#a little late on this one but im so much happier w/ how it came out!!!

[snowflakeanimelover]

Helloo, I'm really excited to req to you again! (until now I didn't have any req ideas..). May I req HCs of “Man. I was hoping you'd fall asleep in my arms.”, GN reader with Hirako (Bleach), Yato (Noragami), Edward (Fullmetal Alchemist) please? So maybe the movies could be the boring/not interested one he chose/picked but reader become invested in watching it that they ignore him?

Ahh im glad you like my writing :) Sorry this came out late!

Prompt HCs(Shinji Hirako/Yato/Edward Elric)

Prompt: “Man. I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.”

Shinji Hirako

He really didn’t expect you to be so invested in such a dull movie. He picked it on purpose, expecting you to be bored out of your mind and fall asleep in his arms.

A coward he may be, but clever nonetheless. If he was too shy to tell you how he felt, then why not figure out a way to get you to fall for him?

But, when the fall doesn’t happen, he turns to find you very concentrated in the movie.

That's when he had no choice but to push.

“Man. I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.” He tried to sound bored, glancing here and there at you. 

He thought he didn’t get a reaction from you, but after a few long minutes, you’re looking right at him with wide eyes. He returned the look, concerned if what he said was something he shouldn’t have said. He wasn’t expecting such a face from you.

“What?” He asks you.

“W-well…um…I just wasn’t expecting that from you,” you mumble, “w-were you trying to get me to do that?”

Shinji looked away in embarrassment, scratching his chin nervously. “I mean…it was an attempt. Did it work?”

Your face was red, making him smirk in slight victory. “Uh…it does sound appealing.” 

He opens his arms for you to rest on his chest. He couldn't be anymore happier, knowing that he managed to get you in his arms.

Yato

It was selfish, he knows, but he couldn’t keep it to himself any longer. As much as he cares for you, he just never found the time to admit how much he loves you to your face. So, he figured this just might do the trick. 

To his surprise, though, he finds you so invested in the movie that was supposed to be boring for you. 

He knows you to be the type to fall asleep if you were to get bored, so he for sure knew this would work. Apparently, he didn’t know you as well as he thought.

“Man…I was hoping you’d fall asleep in my arms.” He mumbled to himself. But he didn’t realize he said it aloud to where you could hear. He watched your eyes slightly widen as you watched the TV, slowly turning your head to him.

“H-huh?” You gasp lightly.

He already dug himself, might as well continue. “I mean…that’s uh…if you wanted to…?” Smooth, Yato. Real smooth.

You smiled and chuckled at his weird behavior. But you nodded and instinctively yawned. “Sure.” 

He couldn’t feel anymore happier in his life. He couldn’t believe it actually worked, and he forsees his future to use this tactic whenever there was a good opportunity.

Edward Elric

Television was always something boring in daily life. To Edward, at least. He’d rather go around and chase bad people or train than sit and watch something. But such an opportunity couldn’t be missed. 

As often as his little brother nags him for never telling you his feelings, he feels pretty proud of himself at this moment. That is, until you didn’t fall asleep like he was hoping. 

I couldn’t stop staring at you as you watched the television so intently. How could you like news on crime going around town on a night like this? He simply couldn’t understand you, but that's why he loves you. 

Soon enough, you caught him staring at you. “What? Is there something on my face?”

He quickly cleared his throat, finally taking his eyes off of you. “Well….to be honest…I was hoping you'd fall asleep in my arms.”

“What?” You deadpan. This was not like the Edward you knew. If anything, he’d have training on his mind instead of someone he cares about. “What’s gotten into you?”

Now, he had to think of something. Of course, he didn’t have the guts to tell you his feelings at this moment, so instead, he thought of something else. “I just…I have a lot on my mind and need comfort.” He declares, head held high as if he is proud of something.

You raised your eyebrow. You weren't sure whether to believe him, but it isn’t really too far from the truth. As much as he’s gone through, it’s not surprising that he would need comfort here and there. With a sigh, you let yourself fall onto his shoulder. “Better?” You ask him as you slowly grow more comfortable leaning on him.

He nods slowly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Y-Yeah…”

[naturallytom]

Mending a Broken Heart (Tom Holland x reader, alternative part)

a/n: me? writing? unheard of. jk im tryin to get back into the groove!! this is an alternate version to Mending a Broken Heart, so some parts are the same and some I’ve edited or added some things! hope u enjoy!! 

warnings: language, angst, mentions of cheating

please reblog/leave feedback!!

picture not mine!

You had noticed it for months. Tom has been pulling away, spending more time out with the boys than at home with you. His kisses became forced and the words ‘love you’ slowly stopped falling from his lips. 

Most days he would leave for work before you woke up and on the rare occasion you were up when he left, he would mumble a ‘goodbye’ before walking out the door. Sometimes, if you were lucky, he would press a gentle kiss to your forehead. Most times, though, he would just leave. 

You did your best to keep the love alive, you were still madly in love with him. The wedding band that sat tightly on your ring finger mocked you. A symbol of what was love has turned into one sided love. Hell, you weren’t sure if Tom wore his wedding ring anymore. 

A quick glance to his left hand would reveal that he didn’t. 

You spent your nights wondering if it was something you did. Were you too clingy when he left to film? Was he just tired of you after four years of marriage? Did he find someone else?

No. You shook your head to yourself one night as you laid in the bed by yourself, the space usually occupied by Tom cold. If he found someone else and if he cheated, that’s on him. Not on you. 

Still, the thought plagued your mind. Did he meet someone else? Was she prettier than you? Is that where he was when he said he was out with the boys? Was she able to give him something you couldn’t give him?

The door opening and shutting alerted you that Tom was home. You sighed, knowing it’d be another night of sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. 

The door to the bedroom opened and in came Tom, Tessa jumping up to greet him. 

“Hey girl, hey love, how are you, hm?” He whispered, petting Tessa as his eyes flickering over to you, who was visibly awake. “Thought you’d be asleep by now. ‘S late.” 

“Couldn’t sleep.” You replied simply. “Hey so I was thinking, we haven’t had a date night in a while, maybe you wanted to go out to see the Halloween decorations around town and get dinner tomorrow night?” 

“Can’t,” He shook his head as he got ready for bed. “Harrison wants to watch the game. Told him I’d go.” 

“Didn’t you just see Harrison tonight?” 

“Yeah, and?” 

“Nothing.” You sighed, obviously upset. “Nothing, Tom. Goodnight.” 

“Night.” He responded, turning out the light and climbing into bed, falling asleep with his back toward you. 

-

The next day, you were surprised to see Tom already awake and waiting in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of tea when you got downstairs. 

“Good morning.” You smiled softly. 

“We need to talk.” He told you. You felt your heart drop and your palms get sweaty, but you wiped them on your pajama pants in an effort to seem totally calm and not panicked. 

“A-About what?” You asked, your voice coming out shaky. 

“I think,” Tom started. “I think we should get divorced.” 

It was then, at 8:30 am that your world came crashing down. 

“W-What?” You whimpered out, your voice weaker than before. “Why?”

“I’m not happy with you anymore.” He said simply. Your eyes flickered to his left hand, noticing the absence of the golden wedding band, making your heart ache. 

“We can try couples’ therapy. We can go on dates like we used to, Tom, please! We can fight for this, Tom. Fight for us.” You cried, your heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, each one puncturing your lungs as you struggled to keep your breath under control. 

“No,” He shook his head. “My mind is made up. I’m sorry, y/n. Um, I found a lawyer at a firm, they have a lot of other lawyers there you can contact. I’ll just, uh, leave their card here.” 

“So that’s it? Three years of dating and four years of marriage down the drain?” You sobbed, holding your knees to your chest as you sat on the kitchen floor. 

“I’m sorry, y/n. Truly, I am.”

He placed the small business card on the counter, grabbing the bags you didn’t even notice, mumbling an ‘I’ll be staying with Haz,’ before walking out the front door, like he did every other day. This time, though, you had the sinking feeling he was leaving for good. 

-

It was only three weeks that your lawyer came over to meet with you, joined by Tom and his lawyer. You kept your eyes focused on the table as you signed the paperwork, wanting to get this done as soon as possible. 

As soon as everyone left, you shut the door, slid down the back of it, and cried. 

-

Nearly two months after the worst day of your life and it was time for a self care night. The ring that once sat on your left hand was buried away in your jewelry box somewhere and you were finally starting to feel free and somewhat happy again after crying yourself to sleep and wondering where it all went wrong for months. 

After the divorce you buried yourself in work, using it as a distraction from going home to an empty house. You also moved out of the house you once called home. Not only was it too painful to go home to an empty house, but it was too painful to go home to a house that held so many happy and loving memories. You took the necessities along with some things you wanted with you and set yourself up in a hotel room for the time being. You treated it as a vacation. Except only a few people knew where you were. Your family knew, along with your friends, including Harrison, on the condition he didn’t tell Tom where you were. You started making time for yourself in your little hotel room and you became happier. 

Tonight, after a long day of work, you ordered your favorite Chinese food, played your favorite songs, and ran yourself a bath with a vanilla scented bath bomb. You were enjoying a glass of wine, the hot water of the bath soothing you when the music playing from your phone was interrupted by a call coming in. 

To your surprise, it was Tom. You contemplated answering it, but instead, let it go to voicemail. However, you were curious as to why he called, though you were also 99% positive it was a pocket dial. So you played the voicemail, the familiar voice ringing throughout the bathroom. 

“Hey y/n, um, I hope you’re doing well. I just called because I wanted to tell you something. I um, I miss you. A lot. And I know I don’t get to feel that way but I do and I just wanted to tell you that and I guess ask if there was any possibility of meeting to talk? Uh, call me back if...if you want. I don’t blame you if you hate me. Bye. Love y-” 

You turned off the voicemail before the phrase could be finished. Millions of thoughts filled your mind, ranging from happy ones to ones that made your heart ache and tears fill your eyes. 

You decided to ignore it, pretend it never happened, and enjoy your self care night. 

-

When Tom pulled up to his former house with flowers in his car and a pit of nerves in his stomach, he expected to see your car in the driveway and at least one light to be on. He was greeted with an empty driveway and a dark house, which confused him. It was the weekend, so you weren’t work. Maybe you had to run an errand? 

But after 20 minutes, he gave up hope that you were home and tried to call you, which to no surprise, you didn’t pick up again. He instead called Harrison in an effort to try and find out if he knew where you were. 

“What do you want?” Harrison answered, half concentrating on what Tom was about to say and half concentrating on the game in front of him. 

“Do, uh, do you know where y/n is?” Tom asked, taking Harrison by surprise. 

“y/n?” Harrison paused the game, suddenly not able to concentrate on it. “Why d’you want to know where y/n is?”

“I just want to talk to her.” He mumbled. 

“If I knew that’s where you were going I wouldn’t have let you go.” Harrison sighed. “Listen she made me swear that I wouldn’t tell you-” 

“Please Harrison? You’ve seen how much of a mess I’ve been. I just want to see if I have a shot.” Tom begged, making his friend cave. 

“Fine but if she moves again I won’t be telling you shit.”  

-

The next day you were enjoying a cup of tea and reading your book, getting some relaxation in before your week began when a knock on the door interrupted you. Confusion filled your body, you weren’t expecting anyone to pop by. 

Looking out the peephole, you froze at the sight that greeted you. Tom was standing outside your door, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hands. 

“Hi.” He breathed out, his nose and the tips of his ears red from the harsh winter air. 

“How the hell did you find me?” You asked, keeping your eyes focused on the ground. 

“Harrison. I begged him to tell me.” He answered. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” You muttered. “What do you want?”

“Can..Can I come in?” He asked. 

You wanted to say no, that he could say what he wanted to say outside or just not let him speak at all. But you wanted to be courteous to the other people on your floor and part of you was curious as to what he was going to say. So you wordlessly opened the door slightly, letting him in and closing the door behind him. 

“Now what do you want?”

“Did you get my voicemail?” He responded, hope filling his eyes when you nodded. “Um, I brought these for you. I was hoping we could talk.” 

“I don’t want your flowers. Why should I talk to you? We’re divorced, just like you wanted.” Tom winced at the words. “Nothing to change.” 

“Actually, we’re not.” He corrected. “I called the office the other day. Um, it’s not official yet.” 

“Well then they should make it official. Maybe I can call them and make it happen as my very last Christmas present to you. Just what you wanted.” You snapped. 

“No, this isn’t what I want, can I speak, please?” He pleaded, his eyes resembling those of a puppy. 

“You’re speaking already.” You answered, gesturing for him to continue nonetheless. 

“I- How have you been? I stopped by the house-”

“Tom I’m not gonna listen to your small talk. Say what you have to say and leave.” You told him. His heart broke but he couldn’t blame you. 

“Um, so I thought I wasn’t happy with you but um, as time went on, I realized how much I miss having you in my life.” He began, visibly nervous. “I was just looking through our pictures and how happy you looked and I just, I guess I realized I wanted to be the one to make you that happy again.”

“You haven’t made me happy in months, Tom.” 

“I know.” His heart clenched. “I know and I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am.” 

“Was there someone else? Did you cheat on me?” You asked. 

“No, no absolutely not, y/n.” He answered before adding; “I went on a date with someone after we split up but it didn’t work out. I realized she wasn’t what I want.” 

“Of course she wasn’t.” You scoffed. 

“I want you, y/n. I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy again.” He told you, tears filling your eyes. “Is there..is there any possibility you could love me again?” 

“Again?” You seethed. “Tom I never fell out of love with you! I never stopped loving you! That was all you! You stopped loving me and you wanted this stupid fucking divorce!”

“I..I don’t think I ever stopped loving you either.” He whispered, tears falling down his rosy cheeks. “Please, y/n, if there’s even the tiniest chance..” 

“Of what, Tom? Of going right back to being married? Of you making me happy? I don’t know, Tom! I don’t know anything except that I hate you right now.” You sobbed, crying into your knees while Tom let out quiet sobs of his own, his heart clenching at the lack of wedding band on your left hand and the lack of love in your voice, but especially your eyes. Your eyes, which once held so much love and adoration for him were now full of anger and resentment. 

“Of..anything, y/n. Please, I just want a second chance to show you how much you mean to me, to make you happy again. I will do anything to save us, anything you want. And...and if it’s not working or you just really hate me, I wouldn’t blame you. Not at all.” He begged, his eyes puffy and red. 

“I tried to save us, Tom. Don’t you remember? I begged and pleaded with you to do couples therapy to go on dates when you were breaking my heart into a million tiny pieces. I begged you to try and fight for us, for our marriage, but you just walked out the god damn door!” You spit through gritted teeth. 

“I fucked up, I know. I fucked up so badly.” He cried, wiping his tears away. 

“And if leaving me wasn’t enough, you took Tessa too! I was left completely alone in that big fucking house that was haunted by you. I couldn’t stand it.” You sobbed. 

“I’m..I’m sorry, y/n. So so fucking sorry. What do you want me to do?” 

“I want...I want you to hurt. I want you to hurt the way you hurt me. I want you to know how this fucking feels.” You said, your voice getting louder with each word that fell from your lips.

Tom could only cry. This was ripping him apart, he couldn’t even imagine what the whole thing felt like to you. 

“I’m gonna need time to think, Tom.” You finally mumbled, Tom nodding in response. 

“I’ll give you all the time you need. I promise you-” 

“Don’t. Don’t promise me anything.” You spoke, your voice low. “You won’t be able to keep it. You promised you’d love me forever four years ago and look what happened.” 

“y/n pl-”

“You don’t get to do this. You-you don’t get to just waltz right back in here and ask for a second chance to fight for us when I didn’t even get a first chance. How do I know this won’t end like it did before?” 

“y/n, I swear to you, if this isn’t working out, you can leave me. I...I just want a chance to prove myself to you.” He begged. 

“God, Tom. You don’t get it! I’m not going through this again. Do you realize how much you broke me the first time? Fuck, you had a chance, Tom. And you threw it away.” You muttered quietly. 

“I regret that every day. Every god damn day.” He told you honestly.

“I don’t know, Tom.” You sighed. 

“Talk to me?” He tried, knowing you were hiding something deeper than an ‘I don’t know.’

“Don’t know what else there is to say.” You mumbled. “I don’t trust you, I-I can’t trust you. I hate you.” 

“Why’d you get a hotel room?” Tom sniffled, changing the subject. 

“I told you. I hated being in that house. Hated being surrounded by the happy pictures and memories of us.” You told him honestly. “I want to start over.” 

“What?”

“I want to start over. I can’t go back to being emotionally married to you even if we’ll still be married legally. I’m talking starting from scratch, as if we were meeting for the first time, the whole deal.” You told him. 

“That sounds perfect, y/n. Thank y-”

“Get out, Tom. Please. I just want to be alone and not with you right now. I’m still not happy with you.” 

“Okay.” He breathed out, hope filling him once again. “You won’t regret this, I promise.” 

“What did I just say about promises?” You asked tearily. 

“I know, I know. I’m determined to keep this promise, though.” He told you. 

“Fine. Whatever. Just please leave for now.” You whimpered, watching as he walked out the door, just like he did when he broke your heart. 

You decided you needed another self care night. Another bath was run, another vanilla scented bath bomb was used, more wine was consumed. 

Tom texted you right as you got out of the bath. 

Tom: hey y/n, it’s tom, just incase you don’t have my number saved anymore. I just wanted to say thank you for the second chance. I really am grateful. I hope you have a relaxing night, you deserve it. 

You rolled your eyes and tossed your phone gently on your bed, though you could feel your heart rate pick up and butterflies fill your stomach. 

-

Tom began texting you sweet little things each morning, whether it was to let you know that he’s been thinking of you or to tell you that he hopes you have a great day. At first you ignored them, but then you began responding in short answers of one or two words until the two of you were texting every day, like when you met for the first time seven years ago. 

-

Over a month after you started texting again, Tom took you on a first date. Pulling up to your hotel, Tom felt the nerves fill his body as he walked up to your door and knocked, another bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand. 

He felt all the air leave his lungs as you opened the door. You looked absolute stunning. You were wearing a navy blue dress that reached down to just above your knees, one Tom bought you one year. 

“Wow, hi.” He breathed. “You look stunning.” 

“Thank you.” You smiled, accepting the flowers he handed you. “I’ll be right back.” 

Tom took you to your favorite restaurant that night, one that the two of you frequented when you (formerly) went on dates. 

When he took you back to your hotel, he walked you up to the door, where he nervously asked if he could kiss you. 

You said yes, and that was all Tom needed to press a soft kiss to your lips. The kiss was magical, both of you felt the sparks between the two of you. 

“God I missed doing that.” Tom mumbled as he pulled away to breathe. 

“Then do it again.” 

-

A couple months after that, Tom moved back in with you. You had gone back to the house every now and then, to slowly acclimate yourself to being back in the once happy house, only fully moving back when Tom moved back as well. The pictures of the two of you were dusted off, making your heart race instead of hurt at the sight of the happy memories. 

-

Finally, after a year, Tom proposed to you (again). You hesitated a little bit, still scared it would end in heartbreak again, which broke Tom’s heart, but said you yes in the end. 

The two of you renewed your vows, putting on the golden bands that were once again a symbol of the love the two of you shared. 

You had a small party back at your house after the ceremony, your families joining to celebrate. You found Tom alone in the kitchen, grabbing a beer for him and Harry. 

“Hey.” You greeted, fiddling with your fingers as tears of happiness filled your eyes. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, my love?” Tom asked, concerned as soon he saw the tears filling your eyes. 

“Nothing, nothing. I, um,” You started, wiping your tears away and wrapping your arms around Tom’s neck. “I’m really glad we made it back to this.” 

“Me too, lovey. I love you so much.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Hey, Tommy?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You kept your promise.” You smiled softly, making Tom’s heart ache at the memory of you not being able to trust him. 

“I told you I would.” 

Your moment was interrupted by Harrison, who entered the kitchen, smiling at his two best friends happily in love once again. 

“Aren’t you so glad I told him where you were staying?” He joked, making you roll your eyes. 

“Shut up, Harrison.” You smiled. As your eyes flickered between Tom and Harrison, though, you knew you wouldn’t have been in this position if Harrison didn’t spill the beans to Tom. 

“Hey Haz?” You called, as Harrison went to leave the kitchen in fake offense. He turned at the sound of his name, knowing what was coming. 

“Thank you.” Tom nodded in agreement, his arm slipping around your waist. 

Harrison just smiled even bigger, all three of you knowing everything would be okay from now on.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 2)

Here we’ve got asks that aren’t to ask a question but are just really nice messages. Thank you all for sending us such kind comments ;v;. It’s seriously heartwarming to see so many people having good experiences with the game. I don’t even know what to say to such sweet responses.

We’ll keep doing our best and thank you again to each and every one of you for giving Our Life a chance ❤!

Hello! I've been following this account and have been following the development of 'Our Life' for a few months now, and I just wanted to say thank you for all your hard work and dedication you have put into the game. It astonishes me how much choice you have during the sequence of Our Life and am excited to play the full version now, I am downloading it as I write this message. I've had a great time seeing the demo transition into to the full game and just wanted to write two words. Thank you.

Anhhhhffbgdfbhujk!!! Congratulations on the release, I’m playing the game right now! Thank you all for your hard work and I can’t wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out, I’ll probably wait for the Step 3 DLC to come out to experience everything, but until then, I still have a lot to play. Thank you once again!

finished my first playthrough just now. it just felt so wholesome ??? 100/10 would do it again. i laughed. i cried. i got angry. i felt second-hand embrassment— i got so into it i was left in literal tears after getting my first ending. the art, the storyline, the music, and COVE HOLDEN– UGH IT WAS LITERAL PERFECTION ❤ THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT. THANK YOU FOR MAKING SUCH AN AMAZING GAME 🥺😭 this made my 2020 better, i can't wait for step 4 in 2021 ❤❤

So I was following you guys on itchio for years and uhh did I stay up til 6 am on a school night to finish the game? Yes. Did I sob my eyes out during step 3 as a 20 year old having doubts about life and adulthood? Absolutely. I can't form proper sentences right now due to lack of sleep but just wanted to say thank you for making it. I honestly feel lighter and I feel like it changed my views on future to be more optimistic... I can't wait to replay it! Thanks again!

I love how Our Life turned out!! I keep replaying it and can't stop squeaking and giggling!! Thank You for creating it ♥

okay i have actually fallen in love with cove and cannot WAIT to marry him 😭

Hi! I played through 'Our Life' yesterday and  I just wanna say how refreshing it was to be able to have Cove be 'high initiative' and also have so many opportunities to initiate affection from the player character! As a pretty flirtatious/affectionate person myself, I notice that a lot of VNs don't give players that agency, and affection can be kinda 'carrot on a stick' if that makes sense. You guys did an awesome job! I look forward to seeing if there are more of those moments in Step 3 & 4 :)

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the option to choose Cove's level of initiative in step 3! As much I love the option to choose I personally enjoy have the romanced character take the lead without my input so when I got to step 3 and had to option to make it so that Cove initiated affection without as much input from me I was really happy! You guys seriously added so much freedom in terms of choices, it's almost baffling that the only thing you have to pay for is optional DLC!

I absolutely loved everything about the game and I really want congratulate the team for making the game such a satisfying experience.

I look forward to step 4

❤️❤️❤️❤️

* and sorry for my bad English

Just finished my first play through and I loved it! I've been looking forward to the game and it definitely was worth the wait. Thank you all for your hard work and can't wait for the extra dlc!

Till then, hope you guys gets some well deserved rest🤗

Love you guys, thank you so much for your hard work. :)

Ok, so I just finished Our Life and, wow. I have never cried at a video game before, ever. Thank you so, so much! Its one of my favorites.

this isn't a question, but i just wanted to say how much i enjoyed our life 🥺 i've been patiently looking forward to the full game for a few months now, and i couldn't be happier with it! i've only played through it once so far but the outcomes of the choices i made were all so soft and wholesome 💗 i can tell that everyone who was involved really worked hard and you all did an incredible job! i can't wait to see what else is in store 👍

i’d just like to say how addictive our life is!!! i constantly played it during quarantine and now playing the full release is so amazing to me!! i love that i’m still discovering dialogue bits with different personalities and actions!!! i have to admit that i’ve been wishing the day to pass faster all day during school so i could go home and play again. mentally i’m not the healthiest and our life being released has boosted it up so much, thank you for creating such an amazing game!!!!!

Hey, I just wanna say I played our life two times and it still give me the same feelings. I was really looking forward to this game before it came out and I kept on replaying the demo. This game is such an amazing experience and I feel so happy playing it. I am not really a person good with words unfortunately but I do honestly love this more than anything in the world. Thank you for making it and I hope that you will continue to make more games like our life. This game really makes me happy and I can't thank you enough

Just wanted to say that Our Life really made me feel seen as an 18 year old trans man who's been struggling with change as of late and I can't thank you guys enough for it. I just finished the main story and currently released DLC's and gosh, I can really only say... woah. Just, woah. The messages are somehow exactly what I needed to hear right now, and they brought me a lot of comfort in this really weird and confusing time in my life. Can't wait to see what comes next in this lovely story <3

I am honestly in love with Our Life. The graphics, the soundtrack its just *chef's kiss* It was so worth the wait for it. I can't wait for step 4. Keep up the good work GB Patch!

good people i have just finished Our Life and let me say, it was beautiful. rarely have such non-fantastical moments (and even some fantastical moments) brought me to tears like this game has, and i don't even have the dlc (yet). i don't know how you did it but it felt like i was playing a slice of life anime. i had waited with baited breath to play this since i played the demo and my expectations were not just met but surpassed. from the bottom of my heart thank you for this game

I found the game by chance and I am so so glad I did. It’s so inclusive and made me feel so incredibly seen. Seeing that my gender identity and sexuality were possible just meant the absolute world to me. I’ve never seen something like this and it just made me so incredibly happy. Thank you for the absolutely amazing game and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Hello! I downloaded Our life earlier this week and I'm only now getting the chance to play it (Very busy and stressful week) I'm so excited to play and I wanna say thank you for making this adorable game!

I just finished my first playthrough of Our Life and I can't even express how much I love it. Cove is absolutely precious and has killed me several times, and the art and soundtrack is beautiful. I love all the small different choices. I'm very interested in the Derek and Baxter DLCs and the rest, can't wait!!!!!!

thank you for "Our Life Beginnings & Always" it has to be one of the best visual novels i ever have played and i just dont want it to end (i know it will, but damn it! i want to have a wedding night, have children and die of old age with cole! XD) when i play it it always makes me tear up (in a good way) and i am most definetly going to buy all the dlc that you make! thank you for this lovely game and all the work that went into it! (ps: i also loved "lake of voices" )

You guys are incredibly talented and im very proud of you all! You've really outdone yourselves w/ OL and i cant wait to see whats next to come for you all :)

i really love that you can be trans in Our Life! not a lot of games do that so i just wanted to say thank you!

Guuyyss!! I just wanna say! Thank you sm for the headscarf option in the MC creator! I especially loved that little detail where MC quickly slips the headscarf on before greeting Cove, I've never felt so immersed :'D Not that the rest of the game wasn't immersive btw, but since I wear my hijab most of the time that little addition really felt like something I would do! So thank you for that <3

I've been watching "Our Life: Beginnings & Always" development for quite some time, and I gotta say its wild to see it finally release. Its so unique in the way relationships work- even character creation. I've cried multiple times over this game while playing. I can't thank y'all enough for a game with these kind of mechanics, and representation. its rare I get to feel im really playing as myself in games like these. Everyones outdone themselves. this'll certainly be one I keep coming back to.

I've been following the development of Our Life from way back when the first demo dropped and it still blows my mind how many choices and customizations there are (love that update for the MC's bedroom btw!) and the fact that the game remembers them - it really feels like your very own coming of age story! I was so immersed I cried at the end :') Can't believe I experienced this game for free lol. I can't wait for future DLCs and Step 4! Good luck with all your upcoming projects dev team!!

Just wanted to say I love Our Life and I'm thankful it exists. Thank you so much! I love the little world you created and all the people in it. Especially Cove! This game makes me so happy!

Just poping in to say hi and that ilu guys ^^, remember to take care of yourselves!

Hi!! I just wanna thank you for creating such an amazing game. Our Life is one of the few dating sims I’ve found that let’s me be a male mc, it’s really hard to find dating sims that let me be gay. Our Life is my new favorite dating sim to just sit down and playthrough whenever I’m having a bad day so I just wanted to let y’all know how much I appreciate all you’ve done. 🤍

Fan from australia here

Just wanted to reach out and let you know how important this game has been to me. I came across it at a really rough time ( that I’m still going through ) and it’s been one of the things that’s driven me to get up and out of bed sometimes.

This game and cove both hold a very special place in my heart and I can’t wait to see more of him in the DLC and Step 4

Much love ♥️

I know this isnt exactly the main focus of the game, but i really love how we can customise the mc personality wise! This is the first time i've played a game like this where the mc actually does and says exactly what I would do and say in certain situations and its such a breath of fresh air!! It's also so cool how the other characters can pick up on it!!

Cove Holden saved 2020 (my 2020 anyways) I would die for him

Sorry for this being out of the blue, but after playing through Our Life I wanted to thank you for the experience. I don’t know if I’ve ever played a game that has made me cry happy tears TWICE lol. It’s beautiful, scenic, inclusive, and absolutely amazing..have a great rest of 2020 and I honestly cannot wait for the rest of it :,) (ps. The ending song is stuck in my head)

I think you guys might've ruined visual novels for me forever. I'm not sure I'll be able to play another without comparing it to Our Life and I know if I do that I'll be disappointed every time because of how amazing it is. I bought the DLCs before playing the base game it's one of the best impulsive purchases I've ever made

Thank you so much for making our life! It's my favorite visual novel ever and I just can't articulate how much being able to just be honest with my responses instead of going for whatever would make the love interest happy means to me? I reccomended it to evry friend I have that plays visual novels because this is the best one I've ever played!

Just wanted to say that I absolutely adore this game! The childhood friends tropes is my favorite thing and this game delivers! Cove is the sweetest thing, infact all the boys are good boys. Super excited for all upcoming dlcs!

Hi, I just want to thank you for making such an amazing game like Our Life. Tbh, I was following the game’s development for a while, but me and my family moved away from my childhood town just a few days before release, so I really connected to this game. You all did amazing!

hey just wanted to know that i completely loved ol: b&a and it was so good and love cove more than i’ve liked any fictional character, it’s now my comfort media. thank you so much

hi i just wanna say i really enjoyed all of the representation in our life b&a! there were characters with a lot of different body shapes, pic characters, lgbtq+ characters, and you get to choose your own pronouns and sexuality!!! so tysm!!

This isn't a question, I just wanted to say that Our Life is incredible. Ever since I finished it, I've been looking for other visual novels to play so I don't play OL so often that I start memorizing the lines before all the DLC comes out, but I keep coming back to it. It's really one of a kind, I think you all ruined other visual novels for me because I haven't enjoyed another VN like I have this one since I read it ❤.

i think our life b&a is the first game where i felt like cove loved me, not the character i play as which is really nice for someone with kinda low self esteem so THANK YOU

I’ve been playing Our Life practically nonstop since yesterday. I just want everyone who worked on it to know how much the LGBTQ inclusivity means to me. As a closeted trans ace guy in an unsupportive household, I can’t emphasize how much of a comfort this game has been to me. Everything about it is so wholesome and heartfelt. I’m excited to see what other games you make in the future 💙

- A demibiromantic ace transgender man who may or may not have cried over the option to be myself in a game for the first time ever

Csn i just say i really appreciate how you handled MC deciding to use they/them at different stages. Mainly because alot of games don't pay much attention to the body the mc was assigned at birth if they player chooses nonbinary like it does with male/female. And it was just nice to be able to play an mc who just thought gender was kinda 'meh' for them but still felt good about the body they were born with (like myself). I guesd it boils down I'm really appreciative of the hard work it must've taken for you to make all those options possible & still have them matter.

I just wanted to thank you all for Our Life. My mental health hasn't been in a good place recently and it has become my favorite form of escapism/way to cheer up. It's idyllic setting and fantastic characters are such a good way to wind down, I love it. Also, I've been dreading 2021 due to classes starting and general stress, but the DLC and your next project have given me something to actually look forward to :). I'm so excited for them and now I actually have a reason to be happy that it's 2021. Sorry if this message is a bit weird, I just wanted to thank the team for their hard work and for creating something so incredible <3

I've gotta say this is one of the most repayable games I've ever played, if not the most. Usually after i do a playthrough or two of a game i have to wait awhile before playing again otherwise it feels stale. But i haven't had that problem with our life because of the sheer ammount of player agency. Everyone who works on tbe game should feel incredibly proud of themselves because you've created something amazing.

I just wanted to say thank you for Our Life. I'm sure you get this a lot, but it really pulled me out of a mentally tough spot in my life. So thank you.

who needs therapy when you have our life: beginnings and always? haha no but seriously this game is my comfort game, and even though i can’t join your patreon at the moment please know i am always supporting you and i am so excited to see everything you have in store! everyone who works on the games is so so talented

All DLCs have nice content. 😡😡

And I love them all!!💗💗💗💖💖💖💕💕💕

[kookieskiwi]

Hi! Can I request ot7 mafia au! x reader with the situasion of panic attack "we're here baby take a breath for us". Kookieskiwi I hope you're doing well btw I like your new drabble and I'm in love with it and its make me want more Im sorry 😭. I love you 😘💜

(Akbdiandhe I screamed when I got this notification ❤️ I’m doing really good, thank you for your concern 🥺💕 i try really hard to write things my readers want to read so I’m extremely happy that you liked my recent Drabble 🥺✨ don’t apologize for wanting more! You have no idea how happy it makes me to write for you guys ❤️ and even more so when it’s because you liked one of my previous works so much! I love you so much more and remember ‘you nice keep going’ my lovely 💜😘🤩)

This is the last Drabble they are referring to btw

WARNING: MENTIONS OF A PANIC ATTACK AND MURDER, if these topics are triggering for you I suggest you don’t read this!

-

Today wasn’t a good day for you at all. The boys left before you had even woken up for a deal they had been planning for months now leaving you to spend the entire day alone. You understood they were business men of sorts and with that occupation came ungodly hours of work which often left you alone. But being alone wasn’t that much of a problem because you always had contact with the boys somehow wether it be a simple text message or a quick phone call.

But now, in the early hours of the next morning when you hadn’t heard from them all day; you weren’t okay at all. You kept your phone near you at all times; when you showered, went to the bathroom, cooked dinner for all of you only to put the rest in the fridge, but ultimately you did nothing but lay around the house hoping to hear a ‘ding’ from your phone which never came.

They had been gone for 24 hours without a single word. From midnight to three am you had been calling guards and those who worked under them in case they had any knowledge of their whereabouts but all came back negative. They had been gone for days before but never without checking in every few hours or so to let you know they were okay. Sometimes it was simply a heart emoji or a ‘love you’ which was enough to let you know they were okay.

“Are you sure you haven’t heard anything from them?” You asked one of their subordinates from the agency. “No ma’am, the last we heard from them was right before they left. We’ve been searching everywhere and hacking into security footage around town but they’re good at what they do, they won’t be found easily.” He responded telling you everything you already knew. They were the best of the best when it came to everything including secrecy. Which was great, until now.

“Thank you Soobin, please keep an ear and eye out in case you see or hear anything from them.” You told him sighing, “will do Noona, until then please don’t make any rash decisions. Stay home and if they don’t check in within the next few hours I’ll send someone to get you and bring you to the HQ.” He informed you of his plan which you agreed to easily, it’d be much better being alone with people around as odd as that may seem. You were alone without the loves of your life and without knowing if they were okay or not.

It was now 5 am and they hadn’t checked in with anyone and no one knew of their whereabouts. You tried holding in your tears as the gut wrenching feeling that something had gone wrong hit it was hard not to let a tear fall. Trekking up the stairs to your shared bedroom you didn’t want to see the empty bed so you walked slowly hoping that before you got to the top of the stairs they would come rushing through the door and they’d be safe in your arms once again.

You were tired and worried which was never a good mix for you. The fear of losing the ones you loved the most got to you on the last step of the staircase before you came tumbling down both emotionally and physically. You tried clutching onto the railing to keep you stabilized but it failed as your body crumpled onto the stairs curling yourself into a ball and you resting your head in your hands.

Your stomach felt as if it you were one a roller coaster at the tip top before it fell. The anxiety you had build up during the day was the roller coaster and the falling was you right now. All the way to rock bottom. Your sobs filled the room while you tried to comfort yourself by curling even further into your own body. “Please let them be okay, god please.” You prayed knowing it was the only thing you could do now besides wait. The simple thought of them not making it back home was enough to throw you into a downward spiral.

Ringing in your ears began to drown out the sound of your own cries and please that you were no longer controlling. Your head began to ache with a fuzz which clouded your thoughts and filled your head. Your throat was on fire from crying, you were shaking like a leaf in the wind, you couldn’t hear anything but the blood thrumming through your veins but none of that mattered. No, all that mattered to you was your boys who weren’t here and that was the worst part.

Clutching your pounding head you tried breathing but you couldn’t, you couldn’t do anything but lie there letting yourself fade into your own emotions. Your chest ached as if your heart had physically shattered from the agony of not knowing and knowing you were helpless in this situation.

“Please be okay, please come home to me. I promise to love you for the rest of our lives, I love you all so much God please let them come back home.” You pleaded with your eyes screwed shut. You felt like you were drowning in your own tears, the inability to catch your breath being the main factor in this feeling but your whole body felt under some sort of pressure.

That was until you felt a much heavier pressure on top of that, the numbness you had felt overcome your body slowly went away with the ringing in your ears which allowed you to come to an understanding of what exactly that pressure was.

A person.

Opening your eyes you tried to see but everything was blurry, your tears kept falling no matter how hard you tried to stop. “We’re here baby. Take a breath for us please.” It was Yoongi. Your Yoongi. And he said ‘We’re’ meaning they are all home. Choking on your sobs once again you reach out to him and anyone near you to hold them as close as possible.

“You’re- home.” You sobbed into his chest as him arms reached around you to pull you further into his embrace. You let everything else out in tears of relief. They were home. Alive. Safe. The more you cried the less intense your sobs got and the more you could breath even though it was still hard to regulate your body. “Please never do that again.” Your voice cracked as you squeezed Jimin’s hand in yours sighing but still hiccuped as you tried to calm down.

“We won’t baby. I promise because we are retiring from that job.” Namjoon told you coming close to your face to wipe the tears away, he held your face between his calloused hands which you leaned into, craving to feel him; all of them. “W-what?” You asked confused, you thought you heard correctly but you weren’t sure. After coming down from such an intense panic attack you didn’t know what was real and what was part of your imagination. “We are here, for there rest of out lives. Just you and us. No more late night jobs, no more trades that make us leave for days, none of it anymore. Just us, settling down and staring the family we’ve always wanted.” He explained further making you want to sob even more knowing all your nights of worrying were coming to an end.

You couldn’t help but let a few more tears slip as you smile at them, crying now from the sheer thought of having all of them home safe and sound. “I love you all so much, I was so scared.” You told them shutting your eyes closed once again to cry a little more. “I’m so sorry baby, we were ambushed and we lost all connection with you and the agency. We couldn’t risk them finding our home, finding you, so we hide and we couldn’t contact anyone in fear they had the entire city’s phone system tapped to listen in.” Hoseok told you helping you stand up on your shaky legs only for him to pick you up like a koala and to have you cling to him for dear life.

“Did you kill them? Because if you didn’t I will.” You mumbled looking at the six others who followed behind Hoseok as he walked with you in his arms to the bedroom. They all let out a simultaneous chuckle and you could feel the warmth re-enter your body at the sound. These were the men you loved and lived for. “We did baby, don’t worry.” Taehyung told you with his signature boxy smile as if you weren’t just talking about murder making you giggle.

Hoseok laid you on the bed softly and kept you in his embrace as the others changed and showered before handing you to Jin who kissed all over your face as he helped you shower and relax by massaging you with the bath oils and soap.

After everyone was cleaned and dressed you were tucked into bed between all of your lovers but sandwiched between Jungkook and Jimin. You were in the bed that would no longer be empty when you woke up for went to sleep because you’d have your lovers right beside you for the rest of your life. And you couldn’t be happier at the thought of that.

“What do you say about getting married?”

-

...I’m smelling an epilogue or part two if requested 😏 maybe some brief baby making on their honeymoon?

[xsugarysweetsx]

Mafia Yoongi x Reader 7

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 6 1/2. 7. 8

Note: I’m sorry for the late update, schools been a bit busy this week

It was date night. Something you and Yoongi hadn’t had for a while. Celest was 9 months old now and most of your attention was for her. Yoongi was busy with the mafia more than usual now. So when he said he would be taking you out tonight a bright smile came to to your face. You had gotten dressed that night in your best fitted dresss and light make up. The boys had agreed to babysit Celest while you were out for the night.

“Numbers are on the fridge, food is in the fridge, um when she looks sleepy please put her down to sleep or she’ll be super cranky-“

“We’ll be just fine Noona ho enjoy your date night” said Jimin as he held Celest. Yoongi came behind your and rested a hand on the small of your back

“I trusting you guys with my daughter. So no girls over, no cursing, and if she has to be changed tell one of the maids. If she’s even a little cranky when I get back you’re all gonna get it” he said with a glare to the boys as he went to Celest.

He kissed her cheek “daddy will be home soon babygirl” he kissed a few more time on her head. You then did the same before you turned and left. Getting in the car you wave goodbye and Yoongi drives off.

“Well let’s go watch some Disney movies boys!” Said Hobi taking Celest to the living room. Hobi may or may not be Celest’s favorite uncle.

AT THE RESTAURANT

Yoongi had reserved a table at a high end restaurant that looked like a glass of water would cost $10. He got you a private area where you two would have privacy aside from the waiter. The seat was like a booth for you both, as you waited for the food you both just talked and enjoyed each other’s company.

“Yoongi this is all amazing but this must have cost you a fortune” you said leaning against his shoulder.

“For you, no price is too high” you both chuckled “...I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately. I haven’t spent much time with you or Celest.”

“It’s fine Yoongi i know you’re busy and can’t also just hang out” you took a sip of your wine. Putting your glass down, Yoongi laid a kiss your shoulder as his hands started to feel up your body. He got to your stomach and that’s when you gently pushed his hands away.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”he asked in a soft tone “am I getting too touchy?” Truth was after Celest your body wasn’t exactly the same. The belly went down and your were healed already. You just didn’t have the body you used to before your pregnancy. You didn’t feel like you were still beautiful physically.

“No it’s not that”

“Talk yo me babe, what is it?” He said pulling your closer

You sighed and explained “It’s just that...after having Celest my body hasn’t really been the same. I lost some weight but it’s kinda just sitting there. My arms and thighs are bigger. I can’t fit into my old jeans and well....I’m scared that you won’t find my body attractive anymore.” You said lowering your head.

“Oh princess,” he said gently raising your chin so you’d look at him “you can’t imagine how much more beautiful you became after our baby. I watched you carry our baby and it was just...indescribable. You gave me a beautiful gift to add to our lives. And as for your body” he said biting his lip “with just one look, I’m gone. You’re beautiful, smart, kind, and just so sexy” he said laying a kiss to your nose. The food came and as you were going to begin Yoongi kept talking taking small portions of food.

“...that’s kinda why I brought you out tonight. My life used to be so dark, and pointless. I didn’t care wether I lived or died. Then I met you. You were that shy, nervous girl I met while on a job. Had to run into your job and hide behind your counter if I didn’t want to die in the spot. After I left I could get you out of my head” he giggled

“Awh Yoongi,” he interrupt before you could finish

“Y/N everyday i fall more in love with you and you gave me something that just made my life better. You and Celest are my entire life. But I don’t think I did this in the right order so I want to make it right. You deserve the world and I’ll give it to you.” He got out of the booth and next to you. He got down on one knee and pulled out a small black box.

Was this actually happening?! Oh god, it was!

“Y/F/N, will you fo me the honor and become my wife and make me even happier than I am right now?” He opens the box to reveale an extravagant diamond ring. It wasn’t too small or over exaggerated, it was beautiful.

You started to tear up but you didn’t trust your voice so you nodded quickly. Standing up you wrap your arms around his neck. He kissed you passionately before slipping the ring on your finger. He wiped the tears from your cheeks

“I love you so much princess”

“And I love you”

TIME SKIP

You both got back home with the biggest smiles on your faces. You were soon going to be Mrs. Min. You unlock the door and walk into you baby awake with her toys as her uncles were fast asleep around her on the floor. You walk over to her and pick her up.

“Hey cel did you tire your uncles out?” You said laying a kiss to her cheek. She then turned her small head to look at Yoongi. Reaching out for him she said

“B-ba...ba ba” she said while making grabby hands. Yoongi chuckled walking over to her giving her his gummy smile. He took her form your grasp and lifted her in the air

“That’s right princess Baba is home” he brought her down and kissed head. While you were trying to wake up the boys you realized one was missing.

“Wait where’s Koo-“ before you could say his name there went a loud moan from somewhere in the house. He slowly gave you Celest back and walked upstairs. Whenever he went silent you knew it couldn’t end well. From upstairs you heard

“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT GIRLS OVER WHILE MY DAUGHTER IS HERE?!”

“YOongs w-Wait come on-aah” he screeched was something was throw at him. Coming down the stairs was the girl he had over. She gave you an apologetic look as she went out the door. Next came Kookie to the door and said

“C-call me!” Yoongi came and rested his hand on you waist

“Horny kids” he says glaring at the young member.

“Hey im not that young!” Just then the rest of the boys had gotten up and started to congratulate you both on the engagement.

“We’re all happy for you both.” Said Jin you smiled at him and wished them all a good night as they left. Yawning Celest caused you to yawn as well. He put his hand on the small of your back

“Come on let’s go to bed, Mrs.Min”

“I think I’d like that Mr.Min”

I’ve also made a Rin Okumura x Reader if you like anime here’s the link!

Rules for requests here! (Box is open )

Thank you all for reading ❤️

[kangyunas]

⁚ ⁛  oh my god ! you can’t believe who i just saw. it was  kang yuna !  they really resemble  seo soojin , don’t they ?  i heard they started their career about  one year ago  as the  main dancer + lead rapper + vocalist  in  v-nyx , but it sure seems longer, doesn’t it ?  they always seem so  optimistic ,  elegant  +  selfless  in interviews and to their fans, but their latest scandal made them sound like  timid ,  sensitive  + cautious … oh well, must’ve been the bad lighting. did you know they came all the way from  seoul ,  south korea  to new york city ?  it was really brave of them to sacrifice so much. you think they’re survive the spotlight ? 「+ seo soojin 」

god so i’m sleep deprived and idk what i’m abt to write so let’s see how many tws i can avoid adding. apparently , sleep deprived me is good at avoiding tws so that’s cool.

 —   𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐.

on march 9th, 1998, kang yuna was born and raised in seongbuk-dong, seoul.

if the neighborhood wasn’t enough to tip one off, the kangs were well-off; her father having been the ceo of the family business in and around medical equipment while her mother was off signing paperbacks for her avid readers.

— quite a happy  little  family, which she pointed out time and time again to her parents soon after she learned how to walk and talk. and sing and dance, as they soon realized.

and who were they to ignore their precious little girl’s requests ?

(  ... ok, so they already planned on having another child but it made her much happier to think that she convinced her parents for a sibling  )

but by the time she was on her way to english preschool, she doted on her younger sister; it seemed endearing to those outside of the household, but beyond the surface, was an unfortunate side effect of two hard-working people that were too busy to come home and have dinner with their children.

only when she turned nine did she realize  why  she saw less and less of her parents.

as it turned out, her mother had an affair with one of her publishers and she’d taken advantage of yuna’s pleas for a sibling as a cover around the time.

her father found out, over the years, due to how much their youngest  didn’t  look like him — and more like that one publisher.

long story short, the teen lost her mother and sister as she got back home from school, leaving bare rooms and sour memories, their belongings all gone.

the news was publicized almost immediately and she and her father had to deal with the aftermath. bright flashes, handheld mics, and condescending tones became their norm for a little while.

from then, she saw her father even less... those early morning flights, late night meetings, or long business lunches really holding him captive. other than the times he’d try to show her the ropes of running the company, she saw the man maybe twice a week if she was lucky.

she quickly learned how to take care of herself without the help of their staff.

doing a lot of the house chores by her lonesome, it offered her some peace of mind. for whatever reason, her father took that as a sign that she was preparing to be a housewife.

arranged to be engaged to a business partner’s son by the age of sixteen, yuna tried her hardest to get out of it.

the most rebellious and impulsive thing she did was sneaking out to go to an open audition after being cast by a company scout at a talent show.

her father refused to let her become a trainee for two years, for obvious reasons, but yuna was adamant and in the end, he let her go.

(  suddeN i know i’m sorry i didn’t know how to get here without taking another 3pg essay to explain as;dlkf  )

she trained hard as a main dancer for a couple of years before she found her girls.

though she was very shy in meeting and training with them, she immediately found a safe place in their group. in their little family.

tbc.

    —   𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚.

vvvvvv timid, even though she was raised to be a businesswoman

performing on the stage and in front of the cameras is a bit of a different story

but incredibly shy

will try to get a smile on your face, nonetheless

wears her heart on her sleeve tbh, she can’t tell a lie without her eyes getting glassy

the Mom Friend™

she’s used to taking care of the others honestly

no matter how much of a mess they make

probs cuts up apples and orange and peels grapes for snacks

and makes sure they eat something for breakfast

also packs the girls’ lunches when they have indv schedules

a pure bean

    —   𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔. 𝒕𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕.

once agaiN, this is basically soojin w a few exaggerations here and there

has a black belt in taekwondo for some reason probs so she can kick my ass

speaks english fluently bc she went to those fancy pants schools all her life

hates being called a chaebol / doesn’t want the attention that comes of it

loves cherries and avocados but like,,,,,,, not together

volunteers at the local animal shelter when she has time

could own a tesla but she probs has a minivan or a hatchback bc she a soccer mom

may look like she knows what she’s doing but is in a perpetual state of confusion

yuna at all times: ???¿¿?¿??

connections??????? haven’t thought of them yet but am always down to brainstorm but it’s like 3am and i’m supposed to be up at 8am goD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but as always, IMs are always open so pls come and plot with me and my bean ~

[parklevi]

hi friends and acquaintances im ani and this is my child levi! ive tried to rewrite his bio to make it more compact but i feel ive failed... anyways if u knew him from before ive updated it a little bit so maybe skim over it if u wanna find out abt that and as always please come plot w me? im never above begging just fyi

homophobia tw, drugs tw, violence tw, death tw

k so levi park was born may 6 to a beautiful korean family that had been living in america for a couple of years now. his older brother isaac is three years older and was always destined for greatness. levi was always... backup.

levi’s dad is a big name astrophysicist who got a tenure position in a big university in new york, and since before levi can remember, his dad’s biggest concern was his legacy. how his kids would follow on his footsteps and make sure their family was remembered as a whole unit of geniuses. this was..... a bit of a burden.

at first isaac seemed the most likely candidate to achieve this, getting straight a’s and being wildly interested in what his dad did, but as he entered his teenage years, he started going stray. pressure was then slowly diverted towards levi once it became clear that it was too late to get isaac back on the good path if he was to make it into a good university.

problem was levi wasn’t just getting pressured by his father to be a perfect student while getting pressured by his mother to be a perfect man so he could bring her the perfect daughter in law, he was also constantly under the influence of isaac who kept teasing him about him being a suck up. as much as levi wanted to make his brother happy and proud, he also wanted his parents to stop fighting and yelling and crying. especially, he wanted them to stop yelling at isaac, because he’d seen what that did — isaac could get angry easily, and he would get very, very angry. tables had been broken, glasses smashed. isaac’s knuckles were often bruised when he came back after storming out, and no one wanted to ask why.

homophobia tw, violence tw || this is literally getting longer than before so lets just get to it! sixteen year old levi eventually realized much to his dismay that he was bi. he figured this out one night while at a club, and his realization came in the form of one of his brother’s friends kissing him in the line for the bathroom. he also realized this was going to be a very heavy burden, and this realization came in the form of his brother getting very, very angry at the sight. the friend was in the hospital, his brother did community service, levi had a black eye and a broken nose, and the family dynamics switched again. suddenly isaac was the good kid who had tried to save his brother, levi the stray sheep. still, levi was the only hope they had academically, so his mom tried to fix things. it was a long summer at a very nice camp that didn’t do much for levi’s sexuality, but did quite a lot of damage for his self esteem.

drugs tw || college has been messy. levi isn’t sure who he is or what he wants, seeing everything still through the lens of what will make his family happier. he’s been through fuckboy phases, partying phases, locked in his room studying while on adderall for weeks phases.

death tw || last month, levi’s dad passed away after being sick for a very long time. it changed things, but levi isn’t quite sure how just yet. to get his mom to let him come home to see him while he was in the hospital, levi had to make up some lies about him getting over everything she thought was wrong in him, but at least he got to be there and say goodybe. his final conversations with his dad were, as always, about work, but now that it’s been a couple weeks and levi’s finally back in college after taking some time off, he’s starting to wonder if this is about him, or about his father’s legacy, and if it even matters that he figures that out when the world is clearly going crazy around him, app and all that. 

wcs are literally.... everything. he’s been gone a while but give him friends? he could use a ride or die always, party friends that never talk about anything serious, party friends that only hang out while extremely high and only talk about very serious things. fuckbuddies, a couple of exes for sure. distant cousins. i dont know, throw it all at me and ill be here with open arms for u!

[marvelsior]

five times kissed

MY FAVORITE MEME || always accepting! || @sensesdialed​

The first time was Peter’s 18th birthday, to the minute. Gwen had been on patrol, his gift in her backpack, until her watch alerted her that it was time to start swinging to the Parker apartment. Within the hour, Gwen was knocking on the boy’s window once her watch alerted her that it was officially Peter’s birthday. She was greeted with that grin she would always remember–one that this Peter and her Peter would forever share. Peter Parker had made it past 17 in this universe, and it made her happy and sad all at once. Her Peter would never make it to 18, he’s been gone for years. 

Gwen sees the welcome packet for Peter’s college on his desk, the Spiderwoman removing her mask and smiling as Peter opened the window and let her in. “Excited for school?” she asked, gesturing to the desk’s contents as he grinned. “Of course! Y’know, you didn’t have to come here Gwen, it’s late! Aren’t you tired?!” Peter asked, brown eyes shining with concern as she waved him off and pulled her backpack off her shoulders to retrieve his gift. “I was out already on patrol, but I would rather die than miss my best friend’s birthday! I need to be the first to give you a present, it’s my duty as a best friend. Besides Ned, of course.”

Peter’s face lit up at her words, the Spiderwoman pulling out the wrapped package and handing it over to him with a smile. “Happy Birthday Petey,” she murmured, dark eyes watching him gently pull off the paper, only for his eyes to widen and immediately look to her. A camera. One she knew would be great for all sorts of shots–and vlogging as well. “How–?”

“You mentioned it once. In both universes,” Gwen answered, avoiding his gaze only for a minute or two as she zipped up her bag and placed it back on her back. Her heart ached only slightly, the more time she had spent with Peter over this last year of being in this universe made it hurt less and less. Honestly, it would always hurt at least a little, but she’d never been happier with the way her friends and family were all still here-in some form, at least. She takes a few strides to his side, turning the box over in his hands and pointing out specifications, showing him how this was both for photography and can also be for video, and that her mom bought some extra batteries for it, they’re in the box. She blinked and there were arms around her, Peter’s face in her shoulder thanking her as she wrapped her own arms around his waist and kept him close. “You’re welcome Pete…” 

Soon she’s on her way back to patrol, jumping over the railing as sticky feet keep her attached to the side of the building facing him as she placed her mask over the top half of her face, her grin still showing as she leaned up so she was eye-level with him. “Coney Island tomorrow?” she asked, and Peter agreed, those brown eyes shining bright in the city lights around them. Gwen Stacy had always loved Peter Parker. With every fiber of her being, she did. Unfortunately, in her universe it decided that wasn’t meant to be….and she didn’t realize just how much she loved him until he was gone. Here? Here she had a second chance to be the best friend her Peter deserved; to protect him. Now here he was, eighteen years old, going off to college in two months. He made it. Both Spider warriors hadn’t realized just how long they’d been quietly staring at each other until Gwen’s watch went off again, startling her enough to almost lose her grip on the railing–prompting Peter to flail to try and catch her–but she righted herself in time for the two of them to be inches away. She’s not sure what came over her, but moments later she leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his. She lingered for a moment or two, pulling away and very happy that her mask covered most of her face as she pulled it down and sputtered out. “Sorry, I shouldn’t-couldn’t–I’ll see you tomorrow!” and swung away. Shit. Gwen you’re an idiot what the fuck.

What she didn’t expect, was the blur of red and blue following after her moments later.

The second time was a time after Peter’s birthday, after Coney Island, after the night of Peter’s birthday where Spiderman followed Spiderwoman until he caught up–many more kisses happened between then and this time. It was Peter’s sophomore year of college, and he’d told Gwen on multiple occasions how the dorms were miserable. Flash was always there. How Flash and Peter ended up at the same school was beyond them, but it was ridiculous how the bully never took a hint; or grew up. Fucking Flash. Gwen had appeared at Peter’s dorm the night before; the three of them (Gwen, Peter and Ned) had a movie night with a blanket fort and fell asleep on the floor. The next morning she found herself in Peter’s bed with a note explaining he went to class, he’d be back in a few hours. Ned was gone for most the morning and he came back around 10am. 15 Minutes later she heard the familiar sound of Flash antagonizing someone–her Spidey sense alerted her that it was Peter moments before she heard a body hit the door. 

Gwen signaled for Ned to stay where he was, slowly creeping to the door and opening it a crack to see Peter struggle to his feet, wiping away some blood on his lip before he faced Flash again. Gwen was fortunate to not have had to deal with Flash directly, Peter had known how she didn’t want the high school to know she was here. She wasn’t their Gwen, she was too old for high school so it wasn’t like she could ‘come back’. Peter had protected her by keeping her existence a secret from their peers, just as apparently he was protecting her now. Flash was saying something about Peter being weak, about how it was his fault Gwen was dead because she went up there to meet him. Both Gwen and Peter froze on their respective sides of the door, by now Peter sensed Gwen watching and moved so he was between Flash and where she was. From there, Flash explained what he’d done–he was the one who sent the Gwen in this universe to that place. He wrote it and signed it from Peter, so Gwen would get ‘stood up’ by the boy she actually liked, just so Flash could make his move on her…but she died instead.

Gwen could feel the sorrow bubbling up in Peter’s chest, brown eyes watching his fingers twitch-wanting so badly to turn into a fist but Peter’s too good for that. Too pure. The last 5 years, Peter had beaten himself up about Gwen’s death. From 14 to 19 years old he believed it was all his fault–just as Gwen had felt these last 7 years with her Peter. Eventually, the Spiderwoman had enough and threw open the door, prompting Flash to turn white as a sheet and back away as if she was a fire coming straight for him. “G-Gwen?!” She felt Peter’s gaze on her, sensed him reaching out for her, and she placed her hand in his awaiting one before she pulled him against her, free hand gently wiping away some blood from his lip. She felt Peter instantly deflate in her grasp, just as she always did when she was angry and he was there, Now Gwen was angry. Peter had put up with SO much abuse at the hands of Flash; now this madness had to end. “For the record, Flash Thompson?” Gwen’s voice was smooth as silk, but her gaze and the edge of her tone was icy as the frozen tundra as she turned to face the cowering teen before her. “I would rather die than be with you. Fuck. Off.” Flash took the hint and fled the scene, Gwen turning her attention back to her injured boyfriend as Peter’s forehead leaned against hers. 

“He’s gonna tell everyone, you know…” he pointed out, prompting a shrug from Gwen. “Let ‘im. I don’t care anymore,” she answered, cupping his face in her hands and pressing a slow kiss to his lips, which was eagerly reciprocated by her spider-love. Two seconds later, there’s Ned; wrapping both of them in a tight embrace, exclaiming “THAT WAS SO BADASS, GO GWEN!”

The third time was after Gwen had been accepted into the Masters program, the two of them moving into a dorm/apartment on campus together for Pete’s second half of Sophomore year and Gwen’s first semester in her Masters program. Both of them on either side of Gwen’s bed, feet touching as they both kept taking notes and highlighting things they would need later. It had been hours, and Gwen’s eyes were starting to hurt. Maybe she should take a break. Peter gets up and stretches, Gwen’s gaze moving from her book to her boyfriend as he did so–she never got tired of being around him. She figured he was on his way to the bathroom, or the kitchen to get a snack, but moments later she was greeted with Peter inches from her face and placing a hand over her book.

“Hi,” she chuckled as she turned to face him, a sleepy smile across Peter’s features as he cups her cheeks and pulls her in for a kiss, prompting the elder spider warrior to run her fingers through brown curls. Free hand closes her book before she shifts so he’s standing between her legs and she’s sitting on the side of the bed, their kiss only breaking when they need air. “Time for a break,” Peter breathed, smiling when Gwen leaned in for another quick kiss. “Alright, alright. You know it’s bad when you are the one telling me we need to take a breather.” 

The fourth time was at both their graduations. Each major had a separate ceremony based off which ‘college’ your major was sorted into. First was Peter’s, then Gwen’s, then The Parkers and The Stacys threw the two a graduation party–one that Tony insisted he pay for and hold at Avengers Compound. Either way, it was just madness, and after they cut the cake the two spider warriors fled the large room where everyone was gathered with their desserts and hid in one of the nearby living rooms. Their senses were going a little haywire with the amount of noise and people in the room, they just needed a few minutes to themselves. 

Gwen was about halfway through her cake when she leaned into Peter’s shoulder and pressed a quick kiss to his neck. “I’m proud of you Petey,” she whispered, looking up at him as Peter grinned. “I’m proud of you two Gwendy.” Honestly, years ago she hated ‘Gwendy’, but it grew on her–but only if Peter was the one to call her that. 

The next kiss that followed was soft, sweet, just like Peter himself. Honestly Gwen wasn’t sure what she did to deserve him. She’d been so hardened by the world when she came to this universe, and now? Now she had more to live for. She had both her parents (father from this universe, mother that birthed and raised her), Uncle Ben and Aunt May (the former from her universe, the latter from this one), Mary Jane (her universe) and now Peter. Among so many others she’d grown to know and love over the years. Soon the two of them are stretched out on the couch in the kiss, Peter hovering above her as her hand keeps him anchored by the back of the neck. The kiss was still so soft, and she loved every second of it. She loved him more than anything, more than life itself. These last few years opened her eyes to a love she never knew she could feel, and it had almost completely eradicated the pain she felt when she first came here. Breaking away for air, Gwen stroked dark curls away from his face gently as Peter playfully flopped on top of her, arms wrapping around her waist as she chokes out a laugh; a little winded from pure muscle landing on her. 

“Thank you, Petey…” she murmurs a few minutes later, fingers playing with dark curls as he looks up at her. “For what?” he asked, those beautiful eyes locking onto hers as she smiled. “For loving me.”

Spiderman smiled once more, moving so he’s hovering above her once more, pressing his lips to hers in a deep, loving kiss before he speaks again. “Always, Gwendy. Always and forever.”

The fifth time was after a mission had gone wrong. Stark and the other male members of the Avengers had disappeared for days, only to reappear for Carol and a few others to bring them home. Gwen had been stationed at the Compound; the female Avengers going out to look for them in shifts. One day in the city, one day back at the compound. Not even the X-Men could find them with Cerebro. 

Today Gwen was pacing the living room, Natasha anxiously toying with her multiple weapons spread out across the coffee table before both spiders heard the Quinjet land in the hangar. It was early. Gwen bolted for the hangar, Natasha on her heels, and she arrived in time to see a disheveled mop of brown curls appear at the top of the ramp, blue and red suit filled with holes and covered in dirt, a hand gripping his opposite upper arm in pain, but otherwise alive. “Petey…” she breathed, eyes watering as he looked up and saw her.

Both spider warriors stumbled towards each other-Peter’s clumsiness from his horrific experience and Gwen’s from the shock of seeing him again-just for lips to crash together. Gwen’s fingers instantly tangled in soft hair, strong arms looping beneath her legs after she launched herself into him, legs wrapping around his waist to keep herself upright. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” he breathed against her lips, Gwen pressing several heated kisses there before breaking away and peppering multiple all over his face before she wrapped arms tight around his neck, resting her chin atop his head. 

“I thought I lost you again…” She whispered, feeling Peter press a soft kiss to her neck before burying his face there. 

“Gonna take a lot more than that to kill me Gwendy. Promise.” 

“I’m holding you to that…” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[the-rwby-headcanons]

Ozpin & Oscar Headcanons

To be honest some of these are kinda shitposty so be warned

•When Oscar first started hearing Ozpin he legit thought that it was his late father trying to talk to him

•He cried so much that Ozpin felt really bad that he sounded like his dad

•Ozpin eventually told Oscar who he was and thats why he was angry after

•On their journey before meeting up with Qrow and the rest, Ozpin would always be making sure Oscar knew basic things about being a Hunter

• "Whats the name of the school i came from?" 'Beacon.' "Whats the name of the monsters we fight?" 'Grimm.'

•It would go on for hours

•People though Oscar was schizophrenic

•When they met Qrow Oscar was so shy that Ozpin took over laughing his ass off

•O-Oscar, hes just a dusty old crow! Not a freaking Grimm under your bed!"

•Qrow found this shit hilarious and tries to intimidate him just for fun

•After Oscar almost shit his pants Qrow finally took to see the kids

•Oscar almost had a heart attack, that girl in red was stunning

•Ozpin automatically went full on "THIS IS MY GRAND BABY SO STAY AWAY!" Mode

•Cue Oscar being a complete blushing mess for about three years.

•Qrow and Ozpin figured out he had a crush on Ruby, the intimidation went MAX MODE

•Ozpin would make him train twice as hard if he even thought of Ruby in a certain way

•Qrow would glare at him and try to make his life hell

•Ren and Jaune pitty the poor boy, so they usually let him stay with them

•Ruby is super affectionate but she doesn't even notice so cue hugs all the time, kisses on the cheek good night, piggy back rides, hand holding, she does it with everyone but man is Oscar enjoying it

•Oscar has little to no game so finally Ozpin comes in to help this poor boy get the girl

•"Id rather her be with you over another boy so heres my blessing. But if you hurt her i will constantly scream in here till you die."

•"YES SIR!"

•Ozpin flirting for this boy is amazing to watch

•Ozpin has WAY TOO MUCH GAME

•Damn he even got Qrow, Yang and Nora blushing

•One time Qrow got his knees and begged them to "Teach him their ways"

•Ever since Ozpin and Oscar were together they prefer to be called They Them

•Ozpin cant cook so he leaves that up to Oscar

•Oscar actually wanted to learn about history so Ozpin gladly helps

•Oscar has frequent nightmares so Ozpin sings to him in his head to calm him down

•If that doesn't work, he'll tell him stories

•Ever since he found out Ozpin would eventually disappear, he started to find ways to make him a body so they could seperate and live their lives together

•Ozpin called him insane

•"I know. "

•Ruby helps in this secret project since shes very smart

•Oscar knows Alchemy and Ruby helps him find a way to bring Ozpin back

��Ozpin cried inside cause he didnt have to do this but he's trying and he doesnt know what else to do

•Oscar figures out 'Equivalent Exchange'

•But how do you exchange something for someone millions of years old?

•'...RUBY I FIGURED IT OUT!"

•Cue Ruby falling down a bunch of Stairs

•"I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO BRING OZPIN BACK! AND PENNY AND PHYRAA!"

•Ruby sobbing onto Oscar and him crying happily

•Ozpin is shocked, but hes crying too

•"Ruby, when we fight Salem, before we give the last blow ill exchange her for our friends."

•....WHAT!?

•Ruby starts to freak out and Oscar has to calm her down

•"Ruby, Salem is older than Ozpin by about a thousand years or so, we have Ozpins age so we take that for him and then we have a thousand left, with that thousand we can bring back penny and Phyrra!"

•Ruby starts to sob and Oscar hugs her again

•"W-What if i could bring back my mom?"

•Its silent, but Oscar nods "We'll try."

•To complete the exchange, they need something from each person they try to bring back. Jaune gives them the armor made from Phyrras stuff, Ruby grabs Pennys Bow that she grabbed from the arena, and Qrow offers Summers locket. They don't have anything for Ozpin so Oscar goes to Beacon trying to find something

•Glynda finds him, and she has a gut feeling who he is, and hands him Ozpins Glasses

•Oscar starts to cry and he doesn't know why

•It turns out that was Ozpins tears

•Cue the final battle with Salem and Oscar is there ready with a transmutation circle

•"OSCAR NOW!"

•As Salem falls onto the circle he begins the Exchange, it isnt pretty.

•Oscar blacks out

•Ozpin, Phyrra, Penny, and Summer Rose all layed on the circle, Ruby just stands there shaking with silent tears on her face.

•Oscar went into a mini coma cause of how much Aura he used. He was out for a week

•Ruby ended up jumping into her mothers arms, shes never been happier, Qrow helps up Ozpin, Team JNPR just tackle Phyrra, and Weiss helps up Penny and hugs her

•"Im sorry i called you weird" 'Its okay'

•Ruby Screams and runs over to Oscars body scared if hes dead

•She sighs in relief, he has a pulse

•They rush him to a hospital and he stays there for a week

•When Oscar first opens his eyes, he sees Ozpin

•He starts to cry, and hugs him for dear life

•Ozpin ends up laying in the bed with him just hugging him

•Ozpin hasnt left his side till he left the hospital

•Ruby walked in on the cutest moment in her life "Ozpin singing to Oscar, while holding him"

•She fangirled way to hard

•Once he left the Hospital he kissed Ruby. In front of her whole family. No regrets.

•He ran for his life lmao

•"I REGRET NOTHING-"

•Ozpins just laughing his ass off

•Ozpin kinda just basically adopted by the Rose - Xiao Long family

•He is now offical grandpa

Thats all for now!

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch13 A Little Offer P3

(Mak belongs to @wasted-church )

Things were going well for the most part- Another round of coughing shook his entire being as his lungs heaved and burnt from the inhale of dust that came from the old couch with each strike he gave it with the broom. Followed by more sneezing and coughing, he really should've brought something to cover his mouth to protect himself. Who knows what was on there other than dust and lots of cathair.

The chuckling behind him wasn't helping his mood either. He gave a glare over his shoulder behind him at the smiling tall cat, who looked nothing but amused at the Duke's struggling.

Seam pointed a paw at the settling cloud of dust before asking," That's the second piece of furniture you're seem to have a problem with. Are you sure I can't just lend a hand in that? "

"Nay! You've helped quite enough." He turned back to the old couch and raised the broom back over his head. It came down onto the couch with a thump sound and a smaller amount of dust than the first hundred wacks it or the old armchair received.

Seam chuckled again at the worm from the armchair. He had to admit, when Rouxls set his mind on something, he was determined to get it done the first time round. He absolutely refused any help offered except for when Seam offered to teleport some of the more larger and dirtier pieces of furniture outside so Rouxls didnt have to worry over trying to manhandle them himself out the door. But down right refused any help with the dusting or polishing of any of them. Seam rose a brow at the thought. Rouxls still thumping away at the couch. Did the Duke always behaved like this or was it only when he wanted something done and over with? Jevil had spoken of Rouxls's more...eccentric and stressful side. Came with being the Royal Duke to three kings and father of one he guessed, but he only caught a glimpse of that side through how stubborn the worm man was and when he was violently digging in the ground. Eck! The mere thought of eating insects made him gag. How could one even do that was beyond him, but that of course wasn't any of his business. What was his business was winning this little game of Jevil's. He usually didn't care for games much, but what was one last game between old friends?

A grunt of approval brought him out of his train of thought and back to Rouxls, who was giving the couch a satisfied look, but then looked down to himself and grimaced at the sight of dust covering his body and the amount of dust covering the black dirt at his feet.

"You've been at this for almost the entire day now. Why not take a break? You look like you could use a cup of tea for your troubles."

Rouxls answer was to huff and proudly not give into the temptation of a small break. "NAY! Unlike thou-" He turned around with the broom slung over one shoulder and his free hand on his hip. "-I haveth nay time to lounge about and waitest for thine next darkner with bits to buyest."

"Actually things have been rather quiet lately." A paw scratched his face. "Hmm. I guess it has something to do with this ball Jevil has been speaking of." Rouxls rolled his eyes with a groan at the mention of it to which Seam caught. "I take it you aren't one for holidays?"

"Holidays are fine. It's thee lunatics that comest with it them."

"Oh? Jevil may have some wild habits, but as long as he doesn't drink hell be perfectly fine."

"That tis not what worries me."

Before Seam could ask what he meant the worm walked off towards the entrace to the Sheap dusting himself along the way. Seam watched after him for a moment before getting up to follow the man. Rouxls had done a quick and great job of the sheap's inside.Seemed nothing escaped the worm's cleanful wrath. He had to admit he was impressed at his energy, he couldn't remember the last time his shop had been this spotless. The flap of the sheap flopped open and he poked his head inside just as Rouxls was picking up the things he brought with him.

"Oh. Are you leaving now? "

"I amst moving mine things so I may leaveth when Im finished with thine last few bits before that Jevil comeths back."

"Oh. I see.....May I ask a question if you don't mind of course?"

"What tis it? I can't spareth much time."

"Why do you not like Jevil?"

Rouxls froze. Completely stopping what he was doing. Seam just stood there and waited for an answer, after a while he tilted his head in curiousity at the worm's sudden mimicking of a statue. Eventually he slightly tilted his head towards him and pushed out a question of his own in a whisper.

"W-...And w-why do you w-wantest to know?"

To that Seam just shrugged. "Just curious. Its none of my business, but the way you see him and the way he sees you seems to be very different. He really fell head over tails for you. Hehe."

More silence filled the room as the two still stared at each other but Rouxls quickly turned his attention back to his things quickly picking everything back up. Seam curiously hummed to himself. It certainly seemed the duke wasn't as attached to Jevil as the imp was to him, but a soulmate was a soul mate so..What exactly was the problem? Knowing the answer to that question would help him move one step closer to the checkmate.

"Do you really hate him that much-?"

"I don't hate him."

He hummed at Rouxls's answer as the worm still didn't look at him. "Well then why not give him more of a chance? Is there something you don't like about him?"

He turned to the cat with a suspicious glance. "Thou art asking alot of questions."

He shrugged again. "You can't really blame me from what I've seen. It's all very peculiar if you ask me."

The worm sighed. " Tis not him. Mine own personal feelings art a puzzle yet unsolved."

"Hehe. So they are what Jevil calls a chaotic mess."

And for once the worm chuckled. His laugh was...nice. A soft warm chuckle that he didn't know could actually come from the stuck up duke. Seam could feel his soul throb a couple times at the smiling chuckling face of the worm man. The few strands of sparkling white hair clinging to his tired face. He turned back to the cat who's eye had slightly widened from the warm sight, a small smile on his face.

"I supposeth do....Why doth thou likest him?"

He shrugged yet again. "Jevil was always a wild card and handful. But I've never met a more happier person. And he makes everyone laugh."

"Thine jester does entertain easily," Rouxls admitted.

"Which reminds me. Why did you say you dreaded him on the holidays?," Seam asked pointing out the previous event. Rouxls suddenly got a look of almost shock over before groaning and reaching a hand up to rub his face. "I take it you've seen him drunk?"

"Nay...Im expecting him to asketh mineself to thine ball."

Seams ears perked up. "You don't sound very excited about that?"

"I just....*sigh* I amst planning on taking careth of Lancer once I gettest back. And knowing how closeth that imp likest to get..." He shivered. "I amst nay ready for such physical activities."

" Oh. I see.....Then it'll be quite the trouble to keep both Jevil and the prince-..er...Young king in check."

"Not to mention someone hast to makest sure nothing goes wrong."

"I see."

Another moment of silence passed as Rouxls continued to pick up his things and Seam watched with a thoughtful expression.

"....I suppose you'll be very busy there."

Rouxls sighed. "Most definitely."

"And... IF you had some help to watch out for Jevil's shenanigans?"

He gave a dry chuckle. "That wouldst best very helpful, but who in thou's rightest mind wouldst offer to wrangle the likes of Jevil?"

Seam's smile became a tad bit wider as he casuslly answered. "Well....I don't suupose you'd be willing to finally accept my offer to help finally?"

Rouxls had to stop and do a double take at the smiling cat. He could see the wheels turning in his head as he processed what the cat had said. "Art thou...seriously offering to keepest him away from mineself?"

"Well I can't promise that. But I can promise to help keep an eye on him while you do other things. You can just bring me as a guest and Ill see yo myself." He smiled as he watched the worm process the offer in his head before smiling back at Seam.

"I thinkest that couldst be arranged."

"Hahaha. Then a party awaits this old cat yet again." He turned his attention to the gathered up things in his arms. "Are you finished using those already?"

Rouxls shook his head. "No. I merely have that strange hole in thine wall and fireplace to sortest out."

"Ah. I see. Then I won't stand in your way."

He smiled wider. "Thank thee. No if thou'll excuseth me-" He picked the buckle of things up into his arms. "I preferest to finish and leave."

"Of course."

The smiling duke turned to the back room of the Sheap and made his way to the back to what Seam presumed to finish what ever he had left. The old cat chuckled to himself and turned back to the exit. He supposed he should move those shelves and chairs back inside in case it rained again- A loud high pitched shriek made him jump and his fur bristle up startled. The scream was followed by a crashing noise and a stream of loud giggling.

".....Oh no."

[coloursofaparadox]

Okay I gotta talk about shit for a second because it’s been driving me insane to not be discussing this with anyone purely in the way of the whole ‘validation of existence only because we exist to others’ bullshit but w/e here we go

It’s been a couple weeks now and I’m a lot more clearheaded. A lot of things suck and a fairly decent amount of things are much better, which coincidentally happens to be one of the things that sucks. Realizing how shitty it was for a long time came fairly quickly, because that was literally all I could think about at the time? If it was terrible and it was over then that meant a terrible thing was over and that was a good thing. That got me through until the day they packed up and took their shit and moved out back to another fucking province. Few days after that too. But being in self-perpetuated denial does not help me whatsoever in the long run and eventually I had to slowly try to come to terms with what the past 3 and a half years actually was, good and bad altogether.

So I’ve been doing that. For about 2 and a half weeks now. Trying to think about it clearly while finally being in a position where it’s too late for that to have any repercussions. There’s a lot of stuff I knew, and I knew I knew, but didn’t want to think about too hard. I took shit like that into account when I did things like ‘temporarily’ break up weeks before the breaking down a door like a fuckin horror movie thing went down, but what I’m trying to figure out is how much of what I thought I knew has been me tricking myself into not seeing something for the sake of the three of us. It’s fucking sucked. Forcing myself to acknowledge times that were actually legitimately good has been fucking hard when all I do is make myself sad, and realizing I was right about putting in years of onesided effort and emotional energy that I’m never getting back has felt like I’m waking up after sleeping through some very valuable years of my life haggard and grey and I’m never getting them back.

The conclusion I’ve come to so far is. not much honestly. But what I have realized is how fucking stupid I’ve been!! The easiest bit to sort through has never been the abstract. It’s always the comparison, in this case the direct comparison between two very different people, and I am a fucking fool. I cannot believe I never let myself see it when we were all together, but I do not know for the life of me why I was so scared to see how fucking incredible she was. And this isn’t a case of post-mortem romanticization. We fit, SO much better. Looking back there was no comparison. Literally just shit like basic communication, or conversation and clicking. If we actually put the fucking effort in and at some point along the way decided to stop being scared of each other and playing it safe with the easy option (him), then I don’t know what would’ve happened. I wish I could say I knew for sure but I don’t, and there is a WORLD of incredible potential that I’ll now never fucking know. She is far too good for him. It’s been a force of will not to demonize the past 3 odd years I’ve been with him, and I will never say there wasn’t good about him, but it’s good on top of a foundation of insecurity and denial and someone who never grew up and refuses to see how it harms the people around him. He’s going to keep hurting people and dragging his way through life at an infants pace until he wakes up. And she does not deserve to be one of those people.

Realizing I’ve been devoting myself to someone I thought I had finally, after years found a kindred spirit in and being slapped in the face with the reality that I’d deluded myself has been. Not great. To say the least. It feels a lot like betrayal with a stab of burning shame and existential despair lmfao but yknow. I am not someone who makes real friends easily. I’m not praising that about myself though. Sometimes I wish I could not think about all the things that get in the way of liking people uninhibited because p much everyone else fucking doesn’t and they’re doing just fine apparently. But for me to find someone I really enjoy talking to and trust and actually prefer their companionship to loneliness does not happen often, and I am absolute shit at being lonely. I can still count on one hand the number of people I’ve found in my entire 22 years of life, and while obviously they’re not all romantic connections it still fucking hurts to lose even one of those. The very shitty Venn diagram of the general populace, people I like, people I love and trust, and people I love, trust, and somehow am also in love with is comically disproportionate and transphobia and social anxiety are not on my side for adding to the latter more than once in a blue moon. My plans for the future involve a lot of blank nothingness and stubborn refusal not to date anyone until I’m financially stable and CAN comfortably be completely single without a looming sense of dread and desperation to not be achingly lonely, which are probably not in any danger of being called into question by the appearance of a wildcard I swoon over given my fucking chances.

It would’ve been so easy to sink into a spiral of cynicism and turn on the whole world over him and I definitely did for a while, but I’m not as young as I was 5 years ago. As much as it hurts my pride and my limited (now crumbling) experience of romantic love to admit, I fucked up and I picked wrong. It’s by no means my only goal in life but. it would just. be kinda nice to know if it’s actually possible for me to find someone(s) that. are. good? and. are the kind of love that you see sometimes. not the stupid movie shit but just. people that work with each other, in multiple senses of the word. I got a fucking taste of it and now I can’t even tell if it was real or not and it’s killing me thinking about it. I want it so bad. I don’t want it for free, I want to work for it and towards it and find someone I want to work towards it with. This is not me freeloading and romanticizing some perfect ideal relationship, this is me just. wanting. people. I love doing little things for people to make them happy I love helping and giving and seeing people smile because of it and I love. just. being happy. and other people being happy. I love being genuine and I fucking would do anything for the heady experience of knowing someone else and someone else knowing you thoroughly and completely. and just existing, like that, and making eachother happy while you live your lives. There’s probably some fancy obscure word out there to describe all that but I don’t fucking know I just want. To love someone. It’s not a compulsion I won’t make shit choices just to find the wrong person to throw affection at but despite all my bullshit I genuinely. love. people. more abstractly as a whole but intensely as individuals. and i already miss it. 

i have no fucking idea where this is going any more I just have a lot of thoughts that don’t have very much ‘a good addition to a conversation’ vibe going on and like mentioned at great fucking length im generally starved for human connection okay i feed on it like a black hole lmfao. im. more myself lately though. I’ve been missing the bit of me that connects to people as a mass i think. I’m not going to say i’m happier but part of something that has always defined me as an entity of fuckin brainwaves is just doing stuff for people. not really for any reason but barring social anxiety getting in the way ive always done stuff like offered to help or go out on a limb and ask if someone’s okay or little shit like get someone the drink they always get bc they weren’t around to ask and i haven’t been more or more in the last 3 years. I’m doing it now though. I’ve missed it. A big unhealthy chunk of that relationship was we were all so immersed in cynicism and sarcasm and ‘ironic’ morbidity that just being genuinely happy and optimistic was not encouraged nearly enough. and now that im free of that i feel a lot more like me and i’m very glad to know that hasn’t gone anywhere n ill be very sure to foster that part of myself a lot more in the future

i need to go to fucking bed. tldr im happier but lonely and i loved the wrong person and im quietly losing faith that real romantic love actually exists for me at all but yknow whatever. gnight.

[artificialqueens]

Happier (Shalaska) - Chachkee

A/N: Hello! Im another first time submitter here, and I got this idea after a friend told me to listen to Happier by Ed Sheeran. I couldn’t stop associating the song with Shalaska so I wrote this out. I’m not sure if it’s as good as all the other wonderful fics here but I tried, let me know what you think. Thank you! :)

“After all that money, can we get back together?”

It was nearly one in the morning when Sharon decided to go to the local cafe shop back in Pittsburgh. She’d been mulling over what had happened with Alaska in Houston two days before and she hadn’t gotten any sleep. Right after the gig, Sharon lost all self-control and tried to confess her feelings for Alaska. After what she said on stage which she tried to pass off as jokes, Sharon couldn’t take it anymore and needed Alaska to know she meant what she said. Alaska, knowing what Sharon was about to do, stopped Sharon before she could get a word out. “Don’t Sharon, your fiancé is here.” “But-“ “Sharon, please, if it was any other situation by all means go ahead but you are engaged to someone else. Think about what you really want before you get us both in trouble.” Sharon saw the desperate look in Alaska’s eyes in the split-second before she turned away and left Sharon alone in the dressing room. In the two days that followed, Sharon had been avoiding Carl the whole time, locking herself up in their guest room and simply thinking about what it would mean to be with Alaska again. They’ve both grown so much since they separated and she knew that things would definitely be different if they tried again. They were both older, wiser and most importantly, more sober than they were back then. They’ve gotten used to the fame and the fans. She knows getting back together will be difficult and she won’t have as much privacy as she has with Carl but lately she’s been thinking how it would be so worth it just to have Alaska wrapped around her arms again; to hold her close and have her whisper “I love you, Noodles” one more time. Sharon thought back to all the times she got to spend with Alaska after they finally mended their friendship. The beginning was hard for the both of them. As Sharon spun the coffee cup she held in her hand, waiting for it to cool down, she wondered if she’d have the same relationship that she had with Alaska now if they didn’t have to spend so much time together. She was grateful that they did so many shows with each other. It was during those times that they took the steps to get closer again. When Sharon finally felt comfortable enough in their friendship, she’d always bring Alaska up and make comments about their relationship. The fans loved it and it gave her a way to let out her feelings. She knew how easy it was to let people think she was only kidding. The thing is though, she had a feeling that Alaska knew they weren’t just jokes. Alaska never participated in it, choosing instead to laugh it off and talk about something else. To any other person it would seem that it was because Alaska was over it. But Sharon knew better, she saw the way Alaska pulled herself together before she spoke. No one else could see it, but Sharon could. She knew Alaska all too well, even after all the time they spent apart. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them. Sharon took a sip of her coffee, the bitterness reminded her of Carl. She knew what she had to do if she ever wanted to get Alaska back again but she feels so bad for stringing Carl along. They were engaged for crying out loud. What was she even thinking agreeing to marry him so fast? She was with Alaska longer than she’s been with Carl and already they were planning to get married? Sometimes her old habit of sabotaging herself just wouldn’t leave her alone. And it wasn’t even that she didn’t love Carl, she did, at some point she did. But there was his excessive drinking that fueled his anger issues and their constant arguing. The situation reminded her a lot of her and Alaska’s old relationship, but this time she didn’t want to get drunk and get high all the time. She told Carl as much but he never took her seriously and kept trying to sway her back. Then there’s the mess he keeps creating on social media. She thought it was justifiable at first because of all the people telling him to fuck off so the royal couple could reunite. She let him lash out at them even though she knew it wasn’t the best idea. But it just never stopped, anytime he saw someone on twitter disagree with him, he’d fire back not caring that those people were usually underage girls. Things only got worse when screenshots of him saying horrible things about Alaska got leaked. The fans were furious and so was Sharon which resulted to them not talking for two days. How could he say such terrible things to one of the most important people in Sharon’s life? Alaska didn’t even do anything to him. But guilt seeped in- she was with Carl, not Alaska. Maybe if she didn’t gush over Alaska so much, Carl wouldn’t need to be jealous. It was her fault, she told herself. Sharon didn’t want to lose Carl then, she didn’t want to be alone. She was heartbroken when Alaska left and instead of taking her share of responsibility, she ignored it and turned to her vices. Carl was there with her, he was there to make it easier for her. With Carl she didn’t have to deal with being compared to another queen and be bombarded with dumb questions like “who’s the better queen in the relationship?” With Carl she didn’t have to exert a lot of effort to be together, she could always have him with her whenever she wanted. Back when she was with Alaska, they hardly got to spend time with each other unless they were booked together at a gig. It also helped that Carl could do her special effects make-up and help her create her costumes. But Sharon wasn’t happy. And with that, Sharon realized that she’d been taking the easy way out. For years, she’d been repressing her feelings for Alaska, calling Lasky her best friend when really all she wanted was for her to be her girlfriend with a penis again. She was too scared to take a risk, too scared to handle difficult situations. Sharon decided she’d had enough of being scared. She was the goddamned queen of Halloween and she was in love with Alaska Thunderfuck- after all this time she was still the one. She was still her soulmate. Sharon hurriedly tried to finish her coffee, she wanted to get home and finally end things with Carl. He wouldn’t be happy and she knew he’d want to fight but she was so tired of living a lie and feeling like a fraud. She had to end things with Carl and try to make it work with Alaska. If nothing else, at least she can say she tried. Sharon was about to leave the cafe when the lines of a song caught her attention. “Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain’t nobody need you like I do” This wasn’t normally the kind of song Sharon would listen to but she stayed in her seat, trying to understand the words. “I know that there’s others that deserve you, but my darling I am still in love with you.” Those words hit home with Sharon. A little dumbfounded, she sat back just taking in the rest of the song. When it finished, she took out her phone from her jeans’ pockets and looked it up. Happier, it was called. Without thinking twice, Sharon bought the song and listened to it on repeat the whole car ride home. ______________________________________________________________________ It was10 in the morning, Sharon was sitting on her rocking chair on the patio of her home. When Sharon got home earlier, Carl was waiting for her in the living room. After asking her where she’d been and why she’d been so distant, Sharon finally told him she wanted to break-up. Everything just came pouring out of her. Carl was furious but deep down he knew it was going to happen eventually. He knew Sharon’s jokes about Alaska always had something more beneath the surface. She was always bringing her up in conversations she wasn’t part of even when she wasn’t around. Somehow Sharon found a way to bring Alaska into things and their relationship apparently, was no exception. Carl didn’t see the need to fight for something he clearly couldn’t do anything about. He knew it was pointless to stay in a one-sided relationship, one where he’d always be on the losing end. So he packed his bags and left, but not without a few choice words for Sharon and Alaska, words that Sharon didn’t care to repeat. Sharon took out her phone again and texted Alaska S: i miss you Alaska didn’t reply immediately, she must be busy thought Sharon. She sat there waiting until three dots appeared on the screen. A: You have Carl. S: not anymore,,, A: what do you mean?? A: Sharon what did you do?? Sharon was typing as fast as she could. S: i broke up w him S: i couldnt do it anymore lasky,,, S: i cared about him but i care about someone else more S: can i see you? S: please? Sharon didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she saw Alaska typing again. A: oh A: I didn’t think you’d actually do it A: I’m in LA but you’re always welcome here noodles, you know that Sharon let out the breath she was holding, leaned back, and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe what was happening. She was finally getting a chance to make things right. This time she wasn’t going to mess it up. Sharon sent a quick text to Alaska telling her she’ll be in LA by nightfall. She was about to go inside when she remembered the song from earlier. She went on her instagram where she already posted a photo of her and Alaska from the Houston gig, captioning it bf4ever, trying to be coy. This time she picked out an old photo of her and Alaska that she had saved because she didn’t want to let it go. It was the two of them out of drag with Sharon sleeping on a couch, her head on Alaska’s lap. Under the photo, she wrote “I know I was happier with you.”

[survivorelara]

Episode #14: “IDK WHAT TO DO W MY IDOL IF SAM GOES ILL CRY FOR LIKE 3 YEARS BUT I WANT TO BE SAFE ;(” - Loris

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's the fricking final  FIVE!!!!!!!! i feel like an icon,,, right ok so. tea lately? im winning... like look at everyone in the final 5 rn,,, if we go back to final 8 or 9 or sumn,,, out of us who would u say would be in the final 3... me bitch duh. anyways like.. i got to play mi legacy screeeeeeeee!! AND I still have my idol and if u think im playing that on anyone else lol!! i probably will dont quote me. anyways tea final four sooooooooooooooooon. woop woop. sam has me convinced it's a final two and the winner of fic gets to remove a juror. THAT'S CUTE. i'd love to go to the end with sam i love sam. umm.. like im pretty sure id beat him the jury hates him?? they hate me?? but him morE?? i also played GOOD. doot doot! boop boop

Well, I made it to F5, and this is where things really start falling into place, if my plans are proper, I shouldn't run into any issues. Though I WOULD like to win this challenge if only because I wanna be the one with the most challenge wins at the end, just as an additional notch on my belt.

HOWEVER, I can't seem to get this damn challenge right because of how much I suck. I keep fucking it up, over and over, and it SUCKS. Especially since I keep fucking up sooner and sooner every time.

Hopefully I can get my shit together, things should go fine though so long as Roxy doesn't win immunity, or Sam for that matter since I think Ci'ere and Roxy could try to pull a fast one given how obvious it is that Loris has the idol.

Anyway, here's to it all working out somehow.

Well I won immunity, which is a good thing and the most ideal for me, as it's another challenge under my belt, and it guarantees I make F4.

Currently I'm having a hard time seeing this vote not go my way, Sam and I are both voting Roxy, and presumably Loris is too, and that's majority right there. Funnily enough Roxy was trying to get Sam to flip on me in a F4 scenario or something, which was interesting, but if anything I just feel more justified in voting her out add in that whole tie vote fiasco, and I'm ready to send her home. (I love her to death though, she's such a sweetheart, and I do feel bad voting her out, but I have my own game to think about.)

Ideally Ci'ere will end up voting out Roxy as well, and at F4 I've got two F3 deals and I think I've got reasonable odds in both. Knowing that Loris had two advantages, and just how people seem to think he's this giant threat, I feel almost that I HAVE to vote him out at F4 if the opportunity is there. I think his game is flawed, but it'll all come down to perception, and he's perceived as someone who'll win against anyone.

Alternatively Ci'ere has had a more independent game, though I think I have a stronger case than his, but I could be wrong, maybe the jury will like him more, I can't really say.

Above all else despite all my plans, I'm happy I won this challenge, and I hope I get to FTC as that's all I've ever wanted and this'll be the first time I will have done it.

https://youtu.be/hd8d17Uos6k

Sigh...

So Sam got a brilliant plan together, that could potentially take Loris out. But then Ci'ere told me he wants a F3 of him me and Roxy, which I'm not a fan of. I'd much rather just drag my goat to the end, and drive things my way.

We'll see how things go, I'm not a huge fan of this plan, but I might go along with it just because it seems fun. Regardless though this plan requires Sam to vote Loris, as I will 100% be voting Roxy. If Loris idols himself, I voted Roxy, and I didn't necessarily break blood with Loris. If Loris idols Sam, then Loris goes, and I didn't vote against him, and can hopefully pull for his vote.

So I'm still trying to bend this situation to my favor. Though I'm more in favor of just dueling Loris at F4 since that's what I was expecting. I could honestly just tell Loris to idol himself to force this vote a particular way, but honestly I think I'm in a situation that honestly it doesn't matter who's at the end so long as one of Loris or Roxy go home now, since I'll likely have to win immunity to make it to F3 anyway.

I WANT TO DIE OK SO CIEREMESSAGED ME SAYING SOMETHING LIKE WE NEED TO MAKE LORIS THINK ITS YOU AND NOW APPARENTLY KORI WANTS ME OUT At final 4 GIRL IK NOT SURPRISED ... IDK WHAT TO DO W MY IDOL IF SAM GOES ILL CRY FOR LIKE 3 YEARS BUT I WANT TO BE SAFE ;(

ok.... I don't even know how to start confessing this round. really mad I fucked up and didn't win immunity cause that would've made this vote SO much less tricky. but alas, kori is immune, and guess what, loris has the idol. as we all are aware of now. these are the 2 people I DONT want in the f3 with me, because they both can beat me, whereas I feel I can beat the other two, so that had me thinking. does this mean one of my ideal f3 will have to leave, meaning I'll lose the game?

then it hit me, the most fucked up plan I could think of. loris has been my RIDE or DIE the entire merge phase of this game. words cant even describe how much I adore the kid, but like I said if he makes it to the end of this game, he wins the whole thing. that's how well I feel he's done. definitely enough to beat me. I know loris, and he isn't a dummy. i know that if he felt he had too, he would play his idol on me, because he's aware that if I ended up leaving this round, he'd be alone at f4 with everyone else wanting him out. so I started to wonder, what if I could make him play his idol on me, then vote him out…

so I got to work. I approached both ciere and roxy first and told them that one of us 3 is going because kori is immune and loris has the idol. and if that were the case, then the other 2 left in the game couldn't win because either loris or kori would take the cake if they are both in the f4. I had to convince them that us 3 making the f4 is best for all of our games. I told them to go to loris and start completely gutting me to him, convince him that everyone else is voting me. telling loris that they feel he's too selfish to not use the idol on himself. once word got to him and he came to me about it, I immediately started saying well great man its been fun love ya dude... but I wish you the best of luck at f4 since without me youll be alone. basically hinting at him to use the idol on me

then there is kori… he needs to go next, there's no question about it. but I had to try and convince him that voting loris out now while he has the chance is in his best interest, and that we've been a f2 this whole game and if worse comes to worse I would vote with him at f4. claiming that if loris makes it, kori will be the bigger threat. I started to leak false alliances to him, to try and get him to feel some type of way that im the only one he can trust, and that me staying this round and loris leaving is our best chance at both making it to ftc, because he wants to go with me since clearly he would win against me... that's how I convinced him to hop on my insane, wild, stupid plan to tell loris im the one leaving so he can play his idol on me. then another emma happens and he goes this vote…

If this plan works out, it will be absolutely brilliant, but also hands down the most brutal thing ive done in any org I've played, hence why I'm so frenetic. I can't say this enough but ill say it once, loris does NOT DESERVE THIS AT ALL. not at all. He has been one of my absolute favorite allies ive ever had in an org, and I couldn't be happier to have met him. What I'm doing to him this vote is honestly so brutal I can't even explain how brutal it is. But I came here to win. That's why I play orgs, is to go as far as I absolutely can. And if loris makes it to f4, I don't win. Period. My best shot at winning this game is going f3 with ciere and Roxy, and all im doing is trying my best to ensure that happens so i have the best shot at winning this game. Sure this could blow up in my face and get me voted out instead, but I feel and hope ive done a pretty good job at explaining and convincing how one of those 2 will win this game if they both make f4 and that ciere and Roxy stand a way better chance against me. Here goes nothing, I came to play hard and take risks, so heres one of the biggest risks yet. I'm so so so sorry loris, I just, fucking love you god I hate orgs Why do I put myself through these.

Random thoughts featuring me, Ci’ere!: I think this plan worked a lil too well I convinced Loris to vote out Sam and not use the idol on him but if I can't vote out Loris or Kori Sam is the next best thing and a move for myself sam loris and kori have a final 3 sam told Loris about our final 3 with Kori Kori tells me that Loris has an idol and Sam also tells me that he has one moments later but Loris was planning to vote for Roxy Loris plans to vote to Roxy because he thinks that this plan to get Loris to play an idol on Sam is impossible Sam comes up with a brilliant plan to get Loris to play his idol on Sam which would need convincing by me Loris has no relationship with Roxy and Kori is trying to be this saint and doesn't wanna be in on it Roxy was originally trying to vote for me in the event that Loris played the idol on himself everyone feels closest to Sam: Loris, Kori, Roxy and maybe even me even if I don't want to be taking out Sam would be a move that I could call my own I went off on Kori because he's acting like he's superior for winning immunity and that he'll win the next one too. I'm gonna do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. I also went off on Roxy because she acted fake and sent me hearts that she was down to vote for Loris when she was already told that he had an idol I was very hangry... I had a very long talk with Loris and I was trying to convince him that I would vote for Sam. I believe it worked, but it worked just a little too well because Loris wants to now vote for Sam as well ASDFG I also accidentally slipped and told Loris "we need Loris to believe that it's you" or something of the sort. Luckily, I saved myself by scapegoating Kori and telling Loris that I acted on Kori's delusions that I would vote out Loris in a f4 situation if we were to take out Sam. This means promising Loris that I'm taking him to the end and whew gurl between Kori and Loris I'm not even sure what I'd do but Loris has played better I believe Sam tried turning all of us on each other while he'd be the middleman and have a clear shot at making it to the end with a great story. Which means Sam's relationship with Loris isn't as strong as Sammy thot ASDF Okay nvm Sam just got confirmation that Loris is idoling him OMG THIS WORKED??? I'M SHAKING Sam might've came up with the plan, but I put it into motion and convinced Loris that we were all gunning for Sam & I also got Kori to tell Loris that he was voting Sam. I spooked Loris into voting me... I'd say my acting skillz were on point for this one hehe If Loris happens to end up idoling himself and voting for me or he in fact does vote for Sam, I need a safety net and I need to make sure the next best thing is sent home. So I’m going to be voting for Sam as a precautionary measure because sis ain’t going nowhere okcurrrr.

Loris is voted out 3-1-1*

[knockoutlives]

Whatever they offer you, don’t feed the plants.

Josh: Mom just told me. congrats.

Troi: I am so proud of you Vinny! Congratulations babe! I've never been happier for you, for us!

Spencer: Congratulations Vinny! When Adam gets back from his Medical Retreat we need to go for drinks! Congrats!

Abby: Congrats big brother! I can't wait to come visit and see you on stage!

Amelia: Congratulations! I’ll see you at 2 for lunch and you can tell me all about it! Mak: Congratulations Vinny!

Kevin. MY. GOD. VINCENT ANDREW DEPOLA HOW ON EARTH DID YOU KEEP THIS HIDDEN FROM ME?!?! CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING CAST AS SEYMOUR!

Unknown Number: Congratulations!

V: thanks, who's this?

(718) 565-3489: you know who this is, we met up for drinks the other night in Queens.

(718) 565-3489 : had to get out of Manhattan to make sure your boyfriend didn't hear anything about it.

V: oh ya, thanks.

(718) 565-3489 : that's it? I'll remember that the next time we hook up, and you wanna fuck me.

Vinny sighed and looked from the phone in his gloved hands, to the city street in front of him. Scanning the empty street for anyone he could potentially know. As if even seeing them would allow the other to know who Vinny was messaging. The sender's comments made him recall the night in questions, and the corners of his lips pulled into a smile as he replied.  

V: listen, I've got some things to do today. So I'm going to have to cut this short. But, I expect to see you at my place tonight at 6. He’ll be gone for a few hours.

(718) 565-3489 : fire escape, or front door.

V: fire escape, just so you don't run into him. I don't need that

(718) 565-3489 : Your wish is my command - T

Upon sending his last message Vinny locked his phone and let out an even heavier sigh as he leaned on the concrete wall of the building he had just walked out of prior to the bombardment of Text​ message - well wishes. Pushing off of the wall Vinny began his walk down the street heading towards Times Square, and the subway. There was a slight chill in the air, causing Vinny to wrap his arms around his midsection, and pulling his leather jacket closer to his body to conserve warmth.

A smile began to tug at his lips again as he recounted the morning.

--

The day had already began to speed by, though when one wakes up at six to be out the door by seven the time just begins to fly from the second you actually leave the bed. He had left Troi in the warm blankets that morning, to make his way to the gym to beat the rush. (The treadmill he liked at his gym always seemed to be taken if he was late, even If it was by five minutes.) So arriving precisely at seven fifteen gave him enough time to get his workout, shower, and get dressed into human attire by eight. Today had been no different until he left the gym and his phone began buzzing, like a virgin's vibrator on crack.

“Hello, This is Vincent….”  

“Vinny, it's Camille! Would you be able to stop by the midtown studio space this morning?”

“Of course I can! What time?”

“Now, would be nice”

“I'm on my way, I’ll be there by nine!”

Jumping on the subway almost immediately after the phone call, Vinny had arrived at the rehearsal space to find his agent Camille in the lobby of the building looking as if she had just ran down the stairs of the familiar building from the rehearsal space on the fifth floor.

“Vinny!” The woman said with a grin as she took the boy into her arms. Camille was quite short, so she normally came up to Vinny's shoulder, but in her heels today she was almost at eye level. “I'm so glad you could make it, I have two people who would really like to speak to you. It was last minute but apparently they're on a tight schedule. So they needed to get a hold of you A-S-A-P.” “Oh, alright?” Vinny said confusion clear on his face. “Vinny..” Camille said her grin still growing as she stepped into the elevator and dragging Vinny in with her,  the door closing behind them “...you got the part! You’re Seymour!”

-- 2:30 PM Cilantro - Upper West Side, New York City

“Oh, the second your mom read that Playbill article, it got plastered all over Facebook and you were tagged EVERY TIME. If I didn't get the call from Chrissy, I would have seen at least one of the 25 posts your family made!”

“God Amelia, I'm glad we weren't friends when I made it into Idiot. She went crazy. You would never have let me live it down. I mean I shouldn't complain though. She is my mother, Troi’s is just as bad.”

“I mean I would kill for my mom to be half as excited about a part I get. But that my friend is a totally different story. How was Troi when he found out?”

“Oh, he was happy. He had a bunch of errands to run earlier before he got to the studio earlier. So we haven't talked much just yet.”

Amelia took a sip of her mimosa and smiled across the table at Vinny. She was probably the oldest friend he had in the city, nonetheless​ the only one here who knew almost all of Vinny's past with and without Troi. The pair had met when Vinny was touring with American Idiot, and freshly single. In a different time and place Vinny felt Amelia might have been a perfect girlfriend for him, but with her lack of the desired plumbing and the fact that on one drunken night they may have made out, she held the coveted best friend spot and nothing more. But, of course Vinny never told Prima he might have been replaced. “Im glad things are finally working out between you guys. It was rough for a while on tour there. Until, you and Travis were a thing for a bit. You know he's in the city now, I dunno for how long but he’s got a place in Queens.” “Ya don't say?” Vinny said grabbing his Margarita and taking a large gulp of the drink.

“Ya, but we all know how you feel about taking the W into Queens. Vincent Depola doesn’t leave Manhattan unless it’s for a good reason.”

Almost instantly Vinny placed his drink down with a little too much force, and looked from Amelia to his phone. “Looks like I struck a nerve?” “No, I’m just not really in the mood to deal with any drama. And, you know drama follows him.” “Oh I know, I was living through the times of you guys screwing around AND the months following when y’all were just hating fucking. Thank god thats over” “Amen” Vinny added as he looked down at their empty plates. “So when are you going back on tour? Or, are you looking more for something more stable in the city?” “Well it depends on how the next two weeks go on Raph’s residency. I’ve got a few auditions lined up either way. If he’s leaving the city, I might jump on a tour, but there are also some workshops in and out of the city I could hop into if he stays. Why? Are you already going through withdrawls from me?” Laughing Vinny added “No! Well sort of.. I dunno.” “What’s eating at you?” Amelia responded, her tone switching almost instantly from upbeat to concern. “Nothing really, I mean it’s just weird to finally be tied down…” Sipping at his drink he continued. “...Like literally I went from the tour, to spending time home for a few months, and now I'm with Troi in New York. This isn't little old Trigger, this is the real world. And believe me I have never been happier with Troi but I just, I'm by myself too much. Granted now that I'm in the show I'll be able to rehearse and spend time with other people. But, until then it was just Troi and I, and on occasion Spadam. And you know how it is dating a dancer, or at least someone in a similar field as you. If your schedule don't align sometimes you're lucky to see them at night, again if you're lucky.”

“You sound perfectly normal Vin! It sucks, you know I know it. And that’s why I’m engaged to a doctor now. But, this is just your nerves from being pent up this long without anything really happening. Ya, you had the audition grind going, but until something happens you're on edge waiting to snap. You're in a Broadway Show now, you're going to be fine.”

Sighing, Vinny looked over at Amelia with a smile now. “I am. I'm in a Little Shop of Fucking Horrors. Finally!”

“And that's why this is on me” She added placing a credit card on the check.

--- 4:45 PM

Stepping back into the cold afternoon air the two embraced in front of the store for a moment, and then Vinny began his walk towards Central Park. Though the park wasn't too crowded this time of day, Vinny didn't mind the people that much. And, it was the fastest way to get home even if it did take him almost an hour at his leisurely pace. He enjoyed his time alone, it was something he got a lot of. But, ever since the tour ended and he went back to Trigger, it hadn't felt like he had taken a moment to just breathe, even when he was alone.

One moment he was single, and moving back home, the next he had a date with Troi. A date, that put them back on each other's radars. It took some time before he was even capable to even think about kissing Troi. Then it just happened, and happened, and happened. Numerous times, sometimes multiple at a time. Things just fell back into place, as if it was a four piece puzzle, not the complex thousand piece jigsaw their lives really were. It’s not that the two forgot about their previous qualms, but they spent almost a month just accepting the past was in the past, taking a tip from a popular ice queen and just ‘letting it go’. Most importantly though Blaise Monroe was out of their lives, and one thousand two hundred and eighty four miles away living a poor excuse of a life in Trigger, what a wash-up.

There were some days though that Vinny wondered what would have happened if he was still in Trigger? If the couple hadn’t rekindled and moved back to NYC to share Troi’s loft apartment. Would he be on another tour? Would he just be living the same washed up life, that Blaise Monroe was currently living? Or, would Travis still be in the picture, or at least in more then---

“Watch it man!” a cab driver shouted as Vinny stepped back onto the curb, lost in his thoughts and almost catching the cab’s drivers side mirror. “Damn it” Vinny mumbled under his breathe as he regained his bearings. About Halfway through the park, he could see the back of the Metropolitan Museum of Art on his left, and knew he had to go a bit more south if he wanted to get into his neighborhood without leaving the park. Walking on the streets around the park was almost as bad as Times Square. Why people flocked to this place, not even he knew. It was a beautiful park, but there were other wonders to see in the city. That were not inhabited by homeless people pissing all around, or thirsty gays cruising the bathrooms.  Turning passed the Alice in Wonderland statue, Vinny felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and Troi’s voice enter his ears.   “Hey there handsome” Leaning back into the other man’s arms Vinny felt his cheeks rise into a smile. Turning around he placed his hands around Troi’s neck and kissed him softly, letting his short beard rub against Troi’s stubble ridden face. “How’s my boyfriend? No excuse me how’s the new Seymour Krelborn in the Little Shop Revival!“ “I’m fine! I’m fine! Still letting it all sink in!” Vinny responded to Troi’s enthusiasm with his own. “Of course you are!” “How’d you know I was here?” Vinny added as he laced his hand into his boyfriends and continued the walk towards their apartment. “ I mean I’m far from complaining at all, I just thought you were going to be at the studio for most of the night teaching” “I was talking to Rhea about finding out you got the part, and she said she’d cover my night class. Under the conditions that I take you out to celebrate.” “ I will never feel bad about getting to spend more time with you babe, but that is entirely your call.” Looking away from his boyfriend and around the street to see where they had exited the park. Stopping for the light Vinny sighed softly, inaudible to anyone but himself,  

“Of course I want to take you out tonight! Do you mind if I take a run to the gym first though?”

Almost immediately Vinny smiled at Troi and nodded his head. “Ya, totally!” Vinny added with a little too much excitement.

“Wow, someone's happy I'm not just at the studio,and actually going out of my way to put a little extra muscle on.”

Vinny couldn't help but laugh at his boyfriend's response as he reached his free hand over to jokingly feel Troi’s abs.

“Not enough yet.”

-- 5:55 PM

(718) 565-3489 : I should be there a little after seven ;)

“Vinny! Have you seen my shaker?”

Quickly locking his phone, Vinny looked up from the couch towards his boyfriend in the bathroom. “Uh, probably in the kitchen, or maybe your gym bag?” He added hopping up from his place on the couch and moving towards the window to unlock it. “Do you need a protein shake today? I mean we are going for dinner afterwards. I don't want to be the one eating a five course meal and then you have a carrot. Those days are long over.”

Emerging from the bathroom Troi was in a pair of joggers and a t-shirt, tugging on a hoodie while almost walking into their kitchen counter. “You're right I guess, I'm only gonna be gone for forty five minutes max.”

“Good! Now go! I'm hungry” Vinny shot back playfully at Troi, as he wrapped his arms around the other and kissed him softly. Biting Troi's lower lip gently, Vinny pulled away and ran his hands over Troi's abdomen once more. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” Troi added with another quick peck, as he gathered his keys and drawstring bag and headed out the door.

As soon as the door shut Vinny practically ran too it to lock both the deadbolt and chain the door, making sure there was no way of potential disruptions. From the door, he made his way to the bathroom to throw some water on his face and check his reflection. He had changed when he had gotten home, from his casual wear to his Grade-A bum attire. Sweat shorts, an oversized hoodie, and his thick framed glasses Because, contacts just hurt after a while.

Staring at himself in the mirror Vinny closed his eyes tightly and ran a hand through his messy hair. Then he heard it, a light rapping on the living room window. The window had opened as he returned to the room to see his guest finishing his window entrance. Brushing himself off and placing his bag on the floor, Vinny’s eyes trailed up the familiar body and he smiled when he reached the man’s face which was covered in shadow from his hood. Not caring about the cold breeze coming through the open window, Vinny stepped closer and placed his lips to the other man’s. Wrapping his arms around him, Vinny broke the kiss to place his head on the others shoulder. The other man did not hesitate to place his stubble ridden mouth onto Vinny’s now exposed neck, tugging lightly on the skin with his teeth. Swatting the back of the man’s head Vinny dragged them down to the couch, where he was straddled by the other male. “No marks!” Reaching around the others waistband, Vinny let his hands wander across the other’s ass and playfully squeezed. Catching the other's mouth in his own Vinny began to remove the others hoodie when --

“Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!”

“Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,” The other said un-straddling Vinny as the latter ran his hands up his face and began laughing softly. Standing up and closing the window; the other man leaned on the counter top, one arm on the counter the other rubbing his face.

Laughing still, Vinny bent down and fished out two phones from the bag by the window and brought them over too the counter. Placing his hand on the other’s neck he ran it north towards the man's hair,  and in doing so he pushed down the hood revealing Troi from the shadow.

“Babe, next time you decide to seduce me as a stranger. Turn your old phone’s ringer off ,maybe?”

Grinning at his boyfriend Troi grabbed Vinny's waist to pull him into his side, and kiss the other's forehead while on the balls of his feet. Still biting back laughter Vinny pulled Troi into his chest and kissed the top of the shorter boys head.

“Jeeze, I wish I could say this was the first time I've been cock blocked by Sailor Moon.”

“Hey, it's probably my mother trying to get a hold of you in the first place.”

“Even better! I wish I could say that this was the first time getting cock blocked by your mother.”

Picking up the iPhone in the Sailor Moon case, Vinny saw the missed call was in fact from his future mother in law, and handed the phone back to Troi; before returning to the foreign phone still on the counter.

“So this, is what's finally given you a New York area code.” “Surprise!” Troi added sarcastically as he relocated by hugging the other from behind. Vinny, while toying around with the phone, felt Troi run his hands down his sides and under his hoodie. “ I can give you the entire tour of it, after we take care of something else.” Letting,his hands lower from Vinny’s abs, Troi slipped under the waistband of Vinny’s sweatpants and began searching for his target.

“Oh really now?” Vinny said as he turned (not gracefully) to face his boyfriend, and caught Troi’s lips in his own. Running his own hands across the other’s chest, Vinny straightened himself up and walked Troi backwards to their room. Breaking the kiss, as they crossed the threshold into the dark room Vinny softly pushed Troi onto the bed, and closed the door behind him. “I mean you still need to get a workout in before dinner” “I mean I could use a protein shot.” “Oh ya? Like you needed one the other night at that shady speakeasy in Astoria?” “Hey, that dinner was painful, a little exciting sex in a seedy bathroom livened it up a bit” “God I love you..” Running his hands down Troi’s sides Vinny noticed that in the time it took him to close the door, and make the room completely black Troi had removed his shirt and hoodie. His skin warm, as Vinny felt the smaller boy quiver under his touch. Tracing designs along the other’s chest, his hands teased the soft skin of Troi’s nipples. Where he tweaked the other softly, gaining an audible gasp from the boy under his touch. ‘I thought you weren’t going to follow through with your texts when Rhea let you out early.” Leaning down towards Troi’s left nipple Vinny placed his lips and began teasing the other with his tongue and biting softly on the erect flesh. “And miss out on this? Why did you think I decided to go to the gym? Babe,” Troi gasped and tried to regain his composure. “...today is my off day. I was at the studio all morning. You’re lucky I was able to climb the fire-escape at all.” As Vinny continued to work on Troi’s nipples, and enjoyed the soft sounds of pleasure his boyfriend was making; he began to run his hands up Troi’s muscular arms. Tracing where he knew the other’s key tattoo was, and up his shoulder where his right hand gripped the soft skin that led to Troi’s neck and jawline. Reaching down past Troi’s stomach and into the other’s sweatpants, Vinny squeezed the package that was clad in only a jock-strap. Removing his hand from near Troi’s neck, Vinny leaned up and let his lips mash against Troi’s hungry mouth. Troi wrapped his legs around Vinny’s waist as his boyfriend began to give his neck the same treatment he had previously did on his nipple. Removing his hand from Troi’s sweatpants, Vinny shucked his hoodie off while Troi greedily pulled his muscular boyfriend towards him. Vinny’s skin warming the other’s cold skin under him. While their lips waged war upon each other, their bodies worked together to have Vinny grind on Troi in ways that made the smaller boy moan through their kissing. “And to think, I used to be The Screamer.” Vinny added between panting, as Troi began to suck on his shoulder while his hands need-ily pushed Vinny’s sweat-shorts down. Leaving him exposed to the room, and in position to finish the job the two had set out to do from the beginning. Troi’s sweatpants were next to go as the warmth of their skin on skin began to drive the two wild. Reaching for the lube they kept in the bedside drawer, Vinny’s length pressed up against Troi’s grundle sending the other a bit over the edge. From the touch of Vinny’s length, and the restraint of his jockstrap Troi moaned louder than before, as Vinny silenced him with his lips covering the others. Managing to open the bottle of lube with one hand, and steady Troi with the other, Vinny was about to finish his preparations when --- “Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight. She is the one named Sailor Moon!” Troi let out a groan as he heard his phone go off again, using both of his hands he grabbed Vinny’s waist and looked for the others eyes in the darkness. Feeling Vinny’s nose rub up against the bridge of his own, he looked into where the others eyes were, and pleaded with him. “Forget it, and Fuck me.” Troi all but whispered as he slid his lips once more over his boyfriends.

And Vinny did.

[madigabz]

8-02 Hey baby, I was doing some reading yesterday & earlier today. Wanted to share some stuff just so you can read about some interesting things. Like chanting. It's pretty intriguing to me but idk if you'll like it. I was going to journal before work but I didn't give myself enough time. I slept in bc I didn't sleep the other night lol. My life is a mess but at least I have fun with it. Well I try to anyway. I wish I could have you here to relax and calm me down before work. I get so anxious sometimes about things. Never realized how much shit gets me going..worked up I guess you could say? Not really but I'm just OCD af and always on tip. I took a quarter of an addy bc I wanna study a lot tn. But it gets my heart racing still lol. I can definitely concentrate and focus more bc I truly do have adhd but I think it fucks w that heart murmur i have. Idk I like taking it & smoking too. I was emotional & soooo horny the last couple of days and I started my period i think? It might just be light but that's good! I hate how periods fuck up your hormones and make you so emotional lol. A little hope to not be negative & thinking I can't have kids. Even tho you said you can't bc you've blown in a lot of girls and nothing's happened -.- you're the only bf I've ever felt protective over. I think it's bc you're promiscuous:p. It'd be nice to have a conversation about life and share a bowl w you. Get fucked before work and be in a better mood ;) ughhh I can't wait! Do you remember sending me a pic back in like November I think? It was on our fb mssgs & it makes me wet just thinking about you bending me over the bed D: I was sad this am just in pain from yoga yesterday and I just want to be fit and healthy. Hate that one workout takes a week to not be in excruciating pain. Makes me stick to my diet more tho. Yoga and meditating with you:) Alan you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't wait to be the mother of your babies one day<3 I reread your last letter again. Makes me have a piece of you in the day. Woke up and read it, it gets me through a lot of days. I feel like I can't be as positive as can be if I don't smoke. You've been sober since before New Years... and I'm just so fucking proud of you, dealing with everything the way you have been. I mean it when I say that it has proven to me that you really have grown up and became a man. I know you aren't the person you were 5 yrs ago, a yr ago or even since January... You are still my rock & strength even though you're locked up. Still my reason for my effort in life. Thank you for making me feel like everything is okay. Even if you don't say it all the time, I know you're a hard headed, strong mother fucking person and I'm in love with you. I think I make you a better person and you do the same for me. You're my motivation babe and I thought about that while I was bummin' out earlier. It's why I read your letter :) but when I had that thought "Fast Car" came on and it was like a sign :b not trying to sound gullible and silly but it was like a "relax your shoulders, breathe, you're going to get what you deserve. Everything is going to be okay." It was like I had you pulling me in and reassuring me I'm not kidding. I remember standing in front of the mirror or cooking in the kitchen and you'd wrap your hands around me from behind. God I love you... I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please don't fuck me over. I gotta get to work:( but it's my ticket to come see you!!! I'll link everything later to this letter... I take pics through out the day and wanna just check in like you're apart of my everyday life. Love you so fucking much!! 4:20 & I think I might play with myself before work(; write later babes:* 8-07 so it's been a couple of days now and I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you. Im doing a bunch of interviews and what not through out the day still. I just got hired at bdubs & it's the closest restaurant to campus so I know I'll make good $!!!! I have a couple interviews this week for nannying & massaging. Things are finally coming together!! We have both weathered the storm and I truly believe we are going to get rewarded for being so positive and understanding our circumstances. I'm at my first day of training at bdubs..I was doing paperwork and I saw that sammi requested to follow me on instagram, I seriously got tears in my eyes. I didn't know if she hated me or not. I told her to call me sometime when she is able to, it has made my whole day! I'm hoping you call tonight but idk what your sanctioned days were. I'm guessing fri-sun but idk..so many meetings and stuff rn I'm trying to stay on top of everything. Irdk how moms do their daily stuff, their husbands stuff, housework, providing/ working, bills, baby, drs, everything! I need to learn how to manage my time better. I wish i could teleport to you & spoon you in your bed tn. Please stay positive about October Alan, it's the only thing I'm holding onto. I hope you like all of the stuff I'm going to share w you. I thought it might make you think a little more hopeful. I've been talking to your mom quite a bit lately, would you want me to ask her to come when I visit the weekend of the 24th? We are about to start touring & what not but I wanted to check in w you. I love you so much Alan<3 -Chanting protects us from negative energies: In the state of meditation the mind is thoughtless. In this state, some negative energy can trouble us. On the other hand, a protective sheath that wards off negative energies is formed around us when we chant.-Nowadays many people practice meditation as a psychological self-improvement technique rather than a tool for spiritual growth. the benefits derived from such meditation are also at a psychological level. Based on the above comparison, for spiritual growth in today’s era, chanting is of greater value. If you already meditate with the intention of achieving spiritual growth, we recommend you complement it with the spiritual practice of chanting.-Om Mani Padme Hum:The two syllables, "padme", meaninglotus, symbolize wisdom. ... Thus the six syllables, "om mani padme hum", mean that in dependence on the practice of a path which is an indivisible union of method and wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech, and mind into the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha"-Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu mantra: "May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all.” *(I used to "pray" or ask the universe everyday to for 'the world get happier and safer each day. & whatever happens to me, I'm able to walk away with a smile on my face' I have said the same thing since I was like around 10 yo.) -You should reach the large bead (or tassel) after 108 repetitions. When you do so, it is traditional to turn the beads around and continue in the opposite direction. Now repeat your mantra silently 108 times, moving one bead at a time, as before. Meditate for a few minutes. Do this by sitting quietly and envisioning your chosen form of the divine within your heart or at the point on your forehead between your eyes. If thoughts come, let them come, but realize that you are not your thoughts, and gently dismiss them.!!!!!!!!*(THIS IS THE BEST SENTENCE I HAVE READ) -Increase the number of mantra repetitions and amount of time in meditation as you have the time and inclination to do so, and are able to do with concentration.You may also repeat your mantra silently throughout the day as often as possible!- Mantra recitation, which is called japa (“muttering”) in Sanskrit, has been an important aspect of Yoga practice since Vedic times. It consists of the repetition of the same mantra, which can be composed of a single syllable (e.g., om) or a string of mantric sounds (e.g., om namah shivaya). As Patanjali reminds us, the yogic path is propelled by practice and dispassion, and significantly, the Sanskrit term for practice—abhyasa—means “repetition.” Through repetition we create either positive or negative habit patterns. Mantra japa produces positive mental tracks, helping us to gradually overcome spiritual darkness. It is a powerful technique for focusing the mind and for harnessing the body/mind’s subtle energies in completing the yogic path of self-transformation. As stated in the concluding chapter of the Kularnava Tantra: “Japa is so-called because it removes the sin accumulated in thousands of lives and because it reveals the Supreme Deity.” The greatest “sin,” of course, is ignorance of our own true nature.-I will put the Law of Least Effort into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps: " 1. I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were. 2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit. 3. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view, and I will feel no need to persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them."- Least effort is expended when your actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love. When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature's intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates , and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.-This leads us to the second component of the Law of Least Effort: responsibility. What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing. Once you do this, every so-called upsetting situation will become an opportunity for the creation of something new and beautiful, and every so-called tormentor or tyrant will become your teacher. Reality is an interpretation. And if you choose to interpret reality in this way, you will have many teachers around you, and many opportunities to evolve. Whenever confronted by a tyrant, tormentor, teacher, friend, or foe (they all mean the same thing) remind yourself, "This moment is as it should be." Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.-There are three components to the Law of Least Effort: three things you can do to put this principle of "do less and accomplish more" into action. Acceptance simply means that you make a commitment: "Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur." This means I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. This moment -- the one you're experiencing right now -- is the culmination of all the moments you have experienced in the past. This moment is as it is because the entire universe is as it is.- If the karma is complete, this will be part of what you release. If it is not, patterns can be reset this month to reflect a higher vibration so that unfinished business and karma can be completed or continued in a way that comes from a place of more love, compassion and forgiveness. This includes self-karma, those deep hard lessons we all came in with this lifetime whether they are physical conditions, emotional or intellectual challenges, or just simply difficult personality traits. Whatever has been anchored through your childhood wounds and imprinting has become part of your patterning. That energetic patterning is your belief system that informs the quantum field around you to manifest certain aspects of your life. Much of this becomes automatic and unconscious until you have an opportunity like we do this month to go within, dig it up, re-evaluate its relevance, and make a change. So, the bottom line is that this is a great month to reset and recreate who you are, what you want to manifest, and how you want to show up in the world. It is going to take work, commitment, discipline and a true willingness to change.- You may also find yourself resurrecting old hobbies or projects or even collaborations with others especially around the arts and music. That garden that you dreamed of planting a few years ago may suddenly manifest because it is the right time. Or that business deal you gave up on will come around again with fresh energy and new insight. Be inspired by the possibilities and be creative in your problem solving and reconfiguring of what runs your physical life. It may be time to retire some aspects and rekindle others. Take a risk and take advantage of what comes your way, always willing for reevaluation and reset.- *(there's a total solar eclipse where the moon blocks the whole sun aug 21st) And speaking of eclipses, even if you are not in an area where they are visible, it would be very very wise to honor them in some way as powerful allies for reset. Try to take time around the eclipses, especially the solar one on the 21st, without interference from your schedule. “We will not actually see the results of what these eclipses have offered us until later in the fall. But you can be sure that if you put the intention into what you want reset, you will get their support.”-When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase. You don't want to stand rigid like a tall oak that cracks and collapses in the storm. Instead, you want to be flexible, like a reed that bends with the storm and survives. Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently -- if you stop fighting and resisting -- you will fully experience the present, which is a gift. Someone once told me, "The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called 'the present'." If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the terrible burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free. In this joyful, simple freedom, you will know without any doubt in your heart that what you want is available to you whenever you want it, because your want will be from the level of happiness, not from the level of anxiety or fear. You do not need to justify; simply declare your intent to yourself, and you will experience fulfillment, delight, joy, freedom, and autonomy in every moment of your life. *Literally, I believe I got you back into my life bc I wanted it so bad. You are proof that you can "get whatever you want bc you want it from the level of your happiness" I knew I would have you back one day honestly, I just had doubt. I knew it even before last April when you told me I couldn't let you go bc you were the one for me. You just had to grow up. I moved to Colorado to let you do that. -research tells us that every thought and emotion creates a chemcial reaction because it immediately changes our neurochemicals that affect our mental, physical and spiritual health,Your mantra should be your own; something that resonates with you and helps you recenter in the moment. Keep in mind that what de-stresses one person may not be calming for another. So stick with what works, even if it’s something as silly as “Hakuna Matata.” How could this 90s mantra not make you smile? Plus — it means no worries ... for the rest of your days.:) “This Too Shall Pass.” While it’s important to live in the present moment, it’s also comforting to remind yourself the stress you’re enduring now is temporary — clear skies are on the horizon.“Make It Work.” Tim Gunn’s power phrase is poignant: Take a deep breath and remember that you’re in control and there’s always a solution. Don't worry be happy(: & ofcourse from bob Marleys song "3 little birds" Don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right. Singin: don't worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right! It's gonna be be alright man. Rise up this mornin, Smiled with the risin sun, Three little birds Pitch by my doorstep Singin sweet songs Of melodies pure and true, Sayin, (this is my message to you-ou-ou:) Singin: don't worry bout a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right.Singin: don't worry (dont worry) bout a thing,Cause every little thing gonna be all right! * hope you sang that with a Jamaican accent too :) alright who knows how many stamps this will be but this was the best way for me to show you that I'm thinking about you and doing everything I can to help you be positive & assured. I'm by your side baby. No matter what I'm going to wait for you. 8-08 i love you

[harshita-the-sassmaster]

rn im in a hotel room and i’m going to twitter tomorrow for a program i applied for.. and to think a year ago was BALL. time goes by so quickly. things are so different...i’m still w Colin?? I’m happy with myself. i hope for more self-growth because I feel like a happier person. 

i am so much more grateful for everything in my life -- my health, my family, the opportunity to get an education, the caring and supportive peers/ friends that i have, and just myself too. 

i’ve really grown to really love myself, and i’m definitely not as sensitive as i used to do be. ofc, i know i could be smarter. i know i could be more efficient at studying. i know i could focus more. but i think i’m really just trying to live my life with a balance. my mental health is at a good place because i feel like most of the time, i feel good or ok about my life. yes, i stress a lot and get anxious easily, but that’s lowkey my personality i realized ( lol) i say this as i sit chilling in this chair @ hotelzelos!! but like i know i’m just trying to find a balance. 

yesterday was the first time i was ever lit at a frat event, and ngl it was soo much better lmfao like what did i do being sober at all the frat things i went to in the past. this really good looking guy ( with a nice ass body omg) told me i was sexy but i was like i have a boyfriend!!! still a good compliment. he asked me if my bf was white and i was like yeh! and he laughed and iwas like why is that funny!! and he was like you’re into white guys. funny story, he transferred from ucla? like wow??? anywho i kept saying the boyfriend thing lols. THIS other beautiful girl came up to me and called me pretty and honestly that was so kind i love girls who are loving. at a certain point i came across this guy who was in my math and cs classes first quarter who used to always (lowkey or highkey??) look at me and i think he called me hot?and i quote, he said, “ oh shit, girls notice?” like homie idk about others but i’m p damn transparent. 

i talked to my mom about struggles i’ve been having with colin today, and she did the most wonderful thing. she just listened. she didn’t say anything about her disapproval. she kinda just listened and it was so nice to trust my mom. 

i’m actually pretty sad about not having an internship, but IM A SWE OFFICER! for next year :))) <3 i’m excited. also hope it entails more opportunities. but i hecka need to practice my coding next year. 

what i realized is that honestly, things do happen for a reason. the one thing i get really nervous abotu sometimes is about the 3 years of engineering ahead of me, but i need to realize that i can do it. i’ve withstood bullying, no self esteem, anxiety/ depression, endless fights w parents during my terrible teen phase, and fucking long distance, and 11 fricking ap exams. gotta keep my gpa at a 3.4 tho lol. this quarter, that might be a strug lol. gotta stay above at a 3.1 at least LMAO. life gets a little hard academically for my sometimes tho. hopefully i did ok on my physics test (lol). it was rlly hard but i gave it my all. despite sickness and allergies :))))))))

side note. thursday night rohan and this other girl im friends w were at late night and relationships and long distance came up. and honestly i had a realization that distance isnt rlly working out for me. and like i think that i love colin, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. idk if its the stress but we’re gonna have to “reevaluate” during the summer if i can’t be more affectionate? which frankly idk if i can do, so let’s see what happens. i just feel like we could never have a clean, drama-free breakup. i feel like there would be some sort of blocking on social media. some sort of we can’t see each other at social events. idfk what im doing w my life. eric and ananya are still doing distance? so are holly and boris? idk. why am i so interpretative of this. anyways. 

i rlly should get back to math soon. i miss going to the gym. goals when i get back: make sure to go to the gym and play bball! exercise is good for me. might help w my sleep anxiety. 

don’t you sometimes wanna know how your life works out? because i sure do. college and academic wise. relationship wise. 

i rlly hope my mom has her own house by the end of this year. that’s honestly something that would be so amazing.