#a phrase that lives rent free in my head forever

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for laughing at my cat?

A few days ago my cat was cleaning herself but she was making a very derby face and I felt like I had to take a picture because she looked really weird. I forgot all about it until I found the pic again in my camera roll and I couldn't stop laughing since.

So Aita?

Here's the pic for reference

What are these acronyms?

[1o1percentmilk]

it's so worth listening to almost 4 minutes of SHC by foster the people just for the payoff of "do you want to live forever?"

[bakafox]

Brain, randomly, as I eat waffles:

Well if Chat GPT and whatnot were to ever take some jobs and put people out of business, I hope it means the Mikkelsen Twins and their ilk no longer can get people to pay them for lessons on how to spam shitty nonsensical books on various platforms since it cuts out even the need to hire other humans for anything else.

(...Though my most cynical bit tells me there will be grifters charging people thousands of dollars to give them 'tips on how to use Chat GPT')

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Bottom (Part III of VI): To The Bone,” Moon Knight (Vol. 5/2006), #3.

Writer: Charlie Huston; Penciler: David Finch; Inkers: Danny Miki, Victor Olazaba, and Allen Martinez; Colorist: Frank D’Armata; Letterers: Joe Caramagna and Virtual Calligraphy

[purplehairedwonder]

Chapter 1081: Heartbroken

Me, reading this chapter:

Okay, let’s start with the stuff on Hachinosu:

Garp and his ship land in the wake of the giant explosion at the end of last chapter. He’s worried he’s losing his touch while everyone else looks on in horror at the thought that this is what losing a step looks like. (Just saying, Akainu should be sending Sengoku flowers and chocolates for saving his life at Marineford when he stopped Garp from attacking.)

Moreover, thankfully we don’t have to wait for Garp and Coby to reunite.

But there is a complication: turns out Kuzan is actually on Hachinosu after all (which leaves Lafitte and Catarina Devon to potentially be on the ship heading to Egghead). I am genuinely surprised by this; I felt fairly certain Kuzan would be at Egghead with all the Ohara references. But now I’m wondering if Kuzan will cross paths with the Straw Hats at Elbaf... which is also where Saul is. That would be something.

(Also, I still want to know where Smoker is.)

Kuzan announces his presence by freezing Hibari. 

So, this could be a coincidence, but there’s also a potential for something more dramatic here. There are theories floating around that Hibari is Akainu’s daughter, so Kuzan freezing her here could be a sort of revenge against the man who cost him the position of Fleet Admiral and his leg.

We also get a flashback to Kuzan joining the Blackbeard Pirates:

NGL, it’s pretty sus that Kuzan and Blackbeard just happened to end up at the same place. I don’t feel like this stops the speculation that Kuzan is undercover, especially considering some of the things he says:

Back at Ohara, he says

Later, when he saves Smoker from Doflamingo on Punk Hazard, he tells Smoker

(Side note, this is very much like what Law tells Smoker about why he became a Warlord--seeing things at a different angle.)

Kuzan, despite being with Blackbeard at this point, is calling himself independent. And he says,

Which brings us to what he says on Hachinosu:

He’s acting according to his own wishes, not the World Government’s and not Blackbeard’s. After all, consider what Blackbeard says when he recruits Kuzan:

Kuzan clearly has his own agenda here--one he’s had in mind and has been inspired by for a long time, only now he feels free to act on it--and if he has to fight Garp to keep up his place in their midst until his goals are achieved, he will do so. 

(I just want to take a moment to note that we have yet another contrast between Blackbeard and Luffy; Luffy’s crew is full of his friends who fight for one another and want to help each other achieve their dreams. Blackbeard’s crew is entirely transactional.)

The way he phrases the need to make sure Coby isn’t rescued is also telling:

The optics would be bad for his mission if Coby got out in his watch, and that’s the only concern. He’s not a true believer here; he’s doing what is necessary for whatever his mission is.

So, Kuzan is an immovable object and Garp is an unstoppable force. They collide.

AND NOW TO THE PART OF THE CHAPTER THAT WILL BE LIVING RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN FOR THE REST OF FOREVER.

Oh no.

WELL, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

This panel... hit me like a physical blow. Law’s been on the Tang since he was 16. I’m emotional about it.

Law whumps so pretty, sorry not sorry. (Add this to the file with him on the Heart Throne in Dressrosa and being tortured in Wano.) Bepo is... really adorable? And I love that the two of them are together here? Bepo’s with his captain, and I cry. This was also a brutal fight since it was Blackbeard and three Titanic commanders vs. the Hearts.

And another Rocky Port mention:

So, this confirms that Law got his hundred hearts at Rocky Port, and they’re all still on Hachinosu.

Meanwhile, Bepo (in another adorable panel) eats a new rumble ball from Chopper. (Can we talk about Chopper making this for Bepo? Chopper, bb, I love you so much.)

Law, stop being so pretty while you’re bloodied up.

Blackbeard knows about the Perennial Youth Operation, which is not surprising since he’s been hunting down Devil Fruits and Law’s is known as the Ultimate Devil Fruit. It’s interesting, too, that when Blackbeard ambushes Law, he says it’s for Law’s poneglyphs, but when Law is defeated, he talks about his Devil Fruit instead.

(Speaking of Law’s poneglyphs, did Blackbeard get them? With the Tang sinking and the captain and navigator escaping... wouldn’t it be ironic if he ambushed Law for his poneglyphs only to forget to take them in his victory.)

AND CHOPPER’S GIFT LETS BEPO GO SULONG WITHOUT THE FULL MOON. HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPE.

This bear, who is constantly apologizing for silly things, TAKES ON BLACKBEARD AND HIS TITANIC CAPTAINS to protect Law. I love their friendship so much.

Bepo takes Law and escapes in the sea. (Fun fact, polar bears can swim about 6 mph/10 kmh, and the longest known distance a polar bear has swum is 220 miles/354 km. So, Bepo is capable of getting Law to safety.)

Also, Law is leaving his hat and Kikoku behind -- two of his most visible signifiers. This... this hurts.

I am genuinely heartbroken by this moment. We know how much Law cares for his crew; he sent them to Zou to protect them from Doflamingo, and he gave himself up to be tortured in Wano to rescue Bepo, Shachi, and Penguin. He takes his role protecting his people very seriously, so he begs Bepo to turn around even though he’s in no shape to do anything. He just won’t abandon them (reminds me of him refusing to abandon Luffy if he were to die in Dressrosa).

But Bepo tells Law to trust in the Hearts. They’re tough and they’re survivors. This makes me think the Hearts will survive and regroup offscreen while Law and Bepo get away. (I can’t help but think, though, about the Hearts scattered on Winner Island and in the water and how Blackbeard is involved in the slave trade. Could you imagine the rage if Blackbeard sold the Hearts into slavery and Law had to rescue them? Or, if Blackbeard brings the survivors back as prisoners and lets the pirates with missing hearts at them... Yikes.)

Despite being conscious, Law must be in really bad shape for Bepo to be worried about him dying here. (I get that going underwater is safer against threats like Van Augur here, but Law is a badly-wounded Devil Fruit eater... he’s not going to be able to stay under very long, Bepo, heh.)

I want to examine, for a second, the way the defeat of the Hearts is framed versus the defeat of the Kid Pirates (versus the defeat of the Straw Hats in Sabaody).

“Winner Island, New World. On this day, the Heart Pirates, led by Trafalgar Law, were soundly defeated.”

“On this day, in the New World by Elbaf, the Kid Pirate crew, led by Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid, a man worth 3 billion, was completely eradicated.”

“Grove 12, Sabaody Archipelago, the Grand Line. That day, the Straw Hat Pirates, led by Captain Monkey D. Luffy, were eradicated.”

It’s quite noticeable how much more dramatically both the Kid Pirates’ and the Straw Hats’ defeats were described. For one thing, the descriptions of the Kid Pirates’ and Straw Hats’ defeats are more flowery. 

Plus, the use of the word “eradicated,” which sounds permanent. Obviously, the Straw Hats weren’t permanently broken up, but they are separated for two years. It’s a dramatic defeat. We don’t know what happened to the Kid Pirates, but it didn’t look good, as both Kid and Killer, who can’t swim, were thrown into the water. On the other hand, the Hearts are described as being “defeated” while Law and Bepo escape.

So, what comes next? On the one hand, it would make a lot of sense for Bepo to get Law to safety and then call the Straw Hats. This could be a great excuse to get Law back onto the Sunny for the duration, especially since his goal to learn about the Will of D. is aligned with Luffy’s without competing with his. Plus, you know Luffy wouldn’t hesitate to help Law.

On the other hand, if we think about where Law is in conjunction to the other two captains...

He’s closer to Elbaf than Egghead. It would not shock me if we start to see all these plotlines (Straw Hats, Kuzan, Law) converge on Elbaf.

Ugh, this chapter has completely wrecked me.

[ppeonppeonhan]

Dead Friends Forever Q&A-Style Review

I listen to a movie podcast called The Rewatchables, and they have interesting categories that I want to examine this series through.

Most rewatchable scene: It has to be the last one, because we've been talking about it nonstop since it aired. Plus, it lives in my head, rent-free, like Non is haunting me. Like WE failed him. 😱

But since I'm a BL girlie, who loves a well-crafted sex scene, I also have to include both of Phee and Jin's high-heat moments when Phee's trying to seduce him on the balcony and when they have rough sex in Jin's room. I'm not gonna lie: That was some king shit on Ta's end.

Best quote: "No one could leave this abandoned house — not even one." Come on! It foretold the surreal ending and fulfilled the victim's wishes. Gold.

What aged the best? The way that even the bullies perceived teacher Keng as a groomer, who took advantage of a desperate child — that will most definitely make that subplot still bearable even a decade from now.

What's aged the worst? The unaliving and SA montage in the finale that some have said was insensitive/irresponsible to have included. It was like trigger after trigger after trigger — practically a machine gun of traumatic scenes. The fandom could sincerely organize a class action lawsuit against the writer and director for them to pay for our therapy bills.

Scene-stealing location: The lake. Such a beautiful setting for romance, betrayal, and revenge. 😈

Best shot: Definitely the one of Tan from above when he's successfully drugged all of his victims. Iconic.

Are we sure this person is good at their job? Tee's uncle. The fact that he has so much riding on two teenagers is ridiculous. He didn't just start being a con man / mob boss that week. How does he not have a more stable criminal infrastructure at this point?

Best use of food and drink: Obviously, Tan spiking the beverages, knowing it would be the easiest way to poison everyone.

Was there a better title? Absolutely not. The play on the phrase "Best Friends Forever," an archaic term popularized in the '90s that puts way too much pressure on kids to find their kindred spirit and hold on to them through adolescence and adulthood, was inspired. It truly encompassed the impossibility of it all. There are just so many obstacles ahead of you, like peer pressure, family obligations, love triangles, bullying, ego, insecurity, and cowardice, that it's a lofty promise to make when you've barely finished puberty. Plus, it kind of hints at the ending...

Overacting award: Some could argue Barcode, but part of his performance was meant to be surreal, because it was in the dream state. I, personally, vote Jet (Top). Sometimes I felt like his character was in an entirely different, far more slapstick genre.

The "That Guy" Award: This category is for the actor/famous person you see all the time, but don't know the name of. I noticed a lot of people were excited to see Perth, so I "saw him all the time" on my feed. When I Googled him, that's when I learned that he was on a reality show with other Be On Cloud stars. 

Scene-Stealer (with very few scenes): Honestly, whichever extra/stunt double they had wearing that mask, freaking us out. The most memorable of which was when its creepy hand groped Tee.

Recasting couch:

I think Nanon (Bad Buddy) could've been interesting as the tormented Tan, because we would've bought his innocence longer.

It could've added to the mystery if we had the BL twins, AJ and JJ, confuse the narrative. 

I would watch Neo in almost anything at this point, and he could've played the morally conflicted Tee as he showcased those skills already in Only Friends.

A younger Mark (Last Twilight) would've fit so well into this cast. He plays lost and guilty quite well.

Picking Nits: This category is for pointing out things that just don't add up.

Why didn't Phee's cop dad have more questions about his son's behavior and activities after he saw who his son was involved with?

What teenager is fine going somewhere that has no wifi or reception? Even I wouldn't do that and I've had wifi as long as these characters have been alive.

Why was Non, a teenager, being medicated for mental health issues, but not being monitored by a mental health professional?

If Tee's uncle didn't want to be at a loss if Non died unexpectedly, then why didn't he let him get his wounds treated and get some rest? Unless the plan was always to harvest his organs, which would still have merited rest. Nobody wants shitty organs.

Unanswerable Questions

If Jin and Phee survived, would they have got back together?

If Non were alive, would Phee have ditched Jin?

What did they do with Non's body?

And, of course, after succeeding: Does Tan recover from his grief and move on with his life? Does he successfully escape arrest? Does he leave behind evidence of what the boys did to his family to further persecute them in death? Is his revenge plot really over...?

That was fun! Tag me if you answer the same Qs.

[callmewrinkles3]

Home

September 2021

"Emmy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you ever live somewhere that wasn't London?"

Dan's words were quiet as they lay curled up on the couch together watching some comedy show on Channel4. Em wasn't totally paying attention to it while they lay on the almost too small couch. It was a stupidly simple question on the outside but in reality there were so many layers.

She was fully focused on turning the idea around in her head, her thoughts consumed by it instead of the show and Dan's fingers tracing invisible patterns against her skin. She knew he wasn't doing it to distract her really, it was to ground himself and remind him that he was right there. She could have joked that it was thanks to him winning Monza but she wouldn't. Instead she pressed her lips to his forehead and ran her fingers through his curls when he held her tightly.

Part of her wanted to laugh at how clingy Dan had become, but part of her was nervous. As the world wanted more and more of the most recent Grand Prix winner he wanted to spend his time with her. He was the extrovert out of the two of them but he was the one who kept wanting to hide. Even having won wasn't enough for McLaren. She knew there were people calling his win a fluke, saying Lando deserved it. That trophy was a plaster on a bullet hole and there was nothing she could to do fix it for him.

She knew it was weird when Dan kept complaining about how his win had ruined their holiday plans in Italy. He kept saying how sorry he was that he couldn't take her to the villa he'd rented for them on Lake Como for a couple of days of sun and relaxing and sex instead of celebrating his win. Em didn't blame him. She couldn't blame him. After what had happened between her and McLaren that week, his mood for most of the weekend, and the fact that his family wasn't there to celebrate with him in the country he loved nearly as much as Australia she knew it was a bittersweet feeling. She knew it was strange and he wasn't ok so she did what she knew best. She held onto him, kept him safe and sound and grounded in her arms. They snuggled up together whenever they could, legs and arms wrapped around each other. And preferably no clothes on when they could get away with it.

"What?" Em asked like she hadn't fully heard the question. She had, but she needed a few seconds to think about exactly how to phrase an answer and not blurt out that she'd move anywhere with him.

"Do you think you'll wanna live in London forever?" Dan repeated, pushing a soft kiss to her shoulder before continuing. "I mean you love the sun. I know you like the rain too but y'know. I mean. Maybe in the future? Would you move somewhere else?"

She'd spent three years by his side and it had taught her a lot about him. One of the things she'd learned was how to tell when Dan was asking something but meant something else. She could feel the slight tension in his body and the hesitation in his voice. She could feel how he was overthinking what he was saying and how to ask something important. He was doubting himself so she tried to give him a little push to tell her everything.

"I mean I love London, but my three favourite crazy men are from Australia so I don't know. There isn't anything to really tie me here I think? Why are you asking?"

Everyone who knew her knew that she loved London and it wasn't something new. It was the first ever place that she'd felt free and been able to be herself. The first place she'd ever called home and it would always have a place in her heart. She'd had her heart broken and bruised and fallen in love in this city, and she would always like being there.

But Perth had captivated her heart and soul since she'd first been there. It was like going home was supposed to feel according to the books. She loved every part of the city and it felt awful when she walked into international departures and had to leave, part of her heart being left behind. It was leaving home when she didn't want to leave. It had become her home, even over lockdown and all that entailed. It was even better because she had a family there now and it was Dan's home.

"Just curious." She could tell that Dan wasn't telling the truth. Not fully, anyway. He had a question that he wasn't yet ready to ask her and she wasn't sure if she was ready to bring it up. So she could leave it.

"You know I'll follow you anywhere if that's what you're worrying about. We promised, right?" Her question was just as simple as his was and it had the same effect. He stopped and looked at her for a second before leaning down to kiss her properly, the two of them moving to be comfortable while they made out. That morning in the hotel in Monza they'd made a deal to never leave the other alone, and she'd follow him everywhere not to break it. And she knew he'd do the same thing.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 有翡/Legend of Fei.

Legend of Fei is a 2020 adaptation of priest's webnovel Bandits that tells the story of a competent yet sheltered young swordswoman, the terrible gremlin boy who decides they're married now, and their various friends as they venture into the jianghu to acquire the legendary MacGuffin that will do ... uh, something, probably.

This show is a delight. It is pure goofy, tender-hearted sincerity. It has so many precious baby angels with adorably pinchable cheeks performing so many fetch quests in so many styrofoam dungeons. It is funny on purpose and funny on accident. It is 51 episodes of rollicking, slapdash, green-screened adventure.

I am trying real hard here not to bite on @agendratum's wonderful rec post for the series, which includes the words "discount word of honor with teens," a phrase that lives rent-free in my head. Go look at their work for a more detailed character guide. What I have here are a mere five reasons above and beyond said post that you should watch this darling little show.

1. All the production values of a sixth-grade class play

This show flopped pretty hard, and I can understand why. It was a highly anticipated drama with two big-name headliners. Fans expected a lot from it! And what they got is something that looks and feels like a mid-budget syndicated UPN show from 1993, complete with how all the high-schoolers are played by actors in their thirties.

This show is comically janky and earnest. Stunt people fall down before they're hit. Breakaway furniture abounds. Actors bounce gently off "stone" walls. Damn near everything was filmed on sound stages with greenscreens. (Filming ran from September 2019-January 2020, stopped for pandemic reasons, and finished March-April 2020. While this certainly is not the only cause of the show's jankiness, it definitely contributed.)

This it not a show with no money; this is a show with an appropriate amount of money spent poorly.

The flow and pacing of the story are as smooth as a car crash. So many times, a scene with Characters A and B will be happening, the show will cut (sharply) away to a different storyline, and by the time it jumps back, Character A is in a completely different location and Character B has departed. When did that happen? Why did that happen? Where are we now? No time to ask questions! Establishing shots are for weenies! This director knows filmmakers who maintain narrative continuity, and they're all cowards.

Speaking of the narrative: I've seen Saturday morning cartoons from the '80s with more depth. I would be hard-pressed to explain what exactly is happening that's driving the plot. There's big business with a deposed emperor and a forever war happening on some distant front and disgruntled veterans of the army that's fighting it ... but, like, it doesn't matter? All those machinations are barely relevant to the plot at hand, which can be summed up thus: Bad Guys want Thing, Good Guys go on adventures to stop them from getting Thing.

And I am listing all this messiness as a selling point -- as the show's primary selling point, in fact -- because I think it's all charming as heck. This show is plain, unpretentious fun. It's a downright romp! It's got a very teenager's-eye-view of the inscrutable situation driving the whole plot, which does a good job of drawing attention to how maaaaybe this whole situation is bullshit and the grownups should stop killing themselves and other people because of it.

Here's a good metric: If the Ye Olde Haixing parts of Guardian warmed your heart, you are in exactly the right frame of mind for this.

There's no way to tell how much of this campy, underfunded aesthetic was intentional, and how much was the result of both poor budgeting and way too many cooks in the production and screenwriting kitchens. I'm not going to say this was a labor of love, because it was at best a labor of like. Everybody onscreen is giving it their all, but no one's giving the same all as anyone else. Go into it expecting that and nothing more, and you'll have a great time.

2. Punching the Bechdel Test into next week

Are you someone who loves c-dramas, except for the part where you're like, gee, I sure wish there were some girls in this? Oh, my friend, there are so many girls in this.

I actually kept being stunned while watching it by just how many girls are in it. Old girls! Young girls! Evil girls! Nice girls! Rich girls! Poor girls! Strong girls! Weak girls! Just a whole lot of girls!

Truly, it's not just how many female characters there are, but the sheer variety of them. The main octet includes an awkward tomboy who can kick your ass, a spunky brat who's not above crocodile tears to get what she wants, and a soft femme who's a brave little toaster despite having zero martial arts skills. The show absolutely loves them all and thinks they've all got important things to contribute, no matter how hard they can or can't punch.

And that's before we get into how many female side characters there are, both heroes and villains. I've seen that some people hate on these side characters. Those people are wrong.

Maybe the best part is how much they interact. There are many scenes with multiple female characters in them, sometimes with male characters too, and sometimes just the girls. Because this is a jianghu story with martial artists, several of the female characters have unique skills that they pass on to other, younger female characters. Women are often the honored masters of things who have competent all-ladies support staff. And there's no sense that they wash out after a certain age -- even the grannies can still school you as needs be.

...Of course, the sad thing is, I'm touting all this ladyfolk representation when maybe 20% of the total listed cast is female (doing quick math from the MyDramaList cast page). Pound for pound, the Untamed's listed cast has a (slightly) greater female:male ratio, and nobody would call that a girl-forward show. It just makes a difference when what female characters you have, you push toward the front of the narrative and give them reasons to have relationships with one another, instead of making them occasional props in the background while real (read: male) people get to be people.

The entire reason the Bechdel-Wallace Test exists is not to praise or condemn any individual piece of media, but to comment on larger trends in the depiction of women in fiction. It's not a problem when one thing doesn't pass the test; it's a problem when nothing passes the test, or when the things that do pass skate by on single moments and technicalities. The more things that fail its three criteria, the more that indicates the prevalence of an attitude that regards women only as accessories to men's stories.

Legend of Fei is aware that not only do women have inner lives, but they relate to one another in very specific, culturally informed ways. The female characters in this are not just male characters with incidental she/her pronouns. Zhou Fei not only gets to be the protagonist who goes on the whole hero's journey of growth and change, but along the way she also gets to have some complicated interactions with her own gender and how much expected modes of femininity do and don't suit her. But it's also not because she's Not Like The Other Girls! It doesn't make her better or worse to be that way. It just makes her more like her mom -- and if there's one thing I know that makes a teenage girl break out into a cold sweat, it's the idea that she's anything like her mom.

This little drama is hardly some revolutionary piece of thought-provoking feminist insight, or anything like that. It's just that if you're feeling the lack of ladies in your c-dramas and wish to see girls on film (as it were), Legend of Fei may be what you're looking for!

3. Chaotic bisexual (asexual?) extravaganza!

priest's work is queer as fuck, and while this story itself does not rise to the level of being textually gay, there's still a great big rainbow flag flying over the whole business. You can rest assured that when two dudes or two ladies are giving one another meaningful looks, it is not an accident. We all know who's writing this.

Do you like relationship charts? Because I've got a doozy for you:

How many of these are me making jokes? Way fewer than you think.

There are of course some actual canon couples in there, and the amount of real estate they take up in the narrative means your affection for them will make or break your affection for the show. Fortunately, all the teen pairings are super-cute!

Zhou Fei embodies the bisexual stereotype of liking all the ladies and maybe one dude. Xie Yun falls so hard and fast for this beautiful butch-by-local-standards that his head spins. Together, they are the romantic backbone of the story, and they are just a treat.

I've seen people say these two have no chemistry, and I think that's bullshit, but okay, let's assume that's your read on it. You can still understand why they like one another, beyond your standard, he's a boy, she's a girl, what more do you want? Zhou Fei likes Xie Yun because he's funny, emotionally available, and socially unacceptable. Xie Yun likes Zhou Fei because she's fierce on the outside and warm on the inside. Sure, they're in love, but what's more important is that they're good partners and great friends.

(I think it helps that even though the characters are supposed to be around the same age, Zhao Yiling is literally a decade older than Yibito is, and he clearly thinks even off-camera that she's dreamy.)

Also, it's great when he helps her sheathe her sword. This is a couple that's going to take about three whole minutes to figure out pegging.

Li Sheng and Wu Chuchu are the normie couple. He is big strong boy-man! She is small helpless lady-girl! ...Except no, this is yet another case of a wife guy who thinks his girlfriend's strengths are awesome; it's just that in this case, her strengths are her brains.

The fact that her attack and defense scores are nearly zero does not keep Chuchu from being the most competent person in any given room. She starts out as the girl who's important because she's got an important dad and an important key item, but she winds up being basically Jianghu GameFAQs. She never stops being soft and pink and feminine and tender, and she never learns to fight worth a damn, and none of that keeps her from being a vital (if unfortunately kidnappable) part of the team!

Meanwhile, Li Sheng is never really a male chauvinist, because he's grown up under his aunt, who kicks so much ass. But he is a bit of a cocky teen-boy turdface who needs to get knocked down a few pegs. It's great, then, that the show pairs him with the kind of helpless femme that he's supposed to want, then has him decide the fact that she's miles smarter than he is is the best.

And then there's these dipshits.

Normally in c-dramas, I'm used to triangles that are a strong canonical line between the main guy and his girlfriend, a strong but unacknowledged line between the main guy and his best friend, and maybe a faint dotty wisp between the girlfriend and best friend. Not so here! Ying Hecong, Li Yang, and Yang Jin (L-R above) are a damn near equilateral triangle. I mean, okay, technically they're set up as a more conventional love triangle, where both boys like the same girl, and she does sort-of choose one of them in the end. But in that arrangement, you'd expect the boys to become rivals -- and they never are. In fact, they become special allies who trust and take care of one another more than they do anyone else.

They're a great weird trio. Ying Hecong is a poorly socialized weirdo whose special interests are poisons and befriending snakes. Yang Jin is the chief of Doctor Village, a position that he got not by being a doctor, but by being a dumb jock who didn't realize fast enough why nobody else wanted the job. And Li Yang is the spoiled little sister of Li Shen and cousin of Zhou Fei, prone to getting what she wants by pitching a damn fit about it, who has decided that both of these boys are hers now and she can do whatever she wants with them.

(Li Yan is actually the most Actually A Teen of all the characters, and is the one who makes me wish so much that more of the cast had been played by actual age-appropriate actors. Some character traits are adorably tolerable when someone's twelve and verge on really fucking annoying by the time that same person is twenty-five.)

If you are into OT3s where two partners have to join in solidarity with one another so they can survive their third, you've found your pot of gold. Each one of them is enough of a catastrophe that they need two whole love interests to manage them. Between the three of them, they almost make one well-functioning human being.

Now: A thing to note about all these relationships, and one thing that may be surprising to you about something adapted from a priest novel, is that this show is negative horny. All of the romance is extremely chaste. At no point does any grownup worry that leaving these teens alone with one another will lead to some hanky-panky. Nobody ever volunteers to chaperone, or seems to need one. The adults aren't particularly horny about one another either! This is the kind of universe where people blush while tenderly embracing, then go to pick their baby up from the local cabbage patch.

Even my jokes about Zhou Fei's fuckable grandpa are just jokes, because nobody actually wants to fuck him. They all want to duel him, or to fuss over his health, or to follow him around and bask in his nobility. He has two kids, but we never meet their mom(s?). He deflects the obvious interest of multiple beautiful women with ease. He is the perfect man, both fuckable and unfuckable at once.

This may be what's having people read the main pair as having no chemistry. They have a lot of chemistry! It's just not a particularly sexual chemistry. It's extremely tender and playful, and there's plenty of physical intimacy. But it's not horny.

And that's not on the two actors. I've seen both of them look at someone else like they wanted to eat that boy alive. That was a choice this show made, to play all the romance about as spicy as when the puppets on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood hold hands. The only hints of horniness are in the fighting/injured bits, because sex is a big no-no, but nice polite violence is always okay! (Hey, uh, culture? We need to have a talk about this.)

4. The Grownups

As you may have gathered, most of this show is about the younguns. But a great deal of the supporting weight is carried by characters who are supposed to be of their parents' generation (even if most of their actors are only a decade or so older than the "teens").

I cannot fully in this post detail my great affection for every adult character; I wouldn't have room for anything else. So here's my top-three shortlist of the most memorable old folks.

If you like your ladies badass and crazy, Duan Jiuniang is here for you. Her grip on reality is ... well, it's complicated, but it doesn't stop her from being able to roast you from the inside out with her special skill. She's a terrible teacher and an even worse step-grandma who's made a lot of life choices that weren't what she wanted, but were what she needed to do to survive. I have no idea where she got those hideous leggings, but I kind of want a pair. She doesn't stick around past her one arc, so enjoy her while you've got her.

Speaking of crazy, the Phoenix, Mu Xiaoqiao, is a beautiful, tragic, genderqueer, completely insane middle-aged drama queen with a pipa to play and an ax to grind. I would watch an entire hundred-episode drama just about his campy antics. Hands-down my favorite character in the show. I'm not even going to say anything more. This bitch must be experienced. Love you, baby.

This fucking DILF. Holy shit. Shen Tianshu has a chocolatey voice and the world's most inconvenient prosthetic hand. At first his facial hair seems excessive, but then you see him without it in flashbacks and you're like, no! put it back! put it back! Frankly, I'm glad for the tufty brows, because this man does so much eyebrow acting, and you wouldn't want to miss a sinister moment of it.

And he's not the only one! Every single villain is running with full Bad Guy From A Power Rangers Episode vibes. No piece of scenery remains unchewed. They're what make this whole thing feel like you're watching a stage play. Every arched brow, every expansive hand gesture, every maniacal laugh, all of it plays to the nonexistent back row. (In fact, one of them -- Eyepatch Guy -- was so over the top that we had to look up his whole deal. Shockers, he's got an opera background.) If you have affection for the points I discussed in selling point #1, you will have love extra for the adult antagonists.

If you've ever watched a show made for a young audience starring young actors, you know exactly the grownup vibe I'm talking about. No, real adults don't act like this. But these are not real adults -- they are adults seen through the lens of a YA narrative, where everyone has big emotions and ultimately pretty simple motivations. Violence is acceptable but sex is not, and sexualized violence is especially not. You can threaten the kids but you (mostly) can't kill them. Parents should be removed from the main storyline, by death if necessary (offscreen preferred). By the end of the story, all adults must defer to the wisdom and battle strategies of the kids or be ready to be taken down by them. The lessons of age and experience are ultimately only useful once handed to the next generation.

Which is fine! ...provided it's the vibe you're expecting. I'd put this as another item in the list of probable reasons that this show did not go over as well as it should have.

5. We use every part of the Wang Yibo

Okay, so if you're like me, your introduction to this beautiful man was the Untamed, where 95% of his job is to keep every one of his facial muscles from doing anything -- and, if you're like me, you then watched some Untamed behind-the-scenes stuff and went, holy shit, this boy can make expressions?

This boy can make so many expressions.

I'm not going to argue that Wang Yibo was necessarily miscast as Lan Wangji, because that's not a fight I'm interested in having with internet strangers. I do, however, think it's undeniable that the Untamed misused him by all but ignoring his two primary skills: his giant goofy smile, and his being a dancer.

Legend of Fei makes use of both of these to great effect. Xie Yun is a gremlin who can't fight but can dodge. The show loves to leave the camera on him and let him spin and duck his way out of battles with his own mischievous grace. Wang Yibo does a remarkable amount of his own flipping and fighting, with and without wires. In a world of stunt doubles and smash cuts, it's a delight to watch.

My favorite thing about Xie Yun is that he likes that girl so much. He looks at her like she's the best thing in the world. He is her biggest hype man. He's all wife guy. Every time she's stronger and butcher and meaner than he is, he's pulling out his pompoms and cheering her on. He is in no way emasculated by the fact that she kicks so much more ass than he does. He is actually her wife, and he knows it. Kick their asses, baby, he'll be your flower.

Wang Yibo sells that devotion with each look in her direction. He brings every piece of his inherent chaotic good energy to the role. He's a comedic scamp right up to the point where he rips your heart out. If you are at all a Yibito fan, you owe it to yourself to get this show in front of your eyeballs so you can see what trouble that precious baby boy has gotten himself into this time.

Bonus: Do you like Word of Honor? Because this is how you get Word of Honor.

So I'm betting a lot of you did what I did, which was that you watched Word of Honor, and you loved it, so you went to read the book, and you were like, the fuck? Because Faraway Wanderers is also great, but uh, after a certain point, they're two very different stories.

While I cannot prove this, I would place a large amount of money on the screenwriter for Word of Honor's having been very aware of this production while doing the adaptation. See, in case you haven't read it, Faraway Wanderers itself barely spends a page of time with anything outside of what the main dads-and-kids quintet is doing, which makes for a fun danmei webnovel, but doesn't translate so well to live-action. I am almost certain that in the same way that they used frog DNA in Jurassic Park to fill in the gaps in the dinosaurs' code, this screenwriter (who is a priest fan) used Bandits/Legend of Fei to build out Faraway Wanderers' moments into a whole drama.

The timeline goes like this:

June 2010: priest publishes Qi Ye

October 2010: priest publishes Faraway Wanderers

November 2015: priest publishes Bandits

September 2019: Legend of Fei starts filming

June 2020: Word of Honor starts filming

December 2020: Legend of Fei airs

February 2021: Word of Honor airs

So yeah, it's not like the Word of Honor screenwriter could have watched Legend of Fei prior to penning the Word of Honor script. But there's too many similarities to be coincidence. To be clear, I'm not accusing the Word of Honor screenwriter of ripping off Legend of Fei. Watching it is more like seeing bits of Word of Honor's first draft. The Color of Ocean and Heaven and its five tokens become the World's Armory and the Glazed Armor. Wu Chuchu becomes Gao Xiaolian. Mu Xiaoqiao becomes the drama version of Xie Wang. All the nonsense with Yu Wenzhi and the Demons becomes all the nonsense with Zhao Jing and the Scorpions. Someone with more time than I have could probably make a thorough accounting of the number of times scenes with Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu visually parallel moments Xie Yun and Zhou Fei have, and how often those scenes were in bits not related to the original Faraway Wanderers plot.

And I think this is great. It's why, even though a lot of Word of Honor was not in priest's original text, Word of Honor is still very priest-flavored. Frog DNA, you know?

All of which is to say: If you love Word of Honor, you owe it to yourself to watch Legend of Fei. It's much sillier and straighter, and it's way less sexually charged, but it's got a very similar vibe, and it's fascinating to see what the two have in common. Think of them as two distant cousins, where you're like, sure, I can definitely see how you're related, but ... huh.

Ready to embark on your journey?

So many options! It's on iQiyi (VIP), Viki, and YouTube.

We watched it on iQiyi, and the subtitles were ... well, they made some interesting choices. You could always tell what they meant, but the actual phrasing was often wonky. Occasionally, where you'd expect a "Dammit!" or "Crap!" these subtitles would have someone exclaim, "Screwed!" And we never stopped laughing about the poor villain whose name those subs rendered as "Pathetic Clam." I cannot tell you if the other subtitles are any more polished, but I can promise that the awkward translations just added to the charm.

Do I have a soft spot for well-meaning television that does not have the means to achieve its goals but tries anyway? You better believe it.

Just a pile of precious cutie pies.

[believesthings]

Not Just A Girl - Chapter 4 // Jason Sudeikis x Reader

Summary: You're a new up and coming actress. At your first awards show, you run into your celebrity crush, Jason Sudeikis. Trying to navigate the bond you form with him while both juggling your respective careers proves to be quite the task with some unexpected twists along the way.

Tag List: @my-soupy-brain @tegan8314 @tortilla-maria1

Once again you wake up entirely too early of your own accord. To work out some of your nervous energy you wander down to the weight room to move for a bit. Your realize once you've made it down there that you've left your phone in your room but you don't need your phone for the a half hour, right? That's the new thing these days, Isn't it? Technology detox? Sure, why not give it go.

Your callback isn't scheduled until 10:00 which gives you plenty of time to obsess over every little detail you can imagine into being before having to slip into the persona of Mia and hopefully finally get conformation regarding the part.

Comfortably tired from your workout, you head to the elevator to go back up to your room and happen to spot your new friend - the security guard from last night - leaving as he gets off his shift. He looks even younger outside of his uniform. Quite the shift, you marvel, for someone so young - but then you often held off jobs while you were working in theater, just son you could afford the rent.

You give him a friendly wave which he returns with an exhausted by happy smile. On the elevator, you remind yourself to relay your promise to Jason when you call him later in the day. You've decided on calling him around lunchtime so as to hopefully not interrupt his day. He made you promise that you would call after your callback, but he never specified when.

A glance at your phone tells you that 30 minutes with it, while freeing, is actually quite impractical. You've not got numerous messages to shift through.

Knock them dead, Honey.

From your mother.

The award looks great. Go get us another to match!

From your Father, with an attached photo of him, making a goofy face next to your award in a newly built cabinet.

Todd had sent a series of messages - first regarding the fan mail that he wanted to pass on to you at your earliest convenience, a.k.a. come clear some of this clutter from my workplace - followed by directions to the building where you needed to go today, a brief pep talk... remember your training, so on, so forth - and then an oddly phrased text requesting that you call him after lunch because by that time he thought he would know something you would like to hear.

You had sent him the list of places that you had been interested in renting while you stayed in town, perhaps he would have news regarding that? You can't live in the hotel forever, despite how tempting it would be to do so.

Will also opted for a series of texts:

If they don't choose you for Mia, they're mad. - x

Followed by:

Can't wait to see you and discuss your new boyfriend.

Then another one:

Jo said the pair of you went house hunting without me. You owe me drinks!

You try to remember where he is and what he could be doing at the moment, judging if you can call and chat. Is he doing interviews? Maybe a photo shoot?

The next text doesn't help clear up where he could be.

The makeup trailer seems empty without you. When will we be able to coerce someone into making All Your Monsters 2?

You save the texts from Jason for last.

Good Morning, Darling. Don't forget your promise to call.

You can't help but grin. "Or what?" You think to yourself.

Before protesting again, my phone is on silent and I'll be checking my messages at every available moment until I hear from you.

You shake your head and laugh, imaging Jason sneaking glances at his phone every time the director calls cut. Though it makes you smile you'd feel incredibly guilty if you got him into trouble on set.

Also, we had food provided during our breaks from a wonderful little breakfast spot downtown. I'd love the chance to take you.

This makes you blush. Breakfast with Jason. Breakfast following...

Before your mind can stray too far down that distracting line of thought another text arrives from Todd:

Did you get the directions I sent?

Really, he worries far too much about your sense of direction.

Yes, I'll let you know when I get there.

You pack up a few things into a satchel in the hopes that you can window shop at some point during the day. To pass the time and distract yourself from the butterflies in your stomach you use your phone to scroll through the media links that Todd has sent you. There are so many articles speculating on your connection with Jason - curiosity makes you scan through the titles.

The new woman in Jason's life, Battle of the Co-stars over before it began? Goldstein out on day one as Sudeikis cuddles up with new woman.

After reading through a few of the articles you get distracted by the copious photos linked to the sites: publicity photos of each of you at the awards show with candid shots from the night sprinkled in, more from the after party, walking along the street, even a few from your date the previous night. Scrolling through the pictures you are reminded of the long days during filming All Your Monsters when you would pas the time by searching our various funny pictures and sending them to Will. You spent an entire week sending him the same photo of a squirrel with his cheeks overstuffed - it had driven him crazy.

Rather than sit around in your hotel you decide to go ahead over to the location for your callback and maybe find a quiet spot to sit and center yourself before having to disappear into the character of Mia.

You arrive far earlier than just a few minutes, which all works out according to plan -- finding a place to sit and collect yourself proves a bit challenging. As far as options go, sitting in the lobby isn't much help because of all the foot traffic... there is a row of chairs near the door that you were directed to go to, but that puts you in the awkward position of having to see who walking of the room just before you have to go in. Everything has been kept incredibly quiet regarding the project.

You can hear voices coming from within the room through the door, which was left slightly ajar. You know better than to try to knock on the door to announce your arrival, for all you know they could still be with the previous pairing and interrupting that would be awkward beyond even your standards. You realize the voices have grown a bit more insistent and you can actually make out the words of the person who is currently speaking and it is n=certainly not dialogue from the pages you've been given.

"I just don't see the wisdom in it..."

Part of the response is lower than you can make out... "-thought we had agreed it would be best for production."

"Well things changed, maybe we don't want that anymore."

"Do we scrap all the other choices we've made so far then too?" Someone was very unhappy about something regarding this James & Mia movie. "You said - you said that casting unknowns was the most beneficial!"

Oh - your stomach flips. Oh, you really shouldn't be listening to this, any of this. You should get up and walk back out to the lobby and wait there until it is closer to your appointment time. What if they open the door to find you sitting here? You want to flee but now that your ears have picked up on the conversation your body seems to refuse to let you escape.

"Look - you can be on board with this or not but that doesn't change the fact that we are going to be telling all of them today and.."

The irate voice was even louder, loud enough to make you wince and unglue from your position. "You still want us to see all of them? You don't consider that - I don't know - a waste of everyone's time? Now that you've unilaterally made the biggest decision we..."

You don't stay to hear the rest of the tirade. You're already walking down the hall as quietly as you can. You don't pause in the lobby but burst out the door onto the sidewalk, the sun shining ahead help as you as your best to take steady breaths.

Pull it together. Breathe in, out.

In. Out.

Ok. So they're going a different way, at least they're going to tell you rather than leave you waiting for a phone call.

Breathe in. Out.

Why wait around to hear they don't want you? You're feeling petulant but quickly find a reply to the question: you never know what other projects these individuals might have lined up that they might recommend for you.

Everything is an opportunity.

You've been turned down for parts you've gotten attached to before. You close your eyes and concentrate on breathing until the urge to dry heave subsides. Opening your eyes, you sigh up at the building. There's one voice you want to hear before you go back inside to face their decision..

Your finger are still slightly shaking as you dial Jason's number. It goes to voicemail, thankfully he did as he said he would and turned his phone to silent.

"Hey-" You scowl when you hear your voice waver and force a smile, trying to change the pitch of your voice. "So, I'm currently standing outside enjoying the beautiful sunshine and thinking of you. Havn;t gone in yet but I overheard something I probably shouldn't have... and well, I think they're going with someone else. Whoever it is, I'm sure it'll do the project wonders. I just... well,,,"

You look down at your watch. "Damn." It took you longer to gather yourself than you thought. You've got to run back inside or you'll be late. To top it off, you notice that in your frazzled state to check your watch, your thumb ended the call. You heave a sigh before turning the phone ring tone down and stuffing it into your bag.

Back in the building you walk with as much confidence as you can muster back towards the proper room. The door is open now, the silence reminding you of the quiet just before all hell breaks loose.

Ok. you are going to go in there and wow them, even if they've already made up their minds. You'll explain everything to Jason later - hopefully over many drinks.

Upon entering the room you are warmly greeted by the casting director, a man who reminds you of your theater teacher from college. He introduces you in turn to the individuals sitting alongside him - almost in order of the chain of command, working from himself all the way up to the man you recognize moments before the casting director says his name - the director of the project. After introductions you drop your bag to the floor beside the chair they've set out in front of them. Was your phone buzzing? It was hard to place to source of the sound over the shifting of all the people in front of you and the added movement of the script and other odd things in you bag. You didn't really need to bring the script with you, but you would thought you have a moment to go over your notes to yourself... of course, that was before you eavesdropped on the conversation that was taking up your brain space. You start to lean over to adjust the way your bag is sitting and maybe pull the pages out but you stop your actions when the casting director addresses you:

"Well, before we get started, Welcome back! You were absolutely lovely in your audition and I wanted you to know that. We loved the interpretation of Mia that you brought to the table."

Were absolutely lovely. Loved. Past tense. As in we don't love your interpretation anymore because someone did something better, but thanks for playing anyway. You keep your breathing calm and level by dropping yourself out of the moment as much as you can.

"We think we've found--" he glances askance before correcting his words. "We have cast our James and are hoping that we might have the right fit for you playing against him."

That - was not what you were expecting him to say. You blink to let the words sink in for a moment before smiling. "I- thank you! I'd love to give it a go."

"Excellent" He beams down the line at the other members of the team, most of whom are smiling - but you notice the production manager, (or were they introduced as the production coordinator?) doesn't seem to be very interested in the conversation. "We're actually going to have to wait a few minutes for his arrival so let's just run through a few lines and then we'll see where we're at." You nod before squaring yourself in your chair and letting your careful construct of Mia take control.

Half an hour later you're up and pacing, you've just finished a particularly tense bit of dialogue with all.. but again, just the one... seeming to enjoy themselves as they are again liking what you are showing them. You've amended small bits of your reactions as a result of your discussions with Jason regarding certain moments. Thankfully a break is called so you can scoop up one of the bottles of water they've kindly provided. You chose not to reseat yourself right away. The energy you've called upon for the scene making you a bit restless now that you don't have a way to expel it. Pacing doesn't seem to be doing to the trick so you let the character of Mia slip back into the corner where you've nestled her away in your mind.

With a glance down at the far end of the table, the casting director then checks his watch, "We;ll just call down to the lobby and see if he's made it yet... we did agree to the 10:30 - 10:45 time frame."

While he makes his phone call, you perch on the edge of your chair to scoop up the script from your bag and flip through the pages to review some of your notes. Remember how tenuous the relationship is by this time. Or Would she allow James to see how horribly he's injured her here or would she strive for impassiveness? In searching our a particular phrase you wanted to highlight you notice writing on pages you don't remember commenting on. A closer look brings you a smile. Jason has written you notes as to his feelings on the scenes. Most seeming to be in agreement with your assessment. Bless him. Your trace your fingertip over is handwriting, figuring he had written it while waiting for you to finish getting ready for your night out.

"Oh - excellent! And you already sent him up? Good!" The casting director clasps his hands together with such explosive force it jolts you out of your thoughts. "Alright, we are delighted to tell you that -"

Well. That makes twice is less than an hour that you've been surprised ( and then delighted) by the turn of events - Brett nods his acknowledgement to you.

You realize the casting director is still talking, "...And Brett's schedule being as busy as it is we weren't sure if we would be able to land him for the role, but by the time we get production underway things shouldn't be problematic. We'll try to get through this quickly..."

Your casting director is talking more to the people alongside him than you right now but you still nod in reply. You take note of the expression of those in charge - the director looks particularly pleased with himself, but again the production manager/coordinator - really, you were going to have to clarify that eventually - doesn't appear all that interested in the events unfolding. Actually, as you analyze her expression, you realize that is she seemed merely disinterested in you before, she seems to be seething now that Brett Is in the room. Wow, not doing a very good job of hiding her opinions at the moment... Obviously, it was her protestations that you overheard earlier.

Brett has finished shaking hands with those in charge and scoops you now into a gentle hug. "Surprise..." He murmurs into your ear just before releasing you.

How long had Brett been interested in the role? You think back through the odd few texts the pair of you have exchanged since meeting the night of the award show and you realize that you never mentioned this particular project while talking with him. Apparently, this is just one of those wild coincidences.

How long will your luck hold our concerning your career? You are reminded of your audition for All Your Monsters when you walked into the room and saw Will Poulter sitting there waiting for you. How did you overcome your nerves then? Right, push your own feelings aside and concentrate on the the character... Your drop the script back into the chair and take a quick sip of water while listening as the casting director gives brief directions as to what he'd like to see from the pair of you.

By 11:00 all involved seem to be on the same page regarding the casting of Brett as James and you in the role of Mia - even, to your pleasure, the production manager. You don't envy them the task of seeing the remaining people today... that exchange must be a tough one. Brett nods great fully when they acknowledge that he need to get back to filming for the current project he's working on. He waits for you to grab your bag and walks with you back towards the outside world.

"I'd be happy to drop you somewhere on my way back to the studio."

You shake your head while thanking him. "That's ok. I think I need to walk around a bit." You feel your phone vibrating into your side through the fabric of your bag. " Ah - and I have a few phone calls to make. Long story..."

The pair of your pause in the lobby to say goodbye. Brett gives your arm a brief squeeze. "Which there will be plenty of time to hear now that we're working together. I'll see you again soon."

In the hour that you've been in the callback your phone has gone nuts. You send off a quick text to Todd letting him know of the developments, omitting your little panic attack before the audition though he's surely likely to hear about it somehow. There are both texts and voicemails from Jason You read through the messages first:

Your message cut off, is everything ok?"

Everything is now.

The next:

Todd said he wasn't even aware you'd gotten there. You did go in didn't you?

Oh Damn, you forgot to tell Todd you had arrived since you were so distracted. Well, he knows now.

Forget whatever you heard. You show them how passionate you are about this character and they will have no choice but to be swayed.

Oh God, you've apparently really distracted him from his work.

Darling, answer your phone. Please. You're killing me here. Smoke Signal, carrier pigeon. I'll take anything to know you're okay.

You stop scrolling through the messages. You imagine his voicemails will be more of the same. You quickly dial his number and to your surprise, he answers on the first ring. Before he can say a word you rush out as much information as you can.

"Jason, I'm fine. Everything is fine. I did go - I'm so sorry to have worried you. I got the part, Jason!" You can hear him breathe out in reaction to your news. "I can't believe you called Todd, I'm in trouble aren't I?"

This results in a chuckle. "No you're not in trouble though I wouldn't mind putting eyes on you right now, just for good measure."

You close your eyes to fight back the emotions rising to surface. You want nothing more than to be standing with him having this conversation in person. "Hmm I probably owe everyone on your set apology cakes or something for how much I seem to have stressed you out." Another laugh comes over the line. How you love making him do that. "I very much doubt they would just let me waltz in there with a plate of cookies though... Who all did you call anyway?"

Jason considers for a moment and you can hear him being summonsed in the background which is apparently ignoring because they repeat themselves louder. He responds to them with a bit of hesitation. "Yeah, I'm on my way!"

"Jason, I know this is going to be a long day for you but... could you -" You plan on asking him to call you or at least express your desire to see him.

"Yes."

You laugh. "You don't even know what I'm going to say."

"Doesn't matter. Yes. You had me at could you."

You try to think of something outrageous to demand of him surely because he agreed but you settle for the delight you feel knowing that you'll be able to wrap your arms around him in a matter of hours. "Okay, then." You can hear him being called more insistently and smile. "I'm really going to have to send over dozens of apology baskets. I'll call Todd to get right on that. You said tentatively you thought you'd be done by 8 tonight, right?" Jason confirms the timeframe and you add, "Ok - I'll be there when you're done. Call me if that changes. Now go before they irrevocably hate me for taking you away from work."

You take a taxi over to Todd's office after calling to both apologize for any undue stress - ok, all the undue stress. - and the request that he send over a massive basket of delicious treats to the studio where Jason is working. He laughs, "You want the note to say what?"

"Trust me, it is justified. Please Todd?" You note the taxi driver is doing his best not to laugh.

[ventiswampwater]

the phrase "I love toxic doomed yaoi" will forever live rent-free in my fuckin head

bonus colored adumb:

[ratbaby1566]

🐀🐀SPOILERS for jedi fallen order🐀🐀

Just finished fallen order for the thousandth time, so of course I'm gonna be thinking about trilla's "avenge us" for the next forever.

No cause that little phrase lives in my head absolutely rent free, I never stop thinking about it. Her last words are a call to action. the use of "us", it's not just for her, its for every single jedi that the empire murdered or broke down or turned to the darkside, for every inquisitor still stuck serving the empire, for every jedi currently on the run or in hiding. The acceptance in her voice as she says it, cause she knows who's behind her and she knows she's not getting out of there alive so she might as well have the last word, a small act of defiance to end her story. It's such a simple phrase but it hits me like a fuckin truck every time.

Anyway, cant wait to play cal fucking up the empire in the next game never been more excited in me life.

Also, fuck the empire. But that should go without saying.

[archivalofsins]

Remember that timeline convo between Amane and Kotoko, where Amane thanked her for not treating her as a child and that she’s not so scary, to which Kotoko responded, “Why would I treat you as a child? I still am the person I was at 12. Also, you’re not so great, suck on that B-.”

Because Pepperidge Farm remembers.

That said, God, I really thought it was some strand of leftover moral keeping her from attacking Amane, not a lack of opportunity.

I remember it sooooo well. That interaction lives in my head rent free!

20/06/18

Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this. Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down.But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach. Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that. Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%.How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.

Kotoko really said in that voice drama if it wasn't for Kazui interferring and Mikoto taking so long to fight she would have jumped that kid. She has always and will forever be about it. When she said remember that she meant that shit.

This is the perfect example of the phrase when people tell you who they are believe them.

Don't give them a defense, don't say you're probably overexagerating, you probably have poor self-esteem. We can unpack that after taking they asses at face value. In order to fix an issue one first has to accepts an issue exists.

Definitely puts all those injured children throughout Harrow in a new light. Especially given her focus in the voice drama of others not being able to do what it takes to actually implement change. People were really like it can't be that bad and Kotoko barged in cd drop like,

"Ha; it's gonna be worse! SO, STUPID WEAKLINGS LIKE YOU ALL SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AN LET ME PROTECT YOU! You're way too soft- What were you thinking that you could make friends?! That these people would change if you were nice and understanding enough. That we'd all hold hands and laught together if you just forgave us? You're far too kind- AND NAIEVE! What next are you just going to forgive them because they're attractive? You need me to do the things that need to be done that you yourself clearly can't do. That's what cooperation is."

It's been amazing because she came in last part of trial two and really gave the audience and Es a kick to the face for all our behavior up until now. Like it's the biggest fuck all of you of trial two. Honestly she kept hitting she did not miss. Not one fucking time. She held that mirror up and shouted at that bitch until it cracked.

Ooooo, boy....

I was not expecting to come out of her voice drama like well now hold on she's a bit wild, a tad unhigned, definitely unforgivable to some, but um she's speaking some truths. There's some truths there that a lot of people who participate in Milgram are not going to like to hear but need to hear regardless.

It was so satisfying to see. Especially after everything this trial. It was just perfect actually after everything we've been through and the logic we've all seen. That- Yeah we deserve to get to sit with that for a bit.

[rynven]

I just wanna talk about the beauty of Binx and Andheras relationship.

When Binx had the glamour of Gwyn she was gifted half of a shell from Andhera. Unintentionally he gave them a thing that holds beauty but isn't complete due to part of it missing. This is stupidly symbolic of Binx and their court.

Then theres the moment in the maze. How Andhera sees Binx, realizes that shes Gwyn by her eyes. They see her for who she truly is and accepts her entirely. I'm not gonna lie I was on the floor with emotions because of this simple moment.

Then one of the moments that made everyone scream, the crystal heart. We know from the great hart hunt that Andhera feels most comfortable in the darkness and we later learn how truly awful his court treated him. He could use the crystal heart to finally get the respect he deserves but instead they find Binx and place it in their hand. And she in turn mirrors that moment in the maze of recognition even though they can't see who it is, for she knows this is Andhera by his scent alone just as they knew it was Binx by her eyes alone. I'm just gonna stop before I go on forever about this but it was such a beautiful moment.

THE LETTERS! We as an audience are very much aware of the fact Andhera is absolute shit with words but their able to shape the words so elegantly for Binx, the letter comes from the heart for him and it's evident in how wonderful the letter ends up being. Binx leaves a simple note but sometimes the shortest phrases have the most impact. They see each other and they let the other know that.

I could go on and on about the moment in Binxs quarters but I won't. (this is in fact a lie I absolutely am) Andhera trusts them enough to ask them to make him the outfit for the ball. The vulnerability and trust that Andhera shows and gives Binx without a second thought when showing them the shard. How Binx basically spits out her disgust for what the unseelie court did to Andhera. How Andhera is a oath of devotion paladin and he swears an oath to Binxs cause. The knighting of Andhera by Binx, someone who is not of his court but is more deserving of his devotion than his court.

The apple moment lives in my head rent free as well. Andhera has never truly known what it is to have a loving family and in that moment of sharing a memory he was able to experience it for probably the first time in their life. His life has been changed forever because of Binx, she lit the kindling for his happiness. For the happiness he experienced were mere sparks but this moment caused a fire.

I love them and their relationship means so much to me. Till next time thats all. :))

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

The phrase 'clown car coochie' is forever going to live rent free in my head. "Ma'am, this thing is the equivalent of a Smart Car, please leave your baby reader AU out of it."

The only kind of clown car coochie we going for here is if Dick Grayson goes undercover as a clown. Which probably has happened.

Don't get me wrong. There IS a place for a baby arc.

I just... get inundated with requests for it and it makes me tired.

I am both CF and unable to have children so. I have a lot of complicated feelings about it. On one hand, it's not an option and on the other, even if it was, would I want to? Or do I tell myself I don't to cope. Or worse, if I wanted kids do I want kids or do I want attention and validation because my fundie lite upbringing encouraged it at all costs?...

It's a lot. And frankly it's just something I like to keep in a locked box in the corner of my brain with the rest of my demons. So. Yeah.

[brendathedoodler]

Hey!!! I just found your Mr. L Hero AU, looked at everything you've done for it, and now I'm OBSESSED! I also have a few questions if you don't mind. :)

Was Mr. L recognized as Luigi by the heroes before they defeated and captured him or after?

Was Mario the first one to recognize him? I'm always torn on the direction of my headcanons about Mario and Mr. L. Part of me likes Mario recognizing him for the start and trying to reason with him while they fight. On the other hand, I also love the headcanon of Mario being in denial about any similarities between Mr. L and Luigi.

Besides appearance, what's your headcanon about similarities between Mr. L and Luigi? Do they have a similar way of speaking? Do they have the same areas of interest (I've seen some evidence in other games that Luigi likes building machines)?

I honestly have so many more questions, but I don't wanna seem too pushy, so I'll leave it here. Thank you so much for making an awesome AU that'll be living in my head rent-free for the foreseeable future! xD

Oh my goodness, you’re very sweet! I absolutely love questions, so this is making me absolutely giddy! I adore any opportunity to talk about my ideas!

Firstly, Mario recognized Luigi the second he heard his voice. He didn’t really register anything was off until Mr L landed directly on Squirps. He was still ready to brush it off as an accident and went over to greet his brother, but was stopped by Mr L’s monologue.

Mario was absolutely bewildered. He insisted the other two stand back while he handled the battle, but it didn’t go well. It was 90% Mario dodging and pleading with Mr L while getting jumped on, shot at, and insulted nonstop. Mr L probably would’ve won if Bowser hadn’t gotten sick of watching it and torched Mr L (which prompted the robot battle, Mr L’s defeat, and his capture).

Now, as far as similarities between Mr L and Luigi, I imagine Mr L is that he was given some pre-programmed aspects by Nastasia. He has a strong desire to prove himself (particularly to the Count), he enjoys the thrill of battle, he’s a mechanic who builds robots, and he doesn’t care much for morality. That’s the outline of the Mr L persona, but many aspects directly came from Luigi to fill in the blanks.

Luigi has a strong fear of undead creatures (specifically ghosts), and thus Mr L is afraid of dry bones. Luigi has a fondness for animals, and Mr L does too (though he’s embarrassed about it). Luigi’s best friend is Mario, and Mr L always feels like someone is missing (which is why he built brobot).

Luigi and Mr L have other similarities as well. Luigi is very clever with power ups, angles, and he has fantastic aim. This translates to Mr L’s robotic brilliance, which was a part of his personality programming. Luigi isn’t anywhere near Mr L’s technological skill, but he isn’t bad with technology either; if Mario ever needed help with tech, he’d go to Luigi.

Luigi and Mr L also have very similar ways of speaking, though the tone they speak in is completely different. Mr L uses a lot of words and phrases that Luigi does, stumbles over his words in the same way, and says figures of speech that only someone from Mario and Luigi’s home universe would know. Luigi can be kinda snarky and he has a little bit of a temper, but he usually keeps these snarky comments in his head or muttered under his breath in Italian. Mr L has no such qualms, and doesn’t hesitate to say those rude comments aloud.

It is interesting to imagine Mario denying any similarity, though I personally imagine Mario is happy to see any possible similarities. That means Luigi’s still in there somewhere, right? He doesn’t know what Mr L is feeling, or what’s going on inside his head. He’s terrified that his own sweet, clever, brave little brother is just… gone. Replaced by this Mr L guy, never to return. So long as he can find some similarities between Luigi and Mr L, he can feel more confident with the fact that he hasn’t lost Luigi forever.

Mario does, admittedly, have a hard time with Mr L. He keeps forgetting that no, this isn’t Luigi, and Mr L doesn’t react well to being treated like Luigi. Sometimes these reminders hit him like a truck, and Mr L tends to mock him for being emotional (at least at first, over time he gets a bit more sensitive about it). It hurts especially because his own Luigi was very emotional and unafraid to show it. He’d never mock someone for crying! Mr L would (and has).

One last thing I wanna mention is that many similarities between Luigi and Mr L haven’t come up simply because Mr L has never been in a situation that they’d appear. They both like jigsaw puzzles, have the same taste in music, and enjoy repetitive tasks like folding laundry. It’s not something that would be noticed, simply because Mr L is off adventuring rather than sitting at home or any other place he’d have the chance to do these things.

[scifigeekgirl]

just a sketch, I haven't drawn in forever, but ever since I saw this post the image of Tel with a baby in a sling has lived rent free in my head.

(i would fix the things I don't like but I tried and instead mama learned not to draw laying on the floor because a toddler who was very excited for Shrek to be on accidentally kicked my pencil and I lost the will to live)

lots of hair on the baby inspired by my latest baby. "Look at that hair!" Has been the #1 phrase I've heard for the past 5 months.