#aaaaagh gotta go

[criminal-sen]

NEW CHAPTER OF IMPERFECT IS UP!!!! (18+, read my warnings n tags) I am not liable for any crying or screaming that may ensue upon reading<3

[ravonix]

Me: -agender, stops taking testosterone after 4 years, knowing full well and accepting that some changes will revert-

Estrogen: -doing its thing-

Me, upon looking in the mirror: who is this soft face fem bitch?? I dont recognize her?????

Dysphoria:

[wuntrum]

idk if you’ve seen “we’re all going to the world’s fair” but i just saw the director’s new movie “i saw the tv glow” and it reminded me so much of your new autobio comic… so incredible you have to watch it when it releases wide

AAAAAGH im soooo excited to see i saw the tv glow 😭😭😭 i saw we're all going to the world's fair at a local screening when it came out, i gotta rewatch it at some point...but yeah, i had a feeling already that i saw the tv glow is gonna like rewire my brain in an incredibly impactful way, but you saying this just like confirmed it for me. honored that my comic and that movie can exist in the same sentencE

[naffeclipse]

Me reading the start of the chapter, heart aching: remember it will be alright, they will share cheesy candy in valentines, it will be fine-

Ahhhh, Naff, this story just brings me life!

I knew the start was gonna pull no punches! I was very sure the night terrors would come with a vengeance but wow, the fact that they’re bad enough for y/n to wake up, (and remember them! Because I recall they said they usually didn’t remember what happened in those nightmares!)

And ouch, ouch, ouch, Moon was immediately there, and I wonder if they feel guilty for the terrors because it’s likely the demon encounter that caused them, and they just want to help and comfort them, especially now that it’s gotten so bad, but ahhh, they’re not welcome to do so! Because for y/n it’s exchanging one type of hurt for the other. The fear for their life vs the pain of feeling alone in the presence of someone you care about.

And perhaps they are being a little petty, but as they reflect, the care feels empty without the trust, and letting the boys care for them now feels like a reminder of the wall they can’t seem to get around and for which they don’t have a better explanation than “they don’t think I’m worthy of their trust”. This all just attacks directly the biggest insecurities of the hunter, and the toll it’s taking is clear as day. (Also I noticed there’s not a single ‘sweetie’ in this chapter ;o; ) But aaaaagh, the chosen fabric being set aside killed me! I’d forgotten that little project and now the fact that they don’t even want to look at it? Ahhhh my heart! I rambled so much about the symbolism of it last time and now it hurts all the more!

But oof, even through this fight that seems to have no end in sight, they still care so much for the boys! They take into account how much they care about children and are quick to not let them see the dead little ones. Y/n still wants to protect them as much as they can! And even though asking them to stay behind comes with the brutal honesty of ‘I need space’, they’re still sincere in not wanting to leave them, answering Sun’s question that was probably asking much more than y/n realized. Also, also, I loved the detail of them chastising themselves for thinking Sun’s eyes look red! Even when mad, they’re defensive of the boys and almost seemed like they were insulted on their behalf for daring to let the nightmares insinuate they would be something so vile (oh, honey, if you only knew)

Ha, of course, I didn’t expect the boys to ever stay behind XD They pretended to, as much as they could, and something tells me that that first instance of y/n feeling watched was not the cryptid, but the boys following from afar, since they looked back from where they were walking. Also would make sense, since the boys are familiar with the range of the detector! And they only entered the visible range when the other cryptid got too close. Clever guys! Y/n really should have considered they would be afraid of them not returning and after leaving on such bad terms (Though it seems this demon is pretty familiar with hunters and their tactics too huh?)

Speaking of which! Man, this cryptid! Oh, as soon as I read that it was hunting for tongues specifically and being so brutal about it, I immediately knew this was not gonna help the boys’ case later. What a similarity to have! (And also omg, I am going to make the prediction that this cryptid is so gonna lose its tongue, because there has been some poetic irony with a lot of the previous cryptids hehe).

And ahhhh, Naff, I just gotta say, the way you have established y/n as a capable hunter makes me realize how much I now trust them at it too! As soon as they felt something was off, I paused and thought back of the missing kid and why would the cryptid ever just take one when all others and previous cases have not been like that. And it occured to me that it could be using him as bait! And then I continued reading and y/n was on the same page and I felt so accomplished XD

(Also I gotta comment on how well this cryptid is suited to the desert environment! As soon as I knew there was an ambush, it reminded me of animals like the snake that buries itself in the sand to suddenly attack prey, or the antlion that waits for its prey to fall in its trap! So cool how it follows those types of dynamics!)

But ahhh, following along with the encounter, the dark liquid! I can’t tell you how much it took me by surprise to know that this was a demonic cryptid! The possession! (Can’t help but wonder if the demon made the poor kid kill his friends or if the possession was a last minute decision. But they disappeared a couple days ago, so it would seem he was kept alive. Maybe it always used one of the victims to attract more? )

The liquid! God, the evidence being thrown in y/n’s face, and yet, the unshakeable belief that a demon isn’t capable of anything but cruelty keeps them from (or makes them ignore) all signs that something like that could even remotely be the true nature of their friend! But so many cracks are showing, and soon that belief might not be as unshakable. Lambert agreeing with them for now might reassure them but oh boy, things are about to snap.

And speaking about snapping, hmmmm, next chapter is not gonna start too happy, I can tell. Sun and Moon deliberately went against the wishes of the hunter, which sure they didn’t agree to, but it was clearly something they were meant to listen to. Not only that, in the hunters eyes, they are the cause that the demon ran away. Usually when they intervene, y/n is in a tough spot, and though I agree that Lambert was being reckless, y/n and him did seem to have a chance, as the fight hadn’t quite started yet. The distraction, the idea that Sun and Moon had been in danger all this time, putting them in a bad light from Lambert’s position, AND especially, the fact that the boys seem to not respect their authority as an experienced hunter even when declaring that no cryptid can beat them, all that I can see making y/n really mad.

Oh and lastly, I wanted to comment on Lambert! I really like his character as I imagine he’s more along what the average hunter would be like! He seems more like what the hunter has described of Vanessa, so it makes me think that just like Sun and Moon are unique even among demons, y/n is unique even among hunters! Lambert’s way of doing stuff might not be compatible with theirs, his personality as well, but he obviously does his job well, and seems trustworthy when it comes to covering their back! Also, at the part where we find out his reaction to the night terrors, I imagine perhaps there’s a bit of y/n’s insecurities influencing how they perceived his reaction? He has seen The Horrors too. I doubt he was pitying or ashamed of them. He seemed to understand but this is a stranger and we know he is detached on the emotional side. But that’s just what it seemed like to me! In any case, uuuh, he really is in a tough spot now huh? He’s going against a very brutal demon, and he just accused Sun of being a cryptid, the very thing they’ve been terrified of y/n finding out and the cause of the current fight. Also, demons don’t have hearts so even killing the lizard demon won’t give them a meal so uuuuuh, yeah! Poor Lambert’s chances are… yeah XD

Omg this is so long already hgkfhdkd So as you can see, loved the chapter, so looking forward to the next, I am so excited for what’s coming! Amazing work, Naff!

Chaotik, I just have to say that your comments bring me to life! *smooch ya on the head*

Ahahha, good eye! Not one 'sweetie'. Funny how Y/N isn't in such a petname-giving mood ;-;

That little parting of ways was one of my favorite angsty scenes to write! There's so much hurt and honesty (and lack thereof) but then Y/N walks away from them and it actually doesn't help Y/N to focus or feel better like they desperately wanted it to.

Ah, yes! That was the boys that Y/N felt watching them! They never listen when Y/N tells them to stay behind smh

Hehehe, drinking up your little prediction ♥

YES! The tongue-eater is a cunning, terrible creature! I'm so happy that you trust Y/N as a hunter holding their own!!!

EEE! I'm also really happy you pointed out the animal-like behavior of the tongue-eater setting up a trap! I took a lot of inspiration from desert reptiles for this brute hehe

Lambert is tolerating Sun for the moment, but he's not entirely persuaded; we'll see that later.

You're correct that Y/N is mad and overall still upset with them! The boys, however, have their own bones to pick with Y/N and this particular hunt they went on.

Ah, I'm glad you like Lambert! I'm honestly a little surprised by the reactions to Lambert so far but it's really nice to see everyone discuss what amounts to an OC of mine that's here to help establish worldbuilding and propel the plot along. He is more along the lines of an average hunter! You're also right to point out that the hunter is projecting their insecurities onto Lambert's reaction to being told they have night terrors. Y/N is already so hurt and dishearted (heh) by Sun/Moon not trusting them that they're seeing things that aren't there. Lambert understands. He has nightmares, not night terrors, but nightmares, too, but he's got an iron wall built around his emotional compartment and nothing is getting in or out of that bad boy, so he came off a bit judgemental for not saying much about it. So, a little blame can go around to both of them for that little misunderstanding.

Demonic cryptids don't have hearts, but that doesn't mean there aren't hearts out in the desert. Ya know, waste not, want not.

Ahhh, thank you Chaotik! It's always a treat to read your thoughts and know that you're enjoying my writing! It means the world to me, babe ♥

[sunnixsunshine]

AAAAAGH I didn’t realize it was already 1:00 :( I gotta go to bed but look at Topher and his cracked ass phone with twilight sparkle charm ✨✨✨

[artzychic27]

any sb and ib spoilers or comics or artwork going to be posted later?

"Yeah." Ismael sits by Cosette and gives them a little nudge with his elbow. "And after you win and move on to the next round, we'll stop by your place and rub it in Yvette and Jordyn's dumb faces. We'll be like, 'Hey! Check it out! Your sister fucking won the stupid, pointless game show you nominated her for because you're assholes who wanted to see her fail!' How does that sound?"

"... Pretty damn good."

"Of course it is! But real talk, though, first, you gotta learn to groan right if you're gonna be all mopey."

"Hey, it groans fine," Denise chides.

Ismael shrugs. "It just sounds weird."

"Uuuuugh. How was that?" They can almost hear her smirking.

"So you groan, then, Ismael," Jean snickers, playing along. "If you're so good at it." "Aaaaagh." Aurore arches an eyebrow. "That's a groan?" "Yeah. Aaaaagh." Deciding to join, Marc steps in. "I'll do it. Let me do it. Uuuuuugh..."

[homu-san]

Dreadful Stories

Old Jack here with another ghastly tale inspired by Sage's Island's most unfortunate school. I'm calling it...

THE SURPRISE ENDING OF VIL SCHOENHEIT!

As a young star, Vil was famous for his looks.

Now at 18, he was all washed up. A has-been.

But in a lucky break, he'd been asked to showcase his signature look at a local convention for aspiring celebrities. It was just the boost his career needed!

Unfortunately, his looks hadn't aged well.

"Mmm. Getting better." "I think you just need the right motivation."

His biggest fan ( And right-hand man)

Rook was about to demonstrate when-

YAAAARGGGH!

"Now that was a great scream."

It was one of Vil's dormmates. He'd apparently gotten food poisoning and had to be rushed to the infirmary due to something Epel did.

"What was I meant to do? He was picking on me!"

"That's not a reason to give them food poisoning!"

So Vil got stuck at the dorms to teach Epel a lesson. His convention comeback was canceled.

RAAAAAGHH!

"Ok, I'm hearing frustration but I'm not hearing terror. What if I tried-"

*A GANG OF HOODLUMS IN HALLOWEEN MASKS HAVE BEEN TERRORIZING SAGE'S ISLAND TONIGHT! POLICE ARE URGING RESIDENTS TO-*

CRASH!

"That came from the basement!"

"You're right!" "Also, I loved your delivery on that."

"Why is the basement door locked?" "Because Epel likes to use it to sneak out."

"There's a key hidden in the music box. The secret is to keep winding... and winding... Until finally, the key pops out."

"Thanks, Roi de Poison." "I'll be back in a sec."

Twenty minutes later, Rook hadn't returned.

So Vil went to look for him. Right on cue.

He reached for the music box...

And as he wound the key, he listened for Rook but the dorm was silent.

He found one of Rook's arrows and imagined the worst.

*...THE GANG'S LEADER IS THE INFAMOUS HOOKMAN KILLER, DR. KARL HAMEL, WHO IMPALED AND ATE HIS FAMILY TEN YEARS AGO TONIGHT.*

The old fridge rattled and grew still.

ROOOAAAAAR!!!

"Oh dear!"

KRAK!

"AAAGHH!"

"Rook?!" "Roi de Poison, Relax. I was just trying to scare you to help find your scream."

"Well I'm not scared, Rook. I'm furious!"

"Then act furious! All I'm getting from you now is that you're hurt and confused and you're-"

SLAM!

He threw him out, but kept a little something to remember him by.

"Roi de Poison? Have you seen one of my arrows?"

And he was still holding it when he fell asleep watching the late-late picture show.

Hours later...

VIL!

"Epel? What's going on up there?"

AAAAAGH!

"Ok, I'm coming up."

"But if this is a trick, you're dead, Epel."

"Epel, Are you there?"

Epel had vanished. But his bedside radio was still on...

*-SAGE'S ISLAND POLICE DESCRIBE THE MAN AS 6 FEET TALL, WITH A STEEL HOOK FOR A HAND. RESIDENTS ARE URGED TO LOCK ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS AND NOTIFY THE POLICE OF ANY SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY-*

CREEEEEAAK

Vil turned, saw the Hookman, and...

"GASP!"

Was speechless.

He was quite smashing!

SLAM!

And whoever he was, he couldn't get enough of Vil!

"Ok, Vil, There's gotta be another way outta here!"

That night, he played his part beautifully.

Riddle's door hadn't been opened in years. The hinges groaned.

K-CRACK!!

He wasn't moving, but he sensed that the story might not be over yet.

The Hookman had vanished! He listened for his breathing but all he heard was..

DING

DONG!

At the door, he heard whispering.

*PSSSSST*

"Oh dear."

SURPRISE!

"GASP"

"BRAVO, VIL!"

"YOU WERE WONDERFUL!"

"WE LOVE YOU!"

His fans had come to surprise him! For Vil, it was a dream come true.

Then he saw what kind of monsters they were and he realized what was about to happen-

He was going to be famous.

And with his final breath Vil Schoenheit gave the performance of his life.

EEEEEEEAAAAGHHHK!!!

I wasn't there myself, but I hear Vil was magnificent!

"Poor boy! He had a taste for stardom..."

"...But unfortunately so did his fans!"

Of course the police blamed it on poor Rook, disappeared the same night.

And little Epel? Hiding under his bed the whole time!

He took it all pretty hard. But that's another story.

As for Vil, tucked inside the music box was all they ever found of him.

His ear.

Now that's what I call an ear-ie tale!

[warriorsofsplatsville]

Octa shook her head as she sat up. Well, she didn't think it was possible to even go unconscious in a virtual reality world, but here she was.

"Ohmycod!! Eight!!" Pearl exclaimed, zooming toward her. Pixels appeared around her, and she transformed from her drone body to her regular inkling body in a flash. "You alright? Your head hurting? Lemme check your eyes, kiddo!"

"I-I am alright, Pearl. Thank you." She put her hand outward to let the inkling know, pushing herself to her feet. "I am used to the bigger sort of falls. The two kids- they are alright?"

"Yeah, thanks to you. You broke their fall. Even though were in a virtual reality, seems that you can still feel pain. Annoying, if ya ask me."

"Oh! And Marina?"

"I've been waiting for you to wake up actually, Octa. I feel I have some explaining to do." Marina walked up to the two of them, the two agents in tow.

"Explaining...oh yes! Where are we, Marina?"

"We're inside a virtual reality known as the Memverse; it's a program that I designed for people, specifically those who have been sanitized, to regain their memories and sense of self." She explained, typing away at her laptop. "In fact, you should already be somewhat familiar. I had you playtest the beta version a few months ago while we were on the world tour."

"Hold up- so Octa knows about this place?" Mirage asked incredulously. "And she didn't say anything??"

"To be fair, the beta model of this place looked EXTREMELY different from now. I barely had the levels themselves modeled out. I bet she barely remembers me making her play through them."

"Yes...it all makes sense. I knew that the elevator felt familiar. You said that you wanted it to be like slowly rediscovering yourself, one step at a time." She nodded along.

"Yes...anyway, it was all fine, until it wasn't. There was a weak point in the main component of my system...one that I named Order. It went completely against my coding! Worse yet, someone found the insecurity and hacked into the Memverse and is changing it up! It's all going wrong..."

"Don't worry, 'Rina! We just gotta take out this hacker and fix the problem with the Order system right? You can just use your laptop and fix it!"

"I wish it was that simple Pearlie. You see...I may have borrowed the outline of the TARTAR program to make the Memverse. Permission from the human professor and Kama, of course. And uh...so you know those Sea Cucumber phones that have gotten crazy popular the last few years? Apparently, THOSE also used the outline of the TARTAR program, and...well, to not overcomplicate things, I may have accidentally gotten everyone that owns one of them sucked into the Memverse?"

Dead silence.

"How careless!!!" Minu exclaimed.

"I'm sorry! I had no idea the phones had the same coding! I meant to report it initially, but I got so caught up...ooh, I feel awful..."

"Nevermind. It doesn't matter now. Can't you just hard reboot the system?"

"That's the problem. You see, everyone has to be logged out before I can do that, but...there's THOUSANDS of people's consciousness logged into the Memverse. Dragged in against their will, unable to leave. If I were to do a hard system reboot, with all of us in here, it would sever the connection between our real world bodies and digital ones. In other words- we'd be stuck here forever. Goners."

"AAAAAGH! WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A SYSTEM THIS TERRIFYING?!?!?!" Minu exclaimed. "Then how are we supposed to get out?! Stop Tara?! Not die?!?!?"

"I do have one option for us: we stop the hack and malfunctioning software internally. We have to go to the control room. And the control room is-" Marina pointed to the top of the Spire of Order, which was now greatly expanded into the sky. "All the way at the top."

"So you are saying in order to save everyone's minds and stop Tara and Order, we must climb to the top of the tower?"

"Complete the game, yes. It's the only way! And you know what's in there already- it's a hefty task ahead of us."

"Nothing me and Eight can't pull off though! I can help her get to the top, no prob!"

"Pearlie, you're so amazing...!"

"Can we help too, or are we just sitting ducks?" Mirage asked in an annoyed tone.

"Oh, yes! Those lockers over there- they contain weapon palletes. I had downloaded weapon preference data from various people that I watched and heard from. If you look in there, you might find weapons suited to your style."

"Right."

The group head over to the lockers to check them out. "Sweet, a Tri-Stringer. Perfect." Mirage spun the bow around in their hands.

"Oh, that's Shiver's pallete!"

"Didn't realize Shiver used a bow..."

"You don't happen to have a spare pair of Dualies in here, do you?" Minu asked, looking through the lockers.

"I'm afraid not, little one."

"Here. You may use these ones." Octa handed the Dualies to the Inktoling girl. "I shall use this Splattershot."

"Oh, that's Agent 4's pallete! Good choice!"

"Oh, Theo..." Octa whined. "I hope we find him soon."

"Ah, right...Agent 4 is also stuck in here somewhere, isn't he?" Marina sighed. "What a mess this all is...I'm so sorry again..."

"Don't beat yourself up, Reens! It's all that Tara lady's fault!" Pearl winked.

"Oh! I do have something that might help!" Marina flipped her laptop open. "I may not be able to do a hard system reboot, but I can hack into the hacked system a little bit! If you ever need extra lives, extra damage protection or armor, more Pearl Drone upgrades, more rewards and cheaper vending machine prices- I can do all of that! I just need Prlz to power them- you should've gotten some on that last run through you did to save me! Here, I'll explain in better detail..."

-

"Are they seriously still trying? Those idiots!"

"Now, now, Mirai. Getting irrational will get us nowhere. You do want make a new world order, don't you? Where everyone is happy?"

"Of course I do! The world is terrible...but here, I can make a perfect world where no one suffers. Mama...Mama will be proud of me!"

"She will. But in order to do that...you must enforce the rules and stomp out any defiant ones."

"Stomp out the chaos..."

"You're a smart kid. Stick with me, and both of our dreams of a perfect world will come true."

"..."

[lasisgood]

AAAAAGH

my family bugs me. They're just getting back from a trip and they said they'd get me mcdonalds and I was like cool. Then they say they're getting something else and I'm like okay. But like I gotta change plans in my brain. Think of what they got on the menu and what I like. And I'm thinking. And they're like we've been traveling since 6 this morning! And I'm like ? And they think I'm mad. I'm not. I'm trying to think. Then they're like we've traveling all day! And they start ganging up on me. Getting mad.

And I go. I know. I'm just thinking.

Like for me my mind had to shift. From mcdonalds to Mexican. Like what do I want a burrito. A taco? A tamale?? Idk I gotta think. It takes me a min. And they always assume shit. And it's frustrating cause. I can't just know what I want right then and there.

I ended up getting a chicken burrito.

They completely misunderstood. Took my silence to mean anger, which it wasn't. I just had to shift my plans a sec. But they always do that. They always get upset.

And I'm like why?

[jrumbots-sandals]

Okay, so I wrote a HC fanfic, because why tf not. The idea wouldn't leave my head, so now you get to deal with it.

Based on @mayflowers07’s "I can be the one you call" series. In that series, there is an established code word on the Hermitcraft server for when a prank goes too far or when a hermit is in danger: "blue creeper." When a player says this phrase, everything stops to help the hermit in need. Please go read their series--it's amazing! The premise of this fic comes from that series as well, so I take no credit for the idea, just the execution!

This is my first HC fic ever, so there's probably a lot of errors when it comes to canon. Impulse and Tango are probably OOC. Timeline is all over the place because 1. I've been watching a lot of hermits, and 2. I'm watching everything out of order. Let me know your thoughts if you like! I mostly wrote this for me, but I wanted to share it anyway.

Anyway, here goes.

The Sleep Prank

WC: 3540

Bdubs was tired. It wasn't uncommon; he was, after all, the sleep master. He had a natural ability to fall asleep as soon as the sun began to set.

Today, however, was different. Where there was usually the pleasant sleepy feeling that accompanied the end of each day, today there was frustrated exhaustion. All because of Tango and Impulse's stupid prank.

It had been going on for three days now. The prank was funny at first— a TNT explosion rigged to blow when Bdubs went to hit his bed. The first time it had happened, he had just finished clearing out most of a nearby sand biome, grabbing a large quantity for the concrete shop. At 10 pm precisely, he took out his trusty bed he travelled with, he set it on the ground and prepared for his nightly shreep sleep. When it happened, he had shrieked loudly and fallen off the bed, causing his fellow Boomers, who were hiding behind a nearby dune, to cry with laughter.

"Very FUNNY!!!!!" he had yelled in his trademark over-exaggerated voice. "Mess with ol' Bdubs while he's tryin' to sleep. You think that's FUNNY, don't you?!"

"Yes, actually," cackled Tango. "It's hilarious. Oh, your FACE…"

The laughter went on for several minutes, Bdubs pretending to be angry while the other two collapsed on each other in laughter. But Bdubs had taken the prank good-naturedly, and soon enough the other two left and he was alone again. Slightly shaken up, he picked up his things and headed to his base, ready to actually get some sleep.

The second time was still funny. Impulse and Tango had trapped his home beds to do the same thing, which didn't hurt Bdubs or any of his things, but did make him jump out of his skin. The two had clearly been expecting this, because soon after, his communicator buzzed:

ImpulseSV: TANGO IT WORKED

TangoTek: HAHAHHAHA YESSSS

TangoTek: Get some nice sleep Bdubs? >:)

Glaring at the offensive messages, he typed back:

BdoubleO100: NO >:(

BdoubleO100: YOU FOOLS SCARED ME SO BAD

BdoubleO100: You guys are the WORST

BdoubleO100: Trapping my BEAUTIFUL HOME

Bdoubleo100: I'll get you for that

Bdubs laughed as he typed out his mock rage. But it was all in good fun, both Bdubs and the Boomers knew.

Now slightly wary of the many beds he had around his base, Bdubs got up from the current bed, no real goal in mind besides getting away from the beds for a little while. It was 10:32 now. Usually, he would already be asleep, ready to skip the night and start on more building projects in the morning. Nursing a slight headache, he picked up a book from one of his many decorative bookcases and sat down away from any beds to read.

20 minutes later, eyes heavy from reading and body tired from the day, he cautiously hit a bed for the third time. Nothing happened. He sighed in relief, already starting to fade into sleep.

And then it happened again. An explosion of TNT, to his right.

"AAAAAGH!!" he screamed, again startled by the prank. This time, he heard a dispenser fire, and suddenly he had a piece of paper in his hand:

GOTCHA!!!!!! — your fellow boomers :)

With a stab of annoyance, he crumpled up the paper and huffed downstairs. Grabbing some rockets and a few blocks of wool, Bdubs took off into the night, heading...somewhere. He didn't know where he was going, besides away, away from his base and the stupid bed prank.

He touched down a few hundred blocks away from his base, finding a decently-sized patch of grass sheltered from the outside by the overhang of a small cliff. He spread out the wool and placed a few torches for safety. Without a true bed, the game's code wouldn't let him instantly sleep and skip the night like usual, but he could still sleep the old-fashioned way. Though not as substantial in length or quality, he would still get some rest, ready in the morning to dismantle all the stupid bed traps around his base and then get some real work done.

Sighing quietly, he laid down, closing his eyes and falling into an uneasy rest. It only lasted half an hour or so, just long enough for Tango and Impulse to find him and set off some more TNT. He woke up in a panic at the thunderous sound, disoriented.

"WHAT THE FU-"

He was interrupted by his two tormentors howling with laughter, peeking out from behind a tree not far from his sleeping spot.

"Sup Bdubs! Get some good sleep?" Tango called, smugly.

Impulse was doubled over beside him, absolutely cackling. "Yeah, you thought you could run away huh? Oh Bdubs…"

"Oh veRY FUNNY!" he tried, but his voice and face betrayed his tiredness and annoyance.

"Ha, ha, yes hilarious, now will you leave me alone?"

Tango gave him a cruel smirk. "Well why don't you try to sleep again and find out?"

His heart sank, seeing how invested the two were in this prank. They really weren't going to let him sleep.

"Please?" It was a pitiful request, free of any of the usual amusing inflection in his voice. Tango and Impulse looked at each other, having a silent conversation. Finally, Impulse spoke.

"Okay, if you can make it to tomorrow without sleeping, we'll let you off the hook. We just wanted to see how long you could go," he said, laughing.

"Yeah, Bdubs, it'll be a great challenge for you! See you in the morning then?" asked Tango.

Bdubs considered their offer. What choice did he have? He could make it through one night.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll just...read or something."

The Boomers smiled.

"We believe in you!"

"Bye Bdubs!"

They flew off into the night, leaving him to face the rest of the long night alone.

***

It was painful, but Bdubs made it through.

Grabbing his things, he took off back toward his base, thinking about the day ahead. He had some farming to do, a small shack to finish detailing, and the concrete shop to restock. Not to mention finding all the Boomer traps in his house. Then he would go to bed early and be done.

The day passed uneventfully, with no bed-related explosions, thankfully. Bdubs dug out all the blocks around the many beds around his houses, ripping out the offensive redstone wiring whenever he found some. He pocketed the TNT. It served Impulse and Tango right.

Bdubs really didn't do well without at least 8 hours of sleep. It was just how he operated. A full night of quality sleep was essential to keeping up with all the building work on the server and keeping up his happy, boisterous personality. The effects of no sleep were already wearing on him. He had been grumpy and distracted all day, trying to keep his eyes open long enough to not fall asleep on his feet. While working at the concrete shop earlier, he had dropped a block of the stuff on his foot. Swearing loudly and hopping on one foot, he slammed the door and left the building, only to find someone he really didn't want to see: Impulse.

"Hello, Impulse," said Bdubs stiffly.

"Bdubs! Get some good sleep? Oh wait!" Impulse chortled.

He restrained himself from telling Impulse just exactly what he thought of their stupid prank and no sleep challenge (some of the younger hermits were nearby, after all). Instead, he forced out a laugh and put on an overexaggerated expression of indignance.

"You and Tango, I can't believe you would mess with my sleep. Do you KNOW how hard that was? I'm-I'm gonna fall over or something!" He yawned dramatically, pretending to start falling.

Bad idea. He lost his balance for real and fell, slamming into the ground. Impulse just laughed and helped him up, unaware that he wasn't joking.

"Boomers gotta boom, Bdubs."

"Fair enough. Imma get you back though. So you better WATCH OUT!" Bdubs grinned mischievously as Impulse sprinted away in mock fear.

Once he was out of sight, Bdubs slumped over, rubbing his hip where he had fallen. This prank was really starting to take a toll on him.

The rest of the day passed fine, but Bdubs was on edge, finding himself becoming annoyed at little things— the sound of blocks scraping against each other in his inventory, the lowing of animals around the village, the rockets being fired by a passing hermit. He brushed it off, knowing he just needed sleep.

That night, he looked cautiously at his bed. Even though he had checked underneath it earlier and found nothing, the Boomers were some of the smartest redstone workers on the whole server; they could definitely hide traps Bdubs would never find. And now that they knew that disrupting his sleep would get him so riled up, they were bound to do it again, even if he had technically completed their challenge.

Sighing, he flew back to the grass patch from the night before, this time with more wool. Settling down, he tried to fall asleep and realized he couldn't. Despite being bone-tired from last night and a long day today, sleep wouldn't come. A slight panic came over him. He had never not been able to fall asleep before. Was it stress? Anxiety? Both, probably, he thought.

Sighing, he propped himself up against a nearby wall and slapped on his communicator, needing a distraction. He scrolled through the day's messages, laughing at some:

Grian: Guys mumbos AFK again

Grian: What should I do to him

Iskall85: push him in a hole and then cover his floors with ice lol

Xisumavoid: New potion building is open! Free for all my hermits :)

Stressmonster101: Are u tryin' t put me outta business?

Stressmonster101: ill get u for that X, i will

Smiling at his friends' antics, Bdubs moved to get back into bed. But he was still uneasy— something felt off. Scowling at the thought of being woken up by another explosion, he turned over and closed his eyes, trying his hardest to sleep.

Except his paranoia had been for good reason.

Because moments later, TNT went off, startling Bdubs awake. Well, not awake. He never really got to sleep, but he was getting close, and now the goddamn TNT was back.

Groaning in frustration and cursing under his breath, he sat up to look for the victory message he had come to expect. Sure enough:

ImpulseSV: WE GOT HIM AGAIN BOYS

ImpulseSV: aGAIN AAGSAJH

TangoTek: Take notes, ladies and gentlemen

ImpulseSV: Bdubs weve been waiting like an HOUR for you

TangoTek: WORTH IT

TangoTek: lol

Bdubs played along, sending a funny message back, but he was privately glad it was over the communicator and not in real life. He was pretty sure he would have straight up punched the two in the face if they had been nearby. He had done the challenge. It had been over 24 hours since he had slept. Couldn't they leave him the hell alone already?

He thought about trying to be serious with him and ask them, point-blank, to stop. Surely they would see how much they had put their friend through and end it. They weren't that cruel. Right?

Huffing in frustration, he packed up everything he had brought and trudged back to his base. If he was going to get pranked again, he may as well be comfortable at home.

Once he reached home, he threw his things down unceremoniously. Dammit. He should really be sleeping by now. Instead, he tapped his foot anxiously, trying to figure out what to do. He really didn't want to risk another bed-splosion.

He went an hour or so wandering around his base, organizing things and doing odd jobs here and there, and by then it was 11:23. But Bdubs couldn't get himself to try the bed, no matter how much his tired body screamed at him to. He wouldn't do it, not when he knew he would probably just be woken up again. So he kept finding things to do. 11:30 turned to 12 am, turned into 2:30, turned into 5:00 am, and suddenly it was light outside.

Oh. That was bad. He hadn't slept in two nights.

Closing his eyes where he stood, he swayed slightly as he clenched his jaw. Two nights. Goddammit. He realized with horror that he could feel tears beading up in his eyes. This wasn't sustainable.

He took a deep, centering breath and thought about everything he had to get through to finish this never ending day. Groaning at the thought of getting through another day, he made a decision. He would just have to talk to Impulse and Tango. This wasn't happening anymore after today.

***

So today, he was tired. And crabby. He had been awake for over 80 hours, and Bdubs was in a mood and a half because of it. He snapped at Scar during a mayoral meeting, shoulder-checked Mumbo "on accident" while passing him in the shopping district, and kicked down a particularly ugly flower in front of the Barge. He looked terrible, too, with dark bags under his eyes, uncombed hair, and wrinkled clothes he hadn't taken off in two days.

Several hermits passing through the shopping district gave him worried, questioning looks, making him even angrier. He tried to reason with Ren, who saw him and stopped to say hello, and tell him he was perfectly fine, thank you very much, but his argument was weakened by the way he tripped and nearly faceplanted over a small bump in the road.

"You really don't look good, my dude, you need to take a break or something," laughed Ren, lending him a hand to pull himself and looking at him with a mixture of amusement and concern.

"Well I'm fine, so leave me the hell alone," he snarled in response. The other man had just raised his eyebrows and walked away.

After, he decided to go to his concrete shop to calm down and try to get away from everyone. He pulled out a spare bed and looked at it longingly. Maybe the prank was truly over now? It had been a bad day, and he was so tired…a nap wouldn't hurt.

Lying down gratefully in the comfy bed, (had it always been this comfortable? surely not) he felt the familiar pull of sleep. Just as he was about to doze off, it happened again.

The godforsaken TNT went off.

Bdubs lost it.

"GODDAMMIT TANGO AND IMPULSE YOU SONS OF-"

He was interrupted by laughter from the very two he had just cursed at. They emerged from a door in the wall sneakily hidden by pistons, cackling and falling over each other.

"Oh my God, he actually fell for it-"

"I can't believe it worked-"

"No, Impulse, cause he's so predictable-"

Bdubs closed his eyes, ignoring the way it made the world spin around him, just trying to block out the incessant, annoying laughter filling his ears. He could do this, he just needed to put on a smile and pretend it was all funny-

"He can't go ONE NIGHT without a bed, the precious baby boy," wheezed Impulse.

"Widdle Bdubs is scawed of the dawk, isn't he?" mocked Tango.

He tried to block it out. It's funny, it really is, it's just a prank. Chill out, Bdubs.

"What would we do without him protecting us from all the scaaawy mobbies?"

Tears welled up in his eyes for the second time that day. He was actually afraid of the dark, deathly afraid. It wasn't just a joke to him, they didn't understand...

"Oh, I'm Bdubs, I have to sleep in a bed otherwise i'll get SCARED-"

"SHUT UP!" roared Bdubs. "SHUT UP GODDAMMIT THIS ISN'T FUNNY-"

"Oh but it IS, Bdubs," Tango wheezed, "Cause you fell for it like FIVE TIMES AHAHA-"

He couldn't do this.

"BLUE CREEPER!" he finally yelled, desperate to stop their taunts, to stop everything about the awful prank. The laughter of the other two men died down, finally quelled by the use of the code word.

"Oh shit, Bdubs, are you good?" asked Impulse.

"Yeah, man, sorry, that was the last one we set up," said Tango, shrinking back a bit.

Bdubs hated that they were so suddenly worried about him. As if they hadn't just been making fun of something very important to him, as if this was all a joke. It wasn't funny. They knew he needed sleep and that he was afraid of the dark, of the mobs-

"Bdubs? Buddy? Hey, are you alright, what's wrong?"

But he wasn't paying attention to them. Breathing heavily, he pushed past them, running somewhere, anywhere but here with the other two. He found a corner and pressed himself between the two walls, hiding there for a moment, before reaching for his communicator.

BdoubleO100 whispers to Xisumavoid: blue creeper please come please need help i cantt do it anymore

Tango and Impulse found him there, and they approached him like he was a scared animal, hands raised and eyes wide. Bdubs just hid from them, hoping that-

Teleported Xisumavoid to BdoubleO100.

Thank God, he thought, as he saw the familiar yellow armor. Because suddenly the admin was there, looking at Bdubs with deep worry and care.

"What's happened?" Xisuma asked gently, tipping Bdubs' face up to meet his eyes under the visor. He jerked away, trying to hide his face and his tears. Xisuma instead posed the question to Impulse and Tango, who were looking guilty as hell.

"We sorta played a prank on him…" Impulse said sheepishly.

"Yeah," Tango added, "we just thought it would be funny-"

"To do what?" the admin cut him off sternly.

"...To make TNT explode every time he tried to sleep."

Xisuma glanced back at Bdubs with worry in his eyes. "Why would you do that? You know how he feels about the night!"

At the mention of his fear, a sob escaped him. He slumped to the floor, exhausted. He was so tired, so angry, so embarrassed. He looked back at X, sending a plea with his eyes.

"Please, 'suma, I just...just wanna sleep."

"I know, my friend."

Xisuma left the builder on the floor and stood up to face the pranksters.

"I expect you two to take down everything you set up to explode. Then I expect you to apologize to your friend once he gets some real rest. You took it way too far." He made sure to look both of them in the eye through the tinted visor.

The other two Boomers expressed their agreement and walked out, clearly embarrassed.

An ugly part of Bdubs' mind said good, they should be embarrassed. But he could barely find the energy to be mad anymore. He just wanted to sleep.

Xisuma turned back to him and helped him off the ground. Bdubs all but collapsed into the admin, finally letting some of the tension in his body dissipate. Xisuma shifted to support his mostly dead weight, chuckling softly and giving him a gentle hug.

"Sorry...couldn't take it anymore...goddamn TNT... bullshit," he mumbled.

"Hey, it's quite alright. Let's find you a bed somewhere in my base. I'll patch the code so you can sleep in an actual bed during the daytime. Does that sound okay?"

Bdubs half-sobbed, half-laughed into Xisuma's shoulder. "Yes please. It's… been… long few days."

Teleported Bdoubleo100 to -487.00, 45.00, 1,256.00

Teleported Xisumavoid to -487.00, 45.00, 1,256.00

Once they both successfully reached Xisuma's base, the admin pulled out a bed and set it down in a small building that definitely wasn't trapped. Seeing Bdubs looking at it nervously, Xisuma dug out the blocks underneath, showing no redstone trickery. At last, Bdubs let himself fall into the bed, eyes sliding shut instantly, his body finally free of the tension of the past three days.

Xisuma gently laid a blanket over the man, ruffling his hair fondly and smiling when he moved his head to get closer to the touch. Bdubs mumbled something, trying to thank X, but it was incoherent, his brain too tired to form actual words. The last thing he heard before drifting off was...

"Goodnight, Bdubs."

[quillsink]

hii what's your favorite little writing thing in poetry or literature? I'll go first: I love it when a character is summing up something and most of the things are just normal and there's one bonkers thing slipped in there. I also like unreliable narrators because it's like there are two stories, one is how the narrator wants it to be and one you have to kind of piece together yourself

-🌻anon

ooooh yeah i love both of those omg

AGH there are so many things omg,,, all my friends growing up were books rip so i have too many 😭

okay there’s probably some weird word for this i will learn in lit class but i love it when authors use words that aren’t supposed to describe something to describe it?? like i love it so fucking much

second is when the author like, uses the setting to convey what’s going on with the characters,,,like in richard siken’s little beast the first part he uses the setting of the night to show the character UGH i love it sm

also this isn’t a little thing but i fucking love dialogue. it’s my favourite thing to write and my favourite thing to read. you learn so much more abt the characters and aaaaagh i love it, i love writing their dynamics sm

also, second person pov is v v interesting if it’s done well. i remember as a kid i read a short story with that pov, the name escapes me? it was about the son of a mexican immigrant in us who played basketball over the summer in a gym and it was VERY well written, so yes second person pov done well is *chefs kiss,* as chloe says.

ALSO ALSO ALSO when the authors doesn’t outright like, say a lesson but you gotta learn it yourself? i hate shit where stories are like “he was greedy and he faced the consequences, don’t be greedy!” i will kill on SIGHT. fucking make it more subtle and use other shit when it’s done well it’s really good

also i love like, callbacks + parallels? like when something happens earlier in the book and then the characters develop and events occur anf the *same thing* happens, but now it’s with developed characters and a changed world and UGH my heartttttt

anyways. sorry i kinda went off rip i just love literature + poetry

[achtung-attitude]

“Hands up in the air!” one of the cops demands.

Without skipping a beat, Moya declares, “I’m LAPD Special Investigator, Moya Pezzente.” She raises her hands but steps forward authoritatively. “Badge number 71520. Get on the radio and ask your sergeant about me, then get out of here! We need riot squads down here ASAP, and a full-!!”

“FFfUckiNg piIIgs!!!” roars a delirious voice. The cops are blindsided by a heavyset man charging into their midst. The same man that threatened Sunmi before tackles the lead officer, throwing him to the floor and clawing at his face. “ALllwAyS pullIN’ me OvER fffOr nOthiiInG!!!”

“AAAAAGH, WHAT THE-!?!”

T’onga and Moya watch transfixed as the cop on the ground raises his gun and blows a hole through the fat guy’s chest. Despite this, he keeps up the assault as if the wound isn’t there. His fingernails dig into the cop’s eyes, pulling one out. The policeman howls in pain and aims for his head.

T’onga blinks, and shouts a warning. “No, wait, don’t-!!”

Her warning goes unheeded. The officer fires and blows a hole through the fat man’s head. The heavy caliber bullet sprays blood and brains all over, splattering the other police officers’ faces and  getting in their eyes and mouths. A dreadful quiet takes over.

T’onga had the wherewithal to cover hers and Moya’s face before the shot let fly. As they raise their heads, her worst fears are confirmed at the sight of the cops, wiping the filth off their faces to reveal bloodshot eyes.

The lead officer picks himself up and aims his weapon at the women again, only this time with menacing intent. A crazed smile pollutes his face, as one of his eyes dangles out of its socket. 

“wHo Said yOu cOUlD LOweR yOUR HanDS, HuH? i’m AN oFFIcER OF THE lAW, Hear me?! yOU hAVe TO Do What i say…! wHaTeVEr i SaY…!!”

Moya gazes in horror at the newly infected cops, who giggle as they raise their weapons. By now, a crowd has gathered to observe the commotion from a safe distance. The infected cops notice them the same time Moya does. “D-don’t…” she mutters, but to no avail. The police officers’ attention turns from them to the crowd.

“NOOO!!!”

The first shot rings out, and chaos ensues. The crowd scatters, just like at the Chinese Theater. People are gunned down as they try to flee. Some of the infected cops make a game of it, blowing off arms and legs. They laugh as random people die, blood pouring from the sidewalk onto the street.

Moya marches towards the infected cops with her Stand manifested, but T'onga holds her back.

“We can’t help them, we gotta go!” she shouts, pulling back the taller woman with all her strength.

Moya breathes frantically, eyes darting to the dying civilians and their deranged killers. Her anxiety descends into despair as the cops move away to pursue more victims. But in doing so, they clear a way to their squad cars.

“Come on!” she shouts desperately, running to the nearest car. With both doors already open, they climb in, Moya taking the drivers side. To her dismay, she finds the keys absent, most likely held by one of the killer officers. 

Wordlessly, she crouches to begin hotwiring the vehicle. T’onga watches her with growing anxiety, especially when the infected coffee-pouring woman from the shop forces the door open and spots her. The assassin locks her door. “Pezzente, any time now…!”

The detective struggles to cross the correct wires. The car remains dead. “Pezzente…!” T’onga calls, the infected woman drawing closer, smiling gleefully with bloody teeth.

Finally, the car roars to life and Moya scrambles into the driver’s seat. The frantic woman sprints to the car and begins pounding on T’onga’s window, trying to smash it open. “Pezzente, floor it!!!”

Moya hits the gas, reversing so fast she collides with another cop car. The vehicle shudders and its occupants are thrown back and forward. They recover quickly, and Moya floors it once more, peeling back out onto Hollywood Boulevard, leaving the infected in their dust.

They pull on their seatbelts. Moya snatches the police radio and screams orders down the line.

“Dispatch! This is LAPD Special Investigator Moya Pezzente, badge number 71520, advising all available squads!! Riot in progress on Hollywood Boulevard! Multiple cases of murder and aggravated assault! Several officers down, but do not engage!! Maintain a perimeter around the street!! Do not allow the assailants out! DO NOT LET THEM OUT!!!”

With that, she slams the radio back into its holder and drives, continuing east. Right now, all she wants is distance away from the nightmare she has fallen into.

                                                       ***

Sunmi strolls through the chaos, her ears plugged with headphones hooked up to her iPhone. A fresh swarm of her Stand, QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE, flies out of her, as she sings along to the music in her ears.

“Run rabbit, run rabbit

Run, run, run!

Run rabbit, run rabbit

Run, run, run!

Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang

Goes the farmer's gun.

Run rabbit, run rabbit

Run, run, run!”

END OF CHAPTER 55

[defdreamz]

HAHAHA FAE IM NOT SORRY 😂😂😂 TOP OF DA MORNING TO YA, FAE!!! Go refresh yourself and have breakfast 😂 im sorry, i still cackling like a villain here HAHAHHA AND I CANT WAIT TO READ IT HDHDBD I JUST KNOW ITS GONNA MAKE ME LOSE MY DAMN MIND AAAAAGH You play it casual, cracking jokes with his members while your hand still resting his tummy. He’s already halfway getting into subspace and nuzzling to your neck and when a camera pointed at him, you help him and say smile to the camera hdjs [🥴]

IM DEADASS EATING PANCAKES RN AND THIS ASK JUST MADE ME 🥴 🗣

wow- just imagine chilling w him with the rest of got7 and he’s plugged full of ur cum.

and ur hand is resting on his lower tummy, mindlessly rubbing it or applying slight pressure from time to time

he as time goes on, he falls more and more into his subspace and begins to cling onto u (more than he does normally) and he’s whimpering softly into u and ready for you to help him out—

and omg- u gotta help him out w everything bc he’s so deep in his headspace that the only thing he can think of is being so full cum 🥴

[muwi-translates]

剣が君 特典ドラマCD 若葉風奇譚 ～江戸花嫁騒動の巻～

Ken ga Kimi Tokuten Drama CD - Strange Tales of the Early Summer Breeze ~Edo Bride Scandal Volume~

Nine track hour or so long drama. No spoilers. As usual, Chinese source with light Japanese referencing.

**Please don’t move this translation or claim it as your own.**

Track 1 - Prologue

Everyone: M-Marriage?!

Enishi: Shh! You’re too loud!

Tsuzuramaru: S-Sorry… but, Miss is getting married…?

Enishi: Well, who wouldn’t be surprised? That one day our princess would actually become a bride… Ugh, those pink cheeks, that silky skin— I can't believe it’s all going to another guy…Gaaah! Princess!!

Saneaki: No, wait, are you sure? It’s so sudden it’s a bit hard to believe.

Suzukake: S-Saneaki’s right! What if you got it wrong? If… if… she got married, I’d get lonely…

Sakyo: You two need to calm down. No matter how much you panic, the problem won’t solve itself. First, let’s listen to what Enishi-dono has to say.

Sakyo: Now then, Enishi-dono. Quickly, tell us what is happening. Hurry and tell us everything you know…!

Kei: You’re the one who needs to calm down! You’re gonna kill him! Let go!

Sakyo: Ah, my deepest apologies. I got a little too… very well, please explain.

Enishi: *gasp* *gasp*...I saw heaven for a second there…

Saneaki: You were really hanging on by a thread there, Enishi-dono.

Enishi: As if you cared about me at all!

Enishi: Anyway, I understand how Sakyo feels. I don’t want to accept this just as much as you guys. The princess getting married to some man…

Tsuzuramaru: I don’t want to think about it!

Enishi: Exactly, to not think about it is to not believe it.

Kei: You’re the one who said it, how could you not believe it?!

Enishi: It’s true I don’t believe it, but I heard it myself.

Suzukake: Heard it? From where?

Enishi: I went to a cloth dealer I knew, and he was talking to me about how his son was getting married soon. Was bragging about how amazing his partner was. I was listening pretty intently, but the more he spoke, the more I thought he was talking about our princess. Eventually I figured out that he *was* talking about our princess, so I ran without even finishing my sake!

Sakyo: And then you summoned us here, yes? I will not say anything about you drinking in broad daylight, I understand the situation well enough.

Enishi. That’s right. That’s why I had to gather all my friends from our journey together from the bridal procession. This is the most serious of emergencies, right? It looked like the cloth dealer’s wedding gift was almost done being prepared, so I thought it would be better to tell you guys as soon as possible.

Kei: Ha. This is stupid. I thought something had happened, but that’s it?

Saneaki: Kei-dono? What’s wrong?

Kei: What do you mean what’s wrong? Cut it out! I was wondering why we had to be called here when it’s just about a girl getting married.

Enishi: You say that, but weren’t you the quickest here?

Kei: Shut up! I… just happened to be nearby!

Tsuzuramaru: Hm? But on my way here a man that looked just like you sped right past me. Did they just happen to look alike? I was walking pretty quickly but he still managed to pass me and disappeared. What a truly extraordinary person…

Kei: *punches Tsuzuramaru* S-S-S-S-Shut up! Stop yabbering! Besides! Enishi, I don’t believe what you’re saying at all. You must have made a mistake when you were all smashed.

Saneaki: Kei-dono is right. If she really were to be married to someone, she would have no reason to hide it from us—

Suzukake: Aaaaah!!

Kei: W-What is it now?

Suzukake: I-I just remembered… when I was delivering medicine earlier, I passed by Princess’ storefront. I think I saw some congratulatory gifts from a dowry being brought there...

Saneaki: What? If that’s true, then what Enishi said might have some weight…

Tsuzuramaru: Ah… it seems that way…

Enishi: Why don’t you guys trust me but trust Suzukake?!

Tsuzuramaru: If this is really happening then… Miss is really being married to some man… Aaaaagh…

Kei: Argh! You’re so loud! Don’t hold your head and start screaming! Oi, Sakyo, don’t just sit there, say something!

Sakyo: Unforgivable.

Kei: Hah? Why’d you stand up for?

Kei: ...Why’d you take your sword? …What are you planning on doing?

Sakyo: What, you ask?

Sakyo: Is it not obvious? I will cut that man.

Suzukake: Cut?! C-Calm down, Sakyo-san!

Tsuzuramaru: Y-You can’t do that!

Saneaki: That’s right, Sagihara-dono. You shouldn’t cut people.

Sakyo: But…!

Saneaki: Even if you injured him, that would change nothing.

Tsuzuramaru: Exactly!

Saneaki: It should be enough to exile him to a deserted island—

Tsuzuramaru: Saneaki!! You can’t do that either!

Kei: Saying some real scary stuff like that… are you forgetting there’s a patrolman here listening?

Enishi: In any case we’re not accepting this marriage. Everybody agree?

Sakyo: I have no complaints. This situation must be stopped, no matter the means.

Kei: You’re scaring us, you need to cool off!

Suzukake: I… I’ve always wished for the Princess’ happiness…so if she really wants to get married, I won’t stop her. But… but, if she’s hesitating even a little… then I hope I’ll be able to convince her to think about it again.

Tsuzuramaru: I’m the same. No matter what, I have to show her my feelings first!

Sakyo: Indeed. I may have been a bit rash...

Kei: A *bit*? A bit my ass. I don’t care what you guys do as long as you’re not cutting down people. And no exiling either!

Saneaki: I will think about it.

Kei: Don’t ‘think about it’, don’t even think about it at all!

Saneaki: No matter the case, I cannot pretend I didn’t hear about this. If this marriage is real, then I am concerned about why she didn’t talk to us about it. This needs to be investigated.

Enishi: Right! For the princess, let’s break this marriage!

Everyone except Kei: Right!

Kei: We’re not breaking anything, didn’t we *just say* we’re investigating? Geez… nothing bad’s gonna happen… right?

---

Track 2 - Kei

Ah, geez, what’s all this fuss about? Those guys got together and made so much noise over nothing, what an eyesore. It’s just her getting married to someone, what’s the problem?

W-Well, it’s worrying that she didn’t mention it to any of us. But just a bit. Just a bit, that’s all!

Hm? That guy ahead of me… isn’t he the young master of the cloth dealers’ Enishi talked about? But who’s the girl next to him?

(Looks like they’re pretty close… they’re walking so close, and they look happy together.

Don’t tell me, this guy’s about to get married, but he’s going on dates with girls in broad daylight?! 

Don’t mess around. So he’s not planning on properly taking care of her after all? 

That girl’s always working hard no matter where she is, she’s strong-willed but gentle at heart, and she’s an unimaginably good woman. But here you are… Dammit… how could someone like you snatch her up?)

Unforgivable. 

Oi, you over there--

Who’s there?! Don’t bother me--

Huh? Ah, i-it’s you?! Wh-What are you doing here… d-don’t you have to watch the store?

Eh? Ah… you were just coming back from the dojo? Ah, well, there’s nothing wrong with that.

(Nothing wrong with that, my ass! It’ll get ugly if she stays here! If she sees that young master walking around with another woman, she’ll get hurt for sure! I need to think of a way to get her out of here fast. Agh! Why do I have to do something like this? But I can’t just leave it...)

Uh… *ahem* ah, um.. that’s… um… ah, that’s right! You look like you’re getting hungry.

You’re not? Just say you are, idiot!

Anyway, there’s a good teahouse over there. Let’s go! Right now!

---

(*sigh* Speak of the devil and they’ll appear, huh… but looking at her, it doesn’t look like she saw the young master. But now that I’ve seen that, to let a guy who hangs out with women like that become her husband-- I’m definitely not going to allow it. But… how am I gonna tell her that? …*sigh*)

‘What’s wrong’? What a sleazy guy! It’s because I’ve been thinking about you that I have this headache!

Huh? N-No, it’s nothing… Anyway, hurry up and eat it. Look, all those fresh beans in this anmitsu is definitely going to taste good-- ah, BEANS?! Ugh, I almost ate them…

Hah? I’m not being weird at all! I’m the same as always! Just hurry up and eat it! Here, you can have my portion too.

(What the hell am I doing? I’m getting way too distracted… Anyway, all I have to say is: “Hurry up and turn down the marriage”. A sleaze like him is going to bring her nothing but unhappiness. The time to stop it is now. No, I *have* to say it! “You gotta give up a guy like that”!)

Hey, you. Just give it up.

Idiot, why are you so dazed for? Did you think I wouldn’t know? I was going to find out why you didn’t tell me. But, I have to say this.

If you keep going like this, then you’re just going to get hurt. I won’t say more on what bad things could happen. So think about it again.

That’s true. You wouldn’t understand what I’m talking about. Because you didn’t see what I saw. But I saw it myself, with my own eyes.

I always thought that as long as you were happy, it would be enough. But I realised this wasn’t right. From now on, I don’t want to see you in pain either. That’s why, just believe in me, and think about it!

Ah! I see, you were already planning on giving it up?

--Why are you giving the anmitsu I gave you back?

Hah? I was trying so hard to get you to give up the anmitsu that you decided you won’t eat anymore?

N-No! I wasn’t talking about the anmitsu!

W-Well, it’s true that I don’t like beans, but I don’t care if someone else eats them! Besides! Being this serious over a bowl of anmitsu, that doesn’t even make sense! I wasn’t talking about that at all!

Anyway! Isn’t there something more important?!

That… you know… what I’m trying to say is-- argh, dammit! What I’ve been trying to say is that I want your future to be happy!

(Huh… huh? What… did I just say?)

*Clapping*

A-ah, no! Wanting you to be happy… that… that wasn’t what I meant! I-- aghhh!!

T-The money… I’m leaving it here! Bye!!

(What am I doing…? I was supposed to have her give up on the marriage completely… in the end I said so many unnecessary things… I’ll… never be able to face her again… Guh…)

---

Track 3 - Suzukake

Suzukake: (There she is… it’s the princess. She’s always sweeping the storefront at this time. If she’s really getting married… I won’t be able to meet up with her casually anymore. 

I’ll get lonely.

Hey, Princess, are you really going to get married? Did you really want to get married?

I want to ask her, but I’m scared… 

Ah! She spotted me… I… have to go. Even though I don’t know what to say… I-I’ll just talk like I normally do!)

H-Hey, Princess! The weather’s good today, isn’t it?

Eh? Why was I hiding behind the wagon? So I could come and see you— no, hide and seek! I was playing hide and seek!

Mhm! Y-Yep… I was playing by myself! Ah, no… a person can’t play by themselves… uh… um…

(Ugh… she’s going to think I’m weird…)

Eh? U-Uh huh, yeah, I came to see you. Because I have something I wanted to say to you.

(If I say that then there’s no way I’m gonna run away. I don’t want to either! I’m gonna listen to what she has to say.)

Hey… you haven’t been thinking about wanting to get married before, right?

I’m sorry for asking out of the blue… but I really have to know. You might not remember what happened during the bridal procession clearly anymore, but I still do.

I thought you looked really pretty in your bridal kimono then.

You were just a fake bride then but… but, did the princess really have someone you wanted to get married to one day? Was there... a place you wanted to go with someone?

(Why am I asking these kinds of questions? It’s because… I don’t want to let you go. If you go away with that person… I’ll get lonely. My heart will start hurting, and I’ll feel like I want to cry. Hey… don’t go off to another man’s side! Don’t go, Princess!)

Please, tell me. Do you want to get married?

...One day…?

(That’s a lie… you’re about to get married soon, aren’t you? And then we won’t be able to play, we won't be able to laugh together like this anymore.)

*sobs* Princess! You can’t! Don’t go anywhere! I don’t want that!! *cries*

I won’t be able to hug you like this anymore! I don’t want that! Hey, don’t go, alright?

I’ll do whatever I have to to make you smile! If you ever get hurt, I’ll be able to heal you quickly! No… I’d never let you get hurt! That’s why, Princess, stay with me forever!

Enishi: What the hell are you guys doing in public? 

Suzukake: Aaah! Enishi?! Let me go! Princess is— Princess is—!

Enishi: How could I let you cry out on the streets? Can’t you see you’re worrying the princess?

Suzukake: How could you be so calm? Separating us is so mean!

Enishi: Hah?

Suzukake: The princess is disappearing soon! She’s gonna get taken away by a man I don’t even know!!!

Enishi: W-Wait! If you say it like that then you’re gonna make me sound like a human trafficker! Look! The people around us are staring! Do you want the police to come too?!

Suzukake: *wailing*

Enishi: O-Oi! Don’t move around so much! A-Ah, you’ll hit the wagon! Aaaagh!!

---

Track 4 - Enishi

*sigh* That got pretty bad… Thanks for letting me rest inside the restaurant, Princess. Suzukake kept coming back too, I wonder what happened?

Ah… you don’t know either. I see.

(Well, he’s probably coming back to listen to any rumours about the marriage… Even though he beat me to it, it looks like no one will bother us for the time being. Plus it’s just the two of us in the restaurant… I guess even the heavens are helping me.)

Ah, no, it’s nothing. Anyway, do you have some time now, Princess?

I see. It’s started to get calmer. That’s good. Hey, Princess, how about we talk for a bit? Here, come sit over here.

(Alright, alright! Everything’s going smoothly. Even though I want to look at Princess like this a bit more, the marriage thing is the most important thing at hand right now. I even made some special preparations for this. I have to change her mind no matter what.)

Hey, Princess. There’s actually something I want to give you.

Here, isn’t it beautiful? This kanzashi.

When I saw it I thought it would suit you so well I decided to buy it. It’s my present for you.

Don’t say that you can’t accept it, you’ll make the kanzashi cry! Besides, there’s nobody else aside from you I want to give it to, so you should take it.

Don’t move, let me put it on.

Come on, if you keep moving around I won’t be able to put it on properly, right?

Yep! I knew it’d suit you! As expected of someone like me, not bad! It’s made out of wood like the ones used for scabbards. Don’t you think that’s nice? You can say it matches the accessories I’m wearing.

Eh? You’re saying this is the first time you know what a scabbard is made out of?

Haha, I’m not *that* knowledgeable yet! Ahaha…

(Uuh… Even though I’m happy she just complimented me, we’re not here to talk about what it’s made out of… I thought it would remind her about the marriage… As expected of the princess, I can’t just use any plain old method… in that case…)

Buuuuut I’m a bit worried…

Why, you ask? Because the princess is just so cute, I’m worried that another man will steal you away.

Maybe that kanzashi can be proof that you should be by my side forever.

Hey… if I said that to you, how would you react? I don’t want to give a princess this cute to someone else.

I’m not playing around, this is how I really feel.

Princess, don’t run away. I want you to listen to me properly. The man you love the most… what’s he like?

You must have thought of someone. Even if you tried to hide it, I can see it clearly. Princess, please think about it carefully.

The man that you’re thinking of right now, is he better than me?

I don’t plan to lose to him. If you doubt my feelings, I’ll prove it to you. I’ll fight him if I have to.

Don’t stop me, there are times where men have to get into battles like this one.

I plan to bring that man here, and have a fight with him fair and square right in front of you.

What? He’s in the house? That’s perfect. Could you do me a favour and bring him out?

(The fact that this guy can just come in and out of her house in broad daylight… I’m so jealous!!— No, he’s about a hundred years too early staying here! Who is this outstanding guy? I’ll personally challenge you! If I win, she’ll definitely change her mind about the marriage!)

He’s out. I’ve been waiting for you. Now, it’s time to duel—!

Ah, huh? Um… I’m pretty sure you’re the princess’ father…?

(Why did her father come out? Hah? I just realised I didn’t specify that I was looking for her marriage partner. Haha, that’s true, if it’s not about love then of course the person she loves the most would be her father. Uh-huh… I see. So… my super serious confession didn’t get through to her at all? P-Princess… I can feel sad too, you know…)

Eh, ah… no, father… fighting fair and square… it was just a figure of speech! F-Father? Why are you grabbing my shoulder smiling like that?

Eh? A cooking battle?

You’re happy because there hasn’t been any youngsters with a backbone to challenge you lately…?? D-Don’t joke, how could a ronin like me challenge the owner of a restaurant?

N-No… y-you made a mistake— this is all just a misunderstanding!!

W-Wait!! Don’t pull me! I know I’m carrying a sword but I’ve never used a knife before!

AAH!! Princess, help me!! Princessss!!!!

---

Track 5 - Interlude

Kei, Suzukake, Enishi: *sigh*

Saneaki: What’s wrong, you three? Why do you look so worn out?

Kei: Why did I… in front of so many people…

Suzukake: *sobs* No… Princess….

Enishi: J-Julienning… no more…

Sakyo: This time it’s Enishi-dono? What a predicament...

Tsuzuramaru: W-What exactly happened…?

Saneaki: Enishi-dono, don’t you have anything to say?

Enishi: I… I’ll never give up! Princesss!!

Saneaki: It’s no use. I can’t get through to him.

Tsuzuramaru: What about you, Kei? What happened?

Kei: I have nothing to say… except… except. That cloth dealer bastard was getting real chummy with another woman!

Tsuzuramaru: What?!

Sakyo: He is already going to be wed soon… and he was with another woman? Unbelievable…

Saneaki: Even if we ignored Enishi-dono for now, if Kei-dono said so then it must be true.

Enishi: Why do you always have to say things that wound my heart?

Suzukake: *sobs* Princess… *cries*

Saneaki: Suzukake-dono…

Tsuzuramaru: I can’t let this go on! I’m going to go find Miss now!

Saneaki: Wait! Tsuzuramaru-dono!

Tsuzuramaru: Don’t stop me! There’s nothing to say about a guy like him!

Saneaki: Ah, he’s gone…It looks like he went without a plan… will he be alright?

Saneaki: Now then, Sagihara-dono, what should we do?

Sakyo: You… To hand her over to a person like that… 

Saneaki: …It looks like there isn’t a plan here either. *sigh*

---

Track 6 - Tsuzuramaru

Tsuzuramaru: *panting* I made it…

(Miss… she’s inside. Calm down, Tsuzuramaru. She’s just the same as usual, helping out at home, she hasn’t left the house yet. I can still make it. I should still make it! Now’s the time to be a man, as if I’m staking my life on this!)

*stomach grumbles*

(For my stomach to growl even at a time like this… it makes me hate myself. No… but… ah… that smells so good. It looks like they’re cooking something right now. Are these dried sweet potatoes? 

That smell… Miss’ food always whets the appetite. My stomach’s been completely captured. Even if it’s the same dish, if you look carefully, you can tell she put a lot of effort into it. A woman who meticulously works no matter what it is… that’s Miss… I… I…)

*stomach grumbles*

(Ugh… I want to yell out how I feel about Miss, but I’m so hungry I can’t even summon the energy…)

M-Miss? Why did you come outside?

Is that so? Because you saw me? H-How embarrassing. I seem to have gotten in the way of your cooking.

(No, this is a good opportunity. If I want Miss to cancel the marriage now’s the moment!)

Miss… actually, I’ve been wanting to tell you—

Ugh… this… Actually, I haven't eaten properly since morning because of my worries…

I came at a good time?

T-Taste testing? Are you saying I can help  taste what you’re making right now?

(What? N-No… why did I come here in the first place? But to decline her offer would be a shame… and I’m hungry anyway…)

T-Then if it’s alright with you, I’ll try a little.

Y-Yes! Excuse me…

Usually the master does all the food preparations. It’s strange to see Miss doing that today.

Hm? A lot of customers came and there weren't enough ingredients? So he went to get some?

Ahaha, these customers can really eat a lot, don't they?

Eh? They weren’t eaten? He just did a lot of cooking? And made a lot of food? 

Hm… I don’t really understand, but that’s unfortunate, isn’t it?

(Wait… doesn’t that mean it’s just the two of us here right now? W-What…? My heart suddenly won’t calm down… Anyway, I need to calm down first…)

Sorry, Miss! I was just thinking about something. Ah... did you need me to taste that sweet potato?

Then I’ll help myself.

Delicious! It’s so good! I could taste the flavour of the hot sweet potato as soon as it hit my mouth!

I’m not just being polite! Miss will definitely be a good wife one day. 

(Hm? Wife? That’s right… I seem to have forgotten something important. What was it?)

Oh, did you need me to taste that too?

I’m very grateful. Then, if you’ll allow me…

As expected, delicious! 

(Ah… I’m so lucky... If I were to marry Miss… would it be like this everyday? Marry? ...Marry? Huh… Something doesn’t seem right. I’ve forgotten something… but I can’t remember.

No, I should be focusing on helping taste test the dishes Miss made herself! If I don’t do it properly there’ll be retribution!)

The flavour of this fried fish is endless! I can’t stop my chopsticks! It’s so good I want to eat it with rice! Eh? Can I? Then I’ll help myself. I’ll eat this rice ball, then!

Ah! So satisfying!

Miss’ future husband is going to be so lucky! Hahahaha….

---

Kei: So. Why did you come back so casually after going out to eat food?!!

Tsuzuramaru: I-I’m ashamed of myself…

Kei: A samurai should stick to his word! Where did all that energy you had when you rushed out this morning go?!!

Tsuzuramaru: Ah… it’s because Miss’ food was so good, I accidentally forgot my original objective…

Suzukake: How lucky, you got to eat the princess’ homemade cooking.

Enishi: Good grief. Let’s not even talk about the food I made, all I got was severe criticism. Huu...

Tsuzuramaru: I-I’m sorry. Hey, where’s Saneaki?

Kei: He just went out. If he can’t do it either, then there’s nothing we’ll be able to do.

---

Track 7 - Saneaki

(The sun is about to set, and the number of pedestrians passing the bridges has fallen. If the information obtained is correct, the cloth dealer’s young master should pass by here around this time. To get to the truth about these marriage rumours, and the fact that he’s been close to other women, I’ll get to the bottom of this here. If there are any surprises…

No… of course, I don’t plan to cut him down. But if it’s just... the back of the blade, then there should be no problem.

W-What was I just thinking? I’m just going to talk to him.

But… contaminating her beautiful and flawless heart, this is a very serious crime.

Hm? That figure… It’s her? Why? At this time?

I can’t believe I’d see her while waiting for the young master… if she asks me what I’m doing, I’ll have no way to answer her. 

Ugh, did she notice me?)

What a coincidence.

To meet in a place like this. Although… where were you going at a time like this?

Tsuzuramaru-dono forgot something at the restaurant? 

(What was he doing? That Tsuzuramaru-dono…)

Ah, if that’s the case, I can return it to him. No, it’s fine. I have plans to see him again soon, so it’s no trouble. 

Hm? Is something wrong?

Are you that surprised that he and I made plans to meet?

(Ah! No, if you think about it, it is strange! I usually live in the mountains far away from Edo, it’s already unusual for me to be on the streets. Not only that, but to also say I’m meeting with Tsuzuramaru-dono, she’ll definitely think something happened.)

Ah, no, Tsuzuramaru-dono and I were… I know, we promised to train together.

Yes, it was a favour he asked of me. I planned to meet up with him for a few duels.

(Looks like she believes me. So the princess's heart is this pure and flawless.

Plus, my heart is hurting as well.)

Hm? N-No, you don’t have to join us. Although I’m aware you're very passionate about the naginata, it is not appropriate to meet men at night.

Even if you ask me… I can’t…

(Oh no… hearing me mention practice… her eyes are sparkling… If I say it was just a lie, then she’ll know I deceived her. But, I can’t bear to refuse her like this. 

Is there something I could say that wouldn’t hurt her but make her give up…?)

M-My apologies, but wouldn’t it be too difficult for you? This will be very intense training. It’s not something someone should go into without being fully aware of what it is.

What kind of training is it? Well… that…

(F-For me to lie to a pure-hearted girl… please forgive me for my sins!)

We will cross blades at Mount Nabebuta. With a single slice, we will be able to cleave through rocks and trees, split even the earth and ocean, make mountains erupt flames, to raise gales on flat ground, this atypical power passed under the heavens, the true swordsmanship that governs the universe and all living things! That! Is that we will be training for. 

(Is what I said, but what sort of samurai like that would exist?! Even someone like her would notice…!)

I-I see… you think that’s impressive.

No… that… isn’t much.

(S-She believed me? E-Even though I was the one who said it… but to believe even those words is really… Ah… Her trusting eyes… seeing them now pains me!)

What? You want to watch us despite all that? No! E-Even watching us will be difficult.

The reason? The reason is…

(I’ve reached my limit… if I keep betraying her trust in me and continuing saying nonsense… I… I…—)

There’s no possible way I could do that!!

(Oh, God! Please forgive this most sinful servant of yours!)

---

Track 8 - Sakyo

Everyone: *sigh*

Enishi: Look, even Saneaki looks like he’s gone through a tough battle.

Suzukake: It seems so… Tsuzuramaru aside, Saneaki-san looks so defeated…

Enishi: It looks like the sun is setting soon, I can’t believe the mood got even heavier.

Suzukake: *sigh* We’ve really at the end of our ropes, what do we do now?

Enishi: Oi, Kei, don’t you have any good ideas?

Kei: Don’t ask me, go ask Sagihara. ...Huh? Where did he go?

Enishi: Huh? Now that you say it I haven’t seen him for a while.

Suzukake: Sakyo-san had a really scary face all day, is he going to be alright? When he first heard what Enishi told us, he almost lost his head…

Kei: That was the first time I’ve seen Sagihara make a face that scary before. Don’t tell me… something happened…?

Enishi: No… is what I’d like to say, but I’ve been having a bad feeling about this…

Suzukake: A bad feeling?

Kei: Don’t you remember? When we first met up…

(Flashback)

Sakyo: What, you ask?

Sakyo: Is it not obvious? I will cut that man.

---

Enishi: You don’t think he really took his sword and…?

Suzukake: Eh?! Then we have to go stop him!

Kei: I don’t want to believe it but, with a face like that he really might have gone and done it.

Enishi: In any case, we have to hurry…!

Suzukake: Yep! Come on, Tsuzuramaru, Saneaki-san! You have to pull yourself together for the princess!

Tsuzuramaru: A-Ah, sorry. Now’s not the time to be all down!

Saneaki: Even I had been… Let’s hurry and find Sagihara-dono!

---

Sakyo: Without knowing it I came to the storefront…

(Just thinking about her marriage partner gives me goose bumps all over my body in disgust. To cheat and marry a girl who doesn’t know any better, what a despicable man! Absolutely unforgivable.

Princess. I will definitely rescue you from the claws of this demon!

For that sake… yes, I have no choice but to draw support from the power of my blade!

Oh? It seems I have been discovered.)

Good evening, Princess.

Are you alright? To step outside at night like this is dangerous. You stepped out because you saw me?

Thank you very much.

Truthfully, I came to find you because I had something I wished to talk to you about.

Eh? Everyone has been saying they were looking for you?

(That’s true… everyone has been very worried about this issue. You did not change your mind no matter who came to you… That is why, I will use this sword…! 

But I cannot do that in a place with so many people. I must find a place much darker, more quiet, somewhere where nobody can disturb me…)

Princess, are you willing to experience the night breeze with me for a while?

---

Kei: Oi! Is he over there?

Suzukake: He’s not! Where did Sakyo-san take the princess off to?

Kei: Sagihara!! Where are you? Come out!!

Suzukake: Sakyo-san!! Don’t hide anymore!

Tsuzuramaru: He really did go to the store, but I didn’t think we’d be a step too late… I didn’t think he’d take Miss, and not the young master…

Enishi: Sakyo wouldn’t get violent towards the princess, would he?!

Suzukake: N-No way! That wouldn’t happen, right?!

Tsuzuramaru: How could this have happened? Miss!! Where are you?

Saneaki: Isn’t he nearby? We should search the opposite side next…

Sakyo: Oh…?

Everyone: W-We found you!!

Sakyo: W-What is it? Staring at me like I am some exotic creature… and being so loud.

Kei: You have the gall to look that indifferent. We’ve been looking for you!

Sakyo: I do not know what happened, but can you step aside? The princess and I have a place we must go, please do not disturb us.

Suzukake: A place you have to go… w-where?

Enishi: Don’t tell me it’s the Underworld…?

Sakyo: The Underworld? Hm…

Sakyo: Haha. Well, if I am with the Princess, then that place does not sound bad…

Tsuzuramaru: Wh—

Saneaki: I knew it… it’s like that…

Sakyo: I was just teasing, your faces are all so pale. I was simply playing—

Tsuzuramaru: Even if you’re Sakyo, I won’t let you get away with it!

Sakyo: Excuse me—?

Tsuzuramaru: Miss! You can’t lose your life here! Come over here, run!

Sakyo: Where do you think you’re going? Wait!

Enishi: Tsuzuramaru, that guy’s getting the spotlight! As if I’ll let him! Just you wait—

Saneaki: …There’s no choice.

Suzukake: W-Wait! Everybody!

Kei: That idiot! Dammit…

---

Sakyo: I… I finally caught you… Princess… come, this time… you and I will… together… go…

Tsuzuramaru: I… I won’t let you! Sakyo! Think about it again properly!

Sakyo: No matter how many times I think, my feelings will not change!

Kei: You finally drew your sword, huh, you blockhead!

Saneaki: Sagihara-dono! Do you really think doing this will make the princess happy?

Suzukake: Exactly, Sakyo-san! Come on, put the sword down!

Sakyo: I politely decline the offer. No matter how many times my hand must grasp this sword, I must tell the princess how I feel!

Tsuzuramaru: I won’t let you! Miss, please hide behind me!

Sakyo: You’re naive, Tsuzuramaru-dono.

Sakyo: Oh? There’s a flying riceball in the sky!

Tsuzuramaru: What? Where?

Sakyo: An opening!

Tsuzuramaru: Dammit! Miss!

Enishi: What the hell are you doing, Tsuzuramaru? How could you fall for that?

Sakyo: Hehe. For Tsuzuramaru-dono to think he would win against me, he is a hundred years early for that!

Sakyo: Princess. I truly want to bring you to a very beautiful place. But please, allow me to use this blade to… to blade to…

Everyone: STOP!!

Sakyo: ...give to you! From now on, my family treasures and myself will belong to you!

Everyone: WHAT???

Sakyo: Even after these five’s persuasion, you haven't changed your mind. Since you still want to be paired with someone, then you will have no reason to be paired with that person! Allow me to take you as my bride! So, Princess, you no longer need to be by another person’s side!

Kei: Can you not make it about that?!

Enishi: Right! Right! If you can propose to her can I propose too?!

Kei: That’s not the point either!!

Suzukake: You can be with the princess when you become the groom, right? Then I want to become the groom!

Tsuzuramaru: W-What?! Then me too!! I want to eat Miss’ delicious food every day!

Saneaki: No, no, a groom is a man who can manage the family. If that’s the case then I am the best choice, when it comes to cooking I have some confidence in myself.

Kei: Did any of you guys even listen to me?!!!!

Sakyo: Princess, you do not have to listen to the others. Throw away the cloth dealer’s young master. All you have to do is choose me. Come, Princess!

---

Tsuzuramaru: M-Miss? Miss? Are you alright?

Enishi: She must be overwhelmed with how she couldn’t even cut in…

Saneaki: You’re asking what this is all about?

Sakyo: What do you mean? We…

Suzukake: We heard you were getting married… so… 

Enishi: Right, and it’s the young master from the cloth dealer, right? But I don’t think that guy will make you happy.

Kei: Sorry, but I saw that guy go out with another girl.

Tsuzuramaru: That’s why we’ve been coming to you, so you can think about this marriage more carefully!

Tsuzuramaru: Eh? You haven’t been thinking about getting married?

Sakyo: But your house seems to have a dowry…

Saneaki: The dowry is your neighbour’s?

Suzukake: Eh? You’re just minding it because they’re not home?

Tsuzuramaru: W-Wait, but there’s been rumours that Miss and the young master were getting married?

Kei: O-Oi, Enishi! What’s going on? Didn’t you say the young master’s getting married to her?

Enishi: Yeah, that’s what I heard! And I was listening properly! The young master’s marriage partner is energetic, is good at cooking, her voice is as clear as a bell, and even flowers will bloom on the road where she walks. She’s so slender she looks like she would break at a touch, but her willpower is stronger than most people. And the most important thing: I heard she has a cute smile!

Enishi: It’s definitely the princess! Even now I think I’m right! That’s how it is! What do you think, you lot?

Tsuzuramaru: …I agree.

Suzukake: That’s true…

Saneaki: I see… Well, it’s not like I don’t understand how Enishi-dono feels.

Kei: WHERE?! You got it completely wrong!!

Sakyo: Wait a second… so what you are saying… is that this is all… a misunderstanding?

Enishi: Ah… It… seems… so. Hehe, but knowing the princess isn’t getting married is good news!

Kei: It’s. Not. Good. News. At. ALLLL!!!

---

Track 9 - Ending

Sakyo: Apologies for intruding.

Tsuzuramaru: Oh, if it isn’t Sakyo.

Sakyo: Tsuzuramaru-dono? And everyone else seems to have gathered here...

Enishi: Yep, and with you we’ll all be present. Can you sit with everyone? Sit here.

Sakyo: To visit the princess again… it seems everyone had the same idea.

Suzukake: Mhm, I caused trouble for the princess, so I bought some tea sweets as a gift for her.

Saneaki: Everyone all came here for the same reason.

Enishi: Anyway, it doesn’t need to be said, doesn’t matter which one of us it is, we all want to see the princess, right? Right, Kei?

Kei: D-Don’t touch me! You’re the one who needs to reflect on himself the most!

Tsuzuramaru: But, even though we brought trouble to Miss, to know that this time it was all just a misunderstanding was good. After reflecting my stomach couldn’t help but grumble, what can you do?

Enishi: Well… can’t you see Sakyo’s dripping in cold sweat?

Sakyo: T-That is not because I am here to apologise… please do not talk about it. You are being spiteful.

Suzukake: Let’s calm down, the both of you. Enishi, don’t make Sakyo angry.

Enishi: Alright, alright. Well… why isn’t the princess here yet?

Sakyo: Oh? That is strange… did she leave the restaurant today?

Saneaki: Yes, her father was the one who seated us.

Kei: That’s unusual. Usually she’ll rush back to welcome us. What is she doing…?

Tsuzuramaru: Don’t tell me… she’s been mad at us these past few days, so she doesn’t want to see us anymore?

Suzukake: Eh?! We didn’t make the princess hate us, did we?

Enishi: N-No way… we’re talking about the kind-hearted princess here! There’s no way that’s it…

Saneaki: But if it is… we should prepare ourselves just in case.

Kei: Don’t say something like that so seriously.

Sakyo: It does not look like we need to do that kind of preparation.

Suzukake: Ah! Princess! You came! That’s good!

Suzukake: Eh? The kimono you’re wearing today isn’t the same as the one you normally wear.

Tsuzuramaru: It… it suits you well!

Saneaki: I see… you got your other one wet, so you changed your clothes… 

Enishi: Oh, it was just that? Buuuut… hmhm! Not bad! It’s more mature than your usual look, it adds to your womanliness!

Kei: Why’re you saying stuff like that? She hasn’t changed from how she normally is, or whatever.

Sakyo: It is good if that is the case. Kei-dono, why can’t you look at her?

Kei: Shut up!

Sakyo: Heh. Well, I cannot say I do not understand that kind of feeling too. That said, Princess, this is a gift to make up for that day. Please accept it.

Sakyo: No, please do. If you cannot, then my feelings will not be able to recover.

Sakyo: Phew… now I will be able to breathe in relief.

Tsuzuramaru: I’m really sorry, Miss. I got you involved in all that… Haha, seeing you able to laugh like that, it’s already something I can appreciate.

Suzukake: Ah, a customer is calling for you. Sorry for disturbing your work.

Saneaki: Don’t mind us, you should go back to work.

Kei: We’ll call you after we decide what to order.

Tsuzuramaru: Even though we caused nothing but trouble for her… she’s still… such a kind-hearted girl!

Sakyo: Yes, I agree.

Enishi: That’s because she's that kind of princess. That’s why we can’t stop watching her. Ignoring the whole thing with the cloth dealer’s young master, a wonderful woman like her, even if it was someone else we wouldn’t let her go easily.

Saneaki: The so-called fusion of reality and rumors. The customers watch over her too.

Suzukake: You’re right… they’re looking at her and talking about something. 

Tsuzuramaru: Shh. Don’t talk…

Suzukake: What’s wrong? All of a sudden...

Tsuzuramaru: Those men over there, just now, they were talking about the rumours about Miss… 

Tsuzuramaru: WHAAAAT!!

Tsuzuramaru: This time… he wants to get married to Miss???

Everyone: WHAT?!

Sakyo: I have had enough of this!!

[askthedespairkids]

How different would you describe your professional persona compared to your regular self, Kobo?

Kobo: Aaaaagh, it’s embarrassin’! I hate actin’ all...like that.

I remember your practical exam. You didn’t sound like you at all. I don’t think you cursed once during it.

Kobo: *He flushes* I d-don’t curse that much...pl-plus I gotta act like a professional or some shit otherwise my boss would go through me! Seriously, she was scary as fuck.

[osakaso5]

Spirit Kaleidoscope: Empty Absolution

Chapter 17 - The Fourth Match: Hanabusa Versus Mizuchi

Chapter Index

Hikagemachi's Main Street

Kasane: Let's start plannin' for the fourth match.

Aoi, Uta, Madoka, & Momiji: Yes.

Aoi: ...I can't believe you managed to find Mizuchi's weakness. Especially on such short notice...

Kasane: Mizuchi used to live in the human world way back in the day. I went back there, skimmed through some books, searched around the region he was worshipped in...

Madoka: ...Huh!? You returned to the human world by yourself? Without permission from the capital!?

Kasane: Ufufu. Don't be such a stick in the mud.

Madoka: That's so not fair! You should've taken me with you!

Uta: Oh, so that's the part you had a problem with.

Kasane: In any case, I found us a surefire way to win, with a bunch of hard work. Ah~, I'm such a model employee.

Kasane: Well, Aoi, have ya changed your mind about me now? How about a compliment or two?

Aoi: ........ So, what is the weakness you found?

Kasane: I'm guessin' that's a no.

Hanabusa: Kasane. I don't want to know what Mizuchi's weakness is.

Kasane: ...Beg yer pardon?

Hanabusa: I know you worked hard to find it out, but sorry. I'm not planning to take advantage of any weaknesses during the fight.

Hanabusa: I'll fight him head on.

Kasane, Aoi, Uta, Madoka, & Momiji: Huh?!

Kasane: Now, hold on just a minute... Did ya not listen to what Aoi just said, Hanabusa-han? Mizuchi's a real powerhouse of a yokai.

Kasane: He's not somebody a human can take on like that!

Aoi: I hate to agree with Commander Kasane... But there is no shame in taking advantage of a yokai's weak points in a fight. If anything, it's reckless to face one against some kind of advantage...

Hanabusa: I know. ...But this might be the only chance I get to fight an opponent like him.

Hanabusa: It's a once-in-a- lifetime match... I don't want to let it slip by me because I need to win.

Aoi: Commander Hanabusa... But...

Uta: ...Oh boy. And before the tournament began, you said there was no way for us to beat Mizuchi, too.

Hanabusa: Hmph. Sorry, but I've changed my mind.

Uta: Are you planning to abandon your role as our supervisor?

Hanabusa: Winning on behalf of the katanashu should be our top priority. That was why I wasn't originally going to fight in the matches myself. ...But I'm a warrior before I am a soldier.

Hanabusa: I want to test my strength and skill against an enemy who's strong... And win with all my might. What else could a duel possibly need?

Uta: ...In other words, you're just super fired up.

Aoi: I do think that's a wonderful ideal, but...

Hanabusa: Sorry, but I'm not going to change my mind. Don't worry. All I need to do is win. ...You'll have to bear with me too, Momiji.

Hanabusa: I'm sure this must be unnerving for someone who wants to fight Ungaikyo as badly as you.

Momiji: ........ No, sir. I won't mind, as long as you win.

Hanabusa: ...Hmph. You're cocky for a novice...

Hanabusa: ........ It seems you're the kin of the capital's general.

Momiji: ........ How do you know that?

Madoka: ...Seriously!? You mean THE general!? The commander of all our military forces... The top dog!

Uta: ...I always thought you were arrogant for a newbie... But you're seriously some rich young heir...

Madoka: Yikes. We should really be nicer to him.

Hanabusa: When you first came here, I received a letter from the general. He told me to look after his grandson.

Momiji: ...Grandfather... I see.

Hanabusa: He's the sole leader of our army. As his flesh and blood, he must favor you a great deal.

Hanabusa: He's already retired from the front lines to hold true power in the capital.

Hanabusa: ........ And one day, you'll inherit it all.

Momiji: Yes. That is my intention.

Aoi: ...Now you've said it...

Hanabusa: ....Pfft. Fufu... Hahahahaha!

Momiji: .........

Hanabusa: You replied without hesitation. Our leader has put you on the track to ruling our country one day. Haha.

Hanabusa: ...I hate naive kids like you more than anything. So much that it makes me sick.

Momiji: I know. ...But I believe you're not the sort of man to let your personal feelings get in the way of your work.

Hanabusa: You wouldn't know.

Hanabusa: ...I have no complaints about your work here thus far. However, I have a piece of advice for you.

Hanabusa: Your fighting and conduct is decisive. It's suited for someone who's straightforward, determined, and not easily disturbed. That's a strength, but it's also a weakness.

Momiji: ...What do you mean?

Hanabusa: But following orders can only take you so far. Right now, you're completely lacking in substance.

Hanabusa: You need to find your own hopes and aspirations, and follow them. Don't go against your blade. Listen to it carefully.

Momiji: ...My blade...

Hanabusa: Sorry, Kasane. You worked hard, but... I need to have my way this time. Bear with me.

Kasane: Sigh... Yer unbelievable. All my work's just gone down the drain.

Kasane: But, I guess that's how stubborn ya always are.

Hanabusa: Sorry.

Hanabusa: Hmph... Maybe I'd misjudged you.

Kasane: ...Hey, cut it out. It gives me goosebumps when ya act all nice, Commander Ogre.

Hanabusa: Hmph.

Kasane: ...At least let me do a little protective charm for ya. Can I have yer sword for a sec?

Hanabusa: ...What? You're pouring sand over my blade...

Kasane: Mizuchi's supposed to be weaker against the earth, right? This ain't much of a protection against him, but it's better than nothin'.

Kasane: ...Alright... That should do. Go give 'em hell, Commander Ogre!

Hanabusa: Yeah. I'll make sure to bring us victory. 

- - - -

Karasutengu: It's finally time for the long-awaited fourth match. From the yokai, we have Mizuchi!

Karasutengu: From the katanashu, we have the commander of their first squadron, Hanabusa!

Karasutengu: How long can the infamous Commander Ogre stand against our very own water god..? This is looking to be a match full of twists and turns!

Yokai: Wow... We'll really get to see Mizuchi fight..!

Yokai: Get him, Mizuchi!

The Yokai: Aaaaagh..!

Hanabusa: You're awfully popular, Mizuchi. Those cheers are loud enough to make the ground shake.

Mizuchi: They're just curious, since I come to the city so rarely.

Hanabusa: I see. In that case, I must be lucky to be able to fight you today.

Mizuchi: ...Lucky? To fight me?

Hanabusa: Yes. It's the first time since my transfer here that I've felt so alive.

Hanabusa: ...That's how boring working as an inspector out here is. Despite it, I've never once forgotten to train. Maybe it's all been for the sake of fighting you today.

Hanabusa: Huff... Maybe light can shine even into a grave. Right now, I'm grateful to have been sent to Hikagemachi.

Mizuchi: Hmm... You're interesting.

Mizuchi: I'm surprised that there would be a human who doesn't lose hope as soon as they're faced with me. Not to mention a human who would fight me voluntarily.

Mizuchi: Though when I still lived in the human world, during the time when samurai ruled your land... There was the occasional warrior who would challenge me.

Hanabusa: Challenge you..? Why? Were you not worshipped as a god?

Mizuchi: Yes. That was exactly why. Strong warriors wanted to test their blade on the water god.

Mizuchi: Can you not relate?

Hanabusa: I see... If I'd lived during that time, I might've aspired to do the same.

Mizuchi: ...You look like you're out for blood. Fufu. It really has been a while. This brings back so many memories...

Mizuchi: When a human looks straight at me like that, I want to meet their expectations. Maybe that feeling is a remnant from my days as a god?

Hanabusa: Enough talk. Let's begin.

Mizuchi: Right. Chit-chatting is nice, but it looks like your blade wants to do all the talking right now.

Mizuchi: You're... Hanabusa, right? It's nice to meet you. Let's make this a good fight.

Karasutengu: We might see ogres, serpents, even gods... It's time for the decisive fourth battle! Begin!

The Yokai: Uooooh..!

- - - -

Slash..!

Mizuchi: Ugh...!

Thud

Mizuchi: ...Uuh.

Hanabusa: Huff, huff... ........

The Yokai: Commotion...

Onibi: ...Huh..? What's going on..? Mizuchi's down... Hey, Kyubi-no-Kitsune! Does this mean...

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: ........

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: ...That's right. Mizuchi lost to the human.

Onibi: ....!? No way! That can't be true..! This is Mizuchi we're talking about!

Kyubi-no-Kitsune: There's no denying it. ...He was cut down with a sword, and now he's not getting up. Is that not enough for you?

Onibi: ....... Mizuchi's...

The Yokai: Commotion...

Yokai: You're kidding me... Mizuchi, of all people!?

Yokai: He lost to some human...

Karasutengu: ...Oh dear... This is unexpected...

Karasutengu: ...Haha... Hahaha! It's so unpredictable... This is exactly  why tournaments are so fun!

Karasutengu: The results are plain for all to see. The winner of our grand fourth match... Is Hanabusa!

The Yokai: Commotion...

Uta: ...Commander Hanabusa... He really did beat Mizuchi..!

Aoi: The yokai have gone dead silent, despite yelling so loudly earlier...

Kasane: Their water god lost to a human. That's gotta be a real shocker.

Kasane: ...But I gotta say, Hanabusa-han did great! Looks like his fighting spirit matched Mizuchi's.

Madoka: ...But didn't the match seem a little weird to you guys? It was over so quickly...

Madoka: It was like Mizuchi just stopped right in the middle of it...

Momiji: ........

Karasutengu: Hahaha! Too bad, Mizuchi! I never expected you to lose. You must've been careless.

Karasutengu: Your face looks pale, for some reason. Are you hurting?

Mizuchi: ...No...

Hanabusa: ........ What is this..?

Karasutengu: Huh? What now, Hanabusa? You don't look too happy about beating Mizuchi... Hey! What are you doing to him..!?

Mizuchi: .....!

Hanabusa: Answer me, Mizuchi! You left yourself open on purpose, right!? You must be looking down on me because I'm human...

...Smack!

Hanabusa: .....!?

Mizuchi: Don't touch me. ...You disappoint me.

Hanabusa: ...What..?

Mizuchi: The match is over. Get away from me. I don't want to see those eyes for another second.

Mizuchi: ...It really is a shame. You're nothing like those samurai.

Hanabusa: ...Bastard... Now you're even mocking me... ...Wait! Where are you going!?

Hanabusa: You...

Karasutengu: ........ Hmm. What is this..?

To be continued...