#abt how abusive and shitty my dad is

[penisliker-moved]

CHIHUAHUAS R SO IMPORTANT OK!!!!! THEEEE BEST DOGS IMO....

[thechy-fychannel]

I saw a few other blogs doing this so I thought I'd share my input on what I think would happen in the House MD universe in 2024:

the constant jokes abt house and wilson's relationship turns into the fellows jokingly writing fanfic abt their boss and his boy best friend. somewhere along the way they all get very serious abt the quality of it and it turns into a Whole Thing, a 150k+ novel that they vow to take to their graves.

house discovers the fic by accident and sends it to wilson. wilson discovers things abt himself and then he and house discover each other shortly thereafter.

house purposefully posts the fic online and credits the fellows by their entire full names so it embarrasses them more than house and wilson. It's never spoken abt again but it gets way more online attention than any of them expected.

wilson doesn't get how the Cloud works and accidentally uploads his and house's nudes to the google nest hub on his desk. He doesn't notice it until one of his sweet little old lady cancer patients points it out to him during their appointment. He throws the google nest hub into his trash can until he can figure out how to get the naked pictures off of it.

house has an alexa and abuses the hell out of it. sometimes ppl hear him screaming at someone in his office, only to walk in and find a robotic voice replying with "sorry, I didn't get that" and house throws it off the balcony.

wilson gets addicted to online shopping. house has to stage an intervention bc they do not have enough room in their closet for another pair of prada loafers and their kitchen is full of shitty gadgets that wilson bought off temu or something.

some right wing social media influencer comes in with a mysterious illness and ends up getting castrated as part of the solution. 13 personally does the procedure herself and house watches like a proud dad.

a patient reveals chase's grindr by shoving his phone at him and asking "is this you?" abt the headless profile with the ripped abs that says Dr. Feel Good, 0 feet away, in front of the rest of the team.

foreman finds the team doing tiktok dances bc house told them to learn it in order to understand their 15 yr old patient better.

chase medically murders mitch mcconnel and the entire hospital celebrates ding dong the witch is dead style.

there's a whole episode where house faces his transphobia bc of a trans patient that he connects with. the patient tells him to fuck off and go face his own problems instead of pretending to make it right by being nice to one trans person. And house does, even if he's not perfect, he really tries to do better.

13 gets her medical marijuana card and accidentally becomes the team's plug. her main customer is wilson who still supplies it to certain terminal patients. She hears "hey, can I hit your pen?" at least four times a day.

foreman buys a tesla and it blows up in the parking lot. they spend the entire episode trying to figure out who tried to kill foreman, but it turns out that teslas just do that sometimes.

there's an episode where house finds out that netflix is removing his favorite obscure tv show that ran for 2 seasons in 2002 and wilson recruits the team to hunt down a dvd copy of it without house finding out. they somehow manage to find one and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, only to open the dvd case and find a copy of the porno wilson starred in that one time instead of the dvd of the show. park saves the day at the last minute by finding a copy of it in a box of dvds in her parents house.

[wendytestabrat]

kyle’s denial about how much his mom sucks is annoying af (FROM THE VAULT [2021])

I don’t get how Kyle constantly shits on Cartman for being fat and Cartman’s bad behaviors, but whenever someone calls Kyle’s mom out he gets all offended and defends her even though Kyle’s mom is all fat and obnoxious too DNDJEJ. It rlly shows how fake Kyle is. Honestly like I know you can’t always disrespect your parents and I feel like that’s the situation Kyle is in because his parents are rlly strict so he doesn’t wanna get in trouble but you should at least still have some awareness of when your parents suck and they don’t always have your best interest. Kyle’s life would actually be a lot easier if he admitted to himself that his parents are shitty and treat him like shit so he can just be himself more. And I guess this is partially why I like Stan & Cartman more as characters along with 47388392 other reasons bc we know they’re getting abused and shit too but Stan & Cartman are still AWARE of their sucky parents. Stan knows that Randy is an asshole and we even see Stan calling Randy out on his bullshit at times, and we know how much Cartman shits on his mom DHSJKSKSKS. I feel like the reason why Cartman loves picking on Kyle for his mom and there was also that moment where he told Kyle to go tell his mom she’s a fat skank is bc Cartman is just fucking sick of Kyle being fake and in denial about his situation, and he’s tired of Kyle taking out his aggression over his fat mom out on Cartman for being fat. It should be perfectly okay for Kyle to just openly admit and vent about his frustrations with his parents to his friends like all the other boys do, and we know Kyle does get annoyed and pissed off by his mom and dad but he just keeps it to himself and he deludes himself into thinking that they’re actually good parents that are doing the right thing even though they’re not. We saw in the episode “Super Hard PCness” how crazy Kyle got because he started acting too much like his mom and all the boys called him out for it which shows Kyle has really no awareness at this point of the negative effects Sheila has had on him.

update 2024: i remember when i was a kid how annoying i found it when other kids would just kiss up to their parents abt everything or act like their opinion on something and what they said is the ultimate truth. i would get into an argument with a bitch and he/she would be like “but my mom said this!1!1!!1” 😩 like idc if that’s what ur mom or dad said it aint true lol. and kyle does this shit a lot in the show he’ll act like his parents are the experts on everything like that time when him and cartman were arguing abt aspergers he was like “LET’S GO ASK MY DAD RIGHT NOW!1!1”

like it’s normal when you’re rlly young to look up to ur parents and view them as experts but i think a normal part of growing up is reaching a point where u realize no, ur parents aren’t actually experts in everything and don’t always have ur best interest at heart lol (and i think this normally happens around age 11 or 12 when u go through puberty which is pretty close to kyle’s age) and then u start thinking for urself more. it’s honestly sad kyle still hasn’t gotten to this point (while stan and cartman have), yet he acts like he’s smarter and maturer than everyone else smh lol.

[musashi]

saw the term "over-villainification" today in reference to a character who is by all means a villain in the narrative, but who is demonized even further by the fandom for the sole purpose of Blorbo Angst.

in particular it was about Volo from pokemon legends arceus, and how the fandom/fanon version of him tends to be WAY more heinously evil in fanwork exclusively because the fandom loves the train guys so much and wants to angst them harder. i never beat PLA, but i think we need to adopt over-villainification into the fandom lexicon. if there isn't already, like, a fandom term for it. it's like... the opposite of woobification? the counterpart to it?

over in my fandom i really like this shitty evil murder bastard. he's super fucked up. he did at least one murder, maybe two. but he's also a dad. so for pretty much no fucking reason at all, the fandom decided that he abuses his kids. even though looking at canon it kinda makes no fucking sense for that to be the case, it's just a headcanon like anything else.

but see, his kids are the fandom darlings, or at the very least his surrogate son is, i don't think anyone besides the lesbians care abt his daughter. but he's got this fruity little son who is everything coded (gay, trans, autistic, the works) and canonically has PTSD (from a tangentially related thing) so naturally the fandom has latched onto this guy because anyone can project on him. and they have just chosen. to make his weird notdad an abusive monster. to beat up Blorbo.

it's kind of frustrating? it's kind of shit, really. this character i like is a pretty run of the mill villain. he has about 900 works featuring him on AO3, but if i filter out all the known child abuse tags (as well as a custom tag the fandom has for him being abusive specifically) the number drops down to 700. i guess this practice is harmless, really, but there's still people posting hate in his tag nonstop and calling me an abuse apologist for liking him. which is weird, cause again, he... didn't even abuse anyone. he did some murders, but child abuse is just a headcanon.

anyways, petition to make a word for this so its easier to roll our eyes at. "over-villainification" is so many syllables. maybe we can call it volofication, in honour of he blonde bitch from hisui.

[stardustizuku]

I have never vibe with an MLB critic essay so hard as yours do. People put salt on a lot of different things of MLB, but you hit every point of that really hits home of why the show is a dissapointment for me; from the Love Square wasted potential, the expectation of a Magical Girl show that wasn't delivered, the messy incoherent themes that is not represented well in their powers or villains, the umbalance power dynamics complete with comparison.

Too bad you drop it though (reasonably), I really wish to read what you think of Sentimonster!Adrien or even the Finale.

Something interesting happens when I completely give up on a show. And that's that...I really stop expecting anything from it.

When the Sentimonster thing came out, I genuinely just sighed. I couldn't even form an opinion because all I could feel is "this is such wasted potential".

The idea of a child being created via an object - and having said object tied to them, is such a good one. And it raises so many interesting and profound ideas. It could speak about how parents see their kids as nothing but dolls. It could be a very cool concept of Adrien someone who has the power to DESTROY, not only having a gentle soul but having to protect this object.

All things get presented to us for a reason - even if that reason is purely aesthetics.

Why are the girls in Tokyo Mew Mew animals? Because the creator thought catgirls were cool.

Why do we have witches in madoka? Because witches are the evolved form a "girl with magic" aka a "magical girl". And that's a cool thought.

Why is the Princess Tutu inspired by the swan lake ballet and why does it chose "defying destiny" as it premise? Because in real life, the swan lake ballet has multiple endings, some tragic, some happy. The tragedy aspect of it, enhances the princess tutu aesthetic.

Why was Adrien introduced to us as a Sentimonster?

And that's the thing. I can't even wrap my head around why would you make that creative choice.

It's an interesting idea, but one that feels more rooted on someone seeing a headcanon of it online and trying to pander to the audience with it. A sort of torture porn (which in a vacuum isn't something I'm opposed to), just to hammer home how shitty Adrien's life is. How abusive his dad is. Which, btw, doesn't even make sense when you think abt how he got redeemed in the recent episodes.

My point is, I can't have an opinion on "Adrien being a sentimonster" because I can't see why. Why they did it. And my lack of interest in the series, makes it so that I don't wanna spend pondering the "why".

What's the point? What themes did it introduce? Does it tie to the miraculous stuff somehow? Does it coherently expand upon the known lore?

Like, Katherine from Genshin Impact - it recently got revealed she's a doll controlled by the Fatui. This serves the purpose of allowing Nahida, an extremely kind archon, to have a vessel she can control. It shows insight of Marionette's powers, and how likely the adventurer's guild is to be related to the Fatui or Snezhnayan politics, as well as have an in-game reason as to why there's a Katherine in each region.

While it's also an out of left field bonkers thing getting revealed, it MAKES SENSE. There's a reason why she was made this way.

But with Adrien, there isn't. It's just /there/. Not really related to anything, no foreshadow, or anything. This is all, obviously, tied to the terrible writing of the show. But this is just insane. I do not understand it. I seriously can't.

[faintedlcve]

LUCY HELLOOOOO. your local (tumblr the state) annoying mutual is going to haunt your inbox HI <3

you said your current obsession is hazbin hotel SO. TELL ME ABOUT IT. i had no idea what it is but i just searched it up to get the gist of it and it sounds soooooo cool omg. like who’s your favorite character(s) so far!!!! what’s your favorite episode (if you have one)!! and maybe favorite dynamics and why!!! feel free to rant bestieee <3 I LOVE YOUUU and i hope you’re doing well 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

NADINE HIIII SORRY ABOUT HOW LATE THIS IS OMG ANSJFNENSNF (also btw just so you know you can never be annoying i love getting asks from you <3) THANK YOU SM FOR THIS ASK OMG AKJSDHKASJHF

MAJOR hazbin hotel spoilers under the cut!! also mentions of stabbing and sexual themes because, well, it's hell and this show is literally about killings and its a mature content show lmao reader discretion is advised

the keep reading thing keeps moving what the fuck

hazbin hotel loml <3 djkasddsh im actually so obsessed with it you don't even get it like its crazyyy im brainrotting so hard abt this show lajshdjahsd

my favourite characters are like all of them angel, lucifer, adam, charlie and vaggie. and additional character lute bc she managed to scare adam but as i've said before this changes constantly lmao asjdhasjkdh

as i have also stated before i absolutely do NOT!! condone adams actions hes the antagonist i know and hes definitely not a good character (in fact my reaction was literally vaggies when he got stabbed oh my god akjsdjhkajshf) but HES FUNNY AS FUCK ASKJDJHASKJHFD but i assume he'd be very annoying to hang around lmao much like me <33 (just the annoying part, i havent committed mass genocide as of yet but im also only 19!! IM JOKINGDAJJSDHJKASHD) hes actually so funny and his reaction to stuff makes me laugh so hard. his reactions are so blunt like charlie literally stopping his super duper powerful attack and about to throw him and him just going 'woah what the fuck' or when charlie literally STABS him and he goes 'THE FUCK? THAT HURT' askjdasjghh everytime he was on screen i laughed so hard oh my god 😭 AND HIM GOING 'call me dickmaster' to charlie and charlie being so fed up AHKJSDHKAJSHFSLJJAHDSKJH OH MY GOD 😭 i will cry if he isnt in the next season. yes, hes a shitty character, yes i hate what he did he totally deserved that death btw but hes so fucking funny oh my god 😭

anyways, angel is just soo funny the way he deadpans everything, like something could be so important and he just goes 😐 is just so funny to me 😭 he's literally so funny to me you dont even understand lmao and his jokes alsdkhasfhjkl i saw someone say him and blitzø (from a show by the same creator set in the same place: hell) would be best friends and i totally agree alsdhasjkh also HIM PLAYING WITH THE WINDOW IN THE PILOT LIKE A LITTLE KID AKJSDHKAJSGKASGRFKSB and i feel so bad for him bc of ep 4 </3 i will cry (i did cry) like hes literally getting abused and everything is an act EVEN HIS VOICE?!??? DUDEE

lucifer oh my god eljashdjjhdg he is also so funny 😭 'my daughter wants to see me TAKE THAT DEPRESSION' IM DYING DUDEEE and his little rubber ducks 😭 ajsdhaksjdhah hes painted as such a scary character in the pilot and then you see him and youre like dude 😭 hes so funny 😭 and traumatised 😭and depressed 😭 and cute (not like appearance cute i mean like a cute dad and how he gets so happy when charlie calls him)😭 and actually not a bad dad i wish my dad was like that :(( AND HIM PICKING UP A CALL FROM HIS OWN DAUGHTER, CHARLIE, AND GOING 'HEYYY BITCHHH' ASLDKJHASKJHFAJSHJK AND LUCIFER AND ADAM LITERALLY FIGHTING AND LIKE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER AND LUCIFER GOING 'well your first wife didnt seem to hate what i had to offer. or the second bowchikawowow' DUDE HES SO ADJKAGKFSAGKHADSGFDSAHF

charliee <333 CHARLIEEE <333 i love charlie so much she's such a lil cutie and im like a little in love with her dudeee 😭 shes the ony character in the world whose random song outbursts i can tolerate kjahdahsd her va is actually so good at voicing her oh my god and her va's singing voice wow i love ittt smmm and charlie randomly insul.ting everyone in the pilot 'ALL YOU CRETINS SLUTS AND LOSERS SEXUAL DEVIANTS AND BOOZERS AND PRESCRIPTION DRUG ABUSERS' DUDE AJSHDAJKSHDF 😭

AND VAGGIEEE!!! shes actually so smart i know like charlie knows better than to make a deal with the devil (or... not? because she does end up making one) but like vaggies is the real reason. because if vaggie wasnt there she wouldve. infact, while her and vaggie werent talking charlie actually does omg 😭 but also just shows how selfless charlie is willing to give up her freedom (ish) for her people i would never dude but anyways!! vaggie!! and the fact that stephanie beatriz voices her oh my god i love her sm her voice is sooo relaxing

AND FINALLY!! LUTE!! her traumatising adam is my favourite thing everrr adam is so fucking batshit so its soo hard to scare him and then lutes there causing adam to do a fucking double take and process it adams literaly reaction 'did you just... woah chill lute what the fuck' and like SAME ADAM SAME ALSDNASJHFJA

favourite episode? probably 6 it has like most of my favourite character (minus lucifer :(() and like angel being used an example omg and him sticking it to the moth man (valentino) OH MY GODD and niffty 😭😭 oh my god niffty shes such a menace and i love her so much my god her literally ripping his fur and then going "FOR MY COLLECTION : ) IS SO FUNNY ASJKDDHKASJHF and sir pentious' anxiety!! 'CHERRI I WOULD LIKE TO BUY YOU A DRINK... BECAUSE IM BUYING EVERYONE A DRINK HERE' AND THEN HIM GOING 'CHERRI WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO THE... SEX WITH ME' and cherri going 'uh why would we have sex' and then pentious going 'BECAUSE IM HAVING SEX WITH EVERYONE HERE' DUDE THAT HAD ME SOBBING 😭 AND EMILY!!! shes a real angel going against all the other ones standing by charlies statement that angel can, in fact, be redeemed and so can any other sinner!! her going out of her way to help charlie willing to fall even!! and they literally look like sisters asdgahsdgjgh emily is sooo charlie as an angel

favourite dynamics!!! im not exactly sure what you mean by that so sorry if i understood it wrong &lt;33

husk and angel. i am a diehard huskerdust shipper sue me. loser baby is literally so cute and theyre literally made for each other idc its literally a extrovert (angel) and introvert ish (husk) relationship much like charlie and vaggies charlie being the extrovert and vaggie being the introvert (sorta) and i just love that so muchh and the way he puts on a show for angel despite saying hes not gonna put on a show for anyone hehe UGHHH I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH ASLKDKHALSJKFH

lute and adam. while i dont ship them their relationship is literally so funny and probably one of the best ones imo lmao its like toxic batshit person meets toxic batshit person 😭 lute and adam are literally so crazy and LUTES REACTION WHEN ADAM DIES AND THE FIRST TIME SHE SAYS HIS NAME AND THE WAY HE SMILES AT HER AS HES SLOWLY DYING OH MY GOD MY HEARTTT I WILL LITERALLY EXPLODE AJSHFKSAJFFJHHDFFNVNMB AND THEN THEM SINGING TOGETHER IN YOU DIDNT KNOW?? (coincidentally that bit is playing rn while i typed this lmao) theyre literally such a funny duo like best duo or whattttt

charlie and vaggie. thats all. i dont even need to expand. girlfriends <3 i love them together

lucifer and alastor omg. also i do not ship them at all what the fuck ew. (sorry if you do <33 but also not sorry => this isnt specifically aimed at you nadine lol just in case someone else is reading this jjahsjfhaskjh) i just found their dad off so funny 😭 ajkdhsakjdhaksjh theyre so funny actually i cant even with them hells greatest dad is literally such a funny song and llucifer aggresively playing violin as alastor plays the piano 😭

and angel and vaggie?? like i know we dont see a lot of them but they give me sibling vibes aldhksajhajh

charlie and angel bc when she hugs him and apologises ohmy god :(( and her crying when he forgives her like HE FORGAVE MEEEEE!! also sibling dynamic lmao

charlie and emily theyre literally siblings change my mind

i can say so much more but oh my god i need to shut up lmao i wrote a tiny bit too much 😭😭

and charlie with literally anyone shes literally so pure and sweet and cute and i love her and she gets along with literally anyone (maybee apart from adam and lute lajsdhjkashf) i mean to be fair her and adams dynamic is so funny 😭 adam is literally like 'call me dickmaster' traumatising this innocent (ish) child and then her being so fed up ajsdhakjshdkfjash

PENTIOUS AND CHERRY. AHDJDNSNZBFNR. THATS ALL. I THINK THE REASON EP 6 IS MY FAVOURITE IS BC OF THEIR INTERACTIONS AJDNDNNSNC

thank you SO much for this askk <33 i love youuuu <33 and i hope your day is going amazing!!

[saddlepunk]

aaah there it is. took a few days but theres the long string of texts abt this move from my mom.

she is TRYING ill give her that, shes doing her best to be supportive, but in the middle of all that she still cant help but shift blame to my dad.

"i think you get weird ideas about how my brain works from [your father] who thinks im crazy and unreasonable for wanting to know whats happening in my house" no i think that from talking to YOU!! people used to toss around the term "simp" a lot but he's the first man ive seen who actually fits the description. some of the things shes said/done to him wouldve driven any other adult with the option to live their own life away (see: me) but he moved out like. six months ago and he still wants back in.

shes just got complete and total amnesia about most of the shit shes done to me, and i KNOW this because sometimes she admits that she thinks she abused my dad, but she cant seem to muster up more than a "i wasnt there for you" or a "things could have been better" and half the time she STILL puts the blame on my dad.

no, him being there for a hot 8 years after they broke up sucked, esp since he absolutely guilt tripped his way back in. that IS shitty. but the way things fell apart from there wasnt wholly on him, and while im sure i didnt HELP i also find it hard to swallow any time she tries to dredge up ancient sins because i was a child then.

like, if it was JUST about my dad, why get mad when i try to exist in the house unobserved? why get mad and disbelieve me whenever i say im sick? why the hundred thousand stupid bullshit accusitions because she decided what she thought happened in advance and the conversation about it is just her looking for proof. ive spent my entire goddamn life having her tell me she doesnt believe me about my own fucking emotions, SHE knows how i think and feel better than anyone and she can just PROVE it.

i couldnt fuckin wring a bad word about her out of my father, he'll always find a way to lick her ass. im acting like im trying to escape because i /am/. my beliefs abt her being fucking insane come from /living with her/ not some secret indoctrination from the first man to have negative spine.

[haughty-ojousama]

I'm honestly rlly fucking glad I wasn;t born a girl, my parents were already shitty enough to me as a wee lad that I wanted to kill myself before I was like even 5 cuz I felt I was such a burden and disappointment to everyone, and they got better, but they still treat my kid sister like shit.

my dad fucking whines about my sister being 'needy' and always saying good night and I love you multiple times in a row and he worries she'll be easy to abuse as an adult, and like, yeah, I do get that, but you pile on nothing but criticism on the poor girl, even on honest mistakes. my sister fucking gets sick if she doesn't immediately fess up even misdemeanors and my parents fucking DARE accuse her of lying, fuck hell, she's 10, she calls you to confess she looked at a computer to tell time or some shit, but ohhh, she's a liar an exaggerator, fucking die!

criticize her for eating sweets, constantly fatshame her, she's not even fucking plump goddammit, criticize her every move, lecture her forever cuz she accidentally broke something that was in constant use, just fuck....

and my dad goes on abt childhood innocence being important, as if she's not almost a teen, as if innocence wasn't invented by victorian men to rape their daughters easier, fucking hell....

I tell my sister abt mental disorders, and he fucking calls me out for not talking abt 'agency' I gave simple definitions and causes of things to a 10 yo when explaining why I got into psychology, what the fuck do you mean agency, when the fuck was I supposed to talk abt that?

was it when I was describing how narcissists and ASPDs and borderlines were influenced by childhood trauma? was I supposed to assign agency to a child abused by their guardians? I mean, he didn;t mean it that way, but like, if anyone does, y'know, uh.... FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU SUBHUMAN SACK OF SHIT

I SWEAR TO GOD WE ASSIGN AGENCY TO ABUSED CHILDREN FOR BEING ABUSED ALREADY WE JUST DON'T SAY IT OUTRIGHT CUZ EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS THAT'S A MONSTEROUS THING TO SAY SO WE DISGUISE IT SO WE CAN SCAPEGOAT THE INEVITABLE IMPERFECT VICTIMS AND I HATE IT AND I WANT EVERYONE WHO PERPETUATES THIS SHIT, EVERYONE WHO BLAMES KIDS FOR THEIR OWN ABUSE, TO CARVE OUT THEIR OWN FUCKING GUTS fuck you fuck you fuck all of you

the other thing, which he likely meant, was assigning agency to cluster Bs for their actions, but no one means that. I explain ASPD leaves you with lower empathy and impulse control, and I'm told I didn't assign 'agency', go fuck yourself mister, when you say agency, you mean 'subhumanize these people'

like obviously cluster Bs can abuse and be dipshits and unpleasant, so can normal people, cluster Bs can also do good things and be caring and helpful and benign, but I guess if we don't have a class of battleroid evil mooks to assign all societal evil to because GOD FORBID we introspect upon our own capacity for evil

also diagnosis is strictly a tool to help people work around their issues, if I see you hoes using it to pathologize dicks to avoid introspecting upon your own evil, I'll.... well I don't have the energy to suibait you bitches, but like, imagine me handing you a loaded gun and telling you to kill yourself

AND THEN FUCKING DO IT BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE AN ACTUAL FUCKING DANGER IN AGGREGATE TO EVERYONE ELSE

but then if that was followed, most ppl would prolly kill themselves, and that's not that good ig

anyways, to cap this off, while this is a vent and ramble, I should note, my parents are better than most and actively trying to be better, and that they learned their bullshit from worse superstructures

[custer-mp3]

anyway unrelated to my need to slonk that old man's shit so thoroughly his guts come out

had another one of those incidents at work yesterday where some total normie chick shopping for some allegedly super-high-stakes occasion comes in & DEMANDS i--me, who has not worn women's clothing or ANY COLOR OTHER THAN BLACK for the last 20 years, who 9 times out of 10 when this is occurring is inevitably wearing dumpy dirty worn-out bagged-out faded stained ill-fitting work clothes AND I DO MEAN WORK CLOTHES, not "clothes i would wear to work" but "clothes i would paint the kitchen/clean out the crawlspace/change my oil in", THAT me--assemble her a head-to-toe outfit in a totally different style and will not take no for an answer, no matter how many times i point out

a) i'm not comfortable with that

b) i don't know how to do that

c) i have LITERALLY NO EXPERTISE & DEFINITELY DO NOT KNOW *THEIR* STYLE OR *THEIR* BODY OR *THEIR* LIFE

and it's just like. i am not fucking joking when i say i haven't worn anything other than black in 20+ years now. i don't understand how fashion works. i don't know how women's clothing works, or how things fit in the size on the tag vs bodies, cuz bodies are all so different & sizing is totally made up. and it just feels like a cruel joke every time; like i'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out & tell me i got Punk'd, especially cuz they always go on about how ~fashionable & trendy~ i am when i'm literally wearing shitty dirty work clothes that obviously look like shitty dirty work clothes.

ripley said maybe normies just confuse having a defined personal style with being good at fashion period, but it feels like......not that, idk

like maybe i'm just so used to being abused & treated like a zoo animal in public it feels malicious but it feels malicious, every time, especially cuz they'll always skip over my coworkers who are actually dressed cute to get to me & refuse to let me pass them off to a coworker who y'know. wears women's clothes & colors & has a basic understanding of how things go together.

i think about fashion a lot cuz obviously this one subset of goth fashion is one of my hobbies, which means thinking about my relationship to fashion/clothing & the social norms regarding it a lot, and i would 200% be lying if i said i didn't end up goth partially/significantly due to external circumstantial factors that kept me from learning or being taught How To Do Things Correctly & Normally, because it's a lot easier to understand how to put things together & look semi-presentable when every part of the outfit is black, like. you literally can't fuck that up.

my peers openly hated me & wouldn't socialize with me normally, my mom abandoned me, i didn't have older sisters in the home & my dad's been wearing the same clothes since the 1970s. i wasn't allowed to buy fashion magazines or shop from trendy retailers. there was no youtube, there was no social media, there was nobody to teach me. i never learned. goth was easier. goth was a no-brainer. i loved how it looked & wanted to be goth SO BAD as a kid, but then when it came down to it---the other option was so unfathomably unapproachable, this monolith of cultural/social knowledge i had no way of even beginning to comprehend...goth was easy.

so y'know. i'm almost 33 & haven't worn anything except black in over 20 years cuz i don't know how to dress myself otherwise, and yet i'm constantly harangued by locals who think "putting together a coherent (to their eyes) all-black outfit" is a transferrable skill to any style or type and i'm just. so tired

i gotta go to clock in now (literally in the back room @ work rn) & i'm just like. man.

still lowkey tripping out abt it ngl

[lakesbian]

now that Letter Hour on lakesbian dot tumblr dot com has concluded it’s time 2 present my own alec song choices. gotta show my own ass on song choices if i’m gonna issue decrees abt the validity of other ppls choices

how to be a heartbreaker - marina & the diamonds

i don’t give a shit. i love being on the nose. his entire Deal And Problem is being groomed to be like his dad, heartbreaker. being taught. How To Be A Heartbreaker, Even! i think i’m funny. you can’t tell me that the lyrics to this aren’t objectively accurate to how the heartbroken operated re kidnapping people. also, m&td sounds how alec’s gay little cape costume looks.

alligator blood - nicole dollanganger

I'm a sucker for the love of the flesh All things rancid and delicate But the smell in the summer heat It still gets to me Knee-deep in the poacher's dream He dragged that thing out back and he Hung it upside down, slit its belly open And let it bleed out And he held my head and made me watch He filled my mouth up with its blood and said "Grow up weak or grow up tough"

enough said. bonus points for the mention of the summer heat + the shitty childhood memory alec recalls in his interlude specifically involving not speaking for an entire hot summer (and fall...and winter...) + the emotional abuse being described as the emotional equivalent to staring into the sun for too long. grow up weak or grow up tough!!

cigarettes & chocolate milk - rufus wainwright

this whole thing fits pretty damn well--verses 1 thru 3 with the ‘and then there’s those other things. which for several reasons we won’t mention.’ is such A Sentence you can say about alec--but the real highlight is

Playing with prodigal sons Takes a lot of sentimental Valiums Can't expect the world to be your Raggedy Andy While running on empty, you little old doll with a frown

easily one of the Most Regent Sentences Ever. can’t expect the world to be your doll/playtoy while you’re running on empty, you little old doll with a frown ♥ 

i cut myself - talkshow boy

this one is a bit more of an abstracted choice. it’s very Alec how it self-reports shitty mental health in a very casual, almost bored way--jumping between describing Problems w/ chaotic background sound and then going back to a very monotone closing word that makes the entire thing sound alarmingly blasé. 

there Is an entire animatic for this in my head, and my life would be great if i knew how to animate in mspaint. just go listen to it and rotate alec in your brain, if you don’t catch the vibe you’re doing it wrong.

note that interpreting “i touch myself,” “and everywhere i look i always find myself aside myself,” “i think i’m all together but i tear myself apart,” and “you fuck yourself way too hard,” in the most literal, body-snatching power-having way possible, is crucial for properly understanding the Vision.

(talkshow boy cover of hurt is on the playlist for similar reasons)

[anything-viva]

sorry i just need to rant about this bc i've fucking had it. here's the big lies she's told me off the top of my head, kinda tmi but idc.

like she said she got pneumonia when she was nine and her parents refused to take her to the hospital, nearly killing her. funny thing, whenever i complained abt my cramps she'd bring up how hers used to put her in the hospital. (way to center the conversation on yourself, btw!) she wouldn't be old enough to drive when she first started getting them, so who took her to the hospital? i went to school with her, i live five minutes away from her, never saw ambulances that often! curious!

that's also part of the reason why i didn't get my shit checked out for so long! "oh, it's not as bad as rachel's so it's no big deal. i should just shut up and bear it." i can hardly stand up for ten minutes without pain now. THANKS! I CAME TO MY BEST FRIEND FOR ADVICE AND YOU LIED TO ME <3

btw her periods aren't even that bad. she gave me the thinnest fucking pad that would hardly last me three hours on a bad day like that. SHE CLAIMED IT WOULD LAST TWELVE! FUCKING LMAO! she didn't belive me when i laughed and told her it wouldn't last. if your parents refused to take you to the hospital when you nearly died, why would they take you if your periods are that light? like if your outer signs are so minimal, they wouldn't take you!!

said her dad took the lock off her door and creeped on her. HER DOOR HAS A LOCK, THERE IS NO DAMAGE ON THE DOOR!!! also the way she described it sounded exactly like an anime trope. shes a MASSIVE weeb, so i think she got it from some shitty anime she saw.

she said she's saving up to move out of her abusive household yet she splurges money like crazy. her room is full of anime figurines and unused wiccan shit. i really don't think she's actually a wiccan, she would've used those candles but they showed NO signs of use! as soon as we get together she starts talking abt buying lingerie and stuff from spencer's. aren't you saving up???

she says she can hear demons when her ears start ringing- babe, you have tinnitus.

and the constant constant "how do you think i feel?" she says i can tell her anything, but whenever i complain it's almost always "hOw Do YoU tHiNk I fEel" unless im on the verge of a fucking breakdown

said to my face "i haven't gotten fast food in months!" I WAS IN THE CAR WITH HER WHEN SHE GOT THEM? LIKE LMFAO? i wouldn't really care how she eats, but the audacity to lie to my face about something I SAW?!

she lies about getting commissions CONSTANTLY. made some fucking ridiculous lie up abt getting a comm from some rich lady who owns property at the tip of florida, supposedly over 100 manatees live there! No the fuck they don't!!!!!!! do you think i'm stupid?!

most recent example happened tonight. she hung up some of her paintings today at the gallery and claimed afterwards she got two offers on them? no the fuck she didn't, they were some of her worst paintings. i was there most of the time, i likely would've heard it!

i think that last bit is bc i got more attention than her. we were seated at the same booth. i talked a LOT to the people who were interested in my art because i can hold a conversation!

that's why she started making up shit abt commissions and getting jumped. OH MY FUCKIGN GOD

SHES BEEN DOING THIS AS LONG AS IVE KNOWN HER AND I ONLY JUST REALIZED

EDIT I FORGOT ABT THAT ONE TIME THIS SUMMER SHE SAID HER DAD TOOK A THIUSAND DOLLARS FROM HER BANK ACCOUNT. GOOD GOD I FORGOT ABT THAT. MY MOM AND BROTHER WERE THERE.

[technicallyelegantkitten]

sigh

imma say smth whiny again so plz ignore, im emo lately

my biggest pet peeve in any fandom is hypocrisy but my second biggest one is extremism

idk, ive been reading a lot of "deruth isnt as bad as other dads so he did NOTHING wrong" type defenses lately and... no?

i freely admit that deruth isnt the worst father in existence but he's not perfect either?? he has messed up, he has (accidentally) caused serious harm to his child through poor parenting skills and tbh he's just a bit dumb and shortsighted

ofc i dont care for the reverse either, "deruth is not the perfect dad therefore he's the worst most evil scum imaginable" but i tend to prefer this version even though its more ooc and i deeply dislike ooc content

theres just smth abt saying “he’s not actively trying to kill his child like other fathers so he’s the perfect dad” that srsly skeeves me out. I think its bc its the excuse thats made for a lot of real life abusers (i wouldnt say that deruth is necessarily an abusive person but he has done things that are irresponsibly harmful towards his children) and seeing that excuse just makes my skin crawl

“You shouldnt be upset, your dad didnt beat you unconscious so he’s not abusive” or “he doesnt hit you so everything else he does is justified” and so on and so forth. Its just a personal preference of mine, but despite my dislike for ooc content, if im forced to choose between ooc and abuse apologetics, im going to choose ooc

But thats the main problem. I dont see why there needs to be any extremism in any direction. Deruth doesnt need to be written as an irredeemable monster for him to be a deeply flawed parent but he also isnt a fucking saint who needs to be protected at all cost. Idk, when i see these conversations it just feels like it murders nuance

I mostly lurk cuz i dont have a lot of confidence in socializing with ppl but sometimes i’ll just be lurking and i’ll see smth like “i HATE how ppl bash deruth, he’s an AMAZING father” and then a bunch of ppl replying to that with agreement that lacks any nuance. Again, to be fair, there are plenty of ppl who make the opposite argument to an uncomfortable extreme, but at least there arent any abuse apologetics in deruth bashing

All of that said, i am not saying that i think that ppl who engage in those extreme debates abt deruth are bad people or they support child abuse or anything else insanely over the top like that. Frankly, ppl can enjoy fandom however it makes them happy. If it makes them happy to defend deruth to their dying breath, you do you dude, have fun. Im just stating that i am personally a person who is deeply uncomfortable with reading abuse apologetics

But moreso than opinions like “deruth did nothing wrong! He’s the perfect dad! He never did any irresponsible parenting cuz there weren’t any bruises!” i am even more deeply uncomfortable with blaming og cale for deruth’s poor parenting. Now if you’ve read any of my fics, you might notice that while i rlly like og cale, i think that his behavior is shitty. He had noble goals but much like his father, he was too short-sighted and stupid to actually help his family properly and the things he did would have made being his parent an absolute nightmare

One of my favorite fics that i wrote has an entire plot centered around cale needing to realize how harmful and toxic his behavior was and start himself on the long and painful path towards growth and improvement. I think that cale has potential to be a better person than he is but no matter what, even if he was faking every second of it, the shit he did was fucked up and he hurt a lot of people through his thoughtless foolishness

So if i think that cale is such a flaw character, why would i dislike it when people blame deruth’s poor parenting skills on the difficulty of raising a child as explosive and irrational as cale?

Very simple reason. Cale isn’t the parent. And the majority of cale’s misbehavior happened before the age of 18. The concept that a literal child with clear trauma is supposed to be the one who’s mature enough to make things better and shouldnt have been a difficult teenager just makes me feel gross

This is when the abuse apologetics start dipping the toes into victim blaming. If my understanding of the canon lcf timeline is correct (it might not be, lcf timeline is a bit hard to understand sometimes), cale lost his mother at 8 and started acting like trash to protect his step brother around the age of 10. A child. He was a child. Not even a teenager. A very small and stubborn child.

Ron stated in the sidestory that cale was quite similar to ohn when he was a child. Specifically while referencing how ohn will try hard to seem mature even when she’s scared or worried about the people she loves. The sort of child that tries to hide their pain so that other ppl can be taken care of instead. Ron is an unreliable narrator so its dubious how accurate this is but for me, it makes sense with cale’s character

I feel like people see 18 year old cale acting like trash and they think he was 18 yrs old for the last ten years. Nah dude, he was 8. Hell even at 15 when he started drinking, 15 is a really young age. Instead of blindly endorsing cale’s misbehavior by giving him money and supporting him irresponsibly, deruth needed to be a real parent to the boy. but instead he chose to do what he always does (even in lcf) throw money at the problem in hopes of making it go away

I have a lot more thoughts on deruth and cale and criticisms of both their personalities (and just how much cale really does take after his father) but that would derail further from my point. My point is that blaming a traumatized child for being a difficult child to parent is just… not it. Ive helped raise enough problem children to know EXACTLY how hard it is to raise a child like cale but just bc he’s hard to raise, it doesnt mean you just throw money at him and ignore the real problems

(also never get me started on how much it upsets me that no one, not a single person in cale’s life, realized that he had been possessed. It’s not like roksu did a flawless job impersonating cale. He didnt. His attempts to act like trash were cute in comparison to cale’s quite convincing act, but no one noticed and im the most upset at deruth abt this bc out of *everyone* i feel very strongly that his father should have noticed)

Anyway, this is a lengthy and foolishly thought out way of saying it makes me deeply uncomfortable to read blind defense of deruth’s character. Im not saying he’s an abuser, he isn’t in my opinion, but he is a *deeply* flawed parent who has done abusive things to his child, even if those things were unintentional. That said, if deruth apologetics are what make you happy, enjoy yourself. Im just not personally comfortable with the way those defenses often mirror abuse apologetics and victim blaming in real life situations.

(again, to be clear, i do NOT think that ppl who defend deruth are victim blaming abuse sympathizers. I think that they have an opinion of a fictional character that i disagree with and my reasons for disagreeing make it uncomfortable for me to read their opinions. That said, im also not saying that there isnt something morally wrong abt making deruth the most abusive scumbag on the planet bc i think that also tears away the nuance of how subtle and insidious abusive neglect can truly be. BUT ultimately i would prefer to read a removal of subtlety rather than arguments that appear uncomfortably similar to abuse apologetics)