre d’Italia)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? I can’t even start listing all the ways in which he’s repressed.

Does he have an addiction? He smokes a lot.

Does he have daddy issues? His issues are more of a mommy variety.

Is he violent? Not in the slightest.

Does he need a good night sleep? He’s the poster boy for needing a good night sleep.

Does he need a good cry? A good cry, a good weep, a good sob, a good bawl, *googles more synonyms* a good wail, a good squall...

Flavors: A self-loathing gay orphan in need of some life goodness.

Conclusion: What can I say about Paolo that all of you aren’t already thinking? Decent film, great character, excellent portrayal.

Mickey (Die Pfeiler der Macht)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? It’s Victorian England, you guys.

Does he have an addiction? He smokes casually but other than that... eh. And don’t tell me he has sex addiction. He uses his body strategically.

Does he have daddy issues? If what he has isn’t daddy issues, I don’t know what is.

Is he violent? He’s got tons of bottled up aggression.

Does he need a good night sleep? It would be great if he could use the day’s darkest hours for sleeping.

Does he need a good cry? Undeniably.

Flavors: A conniving slut extraordinaire.

Conclusion: A major player in the book (says me who managed like 50 pages), Mickey Miranda was turned into such a nothing character in the miniseries that they needed a truly extraordinary actor to make him memorable. And guess what, Luca delivered.

Cesare (Non essere cattivo)

Is he queer? Not explicitly, but come on.

Is he repressed? Lethally.

Does he have an addiction? He’s an addiction textbook.

Does he have daddy issues? *Jake Peralta voice* Yeah, the guy without a daddy is the one with daddy issues. Explain that logic.

Is he violent? Oh yeah, he’s a rabid little trash goblin.

Does he need a good night sleep? So much.

Does he need a good cry? He’s had his fair share of good cries, but he could always use more.

Flavors: A aimless junkie.

Conclusion: The quintessential Luca. Beautiful.

Primo (Trust)

Is he queer? Listen, just because we don’t see him fuck a dude on screen it doesn’t mean he isn’t a motherfluffing queer icon. It’s not subtext; it’s TEXT.

Is he repressed? Where do I even fucking start?

Does he have an addiction? Oh yeah. And a coke nail to prove it.

Does he have daddy issues? I would need a whole separate post to unpack his daddy issues.

Is he violent? So very violent.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yes, please. On an actual bed in an actual bedroom.

Does he need a good cry? You can just tell.

Flavors: A ruthless criminal with a strong mafia boss potential.

Conclusion: The pièce de résistance of the Luca Marinelli filmography. Not only does he tick every box, he gets bonus points for the excellent wardrobe choices that emphasize Luca’s best features. Primo Nizzuto is everything great you want from Luca, except singing. (Though in my headcanon that whole white car in a snowstorm monologue was a musical number.)

[scuttling]

Interview

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 1,729 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, First meetings Summary: Aaron finally gets the greenlight to hire a new agent. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) A/N: Sophie and Reid are partners, because I love them! Link to AO3 or read below!

It takes two months for Hotch to convince Section Chief Strauss to open a requisition for a new member in the BAU. There was a lot of paperwork to be filled out, including detailed explanations as to why he felt the team needed another profiler. He thought it was obvious: for all they do work together as a cohesive unit, Morgan and Elle were technically partners, and when she left, Prentiss took her place. Reid doesn’t have a partner, which makes him feel like a third wheel, sometimes.

(He won’t admit to it, but Hotch notices things. It’s kind of his job.)

Needless to say, the position becomes available, but it takes another couple of months—and several interviews—for Hotch to find the right person to fill it.

Agent Cortes comes highly recommended by the Intelligence Section’s unit chief, someone he worked on a case with in his early days at the BAU; she is young, just 29, but she is more than qualified, and the referring agent is someone whose opinion he respects, so he’s hopeful.

Gideon sits in on the interview because he respects his opinion, too, although Hotch will make the final decision.

Cortes is Latina, petite and polite, with a firm handshake, a warm smile, and dark, striking eyes. Gideon looks at her with somewhat passive interest (something only Gideon can pull off) as they go over the highlights of her resume.

“You have bachelor's degrees in Psychology and Sociology, and master’s degrees in Behavioral Science and Criminology, all from the University of Chicago. How did you manage all of that, at your age?” Hotch asks, wondering if maybe she is gifted like Reid.

“A lot of hard work,” she replies, and it’s an answer he likes. “I graduated high school, enrolled in a dual major program and completed the bachelors’ at 22. Then I was hired onto the Chicago Police Department, and I worked there and got my Criminology degree at the same time. The Behavioral Science degree came after; I began it in person, and they let me finish online when I moved here to join the FBI.”

“What interested you about behavioral science?”

“I grew up in a city that was rich with diversity, but I still noticed that certain people were susceptible to falling into certain patterns, and became curious about why we as people do the things we do. I was already interested in criminal justice, so it seemed a natural path to take.” He nods, jots down a couple of notes before looking back up.

“Tell us about your time with the Chicago Police Department.”

“I went through training while finishing my Criminology degree, worked a beat for about six months before being assigned to the Intelligence Unit; my sergeant found value in the way I was able to get people talking, and a large part of my work was with criminal informants. I worked in Intelligence for three and a half years, and for the last two I was on the Tactical Response Team as well.”

“Tactical Response—that’s SWAT?”

“Yes, sir.”

“How did you end up in SWAT?” Gideon asks, speaking up for the first time; she looks over at him for the first time, as well. “I mean no offense, you’re clearly more than capable, you’re just… small.” She gives him a brief smile.

“Well, there was a hostage situation, the team leader determined that we could get a vantage point from an air duct... and I was the only one who fit.”

“You don’t seem resentful of that,” Hotch notices, a bit surprised. It’s not an origin sorry everyone would be proud of. Her eyes turn back to him.

“I find it’s more important what you do with your time somewhere than how you got there. I contributed to many successful responses over the course of two years that had nothing to do with my size.” It is a great answer, and he holds back a smile of his own, simply nods.

“So you left Chicago to join the bureau; did you have your sights set on any department in particular?”

“I was torn between Language Analysis and Intelligence and ended up somewhere in the middle.”

“Intelligence because of your background, why Language Analysis?” Gideon asks.

“I speak 6: English, Spanish, and Italian as my native languages, plus Russian, French, and German. I have an ear for them.”

“Impressive,” Gideon says, nodding, lips pressed together. Cortes smiles, modest.

“It’s helpful; more than 30% of the population of Chicago speaks a language other than English at home.” Hotch does crack a smile at that, because the statistic reminds him of Reid.

“How would you describe your current role with Intelligence?”

“The official title is Intelligence Liaison. I’m part of a team that travels domestically and internationally, to law enforcement or government agencies, to debrief them on threats we’ve identified, or potential threat activity, and to help them formulate offensive countermeasures.” There is a lot of experience there that would translate well to the BAU, that much is clear. If anything, she may be overqualified, but they would never turn down the help.

“What’s the most frustrating part of your job?” It’s a question he always throws in, because true frustrations—and how one handles them—can say a lot about a person.

“When they don’t listen and people die. I do my best to make sure it doesn’t happen often.” He looks up from the form to the woman, who, in that moment, shows the things she’s seen all over her face. They’re gone from one blink to the next, and he breaks eye contact to choose his next question. No follow up needed there.

“It sounds like you have experience interacting with law enforcement, which is important here at the BAU. We can’t work on a case unless we are invited by the agency with jurisdiction, so maintaining healthy relationships is vital. We have a communications liaison who deals directly with police departments, sheriff’s stations, FBI field offices, and the media, but knowing how to handle them is a big part of the job.” It’s not a question as much as a confirmation, and she nods.

“I’m confident in my ability to interact with other law enforcement in a direct but respectful way. It’s something I’ve done a lot of as Intelligence Liaison.” He has one final question, and though he’s already more than pleased with the interview, the answer will make or break his decision.

“Why the BAU?”

“Curiosity is what got me interested in behavioral science, but it’s empathy that makes me interested in the BAU. My current work helps to save lives, but it’s all very large scale, and it can be detached, cold. I can be detached and impartial when I need to be, but I can’t deny it would feel like a better use of my skill set to make a more tangible difference.” He agrees, can already tell that she would thrive in the environment of their unit, and it’s just the kind of answer he’s looking for; he takes a few more notes, glances over at Gideon for input.

“Anything else you’d like to ask?”

“I think we’ve covered it,” he says, and he stands abruptly, which makes Agent Cortes stand as well. Hotch follows suit. “Nice to meet you. He’ll be in touch,” Gideon adds, shaking her hand briefly and leaving the room. She is left looking a little lost, and Hotch steps around the desk.

“I apologize for him, he’s a little…”

“Capricious?” she offers with a smile, and he laughs lightly.

“That’s accurate, actually. Please don’t take it personally.”

“I won’t. I’ve heard a lot about him, so he kind of lives up to my expectations.” She tilts her head, looking curious. “You don’t, though. Unit Chief Roberts told me you would be stoic; I expected someone much more aloof, but you’re actually rather warm.” He is a bit surprised by her directness, even more so that she would find him... warm.

“I doubt that my colleagues would agree with your assessment,” he says, thinking of the number of less than kind words used to describe him in the past. She just smiles again.

“I guess you really do need me on your team, then.”

He finds it hard not to agree.

“There are a few more things we’ll need from you, such as a psychological evaluation, recent performance reviews, a physical. I’ll be in touch with Agent Roberts, and then you, if we determine you are the right fit. I’ll see you out,” he adds, gesturing to the door, and she follows. The team, who was not yet in the bullpen when she arrived, looks on, curious, as they head to the glass double doors.

“Thank you for the opportunity to interview. I hope to hear from you soon,” she says with another firm handshake, and he nods.

“We’ll be in touch. It’s a pleasure to have made your acquaintance.”

“Likewise, Agent Hotchner.” She gets onto the elevator, and he heads back to the bullpen, stops specifically at Reid’s desk, though everyone is nearby.

“Congratulations, Reid: you’ve officially got a partner.” Reid smiles, looking pleased.

“Who is she?”

“Special Agent Sophia Cortes. She currently works for Intelligence. Bachelors’ in Psychology and Sociology, Masters’ in Criminology and Behavioral Sciences. Fluent in six languages. Got her start at Chicago PD like you, Morgan—Intelligence there too. And SWAT.”

“SWAT?” Morgan echoes, impressed. “She’s gotta be 5’2” out of those heels.”

“She’s got glowing reviews from her superiors there, and from her unit chief: he called her resilient, determined, empathetic, a team player. She’s good at communicating with law enforcement, victims, even unsubs. The BAU is the right place for her. We’ll just be waiting on paperwork to make it official.” He crosses his arms, leans back against the filing cabinet. “I’d have introduced you, but she doesn’t know she’s being offered the job just yet.”

“She must have made quite an impression on you for you to decide on the spot,” Prentiss says, and he nods his head in agreement.

“I think she’ll fit in well. I saw a little bit of each of you in her, and she’s very…” He tries to think of one word to sum up the woman he just interviewed, and decides with a half-smile: “warm.”

[pillow-anime-talk]

older girlfriend. {pt.2}

synopsis: You as older Karasuno’s boys girlfriend.

# tags: headcanons; current relationships; older!y/n; romance; lil bit of comedy; fluff; some kisses and hugs; sometimes reader is smol or has a babyface and because of this she doesn’t seems to be on 3rd year or studies; sfw

includes: female reader ft. hisashi kinoshita, kazuhito narita, tobio kageyama, shouyou hinata, kei tsukishima & tadashi yamaguchi {hq!!}

part one {click}

— HISASHI

↘ The year of difference wasn’t a something big for you and Kinoshita. It isn’t disturb two of you.

↘ But it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you acted more like his mother than his girlfriend...

↘ I mean, whenever you went out with him you corrected his school uniform, scarf, hat or hair. You often brought him a bento or a bottle of mineral water, and you even reminded him about his tests or matches in the messages.

↘ You haven’t had a chance to meet the rest of the volleyball group yet, but if it ever did, you’d like to prepare yourself better.

↘ For example, you will make some cookies or lemons in honey to make the Karasuno team remember you well and for a long time.

↘ In sum, Hisashi was a really good boy for you and as a thank you he would always buy you your favorite flowers, chocolates, bubble tea or carry your bag/backpack from school to your house.

— KAZUHITO

↘ The relationship with Narita and being his older girlfriend is (like with Ennoshita) really tender, soft and respectful. You two aren’t rush and don’t want to rush with anything.

↘ You’re Kazu’s first girlfriend so he’s a little bit awkward... He’s like a walking, big mess who often stutters and blushes.

↘ He’s cute. The cutest.

↘ Study dates!! Lots of study dates!!!! With some snacks, fizzy drinks and then with movies or anime. 

↘ You are in the third grade plus you’re a amazing and supportive girlfriend, so you help him with many school things; you give him your old notes and notebooks and help him with upcoming tests. It’s a good time for both of you because you write your final exams!

↘ For each good answer, you give him a kiss or stroke his shaved lovely head.

↘ Bonus: You’ve already met the Karasuno volleyball squad, but you’re not close with them yet. You just spend too much time with Kazuhito, so you don’t look at the other boys...

— TOBIO

↘ Kageyama is so clumsy. MY GOD. The most clumsy person in the whole world. Poor baby.

↘ But you love him anyway. Especially when you have the opportunity to tease him. And as you’re two years older than him and in your last grade of high school, your boyfriend knows that he can’t stand up to you. A respectful kid™.

↘ That’s why you come to his training very often and cheer him on, which he makes MANY mistakes.

↘ Headcanon in headcanon: Imagine he’s giving a quick-strike to Hinata and suddenly you yell at him, ‘Come onnnn, honey! If you try hard and win, you will get as many kisses after training as your team will get points! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!’. And... the ball literally hits Sho in his face (sorry Hinata, ily).

↘ You and the rest of the Karasuno team are laughing and Tobio hides his face in his hands so that no one sees his blushes. Poor baby vol.2.

↘ But he loves you so so so so much too.

↘ Anyway. You keep your promise after training. But sometimes you double the number of kisses because you have a soft spot for this volleyball maniac.

— SHOUYOU

↘ We all knows it’s a canon that this kid would fall in love with someone older. And he would probably be the first to confess his feelings, after a very long observation and a few conversations with you about random things like food, animals, movies, school, sports and weather.

↘ At first he would be surprised that you are older than him. I mean, you’re pretty small, smaller than Hinata... So he thought you were the same age as him.

↘ Surprise, you are a year older!

↘ When you start dating, Shouyou will definitely be the one who plan most of your dates. He will also introduce you to his lovely volleyball team, coach, whole family and total stranger people, boasting that you are his beautiful, smart, tiny girlfriend. Another big #SIMP.

↘ Hinata is a really, REALLY hyped person so you will have to take care of him by bringing him healthy food and water, for example. You will also come to his matches and training, asking him to take care of himself and not hurt himself. You always worry about him...

↘ I must to say it: Thanks to you, this boy has brighted even more. He loves you very much, I can’t describe it by words.

— KEI

↘ This sarcastic, tauntsy and mean asshole was just laughing at Hinata, his height and the fact that he didn’t make a good serve. Then he also started accosting Kageyama by calling him ‘The King’. What a mf... I have NO words.

↘ You heard his voice just outside the gym entrance because the door was open. You were shocked that this cutie had such... nasty tongue. He was completely unlike that nice, sweet and respectful boy you’ve always seen on your dates. You had to do something and save the orange head and his black-haired friend from more rude words.

↘ “Tsukishima Kei.” You entered the big hall, folding your hands on your hips. “What’s that supposed to mean. How do you talk to your teammates. Well, I’m shocked.”

↘ The team thought you were his sister or cousin. What was their surprise when you walked towards the tall blonde boy, then grabbed his ear and pulled down.

↘ “Y-Y/N...”

↘ “Did Tsukki stutter...?” Hinata’s whisper echoed between the players.

↘ “I wanted to support you in today’s training, because I finished my classes earlier at the university, but you are doing something like that... I’m really disappointed, Kei. You are such a bad boy.” You said what the four-eyed blushed at. “Apologize to them.”

↘ “B-But baby...”

↘ “What the fuck.” Shaved head choked.

↘ “Tanaka watch your tongue.” Sugawara said, patting him on the back.

↘ “Kei...” You muttered impatiently, at which the boy took a deep breath.

↘ “Fine...” You literally knocked out him so he just gave up. He turned to the two first years and apologized to them as you ordered.

↘ Then you smiled gently and patted his head because he was still crouching.

↘ The unforgettable first meeting with the volleyball team is already done!

— TADASHI

↘ Literally no volleyball club member will forget the day when you for first time came for Yamaguchi.

↘ Third years been so shocked. Second years  had nosebleeds. The first years fainted and fell on the floor. Coach Ukai stopped in time and Mr. Takeda thought it was a american movie or korean drama. Two girly managers flushed so hard. What a beautiful memory.

↘ That day you were wearing black and heavy combat boots, black pants, a leather jacket and sunglasses on your nose. You were also chewing gum and you had a phone and car keys in your one free hand. All the students that you passed have stopped to look at your figure. The teachers wanted to call the police, by the way. Comedy and drama rolled into one.

↘ You entered the gym as if you were at your own apartment and quickly looked around. When everyone noticed you, only then you smile as your eyes met Tadashi. He was so sweet, so flushed. You wanted to kiss his whole, freckled face.

↘ ... And you did it after a few seconds, shocking everyone (even Tsukishima, who didn’t know that his bestie had a girlfriend four years older than him).

↘ Tanaka and Noya were literally crying against the wall while you were still kissing your sweet boy, telling him that today you’re taking him for a drive date and movie night to your apartment.

[astormyjet]

Winter of 2018 - Summer of 2021 TIME FILES WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR 20s!!!!

OH BOY. It’s been three years (or more) since I updated this. “Time is a weird soup!” to quote a fave. I guess I quit tumblr around the time there was a purge of content and creators and a smack down on a lot of the fandom communities. Tumblr has always been something of a crapshow though so I’ve been more productive with my time than I was in some ways, but I’ve also found other ways to waste my time. *cough twitter/netflix/youtube/MTGArena cough*.

General Life Achievements since 2018 -JLPT N3 GET in 2019! -Blackbelt GET in 2018! -TESOL 120 Hour and BE 50 Hour Cert from online provider GET in 2021 -STUDENT LOAN BANISHED (Thank you grandparents) -Survived Apartment flooding in early 2020. -Mystery anxiety related illness and chronic pain in my left leg from early 2020 - Present. -A mythical 6th and 7th year on the JET Programme. -Started posting on Instagram a lot more about my wanderings around Matsuyama/Uwajima. Mainly old buildings and stray cats. @astormyknight -Surviving so far in Japan with old rona-chan.

2018 was rough. I was given an additional school in the first semester (March to July) as we had someone find a better job. I enjoyed it, but it was a bit of a rough go especially when I was transferred that August after three fantastic years at Tsubaki JHS and ES and only a semester there. I legit went through the five stages of grief - which I think is another reason I stopped blogging. I was given my current base school along with four other schools. Going from 2(3) to 5 schools was a bit of an adjustment. I still feel a bit spread out.

That said, I keep running into teachers and students who were at the Tsubaki’s. The teachers shuffle around every April, so it's always a lottery with which new faces are going to be old friends (or enemies…). A couple of kids moved and transferred into my current schools from Tsubaki too. So I have one kid I can say I've been teaching for 6 out of the 7 years I've been here!

One of the kids who was in JHS 3rd grade when I first got here (in 2015!) hangs out around one of my favorite cafes, so I got chatting with him recently. He's in his second year of nursing school - his class nearly broke me in the first year, it was really a trial by fire with those kids. I was 22 then, and he’s 20 now, so it was interesting chatting to him about that first year of teaching. His younger sister was one of my favorite students too, she was in the group of kids that graduated in the March of 2018, the year group that went through Tsubaki JHS with me - they’re newly minted University students now!

This Thursday morning when I was cycling in to work, a kid who was 2nd year JHS when I left  (so 2nd or 3rd year JHS now) pulled up with their Mum in a van and got their mamachari out of the back to bike to school. The franticness of it all was hilarious. Their Mum legit sat on the horn until I pulled over. I was so happy to run into this kid, even at social distance and both of us late to work/school - because we both remembered each other and as they were going around the corners they were yelling each time they turned and humming the old elementary school directions chant and pelting me with questions about what I’ve been up to.

I've had so many students and schools now, that everything is kind of running into a blur. I remember flashes of kids faces and voices, random memories of in class or out of class shenanigans out of the blue. Also, I now, more than ever, have issues remembering kids' names, but I still know their faces (even with their masks), whose homeroom class they were in, who their friends were and which club they were in. I get random flashbacks to past conversations with them when I see them on the street or we run into each other. I feel bad because the first thing former students ask is ‘Do you remember my name?’ and I always have to be like, ‘Honestly, no, but I remember you did this on x day, x month in x classroom’.

Socially in 2018 -2019 - a few of our friends went home and things shook up a little. Our DnD group changed a bit - one of our players stepped into the role forever DM (THANK YOU RALPH). From memory the newbies were great - some of them just went home at the start of last month and it’s weird not seeing them around (JESS DO YOUR BEST!). I think we only have one or two people left from that rotation. There’s no 6th year ALTs, and only two 5th years.

Aug 2018 - Aug 2019 was the year of Hiura - my mountain school. Dang man, they were so cool. The students of the JHS and the ES combined barely hit 30, so each class was between 3-10 students depending on the grade. It was easier to get to know the kids, their abilities and their goals than it has been for me at other schools. I miss it so bad, being in nature once a week did my country-kid heart so good! The bugs! The frogs! The river! The mountain! The monkeys! The lizards! The dilapidated houses and hidden shrines!!!! The random crabs in the English room...I forgot that there was such a thing as freshwater crabs, and being right next to a river, the invasion wasn’t as out of place as I first thought...  

The area is so picturesque and calming. Every week up there was a small adventure (after getting over my motion sickness from the bus ride up). The kids were constantly pranking either myself or the main English teacher. There was always some new weird bug or lizard in a tank to be educated about. There were chickens on the way to the JHS that used to escape from their cardboard box prisons to run riot on the gardens. There were old people to freak out with my youth and foreignness! The kids also got to do a lot of extra classes, sumiyakai (making charcoal the traditional way), planting and maintaining rice paddies, setting up vegetable gardens, raising fireflies, conserving a special breed of fire lily (only found in this particular mountain valley) and another rare flower, wilderness training ect.

I wish I could have stayed there a lot longer but SOMEONE (read...the BoE) decided that schools had to be shuffled again(thank goodness the dude who has it now was able to keep it from the 2021 shuffle, he's the best fit for the school). I had so many good memories from there, I wish I had been more consistent in writing it down. I do have a bunch of photos and videos from there though, so that's nice. The only thing I don’t miss is the bus trip up and down - not only was it motion sickness, there was a healthy dose of fear each ride as the driver brought us perilously close to the edge of the mountain drop…

2019 - 2020 was interesting. With the school I got given instead of the Hirua’s I was roped into more demonstration lessons which was a lot of pressure because I was also involved quite heavily with the JHS observation and training lessons too. They were somewhat rewarding, the third graders are now super smart 5th graders, but the teachers  who need to embrace the new curriculum and ways of teaching really haven’t taken on anything from the lessons....

Outside of work as well, I was given the chance, thanks to an ALT buddy of mine, to join in with the local festival. It's been one of the biggest highlights of my time here, and I am gutted it’s been cancelled for the last two years, but I understand the reason…. I was able to travel to Okinawa too during that summer for an international Karate seminar with the Dojo I train with. I met the head of the style I currently practice and a bunch of people from around the world. I also got to see Shuri castle before it burned down. So that was a stroke of luck. One of the places I want to go when/if we get out of this pandemic is Okinawa. I want to see more of those Islands so bad. Just before the whole pandemic thing too - I managed to see the Rugby World Cup, a Canada vs NZ match, I even ran into Tana Umanga in Oita city!!!

2019 - 2020 was supposed to be my last year on JET, so I was frantically Job hunting. I went to the Career Fair in Osaka in early Feb/Late January 2020. I applied and got interviewed for a position in Sendai in early Jan 2020. In the end though - the Rona hit. We started hearing whispers of it around the end of 2019, then the cruise boats happened, and then Japan refused to cancel the Olympics...every holiday season there is a new wave of infections, my nurse friends in Tokyo are struggling....my teacher friends in more populous areas of Japan are struggling…

JET couldn't get new ALTs for 2020-2021, I took the extra year when it was eventually offered, as the one job I had managed to get a serious offer for was hesitating because with the rona setting in, things were uncertain. There was a lot of time spent adjusting to the new rules surrounding what we could do in class with the kids as well as textbook change. Schools shut on and off during the spring months. 

I also got a reminder of my mortality mid May with an unrelated illness which is still smacking me around a bit - stress/age, it does things to the human body it has no right to. It's only been in the last three months I’ve been able to exercise like I used to, I’ve put on a bunch of weight I can't shrug off (one part medication, another part diet) My relationship with food needs to change, and I really need a kitchen that allows me for more than one pan meals. I also need to figure out what to do with a left leg that is in constant pain from the knee down and a heart that misses beats when stressed out (mentally and physically…). 

My apartment also got flooded by the guy upstairs at one point, I spent most of late February/early March living in a hotel while my walls and floor got redone - I think this was one of the things that really stressed me out and kicked my anxiety right up a notch, it was right when things were getting REALLY bad with rona-chan in Hokkaido and schools were shutting down here as it was filtering into the prefecture and so Japan closed schools for the first time…

Classes in covid times have been weird. We’ve been wearing facemasks full time since the early stages of the pandemic (March 2020) - so I admit that I get a bit pissed off seeing both Americans and New Zealanders back home bitching about just having to start wearing them full time in public. I have asthma and have been suffering with the things on during the 30*C plus with high 90s humidity summers. Teachers were offered vaccines late July 2021, just days before the Olympics were open - and I finished my two shots in the middle of August. But the overall distribution and take up of the jab has been slow.  As mentioned above, we can't play a lot of the games we used to play with kids in classes anymore, and a lot of the activities outlined in the textbook curriculum need to be adjusted too, so we’ve had to be creative. We use hand sanitizer a lot more too. One of the things I miss the most though, is eating lunch with the kids.

Socially from summer 2020 - now 2021 we played a lot of DnD and board games, both online and in person when we could. There were no new ALTs again for the 2021-2022 JET year, and those of us who were in 6th year were offered a 7th. Four out of six of us took it. As a whole we’re down from a peak of 38 ALTs for Junior High and Elementary school to 22 for now. We hopefully will get a new person at the end of September, and 4 more in November. Which will bring us to 27. This has led to ANOTHER round of school shuffles.

Summer vacation has been weird the last two years. With rona-chan, we haven’t really been able to travel. All the summer festivals (all the Autumn and Winter ones too!) have been cancelled, so the changing of seasons just feels, wrong. I dunno. There is so much we all miss from pre-rona-chan, and so much that doesn’t happen that makes this just feel like one long long unending year of sadness, coldness, raininess, unbearable heat and repeat. I’m tired. Time is going so fast, but so.dang.slow.

I lost my favorite school (AGAIN GDI!!!) and gained the school I taught a semester at in 2019....I had my first day there on Wednesday. Schools actually started back on September 1st so there was some drama as the BoE didn’t communicate fast enough about our school changes. We legit got told on the 27th of August (on a Friday) our schools were changing effective September 1st, but somehow some of our schools found out on the Monday 30th August. In July we were told we would be changing schools at the end of September, so.a lot of ALTs and schools were left short changed, not having opportunities to say goodbye to co-workers or students/having their planning for the semester more or less thrown out the window too. I love my job. I really dislike the way the BoE treats us, the Japanese assistant language teachers and our schools.

The new school I have is used to having an ALT there twice a week, who plans all the lessons and executes them. I’m at three elementary schools. I'm only at each once a week, I want to plan, but being that I miss an entire lesson in between visits, it's going to be difficult to do so. Not impossible, but being that I'm already doing it for two other schools, who are at two different places in the textbook ah…….. From what I have talked to my new supervisor about though, it sounds like the teachers have taken on more of the lesson planning and I'll be able to contribute ideas when I'm there. I just want to and wish I could do more without being confused all the time. (This is all usually done in my second language too, not in English so extra levels of confusion and miscommunication abound).

 I feel like this at my JHS too a lot of the time. I want to contribute more, but even with constant communication with my main in school supervisor (who is a badass and pretty much on the same page about everything with me) I still feel about as useful as tits on a bull. Especially now that classes have been cancelled and or shortened, there's less time to do stuff. Any game or activity I plan is usually cut in favor of making up time in the textbook. When I'm in class, I'm back to being a tape recorder, the fun police and general nuisance.　

Also in the last week...my two of my schools were  shut due to students testing positive for the rona. This is the second time my schools have had a scare in the last 8 months. And by shut, I mean the students were all at home, but the teachers  all had to come into the office. Because why not I guess….. I mean,  the cases increasing is really not unexpected with the amount of people who were travelling over obon and the increase of cases due to the Olympics/Japan being slow on vaccinating/delta being the dominant strain/Japan's leaders doing relatively little except asking shops and restaurants to limit people coming in at one time and closing before 8pm. I know my schools weren't the only one shut either - but still High Schools were having their sports days this week. I kept on seeing groups of kids hanging in the park after, so that was a little bit nerve wracking.

It's just frustrating - we’ve been on half days to “minimize the risk of infection” for kids and teachers, as if only being at school from 8am through to 1pm is going to reduce the risk.  My schools have only just started testing out Microsoft teams and Zoom lesson equipment. Thankfully our school’s run in this time was contained real quick, the family was super good about informing us when they got their results back, and the fact they needed to be tested. The homeroom teacher and the students from the same class were the only ones tested, and they all came back clear, which was nice. But the information came back so SLOW. 

I’m a little irritated because I found out on Wednesday night what was going on, and even if I am vaccinated, I am super worried that I will end up being the covid monkey due to being at different schools three days out of five. I think other than being worried that I will catch it myself and get real sick, my biggest fear is that I will be protected from bad symptoms from the vaccine, but still be able to pass it onto some of my more vulnerable friends and students. The whole thing is a mess.  

Other than Covid and BoE drama, life is good. I’ve had a couple of other big changes - both fantastic and not so great, but yeah.  I have my health (and health insurance!) for now. I have a job, for now. I have a sense of existential dread for the next 12 months, but we’ll see where we end up. Life post JET is going to be way less cushy and I am TERRIFIED. I mean, I have a BA in Eng/Ling and no idea what to do with it…..because I am NOT suited for academia.

TLDR: Love my job. Don’t like the system. What is life? Future scary. 

[thirteen-jades]

I recently completed my very first D&D (technically Pathfinder) adventure of non-trivial length! It was actually a little while ago, but I was waiting for someone to draw a thing before posting that. Not sure if that’s going to happen, so I guess now’s as good a time as any!

@self-loving-vampire ran Godsmouth Heresy for a few friends/acquaintances and I, and it was a blast. In addition to the dungeon crawl that was built into the adventure, she created a whole big side dungeon that was a lot of fun to explore, filled with all sorts of unique encounters. It was an ancient prison that had been abandoned millennia ago, but whose prisoners were largely immortal or magically prevented from aging and thus had languished there to the present day. Of special note was the “main” prison room, where seven immortal prisoners were held inside small cells behind walls of force. We freed several of these, including an Azata and a hag that offered us martial assistance, a lamia matriarch that gave us information, and a vampire that we freed mostly because my character liked vampires and wanted to befriend one.

I was utterly smitten with my character by the end of it; she was a half-vampire necromancer named Pythea Nightbough that was very begrudgingly hired along with some other adventurers by an undead-hating church to kill off another necromancer that was essentially operating out of their basement. She was also an awful person, but not in the way that necromancers tend to be. Rather than edgy or brooding, she was essentially a lost sassy child that didn’t give a single fuck about anyone else in the world other than herself.

This turned out to work really well, as it allowed me a reason to work with the party (she may not care about them, but they’re the thing between her and getting mauled to death by a demon, so she needs them anyway), and also lead to some fun decision points here and there. She committed at least one deeply evil act with the specific reasoning that it would benefit her personally, and the aftermath will be somebody else’s problem. I’ve rarely played evil characters before, but I think I want to do it more often now; it’s remarkably fun to be presented with a moral dilemma and solve it by not caring about morality in the first place. And just being an ass in general is fun sometimes too, as long as it doesn’t detract from the other players enjoyment of the game, which I tried hard to prevent and was pretty successful at avoiding.

I really want to run this character again in a campaign more suited to large-scale necromancy, as even beyond evil being fun, I think she has quite a lot of potential. She grew up entirely bereft of friends or other healthy interpersonal relationships, which she handled by projecting *hard* onto the skeleton minion she started with as well as the other undead she dominated. Her starting skeleton was named Mister Rattles for the sounds his bones made, and was what remained of the most vicious of her childhood bullies.

Pythea always referred to dominating other undead as befriending them, and she did quite a lot of befriending over the course of the adventure. Most notably, the boss of the side dungeon was an allip, the specter that remains when someone commits suicide and can’t let go of the world. He emerged from the final treasure room in spectacular fashion, leading us all to panic about how we were going to fight this thing in our exhausted and battered state. I happened to get very first initiative, and tossed out a Command Undead spell on the odd chance that it’d work. One bad Will save later and I’d befriended the boss of the entire side dungeon, easily the strongest single creature we fought, and won the encounter in a single turn.

When we finally got to the end boss of the main dungeon we were powerful enough to easily wipe him, but instead of just leaping to combat the encounter took a much more interesting turn. We discovered that the necromancer was a former cleric of the church employing us who had figured out a way to reanimate corpses with alchemical methods instead of necromantic magic. He incorrectly thought the church wouldn’t be opposed to this, and was promptly excommunicated for it.

While Pythea was of course interested in his methods, he also proved a somewhat sympathetic character. He’d used his knowledge to attempt to cure a woman afflicted with a wasting disease, and though she ultimately died, she did revive as a sentient undead. The two of them quickly fell in love (maybe before she died? I don’t remember), and he continued his work in order to try and restore her body and eventually overthrow the church that he had once belonged to. Rather than killing him, we persuaded him to give up trying to destroy the church (to placate the party members who cared about things like “morals” and “ethics”), and in turn we helped smuggle him and his lover to safety.

The whole campaign wound up being remarkably wholesome in the end, too. While she started out bitter and lonely, Pythea slowly did forge several genuine friendships over the course of the campaign, and managed to maintain them even into the epilogues. While she was still an objectively terrible person, her friends were considerably better. This lead to some positive character growth, with lots of potential for more in her future. Ultimately, I’d say things ended about as well as they could have for her, which is great. She really needed it.

In addition to playing the game, I kept a journal from Pythea’s perspective, which turned out to be a really good idea. I now have a permanent record of the game, which really helps the part of my brain that’s desperately afraid of losing things, and I can share it with others, too! And it feels great to have a finished product like that, like (somewhat) tangible proof that it all happened. It’s always nice to have created something, at the end of the day. I’d like to maybe get it bound one day; I’m planning to keep journals for all my campaigns henceforth and would like to collect them somewhere as they finish.

[writing-yj]

Hello Ren! How have you been. I haven’t heard from your in awhile so I kinda got worried.

-

Ahhh I got this submission like, almost a week ago, I didn’t even see it. My notifications are weird, I gotta look into that.

Thank you for asking, dear! As for how I’ve been, I haven’t been too shabby. I have been in an amazing and very healthy relationship for 9 months now; this is someone I can see myself growing old with. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. He’s not an asshole, not any sort of “player”, my family really likes him, his family loves me and I love them too, he actually really likes my guinea pigs (I’m used to my significant others disliking them), and we’re looking at getting a place together next summer.

My guinea pigs, Ramen and Noodles, are doing great! Ramen just turned 1 and Noodles’ 2nd adoption day/birthday was yesterday. Despite Ramen being younger than Noodles, she’s almost 3 pounds. Chunkster.

College hasn’t been too awful lately, but I’m changing my major, so that’s been stressful. Luckily, I’m not too deep into a program, I was still doing gen ed classes part time, so it could be worse. Seasonal depression is slowly setting in, but this time around, I have an amazing boyfriend and fantastic irl friends to help me through it.

I feel terrible for not posting any fics or anything for ages, but it’s hard to find time to write between my job (I have a management position here now!), classes, friends, and so on. I haven’t forgotten you guys, though. I think fondly about the times when my blog was at it’s all time high. I still go through my theories as to who Bow Anon is like a maniac 😂 I wouldn’t quite call my blog abandoned, because I still have plans to return to posting on a somewhat regular basis, but I’m not sure when that will happen.

I started this blog when I was what, 17? I just turned 21 back in September. It’s been over 4 years since I appeared here. Because of this blog, I made some of the best friends I’ve ever had. You all were a huge highlight in my life and a massive part of me that I will never forget. Thanks for sticking around, kiddos 💖

[accordingtopris]

Priscilla Rubin: Character Development (3/?)

BASIC INFORMATION.

Full name: Priscilla Rubin Nickname: Pris Birthdate: April 27th, 1987 Age: 34 Zodiac: Taurus Gender: Cisgender Female Pronouns: She/Her Romantic orientation: Biromantic Sexual orientation: Bisexual Nationality: American, Permanent Residency in the United Kingdom Ethnicity: Ashkenazi Jewish, English, Dutch Ranking: Virtue/Nightclub Manager Affiliation: Pestilence

BACKGROUND.

Birthplace: Los Angeles, California Hometown: Thousand Oaks, California   Social Class: Born lower-middle class, previously lower-class until she began inroads within Pestilence. She is now considered upper-middle class Educational achievements: Graduated from her local high school in Thousand Oaks Father: Gregory Rubin (Deceased) Mother: Brandy Rubin (Deceased) Sibling(s): Penelope Rubin Pets: None   Previous relationships: In her early twenties, Priscilla had a few flings. Her most significant relationship being 2 years with Nathaniel Hendrix when she was on the cusp of becoming a Power. Arrests: Surprisingly zero arrests, despite starting her career as a drug dealer. Priscilla’s nothing if not cautious Prison time: N/A

OCCUPATION & INCOME.

Current occupation: Pestilence Virtue and Manager of Pest Nightclub  Dream occupation: She’s a practical woman - dream occupations are for chumps who listened to one too many guidance counselors Past job(s): A number of jobs (waitress, housekeeper, convenience store clerk) before joining Pestilence. Since then, she hasn’t been officially employed due to the nature of her work, until she took over the Nightclub   Spending habits: Incredibly frugal. Her sister often complains that she won’t turn the heating on in their apartment, or spring for branded cookies. Her substantial, new money wealth hasn’t changed this In debt?:  Not anymore. She has paid off her loans since her promotion to Virtue

SKILLS & ABILITIES.

Physical strength: Average Speed: Average Intelligence: Above Average Accuracy: Average Agility: Above Average Stamina: Average Teamwork: Works well with others, provided they aren’t too incompetent Talents: Resourceful, practical, and diligent. Personal talents include being a licensed yoga instructor, and surprisingly good aim with her knife Shortcomings: Judgemental, workaholic, overly-cautious Languages spoken: English Drive?: Yes Jump-start a car?: Yes Change a flat tyre?: Yes Ride a bicycle?: Yes Swim?: Yes Play an instrument?: Not really, though she’s tried to learn the piano on-and-off on account of her sister being a piano player Play chess?: No Braid hair?: Yes, her braids on her little sisters were quite legendary Tie a tie?: No   Pick a lock?: Yes Cook?: Yes, although her stern dietary habits keep it fairly simple 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE AND CHARACTERISTICS.

Faceclaim: Emmy Rossum  Eye colour: Dark brown   Hair colour: Black Hair type: Curly Glasses/contacts?: N/A Dominant hand: Right Height: 5″6 Weight: 138 Pounds Build: Lean and toned  Exercise habits: Priscilla has a very disciplined exercise regimen. She does yoga and/or hot yoga seven days a week, as well as kick-boxing training Skin tone: Fair skin Tattoos: N/A   Piercings: N/A Marks/scars: Faint scars across her body from her early days as an Angel/Power Clothing style: California Casual. Her closet is an assortment of Levi’s jeans, crop tops, combat boots, and plaid. Always errs on the side of casualness, though she approaches nights at the club like a uniform, donning bodycon dresses and high heels Jewellery: Her mother’s old wedding ring, velvet or gold chokers, and hoop earrings Allergies: N/A Diet: Very healthy, organic diet. Priscilla is that person who takes pancakes and turns it into a gluten-free, sugar-free, cauliflower base?

PSYCHOLOGY.

MBTI type: The Defender   Enneagram type: Type 6 - The Skeptic Moral Alignment: True Neutral   Temperament: Steady Element: Water Emotional stability: Generally steady, but keenly protective of order and control Introvert or Extrovert?: A mix of both. Priscilla has taken to being an extrovert, as part of her job. However, she’s happy to be by herself, or with her sister Drug use: Never touches it Alcohol use: Never had an alcoholic beverage in her life Prone to violence?: Only when provoked Prone to crying?: No, the last time she cried was when her sister nearly got caught in the crossfire Believe in love at first sight?: Only once - when her sister was first born

MANNERISMS.

Accent: West Coast, American accent with valley girl inflections she’s done her best to chomp down Hobbies: Working, yoga, and collecting crystals and incense   Habits: Meditation, minimum of eight glasses of water a day, and keeping close track of her expenses Nervous ticks: Kissing her teeth, running her fingers through her hair Drives/motivations: Providing a life for her sister, and always finding ways to improve Fears: The further she rises in Pestilence, the higher the likelihood that her sister will be used against her Sense of humour?: Crude and obnoxious Do they curse often?: Constantly. If she were on cable TV, it would be all bleeps 

FAVOURITES.

Animal: Butterflies Beverage: Espresso   Book: Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. She’s not much of a reader, but the Wynona Ryder version got her to pick it up Colour: Red   Food: She’s making the transition into a full vegan diet, and her go-to has been a California salad with avocado.   Flower: Tulips Gem: Emerlad Mode of transportation: Her motorcycle Scent: Saje Organic Oils Sport: Not much of a sports person   Weather: Very warm weather Vacation destination: California - she grew up near the coast, and misses the forgiving weather

ATTITUDES.

Greatest dream: Watching her sister achieve excellence, without ever knowing Priscilla’s struggles or sacrifices Greatest fear: Having her family caught in the crossfire of her job Most at ease when: Sitting in her office during a Saturday night at Pest  Least as ease when: Confined in one space for too long Biggest achievement: Her biggest, personal achievement would be her promotion to Virtue and receiving the keys to the Nightclub. However, it was also the day her sister gained admission into the Sorbonne Biggest regret: She would say she doesn’t regret it - but becoming a ‘mother’ to her sister at only eighteen. At 34, Priscilla has only every thought about her sister, and hasn’t experienced much of life for herself

[chyuans]

          hello , hello  !   first of all ,  i’m super excited to be here even if i’m like 10 hrs LATE  ( gmt timezone things )  i’m noe ,  a gay  they / them at the age of 19 ,  and this privileged lil disappointment of a jock boy is gonna be filling the position of kong_01 . despite the rumours ?  yuanjun’s actually not nearly as bad as some of the people he’ll be meeting here >:)  but you’ll get to know more about that below  !  if you’d like to plot just light up that HEART , or add me on disc*rd which i’ll give out in im’s , where i’m infinitely faster .  if i’m not gaming .  no tw’s under the cut  .

* backstory. > many people know of yuanjun, but few people truly know him. he's the famous kong families’ son, heir to the kong legacy, now forward position for south korea men’s national hockey team - which brought forth a ton of international fame from back home and amongst hockey lovers worldwide. while his talent is undeniable, he is long overshadowed by his families’ accomplishments, forever reminded that he’d never be the perfect son they’d hoped for, and no one ever lets him forget it.

> being the child of business tycoons who’s art business seemed to never be on the decline, tended to lend itself to an unconventional, pretty lonely childhood. 

> although jun no longer wants to dabble in the stupid shit he probably did as a teen, and escape from their home in a childish fit of rage and make the lives of the various nannies that tended to him while his parents were off being great hell, he still wonders sometimes whether this profession is what he would’ve wanted if he’d just not wanted to spite his parents. he loves hockey - that fact is undeniable. he thanks the nanny who took him there once out of necessity to stop his whining, and he fell in love with it almost instantly. but he also questions whether he gravitated to it because it was something he could throw himself into wholeheartedly to fill a void.

> he's very open to different types of people, and after being scouted at 19 and having a massive shift both in culture and identity as he then begun to travel worldwide, he’s a tiny bit more wordly now than he was back then. he's much more concerned about who you are underneath than superficial appearances, which means developing relationships are few and far between, because a lot of people do approach him because of his fame/fortune. he's unjudgemental to the point where his friends worry about his naivety and how easily he trusts people, but he's absolutely not dumb, just very well versed on telling good people from the bad.

> jun may even come across as naïve, but he's very aware of that perception is nearly important as reality. he's not extroverted in a way that demands conversation, but he knows how to talk to anyone from any background even if its just to maintain pleasantries. after competing in various competitions and versing players from canada to japan, he's become much more sharp and ambitious, a guy who very rarely lets distractions take their course. perhaps it’s with this that his family loathe his choices all the more, with his appetite, he was born with the skills required to run a business - pity he never took to anything of the creative sort.  

> working in a fast, stressful, highly coveted job such as pro-sports is a full time job and then some; jun doesn't spend much time not working on it. outside of his schedule, he likes bettering his stamina at the gym and eating healthy. he likes being surrounded by authentic people or nobody at all. he’s not one for trying new things and having new experiences due to time management, tending to stick to a schedule.

> he gets a lot of bad press though, which is beginning to weigh a little heavy on him. doubly now the murder has people talking. from being accused of performance-enhancing pills, various personality scandals, to being linked with ‘dating’ (see: ruining the image of) idols and chaebol’s alike. right now, he’s currently battling a lot of unwanted publicity because of a misunderstood interaction online against a wealthy sweetheart that went sour. 

> while jun might be generally unsympathetic and analytical when it comes to developing relationships with people that’ll last long-term, he's a bleeding heart when it comes to kids who may have experienced the same lonely upbringing as he did, without the financial gains. right now he spends sunday’s teaching a bunch of local foster home kids how to skate, and is trying to fund a couple of sports scholarships for those who show promise under a fake name, just generally being a good ‘ole guy.

> his family do not approve of his job, ofc. in fact neither of his parents have ever attended any of his matches to this day, and are only on semi-decent terms with him because jun begrudgingly is still tied by name to the business and shows his face at events for all of 30 minutes until he physically can no longer maintain pleasantries. his celebrity image perhaps is one thing they can manipulate, and even then, jun could get into scandals galore and still be doing his job. good press, bad press, it has the kong’s family name at the forefront of peoples’ minds, which always brings forth revenue.  

> pros: could be a lot worse considering his upbringing, collected, and level-headed most of the time. wicked good at sports, and keeps a cool head in a tough situation. ambitious, curious, a little reckless. eager to prove himself, rich? and very endeared to people/places he finds fascinating. which are many. knows where the good, authentic chinese cuisine is. hardworking and very interested in the idea of Progress.

> cons: the most private person alive, will not divulge any palatable information about himself or his feelings. devil's advocate always. will put himself and others at an arm’s length the second he feels (disgusted noises) e-emotions (love, namely). gets bored easily. paranoid, leads with the head more than the heart. friends > > > family. a little self-involved, never fucking sleeps - will be that neighbour you can hear padding around above your apartment at 3.05 am like it’s mid-day, aaaaand Loves Winning Above All Else

* personality & relationships.

> like many others, jun has his fair share of surface-level friends. he’s quick to be interested in people, to get to know them better, but it's difficult for him to get closer than that after a childhood of being picked up and dropped by those who looked over him - which kinda has left him with abandonment issues.

> he’s a curator of neat things that aren’t too overtly complex, and that includes friendships. so if you have something unusual about you, whether it's a talent or a way of thinking, he would be inclined to get to know you better. also, he has a lot of leverage with his job. being friends with a sports star slash million dollar trust fund baby who can get you free shit never hurts, just don’t befriend him for the perks, yanno?

> jun is very dedicated to his vision of things, and can sometimes be very obstinate in the way he a) wants them to be done b) doesn't accept other options, think steve jobs. he's very mercurial and can be nice one minute but isn't afraid to switch to hardass boss to get things done and did.  > he is insanely competitive and his strive is drawn out by always wanting to be on top. truly first child material. that's the kind of guy he is, with standards that do not reflect his passive side too well, which sometimes can get him into some “personality” scandals. he is driven, motivated, always looking for ways to be winning.

> i'm sure someone is bound to hate him, he’s probably got a few accounts online dedicated to a steady stream of shit-talking, given his cutthroat status or holding many hockey cups.

> jun doesn’t think too much about his sexuality - he'd probably best be labelled as pan, but leans towards those who identify as women? because of his current placement in a workspace, and with a cultural identity, that both don’t often lend themselves to lgbtq+ rights, i doubt he’d ever make that public.

> he works amongst some of the fittest people in the world, he knows how to appreciate beautiful bodies, but he's not about to discriminate. he's tragically a committaphobe and isn't interested in anything long-term right now, although i think it'd be funny if someone tried. he's very open for flings and one-night stands and even a friends with benefits sort of set up. 

* wc’s.  >  bring me his baby bro and sis. i command u. i have many thoughts  >  somebody who maybe gets in on his foster-kid situation? idk maybe they have a perception of jun being what he is in the articles they read of him, but they see him and are like <3_<3 he actually real Nice huh. i see this being romantic but it could bloom a really nice, wholesome friendship too. >  enemies. not gonna lie, he doesn’t vibe with rich kids w / a stick up their ass, especially since a lot of the people he works with aren’t from exorbitant families. people who loathe him for declining to take over his families’ business? like the boy can’t even name more than 3 artists off of the top of his head?   > fwb except neither of them know what “just friends” mean.  > i would love if jun had a confidante. a best friend, a partner in crime, a total bromance 'cause i can never get enough of those. whatever label you ‘wanna put on it. wiping up each other’s messes. maybe a Betrayal in the works  > again, gonna be a wc, but i would love a “rival” of jun's on a similar level (or bigger)  that’s entirely fabricated based off of trashy articles or a misunderstood interaction online. bonus points if they’re an absolute sweetheart, well loved by most people, and generally the antithesis of jun with his multiple drug/personality rumours, which in contrast, make him seem like the bad guy. 

> party buddy. this guy hasn’t touched alcohol/cigarettes/any other stimulants since he was underage and wanted to rebel. the word “relax” does not exist in his vocabulary. Help

[life-rewritten]

Flower of Evil: Loving someone who does not know what love is Episode 8

Do you love her?” Do Hae Su asks, she can see that Hyun So has changed, it seems crazy to her that he developed a new identity, talks about his daughter and his wife like they are the most precious things to him, and speaks about them with so much energy and excitement. Her brother has changed, there’s a bounce to him, a spring, a light, so it shocks her when he answers coldly “No I’ve never thought that way”

Loving Someone who does not know what love is

That’s my own narration of that scene in episode 8. You know the scene, the one where Jiwon goes to find out about her husband and realises he reunited with his sister, and that he’s not the serial killer everyone thinks he is. Only to be brought down, shattered and betrayed by one dialogue. Hyun So is asked if he loves his wife, the wife he’s been married to and is the relationship that is the envy of everyone in the show, that wife that he’s been married for over 5 years, he says he doesn’t love her. He says it with such definitiveness, and assurance that she knows he’s not lying. He says it so coldly like what they have meant nothing. And she goes with it. Jiwon decides that he’s been using her from the first time he gave into her; he’s been using her for his own gain and to not get caught by the police...

Except this doesn’t add up to an audience who has just seen the whole truth about Hyun So, we’ve experienced with him his actual crisis; 

His self hate for his disorder which causes people to pull away from him. 

 the abuse and trials he went through because of his disorder.

 And we know he’s not a cold-blooded killer. 

So what gives? Does he really think he doesn’t love his wife? Does he not love her? Really? What? How!!!

 It was a painful moment in the show and the audience is forced to come up with answers to deal with the pain.

 He doesn’t know he loves her because he can’t feel emotions  because of trauma formed from abuse in his past and betrayals from people.

 He does know he doesn’t love her and is using her for logical means; most likely to make his father stop haunting him, and to protect his identity being her husband. 

He doesn’t know he loves her because he really can’t fall in love because of his ‘ASPD’/disorder which makes him unable to feel emotions.

The whole question is based again on understanding more about the perceived antisocial personality disorder that we the audience have been told/shown Do Hyun So has. And it brings the question in Jiwon’s head when she hears it; 

Can Sociopath’s fall in love? 

Can they be attached and obsessed with someone instead? 

Can they act like they are in love forever as long as it fulfils their ambitions? 

Will our ship/couple get the happy ending they deserve choosing to fight with each other against the world no matter what? 

Or are we doomed to see them separate amicably? 

It’s a lot of questions all surrounding ASPD, and just like Jiwon, we’re left feeling stressed and determined to get to the end to see where the show wants to go. 

But I’m someone who needs evidence, I’m someone who doesn’t take things face value. The subtext, evidence, actions we’ve been shown in the show is already showing that there’s a misdirection, misunderstanding and miscommunication somewhere. One of the parts aren’t fitting together. 

And the answers lie on  Hyun So’s perspective on relationships and feelings of love. Think about it from episode 1 to 8 we’ve watched these two’s involvement, we’ve seen how they began, their marriage with a  daughter and now their current downfall. There is no way on earth that there isn’t some kind of love/want/obsession here. So I’m going to break it down using what’s been given so far to explore these options

Can Hyun So fall in love?

Disorders and Nature

We’ve been told and shown that Hyun So was diagnosed with Anti Social Personality Disorder  at a very young age even though there was not enough information for it at that time. We’ve been told (remember been told not shown) that he’s prone to anger, hurting animals, and lacking empathy and sympathy for situations and people. This means that he is unable to feel the emotions of love because love requires empathy and compassion. 

We are then shown how Hyun So interacts with people so far, this is narrated by Moojin in episode 8, he confirms that Hyun So has been selfish, and doesn’t communicate properly with people, isn’t helpful when someone is going through a crisis and makes situations worse because he says things he’s not meant to. He doesn’t care who he hurts with his words or actions. 

We are also shown Hyun So’s own point of view of this question when he rejects Jiwon at first. He tells her he has issues understanding and being friendly to people, he doesn’t understand emotions, and he struggles to emote feelings because he enjoys beating people up. He warns her that he won’t be able to love her accurately the way she wants. And she tells him it’s okay she’ll help him learn to love. She should have remembered this conversation when she heard he doesn’t love her. (If he was going to lie to her and pretend he loves her he wouldn’t have tried so hard to stop her from being with him at the beginning). We also see that after he says he doesn’t love her, he admits that he doesn’t know what that feeling is, so he can’t say he does. So, for now, he thinks he doesn’t. Let’s look away from his disorder for a bit and focus on the second thing stopping him from being able to love. 

Trauma and Grooming

There’s a saying about murderer’s and people who seem of; were they born with it or made to become it? Was it nature vs nurture? Nature so far is connected with his inability to love because of his ‘ASPD’. Nurture is to do with the environment around him. Hyun So’s father, first of all, is shown to be intrigued by violence, murder and seems manipulative and calculating. He’s also the notorious serial killer Do Min Seok, who killed many victims continuously before he was caught. This environment already suggests grooming of his son and trauma, causing Hyun So to not want to love someone. The basement Jiwon takes Hyun So in episode 7 is where the killings apparently happen, Hyun So is triggered by whatever memories he has there, and Jiwon can see he’s traumatised by his past. 

Evidence of grooming is also shown in episode 5 and 8;

 His father coerces Hyun So to kill the person he has managed to fight (the guy who stole his money), and Hyun so fights with himself to not do so. 

Next, his father in another flashback gave Hyun So the animals he was said to hurt and told him to do anything with it. Hinting that he was okay with Hyun So’s ASPD and wanted him to continue being more cold and unfeeling and hurtful to life. This again suggests that Hyun So’s stunted growth of feelings and emotions was embedded in him by grooming of his father so he could one day become like him, and kill people. This suggests again that Hyun So is right, he has not had the opportunity to know what romantic love is because the love he was taught and received was colder and more manipulative and hurtful. 

We also have his sister (who is the antithesis of his father) she is the person who has been by his side and sees him for who he is, she’s defensive and protective of him. Still, she also encourages stunted growth as shown in the flashback when she tells Hyun So to never fight or say no to his father. She tells him to do what the father tells him to do and not argue. This relationship is the only thing that shows proof that he might have received some kind of love, but this love is not still the same as romantic love. 

For Trauma:

There’s also the mystery and trauma of his cassette player, a woman is singing a lullaby, and it triggers Hyun So whenever someone tries to take it from him or listen to it. He sees it like his precious object, and he likes listening to it. He’s fiercely protective and will hurt whoever tries to take it away. We can guess that this is his mother or a woman who is important to him. This woman’s humming seems gentle and full of love and because it seems that he’s fiercely protective of this is because the woman is no longer near him, it suggests death and loss, and again shows the failure of the people who could have helped Hyun So feel love. 

The people in his village/town are also connected to the lack of respect around Hyun So, they violently abuse him for his disorder, called him names and feared him. He couldn’t trust friends as they betrayed him, and used him to steal money, or whatever they wanted. And the only romantic love he was exposed to his sister and her boyfriend Moojin became laughable because Moojin became cruel once he found out who the father really was, calling her names and breaking up with her.

 The environment he was groomed in continued to support the stunted growth of feelings and emotions and prevented him from knowing what real romantic love is. So yes, he doesn’t know what love is. 

So far the answer to this question taking account all of this is that no, Hyun So cannot fall in love because he was born with the ability not to love and was forced to be in an environment when love was not supported/trusted. Love was hurtful. This then brings the question: With Jiwon, can he get attached to her romantically?

Can Hyun So feel attached to Jiwon instead? 

Obsession and Attachment

Whenever I researched about ASPD and sociopathy, especially with the question, can they fall in love? I’m always told that they can not fall in love, but they can be attached because of obsession and addiction. 

I’ve seen an example of this idea in the show Psycho but it’s okay where we were led to believe that the main character with ASPD Moon Young was actually just obsessed with Gang Tae at first, This is before we learnt that she doesn’t have ASPD but was groomed to have it by her mother with the disorder and she can feel love and emotions. The idea of obsession with someone and addiction comes off as toxic co-dependency. It’s not a healthy relationship when one clings to someone obsessively normally. 

So what could be the clues that instead of loving Jiwon, he’s become obsessed with her and can’t let her go?

 Well, when they first meet, he realises that Jiwon makes his dad go away each time he kisses her. Being with her prevents him from feeling trauma and fear from the memories of his father. Being with her removes the haunting and visions(This is similar to Psycho, but it’s okay as well). Thus like Moon Young, he could become obsessed with Jiwon, needing her by his side because she helps fulfil that one needs to stop seeing his father. 

We  then know that if there is something he really wants as he finally admits in episode 8, it’s to keep living on as Baek Hee Sung. This could be because he just wants to not be captured by the police and arrested for his past, or does not want to go through what he went through in his past. He is comfortable the way he is. In order to continue living as Hee Sung, he told his adoptive parents that he’s using Jiwon to keep on living that identity. He also now is attached to her because she is the key to staying Baek Hee Sung. 

Logically he needs her to continue being his wife so that: 

 People don’t ask questions

 He can be safe from the police and know intel (she’s a detective)

 He needs to pretend to love her to make sure his goal is accomplished, to stay Baek Hee Sung. He mentions to his adoptive parents in episode 1 that he’s married to her because she sees what she wants to see, so he can easily manipulate and give her what she wants to see and stay safe. Her gullibility (though we know he doesn’t think she’s gullible) and her love for him could be manipulated in many ways to keeping his goals. 

Once we look at this option we can say Hyun So is right he doesn’t love Jiwon, but he is attached to her because she makes life easy for him. He’s only acting to be in love her because he’s researched how to do so, and it’s not automatic or real. This also answers the third question as long as she’s useful to him, he’ll keep pretending to love her but once she’s not, he can discard away everything because she’s not essential to him.

 However, I feel like this is where this all falls apart, and that’s their very first interactions. Hyun So shows that these three questions don’t apply to him by one act. He stayed outside to protect her in the night and ensure her store doesn’t get robbed. That one action disproves all of the queries. 

Does Hyun So love Jiwon?

Proof and Subtext

It disproves that his ASPD prevents him from feeling emotions or worry. Because he didn’t have to care about her store, or about her feeling safe. He didn’t have to wait there because he did not need to protect her. He automatically listens to her worries and goes out and helps her (he doesn’t know however that she will know of this moment and fall for him from then on) This one action shows that he’s capable of listening and caring without knowing that he is caring. This one action is also the catalyst for her feelings for him and makes sure she continues to try and make him let her love him. If his ASPD was meant to prevent him from caring, he would have left after she told him about the robbery, he would have not stayed to watch over her until the lights come back up in the cold, and he would have been crueller to her when she continued to pester her. 

It disproves him using her because she makes his dad disappear. He didn’t know by then she causes his dad to leave, he only realises it after he kisses her. His actions there was just because he wanted to protect her. 

It disproves him using her because she helps him keep the identity Baek Hee Sung, it’s repeated a lot in the show that the unparents did not want him and Jiwon to marry, he did it because he wanted to, he fought them on it and wanted her by his side, they actually thought she would end his secret identity because she’s a risk and a detective. They believe she’ll be his downfall of their plans. He’s the one who fights for her to be by his side; this could be because she makes his father disappear. But there’s a hint there that subconsciously he’s already connected to her and he does care about her. 

This action disproves him only helping or protecting Jiwon because she’s useful, to manipulate her or she maintains his goals because she wasn’t relevant yet at this time. He just did it to protect her. There’s other instances that show he’s capable of feeling and caring about people and loving someone. But this one action shows that Jiwon was someone he had cared initially for before everything else before he knew she would fall for him the way she did. I also think him warning her not to choose him was also a sign that he cares about her and isn’t with her because he’s coldblooded and she fulfils his goals and there’s the scene in episode 4 where he uses his body to shield her from getting hurt as they are fighting in the dark.

Logic vs Feelings

So with all this analysis, my answer is clear, one he doesn’t know what love is because of his circumstances and because of that he does not know if what he’s doing is love or not and that’s why he can’t say he loves her for sure. However, his actions and automatic choices, his panic attacks at the thought of her leaving or discovering who he is, show that there is love there he just doesn’t know he feels it. There is attachment there, and it’s not for only harmful purposes, but it also is a feeling of emotion connected to her. He also is fiercely protective and caring of Jiwon, and he regrets always hurting her. He begs her (not knowing it’s her) that he won’t be Do Hyun So again because he saw her panic in the pool trying to save his life. He may not understand it, but seeing her that way affected him and made him more desperate to keep the secret away from her, he doesn’t like seeing her hurt. That’s why he says he regrets ever meeting her because he feels sorry for her loving him. There’s a hint of emotion, care and worry tinged in melancholy at the fact that being with her hurts her.  Also really focus on the dialogue “I’ve never thought that way” this is all to do with his thoughts not his feelings, he’s probably felt that way but he didn’t realise it, he didn’t know it was love so there’s no way he can think that it is.  

I believe sociopaths can love and fall in love, and I think Hyun So loves his wife just as much as she loves him. He just doesn’t understand the intricacies of the relationship, and he’s never experienced romantic love before. His answer is no because it’s a logical response, it’s the answer that’s, on the one hand, the most accurate. He does not love her because he doesn’t know what love is. It’s not a lie. He answered it truthfully even though it ended up hurting Jiwon who only follows logic and evidence. The evidence was him saying it as a matter of fact, even if his actions show otherwise. 

[paulmgreen]

How Do Athletes Re-adjust Once They Retire?

To become a successful athlete, younger players train extensively from a young age. Often, you will hear the interviews of elite athletes who sacrifice their personal lives to fulfil their glorious dream. They spend huge finances, move away from family and friends to undergo extensive training. Hence, many of them do not even like to think about retirement in great detail.

However, it is a fact that whether they are Olympic medalist or runner ups, the end of a sports career is inevitable. Some may have to retire because of age, while others may retire due to tiredness and injury.

 But the question is, what mostly happens when they retire from the days of rigorous training? How do they deal with the void of time which they used to travel? What happens when they do not have to further compete with the adrenaline rush?

 Veteran athletes are predominantly vulnerable to depression. The 2015 study showing 224 retired athletes of Australia finds that every one out of four athletes was battling with depression. The end of a sports career becomes a struggle for them. They find it challenging to adapt to regular life without the limelight, competition and audience.

 The termination of a sports career provokes dramatic changes in occupational, personal and social lives. Furthermore, these changes can negatively impact cognition and behaviour aspects.

 What is the role of a Sports Psychologist?

Sports psychologists not only give support to athletes to improve their performance when they are competing against their opponents. A sports psychologist also gives support to athletes when they retire from the sports world.

 Tracey Veivers is a well-known sports consultant who has worked for several decades in sports psychology to help them fulfil goals. Her sports psychology consultant brand is also helping the athletes and veterans to stabilise mental health.

 How Do They Help You?

 There are numerous ways in which you can reduce your depression after retiring from the sports world. A sports psychologist helps you guide after retirement from the sports world in the right direction.

 ·         Enhance Self-identity

 Lower your exclusive Sporting Role and Promote your Self-identity. Expanding your self-identity ensures you discover a whole new world.

 ·         Find Interest beyond Sports

 Find out your interests in different activities and dreams other than sports. Pursuing something different or finding a new hobby can help you find peace after retirement.

 ·         Teach Management Skills

Educate you in developing stress and time management skills. These skills will encourage you in reconciling better with sports and other roles.

 ·         Make bonds Stronger

 Sports psychologists help you strengthen relationships with your family, friends, coaches and managers. Just like your sporting achievements, they care about your personal growth. With their support, you will be able to diversify your mind and achieve solace.

The general belief of athletes being mentally strong, healthy and happy is quite stereotypical. This attitude often makes it harder for them to approach someone to help.

Apart from these, there are some programs that aim to provide support to the athletes for transitioning after retirement. The main aim is to help athletes develop other domains instead of focusing on their sports identity.

 So, if you want to make your transition process smooth, visit

https://www.performanceperspectives.com.au/

 and consult with experienced psychologists

[parvuls]

19/54 :)

19 - summer camp / 54 - secret relationship

now. the first thing that came to mind is camp sweetgum. so i’m gonna leave this here in case it strikes your fancy and also because it’s great.

but i’m a sucker for extensive worldbuilding, so let’s settle in for the long haul, kay? this is 1.7k of plot outlining. you can see why it takes me four months to write fics.

eric bittle. age 15. moved to madison for high school, quit figure skating, joined a no contact hockey team. coach is happier but not happy, so he suggests an idea: hockey summer camp. yes contact. it’s in minnesota (coach’s not thrilled about the yankees, but there are no hockey camps anywhere south; he checked), and it’ll give junior an opportunity to meet some kids with similar interests. athletic interests, that is. and there’s still a lake and extracurricular activities, “so it’s just like the camp up by lake oconee, y’know? where the kids braid friendship bracelets and whatnot. except with sports.”

eric is... less enthused. but it’s not actually a suggestion so much as a decision and coach just moved across the state for him because he managed to get himself stuck in a closet overnight (eric’s mindset, at this age, is perhaps not the most healthy), so he says yes.

jack zimmermann. age 20. assistant coached a peewee team for the year and is not ready to spend a third summer in his parents’ house in montréal when all his former teammates from the q are returning home during off-season. his boss tells him about this summer camp in minnesota that’s looking for experienced counselors -- “it’s not a prospect camp, mostly for fun, so the boys there aren’t headed for the league. you should go. talk to some kids above the age of ten.”

jack’s pretty okay with never talking to anyone over ten again, but he’s got no other options and bob starts mentioning going to bonding fishing trips just the two of them, so he send an application.

um. he’s jack zimmermann. he was supposed to go first in the draft. the guy in charge of hiring for the summer probably rubbed his eyes in shock when he saw the email and headed straight to bed because he thought he was delusional from lack of sleep. jack gets the job.

so, like. listen. samwell men’s hockey team? they’re not your usual hockey playing dude bros. eric gets to camp that july and he’s still all long dancer’s muscles from regionals and even lighter weight from usual because he was on a strict diet and he’s got a southern accent and narrow shoulders and he doesn’t like when you slap him on the back. he’s not a hit with the local boys. but you know who does like him immediately? adam birkholtz, who’s off the ushl for the summer and wanted to play some fun hockey and get paid doing it. is it legal? who fucking cares, man.

does eric like adam? uhh. adam is 6′4 and touchy feely and eric’s got undiagnosed ptsd, so. no. but it works out after a while, because adam is relentless and also cannot stand most of the other counselors, and this tiny kid is great.

you can see how it goes: jack does not. get. bittle. it should be mentioned that jack also does not get adam, and adam does not especially like jack, so they stay out of each other’s way, but bittle is in jack’s morning slot. he skates like he was born doing it but every time one of the other players so much as looks in his direction he freezes like a deer. now, this isn’t the ncaa, jack’s got nothing to lose if this kid sucks in hockey, but he also doesn’t make friends and he’s got nothing to do with his day except read (he reads. a lot). and he likes challenges. so he starts paying attention.

the first time he asks eric to stay after morning slot’s over, eric looks so terrified jack’s usual awkward conversation skills reduce him to single-word grunting. but he gets the point across: they’re gonna practice yes-contact. for reasons. eric’s all like, “oh -- oh, no, it’s okay! i’m in a no contact co-ed team, it’s fine, this is a summer thing, really, sir, no need --” and jack’s like, did this kid just call me sir, i am twenty, but is also too awkward to take it back. he’s invested now. they’re gonna practice.

and practice they do. it goes badly before it even remotely starts getting better. eric looks like he’s gonna start crying every time and jack does. not. get him (!!!) but eventually adam finds out and talks to eric about it and encourages him (very, very gently, god, this kid is the shit but he’s definitely got some issues 19-years-old-adam is not equipped to handle) to give it a shot.

and then it does get better. jack likes having a purpose, guiding someone through an improvement process (jack’s therapist, wisely, does not tell him that this is the best thing he could’ve done for himself, because jack is... not there yet). eric (very, very slowly, god, he also should start seeing a therapist) stops fearing every jock who gets near him with the combined effort of adam’s incessant friendly advances and jack’s daily practices, and can even take some checks. gentle ones. but it’s something.

and then summer’s over. eric and adam trade numbers. eric and jack… do not, but jack probably says something like, “eat more protein, bittle,” and eric’s not even that offended, so it’s fine.

guess what? he goes back the next summer. coach is over the moon (he expresses this in a twist of the mustache and a firm shoulder clap). adam is also back, talks a lot about quitting the ushl after his next season and maybe going to college somewhere. jack is back because… uh, well, no one’s really sure why jack is back. he’s going to samwell in early august, right after camp ends. jack tells himself he’s easing himself back into hockey in a low-pressure environment and totally isn’t looking forward to seeing what a year has done to eric bittle.

which is, physically speaking, not a lot, honestly. eric’s firmer now, a lot more thigh and bicep muscles, but still narrow. it’s not collegiate hockey, it’s a high school team, alright? gosh. but he’s less jumpy and smiles at jack when their eyes meet and he’s babbling with adam a lot more than he did last year (they texted all year long, and it was nice having a friend, even if it was long distance), so it’s cool. jack makes him do morning practices again and he flinches less and less. they’re like. friends. maybe. jack hasn’t had any friends in three years and the last one was parse, so he’s a little rusty. it’s not a very traditional friendship.

they part ways again in august, and eric wishes jack good luck in school. jack sticks his hands in his pockets to avoid fiddling with his hat and has no idea how one says goodbye, and like, he’s not gonna keep in touch with this sixteen year old kid in his freshman year of college, okay? so. so. but he’s gonna like -- uh -- miss him. maybe. sorta. don’t tell anyone.

eric hugs him goodbye. jack doesn’t even take both hands out of his pockets to hug back, he’s so shocked.

the year after that, none of them come back. jack’s in college, he just got the c. adam’s getting ready for his freshman year. eric’s over the age limit for camp. it just doesn’t happen.

but the year after that, he gets a hockey scholarship for samwell. and it’s yes contact. and he hasn’t been checked in two years, and last time it was in a controlled environment near a minnesota lake, and he’s scared. and the guy from camp (the one who woke up that morning two years before and realized jack zimmermann indeed wanted to work at their camp) offers him a summer job, counseling skating lessons. and he says yes. for money, and to be ready for a season of real hockey.

also that year, jack’s had a bad season. parse won the cup, and smh didn’t even make it to the frozen four, and he feels shitty about everything. and coaching always made him feel better. so he goes back to camp, for one summer.

let’s set the scene: eric. age 18. taller, stronger, determined. in need of a haircut, but in possession of very short shorts. is headed to a liberal school and finally knows he’s gay and refuses to care about what the other boys think (camp has done wonders for his early mindset development; canon bitty, probably, was not as confident at this point). he’s a counselor now, fellas!

jack. age 23. not taller, yes stronger, has been friends with shitty knight for a year and knows a little more about human interaction (truly a little, but still). is looking to relax for the summer before kicking ass next season (and attracting scouts and joining the nhl and winning three cups before 30 and proving everyone wrong, but. first, relaxing and playing some hockey. jack zimmermann’s version of relaxing is different than other people’s).

they’re sharing a cabin in the counselors area. there are two beds, obviously, this is not that trope, and it’s not even bunk beds, but: they were cabinmates. oh my god, they were cabinmates.

the plot, obviously, follows as one would expect. eric is definitely not a kid anymore, is all tanned skin and strong calves and short shorts, and jack is only human. jack is all firm chest and pale eyes and hideous yellow shoes, and eric is disgusted, but is also only human. and jack is on summer break, and eric is not out yet, and so when they drink some beers one night and make bad attempts at actually braiding some friendship bracelets and jack’s tongue pokes out in concentration and eric bursts out laughing, jack has to kiss him. right? right. It’s not like eric would tell anyone. see closeted reasoning above.

what’s the catch? oh, no, they don’t get caught. they share a cabin! everything’s going swell. it’s just -- jack came there to avoid thinking about his bad season. eric came there to avoid thinking about his upcoming year of collegiate hockey. so… neither of them mentions… captaining the samwell hockey team. or. heading for the samwell hockey team. they talk about literally everything else (country music; undeveloped political opinions; daddy issues; the tv show arthur; american vs. canadian thanksgiving; one very late night conversation about homophobia in pro sports), but not about college. so neither of them knows.

oops?

[uzumaki-rebellion]

“Stark’s New Intern” Chp. 15

Summary: Erik is a little weary...

Mature Audience. NSFW. Smut.

"Can't get you off my mind You're like my favorite song Just want to turn you on And work you all night long 'cause I (oh I) I just want to be your man (I just want to be your man) All around the world This goes out to girls all around the world…"

Lloyd—"Girls Around the World"

"What's going on with you? You looked frazzled, Stevens."

Tony watched Erik lumber into the conference room carrying a stack of folders. He walked around the oval conference table arranging the folders for an afternoon meeting as Tony wrapped up his morning conference with his marketing team. Erik's lackluster energy was too obvious despite the two cups of espresso he downed at the coffee shop before coming to work.

"Just tired. Been doing some all-nighters for Janine and Manuj."

It was the partial truth. He had been doing some extra work for his project manager and her right-hand man, but the truth was, he was physically worn out.

From sex.

A lot of sex.

A lot of sex with Giselle and Athena.

He did his best to alternate his fun time with them, but as healthy and seemingly replenishable his body was at his age, a young playa couldn't keep up with the demands. He was fucking both women at least twice a day. Athena in the mornings before going to work, and Giselle in the evenings when he returned to the Oakwood at night. On weekends it could be more depending on where he was on his time off while alternating between the two women. The constant dick appointments were wearing a young nigga thin. He wasn't getting enough sleep. He now found himself avoiding the women for the past three days just to get a break. He didn't want to say no to either of them because he didn't want to cut off the relationships. He literally had two fuck buddies and also Janine his immediate boss to juggle for work and there were only a few weeks left in the internship. As his father used to say to Erik when he was a child, Bast be a rock.

The women themselves knew full well that he was messing around with them both at the same time, and there was an unwritten rule that neither of them would make a big deal about it as long as there was no overlap. Erik kept the trysts discreet, but sometimes there was tension when they all had to be in the same space for intern meetings and social gatherings conducted by Tony. During those times, Erik made himself scarce, hanging near Curtis or Maria, and often times using Valentina as a buffer since neither of the women liked her too much.

His mind was really stressing now because Tony was planning a yacht party off the coast of Malibu and all the interns were invited to celebrate the ending of the internship. That meant close contact with both women at the same time. Yikes.

"Stevens, look at me."

Erik stopped in front of Tony. The man poured Erik a glass off water from the reception table and Erik drank it down.

"You're dehydrated…I see bags under your eyes…what's going on? Janine working you too hard? Too many projects?"

"Nah…I'm good. For reals—"

"You don't look good."

Tony poured more water into his glass and Erik took his time drinking. The water eased the throbbing in his right temple. Shit, he really was dehydrated.

"Take better care of yourself."

"I will."

Erik reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to Tony.

"What's this?"

Tony glanced at the list of numbers.

"Bank accounts. My player's fee, remember?"

Tony had finally gotten around to offering compensation for his prowess in Poker. The man's face gave him a smirk.

"I'll have your fee deposited by the end of the day."

"Lotta zeroes, bruh, spread evenly" Erik encouraged with a smirk of his own.

Tony glanced at his watch then shoved the paper into his shirt pocket.

"The next team is ready for you, Mr. Stark."

Devika held open the conference room door.

"Do you want me to stick around?" Erik asked.

"Yeah, you can fill in for Bryan. He's out for the rest of the day. Do me a favor can you go up and bring me my touchpad and the Robbins folder from my office desk? Devika can get it for you."

A new department swept in past Devika, and Erik followed her out toward the bank of elevators on the fifth floor. Erik glanced at Devika's clothes. She dressed spiffily every day, but today the drip was real, and Erik's eyes glossed over her naked legs in her teal mini-skirt and matching mini-blazer. Devika was fine, but far away fine...untouchable fine…not interested in any game Erik tried to spit but nice about it fine. He used to compliment her all the time about her sartorial choices when he flirted with her his first two weeks at the internship, but she looked at him like he was corny, so he kept his mouth shut. But he was always looking at her. She seemed to like it.

He appreciated the working relationship he had with her. She was always looking out for him, making sure he ate during the day and forcing him to leave the building when he lost track of time on the job.

"Are you losing weight?" she asked as they walked together.

"Maybe, haven't been eating a whole lot lately."

"You look thinner in the face. I'll order you a couple of burgers for lunch."

"You always take care of me."

"Because you don't. I like you heavier, not thinner—"

"Oh, so you admit you like me?"

"You are the worst flirt, you know that, right?"

"Flirting? Moi?"

Her eyes danced across his face and he gave her some dimples. She rolled her eyes.

"Ah damn," he sighed looking past Devika's face.

Giselle.

Heading his way.

He swiped his intern card on the elevator scanner for the executive suites and thank God they opened immediately.

"Erik!"

Giselle moved faster to get to him but the doors swept closed with an easy hum and Erik leaned against the bronze elevator wall as if to make himself invisible. Devika just gave him a strange look and when they reached Tony's floor, he breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't deal with Giselle at the moment.

Devika gave Erik access to Tony's inner office to get his touchpad and paperwork.

"I'll text you to pick up your lunch. Don't ignore it," Devika said as he headed out.

Mind occupied, Erik rounded a corner to sneak a quick chat with Curtis to ask about playing a pick-up game at the Oakwood after work, and he spotted Athena rounding another corner. He pretended not to see her even though she saw him and he hoofed it back to the elevators.

A group of people waited for rides back down, and there was no way he could wait, so Erik made a mad dash back to Tony's office.

"You forget something?" Devika asked when he swept in.

Erik grabbed for the knob of Tony's inner office door, but it was locked.

"What are you doing?"

Erik's eyes darted around, nowhere to hide…except…

He scrambled across Devika's legs as she sat in her chair and dove under her desk clutching Tony's touchpad and folder.

"Erik-?"

"Shh, you didn't see me!"

Hunched under the desk, Erik heard Athena walk in. Devika blocked his body with her legs.

"Hi Devika, is Erik in here?"

Erik tapped Devika's leg.

"Uh, no, he was here a few minutes ago. He picked up some stuff for Mr. Stark. He should be heading down to the main conference room."

"Okay. Thanks—"

"Did you need something from him?"

Erik's eyes pleaded with Devika to shut up. He could see her face from under her large heavy desk. He was lucky she didn't have the chrome and glass furniture like Tony's office.

"Nothing in particular. Just wanted to chat with him. Haven't seen him in a couple of days."

"I'll let him know you were looking for him if he comes back up."

"Thanks."

Erik closed his eyes with relief.

Devika stared down at him.

"What was all that about?"

"You don't want to know."

"You are as bad as Tony."

She reached down to help him out, but when he gripped her hand, she shoved him back down. Erik reached for her legs to keep his balance and held onto her thighs.

"Is Erik here?"

Fuck.

Giselle.

"No."

"I saw him with you, so I thought he came up here."

"Should be back down with Mr. Stark. Afternoon meeting."

"Huh…I thought he would be with his project manager."

"Not today."

"Okay, thanks."

"I'll let him know you were looking for him. He seems to be very popular today. Athena was looking for him just a second ago."

Erik's face grew tight.

"I guess he is," Giselle said.

Erik waited with bated breath, his fingers clutching Devika's thighs.

His eyes dropped down to look at his hands and he could see her legs were parted wide enough where he could see under her short skirt.

His lips curled up when he saw she had on a blue thong and it could barely cover her vulva. Part of it was wedged in her folds. Erik clutched her thighs a little harder to keep his bearings.

"Bye," Devika said.

As exhausted as he was with Giselle and Athena, there was no pussy like new pussy and Erik could not stop himself from staring. Devika had a nice fat vulva. He wanted to put his mouth on it.

"Erik?"

Her voice made him raise his eyes up. His lips parted and his fingers slid down from her naked thighs to her knees, He widened them. She pushed against him but he was stronger. She tried pulling down her skirt, but there was nothing she could pull down.

"You can come out now," she whispered.

His eyes drifted back to looking between her legs. Her buttery brown thighs looked soft and he wanted to push them back so bad.

"Erik."

She must've seen the growing lust in his eyes because her own stare took on a whole different look.

His index fingers rubbed gentle circles on her knees and he slid his hands back up her outer thighs. She didn't try to close her legs at all. He dragged his eyes back to her center.

"I can see your pussy, Devika."

He felt her legs shudder. He squeezed her thighs.

"Pretty pussy…nice fat one…"

Her saw her vulva throb.

She reached for her skirt again.

"Nah, move your hand."

She did what she was told to do.

"Pull your thong to the side, lemme see it all. I just wanna see it, Devika."

He licked his lips and his gaze drifted back up to her face.

He waited for her to either cuss him out and call HR or Tony…or pull them panties back as he asked.

Her body was responding to his touch. He could hear her breathing getting heavier.

"If you don't want to. It's cool. You just…you got me turned on right now and I'm just being blunt with it, Ma. Sexy as fuck right now. I'm under a damn desk and there's pretty pussy in my face. I'm gonna react. On God, girl, you got a nigga feeling thangs."

She chuckled breaking the tension.

Her fingers slid down under her skirt.

She was going to do it?

He felt his heart race.

"Fuck, Devika…"

Panties slid to the side he saw all of her glory. Part of her thong caught a bit of glistening natural lubricant and spread it across her inner lips. He pushed her thighs open even wider.

"Play with your pussy."

He shifted back onto his backside and felt his dick thicken watching her folds ooze fresh slick from her insides. Her short red fingernails stood out against the cozy brown of her vulva and the pink of her slit. She rubbed her swollen clit and he groaned—

-until Tony and three other men walked into the outer office.

"Hey, did Stevens make it up?"

Devika's eyes darted down to his as she slammed her legs together.

"He left a few minutes ago. A couple of interns came looking for him, so he may be caught up in something," she answered. There was no tension in her voice.

"Text him and let him know he can bring my touchpad up when he's done. Tell him to drop off that folder I asked for to Davidson's office. It's not confidential so if Davidson's gone to lunch he can leave it with his secretary."

Devika reached for her cell on her desk. Erik grabbed his cell from his back pocket and made sure it was on mute.

"Guys, is it okay if we just meet out here?" Tony said.

Fuck.

He heard the group shuffle over to Tony's outer office meeting space. Erik couldn't crawl out because they would see him. Why couldn't he meet in his inner office? He shifted under the desk as quiet as he could to keep his circulation going in his cramped legs.

The men were loud and quite comfortable and Erik could hear them getting up from time to time to use Tony's expensive Italian coffee maker. Devika's eyes met his a few times and she just shrugged at him. He'd have to wait it out and hope Tony didn't ask for him.

Devika sat in her seat, and as Tony's meeting progressed, her legs opened wider torturing Erik under the desk. She pulled her chair close bringing her fat vulva even closer. Teasing him wasn't helping him in his cramped state, so he took advantage and stroked her legs starting at her ankles and working his way up to her thighs again. She pretended to type on her laptop, but Erik knew she was actually enjoying him being trapped between her legs.

She squirmed a bit in her seat and Erik pushed back her skirt. Feeling bold, he reached up with his right hand and touched her outer lips, the clipped pubic hairs already slick. He traced his fingers up through her engorged inner labia and pinched her clit. He saw her eyes squeeze shut as she kept as quiet as a church mouse. Her legs quaked around his arms and he dipped two fingers into her wet slit. Her mouth fell open and the desire he saw in her eyes made the root of his dick throb hard in his pants.

Moving is fingers in and out of her with slow gentle thrusts, he could hear the stickiness getting louder with his manipulation. He wiggled his fingers back and forth to hit her walls and her legs bounced up and almost hit the underside of her desk. He glanced down at the bulge in his pants. They were being so reckless, and he didn't care.

"Devika, could you darken the walls please," Tony called out.

She leaned over to the side and Erik knew she was using a remote to make the glass walls of his outer office darken with a tinting fixture so no one could see what was going on inside. When she leaned back into position, Erik slipped his fingers back inside of her, digging in her a little deeper. He watched his digits work her slowly and her pussy pulsed, opening and closing around his fingers, a bit of creamy fluid spilling out when he took his fingers all the way out to play with her clit. Erik loved when a woman's pussy opened and closed with pleasure, the spasms pushing the bottom half of her vulva with light rhythmic pulses. The movement reminded Erik of a heartbeat. He wondered how it would feel around his dick. 

He whispered things to her moving his lips but not letting any sound come out. She could tell he was saying filthy things to her and her pussy and mouth reacted by both opening and closing. Erik's fingers were shiny and milky from her juices and when he poked his lips out to keep from groaning, Devika's mouth opened wider and her eyes slammed shut as he felt her pussy cum all around his fingers. The tight pulls nearly made him nut in his pants as he watched her soft wet pinkness kiss and suck his digits with hard tugs. The spasm petered out after a few minutes and Erik pulled his fingers out and licked them. She tasted good. Her pussy kept twitching and her pink slit acted like it needed his fingers back inside it again.

Devika cradled her face with her hands and he rubbed her thighs to calm her shaking legs.

Tony and company left for lunch after an hour.

Erik crawled from under the desk with cramped legs and a tight back. With the office blacked out from the outside, he sought out Devika's lips and she accepted them.

"Lock the door," he whispered in her ear.

Devika did with a wave of her hand, and he lifted her onto her desk.

Whatever fatigue he felt from fucking Athena and Giselle dissipated the moment Devika took him raw, hot, and oh so ready.

Chapter 16 HERE.

###

Tag List:

@fd-writes​ @soufcakmistress  @cherrystainedlipsbaby @tclaybon  @thadelightfulone

@allhailqueennel @bartierbakarimobisson @cpwtwot @shookmcgookqueen @yoyolovesbucky

@raysunshine78 @the-illllest @terrablaze514  @l-auteuse @amirra88 @jimizwidow @janelledarling

@chaneajoyyy @sweetestdream92 @purple-apricots @blackpinup22 @hennessystevens-udaku

@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @bugngiz @stariamrry  @honeytoffee @meilintheempressofdreams

@tyees @eye-raq @writerbee-ffs @chocolatedream30 @childishgambinaa @mygirlrenee​ @nahimjustfeelingit-writes​