#a whisper of it even

[eggsmas-art]

⚠️ suggestive?? maybe?? ⚠️

a goemon I drew a month ago that a friend wanted to reblog🤭

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and an alt suggested by said friend 🐀💨

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[newborn-vessel]

You know with most hunts there's clear design and intent in the monsters. You can really see how much thought and effort has been put into making a creature that feels as though it is designed for its specific ecological niche. Every one feels like they fully thought out how it would work biologically and how it would feel to fight. Like they all have a place somewhere as though they're real animals. But they really knocked it out of the park with the rajang by somehow capturing the exact feeling of being beaten to death by a large ape. That thing slams me into the ground so hard I'm flinching in real life. It's giving me kin memories from that kid harambe ripped apart. One of the few monsters that feels like it genuinely wants me dead so badly. A true 1 to 1 recreation of falling into a chimp enclosure at the zoo. I don't even think it's trying to protect itself it just likes causing suffering. And even if you get away? Even if you run? Beam Attack. It so desperately wants to hurt you they gave it a gun. It's like scrabbling to the other side of a gorilla enclosure and then watching it pull out a fully working rifle. What do you even do with that. I think if the rajang could speak it would ask to be let loose in a populated city. It wouldn't even hesitate.

[comradesummers]

when you bash maddie for being a bad "parent" to buck, this is who you're being mean to btw

[odoraful]

⟡ i wish i can be your sanctuary until the end of time

⟡ i need to show them i already have a lover

⟡ let's push the what-ifs to the side

⟡ we'll just have to blame the moon

[raindropdragon]

Opportunist Long Quiet is absolutely terrifying

Like, holy shit, look at those TEETH

[cumcov3r3dang3l]

Does anyone want to be my dad and let me sit in their lap and squeeze me really tight?

[will-go-down-on-your-sister]

"Your usual?" YES PLEASE

[hello-car-fandom]

do it scared I IH6

pairing: bf! isack hadjar x reader word count: 1.2k tags: hurt and comfort, fluff, tiny tiny angst due to mc's insecurities, isack being the best boyfriend that he is in my head, badly translated french and mandarin, etc a/n: dedicated to @tsunodaradio. it seemed fitting that my first isack fic would be for you. hadjoints makes me happy but you make me happier <3

Isack was as dramatic as any Parisian could be. He would tell you every time that not every French was as over the top as you always say they were. The actual word is ‘expressive’. Thank you very much.

That's why you are shocked to the core when you said you wanted to break up and Shakespeare forgot to possess him like he always does. Isack froze for a second and then wanted to know where this came from.

“Was it anything I did, ma chérie ? Did I neglect you?”

He was patient and looked like he would wait until the Côte d'Albâtre was eroded away by the Atlantic Ocean. You didn't think you could bear to disappoint him by saying that it was because he is too cute. He felt too good to be true. So you mumble that it's a tiktok trend and walk away. 

………

The second time you told him that you wanted to break up was when you guys had the perfect day, the perfect date, and the perfect weather. You are laying down on his arm. his pulsing heart a companion to the blazing heat radiating from him. You snuggle into him as the cold wind nips at your neck even though there was no space between the two of you. Isack was mumbling like he always does and the cadence of his voice was getting lower with each passing sentence. It was the worst time to blurt out,

“I don't think this is working.”

Isack didn't even open his eyes to reply. “Ma moitié, I already told you I would request someone to fix our heating tomorrow. Do you want me to bring another blanket for us? C'est impossible to endure?”

There was a suspicious lump in your throat when you whispered, “I meant that I want to break up.”

He shifted until he had his arm across you and rubbed your arms. A puff of “We can talk about this tomorrow.” and he was out like a light. This conversation didn’t continue tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after next. Or in the next six months.

………

It picked up when you celebrated your second anniversary with a nice trip out to Shenzhen, China. You always wanted to walk the vibrant streets of Dafan Oil Painting Village. Isack always wants to give you anything your heart longed for.

Between inhaling your body weight in dimsum, giggling as you dared each other to try yā xīn, and the famous seafood dishes, you fell in love again with food and with Isack. This can't go on, you thought. How do I keep falling in love with him again and again? 

Final day of the trip was gently passing away with you glued to a painter mixing the most horrendous shade of blue and ending it with a finished painting that would have made Monet sell all his valuables to have it in his collection. Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, you were able to get it for 465 yuan. Hoisting your new favourite piece of art under your arm with one hand, you pattered off to where Isack was losing badly to a game of chess. The grandpa playing against him was looking at him with such adoration that anyone would think your boyfriend saved him from certain death and was not just getting his arse kicked by an 80 year old man.

“Okay, I thought it over. I want to break up for real.” You declared as you came to a stop.

Both Isack and the grandpa looked up in unison. In a blink you found your hand stuffed with a 10 yuan. The older man was pointing at the board and said, “Měinǚ jiějiě, qù hē zhenzou nǎichá bā. Wǒ hái xiǎng zài wán yī jú. Méi xiǎngdào quán shìjiè dōu méi rén bǐ wǒ wán dé chà.”

Mandarin was not a language that any of you picked up. But food is a universal language and you knew ‘zhenzou nǎichá’ was boba milk tea. You figured that he wanted to play another round with the money being a bribe for you to let your boyfriend play. 

You look at Isack and he shrugged his shoulders in a way that only he does. “We are not breaking up and can you get me one with sugar.” 

Giving up was the best choice since you already accepted the bribe and Isack’s bullheadedness. “Fine. But you are only getting the basic one. Someone's favourite brown sugar one is for ex-boyfriends.”

You sashayed away thinking that you had the last word but a distant “I think current boyfriends deserve a grass jelly boba” shout had you walking a tad bit faster.

You got him his grass jelly drink. Full ice too because that boy had you wrapped around his finger and the both of you knew it.

………

“Enough.” Isack grumbled. “I will try to be a bad boyfriend.”

“Hm?” You look up from your cards. It was game night and both of you were sitting on the floor with elbows being pressed into the kotatsu you insisted was a necessary addition to the household. Isack had his arms across the chest. His eyes were boring into you. “I know what you are gonna say now. Mon chou, I want to break up. Our relationship is not working. No more of this. Please.” His tone got smaller until it fizzled out in the end.

Your brain short-circuited. “How did you know?”

“You always do this. We are having fun. The cheese pizza hit the spot AND you were winning all the games. It is the perfect vibe so I knew that you would try to run away. I am not letting you go without an actual reason. Spill. Why do you hate me the most when I show you the most love?” Isack's chest was heaving by the time he was done. It broke your heart to see him in distress. “I could never hate you.”

His breath hitched. You could see him relaxing his stance as a tension left his body. “What did I do wrong? Please tell me.”

You finally had to admit to him you were scared that this was the best memory you guys would ever have. That something this perfect couldn't be true. “Mon cœur, I think you are too good to be true too. And I can't help but scratch the itch of wanting to tear out the lies.”

Isack runs his hand through his hair as he starts pacing. “So you always want to give up on me without letting me have a chance to show you that this is real. Our love is real and it's here to stay.” He continues in a tight voice, “Do you not trust me?”

“You know I do. With my whole life.”

“But not with our relationship.”

“I-”

“Sorry.” Isack cuts you off. “That was cruel of me. Can you just promise to trust me a bit more when you are happy? Trust me to make you happier?”

After this, whenever you wanted to pack up and leave because this boy was making you experience another heart-wrenching, high-inducing level of contentment you never thought you would reach, you would simply press a kiss to his hair. Isack knew what it meant. He would hold you a bit tighter and that was enough.

Love was scary. Trusting someone to love you was scarier. But you would live life to the full while being frightened. For him.

[willosword]

that's it im filing a restraining order against all these god damn freaks. what the hell

[kedreeva]

i have an odd animal husbandry question you seem like you might know the answer to, your comment about stan reminded me - ive been thinking about getting into backyard chickens for a couple years and the thing that makes me hesitate most is hard culling. im confident in my ability to put down an animal thats sick, or infirm, or for food, but for like, temperament? or for poor egg layers? just sticks on me for some reason. i think it would feel like telling them theyre not a good enough chicken for me. how to you process this part of animal husbandry?

This will be a little long, so bear with me.

If you want to keep use animals (animals bred for a purpose, to be used for a purpose instead of kept as a companion), you gotta get good with the idea that they are here for you under the agreement that you will only keep them as long as you need to. When you take them on, you are agreeing that you will release them to whatever their next life holds for them as soon as you do not need (or they've completed) their service. Maybe for some people that's just release to the biological cycle of life, for others maybe there's an eternal rest, for others maybe it's reincarnation. For soft culling that's just moving to the next household. Whatever it is, you are allowing them to pass to it in as humane a way as you can, and ultimately it is the single greatest kindness and gratitude you can show to them, to give them proper care while they are here and allow them to end with little to no pain- something animals outside of our care rarely get. You are thanking them for their service, and letting them go. Worth does not even begin to factor into it.

It is not easy to take a life. It is NEVER easy, regardless of reason, regardless of excuse, regardless of anything. It is ALWAYS heavy, and it will always hurt you. And it should. I am grateful for the weight of taking a life, because it reminds me that it is serious, and reminds me to take the production of life seriously, because at some point any life I cause to come into existence via breeding animals will have to end.

On top of that, some things ARE heath related that do not seem health related. Aggression in domestic animals IS A HEALTH ISSUE. A cock is aggressive because he is stressed about intruders, containment, mating threats, resource guarding, etc. Even with the best of care this can be true, and unfortunately for you both, this means the animal is not suited for domestic keeping. The same goes for animals (in any stripe of use, but particularly private care) that display repetitive stress behaviors from normal, proper captive care (for example, mice that are food chewing are stressed and should be culled from lines where possible because they are not having a good time). You are doing them a disservice to keep them in a stressful situation you cannot change because of their biology. It has nothing to do with not being good enough for you, and everything to do with producing/keeping animals that do not experience that stress in captive care and releasing the rest from duty because they will not be okay in any captive care.

For some issues (poor egg laying, for example) you CAN pet-home culls instead of hard culling. It's harder to do, you will spend time finding people who just want pets that don't intend to breed or don't care, but it can be done. However!! Is the bird just slow at producing eggs because her genetics say that's how fast eggs get produced, or is she producing slowly because there's a health problem that isn't immediately evident? Is her ovary damaged, is her reproductive tract infected, does she have a disorder that prevents her from processing food correctly so she can't get what she needs to produce eggs as fast as normal? Are you setting the bird up for failure (and someone else for heartbreak/money troubles) sending them to a pet home? Is it something which could lead to pain/suffering down the road if she's allowed to continue? Hard to say without spending a lot of money. Are you willing to risk your reputation, if someone takes a surprise illness/genetic issue down the road badly ("Oh THAT breeder sold me a sick/unhealthy bird/bird with bad genetics"), and compromise your ability to find homes for healthy birds down the road?

You are okay with culling a bird for food- there's nothing that says you cannot eat the bad temperaments, the poor egg layers, the one with genetic issues, and so on. And if you can tell early enough that you, personally, can't make use of the meat, there are plenty of folks with other animals that would LOVE feed for those animals. Take yourself down to a local reptile expo, grab the business cards for a few people who have big snake babies (retics, burmese, anaconda, redtail boa, even BP) that say they'd be interested in taking culls, OR look up local bird of prey rescues in your area (or reptile rescues or big cat rescues if there are any) and ask if they'd be interested in culls. There is ALWAYS someone that can use what you can't/won't. You may have to jump through some hoops to donate to some kinds of rescues (health testing for example), but it's an option you can look into if you want to combat the feelings you're talking about.

As a last note- and I am saying this gently and holding your face in both hands: do not anthropomorphize animals in reality.

In YOUR eyes, you are culling them an illness or an injury or for food or for temperament or for poor quality or or or---- it does not matter to the animal why you are culling them. A death is a death, to them. They are here, and then a thing happens, and they are no longer. They do not understand life or death or afterlife or reincarnation or that they are here for a purpose or not a purpose or literally anything you as a human might impose upon them in your head. They live while they are alive, and then they are not. They do not "want to live" in the "avoid death" sense because they do not necessarily understand "death" as a future concept. Instincts that have worked well to preserve life have been encoded in their DNA to one degree or another, they can and do respond to avoid pain, but with little exception (like... maybe elephants and dolphins and a crows and a few others), it's unlikely that they understand the connection between doing those things and being alive/avoiding death.

So while TO YOU it may feel like telling the bird they are not good enough, and TO ME it feels like allowing the bird to move on in peace... the bird doesn't know either way, and honestly the reason hardly matters. It is alive in the present, and one way or another it will not be alive someday, and you are responsible for making sure that the one way under your control is so peaceful or quick that the bird hardly knows it is no longer alive. The bird doesn't care about (and cannot understand) the why of their death, any more than they understand their pain/stress and how it relates medical assistance; it's why animals often freak out, refuse meds, etc. They don't hate the vet or the car or the carrier or anything- they just simply don't understand human stuff and react according to instincts/what they do understand. If you treat an animal like the animal it IS rather than the person you imagine it to be, you will find yourself with a lot better relationship with them during life, and be able to frame their passing a bit better later on.

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

You know I'm the only one who'll love your sins Feel the way my voice gets underneath your skin

++

full version + not insane eye version because im 😌😰😰

also og sketch just because i like it ;)

[cable-salamdr]

whispangle.............................................have you ever heard of whisper the wolf and tangle the lemur......................................................................................................................................................................................................... can you tell im normal about themmmmmmm....................... 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

So i’ve been hearing

Live laugh idiot yuri or whatever they say

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[keferon]

hey can you tag jazzprowl? love your art and creative au ideas but its a major notp for me :(

The filtering option was invented a while ago. Please use it instead of treating me like a browser with customizable interface😗❤

[szaryherbatnik]

Happy sarnax sunday!