"Pardon Me, Are You Aaron Burr, Sir?"
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/1FnKWuO
by Ick_arus
"Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?"
The voice strikes a chord with him; he does not know the voice and he does. He has heard this voice once before; there is only one person that has called him like that, yet it seems like a lifetime ago.
He whirls back at it all the same. He takes in the sight; a boy, one that stands with all the confidence of a man but a boy
nonetheless, around his age, skinny and pale with odd eyes and long hair. Burr does not know him.
Does he?
And
"Pardon Me, Are You Aaron Burr, Sir?"
Burr looks up from his laptop, quirking an unimpressed eyebrow. “That depends, who’s askin’?”
(Or; Across the Multiverse, Alexander Hamilton still insists on calling him Aaron Burr, sir
Words: 2980, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: Hamilton - Miranda
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: Multi
Characters: Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens, Aaron Burr, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, James Madison
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette & Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr & John Laurens, Aaron Burr & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Aaron Burr & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, sorta
Additional Tags: Hamilton Lyrics, Hamilton References, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Reincarnation, sorta - Freeform, i don't think we give laurens enough credit, hes literally choas incarnate in the first bit of act 1, Canon Related, Canon Universe, Aaron Burr-centric, Aaron Burr is So Done, James Madison is So Done, Minor Thomas Jefferson/James Madison, Good Friend James Madison, Alexander Hamilton is a Little Shit, Alexander Hamilton Being Alexander Hamilton, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, Alternate Universe - Corporate, Human Disaster John Laurens, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, First Meetings, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Modern Era, Alternate Universe, Revolutionary Set (Hamilton) - Freeform, Chaotic John Laurens, Drinking, Drunkenness, no beta we die like John Laurens, I have no shame apparently, Alexander Hamilton is a Mess
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/1FnKWuO
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Fish Lawyers
FISH LAWYERS!!!
Alex ends up getting a new phone with Theodosia Sr’s old number, and Aaron has been texting said number since she died. Alexander responds, they introduce themselves, and Alexander attempts to keep up a wholesome conversation at 4 in the morning. (Hint: he’s not very good at it.) Contrary to the title, this is NOT an AU where AHam and Burr are fish who are lawyers.
Stranger: [Modern AU. After the death of Theodosia Sr, Aaron continued to text her number as a way to keep up “communication” with her. Alexander was just given her old number. They don’t know each other.]
Hey, Thea. I’m sorry, I know it’s been a while, but I think you’d be glad that I can get by a few days without pretending that I’m talking to you. Still, old habits die hard, I suppose, and I don’t think I’ll ever truly get over you.
But I digress. After all, there is a reason why I’m messaging you today. Theodosia took her first steps! And them immediately fell flat on her face and started crying until I put Blue’s Clues on. I wish you could see her. She looks like you, and she’s already mastered the puppy eyes that you know I can never resist. You’d probably be able to take care of her better than I ever good.
I miss you and I love you. -AB
You: Hello there. I don't mind if you continue to message this number, but I wanted to let you know that it was reassigned from the previous owner. Thea, I presume? AH
Congratulations, by the way! First steps are very important! You should be proud :) AH
Stranger: Oh! I'm very sorry for disturbing you. If I had known it had been reassigned to someone who wasn't her, I wouldn't have. -AB
You: It's fine! Don't worry about it. Like I said, I don't mind it. It's sweet, the way you talk about your daughter. AH
Stranger: Well, she's a sweet girl, there's really no other way to talk about her. -AB
You: She sounds like it. You sound like a good father. AH
Stranger: I certainly do what I can, although I'm not sure if I can quite be classified as "good." -AB
You: What makes you say that? AH
I don't think you're being fair to yourself. AH
Stranger: I just don't have as much time for her as I'd like. -AB
You: That's hardly a punishable offence. Lots of parents have to make sacrifices for their kids, including working for the money so that they're safe. AH
Stranger: I appreciate that you think so. But trust me when I say that I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to her. -AB
You: Are you trying, though? AH
Stranger: Absolutely, yes. -AB
You: Then you're doing the right thing. AH
Stranger: Thank you. -AB
You: It's a fact. You don't have to thank me. AH
Stranger: Factual or not, it's something I needed to hear. AB
You: Well, I guess you're welcome, then. Try not to be too hard on yourself. AH
Stranger: I'll try. AB
My name is Aaron, by the way. AB
You: Alexander. AH
It's nice to meet you. I say meet, but... Text, I guess, is a better word. So. It's nice to text you. AH
Stranger: You, too. AB
You: And really, if you ever feel like talking to Thea, I don't have to respond. You can still text this number, if you want. AH
Stranger: I appreciate that, but I think she'd be upset with me if I kept this up for much longer. AB
You: You'd know better than I would. AH
Stranger: And regardless, stopping pretending that I'm talking to her will probably help me move on. AB
You: You can tell me to fuck off it's it's too personal, but can I ask? About her? AH
Stranger: She was my wife. And she passed away when Theo was born. AB
It'll have been a year soon. Two weeks. AB
You: My condolences. Losing the people you love is never easy. AH
Stranger: No. It's not. AB
But I've got Theo. I'm alright. Or, I will be. AB
You: You will be. AH
Theo is lucky to have you. AH
Stranger: Thank you. AB
You: ((Is a timeskip alright?))
Stranger: [totally!]
You: [two weeks from the date; sometime around three in the morning] You didn't give me a date, but I figured I would send you a message anyways. I hope you're holding up alright. AH
Oh, shit. You're probably sleeping. My bad. Sorry if this wakes you up, man. AH
Stranger: No, I'm awake. And I appreciate that. It technically is today, actually, and I'm hoping that I'll be able to focus more on the fact that my daughter is turning one. AB
You: Oh. Good. I mean, not good, because it's late... Or technically, it's early, I guess. And you should be sleeping. But good, because I didn't wake you. AH
I haven't slept in a while. AH
Are you doing something special for her birthday? AH
Stranger: Probably more Blue's Clues. Maybe I'll throw in some Wonder Pets, if I'm feeling really crazy. AB
You: Both good choices. No party, though? A one-year-old's gotta party, Aaron. AH
Stranger: I know, I know. Maybe I'm being strict, but in my defense, she can't really articulate what she wants out of me yet. AB
She can say "tree" and "red" and "fish" that's about the extent of it. AB
You: Well, maybe she wants a red fish! In... a tree? AH
Sounds like some Dr. Seuss shit. AH
She at least needs cake. Every kid has to smash cake on their face when they turn one. It's tradition! AH
Stranger: Is it?? AB
I'll be sure to keep that in mind. AB
You: Of course! It's a very important milestone in every child's life, the cake-smashing. AH
Stranger: Then I'll have to get one later. AB
You: How weird would it be if I wanted to get your daughter a cake? AH
You: Is that too weird? AH
Stranger: A little. But I don't really mind. AB
You: Oh, thank god. I thought it was going to be weird. AH
When it gets past the thirty-six hour mark, I tend to lose track of what functioning human beings are supposed to do. AH
Stranger: That's fair. Why are you up so late? AB
Or, early, I suppose. AB
You: Working. AH
That was descriptive. Man, I am out of it. AH
I'm working on a paper. Lots of words. Gotta get them right. AH
Stranger: Ah. Fair enough. AB
Should I leave you alone? AB
You: No. The words are still happening. Besides, I texted you. AH
Stranger: Still, I wasn't sure how long you wanted to be talked to. AB
You: I've been told I'm an asshole when I don't want to be bothered, so you'd probably know. AH
I've been told I'm a lot of things, actually. Very colourful, very unique things. AH
I really need better friends. AH
Stranger: If it makes you feel better, I don't actually have friends. At all. AB
You: You have one, at least. That's something, right? AH
Stranger: Do I? AB
You: I'm buying your daughter a cake. I think I can call myself your friend. AH
Stranger: Yeah? AB
I'd like that. AB
You: Good. Because it's happening. AH
How would you feel about taking care of a fish? AH
Stranger: I'm sure I could manage. AB
You: Good. Because I'm going to get your daughter a red fish, but since she's a little small, it'll probably fall on you to take care of it. AH
Probably. Unless Theo is very advanced for her age. AH
Stranger: Not quite yet, no. AB
You're being very generous. AB
You: Kids deserve all the spoiling they can get. AH
I do what I can with my own son, but I don't see him often enough to feel like I'm actually making an impact. AH
Stranger: You have a son? AB
You: Oh, shit. AH
I swear, I'm not some insane person who's not allowed to see their kid for reasons! I didn't mean to mention Philip. AH
Yes, I have a son. The long story short is that I'm divorced and my ex-wife hates me and has custody. AH
The short story sounds bad, but I swear I'm not a creep. AH
Stranger: I trust you. And I'm sorry that you don't get to see him more often. AB
You: Oh, thank god. I probably sound like an idiot. AH
I made some stupid decisions and I was a really shitty person to her. My ex-wife. She deserves to hate me. I just wish I got to see him more often, y'know? AH
Stranger: Of course. I can't imagine what I'd do without Theodosia. AB
And I suppose I'm not helping by saying that. My apologies. AB
You: No, no, it's fine! Totally fine. God knows I'm rambling enough. AH
But that's enough about my sob story of a life. It's your daughter's birthday! You should be celebrating! AH
Stranger: Well, she's asleep at the moment. Thank god. AB
You: Ah. That makes sense. It's almost four in the morning. Normal people sleep at four in the morning. AH
Stranger: Yeah, I tend to notice that, too. AB
You: You should sleep. It's four in the morning. AH
Stranger: No, I'm working. AB
You: You're working? AH
Stranger: I am, yes. AB
You: What're you working on? AH
Stranger: A drunk driving case. I'm a lawyer. AB
You: Seriously? Me too! AH
The lawyer part, not the drunk driving case part. AH
Stranger: Really?? That's one hell of a coincidence. AB
You: The world is a strange place, Aaron. AH
A strange, strange place. AH
Stranger: No kidding. AB
You: I guess lawyers aren't normal people. AH
Stranger: They are lawyers, so I wouldn't think so. AB
You: Because normal people sleep at four in the morning, and we're both awake. AH
Stranger: And most people, I think, are unwilling to go through hours and hours and hours of law school, only to then go through hours and hours and hours of very similar material. AB
You: You have a point, I think. AH
Most of my friends think I'm insane. Sometimes, I actually agree with them. AH
Stranger: I can see it, yeah. AB
You: I feel like I should be offended... AH
Stranger: You are the one who is offering to buy a stranger's daughter both a cake and a fish. AB
You: You'd be a stranger if I didn't know your name. I know your name: It's Aaron. So we're not strangers. AH
Stranger: A person who you've spoken to once before tonight. AB
You: A very nice person who misses his wife and loves his daughter and has no one else to spoil her for him. AH
Stranger: You're ridiculous. AB
And very kind. AB
You: Ridiculous, I can concede to being. But I'm not kind. I'm just a person. Doing what a person would do. AH
I'm personing. Person-ing. Being a person. AH
Stranger: Being a person works. AB
And while that is technically true, I don't think many people would do this sort of thing. AB
You: They would. If they were the right sort of people. AH
Stranger: Unfortunately, I think the right sort of people are rather difficult to come by. AB
You: Words are strange. I think personing should be in the dictionary, don't you? AH
I guess... But still. It's what people should do. Besides. Theo can say red and fish. What better way to further her learning than to give her a red fish? It's just logical, really. AH
Stranger: Of course. How could I have not thought of that before? AB
You: I don't know. It's a pretty bad oversight, in my personal opinion. Red fish today, lawyer tomorrow! AH
Stranger: That sort of implies that the red fish will become a lawyer. AB
You: Maybe it will! Who knows? Maybe in the future, all the best lawyers will be fish. We'll be out of a job. AH
Stranger: Yeah, I think that 4:30 am brain has settled in. AB
You: My brain is perfectly healthy. In fact, I feel like a whole new world of possibility has opened before my eyes. Fish lawyers! How has no one thought of this before?! AH
Stranger: A truly excellent question. AB
You: We should patent this. We could make millions. AH
Stranger: Brilliant. AB
You: [delayed; image attached: a very poorly drawn image of a fish standing on its fins, wearing a hat and carrying a briefcase. The image is grainy, the light is low]
A million bucks. Right here. AH
Stranger: I love it. AB
You: Thank you, thank you. AH
You can't see me, but I'm bowing. AH
Stranger: I should hope so. This is genius. AB
You: I am but a poor, humble genius, thankful that someone finally appreciates my true brilliance. AH
Stranger: It's impossible not to, with something as inspired as fish lawyers. AB
You: I can't believe it. All this time I've been focusing on civil rights, when what I should be dealing with is fish lawyers! All those sleepless nights for nothing! AH
Stranger: A damn shame, really. AB
Ah, well. Better to realize it late than never. AB
You: Mm. I suppose you're right. AH
Stranger: You're a real artist, as well. AB
You: Now you're just trying to flatter me. I've never been an artist. AH
Stranger: Are you kidding?? That fish is gorgeous. AB
You: He's doing his best, that's for damn sure. AH
Stranger: It shows. You can see the emotion in his eyes. AB
You: All those wasted years, swimming around in his bowl. Or tank, I don't know. I'm not fish-ist. AH
Stranger: Maybe he's just working to get back to his oceanic roots. AB
You: D'you think so? That would be nice. AH
Stranger: A little fish in a big pond. AB
You: Better than being a big fish in a little pond. AH
Stranger: Very true. Poor guy wouldn't fit. AB
You: Speaking of! How big of a tank do you want? AH
Stranger: I mean, first of all, I don't really actually need a fish. AB
You: But your daughter does. It's her birthday present! AH
Stranger: And you're genuinely intent on getting this for her? AB
Remember, she's one. It probably won't matter that much whether she has one or not. AB
You: I think it would be nice. Eliza's got a huge tank with tons of fish, and Philip loves to watch them swim around. AH
I mean, obviously I'm not going to stick you with that kind of responsibility, but a little betta wouldn't be too bad. And it would still be fun for Theo to watch. AH
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