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aewhore · 4 years ago

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Sour candy kisses~ Nick Jackson x reader (NSFW)

You and Hangman are childhood best friends and you talk/text every day and your boyfriend Nick thought he was okay with it but his jealous side does come out to play slightly however you put his mind to rest and assure him nothing is going on in the only way you know how. (Sexy time ensues)

Hanging out backstage at AEW dynamite was always the highlight of your weeks, seeing your coworkers who became friends and your friends who became family made your Wednesdays just a little brighter. You were sitting in the EVP dressing room, joking and chatting with Matt and your boyfriend of 3 years, Nick. You loved having some downtime with Matt and Nick when you all weren’t running around booking the shows. You sat on the large comfy couch in the dressing room when your phone went off. Your brows furrow slightly at the unexpected interference.

Hangy:

Hey Y/N! You free?

You can’t help but smile at your phone when you see a text from your favourite lone cowboy Adam Page. You and Adam had been best friends for what felt like your entire life, You had met on the first day back in preschool and You were both the only wrestling fans in your school so you stuck to each other like glue. Your fingers raced across your phone screen as you replied.

Y/N:

Oh hell yeah I am! Meet ya in the café in 5!

You locked your phone and slipped it into your hoodie pocket before beginning to stand from the couch, shimmying out of Nick’s arms. “Hey, where ya going?” Nick pips up, You rolled your eyes at Nick’s protest at the loss of your body heat. “I’m going to meet up with Adam in the cafeteria, do you want me to bring you back anything?” You turn towards Nick in time to catch his face sour slightly. “Oh ok, nope I’m good” The bitterness towards Adam seeped into Nick’s voice. You shoot him a glare before you shake your head and leave. Not even wanting to justify his harshness towards the lone cowboy. “tell him we say hi” You hear Matt yell as the door closes behind you. As you walk from the EVP dressing room to the cafeteria you can’t help but grin at seeing your best friend. You don’t make it to the cafeteria when you hear Adam call out your name. You twist around to see Adam jogging towards you with a fast-food bag and two drink cups which you can only assume are milkshakes. “Took you long enough, come on let’s go find a table, I got something real funny to show you”

Fast forward an hour and you and Adam are still in the cafeteria, empty food containers stuffed back in the fast-food bag as you and Adam huddle around his phone to watch what felt like the 200th funny dog video he showed you today. “Look, look the dog is in the driver’s seat of the truck, why is he there? He can’t drive!” Adam could barely get a sentence out because you were both wheezing so hard. “Man, where do you find this stuff? This is the greatest thing ever!” Ever since Adam was kicked out of the elite, you were thankful whenever you got to see him be carefree and laugh like he used to. You pulled your phone out and nearly gasped at the time, Dynamite would be over at any moment so you had been in the cafeteria for nearly an hour. You see a text notification pop up from Nick.

Pretty Nicki:

Me and Matt gonna go with good brothers to grab a bite to eat, I’ll meet you back at the hotel. xx

Your brows furrow slightly at the bluntness of Nick’s message. Normally if he goes for food after dynamite, he brings you but you dismiss those thoughts and reassure yourself that it isn’t that deep. You reply to him, telling him you’ll get a ride with Adam and that you’ll see him back at the hotel later on. “Is everything okay?” You hadn’t noticed Adam stopped laughing and was looking very concerned at the suddenly sad look in your eyes. “Oh nothing, Nick is just going to get food with Matt and the good brothers.” You explained as you tucked your phone back into your jeans. “Without you?” Adam inquires, You’re slightly confused at Adam’s question. “I mean yeah, we don’t have to do everything together.” You turn to look him in the eye. “Hey, I didn’t mean anything by it, just a question. Do you need a ride back to the hotel then?” Adam was quick to change the subject away from Nick. “Oh yeah, do you mind? I hate to spring this on you” You felt guilty but Adam’s quick response helped put you to rest. “Y/N don’t be like that, you know you ain’t a bother to me. Go grab your stuff and I’ll meet you by the truck out front” You smile at Adam before grabbing the rubbish in front of you and standing to go throw it away on your way to get your things from the locker room.

There was a comfortable silence between you and Adam as he drove you both back to the hotel. One of Adam’s many country music playlists was softly playing in the background. As you rounded the corner into the Hotel car park you take your phone out to check if Nick text you back and he had read the message. You’re pulled from your thoughts by Adam cutting off the engine and hopping out of the truck. You follow suit and round the back to the bed of the truck to grab your bags when you see Adam handing them to you. “Oh thanks, hangy” you take the bags from him and he leads the way towards the hotel lobby. “Anytime darling, do you need to check-in?” He asks when you fall into step with him. “Oh No, Nick checked in earlier so I already have the key.” You pull your key card out of your purse and wave it towards him. “I see, I ain’t that organised so I gotta check-in, Talk to ya later then.” You and Adam stop in the centre of the lobby to bid your goodnight’s. “Alright, Adam I’ll text ya tomorrow morning.” You pull him into a hug and you give him a tight squeeze before releasing him so you could start walking towards the elevator towards the back of the lobby.

Slotting your key into the key card reader, you were happy to see that tiny green light flash allowing you into the room. You see the lights in the room are already on indicating that Nick has returned to the room before you. “Hey, baby I’m back” You give out a soft shout as you dump your bags and jacket on the floor beside Nick's luggage. You enter the room to see Nick sitting on the bed on his phone with his back towards you. Before you can say anything he stands and swiftly walks into the bathroom nearly slamming the door after him. “Jeez someone has an attitude all of a sudden.” You roll your eyes at your boyfriend’s attitude before you walk back to open your luggage to grab your nighties to get ready for bed. After you’ve changed Nick exits the bathroom, in his usual bed attire a pair of old basketball shorts and a black tank top. He stops to plug in his phone as you walk around him to enter the bathroom, leaving the door open behind you. “How was the dinner with the good bro’s?” You ask before beginning to brush your teeth. “Oh, you know the usual, Doc messing around, Anderson hyping him up and Matt being an idiot. Normal stuff.” You laugh at the understatements in Nick’s recollection of the night out. You spit out and rinse your mouth out before leaving the bathroom and walking to your side of the bed to plug in your phone and prepare for sleep.

“So how was your dinner date with Adam?” Nick pipes up as he sits with his back against the bed’s headboard lazily flicking through the channels on the TV. You eye him up before responding “Nick we’ve been over this, Adam is my best friend and that’s it.” He turns his full attention towards you before speaking again. “Oh really, is that why you were cuddling in the middle of the cafeteria?” You could tell he was getting irritated but so were you. “We were not cuddling in the cafeteria, Jesus Christ It’s like you don’t trust me at all sometimes.” You were tired and annoyed at having to defend your friendship to Nick. “I do trust you Y/N, I just don’t trust him” You roll your eyes at his lame excuse. “What’re you rolling your eyes for? It's the truth, I don’t trust him!” It took everything in you not to laugh at that. “Come on Nick it shouldn’t matter if you trust Adam or not if you trust me! You’re just being mean to him because you’re jealous!”

Nick let out a shocked breath before smiling. “I am not jealous of that idiot” You ignored his petty attempts to get you to defend Adam. you saw through his mind games. “I think you are” You’re getting giddy now, you’re under the younger Jackson brother’s skin. “Am not” He childishly quips back. “Oh you’re so jealous of my big strong cowboy” You stoked the flames in Nick’s eyes as you sat facing him on your knees. “Why would I be jealous of that bumbling drunk?” You were still smiling at Nick as he glared daggers back at you. “Hmm, that’s a good question why would you be jealous of that tall, muscular southern boy who was one half still the longest-reigning tag champs in AEW history, with golden hair and-” You’re inputted from your mocking when Nick grabs your knees to pull you towards him before you fall back so you’re now on your back with Nick towering over you. Your hips trapped under his with your legs spread to either side of his waist. He’s replying most of his body weight on his forearms which frame your head. His face mere inches from your own. “Are you done?” He leans down to growl into your ear.

You grin to yourself knowing you’ve won. You let out a small shaky breath before nodding into his shoulder. “Good, now as I was saying, I could never and will never be jealous of that dumbass cowboy because he could never make you feel the things I do.” He has your hips locked against the mattress and you can’t help but try to grind up against him. He smirks at your attempt at more friction. “I know what you want baby girl, but I ain’t gonna give it to you” You whine at this unfair denial of your pleasure. “Why not?” you demanded to know. “I need to hear you say it” You were confused at Nick’s request. “Hear me say what?” Nick raises himself so that he’s looming over you, his icy Atlantic ocean blue eyes staring into your own. “I need to hear you say that I am far better than that idiot in every single way, I have a better body than him, I’m a better tag wrestler than he could ever dream of being, I got the greatest damn hot tag in the business and I have far superior hair than him.” Seeing Nick’s arrogant in bed was intoxicating, he had never gotten like this with you before but now you knew you would be pushing his buttons more often. “Baby Do I have to? I mean I bet I could call up Adam and he’d give me whatever I wanted” You were being bratty but you loved it. “Oh baby girl don’t lie to yourself like that, he could never give you what I give you, he could never make you feel as good as I do.”

The passion in Nick’s eyes took your breath away. Nick shifted his weight onto one forearm as he moved his other hand down to roam the side of your ribs and to ghost your breast, arching your back towards his hand did nothing as he’d move before you could get the touch you carved “Nick I need you, I need you to make me feel good” You wanted Nick so bad at this point. “Hmm, I think I need some more convincing. Beg me for it.” Nick’s arrogant smirk was driving you crazy. “Please Nick, please you know you’re the only one that can make me feel this good” Nick was trailing kisses along your jawline as you pleaded with him. “How could I possibly turn away my needy little slut? I’m gonna make you feel so good you forget how to say your own name.” small moans and whimpers were escaping your lips as Nick nipped and sucked your neck slowly making his way down your body. “You’re wearing too many clothes, off, now” Nick demands as he stands up to tower over you as he strips himself. You rush to strip as quick as you can, throwing your clothes aimlessly off the bed.

You lay back on the bed on your bed as Nick stands naked between your spread legs. Nick’s hands roam your thighs before bends down to lay open mouth kisses along your inner thigh travelling from your left knee up to your crotch purposefully skipping your pussy as he travels back up your right leg leaving a trail of hickeys in his wake. Your attempt to buck your hips towards Nick is stopped by one of Nick’s muscular arms resting on your pelvis keeping you pressed against the mattress. Nick’s teasing streak continues as he delivers a long swipe of his tongue to your pussy just stopping before your clit. Before You can whine at his negligence of your clit he pulls back slightly only to spit on you before he begins to give gentle kitten licks to your clit, causing your moans to slowly build in volume. He gives more general attention to your pussy before he suddenly latches onto your clit causing you to scream his name. The onslaught of a rhythm he builds, long swipes of his tongue on your pussy before teasing your hole that was clenching around nothing, desperate to be filled before he focused his attention onto you pulsing clit, has the coil in your pelvis tightening by the second. You didn’t care if the entire hotel knew you were screaming Nick’s name at this point. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as the coil in your pelvis snaps and you cum onto Nick’s face. You don’t get rest as Nick continues to tongue fuck you through your orgasm. Once you’ve slightly caught your breath you look down to Nick still kneeling between your thighs with a sly smile on his face, before you can ask his plans you feel one of his calloused, long fingers tease your quivering hole. Your head falls back against the mattress as you feel his finger plunge onto you. He shallowly thrusts his finger in and out of you. You can feel him brush against your G spot and you are begging him for more before you even think about it. He grants your wish by sliding a second finger into you. You feel him resume his pace, thrusting his two fingers into you, the pressure against your g spot building and building. You felt him slip a third finger into you and your hand moves down to grab onto his head as the feeling of fullness makes your head spin. With the pace of Nick’s fingers being thrust into you, You can feel your second orgasm approaching. Suddenly he leans down and begins to suck on your clit and your vision goes completely white as your second orgasm of the night hits you.

He continues to thrust into you through your orgasm before he slides his fingers out of you. You whine at the loss. He climbs back up your body before he settles above you. He raises the fingers that were in you to his lips before they disappear into his mouth as he licks off your cum from his fingers. You moan at the sight of him licking your essence off his fingers before he takes them out and he lowers himself onto you to capture your mouth in a breathtakingly passionate kiss. Feeling his body weight pressing you into the mattress with his arms around you and his lips locked onto your own provided you with a level of comfort that only he could give you. Your hands rise from your sides to tangle in his long luxurious hair. You feel his hard erection against your inner thigh and you raise your hips slightly off the bed to grind against it. You hear a groan from Nick as his hand settles on your neck, holding your face in place as he moves back slightly to stare into your eyes. You feel Nick move his other hand down to his dick as he holds the shaft of it to tease you by sliding through your folds before he begins to slowly slip the tip into your hole. You can feel yourself trying to tighten around Nick, you feel the need to have Nick inside of you build and build.

Before you can beg, Nick grants your wish by thrusting into you. From the get-go, he sets a mind-numbing pace. Fucking you so hard and deeply that you feel like he’s fucking the breath out of your lungs. Nick moves both of his hands underneath your thighs to pin your knees up to your chest in an agonisingly good position. The coil in your pelvis was tightening with every thrust Nick delivers to you. Your moans were mixing with Nicks and you can feel his thrusts start to stutter as his own orgasm was fast approaching. You feel one of Nick’s hands move around your thigh so he could rub tight quick circles onto your clit. The sudden spike of pleasure causing your third orgasm of the night to hit you out of nowhere. Your pelvic muscles tighten and pulse around Nick causing his thrusts to stutter, he thrusts into you a few more times before he paints your walls with his cum. He releases your thighs before he collapses on top of you causing your break out into a smile. You raise your hands to rub his back and comb through his hair. He raises his head slightly to gaze into your eyes. “Did I make you feel good princess?” Nick smiles as you both break into giggles. “Oh yeah Nick, You made me feel real good” You lay gentle kisses on Nick’s face. You loved having Nick in your arms like this, his head nuzzled into your neck. You can feel the gentle smile on his face as he gives your neck lazy kisses. “I love you Nicki” You mumble “I love you too baby.” You hear Nick grumble into your neck as you feel yourself lull into sleep.

#Nick Jackson #nick jackson imagine #nick jackson fanfiction #nick jackson smut #AEW #aew imagines #aew fanficiton #aew smut #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling imagine #wrestling smut #the young bucks #pls be kind #wrestling #being the elite

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tundrainafrica · 5 years ago

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Why I love LeviHan (a rant)

So I'm pretty new to the LeviHan community and I just wanted to rant about how much of a work of art this fucking ship is even though I have no idea whether Isayama did it on purpose or not. But damn, this ship literally introduced me to the drama of shipping fluff and AUs --- two genres I used to avoid like the plague because never have I felt such adamance for a ship to set sail in YEARS since Percabeth back in high school.

To give some background about myself, the past five years, I was no fan of ships. Like literally, I tried to avoid shipping fics like the plague (for any fandom) because I was like "come on war racial war, zombie like monsters? Who has time to fall in love?" A lot of non romance shows don’t leave time for a relationship to develop and we literally just get a time skip where suddenly they pair people up together and I’m like woop good story but yo how the heck did they end up together.

In real life, I also did get into a healthy relationship with a guy, a slow burn after five years type and I thought yeah I've seen how I want a relationship to develop and now imma be picky as fuck with ships.

I did end up picky as fuck with ships but Isayama with the minimal screen time he actually gave this ship to set sail with probably minimal intention to actually confirm their ship got me climbing into this ship while it sunk canonically after chapter 132 because holy fuck ISAYAMA YOU MAD MAN.

Let's talk about how they were introduced. Trost is destroyed. Titans are impossible to kill then whoop. We get a group of weirdos and outcasts who can somehow kill titans like crazy.

Strong titan slayer dude.

Strong titan slayer girl. (Hange is female to me.)

Cool commander dude.

Cool interesting characters. Eren's dream team since episode 1. Two captains. Constantly together. Erwin is their glue. Nothing suspicious about that. They work together. They're too busy fighting Titans to actually be considering a relationship right??

Besides, Hange and Levi are just way too different like

Levi is like *slash slash slash I hate titans u ugly* *slash slash slash eww titan blood* *slash slash slash kill Titans they're all monsters*

Hange is like *slash slash slash oooh titan blood* *slash slash slash dont kill them i wanna dissect them* *doesn't slash* titans make me horny.

Like sure we could argue opposites attract but there are more cases where opposite personality dating would probably backfire and with the idiosyncrasies of both parties at polar ends of the spectrum it just didn't seem possible for there to be a spark? Like logistically they would tear each other's hair out if they were stuck together in a relationship.

At that point, Erwin being the middle ground between both captain weirdos, I couldn't help but think shipping Erwin with either of them would have been the more realistic option.

Season 2 had its fair share the first two scenes with Levi picking her up and the carriage. Didn't see anything too sparky yet and yes the last scene where he could tell who she is by her knock. (but yes sparks flew in hindsight).

Season 3: Erwin the glue gets trapped in capital due to political reasons and only one arm. Two captains forced to combine forces to manage the survey corps in peril. They get their bonding moments like torturing some dude together and reflecting over the untimely deaths of Hange’s squad. (and maybe Levi’s squad too)

They separate while coup d'etat happens because their skills were needed elsewhere. They got to save Eren and like hours later in the cavern Levi was especially concerned about Hange when she got shot by the hook back in the cavern like you don't see that concern with any other character except maybe Erwin. (But it can be argued that maybe all the other people he ever loved died too fast he never got the time to be concerned.)

All the way until the battle of Shiganshina Levi is usually with Hange.

When he’s not with her, there’s a reason (usually Erwin’s orders.)

When he's not with her he's thinking about her.

Then Erwin their magical glue of a commander does die and the captains gotta stick together even without the glue because they're the last two surviving people in the old survey corps.

It's apparent Levi hates the changes made to the survey corps because he still keeps the green cloak which everyone kinda abandoned. So it can be argued that Hänge was also that last bit of fresh air Levi had of the olden days.

they're

together

almost

Every

Friking

Scene

Like you can't blame them. Levi is anti social and traditional survey corps type.

Hange is still reeling from the loss of Erwin and her quick rise to power as commander.

They may have differing personalities but they had the same history. They both know loss, bloodshed and battle the survey corps brings that no one else probably understands to the extent they do.

And we get the bombshell of this scene.

Hange literally proposes to him that they just run away to the forest and just build a life for themselves and the cold harsh brazen Levi doesn't outright reject it.

He instead acknowledges what he knows about her that she'll never do that. This only confirms that they know each other too well, that they have a bond that exists between them which cannot so easily be replaced by anyone else.

And then a few chapters later

Dead.

And sure yeah Levi didn't cry but like yo, the way Levi handled her death is worse than crying. We have never seen Levi react to a death like this.

Levi is holding on to the hand which touched Hange’s.

Levi just sits down in the middle of a pivotal scene and where he might end up fighting any minute coz like what's life he literally lost everything he could have lived for.

Like sure people who don't think LeviHan is canon would say “He’s injured. He’s tired.”

Just a few chapters ago though we got him ready to fight

"That’s the last person left of course it would break him more than anything"

That's the point. They're complete opposites they've been together for years and even if the chemistry wasn't there before, even if they would never have gotten along at all, personality and logistics-wise, they were placed in a situation where their glue Erwin died, everything of the life they knew before, all their loved ones in the survey corps died and now they were left with the responsibility of managing what's left and being the only two people with a shared history.

That literally set up one of the best places for a fucking romance to bloom. Yet the war and the circumstances just made it so hard for them to act upon it yet somehow the manga and anime were peppered with this cool understanding of

Yo I want you.

like maybe when we retire let's keep in touch and I dunno have babies or something

But yeah yo we gotta fight.

Then Levi be like “Yeah babies be a good idea?” (Titans don’t love you. I love you.)

Death foreshadowing

Then Levi

Fucking

Broken

Like we've never seen him before.

Wow isayama the madman didn't need to build this masterpiece of a relationship from love at first sight, to confessions, to placing them in unnatural situations for sexual tension.

He built a subtle relationship out of necessity, out of the need for some humanity in this dark world. Two people placed at the lead at the forefront of this war, willing to adjust, willing to change and work despite their differences because they needed that warmth, they needed the reminder that there exists happiness and hope in this world which transcends all that bullshit they have experienced to that point until her death.

I really wish I could experience that epiphany again with another couple.

I applaud the subtlety of this relationship and the natural development of one of the best ships I have experienced in a long while.

#levihan #levi x hanji #levi x hange #levi ackerman #hange zoë #hange zoe #hanji zoe #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #ship

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hellotherekenobi · 5 years ago

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(4) I might need an extension to the ballroom plot. Kara you’re my lord and savior

So, Obi-Wan & the people of Stewjon have been preparing for this night since the beginning of the year-- it's tradition & Obi is adamant that it take place, despite your protests seeing as he's got a target on his back, for crying out loud! He's got to be more careful & hosting an extravagant party is doing the exact opposite of that. But he's prince, so his word is final (he likes to tease you about this too; no matter what you two are arguing over, he'll always throw, “Well, I'm prince so I can do whatever I want.” It frustrates the crap out of you.)

The only thing you win is his approval to attend the ball in your robes, although he did ask if you could wear a dress. It took one glare his way to send him apologizing to you.

You feel a little uncomfortable at first, being around so many people in fancy clothes, but busy yourself with doing perimeter checks & making sure you've got an eye on Obi-Wan the whole night-- which proves to be a nuisance, doesn't it, because Satine is practically stuck to his arm like glue. You're downing drink after drink at seeing her run her painted nails up and down his arm & giggling at him whenever he says anything. You're about ready to Judo Slam her into the ground.

But Obi-Wan manages to shake her off after their dance & chuckles at how you're visibly straining to not break the glass in your hand. He insists that you accompany him to the next dance & before you can say no, he throws you the ol', “I'm prince and I say that you must dance with me.” so you timidly take his hand and let him lead you into the middle of the room. He can sense that you're nervous, so he asks you what's wrong & you tell him, “I've not danced before.” He's surprised, even though he should know that seeing as you're a Jedi, but for once he doesn't tease you about it. Instead, he gently places his hand onto your upper back, pulling you close to him, and raising your hand in his, “Just follow my lead.”

How can you resist those eyes of his? You place full trust in him that he won't make you look like an absolute fool & amazingly, you find yourself dancing rather well. The feeling of his hand on you is a little intoxicating, especially this close to him, & he never looks anywhere else-- only at you (almost surprising as he constantly would send you glances when he was dancing with Satine.) You almost forget anyone else is in the room & when the dance is over, you thank him, & the charm is gone when he says, “Well, you had an amazing partner.” You literally walk away from him right then and there.

You'll see that he's taken outside with Satine a little later in the night onto one of the balconies & although you need to make sure he's safe, you honestly follow them more so out of the need to know what they're doing. Again, she's all over him but away from the eyes of his people, here he's extremely standoffish & leaning away from her attempts to get close to him. It's when she traps him between her & the ledge to kiss him do you jump in with your lightsaber outstretched, causing Satine to jolt away from him in freight. You'd feign innocence like, “Oh, sorry. I didn't realize it was you. I thought someone was holding the prince here captive. You know what? Let's go back inside. I don't want to take any chances.” & you'd link your arm with Obi's & leave Satine on the balcony.

#and i said 'drink from my cup my son'#i am but sent here to share these ideas with you #:obianswers #au #stewjon au #prince!obi #:writings

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writerskook · 5 years ago

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WAKING GHOSTS - A WIP INTRODUCTION

genre - contemporary romance

pov - third person limited

themes - love - substance abuse - ptsd - anxiety - chronic illness - grief - friendship - law breaking

SYNOPSIS

Finneas O’Hagan is a ghost.

He disappeared nearly four years ago. There was no ransom note. He had the type of personality that made it easy to label his disappearance as a bout of curiosity. People searched the woods surrounding his home. People looked in trees. People tore down huts made of branches and called his name into the night sky, already cursing him to Heaven.

Finneas O’Hagan is a ghost by definition; dead, lost, trapped.

People don’t realise ghosts aren’t supposed to come home. Ghosts are searching for their freedom. Finneas O’Hagan has found his.

Right now it’s just a question of whether he wants it or not.

CHARACTERS

Finneas O’Hagan - ghosts, bruised knuckles, smashed windows, police sirens, jumping over wire fences in the middle of the night, climbing up fire escapes, an arm looped around your best friends shoulders, a smile that can cut, eyes watering even as you grin, sharp tongue and witty words.

Sampson McVarish - oversized jumpers, fingers hidden in sleeves, tired eyes, messy hair, walls plastered with photographs you have taken, shy smiles, hollow cheeks, soft hands, kisses pressed to your mothers cheek, hand-me-downs, nimble fingers stuck together with glue, being the one under your best friends arm.

Meredith Bell - giving police the middle finger, resting bitch face, silence, graffiti on brick walls, high heeled boots, smudged lipstick, a death certificate, yelling at the moon, calloused hands, fingers littered with rings, smothering sobs, studying late into the night, earphones.

Adam Stone - loud laughter, crowds, festivals, tractors, wellington boots, fields and farm animals, walking round the house naked, blasting music at three am, rain dripping down your nose, muttered apologies, unexplained bruises, spray paint.

Albert O’Hagan - argyle jumpers, perfectly styled hair, hands tucked in pockets, sitting on a roof at night, cigarettes, the business smile, charming words, secret criminal records, spittle flying from your mouth as you yell, sparkling trophies, ripped photographs.

EXCERPT

Above the door, a bell rings. Immediately Sampson sits up straight, pulls his shoulders back in that way he was taught by TV shows and online articles that went into detail about how to look professional in front of a customer.

Meredith steps inside, snow falling in clumps from her shoulders, sinking into the doormat. Snow flakes are tangled in her dark brown hair, her nose running. She reaches into the pocket of her puffer jacket and pulls out a tissue. It takes her a full eighteen seconds to look up and spot Sampson sitting behind the counter.

“Afternoon,” she says. “I didn't know you were working today.”

“I'm working everyday.”

“Ah, yes. I forgot. You took on more shifts, like a dumb bitch.”

Sampson rolls his eyes, catching the balled up tissue Meredith lobs at him. “Waste of time anyway. Dad's back in hospital today.”

Meredith groans, slipping her coat off to reveal the dark blue shirt of their uniform beneath. “Serious? That sucks, man. What's he going in for?”

“Tests.”

“He's always going in for tests. I wouldn't worry too much about it.”

“He sounded pretty set on the idea of not coming back from them this time.”

In the world, there are two types of responses for a sentence like that – you either offer condolences and move on, or you stay quiet until the subject can be safely changed. Sampson has been on the receiving end of condolences far too many times in his life. He's grateful for the silence now.

tagging: @vuurkorf

#wip intro #wip introduction #wip #wip; waking ghosts #writeblr #amwriting #writers on tumblr #fiction #my writing #fiction writing

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maximumsnow · 6 years ago

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Idk what this even is but take it. It’s like a Schrodinger’s Fanfic because i couldn’t decide if I wanted this to be fanfic, or if the characters were so ooc that I should just make them ocs. If you can guess what this is based off of, you get an internet cookie.

If you were to ask Alex how he got sandwiched between three people who would probably kill him if they knew who he was, he would not be able to give a good answer. All he knew was that one day, he had to fix a generator, and then he got dragged into this group for survival. Honestly, he needed them far more than they needed him. Sure, he could fix generators so they could have electricity and water pumps so they could get water more easily, but given the hell he had caused them (not necessarily on purpose), they would likely prefer living without those commodities. Meanwhile Pi and Charlie had literally saved his life several times by fighting off threats, and Lucky was the glue that held them together. Thankfully, they didn't question why he never took off the ski goggles. He guessed that that was due their own eccentricities or paranoia. He had a vague suspicion that Lucky knew who he was, but so far, the strange person never called him out on it. However, it did keep him from talking to the other two out of fear that they would recognize his voice. Normally, they all split up at night, picking rooms to sleep in, and recharge for the next day. This allowed any tensions to ease so that they didn't snap at each other when they couldn't afford to. It also allowed Alex time to breathe and take those uncomfortable goggles off from time to time. Tonight, however, the winter wind was harsher than expected, and Pi was adamant about it bringing a blizzard. He wasn't wrong, surprisingly. Their current shelter didn’t have the benefit of windows, and the holes in the ceiling let far too much snow in most of the rooms. Because of this, they all had to hole up in the center room. Which was still freezing. Lucky had long claimed the bed, but they seemed unsatisfied since they kept sitting up and looking at the others. Pi, Charlie, and himself had basically claimed corners of the room and set up their various sleeping paraphernalia. Charlie had a sleeping bag that had seen better days, but it rolled up neatly. Alex guessed it was a leftover from his job as a tour guide of the wilderness. Pi had a blanket and pillow that were likely scavenged that day. Meanwhile, he had his backpack doubling as a pillow and that was about it. He arguably had the warmest coat of them all, but he was still freezing. The others were too, based on how much they kept shifting around. Alex nearly cursed when he saw the lightbulb go off in Lucky's head; not because he thought it would be stupid, but because he knew there wouldn't be an argument for it. "What are you doing? I thought you were going to join me in bed?" Wait what? They had expected that? Pi immediately jumped up and all but dove into the bed and curled up next to Lucky. He sent a pointed glare at Charlie who rolled his eyes and snipped, "You said you'd ban us if we tried, yesterday." "That was yesterday. Today Jack Frost is trying to kick the door down!" They waved their hand in a dismissive way. "Now come over here before you turn into a Charlie-cicle." Charlie grumbled before turning towards where Alex had frozen. "Come on, you're going in the middle." He couldn't stop himself before the word stumbled out, "Wh-what?" Dammit, Alex, you're trying to keep talking to a minimum. "One: Pi might kill me if I'm next to him, and two: No offense, but if something gets in, you're not much of a fighter." "..." Alex couldn't argue that. Goggles firmly on, he nervously stood up and went over to the bed. Pi's glare softened a little, and he patted the spot next to him. Not able to put it off any longer, Alex finally sat on the edge of the bed and brought his feet up so he could lay down near the center. Pi rolled onto his side so that his back was facing Alex and threw an arm around Lucky. Alex looked up at Charlie, and even though the goggles blocked most of his face, his nervousness must have been obvious. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to get that close,” Charlie said as he nodded towards the cuddly Pi. Without warning, Charlie hopped onto the bed, forcing Alex to scoot almost on top of Pi to keep from touching Charlie. “Jeez, I’m not contagious, I promise,” Charlie said with a laugh as he plopped down and rolled over so that he faced the doorway. He probably had his gun laying by the bed.

Alex had chosen to lay on his back, and while he had to admit that he was significantly warmer, he felt trapped. The feeling wasn’t helped when Lucky suddenly pulled a comforter out of nowhere and threw it on all of them. Where was this earlier???

Charlie had a similar thought and voiced the question. Lucky just laughed and told everyone goodnight. Alex felt more than heard Charlie sigh, and he could just imagine the eyeroll that accompanied it.

Despite the nagging fears, he was out like a light within a few minutes.

When he woke the next morning, he was surprisingly comfortable, and his hazy mind was content to simply enjoy the warmth. It wasn’t until he felt something under his arm move that several things clicked into place. One, he had shifted during the night and was now lying on his side. Two, he had apparently thrown his arm over the person in front of him. Three, the person was Charlie, who was trying to get up.

He all but snatched his arm back and tried to scoot away from the ex-tour guide, but he was halted when he felt Pi’s still sleeping form shifting around. Dammit

“Oh sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” Charlie whispered in apology. The tired blue eyes were so sincere, and that kindness burned Alex. “I’ll be back in a bit. Gotta check on something.” Charlie’s eyes wandered to the two who were still sleeping for a few seconds before focusing on Alex.

Alex simply nodded in response, glad that the fact that he had an excuse to stay quiet. Charlie already had his rifle in hand, and he teased the only door open, slipped through, and closed it again.

Alex wasn’t sure what was so important that Charlie had to leave right then, and his active imagination kicked into high gear. Sleep was now out of the question. If Charlie couldn’t handle it, Alex sure as hell couldn’t. He contemplated waking up Lucky and Pi, but the more logical side of him knew that they would just get aggravated if he woke them up for nothing. Which he desperately didn’t want to do.

He tried to focus his mind on literally anything else, but the next thing it did was notice that he felt colder without the fourth person there. Not liking where that was going, he sat up so he could see the only exit better.

It felt like hours, but Alex knew it could only have been a few minutes before the door quietly creaked again. He couldn’t contain the sudden gasp of breath he made at the sudden sound, and Charlie was quick to assure, “It’s just me, I promise.”

Alex hated how much Charlie’s voice calmed him down. It didn’t feel right.

When Charlie made it back to the bed, Alex could hear him drop his weapon before he plopped onto the edge of the bed. Lucky nor Pi were disturbed by this, and Alex seriously wondered at how deep their sleep was.

Charlie lied down, and Alex was envious at how quickly his breathing deepened. Charlie could just get up, deal with something potentially dangerous, and drop right back to sleep whereas Alex often had to trick his mind that they were safe enough to sleep. He didn’t want to think on the implications that he hadn’t needed to do that earlier that night.

With all three of his companions sleeping soundly, Alex again found himself musing on his life leading up to this and what would happen if they found out. He was pretty sure that the best case scenario would involve them just splitting paths at the most convenient moment, and he did not put much stock that they would be that peaceful. He had seen Charlie and Pi take out their fair share of bandits and mutants, and Lucky had his ways of inflicting misery on those he disliked.

It was in the middle of this thought when he heard Charlie make a sound not unlike a whine and he rolled over to face Alex. Alex couldn’t really see Charlie’s face, and it took him a few seconds to realize that Charlie was still asleep. The thing that really got his attention was the fact that the quiet sounds continued.

He sounded distressed.

Probably a nightmare.

Alex wasn’t sure how to handle that. On one hand, it wasn’t like Charlie was awake and would know Alex didn’t help, but on the other hand, Alex kinda felt like he should. This lead to Alex awkwardly whispering, “Hey, it’s okay, I’m here...” He followed his words up with an even more awkward pat on Charlie’s arm.

The fact that this seemed to calm Charlie startled Alex, so he continued his actions until Charlie stopped whimpering and stilled. What startled Alex even more is that Charlie then threw an arm around him and pulled him closer.

Alex knew he was stuck when Charlie’s breathing completely evened out, and despite his guilt, he didn’t hate it. In fact, he was getting sleepy again...

#My writing #This basically amounts to the trope BUT THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED and I'm not sorry #4 idiots of the apocalypse

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ellenembee · 7 years ago

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The Revelation of All Things - 57. In which hope is lost and found

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After the Inquisitor left to find Clarel, Cullen organized a contingent to follow behind her and keep the path open in case she needed to retreat. He briefly, selfishly, thought of leading the troops himself but immediately buried the thought alongside all his other unnecessary, overprotective impulses.

His soldiers needed him here. They needed his direction and his presence. So, he tightened the strip of cloth around the gash in his leg and settled for sending Captain Rylen instead.

"Do whatever it takes to ensure her success," Cullen ordered. "Understand?"

Rylen's ice-blue eyes reflected grim determination as he gripped Cullen's forearm in a firm handshake. "Of course. You can count on me."

Cullen gritted his teeth. "You can't let the soldiers lose hope or squander any advantage... even if..." The words stuck to his mouth like glue, but he pushed them out anyway. "...even if the Inquisitor falls."

Rylen squeezed Cullen's arm. "It won't come to that... but if it does, I know what to do."

Cullen nodded and let the captain go. He'd done all he could for Evana. He would have to trust that she and her companions would do their part to remain safe.

They'd cleared the gates some time ago, and he'd placed a unit there, including Iron Bull, to hold the area. Wave after wave swept inside and headed off on their pre-determined routes based on the plans Leliana had obtained of the fortress. Dorian, Vivienne and Sera had each chosen a wave and followed along. Cullen had then sent Blackwall to the battlements with another contingent of soldiers to hold the area.

Now, as he led a large group further into the immense fortress, he marveled at the glut of demons and mages swarming the soldiers. The stones were slick with blood from both sides, but still their enemies poured from every crevice like vermin.

He had a moment's reprieve when they came across several groups of Warden warriors actually fighting against the demons. A handful of restrained mages lined the wall behind the warriors.

"Commander Cullen of the Inquisition," he barked out before any of his soldiers could engage with the Wardens. "I take it you have surrendered?"

"In a manner of speaking, ser. The Inquisitor told us to fall back, but we were attacked by our own mages when we allowed Inquisition soldiers to pass by unchallenged. We may have also given your people a few tips on ambushes waiting for them ahead. We've been fighting demons and mages ever since."

Despite a deep desire to cut them down for their stupidity, Cullen let them be. "Just keep the demons from getting past this point. You may attempt to restrain and save your mages if you wish. We have templars among us who can silence them for now... but I'm not sure how you'll break Corypheus' hold on them."

"Yes, ser. Thank you, ser," the man said before glancing worriedly at the line of shrieking, dead-eyed mages struggling against their bonds. "And neither are we."

Cullen pushed deeper into the fortress and eventually met up with another unit sweeping the area. As they moved together toward the main hall and courtyard at the center of the fortress, the screaming, shouting and clashing of armor and weapons grew more intense.

Suddenly, screams of a different kind cut through the din, and a dark, winged shadow loomed overhead before letting out an ear-splitting roar. Corypheus' archdemon swooped past them, and Cullen's lip curled up in a snarl of pure hatred. His shoulders tensed in readiness even as harrowing memories flashed through his mind.

Haven burning. Soldiers screaming in pain and terror. Evana's final look in the Chantry. Evana nearly dead in his arms.

A putrid wind from the archdemon's wings whipped past them, causing them to choke. The dragon did not engage, however, and landed on a tower close to the main hall - the place he assumed Evana would be right now. Cullen sent up a brief plea to the Maker to protect her before shaking off the sense of dread creeping up his spine and turning to his troops.

"The archdemon is not our concern. We need to clear this fortress. The Inquisitor and her companions will deal with the Wardens and the dragon." Fear ate at his confidence, but he forced steel into his tone. "She has fought several dragons before and come out unscathed. She will triumph."

The soldiers seemed to perk up at this new information, their expressions reflecting their newly found resolve. Cullen took a last look at the massive beast still perched on the tower and then led them forward.

The soldiers fought with renewed vigor, but their enemy pushed back. Hard. Each step forward brought more demons, more magic, more chaos, more shrieking, more death and moans of pain. They waded through veritable pools of blood at choke points, the bodies piled high, and though Cullen kept his eyes forward, the sights and sounds churned in the depths of his mind, stirring up feelings he'd buried long ago.

Not now, Maker, please, not now...

He tried to shake off the burgeoning panic, but everywhere he turned, he could see it. Hear it. The narrow stairs, the imposing walls, the demonic laughter, the dead eyes, the mages in thrall, the desperate voices begging for mercy, for a swift death...

Something whispered past the barrier. Cullen shuddered but did not give up his chant. He'd never been so glad of those hours spent memorizing the words of the Maker.

He cut through another demon and then pressed a fist to his forehead, fighting desperately against the sensation of drowning, suffocating, in the unwanted thoughts. He wasn't there. He was at Adamant.

A shade came at him, and he lashed out at it as his vision tunneled...

The hiss of scraping claws over stone reached his ears. He recited the words louder, trying to drown out the evidence of his tormentor's attention. This demon had fixated on him in particular, and nothing he said or did seemed to dissuade it. So, he wove the chant into shield around his mind and his heart, praying the mages would kill him before the demon drove him to complete madness.

The air would not come. His chest constricted. The walls closed in on him, trapping him as he slashed wildly at the shade. Somehow, he managed to kill it. He backed away from the fighting, desperate to regain control. But instead the darkness claimed him...

A voice, her voice, whispered in his ear and then slithered inside, into his head, until he could barely distinguish his own thoughts from that insidious voice. His late-night fantasies of touching her, tasting her - thoughts indulged only under cover of darkness - became distorted replicas of themselves. Familiar and yet wrong, as if looking at a reflected picture of one's self, the images shifted subtly.

Over and over again until his fantasies turned to nightmares. Until he could no longer knew what was real.

He fought it. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. When he no longer had the strength to stand, he pushed aside the severed limbs and mutilated bodies of his friends while his stomach lurched and emptied time and again. Kneeling in the congealing, rotting gore, he shut out the shrieks of horror and agony echoing from the chambers above with the sound of his own hoarse voice. Repeating the chant. Over and over and over.

Hungry. Thirsty. Afraid to sleep. Afraid to die. More afraid they'd let him live...

A blast of ice brought Cullen back to the present with a start. The suffocating darkness lifted and the Circle tower fell away to reveal a wide rampart stretching out before him. Vaguely, he recognized the tattered black rags and hovering body as a despair demon, but before he could fully shake off the heavy weight of his memories, the demon shot another blast of ice at him, this time freezing him in place. Helpless against the cold, he fixated on the shadowed and hideous maw screeching at him through a haze of ice and the long claw-like fingers grabbing for him.

A strange calm settled over him when the edge of the demon's claw sliced through his neck. Although a shallow cut, he could feel the heat of his own blood melting the thin sheen of frost coating his skin. The demon would rip his throat out, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He felt a deep sorrow at the thought of leaving Evana behind, her lovely face filling his vision as he braced for the end.

Suddenly, the despair demon let out a high-pitched shriek and blasted away from him on a cloud of ice. In the demon's place stood a wide-eyed soldier, his sword dripping with fresh blood. In the next moment, the demon's spell shattered, and Cullen fell forward on his hands and knees, his sword clattering from stiff fingers. A hand landed on Cullen's shoulder, and he jerked away before looking up to see the young soldier staring down at him, terror and determination radiating from the man in equal parts.

"Commander?"

"I'm alright," he croaked weakly as he wiped frozen fingers across the blood on his neck. "You worry about that demon."

"Yes, ser!"

The young soldier charged at the demon, leaving Cullen to pull himself up as quickly as his icy limbs would allow. He curled his gradually warming fingers around the hilt of his sword - around that strip of leather Evana had designed specially for him - and stumbled toward the fight. While the young soldier distracted the demon, Cullen approached from behind, his blood pumping faster and warmth flooding his limbs with every step.

He wasn't there. He was at Adamant fortress. He was the Commander of the Inquisition. And he would not fall to a demon. Not then, and certainly not now.

He sprinted the remaining distance and brought his sword down on the demon's neck, slicing its head clean off. As it melted into goo before them, Cullen leaned over, pressed his hands to thighs covered in cold, damp leather and took another moment to recover. Catching the young man's eye, he nodded in thanks. The soldier gave a nervous laugh and nodded back.

They quickly rejoined the others to help fight off a couple of rage demons and a few Warden archers. Then, the contingent moved forward again, sweeping back and forth through the inner areas, going in and out of rooms and rooting out more demons.

Flashbacks tried to claim him several more times as they fought through the glut of enemies in never-ending supply around every corner, but now he worked even harder to stay grounded. Another slip like that would get him killed, and he had too much to live for to give up so easily.

Thoughts of Evana led him back to scanning the skies. Cullen knew as long as the archdemon had circled the fortress, it meant the Inquisitor had evaded the dragon, but the beast seemed to have disappeared during the past few minutes.

Then he heard it. A mighty roar of a dragon... followed by the most gut-wrenching sound of stone collapsing Cullen had ever heard. The stones under their feet trembled with the force of it, and Cullen's heart plummeted to his stomach.

But demons barred their path, and he could not alter their plan of attack now. He had to stay the course, no matter how it tore him apart, no matter how the fear and panic clawed at the cage he'd place around them.

To his respective relief and mild annoyance, Dorian and Sera joined them along the way, and in another half an hour, they'd reached the main hall and courtyard where the remaining Warden warriors fought alongside Rylen's contingent. Demons spawned continually from a giant rift at the center of the hall, and the soldiers would cut them all down only to repeat the process with the next surge. Cullen grimaced at memories of their first few days fighting the rifts after the Conclave... before Evana had appeared to save them all.

Cullen circled the perimeter, keeping to the wall as he scanned the area for her, hoping and praying. Cole flashed in and out in stealth mode as he attacked a rage demon. Sera had already joined the fray. But Evana wasn't there.

Maker, keep her safe... please... He couldn't lose her. Not after everything they'd been through. Cullen's carefully contained panic rattled its cage of frayed mental strength and began bleeding out through the weak spots.

"Commander!"

Rylen's sudden approach pulled Cullen from his spiraling thoughts. He shoved the clawing terror back and focused on his second in command.

"Where is the Inquisitor?" Cullen barked.

Good friend that he was, Rylen ignored the obvious tremor in Cullen's voice, shook his head and pointed up the stairs to the side. "The Inquisitor followed Clarel and Erimond that way... but we heard a terrible crash and haven't seen hide nor hair of her nor any of her companions since. I fear..."

Rylen froze mid-sentence as if suddenly remembering something. His eyes grew wide, and before Cullen could ask what the matter was, Rylen twisted violently and lashed out, his sword slicing through the empty space behind him.

Only his sword didn't pass through the emptiness. A harsh cry rent the air, and a dagger clattered to the stone as Rylen's sword cut deeply into the shoulder of a Venatori assassin. Cullen immediately sprang into action, dodging around Rylen to run the man through. When the assassin dropped to the ground, Rylen stood staring at the body for a long moment, his chest heaving and eyes wide.

"How?" Cullen asked incredulously, still a little breathless from the sudden shock. "How did you know he would be there? Did you hear him?"

"She warned me," he panted out in a tone just as dazed as Cullen's. "She told me..."

Rylen shook his whole body as if trying to wake himself from a dream. He turned to Cullen, his eyes still wide but a familiar wry grin on his lips.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I barely believe me." Rylen gazed down at the body for a moment more, shook his head and then continued on with his report. "Well, now we've cleared up that mess... The Wardens seem to have had enough of inciting mass chaos. Apparently, Clarel pulled her head out of her arse and charged them to assist us, so we've got this rift under control."

As he spoke, Rylen's eyes occasionally slid to the body at their feet before jerking up to meet Cullen's gaze once more. Cullen knew they didn't have time for it now, but he made a note to speak to Rylen about the incident later. Clearly there was more to the story than Rylen let on.

"The whole keep shuddered with the force of whatever happened up there," Rylen finished with a grimace. "Should I...?"

Cullen shook his head. "No. I will go. You stay here and manage that rift."

Rylen nodded, and without preamble, he strode to the rift as it pulsed with another round of demons. Cullen signaled to a few nearby soldiers and approached the stairs. If his unit had made it to the main hall, it meant the battle was nearly won. His troops knew what to do now. And no one would question the Commander being the one to concern himself with the whereabouts of the Warden-Commander and Magister Erimond. He would take this one moment to be selfish, if it could be called that. The creeping dread nearly stopped him cold, but he took a deep breath and led the small group up the stairs.

Sera stayed behind to help with the rift, but Dorian and Cole fell in step beside Cullen. Cole remained terrifyingly silent, and Cullen couldn't... wouldn't ask. Cullen and Dorian shared a look of concern as they rounded the top of the stairs to see the magister Erimond, incapacitated but alive, on the edge of a crumbled stone bridge. A couple of brave men walked gingerly to the man and pulled him closer to the walls, away from the edge.

His veneer of calm wearing thin, Cullen was in no mood to be gentle. He picked up Erimond by his foppish collar and slapped him hard across the face to wake him.

Erimond startled, and Cullen immediately shouted, "Where is the Inquisitor?! What have you done with her?"

"Wha...? Where? Oh..." The magister let out a breathy chuckle as his eyes finally focused on Cullen. "If you're looking for your precious Inquisitor, she went that way-" Erimond shakily raised his arm to point out into the expanse of nothing and then turned his finger down. "-along with all of her companions. I do believe that was the Champion with her, was it not? Your false heroes seem to fall just as quickly as you can raise them up."

Cullen felt like all the air had been sucked out of his lungs. He unceremoniously dropped the magister, uncaring of the man's cry of pain, and crawled out to the edge of the stone as silent lips formed the same word over and over.

No, no, no...

Dorian's warning cut through the savage panic scrambling to escape Cullen's waning control, but he was already too far out. Luckily, the stone held firm beneath him. He leaned his head over the edge... and stared into the utter blackness of a yawning chasm.

Frustration pricked at his already strained nerves even as relief crept in along the edges of his panic. He couldn't have handled seeing her body broken open on the rocks below. Bile rose up in his throat just thinking about it.

Scrambling away from the precarious edge, he threw his back against the nearest wall and sat utterly still for a moment as the numbness of shock and denial slowly faded. A pain like nothing he'd ever felt took its place, building in his chest like a heavy weight crushing him from above. His breaths came harder and faster with each draw of air into his lungs. The pain seared his entire body, agonizing and breathtaking in its depth. As bad as Haven had been - the fear, the guilt, the not knowing - this... Maker, this was ten thousand times worse.

He hadn't realized how much his love for her had grown. It hadn't occurred to him how much more it would hurt to know she loved him in return - to know the joy of having and holding someone as lovely and perfect for him as she - only to have her ripped away from him in a split second. All his rationalizations, all his justifications for pushing her away, for waiting, now seemed foolish. So incredibly foolish.

At least he'd finally told her. At least she'd died knowing he loved her. As he would have to live knowing she'd loved him... all the while remembering the time he'd wasted on his own fears and hesitations instead of simply loving her with all he had when he'd had the chance.

He groaned pitifully and dropped his head into his hands. He vaguely recognized that he should be more in control, that his soldiers were standing nearby and watching, waiting for his next orders, waiting for him to rally them to the cause. But he couldn't face anyone. Not yet.

The initial wave of excruciating pain faded, and a stone settled inside his chest, cold and hard. No tears came. He felt hollow... empty.

She was... she was...

Gone. His light was gone.

"Maker... Evana..."

The words fell from his lips, but he didn't recognize the anguished voice that spoke them. Dorian, however, had crawled carefully along the stone wall and arrived at Cullen's side in time to hear them. The mage's voice, for once lacking in sarcasm and edged with desperation, cut into Cullen's mourning.

"What is it? What did you see?"

"Nothing," he whispered brokenly. Then in a firmer, louder tone, "It's too dark. I-"

An evil laugh cut him off. "Oh, don't worry. She's definitely dead. The archdemon saw to that."

Cullen felt another of rush of pain, but along with it came an anger so potent it took his breath away. Scowling, he jumped up and strode toward the magister, intent on physical harm.

Cole stepped in his path. Cullen skidded to a halt, his brain having trouble processing so many swings in emotion in such a short period. He stared at the spirit boy blankly until Cole began to speak.

"Gone from this world but not gone. Sparks sear dragon flesh. Down, down over the edge with splitting, cracking stone. Too late. Then... green cracks and sputters, a tear in the veil but not an old one. New, bright, wide, built to save." Cole turned to look deeply into Cullen's eyes and shivered. "Gone from this world but not gone. She opened a rift, and they fell... fell into the Fade!"

Too ravaged and raw to be gentle, Cullen grabbed the boy by the collar, his breathing harsh and unrestrained. He rarely understood Cole's ramblings, but that last sentence was too clear to mean anything else. Tempering his wildly flaring hope, he gave Cole a little shake.

"You're sure? She's in the Fade? Right now?"

Cole nodded, eyes wide. "The anchor disappeared, brightness extinguished, but it didn't feel like dying. No. Not dying. More like... like going home."

Dorian let out a sigh of relief, accepting all this far faster than Cullen's brain could process it. He fed off Dorian's confidence, however, looking to Cole for answers as Dorian pressed the boy for information.

"Can you feel them now? Can you see if they are truly alive? If any of them are in pain?"

Cole shook his head sadly. "No. I can't feel them in the Fade. It's too far and I..." Cole shuddered. "I don't want to go back there."

Cullen finally let go of the boy and exhaled, his heart beating wildly at the ups and downs he'd just experienced. "No one is asking you to, Cole. You're safe here... well... as safe as you can be in a keep full of demons."

Cole nodded, and his eyes, though still wide with the weight of whatever he'd seen, now held a note of calmness they'd lacked earlier. The pain in Cullen's own chest ebbed into a shaky kind of elation. He felt slightly drunk on it. Sure, she's physically walking through the Fade with her companions. Why not? She's already been there once and survived. No problem.

The boy hovered before finally asking in a small voice. "I helped?"

Cullen gripped the boy's shoulder and looked directly into his icy blue eyes. "Yes. You most certainly did. Thank you, Cole. Now, back to the rift with you. The soldiers need your help."

With a shy grin, Cole disappeared, leaving Cullen feeling far more charitable toward the boy than ever before. She could be alive. Maker... please let her be alive, and bring her back to me.

With a suddenness that took his soldiers by surprise, Cullen strode forward and pointed at Erimond. "Take him down to the main gate and find a few templars to hold him. We can't have him using his magic to escape. The Inquisitor will judge him once she returns."

Erimond looked unsure for the first time. Cullen's confidence seemed to have shaken his own.

"You can't be serious!" he whined. "That boy has no idea what he's talking about! Even if it's true they fell into the Fade, they won't make it out. She'll die there. They're probably already dead! Do you hear me?!"

Cullen paid no attention to the magister and strode quickly back to the center hall with Dorian hard on his heels. The mage remained silent at first, but halfway back to the courtyard, he finally spoke.

"Cullen, I hate to agree with Venatori scum, but..." Dorian reached out and grabbed Cullen's arm, pulling him to a halt on a narrow stretch of the ramparts. "We don't know that they survived their fall into the Fade."

Cullen looked away from Dorian's serious gaze, for once glad of the darkness surrounding them. The moons shone down brightly, but even with the silvery light, details were muddy. Perhaps Dorian couldn't see the doubt and fear in his expression.

"I know," he admitted reluctantly, "but... at least it's something. It's more than I... than we had before."

Dorian hummed in understanding. "You clearly have something in mind. A plan of action, perhaps, from our action-oriented Commander? What's going through that pretty golden head of yours?"

Cullen started down the path again and rolled his eyes as he looked over at the mage. His friend. Their friend, who had worked so hard to make sure they found their way to each other.

"Think about it, Dorian. Rather than expend energy opening a new rift - if she can even do that on command... it might have been a reflexive action - I'd bet my life they're working their way toward-"

"-the closest open rift! Of course. Good thinking!"

Cullen raised an eyebrow and grinned at the mage. "I know."

Dorian narrowed his eyes. "What have I told you about getting smug, Commander?"

Cullen didn't care. He was actually enjoying the banter and riding high on the knowledge that Evana could still be out there, albeit in the Fade, and alive.

The scene in the courtyard, however, brought reality crashing back down. They fought hard for the next hour, but every time it seemed as though they were making headway, another wave of demons spawned from the rift. The longer it took, the more his confidence eroded into doubt and worry. What if they'd died in the fall anyway? What if she couldn't make it out? What if the demons in the Fade had killed them all? What if...?

After another half hour of continual fighting, it became apparent that he was going to need to set up shifts. More groups arrived from doing their sweeps of the fortress, and he began organizing units that would take turns resting and fighting.

As even more contingents arrived, including Iron Bull, Vivienne and Blackwall, he sent them back out to begin the task of looking for injured survivors. He charged them with triaging the injured and getting them to the camp just over the hill from the fortress where the healers waited to begin their work.

Iron Bull clapped Cullen on the back. "Don't worry, Commander. The boss has a way of getting out of sticky situations. She'll be out of that rift in no time."

Cullen didn't know how to answer, so he just sent Bull a tight smile and a brusque nod. Bull nodded back and turned to leave, calling out to Blackwall as he went.

"You should stay here and fight for the honor of the Grey Wardens or something. I'm going to find some attractive injured people to carry back to the healers. Heh, heh, heh."

Cullen couldn't help laughing at Bull's absurdity, but he felt it prudent to add, "Bull, don't you dare pass over an injured person simply because you don't think they're good looking enough."

Bull waggled an eyebrow at him. "Don't worry, Commander. My standards are low. For instance, you'd pass snuff for sure."

Cullen just shook his head. They were all tired, but he did appreciate the companions trying to keep up morale. Sera flipped around the back edges of the courtyard shooting arrows into demons and then merrily walked around during lulls to yank them back out of the piles of dead demon goop. Dorian kept up an occasional, sing-song-y "any time now" as they fought through wave after wave of demons.

But the men and women were frightened, and it was beginning to show. Their Herald had disappeared yet again, and this time the Champion and Warden Stroud had disappeared with her. Cullen did his best to not let his growing despair show through. She had made it into the Fade, but there was no guarantee she'd make it out.

Time crawled by a snail's pace. Cullen stared at the watery image of the Fade beyond the giant rift every chance he could and strained to see any hint of the Inquisitor or her party coming through. His previous confidence now in shreds, he prayed to the Maker as he cut through yet another round of wraiths and demons. Finally, during a reprieve, he briefly closed his eyes and willed his words to reach her as he uttered a haggard whisper into the glowing green light of the rift.

"Evana, where are you? Come back to me. I need you."

Suddenly, as if in answer to his plea, Cassandra, Varric and Solas tumbled out of the rift all at once. Cullen felt his heart soar... then come crashing down again. Just like at Haven, she'd sent her companions to safety before herself.

Seconds passed, but no one else came through. Maker, the emotional ups and downs were going to send him to an early grave. Where is Evana? Cullen rushed forward to catch hold of the exhausted Seeker and help her stand from where she'd fallen. His voice cracked as he repeated his thought aloud.

"Where is Evana?"

Cassandra looked up at him in a daze and then shook her head. "I do not know. She, Hawke and Stroud were directly behind us the last time I saw them. I would not have come through if I had thought..."

Varric and Solas looked back through the rift as if waiting. In the meantime, another round of demons spawned from the rift. The appearance of the Inquisitor's companions had sent a shock of energy through the exhausted troops, and they fought all the harder.

Cullen set his jaw and readied his sword to attack a nearby demon, trying to wrestle his emotions into some semblance of order. He believed Cassandra. Evana had been alive and well only moments ago. She was coming. Hawke and Stroud were still with her. She had to be coming.

He could not contemplate otherwise. Not again.

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