#aaand ADOPTED! how does it feel

[star-suh]

Re-Connect

Lee Jeno x Male Reader

an: based on the sex pollen trope.

—

lee jeno is a masterful spy working for the government,this time his mission is to deactivate an explosive device set in one of the stadiums in the city, which is packed with civilians today. “okay mr. lee you will be disguised as a policeman and your job is to cut the cables of the device to avoid the explosion. but in order to maintain your safety you will be accompanied by mr. ln”. “what?” jeno said surprised, “i can do it by myself” he adds. “we know” the higher up replies quickly, “but it’s just so you can do it without worries”. jeno was ready to talk back but the video call was cut off, “damn” he sighs.

the reason why jeno was so opposed to the idea of being with yn is because they had a past together that didn’t end well. they both were trained in the same academy to become top tier spies so naturally a relationship bloomed between them but the constant missions in which they had to go to different locations created a rift in their relationship which finally ended when they both had an argument. jeno sighed, he knew that sooner or later he had to talk to yn but he doesn’t feel ready yet.

“hello jeno”, yn awkwardly said, a bit flustered. “oh, hi y…n…” and as if he was in one of those cliche movies the world stopped when he saw yn in front of him, even his hair moving in slow motion. “close your mouth or a fly will enter it” yn joked trying to lighten the atmosphere. jeno giggled flustered, “are you ready for the mision” jeno asked. “mmh hmm” the other nodded, “let’s just do this fast and get over with this”, a lump forms on jeno’s throat. as much as he wants to deny it he wants to spend some time with yn even if it’s just for a mission they had to do together.

“yeah let’s go” yn leads the way, entering the black van followed by jeno. the pair accompanied by the rest of the team arrives to the stadium, trying to blend in as just simple viewers of today’s game. “the report says that the bomb is near the south entrance, let’s go there then” jeno says looking at his watch and pressing the stopwatch button that started a countdown. the pair arrived at the south entrance while the rest of the team stayed in the van to communicate instructions to them through earphones.

“we are here” yn touches his earphone waiting for instructions. “yeah umm you should see in front of you the bathroom signal, go there and turn left you should see a door” yn signaled jeno to follow him, “the door’s locked. i need a code” jeno talks to jisung, who was in charge of the technology part of the mission, a hacker you must say, “wait a second aaand… done, it’s open now but don’t let it close or else you have to wait almost one hour so i can open it again”.

“roger that” quickly jeno went towards the strange package wrapped in a black trash bag and some tape. he looks at his watch and wipe the sweat off of his forehead, while yn stands on the door watching if someone comes. jeno unwraps the package and sees a quite fancy device for it to be a bomb, “this looks tough” jeno murmurs but he then breathes deeply and relaxes his nerves, “phew.. how do i start..” anxiety starting to take over him. “hey” yn blurted out, “it’s okay, don’t worry” jeno looks at him, those words reminiscing him of their past days, “you can do it” a soft expression plastered on yn’s face that made jeno regain his confidence, “thank you” he says softly resuming his job.

out of nowhere yn hears footsteps running towards the door, “jeno i don’t want to scare you but i think we have some company coming our way.. no pressure tho”, jeno again giggles nervously, “sure” his face and arms dripping with sweat.

suddenly a pair of hunky men burst through the door, yn adopted a position to get ready to fight “focus on that damn bomb i’ll take care of them”. one of the men runs towards yn and he does the same landing a punch on the other’s face but he then is met with a punch on his face too that sends him flying to the floor, “guess this is not gonna be boring” he spits some blood and cleans his lips with the back of his hand, “come on assholes, you two are going to be my bitches today” a smirk appearing on his face.

while the three keep throwing punches and kicks here and there, jeno was still disassembling the device but he couldn’t help to glance at yn, his bloody and bruised face. he felt a rush on his body, a need to go and help yn but he knows he needs to focus and end his job. yn manages to knock one of the men on the back of his neck leaving him unconscious on the floor but the other one manages to overpowered him, throwing him to the floor and starts to choke him. desperately yn punches and scratches his face trying to get him off of his neck, veins start to bulge on his forehead a neck,his face completely red and his eyes becoming hooded. when he thought that would be his last breath he felt the pair of hands leaving his neck alone so he quickly crawled away from there and coughs a lot. his chest heaving a lot trying to catch some air then he looks at the other man screaming. the cause was that jeno threw a little knife to his thigh. “you damn fuckers” he cries in pain pulling the knife out and pressing against the wound. he then stands up and pulls out a vial out of one of his pockets he then picks up the other guy and throws the object to the floor near them, “let’s see if you both can keep focused on disassembling that shit” he runs towards the door and close it. from the vial a pink smoke comes out, “what the fuck is that” yn asks, “maybe some toxin?” jeno answers and then freaks out, “are we gonna die?” his tone was laced with worry. “i don’t think so, he said something to keep focused”, “so maybe a hallucination gas or something?” jeno says. “i don’t know man but just finish your job.

yn takes off his jacket and wraps him around jeno’s mouth and nose, “try to not breath much of that gas. you’re almost done with it.. good job” yn pats jeno’s head and sits against a wall.

finally with the last cable being cut the device turns off by itself and jeno celebrates standing up and cheering like a little kid in a birthday party. pressing again the button on his watch to stop the stopwatch seeing he also break his previous record of the time he spent disassembling explosive devices, it made him more confident on his job. he then turns around and see yn slumped against the wall, sweating a lot and his face flushed as hell, “oh my god yn, what happened?” he takes out the jacket around his nose breathing in the gas too. “i don’t know i feel weird… and hot..”, “do you have a fever or something?” jeno caresses his face surprised by how hot he was, “i think this is because to the gas jeno” yn squirms on the spot, a moan escaping from his mouth. this catches jeno off guard and the gas starts affecting him too, “yn i- i’m sorry for what happened that time”, he positions himself on top of yn, his veiny arms on each side of yn and his face turning red too. “i was a fool, scared of being with someone” his face drooping on yn’s shoulder, “i’m so sorry for telling you all those things to make you get away from me” he nuzzles his head on yn’s neck leaving subtle little kisses on the burning skin. yn moans due to the other’s actions, “jeno.. it’s- it’s ok, i’ve already forgave you” yn pushes jeno’s head harder against his neck, showing jeno that he wanted more and the latter complied, his lips sucking around the skin leaving hickeys on it, he then licks a stripe and afterwards bites that spot leaving a mark of his teeth on there. “you look so pretty like this, all flustered” jeno praises. “i need your help jeno… it’s itching… inside me” yn confesses, shy and flustered. “don’t worry i’ll help you with it” jeno kissed his lips, licking the blood that was on them.

the scene escalated quickly with them both discarding their clothes,craving to feel each other’s bodies, the burning sensation that is left on them every time their bodies touch. “i missed this” jeno declared while leaving more mark on yn’s torso. “fuck jeno” yn moaned, hooded eyes and drool coming out of his mouth, he was already a whimpering,”i barely touched you and you are already so fucked up”, jeno swear he can almost see yn’s pupils turning into hearts by how horny he was right now. jeno ripped yn’s briefs leaving them as if it was a jockstrap, his bare ass touching the cold floor. the top’s hand slid up and down yn’s pulsing hole, his middle finger moving right above said part. jeno kept on kissing yn, swallowing his moans while his fingers prepped him down there. “i’m sorry” jeno apologizes again, tears forming on his eyes “it’s not the time jeno” yn holds back a whimper when one of jeno’s digits entered his hole, “i know but i just want to tell you that i still love you”...

jeno slicked his dick with yn’s saliva, that he previously asked him to spit on his hand, and put it on the other’s entrance. pushing little by little until he stuffed yn completely with his fat dick. “i forgot how hung you are” yn express while getting used to the sensation. “but you know how to take it like a champ.. you never disappoint me” jeno praises. his hung cock going in and out of yn’s ass while his balls smacked against him. “god how much i’ve missed clapping your cheeks” jeno snickers and kisses the tip of yn’s nose, “my pretty prince”. “jeno you make me feel so good” yn claims, “yeah i know that, your body tells me everything. i wish you could see how your hole grips on my cock it doesn’t want me to leave it empty”. jeno pulls out watching at the gaping hole clenching, slapping the tip on it and putting it in to then slam himself with all the strength he has left on his body.

jeno keeps railing yn while he lays down, back against the floor, grabbing him by his legs as a way to keep himself steady. on the other side yn was jerking off at the sight he has in front, jeno’s sculpted torso all sweaty and with some marks, his chest bouncing thanks to the recoil of his powerful thrusts and his slutty waist moving as if he was dancing a choreography, in short jeno knows how to fuck, how to make yn feel on cloud 9 with his big dick. few minutes later, unable to hold it more longer and the constant abuse suffered from jeno’s tip touching his prostate, yn spurted cum all over his body with some landing on his face and hair. “wonder how long has it been since you masturbate, this seems to be a lot of jizz” jeno played with the liquid with his fingers, coating one of his digits and then smearing it on yn’s lips like a balm and kissed him immediately afterwards.

“please give it to me. fill me up” yn begged hugging jeno, one of his hand on his wide back while the other on one of his ass cheeks to try to make him go faster, “i love how your tip kisses my prostate but i need you to move faster please, go hard” his moans growing louder when jeno accelerated his pace, “yesss” yn rolled his eyes back, “fuck me like the beast you are. break my fucking ass” the sudden change on the tone of his pleas drove jeno wild, as if those simple words turned on a switch inside of him he went as fast as he could, the outline of a bulge forming on his tummy every time jeno goes in and by consequence yn ends up scratching the top’s back, “what the fuck” jeno growls, opening yn’s mouth with his fingers and spitting on it several times, “swallow it” he demanded, then sliding his index and middle finger on yn’s lips while he sucked them.

now in a doggy style jeno is doing the last thrusts when he uses the previously sucked fingers to introduce them along with his dick on yn’s gaped ass, while his cock keeps opening yn’s walls his fingers massage the rim of his red puckered hole.

“fuckk” with a loud grunt jeno empties himself on yn, every spurt followed by little grunts. jeno plops himself on top of yn, eager to feel the warmth of his body. “that was way good” yn blurted out, caressing jeno’s hair, “good make up sex” jeno adds, both snickered when they hear the door unlocking, “umm… you all can go out now, i could unlock the door again” jisung spoke to both through their earphones and then realization kicks in, yn gasps while jeno stays still with open eyes. they were so focused on each other that they forgot to turn off their earphones, so basically, jisung heard all the heated sex session. “sorry jisung” yn muttered. “it’s okay” in the van a flustered jisung was stunned, flushed face, sweaty forehead and a big tent forming on his pants, “i need a second” jisung tells the rest of the group in the van while going out of the vehicle and ran towards the nearest bathroom.

“do you think he’s gonna say anything?” yn asks jeno who just shrugged it off, “i don’t care, that way they know you’re my boyfriend now”, yn giggled like a fool in love, “i’m serious” jeno seals his words with a passionate kiss.

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 6

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

(I can't believe I squeezed six entries out of this dang episode!!!)

agatha sees billy waking up and takes her usual moment to wipe all genuine emotion from her face and put on her mask. it's getting increasingly clear that this wretch of a woman is always wearing a mask and playing the larger-than-life uncaring witch she wishes she could be

not that she cares about you or anything.

billy does that thing children do. he doesn't say thank you or ask why she's crying, he asks about himself, his current troubles and fears, looking for guidance. that's the wonderful thing about a parent, they give a child a safe environment to grow and make mistakes and explore. A parent is, or should be, selfless. That billy feels safe doing this with agatha tells you he instinctively trusts her much more than he realizes.

agatha never lies to billy

and the way she's always drawn to teaching and explaining and guiding despite herself. deep, deep down agatha is a nurturing person who only ever got to nurture for a short time

I just realize agatha cannot actually say the name billy, can she? because of the sigil. so this is her going, I know it's still you kiddo, behind all that. I see some people arguing that agatha might actually think he's Nicky at first and personally I don't believe that's the case, the dialogue is muddy only to mislead the viewers before the big Wiccan reveal.

Two reasons agatha knew this was billy all along: she's had three centuries to sit with nicky's loss now. nicky is gone for good, no matter all her tricks and her pleading and her endless pit of sorrow, that is the one irrevocable fact that she will never be able to change. that is the cornerstone, the whole core of who agatha is today. she has lost nicky, she has committed unspeakable horrors to cope with that loss. she is afraid to die because nicky is on the other side and she cannot face him.

The second reason is that agatha loves billy for being billy, not just as a nicky stand-in. she was uniquely equipped to understand and empathize with wanda, and that's even truer for billy because he's a little boy and agatha's whole heart is wired and predisposed to reach out to him. she saw the miracle that was his birth, she saw first hand what chaos magic can do. this is a child flung out in the world carrying an immense power and no instructions on how to use it. he's capable of terrible things that could easily turn him into a monster and a pariah, and agatha is, besides wanda, the only person in the world who truly understands what that means. do you remember what happened to agatha at around the age billy is now? everything in her is demanding to guide and help. selfishly, because all that power would be hers to control. selfishly because he reminds her of herself and she wants to undo what her mother did to her. and selfishly because helping billy would in a way redeem what she did to nicky.

and also, selflessly. because she wants to help him grow and be successful and be happy.

billy created the Road to find tommy, sure. but what he's been doing on the Road is finding community. or rather, getting close to witchfolk to find out who he is in relationship to them, exploring the identity he was born with that he cannot express with his adoptive parents. he started with a lot of silly ideas on what witches should and shouldn't be and created trials that are, let's face it, rather stereotyped and demeaning. next trial is agatha and he is puzzling her out now, willing her to become the ideal witch and mentor he's looking for. he's doing it with the grace of an elephant in a china store, but that's just what being a kid is.

aaand the wall is all the way up and she runs away. but we made some progress there, didn't we?

oh to be a vampire and getting to bite patti lupone's neck

rio looks so engrossed and fascinated listening to lilia! rio just loves people, you know? she loves life in all its multifaceted forms, and that's not at odds with her job description at all. she is The Green Witch, she has embraced nature, which is to say life, so completely that all of it is important and precious to her. my headcanon is that as the original green witch she started ferrying souls because she deeply understood and accepted death as natural and organic and sought to help it along. it's funny, lilia is terrified of her but if asked, rio would have such a long list of things that make lilia special.

and that such a being would fell in love with agatha of all people?? god that is amazing. that is how you write a beautifully doomed epic love story. billions and billions of humans throughout history, and agatha is who caught her eye. and not because agatha is a serial killer mind you, that's just foreplay. it's because she is the most intense, the most interesting human Death ever came across. while others saw a damaged girl, rio saw poetry in her extraordinary complexity

and then, through agatha and nicky, rio experienced grief from a new point of view. Death, no longer impartial.

a wiser future Lilia pays another brief visit

and she's gone. her puzzled little face!

from being awkward and fearing her oddities to laughing with her about it. another step toward a deeper understanding, and acceptance, and love.

look at agatha's body language when she approaches. uncertain, arms crossed. these people have seen her without her mask now, openly weeping about billy

and then she puts her hands in her pockets and postures, ready to underplay things. pppft, crying? moi? you guys must have dreamed it.

alice with her big compassionate heart will never be able to think of agatha as cruel and distant again

agatha picks up rio's flower

rio looks at her

pretends she wasn't looking when agatha looks back

you could cut the damn tension with a knife

jen trying to include agatha??? man they did really see her cying fr

look how interested lilia is! I wish shows could just be 15 hours of women hanging out and chatting, no plot, just vibes

agatha glances at rio as if saying, you know exactly which scar this is. and rio chuckles because she remembers the story. THE INTIMACY BETWEEN THESE TWO. I'm going feral again.

what is this, camaraderie? community? perhaps even, dare I say it, friendship???

agatha doesn't know what to do with herself!

behold the textbook definition of 'awkward turtle'

oh rio's DETERMINED

'no you don't' 'yes I do' STOP IT YOU STUPID GAYS

agatha all casual like honey I've seen every inch of that body

just... the way they fell into a rhythm. the doMESTICITY.

lol jen's and alice's gaydars pinging at the same time. like somETHING FRUITY IS AFOOT. AND WE WOULD KNOW.

and fuck fuck fuck fuck I cannot believe I've run out of space again and I need to do a part 7

LOOK WHAT THESE LESBIANS ARE DOING TO ME (it'll be up in like an hour guys don't worry)

go to episode 4 part 7

[radioroxx]

hi pluto i’m here to ask if u have any isat headcanons. about anybody! hope u have a good sunday :))

HAPPY SUNDAY VIA can i call you via. hello

ive mentioned my tattoo hcs before but im gonna expand on them as best i can rn because i think about it occasionally (i am making a lot of this up. right now! for you!)

ok so odile has a lower back tattoo she got in her 20s and i feel very strongly about this one 1. because i think its funny 2. because it makes her 10x cooler. the other day in my moots disc we talked about the idea of odile having a past polycule that she broke off from and so ive adopted that idea and decided the tattoo is a matching one. she does not regret it at all and is still (somewhat) in touch with her ex’s. siffrin was the first person she told about this, drunkenly btw, and for months afterwards he couldnt remember if it was Actually Real or just something his brain made up (and they were too scared to ask lol)

siffrin has star tattoos on his back and shoulders! i was considering giving him sleeves but i changed my mind,, he got them while he was still travelling on his own. possibly theres a region that is more well known for tattooing (havent decided what this would be though)! he was interested from a ‘learning about new culture’ perspective, also just because Why Not. he chose to get stars because it felt right. he somewhat regrets it. (maybe, post canon and later on their journey, he would try out something else. different designs. things inspired by his family! or things he wants to remember)

isabeau has no tattoos. not from not wanting them, but from just never really having the interest. UNTIL travelling with the party. until staying up late with sif in their shared tent and finding out that, on his travels, he learned how to (very basically) give people tattoos. and begs him for one. its like 2am and neither of them are thinking clearly so they agree. they ‘borrow’ odiles ink pot she uses for writing, a sewing needle that isa happens to have on hand, aaaand it. goes very poorly. as youd imagine. he is lucky to have the long sleeves to cover it up. whatever design theyd been going for was absolutely not achieved. but! he cherishes the memories regardless. (incredibly, they would try this twice. the second time would be after bonnie joined the crew, who would catch them awake, beg siffrin for a tattoo of their own, be told ‘no’, but would still be allowed to watch as long as they PROMISE not to tattle to madame and mira in the morning. bonnie absolutely tattles).

mira! does not seem like a tattoo person to me. i think she would be intimidated by the idea- partially in relation to the change belief, partially because she wouldnt know what to get. i like to think tattoos are probably pretty controversial to the religion… some people think they are a very powerful form of change! something you cant take back. others disagree for the same reason, that its permanent. so pre canon no tattoos for her. but!! but! as i mentioned before with siffrin getting tattoos for his family, i think mira might consider something as well (confidence boosted by the fact that the others will be matching). other than that though, it just doesnt appeal to her much.

bonnie has no tattoos also aaand it will stay that way for. a little bit. this is something that upsets them greatly because i also like to believe that nille has PLENTY of tattoos! possibly some she even got when she was much much younger! irresponsibly, of course, and many of them are regrettable. so she steers bonnie away from making that same mistake too young (tries to encourage them to wait until they are 18 at least). maybe bambouche as a whole is a very tattoo-supportive town, which is where bonnie got their interest. this does not stop them from making little paintings up their arms and having the others help out as well, to make up for it, in a non-permanent way.

i havent actually designed what any of their tattoos would look like… thats gotta be something i sit down to think about,,, one day maybe ehe

[lesbianbeeliker]

Marina warrior cats!!

Name: Coralmist (Coralpaw, Coralkit)

Age: 36 moons

Description: dark brown pointed she-cat with cyan eyes

Father: Octostar (Octavio)

Sire: Smokehaze (former clan cat)

Siblings: Eightwhisker (half)

Mate: Pearlnose (Pearl)

Sons: Molluskkit (adopted) (Smollusk)

Backstory:

Coralmist was always beloved by her father more than anything, especially after his mate left. (see family tree video for more context) Octostar always imagined Coral to be the one to take back the beach and put her through rigorous training (apprenticing her and making her a warrior early) to ensure that she would she would be the strongest she could be. Coral had always looked up to her father and even though she often felt much too pressured to be like him. On her first battle mission outside on the beach, seeing the freedom Inkclan had, feeling the breeze in fheir fur, playing and having fun, she suddenly began to change how she felt about her clan and her father. One night she snuck out, leaving behind everything she had known. Thankfully, Pearlnose found her and took her into the clan, and she fit in perfectly since Pearl was from a well-respected family. Despite feeling free, she does still sometimes feel the guilt for leaving her much forgotten sister, best friend, and even her father, though she does resent him a bit (she still loves him.) And eventually she helps save her sister and deadfish from the metro but I'll explain that with eights story, aaand side order I'll get into later but it's gonna be a lot of her guilt eating away at her

[justmeandmysickies]

Okay so Nick and Joe are back together but that's not actually what happened? Or how can I understand that? Not trying to be mean just trying to understand their story! Maybe you could give a rundown of the events you haven't written out? I love those two and I'd love to know more about them and their relationship! All love

ooh thanks for asking anon!! some additional information/ explanation of the "You're a coward" storyline under the cut:

1. Joe and Nick have never been in a healthy functioning relationship

2. When they first got together it was just supposed to be about sex however they developed feelings and figured they'd try

3. they fought more than anything and they both cheated on one another (to deliberately hurt the other i might add)

4. they ended that dumpsterfire of a relationship in mutual agreement

5. they both did some healing in therapy and otherwise after (they stayed friends the entire time because they have a mutual friend group)

6. Nick couldn't let go of Joe, realizing that he did actually kinda love that man and after a long time and lots of talking Joe agreed to try again

7. everything went well for a while (most of my fics with them are set during that time) but they still had loads of issues to work through

7.1. most prominently Nick's commitment as well as his abandonment issues and Joe's control issues

8. Nick broke up with Joe three separate times and Joe talked him out of it because he realized that this was Nick's trauma talking and not what he actually wanted

8.1. basically the more serious the relationship got (usually when hitting relationship milestones like saying 'i love you' for the first time or moving in together) the worse Nick's self sabotage got

8.2. "I'll leave him before he can leave me so that I won't be the one getting hurt"

8.3. that is the reason why Nick broke up with Joe and left when he realized he was actually thinking about marrying him

9. after the whole "You're a coward" storyline it took them much longer to get back together because turns out Joe met someone while Nick was gone - it was basically just sex as a distraction but Joe developed feelings for that guy and then struggled hard with the fact that he seemingly had feelings for two people at the same time

10. Nick obviously had a huge problem with that too (also the guy's name is Ira, and he became an official part of the friend group while Nick was gone)

11. because Ira got adopted by their friends both Joe and Nick have to see him all the time which drives Nick absolutely crazy (he hates Ira on principle) - so Joe has to spend a lot of time reminding Nick that he chose him and not Ira and that he is happy with that decision

12. Joe then has a falling out with his best friend Erik because Erik has a deeply fueled hatred for Nick because of what he did to Joe (and the fact that he also abandoned Erik and their other friends but that's secondary)

12.1. so Erik does not approve of Joe getting back with Nick and never misses an opportunity to remind Joe that he thinks that this is stupid (Joe feels absolutely misunderstood and unsupported by his best friend)

12.2. that puts a strain on their relationship as Joe is really struggling with what to do (he doesn't want to lose his best friend either)

13. right now Erik and Joe are basically just coexisting (and both hurting because of it) while Joe and Nick are working hard on their relationship and making good progress as well

aaand that's everything I'm gonna tell for now because the rest of their relationship may get relevant in the future ("another story arc yay" the crowd says)

[firestorm09890]

if Ienzo was a girl she would be lauded as the Princess of Light (Kairi is a Princess of Heart, which is completely different) in Radiant Garden and instead of taking her on as an apprentice, Ansem would have her do princess things™️ because this is Kingdom Hearts and we know how important princess are in everything Disney and so instead of aggressively and terrifyingly conquering the niche she's specialized in (aka book smarts), she'd be struggling in this princess role, which would be made worse because she can sense darkness and has shadow powers or something so she'd think she doesn't really deserve the title Princess of Light, and it's not really imposter syndrome at all because there are people in the world who think she shouldn't be the Princess because she was adopted, and here our path sort of splits based on the amount of misogyny certain characters have. if Ansem has no misogyny in him then when Ienzo displays curiosity about the science stuff he'll let her do it, but if not, then Ienzo will end up building a bunch of resentment for the guy. personally I think the latter is more interesting, sorry Ansem and also Ienzo. if Even isn't a misogynist then he'll try to kindle that spark of hunger for knowledge in Ienzo, which will, naturally, lead to an all-consuming force, as she's rarely given a taste of what she wants (that is, being in STEM) due to her princess responsibilities. if Even is a misogynist, that just fills Ienzo with even more hatred- hatred enough to almost be opposed to whatever the scientists are doing, and I was going to say it might make her align with Lea and Isa and help them sneak into the castle, except that Axel has had actual canon misogyny moments (buttons...) and their personalities would clash super badly so maybe not. Either way with Even, I feel confident saying that Xehanort would not be a misogynist, and Ienzo would latch onto him faster than in canon as the only person who really gets her, and she'd be much more eager to ruin Ansem's everything. Since this is the Ansem misogyny route, he'd be less likely to listen to her telling him to build a basement lab because what does she know about science? Except that being a princess requires a lot of social stuff so in this universe she'd be able to make up for that loss and it'd happen anyway. she'd have so much fun stomping on that Princess of Light role she never fit into. in the Organization she'd be similar as canon except less likely to take shit from people (like, canon Zexion agrees to the terms of 5d mind chess and plays the game in a very restrained way, girl!Zexion would be TIRED of it) and I think she and Larxene would be friends once Larxene makes her way into the group so not that similar after all because canon Zexion would never be friends with Larxene. aaand post

[nolohini]

it's after 11pm, aka "hurt aredhel hours" are in full swing, and since tomorrow is Sunday let's talk about Aredhel using sex as a coping mechanism, because normally she's so bouncy and I hate writing her depressed.

This actually came about cause rada sent me some hc questions, and Aredhel's sex life is such a mixed bag. I've touched on before that she was a virgin when Eöl forced her into marriage, making her only knowledge of intimacy domestic abuse. This is made worse by the fact that she knew relationships that were not that, she watched Turgon and Elenwë, she watched her parents. She knew it was off completely but it was such a situation full of gaslighting, emotional blackmail, and being told 'i love you' when actively being hurt that it really really fucked her up.

Now I personally believe, aaand play out, that Aredhel was always in the friendzone. Not because she wanted to be, she had crushes and attractions, but the people she wanted to be with always got the more friendly vibe and the people she didn't want to be with somehow were her only suitors. As a result she has a complex about being wanted-- or rather a belief that there's something wrong with her that she isn't wanted. Galadriel has guys falling over themselves for her, she had Fëanor himself wanting her hair ffs. Aredhel is surrounded by guys from Glorfindel to her cousins, but everyone kinda pats her on the shoulder and calls her their best friend. It's a little disheartening.

So after Eöl, who supported the "you're not wanted by your own family. Look, no one has come for you. Clearly I'm the only one who wants you" isolating thoughts, she was on high run vibes for years. Additionally her son was a traitor, nobody blames her but she blames herself, horrifically so. She seeks to heal, to get her life back, and she does for the most part. But then it comes to intimacy, and being who she is, she decides to plow through the problem by taking mortal men as lovers.

At first it's okay, the first man she slept with was gentler, he eased her back into it. She was very fond of him, but as mortals do he died relatively quickly. At first she was sad, but soon enough she took another mortal as a lover, and not realizing it she began to seek out new lovers when she felt disconnected, lonely, unwanted, and depressed. It became a way to feel something, it became a way to get contact where she wasn't giving her own energy to someone else but was getting something. It wasn't much, the more mortals she was fond of, the more her heart broke, so she stopped entering relationships and focused on pleasure instead. She got addicted to the feeling, because for that moment she was all someone wanted, even if it was just to get off. But in her mind, she was getting more and more comfortable in her own skin, more confident.

And even more alone. The second age died with more elves she was fond of dying, including gil galad and celebrimbor. She had elrond still, and more she had her new children, orphans she'd adopted from the war and raised as her own. For a little while she was focused on that, on being a mother, on staying in rivendell, and in rivendell she could rest easier.

But eventually her children died, and even that became quite painful. Still though she fostered and loved... and overall she's very loving and affectionate. But when she's lonely, depressed, pondering too much on her past, sunk so low and feels so tired she starts turning self destructive again, she'll wander off a little while in search of some feeling. She'll find it as she's pressed against a door unknowing of the name of the mortal inside her. It isn't healthy in the slightest, and worse she knows it, but given how damaged she is she lacks the will to care. It's better not to know, because if she knows she might look into his eyes and feel something beyond mindless pleasure.

And she's tired. She's just so tired.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 6: the Shinies!

We are getting into things that divide the fandom a lot (= Feanor and his stuff), so one important note: in the reread posts, I am mentioning the stuff that I find interesting or I remembered differntly, or I did not remember. Those are generally things I wish to remember. Not cherrypicked points to prove anything. Just stuff that was surprising to me + seeking the meaning of "Darkness".

Also, I am a honorary (adopted?) Feanárion, but politically on the fence, pro-Valar, pro-Melkor-getting-over-his-bs, and I think Luthien was cool and Elwing was good (but not as cool as Luthien), but also that the sons of Feanor (Celegorm included) need help, and hugs, and generally something (something not being violence). TLDR: I am not interested in getting into a heated discourse.

OK, now for the reread proper:

A speculation (stated as such) of Feanáro having foresight that things will go bad soon. A more direct statement that he thought how to protect the Light of the Trees to make it indestructable (!)

Trauma foresight = the best foresight, it seems.

They loked like diamonds, so canonically white-ish. their fire is made of mixed Treelight, so I would assume warm white is canon.

They shone like stars of Varda but had real life inside — I really need this in English! OK, I googled it.

OH. Something else but: "he pondered how the light of the Trees, the glory of the Blessed Realm, might be preserved imperishable" — It may be me jumping on things + Tolkien's poetical wording, but this seems like a strong suggestion of "Fefe wanted to jump higher than his head" (he was not the first one) and sheds a light (pun intended) on his sttitude towards the Silmarils later.

Anyway back to that part about life: "and yet, as were they indeed living things, they rejoiced in light" So they are living things, not just "like" living things. Silmarills = baby Trees is canon! (OK, somewhat canon? but they *are* alive, and by logic they must be bred not made-in-the-strict-sense by Feanor)

So they glow by themselves with warm white, but also they are iridescent like diamonds. Beautiful indeed.

Everyone enjoyed them, fefe apparently had no problem showing them to others at this point. I would assume he ok-ed Varda doing her thing on them.

Aaand of course Melkor wants them too.

And, for some reason (I suppose just "it didn't occur to them it may be important") the Valar do not tell Elves that Men will be a thing. Except Melkor, who of course tells them. In secret. Yay. What a trustworthy source of information.

Melkor not understanding Men (I mean, understanding them even less than other Ainur do) because he was not paying attention is canon! :D XD Oh what an idiot. Like… "Nobody told me it will be on the test" attitude. and. this is canon. This is his canon attitude. How am I supposed to not pity him when he sounds so 12-year-old? Yea, he is terrible, but also so childish at times. I'm gonna bluescreen again. Also, he is a jerk very much.

And we get to the point when Fefe gets posessive on the shinies. (Also, Melkor never ever got even close to them)

also the book does not claim the Silmarils weren't his, just that the light living inside them was not his own nor his creation. which very much fits with my "Silms as living creatures" reading.

Melkor is conflicting everyone and projecting his issues on Fefe (BTW I wouldn't be surprised if at this point he tells himself that the Flame Inperishable was rightfully his and was stolen from him etc etc, he feels like he would do that)

Feanor makes a secret forge! That's… a bad idea but also kind of cool. Even Melkor does not find out. that's even cooler of Fefe.

We are explicitely told that Manwë did not react to Feanor speaking about leaving, because the Noldor came willingly and had the right to leave, which would be crazy (in the opinion of the Valar, which I do not agree with, but I do not agree with Feanor's attitude either) but the Valar would not stop them.

Banishment. Fingolfin does not usurp anyone, at least in Polish translation. Finwë moves to Formenos to his beloved son, leaving the ruling of Tirion to Fingolfin.

The jail-crow scene is even funnier after I realized it is after Melkor's lies were found out and he is actively hiding from the police Tulkas and Orome. He talks to Feanor at his gate and (judging from the door shutting at the end) it is either Feanor was coming back home and they talk in front of the gate, or Feanor actually opened the gate to talk with him. This makes it even better. Fefe literally kicks the once-most-powerful-Vala out of his house.

The "do not talk to Feanáro when he is thinking" rule strikes again.

[thismission]

zeta “rook” mercar background/headcanons

- 24yo human/elf shadow dragon mage

- nonbinary gay who’s chill with mainly using he/him because his gender is first and foremost “don’t wanna think or talk about or explain it”

- he doesn’t know it since he’s adopted but his bio mother is an elf from ferelden and his bio father a human from rivain & tevinter

- he’s got the high wide nose bridge from his bio mother because in my heart elves still look like in da2 with dinstinctly different features (instead of just Smaller Humans) aaand i’m ignoring the “no traits from elves” thing for human/elf kids lol

- bio mother didn’t want kids so she handed him off to his bio father after tracking him down and basically went “u take this wretched little creature” and he was like tf am i going to do with this??? and that’s how zeta ended up abandoned

- his mom & dad weren’t planning on having kids at the time but when his dad found him on the battlefield as a baby they considered it a gift from the maker they couldn’t reject so they took him in

- he’s always been taken care of growing up etc but still always felt like his parents would’ve been happier without him and didn’t really want him so he moved out to do his own thing as soon as he possibly could and don’t keep in touch with them much other than with his little sister

- his dad thought it was important he had proper training in close combat and didn’t just rely on his magic which is how he became a battle mage

- can’t make it in the cc but he’s also got a lot of small freckle-like dots of vitiligo all over including on his lips, not just the big patches like in the game, because that’s important to me lol

- always liked to tell himself he doesn’t believe in or at least doesn’t care about love and will stick to casual hookups, then when he meets lucanis he’s immediately like hmm. maybe my biggest dream is to marry and settle down with my beautiful hot tormented older assassin husband actually

- used to hook up with ashur before leaving with varric and goes “ashur??” at neve when she calls him that only because of the surprise at her trying to explain it to him and is then very amused listening to her go on about how it’s the viper’s real name and he prefers to be called that. he’s like “oh does he now who would’ve known lol. hes my boss too btw i’ve met all these people before”

- he can’t focus on anything for longer than two minutes to save his life because his brain is always racing, everyone else gets a headache whenever he and bellara start Talking about stuff. so lucanis then telling him stuff like his voice is a comfort and spite’s comment that lucanis always listens to him makes him want to cry

- he loves to draw and journals by constantly sketching things from his life, at one point it’s just like 40 pages with drawings of lucanis and lucanis definitely accidentally finds out at some point (zeta and lucanis both feel like they’re about to die but for very very different reasons)

- illario gives him his cheek scar when they fight, which is simply the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to zeta in his life……. even including the time he fell off the side of the courtyard at the lighthouse straight into the void of the fade bc he was too busy staring at lucanis standing across from him to see where he was putting his feet

[nukacourier]

(My courier six lol)

(Uhhh he always wears things that obscure his face when w/ the legion or in uniform)

Galileo Numicius- first Travels-many-Trails, then Omari, and now sometimes Evan Davis, is as his name suggests… legion. This isn’t 100% by choice however, t’was both forced and well, partially a side effect of him being overly… hopeful? As a teen- having found the legion when exploring (he had multiple… public identities sorta? Already at this point- and loved to just go into towns and learn all about ‘em, hence the Omari thing lol), and genuinely believing from their words that they wanted to help make the wastelands safer. Alas bro had to watch his parents get well, y’know.

He did, however, become one of the first frumentari (def there before Vulpes at the very least)

Fast forward a bit, woagh, bros in his late 40s, Mojave time wahoo- he was in plainclothes on the trails by himself when he spooked the actual courier six and had to ‘kill em, just took the chip and stuff because it seemed odd- aaand of course that later resulted in him getting shot in the head.

Game story wise, kills benny, goes to that canyon but helps whatstheirname instead of the in game one, he makes deals with as many groups as possible- as well as one less my by oc Adrasteia who technically split off from the pre white glove group, DOES NOT have a great time at the sierra madre- locks bro in the vault hehe, misc info gathering from my oc Jean, nukes the ncr after lonesome road, and well, Legion victory- then ofc kills jean 💀

but well… that thing on the back of his mind that has been bothering him for so so long finally consumes him- what the hell is he doing? The legion has been lying to him, they never helped anyone! Its just killing and pain over and over again in an endless cycle. But kinda gets zapped to big mt before he can process that, yay Grandpa Mobius. Stays there for a while afterwards, before well, wiping out the legion’s leaders and nuking their capital. Kinda easy when you’re so modified that you’re more machine then human at this point even if it doesn’t look like it

technically canonically after that he just, walks out to the desert and starves himself to death but I meannn

But yeah, he was never loyal to the legion because he’s a bad guy- hell the bad things he did haunted him endlessly- but he was just… too… whats the word not hopeful exactly… that in the end they were genuinely going to change things to be y’know, good. But he was just used his whole life and it disgusts him almost as much as he was disgusted by himself. Alongside this he has so many disguises that basically nobody knows the real him, and nobody knows how he feels deep down inside, probably unhealthy ngl he’s suffering.

random facts ig lol

He’s very much aro ase, but is not against initiating romantic relationships while gathering information.

He actually… Surprisingly enjoyed Big Mt- yeah sure his organs were stolen, but he pretty much combed the whole place doing all the tests and what not… After the arc, and hoover dam, he was known to visit frequently simply to talk to the think tank. (He also had a rather long- positive- talk with his brain, they both agreed to reunite, but Galileo feels a bit weird that his own brain is the only ‘person’ he’ ever truly agreed with)

Bro literally reads boring ass psychology books whyyy

Mobius is kind of an adoptive grandpa to him?

Galileo’s ENTIRE life has been devoted to his extreme desire to make the wasteland safer, and a better place for humanity- by discretely nudging things around in the background, and researching prewar texts. He desperately hopes that by the end of his life, the difference will be noticeable… But lately he’s begun to realize that the Legion’s original goal seems to have grown greatly corrupted…

Galileo is technically a certified surgeon, although he more-so learned this just in case he was all alone, and injured.

He has quite a few implants, alongside the cybernetically augmented organs from big mt.

Children sort of intimidate him- any time he’s around them he’ terrified they’ll be injured under his watch, as they seem downright unpredictable.

However, his ‘close friends’ don’t actually know him as himself, and are rather friends with one of his personas. He does somewhat enjoy hanging out with most of them (rip Jean, he did NOT like you 😔✌️), but personally feels he can’t truly have friends. After all, happiness may cause him to slow down, and care less about his mission. At least, thats how he thinks

Extreme photophobia- but his night vision is quite good.

Loves cross dressing and doing makeup.

Legion uniform + usual outfit when as / pretending to be Evan Davis

Unfortunately James himself is very distrustful of the Legion (reasonably) and tends to be very, very hard headed when having to speak with any of their members. But, that being said, if it was a situation like Ulysses where he met him after defecting from the Legion—he'd probably feel sympathetic since he managed to break from the viscous cycle. Although probably still holds some uneasy feelings and mistrust because of the Legion history

James does tend to be very interested in hearing people's stories, so at least that probably gives your Courier a bit more of a boost in the way he'd be intrigued enough to listen

Although it's hard to lie to James, he's good at picking out inconsistencies and applying logic in people's stories (thanks to his 10 INT and high perception) so I feel like he wouldn't want to listen unless he was sure he was being presented with something true

They might have a chance to bond over both being unwilling experiments-turned-friends of the Think Tank however

[karl-raccoon-in-a-teacup]

slams down characters

oda, ango, and dazai aaand akutagawa

Oh you just sent me an entire feast okay. We'll go in the order they're listed, so first: Oda

First impression

Oh hey it's a fairly reasonable guy. In Bungou Stray Dogs. How ni- oh he's so dead.

Impression now

He's a really well-excuted character for the role he serves in the story, and while I more appreciate his role than the character himself, his vibes are on point.

Favorite moment

God Dark Era's so fucking good as a whole but. Honestly. The moment after the kids explode- the line about how he only realized he was the one screaming when his throat started hurting absolutely makes me feral oh my god.

Idea for a story

A continuation(?) of this fic I wrote where I sort of elaborate on the relationship he and Ango develop, and what his life in the Port Mafia is like now that... well.

Unpopular opinion

Dazai and Oda are just platonic friends. It's not a one-sided crush, it's not a papa-son adoption, it's not a brotherly thing, it's a friendship. Maybe it's the aro-aceness but I really do think their relationship is at it's most powerful when it's percieved that way.

Favorite relationship

Buraiha Trio is iconic okay. The Oda-Dazai dynamic means so much to both of them

Favorite headcanon

Despite most assuming that the line in BEAST means Oda dies in every universe but BEAST, I take the line to mean that there are universes where he lives, he just doesn't become a writer like he wants to. And that is just as heartbreaking.

Now Ango...

First impression

Damn... that's rough buddy.

Impression now

Pathetic wet cat of a man and god there's so much sadness in him.

Favorite moment

Gonna be honest it's a tie between one of his most tragic moments (the trio's final time in Bar Lupin as he says he wishes that someday in the future they could come back here again) and one of his "Let me use my tragedy to move me forewards" moments (when in Anne's Space he tells Mushitaro to wait, that this is why he used the Seventh Agency's services, that he had to make amends to an old friend AAAAAAAAA-)

Idea for a story

A continuation of the PM Ango AU because the man is already so, so sad, and that AU just. Does not help make him any less sad.

Unpopular opinion

I like Odango as a ship and I like exploring it as such, but I don't think of as it as canon or interpret canon through that lense.

Favorite relationship

Do I even have to say the Buraiha Trio? (But Mushitaro and Ango's dynamic and the places it could go is a close second.)

Favorite headcanon

He has more moles than the one on his face, you just never see them because the man wears a full suit all the time. But he has them, I promise you.

Onto Dazai:

First impression

Gonna be honest a guy trying to off himself should not be this funny but like. It is extremely funny.

Impression now

A morally gray character I can actually comfortably call morally grey is so, so nice, and I do like that despite his awful past he's trying very hard to do good. Can't call him a good person, but he's doing good things, good for him.

Favorite moment

That one fairly early scene in the Ranpo episode where they have to pull him out of the river, probably.

Idea for a story

Hm, I don't usually write Dazai-centric stuff? (With the exception of the Copycat one) but either something focusing on him and Chuuya's dynamic in the Agency Chuuya AU, where Dazai has to reconcile the boy he met all those years ago with the man he's now coworkers with today... or a scene from a different AU, where Dazai meets a Port Mafia boss at a cafe, and the two of them talk about the tragedy that befell Mori Ogai four years before.

Unpopular opinion

SKK is a fascinating and dynamic ship, but I think the fandom is really sleeping on exploring his dynamics with other characters, especially in AUs that tend to center around SKK. It's not something I feel super negatively on, just a bit oversaturated with it.

Favorite relationship

I am once again holding up Buraiha Trio as my favorite canon example, but I also love to deconstruct the SKK dynamic in settings where they aren't Double Black

Favorite headcanon

...Y'know what I don't. Have one. Uh.

Well onto Akutagawa!

First impression

(Seeing how he treats Higuchi) Oh he's a misogynist okay.

Impression now

A silly little scrinkle boy who needs some work, but I do adore him <3

Favorite moment

Y'know that scene where he's fighting Atsushi and when he gets kicked back we get a flashback to Dazai kicking him back like that, and every moment prior gets recontextualized as we realize that Akutagawa is a direct victim of Dazai being at his worst while Atsushi is directly saved by Dazai being at his best? Yeah. Yeah that.

Idea for a story

I do want to continue his story from my Copycat AU one day, but I just... don't know how to, unfortunately.

Unpopular opinion

I don't ship him with Atsushi. I understand the appeal and say go on shippers! I just personally don't wanna explore their dynamic romantically speaking.

Favorite relationship

However shipping aside I do still find the Akutagawa-Atsushi dynamic very compelling, and I hope we get to see more of them in the future.

Favorite headcanon

Y'know that fish-eye look he does in Wan. With the blank stare. He does that in canon too.

[111tblog]

NOW.

I feel like this should be my first post in terms of self-care, spirituality etc. bc I have recently all of those topics that I feel like tapping into on this blog are leading back to this one.

So basically recently I started reading this book that just feels like an affirmation for all of the things that i have learned through experiences and different ways of thinking that i have adopted. The book is called “The power of now” and is written by Eckhart Tolle. At first I thought it was one of those self-help books that is going to end up on my shelf. And the thing is it was even gifted so, I didn’t touch it for months. But I guess divine timing.

The main point is we don’t realise that there is no future or past - they are just projections aaand ik it sounds super nerdy and spiritual, but keep up w me. We are experiencing life only here and now and there is no other time. It’s our brains that produce the concepts of time that also are the sources like fear and anxiety or sadness. Because if you think about it anxiety and fear are connected with the future while sadness comes with reminiscing.

Our emotions therefore are derived from these patterns of our brains.

Am I saying that they are invalid? No they are going through us for a reason - they teach us so much.

Am I saying that one should not go through them? Absolutely NOT. I feel like holding something and not experiencing it to its fullest height (unless it’s harmful) is the healthiest way to go.

Am I saying that happiness and love are also illusions ? No! As long it’s coming from within but not from an outside source that is deciding of your state and are not connected to your brain patterns…

All I am saying is that they (emotions) are not supposed to affect your state in the sense of your highest state/higher self/best version of you(whatever you wanna call it).

Of course this is how we come to the BINGO of this lil post. Our higher self that is connected to God/Universe/Multiverse/Simulation boss(whatever you wanna call it) is actually a state. This state makes you feel whole and cannot be really described with words(obv bc they are production of our silly little minds).

What comes close to describing is that you are connected to something in yourself that makes you believe that everything is just as great and that nothing can really take away your power of you. It brings you peace.

Sooo this is where the current moment comes in handy. By focusing on now you actually connect with your energetic inner body and realise that it is actually not that deep.lol

Try practicing now by fully committing to what is happening now. What do u hear? How is your body feeling in each and every part of it. Does it feel heavier on the surface that you are sitting/standing on? idk

Just look at your surroundings and experience everything as if there is no tmrw… and at some point you kind of feel like your worries are not valid. Now think about what would happen if you start practicing now more and just using logic when you need it.

Am I saying that ppl should just become bimbos and himbos and be silly and mindless all the time? Maybe :p but kind of the opposite. Cause you are not dumbing yourself down. You kinda step it up by knowing how to be smartass and deciding when to use it and when to center your consciousness in what is really important - your life in the current moment.

p.s. I hope i didn’t bring more confusion, but I hope with future self-care related posts i will be able to tap into manifesting, negative thoughts and sm more topics that derive from this one

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 1 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

so babe, hear me out. we could adopt him. just spitballing here (agatha, probably)

bwahhaha fantasy!billy and his death stare, meanwhile real billy is such a polite baby

if you look closely you can tell Joe Locke is fighting for his life holding down laughter in a lot of his scenes with Katrhyn. he has nerves of steel, couldn't be me

(also, billy telling her she has neither the respect of her peers NOR a fulfilling home life? harsh, but fair.) (at least her wife is trying to fix the home life part)

honey, don't go around kicking grumpy little twinks now! perfectly in character. despite her chaotic exterior, rio is a very lawful person. she is literally the laws of nature!

the Ballad plays faintly in the background when Billy mentions the Road

I love when good actors have to pretend to be bad actors. and I also find it interesting that Agatha cast herself as a good guy. does it make her feel better? is she telling herself that all the atrocities were justified, that it was only survival instinct? (like rio said, she's only lying to herself)

I had to look up the painting, it's Macbeth meeting the three witches (thank you Reddit!) So Macbeth (Agatha) and Banquo (Billy) meeting Lilia, Jen and Alice?

how did I miss Billy sitting on the chair Rio was just on?! amazing lens choices here too

Wanda's death makes her cry again. I honestly, honestly believe she feels awful about what she did to her. but guilt will never be enough to redeem her - especially because she tends to run away from it.

Wanda's magic was so strong that it took at least four things to undo the spell: Wanda dying, Rio's intervention, Billy's counterspell, and Agatha's willpower. It was a group effort, Agatha could have never done it alone. And despite her scorched earth tactics, there are still two people in her life, rio and billy, willing to help out in her hour of need

it's naughty tiiiime

I still really love the curls

can I say iconique?

it's like someone's about to die at the end of this

bwahahahahaah and oh my GAWD all the case files and boxes, where did she GET that stuff, did she rob a precinct, did she make them with the power of arts and crafts

you know what I think? being naked here is a power move. she is being very over the top because she's really uncomfortable, she just woke up and she's in those moments when you stop dreaming and have to relearn what's real and what isn't. she is someone used to calculate and scheme and micromanage every aspect of her life and she is not in control right now. what does Agatha do to reclaim control? she puts on a show. to her, being under the spell was way more like being naked, her insecurities and emotions and past were out in the open for everyone to see. being physically naked could never be nearly as distressing, and this is a nakedness she chose, because it tells people nothing about herself, nothing of what she wants to keep secret and protected. she's got the upper hand, not the other way round

you are all cowards and sheep for not saying Wanda's name, says the lady who would rather hide under a dozen magic layers than face her problems

that is so nice that they brought her groceries actually??? and lol those are the flowers in Agatha's crime scene pictures

that little girl is having a great time

FUCK CLOTHES BUT FUCK THESE CLOTHES SPECIFICALLY!!!!

(wait am I allowed to post butt cheeks? what are the rules right now?)

she turns quiet and emo as soon as she's alone

why doesn't she just - kiss the wiwwle bunny. bury her nose in that big fluffly head. even villains need a cuddle sometimes.

sure, bring señor scratchy. so menacing. that'll show them.

poor boy. trapped in a closet with ralph's bluray collection

aaand I really want to get to the next scene so I'll start on it right away, hopefully it'll be ready later tonight

go to part 4

[setaripendragon]

WIP Game

No one tagged me, I tagged myself in because I want to and you can't stop me =P And I'm tagging everyone who sees this that writes! Do it! Dooo iiit!

Rules: In a new post, list the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

I don't actually have a WIP folder, I have WIP folders, plural. So, I'm adding a rule that I can't have posted any of the fic online anywhere for it to qualify, and I also have to have worked on it some time in the last... four years?

Let's see if that keeps me below the 50 fics mark (place your bets now)...

A Song of Ice and Fire

Codywan In Westeros

King Eddard Stark

Time-travel TyrionSansa

Pevensie Starks

Cat SI

Assassins Creed

Desmond's PLP

Desmond meets Darcy

ATLA

The Lost Nomads

Ursakoda Canon Crossover

Charmed

Phole Time Travel

Dimension Hopping Chris and Wyatt

Gramarye Book 2

Critical Role

Molly Lives... In Caleb's Head

Molly Does a Time Travel

The Patchwork Bower

Slave AU

OT3 Does a Time Travel

FullMetal Alchemist

Time Travel Outsider PoV

What Is Remembered Forever

RoyEd Adopts Harry Potter

Ed Gets Time Swapped

Wei Wuxian as a RoyEd Baby

A Body for a Body

Psychic Wolves AU

RoyEd Time Travel

RoyEd Arranged Marriage

Rise of the Guardians

Hold Out Your Hand Sequel

Everyone Loves Pitch

The Journal of General Kozmotis Pitchiner

Kingsman

Time Travelling Eggsy

The King's Whores

Chavs and Gentlemen

Kingsman's Wolves

Lord of the Rings

Durincest Polyamory

On the Hunt

Sam Time Travel Adventure

Courting Fate

Seven Ladies Time Travel Epic

Gimli As Celebrimbor Reincarnation

Thilbo Reincarnation

Polyamorous Hobbits

Marvel

Three for a Marriage Four for a Birth

Soulmarks Book 3: Our Song

Heterodyne Legacy #2

One Piece

Secret Marriage

StrawHat Time Travel

Trans Sanji

Who Are You

Peaky Blinders

Time Travel

Soulmate Colours

Heart of Birmingham

Self Insert AU

Pride and Prejudice

A Better Timeline

Sherlock Holmes (Elementary)

Friends in Low Places

Skyfall (James Bond)

Calendar Novel: Time-travelling Q

Harry Potter Crossover

JAQ Polyamory Negotiations

Q Has a Symbiote

Fathers and Daughters

Star Wars

Obi-wan is a Slut

Firefly Crossover

Egg-preg Drabbles

CodyMace Time Travel

404 Battalion Not Found

ABO GAR

Aitash Tu Akos

Release My Soul

Strange and Norrell

All Other Wives

Miss Jennifer Strange

ArabellaChildermassSegundus Time Travel

SI: Childermass Family Drabbles

Supernatural

DeanHotch

GabrielJess

How to Make a Baby with an Angel

Atlantis Sideplot: Princess Mia

Wayward Hunters: Where Are the Winchesters

Time Travel Wish Fulfillment

Rising Star #2

Teen Wolf

Noah and the Tattoos

The Blue People Movie (Avatar)

Tsu'tey's Twins

Time Travel Fix It

The Untamed (MDZS)

In Memoriam

WangNingXian Reincarnation

Ed as Zangse Sanren

Zangse and Changze Save the Day

WangXian Reborn as RuoShan

The Witcher

River God and the Sorceress

Curse of the Black Sun

VesiJask: The Sacking of Kaer Morhen

Torchwood

Old Guard Ianto

Aaand the total comes to 90! At least it's less than a 100... And that's just the stuff I've worked on recently! (Yes, four years is recent. I have fics I haven't actually touched in 6+ years that are still marinating in my brain, waiting for the pieces to fall into place) If you've trawled through all of those to get here, you've got more stamina than I do!

Please ask about anything that piques your interest! I'd love to talk about some of these, see if it gets the creative juices flowing. (Also feel free to ask about any of the WIPs I have posted on here or Ao3!)

[honzuki-reymilie]

Fandom-wise, I usually lurk around reddit, tumblr (that barely has a presence), and the jp fandom in twitter, but I haven't approached discord and the fics. If discord and ao3 are just as you say, then I start to understand why you're so pissed 99% of the time about the AoB fandom. Otherwise, I find it more chill and varied than what you've experienced.

Charlotte:

Too good kid. This might be an unpopular opinion but, while it is unfair to Charlotte, I actually think that Sylvester made the best decision that he could at the moment with Roz and Wil's engagement. There wasn't much way to keep Rozemyne in the duchy otherwise. Sylvester and Florencia could have tried to think more about Charlotte's feelings though (Florencia too because she only went to Charlotte after Charlotte's attendant asked her to), but it seems they're too busy thinking about poor poor Wilfried's future and position to spare a thought about her. It's kinda sad and ironic that the only way her dream can be fulfilled is when Rozemyne is out of the picture.

Rozemyne sees her mostly as a younger sister that she can dote on instead of her younger brother, as long as she fulfills her position as an adopted daughter of the archduke. She is compared to an ornament but I wonder how she would compare to Kamil and what furniture he would be. Roz didn't think that she wanted to be Aub since to her, the position of Aub isn't desirable and she didn't think that Charlotte was raised to compete against Wilfried. Personally, I can't fault too much Roz for this considering that she has barely spent any time with Charlotte to know more about her. I wish we could see more interactions between them, and I wish we could see more of Charlotte in general.

I'm at least glad that Charlotte is now the next Aub and that she's been taught the way to the foundation.

(While he is complex, has his flaws,and thoughts about him are mixed, Sylvester is generally thought to be a guy you can't hate. Just post away your thoughts about him if you want, I mean, you already did for Dietlinde)

Dietlinde:

I see a lot of people feeling sorry for her and the way she was raised, but it's the first time I see someone liking her for her bling and fashion. That's kinda refreshing.

"Yes, this goes against AoB's (admittedly ableist) “if you're not of use then you deserve any bad thing that comes your way” theme, goes against YS's standards,"

-> Yogurtland standards ≠ AoB/story theme.

Considering how there's a lot of readers feeling sorry for Dietlinde, I think that it's exactly how Kazuki has written her to be: a hateable villain who's also pitiful since most of her actions and personality stems from her upbringing, environment and the way she was raised. It makes readers think about the influence the education and upbringing can have on a person (this can also be seen with Georgine and other characters as well).

Hirschur:

Yay!! A Hirschur appreciation post!! That's rare!

I love Hirschur and she's such an underrated character!! Characters say that she isn't doing her job as a dormitory supervisor, but hey, she's only doing as much of a job as she's being paid for. Likewise, I wish we could see more of her!! Just how can there be only one chapter from her pov?? We. Need. More!!

...aaand it turns into a 1/3 Ferdinand hate post.

Sorry, I know you don't want people defending him, but I will. I mean, you kinda brought it on yourself by writing a lengthy wall of text in a female characters appreciation post but, anyway, feel free to not respond if you don't wish to.

Ferdinand does know that Veronica cut off her financial help as a dormitory supervisor. He's the one who told Sylvester about it and he's been helping her financially instead from the money he was making by selling the magic tools.

It looks like to me that he's respecting her a lot. Even after graduating and he's no longer a student he still calls Hirschur-sensei and uses polite speech (might be difficult to distinguish in english) when talking with her.

He couldn't have contacted her for about 7 years after he graduated since he was in the temple, and after that we can only guess the cause. Of course, it could be that Ferdinand is just being Ferdinand, but I think that it's more because of something along the lines of: "Now that you've graduated, you are no longer a student, and no longer Hirschur's apprentice. You are only an archduke candidate and a Sovereignty archnoble dormitory supervisor." - noble society. Rozemyne's contact with Ferdinand has been limited, Georgine's contact with Bezewanst has been limited, it wouldn't surprise me that they wouldn't be allowed to contact each other as they wish to. Even now they're only contacting each other whenever there's an excuse/opportunity related to work with a whole duchy involved (ex: Schwartz and Weiss's clothes, Raimunt and Ahrensbach's research that could be awarded).

He wasn't pissy about Hirschur taking Raimunt as a apprentice, he only took back the dangerous magic tools (especially if they were to be improved in a way that anyone could use them by lowering their mana cost) that he created from Hirschur's lab.

I don't mean to undermine what Hirschur did for Ferdi, it's still huge that she protected him even at the cost of her rights as a dormitory supervisor, but it isn't on the same level as Gunther and Effa who went to a 99% certain death by defying the High Bishop, or even Died and Karla who risked their lives by going to the temple and explaining themselves in front of a noble just to retrieve Lutz.

Besides, when he was showing his memories to Myne, he didn't remember Adelbert in a positive context. He was showing Myne the memory of Died telling Benno that having a child isn't about profit and loss, and then he remembered Adel who came to retrieve his son for the sake and profit of Ehrenfest (and because he was ordered by the Zent).

Also, the temple was a place where abandoned ones were sent to for their lack of mana, and criminals who are stripped of their positions and ranks. If one goes there, it stays as a scar forever among noble society. Ferdinand was officially stripped of his position as an archduke candidate, was officially no longer part of the archduke family and was demoted to a blue priest. Sylvester and Karstedt tried to protect him by giving him work and treating him like an archduke candidate, but it still isn't something to do to an ADC who didn't commit a crime (to anyone's knowledge) and was 1st in class in every course. Sylvester did it to protect Ferdinand from Veronica but he still chose to send him to the temple instead of punishing the person who was trying to assassinate him. He thought it would be only for a short while until his mom's "hysteria" would calm down but seven years ended up passing. (He also did it because he viewed the temple in a more positive light than the average noble because of the way his mother treated Bezewanst, but still.) Assassinations attempts aren't new to Ferdinand either, they started since his baptism. Considering all that, I think that it really can't be helped if he felt abandoned.

Delia:

I agree with you.

I can't believe there are people saying that about her. Bruh, she's like, eight!

I can't blame her for going to Bezewanst's side either. Other than what you said, there's also the fact that she's only ever seen his ""gentle and kind"" side.

What happened to her is sad and tragic. But regarding her punishment I don't think that Myne could have lied about it. She's a bad liar (and Delia too), Syl would have seen right through her immediately and just killed her alongside the other attendants instead. And it isn't within her power to retract the punishment either since it's a crime involving another duchy, the harming of archduke candidates etc.

And I can't blame Myne either for not fully trusting Delia (she did go out with them to downtown to buy clothes at least once though) and hiding stuff from her, after all while I can't blame her for it, Delia was still the High Bishop's spy and it could have endangered her life and her entourage, and all the orphans' too.

"They deceive her and make it seem like they're ripping her little brother from her for no reason, of course she feels cornered and threatened!"

-> This one is on Arno. He's the one who told her about the adoption, and in a way that would trigger her fear and anxiety.

Best female AoB character in your opinion?

Boy oh boy do I got Opinions™ about female characters in AoB!

So the thing is that if you plunked any given female character in front of me, my opinion is bound to be at least a little bit positive on some level. Yes, even Veronica. Yes, even Detlinde. Especially Detlinde. And many, many more.

So much so that I had a very difficult time narrowing things down to answer this ask— and unfortunately for y'all I thunk™ about it too much and was ultimately unable to narrow it down to one.

So we're getting: Charlotte, Detlinde, Hirschur, and Delia.

FOUR CHARACTERS, BABY. LET'S GO!

Charlotte

Charlotte is a very fascinating character, in my opinion. Generations' worth of grudges and torment and abuse, all crystalizing in this generation— crystalizing in her. Veronica's pain (because yes she did have a fucked up childhood, doesn't excuse any of her abuse but it does put it into perspective: it shaped her and she literally is passing the pain down) passing onto her children, Georgine's pain passing onto Sylvester, Sylvester's fears and Florencia's all reaching, reaching, reaching down until it got to her. Many people were affected by this chain reaction, undeniably, but in my opinion Charlotte is the point on the map where all these lines converge. Veronica took her brother and more than likely ostracized/abused Charlotte as she did Florencia. This made Florencia try to train her to be Aub. There must've been a touch of desperation in that choice. What does it do to a child, when they know they're being raised for a larger purpose? Their reason for existing? To know everything's laid on their shoulders? Sylvester on the flipside declared Wilfried as heir because he didn't want Charlotte to go through the pain his sister went through of being raised all her life to be Aub only to be snatched away, to be allowed to have a more hazard-free life in his eyes. But his approach, even as it stemmed from love (he loves, he loves so much, his love hurts, but this post ain't about him even as I regard him as an honorary girl bc he's hated as much as many other female characters seem to be but I digress), did not help as he is blind to what his children need (his love is deep as the ocean and twice as blind)— he projects onto Charlotte, and that… makes her feel small. Useless. Unworthy. What does it do to a child, to have your entire purpose be snatched from you? To be made to feel like your father does not see you as capable or worthy?

How do you deal with the weight of all these generational chains on your limbs?

How do you deal with the devastation of walls closing in on you?

Well, how do you?

Charlotte definitely has a complicated dynamic with her family members. Even Rozemyne. Especially Rozemyne. We'll… get to that in a bit.

Sylvester neglects her. I don't think that's up for debate. I am among his most ardent defenders (though it mostly stays in DMs since… I'm not convinced it would be received well) and I can freely say this. He neglects Charlotte. I don't think he dislikes Charlotte or prefers Wilfried or anything, but his way of expressing his love is undeniably detrimental to her well-being and antithetical to what she wants and needs. He's projecting his and Georgine's dynamic onto his children, and in trying to prevent animosity and bitterness he creates exactly that. In Charlotte's eyes, her father favors Wilfried way too much and neglects her, who has been desperate for someone, anyone, to acknowledge her.

Charlotte and Florencia as well, they have a fucked up dynamic. Florencia raised her to be pitted against Wilfried. What does that do to a child.

I understand why Florencia did it but it would've fucked Charlotte up!

She was raised for this purpose, by her mother, and said mother just stands by and lets it happen when her father takes her purpose away.

There's something fascinating to be found here. So much more fascinating than whatever AO3/Discord folk try to milk out of Rozemyne-Florencia. Charlotte's sense of obligation probably has a root somewhere in her younger years.

She's not even the center of the conversation when it comes to the subject of Sylvester's parenting. She isn't! She just isn't! Rozemyne is the focus 99% of the time!

He's neglecting her. EVERYONE is. She has nobody in her corner and yet she's expected to support everyone else.

Even though she might even resent Myne (for promising to support her and then Not Doing That) she wouldn't allow herself to feel/express it bc Myne risked her life to save hers.

The guilt! The sense of obligation/gratitude! The resentment!

I think she redirects a lot of what she might feel towards Myne onto Wilfried, a much less complicated recipient. But she still doesn't, can't, express it outwards because... well. Myne. For Myne's sake.

While Myne revels in her adoration, she doesn't care about Charlotte as a person. She has no true allies, her brother and father ignore her, and her sister looks at her without seeing her.

I keep remembering the fanbook tidbit of Charlotte being an ornament to Myne. She doesn't think Charlotte is capable of anything except looking cute and motivating her. If only the story and the fandom acknowledged that… but nope! She's just there to prop up Myne and bash Wilfried.

I don't quite think she's transmasc either. Yes, I know, I said the opposite before but it was me trying to fit in and figure out her character and after giving it much thought… her storyline deals with systemic misogyny, not gender dysphoria. She wants to be acknowledged for what she is, her capabilities, I don't think she's feeling any worse for being regarded as a girl in of itself— and I am of the opinion that it somewhat undersells her struggle and sweeps the misogyny she's facing under a rug via dressing it up with a queer headcanons. At the end of the day though, people are free to have any headcanon or opinion they so wish, and I have no authority over that. Also fyi I'm genderfluid in case someone accuses me of being transphobic.

All in all, I think she's such a fascinating character because she's the nexus at which all these lines all this hurt all this cumulative trauma from so many generations and so many directions converge into a white-hot light. Gabrielle, Leisengang, Veronica (look, she's a villain and I'll never excuse her for basically choking out an entire population, but I think she had a hard childhood that few acknowledge and more try to excuse and justify), Sylvester, Florencia, Georgine…

She had such potential. And what'd she get in canon and fics? Okay this is making me depressed let me move onto the next character on this list:

Detlinde

Ooooh boy, where do I even begin with Detlinde? She's my babygirl she's my blorbo she's everything. She is to me what Ferdinand is to the rest of the fandom. I will defend her every deed to my dying breath.

So I'll start by doing just that.

She's been neglected. Like, seriously. Do you think Georgine genuinely cares for her? Gieselfried? Do you think she has anyone who's truly on her side?

To take an excerpt from a fanbook (people regard them as like, gospel, right?):

Q: Lady Detlinde spins her wheels a lot during tea parties. Is she, by any chance, a bit thick?

A: She doesn't pay as much attention to her words and surroundings as someone her age and with her status probably should. She's not entirely to blame, though. As the third child of her duchy's third wife-and a girl, to boot-she had a half-hearted upbringing and was never expected to amount to much. That's why she's so proud about her mother becoming the first wife and why she always boasts about being Ahrensbach's next aub.

(Credits to @ming-sik for bringing me this fanbook quote, he actually read through the fanbooks at people's recommendation, so! Thank you!)

Children are always more perceptive than people think— they absolutely pick up on the fact that a particular adult doesn't really care or that they might hurt them, it's just that their defense mechanism kicks in to shield them from the fact since having your sole source of protection and guidance hate you is an earth-shattering revelation for a child to confront and acknowledge.

I've seen fics justify this neglect by saying even Georgine gave up on her because she was Just That Dumb or something like that. Which, even if you subscribe to that kind of narrative, it still doesn't make it not abuse. It still doesn't make it not neglect. No child should be abandoned simply because they did poorly in academics. Yes, this goes against AoB's (admittedly ableist) “if you're not of use then you deserve any bad thing that comes your way” theme, goes against YS's standards, but I am my own person with my fully formed morals and worldview, not a Yogurtlander with Yogurtlander morals, and I shall judge characters from my perspective.

(It is also in a similar vein that I dislike the notion that Charlotte's neglect is bad because she's more competent than Wilfried, no child under any circumstance deserves abuse or neglect, in my opinion.

People somehow stop registering abuse as abuse when it's happening to a character they don't like. Detlinde being drugged and likely assaulted is her fault and she's a whore. It's her fault she got discarded and neglected by her parents anyways. Wilfried deserves to be imprisoned in the Ivory Tower. They don't seem to think it's “real” abuse if the victim did something that “justifies” punitive narrative violence, it's just really unpleasant to see.)

With all that context in mind, I think this puts Detlinde's behavior into perspective. Being conveyed to, both explicitly and implicitly, that she is unlovable, she will never amount to anything, she's not wanted, she's not useful, all those things, she copes. She copes by loving herself because no one else would— though she spins it as “they just don't realize how awesome I am because they're too dumb for it”.

Remember what I said about children's defense mechanism kicking in to shield them from the fact since having your sole source of protection and guidance hate you is an earth-shattering revelation for a child to confront and acknowledge? Same principle here.

When people around her, all around her, constantly and routinely imply and convey that she's all these negative things, when they try to shoot down her ideas (you can't tell me her whirling dress and hair was bad, you haven't seen half the historical fashion in our world, the bling, the shine, the detail— any historical hairstyle, southeast asian headdresses of gold studded with gemstones, beetle wings intricately embroidered onto garments, the absolute flair, I find it hard to fault her for wanting something pretty, YS's fashion is so very bland), not listen to her, not guide her, all that, I think her narcissism is not only a predictable kind of trauma response/defense mechanism for her to develop but one could even argue it is virtuously defiant. Whereas Ferdinand chose to embody noble society ideals (don't try to tell me he's some deviant, he's just not), Detlinde stubbornly tries to maintain an ironclad grasp on what she feels is true to her.

I do not want to hear any of you come to tell me that Detlinde sucks, actually, because I've had to sit and watch as the entire fandom trashes on her and insults her and calls her a whore— if there's anything all three branches of the AoB fandom (reddit, discord, tumblr) agree on, it's that Detlinde deserves to be hated. I have had to live with y'all's vitriol all this time, don't bring this onto the sole post in the entire internet that sympathizes with her. Good? Good.

How am I to sympathize with a grown man over a fifteen-year-old girl who didn't even want the marriage in the first place? How am I to sympathize with a twenty-something man who is such a shitheel to her in every regard, manipulates her with the intention to have her dead eventually? She was so happy. She didn't want the marriage at first but she was so happy to have someone who seemed to appreciate her. Isn't that sad?

Detlinde is the Atlas holding up the sky of her entire self. No one else will do it for her, so she must. All alone.

She's such an interesting character to me. Too bad Kazuki hates girls/women and children and Detlinde is clearly written to be a shallow, hateable villain. And the fandom? Completely fell for that! Not a single soul besides @ming-sik and I refused to regard her as a fucking demon.

I love her because she's defiantly confident. A crystal flower in a collapsing cave. So dazzling, so beautiful because of it.

Uhhhhh how to end this section— okay let's do a quick-fire round of other shit I like about her:

She's pretty. Like super, super pretty. Shame people constantly give her shit for resembling Veronica.

She's funny. She's so fucking funny. Among the most amusing characters to me for sure.

HER BLING. I know people like to make fun of her fashion but! Her whirling fashion didn't even look bad to me! Also she has my single most favorite adult updo style. It's so elegant and pretty.

She's silly. I guess this also falls under the funny umbrella but she's such a silly goose I love her.

She's just a normal girl. She likes pretty things and plushies and is bad at school. She'd KILL it in a modern setting. I can so easily picture her at a cafe or an arcade. She wasn't born for YS she was meant to be somewhere happier!! Tragic!

She forces the AoB fandom to think about a woman at any cost. They can't get her out of their heads. So many fics exist just to bash her. Someone even made up OCs just so they could write more Detlinde bashing. Feminist queen.

Now to move onto another funny character who might have some surprising depth:

Hirschur

She's such a mood. She's my silly goose. She doesn't care about being proper or whatever. Stay unbound, queen.

Hirschur is so interesting (and endearing) to me because she isn't someone who gives a shit about societal conventions. She's quite un-noble-like for a noble lady. She's kind. She's eccentric. She would stand against the world for her students. The ones who have nowhere else to go. One would think Ferdinand would see her as his savior or a parental figure considering she did practically raise him (as he stayed in the RA all year long instead of going back home) and he just ghosts her as soon as he graduates. Hirschur takes in Raimund and Ferdinand has the audacity to get pissy about it. Dude. SHE'S JUST DOING AS SHE'S ALWAYS DONE.

She helps people! That's what she does! Hirschur spins it as for selfish reasons or bc of her whims but the truth is that she is just kind. I don't think it's a coincidence at all that both students she took under her wing as personal apprentices had no one else to turn to. She frames it as “picking out interesting/promising students” but the fact remains that she shields outcasts from the rest of the world. Heck, she tells Sylvester to keep not supporting her so that she isn't beholden to the archduke to choose who she's allowed to help! She! Doesn't give a shit! About politics!

Hirschur's isolation is way more compelling because she USES it to help people and clearly conflicts with noble expectations of faction politics. She ain't got no time for this faction politics nonsense she's got research to do and students to help!

She's actually eccentric too. She's actually an interesting freak. Her eccentricity puts her in a position where she doesn't really rely on people's approval of her or her choices. She does what she wants and if you get hissy and pissy about it then that's a you problem. She's willing to accept a massive drop in her resources (FOR research at that, she's fucking poor) because it means she doesn't have to isolate a kid with no other options.

It baffles me and honestly kinda irritates me that she's not appreciated enough, not by the characters, not by the fandom. Ppl make such a big deal about Ferdinand seeing parents go to hell and back for their children and it doing smth to him but... he's experienced that. He received that. Hirschur stood against the world for him. While he's having his pity party trying to cure Myne's amnesia, he only flashes back to his father Adelbert. Dude. STOP THINKING ABOUT THE SPERM DONOR THAT LET THE ABUSE HAPPEN, THINK ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT PROTECTED YOU. Like Ferdinand, what about all the other people in your life. There are so many people who love you, why do you not care???? In hindsight, him acting like a poor unfortunate abandoned soul in the temple is just insulting. He says all of “us” were abandoned to Myne but he wasn't abandoned. He's only in here because his brother is clumsily but genuinely trying to protect him and he ghosted his support network. Sylvester's attempt was misguided and he was trying to say “You're capable and I trust you and you have a place by my side, please stay by my side” by giving him work. He was trying to— okay I'll stop now this post isn't about Ferdinand and Sylvester it just makes me fucking mad the way Ferdinand acts. Ferdinand, my guy, you want family? WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT STOOD AGAINST THE WORLD TO MENTOR YOU?????????? Hirschur helped him well enough that he was happy and “having the time of his life” during his RA years. She worked so hard for that boy and for what.

She's just. Unappreciated.

But then again a female character having the fandom's attention might not be a good idea since somehow someone will eventually find a way to demonize her too.

Anyhow her eccentric brand of kindness is much more interesting and infinitely more compelling than Ferdinand's “hard-to-understand-kindness”. He isn't kind, he's just mean.

Hirschur never even told Ferdinand that Veronica was cutting her off for sheltering Ferdinand. Because that's the choice she made and she stands by it and that's not her student's problem. She probably didn't want him to feel guilty.

ALSO another disclaimer because I know this fandom too well: I will neither entertain nor respond to any commentary on this post that pertains to Ferdinand because I just know people are going to derail the entire conversation and center the discussion around justifying this golden boy on a post meant to spark a discussion about female characters that never get discussed at length. Do not comment or reblog saying Ferdinand isn't bad actually because blah blah blah reason. We have had to read y'all's extensive Ferdinand posting all this time. Everyone talks about Ferdinand and not about any of the female characters to the same extent. Keep that blue thing off this post. You can bear for things to not be about him for once. Okay? Okay.

Other reasons I like her:

She's funny. She's so funny. She's so entertaining.

She's adaptable and open-minded. When she saw Myne's PandaBus she went “oh! makes sense!” and immediately adapts it into something that makes sense to her. This is in contrast against Ferdinand who despite being a “genius innovator” only ever acts like a stick-in-the-mud-with-no-imagination.

I've said this before but she doesn't conform. She's proudly eccentric.

Everything people like about Ferdinand is actually true about Hirschur, in my opinion. Her kindness is disguised but she does have a heart of gold, she's ostracized and poor, she's a genius, she's unhinged and eccentric, she doesn't conform, she's even aro coded.

Again, do not try to defend Ferdinand on this post, we've had to live with people misinterpreting and bashing and insulting our faves (if they don't outright ignore them) all this time, I'm not even calling Ferdinand anything on the level of “whore” or “homewrecker”. Deal with it.

And now we move onto the next girl— last but not least is:

Delia

She's so tragic. Her entire situation is so tragic. How do people hate this girl I'm gonna cry.

First of all, she's a victim of grooming and manipulation— and she is a child. She is, what, eight years old? when she first appears.

Just wanted to establish that right off since I don't think even Myne sees her as a child.

She was being actively manipulated and used by the primary adult figures in her life, she views becoming a mistress as a good fate because at least she won't be starving and surrounded by death in the dark. She was “rescued” because she was pretty. Of course she'd cling onto that!

She doesn't understand what a “family” is because she's never had one and she was never raised with love. She asks Myne, “Are things like family really all that great? I never really understood what a family is.” and Myne replies “It's where I belong. It's the one place where I feel the most at ease.” and yeah! That's an honest and genuine answer! It gives Delia much to think about, and being raised in the Temple with no love… what else would she assume but “No matter how well I serve you, you'll end up leaving me anyway. Right, Sister Myne?”

This is a situation in which neither of them are at fault— Delia asked, so Myne answered honestly, and Delia… yeah. Why wouldn't she assume that. Why wouldn't she want to turn to the “certainty” she's familiar with, rather than give her heart to someone who'll leave her anyways? With Dirk she finally understands love, finally understands what family is, and she's so desperately terrified of losing this, the one unambiguously good thing in her life that doesn't have complicated stuff attached to it. Why wouldn't she try to protect it, protect him? Why wouldn't she want to be with him all throughout? And Ferdinand and Myne, they deliberately keep shit from her! They deceive her and make it seem like they're ripping her little brother from her for no reason, of course she feels cornered and threatened! And remember what I said about certainty vs the unknown? Thinking (well, knowing, really, because was she wrong at all?) Myne would leave her no matter what she does, thinking Myne would never trust or prioritize her (I mean, she didn't, Delia never got to exit the Temple w Myne like Fran and Gil did), and Bezewanst (the one who “saved” her) promises her that he'd not only find a better future for Dirk but also allow her to be with him? What's a young desperate child gonna do? Maybe if somebody had properly communicated with her, this wouldn't have happened.

And then she gets trapped in the place she feared anyways, never allowed to leave (she never got to leave the Temple in the first place).

And then her brother gets torn from her anyways.

They just trap her there forever. She never gets to be anywhere or go anywhere.

And I'm just… supposed to be fine with that?

Yeah, yeah, mercy, mercy, blah blah blah, I wish Myne would've planned for this to be temporary and not forever unto Delia's death. But nope! Myne never retracts her decision ever! Like hell Sylvester would've known what Delia's worst fear was, she could've just lied.

ANOTHER disclaimer: my god please do NOT come at me with justifications on why Delia's fate was fine and warranted, actually. I have seen fandom discussions and such justify it to hell and back and some even say Myne should've just let her die. If you're one of the people who think Delia deserved it, GO AWAY.

The way many people talk about her, if they talk about her at all, makes me think they genuinely do not recognize that her situation is fucked, that CSA and grooming are harmful at all. So there was once this fic I read. In the dedicated discussion space for that fic, both author and audience alike were like: “she's so dumb for wanting to be a mistress she doesn't know what reality is she just thinks it's easy glamorous work so we should traumatize her to teach her a lesson about reality but also to punish her for ‘having caused the attack on Myne in canon’ as well we're so smart” via making her watch a woman in labor. Which she of course got traumatized by.

Way to miss the point.

Way to miss the fucking point.

She's so desperate to be a mistress not because she thinks it's glamorous work but because she's terrified of being trapped in a place that neglected and starved her! It's a desperation for survival! It's a trauma response! Gods above, people are incapable of sympathizing with children (especially if they're girls) in this fandom and series.

Delia is… well. She's such a tragic character. Her wanting desperately to be saved from something that she also thinks is completely normal is… it's interesting. It's heartbreaking. I must sound like a broken record by now. Her upbringing and trauma actually informs the actions she takes, and she gets to have an effect on other characters! Her choices aren't without consequence, and that makes her interesting unlike a certain blue someone whose dickishness doesn't affect anything negatively ever. People in this fandom act as though trauma and its effects are only limited to affect dumb people. (A la someone saying trauma can't be the root of a certain character's dickishness bc it's “too sentimental” for that character, ignoring how trauma is illogical and affects you in ways you might not even notice). People insinuate she's dumb and had it coming. It's just so exhausting and disheartening to see. Thankfully, tumblr folk don't talk like that, because they don't talk about her at all. Nor about any other female character to the extent everyone talks about Ferdinand. I swear to god he's the only thing anyone ever talks about.

So yeah! Four female characters I find most compelling. Probably not anyone's pick, except Charlotte though she isn't talked about and explored in-depth to the same extent as a certain other character is. She just gets mentioned as being better than Wilfried and it's all done, no need to talk about everything else about her. I hope this post was able to give a new perspective to people who might not have considered thinking this much about these characters! Pretty please do keep negativity about them off this post, I do not need to know you want to put twenty bullets through Detlinde's body or whatever.

[mycoolwritingcorner]

Visiting Auntie Mako

Written for Sailor Moon Platonic Week.

Day 4: Future.

This could kiiiiind of be seen as a follow up to the piece I wrote for Sailor Moon LGBTQ week, but really the only carryovers are that Mako and Mina both have babies. Anyway, enjoy!

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“Are you excited to see your aunties?” Mina asked as she made her way up the stairs of Ami and Mako’s apartment building, holding her red-haired baby in her arms.

The little one simply giggled and clapped in response. Mina and Rei had adopted little Noriko about six months ago, and the baby was approaching a year of age.

Mina knocked when she reached the door to her friends’ apartment. She heard some shuffling from inside before finally, Mako opened the door to greet them, looking half dead.

“Oh… hey Mina… what’s up?” Mako asked groggily.

“Uh… not much… I just wanted to stop by and see how you and the family were doing. You okay?” Mina asked, concerned for her friend’s well-being.

“Oh, yeah. I mean you can come in, it’s just me though.” Mako said, rubbing her eyes as she welcomed her blonde friend in, “Ami and Yuu are at her mom’s… I think. I wasn’t conscious when she left.”

“Uh huh… and you’re sure you’re okay?” Mina questioned again, sitting down on the couch with her baby.

“Oh, yeah. Yuu just… had some trouble sleeping last night… which meant we all had some trouble sleeping last night.” Mako said, sitting down on the couch with them.

“Oh yeah, we’ve had some nights like that with this little one. Yes we have, yes we have!” Mina said playfully, bouncing her baby up and down gently, “Yeah those… Mako?”

The blonde looked over to see her friend already nodding off to sleep, jostling her lightly.

“I’m up! I’m up!” The brunette exclaimed, jolting back upright.

“We can come back later, it seems like you need to rest.” 

“No, no, it’s fine. With the kids and work we hardly ever see each other anymore. It’s actually really nice to see you.” Mako said with a weak smile.

“Heh, yeah I feel ya. Things were a lot simpler when we were kids, weren’t they?” Mina said, sitting Noriko up on her knee.

“If you ignore the monster fights then yeah, sure.”

“Hey, I know for a fact that both of us have changed some diapers that were way worse than half of the monsters we ever fought.” The blonde shot back, digging into her baby bag for a rattle for Noriko.

“Boy if that ain’t the truth. Not to mention the monsters usually had the common courtesy to not attack in the middle of the night.” Mako said, pulling out one of Yuu’s spare rattles and rattling it in Noriko’s face, prompting her to snatch it away with her little hands.

“Thanks. But yeah… adulthood’s pretty wild. Who would’ve thought?”

“Yeah. It’s funny though… even after a night like last night…”

“You wouldn’t trade it for anything, would you?” Mina finished for her friend.

“Nope.” Makoto affirmed with a smile.

“I get what you mean. Although if her teenage years are anything like mine… woof, that will not be fun. But at least… Mako?”

The auburn-haired woman had once again nodded off to sleep. Her head rested on one of the couch’s armrests.

“I think we should probably see ourselves out… Auntie Mako needs her rest.”

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Aaand that does it for Day Four! A bit short, I know, but I felt like I said all I needed to. And also... I wanted to let the poor girl sleep.

Come back tomorrow for Day 5: Body Swap! I’ve got a fun story for Ami and Rei cooked up for it.

But until then, please let me know what you thought! Comments, reblogs, likes, etc. are much appreciated!

And until next time, take care everyone!